#like he sees them hanging out and he just thinks “yes!! they wont kill eachother!!”

[the-ourple-ouppy]

ky's stick of truth sona!!

ok so my headcanon is that kyle absolutely INSISTED that ky joins in w/ all their roleplaying shit to help him make more friends or whatever, yknow? so ky puts an outfit together, but cannot for the life of them come up with a name or a backstory of any of that stuff. so kyle and cartman (kyle forced him to help) help ky with their character!!

eventually, after a LOT of fighting (mostly between cartman and ky) they settle on a story. ky's character is the grand wizard king's royal scientist (kyle's way of making them work together) who makes a bunch of weird potions and sciency shit like that. they're basically the grand wizards right hand man, and they are NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT. while they're playing, they say shit like, "i'm only in this job for the money" or whatever. basically imagine a REALLY PETTY servant who complains about having to help the grand wizard, but never actually leaves their job. (ky hardly admits it but they actually think cartman isn't TOO awful)

after they have the backstory, ky and kyle decide to let cartman come up with the name! and what does cartman decide, you ask? cartman decides on the name "crazy ginger scientist" and his excuse is that since kyle is "high jew elf king" they match or some corny bs like that.

also i am having WAY to much fun w/ this!! i'll prolly post ky's tfbw sona pretty soon!

[dyedcomrade]

tw: dark, transph0bia, vi0lence, kind of unrequited love, cheating mention but a side character that doesnt exist canonically does it, gore additional tw: chris is dumb

reminder: i do this because i myself am trans and it's insane out here, especially knowing i wont get gender affirming therapy ever. i do this because i project myself onto almost every resi man i find hot. blocc, dont report. i dont support irl transphobia.

the fucking plane. fucking Chris. Wesker doesn't have time to get to uroboros, Chris tackles him before, straddling him and starting to beat him up spewing out profanities at him.

and in the heat of the moment the tought just slips out:

he tells Wesker he is an abomination and no matter how much he riots against biology he will always stay mortal and cant change the core of him which will always make her a woman.

and Wesker just fucking breaks. having to be lied to his entire life by some mad scientists and people thinking he is the same - he just wants to save the world! can't they see? how humanity is running towards their own destruction?

then the heartbreak he had realising he has to betray his team. chris not getting the fucking hint ever - why did he let him stay alive for so long? it would have been so easy to kill him, but he gave the boy so many chances to see his vision, to join.

despite all his efforts, decades of work, his dream being stolen from him.

first he degrades him by saying he is just one of umbrella's leftovers. and now ripping away all of his humanity, his identity, just like umbrella did.

going through files, he and Jill were in the Spencer estate, they found out Wesker is trans. the wording too in those files were strange, not stating Albert is his name, rather "refering to him as from then on". rather medical documents proved it as well and a brief mention in one of the diaries they found. at that time or maybe it's just Chris, transness was really something he couldn't grasp. of course he doesn't think it's on the same level as b.o.w.s,

Wesker goies into a panic attack. now is one of the rare occasions Chris realises he went too far. he may not get exactly what was it, but..Wesker always stood up whenever they tried to mess with his plans.

the feeling is new for Chris as well. until now one of his main motivation was to show his former boss just how capable he is, how his resolve is just as worthy as the older man's. this thing that kept lingering in his mind, even after he saw Wesker die before him. 'what could he be doing right now? maybe he isn't dead. maybe a miracle happened. someone other than them from the s.t.a.r.s. team made it out alive and searched for him, brought him to the hospital.' he could't grasp what this strange attachment he felt could be. he tought of love sometimes. and even more about what his friends reaction would be if he came out gay. he once had a high school romance, although it was kind of unrequited even though they put a label on themselves. the girl kept declining every one of his offers to hang out and he was only good for feeding her ego. in the end while Chris was away in a sports camp she cheated on him and lost her virginity with a guybin a one-night stand. since then he couldn't trust anyone enough to feel love towards them. sure he knew what comradery was and he always was a trustworthy friend but those butterflies upon seeing the other never returned.

but he expected Wesker to always show up somewhere along his fight against bioterrorism. he expected that in some way he always came out losing from these encounters. he looked forward to the next challenge this terrorist would give him, the sheer power of the two against eachother. always trying to beat some sense into the blonde, despite all his previous efforts failing. although he didn't expect their fighr to end anytime. it was impossible, yes, but what would they do then? did one of them have to die for it to end? maybe, he had hope that one day they could see eye to eye.

here they were, sadly, only the literaly sense of it and..the sorrow that he could see on Wesker's face..it broke his heart. was it over? what happens now? he felt just as lost as the man he just destroyed his life's work. in a sense Chris' life was over too. all this time he had been rebelling. at home, in the military, even in s.t.a.r.s. he was known for his thick skull.

he wanted comfort and wanted to give Wesker cimfort too. he didn't want to see this untouchable little god to cry.

he reached down and touched that red and puffy face. all the damage he can take without breaking a sweat and crying is what makes it an unrecognisable mess. he wipes the tears and blood away from his face, stroking it gently. then, as if it comes naturally, without thinking, like he has done this a thousand times before, he leans down and kisses his forehead.

Wesker is exhausted. he lets Chris throw in as many punches as he wants - let the boy have his enrichment. he will have to build another empire from the ground again. at least now he knows what they are doing and it needs a lot less experimentation. maybe some samples of uroboros remained intact..but now that he lets the outside world in, the punches have stopped. sure there is still someone sitting on top of him, but..why did he..? and he feels it. a gentle hand on his face. it's so unfamiliar. noone ever touched him like this. maybe he is hallucinating and Chris had managed to beat his brain into mush. not that it matters. his regeneration abilities can't be outmatched. a kiss? definitely brain damage. what he really feels is his frontal cortex oozing out.

- hey, i'm..i'm sorry. i didn't want us to end up like this. we may have gone too far with blowing your shit up.

is this really happening? his former pointman.. although it sure can be Chris. not realising what he fucked up is just like him.

Wesker puts his hand on Chris' thigh and taps it three times. he pats out just like old times when training with his agents. an ingrained response to this maybe, or Chris is really bad at risk assessment - he could still snap his neck in a heartbeat, still - he gets off and sits beside Wesker. the older man stays on the ground, his hand never leaving the other, holding onto those dirty cargo pants as if they were the only thing in his life he could cling onto. for sanity, a reason to keep going, for a chance to start over. but maybe now he didn't have to do it alone. or didn't even have to do it. terrorists could retire, right?

- you.. are so dumb...cretin. i have an apartment away from here in eastern-europe. wanna retreat, soldier?

[nighterclown]

Write out the flustoration write it out write it out

So I have a bit of a problem if you could call it that its like--it is a problem but I just ughhh

So the thing is I have my two really cool really fun friends that I love and cherish more than anything and anyone, honestly I would kill for these two but aside from that, I have some mildly concerning abandonment issues, that also goes with posessiveness over people that are important to me and a fairly annoying infiriority complex. From these thing I can most of the time look aside from and just have this small sting in my chest but not think about it and it goes away,, but thist time--- OHH this time it hits like a train,,

Thing is that I have this roommate/classmate for over 2 years now and, we are not compatible as roommates who see eachother 24 7 so we had our fair share of fights which resulted in shouting and swearing and hurting eachother,,, and in the past shoolyear Ive had it pretty rough and (even tho we talked about it and realised it was just kind of a misunderstanding) she hurt me a lot and made me close up around her. Im not mad at her im simply scared and unable to act my normal self around her cuz even tho she really wasnt she still was my abuser and made my condition last year a lot worse

So yes this person has always been really friendly and apealing and extroverted to most of our piers and that is fine we have our seperate friendgroups which gives me ease, I mean gave me ease until not so long ago she decided to talk to my friends more and more often, until its kind of bacame a thing that she hanging out with my two friends (spesificly one of them) outside of school which makes me feel really fucking shit my blood boila every time I see them hang out or talk with eachother and my heart leaps with the fear of feeling alone and abandoned. It makes me wanna cry, it makes me question my friends' intentions and feelings toward me, I fear my status in the our small closed trio dropping, I know im really annoying, whiny, not as smart as the others, not as funny and not as pretty as my roommate, and I just think these ppl can find anyone better than me

So I explained to this to one of my two friends (bc of course I have to go out of my way and whine about annoying shit, expose myself as someone who questios thier loyalty for me and once again cry and whine about it like a pathetic little spoiled brat) and of course she tried to reassure me that its okay its nothing like that and even tho they dont know what our other friend is thinking, but probably also that, that yes she is fun to be around and all but they wouldnt like to get to know them more personal, since shes not the kind of person they would befriend, which means a lot to one side of me, but the majority in my mind still rejects all that my friend said, I always felt infirior to all of my friends and my roommates in 84% of the things making me unable to cope with this.

Not to mention I also feel also about telling this to one of my friends (and fear telling it to the other) since I its non of my fucking business who are they talking to and befriending with, and its very wrong of me to have so much hate and fear inside of me for this but i just cant get myself together, and I dont know what will I do

Ill probably end up explaining this to my other friend too since its going to be just the three of us this thuesday afternoon and weekend, cuz maybe if I heard my other friend tell me the same (I dont know what to expect from him, this is something I dont think he can fully understand bc of his low empathy and avoidently attached mindset)

So yeah I wish this woudl all go away and leave me be since its also making my amgerissues resufice and I wont see my psichologist for a fucking month now and summer is fasr aproaching and I dont wanna throw up bc of all the feelings when one of them Will tell me that they met up with my roommate over the summerbreak

so yeah

Good to have a rant page with noone in here

[bakulova]

Being Soulmates would Include...

Young!Carol Denning X Reader. 

Hope you enjoy!

==========================================================

You had found each other when you were at school and she caught a glance at you and her world burst into color. You were putting textbooks away in your locker, minding your own business, a couple of friends walking up and saying hello. She waited till they left and marched up to you dragging you out of the school to somewhere no one can see you. “What’s your name?” You stare at her for a few seconds confused “Y/n...You?” “Carol” you both stand there for a few minutes then you realize that you can see the color of her clothes and the sky. “HOLY SHIT” you jump away from her spin around looking at the colors “COLORS” while looking around Carol lips turn up and she pulls you back towards her “W-we’re soulmates?” She nods nervously “Do... do you not want me?” She backs away, You realized that she was also probably freaked out “I do, trust me I do!’ you pull her towards you. You hold her hands “You wanna come over to my house after school so we can talk more about this?” she looks around “sure”. For the rest of the day, you can see her lurking around you waiting. 

After the first encounter she gets more attached even though she knows she shouldn’t she just cant help it. Every morning she comes and picks you up and you both go to school and every day she drives you back home and she spends time with you in your room doing homework and maybe learning more about each other. She hates leaving but you always tell her that she’ll see you tomorrow. The first time you left for a little family vacation she got all pissy. “why can’t you stay...” You chuckle “ it’s only for a week Carol you can last a week without me” “No I can’t” You shake your head and continue packing. When it gets time to actually leave to the great ol Florida she gets all huffy. “Carol calm down” “No... you can’t just leave...” You laugh and pull her into a hug “Carol...” You pull away and hold her face and she just pouts. “how about I give you a kiss and a scrunchie so you can remember me for now?” she thinks about it for a minute glaring at you “I want the one your wearing right now” You pull it out of your hair and give it to her “AND my kiss lady!” she hisses, you bust out laughing and give her a quick kiss. “Now lets go before you camp in my room.”  she gets in her car and goes home for the week. 

She comes to you when something happens at home. She tries not to yell at you and let the anger get the best of her. When she is angry she’ll either call your house phone or storm over and cry in your arms. You hear the phone ringing, you hurry over and pick it up “hello?” “Y/n” you can immediately tell she’s trying to keep it together. “Hey why don’t you come over?” She didn’t even respond she just hangs up. You silently put the phone back worried that now she was mad at you or something. You look at mom “I don’t know what just happened...” your mom looks up from her book “y/n whats going on between you two? It doesnt seem like your just friends?” You freeze “Mom really?” She shrugs “hey I won’t judge hard.” You deadpan “she’s my soulmate” you mom nods like she didn’t hear you “I said she’s my soulmate lady” “I know lady” she sassed back “She’s mad” She looked up from her book “Why” you shrug “family problems? Me? I dont know” “Well maybe she just needs alone time and calling you just didnt make her feel better.” You scoff “yeah sure.” You go back to your room and an hour later a knock on your door broke you from drawing whatever came to your mind. “Yes?” You get up and open the door to see Carol standing there blotchy and red. “Care...” she pulls you into a hug and burries herself in your neck “please hold me” she whispered. You pull her into your room and bring her to your bed and push her on it. “Lets cuddle yeah?” She nods and get comfy under the blanket and reaches for you. You smile and kiss her nose “I love you carol” she takes a deep breath “really?” You stare for a second “of course, your amazing and I can’t think of a time i was better without you, you complete me poopy head” she smiles and kisses your cheeks. “I’m not a poopy head” you chuckle and pull her closer “sure” you drag out the ending. “Shut up asshole” “Hey do you erm.. wanna talk about earlier or no?” She sighs into your neck “Not right now” “ok” you give her a kiss on the forhead and snuggle to sleep.

When she’s mad at you oof thats a whole different person all right. “Carol come on” “Fuck.You.” You sigh “I didn’t know” “You did. Don’t act like you didn’t” “He was all over you!” “No he wasn’t you sat you ass between us” “BECAUSE HE WAS ALL OVER YOU” she was finally at her breaking point. “I will kill that mother fucker” she tries to walk past you but you don’t let her. “Care come on” she tries to push you away but you dont let her. “Stop...” she continues to thrash around “STOP” she finally stops and looks down embarrassed. “Carol-“ you look at your feet “maybe you need to go home for now and cool down” she shakes her head “no no no no no please y/n” “ Carol I’m not ending this. Just go home and sleep and relax” she cups your face “I can only do that here please please please” you look her in the eye “Carol come on go.” You softly whisper and pull her hands from your face “You can come back soon just take some time for yourself I’ll wait” she stares at for a while longer and get her stuff and walks past you. Before she leaves you grab her arm and pull her in for a quick kiss “I love you alright” she nods “I love you too...” she goes in for another, you of course let her. “I’ll see you tomorrow” you nod “tomorrow”.

You guys sometimes question soulmate thing. But not in a negative way just in a questioning way. Why does it happen? Can there be soulmate in different universe who will never meet eachother you know the goodies. You guys pretend that you both know what your talking about. Its always when your about to sleep or when cuddling or doin homework.

She also likes to get candy and share it with you. “Hey look i got new jawbreakers!” She gives you one and she pops one into her mouth “mm this ones good” you nod “really?” You sit up from laying on the floor and pop the one she gave you in your mouth “ooo it is good!” She laughs and pulls out her notebook to draw.

I also see her as someone who stares at their s/o a lot. You could be doing chores and she’d just stare lovingly. “Carol... what is so loving of me cleaning a toilet?” She shrugs “I don’t know but you look really cute.” You roll your eyes “why don’t you help me asshole!” “My arms are suddenly broken...” you glare and she looks around avoiding your eyes. “Ass-cunt” she laughs “ooo is that a new insult?” You nod and laugh “hell yeah!”

She doesnt really share much on her homelife beside the fact that she hates them. She doesnt want you worrying your pretty little head. “Carol this doesnt make sense I share my problems all the time” “Easier for you I guess good job want a gold medal?” You groan she smirks and drags you down and starts tickling you. “HEY NO THIS IS ABOUT YOU NOT ME” you scream. “SHUT UP Y/N” your mom yells. “Yeah carol shut up” she smirks “no pretty sure that was your name.” You pout and ignore which we all know she does not like when people ignore her. Ecspecially her soulmate so of course she bothers you till you cant ignore her. Pokes, tickles you name it she has done it. All for you to notice her. You try to leave to get more snacks and she just wont let you. “Give me attention” you try not to smile. She tries to keep you in by pulling you from behind “stay!” You sigh, turn around and give her a big kiss and pull her arms from you and run away. “Thanks HA!” She gasps and chases after you “you freakin cheater come back!” ——————————————————————

All in all things going good on the soulmate side of not being in prison. May do one where you guys are actually in prison and find out your soulmates for both present and young maybe 👀.

[decadentenemyturtle]

The Great Unknown

Chapter 22

Words: 2,593

Pairing: Thorin x Reader

Warnings: Bad language, mostly cursing.

Translation: Gabil Lukhudel = Great of (all) lights

Âzyungel= Love of (all) loves

All the chapters of The Great Unknown

It talked. The bloody thing talked. You opened your mouth, then closed it. Why did it talk to you? How could it even talk? What was it? Some hullucination made by dark magic of the woods mixed with your fuzzy brains? What where you even suppose to answer to it?

"Whooo... aree... yooou?" it asked again. Right, your name. You should start by telling your name. But was telling your name to this thing a good idea? This or that, staying quiet wasn't a good option, you were sure of it. The elk turned now fully towards you and was probably going to ask you the same thing third time, when you took a deep breath and told it your name. For a while elk stared at you and then it shook it's head.

"No. Yooou aare not (Y/n). Remember.... whoo youuu.... aaaaare" elk said, sounding far too much of Mufasa from The Lion King. You frowned and folded your arms. What did it mean, remember who you are? Or did it refer to the story you had heard of Glorfindel and Shael? About you being their daughter? You didn't evevn know the name of that kid! Or if you even were this kid from the story!

"I'm (Y/n)! That's all I know of myself!" you shouted, frustaded. Because that was the truth. You didn't know who or what you were. You were just you, (Y/n). But, the elk turned away from you, not saying anything else to you. And then it was gone, hidden by the dark forest. Yeah. Right.

"FUCK you too!" you shouted after the thing. For a second you hoped that some hungry creature would find it and eat it. Mean thing to think about a forest God, yes, but fuck it. Your head was throbbing with a headache. How nice was that?

You lifted your left hand to message your temple, but stopped when you heard an voice. For an second you weren't sure what that voice was, it was just... It was a voice, alright?

When you opened your eyes, you saw tall, red haired... elf maiden? ... pointing an arrow to you. Ah... So that was what you had heard. Someone sneaking up to you and loading their weapon. You sighed and let your hand drop back to your side. Just great, this was all you needed. But no, there was more. A blode elf jumped down from a tree, calling this red haired elf as "Tauriel". Then his icy blue eyes turned to you, and you felt some sort of an familiarity in this person.

And just because the two of you looked at eachother.

And he must have felt somehing similar when looking at you, because his face fell. This Tauriel threw an look to you and then she turned to look at Blondy, talking to him in elvish. And after few seconds Blondy threw an look at her and answered. You didn't understand them, and you felt uneasy with this familiarity with this Blondy. You wanted to run, but you felt like a trapped deer, ready to be killed.

So, when this Blondy turned back to you, and addressed you by asking who you were - you weren't ready for this question after the weird God deer, because honestly, you didn't know who you were - you shook your head, took a step back and then you turned, and ran. And then you saw it, saw your savior. The raging river was just there. And the elves were just behind you.

You turned as a an otter and then, just as you were going to feel little preassure in your stomach when you started to fall towards the water, a hand catched you and withrew you back to the land. Altoguht, you weren't released from the grip. Instead, you were turned and met with two, maybe a little confused eyes of Tauriel, the one who caught you.

"What...?" you heard Tauriel ask. "She was just a daughetr of man! And now.... now... she's... Did you see...?" She was shocked, how surprising. You sighed. Just as you were ready to bite her hand, the Blondy took you and locked his eyes with you. You growled at him, well... Atleas you tried....

"Cute as always, cousin" he said and you froze. Did he just you call you his COUSIN?!

  Thorin sat in his lonely cell and recalled the moment they had realized they had lost sight of (Y/n).

Panic.

Shouting.

Cursing.

Helplesness.

Then Bilbo was gone. More panic.

Thorin himself felt these things.

There was no hope. She should have gone with Gandalf, Thorin knew. Somehow Thorin just knew. Some things would have turned right, if she had, but now? No hope, no hope, no hope, no hope, no hop.....

And then, the spiders. And after they were attacked by these wile creatures, the darkness came siddenly, with a little hint of pain and sting in his lower belly. And then Thorin had received his nightmares. Nightmares of involving (Y/n). They were so... strange. She was tall, but still Thorin knew she wa not in age yet. Just a chil, maybe a teen at most. Like he was. They both were crying. Mahal, Thorin realizised at some point, he was there with her, in a battlefield. Orcs and animals and elves and dwarves, and screaming everywhere.

And then.... And then... he had...

Thorin's eyes threw up to meet Bilbo's blue ones. He had heard a voice...

"Should I get you lad's out of here, or is sulking in here something you'd rather do?" Bilbo asked, grinning a little. Those few dwarves who were awake and had heard Bilbo, shout-whispered his name. And Thorin felt a little spark in his heart. Spark of hope.

"Bilbo! Is... is she with you?" he asked. But when Bilbo shook sadly his head, Thorin felt his heart sink. She was still lost. She was lost for him. His Gabil Lukhudel. Thorin's eyes dropped back to the door of his cell. His Âzyungel was lost for him. Probably forever. Thorin heard a sound and the the door opened. And then Bilbo spoke.

"C'mon on now, Thorin. Let's go find (Y/n). She's a clever woman" Bilbo's voice was kind, and Thorin found himself lifting his eyes to meet Bilbo's kind ones. He would desserve to be one of the uncle's of his babe's, Thorin suddenly thought. And then Bilbo's eyes took that knowing clint, and how he smiled that wide, toothy grin of his- and added "She's far more a glever and stronger woman than we thought. More than enough to be a queen of the Lonely Mountain. Mere spider's wont get her" 

And a tear fell down Thorin's cheek. A queen under The Mountain was more stronger than he had thought. And he believed it now.

Thorin nodded and walked to the door.

"My wife is stronegr than I believed. And I thank you for reminding me from that" Thorin said, smiling a little. And Bilbo grinned, keeping the cell door open for Thorin. "She is stronger than she herself thinks"

"She's not yer wife yet, laddie" Dwalin tried to humor Thorin from few sells away. Thorin turned to glare the direction where Dwalin was, but then he sighed.

"She will be, soon" he murmured more to himself than anyone else. And then he, and the rest of the company, followed Bilbo to the cellar's. Their bulgar had some sort of an better idea for escaping than the front door, which, the more Thorin tought about, was better and safer idea. So, he ordered the other's to hide in the barrel's and the then down they went, first dropping down to the river and then they travelled alongside the river.

Everything had went well, until their escape was stopped by a sudden shout in elvish and guard of the river gate, well, did his job and closed the gate. Thorin cursed, and tried to slam the gate open, but in vain. Nori, Kili, Dwalin and Bifur jumped off from their barrels, and together they managed to tackle the guard down, Dwalin and Nori opening the gate. Then the four jumped down to their barrels, and the journey could finally continue.

  Thranduil stood in his throne room, alone with four guards, facing a far away wall, not really seeing anything. His mind was occupied by many things.

So many things had changed just in a few days. One of the guards had entered in throne room about twenty minutes ago, claiming that Thorin Oakenshield with his dwarven company had just escaped via river, hiding in the empty wine barrels.

None of them should be hurt, my lord, the guard had said. But, just as the dwarves had escaped - after few of them had taken down the guard in watch over the river gate after it had been closed- handful of orcs had stumbled from the forest. A little too late, it seemed, since they seemed to be after the dwavres as they didn't pay as much mind to the elves as one would think, and they ran alongside the river after the barrels, the guard mentioned.

They were in luck, Thranduil thought. The number of the spider's were rising, as were the orcs near Dol Guldur. They had no need for these sudden orc raids. Thranduil didn't want to send his scouts after these horrible creatures, didn't want to risk their lives. They had taken too many of his loved ones, and the king did not want to put his subjects in on a danger, even if they voluntered to go outside of the walls of his kingdom.

Then, Thranduil's thoughts were ceased by none other than his trusted guard, Feren. He looked a bit rigid, and concerd. That was enough for Thranduil to know that something was wrong. Very much so.

"My Lord, it's your son... One of the guards at the front gate just informed me. Legolas and Tauriel have left, most likely after the orc scout" Feren informed. Thranduil closed his eyes and released an shaky breath. No, he thought. Not another one of his closest ones.

  You stared at Blondy, your jaw hanging down a little. Tauriel, who still stood next to this Bondie, stared at him, her jaw also hanging in shock.

"Cousin?!" she managed to chocke. Blondy turned to her and his brow rose. Tauriel turned to you and then back to Blondy. "But.... I thought.... I thought all the Guardians were dead" Your eyes snapped to Tauriel and your tail wiggled a little. The Guardians? Did she mean... Could she possibly mean Shael and her people? The Maiar's who could transform themselves into an animal's?

"Yes. I heard my father once talk about them, with Feren. He mentioned that aunt Shael had managed to save her daughters life, or rather her... soul. Her fae... Would you, please, turn back to your... normal form?" Blondy told Tauriel, saying the rest for you a little annoyed. You sighed, and bondered an second if you should nibble his hand, and then dismissed the idea, turning back to human. Blondy's hand setteld on your shoulder after you had turned, and you noted that you were much shorter than he was.

Well... What a surprise, you were about as tall as a dwarf, maybe a head taller than Thorin.

"Better, blondy?" you asked, letting the annoyance be heard in your voice. And then you noted a little smile rise in corner of the Blondy's face.

"Still calling me blondy, it seems...." he murmured. You threw an look to Tauriel, but decided she would not be any help for you. She looked far too amused, even when she did try to hide it. You took a deep breath and then released it.

"Would you please explain me, what the actual fuck is going on?" you pleaded. Both Blondy and Tauriel turned serious as their gaze fell on you. "I'm sorry to say this, but... I don't know you. I don't remember you. Neither of you. I don't remember being an... what you called it? Guardian? I don't even remember ever, never living in... HERE. All I know and remember of me being (Y/n), an adopted daughter of Regina and Robin, that I lived in Stoorybroke and then in NY. And then.... when I had a fight with my adoptive mother, I... went to an walk and found myself in here, traveling with Gandalf and.... Oh fuck me...." you rambled, losing your nerve. Then, when you remembered than there was this stubid wizard called Gandalf, did you remeber that little, weird company from past few months, who these two really were...

Your brains really had failed you. Thanks, stupid, dark forest, big God like deer roast, headache, these stupid elves from scaring you and taking your mind elsewhere. You forgot the movie.

If these two were here, it meant that your friends had escaped, which meant that... You turned even more pale, and turned towards the river, and the big lake and the Lonely Mountain far in the horizon.

"Oh no..." you whispered and then you turned back to the elves, who were eyeing you.

"You didn't happen to see thirteen dwarves on your way here?" you asked, looking at your so-called cousin and his red haired friend. They shared an look and then they turned to you, both looking a little grim.

"Please don't say they are friends of yours" Blondy said, looking a little disappointed. Your eyebrow rose and you grossed your arms. Right, he didn't like dwarves, and neither did Tauriel. Expect for the one specific.

"One of them may be my loved one, but oh... I don't know..." you answered sarcastically. Blondy stared at you, his jaw clenching, and then, finally, he sighed, turning away from you. You turned your eyes to Tauriel, and frowned at her natural expression. She was rather good at hiding her expression's, when she wanted to, or she didn't like Kili, or then he was alright. You prayed for the latter.

"Are they alright? Is anyone of them hurt?" you decided to ask from her. Tauriel shook her head a little.

"None of them is hurt.  They manages to nock down one of our guards, and the orc pack came few minutes later after they escaped" she answered. You nodded, accepting her answer. You could somehow sence that she was telling the truth. And the little hesitation she held back. You had to smile at that.

"You love one of them? Who?" Blondy asked, his back still turned towards you. You turned your eyes to him and bit your lower lip. You didn't trust him enough to tell him about you and Thorin. You didn't trust him to tell the truth about anything he had said before. Not without you not knowing the truth yourself.

"Now that is none of your business" you told him, glaring at his back. Blondy sighed and turned around to look at you. He didn't look angry, rather... disappointed and sad? You felt uneasy at this, not quite sure why he wasn't angry at you being in love with an dwarf. Like you excpeted him to be.

"I just don't understand why you would love an dwarf, when it was his race that got your mother and you entire race killed" he said, locking his eyes with you. You felt your insides freeze. You knew threre was more to the story that you had heard, but... still... This was not what you had expected.

Tag-list;

@lidda @bee-wrecker @queendarkmuffin @silencegetawayfromme @kettnerjanea @sdavid09 @ealasaid @jumpingmanatee @fab-notfat @bae-age @fricking-ghoul @k-youre-a-fantasy @dumbgopher1 @maddybeck01 @naminalati @leah-halliwell92 @evyiione @tschrist1 @red608 @aliendaddiesneeded @letsbeinspiredby @jotink78 @dragongirl642 @shxrrybomb @awaiting-pointless-dreams

[ardentlythieving]

Badfic

Ok so I found a bad fanfic generator site and me and some peeps from bibtown made a fic together @scuzzball555 @professorfreeky I’m sharing it here so I dont lose it because it’s terrible. site is http://fanficmaker.com/

A/N: All my story's take place in a alternate reality where the characters act this way.

--- Later, once they were alone and away from the others, Bob Vur Goof met with Adonis in a nearby hut They had been meeting like this awhile now, often in the evenings or at night. A deep friendship had struck up after their previous adventures, but they kept it hidden as they didn't know what the others would think. They often did some talking, some carpentry, maybe a few board games. They were quite close friends by now.

This particular night they were shearing secrets with eachother. Telling eachother things neither had told anyone else before. Things that not a single soul knew.

"Then there was that time I...Destroyed Portias lightsaber!" "oh, Bob Vur Goof! thats positively evil! and I should know!" They both laughed. The night had been full of stories like this. The time Adonis blackmailed a a Biochemist. Or the time Bob Vur Goof fooled a Astronaut into thinking it was the end of the world.. Endless stories shared just between them and no one else. It was making them closer. Closer then Bob Vur Goof had ever thought possible. As Bob Vur Goof was telling another story, He thought He saw Adonis examining Him. Looking with..was that longing? nah...couldn't be. The moment was over and they departed eachothers company. Bob Vur Goof felt something had changed that night, but wasn't sure what. --- Felicia had been fighting Tracy-Sams troops all night.. (but nicely, so as not to hurt them too badly) -- Bob Vur Goof at that moment felt in his pocket. Thats strange there was a note. It said He should rendezvous at the demolished beach at sunset.

Bob Vur Goof kept this secret as it was clearly just for Him. --- Felicia was sitting in Prison one day, with Portia. They were doing their favorite pass-time:carpentry.

As they did this together Felicia gazed deep into her  eyes. “Oh,Portia , I have something very important to tell u.” “Yes, splenda-filled honeybunches of oats ?” she said, batting her eyes. Felicia  said, ”I hate you now!” Then he took her arm and tore it off. Felicia took her arm and started hitting her with it. She exploded because she was a demon, but she was okay. Felicia  walked away. “Cool guys don't look at explosions." Portia  giggled.

The next day... A/N I got bored with the story but then I read this really cool story about putting the characters in high school! It will be full of love and family issues and other cool stuff@

Tracy-Sam is like the school bully but everyone likes Them. And Felicia is like the loaner who just does snakeboard tricks on her own because no one likes her. It's really unfair to Felicia because she is really cool actually but no one at the school knows about her superpowers.

Felicia was in class. She was paying well attention because Felicia wanted to go to the best universities. But like always, annoying Tracy-Sam was being an meany as always. They was annoying other people in class and the teacher but their rep protected them. Until Felicia could take it no more. Felicia stood up and said: "Look, that you want to spend the rest of ur life in a call center aint my problem!" Tracy-Sam stopped and looked at hero with fury. Others in the class gasped. No one said that to Tracy-Sam (althoguh everyone ws secrfetly thinking that). Tracy-Sam laughed and got up from their seat and grinned masly. "What do you want,pointdexter? are u here to tell me what to do, huh?" Felicia gulped. She had not thought of what to do next now. But then Portia and The Beautiful Bob Vur Goof rized from tier seats too. Felicia looked at them. they nodded back at her and with their arms crossed they looked like they could take Tracy-Sam on! And when Felicia looked on her right, she saw that the teacher had hid himself behind the desk. Even the teacher thought it was suicide to confront Tracy-Sam like this! So Tracy-Sam rose up and walked to Felicia and they said: "I will see you after school. In my turf. U know where to find it!" "I'll be there, said Felicia certain of herself! And Tracy-Sam left, leaving behind a trail of cold and shivers went down Felicia's spine. This wasn't going to end well. They arrived at Tracy-Sam's iggloo and entered "You have arrived I see. Pitty, I was just talking to my Boss" "Your boss?" said everyone. "HE MEANS ME!!!" Suddenly, SATAN appeared behind them!

"OMG" they all said in unison. "Your G wont save you now, mere mortals" With that, they struck down his falk and killed The Beautiful Bob Vur Goof. "You bastard. You Will Pay For That.". "You see? I am evil. I killed. I am Satan" "My sister is the most amazing girl in the city." said Felicia. "What??" Felicia smiled softly as he knew what he meant. Dramatically,Felicia pulled out HIS BIBLE! "With the TRUE word of GOD our savior and with the power of CHRIST I compel you to LEAVE!" "NOOO ARRGGGG NOT THE HOLY WORD OF GOD! MY POWERS OF COMMUNISM AND GOVERNMENT OVERREACH IS NO MATCH!!!"

Satan exploded with the holy light of justice! . "This is true power, not that evil magic" said Felicia! --- "Why are you looking at me like that? Its almost like your want me badly. Ha Ha!" Bob Vur Goof chuckled.

"You're my one true friend, Bob Vur Goof, probably the best one I've had in a long time. I like talking to you, hanging out with you, and I even love listening to you sing. ...And now that you've pointed it out, I think I might like to hug you a bit"

"You're touching me. That's not considered appropriate behavior," Bob Vur Goof whispered, His bottom lip trembling while His limbs felt frozen.

"Maybe not. But I don't think you're going to stop me." Adonis stroked His hand up Bob Vur Goof's hip, and pulled His shirt from his trousers. Bob Vur Goof's eyes fluttered shut when He felt Adonis's fingers touch the skin of His lower back. But He forced them open again and stared into Adonis's pretty eyes.

"I should stop you." Bob Vur Goof knew He should. This was Adonis. Adonis! Could He dare wreck their close friendship? And what about their destiny? But that didn't bother Bob Vur Goof nearly as much.

"Stop me," Adonis said, and made it sound like a dare.

Bob Vur Goof was all set to give Adonis a glare, but it faded away when He got his first real look at Adonis.I mean sure, Bob Vur Goof had seen Adonis before, but not REALLY seen them. Not with these new eyes which Bob Vur Goof now had. His eyes had been opened.

Adonis's manly chest. His pretty neck. His uncontrollable eyebrows.

In point of fact, Bob Vur Goofs mouth went a little slack and there may have been some drool.

It dripped on Adonis. Adonis didn't seem to mind Bob Vur Goofs fluids though. Any kinda of fluid dropping on Him was fine it seemed. "ewww" He said but half way it turned to a "owwwwwww". "owwwwwww"! It was a "owwwwwww" of pleasure. It was the first of many sounds to come But then they shock hands firmly and said goodbye. Nothing else happened.

"Our work here is done" With that, they all went home, safe in the knowledge that Satan was gone and GOD was protecting them all along.

The End

[rhapsody-in-heaven]

the “perfect girl”

we met at a club.

i had about 8 shots that night. i wasnt drunk, and i didnt feel like i was doing stupid things or anything like that. but with that about of alcohol you couldnt have called me sober.

you danced pretty well. and with the amount of alcohol i had i blurted out “how do you move like that?!” maybe that surprised you, maybe that intrigued you either way we started dancing. at one point you started making out with me. at first it was fine. it was a night out and i was having fun at a club.

but then it got too aggressive, it happened to much and you came on too strong. but i never told you to stop. because im awkward. and i dont have much experience. and i just dont know how to say no once somethings already started. we were dancing for far too long too. my legs were killing me. and although it was fun at first, it got too long and i didnt feel like i was having fun anymore. and again, you were aggressive. eventually my legs couldnt take anymore and i needed to sit down I thought that that was a subtle hint that i was done. you came with me tho. I was sitting with my legs together  but you swung them apart, came really close and started stroking my crotch. id be lying if i told u i didnt feel uncomfortable. it was hot, i was tired, and i was sitting with my legs together for a reason. still i didnt know how to tell you no. and no, im not blaming you.  you didnt know, i shouldve said something. but i just didnt know how to tell you to stop. maybe you thought i was into it i dunno. i assumed what happens at the club stays at the club, so more or less i was fine. 2am rolled around. the club was closing. you asked if i wanted to go back to your place. I said i didnt think that was a good idea. you backed off. you asked for my facebook ohkay cool - why not? (looking back tho, i regret saying no not that you were a bad guy or anything, but i feel like i unintentionally led you on). and that was that. except it wasnt. you messaged a lot. and in those messages it actually seemed like you wanted to get to know me. that was - unexpected. you told me i was cute and pretty and that you couldnt get me outta your head. and i felt like you were into me. but again, im super inexperienced and i dont like to assume things. you were with me for less than an hour and i wasnt sober. and now i get this vibe that youre into me? very into me. there were times you asked to hang out  and trust me i thought about it. you seem like a fine person. but our schedules never really worked out. plus i felt like you were into me and didnt wanna lead you on. then came kosmic. you messaged me asking if i wanted to get a drink. i said sure. i was expecting to pay my own. but you did before i could get the money out. i didnt want you paying because  1. no ones ever done that unless they were a friend. 2. i didnt wanna feel obligated to stay with you because you did. we talked and chatted and u asked me why i never met up with you. if i just broke up with a boyfriend or had another boy or if u werent my type. “ahh” i thought “he is into me” i told you the truth - ive had two boyfriends ive know each of them at least 18 months before starting. truthfully even now i still dont really know what it was you wanted from me. was it a relationship? was it a fling? if you say youre “into me” i kinda get that i peaked your curiosity enough that you wanna know more about me. if you say you “liked” me, that’s where i have a problem. you know nothing about me. that girl you thought i am is not me. you hung out with me while i wasnt even sober for not even an hour. how can you tell me you like me. you say you can be yourself around me. that its so natural to just be you when your around me. i feel awkward right now i feel awkward anytime a guy ive just met is msging me a lot and chasing after me. thats the real me too. the me who goes crazy with her friends is the real me as well. the me who tries to keep it professional at work is me. and the me who cries herself to sleep is me too. im not trying to pretend to be someone im not around you. so yes i feel natural too  but my natural around you is not a comfortable natural. its awkward natural.

but you dont know that, you dont even know i feel awkward right now. you know nothing about me. you say that it doesnt matter? ohkay maybe for you it doesnt, but for me it does. we talk for a while. well kinda - its loud and to be honest i cant hear most of whats being said. not exactly the best place to have a conversation. you tell me i dont seem awkward like i said. if only you knew how awkward i felt.  this dream girl you have conjured up in your head. the one who you cant get out of your mind. Is. Not. Me. you’ve idealized me into your perfect girl. when the truth is you know NOTHING about me. want an example? you told me that when you go clubbing u usually dunt dance with girls. but you did with me because it felt so natural. i tell you that i dance with anyone i can - thats not to say a lot, thats just to say i dont mind dancing with strangers if its for a night of whole hearted fun. you tell me you didnt know that ....exactly my point. you say we could still have fun tonight. and you start making out with me, so aggressively that I feel like a doll. again, i dunt know how to tell you to stop. you stop for a while give me this shrug like youre done and go in again - and again - and again. “the way you kiss too!” you say. “youre always smiling so i dont wanna stop” I think to myself, im smiling?? riiight i smile when i feel awkward and dunno what to do. omg my personality itself is making him misunderstand.

because at that moment i felt so fucking uncomfortable. i felt like a doll, an object - and yet i still couldnt tell you to stop. im not blaming you, i should have told you, and i really need to learn how to say stop. but if you thought for one second i was enjoying it that just proves how much you dunt know me. it was fine at first, but after it wasnt. and the dancing that night? with you it was never fun. the alcohol in my stomach and the fact ur so aggressive. holding on to me so tight that i felt the need to throw up. and spinning me around so hard you spun me to the ground. yes i had alcohol and i wasnt exactly sober but i danced with others that night but i didnt exactly fall on my butt with them. see when i said i wanted to dance, i wanted to dance with my friends. how do i tell you that this was fun, but i wanna have fun with other people now. i didnt know how. anyways stomach was queezy u were holding onto me too tight. i needed to throw up. so i went to the washroom  it wasnt a lot - out and done with in 5 seconds. i came back out - you were there. i get some water, sit for a while and tell you that im heading back down to the dance floor. you lose me in the crowd. i get a message telling me that youre at the bar on the second floor. should i ever wanna come and “hang”.

ive been “hanging” with you for the last 90 mins.  i actually felt that was 70 mins too much. i ignore the msg. i have fun dancing with my friends. I regret not leaving after the first 20 mins because i felt like the night would have been so much more fun. youve met me twice in person both times i had a number of shots in my system you see how ridiculous you telling me you like me sounds to me?

you say you dont need to know me, im sorry, i gotta call bullshit on that.

how did you feel when you found out that i could dance with anyone? did u still feel like i was the one sent from heaven?

how was it when you started to realize i was right? that the person you like is not the girl sitting in front of you, but in fact does not exist?

ive said this before and ill say this again, even now, i have no idea what you wanted. was it a relationship? was it a fling? i dont know. but telling me you like me without knowing me and trying to get to know me more as a person is not that convincing after you asked me to go back to your place after that first night at the club. it wasnt the fact that i broke up with someone or that there was someone else it was the fact that i didnt know you and didnt know what youre intentions were. i dont mind flirting at a club  and having some dirty fun. as long as it stays there.

and thats what i was doing. i thought thats what you were doing too.

if youre trying to convince me otherwise maybe you shouldnt have made out with me maybe you shouldnt have played with my crotch maybe you shouldnt have asked me to go back to your place. even making out i get, touching my crotch is a step too far, and asking me to go back with you, just feels like youre looking for a one night stand. telling me im the girl you cant get out of your head, who you want to get to know on a more emotional level, is not convincing when you stroke my crotch and ask me to go back to your place an hour within meeting eachother without ever asking anything other than my name and my major. that “perfect girl” only exists in your mind. today you message me saying that you were thinking about what i said. why you found me attractive, because you didnt know me i danced with you for so long and that you love dancing. was there something more you were going to say? it seems like a half finished thought, and honestly im kinda curious. but its been a few hours and even though youre online, you havent replied. maybe if you do - ill be completely honest with you and tell you everything i talked about here (in summary of course) but you probably wont.