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oflgtfol · 1 year
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oh mein gott
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askdawnandvern · 7 years
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A Lamb Among Wolves Ch:27
So we've got a long one this week, and this is only really part one of three when it comes to a portion of the story I'm dubbing as "Girls Night". Part two is equally as long, if not longer. And there's a palette cleanse between part 2 and three where we will be dropping in on the boys. There would probably be more portions of boys night, and maybe there still will, but honestly I just want to get through act two of the story and move on already. Even though I know a number of you would like this story, and especially bits like this to go one forever.
My apologies for posting relatively late today, its kind of looking like a hectic week what with Thanksgiving approaching. I spent most of today running all over doing prep for it only to come home and have a bad health issue crop up pretty hard. I don't want to go into details but it's making things a bit harder when I have to force myself to rest because of it. I have things to draw, passages to write, and I can't let it get in the way of that but it does sometimes. I really hope you like this chapter. It was fun to write, and I hope it proves as fun to read. But, lets dive in, this bad boy is long enough as it is without me rambling...
Chapter Twenty Seven: Girls Night: Rule Breakers
"But enough stallin' sis." Ada grinned widely at the ewe. "You gonna spill it or what?"
"She doesn't have to if she doesn't want to!" Vanna said with a huff, her muzzle still flushed with red. "Lay off Ada!"
Dawn hadn't even registered Ada's provoking statement, she had been far too lost in thought over the confirmation that Vanna had indeed broken the Hunter house rule. Vanna, who on all accounts seemed to be the most responsible and rule abiding out of all the Hunter girls, had willingly defied Audrey's wishes. It was simply impossible for the ewe's mind to parse. Dawn was stuck staring at Vanna in shock as the feline's eyes met hers again. Vanna's ears flattened against her head as she shrunk deeper into her shoulders.
"I mean...I um..." Vanna sputtered as the ewe's senses returned, making Dawn aware of the gawking stare she had levied at the tigress. The ewe quickly turned her gaze away, trying to play it off with an awkward cough. "Things happen sometimes, right? We don't need to say anything more!"
"Youse are just tryin to save yer own hide kit kat!" Ada cackled. " If old fluff ball doesn't have to tell, den needa do youse right?"
"No!" Vanna snapped back, drawing a paw over her scalp frantically before slipping back into a more confident posture. The large tigress folded her arms, glowering at the still smugly grinning hyena. "I mean, it's wrong to try to pressure someone into talking about something they aren't comfortable sharing!"
"Vanna's right." That had come from Qali. The petite fox was now curled up at the foot of her bed, clutching a pillow tightly as she eyed the rest of the group. The fox frowned for just a moment as she spoke, letting out a disappointed sigh before her smile suddenly returned.
"That's why we should tell her about when we broke the rule first!" She happily chirped, giving her pillow a tighter squeeze. "That way it will make her way more comfortable about sharing her own story!"
"Now wait a min-"
"That ain't a bad idea Snowball!" Ada cut Vanna off. The hyeness flashed the big cat another smug grin before shifting her attention back to the arctic fox.
"Why don'cha start us off, and we'll go around da room?" Ada added.
Qali's response was an eager one, the diminutive arctic fox stowing her pillow behind her before giving the mattress a few more playful bounces as she clapped her paws together.
"Oh, okay!" The fox chirped happily as she settled back onto her mattress. Resting one paw against her cheek, the vixen placed a finger to her lower lip, tapping it lightly. She seemed to be thinking over just how to begin, rolling her eyes back slightly as she softly 'hmm'd' to herself. While this was going on, Vanna had simply placed her head in her paw, her shoulders slumped in seeming defeat. Dawn wasn't keen on the prospect of retelling the exact details of her own lurid exercise with Vernon in the field, but she would be lying if she said she was uninterested in hearing the other girls own stories, especially Vanna's.
With a sudden snap of a finger, Dawns attention was drawn back to Qali. The vixen was now leaned up to the edge of the bed, both her arms now prone against the mattress as she flashed a wide grin.
"Alright, so this was the last time we were out, back when Trenny first graduated." Qali said. "You remember Dawn, I mentioned it in the truck."
Dawn nodded softly, moving closer to the foot of her bed as she prepared to give the vixen her full attention. Easing around Vanna, the ewe slid up to the edge, sitting herself in much the same way Qali had.
"You mean the first time you met Audrey and Dorian?" Dawn asked in shock.
Qali gave a brisk and energetic nod.
Dawn placed a hoof to her lips to hide her surprised expression. The stories had just gotten started and already it had turned out that the ewe had not been alone when it came to tainting her first official family meeting. Although considering Qali's general personality, the ewe felt that perhaps she shouldn't have been so shocked.
"We had been out here for...hmm..." Qali murmured as she once again brought a claw to her chin, tapping it questioningly. "It had to be two days at most." Qali affirmed with a soft nod.
"Ol' Auddey wanted me and Trenny to help clean out the closet in the boys room." She placed a paw against her cheek. "Move some of the more important stuff out to the barn and yadda, yadda, something." Qali waved her other paw dismissively.
"You mean the room downstairs right?" Dawn asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion. "The closet that looks like a bomb went off inside of it?"
Qali nodded without missing a beat. "Hee hee, I guess it went back to being a dump pretty quick huh?" Qali chuckled. "But I assure you Trenny had straightened it up."
"Anyway..." The fox continued. "We had just moved a few things out to the barn and Trenny was already in the closet by the time I got back inside." Qali raised a paw. "So I slipped in to the closet after him and closed the door behind me. No big deal, we had been doin' that all day right?" Qali asked.
Dawn nodded slightly despite the fact the question was clearly rhetorical.
"So we get a bunch more boxes together, and we go to carry 'em out." Qali continued.
"So like two for you den squirt?" Ada chuckled.
Qali glared back at the large hyeness briefly. "Yeah, so?" Qali snorted. "They were big boxes!" Qali crossed her arms.
"I'm sure dey were." Ada mocked, rolling her eyes as she teased the vixen.
"Let's see you come down to my families farm and lug around a fifty pound tree before makin' judgements!" Qali snapped. "And those boxes were holding your mates weight lifting set by the way!"
"Yeah, yeah, sure, sure." Ada said, a clear tone of disinterest lacing her reply as she waved a paw. "Just go on wit da story already."
Qali furrowed her brow before turning her attention back to the group at large.  The fox let out an annoyed huff.
"So, anyway..." Qali muttered flashing the large canid one more nasty glare before continuing. "Trenny goes to open the door, and what do you know, it's stuck."
"So you were locked in?" Dawn asked.
"The door doesn't have a lock." Qali corrected. "But the wood frame tends to warp in the summer..." The fox trailed off, tapping a claw to her chin. "At least that's what Auddey told me later."
"So what did you do?" Dawn questioned.
"I tink she made it pretty clear in da beginning what she did. Weren't youse payin' attention?" Ada chuckled.
Dawn shook her head dismissively. " I mean, what did you do to try to get out?"
Qali shrugged. "Everything really." The arctic fox sighed. "Trenny and me tried calling for help, prying it open, everything short of breaking the door down. Mostly because Trenny wasn't keen on the idea of having to pay to replace the door himself." Qali rolled her eyes. "Of course ol' Auddey was out picking up groceries at the time, so we were just going to have to wait it out."
"Lamb sakes..." Dawn murmured quietly.
"And the worst part was that the closet wasn't connected to the house's air vents." Qali groaned. "It was stifling in there, all the built up Summer humidity was locked inside that tiny room."
Dawn grimaced sharply at the thought. Just a few weeks prior to their visit to the Hunter Ranch, the central air conditioning unit in her and Vernon's shared apartment had broken down, and the couple was forced to endure a week at the mercy of the stifling humidity that built up in their rainforest adjacent home. It was torture, although the ewe was grateful that they at least didn't live in Sahara Square. But for an arctic fox, who's fur was thick and built to combat the cold, Dawn could only imagine being subjected to overbearing humidity was that much worse.
"So naturally we ended up stripping down to little more then underwear and over-shirts." Qali giggled. "Well at least I did, Trenton was holding out."
"Probably because he was trying to avoid puttin' himself in a situation that might lead to rutting." Vanna finally spoke, although her response was low and quiet.
"Didn't woik." Ada chuckled.
"So there we were, killing time by playing board games and junk while we prayed for Mama Hunter to get home." Qali continued. " And it was soooo boring..."
"Not a fan of board games I take it?" Dawn asked.
"Not this girl." Qali chirped, pointing a thumb to her pelt. "I like active stuff, like taking walks, swimming, and snow sports especially. I'm an excellent snow boarder!" The fox said proudly. "But musty old board games where you have to sit and take turns and wait a whole bunch practically puts me to sleep."
Ada laughed. " I hear dat."
"So when we started playing cards....well..." Qali grinned widely. "I decided to try to make it interesting." The diminutive foxed waggled her eyebrows suggestively.
"O-oh?" Dawn asked, her curiosity peaked despite knowing where the vixen's story was inevitable leading. "How so?"
"Strip poker." Qali giggled.
"Nice." Ada replied with an impish grin.
"And I lost..." Qali added with a mischievous grin of her own.
Dawn placed her hooves over her mouth. "O-ho my." Dawn said, doing her best to suppress her own smile.
"On purpose." Vanna added.
"Of course on purpose!" Qali giggled. "Why else would I want to play?"
Vanna simply rolled her eyes.
"Now I thought you said ya'll were already stripped down to yer undergarments." Malcolm chuckled.
Qali smirked. "It was a short game." The diminutive fox giggled. "He was skeptical of course, but with a worried frown and a playful bat of my eyes I was able to convince him it was just to make him more comfortable. To get him out of that stifling clothing and relax a bit." Qali feigned an innocent expression, flicking a paw lazily. "He thought I just wanted to help, but instead I was out to hustle him." Qali brought her paw to her lips as a blush began to form on her muzzle.
"Ya'll tricked him?" Malcolm said with a quiet laugh. "And how'd ya manage that? I thought ya'll said you didn't care fer parlor games and the like?" The russet wolf raised an eyebrow.
"Just because I don't like them doesn't mean I don't know how to play them!" Qali laughed. "My Dad was a card shark, and he passed that on to me and my sisters." Qali grinned evilly. "I just hadn't told Trenny at the time."
"Ohhh!" Ada cooed knowingly. "Bad foxy."
Qali giggled in response.
"So what happened?" Malcolm pressed, the wolf hiding his grin behind clenched paws.
"Well I was out of clothes, so I had to bet something." Qali cooed. "So I told Trenny if he beat me with his next hand, well..." Qali's smile grew practically cheshiren in size, practically stretching from ear to ear. "Let's just say I told him I'd wrap my muzzle around mount Trenny for a while."
Dawn raised an eyebrow in confusion breifly. "Mount Tre-?" As realization hit the ewe, a deep crimson blush rapidly followed. Qali offered a simply nod in response, as if to further affirm the ewe's conclusion as to just what part of Trenton's body the diminutive fox was hinting at.
"Again, he was totally against it at first." Qali smirked. "But a bit of my best fast talking, some fluttering of the eyelids, and the distracting view that I was going out of my way to show off he caved pretty quickly." The fox snickered. "By the time I was cramming cards into his paws he wasn't putting up much of a fight."
"You naughty goil!" Ada laughed.
"B-but didn't you...?" Dawn cleared her throat awkwardly as her bashfulness strangled her words. "You said you tricked him...y-you hustled him?" Dawn asked.
Qali chuckled. "Well you see..." Qali could barely keep her giggling under control as her own blush deepened. "If I won, Trenny was gonna have to...well do it to me instead."
Dawn let out an 'oohhh' as she placed her hooves over her muzzle.
"Datta goil!" Ada clapped, letting out a barking laugh.
"So he lost the bet then?" Malcolm chuckled.
Qali gave a brisk nod. "And let me tell you, Trenny knows how to work that tongue!" The vixen smacked her lips. "He had me up against the closet door, screaming his name at the top of my lungs while I rode his muzzle!" Qali giggled. "My legs were so tightly wrapped around his head, I'm surprised he didn't pass out!" The fox rolled backwards on her mattress as a giggling fit ensued. Qali kicked her tiny legs as she continued to laugh, taking deep breaths as she tried to compose herself.
Finally seeming to catch her breath, the vixen sat back up. Qali let out a few more weak chuckles as she wiped a tear from her eye.
"It was amazing." Qali cooed. "Until the door opened and the two of us spilled out right in front of Mama Hunter."
Dawn felt herself reflexively cringe at the mere prospect of being in Qali's position. Despite breaking the house rule, at the very least the couple hadn't been found mid-mating by Audrey. She had barely been able to look the she-wolf in the eyes just from her easily deducing what the couple had been up too outside. If Audrey had found them while Vernon's snout was buried in the ewe, Dawn was certain she would never be able to make eye contact with her again.
Ada was the first to bust out laughing, her hyena like cackle loud and uproarious as she rolled on her own mattress. Qali was quick to join the large canid, followed by Malcolm shortly there-after.
"Phew..." Qali said, composing herself once more as the others laughter died away. "Talk about getting caught with you pants down."
Ada let out another sharp laugh. "Good one Snowball!"
Dawn leaned forward, her attention remaining fixed on Qali.
"So what did you do?" Dawn asked nervously.
Qali lolled her shoulders before letting out a tired sigh. " Honestly, I was pretty ashamed." Qali shook her head dismissively. "I was luckly ol' Auddey let me off lightly."
"She told you to go 'think about what ya'll done', right?" Malcom asked.
Qali gave a meek nod. "Yep, and I did. I felt super terrible afterwards, especially because it was mostly my fault."
"It takes two to tango..." Dawn mumbled softly as she chewed at her hooves.
"That's exactly what she said to me!" Qali chirped, pointing a claw Dawn's way as she rolled slightly in her seat, rocking back and forth. "She even called me Ms. Pelagere for a while, like I had lost status with her..."
"Trust..." Dawn added, causing the fox to nod her head in agreement.
"I had like, tarnished her trust in me." Qali sighed. "And it certainly didn't come off as respectful."
"Dat's puttin' it lightly." Ada added with a chuckle.
"It was another two days before we were back to first names." Qali lamented. "And boy did that suck."
"W-what about Trent?" Dawn asked.
Qali chuckled. "Not only did he have to finish cleaning the closet, but he spent the rest of the day organizin' the attic by his lonesome." The vixen shook her head. "No AC up there either, poor Trenny."
"Lamb sakes..." Dawn uttered. Qali more or less had been through the same, if not a worse situation than she had. The fox even had to endure two days more of the She-wolf's cold shoulder. Then again, despite what the diminutive fox expressed, Dawn had a hard time picturing the cheery, excitable fox being significantly down about the affair, at least not for very long. She just seemed far too happy a mammal to let such a thing weigh on her as much as Dawn had. Then again, the ewe had a lot of other guilty feelings weighing on her already before Audrey had come to scold her.
"Yeah, yeah." Ada scoffed. "I'm shure da mook was feelin' real lousy and down when he was wearin' you as a muzzle."
Qali let out a soft giggle which faded away into more of a sorrowful sigh. "I still felt bad though, for Trenny, and for how I made Auddey feel." The fox offered a weak grin. "Auddey's such a sweety, and I hated that I put her in such a position."
"I hear that." Malcolm sighed. "I know I felt the same way when me and Xavey got caught."
"Speakin' of..." Ada grinned. "I'd say you're up 'Buddabuns', unless Kit Kat wants ta go foist?" Ada grinned evilly, her glance shifting back to the massive tigress. Vanna grimaced sharply, turning her head away from Ada as she let out a scoff.
"Aw c'mon Vanna, we're all sisters here." Malcolm paused for a moment, glancing down at himself briefly before offering an awkward smile to the group. "Well, mostly."
Ada and Qali giggled at the pudgy wolf's words.
With a tired groan, Malcolm shifted his body toward the rest of the group, laying on his side. The red wolf leaned his head on paw, while allowing the other to drape over his gut. His paw idly scratching at the baby blue fabric as he let out a comfortable sigh.
"Xavey and I had been an item fer about a year at that point if I remember correctly." Malcolm tapped a claw to his chin as he rolled his eyes. The wolf seemingly trying to recall a more concrete memory. "Yessir', it was just shy of a year!" The wolf declared, returning his paw to it's resting place on his stomach. "By then we had visited a few times, so I knew Momma Hunter purty well by then. But this was the first time we were gonna be spendin' the whole week at the ranch. It was Courtship Day break, so we finally had that kind of time free from work to take a real vacation. And I was really lookin' forward to the holiday festivities."
"Courtship Day ain't supposed ta be for couples like youse!" Ada snarked. "It's supposed to be about gettin' new couples togeddah! Not celebratin' bein' a long term ting." The hyenas shook her head.
"Yeah, Ostara is the holiday for celebrating long term relationships." Qali added, raising an eyebrow curiously. "Right?"
Vanna and Dawn nodded in confirmation.
Malcolm chuckled. "I know that!" The wolf replied. "But I was more so lookin' forward to the town festival, more so the cook-off and bake-off aspects of it!" Malcolm ran a paw though his russet hair. "I was kinda eager to throw down with some of the local chefs, and see what they were made of." The wolf declared proudly. "And gettin to taste a bunch of specialty foods and deserts you can't get most other places was a purty enticin' prospect too." Malcolm ran his tongue across his maw, patting his belly affectionately.
Dawn raised an eyebrow curiously. "I thought you said you two were coming to the ranch for a 'vacation'." The ewe adjusted her glasses slightly. "Participating in a series of cook-offs sounds like a lot of work."
Malcolm laughed. "When yer line of work is also yer favorite hobby, the line between the two gets real blurry." The wolf sighed. " 'Sides, cookin fer contests is a lot less pressure than running a diner. More fun and free wheelin', and ya'll don't have a buncha customers breathin' down yer neck."
Dawn understood where the wolf is coming from, or at least could somewhat understand. While she had yet to publish her first book, writing had always been a fun hobby for her. It was something she freely pursued in her downtime for her own enjoyment from her adolescence onward, and even if she never shared any of those works with those around her, the time spent writing them had never seemed like a waste. Now that she was staring down the barrel of releasing a book for public consumption, she found herself wondering just how she would be able to properly delineate 'work writing' from 'play writing', or if there could be any clear distinction at all from that point on. One thing the ewe was certain of was that even if her writing career ultimately flopped, she would still find herself writing for fun regardless.
"Anyhow..." Malcolm sighed, scratching his belly again. "Once Xavey and I first came out to the Ranch, we had a few days of preppin' before the 'Courtship Festival' opened up officially. So Momma Hunter and I went out and entered in to all the contests we were plannin' on participatin' in, and then we basically spent the whole day in the Kitchen cookin' up a storm." Malcolm chuckled. "We were practicin', honin' our skills and tradin' recipes and tips while Xavey just stood there and watched."
"Why?" Dawn asked. "Xavier didn't want to help?"
Malcolm let out a hard laugh. "Didn't want to? Darlin' he wasn't allowed to!" The russet wolf let out another jovial laugh. "I love my 'Fluffybuns' to death, but that boy can't cook worth a damn." Malcolm shook his head. "If I even let him hold a wisk it'd probly' catch fire, that's how bad he is. When it comes to baking, well that boy is practically the Anti-Crust."
Ada let out a cackle of her own. "Nice pun on dat one 'Buddabuns!'"
Malcolm bowed his head as if bowing for applause in response to Ada before letting out a contented sigh.
"But he didn't want to be alone all day, at least until Pa got back from the precinct. So he stayed and cheered us on." Malcolm smiled warmly.
"So what happened?" Ada smirked. "C'mon, get to da good stuff!" The hyeness said with a sharp snort as she slapped her knee.
"I'm gettin' to it, hold yer horses there city girl!" Malcolm chuckled, pushing his hair away from his eyes.
"Yeah, c'mon!" Qali added. "I haven't heard this one yet!"
Vanna was quick to shush the pair, her eyes were stern and serious as she glared at the hyena and fox until they went silent. Despite Vanna's previous stance on spilling their collective guts when it came to their most intimate moments, the glint behind the tigress' eyes shone with interest as she returned her attention to Malcolm.
Malcolm sighed. "Alright, so we had been baking fer hours at this point. Pies, cakes, pred cuisine, all sorts of goodies."
"The Kitchen must have smelled amazing..." Qali said dreamily as she leaned her head in her paws. The diminutive fox kicked her legs idly as her attention remained on the chubby wolf.
"Yeah, to be a fly on the wall on dat day..." Ada smirked. "For da smells and da show!" Ada chuckled.
Malcolm shook his head, a grin crawling across his muzzle. "Anyway, I remember I wanted to show Momma Hunter how to cook up some 'de-licious' raspberry tortes. They're kind of a staple food fer Courtship Day. But by then, we had pretty much used up all the supplies we'd need to keep cookin'."
Malcolm extended his paw, holding it up as he eyed the group. "So naturally, someone had to pick up more flour, sugar and so on to keep us bakin'" The wolf waved his paw. "And since Ma Hunter doesn't like to let anyone else drive her truck aside from Papa Hunter, she was the one who decided to go get the ingredients we needed."
Malcolm raised an eyebrow, a sly smirk crossing his muzzle. "That left me and Xavey alone to monitor the food that was still cookin'."
"So is that when you two-?"
Malcolm held up a paw, effectively silencing Qali's burgeoning curiosity.
"Now don't get ahead of me Darlin'." Malcolm chuckled. "I'm gettin' there. I promise."
Malcolm let out another groan as he sat up, placing his paws on his knees as he crossed his legs into a seated pose.
"Now, I wanna start off by sayin' the last thing I had on my mind was breakin' the house rule. I wasn't even thinking about sex. I was more concerned about the pies in the oven than anythin' else."
"Sure you was." Ada rolled her eyes.
"I wasn't!" Malcolm affirmed. "Although I can't say fer certain if Xavey didn't either, it certainly didn't seem like he was thinkin' it at the time anyway." Malcolm sighed, drawing his paw through his hair again. "We spent most of the time just talkin' while I kept busy workin' on the food we still had supplies fer."
A mischievous smile crawled across Malcolm's muzzle. "Then, I accidently dropped a spoon I was using." The wolf brought a paw to his chin. "It was covered in batter, and on it's way to the floor it smudged on Xavey's pants before landin' right between his paws."
Qali was already rolling in her seat eagerly as she eyed Malcolm with an intense focus. The arctic fox seemingly giddy with anticipation as she rocked in place.
"I take it prissy pants was none to pleased about the stain?" Ada quirked an eyebrow.
"Oh Xavey was none too pleased. He hates gettin' food on his clothes, even the less than fancy stuff." Malcolm chuckled. "So while he's flippin' his lid, I'm reachin' fer the spoon and cursin' the fact I wasted a good bit a batter that was glopped onto the thing." Malcolm shook his head dismissively. "I finally get a grip on it, and as I'm going to stand up, my muzzle bumps right under Xavey's crotch."
Dawn blushed slightly as she brought her hooves to her muzzle. Despite the fact that she had known where the story had been heading from the get go still did little to prepare her for when the pudgy wolf got to the 'meat' of his story.
"Oh my..." She said quietly. The ewe could pretty much assume where things were going from here.
Malcolm chuckled. "I got the batter from his pants on my snout, but more importantly I got a deep whiff of my 'Fluffybuns' delicious scent." Malcolm's eyelids drooped slightly as he stared off dreamily. "That virile, dusky earthen' scent that sent shivers down my spine."
Dawn gulped slightly as the wolf's description tickled at her memories of her mates own scent. In that moment she couldn't help but picture herself in the same situation, just inches away from Vernon's own wolfhood and drinking deeply of his musk. Dawn shuddered briefly, thanking the gods that although the thought was a stimulating one, at the very least her estrus was dulled enough for the sudden fantasy not to stir up too much agony in her loins.
"At that point Xavey had stopped fussin'." Malcolm continued. "We had both sorta locked eyes, and I could see we were more or less thinkin' the same thing." Malcolm grinned slyly. "Of course I couldn't resist a bit of teasin' first."
"What did you do?" Dawn asked, leaning forward slightly as she bit at her hoof.
Malcom chuckled. "Well, I batted my eyes at my lil' Xavey, and I said 'Aw, I'm sorry about the mess Darlin', how bout I clean ya'll up?'"
"And what did he do?" Qali was quick to ask, the fox now leaning well over the edge of her mattress as she watched the pudgy wolf.
Malcolm rolled his eyes. "My little wordsmith, master of the Animanglish Language, didn't say nothin'." Malcolm shook his head. "He stuttered and stammered a bit before finally givin' me a slow, shaky little pleadin' nod."
Malcolm licked his maw as his grin widened mischievously. "So I lapped that little bit of batter up....and then..." The wolf shook his head. "And then I opened up his pants, and started lappin' at my favorite dessert."
"Right in Audrey's Kitchen?" Dawn asked in shock.
Malcolm simply nodded, the smirk never leaving his muzzle.
"Right in front of the counter. I was down on my knees teasin' that poor boy seven ways to Sunday." Malcolm chuckled. "Xavey was making the cutest noises, he always does when I got him at my mercy like that." The chubby wolf said dreamily. "Like lil' half begs. Dyin' fer me to end his sufferin', but at the same time lovin' the teasin'."
Dawn's blush deepened as the wolf's tawdry tale went on. Even her romp in the corn field hadn't been as risky as what Malcolm and Xavier had done. Short of mating in Audrey's bedroom, the ewe couldn't imagine a more dangerous place to try to sneak in a rut than her Kitchen. At least, up until Vernon had howled the pair had the privacy of the night to more or less shield their deeds. It was unlikely that Audrey would have come looking for them unless they had been out for hours. But her Kitchen was surely asking to be caught.
"Unfortunately..." Malcolm's smile waivered as his ears began to sag. "From where I was...er...handlin' things, I couldn't exactly see the entrance of the Kitchen." Malcolm's voice grew quieter as a blush began to form on his muzzle. "O'course Xavey was in the perfect position' to meet Momma Hunter's eyes when she came back from the store."
Ada hissed as she sucked in a sharp breath. "Ohh..." The hyeness shook her head. "So you didn't know huh?"
Malcolm chuckled weakly. "I felt Xavey suddenly tense up, but I couldn't figure out why..." The pudgy wolf's blush deepened. "And I couldn't exactly ask him with my mouth fulla'...well...y'know..." The wolf trailed of, tapping his fingers together idly.
Malcolm placed his head in his paw. "He had to pull me off and turn my head around before I knew what was happinin'."
"Look's like youse two got caught wit Xavey's pants down!" Ada said, letting out a hyena-like cackle.
Malcolm kept his head down, clearly deeply ashamed of Audrey catching the couple like that. "I was purty much on a full name basis fer the rest of the holiday." Malcolm sighed. "And as fer Xavey, well he was on dish duty fer the rest of the trip. Which considerin' how much we were bakin', well...it was a tall order."
As Malcolm's story sunk in, Dawn was having a hard time deciding which story had been the worse of the two. Each one prominently featured being caught mid-act by Audrey, a fate the ewe mentally held up in her mind as worse than death. More or less the couples had been caught committing the same crime against the house rule, but was catching your son with his girlfriend riding his face better or worse than catching your son on the receiving end of oral? Either way, if there was one thing Dawn could glean from the stories for certain, it was the fact that even if Vernon had successfully limited their escapade in the field to taking care of Dawn's problem, the trouble they faced would have been more or less the same. Despite that Xavier could, from a legal standpoint argue that the house rule only technically mentions rutting, clearly it wouldn't fly in Mother Hunter's courtroom. And that fact was readily apparent in Malcolm's story.
"I just felt so ashamed when Momma Hunter' eyes fell on me. She looked so hurt..." Malcolm sighed. "And when she called me 'Mr. Hackett', it cut me deep."
"I know how that feels..." Dawn murmured, reflecting on how painful it had felt when Audrey had simply referred to her as Ms. Bellwether. Even thinking about it now, despite the fact that she had more or less made amends with the she-wolf, it made her feel just as hollow and sick as when she had first heard it.
"I'll betcha do." Ada said with a smirk. "O'course I don't, cause I'm da only one wit da curtsy and dezenzy to control myself."
Once again Ada reaffirmed that she remained the only Hunter girl not to break the house rule. But it was an idea that Dawn couldn't wrap her head around. While she had no real reason to doubt the hyeness statements, her attitude and the way she carried herself made Ada seem the least likely to care about things like Audrey's house rule, or even what Audrey might think of her. She didn't want to pass judgment, but at the same time she couldn't help feeling like there was no way she was telling the truth.
"I find that kind of hard to believe." Dawn said without thinking, only to quickly bring her hooves to her muzzle. She hadn't meant to let it slip out, but now that she had said it, it hung in the open air awaiting an answer.
Ada cackled. "Well it's tru dere fuzzy butt!" The hyeness flipped her black and white hair out of her eyes. "Whaddya tink I'm some kinda impulsive animal who can't control herself?" Ada raised herself off the mattress slightly as she threw Dawn a sharp glare. "Dat because I look like sum sorta trouble maker I can't follow da rules?"
Ada's tone was sharp and stern, and Dawn was quick to jump to her feet at the sudden accusation. The ewe held her hooves out defensively.
"No! No!" Dawn stammered, terrified that she so easily offended her new sister, especially after what she had done for her earlier in the day. Dawn clasped her hooves together pleadingly as she tried to think of a way to explain herself.
"I mean, I...I didn't-"
Ada let out a hyena-like cackle as she rolled backwards on her bed, kicking her feet slightly as she held her stomach. Dawn simply stood staring in shock and confusion, unsure of what to make of Ada's sudden change in tone as the hyeness managed to right herself. Ada wiped a stray tear from her eye as she tried to stifle her laughter.
"Oh Mam'!" Ada giggled. "I had you goin huh!? Da look on your face was priceless!" The hyeness wiped another stray tear from her eye as she tried to compose herself.
"Ada, that isn't funny." Vanna said tersely, throwing a glare of her own at the hyena.
Ada scoffed. "Ah, you have no sensa humor Kit Kat!" The canid replied, waiving the massive cat off dismissively with a paw. "'Sides I have to razz da newest Hunta goil, it's part of da hazin'!"
Dawn eased back down into her seat, still somewhat confused as she found herself looking back and for the between the tigress and the hyena. Ada was still laughing, but Vanna's cold stare remained rigid and unrelenting, and slowly the smile dissipated from Ada's muzzle. With a harsh and irritated sigh, Ada turned her attention back to the ewe.
"Ugh. Fine." Ada grumbled. " I was just funnin' whicha Fluff Butt, I know I don't really seem da type give a pile of dung about wedder or not I care what mammals tink of me, but I do." Ada rolled her eyes slightly, but her tone remained firms and earnest. "'Specially da Huntas." Ada smiled, but there was a strange sadness behind her eyes. Almost as if admitting that had hurt her to some degree. The ewe felt the desire to press her new sister on what had caused that somber change in her tone, but decided better of it as the hyeness was quick to continue.
"So when I tells ya I swear on my own eyes I never broke da rule, I mean it." Ada grinned confidently.
"It's true." Vanna said with a tired sigh as she turned her attention back to the ewe. "As unlikely as it would seem, Ada is the only one of us here who hasn't..."Vanna closed her eyes briefly, gritting her teeth for a moment before continuing. "Made a bad decision."
"Speakin' of dat..." Ada's grin grew to almost Cheshire like proportions. "I'd say it's your turn Kit Kat."
Vanna quickly turned back to the hyeness, crossing her arms in defiance.
"I'd rather not." Vanna stated simply. "In fact I never agreed to."
"Aw c'mon sis!" Qali chirped. "I'm dying to know!"
Vanna shook her head briskly, opting to remain silent.
Malcolm raised an eyebrow. "C'mon now Sis, it's only fair ain't it?"
Vanna grimaced. "Fair?" The tigress spat. "Nobody forced the two of you to tell those stories. So why should I have to embarrass myself just because the two of you decided to do the same?"
Dawn could see the tigress was growing increasingly irritated. By now Vanna had risen to her feet, walking away from Dawn's bed as she glared at the other members of the group. Her ears flattened tightly against her head as she sneered.
"What a kitten!" Ada snickered.
"I am not!" Vanna spat back, reaching a paw for the pillow on what was presumably her mattress. The large feline lifted it off the bed, clutching it with her paws as she eyed the hyena across from her.
"And whaddya gonna do now?" Ada chuckled. "Gonna belt me wit a pillow?"
Vanna hissed as she glared at the hyeness. "If you don't shut your yap I might ju-"
"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Dawn was quick to interject, hoping that she would diffuse the situation. As much as she was intrigued to hear what had happened between Vanna and Zach, the ewe was more keen on avoiding a bedroom brawl breaking out between the two females.
"I-I can understand if I-it's too embarrassing." The ewe frowned, looking at her feet as she stood up on her mattress. "I won't hold it against you." Dawn sighed. "I certainly know the feeling."
The tension seemed to ease as the two sisters turned their attention Dawn's way, Vanna going so far as to let the pillow hang loosely from one paw as she frowned back toward the ewe. But what was even more surprising was that Ada was sporting a frown of her own. The hyeness placed a paw behind her head, scratching awkwardly as she grit her teeth.
"Ah geeze..." Ada whined. "If youse are both gonna be dat way about it, den I don't wanna hold your paws to da fire." Ada crossed her arms. "I was only playin'."
"It's alright." Dawn replied, adjusting her glasses. "Besides, I've decide I..." The ewe trailed off as she struggled to find her words. "Well, I've decided I'm willing to talk about what happened with Vernon and me outside, despite how embarrassed I am in retrospect."
Dawn had surprised herself with her sudden decision. Perhaps it was the fact that Malcolm and Qali had been so willing to open up about their own misdeeds, or Vanna's need to rise to Dawn's defense regardless of what stake she had in it. Or perhaps it was even the fact that when it came down to it, Ada had been more than willing to let her off the hook when it came to telling her tale. But regardless, Dawn felt much more comfortable knowing she was more or less among friends who had been through the same thing, and could even find humor in it. It made the ewe feel confident enough to press forward with her own embarrassing and shameful ordeal.
But Dawn found she wasn't the only one surprised by her statement. Ada was looking back at her in bemused shock, while Qali seemed to be brimming with overwhelming joy. Malcolm too, wore a bemused and playful grin. But the most startled was Vanna, the large and unusually unexpressive tigress' jaw now hanging open in shock as she stared back at Dawn in an almost terrified surprise.
"YES!" Qali chirped, bouncing on her mattress a few times as she held on to the headboard.
"Well look at dat." Ada smirked, crossing her arms again. " Lil' lamb is steppin' up to da plate!"
Ada laid back down onto her mattress, resting her head on a paw as she grinned back expectantly at Dawn.
"Youse got more spunk den I had ya pegged for wools." Ada snickered. With that, the hyeness flicked her free paw in the ewe's direction. "Youse can start when your ready, take ya time sis."
Dawn sat back down on the bed, taking a long sigh as she tried to steel herself for opening up about the debacle in the field. It certainly was not her proudest moment, but she knew confronting it like this was a good way to cope with it. She had learned as much in therapy when it came to recounting and reliving her criminal past. The only way to work through it was to acknowledge and reflect on it, and sometimes sharing it with those you love and trust was the best way to move past it. The ewe took another deep breath as she tried to figure out just where to start her story. Finally settling on what seemed like the most appropriate point, Dawn took a final deep breath.
"Well, as you all are prob-"
"Wait!"
Dawn blinked rapidly in surprise. That had come from Vanna, the large tigress now holding a paw out toward the ewe to signal her to stop.
Vanna sighed harshly, running her free paw down her face as she cursed quietly to herself.
"If you are going to tell your story..." Vanna muttered. "T-then I guess I should at least share mine." Vanna grimaced sharply.
Dawn stared at the tigress in silent confusion for a few moments before managing to find her words again. "V-Vanna, you don't have-"
"No, I do." Vanna sighed. "It would be wrong for everyone else to open up about this stuff, and I'm the only one who stays out of it." Vanna shook her head. "I-I just, I don't like to think about what I did. I'm very...I'm ashamed."
"Hey Sis, relax." Ada said coolly. The hyeness' tone was surprisingly sincere as she eyed the large feline in concern. "If its got ya dat twisted den-"
"No." Vanna sighed, shaking her head dismissively. "I can do it. I can."
With that, the tigress plopped down harshly on to her mattress, causing it to groan under the sudden harsh strain. Vanna placed a paw over her face, looking down at the floor as she began her story.
"Zach and I had been working together for a year before we officially became a couple." Vanna said calmly, her eyes remaining locked to the floor. "But working in the Police Department, and being his partner, well...I saw a lot of the ranch on my off hours."
Vanna slowly eased her way back onto the bed, until she laid flat against it. The big cat was now staring at the ceiling as she rested her head on the pink plaid printed pillow at the head of her bed.
"I was more or less a part of the family by Ma and Pa Hunter's standards. So when Zach and I announced we had become mates, well..." Vanna smirked. "They were overjoyed."
"Aww..." Qali cooed, her grin widening as she rested her head on her paws. The diminutive fox was now hanging off the edge of her bed in the direction of the tigress', watching her intently despite being partially upside-down.
"But that's really only important to note so you have some idea of how long we had been together before..." Vanna shook her head slowly as she let out a terse sigh. "Before the whole incident happened."
Dawn had now creeped up to the foot of her bed, lying prone much like Ada was. The ewe rested a hoof against her cheek as she listened intently. The tone of Vanna's voice clearly told Dawn just how hard the story was for her to share, the wavering and sighing indicative of her mortifying embarrassment. But this only did more to capture Dawn's interest. If the normally stoic and reserved Vanna was so overwhelming ashamed of when she had broken the house rule, especially after Malcolm and Qali had told their own rather lurid and shocking stories, then how much worse could her own tale stand to be? How could anything be worse that getting caught in the act by Mother Hunter?
"This was about a year after we had officially become mates." Vanna continued. "So about two years of knowing Ma and Pa pretty well by the time this happened."
Vanna squeezed the bridge of her muzzle with her fingers. "Long enough for them both to grow to trust me." Vanna allowed her arms to flop lifelessly to her sides. "And I went and soiled that trust."
Vanna's tone was heavy and somber, leaving her statement to bask in deathly silence as soon as it had left her muzzle. The quiet lingered for what seemed like minutes before the tigress suddenly shot up from her bed.
"It was my fault!" Vanna lamented. " It was all on me! I took Auddey's trust and faith in me, and I threw it away in favor of my gnawing, primal urges!" Vanna groaned.
"Hey, dial it back a notch sis'." Ada said with concern. "Look at everyone else here, dey all fell into da same ting. It's like Auddey says, 'takes two to tango.'"
"Yeah, don't be so hard on yerself there Vanna." Malcolm added.
Vanna simply fell back into the mattress again, placing a paw over her face.
"No, it really was my fault." Vanna sighed quietly. "There was no excuse for my behavior. I could have avoided it all so simply, but I chose to do something stupid."
Dawn had heard enough. Based on her experiences with Dr. Gnu, she could easily recognize the obvious signs of a mammal in need of someone to reassure her. This particular incident seemed to weigh heavy on the normally stoic cat's chest, and the ewe knew through experience that having someone close by to help coax her through retelling the story and easing her fears as she worked through each leg of it. Vanna needed someone to lean on now more than ever.
The ewe slid off her bed carefully before scurrying her way over to Vanna's bedside. With only some slight difficulty, Dawn managed to clamber her way up onto the side of the larger mattress frame. As Dawn settled her self in by the large felines side, only then did Vanna seem to notice her presence, raising an eyebrow curiously at the ewe now seated by her side. Dawn did her best to mimic the pose she often saw her therapist sit in, to convey an air of professionalism and concern through sheer body language before speaking.
"It's alright Vanna." Dawn said softly. "I'm sure it wasn't your fault, and even if it was..." Dawn glanced briefly around at the other girls and Malcolm before gesturing a hoof toward them "We're all sisters here. No one is judging you."
That seemed to have been enough to ease the troubled feline somewhat as she slowly laid her head against the pillow once more. With a deep and shuddering sigh, the tigress continued.
"It was around the time of the Harvest Festival." Vanna placed a paw over her face. "Ma Hunter had asked for Zach and my help to clear space in the barn for the corn cobs we'd be picking later that day."
Dawn nodded reassuringly, gesturing for the feline to continue her difficult tale.
"I-It..." Vanna stuttered slightly, taking a moment to clear her throat before continuing. "It had been unseasonably warm that year. A Saharan Summer, at least that was what most mammals call it."
Vanna slowly drew her paw down her face, placing it at her side as she let out another long and tired sigh.
"And well...that sort of....well..." Dawn could hear the tigress audibly gulp. "Kind of trigged an early heat for me..."
Dawn placed a hoof to her muzzle to hide her shock. Of all the motives she had assumed could be the root cause of Vanna and Zach's indiscretion, the last thing she had considered was that the tigress may have been at the mercy of the same forces of nature that she had been enduring just hours before. Vanna seemed far too strong, too composed to imagine her faltering under even the worst a remnant estrus had to offer. And yet here she was, more or less confirming that she has succumbed to the same vice as Dawn.
"Ma Hunter was out, she was picking up supplies." Vanna sighed. "And Pa was at the station." Vanna mumbled, wiping her paw across her eyes. "We were all alone."
Ada was now leaning in almost as far as Qali was, the large hyeness now practically hanging off her mattress.
"Yeah?" Ada's eyes were wide. "And den what?"
"I had been dealing with my estrus all day...and between the late summer heat, and the ache, and the gnawing desire...I just...." Vanna brought a paw up to her mouth, biting down softly on a finger as she struggled to get the words out. Dawn reached a hoof out, placing it on Vanna's shoulder comfortingly. The ewe offered a meek smile.
"You couldn't help yourself?" Dawn asked.
Vanna nodded. "I had an idea...a fool proof plan..."
Dawn had to stifle a giggle from slipping out. In that moment, Vanna had reminded her of Vernon, and his own 'fool proof plan' that had gone so awry. It appeared that the large and seemingly unflappable tigress' had more in common with her brother in-law than she knew.
"What was the plan?" Qali asked, eagerness lacing her tone.
Vanna let out a sorrowful grown, laying the back of her paw across her face.
"I-I was gonna take him in the barn..." Vanna grumbled. "Hold him down and have my way with him right there on the floor."
"Mhh..." Malcolm cooed. "Vanna, you wildcat you."
The tigress let out another groan, and Dawn could see a blush forming on her muzzle. The ewe continued to gingerly pat her shoulder.
"There, there Vanna." Dawn smiled softly. "It's okay."
"I even went so far to plan how to stifle that dumb mutt's howl, even though Ma and Pa were too far away to hear it." Vanna continued.
"How!? How!?" Qali chirped. By now the fox had completely left her mattress, and was now clambering her way on the other side of Vanna's bed. The petite fox now leaned over Vanna, her smile ear to ear as she excitedly awaited an answer.
Vanna let out another groan, covering her face with both paws.
"I...stuffed...mrmr...mrr..." Vanna's words trailed of inaudibly.
"I'm sorry, didn't catch dat." Ada grinned, placing her paw to her ear in the direction of the shrinking tigress.
Vanna replied again, even more quietly, but now there was an edge on her mumbling. As if she was trying to force the words out through pain.
"I'm sorry what?" Ada repeated.
"MY PANTIES!" The tigress snarled, causing the girls to jump in their respective pelts. "I STUFFED MY PANTIES IN HIS MOUTH TO SHUT HIM UP!"
With the tigress' loud and sudden admission, came shock, then horror as Vanna realized just how loud she had revealed her method of muzzling Zach. The tigress quickly covered her face with her paws again, her blush practically glowing despite her attempts at covering it up.
The room remained quiet for what seemed like an eternity, the awkward void created by Vanna's outburst leaving everyone in the room struck dumb. Even Ada, despite her wide smirk, seemed to be biting her tongue if she had any witty remarks bubbling below the surface.
Dawn had covered her face with her hooves. Though the ewe was blushing fiercely, she was more concerned about covering up the slight, shaky smile that was now creeping across her muzzle. Despite how woeful and agonizing the tigress' admission had sounded, the mental image of Zach being choked into silence by the big cat's unmentionables was patently hilarious. Dawn cleared her throat sharply in an effort to shake away the urge to giggle. It took a few hard coughs, but eventually the ewe was able to regain her composure.
"And I take it...?" The ewe trailed off, unable to bring herself to finish her question.
"He didn't even see it coming." Vanna mumbled. "He put down one of the corn buckets, turned around, and I just...I lunged at him."
"Did he fight?" Malcolm asked with a laugh.
Vanna let out a sigh. "Not for very long..." Vanna placed her paw over her face. "Especially when he figured out what was going on."
Qali broke into a giggle fit, giving the somber tigress a playful nudge as she rocked back and forth on the balls of her knees. The diminutive fox was clearly eating up the scandalous nature of Vanna's tawdry tryst. Vanna only mustered another lamenting groan at the arctic fox's gesture.
"Okay, okay..." Qali wheezed, trying to catch her breath as her giggling subsided. "I only have one question for you Kit Kat." The fox said with a wide smile.
Vanna grumbled a soft, inaudible series of words before finally ending in a long, and agonizingly drawn out "Whaaaaat? "
"Did it work?" Qali quirked an eyebrow curiously. "The panty thing?"
Vanna removed her paw, turning to face the eager fox. The tigress stared back at Qali in quiet disbelief, her mouth opening briefly only to close without uttering so much as a single word. Her response however, seemed to had failed to register with Qali, as the vixen was still staring back at Vanna expectantly.
"Well?" Qali added.
Vanna closed her eyes sharply, letting out an irritated huff as she turned back toward Dawn. The tigress' blush had only managed to grow a deeper crimson in response to the curious fox's question. Dawn watched as her grimace deepened, Vanna seemingly straining herself to force an answer out.
"Yes." Vanna said softly.
"Awesome!" Qali responded, rubbing her paws together excitedly. " I wonder if I can make that work with Trenny?" The vixen wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
"Please, your panties are so tiny he'd probably breade 'em in by accident." Ada said with a chuckle.
The fox seemed to deflate slightly, her ears sagging as a frown crawled across her muzzle. "Aw mam', you're probably right." Qali sighed, flopping down against the bed sheet with a dull 'thwump'. She remained face down, her muzzle buried into the mattress for a moment before slowly raising it back up and leaning it on her paws.
"Maybe I can use my shirt..." The fox quietly mused to herself as her tail lazily flipped from one side to the other.
"Just buy a gag, it's da easiest solution." Ada added with a smirk.
"I'm not walking into one of 'those' stores." Qali whined, raising her eyebrows slightly as she emphasized the word. "Especially back in Fox's Glen! Everyone would know about it!"
"Y'know there is such a thing as shoppin' online Darlin'" Malcolm added with a chuckle.
"I know bu-"
"So I take it Mother Hunter caught you around then?" Dawn cut the vixen off. The ewe knew this story was hard enough for Vanna to get through without it being drawn out by idle chat amongst the Hunter girls. She had made it this far, and Dawn was keen on hearing exactly what ultimately exposed Vanna's misdeed to Audrey. " She walked into the barn and found you like Malcolm and Qali?"
Vanna winced slightly at Dawn's words. The ewe tried to meet her gaze, but the tigress' eyes kept shifting away.
"Nooo...." Vanna mumbled softly.
Dawn quirked an eyebrow in confusion. If Audrey hadn't caught them in the act, and if the crude gag Vanna had come up with had kept Zach's howl from carrying across the farmlands, then how had the She-wolf caught them?
"Was it the smell?" Dawn asked, trying to put together the means which had proven to be the couples undoing. "You didn't shower afterwards and Audrey could smell the pheromones?"
The tigress continued to avert Dawn's gaze as the ewe tried to figure out the mystery. Vanna let out a quiet groan as she shifted away from Dawn. Now laying on her back, the tigress stared up at the ceiling.
"Nooo...." Vanna repeated, even more quietly than before.
Dawn scratched her chin, puzzled. She was out of guesses, and summarily perplexed. If she couldn't guess it, then it might take hours to finally extract the information from the tigress. And unlike Dr.Gnu, Dawn couldn't exactly schedule to pick up the session the following week.
"Oh dis is gonna be juicy." Ada cut the silence with her snarking tone. The hyeness was now leaning on a paw, grinning in the direction of the group now amassed on Vanna's bed. Ada wiggled her eyebrow playfully. "C'mon kitty, it'll make ya feel betta. Just let it out already!"
Vanna let out another groan, placing her paws over her face and letting out a mournful snarl before allowing them to fall to her sides. The large feline took a long, deep breath before letting out a long sigh.
"I...." Vanna said quietly. "I told her."
Dawn blinked in surprise, tilting her head slightly as she tried to parse what the tigress had told her.
"W-what?' Dawn uttered.
"I told Audrey." Vanna whined.
"You told her?" Qali asked.
Vanna suddenly sat up, her sudden movement nearly knocking Dawn and Qali off the bed in the process. The large feline let out a sharp hiss as she placed her paws on top of her head. "YES, I TOLD HER!" Vanna snarled. "I TOLD HER AS SOON AS SHE GOT HOME! I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF!"
The tigress turned to Dawn, nearly scaring the ewe out of her wool at the sudden rapid movement. Vanna looked at her with mournful and pleading eyes, her lip quivering slightly as if she were about to start sobbing.
"I went in with my best poker face, doing my best to look as innocent as possible while I helped her unpack groceries." Vanna mumbled. "I was so sure Mother Hunter would see right through me, right through my attempts at deception. But instead, she seemed completely oblivious."
"So whats da problem?" Ada asked. "It was woikin' wasn't it?"
Vanna let out a sorrowful sigh. "She was her usual happy self, and that's what made it worse." Vanna visibly cringed as she continued her tale. "Every smile, every time she called me 'Darlin', it felt like my insides were being torn to shreds with guilt."
"It just got worse and worse until I couldn't take it anymore, I just completely fell apart." Vanna whimpered. "I couldn't bear to look Auddey in the eyes knowing that I was lying to her!" The tigress put her head in her paw. "And when she noticed and asked me what was wrong I just...I just..."
"You couldn't lie." Dawn asked.
"I broke down, falling to my knees and telling her everything!" Vanna slapped a paw over her face, only to slowly drag it down her face as she let out an agonizing groan. "I wrapped my arms around her waist and begged forgiveness!" Vanna began to raise her voice, the tigress becoming increasingly upset. "I was so ashamed of myself!"
Dawn was flabbergasted, only able to watch the tigress in deafened shock as she continued.
"She said 'it takes two to tango' but I know the truth! It was my fault!" Vanna lamented.
"Aw, lighten up pussy cat. Zach coulda-"
"The trailer was only three miles away! We could have easily went home!" Vanna groaned. "But no! I had to have him right there!" The tigress dragged her paw down her face, turning her head to the ceiling as she let out a shuddering sigh.
"I'm a trained officer, and I let my baser urges get the better of me. I caved to my own lurid desires and broken the trust Ma Hunter had put in me." Vanna shook her head. "I never felt so weak and foolish." Vanna's looked down at her paws, her head slumping in defeat.
"Tch, dial it back Kit Kat, don't be so ova dramatic." Ada shook her head. "It's just a rut."
The tigress let out a weary sigh, placing a paw over her eyes once more.
"At the very least Audrey was willing to forgive me for being honest." Vanna sighed. "She still called me Vanna despite how I had clearly broken her trust."
"Aw, no fair!" Qali whined, a pout forming on her muzzle. "What do we have to do to get that kind of treatment?"
"Zach was less fortunate..." Vanna continued, ignoring Qali's objection. "He was forced to finish the barn work on his own."
Vanna let out a weak and shuddering sigh. "But despite what Audrey said, I still felt so badly." Vanna muttered. "That regardless of what she said to try to ease my fears, I still feel like I had damaged the trust between us."
Dawn was shocked to say the least. Through the retelling of her story, Vanna had been the most emotive the ewe had ever seen her. It was amazing how much guilt the felines affair had left weighing on her heart. But considering how kind and accepting Audrey was, it wasn't hard to see why the tigress felt so bad. Dawn had only really known the she-wolf for two whole days, and she had felt sick with guilt over breaking the house rule. But Vanna had gone at least two years of unspoken trust before breaking down and defying Mother Hunter's wishes. Two years of growing close and getting to know each other, getting used to seeing Audrey as her Mother. Despite how preposterous it may have sounded to the other girls, Dawn could see herself just as easily following Vanna's footsteps had she been in her sole-pads.
"I let the heat get the better of me." Vanna sighed. "I should have been stronger."
Dawn placed a hoof on the large felines knee, causing Vanna to look up at the ewe. Dawn offered a warm smile in response.
"You aren't alone Vanna." The lamb sighed. "I let the heat get the better of me too."
"I knew I smelled sumtin' funny on da ride out to da fair!" Ada chimed in, flashing Dawn a smug grin.
Dawn rolled her eyes. "Well I think your mate made it more than obvious at breakfast this morning, didn't he?"
Ada grimaced slightly, running a paw through her mane of hair. "Y-yeah, sorry about dat Fluff." Ada muttered. "He really shouldn'ta putcha on blast like dat."
Dawn shook her head dismissively. "It's fine, it's all over with anyhow." With that, the ewe turned her attention back to the sullen tigress.
"I should have been stronger too. I should have resisted the urge to rut." Dawn said sadly. "But it was so agonizing, and then...well...Vernon just wanted to help."
"Wait! Wait!" Qali piped up. "Start from the beginning! How'd you get from the picnic to the rutting!?" The fox had now crawled over Vanna's leg, leaning her chest on it as she eyed Dawn expectantly.
Dawn rolled her eyes at the chipper fox, the ewe let out a bemused sigh as she placed her hooves in her lap.
"Well..." Dawn muttered, shaking off the last of her nervous jitters as best as she could before continuing. "First off, I had been dealing with my remnant-estrus all day."
Dawn began to wring her hooves as she recounted the lurid anguish she had spent the day enduring. "Between the hot flashes, the chills...." Dawn bit her lip. "And the burning, unrelenting, gnawing..." Dawn shook her head sharply to keep focused. "sufficed to say on top of everything else that had been going on today I felt absolutely miserable."
"I can imagine." Ada muttered. "One time I had a twelve hower shift at da hospital durin' my heat last year." The hyeness ran a paw through her hair. "I swear I felt so bad I wanted to crawl into one a dem morgue shelves with da rest of da dead guys." Ada said with a chuckle.
"So naturally, on the picnic I was still more or less suffering." Dawn sighed. " I was sweating bullets under my wool, squirming in my seat as I tried to keep from focusing too much on Vernon's....well...body..."
Dawn shook her head softly. "But Vernon already knew what I was going through, and he was worried about me." Dawn rolled her eyes. "And so, he suggested trying something out..."
"Heh Heh." Ada chuckled. "Just like Kit Kat huh?"
Vanna let out another lamenting grumble.
"Well if that was the case we wouldn't have heard Vernon's howl now would we?" Malcolm added.
"The whole point of Vernon's plan was that he'd never...I mean..." Dawn held her hooves out. "He was going to help me out. Just me."
"Ahh..." Malcolm, Ada and Qali said in unison.
"Of course I know now that even if that plan had worked out, it still would have qualified as breaking the house rule if your stories are anything to go by." Dawn gestured to Malcolm and Qali, both of whom nodded in response.
"But Vernon was so worried, he just wanted me to be able to enjoy the rest of the trip." Dawn sighed. "And I wasn't in a strong position to say no to the idea. My estrus was eating away at my brain." Dawn raised a hoof simply to let it flop at her side. " I couldn't think straight, I just wanted an out!"
With that, Dawn looked back up at Vanna, flashing her a sympathetic glance.
"And when it came down to it, I pushed Vernon to....well...finish the job." Dawn said sadly. "Just like you did with Zach."
"I take it he got ya too close, but couldn't work ya over without gettin' in dere huh?" Ada grinned knowingly.
Dawn blushed, covering her muzzle with her hooves. But despite the embarrassment, she found herself smirking slightly. Slowly the ewe managed to nod her head affirming.
"I...I was supposed to hold his muzzle shut..." Dawn mumbled. "But as you can probably tell..."
"That didn't work out so well." Qali said with a giggle.
Dawn sighed. "I just felt so awful afterwards." Dawn shook her head. "I mean everyone heard us. Audrey had heard us. And it was my fault Vernon had howled." Dawn placed her hooves back in her lap.
"When Audrey called me Miss Bellwether, that hurt the most." The ewe lamented. "It felt like a knife had cut me. The feeling that I had ruined the trust I had worked so hard to build over such a foolish thing."
Dawn looked up to Vanna, her eyes shimmering slightly as tears started to well behind her lenses.
"Audrey thought I was stronger than that. And I felt like I should have been." Dawn smiled softly. "Just like you did."
For the first time since Vanna had poured her soul out to the ewe about her time in the barn, a smile began to form on the large cats face. It was a small, furtive smile, but it was clear the ewe had managed to help ease some of her pain.
"And then of course there's Vernon, who's been doing nothing but trying to make sure I have a good time." Dawn sighed, turning her attention back to the group at large. "My faltering just made more trouble for him." The ewe shook her head. "The gods knows he's got enough of that already with Dorian..." Dawn paused, her memories drifting back to thoughts of the study, the stench of brandy and the cruelty of the wolf's words. Dawn shuddered briefly, trying to shoo the painful memory back into hiding.
"And Yuri." Qali added.
"Hey, he ain't dat bad." Ada interjected. That managed to earned a dull stare from the other girls, all aside from Dawn who simply gave the hyeness a curious glare. After a moment, Ada let out a derisive snort.
"Well, not all da time!" She huffed, crossing her arms defensively.
"Still, I don't want to put anything else on Vernon." Dawn continued, bringing the groups attention back to her. "My Puppy Love had more than enough already."
Qali let out a soft, amorous sigh as she smiled widely at Dawn. "You two are so cute together." Qali cooed. "'Puppy Love', 'Honey Lamb'" The fox playfully exaggerated the pet names.
"Yeah, ya'll two see almost as tight as me and Xavey." Malcolm said with a chuckle.
Dawn smiled warmly as she thought of Vernon. Her poor little Puppy Love who was doing everything in his power to try to give her the ultimate North Meadowlands experience. Fighting a battle against his Father that the wolf couldn't know was bound to lose no matter what he did. All for her sake, all to make her feel like a part of the family. To show her that she belonged, that they fit together.
"He's my soulmate." Dawn sighed warmly. "I love him."
Qali let out another adoring sigh.
"When did you know?" She asked.
"Hmm?" Dawn replied.
"When did you know you loved him?" The diminutive fox added. "That he was the one?"
Dawn smiled warmly at the unusually focused fox. Qali was now leaning on her paws as she stared back at the ewe in childlike wonder. Unlike getting the story of what had happened in the cornfield of her chest, this was one story Dawn knew how to tell.
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topicprinter · 6 years
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I’m writing this short case study in hopes to inspire young entrepreneurs to take action on their seemingly stupid ideas — because the stupid ones are the best ones…I think most people on Reddit are familiar with the nut button meme. It was popular back in 2016, which is ancient in terms of the Internet’s attention span.Despite the meme’s old age, my friend and I have done over $150,000 in sales by leveraging its virality, focusing on simple SEO, and expanding aggressively. We made that 2D meme into a real product — a simple push-activated sound button — and automated our sales across FBA.The Numbers$150,000 revenue in 2018 (proof linked at end)6 Countries60% profit margin4-hours/week of work MAXTens of thousands of nuts in this worldThis isn’t so much a guide, rather just how we did things and what we learned along the way.-Our First 1,000 Units - Inception-to-MarketMy friend and I always spit-ball stupid ideas off each other, hoping something might stick.One day he called and said how has nobody made a real-life nut button; let’s fucking make it. It sounded stupid at first, but the more we talked it out the less stupid of an idea it became.Why it Might WorkThe marketing was already done, but the product wasn’t thereBy that I mean there were millions of shares/views of our soon-to-be-product by ways of the meme, and brand recognition was there.Risk was only $1,250 each for first 1,000 units (minimum order quantity)Upside was about $4,000 eachWhy it Might Not WorkOutdated//irrelevant memeThe juice was worth the squeeze we figured — and if we failed, we could just hand them out on the street or at school for fun… So we found a manufacturer on Alibaba, negotiated a price in broken English, and 1,000 nut buttons were at my doorstep about a month later. I still remember cutting into the first box, and feeling a mix of excitement and extreme self-doubt (I think that mix means you’re on to something).I bought our domain for 10 bucks and set up a SquareSpace site with all the “high-conversion rules” that I had read on Google. With as few frictions as possible in mind, the site contained:One call to action, “Buy Now” (though we’ve broken this rule)Price – we decided $11.99 was fairProduct title and brief descriptionBig, hero images of our productMeta descriptions with SEO keywordsAnd nothing more.Our site was live and our nuts were hot and ready to sell. But how were people going to know that we were selling?We were severely outranked by the actual meme in any early Google search, so we opted for some paid advertising. We scheduled a few posts with quasi-popular Instagram accounts ($75-150per post), and a $10/day ad budget on Facebook.We waited.Our first day we got zero orders. Our second day we got one order, and celebrated. Each day, sales were slowly dribbling in, and by week two we were doing five sales a day and felt like Bill fucking Gates.LogisticsWe bought ourselves a label printer, 500 yellow bubble mailers, and a ShipStation/Stamps account for discounted USPS rates. My college apartment was right across the street from the post office. Every morning before class, I would print out labels, pack the nuts, and drop them off at USPS. Eventually the post office people started calling me Mr. Nut when I was dropping off huge garbage bags full of nuts.At the same time I had set up an Amazon storefront (only $40/month), and we were in the process of sending inventory to FBA distribution centers.I also set up an eBay page for International orders, since eBay has their own global distribution center and deals with customs/shipping themselves. I was surprised by the amount of people paying $20+ on shipping alone to have a nut button sent to their country.Legal ProtectionWe also realized that this product would be super easy for a big fish to produce themselves and undercut us. So we spent a good amount in the beginning on legal fees, trademarks, and IP protection to protect us down the road. Definitely worth it.Big BreakOur goal was alway to get the nut button viral — but that seemed out of our power. Our paid Instagram posts were met with hostile comments like “gtfo normies this isn’t 2016” — but we were still getting around 5 orders a day so we could take the heat.Sometime in November of 2017, this video [link] of a Jack Russel Terrier playing with the nut button was posted. Within a day, it had hundreds of thousands of views and shares on Twitter, and was soon reposted to Barstool with over 5.5 million followers. Our phones were popping off with order notifications. We watched our Amazon seller charts go from 5 orders a day to at its peak well over 100 a day. We were selling more than we anticipated, so many in fact that we were about to run out of inventory, right before Christmas.Zero-Inventory SalesIt would take 30 days to have new inventory rush-produced in China and sent to us, but we were going to run out of inventory much sooner than that. We did not want to lose our momentum, specially during the holiday season. It was mid November, and manufacturer told us that we would have our new batch (5,000 units, which we negotiated for a much cheaper price) by December 11th, which would give us time to fulfill all Christmas orders.We were totally out of inventory by the end of November.So my partner and I agreed to continue taking orders on Amazon (seller-fulfilled) and our website, but we messaged each buyer explaining that we were back ordered and we guaranteed that their nuts would come before Christmas with a free “surprise gift” (it was a nut sticker). Otherwise, they could get an immediate refund no questions asked. Is it illegal to take orders without inventory? I have no idea. But surprisingly very few orders were cancelled.December 11th was around the corner, and we were devastated when tracking info started showing delays. We didn’t even consider the possibility of not fulfilling hundreds of Christmas gift orders that we “guaranteed.” At the same time, I was still in college and finals were approaching so I was stressed as fuck. Lesson learned, be as prepared for the best-case scenario as you are for the worst-case.I was taking a finance final exam when a truck dropped off our palette of nuts, and my house-mates accepted the 20 or so 40kg boxes of nut buttons. There were over 1,000 orders that could finally be fulfilled.I hired three of my friends to help me with packing, and compensated them $15/hr, or offered to pay them in nut buttons (they chose cash). We worked into the night printing labels and packing nut buttons. By midnight my room had become a sea of yellow mailer packages. I had to trudge through them to get to my bed (which I had more videos of this).The next morning I made about twenty trips to the post office. The lady working there looked on in horror as I dropped black garbage bag after black garbage bag full of nuts onto her desk.We were so happy that we got everything sorted out in time that we decided to give back. We found out there were 7 workers at the factory in China where our buttons were made, so we sent each of them $20 for the holidays. In return they sent us great pictures of themselves and handwritten thank you notes. The minimum wage in the city where the factory is located is about $2.90/hour, so I think that $20 means much more to them than it does us.2018It’s been a little over a year since we started this. Every other day I still pack nuts from our website orders and drop them off at the post office, but 95% of fulfillment is automated by Amazon these days. We were recently accepted into an Amazon program called Small and Light which enormously reduced our fees and increased our profits.We also decided to test out different price points. So we tried $14.99 for a couple days to see what kind of effect it had on sales. Weirdly enough our sales for that week were actually greater than they were at $11.99… so we haven’t looked back since. Maybe it's a perceived value thing? Or The Nut Button just has really inelastic demand.We’ve also expanded via Amazon EU into the UK, Germany, France, Spain, and Italy. Despite the annoyance of VAT taxes, we’ve added roughly 15% to our overall sales. Since last holiday season, we’ve improved total sales by about 75% and steeply improved our margins.This coming January, my partner and I planned a trip to China, where we’ll go meet the factory boss and employees, and give them another holiday bonus!Thanks for hearing our storyI don’t mean this in any ways to be self-promotion — I just want to share our story and some fun stuff in getting the business off the ground, and hopefully inspire someone along the way. I’m happy to answer any and all questions you guys have.
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robertkstone · 7 years
Text
BDC and WGDR in the Rearview Mirror
1: Backstory
Most of us have got a few seconds of video out there we wish didn’t exist.
No, this isn’t what you think it is. But it’s just about as embarrassing, and fortunately, our video crew has probably filed it away in some sort of long-term, cold storage where it’ll be very hard to find.
It got recorded about seven years ago during a dragstrip video shoot for a comparison story. On my right, the estimable Art St. Antoine was revving the hoarse-throated flat-six of a white Porsche Boxster Spyder. As I remember, it made sort of a whooping-cough sound. By comparison, my orange Tesla Roadster might as well have had its mouth duct-taped. Its instruments were glowing, its fan was whirring, but as we were discovering, Teslas were mute but ever-alert cars. Robots in a zombie trance until you point your right toe, and it suddenly streaks down the street.
Art and I were positioned in our respective lanes at our blue-collar dragstrip on the northeast corner of California Speedway. Way off to Art’s right, beyond the chain-link fence and the railroad tracks, was (still is) a scrapyard with a giant crane that looks like a steel brontosaurus. It appears to be slowly grazing on crushed cars. I guess it’s where you wind up when you run out of luck. I looked back down the dragstrip.
Suddenly my walkie blurts “Tesla—back up a foot.” I push the shifter button for reverse and relax the brake enough to move about a foot. They want us perfectly aligned for our drag race. “Porsche,” the talkie squawks, “Up about 6 inches.” The Boxster edges forward. “Tesla, back half a foot.” I push R to creep it backward. “Now Porsche, also back a few inches.” Art backs. “Tesla forward 2 inches.” I push D. “Porsche, back another inch.” Art backs again. “Tesla back an inch.” I press R. The cameras are rolling.
“Cars—are you ready?” Art and I nod. I hold the brake down hard and mat the accelerator pedal in preparation. The Porsche’s swelling revs are all we hear because—even trembling on the brink of jolting acceleration—my Tesla’s still silent.
“Five, Four. Three. Two. One –
Go!”
My left foot springs off the brake. And I accelerate backward so fast that it’s a good second before I can process the scene. There’s a cinematic technique called Dolly Zoom, which creates an illusion that the background is suddenly receding. Like how the beach shrunk behind Roy Scheider when he saw the tumbling kid and half-red surf in Jaws. I’m Roy Scheider in a Tesla beach chair staring as Art’s Porsche is surreally stretching away.
I hit the brakes. In all my D- and R-pressing, I’d gotten mixed up. The last button I’d pushed was … I guess, an R. I’m here to tell you that not many cars reverse as fast as a Tesla Roadster could.
Video: “Ahhh—yeah. I think we’ll try that again.” I was mortified. You know when you do something stupendously stupid and your first reaction is to look around to check if anybody saw it?  I was seeing guys standing up from cameras that just recorded it. For all the McLaren F1 slaloming and Ferrari F40 quarter-mile-ing and Porsche 918 figure-eighting I’ve done during 25 years of car testing (and always find ways to regale impressionable new interns with), I’m also always on the brink of reversing at full-tilt in a Tesla, too, I guess.
2: Luck
I like opening Google Earth to show people parking in Lot 1 at California Speedway in Fontana. Find where the 15 and 10 Freeways cross, go right and up a bit, zoom in, then zoom in some more, and you’ll see the smudgy black shape of a figure-eight pattern on the asphalt. It looks like a giant hand drew it with a 50-foot felt pen. I like to say I’ve left my mark on the world—and there it is right there. Its infinity-shaped path is an endless repetition of accelerating, stopping, and 240-degree turns that ultimately goes nowhere. And will fade away after the first rainstorm, anyway. It’s a metaphor for life, in a third of a mile.
If we were to drop ourselves down there next to it like real life Street View people—about three months ago during our testing for Best Driver’s Car—the figure eight’s path would be dotted with tire-scuffed orange traffic cones. Look up—the sky’s blue. It’s 8 a.m. Well, it’s actually kind of a warm 8 a.m., or maybe it’s my nerves. I’m shooting glances over at a small white box truck and its rolled-up rear door, which appears to have its mouth full of virgin Michelins on feathery aluminum-spoked wheels. Three guys next to it are periodically checking things on a Ferrari 488 GTB. The car: a wave of turbulent red froth, freeze-framed by a perfectly timed pause button. The tires: gummy black barrels about to be converted into kinetic energy, Einstein’s E=MC2 in automotive terms. Together, they’re a four-wheeled pinball loaded against a 661-hp spring and shot onto a craggy parking lot course of orange bumpers and paddles. Fun, right? Why’s my blood pressure hockey-sticking like this, then?
A few weeks earlier, associate road test editor Erick Ayapana was on the phone with the Ferrari’s handlers when he was asked if the car could be accompanied by a test driver to ‘confirm’ our test numbers. “What do you think?” Erick asked, with his ‘this is sort of weird’ look and patented 5-degree head tilt. Ordinarily, I’d say ‘No way,’ we do the confirming. But suddenly my talking muscles started channeling Edward R. Murrow’s. “Hmmm…. that would make for an interesting story.” Murrow raises his black-rimmed glasses to his forehead “Me versus a Ferrari test driver … I’ll get clobbered, but I’d like to read something like that.” Sacrifice your pride for the sake of a story. My Murrow-self felt slightly noble. An easy thing, actually, if—unlike Murrow—you have absolutely no sense of time or deadlines.
But here the Ferrari is, right there, right now. The deadline is today, and one of those three guys over there is going to gut my fragile driving reputation with his bare hands. Which one of them is my assassin?
A good lap in that car might be, I don’t know—maybe 23 seconds? When road test editor Chris Walton and I back-to-back figure eight really fast cars, a 0.1-second gap kinda stings. How badly is this guy going pound me? 0.3 second? 0.4? If I’m beaten by 0.5 second, will I notice that on the next test day I’m sent on local press trip to cover Hyundai’s new interior color palettes? Randy Pobst is flown in from Atlanta to fast-track young-gun Ayapana into our new full-time figure-eighter? And why don’t I ever channel Juan Fangio instead of Ed Murrow? Maybe it’s best to just walk quickly down the hall to the lethal-injection table and get this over with.
“Hi. I’m Kim—so which of you is the driver?” A young, medium-height guy with an olive complexion smiles and extends his hand. “I’m Donato Tanzillo. Development driver for Ferrari” Oh. And an Italian accent. I invite him to sit for a chat.
“So, ah, where do you do your test driving?” I warily ask.
“Fiorano. Monza. Nürburgring” he reels off. This guy’s the real McCoy. I glance at the parking lot and give a numb look: “I drive over there.” He looks at the parking lot. Donato, I’m realizing, is one of a handful of test drivers at Fiorano, Ferrari’s famous factory test track. Now I’m thinking it’ll be 0.6 second. A few years ago, I drove around Fiorano with one of these guys, and every time he thought I wasn’t graceful enough with the steering or pedals, he’d actually hit me in the thigh. “Smooother! Smooother!” he’d shout.
Remembering that, I spontaneously pointed in a random direction and exclaimed “Hey, look over there!” and as Donato turned, I feigned running away—an effective diversionary tactic I learned from The Princess Bride (switching wine glasses). But no use. We agree that I’ll go first.
Leaning into the open driver’s window of the fast-idling 488, Donato emphasizes one thing “Don’-ta turn the manettino to ‘ESC Off’. If you’re smoo-the, you’ll be faster in CT (traction control-off) mode.”
Of course, this could be a trick. It might actually be faster in ESC Off. Maybe he’s hoping I’ll use CT and go slower while he cleverly uses ESC Mode. Is this the sort of man who would put the poison in his own goblet?  Or in his enemy’s? Has he memorized The Princess Bride, too, and is one step ahead of me? I study his face. He’s giving nothing away.
I might have driven a thousand of cars around the figure-eight course, and on paper, a handful of them ought to be faster than the 488. The difference is that none of those has prancing horses fastened to their cowl’s flanks.
Symbolism: There’s a prancing horse on Porsches, too—recognizing horse breeding in historic Stuttgart. McLaren’s swoosh is either a stylized version of the wing-tip vortices. Here’s a way better story, though: In 1923, the mother of Francesco Baracca, an Italian fighter pilot who died in action in 1918, gave then racing driver, Enzo Ferrari, the prancing horse emblem that graced her son’s plane. There are giant churches and there’s Rome’s St. Peter’s. Does the Vatican Guard really need to wear those clothes? Italian tradition is colorful, dramatic, and always calculated to affect you.
Or intimidate you—partly why it took me so many laps to settle down and start to understand the rhythm of the car. Finally, I pulled over and asked Donato to hop in for some pointers. But after a few more laps, he just smiled and said “It’s good. It’s good.” Instantly I swerved toward the MT crew along the edge of the parking lot; they gotta hear this. I climb out. Donato settles in and roars off in a series of rifle-quick gearshifts. There will be no last-second pardon from the governor now. My lap time of 22.7 seconds is going to last for another 22.2.
By the way, this is all happening while we were testing a live telemetry system (RaceCapture/Pro from AutosportsLabs) in tandem with our usual Vbox equipment. So I could see, realtime, Donato’s times as they quickly started shrinking. And then—plateaued. I knew in an instant knew what had stopped the drop; I’d hopelessly worn and overheated this set of tires. “There’s nothing I can do. The tires are gone” Donato says, as he glides up.
Really—honestly—I didn’t mean to do that. I’m not that smart. Later, new tires are bolted on and I trim off another 0.1 second, careful to hand Donato his car back with competitive rubber. But in a gesture I’ll forever cherish, he says no, there’s no need for him to rerun the car for time. He’s satisfied. Donato smiles. He then flies around the track in spectacular, smoke-boiling drifts to finish them off before swapping again for Mazda Raceway Laguna Seca. Our associate online editor Michael Cantu quickly texts me: “I hear you beat the Ferrari test driver!” No. I met a gentleman. Lucky day.
3: Buttons again
The twist in this year’s World’s Greatest Drag race video was that at the very last instant, the perky Mazda Miata RF would retreat from the starting lineup and we’d slot in the Ludicrous-quick Tesla P100D. So while the other eleven gas-powered cars are brrrrraping their throttles, the only EV here would glide silently into position using its Summon Mode. Our squadron of Best Driver’s Cars would be joined by one without a driver.
However, its radar seemed to be seeing phantom obstacles and stopping short of the line. So with the clock ticking, we decided to simulate it; the idea was too funny to drop. I climbed in with a walkie-talkie, crunched down, and began operating the brake and accelerator with my hands per features editor Christian Seabaugh’s off-camera directions. “Forward, forward. Keep going,” Christian instructed. I pressed the accelerator with my right hand. “Slow, slow” I lightly palmed the rubber pedal with my left hand. Sharp-eyed Tesla aficionados will realize something’s up because Summon Mode would have automatically folded-in the side mirrors. Finally, Christian shouted “Stop! That’s it!” We wrestled helmets past momentarily pinched ears, and cinched our chin straps.
Positioning each individual car was a half-dozen serious-faced Air Force soldiers (off-duty, no charge to tax-payers) who would wave us forward with cupped fingers and then suddenly cross their forearms, our signal to halt—what’s normally seen through the acrylic canopy of a parking F16. Cool. On my left, Christian was pulsing his Ferrari 488 forward. This thing just doesn’t know idling; it’s either off and silent or a mechanical Milan Symphony Orchestra playing fu from PerformanceJunk WP Feed 3 http://ift.tt/2hPj7Q8 via IFTTT
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