#like going head to head with shimizaki without waiting for the others

[dontforgetthedragon]

i wanna talk about hanazawa teruki

(preface: written before the eric trump thing)

yes this is a weird time to be talking about mp100 i know but i was rewatching the anime recently and its only starting to occur to me just how bad i feel for this boy

like, i feel that the first time i watched mp100 my impression of teru was just feral wildchild who speedruns his redemption arc and also has the worst fashion sense but, like, there’s a lot more complexity to our boy teru than that

and its not really until s1 ep11 that it really clicked that the root of a lot of teru’s actions is that he is a child who has been fundamentally failed by the adults in his life

we dont know an awful lot about teru’s parents, other than the fact that he doesnt live with them and, from the manga, we learn they are almost always away on business trips. ekubo theorises that the reason for this is that he has had to hide from claw over and over, so it’s possible he distanced himself from them for their safety. but regardless of the exact details, the fact is they were clearly unable to protect him from the threats in his life. those were things he had to deal with on his own

when we the viewers first encounter hanazawa teruki, shadow leader of black vinegar middle school, it is when he is sent for as a last resort and as the school’s secret unbeatable weapon. he is the one everyone else is relying on, while he relies on no-one but himself. no wonder he developed such an inflated sense of his own importance and power!!! no wonder he thinks hes untouchable!!! when has anyone in his life ever been able to do a better job at anything than him??? he can use his powers to solve all the obstacles in his life - cheat at tests, do well in sports, get popular, win fights - when other people have problems, they come to him

when he has problems, he cant really go to anyone - not even his flakey parents. because if he cant deal with them, whats the likelihood anyone else can? he has to solve it all himself - but at the point we first meet him, he’s always been able to. so whats the big deal, right?

but thats a precarious place to stand

teru doesnt get to learn and fail and make mistakes like a child should. he doesnt have that safety net. his entire approach to life thus far relies on him always succeeding, so he needs to already be the best. success has to be a given because it is this belief that makes up the very foundations of his world, that makes him feel safe and stable. so his reaction to discovering shigeo’s existance is about more than just threatened pride, its about threatened stability as well. because if shigeo is stronger than him, then that means people can be stronger than him, that any mundane-looking person could be. that his ability to thrive by himself is not guaranteed

what happens to him then? he doesnt have anyone to fall back on

(its important to stress that feeling safe and secure is more important to him than being safe and secure. the extremity of his reaction speaks more to a maladaptive psycological response than something actually helpful)

and then he is beaten. soundly. and he has to accept that

it puzzled me in my first watch-though how quickly teru goes from extreme aggression towards and nearly strangling mob to genuine friendliness and even affection. but with this understanding it makes perfect sense

we see from teru’s attempts to speak to claw members that on the surface he has absorbed and understood shigeo’s words. no-one is more important than anyone else. seeing yourself as the main character of the world or as inherently more deserving because of psychic powers is a huge mistake. but your subconcious feelings and beliefs are harder to change and by the end of ep 11 it becomes clear that, for teru, these have simply shifted from i am the most important and powerful character in the world and i cannot be beaten to kageyama-kun is the most important and powerful character in the world and he cannot be beaten. which isnt much better

once he accepts his defeat and relative irrelevance, letting go of his pride, it must have been a relief for teru to know an esper more powerful than him. especially one like shigeo, who showed such a stubborn desire for friendliness and civil relations toward him, even in the face of teru’s open aggression. finally, teru has someone he can turn to for help. someone he can rely on when things get too tough to handle himself. someone else to hand that responsibility to

he goes after claw because he feels that with mob on his side he stands a fighting chance. when ritsu and teru both admit their powers arent enough, its shigeo they turn to. when the group are being attacked by multiple scars at once, teru is the voice opposing reigen, screaming out in desperation - while fending off attacks with increasing futility - that mob needs to do something, that he’s the only one with the power to defeat them

the issue is, thats not fair on shigeo

teruki’s unstable and neglectful upbringing has left him with a warped sense of the kind of responsibility a middle schooler should hold. the idea of turning to an adult for help, or even giving an adult’s words any weight, is completely foreign to him at this point because, in his experience, age has little bearing on power or even effective authority. he’s had to make his own way through life without adults to rely on, so he genuinely doesnt understand the issue with putting this burden on shigeo’s shoulders. they need to defeat the scars attacking them, and kageyama-kun is the one with the power to do it. ergo, kageyama needs to use his power to defeat the scars. whats so wrong about that?

teru isnt really a sad character; he’s very practical about his situation and we never see him wallow in bitterness at these injustices. but im also not sure he actually realises how much childhood growth and development space he’s been robbed of, and that makes it hard for him to face his own failings