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creweemmaeec11 · 4 years ago

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I'm not sure what this little snippet is, but enjoy it anyway I guess aha!

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It was about time the hero tried a different tactic. They were tired of waiting for the villain to do something, then showing up to stop it. This time, the hero wanted to stop the villain before anything happened in the first place.

It was genius, really, and was something the hero really should have tried a long time ago.

The only problem, was *finding* the villain in the first place.

It wasn't like the hero had a home adress.

He'd spent nearly two hours scouring the city, hopping from rooftop to rooftop with no sign of anything abnormal when he heard a faint, almost whimpering sound.

The hero was thankful they had heightened senses, otherwise they may not have heard it at all.

They used their super strength to climb up the tall building, continuing to hop a few more rooftops when they froze.

Their eyes landed on the villan. He was sitting on a slightly sloped roof, back against a brick wall where the building continued upward. Their knees where pulled taught to their chest, cape wrapped around them like a blanket to shield them from the chill of the cool night air. One arm was wrapped around their knees, holding their dagger while the other hand was wiping at their face, trying to disperse the tears- *they were crying*.

The hero suddenly felt uneasy. What were they supposed to do here? They always saw the villain as cold, heartless, emotionless but, clearly that wasnt the case. They weren't sure what to do, or even how to feel with that information.

Information they clearly weren't supposed to have, given how high up and secluded this spot was. The villain clearly wanted to be left alone.

But, they were a hero! They're job was to help people and this villain was clearly in distress! He couldnt just leave!

They jumped onto the same roof as the villain, who didnt seem to notice. They were still a good 7-10 meters away from them, but the villain was usually very intune with the environment. The hero had never been able to get even near this close to them without the villain being fully aware.

They were now close enough to use their enhanced hearing to hear the ragged breathes and rapid heartbeat of the other.

The hero took a breath.

"Beautiful night out tonight," the hero offered in a friendly, conversational tone. They were smart enough to know that directly asking what was wrong wouldnt get them anywhere.

The villains reply came in form of a violent flinch and sharp inhale of breath. Their head snapped to look at the hero, shock and... was that *fear* written all over their face?

The villain never wore a mask, much like the hero, but they did usually have a hood down over their face, so being able to see it this clearly was strange.

However, with being able to see it this clearly, the hero could see how red and puffy the area around their eyes were, their cheeks thoroughly damp with tears, their eyes red.

The villain immediately directed their dagger at the hero, scrambling backwards across the roof frantically.

The hero held their hands up, "I come in peace,"

The villain stared at them in shock for a moment, "why are you... what... how long have you been..."

Before the hero could reply, the villain shook their head, steeling their features and pushing themselves to their feet. They wiped their face and took a deep breath, grasping for some sense of composure.

"What do you want?!" They snapped, "Why are you here?!"

Their grip tightened on their dagger.

"Theres no need for that, I come in peace, I swear," the hero tried.

"As if you would ever show up just to chat," the villain hissed.

The hero surveyed the situation. Clearly, the villain, who was usually overly composed and smooth, was distressed.

The villain was doing a good job faking composure, but it was obvious in way their fret twitched, weight shifting from foot to foot, fingers flexing while their eyes darted all over the place. They were one wrong word away from taking off.

Right now, the hero was a threat, and he needed to be seen as not one.

Slowly- very slowly, so the villain could track their movements, the hero sat down on the roof, sliding themselves to sit back against the brick wall like the villan had previously. He bend a knee, resting his elbow on it as he looked out at the city. They didnt look over at the villain, trusting their super hearing to tell them if they moved.

"The view from up here is pretty breath taking," The hero commented casually.

"What?"

"My favourite spots are usually around the inner city, like the tops of the big office buildings, but this spot might be even better, with the already tall building being on a hill and all."

Finially the hero dared a glance at the villain.

They were standing in the same spot, though their posture was more relaxed. They were staring at the hero with a dumbstruck look on their face.

"What are you doing?" They asked, narrowing their eyes.

"I mean, we could talk about the weather if youd rather?" The hero smirked.

The villain glanced away, seemingly considering running again.

"Come on," the hero added, "it's not like you have anything interesting going on tonight,"

"That's a rude assumption to make," The villain replied jokingly, crossing his arms and relaxing more as he glanced at his feet.

"Please, you know if you had something important going on tonight I would have been bat signaled already,"

The villain snorted at that. They gave the hero another look over, before caving and settling back down against the roof.

"Is this your way of telling me your bored? Have I not been active enough for you?"

"Thats- not what I meant," the hero sputtered, causing the villain to chuckle slightly.

The hero glanced over, watching the villain twirl his dagger in the air mindlessly. Or, well, mindedly, considering they were using their telekinesis. But it was twirling in a non threatening way, just spinning in the air like a spin top.

"That's a pretty cool trick," the hero commented.

"What? Oh-" the villain blushed, plucking the dagger out of the air like he hadn't even realized hed been doing it.

"sometimes I wish I had a cooler power," the hero started so the villain wouldnt have to explain themselves.

"Wait, really?" The villan asked, looking at the hero in shock.

"Yeah, I mean, dont get me wrong, enhanced senses and strength are certainly handy, but they arnt as cool as like flight,"

The villain hummed, fidgeting with the dagger in their hands, twirling the tip against their finger.

"Super senses also have their downsides, like when someone is trying to surprise you by baking you something, but you can smell it before you even get in the house,"

"I get the feeling theres a story there,"

"Friends tried to throw me a surprise party, I could hear them shuffling and whispering from down the hall, and I could smell the cake and such,"

"Only a hero would view not being able to be surprised as a *downside*" the villain replied, rolling their eyes.

"I guess I shouldn't complain though, it helps with being a hero a lot, without the hearing I probably wouldnt have heard you,"

Out of the corner of his eye, the hero saw the villain immediately tense, bristling slightly.

"Is that why your here? Doing this? You think I'm someone in need of saving?" They hissed.

"Partly," the hero admitted, "I dont think anyone deserves to be alone when there upset, but I'm also making sure you arent up to anything dastardly,"

"Oh yeah, I'm always doing something villainous alright, like crying on a rooftop," they replied mockingly, before realizing they were admitting to crying.

"I wont pressure you into an answer, but you know I have to ask..." the hero replied after a moment of silence.

"Theres no way-"

"Before you turn me down," the hero interjected, "consider I'm one of the few people who may actually understand, considering the uh... line of work,"

The villain stared with a blank, unreadable expression for a few moments, before huffing and looking off to the horizon again.

"Its the anniversary of something. That's the only information your getting,"

The hero hummed in response, continuing to look off into the horizon. They both stayed silent.

In the end, it was the villain who broke it.

"I need to go." They stated, standing up.

"oh really? Where are you off to?" The hero asked with genuine curiosity.

The villain shot them a baffled look, "you know I'm not going to tell you that... right?"

"Oh,"

"Your weird, hero,"

"Why thank you," The hero joked.

"Until next time," The villain stated, before stepping backwards off the roof.

"Farewell!" The hero called.

Things were... different after that night.

Second part here!

#hero x villain #writing #writers on tumblr #snippet #short fiction #heros #villains

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om-headcanon · 4 years ago

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☆ obey me brothers reacting to mc losing a friend

it isnt often discussed how much pain losing a friend can cause. if youre feeling hurt from losing someone you cared for, thats completely normal. here is how i believe the brothers would deal with the situation (slight tw for food mention!)

lucifer

he immediately notices something is off with you, but respects you enough to not pry

after a few days go by and you dont seem to have changed much, he politely inquires whats up

you tell him someone you cared for left and gave you little to no explanation why

hes unsure whether to give you a hug or give you space, but he lets you know that he is always here for you

if you want to talk about it more, he is here to listen. if you just want to be held, hes got you. if youre on cooking duty that night, hell cook for you, and even bring food to you if you dont feel like leaving your room

oh and if he ever finds the person who hurt you? wish them good luck

mammon

he was waiting outside your door at 1 am listening in to see if you were sleeping (if not, he was going to barge in obviously)

he hears crying... worried, he opens the door

he sits next to you on the bed and rubs your shoulder, asking whats going on

you tell him about how your best friend back in the human world (hes heard of this friend before, you talk about them all the time) suddenly decided they dont want to be your friend anymore

hes shocked... he cant begin to comprehend someone not wanting to be YOUR friend? like, youre awesome!

he proceeds to monologue for 4 minutes about how awesome you are. he stops when he sees you smile

“i-im just gonna stay in here for the night. yanno, to make sure youre okay”

leviathan

he immediately noticed something was off when he texted you he was about to play your favorite game and you didnt show up

he searches around the house for you, and finds you sitting by yourself in the dining room with red eyes

he isnt the best when it comes to comforting people, but he could tell you needed help. he sat down next to you and asked if there was anything you want to talk about

you tell him the gist of what happened

like mammon, hes shocked anyone wouldnt want to be around you. like youre the first human he has cared for... and youre now his closest friend too? youre so special!

and he tells you that

he lets you know if you need any distraction, you guys can watch your favorite anime (obviously you say yes)

he brings popcorn and chocolate and you two sit together watching tv for hours

satan

you were in the library? before him?

he assumes you just wanted some alone time, so he starts to leave... but then decides to ask whats got you in the library?

you tell him the details

out of all his brothers, it seems as if he understands the least. he doesnt really get why youre upset as he doesnt really have many friends himself nor has never experienced what youre feeling, but decides to stay by your side and reassure you that hes a friend who wont leave

he decides to stay a while and reads a book out loud to you so youre not absentmindedly staring at the wall all alone

if you lie in his lap, he will play with your hair too until you fall asleep

asmodeus

almost immediately after you heard the news yourself, asmo comes flying through your bedroom door

he asks if youre okay because “your vibes felt weird... i felt like you were upset” (he wasnt wrong, but odd that he knew)

youre still processing the situation, and dont know how to put it into words

and thats alright, because asmo doesnt even need to know. you havent given him any information regarding the situation and hes already showering you in love

hes going on and on about how youre the best and coolest person he has ever met in his life while giving you numerous cheek kisses (if youre uncomfortable he will stop of course)

he just wants you to know you are loved

beelzebub

around this time, you usually help beel record work out videos. so when you didnt show up, he was surprised

he checked the kitchen for you, and you happened to be in there. he picked you up and carried you to his room

you thought beel would just make you record the video, but he just places you on his bed and climbs into it himself

he can tell youre sad and asks why you are sad... he doesnt like when you are sad!

you tell him someone you loved really hurt your feelings

his eyes widen and he cries a little. he doesnt want you to feel pain ever

he holds you in an embrace and tells you he will never ever hurt your feelings

belphegor

you two were supposed to take a nap, but he wakes up when he realises youre not sleeping

he asks whats on your mind preventing you to sleep

you tell him the summary

hes furious that this person of yours is preventing you from getting good sleep

he drags you to the kitchen and makes you a soup he always makes for beel when hes feeling low

he lets you know that hes glad hes got to know you and hell go fight that human you know if it would make you feel any better

he hopes you sleep better knowing youre cared for

#this is my first headcanon i hope i did well!#obey me shall we date #obey me headcanon #obey me headcanons #lucifer headcanon #mammon headcanon #leviathan headcanon #satan headcanon #asmodeus headcanon #beelzebub headcanon #belphegor headcanon

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yellowbluemoonshine · 4 years ago

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One of my triggers is when someone says that villain cannot be or deserve to be redeemed. Like they acknowledge the tragic circumstances, but they say like the villain show no remorse for killing innocent people or just want to destroy everything. I really don't like people saying they want the villain have some naruto's redemption. But I feel like they missed point of why many of us want it. The villains never had a choice unlike endeavor or afo.

Agreed.

I think some people dont understand the meaning of redemption. Redemption means facing with what you did, taking responsibility and this is the best thing that person can do. To me, there is no such thing that great villain or best villain, something like improving yourself to be better villain cause being a villain is literally comes from choosing to not improving yourself to be better person. People dont choose to be evil or bad, they learn all bad things from their environment. They just simply dont choose to be better person and thats the flaw of "villains" have. Choosing to do wrong things usually comes from lack of goodness, lack of empathy.

Like, Overhaul was abandonded and traumatized by it. He was used as a tool by Yakuza. They used a child. And Overhaul became a yakuza and he truly wanted to pay his boss for taking him in. But what makes overhaul “bad” guy is not choosing to be yakuza cause he was groomed to be, his flaw was choosing to not changing. He could’ave emphatize with his underlings and could connect with them. He could emphatize with Eri cause Eri is just like her, she was abandoned and taken by Yakuza. Overhaul went to school and had people around him, instead of obsessing with past, he could open himself to new people. he could gain new different perspectives, he could at least try. Overhaul didnt suddenly decide to destroy little girl, he learnt those horrible things from Yakuza but when he could choose to be better person, he didnt.

There is a reason that Shigaraki is meant to be parallel with him. Unlike Overhaul, Shigaraki didnt go to school and he didnt have people around him, he was isolated but when he met with other people, he chose to care, listen their needs.

This shows that Shigaraki choosing to change but there are villains who doesnt want to change. I dont know that what kind of person Overhaul would be, if he had better life or if he could ever change for better but for now, he doesnt seem to want to change and story didnt give any hint about it.

There is a reason that some characters get redemption but some do not. The characters/villains who dont get redemption or who dont want to change is not cool or “loyalty to their evil cure” or something like that. They are people who choose easy ways cause redemption means taking responsibility and trying to be better person, improving yourself as person is not easy at all.

Murder is bad, wrong, yes but we all are humans equally and people dont just suddenly decide to doing worst thing. And sometimes, people dont have too much choices, sometimes they can be in hard situtions, sometimes they do things to survive, many reason can be, we cant know that. So yes, murder is bad but that doesnt mean that murderer is bad person.

The thing that many people ignore is anyone could do those horrible things. Lets say, you are in hunger game. If you dont kill, other person will kill you. Many people would choose to kill. Or lets say, if you dont kill, they will your family or you are hungry and if you cant kill that person, you wont get food. blah blah. Point is what importance is not the degree of crime.

Most important thing is How aware is the perpetrator of what he is doing? Under what conditions did he make this choice? when and where did he make this choice?

Abuse, rape, murder. These things are all bad things (i wont talk about rape cause i dont have enough information about it cause it mihgt relate a lot of things.).

For example, Endeavour abused his family, Shigaraki killed people. Many people wouldnt care abuse or bullying cause “its not like they died”, most people tell them to get over it and they ignore all the effects of abuse. (This is actually what bnha focus on. Abuse.) Well, of course killing is pretty bad though.

Now, we can ask the questions.

-What Endeavour did?

Violence towards his family

When Endeavour made this decision?

He was grown man, basically when he was an adult, an age that you are responsible for your actions cause you can see the difference between right and wrong and you are capable of holding yourself

Under what conditions did he make this choice?

He did work so hard to be No 1 hero but he failed, um, he has money, access to a lot of things, good education so of course, when you worked hard and you dont get results, you will be so upset, it would be hard. But we can say that Endeavour wasnt even really in hard sitution at all.

What kind of choices he made?

He chose his ambitions over well being of his family. So basically he made very selfish decision with his own will for the sake of selfish desires and it resulted with other people’s getting hurt and Endeavour didnt even care about that.

How this selfish decision affect other people?

His wife became unstable and stayed in hospital for 15 years, she is still in there

Shouto lost his all childhood, he was traumatized and still having flashbacks from his trauma

Fuyumi had to act like a parent since her young age, Natsuo has anger issues cause of all this stuff

Touya/Dabi literally dealing with mental issues, identify disorder cause of abuse effects

So basically, Endeavour is fully responsible for what he did.

Btw for the people who dont know, this is a crime in real life, he should be arrested but look at what he got. He decided to change, like 6 months ago or something. Except of his hero job, he apologised and left the house for them and thats it. Rei and Fuyumi already is ready forgive him cause Rei wants his children to be happy cause Endeavour took that hapinness from them, Fuyumi just wants happy normal family cause Endeavour took that normal family life from her, Shouto is forcing himself to forgive cause to be able to be hero, he needs to work with his father and his all family wants this. From people’s eyes, Natsuo seems “someone who couldnt get over past” just because he didnt forgive his father or just because he didnt act like nothing happenned, he gets social pressure from it. This probably didnt happen, if Endeavour wasnt prohero.

Now, lets look at Shigaraki.

What Shigaraki did?

Murder, kidnap, threatinning, violent behaviours without hesitations

When Shigaraki made this decision?

Lets look at how it all started.

When Shigaraki chose to kill people?

when he was 5 years old? when he was 7-8 years old when Afo manipulate him to kill people? or when he became an adult and continuing this murder?

Point here is; children cant be responsible for crimes for a reason cause they dont have ability to understand what is right what is wrong.

so when he killed his family; it was accident except his father.

But with his father, it was self defense. Many people want to believe that it was intentional but its not, his father hit him and he reacted to violence, thats it. There is also other fact that children can not able to hold theirselves, especially like when you just watched all your family s death in front of your eyes.

So, logically he can not be responsible for his family’s death.

When he was 7-8 years old, Shigaraki is making a decision here and from this moment, he continues the murder but what kind of decision he is making? Under what conditions did he make this choice?

He was traumatized and he is dealing with abuse effects, his anger, negative feelings that he has no idea to how to deal with, he didnt get any education, he doesnt have people who will give him a different choice or people who wil give him some kind of affection, he is literally with Afo all alone, isolated, dont know what to do, doesnt know what is right and Afo says him “you have two choices”

1- suffer lonely forever like this while others are having fun but just you know, you will be disappointed for me-the person who saved you, if you stay like this

2- destroy anything you dont like and make me proud

This didnt happen right when he was 7-8,

Shigaraki is with Afo since he was 5, he listened those words for years and he hold himself back. Then the decision Shigaraki make was first one, he hold himself, until the moment holding himself is not an option. This is why he became a murder. Let me remind you, he was 7-8 so he still wasnt responsible for killing at that age.

so you can say, now Shigaraki became an adult so he can choose but we all know that people dont grow, if they dont have a chance to grow.

People kill to survive, this is not to justify murder, this is understanding of that sometimes some people can not really make choice in some situtions.

If a person is not given growth conditions, children cannot grow.

Shigaraki may have grown biologically, but mentally, he was not given the opportunity to grow. What makes us humans human is our interaction with other people.

If we do not interact with anyone, we lose our identity or in the case of Shigaraki, our personality does not occur. If Shigaraki has not grown, how can he be considered an adult?

We know that many terrible events such as trauma and violence can cause long-term damage to people's brains regarding mental health. So, how can Shigaraki's trauma be responsible for what she does, given his mental health?

We know that it is impossible not to lose mental balance in conditions of Shigaraki, it is impossible to grow, it is impossible to protect his mind against manipulation at the age of a child. So how exactly could Shigaraki cope in these conditions?

This is the problem. He cant not be able to handle it. Impossible.

You might say you could choose not to kill, but while the only adult who was with him showed him that it was true, and how he could otherwise deal with these feelings he had accumulated in him, what else could Shigaraki do?

Shigaraki kills without hesitation because killing is all he knows, the only thing he has been taught.

That's why Shigaraki's interaction with his team is important because it was the first time in his life that he met different opinions and people.

So he started to heal throughout the series. He chose to improve, to be a better person. So this character can get redemption.

And he feels guilty about what he does, but he does not show it by crying, he shows treating his own life as nothing and harming himself. Shigaraki may have begun to develop herself, but it does not mean that his trauma will cure magicly and he will suddenly getting away from Afo manipulation, he cant because he still hasn't given her another choice. No one was able to show him another way to survive both without suffering and having to kill. That's why it's important for a hero to reach out him.

Yes, Shigaraki killed a lot of people and they didnt deserve it, of course but whether he killed one person or killed million people, he had no choice. Everyone wants this character to pay the price because they want to blame someone for those much death, whereas like Afo and Ujiko who made Shigaraki suffer, those who choose not to reach Shigaraki when they can reach like Gran Torino etc, are more responsible than Shigaraki for what they did because they choose. But Shigaraki is just putting into practice what he has been taught, thats all he knows.So people really want to blame someone, they should blame people who could do something about it but choosing not to, they could blame the people who hurt this kid for their selfish reasons, they shouldnt blame the kid who is just reacting his pain cause he doesnt have a choice, he is not making a decision and people REACT.

Shigaraki can not understand his actions of how he effect other people / effect of his actions cause he is hardly be able to see them as an indiviluas, thats what happens, when you live your life as isolated. Shigaraki cant care other people s life while his own life was treated as worthless, they literally ignored his pain, even when he was a child. Shigaraki cant emphatize with people in society who have good lifes cause he never felt a safety his all life, there is no way he can understand their comfort. So basically, in those conditions, its not that Shigaraki doesnt want to emphatize with them, he CANT.

(This is why he asked Deku cause he is trying to understand at least to be able to improve himself for better which is the most important thing).

This is why people like Afo, Ujiko, Hero commity, Endeavour, they are worse than people like Shigaraki, Dabi, Hawks, Toga etc cause those people who created these “monsters” with their full will for the sake of their selfish desires. They are more responsible for monster’s actions than monsters casue they are the one who groomed them, rebuild their mindset.

That was also the subject of the Frankeinstein story. The monster may have killed a lot of people, but who created the monster? How does the monster become guilty when there are people who can teach him the truth, but don't choose to teach it, while the monster doesn't know what it's doing is right and wrong? However, he was not taught better. So how can he choice better, if he hasnt taught better? HE CANT.

As many as people want, may think Shigaraki is making a choice right now and that he's a bad guy, but in those circumstances, it was impossible for Shigaraki to choose a better option.

What do you expect to happen when you close someone in a room for years, stop him from talking to people and subject him to constant violence?

Do you think that person will not react to this violence?

Do you expect that person to behave like human while that person lives away from all kinds of human conditions?

Under these conditions, it is nonsense to expect better than Shigaraki.

In other words,

murder is apparently worse than violence, but an adult like Endeavor, who chooses exactly what he is doing without caring about the harm to other people, is fully responsible for what he does. Shigaraki, on the other hand, cannot really be held responsible for what she did, as it is impossible to act otherwise under these conditions.

So i understand that people are upset with death of people which is normal, those people who were killed by Shigaraki didnt deserve it at all but people need to understand that Shigaraki didnt have better choice, path than this. People say “this doesnt justify” cause they are scared of that the person will get away from what he did but point here is he doesnt get away from anything, he is victim whose all choices and humanity taking away from him so treating this victim as villain who just should defeated is NOT justice. If people want to blame someone, they should blame the people who are TRULY responsible for this, not the victim whose humanity stolen from him. Thats the point here.

By the way, not everyone has to be like Shigaraki. Shigaraki is already a character designed to be the ultimate victim. The reason it parallels with Deku is not because they are both heirs, but because they are both essentially the same kind child. But not everyone could be this kind, they could react worse and they might not have adapted to change that much. Shigaraki is just a tragic example of even you are the kindest person in the world, in terrible conditions, you would be just like Shigaraki or probably worse. He is a tragedy character, symbolize the victimhood that shows untentionally with most unpleasant ways. (Toga, Dabi, Shigaraki etc they all symbolize effects of violence though, they are not choosing a decision but actually just reacting the violence they endured, thats all, maybe i can make analysis about it later.)

Redemption is not about deserving or not. It's about wanting to be a better person but facing your creations or not. And if a villain receives redemption, it already shows that he has this potential from the very beginning, potential to be a good person, actually he was not as bad as that was thought, that is. Well at least, well-written redemptions work like this. In other words, villains such as Joker or Ujiko that will not receive redemption have nothing to admire. Choosing to be a villain until the end of your life is not something to be proud of, it is something to be ashamed of, because this is proof that you don't want to improve yourself.

I was just gonna say “i agreed” and make it short but i guess, i am kinda bored and this post became my rant, lol. Thank you anon btw.

#endeavour #shigaraki tomura #child abuse #abuse #bnha abuse #shimura tenko #mha redemption #anon

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energyanon · 3 years ago

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FAQ Energy Readings

I am well aware that I cannot stop anyone when it comes to doing their own readings even if they are not experienced. by now, I hope that you have read this post and are at the very least following the guidelines. If you have done so, I applaud you, thank you for taking this seriously. If you have read the post, and you still want to go ahead i’ve decided to give some background information for you to consider in your readings while you practice. I will not be discussing HOW to do things, as, if you are doing these readings you should know this already, but this is some extra study just so it can help you in them. (If you arent interested in doing ER’s yourself, some of the information in here will give you some insight into your own energy, feel free to read that but otherwise, please do scroll down to where the quotes are, as they help everyone in understanding their own family dynamic/trauma.) I do think it will help everyone. I will continue to add to this with anything that I find would help you make better decisions when conducting a reading.

1. Before doing readings you need to work on yourself. There are things that can come up in a reading that are extraordinarily triggering, and you will never know that it’s coming up. Sexual abuse, attempted suicide, death.. nothing that wants to come into light gives two shits about you being triggered, and so you need to have done the work to be able to step out and stop without becoming consumed by it. You need to then be able to also have enough strength to close off the reading. If you are too fractured from the trigger in order to do so, you’ve just fucked it up for the person you’re reading. Not good. Do not attempt readings if you have triggers you have not worked on that are either a) going to cause you distress or b) do not allow you to be objective in the reading.

2. Second to this. Being objective in the reading: One of the messages I got last night mentioned that the person who was doing the reading was upset that the person in the reading was not listening to them. You cannot get your own feelings involved. You can merely understand. That’s it. if you are getting upset or feel queezy by what is happening, that is your own energy coming into the reading, and it is not permitted. Get out, shut it down, do not continue. That person does not need your added energy to take care of when they didn’t ask for it themselves, You are only there to observe unless you are doing a constellation in which you are there to guide, but even then you never get your own feelings on the situation involved.

Eg. In constellations, alot of the time we’re talking about sexual abuse or just straight up physical abuse. It does not help the client if you’re there getting your feelings on those things involved in the constellation and telling them that their father is an absolute shit and he deserves to die for what he did. They are trying to heal their past, that is not helping. You can get the child to say what they want to say eg. “What you did was wrong, it hurt me.” But that is only if they need to be guided to say it, they agree that that is what they want to say, or if they say it organically themselves, which we always try to get them to do first. and the most important thing

On this - you can’t say what is good or bad in a reading, it merely IS. The universe always knows what it’s doing, it is putting everyone through trials for them to grow. The very thing that you think is bad, may be the very thing that helps them grow into the best person they can be. You never tell someone what to do, you never force them on a different path if they have not accepted that. If they are on a current lesson, it is not up to you to force them off that lesson before they have learnt from it.

eg. (and this is NOT what I got at all in the reading, this is just an example) Lets say that Ale IS bad for SS, Lets say shes going to absolutely destroy him. Lets say you SEE that. You are not to do absolutely anything with that situation except accept and understand it with love unless that person has asked you to help them otherwise. You don’t tell them something they don’t already know, you don’t ask a question that says “Seb do you know that Ale is trying to sabotage you?” You don’t do shit. Seb would have been given that lesson in the form of Ale for a reason. Seb’s higher self before coming into this body would have asked for that lesson. You have absolutely 0 authority to tell him to do anything that would halt his learning of this lesson. Every person has the right to their own anatomy, it is your duty to have them keep that right.

Reiterating: If you cannot get out of your own feelings, thoughts and ego - do not do the reading. You need to practice this above all else - how to remain detached. There is no judgement when it comes to these. You enter with love,

3. Bringing love into the reading:

No one deserves a reading regardless of if it is a constellation or just an observation where you are bringing shitty energy with you. You come into the constellation/reading with love and understanding only. If the client doesn’t know what they’re doing, if they dont know how to feel, if they are making the wrong decisions, you understand. I understand how you feel. Do you want to move past it? No? I understand with love, lets move you where YOU want to go then. If they want to move past it that requires a constellation and I know none of you are trained in that DO NOT MOVE THEM. DO NOT TELL THEM HOW OR WHERE THEY SHOULD MOVE UNLESS YOU ARE A CERTIFIED FACILITATOR. No ands if or buts, you are not experienced. Do not move them. Observing the energy, following THEM, never changing the energy FOR them unless asked by them.

4. If the topic of grief comes up like that of Seb’s reading where they have fallen into a depression, you leave that reading. The only reason i continued was because whatever spirit it was that showed up felt like it came for a reason and made itself known to me in a way that couldn't be denied, and asked for assistance. And I knew how to deal with moving through grief. That barely ever happens, and the energy was good and true so i followed it (I was spooked initially i hate all things ghosts). I didnt offer anything up to Sebastian in that moment than for a way for him to connect with that grief and the person who had died. I could have left him there, but If i can help someone with that grief and the permission has been given, then I will do so. I didn’t do a huge constellation, just a mini one, just got him back in touch and feeling ok again, and he did. Those two had a chat with each other, there was no advice given, it was just one soul giving love to another soul and reminding them how loved they are. It wasnt me saying this to seb, it was me representing the soul who was saying it through me. Do you notice the difference? I’m telling you this only to know what happens, but do not do it yourself. Unless you are experienced with this, because they can also not find comfort in this, they can fall even further down the hole and then you’ve messed up that person. One more time: Don’t touch it, unless you can get them out of it. And you can’t get them out, unless you are experienced. Observe. Only.

5. It’s important to understand psychology before jumping into someone’s energy. Otherwise you’re understanding only the very basics of said person. There’s many underlying reasons as to why someone is the way that they are. Saying they’re a drug addict will help you very little, but understanding how that addiction came to be in the first place can help you understand and guide them.

Here are some tools to help understand (Reading these does not substitute practicing energy reading, these are only a tool to understand trauma, addiction, and psychology):

It Didn’t Start With You - Mark Wolynn

The Body Keeps Score - Bessel Van Der Kolk

When the Body says No - Gabor Mate

In the realm of Hungry Ghosts - Gabor Mate

If you can’t be bothered to read them (I would advise it if you are doing energy work), here are some of the best sections:

[Keep in mind when “Addiction” is referenced, it does not always mean drug or alcohol abuse, you can be addicted to anything, from being addicted to companionship, to being addicted to cleaning]

“Perhaps your mother carried a wound from her mother and was unable to give you what she didn’t get. Her parenting skills would be limited by what she did not receive from her parents.”

― Mark Wolynn,

It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

“Cutting off can make you feel free at first, but it’s the false freedom of a childhood defense. Ultimately, it will limit your life experience.”

― Mark Wolynn,

It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

When the family has been brought into its natural order, the individual can leave it behind him while still feeling the strength of his family supporting him. Only when the connection to his family is acknowledged, and the person's responsibility seen clearly and then distributed, can the individual feel unburdened and go about his personal affairs without anything from the past weighing him down or holding him back. - Bert Hellinger (Psychologist, created Family Constellations)

“It is impossible to understand addiction without asking what relief the addict finds, or hopes to find, in the drug or the addictive behaviour.”

― Gabor Mate,

In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction

“to suffer is alot easier than change. in order to be happy one needs to have courage.“ - Bert Hellinger

“Until we uncover the actual triggering event in our family history, we can relive fears and feelings that don’t belong to us—unconscious fragments of a trauma—and we will think they’re ours.”

― Mark Wolynn,

It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

“when a couple has children, parenting often consumes all the partners' energies and they have little time left over for their relationship with each other. But the love the parents have their children is nourished by the love in their relationship with each other and is a result of that love. Often, if the couple relationship is restored to first priority, the parenting improves aswell. Above all, children feel happy when they have the experience of having parents who love each other." - Bert Hellinger

“It’s important to restate: not all behaviors expressed by us actually originate from us. They can easily belong to family members who came before us. We can merely be carrying the feelings for them or sharing them. We call these “identification feelings.”

― Mark Wolynn,

It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

"You don't truly love someone until you love their fate, too." - Bert Hellinger

“Not every story has a happy ending, ... but the discoveries of science, the teachings of the heart, and the revelations of the soul all assure us that no human being is ever beyond redemption. The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists. How to support that possibility in others and in ourselves is the ultimate question.” ― Gabor Maté, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction “When an inner situation is not made conscious, it happens outside as fate. —Carl Jung, Aion: Researches into the Phenomenology of the Self” ― Mark Wolynn, It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

“The greatest damage done by neglect, trauma or emotional loss is not the immediate pain they inflict but the long-term distortions they induce in the way a developing child will continue to interpret the world and her situation in it. All too often these ill-conditioned implicit beliefs become self-fulfilling prophecies in our lives. We create meanings from our unconscious interpretation of early events, and then we forge our present experiences from the meaning we’ve created. Unwittingly, we write the story of our future from narratives based on the past...Mindful awareness can bring into consciousness those hidden, past-based perspectives so that they no longer frame our worldview.’Choice begins the moment you disidentify from the mind and its conditioned patterns, the moment you become present…Until you reach that point, you are unconscious.’ …In present awareness we are liberated from the past.” ― Gabor Maté, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction “Once key connections are made, and we practice focusing on our healing images and experiences, we lay the groundwork for new neural pathways. Healing can then be surprisingly efficient.” ― Mark Wolynn, It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

“Not why the addiction but why the pain.” ― Gabor Maté “When I am sharply judgmental of any other person, it's because I sense or see reflected in them some aspect of myself that I don't want to acknowledge.” ― Gabor Maté, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction

“If people are addicted to self-soothing behaviours, it's only because in their formative years they did not receive the soothing they needed. Such understanding helps delete toxic self-judgment on the past and supports responsibility for the now. Hence the need for compassionate self-inquiry.” ― Gabor Maté, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction

“Emotional competence requires the capacity to feel our emotions, so that we are aware when we are experiencing stress; the ability to express our emotions effectively and thereby to assert our needs and to maintain the integrity of our emotional boundaries; the facility to distinguish between psychological reactions that are pertinent to the present situation and those that represent residue from the past. What we want and demand from the world needs to conform to our present needs, not to unconscious, unsatisfied needs from childhood. If distinctions between past and present blur, we will perceive loss or the threat of loss where none exists; and the awareness of those genuine needs that do require satisfaction, rather than their repression for the sake of gaining the acceptance or approval of others. Stress occurs in the absence of these criteria, and it leads to the disruption of homeostasis.”

― Gabor Maté, When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress “All of the diagnoses that you deal with - depression, anxiety, ADHD, bipolar illness, post traumatic stress disorder, even psychosis, are significantly rooted in trauma. They are manifestations of trauma. Therefore the diagnoses don't explain anything. The problem in the medical world is that we diagnose somebody and we think that is the explanation. He's behaving that way because he is psychotic. She's behaving that way because she has ADHD. Nobody has ADHD, nobody has psychosis - these are processes within the individual. It's not a thing that you have. This is a process that expresses your life experience. It has meaning in every single case.” Vulnerability is our susceptibility to be wounded. This fragility is part of our nature and cannot be escaped. The best the brain can do is to shut down conscious awareness of it when pain becomes so vast or unbearable that it threatens our ability to function. The automatic repression of painful emotion is a helpful child's prime defence mechanism and can enable the child to endure trauma otherwise be catastrophic. The unfortunate consequence is a wholesale dulling of emotional awareness.” ― Gabor Maté, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction Here are also the QNA’s I have done that are in relation to how Energy works (This is not a replacement for actual practice, knowing this is NOT ENOUGH) I will continue to add to this with anything that I find would help. I’m hoping you guys take this seriously, and don’t attempt anything that could potentially harm yourself or others in a reading.

#QNA #FAQ

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yuvon-writes-letters · 3 years ago

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To, Yu

Okay, I was gone, and the moment I came back, i [The sentence randomly stops]

I’m, not upset at the fact you lied, i actually had an inkling for awhile now while you were describing the rooms for the first time, it looked like you wanted to continue, but stopped yourself at the last second. I understand why you lied, seeing all of those things must’ve been hard, but Lis and I can’t help you if we don’t know anything, ok Yu?

It sounds like, you found ways out, but both are, not good for you? I don’t know, my brain’s all fuzzy and I can’t comprehend words right, maybe I’m getting something wrong.

My point is, when you build up the guts to, please please please explain to us, or at least me, on what’s in that North room, I don’t care if it’s bad we need to know everything we can about the realm so [The sentence stops again]

Sorry, I’m just, kind of on the edge. Of course you don’t have to tell me now, but

If, it’s not intruding on personal space, what the hell happened between you and Jake? I’m assuming that Jake lied about something, but I don’t think we would do any good if there’s bad blood between the two of you. I sent my Jake the letters too, and he agrees as well.

We’re both worried about you, so, don’t hide anything, alright? [The rest of the text is blacked out]

Rai and Jake

|Hello, real person behind Rai here, I wanted to clarify some things because I don’t think I made it clear before (I’m sorry about that). Rai is a complete OC, their not a self-insert at all, and they have their own life completely separate from mine. Although it is true that I’ll be busy on July and won’t write letters frequently, I wanted to give an in-character Roleplay reason as to why Rai is not as active as the first few letters, hence the panicking at the last letter.

I, the real person, am completely alright, Rai, is not, not at all :)|

Rai,

Thanks for understanding. I'll try to hide as little as I can from now on.

What I think are the two ways out are sitting still and looking pretty, which I despise the concept of, and killing the MWAF by paying an even price, which I hate the idea of even more. (Blacked out) I checked out the altar room a little more, and the phrase "An eye for an eye" (or something approximate because Google Translate) was on the back of the altar in Greek. Jake helped me translate it before we argued.

Mixing mythologies yet again. So far we've got Egyptian, Greek, and... Biblical? I think that's from the Bible. Sue me, it's been a while since I took World Religions.

Actually... no. I guess it hasn't. It just feels longer than it actually was.

I'll try to be a little more specific about what's in the north room. It's not... quite as bad as I made it out to be before, but I was already freaking out and in a bad headspace from remembering the freaky stuff, and I blew it a little out of proportion. I'm not sure how I'd even explain what it really is, though.

It's something similar to a hologram, transparent enough that you can see the trees through it. There's some text in white that doesn't seem to be addressed to me, implying that I'm stuck between the end of something and the beginning of another. Then there are a couple bars— five, to be exact —and two of them are filling with orange very slowly. The others are untouched so far. It's implied I'll be out of this place when all the bars fill up to full. I'm not sure this text was necessarily written by the entity, though. If it was, I think it'd address me a little more directly.

I don't think the argument Jake and I had is necessarily all that useful to the investigation, but since I'm trying to not keep secrets anymore, I'll say it regardless. The cause is tangentially related to the case, anyhow.

I asked him a little while ago whether he could find out if there was a missing person's out for me or not, so we could figure out the extent of the stasis. Then drama happened and I completely forgot all about it until two days ago. I asked him again then, and he sort of acted a little cagey while telling me that he was still in the process of investigating, and told me to wait another day. So I did. I don't think he expected me to remember, since I forget things all the time, but I don't forget things I'm really invested in and I REALLY wanted to know the answer to that question.

Jake made an excuse and went offline when I tried to ask again, which sort of made me think the worst. In hindsight, thinking that anyone who could've reported me missing was dead was pretty stupid, but you try being rational in the face of an unknown like that. In any case, I got anxious, and that sort of blew everything out of proportion, and then that made me more and more upset, and given all the other bullshit inherent in this place and the stress I've been through lately I just completely broke down. Had to sit down and put my head down so I was less likely to pass out from my hyperventilating. Luckily, I knew what was going on and I know breathing exercises, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

In any case, when I was back to being semi-functional, I unlocked my phone again, meaning to close out of the chat, but apparently my last few texts before I had to stop had managed to get across to Jake at least a portion of how freaked out I was. He probably figured it out based on all the typoes and the lack of punctuation or something, his "flaw" (if you can call it that) only seems to make him oblivious to tone and not to outright out of character writing styles.

So he finally told me that there wasn't a missing person's out for me, and not only that but everyone who might have put one out pretty much forgot I existed. He got my fucking parents to answer a "survey," and they only filled out that my half-sister existed, not me. Legal documents and stuff were still all in order, but literally the only people who seem to remember I fucking exist are the Duskwood crew and you and Lis and he had the nerve to tell me that he didnt want to tell me because it wasnt essential information and it would affect my judgement

Back now. I screamed abuse into the woods for a couple minutes, so I feel a bit better now.

I can see his point, logically, but for fuck's sake, there are some things that don't have much to do with the case that I do need to know regardless. This is one.

I'm not going to cut contact with him forever. To put it callously, neither of us can afford that. But if I talk to him now, I'm going to end up saying something or other I'll regret.

Right. Other topics.

Rai, are you doing alright? I know you've got personal issues going on, and I'm not trying to pry into them, but your writing is sort of disjointed and you mentioned being "fuzzy" and "not comprehending words right". Are you getting enough to drink and to sleep? I know weird shit happens to me when I get dehydrated. If you ever feel like you're about to pass out, sit down and put your head between your knees. If this continues, maybe you should see a doctor. Do you feel like your head is stuffed with cotton balls, at all? Any other symptoms?

Feel better :(

—Yu

(The letter tucks itself into the paper clip with the others.)

#congrats rai you have unlocked mom friend mode #duskwood letter game #yuvon writes letters #duskwood #duskwood game #duskwood everbyte #tw: mental illness #tw: panic attack #both only mentioned/implied but still

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chikkou · 4 years ago

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I'd ask this on your Lisa sideblog but you don't have anon on and I'm shy lol, but do you have any headcanons relating to Lisa the First? Like Lisa's views on religion, her relationship with her mother, if any of the various worlds we see mean anything?

hoh man i didnt even know anon wasnt on LMAO... ill turn it on after i post this!

also fuck YEAH i do holy shit i fucking LOVE lisa the first!! i know its sort of the black sheep of the lisa series, since it is a completely different type of game and was clearly austins first game, but i fucking ADORE it dude. the music - which he made ENTIRELY IN THE FREE TRIAL OF FL STUDIO BY THE WAY - is FANTASTIC, the art direction is actually pretty fucking incredible for an rpgmaker game that uses a good deal of basic assets, and the gameplay.... ok yeah that part is a bit lacking but its a yume nikki-style game be nice it was his first time LMAO

ANYWAY back to ur question. first and foremost, i think this is not even a headcanon so much as straight up canon, but lisa DESPISES christianity. marty is christian, probably catholic given the golden crosses everywhere, and he is a fucking scumbag hypocrite. lisa likely associates all of christianity with this line of thinking, as there is one room in the bile area where the melted martys (although i suppose we can just call them joy mutants now LMAO) simply stand in a circle surrounding one big cross. the role of the melted martys is up for interpretation of course, as is everything, but after playing the painful and seeing them described as “mindless sheep,” i think this is how lisa viewed them. so they likely represent other people that, to lisa, are probably just as sick and disgusting as marty

lisas relationship with her mother... i go back and forth on this one a lot. i can never decide if i prefer the headcanon that lisas mom died in childbirth, and so lisa never met her, or if i prefer that lisas mom was around for a very short time and then either left or died. the fact that she says “i didnt want to leave” at the end of the first leads me to believe that she most likely died. in either case, the memory of her mother was clearly important to lisa, as she wears her pendant through the entire game and its explicitly noted as being a gift from her. in either case, i think that the death/absence of the mother is heavily implied to be the primary cause behind martys descent into alcoholism and lisas abuse, since the white room strongly implies that marty did at one time sincerely love and care for her as a father properly should

as for the meaning of each of the rooms, i think most of them are fairly self explanatory, but some of them are a bit more vague, so ill break it down in terms of how i see it (and ill put them under the cut because its long as hell):

martys house - this is the most literal one. pretty self-explanatory. the dark, yet vibrant colors and the ear-bleedingly loud tv are pure sensory overload, something lisa probably deals with on a regular basis. when lisa goes outside and it turns into a sky of marty faces, i think this is the transition into the psychological part of the game

the lobby - this is honestly just pure yume nikki ripoff LMAO... but if i had to ascribe a symbolic meaning to it, i think its probably a quiet and safe area for lisa to retreat to in her mind when she needs it, but even that eventually gets sullied as tricky rick makes his way there, too (and tells her hes “just waiting” when she talks to him). the majority of gameplay is lisa searching for items with which to kill tricky rick, who always abuses and disparages her whenever she talks to him, telling her she’ll never forget. as for the reason why... well, take one look at him and its pretty clear whats going on there. (the name is also a reference to richard nixon, whose nickname was... well, you can figure it out!)

the town - the bar area is 100% my favorite from this world; lisa clearly hates alcohol and anyone who drinks it, associating them all with marty, and that music... all i can say is YUCK. the entire section also consists of lisa having to give up something in exchange for what she needs to move on, and usually getting the raw end of the deal out of it (she gives one marty a banana, he gives her a banana peel in return). she does all that while avoiding a marty following her outside who repeatedly tells her “you cant escape,” and upon reaching tricky rick (who is atop a narrow, columnar, PINK mountain), it becomes pretty clear whats happening to her.

the sea room - fucking marty spiders man. im assuming they represent the sickly feeling of crawling skin she gets when she looks at him or is anywhere near him, but holy GOD they are annoying to deal with. she kills tricky rick with pills here - we dont know what kind of pills these are, but i interpret them as sleeping pills, and given the rumbling music and the rapid cycling marty background, i wonder if he forced her to take these. marty is everywhere here, but the only one she can speak to is seen chilling on a raft of some kind. marty likely spent much of his time recreationally, i.e. drinking, so it makes sense why this would be here

the rope room - theres no symbolism here this is just pure comedy (LMAO). if i HAD to assign some meaning to this area, it would be that lisa likely is so despondent at this point that putting in effort to do anything feels utterly pointless, much like climbing this long-ass rope was

the white room - as i mentioned earlier, i personally believe that this area depicts the previous relationship between marty and lisa (and also has one of my favorite songs in the game). he is shown doing traditional fatherly things - he is no longer wearing sunglasses and is wearing a suit, meaning he was likely employed, and is actually smiling. he also spends time with her in a completely platonic, familial way. when she interacts with him, there is a little heart over his head. after lisa walks through the golden statues (which will reappear later), the entire world becomes filled with bile, and martys appearance returns to that of the other martys, but with an extremely warped, grotesque face. the item she needs in this area to kill tricky rick is found between two golden crosses.

notice that all of the items she kills tricky rick with - a razor, pills, and now a plastic bag - are things that a child could plausibly get their hands on; none of them are explicitly weapons. i think this shows both her age and how often she must have considered using those things against him.

the bile room - probably my favorite area in the game, and also features what i consider the quintessential lisa song. this area really drives home lisas disgust with marty and with christianity as a whole - it almost certainly has the highest concentration of crosses, and it is also quite literally covered in wall-to-wall bile, dirty water, and disgusting houses. a lot of the most graphic sights, like the melting martys and the pond martys (no idea what to call them LMAO) are here, so i think this is pretty much the lowest circle of hell for lisa. marty gives lisa a freshly cut finger in exchange for a napkin here; im not necessarily sure what that represents, but i think the napkin was used by marty to masturbate (as he says “i needed that” after he takes it), so perhaps the finger is martys?

lisa kills tricky rick here in a cave that is not-so-subtly shaped like a penis, and gets a vhs tape in which he pretty explicitly states what is going on in the game; he even pretends like he doesnt know who lisa is at first, which somehow makes it even more disgusting. the fact that vhs tapes play a role here sort of makes me wonder if marty really WAS filming some of what he was doing, and given that lisa the joyful confirms that brad was forced to somehow participate in lisas abuse, that is.... horrific to think about, honestly

the marty tape - this tape just has the player (as marty) walk up to lisa and suited marty, who are having a tea party with a plastic tea set. they both get hearts over their heads if you talk to them. i think this drives home that he and lisa did once have a normal relationship, and perhaps theres some part of marty who misses that? theres a LOT of ways you can interpret this; having the player become marty really calls a lot into question.

the mansion - the room leading here has a marty staring directly at the player who informs lisa that she needs a sword to progress. unsubtly, the sword must be placed into the crotch of a womans statue. the mansion inside is beautiful and ornate, and easily the most gorgeous area in the game - and it all leads to what appears to be a proto-joy mutant marty, sort of looking like jabba the hutt. i dont doubt that this is intentional, given that jabba the hutt is associated with slave leia, and its not at all a far leap to call lisa martys slave. the golden statues of women, as well as many golden crosses, are everywhere in this area. its actually quite a large space with a lot of thought put into it, so im really upset that i cant figure out more of what it represents LMAO

the final area - lisa seems to go back to her actual house, but upon leaving her room and entering whether the living room would be, the whole area changes. she encounters herself in a blood red room, but when she talks to the other lisa, she turns into marty. i think this represents a clear question - who is lisa without him? IS she anyone? or is she just a vessel for him to do with what he pleases? she encounters a naked marty telling her to give up shortly after, and flees from him, but is followed by voices repeatedly telling her that she must accept her fate. i think this clearly show the mental state of lisas last days. she was tormented, eternally. she truly felt there was no escape from marty. even the background becomes nothing but martys face, over and over again, as the end screen flashes.

at the end text, she finds a video tape, and in the tape sees someone who is ostensibly her mother from behind. she apologizes for not being there for her, but when that figure turns out, its martys face that she sees. the sky turns into marty. the music becomes corrupted and overrun with pretty fucked up laughter. she tries to run, but marty is already everywhere. theres nowhere for her to run. and then the game is over.

note that the video tape comes AFTER the games end screen, which stops not long after the appearance of the naked marty. so i personally believe that the “game over” represents her deciding to take her own life, rather than just give up and accept her fate. by running from him into the blackness, she got away from marty the only way she could have. it is sad and horrible, but that is honestly the best ending that she could have gotten in this game.

the first is definitely not as good as the painful in terms of gameplay, that much i can agree on, but i really think people miss out on a lot by not playing it. i think its really crucial to see lisas life from her own perspective before you can see it from brads - after all, brad may have known more than anyone else about what was going on, but he did not experience it like lisa did. for brad, lisa is a symbol of his own regrets and failures, but lisa was a PERSON (well, in-universe anyway LMAO). she suffered on her own, with pretty much no one to help her, and then she suffered so much that she couldnt take another second of it.

#anya's anons #long post #lisa the first #ok NOW im gonna open my anons on my sideblog LMAO #i got wayyyy too into this #and i had to put it under the cut bc its really hard to not be graphic about the first given the subject matter #rape mention #abuse mention #lisa

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the-gay-cryptid · 5 years ago

Text

Okay, I'm super pissed right now and I dont want to bother my friends with this, theyve got shit of their own, I just need to get the angry out of my system.

I want to shave my head. I want to because it would give me a feeling of control and it's the much safer, less permanent, and less painful of my three options: shave head, get piercing, get tattoo. Since whatever I picked would be self done, I naturally went with shaving my head.

I'm no fucking idiot though, I've done my research. I know that, because of my hair type and my own preferences, I dont want it too short. I would first get a #8 attachment, which it the longest you can get. That's what I would use. I looked up a video of someone comparing the lengths of each attachment when actually used on hair, so I have a better idea of what it would actually look like since I'm not good at visualizing lengths.

I was going to tell my mom all this, show her that this isnt a sudden decision, and that I've actually done research and know what to do/expect. It was still entirely possible she'd say no, but this approach was my best chance to convince her.

I told me dad this morning, "I want to shave my head. I think I'd have to order attachments since your clippers are too short, but its definitely doable." I said it this way because I've never had to prove to my dad that I know what I'm doing, like I'm writing a damn research paper.

He wasnt a fan, because he thinks I'll look like a man. He doesnt want me to look too masculine. That's a problem to revisit at a later time. I pointed out that I already look like a boy when I wear hats, my hair grows out fast, and that how he wants me to look isnt my problem. He conceded to all three points, though he still wasnt a fan. He wouldnt stop me, but we both knew I had to convince mom before I even picked up the clippers.

Mom came in, and we said good morning and so on. Then Dad says "she wants to shave her head." Which was the absolute worst possible way to introduce that to my mother.

To her credit, she handled it well. She said she didnt think it would suit my head shape, but if I wanted to I couldn't but if I did it she wasnt going to pay for my hair appointments anymore, even if I grew my hair out again. I wouldnt really mind paying for my own cuts and colors, it's just that it's kinda expensive and I have 10$ and no income until August assuming we're back on campus next semester. I figured I'd think about it.

I took a shower, did makeup, and finished making some earrings I started last night. Then I went to show my parents, because i was proud and I thought they looked cool.

Dad loved them, mom definitely thought they were tacky, but I'm used to that and she's given up trying to convince me that tacky jewelry is bad.

She was making a face that screamed "not a fan", and I asked her why she was making said face. I expected a comment about how people would judge me, and I was totally emotionally prepared for that and ready to let it roll off. But instead, she says

"This doesn't seem like a good use of your time. I just dont feel like enough work is getting done"

I dont know if any of you know this about me, but I'm very sensitive about my work ethic. I've had problems in the past, but I've worked fucking hard to learn the self discipline and time management I have today. It's not perfect, but I'm better than I was. So when people imply that I'm not doing enough, or I'm lazy, or that I'm wasting my time instead of working, I take it a little harder than most.

I didnt linger, because it wouldnt help anyone. I just left and waited in the kitchen to vent to my dad.

"I just wanted to show her something cool." I said. I kept my voice low, because mom has a habit of walking in when I'm venting about her and then getting overly offended and turning it into me being disrespectful. "And she just ignored it-" at which point my dad cut me off. He doesnt like when I complain about mom. He doesnt like the confrontation that occurs if she over hears, and he doesnt like seeing her upset that her kid is implying shes a bad mom. She isnt, but she's not perfect, and as a grown ass woman who lectures me about the same flaw, she should be able to take criticism.

I'm still a bit pissed, so I just grabbed my laptop and went upstairs to do schoolwork. I dont have much to do, since, contrary to my mother's suggestion, I'm very on top of my work, and even ahead on some of it.

Just now, I went down stairs to take a break and grab my house shoes. I talked to my dad a little bit about some netflix shows. Then, because I thought maybe I could sway him a little, I showed him the video of someone comparing all the attachments and how short they actually cut.

I also pointed out that mom wouldve reacted better if hed let me explain what I wanted. He disagreed, so I told him how I'd present the idea:

"I have something I want to do, and I've done a lot of research, so I understand what to do, what I'd need, and how to do it the way I have in mind. I'd like to shave my head, not super short though. I'd use the longest attachment..." et cetera, et cetera.

Basically I'd just prove to her this wasnt decided on a whim. And then I'd ask her opinion. She'd hate it, but at least she'd probably consider it. Even Dad admitted it might have worked.

I started telling him why I wanted to do it, the whole needing to feel in control thing. But he was putting away clothes and heading his and Moms room, and if mom heard me talking through all this she'd get mad and double down on the "fuck no" stance. So I dropped it for now.

But then my dad thought hed be real fucking funny. I was standing in the bathroom with him, and he turned on his clippers and started to reach for my hair. I grabbed his arm to stop him. I knew he was joking, it was just my knee jerk reaction since his clippers have NO attachment and would actually buzz my head completely.

He then said, very smugly, that that's the reaction of someone who doesn't actually want to shave their head. I told him that wasnt funny, and started to explain that I stopped him because it wouldve been the wrong length.

But mom, being in the bedroom right fucking next to us, got PISSED. She then informed us, mainly me, that I wasnt allowed to shave my head, and that she'd be so furious if I did it. And now i was mad with both of my parents.

Since I couldnt be delicate about it anymore, I told her point blank the whole conversation this morning wouldve gone better if dad hadnt said anything, and that I was going to actually explain myself before telling her I wanted to shave my head.

She listened to my whole explanation. I'll give her that. But when I finished, she just hummed and went back to her work. Which is mom for "fuck no, and this is a stupid idea."

As all conversations with my mother inevitably go, I went to the kitchen to talk to dad. I told him he shouldnt have done any of that, and that now, because of him goofing off, mom wasnt taking anything of said seriously.

He told me he was sorry he did that, but that he didn't want me to do it anyway. I reminded him, in far less polite terms than usual, that I dont care what he thinks and that it's my hair and my choice.

He agreed and apologized again, still just as insincere.

Since I didnt have the patience or calmness to try and talk about it further, I went back upstairs. I heard him calling me a little bit ago, probably to talk again, but I'm still fucking angry.

Because of him not only taking away my ability to bring this up with my mom on my own terms, and then ruining any chances of her taking me seriously, theres no way in hell I'm going to be able to do what I wanted. I know shaving my head isnt that big of a deal, but the amount of bullshit its brought out of them both is infuriating.

If he'd just kept his fucking mouth shut this morning, all this could've gone so much better.

#im just mad #and i dont want to bother my froends #and i cant vent to my parents for obvious reasons #and my brother's at work #so its all fucking pent up with nowhere to go #so im putting it here #my post #ranting #venting

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docmurph12 · 4 years ago

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Ok review time. And remember, there is no war in Ba Sing Se.

My next request comes from my very good friend. The last time he and I sat down and tried to watch this was after we cleared through every episode of the animated series this movie was based on. We didnt get through ten minutes. So this was a fun, frustrating challenge. For those noticing, yes this is a retroactive review, instead of a "live" one. Reason for this is that as a fan it would be really difficult to be as objective as possible (given I already know this thing to be really bad) if I was distracted.

So what I know going in is that Shyamalan had a couple big flops and that he picked out this series to be his resurrection, thinking going the large scale epic route would be beneficial to his career. What happened was a ruthlessly infamous flop that resulted in nearly 6 years of silence, jokes, and memes prior to "Split" bringing Shyamalan back to relevance again.

First of all, this film could literally have been directed by anyone. Looking back at my review for Aladdin, I recall saying that I was shocked to find out it was directed by Guy Richey, because all of his hallmark signatures were missing. Same story here; The Last Airbender feels like a basic level cookie cutter epic filmmaking school project. Everything that makes a Shyamalan film is gone, which is crazy because the levity that makes ATLA (the acronym I'll use for the show going forward) is gone too. I have always said that as a director your job is to take what is written (which in this case was written by Shyamalan as well) and use your style to create a visual aspect that compliments the story told by the dialogue and events. Think of this writer/director relationship like one in comics between the writer and the artist. The artist is selected because stylistically he matches what is needed for the story. Great example of a good match is Sin City (picked because of loudness of its specific style). That story doesnt get told the same way or with the same impact with different color palettes, camera work, or actor direction. The Last Airbender is missing everything that gives a person a reason to select a specific director, especially one known for work in small scale supernatural thrillers.

The writing is.....super bad. There are a couple simple tools I like to use to identify if a film has scripting issues as opposed to anything else. First, is the dialogue done in a way that feels contextually natural? Do real people talk this way or is it written like shlockey, overly dramatic stage dialogue (think the Star Wars prequel trilogy)? Second, how easy is the story to follow? Are there gaping plot holes? Is it subtle with a good surprise? Does it hit you in the face with a story shovel with a handle made of heavy handed expositional dialogue?

Lastly, how hard are the actors trying to act around your script? Is it a good film where great performances outweigh poor to middling dialogue (Batman V Superman), or is it Bloodrayne? I've said enough on that, you get the point. That said, I am not sure the actors could have been saved by a better script. The cast was very poorly selected. Insensitive at worst (though I genuinely think the brown dude that insisted on the specific and coincidentally white folk he picked probably DIDN'T have a whitewashing agenda given what he said prior to release), out of touch with the source material at best, picking the virtual unknowns that he did really didnt pan out for him. The kid cast as Aang (pronounced AAng, goddamnit, not ONG, more on that later) got the role because he looks like the character, kind of, and only had a week of acting school worth of experience prior to filming the movie. Let's just say it definitely showed.

I am not sure TOTALLY crucifying the cast is entirely fair, so let's move the witch hunt to almost everything else. There is some good though, I promise so hang in there.

I really hope the editor got sent back to school. The purpose of editing is to make a cut that not only maintains but heightens interest in what you are watching. Cutting the fat in order to get to the point while not giving the movie away. Sometimes that means giving more than a 90 minute cut (which Shyamalan has taken at least partial responsibility for in this case) in order to preserve the story. There are scenes where the continuity from one cut to the next doesnt match up. Like consecutive cuts in one scene with massive distances traveled between cuts and even in at least one case a partial or complete costume change. It's extremely jarring. Something else about cuts--generally you cut to another angle or scene because the film requires you to in order to display more information that you wouldn't get in one single long cut. Usually a film has choppy cuts in it because the scene requires an character to do something the actor can't, or because the director or editor are bad at their job. The story, or sometimes in lucky cases just one scene, suffers as a result of bad or needless cuts. This is the case here. The strange thing is there are truly WONDERFUL long cuts of fight scenes that really suck you in, but the wierd juxtaposition between great non-editing and strange and bad editing really kicks you in the head. Enough on that. On to the next.

I did NOT see this movie in 3d. I understand that the conversion was really bad, but that said what I CAN speak to is the VFX. This film, with the exception of the lighting, was pretty well put together in terms of effects. There were really only a couple issues that were glaring in terms of VFX, but by and large it wasnt awful. There are definitely newer films that look worse. In standard. I dont know about 3d.

I think the thing that makes this film more frustrating than anything is that there are things about this movie I love. They are few and far between, but I really do love them. The intro was a really neat callback to the series intro to each episode. Then the movie happens. Then, the flying bison appears!! Then more movie. Then, a scene where Aang (not Awng) uses the glider in his staff. Then more movie. Then, all the practical martial arts, then, yet more movie. It's like this the entire way. Best comparison here? Green Lantern. It's like the Shyamalan said, "Hey, I like this and need a career boost.", then proceeded to cherry pick things from a beloved series and then ham and egged a movie with a confusing plot that absolutely requires you to be super familiar with the source material. There are a lot of assumptions made by characters in the movie that made sense given background provided by the show, but make absolutely none if you are going in blind. "Those are air bending tattoos, and I think he might be the avatar, despite he fact that I havent seen him bend anything and airbenders havent even been seen in over 100 years! Before my time!" Fucking come on. Throw the newcomers here a bone man.

The long story short here is I guess in spite of the casting decisions, editing, and direction, a good script could have made at least a fun movie. This movie should not have made it past script in the form we all saw it though, and it makes one wonder how much pressure was on everyone involved (almost all of it internally applied, Shyamalan did this project almost entirely on his own volition and cast a bunch of almost unknowns with the exception of maybe Cliff Curtis, so of course they said yes) to join in and take part in this without asking questions. Its upsetting to know the original showrunners were as ostracized as they were on this thing.

I dont see myself going back. Yes there were things that made me smile a little, but the film as a whole is so overwhelmingly bad in the face of those things it is just not worth it. I AM however going to go and rewatch the series with my wife and the kids for their first time, and maybe as a result of having to sit through this war crime of a film adaptation.

Final Verdict? I give it a D-. Purely out of respect for the very small handful of things I did appreciate. Next up?? The Lobster. Really looking forward to that one.

#the last airbender #atla #avatar the last airbender #movies #review #film #filmmaking

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sarinataylor · 6 years ago

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Reverse blind date Joger where someone deliberately stands Roger up to teach him a lesson because he is such a player and John watching from the bar realises he is upset

oooooh ok. ok. ok

so roger is like. he’s got a rep around campus? it’s not necessarily a bad one per say, but. he’s pretty and he’s confident and yeah, he dates a lot. bc roger is a secret romantic tbh ok

not like freddie’s a romantic though. like freddie wants to fall in love and then never ever ever break up with the person he falls in love with because he wants to buy a house and forty cats with them. like freddie genuinely believes he’s incomplete without someone to love and be loved by in return which roger thinks is Super Unhealthy

so roger’s not romantic like that. roger just…. enjoys the excitement of first date? getting to know someone, letting them get to know you, enjoying those first flushes of could-be-love. roger even somewhat likes when things start to fall apart bc there’s beauty in that too. there’s something beautiful in being able to recognise that you’re not right for another.

so he dates a lot. which, again, isn’t a bad thing. he doesn’t date for the sake of dating? he just. if there’s someone he finds interesting or attractive or funny? he’ll ask them out.

(this is how he met brian who awkwardly agreed and then blurted out half way through dinner that he was straight, he just didn’t know how to say no. they stay for the whole meal and end up somehow being like… best friends by the end of it.)

(a lot of roger’s friends are people he’s dated in the past, actually)

but yanno for every sort of ex that you’re on good terms with there’s gonna be someone you’re. decidedly not. and ok, rog will be the first? (maybe second actually, freddie will generally be the first) to admit that he’s sometimes not the most….. tactful at breaking off some of the more casual dating he does

like he doesnt ghost on actual relationships but there’s…. there’s definitely some ghosting that’s gone down in the past. some very early cases where he wasnt very clear on the non-exclusive nature of the dating???

he was young(er) and stupid okay he has like. a comprehensive set of rules now (a. establish that dates are not exclusive unless explicitly discussed, as all major relationship developments should be. b. no fucking the people you date unless you’re interested in an Actual Relationship bc it blurs lines!!!!! it confuses ppl!!!!!! c. if someone has a rep as a clinger listen to that reputation instead of their insightful analysis in class. the reputation precedes interesting dinner conversation. every. time.)

(brian is like???? have u heard YOUR reputation???? and roger is like well yeah but. no one calls me clingy, do they? which brian has to concede that, no, they decidedly do not.)

BUT the important thing to note here is that roger dates a lot of people because he genuinely enjoys dating people, he enjoys getting to know people. he asks out people who he finds interesting for some reason or another. he’s not offended when people say no, like. that’s fine.

but yeah. he gets stood up.

which? it’s like. the first time it’s ever happened. and it’s embarrassing. like, if they weren’t interested he would have preferred they just said. but it’s fine? like. he’ll just. eat on his own. that’s fine, he’s not too bothered though he does wish that they’d like. messaged him to let him know they were standing him up so he could have ordered earlier instead of waiting half an hour

but then they Do message him. a catty message along the lines of “now you know how it feels to be let down. maybe you’ll think before you do it to someone else again” and That upsets him because… he’s never stood anyone up???? would never intentionally leave someone waiting????? and he’s Grown Up since his first year of uni where he ghosted people like. he’s really upfront nowadays but he just sort of. starts spiralling a little bit sat at the table gulping down red wine like???? fuck???????

a fun mix of anger that this was clearly something this person PLANNED and also anxiety that maybe he’s been doing this to people this whole time and he just never noticed???? he’s an Awful Person and he just. didn’t know.

(which like. the sheer amount of his ex-dates, ex-fucks, and straight up exes that are still friends with him sort of implies that this is not the case? one of his exes is getting married in six months and he’s one of the groomsmen somehow like.)

and JOHN is sitting at the bar. like he’s waiting for his roommate to finish her shift so they can head home together but her shift’s been extended so he’s just. hanging out. eating complimentary bar nuts and being slipped sneaky beers by the on floor manager. and he’d noticed roger walk in, roger had ta’d one of his classes a year or so back and he knows his rep, and he’d sort of been looking forward to watching The Master At Work

like. he was gonna take notes so that he and ronnie (roommate, obvs) could laugh about it when they got home

(roger totally asked ronnie out once. she didn’t even answer, just walked away. she was annoyed at how charming the sound of him laughing as she did so was. she sort of hates him that “he’s never done anything to me and everyone i know who knows him says he’s a nice bloke BUT I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT” kind of way)

but uh. yeah. he’s been stood up.

and john’s like….. damn. like, he wouldn’t even stand roger taylor up. he’s always been kind of glad that roger’s never asked him out, and never will bc…. he’s p boring and not like ronnie or brian or anyone else roger’s dated, bc he knows he’d say yes and then ronnie would never let him live it down. not ever.

and like he seems to be rolling with it? he orders himself a bottle of wine and an appetiser which has john like Damn the man be RICH

(the man be decidedly NOT rich and is definitely not going to be able to pay for the bus for the next week now he’s spending his “extra” money on bottles of wine rather than the glass or two he had planned to buy. but whatever, he can walk it. not to mention splurging on the bread platter instead of the bruschetta. he’s been stood up, okay??? if there was ever a time to eat All Of The Carbs and wash it down with two bottles of wine, this would be it)

and then after like one glass? of wine? he just seems to sort of curl in on himself???? and he seems genuinely upset???? like he’s tapping sort of frantically on his phone and he didnt even say thank you to the waiter who brought over his Bread Palooza and john doesnt know him well but. he never seemed the kind of guy who wouldnt thank wait staff okay?????

and before he can even stop himself he’s trailing over there, bar nuts in hand, and awkwardly standing next to the table silently.

and roger is like distractedly not even looking up from stuffing bread into his mouth and texting freddie who isn’t responding which means, he guesses, that he didn’t get stood up on his date tonight. bully for him. so roger’s like yeah thanks mate not ready to order my main yet.

and john’s like…. uh. ok. and just thrusts the bar nuts he’s had in his hand for like. ten minutes under his nose like you look sad, do you want a nut?

and roger looks up and just sort of blinks at him for a long moment before bursting out laughing like yes yes i would like a nut, thanks, john

which has john flustered bc a) he’s a MORON oh my god “do you want a nut”??????? what is he????? he wants to DIE and also b) roger. remembers his name?????????

so john stammers out an apology, explains he’s waiting for ronnie (”ronnie…. oh, uh, you probably don’t remember who she is, she’s-” – “your roommate, right? i forgot she was a waitress here, actually. how is she?” – “….. she’s good. sorry, how do you know she’s my roommate?”)

which leads to roger inviting him to sit down as a family of four tries to move past him, but can’t because he’s making a bottleneck in the aisle

so john. sits. bar nuts still in hand.

(knees weak, hands sweaty, restaurant’s bar nuts. would the real slim shady please stand up?)

and roger’s just hella casual like “yeah just got stood up bc im an awful person, how u been”

and john’s like uh technically i asked for none of that information

and the waiter comes and interrupts as roger sort of just blinks at him bc john is Not The Best at unplanned social interaction. like john approached him??? but ok. and the waiter is like um? hi john? given up on waiting for ronnie to finish?

as roger slam dunks his last glass of wine

and john is sort of like ohw ell. this guy used to be my ta and he looked sad because he’s been stood u- oh my god, im so sorry

and roger is just. you know what? this has been fun. i’ve really enjoyed the multiple levels of abject humiliation that i have endured tonight but i think i’m going to cut it short and just chucks thirty quid on the table like thanks (to the waiter) and good luck with the, uh, engineering? degree, i think? (to john)

who is bewildered bc how the fuck does he remember what degree im doing from the round of fucking ice breakers we did in the first tutorial of a class i took LAST YEAR

(roger’s party trick is remembering like. everything about ppl. you know in that way that really popular people have where somehow they can remember that your second cousin twice removed got married three years back, despite not seeing you since a month before the wedding, and they’re asking how it was using the NAMES of the bride and groom (who. they’ve never met) and you’re like??????? i fuckin forgot the grooms name what the FUCK. i hate these people with a passion. nice people? the worst. john feels much the same as i do)

and before he can even say anything roger has just…. slunk off into the night. leaving him with the waiter who is quite happy about the ten pound tip, and a hand full of bar nuts.

anyway roger goes home to cry at brian who is like. ur not a bad person, people just….. come to conclusions about ur behaviour based on the exaggerated experiences of others. but u also WERE sort of a dick when u were 18, but so is…. like every 18 year old so i honestly just wouldn’t torture myself ab it so neither should u

(a boldfaced LIE. this conversation leads brian to spend the entire night staring at his ceiling and reliving that one time he forgot to say thanks to the bus driver when he was 16. the bus driver hates him, he knows. also he used to have super unacknowledged misogynistic and racist unconscious biases that had been pounded into him by society and he’s still trying to rectify that and????? oh GOD)

and the next day, after he’s been convinced that he’s not the scum of the earth by brian, he rocks up outside of john’s class (which he abuses his access to the university database for the first and last time to find – he also tells john he did this immediately bc he’s like SO I PROBABLY CROSSED A BOUNDARY BUT IT WAS THIS OR STALK RONNIE AT WORK UNTIL SHE GAVE IN AND I THINK THAT WOMAN HATES ME i see her glaring all the time and idk why) and totally asks him out because…. well, he was interesting, wasn’t he?

#Anonymous #this is LONG #joger hc's #headcanon asks

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spootiliousrps · 5 years ago

Text

Suspicious Nature Part 7

[Beginning] // [Previous] // [Next]

“Practice.” Eve said softly. “Everyone starts off where you are now. So don’t worry, we’ll get there.” She said softly.

"By Sunday?" Cas asked, obviously doubtful.

“We’ll get there.” Eve encouraged. “If you can learn to fight, then you can learn to walk.” She smiled.

Cas squinted at her still not on the same page. "Doubtful. At least with fighting you have to have a strong stance... this is... this like walking a tightrope with strong wind." He huffed before chuckling. "I'll make you a deal... If I learn to walk in these by Sunday, you let me teach you how to fight." He offered playfully.

Eve’s eyes grew wide. “I’m too old, and too much of an Omega to ever contemplate it.” She whispered.

That made Cas give a snort of amusement. "I was born just as much of an Omega as you, Eve." He pointed out in amusement as he took a shaky step. "And as far as I am concern I've trained older people than you."

Eve smiled. “I just don’t feel comfortable around weapons. I feel better in heeled shoes and dresses.” She said as she held tightly onto Castiel. “You need to be in control. Don’t fear the shoes. Command them. Tell them what you want.”

Castiel glared down at his feet. "I demand you cease your wobbling!" He snapped at them before addressing Eve

"And I the opposite." He admitted. He took another step, this time keeping from tripping at least.

Eve laughed. “Not like that. When you had to command your men, you changed your posture and the way you stood. “Don’t lead with your heel so much, as you walk, keep your toes on the floor, just for the moment.”

That made absolutely no sense to him as he attempted it. It felt like he was stomping. This was ridiculous and he was becoming annoyed very quickly. "I feel like a horse prancing about like this." He huffed as he kept his posture straight.

“I know. You’ll get used to it. I promise. I looked awful when I learnt.” Eve promised. “Slide your toes along the floor and then place your heel down.”

The Omega gave an annoyed growl as he complied. He managed a few steps before wobbling and giving another curse. "Why cant I just were my boots. The dress is long enough no one will notice? What if someone decide to try their luck how am I suppose to fight in these?"

“Hey, I’m just trying to help.” Eve said softly. “You can always take your shoes off, and apparently a kick hurts a lot. But no one will try it on.”

"Sorry that wasnt directed at you." He sighed. "Just been a rough few days. My feet as dying... do you mind if we take a break?"

“I understand. Let’s sit you down and take them off. We can talk cutlery and dinner manners.” Eve said, helping John to sit on the bed.

"Thank you." Cas sighed in relief doing his best to try and reach his feet over the bulk of the dress and giving another growl of frustration when he failed.

Eve smiles and knelt down, taking his shoes off gently. “Shall we take your dress off as well so we don’t crease it?” She offered, patiently.

"Yes, please." Cas rushed in relief already beginning to try and get it off.

Eve chuckled and help Castiel to unfasten the dress. “It is very pretty, it suits you well.” She said softly as she hung it up in his wardrobe. “You’re lucky you have all these clothes made for you.”

Cas pursed his lips as he considered his reply. "Thank you." He mumbled far more softly as he moved to dress in his regular attire. "I only wish I had a say in any of it." He admitted as he tugged on his trousers.

“We generally don’t, Sire.” Eve said softly. “You were lucky to have the opportunity to get the Royal treatment. They are kinder and give you more options.” She said softly. “You could have worn anything within reason and they would have made it.”t

"You say that and yet I was stripped down and marched to my quarters. I wouldn't call that a kindness." He grumbled.

“No Alpha would punish us. Not someone like His Majesty.” Eve said, as he eyes glazed over for a moment before blinking. “He’s a good man, he’s trying his best to not only learn his job, but to care truly for Omegas. His father wasn’t a good man. You are in the unique position to help His Majesty in these areas, if you do this, he’ll break through heaven and hell if you asked.” Eve explained softly.

"All I've asked is for some respect and him to stop threatening my family and yet every time he hears something he remotely doesnt agree with it's always straight to torturing and punishing the only family I have. I would happy to assist it He wasnt such an assbut." He scoffed. "Trying or not he had a cruel streak that reminds me of his father at times. And yes I know just saying that could get me hanged." He sighed. "I just dont care anymore."

Eve sighed. “No Alpha is perfect. Get him somewhere open, not confined in his quarters. Somewhere he likes to be. And speak to him kindly and softly. Offers him something he would like, ply him into a good mood and then explain that you don’t like your family being threatened. If you’re lucky he’ll open up as to why he’s being an... assbut. And then offer to help him work on whatever reasons he gives.” Eve explained softly as she turned back around to face the Omega. “His Majesty is probably still in mourning as well and he’s not being able to process that.”

Castiel hesitated, blinking at her in surprise. He... hadn't really thought about the fact the man might be mourning. Even if he didnt care for his father's actions it was still his father... perhaps he could manage that. "That was... very helpful and wise... thank you Eve."

Eve smiled, “I’m just old, my dear. I’ve been around a long time. Shall we get on with your dining etiquette? If you do well, I’ll listen to more of your thoughts and give you my thoughts.” Eve offered.

"I... would really like that." Cas admitted the tension in his shoulders fading more in that moment then that had since the whole thing began. Honestly... he missed his talks with Gabriel... it would be nice to have someone to talk to now that he was stuck in the kitchens.

Eve nodded as she brought out a set of pristine cutlery with ten sets of knives and forks. “There’s going to be ten course meals on Sundays, each one with their own cutlery.” She explained.

Castiel groaned at the information but he sat up listening carefully as he counter the utensils.

“So all you really need to know is that you use the knives and forks from the outside in. Apart from the soup course and you use the round spoon. Additionally, sometimes you use a second spoon for dessert, but it won’t be out of its not used.” Eve explained as she pointed to each spoon.

"Out in. Got it." He acknowledged. "So, what will I need to know about being an Omega in that situation?" He asked adjusting them slightly.

“So you’ll all arrive for a set time, as you do you’ll take your seat.” Eve started. “Your seat, this week will be at the head table on His Majesty’s right hand side. As you’re the newest Aide. There you’ll give a minute or two speech about your credentials and what you’re planning on achieving in the role. His Majesty May have already spoken to you about what he’s wanting from the military.” Eve explained. “Five minutes after the arrival time the King will enter. Everyone will rise, and salute him. Once he sits, the Alphas will, and then you as an Omega. I believe His Majesty is planning on overturning this rule so you’ll seat when the Alphas do. But as far as I’m aware he hasn’t done this yet.”

"Good to know. I suppose I will have to wait until he does." He acknowledged. "It will be upsetting to most of the Alphas that an Omega is becoming an Aide but I would like to keep it to a minimum." He sighed.

Eve nodded, “You’re the first in history, so there will be backlash. But you are paving a way for everyone other Omega. I will help you as much as you can, and so will His Majesty. The King wants you to succeed, that’s why he was giving you all that help at the beginning.” She explained. “Don’t throw the help away for the sake of vanity.”

Castiel scoffed at that. "Vanity? If only..." He sighed. "I had appreciated the help... it wasnt that... But tell me Eve... if he makes it a point to provide me with more than a typical Alpha, would that not be special treatment?" He asked. "If I gain these things when Alphas do not, it become more than just help it becomes priviledge and I become the favorite Omega who slept his way to the top even if it is untrue. By refusing the help I am nothing more than an equal. Yes it will be far more difficult... yes it will be dangerous but then no one can argue than an Omega /earned/ their place rather than being handed it.... That we are worth it. Thay we /can/ do it. This isnt just about me... or my vanity. It's about all of us. I dont want to be given anything that would make my job harder in the long run... including favoritism."

Eve sighed, “Sire, I cannot tell you what do to, but I would take the help. Everyone would believe I am the favourite anyway, because of the job I hold, the job proves favouritism enough, people will believe I slept my way to the position I hold, so I would take the help. It could be dangerous, like you said, so I would want anything that will make it easier, even just for one day.” Eve explained. “His Majesty wouldn’t want the reputation that every Omega he sleeps with to get a high level job, so he would dispel the rumours, anyway. I would take the help and at least go to sleep feeling safe.” Eve explained, placing the cutlery set to one side and gently taking his hand.

"Perhaps." Castiel sighed, considering it. Even if he didnt agree with the woman she did have some valid points. He gave her hand a small squeeze in return. "I could also kill any Alpha that tries anhthing." He offered. "Eventually they'd get the picture and leave me be." He shrugged knowing that's not really how that works.

Eve chuckled. “That’s if you don’t get thrown in prison first.” She smiled warmly.

"Maybe." He shrugged. "I don't know Eve... there is a lot of ifs and maybes... To be honest... I just miss home... not that there is a home to go back to after this." He sighed, glancing away, eyes sadder than they had been just a moment before.

“Why don’t you tell me about home?” Eve suggested. “We can try and make this room more homely if you wanted?”

Cas snorted at that, offering her a warm smile that made the still healing lip burn a bit. "That is very sweet but I doubt it would be manageable." He mused. "This room... it's too large and lavish. In the barracks all I had was a simple cot, the things I needed to care for my armor and a small wardrobe for my clothes. But honestly it's the people I miss... My men... the ones that were always there, always giving counsel or laughing in the next room." He gave a small sad sigh. "His Majesty has reassured me I can visit when I become Aide but... unless it's for business I dont believe that is a good idea. I have no doubt made most of them very angry and would not want to cause any more trouble than necessary. Still... it has only been a few days and I miss them terribly... And worst of all Gabriel isnt even here to help... His Majesty obviously despises him and after so many threats I wouldnt dare visit him... but I do worry about him."

“My sister works in the kitchens. She is as old as me. I’m sure she can swing it with the chef to let her look out for Gabriel, or many even train him.” Eve offered. “I’m sure His Majesty has a good reason for not liking Gabriel, he won’t despise someone for no reason.” She smiled. “Talk to His Majesty. Let him open up to you. He’s just as lonely and new to the job as you are. You two can help each other if you just try.”

"Oh... I wouldnt want her to bother herself.... Gabriel is quite a handful." He admitted softly. "Though it would put my mind at ease." He admitted softly, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. Obviously side stepping her words regarding the King. "You are very kind Eve... Thank you." He sighed. "It shouldnt be as rare as it is in the world but it is." He smiled at her.

“It shouldn’t, but if you work hard it won’t be rare ever again. Maybe even one day, your great great grandkids might see an Omega Queen in charge.” Eve said wistfully. “Come on, let have another try in your shoes and then I’ll leave you to rest.” She said softly.

Cas chuckled at that. “Yeah… Maybe.” He mused before his smile faded and he gave a childish groan before moving back towards the bed to put the torture devices back on his feet.

“Come on, I’m sure the last thing you want to do is walk into a room of stuffy old Alphas and look weak or even trip and fall.” Eve chuckled, as she helped Castiel to put the shoes back on.

“You’re right but I still don’t see why I can’t just wear my boots.” He huffed as he strapped them on and stood with a bit more confidence than before.

“Because you need to prove that no matter what they do to you, you are better and will overcome it, and do their jobs ten times better.” Eve smiled, trying to instil confidence into Castiel.

The Omega shot her a side glare with no real heat, hiding a small smirk. “Must you always be right?” He teased lightly. “Its infuriating.” He chuckled as he tried to take a step forward. They really were painful.

“I’m old. When you’re my age, you’ll always be right too.” Eve smiled warmly. “Stop putting so much weight on your heels, try just walking on your tiptoes.”

Cas’ smile faded but he tried to comply, wobbling as he did so. He was certain he looked like an idiot but he did as he was told and slid his feet forward one at a time.

“That’s it. You’re doing so well. At least you’re doing this without me holding you.” Eve smiled. “No one is perfect straight away. It takes practice. I’m sure used to tell the new soliders that all the time.”

“Yes… though I feel a bit childish hearing it told to me at this age.” He mused as he waddled across the room, only almost falling twice.

“And you were trying to get to teach me to use a sword.” Eve smiled. “I’m proud of what you’ve done today. You’ve come so far is such a small amount of time. You’re a quick learning.”

“Well, I certainly try.” He offered, gaze still on his feet as he continued his treck. “I don’t think I’ll ever take for granted the Omegas who wear these.” He admitted softly.

“And here you were wanting to get away from your Omega side.” Eve smiled. “Is there anything you want to ask me about being an Omega? I don’t want you to be confused about anything.”

Cas paused considering it a moment. “I…” He began flushing deeply. “Apparently I am having a bit of issue hiding my scent. Is there something I can do?” He asked, as he moved to sink down with another sigh, feet already aching.

Eve sighed. “Share you heat. You’ve been so long without a heat, I believe your body may have... almost regressed back to a prepubescent stage. You’ve just come off the suppressants, so now your body is a teenager who has presented for the first time. It can’t control your scent or anything else related. Usually it settles down when an Omega shares a heat with an Alpha.” Eve explained softly. “That’s my best guess but I’ve never met anyone who has used suppressants before. “Your heat may be... strong as well. I know that whilst pregnant, an Omega doesn’t have heat, and after the nine months, it’s as if... the heats have built up, and is released all at once. At may be the same for you.” Eve explained. “So speak with an Alpha now, explain this and ask for their assistance. It will help ease the... desperation.”

Cas wrinkled his nose at that. “I think I rather be locked in a cage and forgotten.” He grumbled softly. “I don’t detest the idea of laying with an Alpha.” He clarified quickly, realizing how it sounded. “Its just… I don’t trust any of them in that aspect. Alphas are fine men in general outside of the bedroom but they’re aggressive sadistic beasts the moment the scent weakness.” He stated flatly as if he believed that that was the case without exception. “They want nothing more than to take what they desire by any means and leave their Omega as they please.” He gave another sigh, deflating a bit. “I suppose I’ll just have to figure out another way.” He mumbled already deep in thought, not realizing how serious his words had been.

“Castiel...” Eve said softly. “Make a deal with an Alpha. They can lay with you, but not knot you. Talk through what you want and don’t want. I promise if by the end of your heat, your scent will get worse and you’ll be in so much more pain. Don’t do that to yourself, just for unfounded stubbornness.” Eve said softly, taking his hands. “You’ll understand why I’m saying this if you trust me.”

Cas glanced at her evenly. “Unfounded?” He scoffed. “I might not have lain with an Alpha in some time but I’ve been with enough to know that nothing about it is ‘Unfounded’. And I would still need to find one that I could trust their word which at the moment is zero.” He sighed. “Maybe Surges…” He contemplated.

“He has a job that will take up too much time. You need someone who is their own boss.” Eve explained. “You are going to be in heat for the majority of the day and night.”

“Well, if he is assigned to me again then his only job would be to be with me.” He contemplated. “But that would imply I’d actually spend a heat with an Alpha.” He pointed out. “I have a lot to consider but I’m not sure of any of it.”

“Well you have my opinion, and...” Eve thought for a moment, “even if it’s not true, you can phrase it as it being you giving the Alpha your heat, and as such you can ask for something in return from them. Just... don’t throw the ideas away.” She hummed softly.

“Honestly Eve, I value your opinion to much to throw any of them away. Even if I don’t like them.” He teased lightly. “Can I take these off now?” He asked perhaps a bit too quickly.

Eve nodded, “but I want you to try walking around the room a few times today. I’ll be back tomorrow and I want to see you do it without help and without falling.” She smiled.

“I will do my best.” He offered returning her smile, very thankful for her presence suddenly.

Eve smiled and tentatively opened her arms. “I know you will. You’re a good man.” She said softly.

He hesitated before moving into her embrace which only made him miss his brother, the only other person he really hugged.

“You’ll do well. Just don’t try to do it alone. People want to help, allow them.” Eve said, before pulling back.

“I will do my best but if the cost is too great then I have to refuse.” He sighed, straightening as well.

“I know but you have to try. For all of us, you have to succeed or it will only get worse for us.” Eve said softly. “I’ve seen too much progress to watch it regress.”

“I can only promise to do my best.” He reassured. “I am just a man, though it seems like there are a lot of people who think otherwise.”

“We are all so desperate to show we can be equals. And you have the opportunity. Our dreams are to have the opportunity you have. But I will help any way I can.” Eve promised.

“I know… I hope to make the dream a reality.” He acknowledged. “But I am will still make some mistakes. I hope you can forgive me when I do.”

“We will. And I hope you’ll call on me if you need any advice.” Eve said softly. “I want to help you through this.”

“Speaking of which…” He mumbled softly. “How attached are you to your position?” He asked. “When I become Aide its my understanding that I can choose a number of advisors to assist in a great number of things. From what I’ve gathered most Aides choose military advisors but I feel as if I can manage that bit.” He admitted with a small chuckle. “Its etiquette I’m pretty worried about.”

“I’m too old to keep up with the young ones, but I don’t want to retire. It would be my honor to be your assistant, Sire.” Eve said bowing as low as she could with a fist over her heart.

Castiel’s grin broadened as he returned the salute with a shallow bow. “I hope you know what you’re getting into… It’s not going to be easy being an Omega assistant with the first Omega Aide.” He pointed out. “Could be dangerous… You sure you don’t want those sword lessons?” He teased playfully.

“I trust you’ll protect me, Sire.” Eve smiled. “Plus who would want to try it on with me? I’m old and saggy.”

The words caught Castiel of guard and it took a moment for him to realize what she had said before he burst into laughter.

Eve smiled and chuckled softly. “I’ll meet with you tomorrow at the same time. I want you walking around the room on your own.” She smiled, “and talk to a handsome, free Alpha about your heat. As your assistant, this is what I’m telling you to do.”

Cas shot her another glare still without any heat behind it. “Pushing me already I see.” He teased but nodded. “I’ll do my best.”

“It’s for the best.” Eve smiled before leaving the room and Castiel in silence.

Castiel watched her go, feeling a bit better with the world around him. She was right… about so many things but perhaps he should address one thing at a time… He glanced at the shoes, toss haphazardly to the side… One thing at a time… just not /that/. He ignored them before turning to his desk and beginning to try and find the words to address the King.

To his Most Excellent Majesty Dean Winchester, King of Shurley

May it please your Majesty,

To permit an unworthy, but loyal subject to approach your Majesty's throne in this manner, as tradition will not let me do it in any other.

I would like to humbly, formally request and audience with his Majesty, The King. It has come to my attention that there are a few subjects which may need to be discussed. While this is not a formal matter, which is a bit unorthodox, I feel that there is many misunderstandings that could be clarified with a simple civilized discussion; outside the confines of the castle and its inhabitants.

Perhaps if the King could find it in his good graces to spare a bit of time, an inspection of the new Knight Commander could be arranged with his Aide to be? I am certain the time it takes to stroll from the Castle to the barracks could be plenty enough for such discussion.

I request this and nothing more, I assure His Majesty. I am settling quite well into my position and feel as if everything that has been provided is more than adequate to meet the needs of a new Royal Aide.

May your most gracious Majesty take these matters into due consideration, and may you be inspir'd by the King of Kings to do that which is right in his sight. I wish long life and happiness to your Majesty, and am,

Your Majesty's most Faithful and obedient Castiel Novak, Former Knight Commander.

Dean read the letter a few time, digesting and dissecting the words slowly. It was never something he would have expected to read, especially from Castiel of all people. He picked up his quill and a clean piece of parchment: Dearest Aide Novak, Nothing would please me more than to dispel the air between us. I fear that the future will is close together, professionally. If you are able, please meet myself by the main entrance after supper, today. I am positive that the cool air will aide in our civilised discussion. Your ever faithful King, King Dean Winchester. Dean wrote in his elegant cursive handwriting he was forced to learn when he was a child.

Castiel was on his way to the library when the messenger presented him with the letter. He mumbled a quick thank you before breaking the seal and beginning to read the words carefully. He sighed a breath of relief when the words seemed to be accepting rather than patronizing and aggressive. Now all he needed to figure out is what he would wear to inspect the newly promoted men.

That evening, Dean headed out of his chambers, ordering the guard to stay behind. He had a short dagger strapped to his waist and a sword hanging on the other side. He waited by the double front doors, looking around for Castiel.

It didn’t take long for Castiel to appear, dressed in his social formal Alpha clothing from his previous rank. He would have preferred something more fitting but he wasn’t quite comfortable dressing as an Aide without the title, quite yet and the clothing Celeste had made for him was long gone. Regardless he approached the King, giving a low sweeping bow per usual. Though he hid it well enough his own weapons could be made out against the line of his waist and his boots if one looked close enough.

“Your Majesty.” He greeted. “Thank you for the quick response and the opportunity for counsel.”

“Of course.” Dean said softly, as he counted the numerous weapons on his person. “It read that you had something particular to speak about. Is there anything particular on your mind.”

"Well... Yes. I suppose there is." Cas acknowledged before motioning towards the hall. "Shall we walk?"

Dean nodded and held his arm open, to allow Castiel to go first. “Is there anything I can do to ease your transition? I’ve heard that you’ve enjoyed your session with your elocutionist, so much that you’ve appointed her as your assistant.” Dean hummed softly.

Castiel nodded and began to walk, keeping his eyes ahaed as he listened. "Yes, in the short amount of time I spoke to her she showed quite a bit of wisdom. I am also not so vain to ignore my weaknesses, the largest being etiquette as you have seen first hand." He admitted. "She actually advised I speak with you about matters at hand."

Dean opened his arms, “I am all ears, Novak.” He said as he watched Castiel closely. “This is something causing you some distress. Wouldn’t you prefer to do this somewhere, away from any prying eyes and ears?” He offered, wanting Castiel to be comfortable for whatever matter he is about to raise.

"If I may speak freely, Sire?" He asked carefully, finally glancing at him, looking a bit worried.

“Of course Novak, this is clearly eating you up inside.” Dean said softly, wanting to reach out and take Castiel’s hand to calm the Omega but knew better than to try it.

"To be honest, Sire... I was hesitant to be alone with you. Our... record for such things is not very pleasant." He pointed out. "But I hope to rectify that. I believe it is a simple case of misunderstanding. Perhaps we are not seeing things from each other's sides."

Dean nodded. “May I just say that, what I was giving you, I didn’t see as help to make you more than equals to your Aide counterparts. I can only imagine how hard all this is for you, I merely wanted to help you onto the same footing as the other Aides.” Dean explained. “A lot of them had been training for the position for years, I thought I was helping by giving you the education and privileges that they had acquired over the years.” He explained, his eyes soft and gentle as he looked over to Castiel. “Please forgive my ignorance, Novak.”

Castiel seemed to soften a bit at that, shoulders seeming slightly less tense than before. “I… Know.” He acknowledged softly. “There is no reason to apologize for that. I realize that you were only trying to help, Dean. I meant no disrespect when I refused everything you were trying to give. I only ask that you see it from my point of view as well… Having these things would help tremendously but at what cost. As an Omega next to the King; you could be accused of favoritism and I would be given privilege. Neither of which we can really afford if we are to accomplish what we are attempting. Every Omega Aide that comes after me would expect the same treatments while the Alpha’s are not receiving it. That cannot be allowed.” He offered as they continued on. “I must learn on my own unfortunately. Though I do want to express my gratitude for your willingness to assist. It is appreciated.” He acknowledged, forcing a small smile towards the man.

Dean smiled and nodded. “As you wish, though I do hope you’d come to me if you need anything. Anything at all. Especially with something such as Singer. I know you may have thought my actions childish, but when there is a man who has been set in the rules and etiquette and procedures for as long as him, sometimes the only possible way to make him listen is to shout and be loud and break etiquette.” Dean explained, softly. He gave Castiel a soft smile, “how about... a deal, I won’t threaten your family, if you come to me when you need a King’s input?” He offered gently, guessing that Castiel would turn down the offer.

The Omega consider it for a moment, considering his options. “To be honest, Sire. After the night previously… I didn’t expect you would believe me, or care for that matter.” He admitted. “Your reaction was quite the surprise.” He sighed. “I couldn’t exactly run to you and plead when my brother could be harmed for it.” He added before giving another tension draining sigh. “I suppose I can ignore my doubts and approach you when necessary.” He acknowledged. “Someone had suggested that you may be handling your new role… not quite as easily as you let on as well.” He added, turning to eye the man. “Perhaps we should discuss you’re ascension as well? Is there anything I can aide you with? That is why you brought me here afterall, isn’t it?”

Dean smiled softly, as he looked over to Castiel. “All I could ever ask of you is to grow into your role quickly, which I know you’ll do.” He said softly. “But if you are offering, my role is... quite lonely, if you know of anyone that could lead a supportive ear, one who is cleared to hear about aspects of my role, that normal men cannot hear, then I would be grateful if you gave me their names.” Dean said, his voice growing quieter, as he looked around

Cas paused taking a moment to appreciate the evening air as they entered the courtyard just outside the palace. He was thankful that most of the servants were tending to either their families or the supper clean up duties. He turned to face the King. “Your Majesty, I realize that I have come off a bit… aggressively during our first few meetings. I had no intentions of such things. I’ve asked your forgiveness once, though perhaps a bit superficially, so I will ask it again. Please, forgive me. I suppose it is a defense mechanism after posing as an Alpha for so long. I hope to change it though it may take time. That being said, I would be honored to listen to your problems, concerns… opinions as a man, rather than a King. I assure, this time I will not address them so poorly.”

Dean nodded, he tried to keep a calm expression but the relief in his eyes and the tension lifting from his shoulders gave him away. “Thank you Novak, I... it means a lot that you would offered your services.” He said with a genuine smile, aimed at the Omega. “Though, to ask you of this task and not give you something of equal enormity and as personal seems... unfair. I understand you don’t want to be seen as a favourite, but I do hope to return the favour.” Dean explained.

“I am no so sure, Sire.” Castiel countered. “Last time I attempted it my brother was threaten. If I do so again, I suppose I should be so lucky not have a pet or he would be as well.” He added, the only indication that the words were meant as a joke was the small upturn of his mouth and the amusement that shown in his gaze.

“Your brother shall never come into harms away, again. Unless he puts himself there.” Dean said with a small smile. “If you would like a pet to make your room more homely, all I ask is that you don’t get a dog, I fear they don’t like me to well.” Dean explained.

Cas gave a small chuckle at that. “A pet is a lot of responsibility. I think I have my hands full enough with Gabriel.” He replied as they started walking once more; the Omega grateful for the small breeze that allowed the relieved scent he was no doubt exuding to dissipate. His smile faded slightly as he considered the last few weeks, however. “If we are discussing these issues freely, Sire. I hope it is not too much to ask how you are handling your Father’s passing? I know your relationship may not have been the greatest but a father is still a father.”

It was Dean’s turn to stop walking and looked down to the floor. “This is still too public for me to speak ill of the dead.” He said, his voice small and weak. “Many liked him, and if someone overhears me speaking disrespectfully, I fear it won’t help my reputation much.” Dean sighed. “But thank you for the concern.” He looked up at Castiel, sadness filled his eyes.

Castiel's brows furrowed, his own gaze saddened as he saw Dean for what he truly was for perhaps the first time: A man who was both confused and saddened by the loss of his father. Castiel wanted to reach for him, to comfort him... which was an odd feeling. "Of course... My apologies, I should have realized the inappropriate location." He acknowledged, feeling guilty while also a but relieved of Dean's subtle reaction. "Perhaps if the inspection goes well, we may have a bit of time to discuss matters more privately?" He offered.

Dean nodded and looked to the sky to calm him emotions before looking back to Castiel. “Only if you wish to spend the time with me. I do not wish to force you.” He said softly, continuing their walk.

"I suppose, to find out if you are good to your word... I would have to." He offered. "Since you assured me no more threats on my family." He added. "Eventually, perhaps we will earn one another's trust." He shrugged. "I'd say that's a good start at least."

Dean nodded. “I do trust you, I just don’t appreciate some of the ways you speak to me.” He explained. “I trust your consul or I wouldn’t have made you an Aide.”

Castiel chuckled at that. "I suppose you have a great number of reasons to feel that way. I suppose I am not very... charismatic in tone." He admitted with a sigh. "It had gotten me in quite a few arguement with King John, may he rest in peace." He admitted.

“He can rest.” Dean mumbled. “We’ll work on it together.” He offered. “I’ll learn to understand what you’re trying to say and not become so defensive so easily.” He suggested. “Was there anything else you’d like to speak about? How are you settling into your room?” He asked.

"Fairly well, all things considered." He admitted, thankful for the change in subject. "Its a bit too lavish for my tastes but I suppose I will get use to it. I would like, with your permission to have some of the furniture removed. I lived a fairly simplistic life until now and I am not quite sure what half of the pieces are meant to do." He admitted a bit embarrassed but the fact.

“I’m sure your elocutionist can explain and show you. Or if you’d prefer, I can.” Dean offered. “Then you can choose whether you want to keep it or not.”

"I am certain Eve will be most pleased to give me the full history of each." He mused. "I would not want to take up too much of your time, Sire." He offered. "It is just furniture."

Dean hummed, “is there anything else you’d like to speak to me about? Anything personal or professional, I don’t mind.” He offered softly. “If you are to listen to my troubles then I’m happy to listen to yours.”

"Well, perhaps... professional." He admitted. "Eve mentioned it is customary that Omegas sit last at meals such as the one Sunday. She had mentioned you were planning to change this but that it has not happened. I simply wanted to make sure this was the case and it would change?"

“It is, it’s in motion.” Dean promised. “But my work is backdated four years, and at the moment, I need to deal with the older work first, as well as anything pertaining to my security in the job.” Dean sighed. “I’ll nudge it up the order, so it’ll be passed for the following Sunday.” Dean promised.

"Of course, Sire. There is no rush. I cannot pretend to know what Omegas have gone through, sitting last for one meal is nothing to complain about comparatively." He offered with a small bow. "Though perhaps, if you allow me to examine some of the precautions you are taking for your own security I can assist in that area? I realize I may not be an Aide yet but my experience allows me some insight in the subject."

Dean shook his head. “It is the legal side of it all. So no one can claim I ascended illegally. So Sammy can’t force me to abdicate. But thank you for offering Novak, it means a lot that you want to help.” Dean explained. “Plus, I need to find new Aides. My father made them all swear an oath to him rather than the chair. The ones that haven’t retired, are still in the job out of the kindness of their hearts.” Dean sighed. “And the longer I make them wait to retire, the more restless they grow.” He sighed, forgetting himself and his surroundings

Castiel nodded as he listened, knowing the way to the barracks by heart. “I see.” He mumbled softly. “How many would you prefer to have, Sire?” He asked curiously. “Have you given much thought to your brother?” He added remembering the mention of the younger Winchester when they had first interacted with one another. “If I may, Your Majesty, I still feel as if he would make a wonderful Advisor or Aide. It may not be traditional but… neither is an Omega. Perhaps he would be interested in the position... Though I do realize he has a different profession currently.”

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altbpd · 6 years ago

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tonight at work, i was given a lot of tasks to do and my leader for the night is one ive had concecuative problems with. shes insecure, so she abusively uses her power whenever her bosses are around and she twists words to make her look better and us look inferior.

early into the night, i was sure i could finish all my tasks before 7, but i was informed pretty late id need to finish them before 5, which i wasnt prepared for so i started panicking. and my crew for the night kept leaving, literally dropping like flies. so i started really panicking and admitted to my leader that i needed help, so she said she would do part c, and all i needed to do was finish my part (part a) that i was working on currently.

like ok great. i can do that.

so i finished by 5 and was cleaning up the books i left when i hear the Big Boss call my name and ask why part c — of the a, b and c i had to do — wasnt finished, and gave me like a nervous chuckle and honestly? i cant recall what i said but then my leader for the night cuts in and says i was supposed to do it and why didnt i and like explains to me in a condescending voice that she told me to do it hours ago and that x y and z did their parts.

and i was like ????? what ????? because i couldve SWORN she said shed do it. and like, im a good sport, im a team player so i just say “ok ill do it now, no big deal” and then my leader started following me saying “oh no they cleaned it up already u wont have time to do it” and “thats not what u need, u need this do u even have the plano?” and i just say like “it wont take long ill just go and get the stuff”

and im feeling pretty embarrassed because like, she humiliated me in front of the Big Boss and made me look like some stupid bitch.

and then im like, trying to ignore it and like am in this spiral of blaming myself when my coworker, brynn, comes over and says “wasnt {leader’s name} doing this? she said she was doing it hours ago” in a loud voice so Big Boss hears and i kind of look at her dumbfounded because like oh did leader actually say she would? and it wasnt my fault?

and then brynn takes me aside and starts saying how pissed she is that she witnessed our leader literally say she would do it and then throw me under the bus and then i got really upset because literally our leader made me look so stupid in front of Big Boss and i cried on the bus.

and then, to wrap this all up, i started crossing the street and some car sped ahead, VERY close to me, so he wouldnt have to wait for me to cross when he was in a nice toasty car while i was u know, walking out in the snow.

i dont know why but it was just a massive punch to the gut because i think its just my destiny to be treated like shit.

#actually adhd #actually borderline #actually mentally ill #adhd #bpd

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distractedhistotech · 6 years ago

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Ghost +1

Sydney was in the back of the van. She preferred it back there since she could move around more. Plus it felt weird staring out the window since losing her eye. She guessed it was the loss of depth perception. She was still learning how to gauge distance.

“So, that was kind of lame. Why did they think that guy was a ghost anyway?” asked Sydney as she tried to contact juggle some balls they had and dropped them all over the place. “He didn’t even put a lot of effort into his costume.”

“They were really superstitious,” said Arthur. “Only a few steps from being a cult when you think about it. They decide that anything strange has to have a supernatural or spiritual cause. Don’t even think there’s a scientific explanation because why couldn’t it be something that proves they’re right.”

“Arthur, you’re starting to ramble,” interrupted Vivi.

Arthur blushed. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. They were a bit…extreme,” admitted Vivi. “I can see why it would upset you.”

Mystery decided this was a good reason to lay his head on Arthur’s lap. Sydney then flung her arms around him. “Yeah! I thought they were creepy too!”

“Sydney! I’m driving!”

“Pretty sure they thought I was an idiot,” continued Sydney. “I mean that tone they used with me was just insulting! Just because I’m missing an eye doesn’t mean I’m an idiot! Lots of people are missing parts and are smart! I’m not a pirate!” Sydney paused. “Actually, there were some pretty intelligent pirates. I don’t know where I was going with that. I seem to come back to pirates a lot lately. I know why I do, but it’s getting kind of old. I need to find something else to obsess with when I get riled up.”

“You could go back to talking about comics,” suggested Vivi.

Sydney sighed. “Yeah, I miss that…Why do I have so much trouble bringing comics up nowadays? It used to be second nature, but now I have to focus to talk about them. Even though I still love comics. It doesn’t make sense. Is this part of growing up? Part of recovering from a traumatic event? Both? It feels like something’s wrong. But isn’t that normal now?” Sydney rested her forehead on the back of Arthur’s head, not noticing how hard he was gripping the steering wheel. “Do you ever feel like that?”

“Yes,” said Arthur. He’d felt like it since he woke up in a hospital missing an arm, missing a friend, missing memories, missing so much… “I don’t think it’s gonna go away.” Mystery let out a whine and licked one of Sydney’s hands.

Vivi looked between the two as the mood quickly started to darken. God, she just wanted her two friends to be happy like they used to be. She needed to find a way to change the subject and make them smile. “Why don’t we pick up a couple of pizzas or something and then watch a couple of hours of Star Trek or Star Wars or Captain America?”

Arthur caught on to what she was trying to do and smiled. “That would be nice. It’s been a while since we hung out.” He frowned. “That’s my fault.” He’d been busy looking for Lewis. He was trying not to ignore his remaining friends, but it was hard when he wanted to find the other one and mentioning him did…something to them.

“What the heck are you working on anyway?” asked Sydney. “You’re not usually this secretive. You’re not trying to make a mechanical eye again, are you?”

“No!...Not usually anyway,” admitted Arthur.

“I can see where he’s coming from,” said Vivi. “I don’t think we can buy another eye if something else goes wrong. We need an alternative method.”

Sydney shuddered. “Okay, point taken. Being blind sucked. I don’t know how someone can live with that for a lifetime. Especially if you’re born like that! Can you imagine never knowing colors? And I bet light doesn’t make a lot of sense either. And you can’t play videogames!”

“Can’t work on cars or fabricate parts,” continued Arthur.

“Probably can’t paint either,” mused Vivi. “Unless the various colors smelled different from one another.”

Sydney wrinkled her nose. “Is-Is that a thing? And I don’t mean synesthesia! Can blind people have synesthesia? Or deaf people? Or anyone missing one sense?”

“What if sounds are linked to smell instead?” suggested Arthur.

“Can that happen?”

“Dunno. Maybe.”

“Pigments are just a type of chemical compound, so it would make sense for them to have a scent,” said Vivi, keeping the conversation from veering off in a completely different direction for once.

“Depends on the chemical. Some don’t have a scent, or at least the scent is too faint for humans to pick up on,” explained Arthur.

“I dunno, I swear I was smelling more right before you fixed my eye,” argued Sydney.

“It’s not quite the same thing. When you lose a sense you pay more attention to the ones that are left, like reassigning roles. We get the most information from sight, so when someone loses their sense of sight they pay a lot more attention to little things that they didn’t even realize they were ignoring. Also, I think there’s some neuroplasticity involved. Your brain isn’t using the part that used to be for putting together what your eyes saw, so it starts using it for other things over time.” Arthur was silent for a moment. “Um. But you, uh, would know better than me, given, you know. Sorry, I got a little too into the science papers I’ve been reading.”

Sydney smiled and shrugged. “It’s fine. I think it’s pretty interesting, even if I don’t understand all of it.” She tapped her eyepatch. “Does losing an eye affect how much of my brain it uses?”

“Just one? I’m not sure. You are seeing less…”

“Can you still smell and hear more than you’re used to?” asked Vivi.

Sydney shrugged. “Dunno. I don’t think so. Was kind of distracted at the time. Plus, everything looked different when I could see again.”

Vivi huffed. “It is just so unfair. How is it that my abilities still haven’t manifested but my half of the eye lets you see spirits?”

“It is really strange,” agreed Sydney.

“Maybe it’s because your abilities are already active,” suggested Arthur. “And you do have some control over ‘em.”

Vivi hummed in thought. “That might be it. There are still so many unknowns…”

“Hey, I don’t care how as long as no one else has to go blind,” said Sydney. “Besides, I’m sure something will wake you up eventually.”

“Yeah, but what if I’m like 40 when it finally happens?” complained Vivi. “Heck, if I have kids by then, they might have gotten their power before me…”

Arthur winced. “Do you want kids?”

Vivi nodded. “Of course! One, maybe two. I just have to find the right guy,” she said, giving Arthur a significant glance.

Arthur missed said glance entirely as he was distracted by thoughts of what could have been. Sydney was blind on that side. The only one to notice was Mystery, who huffed. Why did life have to be so difficult for these kids? The last time he’d had charges this prone to trouble…

It hadn’t ended well. Mystery would rather not dwell on the depressing memories.

Vivi realized her hint had gone over their heads yet again and decided to just move on. “Do you guys want kids?”

“I want one! So there can be a Sydney Scoville III!” proclaimed Sydney. “But just one. Don’t think I could handle more than that.”

Arthur was silent. Lewis wanted kids. He’d be an amazing father with how well he handled his sisters. “I dunno if I want children. I don’t want to pass on any of my issues.”

Vivi and Sydney both frowned at Arthur’s reasoning. “Most of your issues are due to your early upbringing,” pointed out Vivi. “You wouldn’t make those same choices and mistakes. That would prevent most of those issues from happening.”

“They could still pick up the behavior from me,” argued Arthur. “There’s only so much that I can change.”

“I don’t think you need to change,” said Sydney. “I mean, yeah, you’ve got anxiety issues, but lots of people do. You’re also smart and nice and help people and have cool hair and stro-”

“What if I attract something dangerous?” interrupted Arthur.

“Then I’ll just keep living nearby,” reasoned Sydney. She’d live with him if he asked. “I mean, I don’t see why I would leave Tempo.”

“Me either. Tempo is our home,” agreed Vivi. She placed a hand on Arthur’s flesh and blood hand. “We’re stuck with each other. For life.”

Arthur felt himself cheer up a bit at that. He gave Vivi a smile and tried to give Sydney one as best he could. Maybe he was being selfish, but he wanted to stay close to his friends.

And then the dashboard started to spark. Arthur’s eyes widened. “What?! No, no, no…” He stomped on the gas several times but failed to pick up speed.

Vivi frowned. “Is something wrong with the van?”

“There shouldn’t be! I just performed maintenance on it!”

Sydney raised an eyebrow. “Am I the only one who thinks the purple sparks were weird?”

Arthur blinked. “Purple?”

Sydney nodded. “Yeah, I was staring right at the dashboard.” The high beam light looked like a jellyfish. “Definitely purple.”

“That is not a thing that should happen!” shouted Arthur.

Vivi nodded. “Electricity’s supposed to just be white, which suggests this isn’t normal.” The van came to a stop right in front of…Vivi blinked several times. “A dancing mansion?”

Okay, it wasn’t actually dancing. However, it was sort of pulsing/bopping to a beat that one could fell in their bones. It was noticeably run down and purple and had eerie lights in the windows.

“There’s no way that’s not haunted,” deadpanned Sydney.

“Erm…” Arthur tried turning over the car again. “We don’t, have to investigate, do we?”

Vivi thought of what happened last time they’d jumped into an investigation without any preparation.

Blood. Hospitals. Loss. Guilt.

“If you can get the van started, we’re leaving,” said Vivi. “Sydney, you’re not wearing your suppressor?”

Sydney shook her head. “Still practicing controlling it on my own.”

“Good. Don’t reign it in.”

Mystery just stared at the mansion. He recognized its aura. He could barely believe it.

When did Lewis come back and what did he have planned?

Lewis was planning to exact his revenge. The plan had been simple: Create a mansion on a road that they often traveled along near Tempo (He couldn’t get into Tempo, but that could be because of some of the wards Vivi had tried setting up.), lure the Mystery Skulls (especially Arthur) into the mansion, separate them, bring Arthur to his location, kill Arthur, and reunite with the girls and Mystery, with possible minor changes as were needed. He was also open to making Arthur confess what happened to the girls (They must not have seen what happened to just go along with him.) before killing him.

The plan started to unravel as soon as the van came to a stop in front of his mansion. Part of that was because instead of rushing into the mansion on the heels of Vivi like he was expecting, they stayed in the van. And stayed. A lot longer than he recalled them ever doing so when he was alive.

Part of it was indirectly Sydney’s fault. He’d known that her aura was potent against malevolent spirits and the like, but he hadn’t really appreciated it until he felt it pressing down on him. From all the way outside. He found himself rubbing his temples. Ow. No wonder the nastier spirits went out of their way to avoid her. He was actually leaking some energy. He could last for some time as long as he was careful, but theoretically, they could just stay in the van until he was too drained to keep them here. If they tried that, he’d have to go out and confront them. Not something he wanted to do, but if it became necessary…

Lewis wondered why he was being affected in the first place. He wasn’t evil…Well, okay, he did want to kill Arthur. That was justified, but maybe it was gray enough for Sydney’s ability to categorize him as malevolent. If that was the case, then it would probably stop after he killed Arthur and no longer had any desire to hurt someone.

Lewis was dragged from his musings as several figures started exiting the van. Finally! Lewis quickly started setting up the finishing touches of his plan.

It was time to end this.

Arthur had to admit defeat. “I’ll need to look under the hood, and I don’t want to do that in front of a haunted mansion.” He sighed. “I don’t wanna go inside either.”

Sydney had been staring at the mansion the whole time. She could see the music. And anger. This eye was so weird. “I think you’d be okay. Pretty sure my aura will reach that far.”

Mystery could confirm that her aura did extend that far and would retain enough potency to be effective. Not that he could tell them, but it was certainly a weight off his shoulders.

Vivi started handing out various items for protection and fighting. “It’s a tough choice. Stay out here alone but relatively safe or go inside with us to stay close to Sydney and me.”

Arthur groaned. If he was less worried about the girls’ safety he would stay outside, but he couldn’t help but worry that if he let them go inside that he would never see them again. It had happened before. Even if he couldn’t do anything to protect them, he could draw fire away from them.

“I think I’ll go with you guys,” Arthur decided.

Sydney and Vivi studied him for a moment before Sydney suddenly bit her thumb and smeared some blood in the center of his forehead. “Just in case.”

Arthur instinctively looked up with crossed eyes for a moment. “Uh. Okay. I guess that’ll work.”

“It should. There is power in blood,” said Vivi as she gave him some holy water and slipped a beaded necklace over his head and under his shirt. “We can try practicing making protective symbols with it too.”

Sydney chuckled. “Like an anime.” She nodded. “Anything that you think will help.”

Arthur fought down the urge to wipe at the blood on his forehead. “Can I just say that I don’t like having other people’s blood on me?” It brought back bad memories.

Sydney winced. “Oh. Sorry. Should’ve asked first, shouldn’t I?”

Arthur took a deep breath. “I’m fine. I’ll be fine. You said it might help so it’s something to try.” The blood itched on his forehead. “But I am totally scrubbing it off when we get out of here.”

Vivi nodded. “Sounds like a decent enough compromise.” She handed an ofuda to Sydney. Sydney smeared some more blood on the back of it. “I don’t want either of you getting hurt again. You’re just starting to get back to where you were before.”

That made both of them wince. The last few months of learning to live with new handicaps had been difficult and frustrating in several ways. They didn’t want a repeat with themselves or Vivi or Mystery.

All four of them silently vowed to protect the others.

The walk up to the mansion’s front door took just a few seconds. Vivi knocked on the doors (She was concerned that the inhabitants would be excited by Arthur knocking and see Sydney knocking as a declaration of war.), which creaked open ominously. The inched in, the doors slamming shut behind them.

The darkness didn’t last long enough for them to pull out flashlights. Several purple wisps of fire floated by and lit candles lined along the walls and set on a chandelier.

Vivi absently noted that the layout kind of reminded her of the Spencer mansion, except a lot more purple.

“Sydney, stop humming.”

“Oops. Didn’t notice-”

Several purple ghosts suddenly popped up. “Who-o-o-o-oa!”

Most of the group immediately tensed up. Vivi didn’t immediately though. “Cute!”

They really were adorable…until more popped up behind them. “This time I might just disa-Who-o-o-o-who-o-o-oa!” They suddenly got pointy toothed with claws. “Oh yeah!”

Nope. They took off running down the hallway through break in the ghosts.

“This time I might just disappear!”

A suit of armor suddenly lunged towards them and swung an ax. Sydney and Vivi dove under the ax. Arthur vaulted over it. Mystery barely dodged it, having to use his kitsune magic to retract his head into his body.

“Gah!”

“Mystery!”

“)%$*&$^#$(%^)*%(&%*&$&!”

Mystery popped his head back out before any uncomfortable questions could be asked.

“Who-o-o-o-who-o-o-oa…”

They abruptly realized that the paintings lining the hall were moving. They suddenly leapt out. “Oh yeah!”

The Mystery Skulls leapt into each other’s arms. Thankfully, the portrait spirits pulled back into the paintings. “Who-o-o-o-oa…” And then the lady painting reached out and pulled a rope next to her painting.

A trapdoor opened under them. They fell down screaming, and things became bizarre, even by their standards. They weren’t falling as quickly as they should be. It was more like they were floating. Not to mention there were several random items in the space with them. A few hours later, they would comment on how it was oddly reminiscent of Alice in Wonderland.

They floated past several mirrors. Vivi was a bit confused by the fact that her reflection had completely purple eyes. From what Mystery could see in his cracked mirror they could see past glamours. Arthur was facing away from the mirrors so he didn’t see that they failed to reflect his prosthetic. Sydney did faintly notice this but was a bit distracted by how her reflection showed her right after her injury with her remaining eye leaking various colors from it.

Then Arthur’s fall suddenly sped up. Vivi and Sydney made to grab him, but just missed him. Then they noticed Sydney was falling even slower and tried to grab each other, but it was too late again.

Sydney let out an ‘oof’ and shot to her feet as she landed. “I’m armed!” she shouted, brandishing the ofuda. She turned around. There were a bunch of boxes, a dusty bed with no covers, and… a mannequin in a wedding dress and holding an ax? Sydney thought she was in the basement until she noticed some windows that she ran over to. She felt her brain short circuit. “How the *&^*) do you fall down into the attic?!”

Vivi and Mystery had landed in a kitchen where a pair of dagwood sandwiches were laid out on the center counter. The two stared at them for several moments but managed to pull themselves away. “Right. Separated…We should look for Arthur first. Sydney can take care of herself in this sort of situation.” Her stomach growled. Mystery’s growled even louder. “…I wonder if it would be safe to grab a few pieces.”

Arthur landed on his ass in what was probably the basement. He absentmindedly glanced upward in confusion (How did that work? Ghost logic was so weird.) before zeroing in on a large coffin with a skull and thorny vine design on the top of the lid. It was beating like the rest of the house.

Not good.

The coffin slowly opened, revealing a jawless skull floating above a large body in a nice suit.

Lewis narrowed his eye sockets as he floated out and slammed his feet in front of Arthur. He glared at his murderer, full of hate and anger.

Arthur stared in fear, unable to recognize his dead friend. All he saw was a scary, probably powerful, likely dangerous ghost that had separated him from his friends.

Lewis broke the silence by pointing a finger at Arthur. “Fuck, it’s you I hate the most.”

Arthur gulped and pointed at himself. “Buh-buh-Why?”

It was a reasonable question from Arthur’s point of view. Lewis…it did occur to him that he wasn’t as recognizable without his face. He lit the braziers and let his hair form. “Does this answer your question?!”

No, it didn’t, but Arthur decided he wasn’t going to explain that this was a case of mistaken identity to a ghost that probably wasn’t going to listen. He threw the vial of holy water, turned on his heel, and ran.

Lewis did recoil a bit at the holy water. He was a fire ghost. Water stung even if it wasn’t holy. Then he threw it off, decided this was proof of Arthur’s guilt, and gave chase.

Arthur was in good shape (He didn’t understand how he was still so healthy when he’d been hospitalized and locked in his workroom so much for the last few months.) and used to running from scary things. He glanced behind him and saw the ghost practically flying towards him. No more glancing back. He put on a burst of speed.

Oh, hey, Vivi and Mystery. “Angry ghost! Run!”

Vivi and Mystery looked away from the sandwiches they were still debating eating. They looked in the direction Arthur came from, threw the sandwiches at the angry ghost, and ran after Arthur. Lewis didn’t bother trying to avoid the sandwich contents and flew right through them.

“We need to find Sydney!” shouted Vivi.

“Where is she?!” shouted Arthur.

“I don’t know!”

Mystery could feel that Sydney had ended up in the attic and was managing to work her way down. He pulled ahead and ran up some stairs, Arthur and Vivi close behind him. They ran through a bunch of doors and rooms.

Sydney heard the racket and threw open the door of the room she’d wandered into. “Angry Elvis ghost!”

That threw Lewis for a loop. “Elvis? Are you kid-” He saw the eyepatch. “What happened to your-”

Sydney threw an ofuda at him. Lewis yelped and pulled it off. That hurt!

“You stay away from Arthur!” demanded Sydney.

That hurt almost as much as the ofuda. “You don’t get it. He-”

Vivi darted back and grabbed Sydney. “What’re you waiting for?!” She then dragged Sydney off.

Okay, Vivi and Sydney didn’t know about his murder. Somehow. Maybe it was post traumatic amnesia or something. Clearly, this needed to be remedied. Also, why was Sydney wearing an eyepatch? She wasn’t wearing an eyepatch for the heck of it. There’d been scars peeking out. He gave chase, now equally intent on telling Vivi and Sydney what happened along with killing Arthur.

He threw fire to keep Arthur from moving down a hallway. Arthur turned and stared at him fearfully. Lewis felt his desire for vengeance clawing up his heart.

And then Vivi and Sydney put themselves between them, Vivi with her arms outstretched as if to shield Arthur as much as possible, Sydney with her hands up as if she was prepared to fight him.

This was wrong. Vivi and Sydney were supposed to be on his side. He wasn’t the enemy! He just needed…Maybe…Yes. That would work. He willed his anchor towards them.

They just needed to see the proof of who he was, that they knew him.

The flames died down. Arthur was certain he knew the way to the front door from this spot. He grabbed Vivi and Sydney and booked it.

Vivi and Sydney glanced back once.

Mystery made sure to take up the rear.

Lewis stared in disbelief and heartbreak as his murderer and the love(s?) of his life and (more than) best friend.

And his anchor fell and broke.

And Lewis switched to frustration and anger and despair and why did this happen to him?! Why why why?!

He screamed, pouring his everything into it as his fire erupted around him.

The living Mystery Skulls barely made it through the doors in time to avoid being burned alive. Mystery might have had something to do with it. They rushed to the van. “Go go go!”

Arthur revved the van. It started. “I’m going!”

They peeled out of there.

None of them saw the figure watching them from one of the high windows. Lewis watched as the van drove away. He pressed down on his cracked anchor and looked at the picture inside.

It was from shortly after he and Vivi started dating. He had an arm around Vivi, who was hugging him. Sydney had an arm thrown over his shoulder while he used his free arm to support her. No Arthur. The three of them were smiling and happy and whole and alive.

They could never go back to that.

Lewis barely noticed the tear running down his face as he finally passed out and returned to his anchor, the house fading around him.

#MSA + 1 #msa+1 #Mystery #Vivi #Arthur #Lewis #Ghost #mystery skulls #extra member #au #grrlpowercomic au #What am I getting into?

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iceamericanoventi · 6 years ago

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Love Will Find a Way, Well, Eventually : 2. In Between

“Where are you going?”

If it was inside Cartoon Network’s universe, everyone must be able to see the smoke fuming from both his nostrils and ears. Jinki looks beyond distressed when he’s lifting his ass from the chair. No one on the table was his partner, but Minho decided to throw some ridiculous question then played dumb as if he didn’t just ask one.

“Should I have number one here?”

He started getting irked, but that doesn’t stay long until Kibum casually munched his breadstick while spluttering his witty comments as usual, “Surely Taemin would be delightful.”

Taemin who didn’t do anything almost chocked himself with a piece of tomato and kicked Kibum’s shin under the table, eventually.

“Promise me you won’t run away?”

Dumbfounded, Jinki emptied his pocket and almost smashed the table with his belonging.

“Are you my husband? Here’s my wallet. And my phone!” and with that, he left the other three men finishing their meal.

“Is he always in this temper?”

Lee Taemin gave him another look, pleading him not to embarrass them further, but Kibum just shrugged and muttered ‘I’m just asking’ under his nose.

“He was mad with me since this afternoon. Plus, he has lots of stuffs to think about these days. But don’t worry, he never really got mad unless you disturb his nap.”

“What is he? A bear?”

“Yaa! Kim Kibum!”

Minho couldn’t help but laugh to the scene happened before his eyes. Taemin is famous for being friendly and very expressive only if you know him, even if he’s talkative. To penetrate his bubble is very hard at first, but this man sitting across him, he seems like he’s already inside that bubble since the very beginning. He really is someone closed to him. Kibum looks mesmerizing, even in his grumbling nature. The oversize sweater wrapped his lithe build perfectly.

A phone call arrived to Kibum's phone, he picked it up frantically and excused himself to take it outside.

"What do you think?"

“Eh?” Minho doesn’t even realized he got his eyes entailed Kibum’s silhouette until it disappear by the entrance door.

“You seemed in trance. I know Kibum is beautiful but I didn’t expect you’ll be this amazed with my friend,” Taemin’s sipping his wine, a smirk is very apparent in his devious face.

“I guess it’s safe to say that you’re not a liar.”

Minho reopened his mouth few minutes after he’s assured that Kibum’s not going back any soon. Taemin is not ecstatic, sometimes he wondered if Minho has a decent sense of humor of a friend.

“For your information, I’m not and never been. I’m the most honest person you’ve ever encountered in your life.”

“Everyone in this room knows that’s not true.”

“Whatever. I might know my ways deceiving people, but I never lie to my friend.”

“Did you just admit that you’re lying here and there, Lee Taemin?”

Taemin rolls his eyes, again, probably for the nth times already this evening. Without Jinki around, he can be more relaxed on throwing his tantrum on Minho.

“Choi Minho, people lies at some certain points of their life. Get over it.”

He gulped down the rest of his wine, Taemin then called a waiter near them to bring him another one.

“Kibum seems nice. He sounds smart.”

“Sounds? Did you even listen to yourself? No writer is not smart, Choi. Moreover, someone who’s been writing the past decade!”

“I only know him for one night. Who knows he’s just acting?”

“Dude, not everyone is an asshole like you.”

“An asshole wouldn’t agree to bring his best friend along in front of a psychopath like you.”

Taemin snorted and Minho’s smirk reappeared on his face.

“That is literally what a psycho would do, selling their friend for their own benefits.”

Minho wiped his mouth before washed down the dinner with cold water, “And that’s exactly what Jinki accused me for. You two shared a brain or what?”

“Any sane people would say the same, Honey,” this time Taemin’s smirk that made the other scoffed, “By the way, what’s the deal with Jinki? He looks like he’s been sitting on thorny cushion the whole dinner!”

Minho knows Taemin would ask such question eventually. However, he couldn’t say that Jinki hates the whole dinner date plan, it’s impossible. Besides that, knowing him for years, Jinki really is an angel in disguise, well, at least when he’s in the mood.

“People have different, what should I say, defense mechanism? And that’s how he is. What kind of person who talked nonstop during their first meeting, anyway?”

“Oh, I don’t know, me?”

“That’s why you’re a freak.”

“A freak who introduced you to your potentially next boyfriend.”

“Ha. Point taken,” Minho raised his hand to ask for the dessert, “Jinki is just not the type of person who will talk a lot and open up in a second. But I guarantee you, he’s a good person. Sometimes a little bit care too much for other at certain time so probably being brazen is his forte.”

“That reminds me of someone.”

Taemin and Kibum spent their high school days together. Separated for some years due to works and educations, their relationship’s all well maintained. They understand each other, including Kibum’s nature to always put others before him at any given situation.

“Appearance wise, though, what do you think about Jinki?”

“Choi Minho, I’m not a teenager anymore. Judging people around by its cover is no longer my habit.”

“But a designer like you must love a beautiful package, don’t they?”

“Well, to be honest, his lips and eyes itself could get me floored in one glance.”

“I knew it.”

“You’re a famous photographer for a reason.”

***

Cold wind slapped Kibum’s cheeks lightly when he pushed the door and parched to the corner near the valet post.

“Okay, now you can speak. Sorry, I don’t know why the reception wasn’t good enough inside.”

“Then I’ll be frankly here. There’s a possibility for making the special edition for the short story collection. But then, we’re still short of two stories at the moment.”

“Wait, wait, but we already have nine! I finished writing nine! Why should I add another two?”

“The publisher agreed to the preposition for at least twelve stories. You should be grateful I could pitch one less story!”

Kibum looks like he’s about to punch anyone passed within radius one meter around him, but nothing in reach besides a huge pot of short palm tree and concrete wall. And he needs his hand to finish his books still.

“But, Amber. Page wise, those are more than enough to make two new books. Are they out of their mind?”

There’s a loud groan banging on his ear drum came from the other line, “Dude, I almost flipped the table when I was at the meeting you have no idea. The board has new man and that guy is a pain in the ass.”

“Would it change the circumstance if I talked to them by myself?”

“Since when do they have time to talk to the writer directly? We’re head to head with bunch of snobs here, did you forget?”

“I should had not agree to let them touched my writings. Now we’re about to face dead end.”

It was a dream to work along this publisher. It was Kibum’s dream since he started writing when he took gap year after graduated high school. And as if it’s a fate, it was the only publisher agreed with his graphic novel concept five years he climbed his career professionally.

“Listen, Kibum. When I met you years ago, I promised I’ll work my ass hard to help you publishing your books. Not because I knew you, it’s because you’re good. You’re amazing writer and I’m not giving up easily. And neither you. Not when anybody can tell that you’re a gem.”

“I haven’t written any book since last year, Amber. I’m in a slump. Writer’s block is not even describing my bad luck at the moment.”

“Honey, you haven’t written any because you’re currently waiting two books released. And if I could do my magic, another one in, let’s say, six months.”

“If I could make up some words into another story within two weeks. If you could convince them to give me mercy.”

“Did you just know me yesterday?”

Kibum’s tired giving sane response, “What do you mean?”

“I’m waiting their secretary to call me in ten minutes. We’re going to discuss some new deals and I’ll make sure one of them is going to be your new nine stories book.”

“I actually have no idea if I don’t have you as my editor slash manager slash friend slash personal ranting partner slash whatever you want to be.”

“Rockstar. That would be cool.”

“You’re going to be a kick ass one to be honest.”

“I bet. Anyway, expect another call from me in the next couple hours. I’m sorry, but tonight we might need video call to resolve some issues.”

“I hate you for confiscating my time but you’re the best.”

“As always, ain’t I?”

The phone call ends already, but he still forlornly looking at his phone’s screen. With that, Kibum remembers all the works he needs to catch up for tonight. With that, he can put aside all the unnecessary anxiety and tension of tonight’s stupid match making session.

He took a glance of his watch and could only sighed, he better hurried inside to his dessert. The faster he finished, the sooner he can hit home and face the real deal. His deadlines.

Two steps away from the entrance however, he caught a familiar face sitting by themselves, staring to the busy street in front of the restaurant.

“Jinki?” he carefully calling the man, “Lee Jinki, right?”

The later tilted his head to the right and gave Kibum a simple smile, didn’t realize it dropped Kibum’s heart by the bottom of his gut.

“Aren’t you cold?”

Everyone would agree this winter is even harsher than last year’s. Jinki just lifted his left hand to make sure Kibum saw a cigarette slipped between his fingers, “Can I sit here?”

Jinki chuckles, “Aren’t you cold?”

Listening to the same question he threw a minute ago, he just rolled his eyes and took a place next to the other man.

“I’m waiting a phone call.”

“Important?”

“Kinda.”

Jinki blew some smoke out, “Hmm, I guess so. You sounded pretty upset over there.”

“Did I scream that loud?!”

“In my opinion? No. but a girl flinched and buzzed off rather hastily, so, you tell me.”

When he saw Kibum’s gaping like a fish in frantic expression, Jinki has no choices beside laughed again, surprising Kibum who’s quite convinced with his aloof personalities.

“I didn’t know you have so many jokes in store.”

“You learn something new every day.”

“Your face doesn’t show.”

“What about my face?”

“It’s handsome but with that attitude inside, seems like you’re the type who woke up at the wrong side of the bed every single morning and could kill someone annoys you at any time.”

“Well, to be fair, I did wake up in the wrong side of my bed this morning. But it’s because a certain dog occupied half of my blanket so I couldn’t disturb her.”

“You have a dog?!”

Kibum’s face lit up thousand times as if he just won some lottery. Strangely, it warms Jinki’s heart. No, scratch that, it would warm any heart, Jinki tried to generalize the situation.

“I don’t, unfortunately. She belongs to my friend. I’m taking care of her while he’s travelling abroad. Her father will pick her up this weekend.”

“Ah, too bad. We could have play date with my boys.”

“I’ll make sure to give you a call when I decided to adopt one later.”

“Do you think my invitation hasn’t expired yet by that time?”

“A man can only dream, can’t he?”

Kibum’s laughter is muffled by his own palm covering his mouth.

“Let’s go inside, you must be shivering.”

“But your cigarette?”

Kibum’s half stuttered caught red handed, Jinki already pressed the half-done cigarette on the sand bowl on his left, “I can always have another one at home. Besides, I doubt you would go inside without me dragging you along.”

Kibum thanked the universe that the place is not well lit, so he could hide the blush creeping his cheeks. Unfortunately, Jinki has a very good eye sight.

***

“Is my baby being a good girl when daddy’s away?”

Jinki scoffed when the man just entered his living room just literally threw his suitcase aside and scooped the little dachshund running toward his embrace. He gathered the suitcase and poor leather bag on the floor and placed it neatly near the saffron color couch.

The man later dropped himself next to Jinki who’s lounged himself there, checking his phone halfheartedly.

“Minho texted me the other day.”

“Why did he keep texting you?”

The man with dark grey hair didn’t catch the frown hanging on Jinki’s face and buried his face to the dog’s belly, making him groaned again. He lightly pushed the dog further and toppled his head on the other man’s laps.

The dog owner realized something’s happened when he’s not around. He put the dog on the ground and tapped her butt to send her back to her small bed near the pantry.

“Minho has my number and I have his name in my contact list. He can text me whenever he wants. Still jealous?”

Jinki closed his eyes when he started playing with his hair, “He’s still one of the reasons we broke up.”

“Baby, the only reason we broke up is because neither of us didn’t want to succumb into marriage. Minho was just a handsome face happened on the wrong time.”

“I have no idea why I still befriend him when it’s clear he wanted to shove his face to yours, all the damn time.”

“And I have no idea that you’re this type who holds the grudge for a long time. We were already out of relationship back then.”

“Still, a friend wouldn’t openly chase after their friend’s ex.”

“A friend wouldn’t, but a best friend would.”

“Whatever.”

He almost lost his control and slapped Jinki’s head of him, “Oh, come on. What’s bothering you this time?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit. It’s written all over your face the second I saw you behind the door. And I’m pretty sure it’s not because my daughter misbehaved while I’m on my annual pediatric conference.”

Jinki sighed, nothing he could really hide it from the other man. Since they were in their almost five years relationship, since they became best friends around three years prior.

“Minho invited me for a dinner night.”

“Wow, fancy,” actually Minho already texted him about the dinner a bit, how he wanted to introduce Jinki to some acquaintance he has, “He gave up on me so he went for the only option?”

“For the record, your mom agreed that I’m way much sexier than you.”

“Three years ago, before your cheek bones buried under those mount of fluffy fat.”

“Said a man who came to me and straight ahead told me I looked cute after leaving a piece of paper with their number on my table.”

“I will put aside the fact that I love how romantic you’re for still remembering our first meeting but let’s back to the right path here because I don’t like the upset you. It’s fucking annoying.”

“He introduced me to someone, Jonghyun.”

He let out inaudible gasp and thanked the universe Jinki’s still closing his eyes. Otherwise, he would stop at once and avoided any discussion of the main reason which distressed his ex-boyfriend. Knowing the scenario before hands didn’t prevent him with the sheer pain graze him when it came from Jinki’s mouth himself.

“So? Isn’t that great? Do you think it’s about time?”

“I was about to argue that two years are still not enough to get over you but I guess you’re not in the same page with me so I’d say that I’m not interested into some relationship whatsoever at this point.”

Jonghyun wanted to cry listening to such words. His heart clenched, he inhaled – a very long one – before he continued caressing Jinki’s forehead.

“I am flattered, but I know you’re just teasing me.”

“Ha, you know me so well.”

“I’m not gonna fall on the same hole, Lee.”

“You won’t. You’re too smart to repeat the torture on the loop.”

“It wasn’t a torture, Jinki. I love you as much as you do. Or maybe just slightly more.”

“Not a chance. I love you more.”

“Stop it or I will kiss you.”

“I dare you.”

“I told you I’m not gonna fall on the same hole.”

“Smart, very smart,” Jinki opened his eyes only to find Jonghyun sticking his tongue out, “Okay, so at first, I don’t like the idea already. You know I hate any type of match making method. Even the online one. But being there, I realized that my current focus doesn’t involved other party besides me, my business, and—“

“And your grandfather?”

Jinki looks annoyed, “Remind me to add ‘always-cutting-people-sentence’ on the list of reasons why I broke up with you when I’m writing my journal tonight.”

“It’s true. I think he was also the cock blocker during our relationship back then.”

“Dude, we’re talking about my gramps. And to put him on the same category with Minho is beyond weird.”

“We already broke up when Minho made his move, for Pete’s sake!”

“Okay, okay! No need to raise your voice, you’re so scary when you’re angry.”

“Then don’t make me! Now, now, can you please be a normal human being so we can talk like adults for once?”

Jinki pulled himself from the couch to the pantry, snatching a pack of cigarette on the tea table before slipped one on the corner of his mouth.

“Can you not smoking inside?”

He snorted and padded to the direction of his balcony. It’s in the middle of winter but he doesn’t care a bit to the wind ready to slaughter his bones. If tomorrow the cold prevented him to leave the bed, then let it be. For once, he just wants to free his mind from the business.

“You need to remember that I can only treat patient on certain age,” Jonghyun followed few minutes after with a blanket he spread as wide as possible to cover both of them without feeling suffocated for standing too close.

“The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends people be under pediatric care up to the age of 21, though.”

“Did you just quote Wikipedia? And we’re not in fucking States! Above and beyond, shame on your wrinkles!”

“Rude.”

“You’re the rude one to your lungs!”

“Then tell me how to ease my mind without nicotine! Tell me how to forget all those troubled night and just sleep! Do you think it’s easy taking care of worrisome business and messy family without distraction?! Stop talking non sense if you do know how to save my days!”

Any word seems taboo once Jinki exploded. Both man just staring into the dark evening below Jinki’s unit. People paraded as quickly as possible on the street to fight the harsh weather. It’s not that late, but only few cars passed by. The dim light of the street lamp’s soothing the tense atmosphere in a way.

Jonghyun leaned closer to Jinki’s arm and rested his head on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you with that.”

“I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

“You know that you can always talk to me right?”

“I’m tired bothering you. You already have a lot in your hands.”

“Besides my patients and Roo, there’s nothing really confiscated my time.”

Having someone like Jonghyun who would stand next to him, scold him then hug him right after, no matter how awful he behaved and treated the other man, Jinki every so often thinking what kind of good deeds he did in his previous life.

Jinki cocked his head, inhaling the trace of scent of Jonghyun’s favorite shampoo. Initially, he was about to kiss the top of his head, like he used to do when the other man leaned on him for whatever reason it was. He remember, though, the earlier period after their broke up – after settling their feelings for few months of course – the shorter man told him not to do that anymore because it was the doctor’s Achilles heel. So instead, he rubs his cheek over the thick hair, silently telling Jonghyun he’s sorry.

Some nights – especially right after that dinner date – he had thought, maybe one of the reason he reprimands Minho’s idea is just because he still has tiny hope that Jonghyun and him might had another chance in the future.

“From time to time, I was thinking that the more day passed, we’re closer to the image of friends with benefit.”

“Friends with benefit? Tsk,” Jonghyun slapped his forearm, “The only benefit I got from you is you’re the only perfect nanny for Roo when I’m away.”

“Those cups of coffee every single time you stopped by my shop?”

“Pfft. How stingy. I’m leaving.”

“Heartless.”

Jonghyun didn’t say anything more and returned inside to gather his things and called Roo. He desperately needs some hot shower. Somewhere inside him, he was expecting Jinki offering him to stay the night knowing how caring the man and the fact Jinki knows he bolted to the other’s apartment right away after landed.

When Jinki handed him the leash, that hope vanished in second.

“What if later I really considered this person? Or any other person collided with me on the future?”

Jonghyun smiled, he looks tired, but very sincere, “Then good.”

“Because I’m not gonna bother you anymore?”

“No. Because you’ll have someone to share the happiness with.”

***

cross-posted in my AFF

#shinee fiction #shinee scenario #LWFAWWE

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