#like genuine fun not like i need 12 other types of stimulation to get me engaged because i dont care about what im doing

[snakesnifter]

genuinely bought horizon zero dawn yeaterday (twas on sale for a mere 12 american dollars!) and im having sooooo much fun with it foe the firsttime in forever

[jungwonenthusiast]

hii can i request bestfriends heeseung and y/n who have never done anything together but one night while having a sleepover things just go in that direction 👀👀👀 (using prompts 8 & 12 please🥺)

A/N: this is such a cute concept i love it (u didn’t specify who says what so i chose lol i hope thats okay, I also made hee a soft dom)

Warnings: oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), unprotected sex, cock warming

Word count: 3k

You tap lotion onto your face as Heeseung pulls his sheet mask off. He pats the remaining product into his skin.

“You don’t even need that,” you roll your eyes. “Your skin is already perfect.”

“Jealous?” he teases.

“Yes, I one hundred percent am.” you admit and he chuckles.

You finish up in the bathroom and then plop onto your bed. Heeseung leans over you and grabs the remote on your nightstand. He clicks to Bojack Horseman as always then lays down next to you, scrolling through his phone.

You kick him in the shin. “Gimme some space.”

He frowns and sprawls himself on top of you. “What, you don’t wanna love on me?”

You laugh and try to push him off. “I feel violated.”

He rolls away, chuckling.

You’re scrolling through tiktok together when a video of someone joking about porn comes up. You cackle and Heeseung looks at you.

“How do you know about that?” he asks, wide eyed.

“What do you mean?” you ask awkwardly.

“Do you watch porn?” he asks and you turn away from him, giggling.

“That’s a very private question.” you say, covering your face with your hands.

“So you do!” he exclaims and he’s blushing too.

You guys talked about sex occassionaly, only when you were sharing stories about hook ups though.

“What kind do you watch?” he says, only half joking and you punch him in the shoulder.

“That’s an extremely private question.” you say.

“I thought we were for lifers.” he replies and you laugh.

If he were a female friend you wouldn’t hesitate to tell her all of this, but for some reason he made you shy. You still remember when you became aware that he was a guy. It was the summer before tenth grade when he grew three inches, his voice dropped, and his shoulders began to broaden. It was the summer you became more aware of his masculinity and ever since then, things kind of changed. Not for the worse, things are just different now. 

You continue to scroll when another scandalous tiktok comes up. It said something about wanting to be dominated and taken control of.

You groan. “Why do I keep getting these things?”

“The for you page gives you things that it knows you’d like.” he remarks and you scrunch your nose at him. “What? I think it was pretty hot.”

You choke. “You’re a bottom?”

“No!” he guffaws. “I meant to be the giver in that situation.”

“Ohhh,” you say, trying not to get too embarrassed. The thought of him doing that to someone drove you a little insane.

“Are you?” he asks and you shove him.

“You weirdo.” you accuse and he holds his hands up.

“I just think best friends should know these things about each other.”

You shrug him off and turn your phone off. “I don’t trust my phone anymore, let’s watch yours.”

You scoot over to him and rest your head on his shoulder.

He scoffs. “I thought you wanted space?”

“Are you complaining?” you tease.

“Of course not.” He fake yawns to get his arm around you and you cackle.

He taps a gentle beat onto your shoulder while scrolling through instagram. You can’t help but tense up in his embrace. He had been a bit more touchy than usual lately; random hugs, playing with your fingers, adjusting your clothes, and tying up your shoelaces whenever he could.

“Wow I do not like this.” he says at someone’s prom outfit.

“Me neither,” you frown. “It’s kind of outdated.”

“When’s our prom?” he asks.

“I think in a month.”

“We’re going together right?” he asks and your heart skips a beat. You figured that you’d go together but him asking you made you anxious.

“Yeah,” you try to sound confident.

“Are we gonna coordinate our outfits?” he lightly squeezes your side and you squeal.

“But we’re not going as a couple.” you say and he rolls his eyes.

“So? It’d be weird to show up together with mismatched outfits.” he says and you nod in agreement. “Do you have an idea of what you wanna wear?” he asks.

“I think I wanna go more simple and do black.” you say and he groans.

“You always wear black dresses.”

“And? I look hot in them.” you defend.

“You’re right you’re right.” he accepts defeat and you giggle.

As the night goes on you slowly slump further into Heeseung’s side. At one point his arm goes numb so you scooch in front of him and rest your back against his chest. You’ve gotten used to being so close to him, and at this point you just wanted more.

His arms are wrapped loosely around you as you watch Coraline on the tv. He reaches up to run his hand through his hair but instead punches you decently hard in the boob. You yelp and hold your chest.

“Ahh! Sorry sorry!” he holds your shoulders. “I’m sorry.”

You can’t help but laugh through your pain. “Trying to make me lose a boob or something?”

“Noo, no I’m sorry, forgive me.” he asks, sounding genuinely worried.

Sure you were exaggerating your reaction, but what’s wrong with having a little fun with him.

You elbow him in the side and he cries out.

“Revenge.” you say with a smug smile.

He waits a moment before grabbing your waist and flipping you onto your back. He’s always stronger than you would’ve guessed. You yell as he climbs on top of you and begins to tickle your sides.

You kick around and try to push him off but he won’t budge.

“Get off, I’m dying!” you cackle from his relentless tickling.

“You asked for it.” he says.

“I thought we promised no tickle fights?” you grab a pillow to protect yourself but he’s quick to chuck it away.

“I had my fingers crossed.” he jokes.

You muster all of your strength and hook your leg around him to get him onto his back, a trick Jungwon taught you.

Without thought, you climb on top of him and pin his hands down. It take you a moment to realize what position you’re in. You both freeze for a second before bursting out laughing.

You fall onto your back, holding your chest.

“What the hell was that?” he asks, laughing. “Some fifty shades of gray type of shit.”

You kick him in the shoulder. “I’m sorry!” you say through a fit of giggles. You try to push yourself up but your legs are bent in a way that makes it a little tough. Heeseung assists you and pulls you up into a sitting position by your waist.

You’re still giggling a bit when you feel his nose brush against yours.

“Hi.” you whisper and he waits a moment before gently pushing his lips against yours. Your heart leaps into your throat but you try to stay calm as possible.

He pulls away (to your disappointment) and looks at you with wide eyes.

“Fuck, I’m sorry-” he says and before he can finish your hold his face and kiss him back. His arms snake around your waist and he pulls you flush against him.

You can’t believe that this is happening. You wonder if all the things you’ve fantasized about would happen tonight. Of course not, you’re crazy, you think. But you could already imagine with hands adventuring your body, touching you just how you like it.

Your fingers dip into the back of his shirt collar. You’re barely touching his skin, but it still feels so special.

His lips move to your cheek, then your jaw, then your neck. Your breath becomes increasingly ragged as his kisses become more open mouthed and messy.

He looks up at you. “Is this okay? Like do you want this?”

You nod eagerly and he smiles. “Cute.” he says to himself.

He gently rests you onto your back and traces your waist before pushing your top up. He peppers kisses all over your stomach and ribs before getting to the band of your bralette.

You blush. “I would’ve worn something nicer if I knew this was gonna happen.”

He shakes his head. “I like it, it’s pretty.”

You tug your shirt over your head along with your bra. He lets out a small gasp and you rush to cover yourself.

“Wait, no no.” he pulls your hands away.

“You’re making me shy.” you turn your head away and he chuckles.

“So perfect.” he says before softly kissing your chest.

You let out a small moan while running your fingers through his hair.

He slowly runs his tongue over your nipples while rubbing your sides. You can feel wetness starting to pool in your underwear.

You instinctively swivel your hips, looking for some kind of stimulation and he smiles.

“Do you need something?” he asks teasingly and you feel your cheeks heat up.

“Yeah,” you answer.

“What is it?”

You shake your head out of embarrassment.

“Well you’re gonna have to tell me or I’m just gonna leave you like this.” he says nonchalantly and you sigh.

You swallow your pride. “Touch me, please?”

“Attagirl.” he says and tugs your shorts off. “Show me how you like it.”

Your eyes widen. “Huh?”

“You heard me,” he says. “Show me first.”

You breathe in nervously before sliding your hand into your underwear. You circle your clit once and do your best to hold in a moan. He pulls your underwear to the side to watch you.

“Do you think about me when you touch yourself?” he asks. “When you’re home alone and it’s late at night?”

You nod sheepishly and he smiles. “What do you imagine?”

“I’m not telling you,” you blush. “It’s embarrassing.”

“Don’t be embarrassed. If you tell me, I'll tell you what I think about too.” he suggests and you accept the deal.

“I-I imagine my fingers being yours,” you swallow thickly.

“Mhm,” he encourages you while gingerly kissing your thighs.

“And,” you hesitate for a moment. “I imagine your tongue on me, and you filling me up. What about you?”

He smiles. “I imagine touching you like this,” he rubs his hands down your thighs and reaches up to pinch your nipples. “I imagine kissing you here,” he kisses your inner thigh, “and here,” he kisses you so close to where you need him the most and you quiver. He grabs your hand and pushes your fingers into his mouth. Your eyes widen and he smirks. “You taste good.”

You nearly cum just from seeing and hearing that.

“I imagine doing this.” He lowers his head and licks a gentle stripe up your pussy. Your thighs snap around his head and he pushes them back open.

“Relax sweetheart, let me make you feel good.” he says before delving into you. Your back arches off the bed right away and your fingers find his hair. Goddamn he’s good.

He circles his tongue on your clit, hungrily but still gently.

“Fuck,” you exhale and he smiles.

He pushes a finger into you with ease and soon adds another. You roll your hips against his tongue as his fingers pump in and out of you. You whimper as the overwhelming pleasure runs through your body.

“Oh my god,” you squeak as your legs begin to shake. Already? You think.

His fingers stay at a steady pace as he messily sucks on your clit. You tug at his hair and he moans into you.

“Please don’t stop.” you beg and he obeys.

Your hips begin to lift off the mattress and he pins you down, keeping you in place. Your orgasm pours through you like sweet syrup, leaving you trembling under him.

He comes up to kiss you, letting you taste yourself. You wipe your juices off his chin with your thumb then lick it off.

He watches you in awe. “God you’re hot.”

You pull his hoodie over his head and push him onto his back. Your fingers trace his shoulders, then his waist, and every muscle on his torso. You kiss him down to the band of his sweats before pulling them down along with his Calvins.

His cock springs up and hits his lower stomach. You slowly kiss up his shaft then waste no time getting him in your mouth. He hisses and caresses your hair.

He hits the back of your throat every time you bob your head but you don’t care. His head drops back with a tempting moan.

“Fuck you’re good.” he says with a small smile.

You stroke the inches you can’t reach with your hand.

You wish you could imprint this image of him in your mind: his head lulling back, his adam's apple bobbing every time he swallows, his brows furrowing, his mouth parting open. You’re almost tempted to take a photo.

You take him all the way into your throat and swallow around him. The moan he lets out sounds better than a song.

You look up at him and watch him rake his hand through his hair. His abs contract every time you come down on him.

“Just like that,” he purrs, sending heat straight to your core.

You feel so dirty with your spit dripping down your chin but at the same time, it feels so good.

“Such a good girl,” he coos. “Sucking this cock so well.”

You nod at him and he smiles.

“Come here,” he pulls you into a position where he can reach you better and squeezes your ass. He tenderly traces his fingers down your spine before slowly pushing two fingers into you. You whine on his cock and he smirks.

“Still so wet.” he says while slightly curling his fingers, you jolt and he chuckles. “Feels good huh?”

You nod and he pets your hair. “Keep going, that’s it.”

His fingers pick up the pace as your sucking and licking becomes more sloppy.

His moans become more desperate and when he expects you to pull off you keep your head down, taking his cum down your throat.

“Did you just swallow?” he asks you, still breathing heavy.

You nod with a smile and he pulls you into a passionate kiss.

He flips you onto your back, eagerly kissing down your body before lining himself up with your entrance.

“Fuck me please,” you exhale and he smiles.

“Of course,” he pushes into you and you whine from the feeling. He stretches you out just right. “God you have good pussy.” he moans and you giggle.

He leans down to kiss you and you whimper into his mouth.

“Don’t stop,” you plead and he kisses your neck, sucking and nibbling to leave a hickey. “People are gonna see.” you say and he smiles.

“That’s the point.” he says. "Don’t you want people to know how good you are for me?”

You blush and nod.

“Give me one too sweetheart.” he says softly while leaning over you.

You rub up and down his sides while gently biting and licking at his neck, leaving a pretty red blush on his neck.

His fingers trail down to circle your clit while grinding his hips into yours. Your eyes roll back as he does so and he smiles. He can’t stop thinking about how captivating you are. He can’t take his eyes off you. Which gives him an idea.

He grabs your jaw and turns it to the mirror next to your bed. “Look at yourself.” he says.

Your heartbeat quickens, not used to seeing yourself in this state.

“Look how good you take it.” he says and you can’t deny it, you look hot as fuck.

He looks at you watching his cock disappear in and out of your cunt. You drag your hands over your waist and go to roll your nipples between your fingers.

His fingers are so slick on your clit from your juices and everything feels so good that you can’t really believe it.

He grabs onto the headboard for leverage and he looks so fucking good like this. Ever since he turned your head to the mirror, you can’t look away. You only turn to face him when your legs begin to shake and the fire in your stomach starts to dance.

“Please don’t stop,” you say with sparkling eyes. “I’m close.”

“Cum for me sweetheart,” he says right by your ear. “Be good.”

That alone sends you over the edge.

You’re back arches and your eyes roll back as your orgasm surges through you. He moans into your neck as he releases into you. You’re still pulsing around him when he finishes.

He kisses your cheeks as you come down for your high. “You did so well princess.”

You can’t help but cling to him and he chuckles. “I have to pull out of you eventually.”

“I like the way you feel.” you whine and he smiles.

You opt to cock warm him. He lays on his back and pulls you on top to straddle him. He gently pushes into you as you lay on his chest and enjoy the feeling.

He strokes your back and kisses your shoulder for a bit before he starts to subdtley thrust up into you.

You give him a look and he smiles at you sheepishly. “Wanna go again?”

[prof-peach]

Hey Prof, I need your advice.

My sister recently decided she didn't wanted her bulbasaur anymore (she got him on a whim about a month ago) and gave him to me, he is quite violent and tends to attack when I try to get close to him.

Now, that wouldn't be a huge problem, but my Purrloin has gotten hurt trying to befriend him, she's quite outgoing and never really liked fighting (we enjoy contests so she knows a few more flashy attacks), so she couldn't even defend herself properly.

I don't want to give up on him and my local rescue center is filled with Bunearies (you know, after Easter kids don't want their Bunny anymore) so they can't take him in right now, any advice in how I can go about this situation?

Sounds to me like you have a tricky little dude on your hands. So you're not battle orientated which will make this harder, Bulbasaur in the wild are actually quite combat minded to defend their families and territory, and a lot of their herds consist of strict hierarchy based on power and skill, often led by older, fully evolved members of their group. 

Before you take any actions to befriend them, its worth noting that any pokemon who comes into your care showing aggression is usually doing so for one or two reasons that are pretty universal for any species. Fear being the main issue with pokemon who have been ditched, if a pokemon is unwell, if it feels exposed, if it is unsure of you or your home, your partners, it may lash out because it is afraid. Even what looks like pure anger can stem from a fear. Of course some individuals are just full of rage, its not unheard of, but for the most part it comes from somewhere else. 

For a moment, take the time to put yourself in this pokemons shoes. It was chosen, with hopes and ambitions of its own, by your sister, a stranger to them, and for whatever reason they were cast aside. This reason may be unclear to the pokemon, it may be unfair, unkind, or even without malice just out of pure indifference. No matter the reason, this pokemon has been left behind by a trainer it at one point probably wanted to try to get along with. I don’t know what your sister may or may not have done, or provided for the bulbasaur, but it will help you understand how its feeling, if you were to ask her about their relationship prior to you receiving the pokemon. If it has always been aggressive and angry, i’d seriously consider talking to it about release, not rehome. 

We humans have a preconceived notion that pokemon are pets and things to keep with us. This may be true for some sure, but not every pokemon wishes to be a captive to a human, they may want more for themselves, and wish for a free life with their own kind. We cannot put our wants and desires above that of the pokemons, so you two need to have a talk, at a respectful distance for safeties sake, to see what the Bulbasaur feels they may want. These are herd pokemon, born and bred to be with their own kind, if not a larger group, if its lonely, if it wants to go home, to start a family, or simply to not be held in a ball as some creature to be owned, then you as its current carer must give it what you can. You can always find another pokemon who wants to be your partner, but you cannot give back lost years to a pokemon who has lived a life its unhappy with. Treat them with respect, and be open and honest. At the end of the day we have a chance to help pokemon, and forcing what we want onto them is a hinderance, and will lead to them feeling unsatisfied and bitter in the long run. 

Some pokemon lash out due to the process of being handed off to someone else, trust is earnt, not always just simply given to whoever holds the pokeball. Remember this as you move forward, and try to keep your other pokemon away from them, Bulbasaur are territorial species, and have to accept pokemon into their families before simply allowing them to come and go freely into their personal space. Despite their grouchy natures at times they usually do have a morally positive compass, and defend with ferocity when they love something. Perhaps in you showing genuine concern for their welfare and future, offering them not what you want, but instead what they want, they may give you a chance to get closer, but take baby steps, and try to be their friend above all else. I bet they're feeling pretty lonely right now. 

Its worth sharing interests with the pokemon, talk about contests, see if they're interested, some pokemon have a predisposition for this, others have no interest and prefer more battle based lives, or even peaceful non-competitive existences. no amount of pressure will change a pokemon’s nature, and some just aren't cut out for the fine art of showmanship that contests require. You can however use powerful attacks in showy ways, so theres always hope that they could enjoy it, if you can work with them to their strengths. 

If possible, work to getting them outdoors, cooping grass types up can lead to stroppy, testing personalities, many thrive in the outdoors, he may need some serious outside time to compensate for the lack of exercise and natural stimulation they may have not been getting prior to your ownership. There are plenty of areas in public that are much like tennis courts, areas of space you can book for a set amount of time too exercise difficult pokemon, these locations are often secure facilities, both outdoors and indoors, to suit a range of species. find one that has outdoor facilities and book a few hours per week to go there, increasing the time whenever possible. This exercise and time with you may help to find common ground, and topics that you and the bulbasaur can bond over. This can be anything from battles, to sun bathing, playing sports, games, swimming, running or digging, and everything in between. Bulbasaur naturally are great foragers and tend to like to snaffle about in long grass and shrubland, hiding treats like berry slices in a secure environment is good enrichment and can tire the pokemon out. a tired pokemon is usually a little less aggressive, having lower energy levels and less want to expend attacks. this process also associated you with something fun, and your scent will be on the treats too, so they'll know you were the one to provide this activity for them.   

I’d also take plenty of time to observe the bulbasaur, as your sister got them on a whim, they probably had no prior knowledge of the species, or how to correctly care for them. In a month, a health complaint could have begun to show, so observe their colouration, feet, walking gait, sleeping patterns, feeding habits, and general behaviour. Excess scratching, heavy breathing, or unusual shaking or moving can suggest a health condition is starting to take form. Most can be helped if caught early, but some illnesses give the pokemon discomfort, and can lead to snappy tempers and irritability. It could be that this individual is in pain, or finding life difficult due to its health, which can cause a lot of hostility as i’m sure anyone would agree. It can suck to be sick!

This species can be won over if you can prove you have a skill of worth to them. This is the case with a lot of pokemon, having respect for something they cannot do, and learning that they need things from you can lead to them at least tolerating us humans. Its a foot in the door. A trick i like t use with particularly difficult bulbasaur is to give them their fav food, whatever it is, then put it in a clear container the pokemon cannot open. They have no thumbs, and their vines though dexterous, aren't able to open every kind of container. The pokemon will want whats inside, and be unable to access it. they will eventually give up out of frustration. this is where you come in. enter the space, don’t let your pokemon approach as this can be threatening, and open the container. leave it on the floor open, making sure they've watched you get the thing open. They can then approach and enjoy their fav food, all thanks to you and those wondrous thumbs you have. repeating this process yields good results, and starts a mutual relationship of tolerance and acceptance between you and a bulbasaur. Most will accept they want the food more than they want you gone, and you provide something they can’t get to. whatever you do, don’t let them see that you were the one to lock the food up in the container. Get a friend to do it, or do it in the room, and leave it in place on the floor, before allowing the bulbasaur to enter and investigate the item. If they see you're the one doing it, the trick is foiled, and your back to square one. Eventually this does tend to lead to the pokemon becoming less stressed with you around them, and eventually it leads to trust, and even friendship. This trick is good to use to get them use to you, once they're ok with you being around them because of your use to them, they may start to take food from you directly, engage in play, or even just sit and tolerate company for short periods of time. Do not expect this to be quick, but it does usually do the trick. 

Regardless, i do have concern that the pokemon may want to be with its own, should you discuss this and find they're not interested in being housebound and a pet, feel free to send them our way, we had exactly this situation in mind when setting up the islands facilities, and have extensive locations designed with grass pokemosn needs at the forefront. Theres a small herd of about 12 bulbasaur evolutions that live north of our labs, no people see them, they are happy as a unit, and are left alone to go about their lives, with the only interactions between humans being us giving them their yearly health check, or should we spot them with an issue, we may intervene. They live away from others and pretty much free, in a poacher safe environment. Its not ideal, we like to keep pokemon in areas they come from, with people who love them, and you show great concern for the pokemon so it would be a shame to have to let them go, BUT sometimes thats just life, and theres nothing to be done about it other than accepting that the pokemons wants come first. They may just be mistrusting so try everything else first, and see how you go. hopefully you’ll yield some results from this all. Good luck out there trainer. 

[lassieposting]

ghasdug for couple questions if you like feeding me

1. Who said I love you first?

Ghastly. Mid-orgasm. The first time they slept together. He. Is. Mortified.

2. Who laughs and kisses their partner on the cheek while their partner isn’t happy about something trivial to try and make them feel better?

Skug. Ghastly has some inadequacy issues during their first century or so, mostly about being ugly and poor - he knows skug could do better. He's attractive, he's funny, he can be very sweet when he wants to be - he could make an excellent match with someone as landed and titled and wealthy as he is.

Skug does try to reassure him, but between his tactlessness and his tendency to not take anything seriously, he kind of sucks at it. Ghastly feels like his being "less than" is a big hurdle, while skug sees it as a trivial difference - he's much happier living with ghastly's family in their cramped farmhouse than he ever was at his parents' vast estate. So he tries to turn it into a joke - "good thing I'm handsome enough for both of us, then," - while completely missing the point that ghastly wants forever with him, and he's worried he's going to spend the rest of forever getting looked down on and whispered about because skulduggery could've done better.

3. Who cuddles up to the other after a long day at work, and this soon escalates to a playful pillow fight?

Ghastly is the cuddler. It escalates because skug is adhd as hell and cannot just lie still and snuggle for long without getting bored. He needs constant stimulation. He'll sit on the counter while ghastly works and chat for hours though, swinging his legs and passing over tools when ghastly needs them

4. What is something that they gave one another that has a lot of meaning?

Ghastly makes all skug's clothes, including his armour, because he doesn't trust anyone else to keep skug safe in battle.

Ghastly has skug's signet ring, which he found in the burned down-ruins of the pleasant family home after skug was killed. For decades, it's the only thing he had left of skug - the clothes ghastly made, the scarf wifey made, and the locket with wifey and skugbab's portraits inside were all cut away and burned, and the house was razed to the ground. Skug knows he has it, but he's never asked for it back.

5. How would one another describe their partner?

Skug would either deliberately misread the question ("What, haven't you seen him? How could you miss ghastly? He's...he's this high and built like a wall.") or come out with something explicit to deter follow-up questions.

Ghastly mostly talks about how annoying skug is, but it's? Endearing to him. At this stage of their lives, he is the only person who's actually happy to listen to like, an eight hour infodump with no breaks. Skug is. A Lot to handle and society does not have the terminology for him yet.

6. Who wraps their arms around their partner as they look them in the eyes and compliments them with a goofy smile?

Ghastly. Skug, under all the vanity and egocentrism, has critically low self-esteem and very little self-worth. He's the Family Scapegoat, and got the lion's share of the abuse before he ran away, so he absolutely melts for compliments. The boy has praise kink up the wazoo. Ghastly will happily feed his ego to watch him get the smile and the sparkly eyes and puff up like a proud peacock.

7. Who loves saying ‘my wife’ or ‘my husband’ or ‘my spouse’?

They don't really have this tbh? Not only is the vocabulary of the period insufficient, they see the relationship differently.

Skug is like. Anxious-avoidant attachment personified. He doesn't like to get too close. He falls in love with ghastly a long time before he's able to admit it to himself, let alone anyone else. He essentially treats their relationship like a fuckbuddies kind of deal, and he feels safe like that, because he can't be hurt by someone he doesn't care about. He can't be let down or abandoned by someone who has no commitment to him in the first place. Admitting he loves ghastly leaves him vulnerable, and if he's learned anything in his childhood, its that vulnerable people are the ones who get hurt.

Ghastly on the other hand considers skug his boyfriend, and there's no equivalent term from the 1500s. "Gentleman caller" hardly applies when you live under the same roof and share a room (and, more often than not, a bed), so nobody is calling on anyone. Privately, he thinks of skug as his lover, but he knows skug is allergic to intimacy, so he keeps that to himself for the most part.

So ghastly usually introduces skug as "this is my - this is skulduggery pleasant" and skug usually introduces ghastly as "this is my dear friend, ghastly".

8. Who always talks about how amazing their partner is when their partner isn’t there and they just light up with genuine love and happiness?

Ghastly. Skug is his first love, and he's completely lost in it. He's had crushes before, on pretty girls who only ever spoke to him to enquire after his "handsome brother", and strapping young men at market who avoided looking at him to speak to his father, but he's never felt anything like this before. He lives with skug. He sees him first thing in the morning and last thing at night, he sees him happy and depressed and drunk and furious, he kisses him and fights with him and fucks him and defends him and laughs with him and cries with him and for years and years, they're inseparable. He's? Completely unprepared for how hard he falls for skug.

9. Who loves it when their partner kisses them good morning?

Ghastly. Drowsy morning skug is snuggliest skug. He doesn't get as many snuggles as he'd like, tbh, because skug is active and easily distracted and doesn't like staying still for too long, but in the early morning is when he's most likely to be warm and cuddly and relaxed, and when he's least concerned about keeping ghastly at arms length. He'll pull skug back against his chest and he'll wiggle round to press a sleepy kiss to the corner of ghastly's mouth and tuck his head under ghastly's chin, and he'll doze off again with his hand stroking idly up and down skug's spine.

10. Who shows the other how to balance a spoon on their nose?

Ghastly.

11. Who loves to pull pranks on the other? What type of pranks do they pull and do they pull their pranks off?

Skug likes to pick up the absolute ugliest thing he can find while shopping and pretend he loves it while ghastly cringes and swears blind that he will not be seen with you while you're wearing that thing, skulduggery, so help him god. What usually happens is that skug pulls his new purchase to pieces as soon as they get home, and then gets ghastly to make it up better.

12. What is something small that they would randomly pick up for one another?

Skug taught ghastly to read, so he'd bring home books for him while he was learning and get ghastly to read to him, lying with his head in ghastly's lap and lazily correcting his pronunciation or reminding him how to sound out the words.

Ghastly doesn't have the sort of disposable income skug does, so he makes him things instead, like stylish hats with feathers in them, even though he personally hates that fashion and is delighted when it dies.

13. Who is the one who can’t stop laughing when trying to tell a joke?

Skug. Ghastly loves watching him laugh till he chokes though. He adores seeing skug happy.

14. Who would plan the other a surprise birthday party?

Ghastly. Skug is an attention whore, he loves that kind of thing. An entire event all for him? Hell yes, baby

Ghastly himself, on the other hand, is painfully insecure and selfconscious at this stage of his life, and he'd be mortified at being the centre of attention like that. Skug is a vain, arrogant dick, but he's not cruel. He wouldn't make ghastly feel bad for funsies.

15. Who picks the other person up when hugging their partner?

Ghastly picks skug up. There's not much of a height difference between them, just two inches, but teenage skug is a lanky little twink and ghastly could benchpress him, which skug is rabidly horny over. Because, you know, muscles.

Once they join the army and skug fills out and gets all lean and fit and strong, ghastly can still pick him up, but he absolutely complains that he weighs a ton now.

Adult skug can lift/mostly carry ghastly in an emergency, like if he's injured and needs to be helped back to camp or carried off a battlefield. But it's difficult, and ghastly is really too heavy for him, so picking him up isn't something he'd do for fun. Teenage skug can't pick ghastly up at all.

[malliebuu]

Escort Service:

Escort Service

 Day 3: Just This Once…

 Author’s Note: All of my 2017 October smutfest prompts are connected. I have links at the bottom of each submission for easier navigation. Enjoy!

 ..

 ..

It wasn’t meant to be taken seriously. Not at all. Especially when a male counterpart was concerned. He had bought the girls all drinks, and had been making eyes with Bulma in particular. He had showed interest in her from the start, which she had been genuinely flattered. She had never been one to turn down attention from an attractive man. When she wasn’t in a relationship, of course, and that she extremely was; single.  

 Bulma felt from the beginning it was completely unnecessary to prolong this little game he had going on. She didn’t want to fuel the fire. She originally had absolutely no intentions of leading him to believe anything would or could happen. Especially from the start. One usually doesn’t intend on making any moves based on a single drink. Though, what helped move things along, in her mind, was Juu’s pep-talk. She had spoken to her honestly. To Bulma’s shameless discovery, she learned something about herself. She was making her way down a path of seclusion, and by no way was this beneficial. No, she hadn’t for a long time. Juu was right. She didn’t need to sleep with twenty men in order to feel needed or loved. No, that wasn’t what Juu intended or wanted.

 Bulma knew she didn’t need to fool around to get Yamcha out of her system, but she could have some fun. Even if it was involved, sex between two consenting adults in a healthy environment was sometimes needed, or ‘ok’, right? No, she just needed to be herself and enjoy life as it came. She had always been the one to take life as it came. She enjoyed the ride, making healthy well thought out decisions-- sometimes-- No one is perfect.

 That woman she had left behind was fun, spontaneous, and edgy. She said what was on her mind, did what she felt necessary and didn’t give a shit what anyone thought. Not only that, but before she would have basked in the attention the opposite sex offered her. Attention was something she enjoyed and appreciated. She harnessed her strong will and enjoyed the satisfaction of knowing she could bring about the same sense of appreciation in others. She felt like the shell of a woman that once was. Juu had been even more blatant than usual these past few weeks. She had been harshly asserting her opinions from the moment her short lived relationship ended, no doubt, but Bulma needed to come back. The Bulma who everyone knew and loved needed to push past this sense of uselessness and move on. Juu was right. She needed to have fun. She needed to embrace what was happening tonight. She didn’t need to do anything dramatic, but she could be a little scandalous. Shit, maybe she would do something a little dramatic. Just this once...

 ..

 ..

 He had a nice smile. His teeth were perfectly white and straight. He had a small dimple on his right cheek when he grinned and a beauty mark just below his eye. His eyes were something of a different breed, as well. They were expressive and emotion filled when he spoke, yet there was something else; something dark. When he engaged a person it felt like he was reading the, learning their inner most darkest of secrets. It intrigued her, yet scared her at the same time.

 He was an enigma.

 Though, if there was one thing she did know about him, he was a passionate dancer.

 He had taken the lead immediately. With care, he guided her through the masses, urging her to stay close. They arrived in front of the multi-level stage located just under the DJ. He grinned again, pulling her close, brushing his lips to the side of her face. Her palms pressed tightly to his chest, feeling the heat of his breath against her face. The beat from the six-foot speakers radiated a pleasant caressed over them, causing her eyes to close.

 “I told you we were going to dance. You ready?” His silky voice inquired.

 Bulma bit her lower lip, opened her glittering blue eyes and nodded, wrinkling her nose as a hazy wave overcame her.

 He moved behind carefully pressing her bare back flush to his chest. His large palm spanned her midsection, pressing tightly only to glide her back so her round rear formed snugly against the front of his pants. Bulma’s breathing hitched in her throat, finding it impossible to breath. His actions surprised her. He wasn’t shy. Her palms extended awkwardly, finding it utterly impossible to locate a home for them. Almost as if he felt her discomfort, Vegeta leaned in, feeling his lips dangerously close to the shell of her ear.

 “Relax,” He urged, pressing his palm tightly against her stomach as he rocked their hips back and forth, finding the tempo.

 Bulma nodded, wetting her dry lips and allowed her arms to relax at her sides. Her eyes drifted downward as she felt his palm move. She watched as his fingertip toyed with the material of her blouse. She wanted to respond, but felt it was best to allow him to take the lead. Something told her he was very capable of taking the lead in all things. He seemed to be the type of man that molded things to him liking and image. Her palm then rested instinctively to his. Her hips rolled back, meeting him strongly, only added more sensuality to the mix. The soft catch in his throat told her he was enjoying her boldness.

 As the tempo of the song continued to escalate, so did their movements. His palm came down, stroking the soft flesh of her upper arm, guiding it upward and over her head until her palm rested on the thick, unruly locks upon the back of his head. His fingers spread wider upon the soft flesh of her stomach, drifting up dangerously close to the swells of her breasts. Hot breath burst from her lungs.

 “You’re beautiful,” He muttered against her earlobe. Heat pooled through her belly, nearly causing her to lose balance.  

 The hem of her sheer blouse came up just above her belly button. Bulma glanced down, feeling the remanence of cool air caress over her now bare flesh. She hesitated and quickly shifted her palm from his neck to her stomach, attempting to hide her skin. He immediately caught her wrist and pulled it back. Her suitor placed his chin upon her shoulder, running his lower lip against the soft skin of her shoulder. He was shaking his head.

 “Don’t hide. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.” Bulma released a soft nervous laugh, biting her lower lip and slowly resumed their motions.

 She stayed this way for a while, caught to his chest until she made the conscious decision to turn toward him, pressed her curvaceous form against his muscled chest. He seemed to like this very much, and so did she. His palms brushed over her sides, gliding over the swells of her ass. So comfortable she became, that Bulma even made the bold attempt of stroking her fingers over his shoulders and down to his pectorals. Surprisingly she wasn’t ashamed.

 Bulma originally had no intentions of seducing this man, but thanks to the alcohol and a little physical stimulation, she was ready to leave with him at this point. She was becoming weak. The end of the highly stimulating song brought her back to reality once more, however. How long had they been embraced, dancing in this fashion?

 “I need to find my friends.” Bulma whispered into his ear, pulled back from him, giving herself some much needed time to cool down.  

 His onyx eyes were roving, however, his intense gaze fell and was replaced by a look of  concern, “You are leaving?”

 Bulma grinned softly, placing a palm to her cheek, “I have to leave at some point. It is getting late.”

 Vegeta shuffled her to the edge of the dance floor, closer to the bar where it was comparably less noisy. Lifting his watch, pressing a button and illuminating the screen, the man grinned playfully, “It is only 12:30.”

 Running a hand through her damp hairline, Bulma crossed her arms over her chest, “Look, I know what you want.”

 Gripping her palm, the dark haired man directed her toward two vacant bar seats. She sat down, sighed in sweet surrender as the pressure from her toes was quickly alleviated. He didn’t say anything to her remark. Instead he ordered her a water and himself his drink of choice-- they, of course, were reminded twice not to forget his three olives.

 Her dark haired dance partner licked his lips, taking a small swig of his freshly made dry martini. He sighed and casually leaned against the bartop.  His calculating eyes were finally glancing her way. They broke contact only once as he nodded to the chilled glass of water, indicating she needed to hydrate. Bulma smiled sweetly and took up the straw, sucking down half of the glass’ contents.

 “You know,” Bulma said, clearing her throat, “If you want to sleep with me, all you have to do is ask.” Her eyes focused on the cubes floating freely in her glass.

 She tightly gripped and toyed with the straw, finding it damn near impossible to look him in the eye at this point. Especially after what she allowed escape her mouth. Heat flushed across her cheeks, cursing herself twenty different ways in her mind, still not being able to believe she even said that outloud.

..

 Oh well, it isn’t like I am planning on marrying the guy…

 ..

 She felt him lean in. The heat of his gaze was a hard thing to ignore. His thighs straddled her crossed legs, placing his palm against the bare skin of her knee. His thumb traced circles against the flesh, leaning in closer only to cup her chin, lift her gaze and press a wordlessly, breathtaking kiss to her lips.

 She only flinched at first when he boldly took what he wanted. Though, she wasn’t offended. No, her body responded quite well. She groaned against his mouth, and even leaned in as him, attempting to take more than what he could give in such a public place. He pulled away abruptly, offering a smirk as his lidded eyes scanned her face.

 “I’m not cheap.”

 Bulma giggled, placing a palm to her lips. She went to respond, but the words died in her throat as a happy squeal broke her concentration.

 “There you are!” Juu shouted, causing the duo to abruptly pull apart.

 “Jesus, Juu, where have you been?” Bulma asked, smoothing her garments over her thighs.

 “Dancing. We figured you two needed your own space,” Juu winked, leaning in to whisper the last part, “If you know what I mean.”

 “Stop.” Bulma shook her head, shifting a watchful eye toward her handsome admirer. He was too busy sipping on his martini to even notice or care about the exchange happening between her and Juu.

 “Look, Chi-chi is done. The bouncer if force feeding her water, literally with a spoon. I told him I was going to look for you and to watch her. I don’t want to leave her for long. I think I am going to have her spend the night at my place tonight just in case, you know? Do you need me to get you an ubber? I have the app pulled up.” Juu inquired, shifting a side glance toward their unusually silent patrone.

 “You don’t have to do...” Bulma shook her head, waving her palm dismissively.

 “Too late, already ordered. Go home. Drink lots of water. Are you going to be ok if I leave?” Juu asked, wrapping an arm around her blue haired friend’s neck and placing a wet kiss to her cheek. The blonde pulled back and looked her in the eye.

 “Yeah, I was planning on leaving here soon anyway.” Bulma offered a reassuring smile.

 “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Her friend whispered in her ear enthusiastically. Something told her it was more mocking than anything.

 “Don’t you worry. I won’t.” Bulma retorted in a sing-song voice and shoved her away, “Go back to Chi. Call you tomorrow!”

 “Love you!” Juu called over her shoulder as she ran in her heels toward the exit.

 Bulma took one more swig of her water before standing abruptly. Shifting her skirt down her thighs, she turned to face him. One arm was rested casually upon the bar top, the other resting upon the top of his thigh. His dark onyx eyes focused upon the olives garnishing his drink. Biting her lower lip, she turned toward the nearest bartender currently washing glasses and waved for a pen. Taking up the pen and a napkin, Bulma quickly wrote down her address.

 “If you are staying around the area later.” Bulma glided the napkin toward his half full glass, “I, uh, don’t live far from here. Only if you want to, of course.”  She uttered softly, tucking a soft strand of her hair behind her ears in a nervous fashion.

 His index finger traced the edge of the napkin, casually looking up to meet her stare. The corner of his lip quirked, amused by her behavior.

 “Look, I don’t usually do this… um.” Bulma whispered, continuing to nervously chew her lower lip.

 “I am not judging you.” His gruff voice cut her off, “We all have needs.”

 A soft, knowing smile formed on her lips, “Uh, ok, well, I am going to go. Nice to meet you.”

 Lifting his martini glass up to his lips a coy grin formed, “Remember what I said earlier.”

 Confused, Bulma nodded her acknowledgement, wordlessly drifting toward the exit. She didn’t dare turn back to get one last look. Once she knew she wasn’t in his line of vision, she closed her eyes for the briefest of moments, questioning her sanity. Was she crazy? Giving this man she had only met a few hours ago her personal address. Offering to come to her home and fuck her? Yep, she was insane.

 ..

 Shit. Shit. Fuck. Fuck.

 ..

 Almost making it to the door, a warm hand gripped her wrist only to spin her around. Vegeta cupped the back of her neck, kissed her deeply and pressed his lips tightly to her ear.

 “Go home. I still have half a drink. Get into the sexiest lingerie you own. I will meet you at your door. Make sure you are wearing it when I arrive.” Slowly, his palm drifted over the middle of her back, descending until he cupped her rear end tightly in his palm. Bulma released a surprised gasp, looking him intently in the eye. Her lips dropped open, eyes wide as she nodded her understanding. He released her and left her without another word.

 …

 Jesus… what am I doing?

 …

 ..

..

 Up next: Striptease

..

:Day 1_Day 2_Day 3_Day 4_Day 5_ Day 6_Day 7_Bonus Day 8_Bonus Day 9:

[broke-ass-twat]

Can I have all the numbers for all the things?

First of all, I’d like to say that you are dead to me and that I hope thy end is with the end of the universe. I hope that you ] watch as all of creation fades from being and all of your friends and family are dead and gone so long beforehand that their existence means nothing to something as eternal as you. All is empty and nothing matters. Slowly, as everything collapses, you welcome the release of not existing at all only to learn that you are all that is.

On to the questions! I’m somewhat tipsy so this should be interesting

1.First kiss?

I suppose the first kiss I had was on a dare so some random dude I don’t give a shit about. Actual first kiss would be with my first partner and it was rather nice as we had just started dating that day and they asked if we could kiss then immediately after that we made out. I’ve gotten sorta better at it since then but I guess being taught that is just sort of how I kiss now. A lot of fun that was.

2. First time masturbating?

I think my first time was in about 5th grade. Details here are unneeded but were milf-y in nature.

3. First sex toy?

Never had a sex toy. Hands work well enough

4. First kink tried?

Ummm. I don’t think I’ve tried anything particularly kinky although I have been sort of dom or sub at points.

5. First time doing oral?

With my first partner. When I was like 18 or something. Good experience all around. Still sort of curious about their thoughts on it though I can’t imagine it was mind-blowing.

6. First time having sex?

Same as above

Turn Ons

1. Biggest turn on?

The person being into what I’m doing. So basically validation that I’m good at what I’m doing but genuine and not just to appease me.

2. Biggest turn off?

Opposite of the above. Also probably a lack of effort on their part. I don’t wanna do everything.

3. Quickest way to get horny?

…..

Surprise me in a good way

4. Weirdest thing that ever turned you on?

Watercolor paintings that were just really well done

5. Top 3 places to be touched?

Umm. This is like tmi even for me. I’ll leave it out at just make out with me really nicely. Passionately but not urgently. Nice and slowly.

6. Ultimate fantasy?

Don’t have one in mind.

7. Do you like the idea of a three or moresome?

Not particularly. If I were intoxicated I’d be more open to the idea

8. Do you send nudes? Do you like receiving them?

I do send nudes and I really like receiving them especially if I’m not expecting it.

Preferences

1. Sex or masturbation?

Sex by far. Up until recently i’d say masturbation but the feel of comfy sex and the dynamic of another person is so much more fun. At times I’d say about even however. It depends. Sex is preferable however.

2. Spit or swallow?

I have like no opinion on this as I do neither. 

3. Cut or uncut dicks?

Aesthetically cut

4. Rough or sensual sex?

Sensual. Its much more fun when sex is occasionally rough. But normally I prefer sensual.

5. Oldest person you’d sleep with?

About a year older than me. I thought it’d meant oldest person I’d slept with but I’d probably sleep with someone up to like a decade older than me.

6. Loud or quiet partners?

I do like loud but quiet is fine as well. I just like to know when I’m doing something right.

7. How much foreplay do you like?

A decent amount but not a huge amount. I dunno. It depends on the partner.

8. How much teasing do you like?

I’m rather impatient so I don’t per se like too much teasing but in doses it can be nice.

9. What is too big for you to take?

I don’t take anything sooooo… 0 inches? Experimentation would probably have a prerequisite amount of alcohol.

10. Do you do hookups or only sleep with a partner?

I can hook up with a partner although I’d say that’s more rare than standard

11. How much kissing do you like during sex?

Honestly a hard question. I really really like intimacy but that can be sacrificed if something feels really good or is really hot. So it depends on the situation.

12. What’s the most attractive part of the body?

That’s highly variable but I’d tend to say the face.

Location

1. Favourite place to have sex?

In a bed.

2. Would you have sex in public?

Yah probably. Already have.

3. Last place you had sex?

In a bed

4. Where would you most like to have sex?

Still in a bed. I suppose a really nice rooftop would be a lot of fun.

5. Do you like spontaneous sex, or do you need to be in the mood?

Spontaneous sex is really fun sex. It doesn’t take too much to get me in the mood

6. Could you go through with a hookup at a strangers house?

Yah I probably could. I mean if I’m having sex with them chances are I have a rather good opinion of the person and know them to some extent. I think I’d have to be pretty drunk to just sleep with someone out of nowhere.

I just fucking stopped caring about formatting and might fix it later.

Kinks

What’s your biggest kink?

I don’t really have specific kinks. More like I have vague ideas of them and don’t care enough or feel comfortable enough to say them.

What’s your limit?

I don’t like pain that much

Are you okay with name calling in bed?

Name calling is alright I guess?

Would you do any BDSM?

Yah. I can do some light domination or be a sub but with just domination not pain.

Do you prefer to tie somebody up or be tied up?

Either. i don’t think I have a preference

Favourite type of bondage?

Don’t have one

Do you like orgasm denial/forced orgasm?

I think I would.

Do you like overstimulation?

Sort of. It’s a little much sometimes.

Do you like having pain involved?

No

Do you like biting/being bitten?

Lightly

Have you ever been made to/made somebody beg for it?

I’ve sort of made someone beg for it and that was a lot of fun. I think its fun in doses but if it was regular it might make it less interesting

Do you have any strange or extreme kinks?

No I don't 

Have any roleplaying preferences?

Nope

Send a kink with this number. Do you have that kink?

What? Also I really have to say tumblr has some incredibly shit formatting and it really bothers the fuck out of me.

Masturbation

Do you own sex toys? How many?

No.

Favourite Sex Toy?

Don’t have one

What do you masturbate to?

Porn.

How often do you masturbate?

Probably at least once a day

How often do you use sex toys to masturbate?

I dont

Do you masturbate with penetration?

No

Do you go for multiple rounds or settle at one or no orgasms?

When i’m having sex I can go for up to 3 rounds. Masturbation generally ends at one. with a protocolary session.

Oral

Do you enjoy giving oral?

Sort of.

Do you prefer giving or receiving oral?

I think I like receiving more.

What makes you orgasm the fastest when receiving oral?

I have never orgasmed from oral

Do you have a preferred technique for giving oral?

Licking out the ABCs has worked pretty well. I like also licking out circles or just aggressively up and down. Thats sort of the extent of my oral tbh. i do have some variation

Can you deep throat?

I don’t think so

For people with dicks…

How long and how thick is it?

Above average length and thickness. About 6 inches and magnums work better cuz of a lil above average thickness

Do you do anal? Top or bottom?

I do not.

Are you circumcised?

yes

Do you like your balls being played with?

Lightly yeah

Do you enjoy prostate stimulation? Ever came from it?

Have not had it done

Where do you like to finish?

Inside if I can honestly. Otherwise just outside.

Sex

Favourite position?

Missionary or cowgirl.

How often do you do unprotected sex?

Like most of the time at this point

How loud are you in bed?

Not very

Do you enjoy having nipples played with?

Yeah

Do you like/dislike/love/hate cum?

I mean its always mine so pretty indifferent

How good are you at dirty talk?

Mediocre if I had to guess

Do you get sleepy after an orgasm?

Sometimes

Other

Do you like wearing/seeing people in lingerie?

Yes

Do you masturbate or have sex with clothes on?

Occasionally

What’s your favourite style of underwear?

Lacey

Are stockings/thigh highs a turn on?

Yes

Ever had somebody say no to a kink you suggested trying?

Nope

Do you trim, shave or leave pubic hair untouched? How do you prefer partners?

I trim. I prefer partners trimmed or shaved

How many orgasms can you have in a day?

Like 4 or so within a short period

How many other people know your dick/bra size?

Like 3 or so I’d say

What do you wear to bed?

Just underwear or nothing. Occasionally pajamas

Do you eat ass? Do you like having your ass eaten?

i’d eat ass and have never had my ass eaten

Try to describe how orgasm feels for you.

A little tingly and my mind goes a little blank for a bit.

Have you ever been to a strip club? How was it? If not, would you?

I have not and I would although I’m unsure how much I would enjoy it

Fun questions!

Do you name your genitalia?

No

What would be your stripper name?

I would never be a stripper

Any funny sex stories?

Not really

What food if any would you use during sex?

Whupped cream or honey 

Would you give somebody a sex toy as a gift?

Yes

What’s the weirdest porn you’ve ever seen?

Umm. Probably extreme anal insertion

Do you often get horny in public?

No not really

Ever used something that isn’t made for sex in the bedroom?

I don’t believe I have

Have you ever walked in on somebody or been walked in on?

Nope

Do you have any friends you’d sleep with?

Probably all of the ones that are female that I have. Unless i find them unattractive which I don’t think has happened yet

Some real creepy shit, get your fix.

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

I would certainly hope my girlfriend meant it

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

Yes considering that I’m only 20. I’d obviously have to find them mature enough

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

With an essay that a teacher graded where I didn’t like the grade but agreed with the commentary and was happy about it. The grade made sense with the commentary although I wanted more.

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

Rarely

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

I suppose frustrated or aggravated probably.

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

Nothing at the current moment

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

I am wearing a grey Tulane sweatshirt, navy hanes boxers, and black speckled sort of shorts with gold zipper pockets

8. How often do you listen to music?

Fucking often

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

Jeans for sure

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?

This post must be dated as fuck

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

More antisocial just out of mild social anxiety

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

I have not

13. What about ‘R’?

Also have not

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

I straight up can’t drive

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

I’m sort of vain so yeah

16. Are you going out of town soon?

In about a week

17. When was the last time you cried?

I think its been a week or two

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

Yes

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

Probably not but green or a stormy color would be cool

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

Nah not really

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

Well i’ve technically started this day tipsy sooooo… Not the healthiest way to start a day

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

It would really depend on the guy

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

Nope

24. What are you sitting on right now?

A fucking chair

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

Yes

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Yeah

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

Um. My room mate

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

Not particularly

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

I’m not wearing a shirt. I’m wearing a sweatshirt and thats from my university’s website

30. Does anyone hate you?

Probably but I also don’t care about them

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

I thankfully do not.

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

Not really honestly. With other people more so

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

No

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

None of them

35. Did you have a dream last night?

Probably

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Yesterday

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

Perhaps

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

I know someone has feelings for me and I know of at least two other people that did

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Maybe my room mate but probably not

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

I think so

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

Why yes I was

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

Yes

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Probably

44. What’s the best part about school?

The people

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

I have very few but I do.

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

No

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

Annoyingly often

48. Were you single over the last summer?

Nope

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

Sort of

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

An essay

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

No

52. Are you nice to everyone?

No

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

I think so

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Definitely wtf

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

Pretty decent

56. Do you think you like someone?

I know I do

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

I have

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

Girls. I just find them more attractive and easier to talk to in general

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

Yeah

60. Do you hate anyone?

Yes

61. How’s your heart?

Physically and emotionally fine I think 

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

Probably

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

As a result of a guy but not over one

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

Don’t know don’t care really

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

No

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

Most certainly not

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

Depends on what and how often I’d say

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

Thankfully not

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

My stepfather

70. How do you look right now?

Probably fine

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

I think so

72. Can you commit to one person?

Yes

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

Yes

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

No. I have felt sort of used or abandoned though

75. Did you wake up cranky?

I certainly have

76. Are you a jealous person?

Not particularly

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

Definitely

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

Yeah

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

Yeah

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

Write a pretty lengthy essay

81. Last person you cried in front of?

My roommate’s girlfriend

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

Probably

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

Yes

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

We’d prolly be cuddling

85. Are you over your past?

No I don’t believe I am although I hope I can eventually be

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

Hell yeah

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

No I thik not but it’s a possibility

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

No as we both have different things we’re doing right now and different focuses and obligations

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

Yes

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

I don’t think so

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

Probably

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

Yes

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

No

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

I was not

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

Yes

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

They’re cute

97. Who do you have texts from?

A bunch of people

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

Have fun with that. I’d be pretty fucking sad though

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yes

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

Myself

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

I don’t believe so

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

Yes

[freshgardencollector-univer-blog]

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[russellthornton]

15 Dating Rules for Men that’ll Transform Your Dating Game

Fellas, if you think dating a girl is taking her for coffee and trying to get into her pants, think again. These dating rules for men are necessary.

I know you probably thought dating was a lot simpler. You ask a woman out, she gives you her number, you take her to a movie, buy her popcorn, and try to make out with her. Then you change your status on Facebook to “in a relationship” and you’re good to go. Well, it’s not that easy, especially nowadays, there are dating rules for men to follow.

Back in the day, there was a certain procedure you did when you wanted to date a girl and the stakes were much higher. Now, you can go on multiple dates, have friends with benefits, all these different types of things.

The 15 dating rules for men you must follow

So, understandably, the rules for dating have become a tad blurry. I mean, for example, I have friends that use Tinder to date while others just use it for sex. So, you see how blurry the dating world can be.

Nonetheless, these dating rules quietly float under the surface, rules which all women look at when they’re on a date. Not sure what they are? Don’t worry, I’ll let you in on what’s going on.

#1 Have a plan. This is the first of the dating rules for men you need to remember. You may hear some women say that they don’t need the guy to have their date planned out. Now, that’s all fine and dandy. When you pick her up and ask her what she wants to do, you’ll see her eyes glaze over with slight disappointment.

You don’t need to have every minute planned, but do have at least one or two options for the date. That way, you propose both ideas and see if she’s interested in either one. [Read: 12 creative date ideas to have fun on a budget]

#2 Put the phone away. We notice, trust me. If you constantly check your phone or text people, it’s not a good look. Even playing with your phone in your hand is a bad idea. Just put your phone away. If you can’t leave your phone for an hour, either the date isn’t going that well or you have an addiction. [Read: The 10 biggest dating turn offs for women]

#3 Don’t ask the question. We, women, know what this question is but men seem to constantly ask this question without seeing how bad of a move it is. Do not ask her, “How is someone like you single?” It shows your level of insecurity. Plus, it also suggests that there’s something wrong with her. Avoid this question because it does more damage than good.

#4 If you ask, listen. Some men seem to ask questions on dates, which is great, but then when it comes to listening to the answer, they ignore it. They reply with “yeah” or “cool.” Shockingly, women have brains, so you can only imagine how stimulating this must be for us.

This is one of those dating rules for men that most guys just don’t remember. If you ask a question, listen to the answer. If you don’t want to hear the answer, then perhaps you need to go on a date with your hand instead. [Read: The truth behind what women look for in a man]

#5 Leave your ex out of the date. This is one of those basic dating rules for men you can never, ever ignore. No one wants to hear about your ex, especially on a first date. Yes, you can talk about your past relationships, that fine, but wait until a couple dates down the road before you unload your baggage on them. Let’s just get through the first date.

#6 Don’t ask her how the date is going. No, no, no, no, no, no. This is a complete buzz kill. Listen, I get that you may want your ego stroked, but don’t ask her how the date is going at any point. I have nothing to compare it to, but, this happened to me and I was automatically turned off. It’s almost like you ask that question just to see if there’s a possibility of sex at the end of it.

#7 To pay or not to pay. This is a tricky one. In my personal opinion, if you ask her out on a date, then you should pay—at least the first one. This is also a good test to see if she even offers to pay. Whether she’s expecting you to pay or not, it’s always nice to offer. Maybe I’m just old school, but I think if you ask for someone’s time, you pay. [Read: 10 unfair but very relevant dating rules we all have to live by]

#8 Keep the date interesting, yet simple. You don’t need to pick her up in a helicopter with a dozen roses. I mean, that would be kinda cool, but there’s nothing wrong with dinner. One guy I dated took me to a burlesque show. That was probably one of the best dates I’ve ever been on. It was simple, but the show was amazing. After we went for a beer. See? Nothing really extravagant, but memorable.

#9 Don’t assume you two are together. If this is your second or third date, this still doesn’t mean that you two are an item. So, if you see her texting some other guy or telling you that she’s also seeing someone else, you can’t be offended.

You two should communicate what you want from this relationship and where you stand. If you want to be exclusive with her or simply casual, you need to make it clear.

#10 Don’t make her tell you something “interesting about herself.” If this is how you get the conversation going on your dates, no wonder you have a hard time dating.

First of all, way to put her on the spot. Second of all, what is she really going to say? This isn’t an organic way to start that conversation topic. If you want to find something out, start sharing a story about yourself and wait for her to share a story. [Read: How to create sparks when starting a conversation with a girl]

#11 Be confident. This one is huge. Women like men who walk into a room with confidence and the same goes for you guys. You want a woman who basically sweats confidence wherever she goes. Compliment her, but don’t try to shower her with too many. This makes you look desperate. Don’t admit you’re nervous, though it can be sweet, it’s not a huge turn on.

#12 Do not bad mouth your exes. If you’ve had some horror dates, you can share the story, it’s fine. But, don’t bad mouth them. In addition, I would keep those stories to a minimum. If you’ve had a string of bad dates, we start to see that as a red flag if anything.

#13 Online dating is the new thing. If you’ve been out of the dating pool, well, welcome back. Online dating is now the new thing. There are endless dating sites such as Tinder, PlentyofFish, Bumble. You can literally find anyone online now. So, if you’re used to meeting women at bars, that’s still a thing, but you can also expand your horizons by going online.

#14 Easy on the gifts. I went on one date where the guy bought me a stuffed animal, chocolates, and flowers. Thought, the act was very kind, it came off way too strong. Don’t throw gifts at her. If you want to buy something for her, that’s fine, but don’t do it for every date and keep it simple and genuine. This guy gave the “I really want you to sleep with me” impression, which wasn’t attractive. [Read: 13 exciting ways to keep a girl happy and interested in you]

#15 Don’t assume she doesn’t know who you are. We live in the age of technology. If you think you play the mysterious card really well, understand that there’s a high chance she already has background information on you. If you have Facebook, Instagram, Twitter—she can easily find out who you are. So, there’s no point bullshitting, she already knows.

[Read: The texting and follow-up guide after a great first date]

Now that you know the dating rules for men, there’s no excuse for your behavior. I know when you ask a woman out, you’re sexually attracted to her, but, you don’t need to jump on her. Take it easy there.

The post 15 Dating Rules for Men that’ll Transform Your Dating Game is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.