#like geez old man you sure did a whole 180 from the first half of the ep didnt you LOL

[clowningaroundmars]

im watching columbo just to see what all the hype is about and uh i was NOT expecting this lil bumbling old guy to be so damn feral LOL

[i-just-love-writing-crap]

Catching Murphy, Part 2

Warnings: Swearing, possible nsfw content Word Count: About 2219 Summary: You, Miss (y/n) (y/l/n), had a crush on Connor Murphy for years, from a distance of course. You had always been too shy to approach him, and the fact around school that he was an aggressive stoner caused you to become even more shy. One day, in history class, your teacher decided to assign a project and assigned everyone a partner—you and Connor were partnered together. Could you two grow close during the project and remain close? Or will Connor go back to ignoring you after the project comes to a close? A/N: I apologize if Connor is a biiiiit OOC… ;-; Obviously takes place in an AU where Connor is alive Masterlist Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11

When you arrived at the Murphy residence, your breath immediately left your lungs. You had never thought you could have ever gotten this far. And never had you thought that your love of Ancient Egyptian history would get the guy you had crushed on for years to notice you. Just this whole situation was incredibly weird—first Mr. Boulden partnered you and Connor up, then you are being brought over to Connor’s house. Not to mention Connor had, before you apparently interested him, told you he wouldn’t let you go to his house. You were lost in thought and you didn’t hear Connor calling your name from next to you.

“…ello!? FUCKING HELLO!!” Connor screamed into your ear.

Immediately, you covered your ears and answered, “Ouch! My fucking ears! WHAT, Connor?! WHAT IS IT!!?”

“Get the fuck out of my car, we’re at my house.”

“Fine. You had to scream in my ear, why?” you asked as you got out of his truck.

Crossing his arms, he answered, “Because you didn’t fucking answer me when I said it the first ten damn times.”

You huffed and retorted, “You could’ve done anything that wasn’t screaming in my ear, Connor.”

“Are you going to sit in my truck in the heat or do you wanna come the fuck inside?”

“Do you have food?”

“Oh my fucking God, yes, we have food for your fat-ass,” he grumbled.

“I’m not fat, Connor. I have some flab, but I’m not a fat-ass. Also, I thought you brought me to your house so you could help with the history project, not insult me and ridicule me when I want food,” you said.

Connor walked into his house, demanding you follow him, “Just come the fuck inside.”

“Fine,” you snapped and followed him inside. Oh God, I’m snapping at Connor fucking Murphy… I’m a deadman, you thought to yourself. “Now, can I have some food?”

Zoe walked through the den and said, “You can make yourself some food, (y/n), because Connor won’t make you shit. If you know how to cook with a stove, we have some noddles you can cook. Pans are under the sink.”

You smiled at Zoe and thanked her, “Thank you, Zoe… is it really okay?”

She looked at you, then to her brother, then back at you. “Yeah, it’s fine. Like I said, Connor won’t make you anything, so you might as well make yourself something.”

“Zoe, go fucking do something that’s not talking to (y/n). She’s here to work on a project,” Connor sneered at his sister.

You looked at Connor and crossed your arms. “That’s no way to talk to your sister, Connor,” you told him.

“And what do you know? You barely even know me or my family? All your here for is a fucking project,” he snapped.

That kind of hurt you. He had seemed so interested earlier at school, what had caused him to do a complete 180? You bit your lip and turned away from him. Speaking of what happened, what happened to you? Not even 24 hours ago you never would have even thought about talking to Connor Murphy, let alone the way you were talking to him now. “You know what, Connor Murphy—you are so confusing! You seemed soooo fucking interested in what I was saying at school and then the moment we are out of school, you act like we didn’t have a rather interesting interaction. Are you actually interested in helping me out with this fucking project or am I just going to have to do the whole damn thing by myself?! Because if you’re going to act like this, I would much rather you take my fat-ass home so I can do this myself!!”

Zoe rolled her eyes and left with a, “Keep your girlfriend calm, Connor.” Did she completely tune out what you had just said?

“I-I’m not his g-girlfriend, Zoe!!” you yelled, voice breaking in embarrassment.

“Yeah, okay. Sure, (y/n). He never brings a girl home and here you are, a girl, and he brought you home,” she said with a grin.

You blushed and stammered, “N-n-no! That’s crap! I’m just fucking here for a stupid project that I might as well do myself!”

As soon as Zoe left the room, Connor seemed immediately relieved. He even sighed, adding to the fact that he was relieved. “Geez, I thought she would never leave,” he said.

“Why does it matter?” you asked. “Anyways, are you going to fix me food or not?”

Connor sighed, “I can fix your dumbass some food.”

You bowed ironically as you said, “Thank you, Sir Connor.”

Connor had fixed you some simple mac and cheese, not that you were complaining, his mac & cheese was surprisingly delicious. You were half-way through your bowl of food when Connor asked you, “So, continue from where you fucking left off today.”

“Right now?” you asked with food in your mouth. You were completely taken by surprise by his words.

He looked at you for a moment, with a spoon hanging in your mouth and eyes looking up from your bowl, and gave you a small smile. “Yeah, right now. What do you have planned for our project.”

THERE HE GOES BEING INTERESTED AGAIN, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

You swallowed the food in your mouth and cleared your throat. “I, umm, well, I was thinking more of Akhenaten. The more I was thinking of him, the more I decided we could cover his family’s heresy,” you said.

“Who and what?”

“Pharaoh Akhenaten, born Ahmenhotep IV, was the head of religious upheaval that turned Ancient Egypt on its head. He went from worshipping the plethora of Ancient Egyptian gods and goddesses to just one god—Aten, the solar deity. Akhenaten’s whole family were a bunch of raging weirdos, though, so it wasn’t just him who was the special one of the bunch! Thutmose III, the bastard that tried to erase Hatshepsut from history, was the Heretic King’s great-great-grandfather—so yeah, great family already. Now, I’m not saying all of Akhenaten’s family was as fucked up as Thutmose III, but his great-grandfather, Amenhotep II began some religious shit. The same religious shit that spiraled out of control and ended with Akhenaten’s Amarna Period. Amenhotep II decided to build a fucking temple to the Sphinx of Giza and be crowned ruler of Heliopolis instead of Thebes, which started everything! And when I say everything, Connor, I mean everything! So, after this slight deviation, for the next three pharaohs, the religious deviation continued until Akhenaten decided to flip EVERYTHING!!”

There you went again, you got so animated when you talked about Ancient Egyptian history. And Connor noticed it and it caused him to smile a tad bit. He tried to focus on what you were saying, and he half did, but he was more focused on the way your eyes lit up as you shared your knowledge. He noticed how you abandoned the mac & cheese as you fidgeted with the spoon, like you were tying not to leave a single detail out. “Mhmm… cool, what happened?” he asked, waiting to see how animated you could get.

Of course, you did not disappoint. “Oh my Osiris!! Everything happened!! Akhenaten’s family slowly deviated from the Theben religion and shit! Ooh! I can’t even get into it! It wasn’t like Aten was some god that Akhenaten decided to make up just to fuck with the polytheistic religion of Egypt, no! He can’t take that credit! Aten had his own little cult back then,” you laughed. You noticed Connor’s eyes on you harden as you said cult. “N-no! Cults back then weren’t negative in the slightest, so don’t take it like that, C-Connor. Cults in the ancient past were kinda like the different secs of modern religions, like Baptists and Catholics of Christianity. So, yeah, Aten was a lesser god who had his own cult. The priesthood of Amun, the de-facto chief of gods, had grown large and almost out of control. They literally owned more land than even the fucking pharaoh did! Like, what the fuck? How the hell could they get that much fucking land without the pharaohs before Akhenaten noticing. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back and it was one of the reasons that moron tried converting the whole of Ancient Egypt from polytheism to monotheism.” The spark in your eyes was enough to start a fire and you spoke with so much passion that it was almost suffocating. You took a spoonful of mac & cheese and stuffed it in your mouth, saying, “It was better when we were all fucking pagans.”

The way Connor was looking at you had you thrown for a loop. It was like you were the center of the world for a small amount of time. Taking a few moments to absorb what you had said, he spoke, “Oh really? And why were things better when we were all pagans, (y/n)?”

Scoffing, you answered, “Because when we were all pagans, we focused on fucking peace and harmony! None of this oh let’s go conquer this land in the name of God/Allah/our own selfish bullshit reasons! NO! When we were pagans, we only fought when we wanted to expand our land or settle something with another kingdom.”

“Ah,” he answered. Connor honestly didn’t know nearly half of what you were telling him. Everything you said was new information to him and it honestly made him lowkey smile about it. He had never really met anyone who could speak to him as freely as you did, or snap at him like you did for that matter, and it made him feel like he wasn’t just some druggie who people avoided. Connor Murphy actually felt grateful to that “old man” that was Mr. Boulden for partnering him up with such an interesting person. Never once had he thought that he could have been paired up with someone as interesting as you. “What makes you think that pagans didn’t go to war for stupid reasons, (y/n/n)?” he asked, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Boy,” you deadpanned, “you’re kidding me? A core idea in any monotheistic belief system is the encouragement of the belief that, in order for it to be right, other systems must necessarily be wrong. It is because of that stupid insistence on being the sole administrator of ultimate truth leads to intolerance of other beliefs and their suppression. That is why pagans are seen to be unholy and blasphemous, because of that damn central idea of monotheistic belief systems! Ugh!! It’s infuriating that a religion that promotes peace and harmony is considered unholy because some moron created a serious monotheistic religion.”

Connor chuckled in amusement, “You don’t seem to like monotheism, do ya, (y/n)?”

You laughed at his comment, “What gave you that idea? Now, don’t peg me as an atheist, because I’m not, I’m more agnostic than anything. And I don’t dismiss anyone’s religious views because umm, no, that’s fucking rude.”

“That’s good to know, I guess. Miss Agnostic,” Connor quipped.

“Oh, aren’t you just too funny, Mister Loner,” you quipped back.

“Ahaha… you’re hilarious, my spleen may burst.”

“Aww, thanks, Con.” Connor blinked at that name. You noticed what you had said and stammered, trying to fix your mistake, “C-Connor! I meant to say Connor, but it came out too soon! M-my brain… my mouth… my something wasn’t keeping up with everything else! I-I’m sorry!”

He chuckled softly at your cute stammering and said with a shrug, “You can call me that, (y/n). I can call you (y/n/n), you can call me Con. Anyways, we should probably get to work on the project. I like whatever your doing with the whole Heretic King thing, so let’s do that. But, you seem to know fucking everything there is to know about that shit, so you probably don’t need my help.”

You looked at him and smiled. “I might not need any help with research and shit, Con, but having some company while I do the project would be nice. If you can handle being around me for two to three weeks,” you answered.

“I can’t see that fucking killing me, (y/n/n),” he said, a smile could be heard in his tone.

Smiling, you continued to eat. “Okay, coo. We can get started once I’m done with my food. Sound good to you, Con?” you asked with a smile.

“Yeah, sure. I did make you the food, I fucking expect you to eat all of it, dammit!”

“I’m working on it,” you laughed.

TAGS: @saturdayschilddrivesmewild you told me to tag you and here you go bby ;)

Also, I’ll be gone for the next few days on a vacay with my family, so you won’t really hear from me from today, the 23rd, until Wednesday the 26th! I’ll be working on some stuff while I’m gone and I may upload some stuff, but not as frequent as I upload usually! I just wanted to get this out since the thought is fresh~! Hopefully I’ll have something cutesy with Michael to upload at some point in the next few days!