#like fwb fuckfest every once in a while- even if it's only every year or two- is still preferable to ~1 shitty new stranger date per year
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Well damn, today did not go how I expected
#life of faye#woke up normal and actually started to get stuff done#then got distracted texting d#which turned into us having a long deep conversation about our whole situation#like probably more in depth than we've really discussed it since he left portland#or possibly ever#i definitely ended up confessing that I am kinda sorta in love with him and don't know how not to be#and that I feel like a bad friend for still wanting to fuck him but also that I feel like there's been some mixed signals in that regard#and he talked about how he's not comfortable pursuing a relationship with me or anyone else right now#and that he would be open to something fwb-related but he didn't think I would be interested/comfortable with that arrangement#especially considering my own confessed feelings and everything#but I told him I can work with that because at least I would have a chance to occasionally fuck someone I trust#and i already know he fucks like a champ#like fwb fuckfest every once in a while- even if it's only every year or two- is still preferable to ~1 shitty new stranger date per year#and maybe it's pathetic of me to stuff down my love to at least get sex#but fucking a friend that just doesn't love me back is still better than fucking a stranger to me#anyway we haven't really nailed down it all yet but the conversation has finally been started#also he asked for me to make a painting for his bday and it made me 🥹#nobody has ever specifically asked me to paint them something before#my date with sweet d
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