#like even if those things are 'read a book' x 1000 they're all different books that i want to read for different reasons and in difft ways

[pinehutch]

Okay so the most reasonable thought I've had all month is definitely "I should clear my calendar for February and just spend the entire month writing f/f fic, shouldn't I?"

That seems reasonable, right?

[ladythornofrivia]

Endless Reds and Blues

Here's the link for the synopsis and the chapter list--read chapter 1 first Pair: Kakucho x Reader

(Warning: Inappropriate jokes and dialogue that includes bullying, gossiping and other things that aren't appropriate--dark content--for people under 18 (if you're under 18, I'm sorry but you can't read this)(Yes, I have to say it twice XD)

Author’s Note: I really enjoy writing this story so much. Something about writing a new chapter in this series makes me giddy inside. (Note: Report if someone decides to steal the synopsis and my story. And notify me. Thank you) ❤️

Chapter Two: Scars Bleed Like Petals

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

Everyone didn't know what you were saying, but all know you're saying in a different language with a rage look on your face with the 1000 page thick, hardcover book above your head with your clutched hands. It could only mean one thing from you.

In your mind it's avenge. To them, it's a petty revenge.

You won't let it slip. You can't help it.

Himiko was the only person who made an effort of speaking to you, despite interrupting you and making ruckus noises on a wrong time whenever you're busy concentrating with your personal time quietly during lunch. Himiko shared homework answers with you, and shared notes with you in case you missed a word from a teacher's fast-talking lecture. And Himiko provides you with lunch that you never asked for. She didn't have to insist herself on looking out for you, but your heart softened when Himiko is being genuine on speaking to you, she wasn't like the rest of your classmates who is constantly uppity and paranoid about your existence.

Unlike the rest, Himiko doesn't have ulterior motives.

Ever since you transferred to a new school in Japan during first week, Himiko is your first acquaintance, and you're thankful for her.

Seeing Himiko cry was the last straw of being annoyed by self-righteous people.

Though physical rush in your veins is something you've never done before. Usually, you mind your own business, you like to stick your eyes and nose into the pages, eyes always looking down and never hoped for something good to come. Like here, in your original homeland, you mind your own business. You never stick to anyone's drama, not the people you knew at your old school. Like people here at this school, with the old "friends" you have back in your original homeland, they don't give a shit about you, so why give a shit about them when they're in trouble from getting into fights and drama and superficial talk?

They never liked talking to you or getting to know you; they pretend you don't exist--treated you like trash--unless they need something from you or dragged you onto the spot to pick a side. Or makes a 'joke' about you in front of others to make themselves look like a good jokester.

There's never a two-way street. That's where you stop befriend your 'friends', and prioritize yourself above others entirely; you wouldn't let anyone hurt your self-respect and boundaries. You hated superficial people, people like those who aren't acting from kindness, but for good reputation and image. People who manipulate other people for fun. Pretty people who manipulated others to get away scot-free.

Moving into Japan wasn't any different until Himiko. And seeing Himiko suffer by a superficial group of men cause a wreck in your tranquil consciousness and your self-prioritization. Like those young men, where girls constantly fawn over since your arrival in your new school, struck a nerve. You're tired of hearing their crappy conversations.

Thunderous footsteps barged into Tenjiku's direction.

Sanzu, who was laughing with his friends, didn't hear from someone in the crowd, calling out to him. Even when everyone is watching in silence.

"Sanzu!" someone said in panic.

Loudness of your footsteps became closer to reach Tenjiku's ears.

Sanzu pivoted his head over from someone's voice as he saw you brought your arms down in a fast motion and struck hard against Sanzu's visage, as Sanzu's body knocked down in a flash that no one realized he's already down with a sharp thud.

Behind you, Sanzu's fans screeched, as if he's gone for good.

You swung again for a greater impact, but this time the taller guy with two-braided hair and violet eyes grasped the book you held, to put to a stop, with ease.

He smiled at you. "I think you've done enough, sweetheart," he said in a cool voice.

Swiftly, he confiscated your book.

"I'll be taking this with me," he said with a sincere grin. "Rindou, Kakucho, drop Sanzu off at the nurse's office. Looks like he took a big blow."

Kakucho and Rindou carried Sanzu and wrapped his arms over their shoulders, and dragged unconscious away, and Bonten is nowhere to be seen, which leaves you stranded. As you turned around, everyone who saw the scene, backed away from you, whispering.

"She's a psychopath," one girl said.

"I knew we're right not to be friends with that red-headed freak," the other girl said.

"I guess it proves everyone's theory about how red-haired chicks are always the craziest ones."

The rest of the day, you kept quiet throughout the school hours, and the people around you kept whispering whilst laid their eyes on you, even your head is turned.

*~~*~~*

Day by day, you became the hot topic of everyone's discussion. That and Tenjiku. Day by day, girls who are waiting for Sanzu's recover, he received complimentary of pink flowers and well-decorated letters. Some were loving. Some were casually friendly, telling Sanzu to go well soon. As Tenjiku strolled by, all of their admirers clapped about their heroic bravery.

Himiko get a treatment from the nurse's office. As for you, you received nothing but a cold glares, unafraid to talk about you whether you're in front of them or behind your back. Everyday, you cleaned your desk, from earning profanity written in thick, black ink, with rubbing alcohol and wet wipes.

Nine days later, as you approached towards your shoe locker, unlocking it, you received a bunch of sharp push pins, mini dolls version of you and ripped papers.

Cursing to yourself, you picked up the papers, realizing these are the letters from Sanzu's fans, all contained in red ink, somewhat intentionally resembled as if the slanders were written in blood.

"Apologize to my husband!"

"Freak!"

"Loyal Mad Dog is coming to get you. You better watch out!"

"I wish you got injured instead of him!"

"You're better off gone. Nobody likes you."

"Slut."

"Bonten isn't going to hold back the next time they see you."

"I can't believe you touched my beloved Ran. Apologize to him, too!"

"You're a monster to the society. We don't need you here!"

"Red-headed bitch!"

"We're going to avenge him by taking you out."

"When you read this, I want you to repent and wish that you have never been born. You're a disgrace."

"We don't need a new student. Everything is perfect when you're not here!"

"Himiko should've been honored from talking to Sanzu, and you ruined her spotlight."

"You ruined everything. Go take a leap."

You drew a long, shuddering sigh. Oh, boy. These people are getting on my nerves. They nearly ruined my shoe locker. If only I have a lighter to burn these stupid letters.

Crumpling the papers, you dumped them into trash can and drew a spit on it, then proceeding to go to the classroom. Before entering, you heard a couple of girls outside the classroom, gossiping regarding you.

"What should we do?" the girl with pigtails said.

"We have to take her out," the other girl with an awful cut bangs suggested.

"By what? We're not allowed to bring anything that causes us expulsion."

"You know what they say, "eye for an eye"," the third girl with ponytail said with sinister smile. "We have to bring a thick book to smash her down that she won't be conscious anymore."

"Oh, that's a good idea," the girl with pigtails clapped with joy.

"All we have to do is to steal the same book that Ran took from her and beat the shit out of her slutty existence."

"I'll go post it on social media, for everyone to see how stupid she is."

"And how stupid she looks."

Girls's roaring laughter echoed.

Regardless you entered the said hall and bumped three girls on purpose, which you earned a delightful sound of pain coming from them.

"Watch where you're going, bitch."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to act so slutty," you said. "I guess by now you're trying to act like a victim and pin the blame on me."

"What?" the girl with pigtails said.

"What the hell are you talking about? We were just talking about what we're going to eat today," the girl with ponytail said.

"By eating you mean trying to beat the shit out of me with the book that Ran took from me and try to knock me unconscious with?" you smiled, seeing their faces grew mortified.

You went near them and gave your book to one of the girls, but the girl shoved it back. "I don't want your stupid book!"

"Oh? I thought you said you wanted to beat the shit out of me after taking the book from Ran. If you wanted to beat me, you could've just asked. We could post a video about it, too!" you said with a hysterical laughter.

Three girls slowly backed away, their forearms signaled a slight twitch.

"I never said that," the girl with bangs said.

"Yeah, you're wrong--you misheard us!"

"Go on," you said, shoving it back and angled one of the girls' hands, guided at your face. "Beat me, injure me," you added with a menacing smile, eyes widened, you felt your blood sparked like fireworks. You were angry, but you couldn't care less. You wanted to get over with this shenanigans. "Then you could finally be a hero and tell your dear future husband Sanzu and Ran about this." You smile grew wider, and your features grew distinctly sharp and clouded in void. Your grey eyes were no longer alive and friendly, rather cold and dark.

Hollow.

"You have no right to talk down to us just because we look different from you," the girl with ponytail yowled.

You ignored her. "Go ahead. Don't act like a sensitive coward. Show me how you're going to beat me--show me what's like to have a victorious moment of getting 'eye for an eye' for me. Avenge them by taking me out," I coaxed them.

"Show me!" you yelled in English, patience wearing thin.

All three girls screamed and scrammed.

"Oh, if you ever get my book back, make sure it's clean so you can beat me when no one is around to witness my karma!" you shouted loudly and cheerily for the screaming girls to hear.

When you finally let your method acting of being a cynical maniac down, your tears threatened to fall. You couldn't be confident to face anyone anymore.

I'm such a disgrace. I shouldn't have made another mistake.

*~~*~~*

During lunchtime, you weren't in the classroom. You couldn't stand their mumbles anymore. Staying at the rooftop would be the best alternative for you to remain sane around idiots in an educational system.

You didn't bother listen to music, neither reading. Every time you hold a book, your classmates backed away from you. All you do is to sit there and think about how you're going to talk to your parents about switching schools once they have spare time. But even you do, bad record follows you everywhere, there's no way to change or erase it.

Instead of a promised stilled life of you minding your own business--your personal quiet time in your world, you received a negative attention from admirers, schemers and liars alike.

Behind you, the rooftop's door creaked.

"If you come here to scold me about how I hit their precious husband, I'll try to find a way to redeem myself," you said without looking back.

"You don't have to redeem yourself," a voice replied.

"Himiko," you said, then looking back at the clear sky. "Why are you here?"

"I was worried about you," Himiko said, standing closer.

"Sanzu recovered," you said. "I overheard it from your friends. They're celebrating about now."

Himiko shook her head. "You weren't being your usual self whenever I try to talk to you."

You ignored her, playing with the hem of your school skirt.

"You've been ignoring me for ten days, and you're trying to ignore me now. Why?"

"Because if I talk to you, your friends will think you'll become like me. They'll cast you out if you try to associate with a disgusting bitch like me," your voice croaked, but keep it hidden. "They're right. I should know my place instead of putting up with someone else's. I should've let them walk all over me whenever there's a chance."

Himiko shook her head once more. "They're all talk and no bite. What you're doing in the first place is right. None of my friends ever stood up for me once. Yeah, I'm clumsy, but I try my best to repair the mistakes I made."

"Those guys are going to think you're a lamb to a slaughter," I remarked. "You saw how they look; they aren't going to hold back if there's no people around."

"That doesn't matter. It matters most when you defended me. Even though smacking Sanzu's head can make everyone as your enemy, but I believe you did a right choice. He's a total nut-job."

You scoffed in amusement. "True."

Himiko sat beside you. "Don't act tough. I know you're in pain on the inside. Because of the result, I'm really and truly sorry."

You waved it off. "It's nothing."

Himiko placed a hand over your right shoulder. "It's not nothing," Himiko protested. "I believe if something happen to the person I enjoy befriending with, I would get angry, too."

"What exactly did happen?" you asked.

"I was trying to get back into the classroom."

You tilt your head to the side. "How?"

"After getting my favorite drinks, I try to go back to the main route, but everyone blocked the route, so I took the shortcut instead. It was a mess. I was trying to take the stairs. Then by the time I reached to the second floor, my friend tried to talk to me about how Rindou acknowledge her, and the mistake was I kept looking at her while opening my favorite drink because I was too tired from climbing up the stairs."

"And that's where you hit them by accident?"

Himiko lowered her eyes. "Yes."

"If anything, it's your friend's fault. She shouldn't have forced you to look at her while you're walking. My parents always said to look forward while walking. Otherwise, you'll get into an accident."

"You're talking as if I'm driving a car."

"Same rule apply. When walking, make sure you're safe. But I shouldn't say this to you. It's your friend who's at fault."

"You have a point." Shoving into her lunch box, she unveiled her lunch first, then she pulled out another bento contained with a wrapped foil for you to grab.

"What this?" you inquired.

Himiko gave you an encouraging look, watching you as you unwrapped the foil. Hot steam floating near your face as you smelled a familiar scent of hamburger and crispy onion rings.

"For me?"

"Yeah, I tried to cook it yesterday. I had to get it right a bunch of times." Himiko inserted white rice into her hungry mouth. "This is my way of thanking you."

"It--it looks good," you said. Then you took a huge bite of the burger, and your tears fell past to your cheeks and mingled the iron taste with the salty meat in your tongue.

"I'm such a disgrace," you said, sobbing quietly.

Himiko pressed her flat palm against your back, then patted your head three times. "I'm sorry that I cause ruckus when you're reading. I should've respect your privacy."

"You're the only one who's nice to me," you said, struggling to fight back against the hot and twisted feeling in your throat; tears were settling in.

"It's okay, (y/n), I'm here for you," Himiko said, then handing you the cold drink of a mango flavored milk. "I don't care what everyone said. What you did was right."

*~~*~~*

"Anything, Koko?" Ran inquired with his folded arms over his chest.

Kokonoi's fingers clicked onto the keyboard. "Not yet."

Out of nowhere, Ran snorted.

Kokonoi stopped typing; his right hand controlled the mouse and maneuvered. "Is there something on my face?"

"No," Ran said, still chuckling. "I still can't stop thinking about how Sanzu being called as a 'pink twig'."

"It's because he doesn't have an ass," Rindou chimed in, leaning his back against the wall. "You need to build a muscle."

"But my face is pretty," Sanzu interjected. "Girls tend to like my scars."

"Your face is the only thing you can make up with," Ran replied, deadpan. "We should go to the gym sometime. If girls sees you with a round ass and not just your pretty face, chances are you'll get hit on twice as much as I have on the regular basis."

"Give me your ass, then,” Sanzu said, groaning in anger.

Ran let out an exasperated breath. "Anyway. So Kakucho, anything with that special lady of yours?"

"What lady?" Kakucho said, organizing a file of papers from the file cabinet.

"Mariko," Ran answered. "She's a real cutie! I see the way you look at her, thinking that she's the only girl in this school."

Kakucho closed the file cabinet. "Don't know what you're talking about."

"Uh-oh, I think someone's in denial," Ran said in a sing-song voice, clicking his tongue.

"Who's in denial," Kokonoi asked.

"Kakucho," Ran said. "Trouble in paradise."

It's not a paradise anymore, Kakucho thought.

"A lover's quarrel...?" Kokonoi assumed.

"Rejection," Kakucho confirmed. "She told me she got a boyfriend, and that she doesn't want to associate with me anymore."

Ran's jaw dropped open, producing a dramatic gasp. "NO!"

"Why?" Rindou joined in.

"Because of my popularity...because of the admirers. She'll get into trouble if she decides to stay by my side."

"Aww." Ran marched towards Kakucho to give a playful pinch on Kakucho's cheeks. "Look at you, talking like you're Romeo! You lost your Juliet!"

Kakucho smacked Ran's hands away. "Cut it out, it's no big deal."

"'No big deal, he says'," Ran said, facing everyone. Meanwhile, on the sidelines, Izana was eating his full-set meal, watching everyone with a pair of dark violet eyes.

"I found her," Kokonoi's voice went loud.

"Found who?" Rindou separated himself from the wall.

"The information regarding to the new girl," Kokonoi said, beckoned a signal for Rindou to inspect the new girl's records regarding her background and her previous life.

"Apparently she moved here not too long ago," Rindou announced.

"She's from a different country," Kokonoi said.

"From where?"

"America," Kokonoi answered. "Apparently she got straight A's in all of her classes."

"There's nothing special about that," Sanzu retorted, grouching.

"Is it that girl--the one who hit Sanzu, the one with red hair and grey eyes?" Ran questioned.

"The one and only," Kokonoi answered, scrolling down. "She got perfect attendance, her extra curricular is good. No set of bad records."

"In other words, she's a goody two shoes," Rindou assumed.

"Not quite," Kokonoi replied, because if she's a goody two shoes, that means her presence in social media is absent."

"And how does that connect to her school life?"

Immediately, Kokonoi typed the new girl's social media account on Instagram. "Take a look of this." He angled the monitor screen towards the Haitani brothers. Rindou spotted the screen with excitement. "Holy shit," Rindou said, nearly groaning. Rindou slapped Ran's back. "Ran, Ran!"

"What?" Ran was busy adjusting his hairstyle at the mirror.

"You gotta see this," Rindou suggested, a hint of enthusiasm in his tone.

Ran followed his younger brother's suggestion and his went wide. He blew a long, approval whistle. "Damn, she's wearing a lingerie.”

"She's a model," Kokonoi informed. "And she has these..."

Kokonoi played a video of you in a skin-tight dress, and what it appears to be having a large tattoo on your underboobs. "She has at least 300k followers on Tiktok, also."

Rindou also blew a whistle. "She's fucking hot."

"Who would've known she hid underneath that innocent persona she has," Takeomi added, having another cigarette. "Kakucho, you gotta see this!"

"I wonder if she's secretly a dominatrix," Ran tapped his index finger onto his chin with wonder.

"Ran," Rindou scolded.

"What? I'm just admiring her red luscious hair and those grey eyes. I'd take her to my bed. Is her hair color and her eye color even real?

"She just hit Sanzu a couple of days ago."

"She can spank me, and I'd still say 'thank you'. I don't mind her taking over the bed. I could do a couple of rounds with her, pulling her long hair. If she said she wants to sleep on the bed, I'll gladly take the couch after sex."

"You wouldn't bring her onto your bed," Rindou reminded, "because you love your bed more!"

"Based on her hair color, does she also taste like candy?"

Rindou slammed his hand onto his face. "Ran, you're so hopeless."

With curiosity, Ran reached for the book he confiscated from her. "It's not in Japanese, and it's not a right-to-left format. How the hell can she lift this thing?"

Kokonoi reached the thick book from Ran, and used his camera phone for a translation. "She has good taste."

Ran's brows flicked upwards. "What?"

"I translated the book title she was holding. I didn't know she's into Game of Thrones," Kokonoi said, impressed. "I've seen a couple of trailers and reviews, some of the people I knew are watching this show, but I never get a chance to watch it on my spare time."

"I got hit by that stupid book," Sanzu complained.

Kokonoi returned the book back to Ran. "How's Kakucho doing?"

"Still heartbroken," Ran replied, examining the large material. He faced Kakucho. "Want to see this?"

"I can't read English," Kakucho said.

"I didn't ask if you can read English," Ran said, walked over Kakucho's spot. "I don't think I could ever return this book to her."

Kakucho's brow arched. "Why not?"

"You saw how she pushed Sanzu, and it also affected me and Rindou."

"Yup, she's a strong girl," Kakucho commented, rolling his eyes.

"And she's really pretty, right?"

Kakucho said nothing.

"I know you're still hung up on Mariko, but you've got to look at this girl. She's insanely beautiful!"

Kakucho changed the subject. "Who's going to return the book to her, then?"

"Ran," Sanzu said.

"I don't want to," Ran said, pouting.

"Then why did you do it in the first place?" Kakucho asked.

"Because things are going to get worse if she still keeps it."

"Are you suggesting that she has to get her book back instead of you returning it?" Shion assumed.

Ran shrugged. "Maybe."

"What do you think, Boss?" Sanzu inquired, hands behind his head, relaxing over the frame of his office chair.

Ran slid the book across the black marbled table at Izana.

As he took the last bite of his favorite snack, he caught it with his flat palm placed atop of the hardcover book.

Swallowing the last portions of the food, Izana said, "Bring her in."

Taglist: @colored-tr-panels & @galactict3a

[screamin-abt-haikyuu]

Thank you for the tag!! This is such an interesting one!!

Started writing: I honestly can't even remember. I used to inhale books as a kid and i always wanted to be a novelist when I grew up. Well, that didn't happen but I do write for a living lol (it's not the fun, novel kind but still). If i had to guess, it would probably be when I was in grade 5? I found old notebooks of mine a few years ago where i had started writing "novels" and i thought "wow young Zaira was so much better a writer than current Zaira". Well, young Zaira also read books a lot so she was more in touch with bookish English than the current one. Anyway so that would be around... 17 years?? wow.

Started blogging: I had a few random blogs and blog posts I wrote during school/college days but I don't remember anything about them. This tumblr, though, would be my most significant one. My first writing post here was on 1st July 2021.

Followers: Currently at 2057 which is insaneee. A lot of people followed me because of the jealous series.

Communication: Most of my tumblr moots from 2021 are barely active here anymore :(( but @darthdutton is one who I actually connected with irl as well and is a friend who I speak to very regularly and is one of the best things to come out of Haikyuu for me. There's still some people still active on here that I am not that regularly in touch with but it still makes my heart happy whenever I do interact with them. And of course, there's you now!!! I didn't think I would make another new friend on here but I'm glad you talked to me!!

Likes: I like seeing all kinds of notifications and likes keep them active so they make me feel like there's still activity on my blog (i miss being on here as much as I used to). It does annoy me a teeny bit when there's like a 1000 likes but only 10 reblogs or so but also I've kinda stopped paying heed to it most of the time. Partly because I don't write that often anymore. I do wish some of my Asahi fics got a bit more traction because I LOVEEE them so much and they're my favourite things I have ever written and it's not because I want people to say "hey that's a good fic" but because it is in my nature to share stuff I like. It brings me joy to go omg look at this thing i found it's so cool maybe you'll like it and if they like it, it makes me happy. If they like something asahi related, that makes me 5x happier. 10x if it's something i created.

I live for the tags and the comments. (2) I still go back and read the tags and comments on my fics and they make me all happy and giddy. When I had just started posting on here, there was a tumblr mutual who just popped tf off with her reviews. I'm talking proper posts long reviews and they honestly made my day. I also started talking to @darthdutton at first because she was very sweet and supportive on my posts and sometimes the only person who had something to say when I was just starting out. It gave me a great boost.

Requests: I'm not doing any fic requests anymore but my smiling collection requests are open. Haven't gotten one of those in quite a while though. I miss doing smiling asahi. I still have so many more of his pictures stored on my laptop. Maybe i'll start back up one day again.

Writing: I tend to think as I write. Like I have a certain idea about how my writing is going to go but as I go along, it changes shape. So many of my fics have ended up with a completely different ending to what I had imagined in the beginning.

Also, I don't think I am that good of a writer. In the sense that... when it comes to describing scenes, I find myself at a loss for words. I can get the message across but I often feel like "this particular scene could have been so much better if I could just be better with words". But people seem to like what I put out so there's that. It's simple and it could be better but it also makes people feel things (according to some of the response I get) which makes me happy.

I usually prefer to write/imagine x fem reader characters but also try and be as gender neutral as possible. I don't read or write any fics related to parenthood, children, pregnancy, etc. I also don't like yandere stuff or dark stuff. rainbows and unicorns all the way!

Tagging: anyone who wants to join! :)

This was so fun to think about!!

Behind the scenes of a Tumblr Writer - Tag Game

Hey there, I love behind the scenes and since this is something that's rarely talked about, let me start the chain... if you feel uncomfortable with a question, just skip it. You can add some if you want as well.

Started writing: I wrote my first Harry Potter fanfic at age 10. Started posting around 15,16 years old. I'm now 31, so...

Started blogging: I started on a German fanfiction site around 2010/11 I think. Might have been earlier too, but back then I was mostly reading, no posting. I really started when I got into One Direction (very late, tbh)

Followers: Currently at 961, which is wild to me. I don't even know that many people IRL. I convince myself that half of them are bots tbh, so I don't freak out all the time.

Communication: The people I talk to regularly are: a few writers who answered after I constantly reblogged and commented on their works and a few people who commented and reblogged my work. Writing and blogging on here can be pretty lonely, depending on your personality and the time you're active (I'm from Europe and a lot of my followers seem to be living in Northern America, so there's the Timezone thing) ... And I found that the best way to strike a conversation is to reblog, comment, and to not be shy. I do wish I got more asks, though....

Likes: I actually filter them out. I have 793 original posts up at the moment. It doesn't give me anything to know how many likes a fic has other than to tell me which characters are liked more than others or maybe that one fic does especially well. My activity only shows me comments, asks, reblogs with tags, and answers to my own asks. I live for the tags and the comments.

Requests: I love talking to people about ideas. That's how I started the plotbunny game because I have so many ideas and so little time. And sometimes an idea just doesn't want to be written out fully. Requests are fun because YAY, I get some mail... but then I freak out because I don't really know how to write this NOW and then I freak out because it's been a week already, two weeks, wait, two months? I'd rather have suggestions where people tell me vague things like "I'd love to read something about this side character" or "Have you ever considered this character with a soulmate trope"? because then I don't have the feeling of failing the request when I write it a little bit differently.

Writing: I am a fast writer. I know that's one of my talents. I can churn out a oneshot of 1k words in less than an hour. People read slower than I write. That can suck sometimes because you've just posted this and you want to know what people are thinking but they're not as fast as you are. I do have a lot of ideas. I want to write constantly but my brain doesn't always want to. I am trying to respect that.

There are also certain things that I just feel wrong writing. I cannot write anything suggestive (I also don't like reading it) and everything past that gives me panic attacks. I can hardly write mean characters and jealousy feels so wrong to me that I cannot write it. I've also overdone it with the soulmark trope and now I feel like everything I write about it feels lifeless.

I write best in the mornings before going to work, but I don't have much time there. I don't need special music (but it helps), but I need to have at least some energy left and at best, no distractions. But I have been writing for over 20 years, so I will say experience helps a lot.

Tagging: @revasserium @shoulmate @lemurzsquad @screamin-abt-haikyuu @toomanygoldfish @satorisoup @emmyrosee @reverie-starlight @alienaiver and @writingsofanomnivore and everyone else who wants to join

[thevindicativevordan]

Any thoughts on the first issue of the Wells/Romita Jr. ASM relaunch?

After the lousy resolution to the Beyond Saga I adjusted my expectations massively. Initially I was very excited to see Wells, the guy who arguably wrote the best X-Men book of the Hickman era in Hellions, and Romita Jr; the guy who drew the best part of the JMS run, team up to relaunch Spider-Man. But after Beyond managed to do a worse job than Spencer in delivering a satisfying payoff I was no longer excited. Good thing too because this was about as tepid a relaunch as it gets.

Credit to Romita: this is easily his best art since the JMS days, he really is busting his ass here after resting on his laurels over at DC. But man everything about this status quo is just... boring. It's Brand New Day 2.0, Peter and MJ's relationship was seemingly dissolved, everyone hates Peter AND Spider-Man, it's all very "back to basics" - except Marvel's idea of what constitutes that for Spider-Man is totally at odds with my own. Look clearly something funky is going on, that weird golden guy who showed up at the end of Beyond is obviously connected to how Peter went from being about to move in with MJ, and being fairly respected and well-liked in both his heroic and civilian identities, to ostracized yet again. And those are totally MJ's kids with that new guy, yeah that definitely isn't a fake out meant to lure people to keep reading out of rage. Obviously anyone who has been reading comics for a while can recognize a bait comic when they see one.

But I just don't care. This feels like a story I've read a million times already, and nothing about it makes me think I'm missing out by dropping ASM until something interesting happens. Spencer spent his entire run putting Peter and MJ back together, I've got no interest in rehashing that again. It's insane to me the contrast in quality between DC and Marvel's golden boys. Batman always has a great comic on the stands, even when his main titles drop in quality, there's always a good standalone on offer, and Bats has had so many legendary runs on his main books in the 21st century. Spider-Man? Shit he's been terrible more often than not, it's a testament to how much Spidey fans love the character that they continue to put up with ASM being so consistently garbage to mediocre. Telling that Zdarsky flat out said he would never write ASM, and had no plans for doing another ongoing after Daredevil, but now he's taking on Batman. Shows you the difference in editorial between the two characters.

Least there's the Amazing Fantasy 1000 issue coming with Hickman and Gaiman on it, that will be my only Spidey comic for now. God I love how jealous Marvel is of DC getting their two headliners to 1000, they want so badly to have their own big 1000 issue milestone but they still have 100+ issues to go before ASM hits that mark so they're going to keep putting out bullshit "1000" issues until then. Well at least there's one Spidey comic I'm looking forward to. Happy 60th webhead, maybe they'll let you and MJ move in together for issue 1000, because I don't see anything but lame gimmicks in your near future until the Spider-Editorial office gets purged.