#like even if i had zero problems i couldn't do it

[street-corner-felines]

Zero Day (2002)

[random2908]

My boss caught me alone on Friday and asked if I'd like a new side project.

I said this side project wasn't something I knew how to do, but that I was willing to learn. And that it was my understanding that physicists with the skill set for a project like this were very rare and in very high demand, and it would therefore probably be of benefit to the company to give me the time to learn to do this task. But that it would take time. He agreed, he would like to have an employee who could merge physics knowledge with this skill set, but it would take time.

He then said, what if I supervised a new-ish hire--who was hired for this exact skill set, but who isn't a physicist--instead? He went on to explain that the new hire was having trouble following directions, so he wanted to put him on a new project with a new supervisor, to give him a fresh start (possibly a last chance situation, but he didn't quite say that). And because he was having problems with following directions, and because he was not a physicist and this, ultimately, is a physics project, I would need to closely supervise him.

So, uh, that's a very different assignment. And admittedly my first thought was, "oh no, not again," because I think this is the third time in my career something like this has happened to me, where I've been handed a problem employee as a last resort, and it's never gone well.

Anyway, I said that in order to do a close supervision, I'd probably still have to learn the skill set myself to some degree, just to be able to answer questions and know what he was doing. (One time, in a similar situation, I didn't learn the skill set that my subordinate was supposed to be using, and it went especially poorly. But I didn't say that--best not to talk about my past failures.) At the end of the conversation, it seemed like my boss and I were in agreement that that's what we would try.

So, we'll see how this goes...

[vamptastic]

jesus fuck the ICE situation rn is awful. just fucking masked goons in vans assaulting and arresting any brown person spotted within 5 ft of an undocumented immigrant. idk how things escalate to this level of daily violence against citizens that haven't committed any kinda crime so fast

[wxxpingangxls]

mr munch!

he slammed the door, huffing. "what the fuck is your problem?" you asked, watching as he throws his gym bag on the floor.

"no one believes i have game!" he whined. armin scrunched his face as soon as he heard you snort, not taking your eyes off the tv, once. "something funny?" he asked, clearly unhappy with your response. he pathetically plumped himself on the sofa next to you.

armin was a nerd. your typical tv nerd. one who knew wayyy too much about things that were less than ideal, academically gifted and zero game when it came to getting women. i mean it wasn't his fault that he was sooo eager to please his teachers. sure, he was cute with his glasses that seemed more like a magnifying glass glued to his face, and not to mention that fuck ass bob of his. but you know what, he wore it well. and you had to give him that much.

"ok so, how do you pick up a pretty girl then?" you asked, now directly facing him. he fiddled with his bony fingers before swallowing harshly. "well?"

"well i'm charming?"

"according to who?" you bellowed out in laughter as he pouted. "you're a nerd, and there's nothing wrong with that," your hand rubbed on his knee as you gave him a pitiful smile.

"are you...giving me pity right now?"

"no? i'm comforting a friend," you said curtly.

"can i ask you something?"

you smiled expectantly, knowing that he was probably going to splutter out some fuckary. however, nothing could ever prepare you for what came out of his big mouth.

"what's a munch?"

your eyes widened in shock.

"is it a bad thing? everyone was asking if i was a munch, so i just said yes,"

"why the fuck would you say yes to something you don't know the meaning of?"

"well to be honest, it seemed like a good thing..." he put his head down as his face grew hot.

you weren't any better because now your palms were sweaty. "armin, aren't you like, a know-it-all?"

"oh please, i'm not that smart..."

"clearly," you couldn't help but pity the poor baby. and he didn't like that. he didn't like it when others looked down on him especially with pity.

"so, are you gonna tell me?"

"a munch is a man who loves to eat pussy, okay?"

"but i've never...done that before,"

"i can tell," you huffed out while he visibly blushed. "well now the whole school knows that you loves to eat pussy," you giggled loudly. you half expected armin to whine like he always does, but he stays silent. "oh come on, i'm just kidding, laugh a little,"

"so, being a munch sounds fun, i wanna try it out," he turns to face you.

"sorry? armin, are you fucking okay? you don't even know how to eat it,"

"how am i supposed to learn?"

and that's how you ended up with your legs held all the way up to your ears, with armin and his bob between your legs. his tongue piercing swirled on your clit. "you're...you're a fucking liar!" you squealed, as his mouth suckled on your clit. he moaned, completely ignoring you. unbeknownst to you, he was smirking as your syrupy slick dribbled down your ass crack. but that didn't stop him.

his tongue trailed all the way down to the winking hole, as his thumb rubbed your bud with ease. you were unbelievably wet as he tongue moved up towards your hole, squeezing it into your tight pussy. you pulled on his hair, bringing him impossibly closer to it, smothering him completely. each time, his tongue subtly stretching you out. he grunted and groaned, sending vibrations straight to your heart. that lying bastard. he's not fucking new to this shit.

you mewled, watching him remove himself from your cunt for a hot minute. "what's wrong? i'm just showing you what a munch is," he slyly grinned, his chin covered in nothing but slick and saliva. fuck, was he nasty, fingers never leaving your clit. your toes started throwing gang signs as tears formed in your eyes. before you could tell him to move his ass and finish his meal, he's already attaching his mouth in a suction motion onto your clit. you played with your nipple as your hips literally bucked up into his face, greedily trying hard to get more. more of that attention he was giving to the entirety of your sweet pussy.

honestly, you were mad you hadn't just sat on his face to shut him up sometimes. and trust me, you'd thought about it. the ball of his tongue piercing rolled continuously on your clit with speed, as you damn near closed your legs in overwhelming pleasure. this nerd was flicking your clit raw, but you loved every moment of it. "just like that," you whined, yanking his hair a little too harsh. if you had pulled it the right way, he might've just cum in his pants for the second time that night.

"mfphm, fuck armin!" you squealed a little too loud, that wretched piece of metal and his tongue making you cry tears of and pleasure. it seemed almost sadistic with the way he kept repeating the same motion that made your legs shake and quiver. "okay, armin, m'cummin!" and all those words did, was spur him on. watching as he attempted to push his face into your sticky cunt, your leg locked up, with your back arching steeply.

you came hard, but that didn't stop armin from flicking his tongue on your clit, over and over again. and the worst part? you couldn't get him to move away. "okay, i get it!" you moaned out, damn near screaming. he was lucky that your legs felt weak, or else he would've been crushed by your thighs, not that he would mind. "armin, i'm done!" you sobbed out, and the obscene sounds of him slurping and sucking on your pussy never stopped. your hand moved to place itself on his head and attempt to push him away.

a feeling arose in your tummy, something unfamiliar, and at the point you were crying hot tears. you even couldn't let out one coherent sentence before you came again. even harder than the first. you genuinely felt ethereal, ringing in your ears and seeing nothing but white. your heartbeat was in your ears as he finally removed himself after riding your orgasm out.

two slim fingers slowly slipped into your cunt. "you bastard,"

"hey, that's not anyway to talk to the guy that just gave you the orgasm of your life," he pouted, fingers curving upwards towards your g-spot as you moaned out loud. he swiftly pulled them out before slapping your cunt.

you sat up immediately, and gave him one harsh slap across his face. "you said you've never eaten pussy, what the hell was that?" you huffed out.

"thanks!"

"it wasn't a compliment,"

that sneaky bastard. of he knows how to eat it. but now you had to find out if he could lay it down. well, you actually didn't have to worry about that, cuz baby, despite cumming in his pants twice, he still had more in him.

that fucking nerd.

[sirfrogsworth]

The Price of "Efficiency"

There is a classic story about writing in space. It typically goes something like,

"NASA spent millions of dollars developing an ink pen so they could write in microgravity.

Russia used a pencil."

It became a parable about efficiency and bloated, wasteful budgets and overcomplication.

And without nuance, it feels like a good lesson. It's a simple teaching you can store in your brain and it can help you avoid complication when simplicity will work just as well.

But the parable is a lie.

There is a reason they spent millions of dollars making a space pen. Pencils in space are fucking dangerous. If one splinter or shard or speck gets loose in zero gravity that fucker can float directly into your eyeball.

There is a more modern version of this story. Congress will look over NASA or the military's budget and ask why they need $400 hammers or bolts that cost $50 apiece. They will hold up a bag of bolts and tell the taxpayer they are getting screwed.

But the NASA hammer has the pencil problem. If a shard of steel breaks off that hammer in zero gravity, it's a big problem. It could float into an important electrical system and cause a short. Maybe even a fire.

And those bolts might be for a $50 million fighter jet. They need to be custom manufactured to extreme tolerances. And you'll be glad you paid for those $50 bolts because replacing the fighter jet will end up being much more costly.

This is a concept Elon Musk should understand considering his work at SpaceX. People often deride SpaceX when a rocket blows up. They see it as a giant waste. But that is a normal part of rocket development. If you want to make a better rocket, you cannot avoid blowing a few into smithereens.

Everything needs context.

You have to consider nuance before making huge unilateral decisions about apparent wasteful spending. The folks who run these programs should be allowed to defend their existence. But outside his own interests, Elon can only seem to see space pens when Russian pencils will suffice. He is looking at these programs and making no effort to see the nuance.

They say USAID gives more money to "governance" than they give to "humanitarian aid."

HOW WASTEFUL!

Except a lot of humanitarian aid gets stolen without government infrastructure to secure and deliver said aid.

Waste happens. Fraud happens. I have no doubt.

But figuring out what is *actually* wasteful is a difficult job that takes a lot of research and understanding.

But also, sometimes the fraud and the waste are worth it. Large companies will actually factor theft and fraud into their budget because it would be more costly to try and prevent it. They consider it "the cost of doing business."

But it seems no fraud or waste is acceptable to a conservative when the goal is helping people. 100% efficiency is required. You can't give all kids school lunches because some of those kids have rich parents. You can't give people disability income because some will take advantage.

Apparently if you can help millions of people but you have to absorb 10% of the cost due to fraud... well that is just unacceptable.

It's better to help no one at all.

Oftentimes Republicans will create anti-fraud programs that end up costing more than the actual fraud happening. And all the anti-fraud programs end up doing is making deserving people jump through extra hoops.

Get a lawyer. See an approved doctor. Gather 20 years of evidence that you've been disabled. Whoops, they didn't request the proper records. Start over.

That was basically my disability case. I was already on disability. They had already determined I was disabled 20 years ago. But I had to prove that I was disabled all over again to get the better kind of disability. They couldn't take their own word that I was disabled.

Those hoops were created because catching fraud is more important than helping people.

Not terribly efficient.

And then there is the "not our problem" approach.

Taxpayer money is "wasted" helping people in other countries. "We have homeless veterans! Why are we helping African babies?"

Giving out free condoms is one of the easiest and cheapest ways to stop the spread of disease. Sickness cares very little for imaginary borders. Saving lives in another country also saves lives here. It's mutually beneficial. We probably even prevented some of those homeless vets from getting infected.

No thought is being put into this scorched earth shit show.

As always... get fucked, Elon.

[polarisjisung]

ꨄ X-O, KISS ME, DON'T SAY NO

KISSES WITH ENHYPEN

pairings: enha x fem! reader genre: fluff wc: 1k warnings: use of petnames, slightly suggestive notes: I wrote this for dream had to do it for enha too ! | LIBRARY

HEESEUNG — desperate, flirty kisses

A simple peck doesn't exist for Heeseung. You're like his drug, once he gets a taste, he's addicted. Quick morning kisses are impossible. One peck on your forehead easily turns into a full makeout session and suddenly you're late for work. And not for a second is Heeseung worried about your impending anger, instead he'll try and convince you to call in sick, no work meant more time for kisses, right?

“Heeseung, I have places to be” You know it's no use arguing but you seem to try anyway.

You'd been in this situation countless times before, and it ended the same way each time. In your defence, Heeseung was pretty good at convincing.

“Yeah, want me to list a few?”

Something about a kiss-driven Heeseung is so exceptionally flirty. You both know that you're never getting out of this your way. “My arms, the bed, against the wall if you're into that.

Okay maybe you didn't take much convincing either.

“All of the above?”

Heeseung can't dispute that.

JAY — forehead kisses

Jay's kisses are spontaneous, but so tender and loving, like a scene cut out straight from a high school romance.

You're perched up on the sofa with your nose stuck in one of those picture-perfect romance books you love so much.

Jay can barely make out your face from the material of the hood pulled over your head.

You look cute. There's a pair of blue light glasses resting on your nose and your eyebrows are furrowed with concentration. Jay couldn't help but leave a soft peck against your forehead. He takes a couple moments to just sit beside you and stare, truly wondering how he ever got so lucky.

Next thing you know, his hand moves carefully to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear, his thumb positioned just under your chin, guiding you into a slow, soft kiss.

JAKE — messy kisses

Jake kisses like a man starved.

Hands tugging at your hair, arms around your waist, loud, shallow pants filling the room. It's like he can't get enough.

He pulls back to stare at you, breathless. But only for a moment.

To Jake, catching his breath seems awfully difficult when you're staring up at him with swollen lips and a sultry gaze.

“I could kiss you forever.”

His words are more a promise than a statement, and how could you not believe him when he pulls you back in so impossibly close, letting his cold fingertips run across your skin.

Both his hands cup your cheeks, passionately. Lips moving over yours with an unsteady, fervent rhythm, and so much urgency, you swear you feel your heart beat out of your chest.

Each time you kiss is like the first, brash. But Jake always holds you so tight, like he's afraid you'll disappear the second he lets go.

When he does finally pull away, Jake exhales a soft laugh, giggling almost.

“You alright?”

You can only nod, burying your face in the crook of his neck.

SUNGHOON — distracted kisses

Playful fights or debates like whether orange juice is better than apple (it's not) or whether milk comes before or after the cereal always seem to arise with you and Sunghoon.

Part of it has to do with the fact that Sunghoon thinks you look so insanely fine when you're passionately arguing your point forwards.

But somewhere along the way Sunghoon stops listening to what you're saying, eyes zeroing in on your lips when he'd come to a sudden realisation. That shade of lipstick suited you, a little too well maybe.

“Hoon, are you even listening?”

He nods, he's not listening.

He wouldn't have this problem if the lipstick wasn't there. But you were still explaining in full detail, hand gestures and everything. And as much as he loved to hear you ramble, Sunghoon could not concentrate.

He was going insane— he needed to kiss you. Now.

You don't really know why you continue, seeing as Sunghoon's clearly not present, but you can't help but gasp when he pulls you in close and crashes his lips to yours.

“You're right, I wasn't listening”

JUNGWON — soft morning kisses

Soft and intimate, that's what kissing Jungwon feels like.

There’s quiet whispers of ‘I love you's’ and the sweetest compliments.

Even if you've just rolled out of bed, when your hair's a mess and your eyes can barely open all the way, Jungwon thinks you're beautiful.

“Good morning my love” he presses a kiss to the back of your head, just below your ear as he slips past you on the couch, making his way to the kitchen so he can check on breakfast.

But he can only stay away for so long, running back a few minutes later with your morning coffee and a couple kisses to keep you occupied while you wait for it to cool down.

“I love you.” he'd keep it short and sweet, holding your face in hands with so much care. By the time breakfast is ready, not a single inch of your pretty face remains unkissed and that's an achievement Jungwon is insanely proud of.

SUNOO — giggly kisses

You and Sunoo are like the epitome of PDA— cuddling, quick pecks on the cheeks, always holding hands— you have to have your hands on each other at all times. It's sickeningly sweet.

And matters only get worse when your behind closed doors, Sunoo would spend all his time with his lips glued to yours if he could.

He's obsessed with you, and your strawberry flavoured chapstick is anything but helpful. He needs kisses, no matter what it is you're doing.

“Sunoo, I'm busy.” You roll your eyes at him playfully, but he only shrugs, spinning you around on your desk chair.

“Too busy for kisses?”

When you nod, it's Sunoo's turn to roll his eyes.

“Wrong answer.”

And he crashes his lips to yours just as he had intended, illiciting a few giggles from you, laughing at his urgency.

NI-KI — kisses in the rain

Kisses never last too long with riki, quick pecks, passionate and loving but short. Long kisses, something you'd both be down to try but had never actually made the effort to. It's felt scary, awkward, maybe?

The two of you always had a more easygoing relationship, so your more affectionate gestures had always been kept to a minimum.

Until one night when your car broke down and you found yourself stranded in the middle of nowhere.

Rain pelted down from the sky and the wind whistled loudly, but even so, you'd be a fool not to step out of the car and watch the sunset in person.

You and Riki sat with your legs crossed, dangerously close to the cliff edge, bodies pressed against each other as an attempt to conserve heat.

There was something about that moment— maybe the soft glow of the sky as the sun dipped just below the horizon — or the way your eyes beamed and sparkled as each strand of your hair slowly grew wet. Something so raw.

Riki couldn't even bring himself to hesitate, pulling you into his lap in one swift motion and kissing you urgently.

One hand reached back to grip your hair, and another cradled your chin, guiding your lips further into his.

Safe to say, kissing in the rain might just be his favourite.

taglist: @chenlezip @nanawrlds @mystverse @jenobubbles @flaminghotyourmom @lotties-readings

[juleswritesstuff]

The Pillow Contract

James Potter seems to have found the best pillow on earth. You.

james potter x fem!reader

warnings: none

James Potter liked to consider himself a man of simple pleasures. 

A good meal ? Heaven. A lazy Sunday spent wrapped in a blanket burrito ? Perfection. A well-timed, sarcastic remark ? Chef’s kiss.

But above all else, there was one thing James had come to love more than anything in the world.

Your chest.

Well, you as a whole, of course. Body and soul alike. He was not a bloody prick, thank you very much. 

He loved you for you, not just for the flawless vessel that carried your golden heart and your beautiful mind.

But he couldn't help the way he was especially drawn to the perfection that peeked from your neckline when your shirt hung a little lower than usual.

And he also could not, in good conscience, ignore the life-altering comfort that was that perfection.

Now, to be clear, James wasn’t just some guy obsessed with his girlfriend’s body –okay, maybe he was a little addicted. 

But, come on, who could blame him when you were said girlfriend ? 

He was supposed to be a bit obsessed with you, right ? That’s what every person in their sane, right and helplessly in love mind would be about their partner, no ? 

Was that just him ? 

Ok, fine, maybe he was a bit of a simp (read, you had him at your feet). So what ? 

He liked it exactly like that. Sue him.

But this ? This was different. 

This wasn’t just about attraction or some primal male instinct. No, this was about something sacred.

This was about comfort.

The kind that he’d accidentally stumbled upon one evening when you had curled up next to him on the couch, and his head had somehow –miraculously– ended up resting right on your chest.

That’s when he had discovered it.

The Holy Grail of pillows. The pinnacle of all headrests.

Your chest was perfect. 

Warm. Soft. Inviting.

It had been life-changing. Existence-altering. World-stopping.

And in that moment, with his head resting against the softest, most heavenly cushion known to mankind, and your heart beating under his ear like a lullaby, James had made a decision.

He was never going back to regular pillows again.

Ever.

The problem was, he didn’t exactly know how to turn this into a permanent arrangement without looking like an absolute fool.

Which, really, was ironic, because James didn’t mind acting like the biggest dumbass in the world when it came to you. Not even a tiny bit.

The man had zero shame, and zero chill when you were involved.

If he had to beg ? Done.

If he had to bribe you with kisses ? Oh no, how awful.

If he had to declare his undying devotion in front of his friends and suffer their relentless teasing ? Call Sirius and Remus over, he was ready to suffer.

If he had to wear one of those, frankly quite obnoxious --yes, even for him-- ‘I ❤️ My Girlfriend’ shirts in public just because you wanted him to suffer a bit for forgetting the chores ? Consider it his new favorite outfit.

He’d do anything and everything –yes, even sacrificing his dignity in front of Pads and Moony– if it meant putting a smile on your face (and making you agree to be used as a headrest for the rest of your life. But let’s just say that was a teeny, tiny, wonderful bonus if the case ever came to be).

Tonight was his chance, he told himself.

You were already curled up on the couch, wearing one of his hoodies, your legs tucked beneath you as you scrolled through your phone. The dim lighting of the room cast a soft glow over you, and James took a moment to appreciate the scene. 

Because, honestly ? You looked really good.

Too good.

Like, unfairly good.

The hoodie –his hoodie, the one he had technically claimed as his favorite, but which spent more time on your body than his closet– was slightly oversized on you, slipping off one shoulder in a way that made his brain short-circuit for a second.

This was his moment.

You were comfortable. The couch was comfortable. 

And your chest ? Well, that was a level of bliss he had yet to find anywhere else in the world.

Time to execute: Operation Smothered by Heaven.

Ok, the name was a little ridiculous. But, to his defence, he had been a little distracted while thinking about it –the dress you were wearing mysteriously met the floor not even five minutes after he had taken a glimpse of you– and his brain had refused to work at his full potential.

Something that he absolutely couldn’t let happen now. 

Not when the fate of his comfort and sanity was at such a high risk.

That’s why he casually –so casually– stretched like a giant cat just waking up from a nap, letting out an exaggerated yawn before –still ever so nonchalantly, of course– leaning closer.

And would you look at that ? His head, as if drawn by an invisible magnetic force he absolutely had no control on –God forbid– found its way to your chest.

It was seamless. 

Flawless execution.

Absolutely fucking nailed that.

He gave himself a mental high five.

Operation Smothered by Heaven: officially successful.

“Wow. Smooth” you blinked down at him, amused.

James grinned but didn’t move. Not even an inch. Nope. 

He had claimed his rightful place, and there was no going back now.

“What can I say ? Gravity is a powerful thing” he purred, his voice smug, his eyes half-lidded like a cat who had just found the warmest sunspot in the house.

“Ah, I see. So this is all gravity’s fault, then ?”

“Absolutely” he confirmed, burrowing his face in just a little more “I have no control over it. Pure science”

You snorted, shaking your head, but you didn’t push him away. 

Of course you didn’t.

If anything, you shifted slightly, letting your arm drape around his back, your fingers absentmindedly tracing along his spine. He hummed in approval, his whole body melting against yours like ice under the warm sunlight of a summer’s day.

Because the thing James didn’t know –or, at the very least, seemed to forget– was that he wore his heart on his sleeve. Always.

James Potter and secret scheming ? Not a good match. 

Not a match at all, actually. But you still liked watching him try.

And with the way he had been ogling you for the past week, it really wasn’t hard to figure out what had been brewing in that ridiculously pretty head of his.

His thoughtful frown, the way his brows scrunched together, his deep-in-thought lip-biting. James had looked like he was trying to crack some highly classified government code.

Except the code in question was you.

Or, more specifically, that area right below your neck that seemed to steal his attention more times then it should've been considered healthy.

Subtle, he was not.

He had been studying you. Analyzing the way your sweaters dipped lower when you leaned forward, the way the fabric of your shirts clung to your curves, the way–

God.

James had the audacity to look like he was pondering the meaning of life when, really, all he was trying to find was an excuse.

Funny how he could’ve just asked.

It wasn’t like you would have refused him.

Hell, you didn’t even think you possessed the ability to refuse him. To refuse him anything, really.

But your smitten and extremely down-bad behavior when it came to your boyfriend was a topic for another time.

James let out a deep, satisfied sigh.

“You know” he murmured, voice slightly muffled as he nuzzled closer “I think I’ve discovered something important”

“Oh ?”

“Mhm” he tilted his head up, his expression dead serious. Like a man delivering a life-changing revelation “Your chest ? Best pillow I’ve ever used”

You raised an eyebrow, a quiet grin making its way onto your mouth. “I should be flattered, I think”

“You should be honored” he corrected, his lips quirking into a lazy smirk “I mean, it’s a very competitive market. But yours ? Easily top-tier”

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t hide the smile tugging at your lips. “Is that right ?”

James nodded solemnly. 

“Hell yeah, baby. I’d even write a five-star Yelp review if that were a thing”

You let out a soft laugh and slid your fingers into his hair, gently scratching at his scalp.

James immediately melted.

He let out a low, contented hum, eyes slipping shut, the tension in his body dissolving completely. You thought if he was a cat, he would’ve started purring.

“Mmh. Keep doing that, and I might never get up” he mumbled, voice already laced with drowsiness.

“Wouldn’t mind that” you teased.

Because, really, who in their right mind would complain about this ?

No one, that's who.

And surely not you.

James hummed in response, his arms tightening around your waist burying himself further into you. You could feel the steady rise and fall of his breathing, the warmth of his body seeping into yours. 

His lips brushed absentmindedly against your collarbone –a barely-there press of warmth that sent a quiet shiver down your spine.

This. This was perfection.

Then, because James Potter simply could not help himself, he tilted his head up again.

“So, uh... just out of curiosity. How often do you think I can get away with this ?”

You smirked. “That depends”

“On ?”

“How well you behave”

James’ eyes darkened slightly, though amusement still played at the edges. 

“Define behave” his voice dropped, all smooth and teasing, like he could coax an answer out of you if he said it just right.

You arched a brow, pretending to think. 

“Well, let’s see. No stealing the blankets at night. No pretending you don’t hear me when I ask you to grab something from the kitchen. And definitely no distracting me when I’m trying to get work done”

James gasped, offended.

“That last one is unreasonable and you know it”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Oh, is it ?”

“Yes. It is literally part of my rights as your boyfriend to distract you”

You hummed, pretending to ponder your decision.

“Well, if we can do nothing about that…” your hand cupped his cheek, slender fingers applying a gentle pressure to lift his face up from that cocoon of warmth he had nestled himself into.

He blinked. “I-wait. What ?”

Before he could fully register what was happening, you leaned down and captured his lips in a slow, lazy kiss.

James melted.

Like, gone. Out of commission. Absolute goner.

The smug confidence he had a second ago ? Obliterated.

His hands, which had been lazily resting at your waist, tightened, pulling you closer like he never wanted to let go. One of them trailed up your spine, fingers tangling into your hair, holding you there like this was oxygen and he needed it to breathe.

You sighed against his lips, feeling the way he shuddered, the way his grip on you tightened, like he was physically trying to keep himself from falling apart.

Like you had just ruined him.

And maybe you had.

Because when you pulled back just enough to catch your breath, James just blinked at you, dazed and utterly wrecked, lips still parted like he hadn’t quite caught up with reality yet.

You bit back a smirk.

Unbelievable.

How had this man made a full-time career out of turning you into putty, and yet one well-placed kiss had him looking like he’d just been personally blessed by the universe ?

You dragged your fingers lazily through his curls, watching the way his lashes fluttered at the sensation, the slow, dopey grin tugging at his lips.

Completely gone.

You tilted your head, murmuring teasingly against his mouth “Was that up to your standards, Mr. Five-Star Review ?”

James, still grinning –and still absolutely useless– just nodded.

"Five stars ? That was worth the entire Milky Way, baby"

You let out a laugh, and he practically glowed at the sound, his fingers flexing against your waist like he wanted to bottle it.

Then, before you could say anything else, he tilted his head, brushing his nose against yours in that infuriatingly sweet way of his.

"You know-" he murmured, voice all warm and syrupy "-if this is part of my reward system, I promise to be so good"

You smirked, fingers tracing idle patterns into the back of his neck. “Do you now ?”

James nodded solemnly, though the grin he was fighting gave him away.

“The best. Model citizen. Proper gentleman. Will hold doors, carry bags, call you milady unironically if I have to”

You snorted. Loudly.

"Now that, I need to see"

He hummed, tilting his head up like he was about to deliver the most profound statement of his life.

“Mmh. Maybe after another kiss”

Your eyes narrowed playfully. “That so ?”

He nodded again, already leaning in, his lips curling mischievously.

You let your fingers drag slowly down the back of his neck, feeling the way James shivered under your touch.

The moment stretched, thick with something warm and electric, the air between you charged in that intoxicating way it always was whenever you teased him like this.

You leaned in deliberately, lips hovering just over his, close enough that you could feel the ghost of his breath, the heat radiating off his skin.

James, for all his usual smugness, stilled, his lazy smirk faltering into something softer, deeper. His lips parting slightly, his pupils dark and expectant.

Waiting.

Wanting.

You let your gaze drop to his lips, watching as his tongue darted out just once, a quick, unconscious flick, like he was already tasting the kiss before it happened.

And, God, he was beautiful like this.

All that usual bravado stripped down to this, his sharp edges melted, his hands twitching slightly where they rested on your hips, fighting the urge to pull you closer.

His restraint was admirable.

His patience ?

Well. That was something you just had to test.

You leaned in that final inch –only for your lips to land on his cheek instead.

Soft. Chaste. Infuriating.

James let out a dramatic, suffering groan, his head thunking back against the cushions.

“Tease” he mumbled, voice hoarse, his hands finally losing their battle as they gripped your waist, fingers pressing into your sides like he was physically holding back the urge to grab your face and kiss you properly.

You pulled back just enough to grin down at him, impossibly pleased with yourself.

“What ?” you asked innocently, tilting your head “You asked for a kiss. You didn’t specify where, love”

He cracked one eye open, glowering.

“Oh, that’s dirty” he grumbled, before huffing dramatically and rolling onto his back, taking you with him.

You yelped as you landed against his chest, sprawled across him, your laughter cut off when his arms wrapped around you, pinning you against him with the strength of a human vice grip.

“James-”

“Nope” he said, shoving his face into your neck like a petulant child, muffling his words “You’re stuck here now. Actions have consequences”

You laughed, wiggling in his hold, but he just tightened his grip.

“James”

“Mmm. Nope”

“I-”

“Shh. Thinking about my suffering”

You rolled your eyes, smiling despite yourself, your fingers naturally finding their way into his curls again, scratching lightly at his scalp.

He made a sound, deep and content, his body practically melting beneath you.

“See ?” you teased, voice softening “That wasn’t so bad”

He exhaled heavily, but his hands had already started skimming over your back again, lazy and unbothered, like he’d completely forgotten why he was fake-pouting in the first place.

“Mmh” he hummed “Don't know. Still feel like you owe me”

You smirked, arching a brow. “Oh ?”

“Yeah” James sighed dramatically, finally tilting his head up again. Looking at you.

That expression.

Soft. Mischievous. A little challenging.

Maybe even a little hopeful.

Like he was just waiting for you to put him out of his misery.

You let the moment stretch for a beat longer, lips quirking.

Then, with a small, amused sigh, you finally gave in.

And kissed him properly.

For a few moments, the two of you just stayed like that, tangled together, basking in the warmth of each other’s touch.

You felt him smile against your lips before he pulled back just enough to murmur “So… hear me out”

“Oh boy” you sighed, already knowing. 

James just grinned, completely unbothered by your lack in faith in him.

“What if we made this a permanent arrangement ?”

You let out a soft laugh, tilting your head at him. “A permanent arrangement ?”

“Yeah. Like, an official thing. A contract, even” he lifted his head slightly, hie expression the picture of seriousness “Something binding. A legally recognized agreement that states you will be my official human pillow for the foreseeable future”

You stared at him, an eyebrow quirked in amusement, lips twitiching. 

“You want to draft a pillow contract ?”

James nodded, almost professionally. 

“For accountability purposes”

You rolled your eyes, a disbelieved chuckle leaving your lips before you could stop it. 

“You’re ridiculous”

“But lovable” he pointed out.

You exhaled, shaking your head, your heart betraying you with the sheer amount of fondness you felt for this man.

“Fine” you relented, rolling your eyes as if you weren’t already completely gone for him “You win. You can rest on me whenever you want”

James grinned like he’d just won the lottery, wasting no time in smacking a quick, eager kiss right on your lips.

“But” you added, poking him in the ribs “I reserve the right to move if you start drooling”

“Excuse me ?” he gasped, offended “I do not drool”

You smirked. “That’s not what the couch cushions say”

James gasped again, dramatically this time, like you had personally insulted his honor “That was one time-”

“Oh, it so wasn’t”

James pouted, pulling you even closer and pressing his forehead against yours with a grumble.

“You wound me” he muttered, a mock distraught lilt to his voice.

You grinned, the warmth of him, the smell of him, completely surrounding you as you pressed a kiss to his jaw, lingering just enough to feel the way his breath hitched.

“I think you’ll survive just fine”

He hummed, tilting his head slightly, inviting you to keep going.

So you did.

You let your lips trail along his jawline, slow and lazy, your fingers threading through the curls at the nape of his neck, scratching lightly in a way that made him melt.

“Well” James sighed, voice lower, heavier, the tiniest shiver running through him “If this is how you comfort me, I guess I’ll forgive you”

You laughed against his skin.

“How generous”

James smirked, but there was something else in his eyes now, something wicked, something that sparked just before–

Before the menace shimmied down.

Yes. Shimmied. Like a man with a mission.

“James-”

Your protest was cut off by laughter, because he was determined, wriggling lower and lower with expert precision, slipping out of your hold like a human-sized golden retriever trying to find the perfect spot on the couch.

And then, with a triumphant sigh, his head landed where he had been aiming all along–

Right on your chest.

James let out a deep, satisfied hum, snuggling in, his nose nuzzling into the soft fabric of your shirt like this was some long-lost paradise he had just returned to.

“Now we’re talking” he exhaled in sheer satisfaction, like the heaviest of weights had been lifted from his shoulders, snuggling even deeper, and muttering an appreciative “Mmh. Yep. Definitely five stars”

You blinked down at him, helpless to fight the way your heart swelled, a smile threatening to bloom against your better judgment.

“Should I start charging you for this service ?” you teased.

James hummed, content, his lips brushing absently against the skin just below your collarbone.

“I’d go broke, baby”

You let out a soft, breathy laugh, your fingers finding their way back into his hair, your nails scratching lightly at his scalp.

He groaned, pressing his face deeper into your chest, mumbling something incoherent that you were pretty sure translated to never stop doing that.

Before you could fully process how utterly whipped this man was, he pressed a soft, lingering kiss there –just because he could.

You pulled back slightly, blinking down at the mop of messy chocolate strands currently buried between your collarbones. 

“Do you make a habit of kissing all your pillows ?” you asked, voice mildly amused despite the unreasonable warmth now flooding your chest.

James, completely unashamed, grinned against you. 

“Pillows don’t usually deserve appreciation, but this one ?” his fingers traced slow, lazy patterns against your waist, his voice dropping to a reverent murmur “This one gets special treatment”

A full-body shiver rolled through you.

And James, that absolute menace, felt it.

His smirk was obnoxiously satisfied as he nuzzled in even deeper, practically purring as he molded himself further against you.

You rolled your eyes, trying –truly trying– to ignore the overwhelming affection clawing at your ribcage. And utterly failing.

“Jamie, you’re gonna choke like this” you warned playfully, fighting against yourself not to let out the endeared laugh threatening to spill.

He made a noncommittal noise, fully unbothered.

“Best way to go, honestly”

And that was it.

Not one beat missed. Not a single ounce of shame registered in his voice.

You stared wide-eyed at the mop of untamable chocolate curls right below your chin, completely bewildered by the words that had just come out of your boyfriend’s mouth.

Did this man, the actual love of your life, just casually declare that he would willingly –no, gladly– perish via boob-related asphyxiation ?

Because that was what it sounded like.

Was that a normal thing for a person to say ?

No. No, it wasn’t.

And yet—here you were.

"James"

“Mmm ?”

"James, get up"

"No"

You sighed, trying to nudge him off, but it was useless.

Because this man –this grown, six-foot, sport-trained, annoyingly fit man– was currently clinging to you like a koala experiencing its first-ever existential crisis.

And you knew –you knew– that there was no reasoning with a man who had just fully committed to making your chest his final resting place.

"James-"

"No"

"You cannot suffocate yourself on my–"

"I can and I will"

"You will not"

James lifted his head just enough to look at you with actual betrayal.

"How dare you harm a man in his final moments ?"

A stunned laugh escaped before you could stop it.

“Oh my god, you’re ridiculous”

James smirked triumphantly.

“And yet-” he murmured smugly “-you don’t seem to mind it”

He barely gave you a second to respond before he nuzzled right back in, burrowing into your chest like you were some long-lost paradise he had finally returned to.

You stared at the ceiling, dead inside.

How was this your life ?

You used to have dignity.

You used to be a strong, independent person.

And yet, somehow –somehow– you had become a glorified human mattress for your very large and very needy boyfriend.

And the worst part ?

You didn’t even mind.

You sighed deeply, fingers slipping into his hair against your better judgment. James melted immediately, exhaling in a way that was obscenely pleased. Like if he were any more relaxed, he'd have dissolved into a puddle of mushy, lovesick goo.

Then, with the solemnity of a man about to deliver a groundbreaking presidential address, he cleared his throat.

You barely had time to register the shift before he–

“Ladies” James began, his voice smooth, reverent “It’s always a pleasure”

Your mouth fell open.

Did he just–

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

“I just wanted to take a moment to express my deepest gratitude” he continued talking to your breasts, completely ignoring the look of utter disbelief and sheer horror plastered on your face and sighing dramatically “For your service. For your warmth. For providing me with the best naps of my life”

Your soul, quite frankly, left your body, just straight-up abandoned you.

“James–”

He shushed you.

Shushed you.

“I’m having a moment with my girls, baby” he whispered, like he was delivering a speech at fucking Buckingham Palace.

You gaped at him. “You are not-”

“I am” he placed a hand over his heart “They deserve it”

You had never contemplated murder so seriously in your life.

James, completely unbothered, pressed on. 

“I promise to treat you with the respect and admiration you deserve. To appreciate your softness in all its glory. To-” he paused, tilting his head “Actually, I feel like I should name you”

“For the love of God, James. Don’t you dare-”

He gasped. 

Gasped. 

“That’s a brilliant idea. Baby, why haven’t we named them ?”

You smacked his arm, your eyes so wide they threatened to fall out of your skull. “Because they are literally attached to my body ?!”

But he wasn’t listening. No, the absolute menace was thinking, brows furrowed in deep concentration.

“They deserve names that reflect their greatness. Something regal. Something powerful”

He snapped his fingers. “Got it. Thelma and Louise”

You groaned. “Absolutely fucking not”

James ignored you. 

“Or maybe Hall and Oates ?”

“I- What- Aren’t they both men ?”

“Gender’s nothing but a social construct, darling”

“Ok-”

A sudden gasp interrupted you, as if he had just discovered the meaning of life itself.

"Baby- Baby, I’ve got it"

You sighed, already regretting everything. "James, no"

"Yes" he insisted, eyes alight with the thrill of an idiot about to say something profoundly stupid "Bonnie and Clyde"

You blinked. Once. Twice. 

"You want to name ‘your girls’ after two actual criminals ?"

He nodded solemnly, as if he were making the most reasonable suggestion in the world. "Iconic criminals. Star-crossed lovers. Thrill-seekers. Just like us, babe"

"Just like us ?" you repeated, incredulous "James, they literally died in a hail of bullets"

"Tragic, right ?" he sighed dramatically, resting his cheek against your chest. "Just two outlaws against the world. Inseparable. Madly in love. Probably great at robbing banks"

You stared at him, completely dead inside. "Are you about to compare my chest to a highly coordinated armed robbery ?"

James lifted his head just enough to grin at you. 

"Well” he mused, eyes twinkling “they did steal my heart"

You were done. So done, in fact, that you just gave up entirely.

"I cannot believe this is my life" you muttered, shoving your hands over your face.

James, the absolute menace, took this as encouragement and nuzzled back in, pressing obnoxiously reverent kisses between his newly christened 'Bonnie and Clyde'.

"Rest easy, my loves" he murmured dramatically "Your legacy shall live on"

"James-"

"Shhh" he hushed, patting your side "They're outlaws, baby. They don’t play by the rules"

At that point, you seriously considered pushing him off the couch. Or out the window. 

Maybe both.

You shook your head, defeated, completely annihilated by your boyfriend’s questionable choices.

James grinned, entirely too pleased with himself. 

“Oh, come on. I’m just having a bit of fun” he chuckled lightheartedly, turning his attention back to your chest with the solemnity of a man who had just finished writing a best-selling novel “Well, ladies, whatever your names may be, just know –you have my eternal devotion”

And then, as if he hadn’t just committed the most embarrassing crime against you, he nestled back in with a satisfied hum.

You stared down at him, deadpan. 

“You’re an actual menace”

“And yet, despite that, you love me” he mumbled, already half-asleep.

You sighed, your fingers automatically sliding into his hair once again. It took him less than two seconds to turn into a puddle, his entire body going limp as he exhaled in the most ridiculously pleased way possible, like he had just been given an award for the best nap ever.

“Unfortunately” you muttered, your heart melting just a little bit too, because, yes, he was a ridiculous man, but he was your ridiculous man.

And, as much as you complained, you couldn’t deny it --having James like this, warm and completely wrapped around you, was its own kind of perfect.

The Pillow Contract (Unofficially Signed & Approved) 

Clause 1: James gets unlimited chest pillow privileges.

Clause 2: Y/n reserves the right to kick James off if he drools in his sleep.

Clause 3: Cuddles are mandatory.

Clause 4: James won't ever refer to Y/n's chest as ‘Bonnie and Clyde’ again. Penalty: annulment of Clause 1.

Hello beautiful people 💗

I have no idea of where this thing spouted from. It popped in my head, and I had to bring it to the world 😂.

This is my first attempt at a more humorous type of fic. I had so much fun writing it, and I really hope it didn't downright suck, and you had a good time reading it, too.

Let me know what you think!

Thank you for reading, and I'll catch you in the next one <3

[dravidious]

You're more amazing than the Hardware Store

I finally decided to crack open my old SD card backups to see if I could transfer the save data on my old games and it turns out I can! So now I have my old HarmoKnight, Rhythm Heaven Megamix, and Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate saves back!

[sillygoose067]

Couch Cuddles

Lewis Pullman x Reader

Lewis had always been a creature of comfort. Sunday afternoons were sacred—feet up on the coffee table, the soft hum of a sports announcer in the background, a half-finished mug of tea going cold beside him. He had a habit of mumbling commentary at the game under his breath, like the players could hear him and would immediately make better choices.

You were used to it by now—his grumbles, his sighs, the dramatic little “Oh, come on”s he tossed at the TV like it personally offended him. You’d grown kind of fond of it, actually.

A couple of years into your relationship, and the two of you had fallen into an easy rhythm. The kind that made words optional. You knew what snack to bring him when he got that mid-afternoon slump look, and he knew how to wordlessly pass you the charger before you even realized your phone was dying. It was simple. Familiar. Soft in all the right ways.

Still… sometimes you wanted to stir the pot just a little.

You’d been in the bedroom for a while, doing absolutely nothing productive, when the low hum of Lewis’s voice floated in—something about a penalty, followed by a long, dramatic sigh. You smiled to yourself, climbed off the bed, and padded into the living room.

Lewis was sprawled across the couch in full weekend mode: hair slightly messy, wearing that faded black shirt you loved—soft as anything, stretched just right across his shoulders and chest. The remote rested on his stomach, forgotten, and his legs were long and inviting and obviously not expecting company.

Perfect.

You approached silently and knelt beside the couch. He glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, relaxed and curious.

“Hey,” he murmured.

“Hi,” you chirped, grinning just a little too much.

Then, with zero warning, you hooked your fingers under the hem of his shirt and started crawling underneath.

Lewis flinched, caught off guard. “Wait—what? What are you—?”

You shushed him like he was the one being ridiculous.

“Shh. Accept your fate.”

You wriggled up between his legs, pushing his shirt up with you until your head popped through the collar like a very determined kitten. Face now directly in front of his, nearly nose to nose, you blinked at him innocently.

“Hi again.”

He stared at you, deadpan. “You are inside my shirt.”

“I sure am,” you said brightly.

Lewis made a face somewhere between amused and exhausted. “You know there are other, less invasive ways to cuddle, right?”

“I’m maximizing surface area,” you argued, snuggling in deeper. “It’s scientifically optimal.”

He huffed a soft laugh, his arms hovering awkwardly before settling around your waist, like he couldn't not hold you even if he wanted to pretend this was entirely your problem.

“You’re lucky I like you,” he muttered.

“You love me,” you corrected with a dramatic little pout.

He tilted his head, pretending to consider. “Tolerate.”

You gasped. “Lewis!”

He grinned then, quietly pleased with himself. His fingers squeezed gently at your hips. The teasing melted into something warmer as you relaxed fully into his chest—pressed close, tucked under the fabric like you’d always belonged there.

He was solid and warm beneath you, skin meeting skin in a lazy sprawl of limbs and softness.

“You good?” he asked, voice quieter now.

You nodded against his neck, cheeks smooshed affectionately into him. “Mhm. You’re cozy.”

Lewis chuckled, the sound low in his chest. “You’re such a weirdo.”

“Your weirdo.”

“Unfortunately.”

You giggled and gave him a gentle kiss just below his jaw. He flushed a little at that—subtle but there, his arms tightening around you in a way that made it clear he was never going to complain about this level of ridiculous affection, not really.

The game continued to drone in the background, completely ignored now. You nestled closer, his hand absentmindedly tracing shapes along your back, both of you melted into one lazy tangle.

After a few minutes of peaceful silence, Lewis shifted just enough to murmur near your ear.

“You’re stretching the hell out of this shirt, by the way.”

You pulled back, mock-offended. “Wow. Body heat and judgment?”

He smiled, kissed your temple, and said softly:

“Still worth it.”

[rafeys-angel13]

golfing with rafe

summary: you have zero interest in golf but rafe wants you to come with him so you do. and after he takes care of you to say thank you.

warnings: none

writers notes: i had to google half of this stuff. i actually have no interest in golf but i definitely have interest in rafe playing golf 😋 also im too tired to proofread this so there may be mistakes…

rafe is always golfing and you're always complaining about him always going golfing. so he decided to bring you along and show you how fun it can be.

you get ready, tying you hair up in two pigtails. you put on a white skirt and a pink tank top with some pink new balance sneakers with white frilly socks poking out the top.

"seriously? you couldn't have just worn leggings and a shirt or something?" rafe leans against the doorway of the bedroom.

"no, ew" you scoff and shake your head, "i wanted to look pretty, so i wore this..." rafe chuckles and pulls you in by your waist, kissing your head. he pulls one of your pigtails gently.

"you always look pretty, sweet girl..." he smiles softly and your cheeks flush.

"thank you, rafey..." you lean up on your tip toes and peck his lips.

"never a problem, babe..." he squeezes your side, you gaze up at him with eyes full of love. his heart basically melts. he pushes down the urge to keep you at home all to himself and takes your hand.

"come on... lets go.." he pulls you outside to the car, excited to spend some time with you doing something you enjoy you get into the car and sigh.

"do we have to, rafe? why golf?" you pout slightly.

"i always go shopping with you... you have to do some things i enjoy sometimes..." he squeezes your thigh gently.

"i guess... but can we not just like... have some cocktails at the country club bar or something... that seems like more fun..." you twirl your finger around a piece of hair.

"they have drinks on the course, sweetheart. i can get you a pink glittery one if that's what your heart desires..."

"really?" you gasp and smile. as he nods with a smug smirk on his face. he always knows exactly how to convince you.

once you guys get to the course, he explains the different clubs and what you use them for.

"so they're all used for different distances, shot types and situations on the course~" you try to listen, you really do, but all you can focus on is how tight his sleeves are on his big biceps. you nod as he talks, zoning out on his tanned, muscly arms.

"you listening, princess?" rafe chuckles, tugging your pigtail.

"yeah, of course" you smile up at him sweetly, wrapping your arms around his waist.

"don't think you were, sweetheart..." he squeeze you.

"okay, maybe i wasn't..." you giggle and he grabs your chin, pulling your head up to look at him.

"you gonna sit pretty and listen, angel?" he presses a few light kisses to your lips as if to persuade you to listen.

"yeah" you smile softly, easily convinced by his sweet kisses.

"okay... so- let me show you how to swing." he grabs a club and stands behind you, positioning your hips against his, crouching slightly to meet your hips. you let him help you hold the club properly.

"my nails-" you whine.

"christ, they're fine, baby... okay- now when you swing, keep your hips in place until the balls moving okay?" he demonstrates, moving your arms with his.

"okay..."

he sets down a ball and steps away from you.

"hit it, baby girl..." he smirks and looks you up and down, not missing your butt sticking out more than usual.

you swing and hit the ball quite a distance, it doesn't even land remotely near where you were aiming but rafe doesn't need to know that. you squeal excitedly and turn to look at him.

"atta girl" he smirks and pats your butt, "you're a natural, babe"

"yay" you giggle

you guys continue around the golf course, he explains tactics and rules as you go.

"rafe... slow down. what the hell are you even saying? can't i just hit the ball and hope it goes in? that seems much easier..."

"no baby... you gotta know how the rules work and how to plan your swing. here.. look" he takes the club off you and doesn't bother to line up the club with the ball and just smacks it, he turns back to you.

"if you don't plan it, it's shit. and you don't wanna lose, right?" he shrugs and you shake your head.

after starting to listen properly, you're starting to think this is pretty fun. rafe is beyond happy that you're enjoying something he also enjoys.

after a few hours, the sun starts to set and you guys head back home. once you get inside, you take your shoes off and lay on the couch.

rafe joins you, sitting next to you and pulling your legs over his lap.

"i'm tired..." you mumble and rub your eyes, your legs immediately relaxing as he starts to tub your thighs.

"yeah you look a little sleepy..." he says quietly, looking over your expression.

you smile slightly as he moves to your calves and rubs them too. after a few minutes of comfortable silence and him rubbing your legs, he speaks up again.

"come on, lets head to bed..." he stands up and takes your hand to lead you upstairs.

once you make it upstairs, he grabs your favourite pair of pyjamas and stands in front of where you're sat on the bed, lazily taking your hair down and makeup off.

"arms up, angel..." he instructs softly and you lift your arms up.

he takes off your tank top and bra, pulling the silky material of your pyjama top over your head and letting you slip your arms in.

"there you go... good girl. lets get this pretty little skirt off..." he smirks and you lift your hips up to help him slide it down your legs.

he swaps your skirt for the silk shorts with the little bow detail on the waistband.

"thank you..." you smile gratefully, yawning and rubbing your tired eyes yet again.

"was that a yawn, tired girl...?" he chuckles softly as he kisses your forehead, his lips lingering for a moment before moving down to kiss your cheek. he pulls the covers back and lays the pillows out how you like it.

"it's definitely time for bed, huh?" he lays you down and pulls the cosy white sheets over you. "there ya go... i've got you..." he smiles and presses a few kisses to your face, stripping down to his boxers and getting into bed next to you.

"sleep tight, sweetheart... thank you for coming with me today... you did well, i'm so proud of you..." he pulls your head against his chest gently.

"i need something in return..." you mumble tiredly.

"anything you want, angel... i'd give you the world if you wanted it, sweet girl..." he strokes your back softly, lulling you into a peacefull, much needed sleep.

"sweet dreams, beautiful..." he kisses your head and tries to get some sleep of his own.

-

[hollyoongs]

⤷ THANK YOU, SPIDEY!

시놉시스 ┆ tasm!𝙟ake, ─────⠀f!reader 𓂅 𝑤.𝑐: +4.5k ꒰ ⌗ fluff, angst and an attempt of crack ꒱ ↷⠀ ℰditoral ! 𓂂

It was one of those days where everything seemed to conspire against you; you knew it was going to be a rough day since you actually fell off the bed when your fifth alarm sounded, alerting you that you were going to be late. You watched your left wrist as you trudged through the bustling streets of New York City, sighing in relief as you noticed you still had time to arrive just in time.

Your camera bag felt heavy on your shoulder, but you blamed it on the fact that you couldn't shake off the feeling of exhaustion that clung to you like a stubborn shadow, in addition to the sweltering heat of the summer sun that only added to your irritation as you made your way to the Daily Bugle, where you were interning as a photographer.

Now, you actually liked your internship, despite the chaos that often unfolded around you. You have always liked capturing moments with your one and only camera, one that was a gift from your grandfather before passing away; he always told you that those pictures will always tell a story, freezing time with just the press of a shutter. But days like today tested your patience.

You finally entered the building, slipping past the crowded desks and skillfully dodging reporters that were frantically typing away at their articles; you could already hear Jameson ranting about something—but this time, it was someone. The new and masked hero in town, Spider-Man, was doing as he had usually done for the past 2 weeks.

Your possible future boss, Mr. Jameson, was notorious for his gruff demeanor and demanding nature, and today seemed to be no exception, as he barked orders at the staff. You adjusted the strap of your camera bag, rolling your shoulders as you approached your friend, Jay, who looked one bad headline away from quitting. When you sat on his desk, which was thankfully next to each other, he gave you a tired smile while handing you a bagel.

You gave it a bite and rolled your eyes in delight. “Don’t say anything; I brought another extra because I also skipped breakfast today.”

"You’re an angel… Rough already?"

"And it's not even 9 a.m." Jay spat in anger; you opened your bag to give him some of the jelly you always carry around. He took them slightly happier, tearing the packaging off and licking his lips before talking again. "He's now decided to put stupid challenges on everyone here. I spoke with his secretary, and she says he's getting jealous of the other newspaper company since they took the #1 place from us."

Jameson's screams got louder, and your neck turned to take a look at how he was walking to the employee launch. “Speaking of the devil.”

"Good luck." You raised an eyebrow at his words, looking back and forth at him and Jameson. “Hide the bagel.”

“What do you mean by ‘good luck’?” You whispered, but your expression spoke louder of the panic you started to feel.

"Ah, there you are," Mr. Jameson said. You braced yourself before turning to face him, a small smile plastered on your lips.

“Good morning, Mr. Jameson.”

"I've got a special assignment for you."

The word “special” itself was already making your brain think about any crazy options, feeling your heart sink at his words, knowing that whatever task he had in store would likely be thankless unless it benefited his pockets, just like Jay said in the past. But you nodded, steeling yourself for whatever was to come.

“May I know what you have in mind?”

"I want you to get me a picture of Spider-Man," he said bluntly, with no filter and zero emotions whatsoever.

Your jaw nearly hit the floor at his request. Spider-Man? The one that is the talk of the town? You opened and closed your mouth, struggling to form words that were nice. Jameson arched an impatient brow, his foot tapping against the tiled floor that was causing you a headache.

“Well? You got a problem with that?”

You glanced at Jay, who was suddenly very invested in his bagel, offering no help. Turning back to Jameson, you forced yourself to nod. “No, sir, just… How exactly do you expect me to find him? We have no—"

“You’re a photographer, aren’t you? Use your damn head! That wall-crawling menace shows up all over the damn city. He isn’t shy about swinging around like he owns the place!” After that screaming session, he rubbed his temple, as if you were the one giving him a headache when it was the complete opposite. “I don't care how you do it—just get me a photo clear enough for the front page, or you'll be out of your ear."

And just like that, he turned on his heel and stomped off, barking at another poor intern about coffee.

Jay let out a low whistle. “Damn, he really hit you with that assignment, huh?”

You exhaled sharply, running a hand through your hair. “What am I supposed to do? Just wander the city with my camera and hope Spider-Man swings by? Or maybe make an attempt of suicide to see if he can save me?”

“Wow, let’s not go that far, shall we?” He said, rolling his chair to your desk with a concerned face after seeing you actually think about your last question to attract the hero. “But I do think you just have to wait on the streets.” Jay shrugged, shoving the rest of his bagel into his mouth.

Sure, you’d seen Spider-Man in grainy photos on social media and extremely blurry clips on the news, but actually tracking him down? Getting a clear shot? That made a wave of panic wash over you.

The hours passed slowly, and 7 o'clock of the night finally arrived, which made you fly to the only place you were sure that you would be comfortable at the moment, Jake’s place.

More than his place, Jake has always been your safe haven, ever since you were kids. You still remember the first time you met—he was sitting alone in the playground, sniffling quietly while being bullied by a group of kids; the sight alone made you leave your friends behind for a moment to march right up to the ringleader and sink your teeth into his arm. You still remembered how Jake looked at you like you had just saved his entire world.

Since that day, you two became inseparable. He was the first person you’d call when you had good news and the first to show up when you needed a shoulder to lean on. He knew all your quirks, and in return, you knew him just as well. You knew the way he would start biting the straw of a drink he was having unconsciously, the way he always made sure you walked on the inside of the sidewalk, the way he’d drop everything the second he felt you needed him. Just like you need right now.

Work was way more stressful than usual, and that was reflected in your tensed shoulders that were screaming for a massage, but that would need to wait; the elevator reached the floor you picked, and you pushed the button to announce yourself. To your surprise, you found yourself with Ni-Ki.

“The del—oh, it’s just Y/N.” Before you could speak, he closed it again, soon hearing your name louder with a surprised tone, He opened the door again with a smile. You blinked at Ni-Ki, still processing the interaction. “Y/N! Hey! What are you doing here?” He leaned on the doorframe like nothing happened.

You squinted at Ni-ki, arms crossed. “Did you just try to shut the door at me?”

Ni-Ki let out a nervous chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. “What? No, no. That was just… muscle memory!”

“Muscle memory?” You deadpanned, and he nodded.

“Yeah! You know there are these random people knocking on the doors to bother, and I just always happen to be here when that happens, and I just… close the door.” He did some mimicry to what he said, but you weren’t buying it.

Your eyes flicked past him, trying to catch a glimpse inside, but Ni-Ki moved along his head. “Is Jake home?”

“Uh, nope! I mean, yeah, but, uh… he’s doing… something. You should probably come back later.”

“Right.” You took a step forward, but he quickly blocked your path, his leg and arm on the other side of the doorframe. You sighed. “Nishimura Ri-Ki!”

“Yes, ma’am?” He said, his voice clear like he was a soldier as he stood normally.

“I had a horrible day at work to the point that I will actually cry myself to sleep today due to the amount of work I have to do plus an almost impossible task Mr. Jameson gave to me. I just need to talk to you two to make this day less miserable.”

“And this is why we will go out for boba, my treat!”

Your eyes narrowed further. “Ni-Ki. Move.”

“No can do.” He leaned against the doorframe again, arms stretched wide.

“I’m literally just here to see both of you and to take a nap.”

“And I’m literally just making sure you don’t—uh, I mean, that you’re comfortable. Jake doesn’t want visitors right now, does he?”

You rubbed your forehead, already having enough. “I come over all the time, and Jake’s never cared before. What’s really going-”

“He’s touching himself!” Neither you nor he expected that sentence, your eyes opening wide at the statement, your cheeks getting warmer as seconds passed by. It was Ni-Ki’s turn to open his mouth, but before he could come up with another excuse, a loud thud echoed from inside the apartment, followed by a very familiar voice muttering a string of curses.

“Ni-Ki! I came!” Ni-Ki looked back and then at you, red in his face as he made a small dance.

“Good job, Jake! Glad you came! We will be right back!” His voice got a little higher, and with a panicked face and awkward laugh, he closed the door even harder than before, startling you. Soon, the noise of things falling, more curses, and somebody hitting himself with furniture was the only thing that actually kept you sane.

"Hold on a second!" A few seconds passed, and Jake was the one who opened the door. He had his hair messy; he had grey sweatpants on and a hoodie that was bigger than his usual size. "Hey lensgirl! Wow, you look tired."

“Yeah, no thanks to Mr. Jameson,” you muttered, rubbing your temples. “I swear he’s actually trying to kill me with work.”

Jake fully opened the door with concern written all over his face, and that’s when you went for a hug, this time with tears going down, noticeably crying.

Jake was taken aback by your sudden display of emotion, immediately wrapping his arms around you in a comforting embrace. "Hey, hey, it's okay," he murmured softly, rubbing your back soothingly. "What happened? Why are you crying?"

You sniffled, trying to compose yourself as you entered the apartment. "It's just… work," you managed to choke out between sobs. "Mr. Jameson… He wants me to get a photo of Spider-Man for the front page, and I—I don't know how to do it. I'm so screwed, Jake."

Jake's expression softened with understanding, though you had no idea just how much he truly understood. "Hey, it's okay," he repeated, guiding you to sit on the couch. "We'll figure it out, okay? You're not alone in this."

“And you know what’s the most fucked-up part? Until this morning, I had 2 weeks to give the picture, and he randomly decided to change the deadline to Thursday. I have three fucking days.”

Ni-Ki, hearing the commotion, came to the living room, a package of donuts in his hands. He took one donut and placed the rest on the table in front of the three of you. It was a very brief moment of silence before Ni-Ki spoke after taking a bite of his dessert. "You know what? Jake can help,"

You looked up at Ni-Ki, the hand Jake had in your back getting tense. "What did you say?"

"Jake knows Spider-Man. You could get a picture like that." He snapped his fingers to emphasize the quickness, and that’s when you lost it.

"Since when?!" You practically shouted at him, and he gave a shy smile, which you loved, but not right now since your only thought at the moment was of him being friends with the hero and not telling you.

Jake shot Ni-Ki a deadly glare, but the younger boy just shrugged, taking another bite of his donut like he hadn’t just dropped the biggest bombshell of the evening after all the excuses. You looked at Jake, and for a moment, he got lost in your eyes.

“I wouldn’t say ‘best friends,’ but… yeah.” You sat properly; your hands were now on his shoulders.

“So you know Spider-Man?”

“Uh… yes?”

“And you never told me?”

“I—well—”

“Y/N, you don’t understand,” Ni-Ki cut in. “Jake and Spider-Man are like this—” He crossed his fingers. “—so the picture? You got it.”

"Hey, your face looks awful due to the crying; how about we continue this conversation right after you clean yourself? Go to the bathroom; we will go to my bedroom." As you were protesting, Jake obligated you to go inside. The boys went straight to the room and locked it, Jake basically punching Ni-Ki for opening his mouth.

"Are you being serious?! Why did you say that?"

"You know I'm fond of her, and I can't stand her crying. And also, I'm doing you a favor; you've liked her since forever, and with this, you can make a move. And you know that she loves Spider-Man. I consider this a win."

Jake's heart raced as he processed Ni-Ki's words. He couldn't deny the truth about them. He had developed feelings for you for what felt like forever, but he never found the courage to act on them, and because of the sudden powers he got after being bitten by a spider, the dangers were too much to the point he would rather die with the secret in order to keep you safe if they get to know you’re his… something. That's how much he loved you.

Jake groaned, rubbing his face with both hands. “This is not a win, Ni-Ki! This is a disaster!”

Ni-Ki flopped onto Jake’s bed, unbothered. “You’re being dramatic.”

Jake paced the room. "Okay, okay," he muttered, running a hand through his hair in agitation. "But we have to be careful. She doesn't know about this, Ni-Ki. It's too risky."

Ni-Ki nodded solemnly, understanding the gravity of the situation. "I won't say anything else, I promise. Only you have to stay cool; you get too nervous around her. I'm surprised you're not right now," he assured Jake.

"Because someone opened his mouth."

"Stop crying and be grateful. I pulled a move that you couldn't make for the past 4 years."

The door of the bedroom opens to you with your face clean; you actually had to wash your face the moment you saw your mascara falling down your cheeks through the mirror. You took a seat next to Ni-Ki and once again looked at Jake.

“Please, Jake, I need to take a picture for the front page; otherwise, I’m fired. It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me the name of the person, but please.”

Jake shot Ni-Ki a glare before sighing. He couldn’t say no to you, not when you looked at him like that. But he also couldn’t risk exposing anything.

“Fine,” he relented. “I will talk to him and text you later.”

Your face lit up, smiling right away and contagiously affecting Jake with it. “Thank you so much, Jake. Really.”

Ni-Ki smirked as he watched the exchange, mouthing a silent “you’re welcome” to Jake, who simply rolled his eyes with the smile on his face when he felt small kisses on his neck.

Two days have already passed since that weird conversation and the explanation of Jake being friends with Spider-Man. It was still so odd to you, although that didn’t matter anymore when you felt your phone vibrating because of a text he sent to you.

"He’s arriving in five minutes; be ready!"

And here you were, waiting next to the entrance of the alley that was near the agreed-upon spot; it was getting late, and you could feel your heart beating fast when you saw a few guys in there, cigars in their hands, their auras as bad as how they looked. You felt a presence behind you, and you tried to move, but a hand grabbed you with enough force to pull you inside the alley.

"Hey, sweetheart," one of them said, his grip on your wrist tightened, making you wince.

“Let go of me!” You snapped, trying to yank your arm away, but another one of them stepped closer, blocking your escape.

“Shhh, relax,” another one chuckled, exhaling a puff of smoke before blowing it into your face. “We just want to talk.”

Your heart pounded in your chest as you ignored the leering comments from the men in the alley. You clutched your camera bag tightly, feeling a surge of unease as you realized just how vulnerable you were in this dimly lit space.

Just as panic threatened to overtake you, a familiar sound cut through the tension—a whoosh of air followed by the distinct thud of impact. Before you could even process what was happening, Spider-Man descended from the shadows, landing gracefully in front of you with his trademark agility.

"Hey there, fellas," Spider-Man said, his voice tinged with a hint of amusement. "I don't think the lady appreciates your company."

The men scoffed, eyeing Spider-Man with defiance and uncertainty. "And who are you supposed to be, huh?" One of them sneered, taking a step forward. You started taking your camera out of your bag, setting it up for a good shot, and taking as many photos as you could as both men focused on the hero.

Spider-Man's demeanor shifted subtly, his stance becoming more assertive as he addressed the group. "Let's just say I'm the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, and I'm not too keen on seeing people hassle innocent bystanders, especially this pretty girl," he replied, his tone firm.

The men hesitated, sizing up the masked vigilante before them. They could barely move as Spider-Man sprang into action, his movements a blur of speed. All his movements were well calculated, and so were his dodges; his combat skills were even more impressive up close than seeing them on TV; he was a superhero.

It didn’t take him five minutes to leave them groaning on the ground in defeat; he effortlessly dispatched the thugs, taking a deep breath before turning to you and lightly running to the place you hid yourself.

You watched in awe as Spider-Man, his masked eyes meeting yours—at least you think they did—with a sense of warmth and reassurance. You took your camera and looked at the pictures, so many good enough to be front-page material.

"Are you okay there?" he asked, his concern evident even behind the mask.

You nodded, feeling a sense of relief wash over you in his presence and how he came to you for these pictures. "Yeah, I'm okay," you stammered, still trying to process the whirlwind of events that had just unfolded before you. You felt some drops of water falling on your face, looking up at the sky and wondering if more drops were falling. "Damn it, it's raining."

"Then let me take you out of here." Without a warning, his hand wrapped around your waist, both of your bodies covering the camera; you felt his grip tender. "Hold on tight, lensgirl," you frown at the nickname. There's only one person that could call you like that, but you couldn't think much of it as you held dear life to him as he swung you around places, screaming and closing your eyes due to the fear.

You ended up on your apartment building—on your balcony, to be more exact—and the roof kept both of you off the water. You went inside for a moment to leave the camera in your bed and return. He was hanging from the ceiling as you watched him, forcing you to believe that everything that happened in the past ten minutes was not a dream.

"Don't you want to stand up? So you don't get dizzy."

"I like it this way. Don't worry. Are you okay?"

"Yes, I am. Thank you."

"No problem; that's my job."

"Because you're a hero," the masked guy sighs in front of you. It was one of those that made you question if he was really tired of hearing the word or if he had something else on his mind.

"Some people don't think so." And it was true; all the articles were more fake rumors to paint him as a bad guy; even your boys wanted to paint him as an awful person, not even considering that they are writing about someone who just really wants to help everyone.

"But you are, at least I think that."

"It's nice to have a fan as pretty as you."

"Let me say thank you."

"But you already did."

"I meant the pictures, not you saving me and my job." You approached him more, feeling the raindrops falling on your face; the sound of the rain in the background gave the ambiance.

He didn’t stop you, giving you a green light and trusting you; you slowly took the mask, only revealing his lips. A shiver ran down your spine, but it wasn’t from the cold rain. Your breath hitched as you took in the sight before you—it was a shape you had seen countless times, normal, curved in a teasing smile and even forming words that had irritated and amused you several times.

Your fingers trembled as you traced his lower lip, your mind going wild. No wonder Ni-Ki and Jake got nervous; no wonder Jake was the only one that could help you with the hero; and there's no wonder why he called you "Lensgirl."

Your pulse quickened as you whispered a sentence with the name you had a sinking feeling was correct.

"Thank you, Jake," when you felt his body stiffen, you placed your lips on his. His tense body shortly after calmed, and he slowly kissed back the almost electrifying kiss, his lips moving against yours in a way that felt so familiar. His fingers touched your hand in a way to ground himself, as if this moment wasn’t real unless he could feel you.

Everything made sense; all that scandal was all because he was Spider-Man, the hero you had admired from afar, and now he was the man whose lips were pressed against yours.

Time seemed to stand still as you lost yourself in the kiss, the world fading away until it was just the two of you tangled together on that rooftop balcony. The rain continued to fall, a steady rhythm against the loud city, but all you could hear was the pounding of your heart and the soft, almost shaky exhale Jake let out as he deepened the kiss.

The moment you decided to pull away, he rested his forehead against yours, your breath mingling in the space between you.

"Wait… how?" he steadied his voice before asking, his voice quieter now.

"You let out "Lensgirl," and I've stared at your lips too much to actually know the shape." Your lips curled into a small smirk; he finally dropped himself, taking off his mask completely, revealing his red cheeks and normal shy demeanor.

He actually searched your face for any sign of rejection. "I know it's a lot to take in," he said softly, his thumb brushing against your cheek. "But I wanted to tell you, not in this way; I've got to learn to also be more careful."

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you reached up to cup his face in your hands, sinking in his words. "It’s okay, Jake," you admitted, your voice trembling with emotion. "I just… I never imagined…"

Before you could finish your sentence, Jake leaned in to capture your lips in another kiss; this one was slower than the previous one. He pulled you closer with his hands on your waist; your hands rested on the back of his head. He pulled away this time, his gaze darting to the side like he used to do to gather his thoughts.

He went to your hands, holding them in front of his lips. “I wanted to tell you for a long time; I wanted to confess before all of this… Spider-Man thing. But then things changed. I changed.”

You stayed silent, giving him space to vent just like you were used to when it was your turn to be the shoulder he needed to lean on.

“I didn’t think being Spider-Man would be this big,” he continued, running a hand through his damp hair in frustration. “At first, it was just helping people—stopping small crimes, saving a cat from a tree. But then the bad guys started noticing, and suddenly, it wasn’t just me anymore. I’m part of the Avengers, and I had enemies. People who would do anything to get to me. And I would rather go to war than to put you in danger.”

“Jake…”

“You don’t know how many times I wanted to just blurt it out, but my mind simply remembered what could happen. What if they found out about you? What if they used you to get to me? What if they…” His voice cracked mid-sentence. Was he that terrified of you?

You forced yourself to let go of Jake's grip on your hands, this time putting your palms on his face and grabbing his face firmly. “I know what this means now, and I’m still here. I’ll be right next to you.”

“Are you sure? There’s no turning back.”

You nodded, “I don’t want to turn back.”

With a smile on your lips and love in your heart, you leaned into Jake's embrace, letting the warmth of his touch chase away the chill of the night as you watched the city skyline glitter in the rain.

“I don’t deserve you.”

You reached up, placing your hand against his chest, right on top of the spider in his suit. “You deserve to be loved, Jake. Not just as Spider-Man, but as you. And I’m glad that I love both of them.”

He gave you a smile before hugging you tightly. "Please write good news about me."

"Don’t worry, Jay is in charge of your paper, Spidey." You took the discarded Spider-Man mask on the floor and looked at it up close. “Wow, ‘Stark Industries.’ Fancy.”

“Give that back.” He tried to reach it; you were quick enough to put it behind your back teasingly.

“Come get it, Spidey,” you said, a smile on your face, not counting that his hand will go behind you to pull you closer for a quick peck. The sudden kiss caught you off guard, your breath hitching as Jake pulled away with a smug grin.

“Gotcha,” he murmured, snatching the mask from your hands before stepping back, twirling it around his finger.

“Cheater.”

He chuckles. “Nah, that was strategy. Plus I wanted to kiss you again.”

─── MY BABY IS OUT AND FREE! if you read something similar to this around april or may of last year, no worries, it was my work too and this version have way more stuff added (plus it's way better)

𓄴 𝐓aglist (mostly moots!): @hheeluv @awqken @taeghi @caratstick @021894s @hees-love @heechwe @intromortal @dollyyun @wwooyology @ja3yun @veilstqr @httpenhoon @firstclassjaylee

[inbabylontheywept]

Weird Grandpa Story #2

I remember asking my mom once, if her dad had gotten ornerier as he'd gotten old. I'd heard about that happening, and it would've made sense for him. He was already the orneriest old cuss I'd ever met. Couldn't even imagine him being grumpier than he was.

Instead of answering the question directly, she told me about what it was like going to church with him as a kid. Their church was a small Mormon ward out in the sticks of Colorado, and he served as their Bishop - mostly by virtue of being the only one willing to do that much unpaid work. He was also the ward pianist. He actually liked playing piano, and he liked having an audience, so it was more or less understood that he was willing to be the bishop in exchange for being the pianist. 

Which could've been a good trade, but there were a few problems.

The first problem was that Grandpa Dale played every song at about triple speed. He was a deeply impatient person, and that extended to how he played music. The second problem was that he had a bad habit of cursing under his breath. That would've been a scandalous  enough habit for a Mormon bishop, but was made much worse (and also much funnier)  by him being pretty damn deaf. So what he thought of as "quiet" cursing under his breath was more of just a verse hoarse way of yelling. I only visited him for a week or two every summer, and I still learned most of my bad words from him. 

So every Sunday would start with a quiet prayer, and then Bishop Grandpa Dale would go to the piano, sit down, and play the nightcore version of Praise to the Man. He would occasionally play other hymns, but he really, really liked that one. This would continue until he hit a wrong note, which was basically inevitable because his music philosophy was that if he could play a song flawlessly, it was time to play it faster. So he'd play until he hit that wrong note, at which point he would scream-whisper SHIIIIIT and, because he did not actually read music so much as memorize it, the only way he'd be able to get his rhythm back was by going back to the start. 

If it was a good Sunday, he could get it in two tries. Some Sundays took as many as five. 

I learned two things about Grandpa Dale from this story. The first was that he could play piano. I'd never actually seen him do that before. Still haven't, come to think of it. Second was that the man that I visited once a year, who always seemed on the verge of exploding, who scared the absolute dickens out of me, was actually the chilled out version of the man my mom grew up with.

And it helped knowing that, actually. I'm actually a pretty anxious person, and my mom is, also, a pretty anxious person, and as a teenager we'd sometimes get in these doom loops where we'd wind each other up until our springs cracked. She'd be worried about me growing up to be happy, and I'd be worried about letting her down, and my worrying would make me unhappy, and my unhappiness would make her unhappy, and we'd just kind of dissolve into these anxieties like cotton candy in the sea and become totally unbearable to be around for a bit. Then my dad would sit us both down and very politely tell us that we were being crazy. He had this quote how being sad that someone else is sad that you're sad is the emotional equivalent of being a Klein flask and that at some point you have to just say I am allowed one (1) single layer of emotional recursion, at most, and ideally zero. 

And it was always kind of embarrassing and silly, but when I was tempted to be more upset with my mom about it, I could remember the piano story and go: Sheesh. She has more of a right to be anxious that I do. For me it's really just genetics, but she grew up with the Cactus-Killing Gopher-Smasher. A whole 18 years of that. I spent two weeks every summer with that guy, and I love him, but I always came home feeling like I'd survived something. She's a trooper.

[melminli]

ex, for a reason

summery - your boyfriend was the sweetest guy in the whole world, but maybe that was the problem.

pairing: kang dae-ho x fem. reader

word count: 1.4k

contains: modern au, angst w/ comfort, fluff

the request.

He really shouldn't worry about it as much as he did right now because the whole thing was just totally stupid, and all the stuff that had been going through his head was irrational. Dae-ho knew that and yet, he just couldn't stop himself from imagining multiple crazy scenarios in which you were breaking up with him - he didn't want any of this, why would he? The only heart that got broken in the process was his and it was all because of nothing.

Well, maybe there was this one thing, and that was that Dae-ho had been feeling a bit - well let’s just say - insecure about your relationship. He was very much aware of the fact that he had zero resemblance to the guys you usually date because he wasn't, well - he wasn't an asshole. You and even most of you’re friends make fun of it now that you two are together and it actually turned into some kind of inside joke that you broke the curse with him. Though, Dae-ho didn’t really feel like laughing about it right now.

This whole thing is so stupid, he thought to himself as he absently watched some show on the TV before he suddenly heard you laughing next to him. He just looked at you shortly and knew that it was probably because of something funny you saw on your cell phone. But, he just couldn’t restrain himself and had to remember the conversation you had a few days ago. He sighed again with a heavy heart at the memory because apparently, your last ex - some guy named Thanos? - had messaged you out of the blue and asked you what you were up to.

"Hey, look who just sent me a text. I thought I had blocked him everywhere?" you exclaimed, laughing as you shoved your cell phone in his face. Dae-ho just looked a bit confused at the message after he read it because he didn’t really get what you were talking about. He read it one more time, though, he was still kind of lost because it honestly just looked like a normal message, how was he supposed to figure out what was going on?

You then decided to reveal the whole thing since your boyfriend just continued to send you confused glances. "It's my ex. You know, I told you about him. The one I dated before we met."

Yeah, he could remember bits and pieces of that. "So, what does he want?" he asked, still not quite sure what was going on.

You sighed at his innocence. "He obviously wants to get back together.“

"Does he?" Dae-ho asked and was seriously surprised. He pointed at your phone while he talked. "But he just asked if you still had his old sweater, that could mean anything."

You waved as you laughed. "Oh, trust me. I know what that means.“ you assured him and thought back to the old days, which was something you didn’t like to do. „We were pretty much on and off in our whole relationship because I always tried to break things off after fighting - but then always take him back afterward. So, it just started to turn into a really bad cycle at some point, I guess.“ you tried to explain. „Anyway, he used to text me about some meaningless thing as soon as he wanted to get back together and this is one of those texts since he's also not the kind of person to send you a message if he doesn't want anything from you. I’m just surprised that he would try this again because I broke things up with him for real the last time, trust me.“

Oh. It felt like Dae-ho should be laughing at your ex's desperate attempt to get back together with you now, but he felt more like ugly crying, to be honest. „Yeah, that is pretty funny.“ he just decided to say with a forced smile on his face.

Since then, the whole situation just wouldn't let him go. No matter how hard he tried to. The way you told it, made it seem like you two got back together a lot and who was to say that maybe a part of you wouldn't want to try again - purely because of muscle memory? He wasn't the type to get irrationally angry over something like that, but he'd be lying if he said that all these negative thoughts didn't make him incredibly depressed the past few days.

"Hey, I know I've asked you this a few times now, but are you sure everything's okay?" you finally asked him when you noticed how he wasn't really paying attention to what was going on in his show. It was unusual for him to be so quiet when usually some comment about what was happening would leave him every minute.

He just nodded under his breath. "Yeah, yeah, everything's fine," he said, feeling guilty again for being the way he was right now.

You moved a little closer to him and hugged him lightly from the side. "You're lying and I'm tired of waiting for you to come to me on your own because, as you know, I'm not the most patient person on earth."

He avoided your gaze guiltily. "It's stupid."

"It's clearly not, because you've been acting like a depressed housewife for days."

He laughed lightly along with you at that little joke of yours. "And how is that supposed to look like?"

You smiled. "You know, you're like you always are - you make dinner, you bring me my favorite tea, but you sigh very loudly every now and then plus you're also a bit distant." you continued to broach the subject in a slightly joking manner to get rid of the heavy air around you two.

Of course, you would be aware of his bad mood. "Well, I just noticed that I'm not like the other guys you've dated before," he whispered casually while playing with the fabric of his shirt. Even though, you both knew that it seemed to be a topic that was bothering him.

You nodded. "So?" you just asked him, thinking something other would follow since you couldn’t see what the problem was. Though, there didn't seem to be anything more coming. "That's all? You’re upset because you're not like my shitty boyfriends in the past?" you repeated a bit in disbelief.

Dae-ho looked to the side, embarrassed. "I told you it was stupid..." he whispered. "I just don’t want you to think that I’m boring or something…"

You just took him in your arms and tried to suppress your laughter so as not to add salt to the wound. "I didn't mean it like that, but I'm telling you this now because you obviously to need to hear it," you said as you placed a kiss on his head. "You're not boring. You’re the sweetest boyfriend in the whole world and I would never trade you for any of my past relationships. I love you and I've never even said those words to any of my exes, did you know that?" you asked him, watching as he slowly looked up to you. "…really?" he asked you shyly, even though you had been together for a while now.

You smiled. "Really," you assured him and were glad to see your boyfriend in his normal happy state again. However, you then remembered the conversation you had a few days ago. "Was this whole thing about Thanos? You don't have to worry about him. I hate that guy, he like probably cheated on me more times than he admitted." you laughed and stopped when something else came to mind. "Besides, I think he also stole some money from me..."

Dae-ho looked at you worriedly as he held you even tighter. "Oh my god, are you serious? You never told me that, is that why you broke up with him?"

You looked away a little embarrassed yourself this time and didn't dare to confess to him that it had unfortunately taken a lot more than that for it to end between the two of you. Those weren't your proudest moments in your life. "Yeah, sure..."

But who cared about all that, right? You were the happiest you could ever be with Dae-ho and that was all that mattered. Maybe you should remind him more of that because he really didn't deserve to feel inferior to someone like that damn Thanos.

[wtfaniii]

Can you pleaseeee do a Namgyu x reader story where he’s your mean ex boyfriend that secretly still wants you 🙏

Of course! That man has something and you know it girl

From love to hate

Nam-Gyu (player 124) x reader // you

Fem reader!

Summary: You were so miserable that out of 456 people in this game you met again with the man who made your love life miserable a year ago.

Warning: Some emotional abuse, unstable relationship on both sides.

Note: I understand you girl, that boy has something that makes him attractive, I hope this is to your liking and meets your expectations!

The second game was over, the girl just wanted to calm her nerves sitting silently on her bed but she was startled a little when Thanos appeared next to one leap.

—Get lost —she said, rolling her eyes and continuing to play with his fingers.

—How pretty —he said sarcastically.

—You were nicer before —Gyu said, coming to her left side.

She sighed and got out of bed ready to move out of there, she wanted to have zero contact with him after having found in bed with her best friend.

—Fuck you

—¿You kiss with that vocabulary? —Nam-gyu hurried to stop her from escaping and stood in front of her.

—¡Move! ¡I don't want anything to do with you!

Yes, the guy was an idiot, he acted like an idiot throughout their entire relationship and he would always be an idiot.

She thought could tolerate him, she loved him enough to do it but there was a limit she wasn't going to cross, infidelity was something she was never going to get over.

Nam-gyu wasn't going to give up now that he had her so close, she was the only one who loved him just the way he was and even though he had made a mistake by getting between the legs of her slut friend he still couldn't stop thinking about her.

He took her arm with a little more force than he should have, it was inevitable, he wanted to tell her to please stay but instead he said something more hurtful.

—Stop being such a bitch and listen to me.

In his mind he wanted to regret it but the laughter deep inside Thanos made his ego as a man grow.

That was one of his many problems, the influence that third parties managed to have on him.

However, he couldn't think of anything else when he felt the girl's hand crash into his cheek, both becoming the center of attention of the other players.

—If you call me a bitch again, I'll kick you where it hurts the most —she warned him, pointing a finger at him in a threatening manner, to which Nam-gyu raised his hands in a sign of peace while backing away.

—She's a real sweetheart —Thanos said for the second time, amused and sarcastic.

—You have no idea....

[...]

It was time for the third game, the girl managed to overcome each and every one until it was time to pair up and take a cubicle before the rest.

She was alone, she thought that this time it would be the end for her.

Meanwhile Nam-gyu and Thanos had already managed to get an empty cubicle but just before closing the door 124 stopped at the entrance and looked in all directions.

—¡¿What the hell are you doing?! ¡Come in already!

But he ignored it completely, the drug in his system raised his adrenaline and clouded his judgment but the only thing he was quite clear about was that he had to make sure his damn ex-girlfriend was still alive after this.

Seeing her disoriented in the crowd, he didn't think twice and ran towards her, hearing Thanos shouting at him but he kept his eyes on the girl.

As soon as he got close to her, he took her by the shoulders and led her to a cubicle where, after having beaten the players out, he managed to close the door with her.

She was just about to thank him when Nam-gyu waved his hand at her to shut up.

—Not a word —he said, taking deep breaths.

—I was going to tell you that you are an idiot.

He gave her an annoyed look, but she was actually grateful even though she wasn't going to say it out loud.

Despite hearing the screams and gunshots through the door, the tension between them was also palpable.

They had so many things to say to each other but it was neither the time nor the place, Nam-gyu only needed to be so close to death to know that among so much shit in his life she was the only one he needed.

Their relationship had been so close and strong that all it took to end it was a one-night stand with another woman, and now he regretted it.

—I was drugged when I slept with her —he said without turning to look at her and watching through the small crack in the door as the pink soldiers collected the corpses of the eliminated players.

—That doesn't make it better —she replied without much enthusiasm.

Just by hearing her voice he knew that she had not let go of the past either, he knew her well enough to realize that the feeling of wanting to return was mutual.

But neither of them took the step that was required.

Once the doors opened, they both silently left there, Nam-gyu was the first to go towards Thanos who looked at him with his eyes half closed.

[...]

During the voting, the players looked at each other with hatred and other mixed emotions, Nam-gyu's gaze remained on the girl who was on the side of those who had chosen the tag, it was curious how now he too was questioning whether he should choose the circle again or this time make the decision to end the games.

—¡Press the circle! —Thanos shouted euphorically, bringing him out of his thoughts.

Min-su was slightly startled by the sudden shout, "Pathetic" Nam-gyu thought but he also felt somewhat pressured to make a decision.

After Thanos went to vote, he approached the poor trembling boy and spoke into his ear.

—If you don't press the circle you will be left alone without anyone to defend you.

It seems that this was enough to keep the 125 votes in his favor, with that they would win and continue participating, but when it was his turn his hand deviated towards the huge check mark.

He clearly heard Thanos' frustrated groan.

He took the red badge that the guard gave him and stood next to those his companion so hated.

—I honestly thought you would vote to keep playing —the girl murmured, standing next to him —¿What made you change your mind?

—Shut the fuck up —he mumbled angrily.

She still smiled softly at him and took his hand, a simple but meaningful sign that she was still by him side. Just as she had promised him since they met

The votes ended in a tie and now Nam-gyu had to continue playing and tolerating the irritable Thanos, he did not consider him his friend but his partner, he only hoped that this decision making would not influence their bond of trust too much.

Unfortunately, that was not the case and the tension between both sides of players increased with every second in the men's room.

—I'm not mad at you —230 said, approaching him while splashing some cold water on his face —I would also bend over backwards for a hottie like her.

He wanted to avoid fights but 333 butted into his conversation.

—Stop bothering others, you must understand that not all of us want to die in here.

Thanos laughed amused. —Oh look! The two lovebirds want to get out of here just because their girlfriends asked them to!

—I think we've collected enough money —Nam-gyu interrupted with a stern expression and a defensive posture. —Friend, we can still get out of here.

Maybe if 230 hadn't been under the influence of drugs he would have listened to him and they would have had a formal conversation where everyone would have come out a winner.

But that wasn't the case, instead he blurted out the following words.

—¿Why don't I just let you two die in the next game? You two can relax, I'll take care of your girlfriends so they won't be alone, if you know what i mean...

He barely finished the sentence with an arrogant smile when 333 threw a punch that Thanos managed to dodge.

He was going to make fun of it if it hadn't been for Nam-gyu punching him in the face, leaving him stunned and unleashing a fight between the Circle team and the X team.

Nam-gyu may have been a jerk to her, but she was still his girl and even if he had to kill other contestants, he would make sure they both came out alive and with a good amount of money.

Yeah... he did love her.

[taylor-will-be-the-death-of-me]

The Start

Summary: Pairing you and Bucky together on a mission is probably the worst idea Steve or Sam ever had, but it's the only way to get what they want.

》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》

"No."

"Absolutely not."

"I would rather die than work with him."

"And I'd rather kill myself then work with her."

Steve rubbed his eyes as Sam messaged his temple. They knew from the start that this was a bad idea, but they thought they could make it work. Little did they know, this was going to be the most horrible idea they had ever had.

You and Bucky hated each other. Since the moment you met it had been nothing but loathsome jabs and sarcastic insults. You two couldn't stand each other, even just being in the same room would almost cause world war 3 to break out, so what Steve and Sam were asking you to do, was completely incomprehensible.

"This isn't up for debate." Steve said, looking up at the two of you from his seat at the head of the conference table. "You two will go on a mission together and that's final. We've finally made a breakthrough and I'm not going to let the two of you ruin it."

"Then put someone else on it." Bucky mumbled and crossed his arms, leaning further back in his chair.

"You're my best agents, I only trust you two with this mission."

"Flattery will get you no where Steve." You said, sighing. "Besides, I don't really have a problem with doing the mission, it's our covers that I have a problem with."

"I told you this would happen." Sam scoffed from the side, as Steve gave him the 'not now' look in return.

This conference was supposed to be a thirty minute meeting briefing you and Bucky about the mission and your cover identities, but it had been almost two hours and zero progress was made. And everytime the two captain's thought any progress was made, either you or Bucky would say something to each other, causing a fight to break out, taking you back to step one.

"Why can't Nat do it?" You questioned, testing the star strangled man's patience.

"She's off on another mission with Barton." Samn replied in the blonde's place.

"Well then why don't either one of you come with me?" You pressed further.

"We're public figures, it's gonna cause a problem." Sam answered once again, patience hanging from a thread.

"I'm not that bad of a partner you know sweetheart." Bucky chimed in. He loved riling you up, seeing you get so annoyed at him, it was probably his favorite thing to witness in the world. Next only to seeing you red with anger that he was the source of.

"Is that so?" You rebutted. "I'm sure the agent with a broken arm would beg to differ."

"It was his fault, I told him to stay back, but he just wouldn't listen. You, on the other hand will be fine, as long as you listen to me." Bucky replied.

"Who died and made you king?" You huffed and sat up straight, eyebrows furrowed, lips turned into a scowl, wanting to do nothing but to break Bucky's face.

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Spell it put for me Barnes."

"I'm more experienced than you, it only makes sense that I take the lead." Bucky answered, leaning further back with his arms still folded, a cocky expression taking over his face.

"I'd have more experience too if I was born the the 1800s grandpa." You quipped, making Sam snort out a laugh, watching the second unfold with amusement. Before either one of you could take things any further, Steve interrupted.

"Look, this mission is going to happen, weather you like it or not. It's not everyday we discover a hydra trafficking ring and it's definitely not everyday we find ways to infiltrate it. So suck it up and do the mission."

"But-" Bucky started but was instantly cut off by a frustrated Steve.

"That's an order." He slammed his hands on the table and stood up, pushing his chair back. "I'm sick of your crap, Sam's gonna brief you further."

He walked out of the room, shaking his head and sighing out loud. You crossed your arms, sitting in the same stance as Bucky as Sam whistled under his breath.

"Never thought I'd see him break, but here we are. Congratulations, you've just accomplished the impossible." He pulled the chair Steve was sitting on closer and sat down to start briefing the two of you.

"After months of tracking we have finally found out the location of where the hydra's biggest business deal will go down. To be honest, I expected it to be some warehouse in a remote location, but turns out it's in Paris. There's going to be a big party where all the party headliners are going to get together and sign off on about a hundred people's life. Your job is to go to the party as Mr. and Mrs. Smith, get cozy with the folks and then take them out, simple as that."

"Yeah, one more thing." You started, leaning forward with your elbows on the conference table. "Aren't they going to recognize him? I mean" You trailed off, but it was quiet clear what you were insinuating. No one was going to believe that the Winter Soilder was married let alone some Mr. Smith.

There was an immediate shift in Bucky, his shoulders tensed, his jaw clenched further, if it was even possible and he let out and audible scoff.

"That's taken care of as well." Sam replied, noticing the shift instantly. "The people there never mixed with Bucky's side of Hydra. They're all just rich Russian businessmen Hydra kept around for money. They know nothing about anything that goes on."

"Don't worry doll, I'm not going to put you in any danger." Bucky finally spoke up, voice gruff, eyes shifting towards you with his arms still folded. "You've got nothing to be scared about."

"I'm not scared shithead." You scoffed, rolling your eyes. "The only thing I'm worried about is you going all robocop leading to me handle everything myself."

"Oh please." It was Bucky's turn to roll his eyes now. "As if you're all perfect."

"Shove it where the sun don't shine Barnes."

"You know what-"

"Okay enough." Sam butted in, finally having had enough. "You two can rip each others head out on your own time, but right now I need you both to listen the fuck up. Two weeks, that's all we're asking of you. Keep your differences aside for two god forsaken weeks and get through this alive. You'll never have to see each others faces after the okay?"

"Fine." Your grumbled, leaning into your chair with arms folded, exasperation evident on your face.

"Whatever." Bucky mumbled, mimicking your stace. You two might have to act civil towards each other for the next two weeks, but that dosen't mean you had to now.

"Bitch." Bucky said under his breath but loud enough for you to hear, knowing it'll get a rise out of you. For Sam's sake you would have left it alone, but you weren't going to let him have the last word.

"Dickhead."