#like even as an older teen when i myself ided as trans i would often misgender other trans people accidentally

[moodr1ng]

now and again i remember the first time i knowingly met another trans person.. i was a preteen at summer camp, and on the first day we were all sitting around and one of the camp counselors said something about how theres x number of boys and girls, and i was like "no, theres (one more) boys" and pointed out each of the boys. i was then told one of the people id picked out was actually a girl, and i was terribly embarrassed but he just laughed and said it was ok. he was presenting in a very masculine way both in style and behavior and i kept "messing up" and gendering him as a boy and then profusely apologizing, and hed just say "its fine, i actually prefer that". eventually one night he told me and a few other kids that he wanted to be a boy and he was gonna get surgery for it one day. then i just kept on gendering him as a boy. he never used the word transgender or really got into the details of it so it didnt really click to me that this was a thing you could do (that i could do?) and it wouldnt really until i later stumbled onto transgender blogs and articles online, but looking back now its a sweet memory. i hope it made that kid really happy that i couldnt help but gender him properly multiple times before he ever actually clarified his identity lol

[elonmuscovy]

Cw: body dysphoria, trans/homophobia, brief fatphobia mention, long post.

I've come out to a handful of irl people as trans this week. I still have a smorgasbord of feelings on the matter, though. As such it has been on my mind a lot. As much as I'd like to be a Real Guy, I can't totally divorce myself from my biology with a clear conscience. I don't want to go under the knife unless medically necessary.

In my younger years, I had bad bouts of dysphoria. I was often mad or at least disappointed that I couldn't be a guy. Of course a lot of it I believe was fueled by what I was constantly told people should be like according to their equipment. I remember as a kid, wanting to ID as a guy and my family was very adamant about me not doing that. My aunt would get upset and say "I don't let boys spend the night with me".

Even when I was in kindergarten, I asked an older first grade boy to teach me how to be a boy. (I vaguely even remember him trying to teach me a "boy's" version of hopscotch.) Our Sunday school classes at church were even separated by gender for a time and I was thrilled when a chance came up for us combine.

My desire to "belong" with males has been an ongoing theme in my life, even if it's been subtle. I've always been drawn to guys moreso than females (and the few I was strongly drawn to usually turned out to be queer, too). This was really awkward when all the boys seemed to be in that "ew girls have cooties" stage. That on top of being neurodivergent, I ended up being the class weirdo more often than not. (On a side note, in a couple psychological evaluations and they outright told me that I seem to think more like a male or something to that effect. I forgot the exact details and context but that definitely stood out to me.)

This kinda thing carried on into my teen years on and off. Then there was the onset of puberty... and PCOS. I started losing my hair when I was 16. They diagnosed me with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. This was causing my hormones to go all wacky. My body was producing a lot testosterone. I also had other issues that came with this. Gained a lot of weight (which I was frequently tormented for at home. My eating habits were scrutinized further making me miserable.) My cycles were irregular. My voice was also changing.

That made things a little awkward when I joined choir in high school cus I love singing. And yes, I took full advantage of my deepening voice to sing in the tenor section with the guys. It was a validating experience. The director still really wanted me to work on my "girl" voice but it felt so awkward and forced. She backed off when I printed out an article about my disorder and highlighted the parts about voice change and irregular hormones.

In all this time, I never gave serious thought to being a guy. Oh, I thought about it, but I didn't feel like I would ever be in a position to actually do anything about it. It wouldn't have been received well at all at home. My entire family (save for a few people) is quite vocal about their homophobia. I was there for a while too, though.

But one thing that I realized more as I got older that sorta helped me cope, is that no matter what kinda equipment I have, I can still be myself. Ones identity shouldn't be so deeply rooted in gender. This especially held true when I gradually gained more sense of control over my identity as an adult. I get "Chris" on my name tags. I haven't worn a dress since 2011. I finally mustered the courage to get my hair cut short in 2018. I also realized that a big part of what exasperated my dysphoria was also me internalizing people's shitty ideas about gender.

I've come to terms with the fact I'll never quite be the guy I'd like to have been. I have a functioning body and as I mentioned before, I don't want to undergo any surgeries unless medically necessary.

I have learned more about gender and I feel that non-binary and transmasculine are good descriptors for me. (As such, I also id as gay or mlm). In a way, I wish I could simply tick "male" but like I mentioned before, I can't completely separate myself from my biology. I can't speak for anyone else but for me, that is a big factor. My body is still very female presenting. I'm very short and I have large hips/thighs that give me away. (Wish I could wear men's pants comfortably but alas...). I fully intend on getting a binder too. I wish I had been built more like a truck than a clown car.

But at the end of the day, I'm me and gender is (and really should be considered) just one of many attributes one possesses. That's why I don't want to be picky about pronouns. Sure, it feels kinda nice to be called something other than "she" but at the same time, I don't think it should really be a huge deal to me.

[jaimistoryteller]

OC/Author PrideFest Question Mess Part 3

Thanks for the tag @raevenlywrites​​ ! Ended up sleeping longer than expected, here’s the last part of the set of questions.

Rules I am going with: answer the questions you know or are comfortable sharing, tag others, add a question if you feel like something is missing.

Note: I will be answering in three different posts, one per section, rather than all together because of how many questions there are.

Questions for you:

Introduce yourself! Tell us a little bit about you and what you write

Why do you write LGBT+ characters?

Have you always written LGBT+ characters? If no, what inspired you to start? Is it a deliberate representational choice?

Do you use modern labels in your work? Why or why not?

World builders: do you have any neat societal twists? (unique names for IDs, different marriage practices, etc.)

Do you write outside your own experiences? (cis writing trans, wlw writing mlm, etc.) If yes, how confident do you feel about it?

Tell us about a favorite book/character someone else wrote that inspired you (or just plain gave you a warm and fuzzy)

Any advice for someone else writing LGBT+ characters?

Would you like people to ask you more questions when this is over?

Free space! Wax poetic about something near and dear to your heart.

Questions for your Ocs (in character or out, dealer’s choice):

Say hi! Let us get to know you, you big beautiful person, you!

How do you feel about the world your author has created for you?

Are you out? To whom, why or why not, etc?

Tell us a little about your journey. Have you always IDed the way you do now? Are there parts of you you’re still figuring out?

Do you feel settled in your ID, or do you think it might change as you and your author go on?

Did your author always know you were [blank], or did you have to tell them? If yes, oh please, please tell us how! :3

Is being [blank] particularly hard in your world? How does your society treat you differently than ours might?

Tell us a little about your unique experiences with your ID. Do you experience dysphoria? Is it impossible to find a date? Just want to find that special someone for snuggles but everyone expects sex? Unload for a minute, it’s okay to struggle sometimes.

What’s the best part about being [blank] in your world?

Do you like getting fan-mail? Would you like people to ask you more questions when this is over?

Grab that mic! Drop some truth on us, something you’ve just been dying to share! Shout out to your besties!

Questions for either you or your OCs:

Going to answer these like I would a Q&A post, with the first three characters that comes to mind for each question.

What’s your orientation and gender? Wave that flag!!!

Tichina - female and pan. I’m proud of both. While I have not yet met my soulmates, I have had a variety of partners over the year that covers the spectrum of genders and sexualities. 

Quin - agender and queer. I am much more comfortable with my gender then I am my orientation. 

Stepan - male, demisexual, pan or poly romantic, never quite sure which is a better fit. I’m good with my alignments and try to always be respectful of other peoples. If my patient has one I am unfamiliar with, then I make sure to do research so I can help my patient to the best of my abilities. 

When did you realize you were LGBT+?

Jon - as a preteen. The others on the gymnastics team were talking about how cute people were and I didn’t see it.

Isa - in my mid-twenties. I’m older than I look.

Nazreen - after meeting my soulmates in my mid-twenties, prior to that I just thought there was something wrong with me.

What makes your heart melt?

Nazreen - not technically related to my orientation, but seeing Akaal with the children, particularly the smaller ones. He’s so big and yet I know he’s never going to harm them. 

Sitara *chuckles* Nazreen beat me to that one, *thoughtful look* I’m going with the way acceptance is the norm and not the unusual within the Balakhnov Building.

Tichina - any time I am able to get one of my high risk kids off the street, bonus points for the ones who find themselves and do so proudly. 

Do you have a favorite LGBT+ song? Movie? Book? Artist? (comic?)

Marie - too many books to list them all, the beauty of being an editor. I’ve always enjoyed All the Things She Said by t.A.T.u

Ioanna - Father would have been horrified if still alive to know I play games like Saints Row 2. I think that Gat, Aisha, and the main character are a triad. Since the main character can be anything the player ones, I take them to be genderfluid, so no matter how the relationship unfolds it’s bi

Sparks - Wonder Woman, Superman, and Batman. You know she keeps them in line and makes Bruce stop brooding so damned much. 

Do you have a secret crush outside of your own work? Some wild crossover OTP?

Aither - I spent my teenage years shipping myself with Buffy and Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and there was that one time I wondered what it would be like to be an Aither sandwich with Squall and Seifer from FFVIII. . Of course, as an adult I have also shipped myself with Sam and Gabriel from Supernatural. 

Aaron *tries not to fidget* Q from the Craig!Bond movies is quiet adorable and I wouldn’t mind a good snuggle with him. 

Diego - I don’t know if I’d like anything more than friendship, but I’d love to get to know Stiles and Lydia from Teen Wolf. Maybe Even Scott if he could get his head out of his rump long enough to actually act like the friend he’s supposed to be. 

Tell us about your LGTB+ headcannons (I’d really love to see someone’s character answer this)

Karl - I always thought that William and Geoffrey from A Knight’s Tale were boyfriends. When Jocelyn joins them, they form a proper triad. 

Isaak - no one can convince me that Bones, Spock and Jim weren’t a space-husband triad!

Vara - I’d like to think that Nathan, Audrey, and Duke in Haven are a triad. Most of Nathan and Duke’s conflict coming from the fact neither of them wants to admit it for whatever silly reason.

What’s your favorite thing about being LGBT+?

Vasilia - I’m myself and able to accept that I am myself, rather than trying to be someone I am not because I hadn’t accepted being transgender.

Isa - there is a community of people like me.

Keywon - pride in my friends and community. 

Is there a cool place you like to hang out with your squad? Maybe an LGBT+ meet up?

Keywon - well, our team hangs out at the basketball court a lot, we also spend time in the community center where we are able to get help with any school work we need. We’re encouraged to bring others our age or orientation to hang out and what not. 

Quin - before meeting Aither, I spent a lot of my time at the queer book store, I didn’t really have a squad, but at least it was somewhere safe for me in public. Not that I like being in public too often. 

Molon - while I do spend a lot of time at the community center and at the basketball court, I also spend a lot of time at the nomyn san (Mongolian Library) where a lot of people of a similar descent hang out to share culture.

What are some things you do to keep positive?

Tichina - I help those in my community and the communities around mine. Every time I do so, I know I am helping someone else avoid the hardships that I and others before me went through. They’ll have a chance at a better life. 

Tzvia - prayer and regular worship, I am active in the both my faith and sports. 

Isaak - studying helps me keep positive because it means I can reach for the stars (literally)

Do you have any advice for young LGBT+ people?

Jon - you’re not broken, wrong, or otherwise odd. No matter what some people might claim, they’re idiots. 

Aither - own whatever space you are in, most won’t know how to take it.

Jamie - be yourself, it might require leaving what you know, but in the long run it’ll be far better for you. 

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Isaak - hopefully on the moon, it’s going to take a lot of hard work and study, but my Uncle and Aunt are making it possible so I’m not letting them or myself down.

Falco - retiring, I hope. I sometimes feel far too old for position within the Network that I hold. 

Ioanna - I happier and healthier me, preferably. 

Welp, that took way longer than planned because of a host of reasons. Still, have some more information on my massive world.

Tagging some peeps I am getting to know off the writer peeps spreadsheet so they can see my answers or do them as they feel fit.

@authordai @forlornraven @lagamerita @writing-at-dusk and @wordsbysarah

 Part 1 and  Part 2