#like either the ship was having some kind of insane malfunction or the captain is the biggest idiot alive. hoooooly shit

[bumblingest-bee]

im sorry how does a container ship not see a giant fucking bridge in baltimore harbor????

[codecicle]

Ok so. Chip star wars au backstory. Basically, what I'm thinking is that the story is pretty much the same, with some obvious adjustments.

Chip grows up on board the Midnight Rose (a space ship this time, not an ocean one lol). It's the early years of the Empire, and the Black Rose pirates are both pirates and kind of an early rebel cell? sorta? They're still pretty powerful, like in the riptide canon, as the Empire is still kind of getting its shit together. And when I say they're *sort of* rebels what i mean is that, while they do actively dislike the Empire, they're not fighting them directly so much as they're being a general nuisance for them and stealing their shit and disrupting their plans.

As for the hole in the sea...well, I have two ideas for that would be.

Number one is that it's, like, a weird Force thing, which there are A Lot of in Star Wars. It's sort of like that weird fucking cube-planet-thing they get stranded on in The Clone Wars for that one arc with the Father the Daughter the Son--it's that sort of batshit fucking star wars thing, and it basically, like...sucks them in and the events of the Hole in the Sea oneshot play out pretty much the same way. This one I like because it has the wackass magical element to it and could thus account for the wackass Chip Lore that we're currently being insane about in the hiatus.

(The aforementioned Wackass Chip Lore does throw a bit of a wrench into the AU, since we don't know anything for certain about it, so when Riptide starts back again and we find out more this part of the au could be pretty much derailed, but adjustments can always be made and the sw lore is crazy enough that I'll probably be able to figure something out).

Second option is that the "Hole in the Sea" is a weapon of sorts--something the Empire is maybe working on in secret, something that they maybe found that was like, the ruins of an ancient space-civilization with super weird, cool technology yknow? And the black rose pirates end up there somehow (one idea is that it's like a gravity well, like they had in Rebels I think??? It might have been tcw i can't remember. Something that can pluck ships out of hyperspace like it's nothing). It could also be a combination of these two options--maybe it's some weird space magic thing the Empire was studying but then some Weird Magical Bullshit happened and drove them all out, but the Magic was like, awake, or something, idk I'm tired and that's all I have for now. This ask was not originally this long LMAO

Oh my fucking god I understand I get it. What if the hole in the sea was the Empire experimenting with the dark side of the force to build the superweapon that can just. Yoink a fuckin ship out of hyperspace and send them to some form of a rebel prison, but it ended up malfunctioning because the original designs were ones they stole from that ancient space-civilization you mentioned were made with the light side of the force/jedi use in mind. it ends up creating a sort of whackass void/black hole of the force in this pit deeeep deep into outer space and just like the Allport blockade, the Empire ends up telling any ships that try to leave the docks not to go there. the only people that can go anywhere near it are the ones that live on the nearby planets (like the underground towns and crew the albatrio found while in the black sea when chip got his heart ripped out), the Empire visiting bases (like the navy base from 114), or any rebel trader that's either stupid enough or skilled enough to disobey the Empire and make it all the way there and back alive. Since Captain Rose was one of the pirate lords, maybe it was an intentional and direct attack that just ended up backfiring and left them with no other option than to quarantine that set of planets and hope nothing else happened and no-one survived (they literally all did LMAOO)

[aboyandhisstarship]

SICON verse: ask SICON hour/APEX 99

The camera cut in as Kvella said “welcome to today’s ask SICON hour, today’s question is from Feqesh of the planet Tophet who asked, How do humans get into combat zones?”

The camera drone buzzed by as Kvella explained “the humans have 4 major methods of entering a combat zone.”

Footage of her capsule drop was cut in as she explained “the first and most famous is there orbital insertion into hostile territory, special capsulizes are fired from their ships that descend rapidly shedding outer layers in order to confuse enemy defense systems.”

The footage changed back to the alien reporter who said “the next is the calmest method; it is a simple drop ship landing into friendly or friendly controlled territory, in the same vain is the Tac Drop.”

It cut to a Human in his office the title card reading “Lieutenant William Ericson, SICON Federal Forces”

The Human explained “Tac, or tactical insertions are preformed when part of a planet is claimed or if we cannot for whatever reason insert from Orbit, the drop ship will rise to an altitude of about 150-200 meters,” the subtitles informed “about 80 council standard height units.”

Ericson scratched his head “every drop ship is equipped with what we call mole holes, small hatches that can be opened by the pilot, you sure you want to hear about this stuff it is very boring?” the Human asked Kvella.

Kvella answered from behind the camera “you promised to answer the publics questions LT,” Using the human’s nickname.

The human sighed “when we get to the drop point the Mole Holes open and we jump and fall out of the vessel”

Kvella stared as the human finished “our drop jets will kick in allowing us to land safely.”

Kvella nodded keeping her composer “and the 4th method?”

The human sighed “this one is rare but occasionally for one reason or another we need to insert into an environment where special transport is needed, such as an ocean.”

Kvella nodded “go on…”

The Human shifted “so the drop ship is loaded with the right transport, and dropped with personal for about 50 meters at high speeds….”  

Kvella yelled “are you Humans insane!? How did any of you survive long enough to see the…” the camera went black.

It cut back in the Kvella saying “thank you so much, Feqesh from Tophet for your question on this Ask SICON hour.” An alarm blared in the background as the camera went black again.

Dagger squad Quarters:

T’Mai glared as Futuba looked at the piece of paper in front of them with equal intensity, Depoint glanced up from her book asking “what are you two stuck on?”

Futuba glared “I swear 46 down was built to destroy me!” she accused the cross word.

Francis stopped playing with his paddleball a gag gift from the squad as he asked “what is the clue?”

T’Mai read “Rome’s most famous aqueduct….. Five letters”

Ericson entered saying “Gear up we got a job.”  

Francis yelled “officer on deck!”

Everyone snapped up as the human shook his head “as you were, briefing in an hour… also the Tiber River.”

Everyone relaxed and Futuba gasped “it fits!”

Briefing room:

The council official shifted as the squad entered, he let out a sigh of relief upon seeing two non-humans among their ranks.

Ericson saluted Captain Hernandez saying “Dagger squad reporting as ordered, Sir!”

Hernandez nodded “as you were dagger, this is Major Kieta of the council intelligence service.”

Ericson nodded at him “Sir, what can Dagger do for you?”

Kieta answered “we recently lost contact with the planet Nandry 4…18 Terran hours ago they said they were suffering the start of a plague…possibly Bug related, you vessel is the closest ship with the proper personal, you are to evaluate the danger to planet and the council as a whole and decide the proper course of action.”

Ericson frowned “course of action sir?”

Hernandez answered “depending on your we either send for a council medical team…or make the planet glow.”

Kvella asked T’Mai “make the planet glow?”

T’Mai answered “the humans mean bomb the planet.”

Ericson nodded “yes Sir’s…Depoint this is your show, I want a list of everything you need prepped and ready by the time we get into orbit!”

Depoint nodded “on it LT!”

Hernandez said “dismissed!”

  Dropship:

The pilot frowned “lieutenant…”

Ericson got up moving to the cockpit asking “what is it pilot?”

The man said “I’m not picking anything up, no emissions ,no thermals…nothing on motion tracking…”

Ericson said “Intel says this plague started 18 hours ago…is the equipment malfunctioning?”

The pilot answered “no way to know sir…”

Ericson turned on his radio saying “this is Dagger 0-1 we can’t detect any signs of life on the planet, requesting an orbital scan.”

The voice returned “roger that Dagger 0-1 beginning orbital Scan….Dagger 0-1 reading are confirmed there is no detectable signs of life on the planet.”

Ericson turned to the pilot “forget the meet up coordinates find us ground zero and prep a tac drop.”

The pilot nodded “roger sir” pulling up and increasing speed as the ships interior lights changed from blue to red.  

Ericson walked into the cabin calling out “Tac drop, let’s move!”

The team got out of the seats and headed for the mole holes, T’Mai asked “what’s the issue LT?”

Ericson shook his head “unknown but we are getting ready for the worst…helmets on assume airborne!”

The squad chanted “sir yes sir!”

The pilot called “thirty seconds!” the mole holes opened and the squad jumped through them falling into a deserted city.

Kvella deployed her drone midair to get a wide shot of the silent city, the squad landed and Francis pulled out his gun saying “well if they are people around they should have seen that…”

Futuba pulled down her helmets visor saying “power grid is still online…this city seems to be in perfect working order…”

Ericson looked around the empty square “but everyone is gone…it’s like the east wind swept through here.”

Depoint said “sir they were not kidding about some kind of disease…it is everywhere effecting everything.”

Kvella brought the drone in asking “the east wind?”

Francis sighed “drone off in combat zones tourist…but it is an old earth legend a force that would sweep away children that misbehave in their sleep never to be heard from again…it’s unstoppable, undetectable.”

T’Mai looked around asking “and this is a story you tell your children.”

Depoint held up as scanner “a lot of earth legends are like that…perk of growing up on a death world…I think I got something LT.”

Ericson asked “what you got Doc?”

Depoint frowned “undeterminable biomass…”

Francis asked “alive…a survivor?”

Depoint shook her head “no detectable life signs”

Ericson said “but maybe some answers, let’s check it out…Futuba ideas as to why we could not pick it up in the ship?”

Futuba shrugged “our scanners are designed to pick up communities or community sized things if it is small enough and in the right place our systems may not have been sensitive enough to pick it up…”

T’Mai said “and if we couldn’t maybe some else could not either…?”

Ericson nodded “an entire planet population doesn’t just disappear…Depoint lead the way.”

Dagger squad advanced through the deserted town before stopping before a tunnel entrance vaguely similar to a subway entrance. Francis muttered “its defendable LT…”

Futuba cut in “correction was defended…I’m picking up makeshift barricades and other obstacles…”

Ericson squatted looking into the dark tunnel “so something was happening and someone clearly didn’t agree with it…alright combat wedge nice and careful.”  

The team went underground there suits lights turning on with a click. They tore down the barricades and saw a dead local…the creature was small roughly similar to a beaver of earth. It’s eyes had a green foam around them.

Ericson held the squad back saying “Futuba…any booby traps?”

Futuba scanned the room before answering “no explosives, no chemical agents,  no known weapons of any kind.”

Ericson nodded “your show Doc.”

Depoint nodded carefully scanning the body saying “this one was killed by a plague alright…but our scanner is kicking back the hallmarks of a chemical weapon.”

T’Mai blinked “what?”

Francis frowned “bugs don’t use chemical weapons…or anything artificial.”

Depoint nodded “yep and I’m also picking up another oddity…a trademark.”

Ericson frowned “a trademark?! Bugs don’t have businesses”

Kvella pointed out as her drone buzzed by “so it wasn’t the bugs…”

The room went quiet as implication set in; Futuba said “council ships have similar scanning capabilities to our own.”

Depoint sighed “this creature expired close to 64 days ago.”

T’Mai said “why would the council test chemical weapons on its own people and then send a ship to investigate”

Ericson sighed “it’s a cover up….Kvella send your drone out get footage of everything.” Kvella nodded her drone sailing out of the tunnel.

Francis asked “what are you thinking LT?”

Ericson sighed “I’m thinking the council doesn’t have the stomach for this war…so they hired a company to develop a chemical weapon that will wipe out the bugs… the needed a testing ground and chose this city because it was secluded and the locals could contain it easily…then it got out and whipped out the entire planet…so our corp friends got scared, destroyed the bodies from orbit missing our friend here and then contacting the council…they sent us figuring we would write it off as an odd cosmic anomaly and that would be that.”

The squad stayed silent they knew the LT had most likely hit the nail on the head, Depoint cleared her throat “I have identified the Copyright LT…”

Ericson sighed “tag the remains as a bio hazard and get the ship down here.”

 Watson:

As soon as the squad got back aboard they went through quarantine procedures, then Ericson met Hernández and they disappeared into the communication center as the squad returned to their quarters.  

Com Center:

Hernández sighed “Will I’m sorry…”

Ericson asked “I know that tone what is it Hailey?”

Hernández sighed “that council intel guy aboard caught wind of what we found and put in a call to on high… the council stepped in and have classified this entire thing, cancelled the investigation ordered the footage destroyed and the silence of all involved…”

Ericson yelled “they are just covering it up!? What about SICON?”

Hernández sighed “command is as appalled as we are but this didn’t affect any humans and as such the council is blocking all attempts to make these experiments public.”

Ericson sighed “you’re joking…”

Hernández sighed “it gets worse…” and she pulled up a propaganda piece that is now broadcasting throughout council space.

It showed footage of the bugs doing strange things while a voice narrates “these creatures have been attacking innocent civilians for far too long!”

Footage of the Sorak 9 airstrike was shown as the narrator continued “and while the brave forces of the council try to repel these horrible invaders it has been an uphill battle!”

It cut to a laboratory looking building filled with a Varity of council’s species as Narrator kept going “but thanks to new invention’s by Vesta Corp soon the war will come to a safe end! Introducing Apex 99!”

It showed stock footage of old timey humans as they continue “our friends in the strategically integrated collation of Nations developed a weapon a long time ago they Called Anthrax! This powerful chemical was not very useful however until Vesta Corp got involved and using it as a basis managed to develop the bug killing weapon that will save the galaxy! Good work team!” it showed footage of a scientist getting a result on a computer screen and cheering.

Before the footage ended and a card came up saying “want to defend the galaxy?! Join your council member armed forces today!”

 The piece ended and Ericson asked “so they commit war crimes and probable genocide and get a boatload of cash and the love form the public!?”

Hernández nodded “there stock price has already tripled.”

Ericson paused asking “wait…how exactly did this war start?”

Hernández answered “the bug invaded Sorak 9…remember?”

Ericson nodded “yes but why did they invade?”

Hernández blinked “I don’t know…we just went to Defcon 1 and the council told us the bugs declared war…”

Ericson sighed “maybe this whole thing is rubbing me the wrong way…but something is up…I can feel it.”

Hernandez nodded “yea I feel it to.”

  Editing room:

Kvella smiled at the camera trying to forget her boss telling her to delete the footage of that planet and never talk about it again as she said “welcome to this week’s ask SICON hour! This week’s question is from L’Bec of the Kalber….”

Dagger squad quarters:

The squad sat aimlessly trying not to think about the entire planet that was wiped out, Futuba sighed shifting from side to side as she half-heartedly tried to finish the cross word with T’Mai who himself was barely hiding his disgust with the council .

Depoint had a medical book in her hand but had been reading the same page for the last 3 hours her mind wondering back to devastation planet side.

Francis sat on his bunk staring into space as he thought about all those people…after a few minutes Futuba spook up quietly “we are good guys…right?”

The squad stayed quiet not having an answer.

do you think the council is evil!? why do you think the bug started? are our heroes on the right side?  let me know what you think! :D 

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Sailor.”

Decided to take a break from the main story-line. I want to go back to working with krill for a while, allowing him to experience different kinds of people and situations, so if you have any ideas, I am open, though weather or not I will get to them is another matter entirely. 

Te chopper blades whirled overhead so deafeningly loud that Krill couldn’t hear himself think. Leave it up to the humans to create a piece of technology that got them into the air by attaching a giant fan to the top of it, or giant spinning blades of death. It actually offended him that they didn’t use some kind of hover-craft, which he was sure they had. However, Commander Vir had said that the Navy didn’t have a whole lot of “funding” anymore so their technology tended to be older than dirt.

Krill didn’t think anything would be older than dirt, but stopped short of correcting the human when he realized it was probably just some sort of saying. But now, here he was trapped inside this loud, metal container, feeling the wind buffet them back and forth as Commander Vir adjusted the pedals.

Krill had no idea that the Commander could even fly a helicopter, be here it was. 

The guy could probably fly a cardboard box if it had a big enough engine.

Beside him sat the Navy pilot surprisingly eager to learn from the more experienced man, and the two kept a light string of conversation over the headsets. The second guy was on lend from the Naval office as an assistant of sorts. The commander seemed confused, but apparently it was common for higher ranking officers to have subordinates to lick their boots and hand them things.

Commander vir hadn’t gotten that memo.

The original pilot pointed out the front and the helicopter tilted just slightly.

Krill lifted up a bit to look out the front window, but was mostly blinded by sunlight as it reflected off water.

Commander Vir flew the helicopter in low aiming for the helicopter pad on the back end of the ship.

He managed to maintain a hover just above  the circle surprised when, “It’s moving!”

“Yes sir, we are on water.”

“Its not supposed to be moving.” he said to himself trying to determine the best way to let down.

“Just get her in close commander than drop her when she comes back up.” The pilot instructed, pleased that they could teach something to a superior officer, though the way the man talked it was hard to remember all those fancy ribbons on his dress grey.

He was a pretty good listener too, and didn’t back down from a fight, lowering himself towards the deck and then timing it just so it placed when the ship swung back up.

It was a minute movement, but still could have thrown anyone off.

As soon as they touched down and the commander cut the engines, Krill could feel the light rocking.

He, and the others stepped out onto deck. 

Krill stopped in his tracks eyes staring out at a scene he had only seen through the small windows of the ship. A vast and unending horizon of water on all sides. Tiny white capped waves rolled up and down as the massive steel ship bobbed below him. He turned in a wide circle, staring off at the vast horizons and stretches of water so wide.

They were the only ones here, nothing else in sight.

He grew a bit dizzy.

“Good morning Commander.”

Krill turned to watch as the ships XO (executive officer walked forward to greet the man with a firm handshake. He was surprised at the youth of the commander, he was older than a good portion of his men, but younger than a lot fo them too. The Captain was in his early forties, this man almost young enough to  be his son.

“A pleasure captain.” At his back the Lieutenant stood stiffly waiting to be used for some reason or another.

“I heard you were coming, to what do we owe the pleasure.”

Commander Vir glanced out at the sloshing waves with some unease, “I wanted to come down to observe the operation of your ship, Captain. I am afraid to say that current UNSC protocols are still being made, and I thought Navy and UNSC vessels are similar enough I might due to take some lessons from the way things are run.”

The man smiled, “Well, sir generally the brass doesn’t sail. In the Navy you would have a cushy job somewhere on land behind a desk.”

“String me up when that day comes.”

“You and I feel the same way then. The sea is my life, Been sailing since I was a kid, and I couldn’t imagine what I’d do without her.

Commander Vir nodded, “its flying for me.”

Krill glanced around the ship, watching as men and women worked on objects that he did not know, wearing uniforms he did not recognize. They were led down onto the deck, and Commander Vir stumbled a few times, unsteady on the moving platform.

The captain grinned, easily riding the gentle rocking motion as if they weren’t moving, “Someone has yet to get their sea legs.”

Commander Vir gripped the railing, “Fun fact. I’ve never actually been on a boat, at least not larger than a canoe.

Behind him, Krill simply tried floating to avoid having to move, but found the boat deck moving below him, and a gentle sea breeze pushing him back. In panic he set down on the deck again.

“Seems strange, someone who pilots a ship,”

“No such thing as space legs.” The commander commented gingerly letting go of the railing. We have gravity mats that make it just like earth, and there is no wind or water to make us move. Steadier than riding in a car, and once the acceleration is done there is no way to know you are even moving.

The man shook his head, “Can’t imagine wanting to fly in space, being trapped inside a tin can that, if it malfunctions my eyeballs would be sucked out of their sockets.”

“Actually that doesn’t happen. You would freeze first, while your blood boiled off anyway.”

The man gave him a look, “You’re insane.”

“I’m insane! At least its better than drowning, or being eaten by sharks.”

The captain waved a hand, “I can’t remember the last time someone in the navy actually drowned.”

Commander vir eyed the edge of the ship nervously.

“Anyway, Commander, I am glad we could be of service, truth be told us sailors arent needed all that much anymore now that wars tend to take place in space and off world. Most of the stuff we do includes tracking down pirates and saving dumbass civilians who don’t know what a red sky at morning means.”

Commander Vir stared at hi blankly.

The man frowned, “You don’t know do you.”

“Can’t say I do.”

“Red sky at morning sailors take warning. Meaning there’s going to be bad weather?”

He shrugged, “Why not just use radar for that.”

“The man looked almost offended, “Thousands of years of accumulated knowledge, and you just want to use radar?” 

Krill watched in silence keeping notes in one of his cortical hemispheres as he listened. It was strange, by all rights these two men should have been similar in a lot of ways. When it came right down to it  a UNSC vessel and a Navy one were pretty much the same and included a lot of the same sort of things on board. Even the two men were similar in their almost rabid love of the place they worked. One and knew more about the ocean than krill thought there was no know, while the Commander had a handle on space that no other man in the history of humanity ever had.

To krill’s surprise it turned out there was some actual sill to floating on a large body of water. The man talked about the currents, and the weather patterns, and the way the ship liked to ride them. 

Space vs ocean, and neither man seemed to understand why the other would want to go anywhere near the other’s domain.

The Navy captain also seemed to be having a right old time watching commander vir stumble into things as he adjusted to his “sea legs.”

Krill had no idea what that meant, but he kind of doubted it was what it sounded like. The saying made hi think the human was going to spontaneously grow new legs for walking on the ship, but the more likely explanation seemed that the human body would get used to the constant moving, so the person would no longer have trouble when walking.

Krill didn’t really need sea legs, though he marveled at how the humans could seem to work so normally on a rolling surface when their balance was already unbelievable.

Around the ship, the regular Navy men were more than a bit tickled to see a member of the brass (UNSC or otherwise) wobble about like a ‘drunken’ sailor. Mostly it was funny and partially it made them feel superior to someone who would usually have that edge over them.

Eventually the Commander go the hang of it and accompanied the Captain to the bridge and around the ship to see how things worked taking occasional notes, but eventually ordering the Lt. to do it for him as, “Your fidgeting is making me nervous, so have something to do.”

Krill got stared at, a lot, but that was pretty normal for him, and, on one occasion, a call went out from one of the men on deck, and an entire group of them rushed over to one side, pointing at the water. The captain led them over just in time to watch in awe as a massive creature breached the surface of the water. Krill stepped back as the massive shape slowly tilted backwards and water erupted around it.

The captain turned to look at the commander with a smug expression, “Guess you didn't get to see that in space.”

He was a little less pleased to see the commander smirking at him, “Perhaps not…” he let it trail off there, though his grin was rather telling.

“What! You’re not telling e there are space wales.”

“I am not at liberty to discuss that, captain.”

Krill wasn’t entirely sure if their teasing was friendly or if their rivalry was something more than that.

Either way the captain did get the last laugh, as sitting inside the ship the commander didn’t touch his food head resting back against the wall, eyes closed. As a doctor, krill couldn’t help but notice the parlor that had fallen over his face. He was about to ask the commander if he was feeling ok when the captain strolled up, his turn to look smug and took a seat, “Don’t worry, a lot of people get seasick their first time. But I’m sure that’s not a problem in space.”

“Cosmic hysteria is worse.” The commander muttered.

“A bit green about the gills there. Do you want e to get you a bag.”

The commander frowned, but didn’t open his eyes.

“I thought you were a fighter pilot, shouldn’t you be immune to motion sickness.”

The human was teasing him, but commander Vir felt to sick to respond. He was very much determined to keep his lunch down, but knew that was going to be a losing battle. 

He could hear the sailors laughing as he bolted upright and sprinted to the edge of the deck mouth salivating so badly he was sure he was going to drip on his uniform.

Nothing was funnier to the crew than a member of the brass who couldn’t hold in his lunch on a ship.

Krill personally found a couple of things interesting, number one being the ardent glee that the other humans experienced upon watching the suffering of another. It seemed to be a common theme in humans, enjoying watching someone in power over you get what they deserve It seemed to make underlings feel superior in some way where they normally wouldn't. Through their ribbing was generally light-hearted and nothing worse beyond that.

Second being the human’s strange ability to become sick because of unpredictable rocking motions. He had never seen an alien with that issue, though, upon looking into it with the crew physician, he learned that humans, while having the best sense of kinesthetic awareness out of most of the species, that had to do with the placement of liquid inside the ear canal that moved with the movement of the head.

Constant movement that was in contradiction to the movement of the eyes, or caused the sloshing to become confused inside the ears could cause a reaction in the brain that simulated poisoning.

You see one of the first signs of neurotoxin is dizziness and the body responds with nausea. When movement causes the fluid in the ears to become jumbled and confused, the rain interprets this in the same way and responds with nausea.

Quite fascinating, and Krill couldn’t help feel his own sense of satisfaction knowing he couldnt get seasick.

Although he was ore than happy to get off this moving metal tube of death.

Leave it to humans to figure out a way to make metal float and then decide to spend days at a time on it.

Humans who loved large bodies of water were insane.

Though most humans were insane he supposed