#like duh quarantine was necessary and all but i think a side effect of it was general immaturity in society

[ace-with--a-mace]

i definitely think quarantine stunted everyone under the age of like 25's growth and its detrimental to society today

[mcustorm]

45 M/M Gay Movies, Ranked

The other day I bit the bullet and decided to watch Brokeback Mountain for the first time. All I knew about that movie was that it was basically the CMBYN of yesteryear and somebody got killed with a tire iron. Anyways, so I finish the movie and realize that I’ve seen a *lot* of gay movies, especially in the last couple of years. So here are my rankings according to nothing but my personal preference. I won’t write about all of them, but you can ask about something if I leave it out.

I wish I could give you a rubric for this. The reality is, there are some radically different movies on this list with different tones and intentions. There’s buddy comedies, tearjerkers, small indie features, big theater releases. So trying to rank them all is TUFF.

The Way He Looks - Such a beautiful coming-of-age movie. Maybe the 2nd one I saw on this list? Perfect length, perfect characterization, simple yet compelling, clever. And nothing feels better than reaching a happy ending (for once, because some of these movies’ endings-- SHEESH) that’s been earned. It just hasn’t been topped.

2. God’s Own Country

3. Pride

4. Kanarie - Yea, we don’t talk about this movie enough. It’s one of the most recent that I’ve seen. Beautiful. The way that it references apartheid and the war to reflect the protagonist’s feelings? Flawless.

5. Jongens - The first movie that I saw on this list, gets many a bonus point for that.

6. Moonlight - Yes, I am black. Yes, I understand this movie may be too low. Moonlight kind of scares me. In general, there’s not nearly enough discourse surrounding this one for me. But while it’s not exactly a popcorn-muncher, to me it’s the most personal movie on the list. When I look at Chiron and all that he’s been through, I can’t help but draw parallels to my own story up to this point. It holds a mirror up to me in a way that no other movie on this list does. That makes me uncomfortable.

But it is so poetic. Have you guys seen the script for this? The directing, the SOUNDTRACK, the acting. Phenomenal. 

7. Weekend

8. Call Me By Your Name - Yes, I am aware of people’s beef with this one. Yes, I understand a lot of people may feel this one is overrated. While I do think this one gets worse on rewatch, the truth is, it’s not really *that* overrated because hot take: most (meaning over half) of the movies on this list range somewhere from “just okay” to “painstakingly bad”.

It’s the score, the cinematography, the subtext in most all of the dialogue, the acting, the way that you can smell the apricots through the fucking screen. People who say this movie is a vacation ad are fucking CORRECT. One of my biggest gripes however is that it’s too fucking long. And uh, that age difference...

And Armie Hammer’s a weirdo...

9. Dating Amber* - Dating Amber has one of those “Duh” premises that sounds like it could’ve been done like 30 times before yet I can’t think of any other examples of it. So what you’d think would be a wacky premise actually turns out to be a frankly poignant movie with an emotional story arc for the main two characters.

10. Hello Stranger: The Movie* - This movie, which is the first sequel (sorta) on the list, frankly had no business being as good as it was. Even though the web series is required viewing, I felt the movie fixed like all of the series’ issues: pacing, lack of compelling drama, the awkward quarantine format. The drama and stakes are there without us having to visit Angst City. And the theme and the ending reprise is HEAT.

11. Uncle Frank* -  Uncle Frank is like The Help of gay movies. Like The Help, it’s *overall* a short, sweet and fluffy movie set decades ago. Like The Help, you’ll still come out of it feeling pretty good even though it has some dark moments. Also like The Help, you’ll wonder after the fact if the central white girl absolutely needed to be so...well, central for this story to be told. Bonus points for Paul Bettany and Character Actress Margo Martindale.

12. Brokeback Mountain - Tragic.

13. Moffie - Set during the South African border war, same as Kanarie. You even hear the word “moffie” throughout Kanarie. Anyways, this is a war movie for the gays, and a very intense watch. I liked that it was a much more realistic view of what a soldier endured during that period, and of course on the flip side I thought it was more thorough in its depiction of the rampant racism. I gotta find a good book on this era.

14. A Moment In the Reeds

15. Get Real - Maybe the most out of place movie on the list. I need to rewatch it. I do recall absolutely loving the score, however. Like, I fucks with this:

16. Freier Fall - When I finished Brokeback I was like, “Wait, wasn’t that just Free Fall with extra steps?” And yea, it kinda is. But even discount Brokeback is still pretty good.

17. Beautiful Thing - There are few things to like about this one, the relationship between the two guys, the mother’s love for her son even though it’s not all rainbows, that nice little final scene. I did not care for the dark-skinned woman being portrayed as, you know, the drug abusing, school dropout, gossipy, butt of jokes neighbor. But that guy really looks like Tom Holland tho.

18. Love, Simon - It’s at this point that I move from “Yea, that movie is good, you should watch it!” to “Look, you may like it, you may not.”

19. The 10 Year Plan - This movie is so fucking cheesy that there was cheddar coming though my speakers. But when I think of “Hallmark/Lifetime, but for the gays” this is the crown jewel. There’s some other movies on this list that could’ve taken some notes.

20. The Christmas Setup* - The trend of fluffy-white-gay-cable-network-movie continues and in good form. It’s not deep. It’s not really thought provoking. It’s cute. Fran Drescher is there. You should watch it.

21. Giant Little Ones

22. Hidden Kisses

23. Alex Strangelove - In a unique twist, the emotional core of this one is arguably between Alex and his girlfriend. All that ends up happening, however, is we the viewer keep wanting more Alex/Elliott scenes; those are the most electric in the whole movie. The end result is a hot yet endearing mess.

24. Fair Haven

25. The Thing About Harry - Freeform’s attempt at making a cheesy rom-com for the gays. It’s...okay. I personally feel like the main character’s friend is highkey trifling but it’s whatever.

26. Your Name Engraved Herein* - So I guess I’ve decided I officially hate angst. I mean, I get how it’s often necessary to tell an effective story, but I’m just not here for 2 hour indie angst fests that get passed off as “high art” anymore. I cannot do it. Somehow this is Brokeback’s fault...there just has to be a better way to tell gay stories in the 2020′s. Anyways, the last song was fuego.

27. The Perfect Wedding - Easily the most bizarre movie on this list. It’s so bad, I liked it a lot.

28. Naz and Maalik - The first half of the movie with the two leads just riffing is some pretty great stuff. The back half starts throwing plot developments that are just less than interesting.

29. My Best Friend

30. The Curiosity of Chance

31. Being 17 - Boring. Angsty.

32. And Then We Danced

33. Center of My World - Has some of the most trifling characters EVER. I was so angry. This movie for me has *0* rewatchability.

34. Just Friends

35. 4th Man Out - This movie was basically “a bro/Hangover-style movie, but for the gays.” I absolutely love the intention, but the execution was a little shoddy. One day we’re gonna get a flawless movie that nails what this movie was going for. I hope we remember this movie whenever that day comes.

36. Latter Days - So fucking preachy. 

37. GBF - Another bizarre one, but at least this movie gets how wacky it is.

38. Beach Rats

39. Shelter - I’ve noticed a lot of people like this one. To that I say...yikes. Remember that scene from Family Guy where Peter says he doesn’t care for The Godfather? I did not care for Shelter. It insists upon itself (not really, but still).

40. Handsome Devil

41. Esteros - It’s at this point of the list that we shift from “Movies that are the definition of ‘ight’ “ to “These movies are bad. Bad. BAAAAAD.”

42. Monster Pies

43. Were the World Mine - I couldn’t even finish it. Wanna watch a better musical? Go watch Kanarie. Wanna watch a better Shakespeare adaptation? The Lion King is the movie for you, or even fucking She’s the Man.

44. North Sea Texas - So boring. I actually think this one may need a rewatch, because I swear it shouldn’t have been as terrible as it was.

45. Salvation Army - I have no idea what this movie was going for. I understand that it is autobiographical, however...it simultaneously barely has any plot or character developments. This one has shades of Beach Rats, but it’s significantly worse, and I didn’t even like Beach Rats that much.

So that’s it, thanks if you made it down this far. I guess I’ll update the list as I inevitably watch more of these. I would love movie recommendations! 

[natashart]

Heyo! Could you do some headconons for the MLQC boys with an s/o who is blind or legally blind? I’m legally blind myself (without my glasses or course), so I’m wondering how they might react to finding out and how they would help. Thank you very much!

Of course! I’m so sorry for the extremely long wait nonny! Life has been super hectic since I first started this blog, but with quarantine things have (in a way) finally calmed down! I hope you enjoy (if you ever find this anyways. It’s been so fucking long I’m sorry ksjafkdfksf). 

None of the boys would really treat you all that differently if you were legally blind/blind. I think they’d all agree on the fact that you are still a capable of taking care of yourself, even with your poor eyesight. But they certainly have their own ways of helping you when you need it!

Gavin:

Thinks you’re really cute with your glasses on :(( and isn’t afraid to let you know but he’ll definitely get all blushy and smiley hehe. He’s such a softy for you 

Is 100%!! Always there to help you !!! Being a total little bit of a mother hen, Gavin will gladly be one gust of wind away to help you out in any situation necessary. 

10/10 will read things out for you if you can’t make out the words and it’s honestly the cutest thing kjdkakdjkaf

Always really gentle if he’s helping you maneuver around areas that may be particularly cluttered 

Will call to make sure you have your glasses on in case you have a habit of forgetting 

Lowkey kinda worried that you might bump into an unseen pole and die or something but he’s also reassured by your own personal capabilities to not do that. He won’t totally treat you like you’re fragile, but he does take care to look out for you when he needs to

He just wants you to be safe :(

Will follow a lot of online tips on how to make his home more accessible for you, but for the most part, he’ll rely more on himself to assist you rather than anything else. He takes pride in being able to help and take care of you when needed

Easily the best at making you feel the most protected. He’s there for you whenever you need him, and in every single situation he’s always thinking of how to care for you/protect you! Maybe it seems a little suffocating at times, but Gavin is always the one to be on watchdog mode when it comes to your wellbeing. 

Kiro

Puts on your glasses for fun to see what he’ll look like in them lol

Look, MC! I look just like you don’t I?

Wouldn’t be surprised if he wears contacts himself, but he would totally buy a matching pair of glasses frames so he could twin with you

Always by your side with a patient smile whenever you need him. Much like Gavin, he loves helping you too! Definitely gives you more liberty to take care of yourself, though. 

Asks before offering assistance because he doesn’t want to step in your way

Kiro especially loves helping you because it means he gets to spend just that extra bit of time with you. You’re both working people with busy schedules, and with Kiro’s perpetually tight schedule sometimes it’s hard to really have that one-on-one alone time with each other. So he will happily come over and help whenever you need it.

Sometimes kind of of forgetful of your impairment and may not always be the best at giving you the most descriptive directions of where things are located. 

It’s on the left, MC!

...Kiro I’m blind

Will ask you if you have a heightened sense of smell or hearing or something to make up for your lack of vision lmao

Surprised by the seemingly lack of resources for people with vision impairments. He wants you to receive the same treatment as he does anywhere you two go!

Will definitely be a public advocate for improvements in public life for those with vision impairments!!!!! He’ll take to social media and even to the higher ups he’s acquainted with to support any measures that’ll improve daily life for people who are visually impaired (or have any other disabilities, really). 

Easily the best at making you find more sparkle in your life. Kiro knows having impaired vision is no bueno and can make like more difficult, but with him around, the little setbacks become less frustrating and more fun

Lucien

Is that bitch who will ask you how many fingers he’s holding up to test your vision

but as a joke

The most knowledgeable about such vision impairments!! Duh !!! He’s also got a wide range of knowledge on the best ways to help you. In that sense, he’s also the most relaxed about it

Is a fellow glasses wearer because we all know his vision is probably fucked from the many late nighters he’s pulled with his nose stuck in a textbook or something

Is probably knowledgeable enough to check up on your eyes for you, but he’ll suggest you visit a licensed practitioner anyways for most future needs

Would really love to take you out to a variety of exhibits that focus on more visual effects (i.e. an art museum, a film festival, an aquarium, etc.), but depending on the severity of your vision loss, he’s sure to find alternatives that you can fully enjoy as well! Will take you out to go listen to a beautiful concerto, visit a local animal shelter, or an art class instead!

Really good at describing things for you when you need it. He’s got a wide range of vocabulary and a really nice voice  so he’ll easy make anything as descriptive as possible for you

Will sometimes help you out without asking if you need it. Not in an unassuming “you can’t do anything” way. He just likes to play the part of prince charming. But for the most part, he’ll always ask to help before he does anything.

Will use this as an excuse to hold your hand or tuck your arm into his more often

Easily the best at making you feel the most included in whatever activity you’re partaking in. Will never make your lack of vision seem like a setback or a nuisance.

Victor

Offers you the best resources needed to help with your vision impairment. The best eye doctor, the best public services, etc.

He has a lot of connections with a lot of different people, so there’s no way he can offer you something other than the best of the best

Carries spare glasses with him that have your prescription or any other tool that’ll help you see 

For the most part,,,he really doesn’t treat you any differently. He’s not much of a coddler imo, so he’ll kind of leave you to your own devices 

That’s not to say that Victor won’t help at all--it’s far from that!--but he just won’t be constantly breathing down your neck to see if you need help. He really believes in your independence

His general help is in more subtle ways, like offering to drive you home every night so you don’t have to worry about walking alone in the dark, or conveniently ordering any business documents sent your way to have larger text font in order to help you read a bit better 

But if you ever need anything from him, you’ll get top quality service for sure!

Good at boosting your confidence. Perhaps he’s not overtly expressive in his praise, but his continual belief in your own capabilities to do things on your own really help you feel like more of a “normal” person.

Adds in little touches to all of his at-home facilities that’ll allow you to use everything he owns more freely

Huge supporter to charities for the blind. Will also directly fund city-wide projects that help the blind

Easily the best at making you feel the most confident! He really shows you that you’re just as capable at anyone else to be successful and thrive, and anyone who says otherwise can go to hell.