#like damn i know hes not SUPERMAN or anything but bestie idk about you but i am NOT doing that shit

[grimalkinmessor]

Chuckling in disbelief a little because I saw someone call out some Reigen art for "displaying him as too heroic" like—sorry, I didn't see this man level a gun 'tweenst the eyes of a psychotic terrorist and shoot without flinching, dead sprint into a huge hurricane, bodyslide down a falling building doing parkour off flying rubble, all to help his disciple just to reduce him to Some Weird Guy lmao

[cinnbar-bun]

WILDCARD: Mysmes as gbf units (what element, what weapon they'd use, what race they'd be and so on)

*rubs hands together* I was MADE for this

Zen: Light element- I’m kinda gonna base this on his outfit for when he played Zorro. He’d be kind of mysterious but over-dramatic- he’d introduce himself as an aspiring actor, flirt with Danchou for a bit and be all ‘hehe obviously the god’s regret making me this handsome’. He has a rapier on his side and Vyrn roasts him literally every second like ‘yo dodo bird do you even fight bro????’ and Zen gets SO offended. His fate episode has him basically chatting your ear off and you’re like ‘why is he even in my crew-he’s as chaotic as Aoidos???’ But as you level him up he is the sweetest thing ever and his v-day+ white day cutscenes would be the absolute cutest things ever!!! He’d be so suave you’d have a heart attack!!

Rarity: I’d go off on a limb here and say maybe r or Sr, since he’s the “easy” route, he’d prolly be one of the easiest to get. I’d also say he’d be a fan favorite real quick, so he gets an sr summer skin and sr event character, maybe an outfit or two as well. 

Skills: Based on his personality, I think he’d be one that can charm enemies with a cheesy skill name like ‘dazzling skin’ or ‘blinding smile’. Also based on his rather hot-headed personality, he’d prolly be someone with ‘hostility-up’. I’d even say when you get him to level 45 and earn his last skill, he’d have a skill that heals or takes hits for you, the MC. 

Weapon: Rapier, as said before. I think he’d call it ‘Zorro’ or something else that’s entirely stupid. When you summon his weapon, it’d be called ‘radiant rapier’. 

Yoosung- Wind element. He’s an absolute cutie and would prolly be a hermit in the forest chatting it up with his animal buddies and you gotta drag his butt outside while he screams about the sun. His whole character arc is him getting utterly ROASTED by Vyrn and literally everyone because of how much of a NEET he is. Lyria and Danchou try to reintegrate him into society and trust people more. He starts off as ‘happy’ in his fate episode, gets melancholic in his skill episode, then becomes truly happy in a cross episode with another character. 

Rarity: Sr. Unfortunately he’s not as popular as most, so he probably gets an event unit at most besides his original. I think he’d eventually be recognized as being a great character and may get a summon stone though. 

Skills: I think he’d be a healer/buffer to the crew. So he’d be healing with a skill called “Superman Yoosung to the rescue!!” and then a buff for wind characters like “NERF THIS WIND LOLOL!!!” And then his last skill will be a really sentimental one like “I’ve become stronger now” and it places a defense shield on him and ally. 

Weapon: Staff. He’s a healer, but his sprite has like a bird and deer somewhere. If you were to summon him, it’d be called “Staff of Life”. 

Jaehee- Is a tired woman who you bump into because she’s busy trying to deal with Jumin’s shit. She apologizes quickly and Lyria is like “OMG BUT WE NEED TO HELP HER!!!!’ So her whole character arc is you helping her she should achieve her dreams and then suddenly she’s like ‘yeah LEMME QUIT AND START A CAFE!!!’ She becomes great friends with Sandalphon becuase they both bleed coffee and are done with everyone, but have a soft spot for the captain, and have massive crushes on their white haired besties (i mean whaaaaat). 

Rarity: Sr. She gets an original, but a second sr version where she has finally achieved her dream. It’s a really cute closure to her character, and Jumin doesn’t act so OOC to fill a quota lol. 

Skills: She’d be debuffer/ buffer extraordinaire. Cooldown times shorten, atk goes up, and she has a stackable skill ‘The faster you finish, the faster you can leave!!’ in which her hostility and atk goes up, her def goes down, and she HITS HARD!!! 

Weapon: stack of papers Idk tbh, maybe a tome, but it’s referred to as a staff (call it a gd book jfc Cygames lol). She’d probably earth element and WILL BREAK THE EARTH IN HALF!!!!

Jumin- The rich, stoic prince of a kingdom you end up meeting on accident. He only joins you because you found Elizabeth the 3rd and he was very grateful. So imagine Percival on steroids and that’s Jumin as a GBF character. He’s quick to call bullshit, but every time Vyrn or Zen roasts him it flies over his head/he roasts them back a thousand times harder. His arc is him learning to trust his FEEELINSS!! Also becomes close with Dante and they both philosophically discuss cats like they’re their gods. His V-day and White Day cutscenes will be the EXACT SAME AS SIEGFRIED!! HE’S AWFUL ON V DAY BUT ON WHITE DAY HE’LL BE COMPLIMENTING YOU AND BEING HAWT BUT THEN HE’S LIKE ‘I RESPECT YOU’. DUMB IDIOT STILL DOESN’T KNOW FEELINGS!! 

Rarity: SSR. He’s quickly become a fan favorite and has two ssr versions, his original and maybe a halloween/ christmas version, and then an anniversary skin where he’s wearing a dashing tux and it will say on the description, ‘Can you keep up with me’ or something safdsjgnfljsnjkn I’m dying CYGAMES MM COLLAB WHENST????

Skills: He’s a dark debuffer/ defensive character. He can hit hard but he is more focused on longer battles where survivability is more necessary than him nuking. He’d have a def down for enemies and it’s called ‘I get checks’ and a def up for all allies called ‘Ahh- to be with Elizabeth the 3rd again’ 

Weapon: A beautiful sword/ lance that is very pristine and glorious. It’s gonna have a diamond on it somewhere and it’s gonna be a reference to how his father gave him that pen. 

Also!!! He gets a cross-fate episode with Zen where they both roast each other before actually talking out their feelings and working it out. I can also imagine an episode where he delves more into his distrust of women and why he focuses on his Elizabeth so much. 

707- He’s so god damn chaotic you wonder WHY THE HELL IS HE EVEN ALLOWED??? Okay so you end up meeting him when Rackam is trying to fix the Grandcypher and homeboy shows up, suggests some ideas and him and Rackam go nutso over ships (this version of cars). He has a lot of inside jokes and is very memeable for a GBF character, becoming a notorious part of the April Fools event. His fate episodes start off happy before becoming depressing and you’re like wow why don’t you just run me over with a boat huh???

Rarity: SSR. Super popular and has like…five variants lol. I say he’d be a fire nuker all the time except for one ssr variant, in which it’s a dark version where it was a ‘what if he fell into despair?1!!!!???’ Super depressing story holy cow. He’s got an event sr in there, it’s pretty good. He’s prolly also got a summer, Christmas, or Halloween variant somewhere there. Of course, because of his popularity, he gets skin or two as well. 

Weapon: I imagine him using a fire gun. Like imagine a better Rackam. It’d be called something like, “hacker’s resolve”. 

Skills: Fire nuker. He’s horrible for long distance fights, but he focuses a lot on enmity, hype, and hostility up fights where he needs to hit hard and fast. For sure has a skill called, ‘I’m in’, and “Defender of Justice-707!!’ and after you complete the heart-wrenching skill ep. he gets his final skill called, “god forgive me”. It’s so depressing T-T

Also!! Has a cross-fate with both Yoosung and Unknown where they focus on family and growing past their own background. 

Unknown- A very scary dude when you first meet him, who tries to kill you on sight. Lyria…does something and he’s like, ‘I need to get revenge so I’ll stick with you if you let me kill people’. His episodes start off VERY dark and disturbing, but gradually get happier as he becomes more acquainted with the MC. I’d say he’s basically like Azazel where he’s so tsundere about everything and you’re ‘okay brooooo’. His valentines day cutscenes would be absolutely hilarious as he’s like ‘ew why would I take anything you make’ to ‘i dreamt of eating your chocolate again’. His white day scenes would be SOOOOOO worth it tho, he gets you a bouquet of flowers with special meaning and is blushing and tells you to take it before he freaks out. 

Rarity: Originally a water sr, but then got a wind SSR version that represents him growing and becoming ‘Saeran’ again. It’s a super amazing growth that makes everyone weep when they!! see!! the!! baby!! smile!! He prolly has  a Halloween version where he dresses as the phantom again. 

Weapon: Firearms. Tons of guns and explosions. 

Skills: He’s an attacker/debuffer. He can hit hard like his brother but can ACTUALLY TAKE A HIT AND NOT DIE!!! I can imagine he’d have a self heal skill called ‘mint eye elixir’ where he drinks a potion and heals, but if you do it too much he eventually can be knocked out or raise his atk a lot but get killed by getting slapped too hard. He’d have tons of debuffs where he blinds and confuses foes, and his last skill would be called ‘unraveled chains’ where he boosts his atk and def. His SSR version would be a lot different and more focused on buffing everyone up, and he’s so good at it. They’re mostly related to flowers and how he’s grown and changed as a person, and how he finally reached happiness.

V- He is a blind wizard. That’s it. That’s literally how you meet him you go ‘lol there’s no such thing as a-’ and V saves your ass from getting run over by a cart or something. You beg him to join and he’s like ‘well of course I’ll help you wonderful children!!!’ His v-day and white day scenes are absolutely heartbreaking yet so emotional because he talks about his past with Rika yet says how he can finally ‘see’ the light since joining you. His story IS SAD!! SAD!! SAD BOI HOURS AT ALL TIMES!!! A BLIND MAN IS CRYING OVER HOW HIS SINS WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO WASHED AWAY AND HE SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO GET A SECOND CHANCE AND!!! SO SAD!!

Rarity: Water SSR plus a dark sr from an event where he’s in his mint eye clothes. Gets a Halloween skin where he’s dressed as a detective trying to find his happiness and will to live. 

Skills: Self-sacrificing skills that buff everyone up. It’s so sad because he’s so good at buffing everyone and making everyone a tank but you just… dude you wanna talk about it?? Do you want a healer omg man, I’m so sorry. 

Weapon: Blind wizard. He uses a staff, which doubles as his walking staff. 

[winedownwithcoffee]

DWTS Season 27 Cast Write Up and Unwanted Thoughts

Okay! So now that everyone is known, let’s do this list so people can have a basic ass write up of who they are. Also, when reading these, please keep in mind WHO the GP is. Mainly, white, middle aged, conservative women from Middle America, OKAY!

Nikki & Gleb: Nikki is a stand-up comedian. She is best known for her now cancelled sex show, stints on Inside Amy Schumer and her sex podcast. She is political and raunchy. She was on the Roast of Rob Lowe and the Roast of Bruce Willis. Otherwise? No clue about her. She is paired with Gleb. Like do we really need to say more about him.

Alexis & Alan: Alexis is a Maxim & Sports Illustrated model and a “social influencer”. She has a huge IG following, but that is what she is known for. She is an Instagram model. That’s it. However, she is paired with Alan. Alan is one of the male pros who has been killing it. On top of that, Alexis does have some redeeming background stories that can really touch people if done correctly.

Evanna & Keo: Evanna is known solely from Harry Potter. She is Looney Luna Lovegood, which I want to applaud the DWTS Social Team. While we all stared at “we’re not gonna lie” the REAL hint was “we LOVE how GOOD”. ANYWAYS. She has the HP Fandom vote, she is a little thing and she is young. That video shows she has some serious potential. IF Keo can actually choreograph the way he should, they have some potential.

Tinashe & Brandon: This is the one pairing I am confused about. I fully expected Val with her. ANYWAY. Tinashe honestly is unknown in most households. Unless you are a 16-21 year old, not many people know her. The only thing you even hear about her recently is shit about Kendall Jenner and her ex. Her most recent album was supposedly canceled by RCA Records. Yet she has some followers. And the newest pro with no real fan-base attached to him yet, which will be a hindrance. But she has some training so that will help. But always remember, being a top dancer does NOT mean you are going to win, especially if you don’t connect with the GP.

Mary Lou & Sasha: an 80’s Icon. The first american gymnast to win an all around gold medal. an 80’s Icon. While I know there are some problematic things, MOST viewers of this show do not. They have no idea she tried to block a bill. And honestly, I don’t know if they will care. She is paired with my least favorite pro, but a lot of people do like him a lot.

Nancy & Val: Another 80’s Icon. Facts of Life star.  With the Favorite Male pro. I don’t really need to say a damn thing because she will be there for a couple weeks at least.

Danelle & Artem: The inspiring BLIND Paralympian. She is BLIND. Like holy crap. Granted, she is paired with Artem and we have NO idea how he will do with her. But she could be extremely inspirational.

Milo & Witney: Milo is a Disney actor. In a movie called Zombies? Also he is Camryn Manheim’s son, who I love. But he’s a cute kid, but he is also who the hell is he without a google search? If Wit keeps her choreography he might be decent.

Demarcus & Lindsay: He is a football player, from America’s Team (gah I just gagged typing that. I hate the Cowgirls). Football players have done exceptionally well, however we have had a TON of football players and people on Facebook are still mad because “there weren’t supposed to be any athletes this season!!!” BUT he is paired with Lindsay, and she is by and far one of the best choreographer on this show anymore tbh.

John & Emma: An 80’s fan favorite. Bo Duke from Dukes of Hazard. Also Superman's dad in Smallville. Wouldn’t say he is an Icon but like, 70s & 80’s babies know him well. Had some trouble with the law lately, but the GP still knows him. He has Emma. Emma is compassionate and knows how to work with the older guys. I honestly don’t know HOW he will do.

Juan Pablo & Cheryl: Latin singer and actor on Fuller House. He’s attractive and Latin and can dance. He hasn’t been in anything else that is big but he’s been around for awhile and he is sexy. He’s danced on Fuller House and did real well. He is with the OG pro who people still love. I don’t know much else about him but I bet he has some serious staying power.

Joe & Jenna: Joe is a bachelor contestant. He doesn’t have a wiki page so like….I don’t know. He was a first night elimination on Becca’s season, but is on Bachelor in Paradise with a Kendall chick, who apparently dumped him on the season finale but also they are still together? Idk I don’t watch those shows and it confuses me. I went through 3 pages of Google search for this dude and have only learned he is hot, he is a grocer (or his parents are? Idk) and people are upset about him and Kendall. BUT he is with the reigning champion, so we shall see.

Bobby & Sharna: Bobby has a nationally syndicated radio show on iHeartRadio. He is also now the creative director of iHeartRadio. He is a best selling author, tours with his own sell out stand-up show. Has been on Idol, which is probably where he was approached to do this show tbh. I don’t know how he will dance, I haven’t seen it. But he has a really good story that can connect to people and is a funny dude. He is also paired with Shar who people desperately want to win.

At this point, it can go just about any way. I don’t want to do a prediction but I can if we think I should and then compare how well I did at the end of the season. Or bestie and I both can because let’s be honest, she is really freaking accurate.