#like chemistry blaaaaah

[numberonepartyboy]

i need to put all nighter AND dayer i havent slept all nignt i need energy

[claudiadpdl]

sh ramblings under cut blaaaaah

i really feel like sh-ing has altered my brain chemistry or whatever. i have like.....a pavlovian response to all emotions now, not just negative ones. whenever im feeling too much of something, even if its only almost overwhelming, my brain tells me i need to sh to calm down or let some of it out. like i have no other way of properly handling an abundance of emotion aside from the thing i did/do when im feeling the negative ones. it's seeped into every other emotion i feel too and it's become my primary response and i hate it and have no idea how to stop those thoughts

like i don't cave every time, but the urge is almost unbearable sometimes. and when i do fold, there's no guilt afterwards like there used to be, it's just....nothing. or i have urge to do it again.

[addams-beineke]

And like, to be fair to Sam, Crazy For You by Madonna is like, my favorite song of all time and it really does set a mood.