#like can we talk about how bill deals with georgie's death and his parents neglect by being an adrenaline junkie

[thecatspirits]

- TO DO LIST -

Analysis of the queer coding of Eddie and Richie across all IT canon material (1986 novel, 1990 miniseries, and 2017 & 2019 films + possibly The World of IT, Official Character Spotify Playlists, and 11/22/63)

Analysis about my interpretation of the Losers Club fears in the 1986 IT novel and the changes made in the 2017 & 2019 films

General character analysis of each Losers Club member

Time-accurate music playlists for each Losers Club member for my IT AU called Ouroboros

Analysis of the queer coding in the Quarry Scene

[mikeshanlon]

do you like astrology and if you do what signs do you think the losers are

Okay so shoutout @denbrough (mo) for helping me with this, also @stenbranlons (claudia) for nodding alongin our gc, I’m sorry we talked about this for like a week RGLKNRG. To preface,we are in no way astrology experts lmao, we pulled from several differentsources and picked which ones we felt fit best. Which, that being said, we didnot consider any of the canon birthdays for this, just vibes. Ik some peopleare very particular about astrology headcanons LGRNG so these are just our ownopinions, any differing ones are not less valid or whatever. Also, charts arevery complex and have many different factors, like Mercury for communicationand Venus for love, etc, we just decided to do the main three placements. Incase some of y’all don’t know, someone’s Sun sign is essentially their basicidentity and personality, it’s how we act in the world, and our conscious mind.Our moon sign is our emotional self, our unconscious, how we react tothings, our deepest needs. Some astrologists say this is more like our “trueself”. One’s rising or ascendant sign is our social personality, it is howpeople perceive us, and often how we perceive the world and new experiences—it representsthe “outward”. Some refer to it as the mask we wear around others, though thatdoes not mean our rising/ascendant is fake, but rather how we act and thinkwhen interacting with our environment. Anyways because this is me, theseexplanations became super fucking long so I’m sorry about that! This was superfun though, thank you for asking!

Bill:

Leo Sun: Leos are leaders, theyare very charming and pull people in with their loyalty, humor, and confidence.All of the losers love Bill and are very enraptured by him, Leos tend to be inthe spotlight and adored, so I think this is very fitting. They always want tohelp people but sometimes they can also get fixated and arrogant and end up neglectingwhat others need—for instance Bill being so fixated on finding Georgie that hedoesn’t totally realize the other losers are really scared and getting hurt. Still,Leos are very inspiring and fearless and want their people to be happy. Leosare also quite romantic and generous, which I think are traits that can beattributed to Bill.

Cancer Moon: Okay so I have alwayssaid Bill has Big Cancer Energy, but I think it makes most sense as hisemotional self. Cancers are caretaker types; they want the best for theirfriends and do whatever they can to help them. They are persuasive—sometimes tothe point of manipulation. Many Cancers are afraid of rejection/abandonment(hello Bill’s shitty parents and him holding onto the idea of his brother foras long as possible!) Because they are so caring and sensitive towards theirfriends, they can be quite moody—both anger and sadness. (Bill be Crying andpunching his friends sometimes doe!) Cancers like art and are very imaginative(Bill’s art and writing). When I think of Cancers, I think of tender h*rniness.They fall in love very easily and crave a deep love and can be v thirsty attimes lmao, to me that really encapsulates Bill. Cancer Moons are also verydomestic and love comfort, and while I think Bill likes to go on adventures, Ithink he is someone who enjoys a sort of domestic routine with the people heloves from time to time. Cancer also rules the moon so he’s Extra EmotionalLNRGRG.

Aries Rising: Those with Ariesrising are often leaders, lively, generous, warm, and have a reputation ofbeing a troublemaker. They are rash and jump into situations (HELLO BILL KINGOF DUMB IMPULSE DECISIONS). But, they are very engaging and can be greatmotivational speakers (Neibolt speech teas). They want to help friends to thepoint that if they refuse, an Aries rising individual will refuse to acceptthat rejection. Furthermore, sometimes they can come off a bit like arrogantassholes, but they really do care about their friends and just want to helperklgneg. Aries rising people are very emotional and their impulsiveness cansometimes translate into rushing serious relationships.

Mike:

Libra Sun: Libras are very diplomatic;they bring harmony and balance and can see multiple sides. I think this fitsMike very well, for instance during the scene where the losers are by the PaulBunyan statue, Mike understands why Stan is looking at this logically but healso understands Bill’s emotional reaction. He also understands why Bill andBeverly think they should stay together and help, but he also understands whyRichie/Ben/Stan don’t want to keep going. He tries to get everyone to calm thefuck down and cooperate. Libras hate conflict, aside from Mike’s nonviolence(not wanting to kill the sheep and hesitating to hurt Henry until he knew itwas life or death), he also avoided telling all the losers about why he askedthem to return, showing sometimes his aversion to conflict can be a negative. Librasoften get fixated on one thing—the crazy conspiracist Mike of it all… Iunderstand why people think he could be a Taurus because of his commitment tothe losers and staying in Derry for 27 years, but I think that is super tied tothe idea of bringing justice for those who P*nnywise killed and will try to kill,Libras are super into fighting against injustice. Also, Libras are ruled byVenus and love love and are very charming, I think Mike has a certain pull andmagnetism about him.

Taurus Moon: Individuals withtheir moon in Taurus are very warm, affectionate, and sentimental. They like togather all the facts but can be somewhat impressionable, again I think thismakes sense with how he decides that he believes pennywise exists and hisresearch as he stays in Derry. Speaking of, this line from Mo’s book killed me:“when you’re confronted with a problem you look for the most effective way todeal with it, and even if it’s personally painful for you, you get it handled”.Like. Oh my god. They also like creature comforts—often Taurus is linked withluxury but I think in this sense his ‘luxury’ is his kitschy clutter of thingsthat hold sentimental value—supernatural items, knick knacks from his childhood,his favorite books, etc. He holds these dear and this is probably why his homeis a big ol mess but he likes it and finds it cozy. Speaking of, they are veryromantic and want a life of domesticity, which feels very Mike to me! Theyinvest a lot in their friendships, I think this is true of Mike as well seeingas you know.. he sacrifices years of his life so they can be happy.

Capricorn Rising: Those withCapricorn rising can be quite shy with strangers, but once they get to knowpeople, they are very friendly and warm. They are very dedicated to theirgoals, these goals are often to strive for a better life (Mike wanting to savethe people of Derry, Mike wanting to travel, etc). But sometimes this strivingcan make Cap risings feel unfulfilled and they continue to search for somethingmissing. Capricorn rising individuals are smart and concentrated, they are ableto parse through information and plan ahead, though sometimes they go overevery detail too much—Mike is very into research and understanding things andsearches every possibility. They love deeply and are very loyal and protectiveof those they love. They can worry a lot. Mo also added that cap risings are dependent,reliable, and stable. which can be attributed to mike staying in derry allthose years and keeping that promise to call them. Overall he’s very groundedand down to earth with his rising/moon!

Stan:

Virgo Sun: Virgos are veryanalytical and pay attention to the little details. Often times, this leads tothem being very critical of themselves and others, and they are prone toworrying. I think Stan is someone who tries to navigate through life logically,but he can get caught up in the anxieties of everything going wrong and getoverwhelmed. They often like animals and nature (not to be like Stan likesbirds and plants and shit but he does GLKNRG), and value cleanliness, sometimesthis leads to germaphobia or hypochondria especially because Virgos tend toworry (and we know Stan is a germophobe and deals with OCD, he has to clean thebloody bathroom in a certain way, the painting needs to be perfectly straight,etc.). In friendships, Virgos usually play a role of an advisor—they are veryloyal and want to solve problems but sometimes that means they find problems ineverything (I think Stan tries to advise the group but also Bill is like okaylet’s do it like this

Pisces Moon: Some people view Stanas very emotionless or even angry, but I think he’s quite emotional, he justtries to operate with logic first. Pisces moons are often described as ‘dreamy’and want to escape reality (Stan being like it’s summer let’s just forget what’sgoing on and… other stuff lmao). They are very emotional, but those emotionscan be hard for others to read because they are very mysterious, and even hardfor the individual to express. They have a strange sense of humor (kookiekookie lend me your bonessssss). Those with Pisces moon are very sweet andsensitive to others suffering and are drawn to those in crisis often (like.Literally all of the losers LKGNRKRG) and can be overly trusting (I swear Bill!!!).They are also very afraid of the past coming back to haunt them… :(. Mo the ultimate Stan stan also had this to say: ever since claudia tagged one ofmy posts about stan being one of the most emotional losers but no one evertalking about it, i'm constantly thinking about how stan reacts to things. myinitial reaction was scorpio moon, but scorpio moons are really good at hidingtheir emotions. think about stan's reactions to big events in his life: gettingleft alone in the sewers, his bar mitzvah getting mike's call. he has distinctemotional reactions. pisces is also the sign of sorrow and self-undoing, sothinking back to some canon events it just makes a lot of sense to me. piscesmoons are also really selfless when it comes to their friends, but very strictand disciplined when it comes to themselves.

Aquarius Rising: There’s thissection in Mo’s astrology book that just like. So completely encapsulates Stanand how he interacts with the losers imo: “You are often intolerant of otherpeople’s shortcomings and can be wickedly sarcastic and very funny at the sametime. Your razor-sharp powers of observation help you uncover flaws that youcan poke fun at. You are a system of paradoxes. You enjoy being with people butare perfectly content to be alone. You like to travel but love relaxing athome. You are friendly and outgoing but, at other times, moody and reserved.” Like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Also, those with their rising in Aquarius are very idealistic and want theworld to be happy and harmonious (Stan being like its summer can we chill andnot wanting to be part of any conflict). They can also feel impatient towardsthose who don’t share the same vision.

Beverly: (imma be honest Bev was the hardest toplace so don’t judge lerngerg)

AquariusSun: To me, Aquarians are the epitome of like… chill/friendly stonerthat likes to talk about conspiracy theories and injustices of the world whiley’all are seshing but they are also kinda mysterious bc you never really knowwhats going on in their head …. which is v Bev to me RLGKNNKRG. Aquarians lovehanging out with friends and are really good listeners, which I think is trueof Beverly—they also have odd senses of humor. They are humanitarians that liketo fight for justice, I think Bev is someone who wants to fight for those whoare being hurt bc it’s something she has experienced and wants to provide thehelp that she didn’t get. For instance, she’s the one who’s like we need to gosave Mike, and she also wants to help save Derry and agrees with Bill that theyshould keep fighting Pennywise during the big fight after Neibolt. Aquarians canbe quite paradoxical—at times they are shy, other times loud and eccentric, Ithink this makes sense for Bev, another quality is that those with their sun inAquarius like to have some time alone, both of these things make me think ofthe moments she enjoys on her own and the other times she seeks out fun withthe losers and does crazy shit like jump off a cliff LKGNKNRG. They can bekinda bad at emotional expression and are very guarded with their emotions,sometimes coming of cold/bitchy until they know they can trust someone (Bev toBen at first on the stairs elrkgnerg).

Aquarius Moon: okay Mo wrote this explanation and I thot it was perfect so: Moon in Aquarius brings upthe qualities of sensitivity and perception. Since aqua is the sign of rationalthinking and humanitarianism, moon in Aquarius gives a person a clear mindsetand kinder outlook on life. Moon in Aqauarius are rational, intuitive, andimaginative, which i think can speak for a lot of beverly's character traitsand actions like her monologue in it 2017 where she tries to rationally explainwhy pennywise is going after them and how they have to defeat it, whereaseveryone else is struck by fear and emotional, or at the end of it 2019 whereshe tells richie that eddie is dead, and being intuitive enough to know thatshe has to tell him and tell him in a specific way, the imagination quality isa clear call to her artistic vision as a designer. aqua moons have greatvitality, they're witty conversationalists, and all around great friends. ithink that the friendliness and sociability of her aqua moon can be offset byher sag rising so there's more balance and nuance to her characteristics there.they're interested in the unusual, specifically in people, which could link herto vibing so well with the losers club. they can't stand possessive or jealouslovers, but they unconsciously choose people who aren't available to them (herfirst husband). they need a fine line between commitment and independence,which i think speaks to her behavior as a kid. she needs the stability and thespace to grow she didn't have from her dad. they deeply value platonic love. overall,aqua moons are independent, they have stimulating minds, persuasive charms, anda side of their personality that will always gear towards the unusual

SagittariusRising: Sagittarians love hanging out with their friends, but they alsohave the desire to be free and have adventures (I want to run towardssomething, not away! Queen). They are wise but optimistic, again I think thisties with things like her understanding that they all have to stick together tobeat pennywise, but also believing that they have the ability to kill It aswell. They are humorous and can be quite outgoing and confident, there aretimes when Bev is v confident and wild (teasing Ben, jumping off the cliff,initiating the rock war, etc). Sag risings are also v brave—like every single timeshe fights It or the Bowers or her dad or her husband. They’re good at tellingstories. They are also people who fight for the oppressed and want to createideas that help the world.

Ben:

Pisces Sun: Pisces are super friendlyand will do anything to help others even if they don’t get anything back(Ben!!!!!!!! Ben!!!!!!). They are very compassionate and gentle with others, I thinkthis is very true for Ben as he is p much always super sweet and understanding withthe losers. Their compassion can sometimes lead to being way too trusting—this canbe a problem bc they could fall in with bad company and hate being criticizedand sometimes views themselves as a victim. I don’t think Ben ever tries to like…capitalize on being a victim or anything but I think he does feel that waysometimes especially in regards to Bill/Bev, but he understands that’s her owndecision, again being very compassionate and not expecting anything out of hisactions. Sometimes their strong emotions can manifest in negative ways, likebeing scared, sad, and feeling misunderstood—they also can cry p easily (Ben criesquite a bit for his friends like in the sewers and his own romantic feelingsand stuff). They are super romantic and love unconditionally. They are also quiteintuitive, I think this makes sense (in tandem with the romanticism) withthings like kissing Bev to save her, understanding where to look into stuff inregard to the pennywise bullshit, etc.

Taurus Moon: We’ve talked aboutthis a bit with Mike, but I think Ben is also a Taurus Moon! LunarTaureans are very sentimental and have deep, strong emotions. They are vromantic and hang on to their relationships, both platonic and romantic, (thepostcard…….) they want a devoted and committed relationship that providessecurity. Those with their moon in Taurus really invest a lot in their friendships,I think friendship is one of if not the most important thing to Ben so thismakes a lot of sense to me. There’s a line in one of the sites I looked at thatfeels SO Ben to me: “Taurus moon sign energy has two speeds: relaxed andcontented […] or hyped-up and ready to charge”. That totally reminds me of howBen is usually p chill and easy going but when the people he loves arethreatened he goes crazy to protect them (the rock war scream and him going crazyduring that LGKNNRG and fighting pennywise, etc). While Mike’s affinity for luxuryis more like…. Kitschy clutter trash GLNRG, I think Ben’s interest in architecturefeels v luxurious and the importance of a home base makes sense for him. TaurusMoons also like to gather all the facts first—this makes sense in how heapproaches his friendships/relationships but also other things like investigatingDerry.

Libra Rising: Let’s go diplomatic romanticslet’s goooooooooo!!! Libras want harmony and are therefore good mediators, theywant everyone to have a good time and are good at teamwork. I think this makessense for Ben and can especially be seen in scenes like the reunion dinnerwhere he tries to calm everyone down and let Mike be heard. They are persuasivebut often do so with a ‘nice guy’ approach rather than like Charm andConfidence like Leo/Aries. Again, Libra Risings are SUPER romantic and havegood intuition, they usually know when they have a chance with someone and willcreate an ideal vibe for their relationships to bloom. They like to plan aheadfor the future with their loved ones (hello argument scene where he’s like imgonna be 30 and far away from here). They also feel like they need anotherhalf, which i think is true for romance but also just like. He needs hisfriends and really loves/cares about them. Those with their rising in Libraalso really care about home aesthetics and having a balanced space, again I thinkaiding in his architecture career.

Eddie

Sagittarius Sun: Tbh, I was v tornbetween sag and scorpio for Eddie’s sun, but I think Sagittarius best describeshis sun and Scorpio for his emotional self. Sagittarians are curious and fullof energy, and they value freedom (hello let Eddie be free!!!!!!). They can besuper impatient and tactless with some of the things they say, which is a veryEddie thing to me lernrgge. Furthermore, they can get angry pretty quickly aswell, and often talk quickly too (Eddie speaks so fucking fast and snaps easilyat everyone erglknegr). They also have good senses of humor; they like to teaseothers. Those with sun in Sagittarius are dedicated to their friends and arewilling to do anything… like defy their awful mother and crawl through a sewerwith a broken arm to fight a murderous clown. Sometimes they have blind faithin others, which I think could be translated to his relationship with Bill andto a more intense and negative respect, his mother. Sags want to find knowledgeand understand other people’s beliefs, and they are very vocal about their own,even to the point of exaggeration (like every single rant Eddie goes on LMAO).They also like sports which like LET EDDIE RUNNNN. Also, not to be a reddie butin looking at compatibility with the signs Gemini/Sag fit so much better forthem and made a lot of sense to me.

Scorpio Moon: Those with theirmoon in Scorpio are very emotionally intense and can be quite dramatic. Thiscan allow them to be quite perceptive of the emotions of others. However, theyare very good at hiding their own emotions because they often disprove of themand deny that they are motivated by their strong emotions. (hello repressedEddie). This helps Scorpio moons feel in control, but it can be detrimental. Ireally love this line from Mo’s book: “you must learn to let go emotionally andfeel your pain, and through the experience expand your phenomenalability to love”. Yup lover!!!! Scorpio moons are also very determined andpersistent…. fighter eddie!! Lover and fighter eddie!!! This made me kinda sad,but it says that there’s usually sorrow/trouble in the lives of Moon-Scorpiosand those are often tied to family and health… :/ and that they think ofescapist fantasies to cope with that. Scorpio moons are sensual but thestereotype of ~super sexy scorpio~ is kind of misleading. They have huge trustissues and don’t want to be controlled (oop… also they usually get married multipletimes lmao), it takes a lot for them to be trusting in love but when they do it’sa very deep love.

Virgo Rising: Those with theirrising in Virgo are BIG worriers and are super analytical, they often noticetiny details. (Maybe a dumb thing but Eddie is always the first to notice whenone of their friends is gone in the sewers, also in more funny and little wayslike him sniffing Ben’s perfume—that also ties in with his Sag curiosity imo).However, even though they notice details and can be intuitive, they miss out onemotional nuances. Sometimes they can be a little too forward and matter offact with people—I think Eddie speaks before he thinks a lot LKRG and can saysome rude shit sometimes without realizing it. (Ik this is kinda like my own stuffbleeding through but in general I think Eddie can be oblivious to other’semotions LRNGKNLG). They are very critical—often towards themselves, they areinsecure and beat themselves up over just about every little thing they do (SUCHan Eddie thing to me). Furthermore, they are guarded with their emotions untilthey have analyzed the situation and feel comfortable (again. Very Eddie tome). This often means they come off as timid and at times cold/stand-offish,which I think in new situations or times when Eddie’s unsure (aka has not analyzedeverything and feels unsafe whether physically or with his emotions), he tendsto draw in on himself and stay quiet. (But, then, his fire Sag side comes burstingout when he just can’t take it anymore and goes bonkers LKGRNG). Virgo risingsare organized and care about hygiene and cleanliness and are very in tune withtheir body (of course, Eddie’s obsession with cleanliness and hygiene/healthhas a lot to do with his mother’s abuse, but I also think there are some parts withinhim inherently who care about those things, it just got exacerbated in anextremely negative way bc of his mother). Interestingly, Virgo risings are veryenergetic, often with nervous energy, and have a hard time staying still—this feelsvery Eddie to me, his pacing and emphatic hand gestures, etc.

Richie:

Gemini Sun: Geminis are superwitty and funny and love to have a grand ol’ chaotic time with their friends,but then can turn serious suddenly. Oftentimes they feel restless and feel likethey are missing their other half so to speak (the yearning… the emo moments…).They’re very sociable and hate being alone, they love to entertain others, theyare strong communicators. Their love for communication often means they feelthe need to talk A LOT, even to strangers. (Trashmouth Tozier always talking!—Mopointed out that Richie’s talking is so bad that they had to create a separate phase,beep beep, just to be like We Seriously Want You To Shut Up, which I thinkmakes sense for all his placements bc they’re all like. One’s where the person talksso fucking much GRLNRG my annoying king

Gemini Moon: Yup double geminilove this obnoxious legend!!! (jk I like geminis but. It’s true. I am also sayingthis as a gemini moon). A lot of the stuff about his sun can be applicable herebut I’ll add on bc I am incapable of shutting up (the gemini moon of it all…) Thisis from Mo’s book again, I’ll just add some commentary/examples as to why Ithink it fits with Richie: Gemini moons are mutable and erratic. they have anactive mind, and imaginative and creative personality, and are inclined to intellectualpursuits. they have extraordinary quick sensory impressions of the outsideworld and they rapidly sift through info in their minds to make judgements.fast learners, high iqs probably , good critics and have the ability to bothanalyze and verbalize (despite some fanon interpretations, Richie is actually reallysmart, he’s good at math/science, I believe he’s also into politics later in college?).they have great charm. conversations with gemini moons tend to go off onunexpected tangents and take sudden turns and reverse (This feels SO Richie tome lekrnglenr). at heart, a lunar gemini is essentially restless and needsconstant stim (Makes sense for Richie for me, also with his ADHD, he needs tobe playing video games or reading a comic or doing this and that, he hatedhaving to be look out and do nothing for like an hour ergklnerg). lunargemini's are always mentally assessing their feelings. they tend to dissecttheir feelings and emotions to analyze why they think or behave in a certainway. they're quick witted and vibrant and can change their minds often. inemotional relationships they display a free spirit, going on the whims of theother person's emotions. at times their talent can be isolated because theylose interest in this quickly and drop their projects. they perform well whenin a relationship with someone practical and hardheaded (inch resting……..)

Pisces Rising: Taking some morestuff from Mo’s book, these lines I think really resonate with Richie’s outwardself and how he deals with the world: “You want life to be perfect and since itisn’t, you choose not to see what you don’t want to see”. That is SUCH a Richiething to me. “At parties Rising-Pisceans are vivacious and verbal (sometimesyou talk too much); you enjoy performing in front of a group. A talent formimicry makes many Pisces Ascendants turn to theater”. Literally Richie… the Voices,the talking too much and wanting to entertain the losers…. Those with Piscesrising are also very romantic and want to live a fantasy life, but they can bevery sad and moody especially because they feel like they are destined to bealone. (Richie yearning gay….) They are also quite disorganized but work wellin groups (let’s go loserssss clubbbbbb!!!).

[creativitymouth]

The World Forgetting by The World Forgotten Pt.5

A/N - This is a wild ride and it’s going to keep going up. Thanks again for the support. 

Summary: (Y/N) would do anything for her friends including strumming around in sewage. AgedUp!SlowBurn!RichieTozierxFem!Reader. 

Trigger Warning: Language, Depressive Themes, Mentions of Neglect and Abuse. 

Chapter 5

The Barrens

If you could have, you would have given into primal instinct and eaten Beverly as though you were a Zombie. Maybe even turned her so she would have to spend her days walking the earth and listening to you scold her about privacy, that’s how upset you were. Bev had walked in on you and Richie asleep together on your bed that morning and decided that making a huge scene out of nothing was called for.

“Shit!” Beverly yelled causing Richie to stir. “Oh, shit fuck, fucking shit, are you guys wearing clothes?” Richie’s eyes had shot open as he moved to sit up. “Do not move if you aren’t wearing anything Tozier! I swear!”

“I’m wearing clothes for fucks sake Beverly Marsh, calm down.” He grumbled, still slightly exhausted. Richie couldn’t figure out what the big deal was. Sure, he was sleeping next to the girl he loved, in her bed but that didn’t seem like enough to make Marsh act like she’d seen a pig anus. That’s when he noticed that you were basically under him as he slept on his stomach, your hand balled into his shirt and his arm thrown across his waist. His eyes widened, and it was his turn to swear. “Oh shit.” He mumbled. Yeah if he walked on anyone in this position he would have acted the same way.

“Shh,” you mumbled groggily, “don’t go. Sleep more. Warm.” Your hands tightened on his shirt and he stiffened.

“Holy shit.” He said again, not sure what else to do as he stared at your sleeping figure.

“I’m never going to let her live this down.” Your eyes snapped open at the sound of Beverly's voice. A second ago you had been sure it was just part of a dream but now you shot up so quickly that Richie almost fell off the bed.

“Beverly?” Your face reddened at the thought of the position you had been in, and the fact that you had spoken out loud and not in your head.

“Is it time for me to clap and say finally?” Bev asked, and you missed Richie frantically mouthing no as he shook his head behind you.

“What?” You asked as you rubbed your eyes. You looked down at Richie who was just beginning to sit up.

“Nothing.” Richie stated grumpily. “Your best friends just a fucking weirdo.” You pushed him gently on the shoulder.

“She’s my favorite weirdo.” You chuckled awkwardly, still unsure of how you and Richie had found yourselves in that position. “My favorite weirdo, who I still don’t know why she’s here.”

“Oh!” She stated, still staring at Richie strangely. “Well, I figure while you're off with the losers I could stay in my room and when you come back we could have fun.” Beverly wiggled her eyebrows at her last statement. Her idea of fun always ended with you waking up with a headache and a sore throat.

“Her room?” Richie asked.

“Yeah she has a room here. It used to be the guest bedroom, but since she’s here so often my parents let her turn it into her own personal room.”

“Those money bags are good for something.” She stated. “Well, I’ll leave you two to,” she stopped glancing between you and Richie, “whatever the hell is happening here.” She walked away, and you soon heard the bedroom door close behind her.

“So.” You said awkwardly, tapping your leg.

“Yeah.” He smirked at you. “We should probably get ready to go.” You nodded, getting up to grab his leather jacket from a chair in the far corner of the room. He raised his eyebrows.

“You mind?”

“Not at all.”

Now, you were swimming in Richie’s leather jacket, swimming in your thoughts, and walking through the barrens behind Billy to some unknown destination. You couldn’t stop yourself from thinking about Richie and the could have been. Beverly was starting to get into your head. You couldn’t seem to shake the feeling of being curled up to him. For Richie it was no different, maybe worse seeing you were wearing his jacket. He desperately wanted you to know how he felt, and now he felt a glimmer of hope that you felt the same with the way. Hope was a dangerous thing and often led to heartbreak or miscommunication, but Richie decided to hold on as he recalled the feeling of your tiny fists pulling on his shirt.

“Are you in pain?” Richie asked suddenly as he made his way over to you.

“What?”

“Yeah, you know they say the fall from Heaven is pretty painful. So, I was wondering if you were okay after it.” Your face flushed bright red as you sputtered, Richie smirking down at you.

Yeah, he thought to himself, this might work. Richie was about to say something else when Stan cut him off.

“That's poison ivy.” Stan said brushing past you and pointing at a plant. “And that's poison ivy.” He continued. “And that's poison ivy.”

“Where?” You asked following behind to look at where Stan was pointing. Stepping in poison ivy, though trivial when compared to your long list of other problems, was not something you wanted to do. You always hated the feeling of being itchy and noted the lack of calamine lotion that you had at home.

“Where's the poison ivy?” Eddie cut in now, beginning to grow frantic. Where you dreaded poison ivy just for the fact of being uncomfortable, Eddie saw all the possible Long-Term Effects of poison ivy map themselves out in his head.

“Nowhere, not every fucking plant is poison ivy Stanley.” Richie said shaking his head as you Stan and Eddie all crowded around some plants.

“Ok well I'm starting to get itchy now and I'm pretty sure this is not good for me.” Eddie said looking back at Richie as he started to scratch himself. It was as if his skin was crawling just from the mention of the poisonous plant. His brain couldn’t stop itself from imagining a scenario where he fell face first, mouth opened, and swallowed some of it. That would mess up his digestive tract, and possibly his lungs maybe even leading to death. Subconsciously Eddie found himself reaching in his fanny pack to take a puff of his inhaler.

“It’s in your head Eddie Spaghetti.” You pat him on the shoulder gently, though you were sort of unsure. Stanley was good at plant recognition.

“I don’t know.” Eddie seemed worried, though he put down the respirator.

“Do you use the same bathroom as your mother?” Richie asked him. You turned to look at Stan and Bill who continued to walk towards what looked like the sewers. Your stomach turned, you were wearing jellies again which weren’t made for sewer water. Bill had not said anything about going to the sewers. You grumbled angrily under your breath but continued to follow behind him.

“Sometimes, yeah.”

“Then you probably have crabs.” You giggled slightly at the comment made by Rich.

“That's so not funny. Tell him (Y/N).”

“Not getting involved.” You raised your hands in the air before stopping next to Stan as Richie and Bill went ahead into the sewer.

“Aren't you guys coming in?” Bill turned around looking from You to Stan to Eddie.

“Yeah, just,” you looked at Stan seeing as he was the bigger of the two boys next to you. “Give me your shoes Stanley.”

“What?”

“I’m wearing Jellies and if I go in there with these on, I actually will get an infection.” You looked at him with large pleading eyes. He sucked his teeth at your expression before looking away and back into the sewers.

“Then what will I -”

“My jellies.” You smiled at him. He blanched for a few moments, looking around at the other losers. No one made any attempt to help him and he sighed.

“Oh, for fucks sake, fine.” You beamed as he grumbled swear words under his breath. He hands you the white converse and then steps on top of your blue jellies so that his feet aren’t touching the ground. He was marveled by how small your feet were. He might have well been standing on the floor, the jellies didn’t support any harsh movements.

“Stan the Man!” You say teasingly as you put his shoes on and walk inside of the sewer. Stan lets out another loud audible sigh as he watched his white converse turn into a murky grey. You were stumbling in the too large shoes, unable to walk properly. Richie grabs your arm to keep you from falling face forward into the water, and his other hand holds a flashlight. Eddie doesn’t miss this and smirked to himself before coming back to the problem at hand.

“That's greywater.” Eddie said looking at you all moving around inside the sewer. You didn’t have a task, so you hung back next to Richie, giving Bill the occasional glance.  

“What the hell is greywater?” Richie asked.

“It's basically piss and shit.” Eddie continued, as Stan watched you ruin his converse. He wondered how he was going to explain the mess to his Dad. “So, I'm just telling you…” Eddie watched as you took the flashlight from Richie's hand. “You guys are splashing around in millions of gallons of Derry pee.”

“Are you serious?” You asked feeling slightly grossed out. You took note, that Bill wasn’t being very talkative today, maybe it had something to do with the searching for Georgie. Or maybe it was the recurring arguments with his parents. Suddenly, Richie picks up a stick and fishes in the water for some soggy material before pointing it in Eddies direction.

“Doesn't smell like caca to me, Señor.” You laughed out loud at Richie, who turned to you with a mischievous smile on his face.

“O-o-okay I can smell it from here.” Eddie backed away, his hand on Stan's upper arm.

“It's probably just your breath wafting back into your face.” Richie added.

“Have you ever heard of a staph infection?”

“I'll show you a staph infection.” Richie shoved the stick towards Eddie again causing you to laugh more.

“That's so unsanitary.” Stan muttered, uncomfortable on top of your jellies. He would never be able to understand how you could walk around in those shoes all day.

“These...” Eddie paused taking in a small breath. “You guys are like swimming in a toilet bowl right now.” Eddie continued, not letting up on his point about the dirty sewer. “Have you ever heard of listeria?

“Guys!” Bill yelled out suddenly, indicating he found something. All eyes turned to him, watching silently as he lifted a dirty sneaker. You inhaled a deep breath, fear stirring in your stomach.

“Shit.” Richie commented, his saucer eyes growing larger. “Don't tell me that's…”

“No. Georgie was wearing galoshes.” Bill responded, and you exhaled in relief before another question plagued you.

“Whose sneaker is it?” Bill opened it up to show you the initials inside.

“It's Betty Ripsom’s.”

“Shit!” Richie said again.

“Shit, oh god, oh fuck” Stan was inching away from the sewer opening, his face turning sickly green. He was nervous, you all were. There was a missing girls shoe in the fucking sewer. You were all only 16, and you weren’t the fucking scooby gang.

“I don't like this.”

“How do you think Betty feels,” Richie snapped suddenly, “going around these tunnels with only one fucking shoe.”

“What if she's still here?” You whispered quietly, looking down the tunnel. Wondering if maybe Betty Ripsom was feeling as alone right now as you found yourself feeling at night.

“My mom will have an aneurysm if she finds out we were playing down here.” All the boys looked at Eddie, but you suddenly felt a pull. You started to slowly walk past Bill, to hopefully find the lonely Betty Ripsom, a kindred spirit. Find me, find me, find me. Echoed in your head as your heart began to beat rapidly. You could have sworn you saw a singular red balloon floating in the dark. “I'm serious.” You squinted still inching forward slightly towards the balloon. You hadn’t noticed how far you were going.

“(Y/N)?” Stan said your name suddenly and you stopped moving. Your lashes fluttered as you turned around to look at the boys. You wanted to ask if they had seen the strange balloon as well.

“If I were Betty Ripsom, I would want us to find me. Georgie too.” Bill said without stutter. You glanced at the balloon one more time wondering its significance. The balloon popped causing you all to jump and you quickly walked back to the group. The sewer was now accompanied by an eerie feeling, the balloon almost like an omen. You weren’t the only one who felt it, it had creeped the entire group out.

“What if I don't want to find them?” Richie said, and Bill looked crestfallen. Balloons didn’t just find their way into sewers. “I mean, no offense, Bill, but I do not want to end up like,” he paused considering his next words, “I don't want to go missing either.” Only that wasn’t Richie's real fear, he had seen you inching farther down the sewer pipe towards the impossible balloon, though he had chosen not to say anything. He was afraid your hero complex and curiosity would cause you to be one of the next missing kids. And Richie wouldn’t survive that.

“He has a point.” Eddie said.

“You too?” You looked at Eddie pointedly, the voices in your head quieting down enough to engage in conversation. You wanted to continue down the sewage pipe, find Georgie and Betty Ripsom and bring them back to the souls that were lost when they went missing.

“It's summer.” Eddie looked away from your prying eyes guiltily. “We're supposed to be having fun. This isn't fun. This is scary,” Eddie shuddered glancing once more at where the balloon had been “and disgusting.”

“Guys, what if it was one of us who went missing? Wouldn’t you do anything to find them again?” The 3 fearful boys looked away. “I know I would, I know Bill would.” They didn’t say anything, choosing to stay quiet. “Richie?” Richie looked up, making eye contact with you finally. He thought of you going missing, and his stomach churned.

“Fuck,” he sighed “yeah, I would.”

“Okay so -” Your voice cut off as a splash was heard. The losers club all glanced at each other before scattering to the edge of the sewer. You gasped when you saw Ben bleeding out into the small river.

“Holy shit, what happened to you?” Richie asked.

“Ben!” You screeched running down towards him. “Benjamin Hanscom, what happened?” The boys all look at you then at each other, since when did you have friends outside of them and Beverly? How did you even know this kid?

“Since when does she have a life outside of us.” Richie grumbled to Stan who just shrugged.

“Richie!” You yelled, and Richie jogs down towards you. “Lift him up, we’re taking him to the pharmacy.” Richie groans causing you the glare at him. “All of us!”

“Wait,” Stan whined as you shifted Ben and tried to get Richie to carry him, “(Y/N), wait, my shoes!”

The pharmacy visit, was to say the in the least, frustrating. Richie and Stan argued for a good 10 minutes about who would have to drive Ben, eventually it was settled on Richie since his car was already banged up. You had forgotten to give Stan his converse back and he had scolded you for allowing the bottom of his feet to blister. When you finally reached the pharmacy, Richie and yourself helped Ben out before letting him sit on the ground, he wasn’t speaking his eyes wide with trauma. What a terrible way to start life in a new town. Eddie had ranted on and on about Aids not realizing that he was making Ben feel worse, the poor kid didn’t want Aids. It was bad enough that Bowers had managed to carve a small H into Ben’s stomach, if he’d given him Aids on top of that. Well, then his luck was more than just sour.

“But how do you amputate waist?” Eddie had asked, but you yelled at him to shut up telling him that he was going to give Ben nightmares. Eddie was annoyed but continued to try and play doctor until Billy suggested that they go buy something from the pharmacy. You volunteered to go with them since you had money on you, leaving Ben with Richie but not before telling Richie not to say anything crude or insulting. You guys had been picking up different supplies when Beverly strolled into the pharmacy. She saw you and walked over.

“New kid outside looks like someone killed him.” Beverly spoke as she watched you counting the money in your hand. “What happened to him?” You’d barely looked up when she approached you. You knew her smell and voice anywhere and it made it impossible for her to catch you off guard.

“Bowers.” You responded shaking your head. The boys had stopped scouring for supplies, instead all turning to gawk at Bev. “What are you doing here, you’re supposed to be waiting for me at the house.”

“You took too long.” She shrugged before looking at the boys behind you and smiling. They all turned into cherry tomatoes. “You’re going to spend all that money on supplies?”

“I had planned on it.” Your eyebrows crinkled as you looked at her, she had a mischievous twinkle in her eye and you suddenly understood how Richie and she became friends. Devious bastards. “No Bev.”

“Yes Bev.” She smiled at you before taking the money from your hand and shoving it into your back pocket. She took you by the hand and dragged you over to Mr. Keene, who looked up with interest. The boys all stared in wonder, they rarely saw you do something that you considered morally wrong. But Bev, well she brought out that dark curiosity you had. “I like your glasses, Mr. Keene. You look just like Clark Kent.” She spoke with a slight lilt in her voice, wrapping an arm around you with a smile on her face. A spark seemed to flare on his face as he watched you both.

Two girls touching, what a show. You thought sarcastically.

“I don’t know about that,” You said under your breath. Bev gave your shoulder a light squeeze and you had to stop yourself from biting her hand.

“Why thank you.” He responded.

“Can we try them on?” Your eyebrows spiked, the last thing you wanted was to have his glasses on your face. Who knew what perverted things he watched with them.

“You guys sure do everything together.” He licked his lips and you did everything you could not to turn over and hurl. He reminded you a little too much of Bowers when he was on a hunt to satisfy his primal urges. You didn’t know what it was about some men that made them think all woman belonged to them, or lived to entertain them. “Sure.” Beverly smiled as she took them from Mr. Keene’s hands, you grimaced at the look of pure lust that overcame his face. Bev was the first one to try them on, smiling as she did so. Then she turned to you, touching your shoulders with a gentleness that she knew Mr. Keene would love. She took them off herself and slid them onto you, touching your face in the process. From the corner of your eye you could see Mr. Keene breathing heavily at the action. You had never thought shoulders to be sexual before but obviously Mr. Keene believed otherwise. Bev smiled, leaning in and brushing your nose with the tip of her thumb. Your face scrunched up in agitation, through to Mr. Keene you looked sexually frustrated. Bev was way too smart for this, but after all those years with her father she knew no better way to a dirty mans attention. If they wanted to play games with her she would play games with them.   

“What do you think?” She asked Mr. Keene whose entire face was now red. He stared at Beverly, not sparing you much of a glance since the show was over.

“Well how about that, you looked just like Lois Lane.”

“Really?” She smiled, before reaching towards you again and taking them off your face in the same slow movement. “Well, here you go.” She went to hand them to him but not before knocking over some of his supplies. “Shoot, I'm so sorry.” You turned to the boys and signaled for them to take the supplies and run out of there. In the distraction Beverly also took a pack of cigarettes, you made a horrified noise and Beverly smirked.

“It's okay.” Mr. Keene said, with the same disgusting smile. You shook your head before taking Beverly’s hand in yours and walking her out of the pharmacy. “Wait, Beverly –“ You didn’t give her the chance to turn around as you swung the door open and dragged her out.

“He’s gross.” You stated, sparing Bev a disapproving glance.

“Most men are, that’s their downfall.” She smiled. You both stood back and watched as the boys bickered slightly over the proper way to care for Benjamin. The moments that passed were silent and you found yourself lost in your own thoughts. You knew what Bev had said about a man’s downfall was a joke, but you couldn’t help but revel in the truth of that. Offer a man a bite and he might try to take the entire sandwich. Your boys’ parents might have been a lot of things, and none of them good, but at least all their children had turned out to be gentleman. Your eyes landed on Richie and you chuckled slightly. At least in one way or another. Bev nudging you with her elbow when she followed your eyes. “So, Richie?”

“Uh, yeah, Richie.” Your eyebrows raised as she wiggled hers. “Not this again, we’re just friends.”

“Friends who cuddle.”

“We cuddle!” You yelled slightly louder than you would have liked, causing the boys to all turn back to look at you.

“I’d love to see that.” Richie spoke up eyeing you and Bev. “Girl on Girl action.” You rolled your eyes, of course Tozier would.

“Beep Beep Richie.” Stan interrupted causing Richie to chuckle. Bev smirked at you and your cherry red face before making her way over to the bustling scene with you in tow.

“Are you okay, that looks like it hurts.” She asked Ben whose expression softened on seeing her.

“No, I'm good. I just fell.”

“Yeah, right into Henry Bowers.” Richie smirked, also noticing Ben's lovestruck expression.

“Shut it, R-R-Richie!”  Bill interrupted clearly embarrassed, and that’s when it hit you.

Shit, fuck, super fucking shit. Bill and Ben both like Beverly. Fucking hell. This is not going to end well under any intents and purposes. You thought.

“Why? It's the truth.”

“It’s cool,” You interrupted, “I already filled her in.”

“You sure they got The Right Stuff to fix you up?”

“You know w-w-w-w-we'll take care of him.” Bill spoke smiling softly at Beverly. “How’d y-you get a chance to d-distract Mr. Keene long en-en-enough for us to leave?”  

“We made out.” Beverly said, and your eyes widened in horror. “Mr. Keene is a big fan of girl on girl action.”

“Woah.” Richie mumbled as all the boys now stared at you in interest. Though sexuality wasn’t a topic that they really brought up, all the boys had their assumptions about yours. Bi, maybe? That was the long running bet.

“Yeah, my tongue was basically shoved down her throat.” Bev nudged you, as she watched Richie to see if he grew jealous. No such expression ever came, he seemed intrigued. Richie settled with the fact that if he lost your love to Beverly he could cope. You guys had crossed the line of friendship when you’d begun showering together. “She loved every second of it.”

“That,” you paused glancing around you, “That did not happen!” You were sure your face was on fire. “Beverly, tell the truth!”

“It could.” She shrugged, laughing at the different expressions. Richie’s especially. “Maybe I'll see you losers around.” She spoke to the guys.

“You're not coming over tonight.” You pouted, and she shook her head. “You said we’d spend the night together.” The boy’s expression once again became curious.

“Woah.” Richie said again.

“Not like that you fuck!” You yelled at them, embarrassed. As Beverly began to back away, Bill snapped into action.

“Yeah, we were maybe thinking about going to the q-q-q-quarry tomorrow,” He rushed out, if you want to…” he paused looking at you, “Come?” Beverly opened her mouth to say something, but you were quick to respond.

“She’ll be there!” Bev smiled, shaking her head at you. A smile plagued Bills face as he nodded before walking back to the group. “You want a ride home?”

“Nah, I rather walk.” You pouted again. “Plus, you should stick with your boys.” You turned around looking at the group Bill had just joined. They were arguing, and bustling about. You couldn’t help but smile as your eyes landed on a laughing Richie. Bev noticed this but decided against saying anything, for now.

“They are my boys aren’t they.” You said looking back a smile still on your face. “Soon they’ll be yours too Beverly Marsh.” She shrugged as she whipped out a cigarette, your face scrunched up in disgust as you lunged for it, but she ran off laughing. “Lung cancer isn’t attractive Bevy!” You shook your head as she flashed you a middle finger, before turning back to join your boys.

Taglist!!!

Someone sent me an ask about being apart of my taglist, I answered privately and then lost the name. So if your name isn’t on here I am so sorry and please ask again. 

@glue-lamp @apartofthelosersclub @mikoalabearwrites @fightmebub @toziers-girl @firstfannypack @mysticalreadingnerd @imaginethis-st @snarkpunsandsarcasm @neonshock @mari-melancholy @teenwolf2424 @michaels-hands

[cryingbilldenbrough]

*whispers* I heard this is the place so go to talk about sad Bill Denbrough? So: I wish more people talked about how Depressed Bill is. Like even before IT/after he forgets, he's been bullied all his life for something he can't control (stuttering), he's grieving for his brother, he's dealing with guilt over Georgie s death, he's dealing with neglect from his parents/them subtly blaming him.. .. why do we not talk about this more?! I cry. More fics and headcanons need to address this ya feel

1. LMAO where did u hear that? i mean you’re right but god i cannot believe my reputation precedes me so much? 

2. ok u wanna talk sad bill denbrough? let’s talk sad bill denbrough!

bill turns 18 on a snowy day in december. 

it’s cold in his dorm room, dusty and hazy with morning light. there’s frost on the windowpane, slanting the light into fractal pieces and bill sits up to brush his finger through the ice. it burns a little, in comparison to skin that’s been bundled up under bill’s three blankets for the entirety of the night, but bill has always loved the cold. 

bill sits up in bed and stretches, shivering and watching his breath waft out of his mouth in a fog. he leans over flicks on the heat, rubbing his hands together.

there’s no fanfare. his roommate must have stayed over at his girlfriend’s house last night because his bed is mussed but empty. there’s no note, no text telling bill he’s coming back later. it’s saturday morning and bill is spending another birthday alone. 

it’s certainly not the first. bill remembers hazily spending a lot of his birthdays on his own, but he can’t quite remember why. was it because his parents were out of town? hmm, that must have been it. there’s no other explanation. 

he finally climbs out of bed, shuffling to the bathroom to jump in the shower. he turns the water as hot as it’ll go but it’s still too cold. the pipes groan and the water pressure is shitty and bill longs for the days when he could take hour-long showers. 

well. it’s less longing and more a want to be back on schedule. because somehow bill remembers taking long showers at least once a week when he lived back home, turning on the water hot enough to steam the entire room in moments and sitting down in the corner of the tub and letting it beat down over him. he doesn’t know how long he used to stay in there, letting the water turn his skin an angry red, but he can almost feel the needling water mixing in with salty tears. he remembers opening his mouth wide and swallowing the burning water from the faucet, hoping to fill himself up, to let the heat enter his body and warm his insides and fill all his nooks and crannies that felt gaping and open. 

bill’s suddenly blinking back tears, assaulted by a sadness he doesn’t understand. 

they’re only there for a moment and then the lukewarm water is washing them away, down the drain. bill finishes his shower with a lingering pain in his chest, a lump in his throat that wont go away no matter how hard he swallows. 

his mom doesn’t call. 

it’s not like bill really expected her to, but he’s disappointed nonetheless. he thinks it maybe would have been nice to hear her voice for the first time in a few months and he’s pretty sure she didn’t forget today was his birthday because it’s his Golden Birthday, turning 18 on the 18th. 

the phone doesn’t ring. it sits on his roommate’s desk and stays silent as bill dresses and brushes his teeth and makes a quick breakfast. 

he tries to linger on getting ready, to convince himself he’s doing anything other than just waiting for his parents to call, but it’s all a lie. it’s nearing noon when bill sighs and gives up, giving the beige rotary phone one last lingering glance before he leaves, locking the door to his cold room behind him. 

he decides to spend the rest of the day in the library. 

the stacks are warm, familiar and bursting with the heavy scent of paper and ink, and bill pulls up a seat at one of the study tables to write. 

the building is empty today, quiet and peaceful on a saturday afternoon. bill climbs up to the second floor, to a balcony that overlooks the entire library. sunlight filters in through large high-up windows and bill borrows a pen from the front desk and cracks open his notebook to work on his latest short story. the balcony is full of students and adults alike, each caught up in their lives, and bill lets their quiet sounds of work soothe him into his own. 

he gets lost in the writing, letting the world around him fade to dull muted tones as he crafts characters and plots and by the time he drifts back to reality the sun has set behind the windows and shrouded the library in flickering fluorescent light. he cracks his knuckles and then his neck and dares to take a peek around at the other patrons.

it’s down to just him and one other boy, a kid with sandy blonde hair who’s tucked in at a desk in the corner. his head is bent over the desk, writing lazily on a set of blueprints and bill wants to get closer, to get involved in the other student’s work but that would be rude and bill doesn’t even know where the thought comes from. 

he’s just about to pack it in, to deem this another saturday wasted and spent alone in his own head when a loud crash from downstairs startles him. he snaps his head up, looking over the side of the balcony down to find the source of the sound. out of the corner of his eye he sees the boy in the corner look to, getting up out of his desk chair in a flash to survey.

the downstairs is quiet. from where bill’s sitting he can see there’s nobody at the front desk, no friendly librarian sitting on a cushy chair and checking in books. 

in fact, the entire building seems empty. it’s a ghost town other than him and the boy in the corner and there’s this uneasy feeling in bill’s stomach, a jolt of fear that feels familiar and damning and so so right at the same time. it’s a rush of adrenaline and memory of the taste of copper in his mouth. 

bill turns to look at the boy and there’s something familiar in his eyes too, a recollection of some sort that bill doesn’t quite get. 

there’s another crash from downstairs, almost like the sound of glass breaking, and bill’s out of his seat now. he walks with purpose towards the edge of the balcony, grabbing hold of the banister with white-knuckle fingers. the other boy is close behind, coming up on bill’s right side to peer over the side. bill feels distantly that it’s right to have this boy at his side, that it’s good and familiar to turn his head and see someone at his shoulder, awaiting command. 

it’s a strange feeling and bill shakes it off. 

he’s just about to ask the boy what he thinks about going downstairs when another sound rings out.

it’s different this time. 

because bill swears he hears a balloon pop. 

it’s an impossible sound, but unmistakable. it’s startling and unexplainable and for some reason fucking terrifying. bill can feel his hands shaking and there’s a trembling on his tongue, the feeling of a silent stutter working its way to the front of his mouth and there’s this split second when bill remembers. 

the clown and the sewers and georgie and his friends and their power and his internal compass is going wild, pointing in all these different directions and bill is disoriented and dizzy and faint and the fluorescent lights seem to be flickering and there’s a draft at the back of his neck that makes all the hair on his skin stand up on end. 

he blinks and the moment is over. the boy at his back is a stranger and the librarian is back sitting behind her desk. bill can see her now, knitting needles in her hands as she hums absentmindedly and when bill tries to recall the sight of the empty chair a moment ago, he comes up empty. it’s like he climbed out of his seat in alarm for no reason. like he imagined the last ten minutes. 

he turns and the boy at his back is gone, retreating down the stairs with heavy bootfalls and bill watches him go with a melancholy kind of feeling, like he missed something. 

bill packs up his stuff, feeling a little ill, and walks home in the cold, feet freezing in his worn boots. 

his roommate is still gone when he gets home, bed made now as if he’s come back in the middle of the day just to make his bed and remind bill how alone he is. 

bill heats up dinner and reads a book and tries not to think about calling home, about dialing his parents’ number and being sent to voicemail and having to stutter out an explanation for his call past the lump in his throat. 

he turns to the bookshelf and grabs down his picture of georgie, the last thing bill has kept from home. it’s old and dusty and the picture is frayed a little in the corner but it’s georgie and bill can’t bring himself to throw it away. he always gets a little teary when he looks at it, a little sad over his brother who was taken too soon in some way that bill cant honestly remember tonight, and this night is no exception. bill runs his fingers over his brother’s gap-toothed smiling face and lets the tears run down his cheeks

“happy birthday, bill,” he whispers to himself, broken and stutter-free and somber. there’s no response, no echo to his spoken pain, and bill falls asleep with tears drying on his cheeks and his brother’s picture sitting on his bedside table. 

send me prompts/headcanons/requests!