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elizabethrobertajones · 7 years

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13x03 watching notes

The Saga Of Dean’s Fluctuating Grief Scruff

Berens has made me cry exponentially more in each of his episodes for a while. At this rate I will cry 6-9 times in this episode, so I really hope we break the streak.

I'm so pumped for this episode.

Hahaha me 10 seconds ago: fuk u berens don't make me cry

recap: how about we paste "goodbye Cas" over the shot of Dean kneeling by dead Cas?

I have returned with my stuffed toy umbreon "taako from eevee" and I have hugs

OH NO Jack recap, pasting Lucifer over him in awful flashes and trying to sell his dark side even though he is a squishy.

WELP they're going right there with the Sam drinking blood parallel with Dean saying when has anything ever gone right for us. Is Jack going to Fuck Up today? Or is that just emotional backstory?

Awww Missouri's BFF. I love her already.

I guess this guy is the wraith. I think I remember him from the promos.

Hey, here's the tarot cards. They're for the MotW

The wraith was in the mirror that's behind them but it didn't show his face all wraith-y. Pfft.

Uhoh, Dean's music is different... Brb need to get a Mittens on the line.

The only word I caught was wall and then we cut to no music and Jack marvelling at the brickwork.

Okay, Mittens told me the song and I looked it up and yeah it's the Rolling Stones and completely romantically neutral.

This is the bit we got:

Mama says yes, Papa says no, Make up you mind 'cause I gotta go. Gonna raise hell at the Union Hall, Drive myself right over the wall.

I almost think it was chosen just because Jack was pawing at the wall.

Jack being fascinated with the bricks in both 13x01 when Sam was ASKING him about the portals between universes, and now when he's just pawing at the bricks reeeally makes me feel like Jack has a fascination with the brick and mortar pattern, like these lines between the solid planes are somehow tickling at whatever deep down cosmic part of himself knows about the portals. If he's still figuring it out or something.

Oh no here's the awful promo that nearly made me cry last night.

I am so sad that Jack's been hiding in his room.

It is adorable how he looks at the data stick, like, getting it's important but totally baffled about HOW and what to DO with it. Sam's starting to take for granted that Jack is a bit more... well, together, than he actually is. The real question is does Sam know he was stabbing himself? That's such a hard thing for Dean to tell Sam, and not betray empathy to Jack - unless he grumpily delivers the news and legs it :P

But yeah, anyway. Sam expecting Jack to be able to do things he can't, maybe starting to take Jack's fast learning for granted when it comes to how he's managed to adapt to burgers and reading and stuff. He's still a 4-5 day old person, and he's never done this before... Sam hands him the USB stick without even stopping to think at first that Jack might not be capable of using it...

*stares at Sam staring at Jack* I think he's feeling deeply sympathetic - I reblogged some meta about how they have a shared experience here but Jack's getting so much more than Sam ever did. Ironically, I was gonna make a parallel to Home, without stopping to think that Missouri is here but let's call it a real meta parallel then - Mary saying even 3 words to Sam in Home was the most Sam had ever seen of her in his entire life and the most words he could remember her saying to him, ever. Of course Mary and Kelly were/are paralleled as mothers, and Kelly to Jack will be a much more pure image because she never did anything dark or made any deals - he's born because she had no idea she was sleeping with Lucifer, so even though Mary was put in an AWFUL place she made the deal with enough accountability she is held responsible for it, and FEELS responsible for it. Since Jack's powers are already being textually paralleled to Sam and his demon blood I think this is an interesting thing to put a pin in.

MIIIISSOURI HELLO

She sounds and looks almost exactly the same. It's been THIRTEEN YEARS what the hell

She looked older in 1x09

maybe it's just the different colour schemes and lighting these days :P

Oh no and we're back to Kelly

Her words are so important in a kind of free will exposition way. She's so proud of him!!!

"YOU HAVE AN ANGEL WATCHING OVER YOU"

I know I sobbed about that in 12x23 a bit but just... the reminder, right now. In this episode where we have been teased that Cas is going to be around again (I miss him so much)... I think it's interesting because Kelly tells Jack that no one can tell him who he can be (which I think may be a problem long term that Sam is interested in moulding him so even TFW aren't a completely safe bet to hang out with for Jack to gain a sense of personhood - he'll have to fly the nest eventually) but then she reminds Jack that an angel is watching over him. Obviously she is a Good Person in the show's narrative, and angels in her perspective are good (because Cas was kind to her) and Cas specifically is AWESOME and this is the reminder that Cas is Jack's father now apparently and all... but it's also setting him aside in a way. I think perhaps Jack needs to come to terms with what Cas is that isn't exactly his FATHER per se but also isn't just the angel on his shoulder, in the exact same way Dean needs to realise Cas isn't his BROTHER per se but also not just the angel on his shoulder. It's that grey area. In Jack's case, it's because a reckoning with Lucifer and understanding the potential darkness in him, or his legacy as being Lucifer's son, can't be ignored. Cas can't be pasted on top of it for his deep down personal understanding, and Kelly mentions the father and Castiel as separate entities. The father doesn't define what Jack is... Cas has a more neutral position, a guiding one... But I think some wires may be crossed with Jack, too, that has given Cas absolute fatherhood in such a way that it's going to be GREAT for Jack to set his moral compass by such a well-meaning good character who seems to want the best for Jack, but it can't be his entire understanding of himself.

...

Sorry for just throwing a Destiel parallel into all that but it fascinates me that tbh Sam is like the only one who doesn't have a complicated relationship with Cas. I guess also Mary got to grips with him around 12x09, but then also didn't have a whole bunch of contact with him... On the other hand in my Christmas fic I haven't even got the remotest idea what it will be about yet but will feature all the current living characters in a fluffy Christmas scenario, I'm pretty much ready for Cas and Mary to be the chillest friends :P

LOL Sam and Dean talking about how long since they saw Missouri "what has it been a decade?" "MORE" Yeah you FUCKS she said to stay in touch. DON'T BE STRANGERS.

That is a cold sweat moment for Dean, like... fuck I haven't ever even sent her a CHRISTMAS CARD

Maybe he sees her name in John's journal sometimes and does send her one.

Awww and Sam was talking to Jody off-screen, which I love because that is my JAM

*badum tish*

Dean is alarmed that Sam handed off the case to her, because he wanted to leave the freaking house and get awaaay from Jack

He's not that concerned about Jody.

I mean, rationally, he knows Jody is the Toughest Cookie they've ever met. She went up against Leviathan WITH AN APPENDECTOMY

But in the immediate here and now? He is PISSED that Sam wants to keep them sequestered away in the Bunker with the one thing he can hardly bear to co-exist with in the same universe.

His stomping off is an End Of moment... Reminded of 9x06 because Berens, but also because in the start of that episode Dean takes the lead from Cas and legs it from researching with Sam and Kevin, and it's like a horrible reverse motivation. Cas is dead and he can't bear to be around that horror and guilt and confusion. He needs the distraction, so off he goes on a solo case, leaving Sam behind. His angry "you got me" when he skips out on research and Kevin thinks he has it all sussed out why Dean is leaving is again a reverse of Dean's self-professed anger at the situation when he knows that Jody will be FINE and of course she's part of their competent hunter network who can handle things probably a hell of a lot better than them, being an actual cop and all. But it makes one hell of an excuse to go. And Dean was in a pissy mood then as well but it was his own fuck up about Gadreel bothering him and his guilt about what he'd done to Cas. So external motivators help him leave. This time it's all internal motivators where he WANTS to leave. So he makes it all happen by getting irrationally angry at Sam.

CORN FIELD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

I know it was most likely just There but hey we have a Turducken slammer poster in the background and corn syrup blah blah, and corn = Cain

Theeeemes, as Mittens says.

JODY JODY JODY

Missouri drops some heeeavy hints about not having family around any more.

She always did love that car. A reminder she's known them basically their entire lives, since The Fire, and she knew the car as both John and Dean's.

Also a handy way to make her a trusted ally and as Mittens says, the car is Dean's soul and Missouri has seen inside him.

HE JUST WANTS HUGS

He heard Missouri and Jody were in the same place and was like FUCK YOU SAM I AM GOING TO COLLECT MY HUGS

But seriously even if he's kinda putting it all on a bit because he's miserable, these people are genuinely cheering him up just to see and he's getting physical comfort from two parental figures to him.

(he's so weird about Jody being a mom figure)

LOL Missouri did the thing

The thing literally every single person said they wanted her to do

he should have hugged Jody first

Is it just me or did she hesitate on "loss" and then add the "es" after a moment of uncertainty? Please tell me one is not drowning out the other I will die.

Although of course, Missouri is a HUGE reminder of the Mary stuff because she comes connected to their home and Dean is having to re-re-confront that and OF COURSE he does it when he's lost Mary AGAIN. And pfft I spent yesterday writing about Jody re-losing her son in 5x15 and having the problem of fresh loss after getting someone back you didn't think you'd ever HAVE back.

I love that we're seeing Missouri's process. She's reaaally spelling out the exposition. But in this case I can trust that that's just because the actual method and knowing that it's a wraith and his MO is just a random detail to all the more important emotional stuff. That this is just some necessary building blocks to get to the good stuff and this is the fastest way to get us there.

Sam immediately starts getting into choppy water and I'm one line into the next scene. He's bringing up training Jack... Sam, we've spent the last 2 weeks talking about how it's not a great idea for you to try and harness him for your own reasons because it will make you look bad to him. Jack needs to trust you!

I'm worried he'll end up thinking that Sam giving him the connection with his mom was just a way to soften him up a bit more to Sam. Like yeah on the surface level it's lovely and shows Sam has been careful and paid attention and collected all the evidence from the house to check if anything will be important for Jack (not the 100s of diapers)... And then found this thing and immediately decided Jack should have it because it would mean so much to him. it's great that he cares so much he did this!!

But yeah putting the scenes back to back is a little uncomfortable because Sam does have motives, and like I said last time out, if Sam HADN'T just lost Mary through a rift Nougat unknowingly opened, he would 100% definitely treat Jack with the exact same care because he is a sweet guy.

But looks bad.

Sam is waving a pencil. He looks like a lecturer.

This is a different part of the Bunker or the library from an angle we never see and this is a new table with a different lamp and I am so horrified, as the Table Meta person, to have a bunch of new stuff to work out and write about :P

This is the Yoda Table for the time being

I suppose it's a new place for a fresh start and, like, virgin territory for meta meaning. Whether it's the store room or the library the important thing is it's DIFFERENT and it's a sort of secluded corner than right out in the middle of the war room or something. It's a sort of private nook kind of feeling. Sam is trying to make a comfortable environment for Jack.

Jack glances at Sam.

Thing is, Asmodeus got him to open a portal to hell by cajoling him, and Sam's asking him to get control of basic things like moving a pencil around. It SEEMS safe and like a good exercise to try and get to grips with his powers and learn finesse and control, and for Jack's sake too. But... Idk, still looks dodgy Sam. I mean I can absolutely and 100% see a surface level where this is adorable and great and Sam has a new friend/nephew, and for the time being I'm enjoying it as it is. But I have this worried feeling that Sam is not going to help Jack emotionally, even if this works in the short term, because Jack has room to be suspicious of what Sam wants, and even if Sam doesn't ask for a while, he has a motivation for Jack to learn to control his powers beyond JUST wanting to help him. I think their dynamic is great and fascinating, but I am worried that from Jack's perspective he won't get the nuance of Sam - Sam needs to open up to him for one thing about his own fuck ups and what Azazel - another yellow eyed demon - did to him.

And Jack glancing at Sam who is watching him so intently is the tension here - can Jack trust Sam when Sam may be just as interested in Jack as Asmodeus was? How can a 5 day old TELL?

James has a super nice house.

Also Missouri is "not supposed to call" but they used a recent calls screen on her phone instead of a contacts list, and James was on it, which means that she HAS been in contact with him recently, and therefore prop department messed it up. The CGI in this episode has made 2 errors already >.>

OH NO JAMES DOESN'T BELIEVE

"it's coming for you and pa-" nooo

WHERE IS PATIENCE

I wanna see her on screeeeeeeeeeeeen

WHAT DID MISSOURI DO TO JAMES?

She was a John parallel in 1x09 and allied with him and withholding epic amounts of plot info that only she knew what could have been everything up to and including end of season 2 reveal stuff. Her powers make her kind of a disaster friend tbh. Like, great at a party but if you don't believe your mother has visions and is, idk, hysterical or something, then OH BOY that makes for some family trauma. We'll see how this shakes out but right now James at least is successful and rich and has nooothing to do with his mother even though he may potentially be psychic and repressed about it himself, since the wraith will be coming for him and Patience, and we know SHE is.

I kinda don't wanna make a parallel where she's the bad parent and fucked up her son who has repressed his powers because oh boy he's got like a Dean Smith level apartment and this is a can of worms I can't be bothered to delve into when Patience might be on screen soon.

Dean "yes ma'am"'d Missouri because everything is awful, because he'd "yes sir" John and oh god. Ow.

Jody is watching like "what the hell sort of dynamic have I missed here?"

She has been taking notes on these boys for years and she still doesn't know anything about them. I was thinking the other day watching 5x15 that when she meets them they're in Fed get up and they bluster at her like they're the authorities when she first challenges them, until she calls Bobby and sees through it and calls their crap. But something something defensive retreat into surface level clam shell around Jody, re: she had no idea Dean went to Purgatory, was a demon, or that Mary had come back to life, just for STARTERS.

I wonder if Missouri commenting on the car was a tie back to John as well specifically in her alignment. This season is all about fathers and without an actual John for Dean to deal with, bringing Missouri back as a John figure... eep

Meanwhile Jack is still squinting at a pencil and calling himself useless, so I think Sam is about to climb on his back and make him run through a swamp while beating him with a stick

(dear god I hope every single one of you has watched Empire Strikes Back)

Jack's catchphrase is "I don't -" he just doesn't understand. He doesn't KNOW.

Asmodeus was "in his head"

Holy shit and then Sam suggests Jack try that and Jack snaps back at him because HOLY SHIT SAM CAN YOU HEAR HOW BAD THIS SOUNDS?

You really can't, because you think you are doing a good thing but USB STICK, SAM. USB STICK.

Asmodeus was a master manipulator who made Jack want to do a thing so badly and used all the right words to make him do exactly what he wanted. Sam is nice enough not to brainwash Jack like see the pencil, be the pencil dramatics... But asking Jack to remember one of his many traumatic experiences? Noooo don't do it.

This is a very bad plan, Sam.

Anyway also Jack confirms how Asmodeus manipulated him and shows his innocence and also his feelings on what happened - how horrible it was for him to go through it, and, well, he was 3 days old and he got tricked and he has no emotional touchstones to handle this sort of thing :(

And Sam is just being way too rigorous - we take a break, he gets some food, then he'll come back and we try again? Nooo Sam.

(btw I have to say I have been saying over and over that Berens writes my favourite Sam, and this is indeed Berens making Sam absolutely fascinating, although I have to repeat, as a totally flawed and messed up person. No one was ever there for Sam to guide him through what he could do. He didn't even know how he moved that wardrobe the one time he did telekinesis... He's completely lost and trying to handle this alone and with a lot to prove because Dean's snapped at him and stormed off, and he wants Mary back... He's being like Dean - angry and taking it out on Jack - but in Sam's chill, deep under the surface way, and of course like Dean can spare smiles and hugs for Jody and Missouri, he still can have a kind and well-meaning surface layer just like Dean can have a happy one. But bring on the frustration and he slips and says the wrong things and now he's acting like a strict teacher....)

Jack's face that was cast to be both perfectly scowly and perfectly cute is now being used to be very scary and scowly.

OH NO MISSOURI!!!

She was badass and defiant to the end but it's still sad and we knew it was coming because, well... I swear there was spoiler chatter that Patience and Missouri would meet, but I suppose it's more like Patience is going to find out about her grandma and have to learn about her that way...

I mean the whole point of Wayward Sisters so far has been Jody collecting orphaned girls and she has a living father and until this point Missouri, so she has to end up in a way where Jody is now the only guiding light she has

but bleeeeeeeh.

ANYWAY like passing the baton, we get the last scene of Missouri (making a stand) and move to Patience.

HELLO NEW MAIN CHARACTER

She's a neeeerd

I love her

She is good at volleyball because she's psychic

heee wonder woman comparison. Blah blah meta from when Dean owned being wonder woman.

Her athletic friend looks nerdy and she describes her as being a bookworm athlete because Patience looks cool and athletic (she's very tall or her friend is short...) so there's 2 false binaries here: the nerd and athlete one where you can only be one or another. Her friend with the massive glasses and fringe (bangs?) is nerd-coded. And Patience carrying around her files but secretly being good at sports is the direct opposite... I like this imagery, no prizes for guessing where else I apply it :P

All the lights are flickering... It would be hilarious if SHE was causing it, just because monsters don't do that...

I think she is having a vision.

OH it was a dream, cool. (We're really expanding what psychics can do all of a sudden, because we're about to send 2 of them off into Wayward Sisters. If Kaia and Patience can hang out in dreams, that would be AWESOME. I bet visiting Patience's dream landscape once she has her powers under control would be amazing, if 8x08 and Fred's inner mind is anything to go off of :P)

Also OH NO poor Missouri. She's used her death as an omen for Patience, like, basically just because her father won't talk to her. I mean talk about spite, she's right in the John Winchester model of family, like, well guess I'll just DIE then, and get Patience to deal with this for me :P

Getting back to those flashing lights, also, even though it was just a dream, I do think it was interesting because Jack blew all those lights. I think it's a sign of losing control as much as a display of power - if we go from 4x01 and Cas doing it, it was just because raw power on display. In 13x01 for Jack it's both that and loss of control. For Patience it's the sign of the supernatural creeping up on her but also she loses control of her dream environment and Missouri invades it to send her the warning...

James has something on his screen about crude oil. He's probably like a stocks and shares guy or something. This house is ridiculous. Patience is going to be the rich kid on the team, and probably adjusting to the gross gritty life of being a hunter :P

Ooh she did recognise Missouri - so the contact wasn't broken off THAT long ago.... I say remembering how I thought she hadn't changed at all since season 1 :P

James doesn't give anything away about her phoning like, yesterday. He looks baaad about it.

Don't lie to kids about their powers and heritage...

I say side-eyeing Sam for not getting into the exact thing with Lucifer I was blah-ing on about at the top of this episode. Which is probably not helping Jack understand and control his powers

Oh noooo Dean at a Gas n Sip

hearing about the murder on the TV OH NO

I got to ask why it's night at the fortune teller's and day where Dean is.

Singer directed this and I'm up to 3 boo boos of the wraith not being in the mirror, the phone breaking the story, and the wrong time of day in the footage on TV so I'm just gonna side eye and move on. Maybe he's having an off week when he made this or something because when he's not directing Eugenie's scripts he's normally competent.

Knock Knock hello James

Wait, Dean has got massively more scruffy between scenes.

HE HAS - I WENT BACK AND LOOKED

Is this a continuity about them driving all night?

I am loving the look. Gimme more of the season 9 look Dean.

They are kinda treating James like he knows and cares about monsters, when really he's a stock guy with a fancy house. Wrong approach, but telling the absolute truth. Dean, again, not sugar coating it. Jody has to step in and help with comforting sounding words about the truth. She, also, doesn't even mention she's a cop and is acting very much as Dean's partner on the hunt rather than a cop.

Patieeence. At school with her friend, who is badgering her about hot boys. Patience relucantly says okay fine he's hot. *wonders exactly how gay she is* Probably not with a huuuge crush on her friend but we'll see :P No one can be that "ugh" about the entire concept.

Patiiiience. She's been ACTIVATED.

The fact she had a couple of pencils sticking out of something in her locker just makes me think that over on the other side of the story Sam is trying to activate Jack's powers via a pencil.

AAAH

HAHAHAHA She's awesome!!!

And she snaps the gross wraith spike off with like 0% of the fuss Dean made.

I LOVE the shot of Dean rushing down the stairs to follow the wraith... I also love that Jody is now united with Patience, and she's gonna glom onto her and drag her into her spiiiiin offffffffff

After all the fuss I'm making that better get picked up or I'm rioting.

Dean nearly gets hit by a blue van - hey, monsters in blue vans? 8x18, that time when Dean was like "what, my feelings????" when Sam asked him how he was, and then there was that creepy Metatron sweater dude being a terrible stand-in father for Krissy in like the dark timeline version of what Wayward Sisters is promising to become.

Bah Dean shaved again... Get the continuity together!!

Ohh no Patience thinks Missouri doesn't caaare... She ditched her after her mom died? heeeey-o John parallels where he emotionally ditched them after Mary died. Only this leads to Patience growing up with no idea about her powers... Except she has been unnerved enough by her deja vu to sound like she's researched it on wikipedia and reassured herself that hey this happens to everyone...

Well if she's not queer she's certainly having one hell of a metaphor journey :P

HOLY SHIT SAM. He put Jack in that table because there's a SECRET CAMERA

you know what Sam has done? Once he knew the BMOL put cameras in the bunker, he's gone and found their wifi and he's got into it with undefined magic hacking powers they all have and he's using Ketch's surveillance for his own purposes now.

Look. You mean well. You're reading the sort of parenting book for psychic kids you never had yourself (love it) but this is creepy! You shouldn't be spying on Jack!!!!

Sam has boundary issues with his magic nephew, more news at 10

I know I know he's just concerned and worried and wants to do the right thing but he's not got any frame of reference for how to emotionally nurture someone. It's a MIRACLE and testament to his nature that he's come out anything like as sweet as he did. But oh boy this is bad. You can't just come running in yelling because Jack moved out of sight because now Sam has betrayed that he was watching Jack or WHY WOULD HE COME RUNNING IN IN SUCH A PANIC?

Jack's starting to sound done with everything and I love my Nougat child who likes sitting in dark corners.

He's not sitting cross-legged this time, it's much more like how Sam found him in 12x23

I think Jack seeks out dark shadowy places to lurk

His voice has literally changed to be more gravelly

OH NO JACK NOOOOOOOOO

HOW DARE YOU THINK YOU'RE EVIL, YOU PRECIOUS CHILD

But Dean thinks he'll be evil and Sam has surveillance set up on him...

Oh dear god let this be the Berens Speech of the episode that makes me weep openly

OH NO NOUGAT

He's got all his comparisons to live up to but he doesn't have his angel watching over him!!!

I said earlier that's a bad comparison for Jack to treat him as his father AND that phrase needs to be hauled out and torn to shreds, but I think some short term guardian angeling will probably be good for Jack and maybe even Cas depending on how he feels when he gets back... I almost trust this season to treat that relationship slowly and carefully since they're being so absolutely on the nose with character development stuff being spelled out.

Sam's doing the "listen" thing and sitting down... Can you get to Jack?

SAY THE THING

Oh gosh he apologised for pressuring Jack

I didn't think that would work

I should yell at the screen more

HE WANTS TO FIND A BETTER WAY

AND THEN HE TOOK JACK'S HAND AND HAULED HIM TO HIS FEET

OH YEAH HERE IT IS "I know what it feels like -" THAT WAS PART 2 OF "SAY THE THING"

AHAHA STOP MAKING SAM CRY, BERENS, YOU MONSTER

It makes me cry

"Dean, Cas - my family helped me through" NOOOOOOOOOOOOPE FUCK OFF BERENS

"you're not evil, Jack" THANKS SAM, THOUGH

Meanwhile: Jody and Dean awkwardly stand next to each other while Patience has a Family Moment.

Dean's connection to Missouri goes so far back that Patience has to mean something to him in the sense that omg this is Missouri's family... However she treated Dean (and kinda scared him i think :P) he has an investment in them because Missouri was there at a bloody awful time for him, and she was helpful and good to them (and he has no idea she was lying about John the whole time - tbh the fact that she can see stuff that happened in a scene pretty much just confirms to me that what we DIDN'T see was that the first time John met her he took her to the nursery and BAM she sees the scene from 2x21 that Azazel showed Sam of the demon blood and she's like... ah.)

(pls refer to my pre-wayward sisters watching notes for actual thoughts on that :P I got super rambly and i'm not going over it AGAIN)

OH NO James grew up having total faith in her powers and then she said what James wanted to hear and told him the better news either making a mistake or doing EXACTLY WHAT WE SAW HER DO in her introductory seconds... Temporary help to alleviate pain but in the end - well, that guy's wife was still banging the gardener whether he knew it or not and one way or another he might find out...)

UGH Missouri what did you do.

OH NO JAMES HAS DEAN'S BACKSTORY OF HIS PARENT ON THE ROAD HUNTING MONSTERS

Remember when I said I hated the Dean Smith life he made for himself? I HATE IT SO MUCH

I went to vent at Mittens about this and she told me she has been comparing Patience to Kev and James to Linda and that's another extremely awful way to look at all this :D

"I didn't want that life for you" I think it's interesting that James managed to put it all behind him SO effectively, especially if he's somewhat psychic himself (I BET IT HELPS WITH TRADING SHARES, IF IT HELPS WITH VOLLEYBALL. JUST SAYING)... He's basically done what both John and Mary repeatedly said especially in the context of Sam and just letting him go to school and live a life. Patience has got that - so far - but lo and behold it all catches up.

Aaaand James chooses to run again.

Like, it sucks, but "use her as bait and kill the wraith" is generally the better tactic when it comes to just confronting your problems. And the horror genre is ALWAYS about confronting those inner problems. In this case the wraith going specifically after the psychics in the family is blatantly a metaphor for this catching up and James no longer being able to pretend this isn't what his family is all about. I would say it's targeted at his decisions and Patience's awakening - a vision is one thing, an attack BECAUSE she had it seals the deal and makes it impossible to ignore.

And if James runs again, he only puts the problem behind them, to try and live normally but... Patience has already been changed by this encounter and Missouri's awakening.

Awwwwwwww nooooooooo flashback.

She's so SMOL.

This is all the perfect sort of emotional manipulation to get me completely attached to her.

I'm trying not to meta too much between The Man Pain and Patience's story (she's the POV character of WS I think? I mean I desperately want her to be, as the new character to the dynamic aside from Kaia who's being introduced later as a part of Claire's story - and I think I saw one comment somewhere in the PR and completely latched onto it) but there is something about James saying that Missouri's influence is poison and Patience learning to be psychic is something he desperately wants to avoid, and the parallel story with Jack also discovering his powers. Patience thankfully only seems to have Sam-like visions and will probably have Missouri's skill set (i mean sheesh this might not be a memory but a vision but in this case it's almost impossible to tell apart for Patience except that maybe this is literally the clarity of what she's remembering on screen :P) - I think it works better in the present day, that the adults are all here to weigh in on what Patience can be.

I think Missouri appearing in flashes mirrors Kelly to Jack, since he's not getting anything from Cas at the moment, so she's the beacon of someone who truly believes in Patience, and there was a sort of powers birth transfer awakening thing in the way Missouri dies and Patience gets her first strong vision that she can't shake off as deja vu.

Dean said that Missouri reads objects so Patience is probably getting this vision off the brooch, tbh.

This hazy memory is probably actually circa like... season 2 or something, if Patience is supposed to be school aged NOW and the show is THIRTEEN YEARS OLD so if she's like... 5... that's season 1 or 2, if she's roughly supposed to be 18

I am not good at maths btw feel free to call this out

That kid REALLY looks like young Patience, in that creepy SPN casting directors way

OH GOSH the vision parallels not just to Kelly but Missouri will always look out for her, and that's very much like Angels Are Watching Over You

AAAAAH HE GRABBED PATIENCE

put it back.jpg

Is James going to use his own secrit powers he's been repressing the entire time and find her?

HE'S GONNA USE HIS PSYCHIC POWERS TO FIND PATIENCE

Bless this entire metaphor of repression being overcome and accessing the true parts of yourself.

Is this the same creepy set that Cas once stabbed a demon in that time when he was looking for something or other? I can't even remember if that was season 10 or 11 or what he was looking for, but a gif of him wandering around doing The Eyebrow is common enough on my dash I don't forget that it happened :P

Oh great he basically has super wraith powers because he drinks people with super powers.

Stupid creepy wraith

Leave her alone!!!!!!!!!

LOL

"first: gross" I love her.

NOOOOO JAMES

You were just starting to be cool

Wait is she having a vision, because Jody should probably not be dead right now if she has a spin off to be playing around in:P

I bet Dean's about to killed too

Yep

owie, that was embarrassing for him

He's super off his game if he lets himself get killed THAT EASILY

This was super metaphoric on so many levels though - once I know what happens with James I should get back to that, but Jody symbolically being killed and she's moving on to another property with her flock of girls, and DEAN, getting symbolically super killed like stabby stabby stabby, make it look good for the next time they have to recap how often they all die on this show.. :P But yeah, even just showing him dying is fascinating, especially with the context of how he's feeling.

And oh no Mittens pointed out he's not just off his game but if he saw Jody being dead, that's all his worst fears, and ANOTHER dead friend on his hands, and he did specifically come here to protect her, in his words. :<

I love the 2nd version of this. The new fight coordinator guy is really showing off. I type in the instant Dean grabs the rope because improvised weapons are a thing now :P

I should probably dig up that meta about veils between worlds because even if Dean didn't die he just got shoved through like 100 hanging sheets and that is ridiculously symbolic.

Nice one, Dean.

LOL his face. "welp, killed that guy"

I feel like there was a Moment there. Like maybe he thought hunting would make him feel something but -

oh no

HE'S SCRUFFY AGAIN

I feel attacked by the bad continuity but the fact that the bad continuity is because Dean's apparently due some grief scruff

"You handled that wraith! Guess you still got it!!"

*dean pauses* *stares into the nihilistic dark void consuming his soul*

"guess so"

I hate this

PATIENCE

Snuggly hoodie is snuggly. I wanna hug her

"Thank you, for everything" that phraaase nooo

James thinks she should put her gift away and get back to normal... But she has a spin off to go to.

NOO DEAN DO NOT DO A IN THIS LIFE SPEECH

I HAAATE THIS

elizabethrobertajones WHAT THE FUCK HE'S SCRUFFY AGAIN I'm phoning the continuity guy how do I find his number Dean's scruff has been coming and going all episode :P

mittensmorgul wait where are you?

elizabethrobertajones Dean's broken pls help him this must be the scene they wanted the scruff for and he showed up on day 1 of filming clean shaven and they were like... Jensen... no

mittensmorgul HAHAHA

elizabethrobertajones Dean's gotta talk about how everything sucks and he wants to just go live on the beach in a house made of sticks and you need at least 5mm of scruff for that speech

mittensmorgul oh no...

Anyway Dean and James agree - Patience should go live in her house and they should exploit their skills only for shares and volleyball. Dean is utterly, utterly defeated and he hates the job and it's the worst and everyone you love will die and you just have to kill monsters all day and it's not even FUN...

please help him

YAY JODY

"you don't have to listen to him" because guess who is NOT THE BOSS OF US ON THE WAYWARD SISTERS SHOW?

That's right, The Man Pain(TM)

Jody you absolute beacon of sunshine and love and accepting yourself. She can see Dean's broken and spoke out of turn to what Patience might need in his own grief (and I think that must parallel to Sam's treatment of Jack somewhat although thankfully they resolved it back to a functioning relationship already) so she offers her an alternative.

OH NO and she refers to Claire as a sort of daughter

haaalp

And she's so sad she couldn't keep Claire safe against her nature to be a hunter.

And Jody OBLITERATES repression completely. Go be gay with the Wayward Sisters. :D

"You try to force it down to make someone else happy, you will only make yourself miserable"

I love you Berens.

And Jody recruits another avenger :D

*glares at my tables tag* Sam is sitting alone in the dark at the war room table, exactly like the end of 9x06. Sometimes being right about the sneaky imagery the show uses feels so pointless because, well, I'm right, but to what purpose does this serve? The tables tag will never bring me glory in battle :P

Mittens just warned me to squish Taako for the rest of this scene so I'm in hug mode.

"How's the kid, did he go darkside yet?" "nooope."

I mean I'm using Sam's line as a reaction gif forever but OW.

Is Sam gonna call Dean out on what he's been saying about Jack? I scared.

"He's messed up because of you"

... uuh. Again. I'm gonna stop asking Berens for the next line of dialogue because i feel like I'm in that gameshow where they are trying to finish a phrase and I'm just asking for all the right letters while thinking I know what the phrase is and I am scared about what that phrase is.

And Sam is playing with the rings on the table, which Lucifer once did, and Sam did a few times in season 12 when things were HAIRY.

He fidgets when he is upset with his family.

"You think you can USE this freak"

I'm SHAKING. DEAN, NO. STOP TALKING IMMMMMMEDIATELY RIGHT NOW.

I stand by that Sam has a dodgy approach to Jack but fuck that entire concept that Dean just aired, we're getting into Open Warfare in the fandom between the Sam n Dean factions, I can tell. Like... the only question is is this going to be worse than Sam Hit A Dog or In The Same Situation I Wouldn't, or both on top of each other?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JACK IS THERE

Dean is wearing a black henley and Jack is wearing a white one I HATE IT

"I didn't end bad" OH WE ARE GOING THERE

WE ARE SO GOING THERE

Sam's been going there since Dean said "freak" because i have recently rewatched enough of season 1-4 to screeech when Dean said it.

And here's the season 2 thing back again

OH SHIT

Dean no

NO.

He's saying ALL THE THINGS AND HE SHOULD NOT BE SAYING THEEEEM

(I mean... healthy communication and the truth? But like... not doing it at top volume in front of the kid??)

NO THE CAS THING

THIS IS THE SAME FACE AS 9x22 WHEN DEAN SAID IT WAS A DICTATORSHIP

CAAAASSSSSS

HI BABE

Wakey wakey

Okay I had to go to dinner and I took my laptop down and made my mum extremely sad

I noticed a couple of other things on the next pass through, mostly sneaky dialogue repeats that I can't remember

but pass 2 through that last argument anyway because I was rushing it

Oh teardrops in the bead curtain at Dede's place, because grief. More passing through veils too.

The 9x06 parallel because Sam has a pencil for Jack, and it's a different room in the Bunker but weird shades of them keeping Crowley there, at least on the negative side of how they're treating Jack. Not a true parallel - different room and they're not asking him to write anything down, and Jack is doubling as Kevin.

Thinking of doubles - Patience framed as having 2 consciences about whether she becomes a wayward sister or not in Dean vs Jody - very much like Jack having dual father issues. Jody says "don't listen to him" for the negative example and wafts it away with love and she's gonna keep Patience :3

Also I thought of like 18 more reasons why I love Patience while I was watching

So, 3rd pass through this argument... WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF

Sam confronting Dean is again something where the episode establishes a mixed sort of approach but overall he has a GOOD approach to Jack and the best he's getting at the moment. Dean calling out Sam for using Jack THAT loudly and angrily instead of gently critiquing his methods and asking Sam if he'd care if Jack couldn't get Mary back - that's something Jack can't overhear right now but super needs to.

Of course, Dean is the Worst Parent but he hasn't signed up for that role. He still has an influence over Jack and is too super pissed off to see Jack - and Jack is behind a wall, which takes us to Berens and 12x22 and the wall between Dean and Mary. Dean can't see Jack for what he is and that means he's saying all the wrong things and not even able to reach out to parent him.

Jack basically wakes Cas up to get him back so he can have a non-yelling parent who will be uncomplicatedly good and the angel who watches over him.

(More on that dynamic once they interact a bit)

The fact Sam summons the spectre of John to tell Dean that he told him to put a bullet in Sam... Of course Dean can refute what John said and that Sam deserves to be saved which is lovely but you know. Awful argument. Not really the time for that sentiment :P Dean can see Sam - knows and trusts him like no one else in the universe; even Cas in some respects, because Cas is complicated and it's always so messy, that he keeps on giving Cas trust but Cas leaves or does stuff Dean doesn't approve of, and Sam is generally easier for him to deal with...

(Also the complicated feelings about Cas)

Sam goes and demolishes that this is about Mary. That Dean might be SAD about her and losing her but that he knows as well as Sam that she's gone because she went into that fight willingly, to protect them.

Cas, on the other hand, Dean absolutely can't see past. Dean's *entire* problem with Jack is because he lost Cas. Because he looks at Jack and sees dead Cas. Sam can explain how Mary chose to punch Lucifer right in the face (hehe) in some easy steps, but Dean then spells out his perception on what happened to Cas because of Jack.

I am so not over how the only time I've seen Dean this angry with Sam is in 9x22 and he yells right in his face and - GAH. I mean he's been angry with him before but it was a cold, sad or defeated anger, usually with tears involved. This is wide eyed, crazed, Mark of Cain Dean, who then walked around the corner and flipped back to a smooshy smile because Cas was there.

And this fight is taking place in almost the same space of turf as that argument, because heeey war room where the wars take place.

At this point, after "you might be able to forget about that, but I can't", I am pretty sure that Destiel has just gone horrifically canon in like the worst possible way, that Dean calls out the difference in their feelings about Cas.

It's literally putting on the table "is sam a dick or does dean just love cas in a special kind of way"

and dear god, Sam is not a dick.

Sam is amazing.

But not as much as Misha Collins who got a special card with his name on and "starring" above it, just for opening his eyes and sitting up.

#my stuff #13x03 #season 13 spoilers #i'm just saying if you have to google 'does everyone feel like this' about something you're probably gay #even if it's a metaphor and you don't have a clue if deja vu works like that #reblog if you're gay and get deja vu a lot

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coffeesforfuckers · 7 years

Text

Our Summers Together Are My Best Kept Secrets And My Biggest Mistakes // Chapter Three

Ships: Peterick, Brallon, Ferard, Trohley, Jalex, Zian and others in the background

Description: Summers for most kids are spent going to the beach and on vacations with your family but lots are shipped off to summer camps for the whole summer. But the kids at Hempman Summer Camp actually beg to go! Patrick Stump, Andy Hurley and Joe Trohman all met there, they had all known each other for probably over a decade because of this absolutely amazing stay-away camp for kids from the ages of six to nineteen. All the kids that were there came back until they couldn't and they always had the same kids except a few new, younger, kids every year. That is until the year that the weird kid with the jet-black, dyed, black fringe and the crazy piercings and a couple tattoos comes in like he owns the place. That year also happens to be the same year that Patrick Stump gets gum stuck to the new emo kid's face and hair. It was love at first sight... But hate at first interaction for the blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy and the complete opposite for the new kid, Pete Wentz.

Chapter 3: Three: I Have a Forehead Texting Me and He's Kind of Cute?

Dallon

I lay sprawled out across my bed, I don’t know why I can’t sleep but I’m just wired. Probably just too much coffee? I’m scrolling through my phone while Spencer, Jon and Ryan all slept.

My phone dings with a new message and I check the notification.

New message from: Retrieving…

I tap it and Kik opens.

I have one new message from someone by the name of BeeboBreadbin . What the fuck? I’m intrigued.

BeeboBreadbin: What’s your favorite animal and why?

Who the fuck is this dude? And is he okay?

Dal-Do: What is this? School??

Dal-Do: The flamingo cause it’s gay I guess?

This person has my full attention and I know I’m not getting any sleep tonight.

BeeboBreadbin: Wtf??? Is your user a fucking play on the word dildo??

BeeboBreadbin: Kinky

Dal-Do: I know I am thanks

Dal-Do: How’d you get my kik?

Dal-Do: I’m is confuse

BeeboBreadbin: Nice Engli dude

BeeboBreadbin: It was on tumblr and I’m bored

BeeboBreadbin: Or should I say

BeeboBreadbin: I’m is bored

Dal-Do: Fuk off

Dal-Do: You just want this dick

BeeboBreadbin: I’m not against it

BeeboBreadbin: WHat do you look like btw?

I contemplate showing this random guy that literally found my account on Tumblr, of all places, what I look like. I mean it couldn’t hurt really to just show him what I look like, but I mean... I don’t even know what I mean. I’m too tired to think.

Dal-Do: /Image Attached/

Dal-Do: Sorry, I was really drunk in this pic but like thats the most recent I have of just myself and it’s too dark for a good one.

BeeboBreadbin: Def want that dick fmu

BeeboBreadbin: Like you’re hot as fuck help

BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/

BeeboBreadbin: Teach me ur wayz plz

BeeboBreadbin: *Cries*

Dal-Do: Wtf??? You’re so hot??? I’m??? Sobbing????

Dal-Do: Pls don’t show me ur god face anymore

Dal-Do: So sexi

Dal-Do: I met you like ten mins ago… I need to chill

Dal-Do: My gay just couldn’t help but slip out

BeeboBreadbin: Pls slip ur gay into my ass

BeeboBreadbin: I need help

BeeboBreadbin: Gonna go drink bleach brb

BeeboBreadbin: Gotta go drwon the cringe

BeeboBreadbin: Drown*

Dal-Do: My name’s Dallon btw

Dal-Do: I realized that rn my name is dildo and I don’t want ur hotness to think I’m a dildo

BeeboBreadbin: I’m Brendon

BeeboBreadbin: Not Brandon

BeeboBreadbin: Call me Brandon and I’ll fucking cut you

BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/

BeeboBreadbin: See

Dal-Do: Yes, I am so scared of a forehead with a knife, /Brandon/

BeeboBreadbin: I’LL CUT YOU!

Dal-Do: Sure you will

Dal-Do: If anything you’ll want my gay inside u

BeeboBreadbin: You right

BeeboBreadbin: I’m always a slut for a walking dildo

Dal-Do: I’m always a slut for a walking forehead

BeeboBreadbin: Bitch.

Damnit, this kid is actually really funny and he’s pretty fucking hot if I do say so myself. Even with a forehead bigger than his shitty bowl-cut, he was pretty fucking cute. Shit, what was I even thinking? I just met this kid.

Patrick

I felt bad, I was basically using Pete but even for someone as sloppy as him, he was really a fun person to have as a fuck buddy. He was hot as hell, rough, kinky and there were no strings attached! Perfect.

I know it’s fucked up but I’m not out and I’m the biggest commitment phobe on the planet. Yes, I understand that I’m problematic.

For once, I’m the first one awake. It’s only about six in the morning but I was wide awake. Pete squirms in his sleep, mumbling something. He talked in his sleep a lot, most of it was just incoherent mumbles and others were clear, mostly him muttering something to his mother or a friend.

I’m on my phone, checking all my notifications and such, texting some friends and writing down some lyrics.

“Patrick.” I hear and nearly jump out of my skin, I turn to find Pete sound asleep in the nearby bed.

“Yeah?” I raise my brow.

“Lay with me.” He murmurs sleepily.

“Um, What?” I choke in utter shock, this was probably the most crazy thing he’d said.

“Please, baby?” I feel the same itch that runs through my body when I’m in a relationship and begin to get jittery, needing to get out.

“Uh, I-I’m… P-Pete? I’m- er, uh, not…” I stammer out anxiously.

His words come out incoherent now and I know I can’t keep doing this anymore…

Pete

I am falling madly in love with Patrick Stump.

This is so bad.

I knew that Patrick won’t ever love me he’s not like that. He tells me all the time, he’s not the ‘forever with you’ type, he’s the ‘hump and dump’ type. It baffles me.

He’s so careful with everybody and everything, not wanting to upset anyone and yet this little ball of happiness is the biggest fucking slut on the face of the earth.

Damn, I want to hate him.

But, who could hate Patrick Stump .

Alex

The room was dim, light seeping in through the old smashed windows and the cracks in the old chipped wood of the abandoned wooden cabin Some light also poured in through the cracks and holes in the ceiling. The cabin was old, rotten, gross and falling to pieces but it was ours . And that’s all that mattered.

Hs fingers run through my somewhat long hair, his forehead pushed firmly to mine, the tips of our noses brushing. Our legs were tangled around each other as we sat across from each other on the ground.

“Lex?” I can feel his warm breath caress my lips.

“Yes, boo?” I coo back softly.

“So, um… What…” He pauses, pulling his head back from mine, “What are we?”

“Alive.” I reply with a coy smile, leaning in to kiss him again but he moves back, detangling himself from me. He seems frustrated by my reply.

“You know what I mean, Alex.” He grumbles, using my full name.

“I don’t know? We’re just friends that are like… More than friends but… Less than lovers… You know?” I let out a shaky breath and an awkward frown.

“No, Alex.” He huffs, “I don’t know.” He stands and starts to pace, “We’re either dating or somebody's being used.”

“It’s not like that! I just don’t want labels and people like, knowing! I like our secret , Jack. I love this .” I frown sadly.

“I don’t ‘ love this ’. I want to hold your hand, kiss you, touch you, love you, wherever and whenever I can. I want to scream my love from the rooftops because, I love you, Alex . You never say it back but I’m fucking madly in love with you and you know it, Alex.” Jack tosses his hands in the air, “I don’t want to be a dirty little secret anymore, Alexander.” I wince at him using my full-on first name.

I let out a soft sigh, “I’m not ready for that… I like how we already are…” My voice cracks with desperation.

“I’m not doing this anymore.” He shakes his head and I feel my heart start to sink, “I’m done… I want to be something that you're proud to call yours.”

I swallow hard, “Wha-... What are you trying to say, Jacky…?” I’m trembling.

“We’re done. This… Is done.” He looks me dead in the eyes as he shoots his words like daggers into me. I let out a sob and then I can’t stop, shaking violently and bawling my eyes out. Jack shakes his head at my tears, turning to leave.

“I love you, Jack!” The words I’d neglected to say for so long finally spilled from me, my voice leaking emotion that spilled over the room.

“Well, you’re too late.”

And he’s gone.

Dallon

I’d been talking with Brendon for about two, almost three, weeks but I already knew this kid was something special. All of my friends were extremely concerned with how attached to this random stranger I’ve become.

BeeboBreadbin: Dallon

BeeboBreadbin: Dal

BeeboBreadbin: Dal-Do

BeeboBreadbin: Yo!!! Dildo!!! Fucking reply damnit!!!!!!!

BeeboBreadbin: The forehead is gonna come stab ya ass

BeeboBreadbin: (With this dick!!!!)

Dal-Do: Pls do

BeeboBreadbin: Dildo! You’re back!!

Dal-Do: And gayer than ever!! ;)

BeeboBreadbin: Fuckin’ gayyy

Dal-Do: You know it

BeeboBreadbin: Wanna see my new room decoration?? (It not for indended use btw)

Dal-Do: Yus, send (n00ds) pls

BeeboBreadbin: Those come later

BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/

Dal-Do: IS THAT A /GLASS/ FUCKING DILDO!!!???

BeeboBreadbin: Yee! (Not for anal use I swear)

BeeboBreadbin: I named it Dallon <3

Dal-Do: What an honor it is to be shoved up your ass, /Brandon/

BeeboBreadbin: >:(

BeeboBreadbin: It’s decoration

BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/

BeeboBreadbin: On tha Pianooo

Dal-Do: Urielectric?

BeeboBreadbin: ???

BeeboBreadbin: O shit that thing

BeeboBreadbin: I do the musics and that’s what my studio (aka my friend’s basement) is called.

Dal-Do: You don’t live with your fam?

BeeboBreadbin: Nah, they kicked me out cause I’m a bi atheist

Dal-Do: A Gaytheist?

BeeboBreadbin: Y

BeeboBreadbin: E

BeeboBreadbin: S

Dal-Do: Relatable

BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/

Dal-Do: WHaT ArE U doInG WIth uR LEg!?!?!!????!!!

Dal-Do: Are those leather pants!???!!!

Dal-Do: You fuckin’ SL00TE!!

Dal-Do: ANd ThoSE BOOtS??!!

Dal-Do: ARE YOU A FUCKING STRIPPER??!!!???!!

BeeboBreadbin: Only for u, boo ;)

Dal-Do: That’s gay

BeeboBreadbin: Yep, That’s me

Dal-Do: THAT’S SO RAVEN!!!!!!

BeeboBreadbin: Bitch you cheating on me with Raven Simone

Dal-Do: We ain’t even dating tf?

BeeboBreadbin: Damnit

BeeboBreadbin: My Plot

BeeboBreadbin: FOILED!

BeeboBreadbin: *Sobbing*

Dal-Do: That was fucking lammmmeeeeee!

BeeboBreadbin: Just like you

Dal-Do: /Image Attached/

Dal-Do: Gon fite u

BeeboBreadbin: Ooo!! Sweati and Sexi!!!

Dal-Do: Damn right hoe

Dal-Do: You better fucking enjoy that pic!!

Dal-Do: Everybody thinks I’m a psycho from running around first to get all sweaty and then taking fucking weird ass pics of myself while running.

BeeboBreadbin: That’s hawwttt!!!

BeeboBreadbin: I’d lick you, bro (Full Homo)

Dal-Do: Wtf??? Lmao, you’re fucked up

BeeboBreadbin: You rite

BeeboBreadbin: I is

BeeboBreadbin: Fuck I gtg, ttyl

Dal-Do: Awe ;,( come back soon

I frown and toss my phone to the side. May as well go see what everybody else is doing for once.

Chapter Masterlist ~

Previous -

One - The Gum Habit Gone Bad

Two - On the Rooftop with You

Next -

Four - Memories I Keep Locked Away for Times Like This

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