#like borderline pathetic in how stupid it is

[angelribbon]

˖ ݁ ✶ ⁾ . 𝓐TTENTION WHORE ! ✶ logan howlett

TW : cursing, smut, fem!reader, not proof read, slapping, dubcon, thigh riding, orgasm denial, logan is mean in this ✦: i can match his freak

logan rarely has the energy for your bullshit. he knows you enjoy pissing him off, flirting with other men in front of him, just so he can fuck you stupid later. bullies his cock into you while forcing your head down into the pillows by your hair, slapping your ass till he's sure there's a mark. you'll choke out sobs as he abuses your cervix, a constant push and pull as he slams into you just to pull out and slam into you again. he won't relent until you're all stuffed and leaking with his cum-until he's sure he's fucked the thought of anyone else out of your silly little head and you're all pliant and docile in his arms.

then theres the odd day when he'll just ignore you. lets you have your fun-lets you think you've won with that cheeky twinkle in your eye, until he's carried you home. and you're fine-fucking superb when he sits on the sofa, beer in hand and his eyes focus on the tv and stay there even when you sit on his thigh with petulant eyes-practically begging him to give you something.

he doesnt.

you know he has to be playing with you. that its his fucked up revenge ploy which you swear you wont be joining in. so you suck it up, and keep your mouth shut, even if you're aching for him to even blink at you twice.

you keep your eyes on him as you do it-push yourself against his thigh in nothing less of a pathetic attempt to get him to look at you again. he lets you, though, which you take as some tiny reprieve

(silly, silly girl)

and rut against him faster, harder as you huff out low whimpers and gasps that fall on deaf ears. tears brim in your eyes, falling down your cheeks because pride be damned, you enjoy it. some sick fucked up little part of you craves it-wants him to treat you like you're just some needy slut for him.

and he knows it. knows you cant cum without him, that he's just edging you now, to the point where it fucking hurts.

"l-logan-" you stutter out the words, not even caring how pitiful you sound, needing something to satiate the burn that makes your thighs shake. "'m sorry, swear-"

he clicks his tongue, something of a smile on his lips as he wraps his hands around your waist, bringing you down on him. its embarrassing, borderline concerning really, how much the little movement has you trembling but you doubt you care. it clicks in to that perfect little spot in your head when he moves you against him, giving you adrenaline that makes your head practically spin as you fall against his shoulder.

"pathetic" he mutters as he slaps you lightly on the ass, causing you to squirm in his grasp. “want my attention that bad?”

it’s not a question, thankfully-because you doubt you’d be able to answer with how fuzzy you feel. lips parting open as the knot strings tighter-

you babble mindlessly-tells him how you love him so much-that he’s right-that you do need his attention. that you’re sorry-that you’ll be so fucking good.

which he knows is a lie but he’ll let it go for now

it creeps up on you, let’s ecstasy seep into your veins as you breath stutters, let’s you see fucking stars as he bounces his thigh under you. something of a strangled gasp leaves you when it’s over-when he takes you off of him and kisses your forehead, making you fall asleep with some dazed look in your eyes.

he thinks you really are perfect for him-some pretty little thing so desperate that he thinks you’re almost cute.

( he fucks you again later. assaults your poor cunt over and over until he cums in you. watches as you try and keep it all in-trying to keep your promise. perfect)

[lisired]

(at the end of the day) everybody dies

pairing: haechan x (f) reader

genre/warnings: angst, smut, major character death, graphic descriptions of violence

summary: denial after denial, your step-brother continues to nag you about an upcoming high school reunion, until you finally agree to tag along. it’s awkward seeing your ex-boyfriend, haechan, again for the first time in years, but you have no time to dwell on the past with the threat of undead students banging on the school gates.

word count: 20k

a/n: part 3/3 of my wanted: dead or alive series. as always, feedback is appreciated!

Every nerve in your body was screaming at you to leave this school, to never step foot here again, but you had made a promise you were none too keen on breaking. 

Though to be fair, you had been pressured and borderline manipulated into coming. Mark, your stepbrother, was the only reason you had bothered to show up at all. You had no idea why he couldn’t drag himself to your stupid high school reunion on his own. 

But alas, what your annoying little stepbrother wanted, he almost always received. Though not without a fair tradeoff. You would be sure to do something that would momentarily destroy his life at some point. 

At the moment, the idea of storming out and abandoning him without a ride was particularly appetizing. 

“Mark, I don’t think I can do this anymore,” you said as you approached the fiery, demonic gates of hell. 

Mark rolled his eyes for the nth time today alone. You had been insufferable about this entire trip ever since he (forcibly) asked you to come. “We’re already here. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“It’s not too late to turn around,” you reminded, scratching at the blue denim of your pants. “We can always change our minds, you know. Go shopping instead.”

“Not a chance,” Mark replied, grabbing your shoulders and pushing you straight ahead. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

It was your turn to roll your eyes, but Mark gave you little to no say in the matter. He pushed you forward until you exasperatedly swatted his hands away, insisting that you knew how to walk on your own, and braced yourself for the inevitable havoc. 

You both knew the real reason you didn’t want to come back here and it had nothing to do with the school itself. Well, maybe. There were a lot of memories you’d buried on school grounds, good and bad. Some memories better than others. Some unspeakable. The point was that your rationale behind leaving was something much darker. 

Walking through the double entrance of your former school, you were surprised by how uniquely different and yet familiar the place looked on both the inside and outside. The campus looked recently renovated, but it wasn’t completely unrecognizable. There were the usual old brick walls, but fresh blue paint and brand new white pillars.

You wondered if they finally upgraded the bathrooms. Though you had wanted better ones since freshman year, even when you graduated, they were still pathetically disgusting. The entire student body had been hoping for something cleaner. More like begging. 

Mark studied the entrance hall in awe for a moment before flitting his gaze back to you, patting you on the shoulder. “We’re early. Wander around a little bit. See how much the school has changed over the past decade. That’ll give you enough time to get your mind together before the others get here.”

You silently shrugged in answer, deliberately sulky. Mark had definitely planned this out. No doubt he had been expecting your stubbornness.

With that, Mark turned and started down the hallway, most likely going to check out the school for himself. You didn’t understand why he was here any more than you understood yourself. He wasn’t even a part of your senior class. 

You stood in place for a moment as you glanced about awkwardly, uncertain of here to go first. There were so many options, and far too many of them brought back forbidden memories. The kind that you were to never, under any circumstances, speak of. 

After a long minute of wavering, you ultimately decided to pace in the direction of the lockers, concluding it was the safest option. Despite how many years had gone by, the journey still felt so natural. The route was engraved inside your memory, with the once in a lifetime experience of not having to shove past other students in a crowded hallway. 

The lockers looked a little different. They were still the very exact shade of blue they had been a decade ago, but with some touch ups. You stood in front of yours, something bittersweet making your heart throb. Many memories existed here. Stupid, petty arguments and stolen kisses. 

With how engrossed in your thoughts you were, the last thing you were expecting was for someone to come up behind you.

“Boo!”

You jumped, screaming as loud as your lungs would let you. Startled, you jolted to look to the other side, coming face to face with Johnny Suh. “God, you asshole,” you swore, a hand put over your speeding heart. “I can already tell you’re still annoying.”

Johnny laughed. “Is that your way of greeting someone you haven’t seen in years?”

You scoffed, very familiar with Johnny’s shenanigans, and retorted, “Only if scaring the living the hell out of them is yours.”

Despite the annoyance in your tone, you pulled Johnny in for a well-overdue hug. And Johnny, ever the gentleman, made sure to ensure maximum distance between your bodies. Maybe it was a little bit too chivalrous. Sure, a whole decade had gone by, and Johnny had always been respectful, but he had never been one to mind a splash of contact between friends. 

Male or female, for the record. You pulled away first, crossing your arms in suspicion. “What’s her name?”

Johnny’s eyes widened in surprise. “Is it that obvious?”

You laughed. Was that a serious question? “You just gave me the most courteous hug ever and I know you’re the last person to be scared of tits. You definitely have a girlfriend.”

“Fiancée, actually,” Johnny replied with a smile, holding up his hand to show off the band on his finger. “I’m engaged. I bought us matching rings.”

You gawked, surprised. Johnny was one of the few people in the bunch who you had never imagined to have a successful long-term relationship, so this kind of life update was totally unexpected. “Engaged to who?” you asked, flabbergasted. 

“Victoria,” Johnny replied casually. 

That threw you for another loop. Victoria, as in Victoria Kim? The same Victoria you literally bet five dollars wouldn’t take Johnny back if he was the last guy on earth? There was no way in hell. “Didn’t you guys break up?”

Johnny smirked, having been anticipating that reaction from you. Everyone he knew had been in a state of shock when he mentioned he’d rekindled his relationship with his high school sweetheart. “You’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

Understatement of the decade. Literally. There were only a few people you were currently up to date with in your former friend group, although that was merely because of forced proximity. Mark, Taeyong, and Jaehyun were all in some kind of dance squad together with a couple of other buddies they had. 

Johnny, on the other hand, had become something like a ghost after graduation. You knew virtually nothing about his life after high school and you hadn’t really made an effort to maintain the friendship via social media, which was partly because of the fact that your account had gotten hacked by some stalker, but that was an entirely different conversation. 

You shook your head, clearing the thoughts away. “Congratulations,” you replied, still reeling with shock. 

“Thank you,” Johnny said, leaning against the lockers. “What about you? Dating anyone?”

Your eyes widened, although you probably should have been expecting it. Fuck’s sake, this was a high school reunion. There were going to be a million questions thrown at you about your personal life and you had to be prepared to answer all of them. “Me? No. I’ve had a few brief stints, but nothing lasting.”

Johnny nodded in understanding, tempted to probe you about the brief stints in question, but held himself back. He didn’t want to make you too uncomfortable. “Ah, I get it. The dating pool is pretty fucked up right now anyway. You’re not missing out.”

“Says the engaged man,” you quipped. “You don’t have to say things just to make me feel better.”

Johnny threw his hands up. “You caught me.”

You grinned, appreciating the fact that Johnny was still admirably sincere. He kept things real, but he was cautious with his words and did his best not to hurt anyone’s feelings. You could see the maturity in his face and although it gave you whiplash, it was a pleasant addition to his character. 

There was still a lot to get used to. You were genuinely happy for his engagement, however, you would be lying if you said it didn’t rub salt in all the wrong wounds. So many years ago, everybody said it would be you walking down the aisle in a beautiful white dress. And now ironically, Johnny would be getting married to the same woman everyone swore he wouldn’t last three seconds with. 

Which, according to Victoria herself, was very inapplicable in bed. And to be fair, they had dated without breakups for nearly two years in high school. 

You forced the thought out of your head again, knowing that you were cruising down dangerous waters. Glancing up at Johnny, you asked, “Did you get taller?”

Johnny glanced down at you, noting the remarkable high difference he had never failed to tease you over in high school, and replied, “I’ve always been taller than you.”

“No shit,” you replied, because that wasn’t even what you had asked. “But did you grow?”

Johnny teased, “Nah. I think you just got shorter.”

You rolled your eyes and directed your attention back to the blue lockers, too annoyed to look at his face. Your lockers were right next to each other, meaning you got the pleasant luxury of hearing him and Victoria make out before every other class period like the two love-struck teenagers they had been. 

Not that you had been much better. 

“Haechan’s been single too,” Johnny told you offhandedly. 

You furrowed your brows. “I didn’t ask about Haechan.”

“No, but you were thinking about him.”

He had you there. Haechan had been all you could think about since the moment Mark asked if he could drag you along with him to this goddamn reunion, and he was single-handedly the only reason why you would have rather been at home. The thought that you would inevitably have to face him at some point today made you immensely antsy. 

No one needed to know that though. You didn’t want to seem like you weren’t over a relationship you had been in literally a lifetime ago. “And what would you like me to do with that information?”

Johnny shrugged, but there was a certain hint of mischief to the smile on his lips, and you weren’t even remotely curious about what it meant. “You don’t have to do anything. I’m just saying. He’s single, you’re single. I thought you would be curious.”

“Not even a little bit,” you lied through your teeth. 

Johnny could see straight through your tale, but he didn’t call you out on it. He didn’t need to. You were already filling in the blanks on your own, just as he had intended. “If you say so.”

You considered giving him a snarky response, but you refrained, deciding that you’d rather keep up your facade of nonchalance. In no way would you give the impression that you were invested in Haechan’s love life. Instead, you deflected the attention, asking, “How’s Vicky?”

“She’s doing great,” Johnny replied, smiling at the mere mention of his betrothed. You could tell he was smitten. “She works in the foreign language department of a beauty brand and she makes good money doing it too.”

You were pleased to hear that. “No surprise there. She’s always been the better bilingual.”

“Oh, definitely,” Johnny agreed. “She speaks flawless Korean and rarely mixes it with English. I’m kinda jealous. But at least living in Korea improved my accent.”

You gawked and raised your voice up a shrill pitch, asking, “When the hell did you do that?”

“Like I said, you’ve got a lot of catching up to do,” Johnny teased, seemingly having fun dropping all this new information on you out of the blue. “Anyway, I’ll catch you in a bit. I’m gonna go see if Jaehyun’s made it here yet.”

“Okay. Good luck finding him if he has. That guy can hide anywhere,” you joked.

“Not from me, he can’t,” Johnny said with a chuckle, turning and heading down the hall. 

You heaved a breath when he was gone. The first conversation had gone by smoother than anticipated, which took a few weights off your shoulders, but not many. You were still dreading bumping into your ex.

With a hand wound through your hair, you willed yourself not to make a beeline for the gates. You honestly hadn’t been expecting to speak to anybody already. You thought Mark had said you’d have some time before the others got here. Then again, Johnny was nothing if not punctual. You couldn’t think of a single time he had arrived late to homeroom, even if all he did was goof off. 

At the thought of Mark, you decided to find wherever the hell he had ran off to. The school wasn’t that damn interesting. There were only a number of places actually worth visiting the last time you’d stepped foot on campus. 

You predictably found him in the courtyard, where you remembered Mark had spent the bulk of his free time, usually chatting with his fellow underclassmen or writing underneath one of the trees by the fountain. At the moment, however, he was sitting on the edge of the fountain obviously flirting with a very pretty girl. 

Mark had his arm draped over Xiu’s shoulder and a hand over her thigh, which was crossed on top of her other leg. They were laughing about something that must’ve been super funny, because the way her body rattled as she laughed was almost violent. The whole sight was disappointing. 

Normally, you would never deliberately get in the way of your brother’s endeavors to score a beautiful lady, but today had given you a lot of momentum. You pranced over like a disapproving parent, arms folded. 

“I guess I know the real reason you wanted to come here, Mark,” you said as they noticed you approaching. 

Mark’s face flushed slightly, like he had been caught. Xiu, on the other hand, laughed and stood to give you a hug. “Oh my god. I haven’t seen you in, like, forever,” she said. 

You unfolded your arms to hug her back, grinning from ear to ear as you went in, but making sure to send a disdainful glare Mark’s way over her shoulder. “I know,” you replied, pulling back with a beaming smile. “How’s life abroad?”

Xiu went on to gush about her life in Guangzhou, where she had moved after graduation to live with her maternal grandmother. With how she spoke of the city’s food and culture, you almost wanted to take a vacation yourself. She asked you about your life away from the city too, seeming genuinely intrigued.

Though she was entirely none the wiser to the look Mark was giving you as he sat behind her on the fountain. He looked like he wanted to mangle you. You barely suppressed a laugh, but somehow managed to keep it in until you begrudgingly decided to leave after a few more minutes. 

“I think I’m gonna go now. Wouldn’t wanna get in the way of whatever you two obviously have going on,” you said after a moment, donning a perfect smile. 

Mark looked relieved, resisting a grateful sigh. Xiu thought nothing of your departure. If anything, she seemed a little disappointed, but she knew she’d see you again once the gathering kicked off. She said your name and bid you goodbye. “See you in a few,” she told you, waving. 

Reciprocating her kindness, you waved back, turning around and heading back inside the school. 

You hadn’t shown it while Xiu was still paying attention, but you were definitely more than a little mad at Mark right now. The sheer audacity of him to bring you here knowing you were scared shitless of running into your ex, solely so that he had an excuse to speak to some girl he liked. Was he fucking serious? 

It was the ultimate betrayal. No wonder he’d been so adamant on showing up to a high school reunion despite for one, it having nothing to do with him, but for two, him already being up to date with half the people attending. 

Maybe you were being overdramatic. The moment Mark first saw Xiu it had practically been love upon first sight. He’d had a crush on her since his freshman year and pined over her like some hopeless idiot until she graduated. It was something of a miracle she was actually paying attention to him now. You should have been happy. 

Pacing down another hallway, you bristled with annoyance. Then, a familiar face caught your eye, standing in front of a bulletin board between two classrooms. “Tae,” you called out. 

Taeyong turned his head, smiling when he recognized you. “Hey, bossy. How’s it going?”

You playfully rolled your eyes at the nickname, exhaling a breath as you came closer. “At this rate, I’m gonna need a detailed timeline describing the events of everyone’s lives over the past ten years,” you quipped. 

Taeyong burst into laughter. “I get it. Did you know Johnny is getting married?”

“He just told me a few moments ago,” you replied, still feeling the after effects of shock. “And to Victoria of all people. Like, I never thought she would take him back. He must have seriously grown up.”

Taeyong nodded along. “Oh, yeah. Johnny’s grown up big time. I swear, it gives me whiplash sometimes.”

You didn’t know exactly why Johnny and Victoria had broken up. She only voluntarily gave her side of the story to a select few people and went on about her life as if he’d never existed in it whatsoever. But it wasn’t difficult to assume that it was Johnny’s teenaged boy tendencies that had culminated in a devastating breakup. 

Their entire relationship was a mystery at this point and you were kind of tempted to get to the bottom of it all. “I’m still waiting to figure out how they even made up with each other. From what I remember, their breakup was pretty final.”

Taeyong hummed. “My thing is they were in different places. I think Johnny just needed some time to learn about life and Victoria needed to focus on herself. They couldn’t grow together.” 

That was a perspective you had never considered before. You had always just assumed that with Johnny’s track record, Victoria finally realized she was way out of his league. “That’s true. I hear she’s doing really well. I’m glad they’re both in a spot where they can be happy on their own as well as with each other.”

There was a curious gleam in Taeyong’s gaze, but if he was thinking about something in particular, he didn’t say a word. “How are you doing? The last time I saw you, you were super grouchy. I’ll never forget the way you took over our practice.”

“I did not take over your practice,” you insisted, although he wasn’t exactly wrong. “I just couldn’t help but notice you guys were a little out of sync. You’re welcome.” 

“Thanks so much,” Taeyong replied with a hint of sarcasm. “You didn’t answer the question though.”

“Hm?”

“How are you doing?”

Taeyong was someone you didn’t feel like you had to hide with. There wasn’t a mean bone in his body and he was the least judgmental person you knew. “I’m okay,” you replied nonchalantly, shrugging. “I didn’t really want to come here, to be honest. But Mark always gets whatever he wants eventually.”

“I figured,” Taeyong said, chuckling in amusement. Mark was rather spoiled. “I was surprised when Mark told us you were coming.”

“Have you seen him?”

Taeyong had a strong feeling that you weren’t talking about your stepbrother. “Haechan? No. He probably overslept or something. Might have even forgot the reunion was today at all.”

You laughed, but you strongly doubted it. Haechan wasn’t a very forgetful guy. His sharp memory had been his whole excuse to whisk you off on random dates. He always remembered your anniversaries, the day you first met, the day you first said you loved each other. 

No, Haechan would never forget something like this. If he didn’t show up, it was because he didn’t want to. And you had a feeling you knew why. 

You veiled the nostalgic emotions racing through you behind a smile. “That’s awfully optimistic. Anyways, I couldn’t help but notice that we’re standing right beside Doctor Nam’s class.”

Taeyong nodded, grinning from ear to ear. Ironically, there wasn’t much about that class to smile about, but it resuscitated some happy memories. “This is my first stop. I had to come here right away. It’s been so long.”

You shook your head, wistful. “God, she was the best. She literally kept us alive in third period with the snacks she passed out.”

“Yeah, because she knows AP English Lit is boring,” Taeyong said with a chortle. “My nephew says she still hands them around.”

That surprised you a little bit. You usually saw teachers get grouchier as they got older. You had to commend her for not losing her mind after more than a decade of teaching obnoxious teenagers. “That’s good to know. Wish we had snacks in calculus.”

Taeyong feigned a look of disappointment. “You would get one headache and immediately say, ‘I need a nap.’”

You nodded in confirmation, grinning at that. “That does sound like me. Everybody was so surprised I said I was majoring in computer science as if I don’t do the same shit at my job. The second I get home, I drop like a rock.”

Taeyong gave you a pat on the shoulder. He knew about your job and from what you’d told him, it sounded both complicated and stressful. He would much rather keep to dancing. “Women in STEM,” he retorted. 

You scoffed and shook your head. For sure, your work left much to be desired, but you had worked your ass off for it and it paid the bills. “Hey, I’m gonna go see if I can find Jaehyun,” you said, a sudden thought appearing in your mind. “Johnny went looking for him a while ago and I hope he doesn’t remember that I owe him five bucks now.”

Taeyong looked confused for all of seven seconds before he keeled over in laughter. “Oh my god. You made a bet that Victoria was never taking Johnny back, right?”

“Yes, and Jaehyun, being the dickrider that he is, just had to oppose me and stand up for his bestie,” you droned. 

“If he hasn’t asked you about it now, he probably forgot,” Taeyong replied, smiling wryly. 

That was wishful thinking and you both knew it, but it was true that Jaehyun hadn’t said a word to you about it, and you highly doubted he’d been oblivious to Johnny’s engagement like you were. “I hope so. See you in a bit.”

Taeyong waved you goodbye, shoving his hands in his pockets and continuing to read from the bulletin board.

Only when you set off on your journey did it occur to you that you had no idea whatsoever where to find Jaehyun, and the school was big as hell. You rooted in the middle of the hallway, thinking. You were still on the first floor, as was everyone else you’d met so far, which made it reasonable to assume that Jaehyun hadn’t made it too far either. 

If I was Jeong Jaehyun, where would I hide, you thought to yourself, humming. Assuming he had shown up on his own will, unlike you, you expected him to be somewhere mingling with the bunch. 

So imagine your surprise when you saw him standing at the trophy wall. 

Jaehyun turned, having heard your footsteps, and smiled when he recognized you. “You came,” he said, pleasantly surprised. 

You nodded, coming up beside him. Though you were sure to leave a little bit of distance between your bodies. “You sound shocked.”

“Can you blame me?” Jaehyun asked. You were expecting him to then go on about the very obvious reason everyone had for not expecting to see you, but he didn’t say anything. 

Now it was your turn to be surprised. But you didn’t let it show, hiding it behind amusement. “Well, I guess not.”

Jaehyun chuckled and tilted his head. He was watching the wall in front of you both with a certain fondness in his eyes. And something vaguely nostalgic. 

You followed his gaze. The trophy wall had everything you would expect a display case to have. There were numerous things dating back to the year the school was established, including a framed photo of the basketball team from the year you’d graduated. Johnny, who had been team captain at the time, was crouched down in the front with a ball in his hands. And Jaehyun was right beside him, as to be expected. 

“You know, I never imagined you going from basketball to dance,” you mentioned, peering up at him. “Maybe I should have. The level of footwork required is crazy.”

Jaehyun snickered, his head bobbing as he giggled. “I guess you could say I graduated.”

Your lips twitched as you desperately tried not to laugh, but to no avail. “I knew you were gonna say something stupid. You get that look in your eye and start laughing.”

“You laughed too.” 

“Yeah, but not because of what you said.”

“I still made you laugh. A win is a win.”

You exhaled dramatically, relenting. Then, you giggled again. Likely a thing to happen when you were in a high school with a handsome boy. “Yes, that’s true, I guess. You did make me laugh.” 

Jaehyun beamed triumphantly. “You have a cute smile. You should laugh more. You’re always so serious.”

Your brows stitched, but you brushed it off. It was a harmless compliment. “Um, thanks,” you replied bashfully. 

The floor squeaked. Though you could have sworn the sound came from behind you, there was no one there when you glanced over your shoulder. You ignored it, chalking it up to someone walking down the hallway. 

“I heard the dance crew is going really well,” you continued, changing the topic. “Mark won’t shut up about practicing.”

“Weren’t you bossing us around the last time I saw you?” Jaehyun asked, crossing his arms. 

You rolled your eyes and dramatically groaned, “For the love of God, I was not bossing you guys around. And even if I was, you kinda needed it.”

Jaehyun’s voice was dripping with sarcasm, “What would we do without your constructive criticism?”

“Die, probably,” you retorted. “Hey, did you know that Johnny is getting married? My bad. That’s a stupid question. Of course you know.”

Jaehyun was amused. “Yeah, I’ve known for a while. He wants me to be his best man.” 

You shook your head in mock disappointment, asking, “Why am I not surprised?”

“Did you not get an invite?”

That question surprised you. You figured he would have known. You told him no and explained, “Johnny and I haven’t been keeping in touch. I honestly think today was my first time seeing him in, like, eight years? The last time I saw him was at Xiu’s send-off party.”

“Maybe you can be my plus one. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind having you,” Jaehyun suggested. 

At first, you thought you were imagining things, but now you were fairly certain that you weren’t crazy. Was Jeong Jaehyun flirting with you?

That made you curious. All those times you had seen Jaehyun when visiting Mark at your parents’ house, and never once did it cross your mind to stop and ask if he was single. “You don’t already have a plus one?”

The implications of your question were obvious. Jaehyun shook his head and timidly confessed, “No. Dating has been pretty shaky for me, to be honest. And Mark told me you’re not seeing anybody. I didn’t ask, I swear.” 

“Mark needs to get the hell out of my business,” you replied lightheartedly, clearly only half meaning it. “But he’s not wrong. Dating has been shaky for me too.”

“Maybe we can be shaky together,” Jaehyun said in his usual, slow and melodic voice. “And because I like you, I won’t hold you to that bet we made in school.”

You gaped, stunned. You obviously hadn’t been expecting that. So he did remember. 

Jaehyun gave you a knowing smile and slithered away, most likely to find some hole in the ground to crawl inside. He wanted to leave before he potentially embarrassed himself in front of you.

Now you were interested. That was a turn you hadn’t seen coming, but it certainly had your attention. You and Jeong Jaehyun. You didn’t know why you hadn’t thought of that sooner. Jaehyun was the perfect storm of ideal attributes in a man. He was handsome, talented, just the right amount of weird, and very respectful. More or less everything you had ever wanted.

You could’ve gone on, but there was one more place you wanted to visit before it was time to reunite with the others. The single most well-funded location on the entire campus. 

There was a weird sense of pride when you stepped onto the campus football field, which was ironic, because you had never been one to care too much about school sports. Much less the ones your friends weren’t participating in. The quality of the field may have been prioritized over the dark, unimaginable bathrooms, but at least it looked pretty. 

Plus the team was full of admirably gifted players, at least when you were in school. So not only did the field make the school look good, but its champion teams did too. 

You meandered over towards the back of the bleachers. There were more memories this field had to offer than just football games you’d been dragged to. You could see images of yourself hiding behind the bleachers, a particular boy in your arms. 

Speak of the devil and he shall appear, clad in black leather. 

“We used to have a time here.”

You gasped and whipped around. Your stomach physically dropped when you locked eyes with the last person you wanted to see. 

Haechan waved at you with a sly smile, not seeming even remotely remorseful for startling you. “Sorry. Was that too forward?”

You were tempted to roll your eyes, but resisted. “Since when have you ever cared about being too forward?”

“You make a very valid argument,” Haechan said, snickering. 

Looking at his face, you felt a familiar knot return to your stomach and it only tightened when you met his eyes. You didn’t know why people called them butterflies. They’d always felt more like a flock of wild, vicious birds. 

Not to mention he’d brought up what you used to do behind the bleachers. The mere thought damn near made you paralyze on the spot. Suddenly, you were remembering what it was like to sneak behind them for another tryst of stolen kisses and tender touches. Haechan had made you your most rebellious. There was never a dull moment with him. Everything he did was to feel alive and naturally you soaked in all that energy. 

Johnny and Victoria, with all their differences, were the couple that no one had expected. Victoria was brilliant and thorough. She was the good girl. Johnny was impulsive and smart when he tried. He was always looking for mischief and fun. There was a certain uproar they’d received upon announcing their relationship that you and Haechan shockingly never had. 

You and Haechan had your fair share of differences too, but in a way that complemented the other. Haechan, for all his recklessness, was intelligent and perceptive. He loved having meaningful conversations that required thought, and he loved having them at quick paces. 

That never bothered you like it did with other people. You loved discovering and learning about other people’s opinions on all sorts of topics, even if you didn’t necessarily agree. You loved expanding your horizons and seeing the world. And Haechan never ran out of things, ideas, or places to show you. 

It was frustrating that no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t shake the thoughts of what you’d had with him, and you were struggling not to show it. But you didn’t want to make things awkward, so you said, “You look good.”

Haechan flapped his leather jacket and replied, “Thanks. You look great yourself.”

You forced yourself to maintain your gaze. The sight of him used to make you smile. Now, it made your stomach ache. “How have you been doing?” you made yourself ask. 

Haechan shrugged. “I’ve been pretty good. I just bought a new bike.”

You hummed. Haechan always did love motorbikes. In high school, he dreamed of one with a beautiful, black stain and a flair of red with insane, unrivaled speed. The fact that he said a new bike must’ve been he’d had one and then some. “Ah,” you replied, not surprised. “You still love those death machines.”

“I do,” Haechan said, even though you hadn’t phrased it like a question. “Probably even more now that I’ve owned a few. What about you? How have you been?”

Donning your most confident smile, you ignored the flutter in your gut and chirped, “Oh, I’m wonderful, you know. In all the ways that matter. I bought my first house last year and since I actually have a backyard now, I’ve been really into gardening and meditating.”

Haechan was impressed. “Wow. That is wonderful. I don’t think I’m ready to give up the whole apartment thing yet.”

You chuckled. That was very on brand of him. You used to joke that Haechan was allergic to being in the same place for too long and a complete adrenaline junkie. At some point, you were the only thing that managed to keep his attention for longer than a week. 

“What’s funny?” he asked with a hint of confusion. 

“Nothing,” you replied, shaking your head. There was still a faint smile on your face. “It just sounds like you.”

Haechan retorted, “Well, I hope so. I am me, after all. And I take great pride in living up to my name.”

“I bet you do.”

You had more to say, but no courage to say it. It was most likely going to be awkward or embarrassing. Maybe it was a good thing you faintly heard someone barreling through the doors to join you both outside. 

Saved by the bell, Johnny came running towards you both at a speed you hadn’t seen in literal years. “You two need to go inside. There’s zombies everywhere,” he panted out. 

You rolled your eyes. Everybody had said Johnny had grown up, and now he was talking about zombies. “Very funny, Johnny.”

Haechan snickered. You both clearly assumed he was joking, which was totally fair. For one, zombies were outrageous. But for two, Johnny had always loved to play silly tricks on his friends back in the day and you surmised that this was no different. 

“I’m serious,” Johnny said in a voice more stern than you had ever heard from him before. It was extremely unlike him. “I know it sounds crazy, but they’re surrounding the school!”

You and Haechan glanced at each other, sharing the same doubtful expression. But the look on Johnny’s face was weirdly authentic. 

In the middle of your telepathic exchange, you heard weird breathing coming from behind you and turned to see someone slowly but steadily climbing over the gate. They were stained almost head to toe in blood and there was a gnarly bruise on their face. And in that moment, you knew it wasn’t a lie. 

“Oh my god,” you gasped, the air fleeing your lungs. 

Johnny’s face darkened. “Let’s go. Right now.”

You didn’t even notice that you’d gone completely rigid. Haechan grabbed your hand and started pulling you along from the spot where you’d rooted in unwavering fear, dragging you back towards the school. 

The thudding in your chest was violent. It gave the throbbing pulse you got around Haechan a run for its money. You didn’t even know how to react to this kind of situation, other than running for dear life. And even that practically had to be done on your behalf. There was no prior experience to compare it to for reference. 

After what felt like an eternity of sprinting, the three of you locked yourselves inside the closest room with a door you could find, which happened to be the computer lab. The sole sound in the room was your collective panting, but the only thing you could hear was your pulse thudding in your ears. 

Johnny grabbed one of two tables pressed against the wall and began to drag it across the floor, obviously about to block the door. Which was a very rational, very logical response, but it made you flare up with concern. 

“Johnny, wait,” you said, eyes widening. “Mark. I don’t know if Mark is okay. The last time I saw him, he was with Xiu in the courtyard.”

Johnny paused, bracing his hands on the table, and glanced down as he tried to think. “It’s dangerous to go back out,” he warned. 

You knew that, but it didn’t change anything. No matter how infuriating Mark could be, you couldn’t rest until you knew he was safe. “I don’t care. He’s my little brother. I have to make sure he’s alright.”

“Then, I’m going with you,” Haechan said in a tone that left no room for argument. His fingers were still intertwined with yours. 

Johnny shook the hair out of his face. There was no doubt that he was against the idea, but he knew how important Mark was to you. “Fine. But you both need to be extremely careful. Okay?”

Haechan looked determined, brave. You didn’t know how he was keeping himself together while you were on the very verge of panic. “We’ll be fine. I won’t let anything happen to her.”

Your eyes darted back to Johnny. You didn’t want to leave him here on his own, but you knew he was capable of taking care of himself. “Do you want us to find Victoria?”

Johnny shook his head. “No. I told her to hide in one of the classrooms while I looked for you guys. She’s safe.”

You blew out a breath of relief. That was one less person you had to worry about. Now you just had to see if the others had found some kind of shelter, especially your stepbrother. “Good. You should be careful too. We’ll text you if we find out something,” you said, reluctant.

“I’ll be okay. Go,” Johnny told you firmly. 

Haechan didn’t need to be told twice. He gave Johnny a wordless nod and led you out of the lab, shutting the door behind you both as quietly as possible. There was no telling if the zombies had made their way inside yet, but you would much rather be safe than sorry.

Nothing about the hallways soothed your unease. They were alarmingly quiet and the only source of noise was the sound of your footsteps bouncing off the walls. The one thing providing you comfort was ironically Haechan’s hand gripping tightly onto yours, a gentle reminder of the fact that you weren’t alone. 

“I wonder if he’s still in the courtyard,” you whispered. “He can’t be, right? They would have seen something by now.”

Haechan wanted to tell you something reassuring, but he couldn’t bring himself to lie. He said your name calmly. “I don’t know. I hope not.”

You frowned. You couldn’t stand the uncertainty around Mark’s safety. He may not have been your blood, but he was still family and the only sibling you had. If you lost him to something as insane as undead creatures, it would shatter you irreparably.  

“Hey, we’re gonna find him,” Haechan told you softly, recognizing the look of dread on your face. “Don’t worry.”

“I really hope so,” you whispered. 

In total, there was one positive to this bizarre situation and that was that you didn’t have time or space to worry about the rift between you and your old lover. The threat of potentially losing each other permanently forced you to stick together in ways unlike anything you’d ever experienced. 

Literally. You were so close to Haechan, hand in hand with your side mere centimeters away from his hip, you couldn’t tell if it was the cause for your speeding heartbeat or the fear with its hand clasped tightly around your throat. Maybe it was both. 

Either way, you were in panic mode and it was becoming increasingly difficult to breathe. You were the queen of overthinking, and at the moment, it was all you could do not to compulsively think about Mark. If he was okay, if he and Xiu had managed to isolate themselves, and whether or not he was even aware of the dangers lurking just around the corner. 

You had so many questions. Many of them had to do with the mystery behind how there were even actual, legitimate zombies in the first place, but you knew no one around you would have answers. It was all completely insane, but you had seen the one climbing over the gate with your own eyes. It looked real and terrifying. 

There was a sudden sound. You knew you hadn’t made it up in your head, because Haechan tugged at your arm to keep you in place, hiding you behind him. 

“What is it?” you asked, trying to peek over his shoulders. 

Haechan put a finger to his lip, effectively quieting you. Had it been any other day, you would have playfully gotten on him for shushing you, but absolutely nothing about today was typical. 

The sound of footsteps caught your attention. You couldn’t see anything, but at the very least, you knew they were too fast to be zombies. It sounded like someone was scurrying down the halls as if they were being chased, which wasn’t an unreasonable assumption. 

Not a second later, Mark turned down the hallway with his fingers wound protectively around Xiu’s hand. His eyes lifted in surprise. “Dude,” he said, obviously shaken up. “You guys will never believe what we just saw.”

You took a wild guess and asked, “Zombies?”

Mark gawked. “How did you know?”

“We saw them too,” Haechan answered for you. “Johnny says they’re surrounding the school. We need to get somewhere safe.”

“Where should we go?” Xiu asked, eyes dampening with unshed tears. She had always been sensitive to every emotion imaginable.

Haechan shrugged. “Anywhere is better than the middle of the hallway right now.”

Mark scratched his head. “Well, the closest place I can think of is the gym. We can at least head there to make a plan.”

You nodded, taking a deep breath to stabilize yourself. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s not a bad idea. Let’s do it.”

No one argued. The four of you were quick to beetle down the halls in the direction of the school’s gym as if you were being hunted like prey. But the fact that there were more than two of you provided some easy reassurance. 

You were remembering how long the hallways were and exactly why they gave you eight minutes to travel from class to class, though even that didn’t feel like enough at times. Granted, you used to spend half that time kissing and making out, but that was only natural. You were grateful there weren’t thousands of students to shove past at the moment. 

There were a few times where you’d almost tripped over your own legs with how quickly you were sprinting, and when you finally rounded the corner to the gym, the four of you hurried inside, checking for even the smallest indication of undead interference. It didn’t seem like they had made their way inside yet. Still, you knew it was only a matter of time before they did, so you texted Johnny and the others your whereabouts. 

The hope was that everyone would be able to meet up safely at one place, in one piece. Your best bet at survival would be to stick together, rather than individually trying to take all of those monsters on your own. You tried to call the police with that same logic, but no calls would connect. 

More importantly, you hadn’t heard from Taeyong or Jaehyun since you’d briefly spoken to them in the hallway, and that thought made you more than a little anxious. Their chances of survival were decent as long as they hadn’t gone to the courtyard or something, but at the same time, being indoors meant you had to assume they didn’t know about the danger on the horizon. 

“Guys, I can’t wrap my head around this,” you said out loud, sitting next to Haechan on the bleachers. He scooted over, finally giving you some room to breathe. “Zombies?”

“Man, it looked real,” Mark said, shaking his head in disbelief. 

That was the problem. It looked real, but there was no logical explanation behind why it was even possible. “No, that’s what I thought too, but it still doesn’t make sense. Are we sure we’re not being pranked?”

Haechan shook his head. “I don’t think it’s a prank. I saw that thing. It wasn’t human. It was like an animal.” 

Silence draped over the gym like a gloomy, giant thundercloud. “I’m scared,” Xiu confessed after a beat. 

Mark threw his arms over Xiu and held her tightly in his embrace. “We’ll be okay, Xiu. The others will get here soon and we’ll all make a plan to get the hell out of here.”

Right on time, Johnny came in with Victoria in tow. You hadn’t seen her until now and she looked absolutely horrified. Their hands were gripping onto each other so tightly you would think they had seen a ghost. 

And even ghosts somehow seemed better than dead men walking. 

The first thing Johnny did after sitting Victoria down was take a headcount, and he looked very displeased with the number he’d calculated. “Where’s Jaehyun and Taeyong?”

“We don’t know,” Mark replied, shuddering with cold dread. “We texted everyone, but I don’t think they’ve responded.”

You double, even triple-checked your phone, hoping to see some kind of confirmation that they were doing okay, but there was nothing new. “It’s radio silence. There’s no telling if they even know what’s going on.”

Johnny mumbled something under his breath you couldn’t hear with the sheer amount of distance between you, but you didn’t need to in order to tell that he was thinking precisely the same thing you were. There were what you could only think of as real life monsters surrounding the school, two of your friends were unaccounted for, and you had no feasible way out. 

“Sitting here doesn’t feel right,” Mark said, brows stitched. He was obviously deep in thought. “I think we should go look for them.”

Johnny was quick to shoot him down. “No, it’s too dangerous. There’s no way of telling if we’ll make it back.”

“And what about them?” Mark asked, ever altruistic. 

Johnny countered, “What good will it do if we all die trying to be heroes?”

That was a fair point and Mark knew it. You didn’t all have to potentially die. He was silent and sulky for a minute, tearing his eyes away. “I still don’t like it,” he grumbled. 

Haechan spoke up. “Think about it, Mark. We don’t know where they are. We have no means of self-defense. What are you gonna do if something pops up behind you? Scream for dear life?” 

“He’s right, Mark. We can’t go,” Xiu said, trying to persuade him from committing to something he would never be able to undo. 

Mark tensed with frustration. “Then, what do you guys suggest? Staying here forever?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea either,” Haechan replied, glancing at the two entrances. “If those things break in, they have two options to enter through and we’d be trapped.”

Johnny didn’t waver. “Well, we just won’t let them break in.”

Haechan scoffed. “With what tools?”

Mark stood up like lightning, as if to say that he rested his case. “Exactly. We’re gonna need to go back out one way or another.”

Exasperated with the back and forth, you chimed in, “Maybe that’s true, but we definitely are safest here. There’s room for all of us and a water fountain, plus this is the only spot with an easily accessible bathroom.”

Mark nodded along and added, “Yeah, and we obviously can’t stay here forever, but we’re gonna be here a while if we can’t get in contact with the cops. We gotta make this place extra secure so that it’ll hold us longer.”

No one could deny the truth of that either, because the reality of the situation was that no place was inherently safe. You had to condition it. Disgruntled, Johnny reluctantly agreed, “That’s true. We don’t know how long we’re gonna be here, so we need supplies.”

You heard the doors being drawn open followed by rapid footsteps and the dialogue in the room came to a grinding halt as you each waited with bated breath to see who was coming from around the corner. 

A collective breath of relief wafted through the gym when Taeyong and Jaehyun walked through the left entrance. 

“Thank god,” Johnny said, immediately coming to a stand and draping his arms around his best friends. 

When he was free again, Taeyong released a breath and looked amongst the gym much like Johnny had, content with the number of less than happy faces he saw. “We got your text, but it was a little too late when I saw it. We had to hide out for a bit in one of the classrooms but a lot of them are locked, so it was a mess.”

You frowned. So, the monsters had made their way inside. You were royally fucked. 

“Hey, what matters is that you’re here,” Johnny replied, giving Taeyong a pat on the back. “We decided that we’re gonna go back out. The gym is good, but there’s room for improvement.”

Jaehyun’s brows furrowed. “We’re going somewhere else?”

Johnny explained that you guys had gone back and forth about the next best course of action, and ultimately came to the conclusion that you had to strengthen your hideout. “We’re gonna be here a while. We need to make this place a little more sustainable.”

You got to your feet, mentally preparing yourself to potentially encounter one of those nightmarish creatures. “Yes. We need food for when we get hungry, first aid for if we get injured, and some kind of weapon to defend ourselves for obvious reasons,” you told them reasonably. 

Haechan was still sitting at the bleachers, deciding not to give chase, but his voice was loud enough for everyone to hear him. “I think we break into pairs,” he urged, seeming fully prepared to support his recommendation if necessary. “Safety in numbers.”

But no one argued. It was obviously smarter than traveling individually, and would allow you to hit more places quicker than if you moved as one whole group. “Jaehyun and I can go to the infirmary and see if there’s a first aid kid lying around,” Taeyong volunteered. 

Jaehyun nodded in acceptance. “We can do that, but where would we get food?”

“There’s snacks in Dr. Nam’s classroom. It’s unlocked,” Taeyong replied. His knowledge was coming in handy. “It’s not much, but it’s better than a headache. I’m sure she’s got granola bars.”

“We can take care of that,” Mark replied, rubbing circles on Xiu’s back. “Sounds easy enough. I just don’t know what kind of weapons we can get our hands on. I mean, there’s hand sanitizer?”

You gaped, suddenly thinking of something. “Oh my god. Principal Myeong. Do you think his shotgun is still in his office?”

Johnny shrugged. “There’s no harm in finding out.”

“I’ll go with you,” Haechan said, finally rising from the bleachers. 

You swallowed, but you didn’t turn him down. It wasn’t like you were going to ask Johnny or Victoria to come with you instead when they obviously wanted to be together. “Okay.”

Johnny stretched his arms over his head, and as if to confirm your suspicions, he said, “Then, I guess Vicky and I will stay and check if there’s any blind spots.”

You nodded. It was settled. You were going to be traveling with Haechan to hopefully locate a shotgun, and you prayed you didn’t make things awkward in the process. Entire lives were dependent upon this treasure hunt. 

Haechan gingerly grabbed your arm and led you out of the gym with slow, cautious steps, neither of which you argued against. He was falling back into that familiar pattern of the way things used to be. “Let’s go before we meet any unwelcome visitors,” was all he said. 

Maybe you were falling back too. It was easier now you were terrified half to death and in abundant need of emotional support, because it was perfectly reasonable that you were clinging onto his body for dear life. And if anybody asked, your excuse would be that you just needed a companion. 

The front office was very far away, on the total opposite end of the school, which meant that there was ample time to hash out the obvious elephant in the room, the unspoken fracture in your relationship. Something you had no plans to do, but Haechan wasn’t on the same page. He had only let you go by force, not by will. 

Haechan lasted a whole five minutes and half before he couldn’t help himself from saying, “I feel like we have something to talk about.”

You peered up at him, briefly giving the hallway a break from your scoping to meet his eyes which were already locked on you. Your heart flipped. “Something like the fact that we all might die?”

Haechan almost rolled his eyes. He could tell you were actually worried, but he could also tell that this monster outbreak was convenient for you. It lent you the perfect opportunity to deflect your feelings, which you had always been exceptional at doing. With everyone except him, of course. “Is that your final guess?”

You didn’t need to guess. You already knew, you just didn’t want to talk about it. “I don’t think right now is a good time.”

“Now or never, beautiful,” he flirted, persistent. 

You would think he would behave as if he had more situational awareness, all things considered. But Haechan would always be unapologetically himself, even if the world was ending. That was what you had loved about him to a fault. “What is there to talk about? It’s been years.”

“Exactly,” Haechan said, like that was his very point. “I miss you.”

Your eyes widened a little more than they should have. Haechan had always been adamant and shameless. “I miss you too,” you confessed with some reluctance. 

Haechan raised a brow, delighted. He hadn’t been expecting you to say that and it only encouraged him to see what else he could push you into admitting. And he was very much unafraid of riling you up solely to pull it off. “How can you miss me when you left me?” he asked, feigning annoyance. 

Like he expected, you immediately bristled. You had spoken to him in depth about the rationale behind your departure, the damaged relationship with your parents and how you wanted to take control of your own life. He knew exactly why you’d skipped town. “Are you serious?”

Haechan kept going, “I loved you so much, and you just left me and everything we could have had together. Everything we should have had.”

You had never been one to raise your voice, so it was ironic that in the one situation where you suddenly became overwhelmed by the urge, it would have been the stupidest mistake you could’ve made at the moment. “You know why I left,” you replied, willing yourself to remain calm. “You told me you understood.”

Haechan shrugged. “I do understand. That doesn’t change how I feel.”

That only made you angrier and you asked, “What did you want me to do? Stay here for you at my own expense? Knowing I was miserable here?”

“We could have figured something out,” Haechan replied, although even he didn’t believe that. Not anymore, at least. When he was younger, he used to be bitter and think about ways to keep you together. Now it sounded like a fairytale. 

You shook your head. “I never wanted to leave you, you know that. You were never the problem. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think about you and wonder how you’re doing. So don’t act like I ran away on our wedding day or something.”

Haechan softened, almost dropping the act. Hearing that made thunder shoot through his heart. You still thought about him and pictured his face, the same way he still pictured yours? “You still think about me?”

You wondered if you’d been too honest. Seeing the remorseful look in his eyes, you were starting to piece together that he was deliberately provoking you to get the reaction he was looking for, and you chastised yourself for falling into his trap. “You’re fucking with me.”

With nothing to say in his defense, Haechan merely grinned. “It took you this long to notice? I’m unimpressed. And severely disappointed.”

You suppressed a sound of annoyance, even though you were relieved. He was still making you think about things you’d rather not think about and feel things you’d rather not feel. Those old emotions were coming back up. Buried, but uncovered. They were never dead, they just didn’t have anything to trigger them until now. 

The thing about your breakup with Haechan was that it was a completely mutual, amicable decision. There was never any animosity. Maybe it would be easier to let him go if you’d hated him, but Haechan had done nothing but be both an amazing boyfriend and your best friend. Things just didn’t work out. 

At the end of the day, you chose to put yourself first. And it was the best thing you could have ever done for yourself and for your happiness, but you were never not thinking about who else it affected. “You could have just asked me how I feel,” you murmured. 

“Would you have told me?” Haechan asked, a knowing look on his face. 

You were silent for a long while, which made the answer a dead giveaway. “That’s not fair.”

“When have you ever known me to play fair? I gotta make sure I always win somehow,” Haechan said, deliberately bumping into you ever so gently to make you sway. 

You stumbled a little, but Haechan was quick to help you steady yourself. He hadn’t forgotten about the monsters roaming the school, supposedly inside now even though you’d both yet to see or hear any. You sighed and said, “Yeah, nothing about you is fair.”

It wasn’t fair. That he was so goddamn handsome, even more than he had been a whole decade ago, with those same kissable lips that had gotten you in trouble more times than you could count. That every second you weren’t here was another second he probably had his tongue down another girl’s throat. And that life had forced you into a cold compromise. 

Haechan didn’t know if you could tell whether he’d been serious or not, but for some reason, he felt the need to clarify. “Hey, for the record, I wasn’t lying when I said I miss you. I really do. You were my first love.” And my last too. 

“And you were mine,” you replied, a vague but all too familiar feeling slowly festering in your stomach as you locked eyes with him. The dangerous recklessness you got whenever he was in arm’s reach. 

What Haechan didn’t know was that he was the one who had given you the courage to leave. You had been the girl with a major stick up her ass before you met him. He was quick and witty and impulsive. He had shown you that you could be more than what your parents envisioned for you and you didn’t have to be afraid of breaking the mold. 

Haechan was strategically stopping you both at every corner, making sure to check the next hall before you ventured that direction. He used this opportunity to pull you flush against him, his hand brushing against your forearm so faintly it almost tickled. “I do still think about what could have been,” he admitted quietly. “But I know that’s not what you needed.”

It was a bitter pill to swallow for the both of you, but there was no denying that it was true. You couldn’t go straight to getting married and having kids with him, even if you loved him. You would have been trapped in a marriage that defined you, with no way of knowing who you really were or what you were really capable of. “Johnny told me you’re single,” you told him, faint. 

Haechan nodded, watching the way your hands clasped onto his leather. There was a whole whirlwind of memories blurring through his mind. “Yeah. I’m not built for a romantic life. I’m hard and fast.”

You could have laughed, but you were being mindful of your noise levels. Haechan reminded you of the metropolis - always on the grind, always in motion. He would have loved the city you’d moved to. “If I remember correctly, you’re bold, loyal and passionate. All good things. What’s stopping you from being like Johnny?”

“I never found another you,” Haechan whispered.

Your heart was hammering in your chest. Your breath was out the window entirely. So many years had gone by, but he was still irrevocably stuck on you. “You want another one of me?”

“Don’t be crazy,” Haechan said, shaking his hand. “I want you. You’re all I’ve ever wanted. And I decided a long time ago that if I can’t have you, then I’ll die by myself.”

He sounded so sure, so resolved. Like he had completely eliminated all other options. No matter how hard he tried, he would never find someone who measured up to the standard you had set for him. You swallowed the lump in your throat, reaching for his hand, and replied, “You’re not dying alone.”

Haechan lifted a brow. Your left hand was already intertwined with his right hand, so to be holding both of his hands might have seemed like overkill, but it made his heart race with a breed of thrill that he’d been convinced was long gone. 

After passing by a few more hallways and miraculously staying clear of any zombies, you finally reached the front office. Haechan opened the double doors and held them for you while you walked inside. 

The office was completely empty. No one was there, although that didn’t necessarily come as a shock. Your first thought was to try using the phone to get in contact with the outside world, but that didn’t work either. You exhaled deeply, frustrated. 

Haechan put a comforting hand on your back and led you to the principal’s office. “Let’s see what he’s got in here.”

You glanced around. The two of you had been here, together, more than once. You were lovebirds and the teachers hated to see it. They also had hated to see you fucking in the locker room, which you had gotten mandatory lunch detention for a week because of. Then, it got extended to two weeks, because you wouldn’t stop passing notes behind the teacher’s back. 

The memory made your breath hitch. It was all you could do not to sweat on the spot like a total idiot. You never knew who you were when you were with Haechan, but you liked her. 

“You gotta be quiet, baby,” Haechan told you, whispering in your ear. His hands were secure on your waist, supporting you as you sat on his thighs. 

The boys’ locker room was void of life, save for the two of you stacked on one of the brand new benches. With how hard you were riding him, Haechan felt like you were stealing his soul and giving him life all at the same time. You were his God and he had every intention of worshiping you like the beautiful deity you were. 

You clammed your hands on his shoulders to anchor yourself, knowing you would sink into an endless reservoir of him otherwise. “I’m trying,” you whined. 

“Try harder,” Haechan said, despite knowing damn well that you were doing your absolute best not to make any noise. It was hard; the way he filled you turned you into a lawless animal. 

In retaliation, you yanked his hair, drawing a loud whine out of him. He hadn’t expected that, but he wasn’t complaining. He was your beautiful boy with a very advanced pain kink. You slowly rode to the tip of his dick, tugging his head back by his dark strands, and locked eyes with him for a long while. 

Haechan breathlessly met your gaze. The eye contact was intense. It was like you were staring into each other’s souls, searching for fire and being burned by its passion. Then, you tightened your grip on his messy black hair and pulled him for an even messier kiss. 

It was out of control. There was no rhythm, no rhyme. If anybody was watching, they would have assumed you were two hopeless virgins that didn’t know what to do with each other. Your lips met in a wild clash of teeth and tongues, drinking in one another like you were starving. 

Haechan was a wreck. The things you did to him were unspeakable. Your body was his favorite addiction and fucking you in a locker room that neither of you had any business inside of (he never played sports) was arguably an incredible source of adrenaline. Kissing you always made his heart throb with a mind of its own. 

As if the pleasure wasn’t already soaring high, you slammed back down on his cock in the middle of the kiss, and Haechan moaned into your mouth. He broke away, arms tightening around your waist. “Fuck.”

You giggled, having expected that reaction. You knew what he liked, and you knew what he loved. “What was that about being quiet?”

Haechan tipped his head back. You were making him insane with lust, with need. “You’re driving me crazy.”

“I think I’m riding you crazy,” you purred, continuing to roll your hips. You wanted to see him unravel, to see him break, even if you already knew what that sight looked like. You were picturing it in your head. His flushed face, his parted lips, and his whiny moans. 

“Fuck,” Haechan repeated, unable to conjure up any other words in his mind that would adequately convey the feelings you gave him.

You chuckled, because you knew exactly what he was going through and it made you very satisfied with yourself. You could feel it too. The ecstasy hammering through you in waves of warmth, submerging you beneath its surface. It was a potent drug of its own lethality, but that never stopped you from getting too close to the edge.

The point of no return. You had crossed it the second Haechan tempted you into becoming this wanton version of yourself. A girl who had tasted pleasure and was now on a perpetual journey to feel that good again. You never wanted to stop. You couldn’t stop. 

“You feel so good,” you whispered, steadying yourself with his shoulders again. You knew you had been impatient, knew this could have waited until after school, but he made you crave him to an extent that you had never craved anything before. 

Haechan swallowed, fighting for breath. The way your voice sounded when you were nearing the brink of climax would be the death of him. He moved his hand underneath your skirt, steering them to your ass where he knew you liked being touched. Your mouth opened, a few soft pants escaping. 

You were nothing short of ravenous as you rode him with enough vigor to bend heaven and earth to your will. This was the taking, the conquering. Haechan belonged to you just as much as you belonged to him. The animal inside you was slowly but surely losing the battle against the woman.

“Fuck. Fuck. I’m coming,” Haechan whispered, his face tensing as he wrestled with his impending orgasm. You could tell he was trying to fight it, not wanting to come just yet, but it was too late. His fate was sealed. 

You didn’t slow down like some people would think to do. You went faster. Haechan cursed underneath his breath, mumbling something about how you must have been trying to kill him, and surrendered to your body. If this was how he died, with you on top of him making his dick feel things he never knew were possible, then so be it.  

The entire locker room was filled with your shared sounds. His moans and yours and the wet squelch of your bodies meeting. It was almost suffocating. With how hot and stuffy the air seemed, you would have thought one of the showers were running. 

Haechan couldn’t take it anymore and he shuddered with climax, overcome by how ruthlessly you were riding him. His nails dug into your hips with more force than he intended, but you didn’t mind the pain. If anything, the sting only encouraged you. You soaked in the way he cried out your name and felt your own body approaching the brink.

“Good boy,” you whispered in his ear, not stopping. You weren’t done with him yet.

Haechan felt his mouth run dry. You were completely in control right now, completely in charge of his body, mind and soul. You fucking owned him and he wasn’t ashamed to shout it from the rooftops. No one would ever come close to satisfying him the way you did.

Your hips moved faster as you endeavor to finish yourself, using his cock to get yourself off. Which, to Haechan, was the hottest thing ever. He didn’t mind being at your disposal one bit, especially if it meant he got to watch in awe as you drove yourself to the end. 

And his cock could stay hard for almost just as long as you needed it to. There was something about you that he never got tired of. The body never lied, and his was obsessed with your entire existence. 

You finally reached your climax, your mouth hanging wide open while you came with soft gasps. Your hands were tightly braced onto Haechan’s shoulders as the heat wrecked through you from head to toe. It was a powerful orgasm and you enjoyed every second of it. Haechan did too. You throbbed around his dick and made that pretty fucking face he couldn’t get enough of. 

Haechan was still trying to collect his breath when you stilled against him. He laced his arms around your back, pulling you close. “My god. That was crazy.”

You nodded in agreement, resting your head on his shoulder in place of your hands and moving them to his chest. “And you said I couldn’t be a dom.”

Haechan rolled his eyes. “Yeah, calling me ‘good boy’ doesn’t make you a dom, beautiful.”

“You seemed to really like it though,” you quipped, never skipping out on the opportunity to tease him. 

“You could piss in my coffee and I would like it.”

You grimaced, climbing off of him. “Way to ruin the mood, babe.”

Haechan laughed. He grabbed you, pulling you flush against him, and smashed his lips against yours. 

You smiled into the kiss. 

That was one of many times you’d had sex together in that room, and fortunately the only one you’d gotten caught doing it. You remembered how heavenly it felt to be tangled in his arms, to be closer than close and as threaded together as you were physically allowed. 

Haechan had meant everything to you. That man shook your world. He showed you how to reject expectations and to unabashedly live in your truth. He taught you how to be bold, how to be brave, and how to stand up for yourself. And he had loved you the way you deserved to be loved, without conditions. He loved you just because you were you. 

It had got you thinking. If there was more to life than your grapple with control and festering resentment for your emotionally unavailable mother and emotionally unstable father, if someone could love you without you having to stretch yourself thin to meet some golden standard, then there had to be another route you could take other than the one you’d resigned yourself to so long ago.

So you made the decision to leave. And sometimes you looked back, but you never regretted it. You did what was in your best interest and you were a happier person now that you lived somewhere where your parents couldn’t steal your whole life away.

“Earth to my beautiful queen,” Haechan said, waving his hand in front of your face.

You blinked in surprise and stepped back. When the hell did he get in front of you? “Sorry. I spaced out.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” Haechan replied, chuckling. “What were you thinking about?”

Your face burned. Like hell you were going to tell him that you had been reminiscing about the time you rode him halfway to hell in the fucking locker room. “Nothing. I just went somewhere else for a minute.”

Haechan smirked, but if he had any inkling about where your mind had wandered, he didn’t say a word about it. “Well, I need you here. I think Principal Myeong’s gun is in that safe, but it has a code.”

You glanced over to the safe he’d pointed to. It was definitely big enough to harbor a shotgun, which you doubted was even legal for him to have on campus, but you weren’t necessarily eager to get into that at the moment. “If I was Principal Myeong, what would be my safe code?”

Haechan shrugged, thinking about it. “His mom’s birthday?”

Your eyes narrowed. “How in the hell would we figure that out?”

Again, Haechan shrugged his shoulders. He was just spitting things out. “How the hell should I know? Look in his calendar.”

“He has to hate his mother if he doesn’t remember her birthday,” you grumbled, shaking your head. You were also convinced that with his age, she was probably dead. But to your surprise, his mother’s birthday was marked in his calendar. 

When Haechan entered the number, however, the safe didn’t unlock. 

He groaned. “Damn. Maybe he’s a Daddy’s boy.”

You snickered and stepped away from the calendar on the wall to join him beside the safe. “Come on. If you were Principal Myeong, what would your safe code be?”

Haechan tried to think. He was pondering hard, judging from the look on his face. “I have no idea. Probably the address of Mrs. Kim’s husband.”

You giggled. There had been rumors, back in the day, that your former biology teacher was sleeping with the principal. After that, there were even more rumors that she and her husband had separated. “Try her birthday. I remember it, because she wouldn’t shut up about a birthday trip to the Bahamas. November twelfth.”

Haechan didn’t look too convinced, but he entered the numbers anyway, looking bored as all hell.

The look on his face when it actually clicked open was priceless.

“Oh my god,” he gasped. “You’re a genius.”

Your eyes widened. You hadn’t been expecting it to actually work. “Um, I feel like I know too much information now.”

Haechan laughed and did the honor of retrieving the shotgun from the safe, which, for some reason, he knew how to check for ammunition. “She’s loaded,” he said casually.

You raised a brow. “Why do you know how to do that?”

“I saw someone do it on a show,” Haechan replied offhandedly. “It’s not that hard.”

“Oh, brother,” you groaned. This weapon was not in good hands. 

Haechan chuckled at your obvious doubt. “Don’t worry. No one will get hurt who doesn’t need to.” 

You didn’t know if you should have believed him, but you hoped that you could. There was no way in hell you were going to take it off his hands. The idea of carrying any kind of weapon capable of discharging a lethal projectile was thoroughly unappealing to someone like you. 

With few other options, you exhaled through your nose and replied, “Fine, but if someone does get hurt because of this, I reject all accountability.”

“Fine by me,” Haechan chirped, sounding so confident in himself. “Let’s go, beautiful. We had a smooth trip here, so I’m hoping for one back.”

Only five minutes later, you saw Jaehyun and Taeyong running down the hallway like they were being chased by a killer with a chainsaw.

“What the hell?” you whispered under your breath. 

Taeyong saw you both first and he started gesturing down the hall with his free hand, the other clasping tightly onto a first aid kit. “Move. Move. Move!”

You didn’t remember zombies being particularly quick if the movies checked out, so for them to be in such a hurry, you had to assume there were many of them in close proximity. That was enough to make you snatch Haechan’s hand and start sprinting down the hallway like you had everything to lose. 

“How many?” Haechan asked as the two of you started running more or less beside the others. 

“Way too goddamn many to count,” Jaehyun said through labored pants. He looked damn near out of breath, but if needed, he would run until his legs gave out. 

That was some of the worst news you could have received at the moment. The gym was on the totally opposite side of the school and running there from where you were would exhaust you thoroughly. To say nothing of the fact that there was no telling where else they were located on this floor. There could have been more ahead. 

“Haechan,” you called out. “Can you shoot any of them?”

Haechan glanced back for a split second. He could see a crowd of zombies distantly making their way around the corner, but they were far enough that you could lose them if you kept moving. “I could, but I don’t think that’s necessary if we can make it back to the gym first. We don’t need to waste bullets.”

He made a decent point. With how many monsters were currently in the building right now and how many you didn’t even know were around in total, it would be in your best interest to keep yourselves safe and capable of fighting back. “That’s fair.”

You stayed close to Haechan as you ran. That belligerent hammering had returned to your chest, only this time you could hear it thumping against your ears too. It was like playing a scary game with a threatening, demonic soundtrack reverberating in the back, only this was real life. 

When you least expected it, another pack of zombies emerged from the hallway on your left and you had to do an abrupt zigzag to stay out of arm’s reach. You managed to steer away at the last second, but Jaehyun wasn’t so fortunate. Three zombies got a hold of him and one bit him on his shoulder. 

You gawked in unadulterated horror as Jaehyun let out a blood-curdling scream, sinking onto his knees. “Jae,” you cried, letting go of Haechan’s hand and rushing to pull him back. 

Jaehyun grappled your leg and scraped his nails over your exposed calf, making you holler out in pain, and you jolted back as he bore his teeth like he was preparing to sink them into you. 

Taeyong pulled you away while Haechan started opening fire on anyone that dared go near you, thankfully sparing Jaehyun. The wounded monsters slowed, but they didn’t stop chasing. It gave you just enough advantage to outrun them all. The second you were a safe distance apart, the boys started dragging you away. 

It was even harder to run with the bloody scratch on your leg, but you gave it all you had to offer, mustering the strength to push forward. You could barely think. You just knew you had to keep going and you couldn’t stop until you were somewhere safe. 

The closest possible place on the first floor was the library and the three of you barreled inside like you had a flight to catch that was about to leave with you, bursting through the doors without a second thought. You knelt on the floor and watched as the boys started to barricade the door off with anything they could find. 

As soon as they were pleased with the numbers of book-heavy carts shoved in front of the door, Taeyong rushed to your side with the first aid kid, opening it immediately. “Are you okay? How bad does it hurt?”

“I’m fine,” you replied, obviously still shaken up. Your mind was still struggling to process and accept what had happened. “It could have been a lot worse.”

“You could have gotten bit,” Haechan said, filling in the blanks. He sounded angry. “Why would you do that?”

Your eyes flickered in surprise. “Jaehyun’s our friend. I wanted to help him, just like you guys helped me. How was I supposed to know he was going to try and bite me?”

Haechan tempered, realizing he was being too harsh. “I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. I just don’t want anything bad happening to you.”

You cursed as Taeyong started to clean the wound. It was shocking for a scratch caused by human nails, but nothing that you would have to worry about long term. None of which stopped it from stinging like a bitch. 

Taeyong draped your leg over his knee so that he could access it better, all the while Haechan hovered over you both with a worried look. “Is it deep?” the latter asked.

“Like she said, it could have been a hell of a lot worse,” Taeyong replied, attentively tending to your injury. His face softened every time he heard you hiss. “She’ll be okay. It’s not that bad.”

Haechan sighed in relief. He hated the thought of anything going bad with you. One wrong move or late reaction and you would have been as good as dead. 

After a few minutes, Taeyong put a bandaid on your scrape and said that you were as good as new, closing the kit back. You all waited a few minutes to gauge whether or not the coast was clear, quickly and meticulously making your way back to the gym before there could be any encores. 

The three of you released a collective breath of relief when you stepped inside, immediately catching the attention of Johnny and Victoria.

Ever attentive, the former was quick to notice the bandaid on your leg, which most definitely hadn’t been there before, and asked, “Damn, already? What happened to her?”

You shook your head, not wanting to think about it. “I’m fine,” was the only thing you could bring yourself to say. All that you had left to recover from was the fresh wound of what you’d just lost. 

Johnny was confused by your curt answer. He immediately sensed that something wasn’t right and glanced between the three of you. “What did you say it like that for? And where’s Jaehyun?”

No one said anything. You looked at the ground. Taeyong swallowed the lump in his throat. How did you tell someone that their best friend since childhood was bitten and taken by undead monsters?

The only one with enough courage to tell him the truth, Haechan spoke up, “He’s gone, Johnny.”

Johnny’s face went grim. His lips parted, but Victoria beat him to a word, exclaiming, “What do you mean he’s gone?”

Haechan ran a hand through his messy hair, taking a deep breath, and explained, “He got bit. They blindsided us. There was nothing we could do.” 

“You left him?” Johnny asked incredulously. 

“There was nothing we could do,” Haechan replied again, firmer. 

Johnny tensed in a blend of anger and frustration and heartache. Victoria took him into her arms and that was the last thing you saw before you tore your eyes away and went to sit on the bleachers again. You couldn’t bear to watch him suffer through the same grief wrecking through your body like an infectious virus. 

If not worse. You knew what Jaehyun meant to Johnny. You all did. They were brothers, blood be damned. You knew that if you lost your brother you would never be the same, and that thought had you actively fearing for Mark’s life. Every second he wasn’t here was another second he could be dead or infected. 

It was all you could do not to pace around the gym like a mad woman with way too much caffeine in her system. You were worried sick, giving it your all not to assume the worst, but it was much easier said than done. You couldn’t shake the feeling that the worst had yet to come. 

Haechan was standing in the corner with a blank look on his face, most likely trying to process the trauma of watching his friend get dragged away by monsters. You wondered if you should talk to him. It would be a good way to take both your minds off the dark side of today. 

Who else would you talk to anyway? Johnny looked half a second away from falling apart. Victoria was selflessly trying to console him in the midst of her own despair. Taeyong looked like he was struggling with guilt and didn’t want to be bothered. 

The only one you figured could alleviate the persistent thoughts racing through your head at a thousand miles per hour was Haechan. He had been good at it in the past, making everything seem okay in the face of adversity even though that with every second spent apart, you had thought your world was crumbling. 

You had to stay on top of what you could control, because those were the only things you had right now. The tension was tight as hell and you were overwhelmingly aware of the odds here. You guys had phones, but no signal. No way to contact people and alert them that you were in danger. And attempting to evacuate the school would be too risky. 

You had no idea what was out there waiting for you, nor did you have any desire to find out. The sneak peek in the hallway with Jaehyun was more than enough. 

Finally, you mustered the courage to approach him, hoping you wouldn’t regret it immediately after, and announced, “I have a question.”

Haechan lifted a brow, expectant. “Hit me.”

“Do you still stay hard after you come?”

Haechan’s eyes went wide with shock at your question for all of two seconds before he burst into laughter. “Jesus, woman,” he replied, taken aback. “What kind of question is that?”

You shrugged. The sound of his laugh was still melodious, like a heaven choir. “I was just wondering.”

“I see,” Haechan said with amusement, bobbing his head. “And to answer your question, I only stayed hard for you because you really turned me on.”

You blinked. Well, that was certainly an answer. “Oh. Wow.”

Haechan didn’t seem to think it was all that surprising. “Yeah. Wow, right?”

You laughed, glancing away. It was ironic that you had been the one to ask him such a bold question and now you were getting shy.

Haechan observed your body language. He could see that you had gotten flustered, but that wasn’t what stood out to him. You looked startled, tense. And you had every right to be. “I’d ask you if you were okay, but I can tell that you’re not,” he said softly. 

You smiled thinly. It was all you could muster at the moment, all things considered. “I used to think that running away from home and leaving behind everything I knew, everyone I loved, would be the scariest thing I ever did. But this? This is some spooky shit.”

“I thought losing you forever would be the scariest thing for me,” Haechan whispered. “And I still do.”

Everything about that confession broke your heart. You had never wanted to make him feel like that. Haechan could never lose you, not when it was the picture of his face and the memory of his love that used to get you through every day. You sighed. “Why did we stop being together?”

Haechan almost chuckled. He didn’t know if you were seriously asking, but he decided to humor you. “We wanted different things out of life. You wanted to go find yourself in the big city and I never got bored of home.”

You snorted. “How ironic.”

Haechan nodded in agreement. After all, this city wasn’t particularly small, but it wasn’t as big as your new one either. You just wanted a change of pace. And Haechan, for all his hatred of routine, had struggled to accept that. “I think I still love you. Because when I saw your face for the first time today, it gave me hope. And now that we’re standing here, not knowing what’s next, all I feel is dread.”

You could feel that dread too. It wrapped its calloused hand around your throat and asphyxiated you. “Do you remember the night before I left?”

Haechan nodded, face tensing with something wistful. “I don’t think I can ever forget it. And trust me, I’ve tried.”

You remembered it too. It was the last night you ever saw Haechan face to face. You were twenty years old, moving out of the house you had spent every single last one those years trapped inside of, and about to kiss goodbye the single best relationship you’d ever had. And the first one that had really meant something special. 

Haechan’s room was dark, but you could see enough thanks to the moonlight penetrating through his window with the curtains drawn open. You had been staying in his house for the past week and making love every day while his parents weren’t home. 

Even then, he was on top of you, rocking into you with languid thrusts. It wasn’t really his style, but it was also the nth round of many and you were both tired. Though he couldn’t get enough of your body and he didn’t want to be apart from you knowing that not a moment of your relationship wouldn’t matter the second you boarded your flight in the morning. 

So this one had to count for something. 

“I’m gonna miss you,” you whispered. You thought you would be saying that a lot lately, but the reality was that you had held your tongue for the past week, desperate to ignore the finality in every action you took. 

Haechan had been hoping you wouldn’t. It wasn’t that he wasn’t going to miss you - he was going to be sick to his stomach without you, but he didn’t need a reminder that you were leaving him, even if it stared him in the face every day. You may not have realized it, but every time you made eye contact, you looked at him like you were about to leave your heart in his lap.

“I’m gonna miss you more. You have no idea,” Haechan said, forgoing his grip on your hips to intertwine his fingers with yours. 

You squeezed his hand, closing your eyes and releasing a shaky breath. “You won’t hate me for this, will you?”

Haechan recoiled in surprise. “Why would I ever hate you?”

You shook your head. You knew it was irrational. That being said, that didn’t stop you from being afraid of what was to come in the very near future. “I just… I thought you would feel betrayed. We made a lot of promises together and now we’re breaking them because I can’t be here anymore.”

Haechan sucked in a breath. He figured it would be best to think over what he was going to say before he let it spill from his mouth. “I don’t hate you. I will never hate you. I understand why you’re leaving and I’m happy for you, because I know that you’ll be happier there.”

“What if I leave and it’s not what I’m hoping for it to be?” you asked. 

Haechan countered promptly, “What if you leave and it’s everything you want it to be and more?”

“Everything I want and more would be for us to go to a whimsical place far away from here where we can be together until the day we die, but that’s not realistic.”

“Dreams are never realistic. That’s what makes them dreams. It’s up to you to make them real,” Haechan replied, meeting your eyes and never daring to look away no matter how much it pained him. 

You sighed. He could be so wise when he wanted to be.

Haechan took a minute to collect himself and continued, “I want you to chase your dreams, baby. Even if it hurts me in the process. Because what would hurt me more is knowing that you’re unsatisfied and putting up with something just because you think it’s what I want.”

In that moment, you finally realized how lucky you had gotten with him. You always knew you were lucky, but right now you felt like the luckiest girl in the world. And at the same time, you felt like fate wasn’t on your side. “I’m so scared, Haechan.”

“I’m scared for you,” he admitted, poignant. “My mind keeps screaming with thoughts of things that could go wrong with you out there in some big city all by yourself.”

“But?”

Haechan gave you a look. “What do you mean? But nothing. I’m scared and I wish things were different so that you could stay here.”

That made you laugh for some reason. Maybe because you weren’t expecting it. 

The sound of your laughter eased some of the tension in his heart. He asked, “You know what scares me more though?”

You rolled your eyes playfully and droned, “I know, I know. The thought of me not being happy and sacrificing my dreams just so that we can be together.”

Haechan shook his head. “No,” he blurted out. Then, he thought about it. “Well, yes, that too, but I was going to say the thought of you not being mine. I’m terrified of you moving on and forgetting about me.”

You frowned, bringing your hand to his cheek with the tenderness he’d always loved about you. “I’ll never forget you. You mean the world to me. You give me strength. I’m not gonna lie, if it weren’t for you, I probably would have slit my wrists a long time ago.”

Haechan winced. “Damn, baby.”

You smiled thinly, watching his eyes close and his face rub against your palm as you gently soothed him. He would forever be a slave to your touch. “I know. But you being there for me has changed my life for the better. And even if we never see each other again, I’ll still remember your face. Your voice. The way you laugh and the way you make me think. I’ll always carry a piece of you inside my heart.”

“And you’ll be walking with all of mine,” Haechan told you fondly, losing himself in you. 

In more ways than one. You couldn’t remember how long you two had stayed there, pleasuring each other until you were too sore to take any more and too weak to keep your eyes from closing. You just knew that you had been cocooned in his embrace, arms and legs coiled snugly around him, wishing you didn’t have to let him go. 

You still could see the heartbroken pain on his face he tried (and failed) to hide as he watched you leave that following morning. 

“It was so hard to walk away after that,” you confessed, slumping against the wall. “I knew that if I looked back, I would run right back into your arms.”

Haechan dropped beside you and lowered his head onto your shoulder. “Then I’m glad you never looked back. There was always this sadness to you, even when you tried to hide it from us. I don’t feel that from you now.”

You were happier. You were in a place where you felt like you could be yourself, surrounded by friends you trusted and found reliable. No one passed any judgment. But none of that would matter if you didn’t make it back home. “I hope it’s not all for nothing.”

“It’s not all for nothing,” Haechan replied sternly. “We’re gonna be fine.”

You nodded, believing him. You would all be fine. Everything would be okay.

The lights flickered on in the hallway, drawing everyone’s attention to the door, and you could see through its window. They were motion activated, which meant someone was coming. You swallowed, wondering whether to expect Mark, some monsters, or a secret third option. 

You thanked God himself when you saw Mark barge through the door with Xiu, holding a basket of snacks. 

“I’m gonna go grab something to eat,” you told Haechan, standing up on your legs. “You want anything?”

Haechan shook his head. “Nah, I’m not hungry.”

You were tempted to press, but you didn’t want to overstep any boundaries, so you left it alone and walked away. He was hardly blinking but he didn’t seem tired like you were after so much sprinting. You knew he tended to get lost in his thoughts to the extent of neglecting himself and you were beginning to get a little worried. 

Mark saw you approaching him and dropped everything (he literally dropped the snacks) to throw his arms around you securely. You squeaked in surprise but welcomed it nonetheless. “Oh my god. I can’t breathe. Mark, when did you get so strong?”

“I’m so sorry I dragged you here,” he apologized, penitent. “If I had known that this was going to happen, I wouldn’t have forced you to show up against your will.”

You didn’t spare a second in responding, “Mark, don’t you dare apologize. Absolutely none of this is your fault. You couldn’t have known.”

Mark still felt guilty. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he was to blame for some of this. “I know, but I’m the only reason you came. And if I didn’t make you come here, you would’ve been safe. You would’ve never gotten hurt.”

You sighed. “It’s just a scratch, Mark.”

“Right now it’s just a scratch. I hope to God that’s the most any of us get,” Mark huffed. He was annoyed, but not with you. With himself. 

You hoped so too. No matter what amount of unfinished stood between anyone, no one deserved to die. You didn’t want a day intended for celebration and unity to end with mourning and grief. And even then, that ship had sailed. 

Mark nudged your side with his elbow. “How’s Haechan doing? I see you guys haven’t left each other alone. And you were so scared of running into him.”

You mustered a smile. You had been so convinced that reuniting with your old lover would be the worst thing to happen today. “Yeah, it’s funny. I don’t know what I was so afraid of. He’s still the same boy I fell in love with, but eight years older and eight years wiser.”

“Is he holding up okay?”

“I think he’s holding up better than anyone in the room, to be honest,” you answered with a nod, glancing back at Haechan. He was still sitting by the wall, stoic as ever. “He’s really brave and super strong. Always has been.”

Mark followed your gaze. The tenacity was something he could appreciate and definitely something needed when half of you were on the verge of losing your shit. Even Johnny was grappling with defeat. “He’s the kind of person you need. The kind of person you deserve.”

There was a dull throbbing in your heart. It was an ache that you’d suppressed for many years and it’d finally had its fill of being locked away. It needed attention. “He said he still loves me, you know.”

“And what did you say?” Mark asked expectantly.

You shrugged. Obviously, you knew, but the whole thing still seemed surreal to you - not just the monsters. You had been half expecting hatred, resentment and dismissal. Not affection and compassion. “I didn’t say it back, if that’s what you’re asking. Not directly, at least. But I think he understood. He and I have always had a way of communicating.”

Mark bobbed his head in agreement and replied, “Yeah, that’s true. I still can’t see you with anybody else. You two belong together and I hope that when we make it out of here, you guys can work things out.”

You grinned softly. No matter what, you and Haechan had always been the couple that everybody wanted together. It made you happy to know people still felt that way, because you did too. But you chose to deflect, asking, “What about you and Xiu?”

“I wanna make things work with her too. I’ve had a crush on her for the longest,” Mark confessed, turning his head to look at her. She was a few feet behind him consoling Johnny and Victoria. 

You nodded, pleased that Mark had found his match. He had been as unhappy in love as you were. It was in the genes, even if he wasn’t your blood brother. “Oh, I know. I think everybody knows. You were never exactly subtle. But I have to give credit where credit is due, and it’s crazy that she’s all over you now. What did you do?”

To your surprise, Mark started giggling mischievously. 

You rolled your eyes, knowing exactly what that meant. “Nevermind. Spare me the details.”

Mark threw his hands up. “Hey, that’s just life, you know? Things work out when they’re supposed to.”

You had been about to reflect on the remarkably wise words spoken to you, but everyone quickly noticed the faint thump resounding in the hallway as the lights flickered on, indicating that someone was approaching. The dialogue faded. It was so quiet that all you could hear was your quickening pulse.

All of the boys were on high alert. Taeyong, who was already on edge, rooted in place like a rock. Johnny glanced up from where he’d been sitting with his face in his hands, tapping his foot. Haechan made his way over to investigate. And Mark stood in front of you protectively. 

It was like a dam breaking. There was a split second of peace before a pack of zombies barged in through both entrances, and your whole body went into panic mode. You couldn’t breathe and your immediate instinct was to take flight, but there was nowhere else to go. You were trapped. 

Startled beyond belief and terrified for her life, Xiu ran over to where you and Mark were standing in shock as everything rapidly unfolded, grasping his arms and joining you behind him. At the moment, it felt like the safest place to be.

Haechan was quick to draw his weapon and start opening fire on the gory monsters in front of you, but there was no way he could defeat them all. There were too many. The sound of gunshots made you recoil harder and you shrunk in on yourself, willing yourself not to sob. 

In the blink of an eye, they were cornering Victoria like a knot of hungry sharks. Johnny cried out her name and didn’t think twice about advancing on the hungry creatures, knocking two of them dead onto the ground with his fist. 

When Johnny spun around to grab her and lead her away from the others, Victoria bit into his face. 

You closed your eyes when you heard his screams, knowing that there was nothing you could do for either of them now. The infection spread within them too quickly. It had been like that with Jaehyun too; one second he was the sweet boy you’d always known, and the very next, he was trying to drag you into the void with him. 

When you opened your eyes, the first thing you saw was Taeyong getting drowned into a sea of monsters. He resisted, thrashing against them and kicking his legs, but to no avail. You lost sight of his face as he was swallowed beneath them to be feasted on like a rotting dead animal.

You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. What you were hearing. The wound of grief from earlier was still too fresh and you weren’t afforded the opportunity to process the second and third losses before Taeyong was stolen from you too. He shouted out in pain, but the sound was muffled as he was overpowered. You would never forget those agonized cries for as long as you lived. 

Haechan accidentally shot one of them in the head and it dropped to the ground, its body twitching for a few seconds before it stilled completely. You gawked, eyes widening. That was how you killed the dead. 

He seemed equally stunned, but there was no time to waste in lying around waiting to die. “We need to go,” he said in a tone that would brook no argument. 

As sick as it sounded, you knew he was right. You needed to leave while it was still an option. You were outnumbered. The monsters were still focused on Taeyong and they wouldn’t be distracted by him for much longer. It was now or never. 

“There’s an emergency exit door in the storage room,” said Mark, gesturing for you all to follow him with a rapid blur of his hands. 

The remaining three of you paced behind him as quickly as you could without drawing attention to yourselves. As much as you hated having to leave them there for dead, you had to prioritize survival. You tried to tell yourself that they would have wanted you to leave. Whatever you needed to do to convince yourself that you were making the right choice. 

Fortunately, the storage room was unlocked, and all four of you charged inside, maneuvering between several racks of spare basketballs and sports equipment and sundries. You had no idea where the exit door led to specifically, but you had no other option than to fuck around and find out.

You ended up halfway out of the school. There was a fence within a fence, bringing you outside, but still within the outermost perimeter. It was a dangerous place to be, considering most of the monsters were roaming outdoors and you had no way of escaping the relatively tall gates of your school. 

The innermost fence, on the other hand, while definitely all, was still climbable. Your school was a prison no one had been talented enough to sneak out of, but that didn’t mean no one had ever tried. And you and Haechan had gotten pretty good at hopping over the inner fence to take a detour to the garden shack for some alone time. 

Mark looked at the fence in disapproval. There was a gate, but it was obviously locked. No one other than the coaches and custodians likely knew the code. “What fucking security freaks, dude.”

Haechan looked toward you. “You thinking what I’m thinking?”

You nodded reluctantly. It had been a minute since you’d needed to hop a fence, but you couldn’t stay here. You had to go back inside the school. 

Xiu caught on and she didn’t like it one bit. “No way you guys are seriously thinking about climbing the fence.” 

“Do you have a better idea?” Haechan asked impatiently. 

Mark narrowed his eyes at Haechan. “Don’t talk to her like that. She’s scared of heights.”

“And I’m scared of getting my brains chewed out by zombies and turning into one like the rest of our friends. You two can stay here, but I’m hopping the fence.”

“Hey, chill out,” you said, putting your hands up and glancing between the both of them before things got ugly. “There’s no point in any of this if you’re both just gonna kill each other. We need to hop the fence. Now.”

Mark sighed, turning towards Xiu. “I can carry you over, if you want.”

Xiu shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I can do it.”

Haechan was satisfied. “Good.” He pivoted so that he was facing you, handing you the shotgun. “Hold this for me.”

You grabbed the gun cautiously. You were every bit afraid of accidentally setting it off and wounding yourself or someone else in the process. 

Haechan stepped back, taking a deep breath, and ran up and hauled himself over the fence like it was nothing. You acted quickly, but carefully, handing him the gun over the slightly shorter gate. 

Then, it was your turn. Your heart was pumping. Your whole body was on edge. You walked backwards, putting some distance between you and the fence, and sprinted over without a second thought. You grasped the top for leverage and pulled yourself over, landing on your feet. 

And then there were two. 

Mark exhaled a shaky breath and glanced at Xiu again, holding her hands. “You can go now.”

She shook her head. “No, you go.”

Mark looked like he was about to ask if she was sure, but Haechan beat him to a word. “Fuck’s sake, we don’t have time for this. There’s zombies coming. Look behind you.”

There were a handful of zombies slowly but surely making their way over and there was only so much time before they caught up to you. Frantically, Xiu began to fret, eyes widening as she clasped Mark’s forearms. “Go. I don’t wanna slow you guys down.”

Mark glanced between her and the fence, stuck at a crossroads. Ultimately, he grabbed Xiu’s face and kissed her breathless like it was his last chance to let her know how he really felt, and threw himself over the fence. 

“Okay, baby. It’s your turn,” Mark said, gesturing for her to come over.

Xiu hesitated, eyes wide with fear. It was a six foot tall jump that required every bit of vigor to haul yourself over. You watched with dread, an invisible clock ticking above your head as your body shuddered with alarm. You couldn’t stand still. 

Especially not when the zombies were getting closer and closer with every second gone to waste. In a life or death situation, every single breath counted. She was running out of time and you desperately didn’t want to lose another valuable friend that had made an impact on your life for the better. You just couldn’t. You refused. 

“Babe,” Mark called again, on the verge of panic. “Please. You have to jump right now. Just come to me.”

You and Haechan urgently waved her over. You exclaimed, “Xiu, just do it! Don’t think about it. It’s only gonna take a few seconds and then it’ll be over.”

Xiu stepped back, preparing herself for the leap. She took a few restrained steps forward, testing the waters, and backed away again. “Mark, I can’t do it. I’m scared,” she whimpered. 

“Yes, you can,” Mark reassured her gingerly. “You can do it, Xiu. You’re gonna be okay. I promise.”

Xiu begrudgingly nodded, wanting to trust him more than anything. She exhaled a shaky breath and walked back, glancing over her shoulder to gauge how much distance remained between her and the monsters, and resigned herself to the fact that there was no other way out. Finally, she closed her eyes and sprung forward, getting caught at the top and bracing herself on the fence. 

When she glanced back, she lost her grip and fell for all of a couple seconds, cracking her skull on a rock. 

The sound was the most devastating thing you’d ever heard. 

“Xiu!” Mark cried out in anguish, rushing towards the fence without a second thought. 

Haechan had to get a hold of him before he leaped back over, barely able to restrain Mark with how wildly he fought it. Haechan briefly forwent the gun and grappled Mark, spinning him around so that they were face to face. “Hey, man. Look. Look at me,” he said, bracing his shoulders. “She’s gone.”

“No,” Mark shouted in denial, attempting to wrestle free of Haechan’s iron grip.

You helped Haechan hold Mark in place, knowing it would be both foolish and risky for him to go back over when there were monsters nearly clawing at the gate. You could see the agony on your brother’s face and it broke you in half. “Mark, I’m sorry,” was all you could bring yourself to say. “I’m so sorry.”

“No,” Mark echoed, but this time it was a hollow whisper. He slackened and the second you and Haechan released him, he dropped to the ground. There was no faking the heartbreak in his eyes. In his voice. 

Haechan exhaled deeply, cradling his face in his hands. “Fuck, man.”

Even though you were dealing with your own overwhelming whirlwind of emotions - anger, grief, and fear - you knew someone needed to be the voice of reason between the three of you so that you could survive. “Mark, it’s time to go,” you told him gently. 

Mark looked up at you, empty. Like he didn’t care whether he lived or died. His voice was quiet. “I promised. I promised her she was gonna be okay.”

You shook your head, reaching out to grab his hands in an act of consolation. “You couldn’t have known this was going to happen.”

Mark was in too deep. He couldn’t see it any other way. To him, this was preventable and the outcome had largely depended on him. He lowered his head in shame. “I shouldn’t have let her go last. I could’ve helped her. I knew she was scared.”

“You can’t blame yourself for this, Mark. It’s no one’s fault,” you replied gently, wishing there was something you could say to convince him. But you didn’t have time for that right now. “But we really need to get going so that no one else gets hurt.”

Mark nodded, begrudgingly coming to a stand. He was only partly in the journey now; halfway to surrender. “The gym’s blown. What’s the next best place?”

You thought about it. “The auditorium?”

“There’s too many doors,” Haechan chimed, having learned his lesson from the gym fiasco. 

You shrugged. “Yeah, but we can hide behind the stage if we need to.”

Haechan sighed. “I guess.”

You frowned. There was a stormy, dark cloud of defeat hanging over the group now and it disappointed you, even if it was justified. You said nothing, dragging your feet with them as you tried to neglect the agony tearing you apart. Brutal was an understatement. 

The hallways were damn near packed with monsters, as if they were making sure there was no stone left unturned. No place they hadn’t searched. That thought alone was scary as all hell. With every new corner, the three of you were forced to check each angle before you proceeded down the hall.

It was hard to keep your head in the game when you couldn’t help but vividly remember the lives that had been stolen plain in your face without consequence. One after another, back to back. You were channeling the despair into strength and spunk, but that didn’t make it any less painful. 

Hopelessness was nothing new to someone like you, but this was a different breed of misery; you could feel the ache in every breath you took and all the while, you had to ignore how limited they felt, because you didn’t want to lose faith altogether. You had to keep telling yourself that this wasn’t the end even if you could hardly believe it. 

You felt sick as you thought of Johnny and Victoria. They should have been happy together, and now you had to pray that their souls were united and at peace. You thought of Taeyong, who had been nothing but nurturing and tender to everyone who loved, but you couldn’t do anything to save him. Xiu who was sweet and deserved a chance with Mark as much as he deserved one with her. 

And Jaehyun whose smile you were picturing in your mind and shattering apart at the thought of never seeing again. You wished you could have done more for them. You could still hear their screams and the agonized sound was something you would always remember. 

Mark put his hand up, making you and Haechan halt in your tracks behind him in the middle of a broad wall. You figured he’d heard something. He crept closer to investigate, slowly peeking his head around the corner to get an idea what was going on. 

In the next second, Mark was blindsided and yanked the other way. He cried out as he disappeared behind the corner. 

“Mark,” you called out, eyes widening. You managed to grapple him in the nick of time and forcibly pull him back into you, sighing in relief when you realized he was unharmed. You had been one second away from losing him indefinitely. 

Haechan turned the corner with his gun and began shooting anything that moved without mercy. You hated the sound of gunshots and every single one startled you more than the last, but you understood that they were a necessary evil which were aiding in your survival. 

The monsters started dropping like flies and you stilled like you’d been struck by lightning when you recognized the one that had grabbed Mark. It was Jaehyun. A little more bloody, a little more pale, but you knew Jaehyun when you saw him. He hardly looked the same without life. 

You saw the bullet piercing his forehead and knew that this was the last you’d ever seen of him unless it was in your dreams. 

Mark went slack beside you. He didn’t say anything, but you knew he was thinking the exact same thing you were. 

Haechan, on the other hand, hadn’t noticed. He was too busy firing away at the flock of monsters in front of you. With how shocked you were, you failed to realize there was another one stealthily creeping behind you until Mark jolted, hollering out in pain. 

Your protective instincts kicked in. You weren’t thinking about your own health or safety. You just knew you wanted to protect your little brother with your life and you fought and struggled with the monster, prying him away. 

But it was too late. Mark had been bitten. The infection was stronger than your desire to save him, no matter how badly you wanted it. You barely dodged Mark when he lunged at you and tried to get a hold of your arm, your eyes widening in horror at your worst fear coming to life. 

“No. God, please,” you whimpered, the defeat finally starting to catch up to you. You couldn’t win this battle. Not when your undoing had been guaranteed from the start. 

Haechan gaped, but he didn’t let you falter. You had to stay in motion. Which meant being confined to an eternity of running, and you were beginning to realize it would just be easier to give up. Wordlessly, he handed you the gun, the message obvious. You know what you have to do. 

You shook your head. The gun burned your hands. Though you knew that head shots were the only sure-fire way of neutralizing anyone who had been infected, you also figured it would kill them permanently. And you couldn’t do that. 

“I’m not killing him,” you told Haechan, backing away. “And I’m not letting you do it either.”

Haechan exhaled through his nose. “We have to do something quickly or we’ll be cornered.”

Your eyes stung with unshed tears. It felt like the world was spinning. You were nauseous and sick to your stomach, the most cruel shudder wrecking through your body as you fought the urge to sob. 

Finally, knowing you had no other option, you aimed the gun. Mark slumped to the ground, clutching the wound in his leg. Like hell you were going to kill him. “I hope we can fix you,” you whispered poignantly, handing Haechan back the weapon and facing the other way. 

You refused to look at Mark anymore. You had failed to protect your own brother. He was your responsibility, your family. The person you were supposed to be there for through thick and thin. And you let him down in the worst way possible. 

Haechan gave chase, calling out your name. “Wait!”

Not turning around, you kept walking. You were at your breaking point. “How could you ask me to do that?”

Haechan replied, “He’s dead! There’s nothing we can do for him now whether you shoot him in the head or not. He would have wanted you to protect yourself.” 

You whipped around and exclaimed, “You don’t know that! There has to be something we can do.”

Haechan was quick to ask, “Like what, baby? You really think they’ve got some anti-zombie virus remedy cooked up and ready to hand out? That’s just not realistic.”

“What if it was me?”

Haechan rooted in place, his feet fixed to the ground as his eyes flickered with surprise. “What?”

“You heard me,” you snapped. “What if I had gotten bitten? Would you have shot me?”

Haechan swallowed. “You can’t ask me something like that.”

That only served to make you angrier. It was the same damn situation, as far as you were concerned. Losing someone you cared deeply about and being forced into making a tough choice. “Why not?”

“Because it’s different,” Haechan huffed. 

“How?”

Raising his voice ever so slightly, Haechan replied, “I don’t know. It just is!”

You didn’t realize that your volume had attracted more attention until it was too late. You could feel the dread flooded into your bloodstream before you even knew why. When you glanced up, you saw monsters approaching you both at every turn, at every angle. 

At that moment, you accepted defeat. You knew you had no chance at victory. Even if you fought until the very end, rebelled against everything inside you that wanted to surrender in hope of survival, you knew it would be pointless. You would run out of bullets at some point exactly like how you’d run out of will. And you were already running on empty. 

If you somehow survived this, you would wish that you hadn’t. How could you live after seeing what you had seen, constantly reminded of what you’d lost?

Haechan was on the same page. You couldn’t escape this, no matter how hard you tried. He laced his fingers through yours and confessed again, “I love you.”

You couldn’t hold back anymore. The tears were dripping from your eyes and staining your cheeks. “I love you too,” you whispered. 

Haechan nodded, releasing your hand to throw his arms around your waist from behind. 

His teeth sank into your neck. 

[missmeinyourbones]

THE RUST THAT GREW BETWEEN TELEPHONES

in which suna is annoying (shocker). slightly suggestive? tw: hickeys/bruising 

Sometimes you swear life is laughing at you, and sometimes it is. But other times, it’s just your boyfriend.

Waking up this morning with an alarmingly noticeable hickey on your neck was not what you meant when you said you were looking for a new accessory to wear out to brunch. 

You’ve already spent about twenty minutes of your getting ready process on trying to cover up the harsh bruise that formed on your skin overnight, and with each pump of foundation and stroke of concealer, your frustration grows. 

Amid your horror, you hear a borderline squeak. Something that perfectly reflects a mumbled snort of laughter behind a stupidly long and calloused hand. 

You let your gaze sharply adjust to the silhouette in the reflection behind you. Suna stands exactly how you’d imagined him, watching your feeble attempts at trying to cover his bite with a shit-eating grin hidden behind his fist.

He’s utterly amused by the scene playing out before him. You? Not so much. 

“Choke.”

He almost does at your blunt words paired with your gaze of daggers. When he removes the hand covering his mouth, he holds up his palm in defense. You don’t miss how he does his best to hide the smirk pulling at his cheeks. 

“I didn’t say anything,” he innocently sings.

Your glare somehow gets even colder, before you scoff and ignore his words. You go back to rubbing at the mark, hoping to disperse its bruising a bit before furiously going in with yet another layer of concealer.

Suna shakes his head as he tries to keep a straight face, walking towards your back facing him. Nearly out of spite, you start rubbing harder at the mark. 

“Hey, hey—stop, alright?” he grabs your wrist with ease, before making eye contact with you through the mirror once more. “It’s not that bad.”

A lie. You both know it is that bad. In fact, it may be one of the worst ones he’s given you—it looks like he practically bit and sucked on the same spot for about an hour and a half straight. Maybe he did, you can't quite exactly remember where his lips were when his hands were—

As if reading your mind, Suna catches your eye and raises his brow at your dirty thoughts. 

“This isn’t funny,” you remind him for what feels like the umpteenth time.

“And I’m not laughing,” he insists, hands resting comfortably on your waist as he watches you (try to) blend out the makeup smothering the bite.

“But you want to,” you practically scoff. “I can tell by that stupid look on your face.”

He hums a laugh into the crown of your head.

“Maybe that’s just my face,” he reasons. You decide to bite back a fresh comment when he gently pokes the irritated skin.

You whine a bit at the sensitive prodding. Pathetically frustrated with the situation at hand, you whimper out a half angry half embarrassed mumble, “Hurts.”

He hums mockingly, cooing above the skin as he whispers, “Want me to kiss it better?” 

His lips lean in to skim the maroon bruise, but your hand swats at his cheek before he can successfully make contact. 

He whines at the gentle smack, pulling away with an amused smirk.

“That’s how it got there in the first place, dumbass,” he hears you mumble beneath your breath as you give up on the makeup, trying to play around with the collar of your shirt in any way that hides the ridiculous bruise on your neck. 

Suna watches you fumble with the material, face muffled in the side of your neck that isn’t marked.

“Not my fault you wore that dress last night,” he breathes evenly before daring to nip lightly at your jaw, “looked too good.”

“Good enough to practically eat me alive?” you retort with something that sounds like embarrassment.

Suna coos at your dramatics. He returns his attention to the prized possession he left on your neck. 

He nods, showing no regret and rubbing a soft thumb over the mark, “And then some.” 

Sighing in defeat with a groan, your hands fall flat at your sides.

“I can’t go out like this.” 

“You could gimme a matching one,” Suna casually slings an arm around your shoulder, exposing his neck dramatically in the process, “and consider it payback.”

You glare at him through the mirror, before glancing at his barren neck—because, unlike someone, you’re cautious with your marks. 

Your reaction not being the one he wanted, he tries again.

“Or,” he draws out the syllable before smoothly turning his head, “you could let me mark you up some more.”

You scoff, eyes stuck on the sore mark that seems to make itself known no matter what.

“And how would that help?”

“If you’re covered in ‘em, it takes the attention away from the big one,” he says simply as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.  

Though you let out a tiny laugh, it’s quickly hidden by your sarcastic response. 

“Can’t argue with that foolproof logic.”

His face returns to your neck, now determined to make you feel better after getting a taste of your amusement. “Stop being grouchy and let me love on you,” he nearly whines.

With a pathetic pout, you lean into his touch. He allows his head to lift with his hand, thumb smoothing out the worry lines forming on your forehead.

“M’sorry, though,” he softly breathes. “If you really hate it that much, I won't do it again next time.”

The insinuation sends a small panic through your core when you hear yourself quickly interrupt, “No–” 

“—Hm?” Suna pulls back to see your flushed face, nearly as red as the mark adorning your collarbone. 

With his eyebrow raised in amusement, Suna knows he’s won. 

Actually, he knew he’d won the second he spotted the mark on you this morning—when you were too sleepy to care and too sore to realize. As if he read you like a book and planned this all along, he feels victorious in his calculated actions.

“No, it’s not…” you do your best to grasp onto what's left of your dignity, “it’s not that.”

Suna hums, encouraging you to continue as he rubs a sweet circle on your side. 

“...I do like it,” your voice eventually comes quietly. Your eyes avoid his gaze in the reflection when you elaborate. 

“I just don’t want other people to see me like this,” you look down, playing with your hands shyly when you breathe, “just you.”

Suna swears he falls in love with you all over again every single day, and you always call bullshit on his cheesy declaration. But it’s true, and right now proves it. Over something as silly as a stupidly inconvenient hickey, you still find a new way to make him want to throw up with how much he adores you. It nearly makes him sick to his stomach in the best way possible.

He softens when he teases you with a squeeze to your waist, “Yeah? Just me?”

You groan at his prodding but nod into his chest nonetheless. Repeating history, Suna uses his hand to gently have you look at him.

When your eyes meet him, he leans in slowly. 

“Well then,” he coos against your lips, repeating your prior words back to you, “I can't argue with that foolproof logic.”

Needless to say, the two of you were late to brunch—and when you do show up, no one questions your turtleneck. 

[chaosandmarigolds]

sześć 🚑

EMS AU Thingy!!

summary: Simon Riley finds himself utterly and hopelessly in love with the newest medic on base, and during this EMS refresher he attempts to ‘make a move’ unfortunately he has the social skills of a five year old.

for the record you…you were a tough skinned woman, you were able to handle pain and you certainly didn’t get flustered. All the same, this situation…this was something.

“What do you-“ you groan as you get the same question asked for the tenth time ‘are you sure you want it as tight as if it was real?’ And you huff out, “Yes. I’m bleeding, I will die if you don’t get the stupid tourniquet on.”

Johnny, who volunteered to go first stares at you with wide eyes, “Don’t wanna hurt ya lassie.”

“No, I’m already hurt, I’m bleeding out from an artery! Hurt me more if it keeps me alive, what am I gonna do? Scream at you and then die? Rather it hurt a lil’ bit but be alive.” The words were snapped out and you keep your arm outreached from where you sat, you could tell he was feeling a little antsy so with a groan you stand up, walking over to your bag- you had already stripped down to your tank top to make it easy for a tourniquet to be applied and you grab the bottle of fake blood, lord knew how long it had been sitting it that small bag.

“Would you rather me be in character? Screaming and wailing-“ when he shook his head violently you nodded and set the bottle back down, going back to where you were sitting.

once again he faltered, looking between the tourniquet and you, so with a frown you lean forward, “Hurt me.”

if only you could see how Kyle nearly gagged on his water or even how the captain looked up from his phone with a more the mildly intrigued gaze. Especially the dear (odd) lieutenant, who had taken to standing behind the chair for some odd reason.

You quickly realized why, as the tourniquet tightened and the throbbing pain on your arm began to pinch (it’s not the tightness, it’s more of the skin pinch) you tilted your head back, to be met with the masked creature staring down at the…or maybe you? You couldn’t tell. “The worse part is the skin pinch, ya know.” The words were a bit rasped due to the state of your breathing, because good lord Sergeant MacTavish could tighten a tourniquet.

The lieutenants eyebrows raise, or thought they did, “M sorry. Johnny let er go.”

“Check for a pulse,” you quickly correct, looking down at the poor man, stuck in headlights, “Always check for a pulse after applying a tourniquet or a splint.”

you couldn’t feel your hand. So you had no idea if you had a pulse. And so, Kyle went next on your other arm, and he was nice about it, double checking he had somehow managed to get no skin pinch- something you, until that moment, said was impossible with a tourniquet. Then the Captain, who was particularly gentle, out and out refusing to tighten it all the way on your leg. Then came the lieutenant.

“I was shot in my thigh, I’m dying.” You state deadpanned, holding out the tourniquet for him to take. So when he took the small device you leaned back in the chair, extending your leg.

One thing you realized is that the Lieutenant was very…focused, as he was just then, with one hand he had lifted your leg up and slipped the tourniquet over, and then within another moment it was strapped. Which alone even without turning, it was insanely tight, and the leg- well those just flat out hurt, you could feel your pulse in your inner thigh and your heart began to race.

“It’s unrealistic.”

you hum, snapping your gaze to where you had fixated it on the wall, and to the man, the sound you made was…borderline pathetic, more like a shaky groan, “Lie…Riley, what? What-what do you mean, unrealistic?”

The man shrugged and then tightened the tourniquet with a 360 turn of the windlass, and you bit down on your tongue. “You getting hurt I mean.”

“I-i was on the field it hap-happens, ya know?” God, stuttering? The bar was calling your name tonight.

His eyes snap up to yours, and he turns the windlass…again, “Wouldn’t let it happen.”

There was a stiff silence and you then rasp out, “Check my pulse and then let it go…please, Riley.”

(…cringe? Yeah I know, but in my defense tourniquets hurt like a dog and this was literally my entire idea for that whole segment. So…yeah! Comments and feedback make me a better writer and person, toodles!!)

[frogchiro]

Don’t know how deep into the fandom you are with re8– but some people like to depict Heisenberg as having some Lycan in him 😈 he doesn’t keep help in his factory— so I like to imagine he finds excuses to visit alcina or Donna so can sniff around for the cutest member of their house staff. And if he happens to tear a bit of their skirt while play chasing them (though it might not be as fun for them as it is for him) then he’s definitely keeping it to shove against his nose while he jerks off later 💖

He's absolutely awful! Abhorrent even!

Alcina sneers everytime her stupid man-thing brother finds another excuse to come by to her castle and bother her poor handmaiden!

She can clearly see that he's part dog with the way he acts, always borderline drooling and panting like the nasty mutt he is whenever he sees you.

And yes, he does like to chase! It's playful and a way to bond for Varcolacs! Plus it's normal for a male to chase his female and show off to her and roughhouse, it's perfectly healthy and a way to make his advances known :>

Unfortunately you don't really see it that way :/ Whenever you hear the loud and boisterous Lord Heisenberg makes his presence known you can't help but shiver and clench your thighs together. He is a terrifying man; huge, loud, fearless and stupidly strong and cocky, you are sure there is nothing in this world that would make him stop pursuing whatever he wants and it just so happens that he wants you!

And for a poor maiden like yourself getting chased and snarled at by a huge part lycan male isn't so fun and playfull, it's terrifying :((

Not to mention that the last time he managed to nick your skirt and tear off a good chunk of it, the piece of cloth hanging pathetically in his maw full of sharp teeth as he grinned at you, clearly very happy with his pursuit and prize :(

And Karl is more than happy too! Sure, he'd very much like it better if he could sink his teeth in the tender flesh of your full thighs before he went lower for your precious pussy but this will do too!

Pops a knot while jerking off furiously, his red tip spurting out cum on his hairy belly as he bellows loud and unashamed, the ripped piece of your skirt helf to his nose as he inhales your scent♡

[milkcryy]

thinking about sinister mark and sigh.

hopping on the bandwagon. i have some choice Thoughts about him that id like to air out.

(keep in mind that i am NOT A DARK BLOG!!! stuff i say in this post is Very close to toeing the line of being borderline SCARY TO ME. im a soft bitch) also no non/dubcon bc consent is important to me.

minors dni with this post cause it gets a little spicy under the cut..

these dark blogs kinda make me see the sinister mark vision.. like..... theres so many possibilities when it comes to him

CW: he eats you out while youre on your period + more. it gets bloody.

that is a man who KNOWS what he wants and GETS it. so desperate and borderline animalistic about you that when he rushes in a blur to pin you to a wall, it cracks. muttering and panting in your ear about what hes about to do to you, and you just know both of you wont make it out of this without blood being involved. hes pressing up against you, still in his stupid suit. smooth as the material rubbed against your back, stinking with his sweat.

hed start out considerably gentle with it, hands shaking from holding himself back from the worst of what he was fantasizing of doing to you. pinning you hips down to keep you from squirming despite your quips about you being on your period. he'd lick his lips, his heart racing even faster when he pulls down your pants. even better, he rasps, dragging his hands down your thighs and leaning in close between them. you couldnt see his eyes through how opaque and dark his goggles were, but you could tell his eyes were blinking heavily with lust just to swallow you whole without remorse.

and maybe you let him, spreading your legs for him. like a bunny letting a wolf clamp its jaws around the other's neck. he was going to drain you dry.

he wastes no time eating you out, lips and tongue working at your sweet spots in the best way possible. something something his grip on your hips bruising you. something something he haphazardly spits on your clit as if it wasnt slick enough, the room filling with the biting scent of metal. mercilessly tonguing you even after youre finished, thighs squeezing around mark's head, unable to compose yourself when every nerve is ridden with overwhelming pleasure.

before you know it, youre forced on your hands and knees. a rough hand at the back of your head forcing your face down onto the bed when his tip rubs at your bloody, dripping entrance. he mustve ripped the crotch area of his suit off, you barely have time for the thought to process when he's hurriedly pushing his dick inside you, when the tip presses just a little painfully against your cervix, he relishes the squeak you let out, muffled by the bedsheets.

mark wastes no time with this, hips moving at a relentless pace, coaxing - no - forcing moans and squeaks from you as if he were pulling the pathetic sounds out of you with his bare hands. and his grip was a vice, merciless thing. though there was no relief when his hand lets go of the back of your head, arms shaking and struggling to prop yourself up. licking your blood off his lips, mark leans in, his chest pressing against your back. grunting in your ear. your eyes shoot open to the feeling of mark's teeth clamping harshly down onto your shoulder. you cry out, whether in pain or pleasure, you didnt know, but the harder his jaw clamped, you were sure it was some mix of both. your skin gave way, sharp canines piercing your shoulder like he was some feral dog. the small drops of blood that slithered from the wound were quickly lapped up by a rough, bloodthirsty tongue.

when both of you are finished, you dont stop leaking his cum from your hole for a whole day. you body is practically covered with livid bruises and bite marks. and whenever you see them in the mirror, you brandish them like its a shining, bright fucking gold medal.

[loserlvrss]

꒰ 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋 ꒱ 석우현

summary : you didn't think your boyfriend could get so worked up from you just sitting on his lap, and you definitely didn't think it'd lead to him fucking you on the bathroom counter at his friends party

genre : mdni !! soft smut, matthew x afab!reader, drabble, all porn little plot tws : explicit sex, unprotected sex, semi-public sex (exibitionism), language, pet names, oral (fem) author notes : matthew spells my valentine idc word count : 1.9k

you, at the moment, couldn't even remember why you agreed to come to a stupid valentine's day party. but your boyfriend insisted it would be fun — and in your current situation, you would be inclined to agree — as you sat against your boyfriends lap, him fully hard under the tiniest re-adjustments, gripped so tightly to your hips you figured there were already bruises forming.

matthew had gotten himself into this exact situation by his own accord, sitting against the crowded plush and then pulling you onto his lap like it was his last resort. and, of course, no one in an intoxicated state would bat an eye at an otherwise loved-up couple. so, you sat comfortably for a little while.

you could hear how hard he tried to stay engaged on what was being spewed across the room at the two of you, but with every passing second he was losing composure. his hands now snaked around your torso, squeezing you tighter to his chest, and as his forehead pressed against your spine, you thought he was going to give in and let go. you knew he'd curse himself for being so pathetic, for getting so worked up over nothing, and finishing so easily when he could usually put you through more than a couple of rounds. and you honestly found it pathetic too, how close he was to coming undone underneath you, you couldn't help the chuckle that you tried to stifle.

you looked to his sweatshirt, that was spread across your bare legs after he made you sit, and you slipped it over him as you got off. he looked at you with slightly hooded eyes (that to anyone else spelled drunk) and rosy cheeks. you knew you could propose leaving, but also knew his friends would protest, and it would be frustratingly long for him to feel any relief on the way. you weren’t one to have sex in a car either, not since you stopped having to sneak around.

you leaned down, pretending like you were just talking over the background music and chatter, "come to the bathroom with me."

and it was funny how little time was wasted. he got up quickly, hiding his compromising state from the rest of the room with the grew hoodie, and walking closely behind you, one arm around your waist protectively. you heard his sigh in relief when the door was wide open, prompting him to pull you under the dim lights quickly.

once the door closed, you felt your body pressed against it, him locking his lips to yours desperately; quickly; borderline too messy for your liking. the hoodie was pooled at your ankles, his hands now bunching the flimsy fabric of your dress between his palms.

your soft hands found his face, pulling it away briefly to catch your fleeting breath. his eyes met yours, full of question marks and hearts that made you laugh lightly. and no words were needed, but he asked breathily nonetheless if this was okay with you. against his lips you replied yes, letting him grab the back of your thighs and place you on the porcelain of the countertop.

his lips were against the skin of your neck in an instant as his hands trailed over the inside of your thighs, mostly to get you to make adamant room for him between them. you shivered, nails scratching at the base on his neck, causing him to groan.

when his fingers finally made contact with your clothed clit, you had to take a hand off him to cover your mouth from the soft sounds that left your subconscious. you wouldn’t lie, you were becoming just as desperate for him to take you as he obviously was.

his forehead rested against your shoulder, watching his hand's movements carefully, trying to focus on anything but the ache inside his jeans. well, until yours found the bulge and started palming it roughly.

matthew was losing composure just as fast as when you sat against his lap, his end rushing awfully close. his voice was growing ever so slightly louder, whinier, and he had to halt your wrist, taking a couple of seconds to squeeze his eyes shut to wean the overwhelming feeling off.

he debated solutions, because he didn’t want to leave you high and dry when he came too quickly. he cursed himself for acting like a virgin in this moment — he could usually control himself, he was usually in control. but you had him so tightly wrapped around your finger without intent that today just had to be different than your normal escapades.

he took a deep breath, raising his head to kiss you once again. he could see the amusement that exuded your body — he could tell you wanted to mock him — hell, he wanted to, too.

he sunk to his knees, trailing wet lips done your body, “can i?” he asked, picking up a leg at a time to just place them against his broad shoulders. he began to inch closer as you watched, sucking harsh marks against the sensitive skin.

he stopped right when you needed him to continue, trailing a finger over the wet patch that had formed against your core. he was teasing you, and you honestly couldn’t figure out why he was trying to take his time with you despite not having much.

“please, matt.” you voiced, pushing your manicured hands through dark-blonde hair, “stop fucking around, please.”

he didn't need to be told twice. eating you out was his second favorite meal — first going to none other than fried chicken — and he hooked his fingers around the band of your thong, dragging it down slow enough for you to get annoyed and pull a leg out yourself. he put it back in its place, holding your thighs suffocatingly close to his head.

the first drag of his tongue already had you biting your lip in an attempt to not give the outside a glimpse of what was going on behind the closed door.

"fuck," you sighed against the air, the mirror being met with your styled hair as you lulled back in pleasure. matthew knew every part of you, and even if he didn't, he was always eager to learn. he loved you unconditionally, and was determined to have you always feeling the same. "just like that, matt, oh my god."

you must have pulled extra hard when his middle and ring fingers ghosted your entrance because the soft moan that vibrated against you had your stomach knotting almost instantly.

the way he sucked and lapped at you had you wanting to tap out, and it took all the strength in your body to not constrict your legs around his head in an assassination attempt. the way his fingers curled and reached that spot you never could had you seeing stars faster than you or him would've normally liked.

"wait — fuck — right there."

and as you came around his fingers, you had to bite your hand to stop the moan from filling the muffled silence. matthew didn't stop. he had a tendency to not even realize or care that you've already came until you were physically pulling him away from you. which is what you had to do, making him drag his fingers out of your oversensitive cunt.

usually you would've let him have his way with you, but that was only if you were in the confines of your own home. nobody else needed to hear you cry for him. though he might like people knowing how good he could make you feel, he was also a little protective of what he deemed his. he just loved you so much, always taking whatever was giving to him so greedily.

your chest rose a little hysterically as you tried to catch your fleeing breath. matthew had made his way back up to you after licking his fingers clean. his lips attached to yours and you could taste yourself around his tongue.

you could hear the zipper of his jeans, the ruffling of the coarse material as it hit the ground — almost comedically — you had to giggle just a little bit to ease the seriousness and straight faces.

he was focused, eyebrows drawn together as he helped himself release a bit of the tension, but it all faded when you kissed his cheek sweetly. you were already on the edge of the counter from prior actions, wrapping your knees around his torso to urge him on.

his forehead pressed to yours as he finally slid into you, watching as you took inch after inch. you groaned at the stretch, never fully prepared when he would finally fuck you, but nonetheless grew to like the lingering burn.

he was bottomed out, hip to hip, when he pressed another kiss to your lips before dropping his head into the crook of your neck to muffle his own sounds, caused by every heavy thrust. your fingers pressed through his hair, gently tugging when he'd angle just perfectly inside you.

you were oversensitive from the orgasm he gave you with his mouth, already climbing to another despite not thinking you would. matthew was also fighting it off for as long as he could, wanting to savor the warmth — the euphoric feeling of you that he craved primally.

he rose his head again, placing his forehead against you, mumbling whatever came to mind, "fuck, baby, you feel so good. so perfect. i love you." he liked looking you in the eyes, seeing the glossed over and blown out pupils; they were the window to the soul after all.

you dragged your hands from around his head, placing them against his cheeks. it was a struggle to keep eye-contact, but you liked how intimate it felt despite fucking in a bathroom during his friends’ valentines day party.

you kissed him egearly, "i love you, too, matt — fuck."

his voice was a little whinier than usual when he was close, but you brushed it off as him being overwhelmed for so long before this heated moment, that had the mirror slightly fogging against you.

"i'm gonna cum." he voiced against your mouth, but you already knew. skin slapping and mumbled moans filled the space as he sped up, chasing his impending high. if anyone pressed their ear to the wood, they'd know instantly what was going on, but through clouded, lustrous states, neither one of you cared.

you pulled him closer, practically into a hug, "it's okay, matty, me too. go ahead — please."

and your voice was his undoing, hips stuttering as he tried to get you there too, hand reaching between you to rub at your already abused clit.

feeling him filling you up, hearing his sweet little whines as he did, and the fingers working at you tumbled you into the deep end. your legs caged him in. and even through his own overstimulation he worked you through it. you clamped down so hard matthew was convinced he could've came again, held him so close he was debating if this was actually a dream.

when you let him go, arms unlocking and resting around his neck, he anchored himself against your thighs. he watched himself pull out, groaning at the feeling, and the sight of himself spilling out onto the sweat covered countertop.

you laughed, pulling his face up for one last heated kiss, which he reciprocated naturally.

"there’s no way we're hiding what just happened."

you agreed, pressing your lips into a straight line, "hanbin's going to kill you." you playfully shifted the blame, poking his heaving chest, like what occurred wasn't a two person job. "even worse, hao's going to bring you back to life just to kill you again."

reblogs, likes and comments are greatly appreciated! thank u!

— perm tag list .ᐟ send an ask to be added c:

[xzaddyzanakinx]

Okay so I have a request 😭 at some point could you PLEASSEEEE make a series where it’s Anakin x reader with bipolar? I’m pretty sure Anakin already suffers from borderline but I personally suffer from bipolar and 1. Could be such good angst , 2. Anakin could literally be insane and the reader would probably want to be around him bc bipolar sometimes craves danger, and 3. I feel like it would be really nice to see Anakin comfort a bipolar reader during a really bad episode where they’re like hysterical and then manic

(I’m so sorry this was so long)

Yes, Anakin has been diagnosed with BPD by many therapists!

That’s part of the reason I love him so much. I also have BPD and I really resonate with him. Because I get it you know? He’s obsessive, he will do ANYTHING for his Favorite Person.

He’d even spill blood.

The way it would pain him so deeply to see his FP in such anguish… he’ll punch a wall and cry about it later but right then he’ll be emotionless, he’d put on the best mask of comfort he could so he could soak up all your pain and take it away.

I got carried away. Oops. Warnings: inner monologue of: Self pity, gaslighting, verbal abuse, depression, self deprecation, co-dependency, death/suicide

He’d be so strong and solid for you because you need him, but internally he’d be shattered. What if he caused your episode? What if you leave him some day when you’re manic and feral for change no matter what the consequences are? What if you never loved him in the first place and he made it all up and somehow you’ve just went along with it this whole time? What if he doesn’t actually love you and he’s just been using you because you’re vulnerable and you make him feel needed and important?

Isn’t he just some attention hungry monster? He did this to you didn’t he? He triggered this episode for the simple fact that you would be in pain, you would be dependent, you would be reliant, you would see that there is no way you could leave him because he’s the only one who can handle you. You’ll see that won’t you?

God he’s just insane isn’t he? What a sick fuck. Treating you this way for personal gain. To hell with the fact that sometimes a Bipolar episode just sneaks up on you without a reason at all. Anakin knows he did this to you. Even if he didn’t… he’s still a horrible piece of shit because he can’t fix it for you.

Or even worse: what if he’s being used? What if you are playing him and he’s been too blind with infatuation to see it? That’s what’s happening isn’t it? You’ve fucking taken advantage of his kindness, his selflessness, his undying and unconventional love for you. You’re faking it.

When you snap out of this ‘episode’ he’ll lay into you about your true intentions with him. He’d call you out on your selfishness.

He’s better than this. He deserves more than this, can’t you get that through your thick fucking skull? How could you be so stupid? How could you be so dense? Did you truly believe he actually cared about you? No, he just felt sorry for you.

He felt so fucking sorry for you. Pathetic little clingy thing. He’s given and given and given to you and you’ve been nothing but ungrateful. You didn’t even try to get better for him. You rejected his help and this is the last fucking straw. He’s given you every chance, he’s given you everything.

Oh god he’s given you his entire soul. He’s laid his entire being out onto a platter for you to pick apart and terrorize but you’ve done… the opposite. You’ve coddled him when he didn’t deserve it. You made him happy when the world around him was devoid of anything but insufferable, heavy, suffocating despair. You were the light at the end of the long, cold tunnel.

And he’d almost extinguished you.

You were the key to every emotion he couldn’t attain on his own. You kept his happiness, his love, his joy, his contentment, his comfort, his calm.

Without you he’d be nothing.

You should leave. You should run. You should leave.

You should change your name and flee the country because he would stop at nothing to prove himself to you again.

He needs you. You are the air he breathes and the blood in his veins. You are perfect, pure, angelic.

You are heaven on earth and he is a demon walking through the flesh world.

You deserved better. You needed better. You know you deserve better.

But you won’t leave him because you are too kind and loving, you are so sweet and caring. You won’t ever stop. You won’t let him hide. You won’t let him believe he is unloved. You won’t allow him to crawl into himself and go mute. You won’t allow him to let his mind go blank and his flesh move about on autopilot. You won’t allow him to convince himself that he is unworthy.

You won’t give up on him.

And that’s why he has to leave. Permanently. That’s the only way you’ll ever be truly happy and free. He won’t be there to feel the all consuming sorrow every fucking day. He won’t be there to make you watch him drown, suffer as he claws at the surface of the water. So fucking close to air and unable to reach it. So, when he gives up, he won’t drag you down and force you to wallow at the bottom of the lake of despair with him. He won’t suction the life out of you anymore.

He’s selfishly sponged up every drop of life you’ve given him and he knows you must be exhausted from the never ending battle of trying to make him feel human.

It’s better this way. Maybe you’ll meet in the next life and things will be different. Or maybe your soul will recognize his and urge you to escape as quickly as possible. Either way, in this life, Anakin is setting you free.

Because if you love something, you should let it go.

You should let him go.

Don’t cry for him when you find him, feel the sweet relief of all your pain having died with him.

After all, he did this for you.

[15-lizards]

thinking really hard ab my clegane daughter ocs again... me nd @sshireens have created such a rich and fucked up life for them...

time to be cringe on main and force y'all to listen to me talk ab them <3 <3

Dagmar (elder daughter from the first wife) vibes tho I don't have a set in stone face claim for her yet these r her general vibes. Obviously she's not as pretty as these models she's kinda unfortunate she takes after her dad. Really deep set eyes and heavy brow bone, square jaw, wide nose, tall and stocky for her age. Kinda like Brienne if she didn't have good vibes.

Anywayssss she's so much like her uncle that Sandor sometimes wonders if he did some sort of asexual reproduction and had her. Really keeps up the tradition of Cleganes being rabid (but loyal) dogs. Super hostile and antisocial, absolutely CANNOT regulate her emotions, borderline personality disorder queen omg. Low tolerance for basically anyone and anything (except her sister) and has really huge emotional outbursts over seemingly small things. Except for when she's around Gregor cause she goes into safety mode and just shuts out all stimuli. Just super tense, constantly on-edge, and really disregulated emotions she has literally never known peace. Her cortisol levels are So High.

Why is she like this u may ask??? excellent question. Answer: nuclear threat to all women Gregor Clegane happens to be her dad. When she was like barely 2 her mother died "mysteriously" so she got to be alone in Clegane Keep with her rapist murder dad, his rapist murder buddies, and some horrified servants and a septa. Yippeeee. Obviously Gregor felt the need to establish dominance over every woman and girl, and this was only increased by her intense personality, so Dagmar is subject to all kinds of abuse as a child. She learns pretty quickly that u can't really fight back against him so she just shuts down anytime he's in her vicinity as to not pose a "threat" to him. It sorta works. Then lets out her emotions on everything else: serving boys, kennel hounds, herself, etc etc. Half of the time she's in a blind rage and the other half she's in a hopeless dissociative state :) Actively suicidal and she's not even fifteen. HOWEVER when she's like six the light of her life and reason to keep living is born...

And cue Iva (younger daughter from the second wife) and if she ever survives to adulthood (unlikely) it is Scripture to me that she looks like a young Carol Kane. Sunken cheeks, pallid skin, wide protruding bug eyes, long nose, dry and frizzy pale hair. Very very sickly because her mom gave birth a month early and then died bc of it. So all she has is her big sister :]

While Dagmar's response to most things is aggression and really reactionary over-emotional outbursts, Iva is the complete opposite. She likes to run and hide in corners every time she senses confrontation or even gets slightly uncomfortable. Very very avoidant and anxious. Gets to live in her own little mind palace most of the time bc Dagmar is there to protect her. However Dagmar protects her a little too hard and now she is overly dependent on her big sis. Pathetically helpless. Selectively mute a good bit of the time bc it all just gets to be overwhelming and she feels safer just not interacting with the outside world. Super passive like an actual human doormat (if she ever let anyone actually talk to her)

And she is the way she is for [see Gregor reasons above]. However since Dagmar was there when she was born, her big sis sees this weak little baby and feels protectiveness for the first time in her life. Iva is HER baby and Dagmar never lets her out of her sight. Not in a cute overprotective sibling way but in a really aggressive "don't do that you stupid idiot I know what's best for you don't ever leave me way" cause that's how she shows her love so Ivas like Ah this is what love must be like. Obviously Dagmar can't protect her from everything so Iva is abused in the same ways, but slightly less often because Gregor sees her as less interesting and less of a challenge because of her passiveness. So Iva's response is to make herself even smaller and ignore all her problems to live inside her own head lalalalalala

And when they're together oh these girls give a new meaning to Codependent. Dagmar sneaking into Iva's room after Gregor leaves it one night and getting so upset to the point of breaking things and grabbing Iva until she bruises her sister even more. But Iva is comforted by it because that rage means Dagmar cares ab her. Dagmar literally beating a stable boy into a vegetable state (or killing him, ur choice) for trying to grab Iva's skirts. Iva is in literal medical shock seeing a (near) dead body on the ground that got put there for HER while Dagmar is smiling with her bloody knuckles bc it felt good to hurt someone protect her sister (She actually feels horrifically guilty about it later but manages to ease the cognitive dissonance by telling herself that she was protecting Iva so it absolves her of everything bc Iva is perfect and fragile and can't be hurt). One time at a feast when the girls are in their pre/mid teens, Gregor makes an offhanded comment about marrying "the prettier one" off soon and Dagmar forgets her dad trauma for a hot second, bc her urge to keep Iva safe is that strong, and literally throws a serving plate at his head. Later when Dagmar is in her room, with three less teeth and five new giant bruises, Iva is cleaning her up and weeping and just wanting to curl up with Dagmar in bed and forget the rest of the world forever. Meanwhile Dagmar is planning out the murder-suicide she will enact if Iva does get married off. She doesn't tell her sister that just yet but Iva would be more than okay with it. Cause how can Dagmar live without her guiding light morality pet only good thing she has and how can Iva live without her only dog her only knight. YAYYYYYY

[songmingisthighs]

Drunk on You

February Filth Fest - 5; San (drunken sex)

group : ateez

pairing : san × reader

genre : smut, slight angst ?

word count : 3.6k

warning : mdni, explicit sex; oral sex (f receiving), masturbation, rough sex

a/n : i'd like to personally thank @sanjoongie for prompting me to make this idea and requested for me to write this ! honestly, this is better than my initial san fff idea which was cheating and i truly blame the display picture you used on your discord topaz <3

buy me coffee ?

San didn't know why his mind was all over the place.

Again, he found himself at a club, drinking and dancing his feelings away with people surrounding him. And as per usual, he had the hottest girl in the club grinding her ass against his hardening dick and the more it harden. San barely stepped into the club before she threw herself onto him and yet it's not at all a surprise to San. It was actually expected and even borderline pathetically predictable. In all honesty, the conquest lost all its meaning to San due to this.

The pair stood out in the middle of the dance floor, people shying away from them as if intimidated. Their movements were synchronized and seemingly moving perfectly with each other even with their bodies enterteined with each other. There were reciprocation between the two as the harder San's grip on her, the harder she pressed whichever body part she can make contact with onto San. It would be so easy for San to score her. Truly, he wouldn't even have to throw any moves at her because at this point she was a sure thing.

But why was he thinking of you?

"I need a drink," San announced to the girl, not caring whether or not she heard him nor if she was following him. San leaned onto the bar and motioned to the bartender (whom he had become close with due to his frequency at the establishment) to bring him his usual as he fished his phone from his pocket. His fingers automatically seek your contact and he gazed at it, wanting to talk to you but not knowing where to begin. Or even what to say.

You both had been friends since university, you first befriended Yeosang who was adopted by San's best friend, Wooyoung in the middle of first year. Sexual tension was palpable between the two of you yet it took years for him to act on his interest in you. And even then, his interest was only on your body. You became his constant booty call for whatever occassion there is; birthdays (yours or his), hang outs, bar outing, wedding, wake, or even when his conquest turned to be a psycho and he still wants to fuck. The relationship you both had was... nonexistent. Even becoming friends with benefits was too much of a commitment for him and he didn't want to feel onligated to you. But you became the thing he go to for pleasure and that was always how he treated you without caring how you felt about that. Multiple relationships you were ruined by him either by deliberately making the guy you were close with very uncomfortable with how close he was to you or you breaking things off after San gave you hopes yet again only to latet shot you down after he fucked you.

Two weeks ago you told San that you wanted to stop whatever it was that you were doing because you wanted a real relationship with someone stable and dependable. Someone who puts your needs first and won't take you for granted, willing to commit and won't toss you aside when he's having a rough time only to come back the next day to get his dick wet. Well, you didn't actually told him you wanted to stop your little booty call arrangement but more like you asked him to be an adult and stop messing around pointlessly. So of course, San called you names and slammed the door on you angrily and didn't contact you whatsoever but neither did you (much to his disappointment).

So it's two weeks later and all he wanted was you. He suddenly didn't want to stay much longer in the club and just go back to you, spending time not just fucking but watching a movie, eating junk food, playing stupid card games, or even lying on your stomach as he ranted about his day. It never occurred to him just how intimate those activities are and how much he misses them. And you. Especially you.

So how can he get you back?

His alcohol-induced state typed the first thing that popped in his head and he sent the message without a second thought.

'I wanna come back to you'

'I miss you'

Moments waiting for your reply after the message was sent felt excruciating to him. The drink that would usually pump his energy and stamina suddenly brought him nothing but anxiety and longing. His head was running with the memories of having you in his arms, kissing you, praising you, devouring you, tasting you. Just the thought and the memories sent his dick straining against his jeans. How he wished he could touch you at that moment, being able to have his way with you.

When his phone vibrated, San had never looked at his phone so quickly in his life.

'You're drunk'

San ignored your reply and instead he opened his front camera and positioned it to capture his face from a lower angle. He placed his free hand on his chin with his pointer and middle finger spread to frame his mouth, his tongue peeking slightly from his plump lips and he snapped the picture. He sent it with the caption 'me between your legs'. Unlike before, he got his response within seconds. The three dots that constantly appeared and disappeared showed that you wanted to say something but you just didn't know what it was exactly you wanted to say. And San took that as a sign of agreement so he left the club, leaving behind the sure thing that kept calling for him as he made his exit.

The excitement of seeing you again pumped his adrenaline and soon enough he found himself in front of your apartment door, banging your door frantically as he pressed his forehead on the hard surface, enjoying the feeling of his heart thrumming for you. His heart beat at a slower pace but harder against his chest when he heard your footsteps approaching, the beat of his heart seemingly following your steps. It even momentarily stopped when your steps halted.

But when the door opened and San was met with the sight of you unsurely looking up at him, he couldn't help himself but cup your face and press his lips against yours, causing you to yelp in surprise. San took your utter surprise as a chance for him to push you inside your apartment, letting the door close on its own as he simultaneously took his shoes off.

You came back to your senses and pushed off of him just enough so your lips were separated, causing San to chase after your lips which resulted in you having to plant your hands on his chest to stop him from advancing.

"San, you're drunk!" You stated, worried that he wasn't in his right mind but more because you've missed his lips and you know you would cave if he said the right things. The alcohol made his skin flush and his lips bitter, but you were more drawn to the glaze in his eyes making them shimmer slightly under the light. San shook his head quickly and pushed your hands away so he could pull you flush against his body, "I'm drunk enough that it gave me courage to say and pursue what I really want but not drunk enough that you should feel bad for having sex with me," he simply stated before he pressed his lips against you again. The both of you had slowly advanced further into the apartment and just as you accidentally bumped into the doorframe of your room, you spoke against San's lips, "Who said we're gonna have sex?" The question was empty to day the least as you were in a dilemma between wanting San to take you like how he usually would and keeping with your words of wanting to have the chance to be with someone who's serious about you. "Because," He started with his lips trailing down your skin to the juncture of your neck, "You're here and I'm here, and you want me and I want you, so it'll be stupid not to do something about it," San's hands followed the downward movement of his lips and in one swift movement, San had your sleeping shorts and panties yanked off and dropped at your ankle. You gasped and tried to push him away, but the man was stronger than you.

In a swift, he pushed you into your room and turned the ceiling lights off in favour of your desk lamp. He loved the way the shaddow and the light played together, dancing and illuminating your figure as he have his way with you. It became a cue for you as well as every time San switched your lights, you know what would happen and you immediately became aroused as if on cue.

San carefully peeled the rest of your clothing off of you, as if he was unwrapping a gift with the most delicate touch and careful movements which helped him take all of you slowly, drinking you in. You simply let him do what he wanted with you because no matter how much it hurt knowing that there's a chance he might never want to commit, you'd take any and every chance to be with him however he wants. Because despite his shitty treatment towards whatever relationship you both had, he had always handled you with so much care in physical terms even when he was being rough with you.

Once you were bare in front of him, he pushed you down to your bed and you landed with a bounce. You supported yourself on your elbows to look down at San who was taking his shirt off with one swift move that honestly made him look hotter and somehow the way he unbuckled his belt and let his pants drop was satisfyingly simple. San then settled down with his arms hooked under your legs, pressing on it forward and open to eat your cunt like a starved man. A strangled moan left your mouth at the lack of warning of the incoming pleasure. It had only been a relatively short time since San had touched you again, and by God, you didn't know how much you actually missed him until you felt him devouring you again. The vacant period proved to have given your body quite some time to rest free of your usual erratic pleasure or maybe it was just being deprived of it and now that it had a taste again, it's seeking more. Your eyes screwed shut as the feeling took over your body from simply San's tongue and your thighs tried to trap his head but his hands that were holding your legs apart wouldn't let it.

"Baby, God, baby," San moaned as he took your nub between his teeth, gently tugging on it just enough to send you squealing. "I fucking miss you; your voice, the sounds you make, your face, body and your cunt," San shuddered slightly at the mention of your cunt, his breath tickling your flesh and you were betting that you were dripping onto the sheets, "God, I love your pussy and your sweet taste." He momentarily lifted his head to look up at you, chin dripping with your arousal and eyes so lust clouded that the pupils were dilated and his orbs turned into glittering black, "Squirt on my face, okay?"

Then he dove right back, this time his hands were off of your thighs with one hand accompanying his lips, his middle and ring finger from his left hand that had left its initial position on your thigh. Your breath hitched and your back arched from the utter pleasure San was giving you continuously. It was too much for you to bear but the pain was too good, the burn in your body was too good, and San's hold on you was too good. San moved with such expertise, despite his fervent movement, he was never sloppy. His mouth and finger accompanied and complimented each other's movements well, the pleasure was overwhelming but not awkward. It effectively brought you close to a climax and San could tell from the signs given away by your body; every squirm, twitch, and sound were signals to him. Having a specific goal in mind, San continued his ministration with additional pressure of his tongue and his fingers moving in and out of your hole even more quickly than before. "San-" you choked out, head thrashing as you felt yourself reaching the edge with shaky thighs. You tried looking down on him only to have your eyes widened to the size of saucers when you saw San's right hand jacking himself off as he ate you out. Your pussy clench at the realization that San was getting turned on by eating you out. San detached his lips from you and delivered a slap on your cunt that resonated through the room. It was as if he had pressed a release button because you found yourself cumming hard with a high-pitched moan. Your state of euphoria brought a smirk to San's lips because he was one-half away from his goal and now he's so close.

Taking your bliss to his advantage, San dove right in to overstimulate you, this time the hand that he used to finger you pressed onto your lower stomach rather hard as the other moved on hid length even faster. The only thing that was holding you open for him was his broad shoulders but even then, it was hard for you to shut your legs. "N-no, God! I- I can't-" tears started to brim in your eyes, the overstimulation built up even more than you thought it could and it was almost painful. The pressure on your stomach was no better as it only make you feel like you were about to pop. Your head was swimming at this point from the restraint of your legs, San's determination to make you squirt, and your utter surrender to the man. You swore you blacked out momentarily but you could feel your body spasm as liquid gushed and squirt out of your cunt. Had you been fully aware of the situation, you would see San with his face to your cunt, eyes closed as he let your juice drench his face as his cock let out spurts of his cum on your sheets, ass clenching from pleasure and hips stuttering with his cock twitching. San was revelling in his effects on you, completely drunk from your taste as at this point the alcohol didn't do as much as what you were doing to him. You took a moment to look down at him; the look in his eyes that with the redness from being drunk seemed very intense contrasted by the relaxed and even proud look on his wet face. Even when he wiped his face with the shirt he discarded, he still looked at bliss.

When he let go of your legs, your body fell limp onto the mattress, your body wasn't moving and you were in a daze. Your body was buzzing and your skin was warm and slick with sweat from cumming so hard in weeks. It was hard for you to reintroduce oxygen fully back into your lungs and it was harder to do so when San suddenly flipped you on your stomach. You could feel San's hands trailing up your back, the soft pads of his fingers trailing up the skin of your back followed by his soft lips pressing reassuring kisses along following his fingers. "Baby, I need to be in you right now, okay? I can't wait anymore," he groaned, grinding his hips up to your ass, his cock felt hot, sticky and rigid on you but you weren't disgusted. In fact, you were turned on, you wanted him to pound you like a bitch and you were glad he seemed to be in a hurry as well.

With a last kiss to the side of your cheek, San pulled away and pulled your hips up, letting them prop by your knees as he positioned himself. The tip made direct contact with your hole, and as soon as it did, you felt something drip out of you. The mess you made allowed him to slip inside very easily, it didn't take much for you to immediately accommodate his length. In San's words, he had fucked your cunt perfectly for his dick, you have been ruined for every other man. You tried to brace yourself but your arms couldn't bear much weight so you resorted to crossing your arms in front of you and resting your head on them in an attempt to make sure that you would be able to still breathe.

San started his thrusts at a rather faster pace. His hands anchored on your hips as he penetrated you powerfully. Your eyes screwed shut at the feeling of his dick inside you and you were fully expecting him to use you as nothing but his boner reliever. But based on your experience from years of being San's booty call, this time it felt different. Usually, San would only focus on getting himself off before getting you off just to get the pleasure of knowing that he could make you cum. This time, there were emotions involved, and his thrusts felt more... human while usually, it was more frigid, distant, and even machine-like. The grip of his hands felt possessive like he wasn't just doing it to ground or anchor himself, it felt like he was holding onto you. Maybe it was his alcohol-induced state but San was showing so much more emotion than he had ever did in the past. And it made your stomach churn in a good way.

His hand moved to grab at your thighs when he began to move even faster. You were moaning his name loudly as your hands clench the sheet from the sheer pleasure. The way you were saying San's name was like music to his ears, he had never quite realized how good his name is coming out of your mouth, it even sounded melodious. You calling his name seemed to trigger something in him because before you know it, San was holding you so close and so tight, abusing your hole with his cock, that the lower half of your body was levitating. The gravity put pressure to your chest, constricting your airway a little that made your head dizzy from the lack of oxygen. Plus, the internal feeling of being on cloud nine paired with the external experience of half floating did indescribable things to your brain.

Meanwhile, San's eyes was rolled to the back of his head. His mind was buzzing with alcohol and you. The new position allowed him to reach deeper into you, letting him feel all of you and he loved it, he was reveling in it. The way your cunt clench when his cock hit the right spot, the obnoxious squelching sound from your cunt as proof of his effect on you, and the pretty, pretty noise you were making with your mouth. God, he could never get enough of you and he wouldn't want to get enough of you, it was always more more more and more. San's hands gripped tighter on the flesh of your thighs, trapping it in a possessive vice has his body made up to both you and him for the two week absence.

You didn't even realize when you came until you felt something gushing out of your pussy, the liquid spraying San's abdomen and rolled down your stomach to your chest, creating a cold slick trail that made you squirm. In San's grip, your legs shook a little as you climaxed and the sudden movement caused your limbs to fall off of his grip. As your body fell back to the bed, San's cock slipped but he was quick enough to pump himself zealously, not wanting to lose momentum and he came on your skin, painting the expanse of your ass and back with his white cum that seemed to continuously spurt from his cock. A soft gasp left your lips and the muscles of your back tensed when you felt his cum landed on you.

That was it. From your past experiences, you know that he'd at the most clean his cum off you and then leave your apartment. You closed your eyes and waited for the sound of the door closing, trying to gather your strength to get to the bathroom and clesn yourself before you start your self depreciation over how stupid you were to fall for his words again. Truly, you were mad at yourself.

But the feeling of a warm, damp towel running over your back forced your eyes to open. Your head whipped to the back to see San concentrating on cleaning his cum off of you. He looked so serious with his eyes narrowed, eyebrows furrowed, and bottom lip between his teeth. The towel was gliding on your skin ever so softly, the most gentle of caress as if you could break if he was being too harsh. It felt nice though, having him take care of you like that. You might not know what or why he was doing what he did, nor if his words were merely drunken jabber or if he was being genuine with you. At that moment, all you could do was close your eyes and just enjoy, hoping that when you opened your eyes, he won't leave again.

fff taglist :

@senpai-of-doom @doom-fics @kawennote09 @cherryxsang @ssaboala @k-drizzle @stfuayu @fariylixie0915

@prettyshawni

[moonrisecoeur]

content warning for dubcon/borderline noncon (consent is always mandatory in real life)

different scenario of best friend!leon where he’s crying and curled up against you and you just can’t help but want to take him from his girlfriend, whether or not be lets you. their argument wasn’t going to end their relationship, but he’ll never be able to look her in the eye after this <3

he whimpers loudly and pathetically as he cries. i just know he does. he’s crying over something stupid she did that he’ll eventually get over, but if you’re being honest? it would be so easy to take advantage of him.

you start out by pressing very very light kisses to his shoulder over his shirt. he doesn’t even notice, but something about him not noticing makes it even hotter. and then your lips hover on his neck, hot breath on his skin should be something that catches his attention, but it doesn’t. not even when you start to kiss his neck, until you get a little too cocky and your teeth graze against his skin.

“what… what are.. you doing?” he stutters, asking nervously, suddenly realizing that he’s not in the right headspace for this. he’s not completely sober, he’s emotionally distraught, he’s crying and sobbing into your shoulder, ruining your pretty shirt, yet you’re… kissing his neck.

“accident, sorry,” you say quickly, trying to prove your innocence, but your hand on his waist feels anything but innocent. even after you apologize, claim you didn’t mean to, you leave another soft kiss on his neck. this time, you physically feel him and hear the beautiful sound of him whining, as if crying out and begging you to keep going. you know that’s not what means. that doesn’t really matter.

he feels his heart pounding in his chest, “but my-my girlfriend… i don’t… i’m not just going to…”

“you’re not doing anything wrong, she doesn’t have to know,” you whisper as you press your lips to his jaw, hanging slightly open, “you can just let me keep going… i’ll make you feel good when she can’t, when she won’t.”

he feels the need to fight back a little more, say something like she’s my girlfriend and i can’t just do that to her. but he doesn’t feel fully in control of himself either. maybe it was the alcohol he drank earlier from the bar with his cop buddies. maybe it’s the way he didn’t realize your hand is down his pants until you were stroking his cock through them. maybe it’s something else.

maybe he liked you? he didn’t really know. he kinda liked you before he had a girlfriend, but thought you didn’t want him like that. his current girlfriend was someone new, and he just fell for her charms because she was remarkably forward and bold, always touching his leg, running her fingers through his hair, telling him how handsome and attractive he was, etc. leon was helpless in falling for her.

“can i kiss you?” you ask, bringing him out of his thoughts. the question is startling, and it’s a big decision to make.

if he doesn’t let you, he’s scared of what might happen. will you leave him? will you kick him out and leave him no where to run to like the lost puppy he’d be?

if he does let you, what does that make him? a cheater?he didn’t really want to cheat on his girlfriend, but you’re just so… convincing. and he’s not in a state where he’d need a lot do it. what would it make you? the home-wrecker? would his girlfriend hate you for it? would she hate him? should she?

his girlfriend is so passive, yet so demanding. she’ll give nothing and take everything leon has to give, and he keeps giving just to keep her satisfied. leon wonders if you’d be any different.

leon has thought about kissing you before. he’s thought about a lot worse, actually, but tried to pretend he didn’t because you weren’t his and he wasn’t allowed to think about his friend like that. but he has. he imagines your soft lips, sticky with the lip gloss he knows you like to wear. he knows it would taste like strawberries if he could just…

“yeah,” he finally decides, “you can kiss me… please… uhm, kiss me, please.”

you smile softly and nod, acknowledging your victory, before leaning in. it’s everything he thought it would be and more. he tries not to compare you to his girlfriend or her to you, but he can’t help but think you’re a million times better.

he could list off the reasons why he likes kissing you more, but he’d say the main one is how you’re giving and taking with balance, letting him touch your face gently while also resting a hand on the back of his neck. your hand down his sweats releases him and just holds his waist while he holds onto you the same. he doesn’t feel empty as he gives you his all but he doesn’t feel smothered with the intensity he knows is locked inside. he’s looking for the key.

he moans at the taste of your lip gloss, and yes, your lips are just as delicious as he imagined. he can’t bear to let you pull away, holding the collar of your shirt when you try to to keep you in kissing distance. not that you mind, you just didn’t expect leon to be so desperate so fast.

“i’m… i’m not… i’m not a bad person right?” he breathes heavily as he finally lets you pull away, and his moral conscious starts to come back to him, “our argument was so dumb, a-and i… i still couldn’t… maybe we should stop.”

“oh, sweetheart,” you mumble gently, pressing your fingers into the soft skin of his waist, while your free hand traces the lines of his face. he still can’t stop blushing, “you can’t just leave me like this. can’t just kiss me and then expect me to not get addicted, pretty boy.”

well that name was new. he certainly was not called that by his girlfriend, “i don’t.. i can’t do this to her. a kiss was bad enough, but if we… go all the way… i can’t do that.”

your hand on his waist drops down to caress his thigh, moving up closer and closer. whether or not leon admits it and lets you do anything, he’s needy. he’s extremely turned on, his body practically begging you to touch him.

“no, wait, stop, i- i know you- you’re trying to help, and i- i appreciate it! but, please, i can’t do this to her.”

but his body betrays him as he lets out a moan, his voice breaking, and his hand grasps your arm for support. he throws his head back as you finally touch his aching cock, gulping nervously.

“please, i don’t want to hurt her, this is so.. this is wrong. you need to stop, i need to go—”

and that’s when you look up at him, baby blues staring back at you helplessly. he’s begging you to keep going. he’s also begging for you to stop. he’s confused too, if it helps. you narrow your eyes at him, “and go where? you already betrayed your girlfriend by making out with me and letting me touch your cute n pretty cock, baby. you can’t go back to her.”

and when he opens his mouth to defend himself, you stick your index and middle finger into it instead, “suck, baby,” you murmur to him, and he moans as he complies. for someone so resistant and not giving in to what he knows he wants, he’s oddly obedient.

“she doesn’t want you anymore, now that you’ve cheated on her,” you say like it’s a simple fact. like that the grass is green and the sky is blue, “you’re just a pretty little toy now, aren’t you?

he’s breathing raggedly as your soft touches become full strokes. his body is tense as he shakes his head, “no, fuck, please, i-i know we’re friends but this isn’t okay, please…”

“shhh, don’t cry, sweet boy,” you whisper as you notice the tears in his eyes. you lean in to kiss him, suddenly less soft and sweet like strawberries, but now his sobs feel visceral as he moans in your mouth, his ragged breaths cutting of the kiss before you pull him tighter to keep it going.

when you pull away, he looks soft, vulnerable, dazed.

“fuck, leon..” you mumble, pressing kisses to his shoulder, “if you keep looking at me like that, i’ll have no choice to do this to you every day, but you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

he stutters, briefly imagining a reality where he spent all his days being kissed and touched and loved by you. he doesn’t hate it, “n-no! i… i mean kind of, yes, i don’t.. i like it, it’s just… i’m with her, i can’t.. i can’t be doing this with you.”

his insistence of putting up this wall between the two of you is getting tiring, so you up your game. you lean in to press soft kisses to his neck, enjoying his heavy breaths and the little sounds that escape his throat when your lips are on him.

“please don’t, i… my girlfriend is—” his voice sounds strained, like he’s using all of his effort to keep himself contained and controlled.

“doesn’t fucking matter anymore. all that matters is that i want you. and i will get what i want, leon, won’t i? i always get what i want.”

[lizhrs]

judgmental nerd ! eren x bimbo y/n pt.2 (wc: 3101)

warnings: nsfw

It's pathetic.

Borderline insane. You should not be thinking about this. You're you.

But it's nearly impossible to stop thinking about the nerd. About that annoying freak and his creepy hands and how they touched you...how you liked them, fuck did you like them. How you still can't stop thinking about him an entire month later.

You're gorgeous, the most popular girl at your school, everyone wants you and yet...you can not stop thinking about him. Day and night, night and day, in your classes, during cheer practice, doing homework, in your bedroom late at night. Fuck, especially in your bedroom late at night.

All you can picture when the lights are off and the moonlight is shining through your window are thick rimmed glasses, fiery eyes that look at you with such intense disgust and lust and those stupid gorgeous lips of his that always twist up into an annoyed scowl or condescending smirk. You hate it, despise it.

People like you should not be thinking about freaks like him.

Freaks like him should not be able to make people like you feel this way. Freaks like him should not be allowed to think they can ignore people like you after pulling a stunt like that.

He's ignoring you. Well...not exactly ignoring . The study sessions continue, but you've only had three since then and he has not mentioned what happened at all. Not even a look in his stupid nerdy eyes could expose what he did...what you both did. It's like he's blocked it out.

And the audacity. You can't stop thinking about it while he has the nerve to carry on like nothing happened? Freaking prick.

You twirl your pencil, a habit you know annoys him as you lean back in your chair. "I don't get this."

He rolls his eyes, stopping his incessant typing as he looks up at you. Your stomach flips at the attention. "You're supposed to be helping me." You pout.

"I helped you with the first four. Do this on your own."

You roll your eyes, staring down at the paper, not reading a thing. All you want to do is hear his voice again. He can't treat you like this. He's supposed to be the one going insane right now, not you. You take out your cherry lipgloss, applying some on your lips before making a loud smooch noise. He sighs, annoyed. "Do you really need lip gloss right now?"

"I have to keep my lips moisturized. I have a hot date after this."

“Hmmm.”

"With Reiner."

"Hmm."

"We're going clubbing."

"You call that a date?"

"What exactly is your definition of a date, nerd?" You can't help but smile, finally reeling him into conversation.

"Not a dirty club where you'll probably get killed the second you step in there. Maybe kidnapped. Definitely kidnapped. You'd probably willingly go into that cliche white van, ignoring any common sense."

You scoff. "Reiner will be with me all night. He can actually protect me unlike scrawny nerds." You cross your legs, making sure his eyes travel to your soft, shiny legs. You made sure to wear a skirt today, drenching yourself in vanilla oil and perfume. His eyebrows raise for the littlest second before looking away.

"I'm sure the meat head can." He goes back to typing.

You frown, looking around the room. It happened in this very room and yet...he acts like this is normal. Just a normal study session with normal people who have a normal relationship.

"Can you stop gawking like an idiot and finish the questions?"

"What's your problem?" You impulsively and stupidly ask.

"Excuse me?"

"You—I—never mind."

"No, carry on." He smiles, that stupid smug smile as he crosses his arms over his chest. "You've been staring at me like I kicked your puppy for a month now. Always glaring at me in class, in the hallways. Like a stalker."

"I'm the stalker?"

"Yes. Stalker."

"You're the freak who made a move on me, grabbed me that day and—and you know what you did. And then for you to prance around like you're better than me—"

"You're still thinking about that?" He laughs. A sound that's downright mean as he throws his head back. "Don't you have thousands of suitors vying for your attention?"

"Obviously I do, I'm not you. It was just—a very rude thing to do."

"You sure seemed to like it." He mutters, going back to his typing. "You've humped and dumped countless times. Does it not feel so great when it's done to you?"

"Don't flatter yourself. You're too insignificant for me to feel hurt by you."

"And yet you're still yapping."

Annoying ass piece of shit. Your fingers clench around your pencil. "Do you think you have the high ground you here? You're nothing. I could have the entire football team beat your skinny ass into a pulp."

"Sign me up if it means I don't have to listen to your annoying screech of a voice."

Your chest is burning with pure rage at this point. How can someone like him act so—he's nothing. He's mush. A tiny, minuscule bug. Eren sighs, running his fingers through his hair once he eyes the anger on your face. "Look, princess." He stands up, taking too slow steps to stand by you. But once he does, you can hardly breathe as his fingers graze your cheek.

"I know it may seem hard to believe but not everyone is going to be obsessed with your pretty face and empty head." His thumb goes to your lip, softly rubbing it. Your breath hitches, nails digging into your palm and stomach tingling as he looks into your eyes.

"It was one time thing. Get over it."

His finger is gone in an instant, forcing you to take a breath you weren't aware you were holding. He sits back down. "Sessions over. Finish question five by tomorrow. You can leave now."

Get over it?

Oh you're over it.

You'll show him just how over it you are.

Okay, maybe your definition of over it isn't really the same as everyone else's.

Far from it actually. People who are over it don't dedicate their time to messing with the life of the person they're trying to prove they don't care about. The lengths you'll go through to anger Eren surprises you, you've never put this much effort into anything really.

But to see that look in his eye. The pure annoyance and anger fills you up with more satisfaction than anything else.

You barely had to plead for Reiner to mess with the stupid nerd in physics class. A simple bat of your eyelashes and he was your loyal dog. At first it started simple, you slamming Eren's locker shut while he was using it, almost taking his fingers off in the process.

That didn't really do much. All he did was scoff as he said. "That desperate to get my attention?"

As if you need his attention.

His smugness only grew so obviously so did your anger.

Then it escalated to Reiner pushing him into the lockers, the wall, any surface really as you two passed by him in the hallway. That also did nothing. Then you went to elementary school tactics and tripped him in the lunch room. That was enough for him to glare daggers at you, evoke a type of rush you've never felt before. Excluding that night.

The taunts continued. Pouring milk into his shoes during gym practice, stealing his clothes, shoving him into more lockers and walls. But still, all he gave was a simple glare before walking away.

Why did he blow up that one night? You insulted him yes but you've been insulting him for days now and nothing. Is he really over it? A simple hump and dump and that's it? It's annoying. You hate to admit it but it is.

Eren still continues to tutor you. You don't know whether it's to show he really could care less about your antics or simply cause he enjoys playing teachers pet that badly but he still continues. He only talks about homework, about the numbers and shapes you need to memorize. Never about what's actually important.

"Do you have any parents?" You find yourself asking one day. His eyes peer up, distaste clear in them as he grunts. "What?"

"Parents? This is the millionth time I've come to your house and I haven't seen a single car in the driveway."

"It's none of your business."

Your eyes travel to his wrist, there's a slight bruise there. Probably courtesy of Reiner and his goons. Should you apologize?

"So no? What, were you abandoned as a baby the second they saw that hateful little glint in your eye?" You hum, placing your chin on the back of your hands as you lean in. You're wearing a very thin shirt today, no bra and he notices. Of course he notices but says nothing, only glances for a second too long before flickering his eyes away.

"My father visits his other family once in a while and my mothers comes and goes when she wants.”

Other family?

"My daddy has another family too. A daughter from some waitress he liked too much, he spends most of his time with them."

"Of course you call your dad daddy." He snorts.

"Why? Would you I prefer I only call you that?" You tease.

His eyes do widen at that but quickly replaced with with a look of neutrality. "You're disgusting."

"Really? I'm the disgusting one here?" You tilt your head. "I still remember your words from that night, Yeager. You're a little freak."

"Fuck off." He says with finality, his cheeks reddening just a tad.

A blush? That’s certainly new.

Another month passes and just when you think all hope is gone, it comes hurling at you tenfold.

It's late. Well nine-ish, you've just come back from cheer practice. Straight out of the shower, wet hair, only in a oversized shirt and panties when you open you the door to see the little bastard.

He's standing there, on your front porch. Drenched in...syrup? You're not sure what as you stare at the red liquid staining his clothes and hair, running down his glasses. His hands are balled into fists, beady little eyes staring at you like you're the bane of his existence. You laugh, leaning against your doorframe. "The hell happened to you?"

"Your fucking idiot of a dog poured koolaid on me. Koolaid."

"What do you want me to do about that?" You smile. "I think it's a fine look. Makes you stand out unlike your mundane—"

Then it happens.

He takes a step forward, stepping through your door, into your house. You immediately step back, eyes widening. "What are you—"

He slams the door shut behind him, grabs you by the hair and pushes you into the wall in the blink of an eye. You wince as your back connects with the wall, head bouncing a little. Ow. You sound feel scared, annoyed, enraged but you only feel burning lust as you look into those eyes. "You're that much of a coward you couldn't stand up to Reiner, you had to come bitch to me?"

"Shut up." He seethes, inches away from you. "This is all your fault. No one told you to become obsessed with me, you fucking idiot."

"Obsessed?" You laugh. "In what world would I—"

His fingers are closing around your throat. "Shut up." He whispers, strained like he's trying to control himself. "You're so fucking annoying, it kills me."

You're the annoying one? "You're the one who—"

His fingers dig into your shoulders, forcing you down on your knees. You inhale sharply, knees hitting the marble floor with an audible thud. You're breathless, it's only been a couple seconds and you're already gasping for air. He stares down at you like you're nothing. His eyes boring into yours as he unzips his ugly kakhi pants. "I'm so sick of you. You're so entitled and spoiled and annoying."

You could say the same about him. You never knew a human being could be so damn vexing.

"Day after day of dealing with your shit." His fingers dig into your hair, inching your head towards his now exposed cock. He thrusts in, giving you a second to adjust as he slides more inside of you. You try not to gag, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. But if you took it a like pro, he would just call you a skilled whore. He makes sure every last inch is lodged deep in your throat, feeling your throat constrict around him. Your fingers dig into his legs, feeling drool fall down on the floor.

Fuck. You should hate this. You should but you can feel your pussy dampening, your body burning with arousal as his moans echo through the big space. "You never face any consequences do you? You just do whatever you like, whenever you like. It's infuriating. You just push and you push until you win."

Is this what you winning feels like? Him getting the blow job of a life time? You would scoff if your throat wasn't busy right now. He pulls you off, yanks you back by the hair and you can't help but stare at the string of saliva connecting you to his cock.

"I'm done with you after tonight. Done with those sessions, with you staring at me like a wounded puppy. After tonight, you return to your brain dead friends and I return to my life. Got it?" He practically orders, fingers pressing into your chin as he lifts you up.

You pant, eyes glossy as you try your best to nod. Even though you both know that's not happening. "Where's your lube?"

"Faster." You moan, curling your arms around Eren's neck.

He takes in your fucked out expression, looks at the sweat coating your skin, the pearly tears on those long lashes, the rapid rise and fall of your chest. He looks almost proud, lips quirking every once in a while at your daze. Minus that, he on the other hand, looks absolutely unfazed. As if you're not squeezing him for dear life, as if he could get this feeling from his own stupid closed fist. It's stupid. He's so stupid.

"Fuck!" You moan, throwing your head back.

"Shut up." He growls. "Cock sleeves don't talk." His fingers are back on your throat, squeezing just a little. A part of you wishes he would apply more pressure, you wish he would go faster, wish he would take and take and take until you have nothing left to give.

The slaps echoing in your house are loud enough to alert the neighbors, the headboard slamming against the wall doesn't make it any better. He leans into your neck, balls deep inside your cunt that's clenching and hugging tight around him. He moans into your neck, damp lips brushing against your skin with every rough thrust. He pushes in mercilessly, your entire body jolting with every pull and push.

"You sound like a damn porn star." He chuckles, leaning his head back to look at you. You tighten at the look in his eyes, at his messy hair and swollen lips. Lips you suddenly want to touch as you grip his hair, pushing his head down for a deep kiss. Your lips move together, tongues touching and more moans spilling out of your lips as he rotates his hips.

"Fuck, Eren please—" You cry out. It's too much. It's all too much as you bathe in your embarrassment. "Ah!" Your back arches as you release, orgasm shuddering through your entire body.

You're not that sensitive. You swear you aren't but whenever it comes to him, it's like you lose all your senses. It's too much. He's too much. Damn nerd.

He chuckles, staring down at your rising chest before taking one of your nipples in his lips. "Stop!" You moan, trying to squat his head away but he stays, sucking and kissing at your breasts as his thrusts slow down to a more rhythmic carnal pace.

“E-Eren, please." Tears are spilling down your cheeks.

"Please what? You've already cummed." He smirks. "Or is that not enough."

"I want—" You shudder at a particularly deep thrust. "I want you to cum inside of me. Please."

He stares down at you, hips stilling for a moment before he curses. "Fuck." Is all he says before he begins his bullying pace again. Cock slamming into you over and over again until you're screaming, nails digging into his back.

And then he cums. Hard. Grunts leaving his lips as he fills you up to the brim. You're both panting as he collapses on the bed, face deep in your pillow as he inhales.

It takes a few minutes for you to return to reality but when you do the stench of sweat and sex instantly hits you. That just happened. For a second time.

You turn to look at him. He's still on your pillow, back you never realized was actually muscled staring back at you. You itch to trace his skin but stop yourself. Pillow talk is never a good idea.

How can a damn nerd like him be so good at this?

He slowly sits up, running his fingers through his beautiful locks before looking at you. You flinch, not sure why. "This was not supposed to happen." He grunts.

And yet it did.

"Keep telling yourself that."

He rolls his eyes, standing up and grabbing his pants. "Call off your dogs before I do something drastic."

You narrow your eyes at him.

"That doesn't involve fucking you."

You lean back into your sheets, basking in the sight of the class nerd getting dressed. "So when's our next study session?"

He clenches his jaw, staying silent for a few seconds before responding. "Friday."

"See you Friday then."

He stops walking inches from the door, pausing for a few seconds before walking back straight to you. He grips the back of your head, holding it still for a second before smashing your lips together. You squeak but he could care less as his lips move against yours.

It's over before it started. Before you can reciprocate and show him what a real kiss looks like. He pulls back, tsking. "You're so fucking annoying."

"You're worst, Yeager."

He rolls his eyes. "See you Friday." He mutters before walking out.

"See you Friday.

[poisonedprose]

ellie making you call her sir while she straps you 🫡🫡

₊˚✧ yes sir

ellie williams x fem!reader

warnings: 0.5k words, established relationship, MEAN ELLIE!!, strap sex, praise kink, kinda degarding, pwp, no intro staright into it, denied orgasms, reader pet names (baby, good girl, pretty girl), ellie pet names (sir), dacryphilia,

masterlists

"Please, Els." Your voice was whiny and Ellie was so thankful for it. "Please, who?" She had that stupid cocky smile on her face as her movements slowed down resulting in a low whine from you. "Please, sir." You said with an attitude that Ellie wasn't very fond of. Her strap was so deep inside you and you just wanted to finally come undone after she denied 2 of your orgasms.

"Oh, baby, I don't think that's right. Say it like you mean it." Her shit-eating grin was growing with every passing second as she watched your face contort in need when she fully came to a stop. "Please, sir. I'll do anything!" You were trying to fuck yourself on her strap and it was honestly so pathetic to watch that Ellie almost felt bad. 

"There you go, good girl." Another sinful whine falls from your lips at the praise. Ellie thought you looked so pathetic, so beautiful and she hadn't even started moving again yet. "Keep going." She whispered in her husky voice as she slowly started to fuck into you once again.

"Ellie." You whine and Ellie cocked her brow at you. "Sir." You quickly corrected yourself and you were rewarded with small kisses along your breasts. "Yes, baby? What d'ya need, hm?" With every word of hers, you could feel it in your core more and more. "Please, sir. Need it so bad. Please." You were borderline crying and Ellie couldn't help but feel pride swell in her chest. 

Her movements sped up and you were so grateful as you could feel her strap fucking you deeper than before. "Like this, baby?" She was just toying with you at this point, and boy, was she enjoying every second of it. You nodded to answer her question but she wasn't satisfied with that. 

"Don't you have something to say to me?" Your mind was turning to mush with every thrust but you still racked your brain trying to figure out what Ellie meant before it hit you. "Thank you." You stuttered out between whines. "Thank you who?" She was getting such a kick out of this but you couldn't even care with how good she was making you feel. 

"Thank you, sir." The words fell off your tongue like honey and Ellie just ate it up. "Thank you for what?" She decided to pester you even more as she could see how close you were getting. You didn't know what to say, not that you even tried. "Thank you for..." She tried to get you to repeat after her and to finish the sentence. "Thank you for.. for..." She smiled at the way the patheticness on your face as you looked up at Ellie for help again.

"Thank you for fucking me so good." She said in a slightly scolding manner even though she wasn't really mad. "Thank you for fucking me so good, sir." You repeated and her head almost spins at your added nickname. "You're welcome, pretty girl." 

‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎┊ㅤㅤ 🌾 ㅤㅤ ﾟㅤㅤ ┊

[missmeinyourbones]

dabi + mutual pining 👁️👁️?

…

when dabi returns from the bar without an old-fashioned in hand, your interest is piqued.

you can't help but smile at his sulking shoulders and sullen eyes, "why are you drinkless?"

"don’t ask," he waves you off before slumping into the booth beside you.

after a moment of feeling your beady little eyes focused on his through his peripheral vision, he eventually caves.

"forgot my wallet, so i tried flirting with the bartender for a free drink and—"

his voice trails off, admitting defeat as he uses his open palms to gesture to the empty table before him, the one that represents his failure of negotiation (and smooth talking) skills.

and you would be laughing at his misery if it wasn't for the gears busy turning in your head at a tiny detail of his sentence.

"you know how to flirt?"

dabi’s jaw physically drops in disbelief, "and what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"nothing, i don't know!" you're quick to put out the fire, so you sip your drink and brush off the comment. “i just didn't think it was something you did."

dabi grimaces at your amusement of the whole scenario, so he picks the dry skin from his lips with a defensive sigh. 

"i mean, it's not something i do frequently, or to just anyone," he assures, doing his best to keep his voice level. “it's… selective."

"so what i'm hearing is that you're picky."

he looks over to you, and you're enjoying this. cheeks slightly flushed from both the alcohol and the laughter you bite back, you're clearly getting a kick out of his borderline pathetic demise. 

he scoffs before turning his head away from you, not wanting to look you in the eye when he bares his next confession.

"i’ll have you know, i flirted with you the first time we met,” he wraps his knuckles on the table to busy his drinkless hands, “y'know, before i got to know you and became repulsed by you."

from the corner of his eye, dabi can see you giggle behind your drink, fiddling with the straw between your lips. 

you swirl the ice around in the glass. "the first time we met, you said i had a stupid laugh," you knowingly remind him.

and you expect him to fight the accusation, to defend his flirting skills and recall the memory differently; but when he turns to you with a shrug and tight-lipped smile, everything begins to click for you. 

"that's your flirting?” you practically gawk in surprise and he’s tsking away from you once more. 

you’re not satisfied though, now giddy with the realization that not only was he bad at flirting, but he’d willingly admitted that he was flirting with you. your smile is blinding, and he would be content with letting it beam, if it wasn’t at his disadvantage in the first place. 

“oh god it's worse than i thought. no wonder no one wants to fuck you."

“it's not my flirting that's bad,” he holds a defensive finger to the air, “it's the fact that the person i usually flirt with is a fucking idiot. that’s why i’m not fucking anyone.”

his confession brings a wave of heat to your cheeks, and whatever alcohol was buzzing through your veins seems weak compared to the affect of a few passing words from him. 

you clear your throat before shaking your head, "well, maybe you should learn to flirt better. y’know, maybe don't make fun of their laugh within two minutes of meeting them.”

"well, i don't see you coming up with any suggestions," he passes the ball right back to your court.

and you plan to not answer him, prepare to scoff at his silly tease and change the subject. but the more you think about it, the more you let your curiosity get the best of you. 

"compliment them," your voice speaks up after a few moments.

dabi’s eyes light up with a mixture of surprise and pride, "on what?"

"anything you like about them," you shrug casually, as if it’s a simple thing you do all the time. as if you’re constantly bathing him in the knowledge of how much you love his expressive eyes, his quick comebacks, his frowns and smiles and everything in between. 

and it's not until he laughs under his breath that you realize you've been staring at him for a bit too long. that he’s been returning the eye contact and the two of you have been admiring one another for what should be an uncomfortable amount of time. but it feels relatively natural, like admiring how the moon seems to follow your car window on a midnight drive.

you decide to break the tension and stand with a playful scoff, "it's not that hard.” 

dabi’s furrowed brow silently questions your sudden absence, but when you grab your wallet and gesture to the bar, he lights up with realization. 

"you owe me one," you mumble while standing. 

he smiles and nods in appreciation, and when you're walking away from the table, he calls out to you.

"hey," you turn on your heel to be met with his lazy smirk and a look of mischief glowing in his eyes. 

naturally, he grins, "i like your stupid laugh."

[recreationalfanfics]

Forever Mine

Yandere! Ryusei Shidou x Fem! Reader (ft. implied yandere Bachira)

Summary: What happens when Ryusei’s biggest admirer/borderline stalker ends up with someone else who isn’t him? 

A/n: THIS FEELS VERY OOC, setting is confusing too bc I don’t even mention Blue Lock, I just wanted this to be very dramatic. Also, idk how to write Shidou in one shots so feedback would be very appreciated! Either way, I hope you enjoy! Also to clarify, reader is more obsessive but she learns and grows from it.

Shidou watched with displeasure as you chatted away with that stupid Bachira guy so cheerfully. He absolutely despised the look on your face as you watched Bachira talk, those love sick eyes that took in every single feature of his face, and the way your body subconsciously leaned in closer to him. It made him sick, honestly. Once upon a time, he was in Bachira’s spot, and it was HIS arm that you were begging to hang off of. 

Yeah, sure he found it annoying but he also liked the attention. Sometimes he’d indulge you and entertain himself by giving you just a miniscule amount of special attention, chuckling about how excited you got over a simple wink or sending you a small text of  sweet nothings. Then there were times where he would ignore you the whole day and leave you on read, seeing how upset and sad you looked the next day as your eyes silently begged him to look in your direction, and ultimately wondering what you did wrong for him to be so upset with you. Back then, he didn’t really feel that bad for you because it’s not like he really gave you any signs that he wanted something from you. Sure, he’d flirt here and there, but he never asked you to come back to him. Yet you always did.

Or, at least, you had.

Now here he was, glaring in jealousy as Bachira was the center of your attention and he seemed to genuinely enjoy it and care. Shidou did not want to admit that he fucked up, at first. He thought that you were only pursuing Bachira because you were just trying to get your mind off of him. Yet, when he tried to text you to assure himself that he could have you back anytime he wanted and that this was a phase, he got a notification saying he was blocked. You…blocked him. YOU BLOCKED HIM!?

He was going to confront you in public but he stopped when he saw what a happy couple you and Bachira made, it sickened him to his stomach to see you that happy with someone else. Now he was laying in his bed scrolling through his phone and reading the texts that he ignored from you, man, you were so fucking pathetic it was kinda adorable. He was also realizing that he was more than just an obsession to you, that your love for him might’ve been more genuine than he realized.

“It’s 2am and honestly, I can’t get you out of my mind. That play you made was amazing! Sure, it was overkill when you broke the guy’s leg but that steal was amazing…You’re amazing, Shidou. You’re gonna do amazing things and I hope I’m there next to you for all of it!’

“Hey, Ik you’re ignoring me today. I’m sorry if I did something wrong! I’ll take you out to make up for it if you’ll let me! There’s a great Korean restaurant that serves Yukhoe, ik that’s your fav!  I’d do anything for you, don’t forget that. <3”

“Words really can’t describe how much I think about you and how happy you make me. You’re so beautiful, even when you go wild, especially when you go wild. How can you make 

Others might think that you sounded like an infatuated stalker (which you were at this time) but to Shidou, he felt butterflies rereading these. He imagines you laying in bed sending these messages, typing these in with a big grin on your face or maybe a shy expression, and sending it with that cute-ass giggle you had. He remembers just seeing the insane amount of texts you would send him in the middle of the night and how he’d just open, scroll, and close his phone. His grip on his phone tightens at the thought of Bachira getting these texts from you, eating up your praises and responding to them unlike Shidou. He thinks about how you could’ve moved on so fast but then he sees the date on all these texts and realizes, based on how much shorter the declarations of your undying get through the months, some even dating back to one or two years ago. There was bittersweet comfort that it took you so long to forget him but it was mostly bitter because all the time and he hadn’t wanted you as badly as he did right now. 

Scrolling through the other text messages, there is one that captures his eye that was from you. One that made his eyes wide but a smirk growing on his face and broke him out of his little pity party.

“I’m yours forever, Ryusei. Til the day I die.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were waiting for Bachira, giggling at your phone and yawning a little since the both of you stayed up so late texting each other again. You’re sure you’d feel more energetic after having coffee with Bachira, who was currently on his way. You smiled to yourself as you read his texts to you last night, he was such a sweetheart in every way. You chilled out a bit after your situationship (if you could even call it that) and learned from your clingy habits but it was nice to know that Bachira was as obsessed with you as you were with him. Honestly, it was hard for you to remember that you ever had a crush on-

*SLAM*

“...Sh-Shidou?”

You didn’t even have to think of the devil’s name for him to appear, that wide smirk on his face that had you swooning but now, now you felt small and it left an ache in your heart. You no longer harbored feelings for him but the hurt that he caused you was still evident.

“Shidou? No, baby, it’s Ryu. ‘Member?” He grinned. 

The slam was made by how harshly his hand hit your table, his flattened palm laid on top of a piece of paper and he was looming dangerously close to you that you backed up as far as you could into your seat.

“Um, right,” You say, not expecting to deal with this, “So, uh, what are you doing?”

“Was gonna ask ya the same question. Y’know, last night I was thinking about you…’bout us.”

Us?

What Us? There was never an “Us”.

It was him, it was always about him.

“...Okay.” You begin with an uncertain tone because  you weren’t sure where this was going, “I don’t really know what you’re talking about.”

He chuckles lowly, once more moving closer to you. The past you would have been absolutely overjoyed for him to want to be this close to but right now, you felt cornered. Trapped. Your eyes briefly flicker to the door in hopes that your boyfriend would come in and save you.

“I missed you, you know,” He admits, his tone softer and more genuine sounding, “That’s what you wanted to hear, right? Now you can leave that freak and be with me like you always wanted.”

You are too shocked to respond right away, you weren’t sure why all of a sudden he was saying all this stuff after you hadn’t talked to him in months but you didn’t like what he was implying.

“Why would I do that?” You stand up indignantly and glare at him. He’s unfazed and tilts his head, that smirk of his becoming more irritating by the second to your eyes, “Because that’s the reason you’re with him, right? To make me jealous? Guess what, sweetheart, it worked.”

“...What? No. No, that’s not the reason I’m with Bachira. I love him a-and he loves me! He makes me happy, he’s always so sweet to me, and yeah he’s a little wild at times but I love that about hi-”

“You don’t. You love me. You’re mine forever, remember?” He then took the piece of paper that he put on the table, and showed it to you. It was one of the last texts that you sent to Shidou, you weren’t sure if you were angry or embarrassed.

Or if you were concerned because he quite literally had to screenshot that text, crop it, and then print it out just to show it to you.

“Til the day you fucking die.” He said, emphasizing each word by tapping the photo with his finger. 

You can’t do this, you decided. You can’t deal with him. You have for two years because you thought you were in love but you were slightly more mature now. More wiser in the sense of knowing that you needed to get out of there because you honestly couldn’t stand to see his face any longer. When you grab your stuff and start to move, he steps in front of you.

“Aw, what’s the matter?” He fake pouts, his tone all whiny and annoying.

“I need to go, Shidou, Bachira-” 

He pushes you back down into your seat, putting both hands in his pockets and looking down at you. It’s scary how he could change from annoying to menacing really quickly and you nervously swallowed some spit down your throat. Now you didn’t feel like you were cornered, you felt like you were in the mouth of the dragon.

“Shut the fuck up about him for a second, won’t you?” Shidou growled, “If you say his name one more time or call me “Shidou” again, watch what happens.”

Everyone is staring at you now, you notice it when Shidou stops talking and only silence fills the air. The other patrons at the caffe all look at one another or keep their eyes glued to the scene, uncertain of what course of action they should take. Shidou narrows his eyes at you, only to soften his features. Damn, you were really pretty when you were scared. He really did have to take you back because no one else should be allowed to see you like this.

“Well, this isn’t any good.” Someone spoke up from behind him, Ryusei could recognize that voice from anywhere. And from the corner of his eye, he saw you visibly perk up, “Why are you bothering my girlfriend, Insect?”

“Better question, why weren’t you here to stop me?” Shidou shot back with a now strained grin. Bachira held up the big stuffed animal, “Oh, I saw this and thought (Y/N) would like it so I was gonna surprise her with it. Now, am I gonna hafta’ break your jaw?” 

“Oh, I bet you think you could, bowl cut-”

“Shidou!” You frown, making him stop in his tracks, “Please…leave. Just leave me and Bachira alone.”

 Fuck, you’re cute when you begged too. He looks at you before glancing over at your boyfriend, who was just daring him to do something before he looks at you.

“Fine,” He says, stuffing the paper into his pocket, “but remember, you’re the one to blame for this-” 

   He then turned around and smiled at Bachira, “And you’re just my placeholder, kay?”

    Bachira stuck his tongue out in response and made his way by your side, wrapping a protective arm around you as Shidou left but make no mistake, princess, he was coming back.

After all, you belonged to him. You can’t just overwhelm him with your love and take it all back.

He won’t let you.

[claireborowski]

Man last night was so great, got so wasted and drank soooo much. Wish I could do this all the time. But now I'm starving..and food is a bit slim around my house..hmm...what to do.

And was kind of convinced, fuck that dumb voice of reason hehehe. Time to get turned into a stupid fat hog for everyone to tease and humiliate. I want to be a piggy so bad. Want to become so massive and huge that even moving limbs is a chore in itself. So why don't you all help me out hmm? I know it'll be worth your time~

You'd just love to ruin a perfectly fit cutie like me and turn me into something massive. Unable to be recognized by anyone. Just a pile of fat lard. I want my body ruined. So why don't you all help me? I'll make sure it's worth your labor and efforts. I'll be your perfect piggy. You wanna see me struggle to do anything, having to stay at home and be lazy, dumb, and pathetic. My brain turned to mush hundreds of pounds ago.

Only think I can say is oinks and squeals. Or moos if you prefer. Killing my brain with weed and alcohol and all that beautiful mind corruption. Drunk almost all the time, borderline briming to explode from how full I'll be. I know you want this, don't be shy to indulge into a project of a piggy. I promise to make it worth it.

So come on..hit me up. I've been waiting for you.