#like australian english has has funky vowels and all

[vikinglanguage]

#I only just now looked at the tags of the original post and now I'm sad op only seems to like it ironically :(#You just have no taste op#Nze is unironically beautiful#And I'm actually kind of sad now

@im-the-trash-man NO I DONT MEAN IT IRONICALLY. I 100 PERCENT UNIRONICALLY L O V E THE PHONOLOGY OF KIWI ENGLISH

when i say the vowel chart looks like absolutely garbage that's a compliment. It's far too left leaning and the vowels are in all the wrong places. I absolutely adore it.

Because the vowel chart of my native tongue is this absolute trainwreck (also I think this is a conservative version? there's only 16, and I thought the usual consensus was 22):

theres literally no reason to have that many phonemes within the [e]-[æ] area (frankly, I can't even hear all the nuances. Maybe it's an accent thing). BUT EVEN MORE IMPORTANTLY. The Danish [e̝], which I would say is the standard /e/ is placed almost the exact same place as NZE [e], [ɛ] is in the same place, [ø] as well, and NZE has A ROUNDED HIGH CENTRAL VOWEL [ʉː] which makes my [y] loving heart so happy. Further, the placement of [ɒ]? That's just a solid <å> placement, good job. And to be honest, I never could get the hang of the "real" [ɑ], and I always wondered why we even use it in Danish transscription, because it's definitely way more [a] and NZE [a] being further back than Danish [ɑ] is just proof that the transscription conventions for Danish SUCK.

What I'm getting at is that I like NZE vowels, because to me they, for some inexplicable reason, just seem more recognisable?? But also it's just funǃ No [u]? Fucking revolutionary. No [æ] excent in diphthongs? Good, it's an ugly vowel anyway (yes, it's in my name, no, i don't like it). Fuck RP, that shit's boring. Give me fun vowels or give me death.

and don't even get me started on stressed /ə/. My favourite vowel FINALLY IN THE SPOTLIGHT.

NZE also has consonants (like, yknow, literally every other langauge) but I don't have much to say about them exceptː

Largely non-rhotics, which I like. Never been good with traditional /ɹ/, and it doesn't help that I have to mentally prepare myself every time I hear a Dane speak English, because it might just be /w/.

Often times, /l/ is velarised, which I'm still on the fence about. I think it's a kind of fun sound, but I feel ridiculous making it myself, and I hate how people call it dark. Prefer the consistency of it almost always being velarised to the randomness of certain other varieties though.

more [ʃ]. good.

also nze has the advantage over australian english that it's got funky vowels, but doesn't make the danish crown princess sound like my 70yo professor bill

thanks for coming to my tedtalk

i know you all know about the kiwi accent, but if you know ipa and are otherwise interested in phonology, i'm begging you to read the wikipedia article

nze is the most valid dialect of english and i will not hear otherwise. they have STRESSED /ə/