#like at this point it only gets to me in the ‘i have no positive human interaction’ way i dont consciously take what they say to heart

[peachii-nitenite]

Much Needed Support (sfw-suggestive content) Part 2

Synopsis: Now sick with a stress cold, Jayce and Viktor take you back to your dorm to rest. And also to unpack everything that happened in the lab. Upon reminiscing, the boys get an idea. 2.2k wordcount Content: reader with feminine pronouns, sexual tension, fluff, partial nudity, boys getting shy about said nudity, mutual pining, self-doubt, idiots in love, getting sick, friends to lovers, pervy daydreams, discussions on medical neglect, mentions of chronic pain, descriptions of chronic pain (slightly implied hand kink???), Jayce's corset kink lol

while i would consider this part PG-13, part 3 might end up being actual smut at this point...

The sun was low in the sky when you finally stirred awake, the late afternoon sun blazing through the windows of the lab. You found yourself curled up in the blanket your friends had so graciously lent you, with Jayce’s coat beneath your head as an impromptu pillow. You could still smell him on it: a clean smelling cologne, black coffee, and forge smoke.

It was some of the best sleep you’d had in weeks.

Still not enough to completely banish your fatigue, but enough to feel a bit of relief. The gentle sounds of quiet tinkering and clinking of delicate tools echoed from across the room.

“Still hard at work…” you mused sleepily.

Jayce perked up from his workbench once he noticed you stirring. Perhaps you were still half asleep, because the level of fondness in his eyes as he smiled over at you seemed a bit more than the norm. 

Or perhaps, you had simply dismissed it before.

He set down whatever he was tinkering on as strode over. You wanted to sit up, but the position you were in was so comfortable you could almost feel yourself going back to sleep.

“Shh…you can sleep a little longer” he murmured softly, gently stroking your upper back. You let out a sleepy hum, burrowing your face further into his jacket. You felt him pause for a moment, but paid it no mind.

“…mhm…what time ‘s it?” You mumble groggily, eyes struggling to stay open.

“Half past five, we’re gonna wrap up here soon, okay?”

You merely hummed once more, letting your eyes close again. It had been 5 hours…you briefly wondered if they’d been working nonstop this whole time. It was extremely likely.

When you open your eyes again, the lab is dark, and Viktor is the one gently nudging you awake, encouraging you to sit up. You felt warm this time, head a bit foggy and tight. Blearily, you rasp out his name, discovering your throat is sore.

A day cold. Great.

“It’s time to get up now, can you do that?”

The tenderness in his voice makes you want to melt, but all you do is attempt to comply. You groan as you sit up from your comfy spot, the ache slowly starting to settle back in. The moment you attempt to stand, you buckle, promptly sliding back onto the couch. In an instant, Jayce is at your side worriedly looking you over.

“Are you alright? Do you need me to carry you?”

In any other circumstance you’d have refused, but now feeling iller and achier by the moment since waking up, you agreed readily; allowing him to scoop you up into strong, warm arms. It was as if you weighed nothing at all to him; his hold on you was gentle, but secure. You promptly wrapped your arms around his neck and dozed back off, only perking up at the occasional softly spoken “you okay?” From Jayce. You could feel his voice rumble in his chest like the purr of a big cat, and something about it made you want to hide your face in the crook of his neck. Instead, you merely grumbled and nodded each time.

At some point, you felt Viktor’s cool hand against your forehead- sliding down to your cheek as you leaned into it. It felt so refreshing against your warm skin, the contrast evidence of your rising temperature. His brows furrowed, noticing the slight sheen of sweat accumulating on your skin.

“She’s feverish.” He murmured, softly as if not to disturb you further. Though he was stating the obvious, the observation did not go unheard. You grumbled a sleepy rebuttal that sounded vaguely like, “I’ll be fine”, which was promptly ignored.

You were going to be taken care of whether you liked it or not.

“Do you remember if she has a thermometer at her place?” Jayce asked, hoping that they wouldn’t have to make another stop on the way. Viktor shrugged, adjusting his grip on his cane. 

“We can worry about that later, getting her into a proper bed to rest is the main priority at the moment” Viktor assured him. You nodded against Jayce’s chest.

Bed. Bed sounded nice…

It felt like an eternity before you reached your dorm, but eventually the telltale sound of your keys in Viktor’s deft hands, swiftly getting the door open so Jayce could lie you down.

With you safely tucked into bed, a cold towel draped over your forehead; the two men opted to stick around, hanging out in your living room after scrounging around your medicine cabinet for anything that might help.

Just in case you needed them of course.

No other reason.

Definitely not because they needed time to unpack several different feelings that welled up in that lab.

Jayce definitely had it the worst at the moment.

There was relief, of course, that you had come to them for help and allowed them to examine you. And then there was the dawning realization that he was a much weaker man than he initially thought he was when it came to you. He was always eager to help, truly! But the actual task at hand proved far more difficult to focus on when he actually had you on that table in front of him, clearly flustered with your skirt hiked up, with his hand on your soft thigh. He had done so well at holding it together before then, getting lost in the math and the banter with Viktor. But once he noticed how you suddenly tensed up he was flung headfirst into the soft, warm reality of your skin beneath his palm.

He had had dreams exactly like this. Dreams that ended very differently, and much more messily.

And that’s why he had to pull away. He felt guilty. You had come for help, and there he was trying not to get hard over a bit of exposed skin.

And then the corset. The damned corset.

He felt no better than a dog, but watching you shed your sweater to reveal your makeshift brace made his blood rush to a very unfortunate place considering the situation. He thanked whatever gods were out there that you were facing away from him, so that you couldn’t see his shame as he struggled to maintain his composure.

How could you be so beautiful? The overhead light illuminating your topless form, as you ever so slightly leaned into his touch any time his hands were on you. Viktor had teased him before; about his…fondness for corsetry. But this was far beyond anything he had seen on old posters or the dirty magazines he used to hide under his bed. 

You were real, you were warm, and he could hear how your breath hitched oh so sweetly whenever he touched you. 

The first few times he thought he was imagining it, that he was finally losing his mind over something seemingly very small. But he kept hearing it, kept seeing it, kept feeling you shiver under his fingertips. 

And it was testing his limits.

And he knew he wasn’t the only one.

Viktor considered himself a rational man. A focused man.

But that ration and focus went straight out of the window once looked up at you, with your calf in his hand, to be greeted with a tiny glimpse of your underwear.

He had been so focused, so practical up until that point- all to be shattered by the reality of what he so dearly desired being literally right in front of his face.

He fiercely wanted to help, after all; he had been down the same road you were currently on. A path littered with pain, apprehension, and isolation. He knew all too well what a difficult situation you were in: which is why he was so disgusted with himself for being unable to shake the mental image of that sliver of fabric between your legs from his mind.

At the very least, he could distract himself with the note taking, the numbers, the measurements- all of the things that required him to take his eyes off of you. But unfortunately, his reprieve was short lived when the time came for you to take your corset off. He had to step in; considering that by the look on Jayce’s face, the poor man might have short-circuited before he could even touch the first lace.

The quiet was deafening, and he focused on keeping his breath even behind you as he got to work. He didn't want to make you uncomfortable after all; so the quicker he got it off of you, the quicker he’d be able to ignore how uncomfortable his pants suddenly felt. 

When he laid his hand on your back, basking in the soft expanse of your warm skin, he could admit that it was partially self-indulgent. Not yet wanting to pull away, wanting to pull you closer-

Wanting to bend you over the desk.

But still, he backed away, taking his place beside Jayce as you discarded both the corset and your flimsy undershirt. 

In that moment, they briefly locked eyes- one understanding the other completely.

Their friendship was a strong one, one that had developed into something a bit… more.

And It had come up before, of course it had. Jayce was terrible at keeping secrets, and Viktor didn’t feel the need to. So both of them quickly realized that they both harbored a rather severe crush for you. But their mutual attraction to you was more of an abstract concept before; a passing thought, a daydream, a sleep deprived rant, or an unhinged dream. Something that came up late at night when neither of them could sleep, or when one of them had had a bit too much to drink.

 How they would take you, where they would do it-

How they would share.

But it was never anything seemingly possible. Not nearly as possible as it felt now.

And then you turned around.

And the spiral continued- at a rapid, unrelenting pace.

Viktor had the good sense to look away first, but not before getting a good eyeful of your bare breasts. He was not a child. He had seen breasts before. But it was you- And that was all the difference. He had to discreetly pinch Jayce to get him to quickly follow suit.

Your comfort came first, above all else, despite his foolish yearning.

Jayce felt much the same, in spite of how awestruck he was at the sight of you. He would replay that moment in his mind over and over again, eyes screwed closed as he covered his face with his hand. Once they had forced you to nap, it was easier. But only slightly.

They made good progress on the plans for your updated braces, throwing themselves into the work to escape the torment of their own overactive imaginations. But every so often, they would get distracted by a soft groan or a sigh coming from your sleeping form on the couch.

It was all too easy to mistake it for something more sensual, with their minds so deep in the gutter.

Once you finally woke up, the trip to your dorm was a quiet one. And now with the two of them sitting alone in your living room, they could digest it all.

Both of them sat on your couch, Viktor’s legs draped over Jayce’s lap as he gave his math a once over. “...it's hardly fair” Jayce grumbled quietly, thumbing over a slender calf through the fabric of Viktor’s pants.

“..what?” Viktor looked up from his notes, with a quizzical expression

“How cute she is.” the larger man sighed, putting his face in his hands and groaning.

“Don't start this. Not now.” Viktor warned, rolling his eyes as he returned to writing. “Thinking about it will only make it worse, and mind you, I won’t be able to help you considering we are at her place.” he stated matter of factly.

“I know you think so too” he pouted, reminiscent of a scolded puppy. Viktor sighed.

“It doesn't matter if I also think so. It’s irrelevant at the moment.” Viktor stated plainly “Are here to look after her. Nothing more. Our feelings don't matter.”

They both knew he was lying.

Silence fell between the two men for a few seconds.

Viktor closed his notebook with a frustrated exhale, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“...I think she might be interested in us. Like we are in her.” Viktor admitted, a pensive whisper breaking the silence.

It was Jayce's turn to be surprised. “What?” 

“It’s merely a theory. One that requires more…observation.” There was something lurking beneath his clinical terminology. Something playful. Something that nearly made Jayce shiver with anticipation.

“Somehow, I feel like this ‘theory’ of yours is an excuse for us to make the first move.” Jayce chuckled lowly. 

“Eh, not quite.” he corrected, setting the notebook aside. “Ideally, we would hear it from her directly. Through simple questions, perhaps over coffee, or dinner-” Viktor elaborated. A gap toothed grin spread across Jayce’s face, letting his hand snake further up Viktor’s leg.

 “-So a date? You want us to take her on a date?!” Viktor smiled at Jayce’s enthusiasm, before promptly swatting away the hand that was getting dangerously close to his crotch. 

“We will wait until she is no longer ill. And I already told you- Hands to yourself, and let me continue.” 

Jayce pouted, opting to let his hand rest over Viktor’s ankle.

 “You're cruel, you know that?”

“As if you’d have me any other way. Now, do you want to listen or not?”

“I do…”

“Good. There is much to consider.”

—

Whew! This one took a lot outta me! We’ll be getting to the juicy bits next time!

<Prev part    next part>

[melosliving]

I loveeee kelvin and pregnant reader. Can you do a aaron version?🥺🥺

i love when y’all are asking for thingssss pls keep doing this it makes my day. Hope you’ll like it !!

aaron pierre x pregnant!reader

husband!aaron who promised himself he would only get you pregnant after putting a ring on your finger first. (yes he is intentional like that.)

husband!aaron who actually can’t go on with his day without imagining how pretty you would look being pregnant. And he knew you’d be the most incredible mother ever.

It’s the way you coo at any baby looking in your direction or how you would soften whenever you two would pass by the baby section at the store.

"Look papa ! that’s actually so tiny.." you would say, holding a random onesie in your hands.

husband!aaron who softly takes your hand and let you handle things every single time someone asks when y’all will be having kids, wanting to remain calm because he actually hated these type of question.

"I know you’re not all up in my business, cousin." You would say, pointing teasingly at your cousin.

husband!aaron who can’t help but look at you like you were the most beautiful and priceless woman every time he would see you napping with a relative’s kid during a family gathering.

husband!aaron who starts to stress himself when thinking about having a kid with you, leading him to be awake at 3 am but still holding one of your hand in his since he wants to be close to you.

"..baby ?" he would watch you tilt your head towards him, your fingers rubbing your sleepy eyes. "why are you not sleeping ? what’s wrong ?" you would ask, pulling yourself up.

"nothing lovie, go back to sleep."

"uh-uh." you answered, going to take his hand, laying you two down again but this time he had his torso and head on your belly, his arms circling your waist. "tell me."

he would sigh, his fingers tracing shapes on your belly. "actually.. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something but I’m starting to overthink it." he explains. "I want to have a baby with you. I think we’re ready. But I can’t help but wonder if we’re really ready, and if you really want this with me, if we’re stable enough and what if-"

he would stop himself at the feeling of your hand going down his face, using your finger to pull his chin up so he would be looking at you. "doudou, I wouldn’t have married you if i didn’t want babies with you." you say in your typical softness. "I’ve always wanted you to be the father of my kids."

husband!aaron in who from this day, something primal awakes every time y’all make love. Best believe it’s either he asks you if you really want this, or you tell him to just get you pregnant.

husband!aaron who tries to be between your legs every time of the day. He really has no business wanting to make love to you like that.

husband!aaron who is actually the one who tells you that you’re pregnant. He would immediately notice something different about you. that something being your boobies.

"baby have you seen my br- why are you lookin at my tits like that, you freak ?" You would ask, actually bare chest, only your legs covered by your towel.

"baby, have you thought about taking a pregnancy test ?"

"boy you have lost your mind. Help me find my bra, my mom is waiting for me !"

husband!aaron who is so nosy he would ask to be in the bathroom while you took the test.

husband!aaron who only smiled brightly at you when the test came back positive. He would hold you close to him while you started to cry a bit because of the shock.

"I got you, baby. I got you." He would kiss your forehead, actually grateful for this moment.

husband!aaron who would watch your every move, every breath you would take only to make sure you were okay. he would actually get on your nerves.

pregnant!reader who goes full kylie jenner on the world, since she wanted a quiet pregnancy.

husband!aaron who goes to his mom to ask for baby clothes him and his siblings wore when they were born.

husband!aaron who quietly cries after the first ultrasound. Seeing the tiny flicker of the baby’s heartbeat on the ultrasound overwhelmed him in ways he never thought possible.

husband!aaron who started documenting everything, especially every silly craving you had.

"can you hold this for me, pretty ?" He would ask, stopping in one of the grocery store’s aile. Indeed, he was really adamant about taking pictures of every cravings you had.

"bubba needs to know what you put me through,” he joked, snapping a picture while you rolled your eyes.

husband!aaron who sat beside you during every sleepless night, rubbing your back when the discomfort got too much. “I wish I could take this part for you,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I wished you could too." You would answer, laughing.

soon-to-be-father!aaron who nearly passed out when you went into labor but composed himself immediately because he knew you were going through one of the most traumatic experiences of your life.

soon-to-be-father!aaron who held your hand, murmuring words of encouragement even as his own hands shook.

“You’re so strong, lovie. You’ve got this,” he said, tears slipping down his cheeks when he heard the first cries of your baby.

mom!reader who sobs as she looks into her baby’s eyes.

"Aaron ! the baby has your eyes color !" you would cry, looking at your baby beautiful eyes.

boy dad!aaron who held your baby boy for the first time with trembling hands, staring at his tiny face like it was the most precious thing he’d ever seen.

“He’s so small… but so perfect,” Aaron whispered, his voice cracking as he kissed the baby’s forehead.

"I’ll forever be grateful for this gift you have given me, baby." he would say, looking back at you with his eyes full of love.

@ melosliving 2025

[haikyu-mp4]

November

word count; 1033 – f!reader

Kozume Kenma did not want to be in the library right now. If he had his way, he would be asleep under a warm duvet all day now that classes had ended for the semester. Unfortunately, he had a lot to learn before exams, and there was no time to waste.

He chose a seat by the table in the back, which was only occupied by one other student, who he didn’t acknowledge at all. You eventually took notice of him, though. The cute guy with the outgrown bleach was looking down at his schoolwork with a frown, and you were very amused. You stretched your arm out to get his attention, and Kenma eventually looked up with a face that bridged between annoyed and confused. He looks like a kitten, you thought. "What did that book ever do to you?"

"It mocks my lack of will. So if you could try not to distract me, that would be great," he answered, which ended your conversation abruptly. You smirked to yourself, picked up a pen and got to work on your next drawing after taking a sip from your water bottle. Kenma calmly put on his headphones, a sign to please leave him alone.

After about half an hour, Kenma sat back in his seat to stretch. His spine cracked, and he clapped his cheeks to stay awake. You took this as your opportunity and flipped your drawing pad to show him the newest masterpiece. Kenma turned his head at the motion, and his face quickly fell in disbelief. You had drawn him how he looked today, except with ears and a nose that resembled a calico cat. He frowned when he noticed your wide and proud smile. Annoyingly enough, he was impressed by your unusual art style. When Kenma looked down at his notes again, he couldn't help the small smile that crept onto his face. A light rosy colour tinted his cheeks despite his efforts to stay cool, and your heart fluttered. Mission accomplished.

A week later, even closer to exams, Kenma made his way to the library again. To his surprise, the woman he still didn't know the name of was there too. With a quick rundown of positives and negatives in his head, he decided to take a seat across from you.

You sat like that every day for the whole school week. Kenma tried his best to cram as many facts as he could and actually started to feel like this exam might go well. He didn't quite know what the person across from him was working on, but you had several different coloured pens and even a small box of watercolours along with a brush that somehow stored the water you needed in the handle. He started wondering, and before he could stop himself, "Are you allowed to paint in here?"

Your eyes met, unconsciously having a staring contest for one too many seconds. Oh, so he wants to talk to me now? When his eyes wandered around your face and hands, he noticed that you weren’t exactly being careful with your colours either.

"No one has told me not to," you said slowly as if trying to convince him. A small smile graced his lips, and you felt greedy for more of it.

"Sounds like solid reasoning to me," Kenma agreed and leaned back in his chair. His hand lifted to point at the back of your large notepad, "What are you creating now, then?"

Abashingly, you turned it around. You had filled the whole page, and he recognised it as the library you were currently in, but with much more sunshine and colours, orange flowers growing from the books and pink cows making their way across the floor in the back. "I study visual arts. We have to create an exhibition, and my theme is perspective." His mouth fell open slightly as he nodded in understanding when you explained.

"It's cool. You're good at that." Kenma kept his voice low, and something about it was so enticing to you. He spoke so calmly and every emotion of his was a mystery. "I'm Kenma."

"I'm y/n." After settling down from your little conversation, you kept sipping from your water bottle. Kenma’s mouth dried every time he heard the sound. He did his best to clear his throat, realising he hadn’t brought anything to drink.

“Do you have an inspiration?” he asked, mostly wondering if you actually saw the words that way.

The corner of your mouth quirked. “I’ve always like games, it’s affected the way I see the world. Sorry, that probably sounds like childish imagination.”

Kenma thought back to the things he’d imagine when he ran in high school for volleyball practice. The way he’d make it into a game. “No, I… Uh, I totally get it.”

You two naturally fell into silent, individual work again. Kenma kept glancing over at your paintings, but whenever you met his gaze, he would look away. Eventually, the sun went down, and you both started clearing the table, silently packing everything into your bags. Come on, Kenma. Just smile at her and say something. However, somewhat luckily, you beat him to it.

"Hey, Kenma?" He lifted his head swiftly, eyebrows raised, happy that you started the conversation. "Do you want to get a drink?" You weren’t necessarily nervous, but undoubtedly hopeful for his answer. The corners of his mouth lifted in a kind, small smile. You had both picked up your bags and stood beside the table.

"A drink? Yeah, sure." Kenma’s voice sent a shiver down your spine again, and you straightened up with an even broader smile.

"Fun! Cool, cool, cool- The student bar?"

"I've only been there once or twice before, never saw the charm." The student bar had a certain vibe that didn't fit him when he just wanted to drink. A lot of people were there to socialise with new people, and Kenma was not interested.

"The beer is cheaper there," you said in a sing-songy voice to try and convince the handsome man. Kenma wasn't entirely convinced, but if you wanted to go there, then he wouldn't argue.

"Lead the way."

The Schoolyear Series ║ masterlist

[amberinn]

something between

yess she's so insane and fucked up (having specific one of my friends in mind for this too, tysm for supporting me and accepting me lowkey it's good to have ground you believe to be semi-stable) (attachment issues are real and a bitch)

deemed problematic

ignoring me, because I get in the way of a ship

minor coded (which i will at some point grow out of. I mean I swear a lot, that must mean people would find me at least somewhat scary and mature---- wait, fuck, tommyinnit. oh im doomed.)

get hc'd as something and reduced to the hc

?? people in media usually strive for positive autism representation, right

knowing that I'm on my own journey of actually growing out of being albeist (which I only ever was in the first place, because I was scared of myself)

and somewhere in between where I accept who I am, and sometimes still flaunt stereotypes around trying to half heartedly con (lie/convince) people into believing I deserve some sort of .... I don't know? things? benefits?

and sometimes I double lie, because I actually DO need to (get out of the meeting, because it's getting to me, but I don't want other people to think I'm this weak, so if lie about pretending to lie)

and there will be sides to me, but people WILL at some point think I represent something with me being me

and they'll be displeased it's most likely bad.

I have flaws, like.

lots of them.

I'm like the least kinneable character in existance tbh ;

it's so crazy how that was my first thought when people can p much also reduce me to

pathetic wet cat

angry bitch

child

or something worse, yikes.

"shes so pathetic and bbg i want to torture them" (pls dont im already tortured enough.... ok finneeeeee.... for enrichment)

[annebd]

This is not!fic. Inspired by this gif and the way that the maxiel brain rot immediately threw this idea at me.

Max is a student in some sort of art-adjacent course. Perhaps architecture or some kind of engineering program that has a significant design component.

For hand-wavey reasons, his program requires that he take at least one traditional art class. He can’t escape it, despite his best efforts, so he gets stuck taking Drawing and Painting 101.

It’s just as terrible as he suspects. He has a decent level of natural artistic ability, but he can’t be bothered to put in any effort at all. He insists on drawing one single apple for the still life unit. He adds a worm to it. His landscapes are indistinct blobs of blue and green oil paint. His charcoal work is just a series of black smudges on page after page of his sketchbook.

His professor is wholly unimpressed and is on the verge of dropping him from the course entirely and requiring him to start over again next semester. They have several tense meetings during office hours about it, with the professor practically begging him to just try. Max stubbornly refuses to admit that this isn’t the best work he’s capable of. No one believes him.

Then they get to the life study module.

Max shows up and sulks over to his usual spot towards the back of the room and slumps into his chair. He hasn’t even looked at the model yet. He hadn’t planned to look at all. His plan was just to draw a random person- perhaps a series of stick figures- and call it a day. 
He’s scrolling on his phone, waiting for class to start, and he hears a big honking laugh. It’s distracting enough that he looks up, only to meet eyes with the most gorgeous man he’s ever seen. Who is in the middle of dropping his robe to reveal the most gorgeous cock Max has ever seen.

He grabs his stuff and moves right up to the front row, where he has never, not once, sat before. The entire class just stares as he whips out his sketchbook and a drafting pencil- completely the wrong implement for this sort of class- to start drawing like a man possessed.

The model (whom the professor introduces as Daniel and says will be joining their class for the next three weeks as they move through the life study segment of the course) hasn’t even had a chance to get into position yet. He’s just standing there, dick blowing in the breeze, and Max is sketching up a storm.

Within minutes, he’s produced a practically photorealistic rendition of Daniel- or at least, approximately six and a half inches’ worth of Daniel. Then he does another. And another. Daniel is moving through the poses that the professor has asked him to do- two 30 minute poses, a couple 15 minute ones, and then a few that he holds for just 5 minutes each. Max is unconcerned about the change in poses. He’s just churning out sketch after hyperrealistic sketch of Daniel’s cock.

He’s painstakingly penciling in every single one of Daniel’s individual pubes. He’s leaning in as close as he can get in order to map out the exact curve of the flare of his head. At one point, he nearly reaches out to grab Daniel’s hip to turn him a little more to Max’s direction, but before he can make contact, his professor grabs him by the back of his hoodie and yanks him back into his seat.

Max blushes a little at that but doesn’t stop sketching.

After the class, he waits impatiently for Daniel to get dressed (he wasn’t raised in a barn. He has some manners) before he goes over and says “I’m Max. Can I please buy you a coffee? And then also suck you off?”

Daniel is charmed and also a little confused, but he’s not going to turn down caffeine and a blowie from a beautiful boy.

They live happily ever after.

(Max submits all of the sketches that he does of Daniel’s schlong as part of his final portfolio, and the professor agrees that they’re evidence enough of his abilities, so Max passes the class- just barely. He says it was by the skin of his teeth. Daniel says it was by the foreskin of his dick.)

[tuesdaykiss]

“touching toes”

rafe cameron social media au

“he’s over more and more, had to give him a whole drawer. to be honest, kinda like seeing his trainers by the door.” — olivia dean, ‘touching toes’.

synopsis: after finishing her fashion studies at college in nyc, y/n moves to outerbanks to live with her grandparents. she worries about the loneliness that comes with being in a new place, knowing only her cousin topper and other relatives… that is until she is acquainted with a certain cameron.

part - 22 | 23 | 24

masterlist

warnings: swearing, slightest mention of sex

you’d been turning the conversation over in your head for hours, trying to predict exactly how it would go. you knew topper wouldn’t take the news well, and while rafe seemed calm, you could feel the nervous edge in the way his fingers tapped on your thigh.

“you sure you don’t want me to handle this?” rafe asked you again, as he pulled into the driveway.

“no,” you said firmly, “it has to come from me: he’ll take it better if it’s from me.”

rafe gave you a skeptical look but didn’t argue.

the door opened almost immediately after rafe knocked, not even giving his hand time to leave the wood. topper’s usual cocky smirk fell the second he saw the two of you standing together. “what the hell is this?” he asked, clearly confused as to why you’d be together, holding a beer in his right hand.

“hey, top,” you said carefully, your voice remained calm as you attempted not to provoke your cousin, “can we come in? we need to talk.”

his eyes narrowed in suspicion, flicking slowly between you and rafe before he stepped aside to let you in. “this better be good,” he muttered, as though this were some big inconvenience to his day, before closing the door behind you.

the three of you settled in the living room — topper sprawled on the couch, you on the armchair to the side of him, and rafe hovering behind you like a silent anchor. the air felt heavy with unspoken words, and you could tell topper was bracing himself for the potential bomb you were about to drop.

“alright,” topper smacked his lips, impatience coursing through him as he sipped his beer. “what’s going on? you two best friends now or something?”

you exchanged a glance with rafe before choosing your next words. “not exactly,” you said slowly, “we’re… well, we’re together— rafe and i. we’ve been seeing each other.”

for a moment, there was silence. then topper let out a laugh — a sharp sound of disbelief. “you’re joking,” he said, looking between you, “tell me you’re joking.”

“i’m not,” you hesitated, your voice remained steady though you were startled by his response.

topper’s laugh cut off abruptly, his jaw tightening. before you knew it, he had rose from his seating position and was heading straight for rafe — blinded by pure rage. taking his thick index finger, topper harshly stabbed rafe’s chest over and over, in between his words, “are you fucking serious? what is this to you, huh? something to just piss me off?”

he was seething, but rafe remained calm, his tone firm and steady, “no, i care about her, top,” he smiled at his own confession, “like really fucking care about her. and i get that it’s hard for you, but this has nothing to do with you.”

topper stood, breathing in and out at a rapid pace, steam rolling off him. rafe continued, “you had no problem going after sarah, so don’t start acting like you have moral high ground here”

but rafe’s words only riled topper up further, “oh, so this is what this is?” topper flashed a grin one could only describe as sinister, “getting back at me for fucking your sister? revenge.”

before rafe could interject topper continued, stepping away from rafe slightly, his finger still pointing in his direction, “you know i always knew you weren’t okay with it. always had a problem with it didn’t you, rafe? you might not have said it… but i knew.”

“not at all—“

“you lying bastard,” topper lunged at rafe, causing you to spring out of your seat in an attempt to prevent the brewing altercation.

you stood in the middle of the two boys. you hands rested firmly on the shoulders of your cousin as you attempted to lessen his anger, rage was still evident on his face — you’d never seen him so angry.

“top, please don’t do this,” you spoke softly.

“he’s out of his mind if he thinks he gets to mess with you,” topper muttered, barely above a whisper.

rafe’s jaw clenched, but his voice didn’t reveal his building irritation, “i’m not messing with her. i— i love her, top.”

you froze at his words, but now wasn’t the time to delve into them. topper scoffed, “unbelievable. you’ve been sneaking behind my back and you think that’s — what? justi-fucking-fiable?”

“it’s not like that,” you ran your hands down his shoulders, in a way to calm him down, “we weren’t trying to hurt you, topper. we just… wanted to figure things out before telling anyone.”

“and you’ve just figured it out now, have you?” topper snapped, “you’ve seriously lost it, y/n. do you even know what you’re getting yourself into with him?”

“i don’t need you to tell me what i’m doing,” you shot back! “i’m not a kid!”

rafe interjected, his tone unwavering, “i’m not playing games, and i’m not here to hurt her. you know me, top. i wouldn’t do that.”

topper’s breathing eventually began to steady as he reached a state of neutrality. he sighed, before turning to you with an intensity about him, “this isn’t going to be easy, y/n. it’s… complicated. and it’s messy— for you, for me, for everyone.”

“i know, but i care about him. i’m not going to just throw it all away because it’s hard or because you don’t like it.”

topper ran his hand through his hair. “god, this is such a mess,” he muttered. he turned back to rafe, pointing a finger at him once more, “if you screw this up, i swear to god—”

“i won’t,” rafe firmly cut him on, “you have my word.”

the room fell into an uneasy silence, tension hanging in the air. you all sank back into your original placing within the living room before topper spoke up, “i can’t lie, i’m not thrilled… but if this is what you want, y/n then… whatever.”

you exhaled i’m relief, rafe’s hand coming up to brush against your back in silent support. it wasn’t perfect, but it was a start — topper would come round.

“you’ll come around,” rafe said with a small, knowing smirk — as though he’d read your mind — earning a glare from topper.

“don’t push your luck,” topper snapped, but there was a hint fo resignation in his voice.

as you and rafe left the house, the weight of the confrontation slowly lifted, replaced by a tentative sense of hope. it wasn’t the smoothest conversation, but at least the truth was out. and that, for now, was enough.

rafe’s close friends story

sarahcameron replied to his story:

nan looking a bit different here 😂

“what the fuck is sarah on about,” rafe laughed, holding his phone up to you as you both entered your grandparents’ home. the house was silent, the elder couple having departed from the living room to go to sleep.

“oh, i told the pogues i couldn’t hang today… because i was with nan,” you grinned down at him, as you shedded your coat while he removed his trainers placing them in their usual position by the door.

“you gonna tell them about us?”

“yeah,” you smiled, hiding your uncertainty: the pogues and kooks had never really gotten along, this was foreign territory and you didn’t know how they’d take it. “i like it when you put your trainers there, by the way.”

“what?” rafe let out a small laugh, amused.

“i don’t know, it’s just… nice,” you grasped his hand guiding him to your bedroom, “a nice reminder that you’re here… with me.”

and with that, he pulled you closer and joined your lips, kissing you softly.

later, when the two of you found yourselves tangled in the sheets of your bed, you whispered, “so did you mean it?”

the room was dark, so you couldn’t visibly see rafe’s face but his confused was apparent, “mean what?”

“what you said at topper’s…” he remained just as confused, “that you loved me.”

“course i did,” he smiled, before planting a kiss on your nose.

“well, i love you too.”

your arms wrapped around his broad shoulders, as you pulled him impossibly close, deepening the kiss. his wide hands cupped your cheeks, holding you face like it was the most delicate object he’d even held.

before things could escalate, “you know, i’ve been thinking,” rafe started, “about how much i like this— you.”

a warmth spread through your cheeks, but you stayed quite, letting him continue.

“i’ve never felt this way before,” he admitted, his voice quieter now “not with anyone. and i don’t want to pretend like this is casual or temporary, because it’s not. at least, not for me.

as his words sunk in, your breath hitched, “rafe…”

he shifted closer, propping himself up on one elbow to look down at you — though the lack of lighting made it very difficult. “i know things aren’t perfect. i’m not perfect. but i want try — really try — with you.”

you blinked up at him, heart pounding in your chest as he reached out and gently brushed a strand of hair out of your face.

“so,” he continued, a smile growing on his face though you couldn’t see it well, “will you be my girlfriend? officially?”

the question hung in the air, you were in utter surprise at what he’d said, your emotions swirling.

“yes,” you whispered, your voice soft but certain, “of course, i’ll be your girlfriend — yes!”

he was suddenly filled with emotions of relief and happiness, as he leaned down to kiss your lips once more, before gently kissing your forehead. “you just made me the happiest guy in the world,” he murmured against your skin.

“you’ve gone soft, cameron,” you laughed softly as you reached up to cup his jaw.

“only for you,” he said, settling back beside you and pulling you into his chest.

as you lay there, wrapped up in him, you feet rubbing against his, you couldn’t help but feel like things were finally falling into place.

you’d told topper, albeit his reaction may not have been what you hoped, but you were one step closer. all you had to do now was tell the pogues… and the internet.

your camera roll

a/n: thank you for all the lovely comments, i seriously appreciate all of the love on this smau — not long left to go!

haven’t proof read so sorry in advance :)

taglist: @my-name-is-baby @yesshewrites1 @urbrunettebombshell @leather-n-velvet @fruitcakerafe @littlefreak-liz @wdwbts101 @akobx @lossfairy @marleymarleymarleymarley @jjmaybankmylovee @mbella607 @scream4mami @mrsdrewstarkeyy @honeyluvsatj @rafegetinmybed @hypnotizedstarkey

[autumnheartsprice]

"You're my issue!"

price x gn!reader

<mentions of gun going off, bullet wound, crying, kinda angsty? slow burn if you squint? happy romantic ending, no smut>

"God damnit, you fucking muppet! The 'ell were you thinking?!" he mutters, carrying you against his chest as he rushes back to the helicopter, a hand pushing against the bullet wound in your abdomen. He looks down for a brief second and sees your half-closed eyes as you whine in pain as he presses your wound more in attempt to stop the bleeding; "You stay awake, you idiot, don't you care close those fucking eyes!"

The whole way back to the base was hell for the poor medics, Price's yelling only a distraction to the point he had to be separated. Gaz sat with him in the back to keep an eye on him, not wanting his Captain to do anything reckless.

"You put a bullet through me and you'll have one on your back until the moment my team kills you, Graves." Price says, as he holds his hands up in the air, weapons being stripped away from him. You stand next to Price, in the same exact position as him. A knife hidden in your boot is your only resort but his gun pointed at Price would kill you before you even had a chance to reach for it.

The two men bicker at each other, throwing insults and threats in the air as Price stalls, waiting for the rest of the team to get to their location in the building to take him down and rescue you two from the unhelpful situation.

Gunshots go off in the building, appearing closer as the team makes their way through to you, the mistake of arriving quietly ending with a consequence. "Tsk tsk. I told you just a little meeting with just the three of us, seems like you can't follow instructions, Captain."

"Actions have consequences. Thought you'd know this by now." Graves says. Your eyes focus on his finger moving to pull the trigger and you quickly step in front of your Captain before the gun could go off and the bullet hits Price.

You fall to the ground, hand rushing to feel the site as blood doesn't hesitate to gush out. Your ears ring, almost missing the gunshots that go off towards Graves but you're too distracted to look over. Tears gloss over your eyes as you see someone's figure kneeling down in front of you and yelling going on.

Price sits at your side, refusing to take shifts with everybody else because he wanted to be the only one with you. The medics said it shouldn't take long for you to wake up; the sudden shock and blood loss wasn't a shock to cause you to pass out for a while.

He doesn't change out of his clothes or even take off his vest, not wanting to take his eyes off you or leave you alone for a second. He only washed the blood and grime off his hands once they arrived back to base because he knows how much you hate dirty hands.

It takes about 48 minutes and 32 seconds, to be exact, to wake back up. Price continuously looked back between you and the clock to make sure you weren't out for a concerning amount of time.

Your eyes slowly opened, blinking a few times as the bright florescent lights welcomed you. Your hand moves to cover your eyes and shield them from the assaulting brightness, only causing you to whine in pain as the movement makes the wound stretch out a little.

Price's eyes immediately snap towards you from the clock as he hears you waking up and whining in pain. He quickly moves his chair even closer to your bed to try to help you. "Easy, hon. Don't want to go hurting yourself even more." He mumbles, the tone in his voice was a mixture of emotions. Fear, anger, sadness, guilt.

You groan in annoyance, not a big fan of the growing pain in your abdomen. "Don't wanna fuckin' hear it. Don't act like such a reckless idiot next time and you won't be in this sort of pain." Your eyebrows furrow in confusion, unsure of what happened as your memory was still coming back to you.

After he calls in the nurses to come check on you now that you're awake, he sits in silence and just stares at you and your blurry tear-filled eyes as you start to take in everything and remember, his harsh words not helping in the slightest.

After the nurses leave and it's just the two of you again, he moves to sit on the side of your bed, making sure to sit on your unhurt side to avoid the pain that'll come from the large dip in the bed. You wanted him to ignore the tear that rolled down your cheek, but he didn't fail to miss it. His hand comes up to gently tuck your dirtied hair behind your ear with a deep sigh. "Let it out, sweet girl. It's okay, nobody's mad or disappointed with you. It's no good keeping in all these emotions, hm?" he whispers. He leans closer to let your head rest against his chest as sobs start to escape from you. Harsh and scared sobs rack through your body as tears start to stain his shirt. "There ye go, good girl. Let those emotions out."

He continues to whisper sweet nothings into your ear as he lets your emotions run free. It takes a little bit to get you to calm down again but he doesn't mind; it's not his first rodeo to calm you.

Once your breathing is more stable and just occasional shaky breaths and sniffles, he leans back to look at your face. Red and puffy. He takes your chin into his hand and forces you to look up at him despite you trying to avoid it.

"Don't you dare scare me like that again. Ain't no man on this Earth that's good enough for you to risk your life for." he pauses, trying to think of what to say next. "Do y'know how fuckin' scared I was? Holding your unconscious body, not knowing if you were about to die in my arms or not? Did you even think about how stupid it would be to jump in front of a bullet?!" He finishes, voice slightly raising by the last sentence. Your hand moves towards his to force it away from your chin, forcing it to rest in his lap.

Tears start to brim your eyes, but you refuse to let them fall this time. Your head falls back onto the pillow behind it as you stare at the empty space in front of you. "What? All of a sudden you can't handle the consequence of being so stupid out there? Should 'ave you written up for this." He mutters out.

"Really? Go ahead and write me up then, tell 'em to switch me to a different team once they read it since my efforts can't be appreciated around here." He tries to interrupt you to talk, "No. You had your chance to speak. Not even one "Thank you"? You know damn well that shit happens out there that you didn't expect beforehand, you know soldiers end up getting shot all the time. Thought as Captain, you'd know this by now, but obviously not."

He scoffs after you finish and steps closer, looming over you from the side of the bed. "You're not transferring. You're not leaving me." It was your turn to scoff now, irritated by his words. "Really? That's the only part you heard? What the fuck is your issue? Huh? Old age making you lose your hearing?" He rests a knee onto the side of the bed, and grabs your face. "Really? What's my 'issue'? You're my god damn issue! Can't you see that I can't bear you leaving me and being out of my life?"

He stares at your pupil-blown eyes as you try to register what he just said. "You stupid idiot." he mutters under his breath before leaning closer, his lips ghosting above yours. You seal the kiss; you pull him as close as possible without hurting yourself even more and tangle your fingers into his beard.

The kiss feels like it lasts an eternity, a good kind of eternity. Your tongues slip into each other's mouth, exploring the newfound closeness before he pulls away - almost causing a whine to escape your lips but his face stays close to yours. "You're my issue." he repeats. "A good kind of issue?" you ask, silently enjoying the way each other's breath fans against the other's. "Enough to make me gonna start graying soon, how about that?" he teases; you playfully pretend to inspect his beard before replying, "I think I already see a few gray hairs, Cap." You giggle as he leans in again to press kisses against your face.

"Fuck, I love you, idiot."

[mangled-by-disuse]

One of the things I have struggled with since I first got sick (ME/CFS followed by a shittonne of other joint, neurological, hormonal, and musculoskeletal problems, if you don't know) is that, like... I had Done The Things? I did exercise, I ate kale (perhaps excessively I love fresh kale), I had tried mediation (...I mean, I sucked at it, but whatever) and yoga and so on, I tried to have a positive attitude, I generally had a pretty good diet... I wasn't a health freak or anything but I DID do all The Things.

And I still got sick in a way that absolutely destroyed the life I had at the time, and it wasn't even an infection or something else obviously external. I did the Things and my body still gave up on me.

That was around 15-16 years ago, and, like, health-wise I am so much better, but I'm thinking about it again because a similar thing is happening in my career progression. I did the Things for that, too: I pushed through my health issues to get good grades, I studied a STEM field at a well-regarded university, I've been continuously in work since I was 12 years old, I do all my work conscientiously, I humble myself and don't refuse work because I'm "too good for it", and I have always been one of the hardest workers in any job I'm at.

And I'm still unemployed at 31, having been unhappy in a series of jobs where I don't think management particularly liked me either, and with no real career direction? I've never had a performance raise or a promotion, and I've never managed to stay in a job more than the 3.5 years in my last one. And it feels so unfair, because, like. I Did The Things!

POINT BEING

the Things are a lie. There isn't a checklist of Things You Should Do that will ensure that you are happy, or healthy, or make a good career, or attract the person you want to attract. It's important to try, obviously, and some of the Things will make you feel better regardless - but there's not a roadmap to health or to success.

And I don't think people tell you there is, or convince themselves there is, out of malice or stupidity or anything like that. I think it's just really scary to face how much of life is luck and chance and the way existing systems interact with them, and how much we simply have no control over.

We want to believe life is fair, that success or failure are the result (if only in part) of one's own actions and choices. One of the first concepts that toddlers learn is "it's not FAIR!" - because even then, they know it should be.

But it's not fair, maybe especially when it comes to disability and illness. There's no secret trick to get you out of it, or to stop you falling in. There are no Things.

It doesn't mean stop trying, because there will be things you can do to make yourself feel better. But they might not be the things you expect, or the Things you expect. Those are only ever a suggestion, not a roadmap.

"here's what you have to do to stay healthy!" no it's not. and there is no guarantee that anyone will stay healthy for any length of time. it must be so scary believing that you are in control of this and then being proven wrong. I can't remember ever believing this, I can only remember having it used as a bludgeon to punish me for not being healthy. lol

[theroseofmaine]

None of this has any connection to what i usually post but i want to get this out so bad:

Also please forgive me for any grammar mistakes its like 2am and im tired but if i dont get this out i wont sleep

Both Damian Wayne and Terry McGinnis have very similar problems and should have very different endings.

DC saw how successful Batman Bruce Wayne is and can’t grow beyond him. Everything is Batman centric and its a bit too much. Not saying in any way shape or form that they should just throw him in the trash but they need to let the man rest at this point.

Damian is biologically the heir to both the LOA and Batman’s legacy, and he was always only had that perspective, he never really had the chance to choose for himself what he wants.

I love how he is Bruce’s bio kid and thats why he shouldn’t be Batman. He needs to choose for himself, be his own person. I really really hope they continue with the approach of him helping people by helping out in hospitals and possibly becoming a doctor instead of being a Bat, because that way hes being authentic to himself yet still following Batmans legacy (of helping Gotham and its people) but being what Bruce couldn’t: a doctor, a healer, someone that saw the path of violence and chose to leave.

The only real reason for him to become Batman? Being Bruces bio kid. That man’s whole life he was taken kids that apparently have no place in the world and even tho through the most fucked up way possible, given them a place, a reason to be good, and thats why Damian shouldnt be Batman. Because that way hes not being throw into a position he only wants because they told him thats what he should want, but finding his own place through Bruce.

Terry had not only a really interesting backstory, making parallels with the OG Batman (the loss of family, the need for justice, the love for Gotham) but also a great story: he was “just a guy” who wanted to do good but also prove to himself that he has changed and that he is good. He became Batman by himself, stealing the suit from the Batcave and choosing that thats what he wanted. And it should have stayed like that, because honestly, Batman is supposed to be just a guy that decided to take matters into his own hands bc someone should (it didn’t happen bc of his money dont even start!! absolute batman is a thing).

I feel like that by making Terry a somewhat Bruce clone in my opinion takes that away from him. Is he Batman because he has Bruce’s DNA or because he actually deserves it and made it his place? If he didn’t had Bruces DNA and still had gone through all of that, would be still be Batman? More then once Bruce told Terry to leave, and he stayed because thats what he needs, thats what Gotham needs. He should have no connection to Bruce, and because of that he should be Batman.

I love the possibility of Cassandra becoming Batman, but i really feel that Batman should start by being Batman. Before all the trauma being just a regular dude living a regular life, having deep connections with Gotham because thats where they grew up and everyone they love is in, and then after the trauma developing a strong moral compass and sense of justice.

In conclusion: make Damian a doctor or give him his own separate path in the vigilante world and make Terry just a guy again PLEASEEE really sorry this is really long and probably a bit redundant/confusing but it was a ramble i needed

[eletvdna]

Seduce And Destroy

Summary: elena and her little friend group have no idea that the new student in her class might be an another old ass vampire, but, news flash, she is.

You had been sitting in the principals office since morning, hearing him talk about how you should behave and act in school, the rules, the dresscode and whatnot.

You rolled your eyes for the ninth time already, straightening up and getting ready to leave as he hands you your schedule.

"Thanks sir, but next time, talk less to not be a bore," you gave him a tight lipped smile and walked out the door.

But, instead of scolding you or running after you for talking to him that way, he nodded and got back to his work.

You roamed the hallways, not really looking where you were going, since you were looking down at the schedule in your hands.

As you were about to turn a corner somebody pushed you, laughing as you fell to the floor.

"Yo, dumbo, look where you're going!" Chad laughed, you heard someone call his name in the crowd.

"Yeah, sorry, it's totally my fault," you chukled, looking up at him, extending your hand, "give me a hand?"

"What?" He looked around, as if checking if you were kidding him.

"I said, give me a hand."

"Yeah, sure, here," he extended his hand, helping you get up.

"Good, now you see that guy?" You pointed towards one of the buff guys in the hallway, before looking chad in the eyes, "start a fight with him and don't back down till you're unconscious."

He nodded before walking away.

"What are y'all looking at?" You said to students that were standing around you, murmuring about your and chad's interaction.

"Everyone, this is the new student, miss y/n y/l/n." You waved to the class in front of you, smiling brightly.

"Nice to meet you everyone, my name is y/n."

"Yeah, we already heard that!" Some guy in the back shouted, making half of the class laugh.

"Miss y/l/n, you can sit over there, next to miss gilbert," alaric your history teacher said, pointing towards the girl who raised her hand as a wave.

"Hi, I'm elena." She said as you plopped down in your seat, "don't mind people here, they tend to be...mean."

"It's nothing, " you smiled, turning towards the front of the class.

But, still, you felt two pairs of eyes burn a hole in the side of your head.

You were standing in front of your locker, putting your books in when you felt a slight tap on your shoulder.

"Hey, y/n, i was wondering if you wanted to hang out with me and my friends after school?" Elena smiled up at you.

"What for?" You looked at her confused.

"You know, to get to know each other," she said almost desperate as you nodded, making her smile, "I'll send you the location!"

You gave her a thumbs up, before she dissapeared behind the corner.

You pulled out your phone,

Katherine:

See, i told you, she looks exactly like me.

Me:

No, she doesn't, she's prettier.

You shut off your phone, sliding it into the pocket of your jeans.

You looked up at the mansion in front of you, "I think I'm here..?"

"Great, I'll open the door for you right now," elena hung up, and a few seconds after, door opened, revealing her, "come in!"

"This is your house? It's massive."

"No, my boyfriends and his brothers," she giggled, taking you into the living room, where five other people were present.

"I thought it would just be caroline and bonnie? If i remember their names correctly." At your voice all five of them turned towards you, but only two of those people caught your eyes, "salvatores."

"How do you know their last name?" The blond asked from her position on the couch, looking confused.

"What? What last name?" Bonnie and elena looked confused, but damon and stefan were staring at you warily, well atleast stefan was, while damon looked like he wanted to kill you right then and there.

"Y/n," stefan said out loud, sighing as he looked to the side to damon, "what are you doing here?"

"Wait, you two know each other?" Elena asked, but no one answered.

"Aren't you one of katherine's little dogs?" Damon smirked.

"Aren't you the brother she never loved?" You bit back, as you heard a few gasps around the room.

Damon sped to you, pining you against the wall with his hand on your neck.

"Okay, what is going on?!" Bonnie snapped, looking over to us warily.

Again, no one answered.

"My guy, you should know that I'm six hundred years older than you, which means im much stronger than you are," this time you smirked, getting a hold of Damon's arm before twisting it hearing a crack, and throwing him across the room into a shelf.

"Will anybody tell us what's going on?!" Caroline yelled, looking over to you and stefan since damon was still lying on the floor where you threw him.

"It's a long story," caroline glared at me, making me roll my eyes, "but, to sum it up, Katherine and i know each other, stefan and i know each other, and that thing that i just threw, also know each other, how? We used to be friends way back when these two idiots were enamored by katherine, and after that too, before they turned their humanities off, and decided to just eat every living thing on this planet, that's when i decided the smartest desicion was to just leave them be, they were weighing me down anyway."

"Bitch," damon groaned, getting up and sitting down on the couch.

"Are you saying that as 'you're a bitch' or a 'my body hurts like a bitch' choose the answer wisely, or it might have consequences."

"Fuck you."

"Bet you're fantasizing about it," you smiled, looking at elena, "oh, sorry, i have to go, I'm late for work."

"W-work?"

"Yeah, i wanted to say it at our hang out, but, i started working at the grill, and i believe, matt, you're gonna be late too," you looked at the boy next to caroline, who looked down at his watch, "wanna drive with me?"

"No, don't you dare go near him, let alone even hurt him," caroline sneered, standing in front of matt in a protective manner.

"Oh, don't worry, i won't, after all, i was warned by klaus himself, if i hurt you or anyone dear to you, he'll rip my heart out, and we don't want that now, do we?"

"You know klaus too?" She looked at me in disbelief.

"Caroline, love, you're not the only one that guys chase after now, are you?" You smirked walking out the door, and towards your car, the smirk widening when you saw matt jogging up to you.

A/n: first time ever writing, don't judge too hard, like comment, reblog, pls! Tell me if y'all want part two!

[lonesilverw0lf]

The always smiling, closed eyed, rich, fashion conscious, cheerful, pampering, remembers everyone’s birthday, has everything but the kitchen sink in her purse, presence literally lightens up a room, wide thighs and big boobied Mom Friend is the Heroes Party financial manager. She is so good at keeping a budget, finding great deals, haggling, the whole nine, and still finds the funds to give everyone gifts that it’s scary. She has been singlehandedly keeping the whole party fed, clothed, supplied, and everything. Even the nerdy number crunchers can’t figure it out. She currently in a seedy part of a city, but why? She is checking in on a black market dealer and informant in a small back room. She was just about ready to leave when the Informant tipped her off that he has information regarding MC.

Informant: Heh, little missy wants to know about her wayward friend hm? Well, I’m afraid this is going to cost you a bit extra. That is outside of what we agreed on previously after all.

Mom Friend: Oh dear, you see I think there’s been a misunderstanding. You see I am willing to pay you for information about most things, even work some shady dealings with others here and there, but if it’s in regards to MC then you will give it to us pro bono.

Informant: Hahahaha! You don’t have any power here to make such demands!

Mom Friend: Ohohohoho, it’s in your best interest to tell me what I want to know. I’m not in the mood for bartering right now.

Informant: Someone from the so called Heroes Party obviously hasn’t taught you that things don’t work like that around here. Nor that you have any kind of protection here either. Let’s see if some time with Boris will straighten you out, eh?

Mom Friend, looks over to the large man eyeing her: Oh I’m sorry dear, but you’re not my type!

Informant: Hahahaha! You don’t understand your position here missy! This room is soundproof, there’s nobody that will hear you! That door is the only way in or out and it’s locked!

Mom Friend, sighing unperturbed as Boris stalks over to her: Oh dear, it looks like we’re going to do this the hard way.

In an instant Boris in on the ground writhing in pain.

Mom Friend: Oh don’t worry Mr Informant, I’ll get to you in just a moment. In the meantime, you can decide which of your fingers you want broken last.

Informant, uncomprehending what just happened: Y-y-y-you can’t do anything to me! I have protection from the King of Beggars!

Mom Friend: Oh, is that so? You really think your ‘King’ would protect someone who is stealing from him? Someone who is skimming a little extra gold, booze, women, off the top? Someone who’s slicing his shipments to him? Someone who is trying to build up their own little ‘kingdom’ within his own kingdom in a plot to eventually overthrow him in oh 2 years? Someone who drinks with the corrupt government officials and dreaming about how you’re going to dump his body into the moat with a bag of lead coins shoved down his throat? Not that you would allow those officials to stay long anyway, only a few months or so. That is if everything went smoothly for you. Besides, it’s not like you’re going to give him his cut of your dealings with me. Our meetings are ‘off the table’ in your words, and I know you also meant to your ‘King’.

Informant: What?! How did you-?!

Mom Friend, casually dislocating limbs on Boris while he screams: If anything, I think he’ll thank me. I’m sure he’ll appreciate knowing where those Antwon originals ‘disappeared’ to. He’d be one less rodent stealing from his table, and one less knife pointing at his back too. Sure he’ll lose an informant, but it’s not like you’re a very high ranking one though. There’s no shortage of criminals who’re envious of your position, they’d jump at the chance to prove to your ‘King’ they have what it takes to replace you and then some. And without the treasonous thoughts too! At least for a while. Even if he doesn’t thank me, you’re going to be feeling the full extent of my ‘administrations’ for a very, very, very~ long time. I am nothing if not thorough!~

Informant, sweating: Ha! You can’t frighten me with-

Mom Friend: You know I had a rebellious phase when I was twelve. I wanted to read those smutty Count Dracula stories because my parents told me not to, but I accidentally found myself reading about Vlad Dracul III of Romania. He was reportedly the inspiration of Bram Stokers original Count Dracula, but I found his other moniker of Vlad the Impaler far more interesting. That led me down a historical rabbit hole of our worlds history’s darker side. Brazen Bulls, Interrogation Chairs, Iron Maidens, the Racks, oh mankind can be… inventive. Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Or that certain Chinese pressure points discovered to cause unimaginable pain when triggered? How many volts of lightning that can travel through a body before being permanently damaged? How long someone can laugh unstopped before dying? How long someone can survive in the extreme temperatures? How little food and water is needed to keep someone just barely alive? I’ve had some fascinating discoveries for someone so young on the dark web. While I may be limited to what I have on hand, I’m sure I’ll manage.

Informant, now cowering: Why are you doing this?

Mom friend: Because I’m what we call a ‘mom friend’. Although I would prefer to be called big sis, ‘momma’ makes me sound so old but that’s not important. What is important is that you give me the information about MC, because we are missing our friend and want him back. Back home our towns mascot is the grey wolf. Oh I know they’re a bit of a pest in your world but back home they’re creatures of beauty. They’re strong, capable, adaptable, intelligent, and above all loyal.

We are a team. A family. We take care of each other, protect one another, will do crazy things for each other. We are going to save this world, and we are all going to go home. Together. We are going to bring MC with us. You are going to tell me everything you know about MC.

Mom Friend, now a looming presence who hasn’t broken her smile once: Now then, care to make a deal? Or are we going to discover what happens when Mommy turns into Momma Bear?

MC: walks through the front door of the building being used as a front and gets one whiff of Mom Friends perfume

The standard 'entire class gets isekai'd to a fantasy world and the outcast MC is basically discarded' anime setting, where the MC, now assumed dead, decides to instead help the class of Heroes in the shadows, making sure they live up to what the people need.

However, the entire class knows that he's alive and are hellbent on dragging that son of a bitch back into the spotlight and to give him the recognition he deserves.

(And maybe because he was basically the entire class's Little Guy™.)

[plaidos]

It's really refreshing to see someone criticize transandrobro talking points without simultaneously implying that they only exist because transmascs are intrinsically prone to being stupid or bad. It seems like people are very black and white about it often, but you're probably one of the most patient about it while still saying "here's why this can be harmful"

I've been very, very skittish for a long time about being happy about being transmasc because I was scared it would make me more dangerous to my transfem friends. I've been afraid that the only two paths were suppressing my identity in order to be safer for the girls I care about, or getting poisoned into a TMRA if I ever tried to hang out with other transmascs (I very often avoid them and refuse to enter transmasc spaces)

to be fair, all those girls who are being dismissive have probably put up with having to repeat these arguments hundreds of times — i know i have. like, after a certain time i imagine many girls stop believing the guys they’re arguing with are doing so in good faith. i’m not surprised tbh

i promise that when transfems complain about transmascs, it’s literally just the same as when cis women complain about cis men. try not to take it personally, and instead, try and see it as an oppressed group of people who is socially positioned below you getting frustrated about that social position & how unlikely anybody with a social position above them is to listen to us no matter how kind & gentle we are.

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Hello! I hope you’re doing well :)

Could I have cuddling HCs with candy, night terrors and LJ? Ty in advance!

I love writing fluff like this, I hope you enjoy <3 Me casually making new LJ lore while writing this :p

Terrors:

It's rough in the beginning, I'm gonna be honest. You are this man's first for everything because when he was living on his own, his own person, his own ruler, he did not care about relationships at all, so he doesn't really understand anything except the barebones basics. The first time you ask him if it'll be okay to cuddle, he tries to think back on how Candy cuddles you (which he can barely remember because he feels embarrassed just watching you guys from inside Candy's mind), and he says that if that's what you wish, you may cuddle him. You've come very far in your relationship with Candy and Terrors at this point, so you naively assume this should go easily, but your assumptions are soon proven wrong. Terrors lays down first, on his back stiff as a board, and waits for you to join him, and you do, curling into his side, but he never moves. He stays that way for a while, to your amusement, and it takes many, many snuggle sessions for him to loosen up. Once he does, gradually wrapping an arm around you, and then two, and then holding you close to him, cuddles with Terrors become much clingier. They're firm but incredibly warm and protective. He prefers to keep you flush and tight against his chest, his arms trapping you there securely, only letting you go when you ask. He always feels he still might be doing something wrong, so he's still a little tense, but he can't deny that feeling your warmth so softly against him is a treasure he wished he'd been indulging in with you for far longer, and these days he's more than willing to cuddle you if you ever ask for it. He gets to the point that he wants to ask you himself, but he's too shy, so he tends to hover around you in a way you come to learn means he wants to snuggle you immediately.

Candy:

Candy's cuddles are nothing to sneeze at. This man is clingy in the best ways, incredibly warm, and all-encompassing as a lover, so of course he gives some of the best cuddles you'll ever indulge in, and he's pretty much always in the mood to cuddle up to you, so you're never starved for his touch. While he's quite brazen and forceful as a person, he's nearly the opposite when you first start cuddling with him at the start of your relationship until he learns what you like. He's all soft smiles and gentle words, wanting to go at your pace to not overwhelm you with his large body and stronger touches. He lets you worm your way into his arms however you'd like to, and once you do the same thing enough times, he learns what you enjoy, and always settles into the right position, readily scooping you into his arms and nuzzling into you to his heart's content. I think Candy prefers to pretty much absorb you into his body with his preferred cuddles. He likes you snug against his chest, his arms around you, your legs intertwined, his torso covering yours as he leans over you so he can cover you with his body. It makes him happy to be able to cover you and hold you so closely, so confined in his body that you've got no choice but to be completely smooshed against him. The type of partner to say they want you inside of their body when you're cuddling so you can just become one being. He tends to surprise you with snuggles when you've been together longer, as he definitely recharges from your touch and just wants to have contact with you all the time, and he's so warm and soft that you can't help but want to constantly be snuggling him yourself, so you tend to never refuse him. Candy is always happiest when he has you wrapped up in his arms.

LJ:

Another resident snuggle bug like Candy, Jack is always down for snuggles, and he's not shy about asking for them either. He's the type to just lift you up and take you away from whatever you were previously doing so he can just carry you off to bed and cuddle you whenever he gets particularly lonely. The only thing that might seem like a drawback about Jack I would say is that due to his mechanical nature, he doesn't have body warmth, so he tends to start off cold in your cuddles. During the summer it's awesome because he can cool you off from the heat outside, but not as pleasant at times like right now, during the colder winter months. However, as the executive owner of this blog and canon, I've come up with a situation; I think since he was originally made for children, that he probably has an internal heater (like a heated blanket situation) to warm up and be more pleasant to be in contact with. Meaning, that Jack can heat up his body to whatever temperature you want, which I suppose actually gives him a lead over others if he has time to heat up! So, when it's really cold, he starts heating himself up in advance, so when you get home he's already warm and ready to go, ridding you of any biting cold you had outside. His preferred cuddles I often write him with are you laying on top of him, his arms wrapped snug around you, your face snuggling into his neck. He likes feeling the weight of your body on top of him, as it makes him feel content and loved, knowing he's got you right here, safe and sound in his arms. I haven't mentioned it in a while, but Jack is able to make a calming purring sound when he's happy, and you can bet your butt he's constantly making that noise when you cuddle, calming both of you down and relaxing you.

[squiddviscous]

Rereading the manga at the moment and there's two things that I've noticed about Maxwell (that do not make him less of a villain, just an even more tragic one).

First, not only does he seem to have been quite publicly losing the plot for so long that no one in their right mind could have seen fit to just hand him an army and a green light to do whatever the fuck he thought best without expecting something to go as it did, but also some of the early scenes with him discussing plans with Anderson and the Pope seem pretty much like the Vatican, if not exactly planned for him to attack England, weren’t too bothered if he did.

Which makes his very young appointment as Iscariot leader make a bit more sense. He’s shown as being bright, but by no means brilliant, and there are clearly others just as ruthless but a bit more level-headed than him who could have done the job (Makube is older than him). So my new headcanon is that he was probably groomed for the position from very early on, so that Iscariot could be lead by someone who was prepared to do something others wouldn’t (and that they couldn’t dirty their own hands by asking him to do), but was so isolated from anyone who cared about him, and from such ‘sinful’ origins that if and when he did do those things that they couldn’t directly order him to, they could easily wash their hands of him and come across blameless themselves.

Second, for being such a fanatic, he doesn’t actually seem particularly religious. This is me headcanoning again, but if he does actually believe in a God, then he hates him (like he hate everything else, himself and Anderson included). When he dies, he talks about having always been alone, which is at odds with the idea of God being with or loving him, that you’d expect to be something he feels if he truly does believe. So rather than being a genuine fanatic, it seems more like he’s just utterly, utterly misanthropic and disappointed in God (and thinks somehow he could do a better job).

I also get this impression from the way he acts earlier in the manga – gleefully pointing out the Vatican’s hypocrisy to Integra like some kind of teenage edgelord and having Heinkel kill that other bishop for defending them aiding Millenium. He really does just feel contempt for absolutely everything (self included).

Yknow. I think that Enrico Maxwell doesn't get enough attention in the hellsing Fandom, because he's one of the most fascinating tragedies in hellsing.

He's introduced as an arrogant prick with clear malice for Integra, but there's so much to that interaction that can be read into.

Because you have such minimal backstory that tells the whole story. As a child, Maxwell asks Anderson if he was no longer wanted because he was a bastard; Maxwell is a child of infidelity, and it's very clear that he was reminded of that consistently, during his formation years.

Mind you, he's around 10-12 when he's given up, which means he spent all of his formative years in an abusive home, implied to be neglectful and verbally abusive. He clearly blames himself for the abuse, considering how determined he is to "make his parents regret giving him up". This leaves room for so much interpretation, and it seems that he believed wholeheartedly that he was the problem, he wasn't enough, he wasn't good enough... as a child.

He's shown to have an almost immediate mood swing when meeting Integra. From an attempt to be amicable to immediate hostility when her reaction isn't mirroring his, so he goes to mirror the hostility that he personally sees. He is incredibly reactive as an adult, when as a child he was quite apathetic in most cases, or downright stubborn and resentful. Really think about his reactions to things, with such immediate mood changes, swinging wildly from amicable to cruelty right back to amicable; he's responding to what he sees.

There really is so much to analyze with him because there's so much substance within the little interactions he has. Because he's gone from an adult child to a childish adult and that is something that I'm so fascinated with because THERE'S SO MUCH MORE TO HIM THAN IS GIVEN CREDIT FOR

[cosyvelvetorchid]

For One Night Only.. Maybe chapter 4 is up!

Read on Ao3 or below

Enjoy!

🩶

Rating: G (for this chapter)

W/C: 3,852

Summary:

It's New Years eve and after talking with Maddie and Eddie Buck realises his feelings.

**********

“Uncle Buck!” Jee yelled excitedly, hurtling towards Buck the second he walked through the door. He opened his arms wide for her to jump into and picked her up. 

“My favourite girl! Did you have a good Christmas with Grandma and Grampa?” She gave a big nod in response. “Well that’s good to hear. Did Santa bring you lots of nice things?” 

“A pony!” 

“A pony?! I don’t think a point would fit in your room.” 

“Not a real pony, silly.” She giggled. She wiggled in his arms to get down and he put her back on the ground. She immediately ran towards her room. 

“Welcome back.” He greeted Maddie with a hug. 

“Thanks. Coffee?”

“Uh, sure.” He followed her into the kitchen. “So, come on, tell me the truth now that they can’t hear you on the phone—how was it?” 

“Surprisingly, calm.” 

“Really?” 

“Uh-huh. I mean they of course criticised Jee’s bedtime, what we fed her for breakfast, oh and my choice of Christmas sweater-“ she rolled her eyes. “But, all in all they were actually pretty well behaved.” 

“Did they, uh.. did they say anything about me?” He asked, expecting to hear the usual criticism. 

“Actually mom said she misses you.” Buck raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, I know it surprised me too.”

“She misses me.” He said not quite believing it. 

“Yep.”

“Wow.” They looked at each both laughed at the absurdity of their mother actually admitting how she felt. 

“How were they with Chim?” 

“Dad actually started calling him Chimney, if you can believe that.”

“You’re kidding?”

“Nope.” Maddie shook her head “When they talked about you they called you Buck, too.”

“Took them long enough.” He scoffed. 

“I missed you there.” She said after a moment. 

“I know.” He looked at her. “I-I know they’re getting better and I’m glad, but.. I’m not ready to act all happy families with them yet.” 

“I understand.” She smiled. “How was Christmas at Tommy’s? I’m surprised you didn’t spend it with Bobby and Athena to be honest.”

“I was going to but Tommy was going to be alone most of the day. I get the feeling he doesn’t have anybody other than his aunt.”

“Has he not mentioned any friends?” 

Buck shook his head. “Not really. He talks about the people he works with, and he likes them, but they’re not close—not like the 118 are anyway.” 

“You’re always trying to save people.” She said. She wasn’t being accusatory, just stating a fact. 

“He doesn’t need saving, Maddie—I just hated the idea of him being on his own for Christmas. It’s the time you’re supposed to spend with people you care about.” He explained. “But it was nice. I cooked us dinner and we spent the day watching movies. Pretty chill.” 

Buck had kept his word and cooked them both a roast turkey with all the trimmings. Tommy had stubbornly refused to let him do all of the work so Buck had delegated the vegetable preparation to him. 

They’d stood side by side in Tommy’s kitchen in their respective aprons, singing along to Christmas music as they worked. Buck was surprised to find out that Tommy had a beautiful singing voice and had tried to convince him to come along to one of Chim’s karaoke nights. Tommy steadfastly refused but Buck hadn’t given up and was determined to convince him eventually. 

Tommy was the most relaxed Buck had seen him since they’d met. They’d laughed and joked, ate good food and drank good wine, and by the time Clara had arrived in the early evening they were a little tipsy. 

But they were aware enough to switch into boyfriend mode as soon as she walked in the door. 

Tommy moved from his previous position at the end of the sofa to the middle so he was closer to Buck. Their legs were against each others and Tommys arm was along the back of the sofa behind Bucks head. 

Every so often his arm would slip down across Bucks shoulder and each time Buck relaxed into him. Slowly bucks eyes got heavier and he fell asleep with his head on Tommys shoulder. 

Tommy gently woke him up some time later and ushered him upstairs to his bedroom. 

“You don’t have to stay here.” He’d said. “But with my aunt in the guest room, you’d either have to go home or sleep on the sofa.”

“That might look suspicious.” Buck had said. 

Tommy then changed in to pyjama pants and a T-shirt and Buck had opted to stay in the sweats he was wearing and they got into his bed. Buck laid on his back and Tommy on his side facing away from Buck. 

It was silent for a while until Tommy spoke. He reached behind himself until he found Bucks hand and held it gently. 

“Thank you, Evan.” He had whispered in the dark; his voice thick with sleepiness. 

“For what?”

“Best Christmas I’ve ever had.” He lightly squeezed Bucks hand before sleep quickly took over his consciousness and his hand loosened but didn’t fall out of Bucks. 

Buck had laid still; his hand still holding Tommy’s, listening to his soft breathing. It was pitch dark in the room so Buck hadn’t been able to see what Tommy looked like in his sleeping state but he couldn’t help picturing his face soft and relaxed. He sighed deeply trying to calm the flutter in his stomach at the image.

He thought about why this could be Tommys best Christmas. All they did was eat and drink and hang out—it wasn’t exactly a raging party. He thought about his own sad Christmas’s as a child and wondered if Tommy had experienced something similar. He knew that Tommy had loved with Clara for a while and that his dad was homophobic, but beyond that Buck knew nothing about Tommy’s childhood. 

Eventually he had drifted off into sleep still holding Tommys hand. 

“Uncle Buck, look!” 

Buck turned to see Jee dragging a giant stuffed pink pony, bigger than herself, across the floor. 

“Woah!” He cried out. “Santa really did he you a pony, huh?”

“You should have seen Chim carrying that through the airport.” Maddie laughed. 

“It’s probably bigger than him!” Buck joked. 

“Hey.” Maddie lightly chastised with a soft whack to his arm. 

Buck sat down on the floor and laid against the giant pink fluffy horse. Jee immediately jumped on top of him causing to let out an “oomf!”. She giggled as he bounced her up and down on his legs.

“Stop me if I’m being too intrusive but-“

“Since when has stopping you ever actually stopped you?” Buck said back to her. 

Maddie ignored his response. “Have you met someone?” 

Buck stilled from bouncing Jee. “What? No. What- w-why would you ask that?” 

“Just.. I don’t know, these last couple of months you’ve been- you’ve seemed more.. at ease. Little bit more settled, maybe.” 

She wasn’t wrong. He had been feeling like his life was becoming some more of what he wanted it to be. He loved his job—even on the bad days, he had his 118 family, Maddie and his niece whom he adored. His culinary skills had never been better thanks to Bobby and now he had Tommy in his life. 

This amazing firefighter pilot that he still couldn’t believe was his friend. 

Being around Tommy was easy. He never felt like he was in the way when he was around him; that his presence was wanted. They shared the same witty banter and playful insults, could read each others body language and when they had to pretend to be dating, they fell into it with such ease that there were moments when Buck had to remind himself that Tommy wasn’t actually his boyfriend. 

Buck loved Eddie. He loved Bobby and Hen and Chim and Karen and Athena. And they loved him, he knew that, he felt that. But they all had the tendency sometimes to treat him like a child. Or an over excited Labrador that needed a whack on the nose occasionally. 

Tommy never did that. Tommy let him be Evan. Tommy gave him a space to show every part of himself without fear of judgment or condescension. He accepted Evan flaws and all. 

For the first time in his life Buck was beginning to feel like Evan was enough. 

“I guess I am.” 

“What’s changed?” She asked. 

“I’ve just been feeling more myself self lately.” 

“Does this have anything to do with Tommy?” She had a knowing look that Buck wasn’t sure was about. 

“Uh, yeah. Kind of. We-we’ve become really good friends. I feel like.. like he really sees me, ya know?” 

Maddie looked at him for a beat and tilted her head. “Is that all?” 

“Wha-what else is there?” He asked. 

“I just- Look, you know I love you, right?”

“Yeah. I love you too, Maddie. And I love you the most!” He tickled Jee still sat in his lap on the floor.��

“And you know that no matter what I will always love you. And always accept you. Whoever you are.” She raised her eyebrows as though they somehow sent a message that Buck wasn’t getting. 

“Thank you..?” He said confused. 

“I’m just saying that you will always be my brother and however you feel about.. certain things.. I will always support you. No matter what. Don’t ever forget that.” 

“Are you talking about Tommy and I?” He asked and she nodded. “We’re just friends.” He told her. 

“Right, but if you were more than that, that would okay.” 

“A-actually there’s.. there’s something I should tell you.” 

“Oh really?” She said, smiling. 

“It’s not what you think.” He said. “Okay, it’s kind of what you think but not-“ He stopped himself and took a breath. “He and are in a kind of fake relationship.”

“Fake?” 

“We’re pretending to be in one so his aunt stops trying to set him up with men.” He explained.

“Buck.” She said in that admonishing tone. 

“It’s fine, okay. I don’t mind. And-and Clara is actually really cool for an old lady.” 

“So, you’re pretending to be together?” 

“Yes.”

“Okay. How does that work? What do you.. do?” She raised a curious eyebrow. 

“Nothing like that.” He waved his hand. “We just- we act like we normally do as friends, but also hold hands sometimes, put an arm around each other, sometimes kiss each other-“ Maddie's eyes opened wider “on the cheek.”

“Right.” She said looking skeptical. “Well, whatever he is to you, you do seem happier.” She smiled softly. 

“I am.”

*****

Somehow the 118 A shift had managed to also New Year’s Eve off this year and Bobby and Athena were going to hosting a party for everyone. Eddie and was flying back to attend and Tommy and Buck were driving to pick them up. 

“What’s your New Year’s resolution?” Buck asked as they drove along the freeway. 

“Do I look like the kind of guy that makes New Year’s resolutions?”

“No, but you don’t look like a guy who has the voice of an angel either.” 

Tommy scoffed. “Evan, I am not doing karaoke no matter how much you bug me about it.”

“I didn’t say anything!” He protested. 

“Uh-huh.” 

Buck laughed. “Seriously, you don’t believe in resolutions?” 

“I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that you do?”

“I mean.. yeah. I feel like the new year is like a fresh start, ya know? A chance to look at where your life is and who you are and maybe chance some things.” 

“You don’t need a new year to do that—you can change any time you want.” Tommy countered. 

“I guess. But there’s something about a brand new year that feels good. It’s stupid I know.” 

“Hey, it’s not stupid. If it’s something you like to do then that’s okay. Just because it’s not my thing doesn’t mean it can’t be yours. Tell me—what are your New Year’s resolutions?”

Buck turned in the passenger seat to face Tommy a little. “I definitely want to be more disciplined in the gym.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s hard not to want to be when one of your best friends is built like a tank.” He reached out and gently squeezed Tommys upper arm. 

Did Tommy hear that right? Evan just referred to him as one of his best friends?

“Best friend?” He questioned. 

“Well, yeah.” He said earnestly.

Tommy felt mixed emotions at that. A part of him felt privileged that someone like Evan would see him that way. Truthfully—and perhaps pathetically—he’d never had a best friend before. It was entirely his own doing—he’d never let anybody get close enough to him to build that kind of bond with someone. But Evan was just so easy to know it was no wonder he burrowed himself into Tommys life so easily. 

But, there was a large part of him that felt disappointed. And sad. He knew that Evan was straight, but that didn’t stop Tommy from developing.. something towards him. But despite knowing Buck was straight there was that little delusional side of his brain that hoped that maybe he wasn’t entirely. 

It didn’t help that on numerous occasions he’d wondered if Evan was flirting with him. The way he looked at Tommy or playfully insulted him had him thinking that, although it was an incredibly small chance, maybe it meant something. 

But hearing Evan referring to him as a best friend put an end to those hopes. It wasn't like Evan was a consolation prize--he was a wonderful man to know. But it still stung to have it confirmed that he saw Tommy as nothing more than a friend. 

“Good.” He said smiling at his passenger. There was no doubt his hopes had been dashed, but he really was still grateful to have met Evan and have him in his life. 

Buck regretted calling Tommy one of his best friends as soon as the words came from his mouth. He wasn’t lying—he really did see Tommy as one of his best friends. But what he felt for Tommy was more than that. 

When they weren’t together he thought him constantly; always wondering what he was doing and counting down the hours or days until they saw each other next. He’d turn his head on the street when somebody walked past wearing the same cologne. Every time his phone would ping his heart would light up hoping it was a text from him. 

And there had been numerous times when they were alone he’d honestly thought Tommy was flirting with him. And every time he’d feel his stomach flutter and his skin flush with heat. As much as their romantic relationship was fake, he couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like if it were real. 

But Tommy seemed happy with the best friend designation, and Bucks hope of Tommy liking him were slashed. 

~

“Welcome back.” Buck greeted Eddie with a hug. 

“I didn’t realise you were bringing your boyfriend.” Eddie said hugging Tommy. 

“You told him?” Tommy asked Buck, surprised.

“I had to! If Clara came over and saw the two of you rolling around in your garage she might say something about me.” 

“There’s no rolling, Evan—it’s called sparing.”

“Thank you!” Eddie added. 

Buck rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

“If you want I can spar with you sometime. I might even go easy on you.” Tommy said playfully nudging Buck with his elbow. 

“Hey, I don’t need you to go easy on me!” Buck protested. “I reckon I could take you.”

“Oh really?” 

“Is this what you guys are like around Clara?” Eddie asked. 

“What are you talking about?” Asked Buck. 

Eddie looked at them for a second before shaking his head. “Nothing. What time is Bobbys party?”

“Uh, 8 o’clock.” 

“Do we have to bring anything?” Eddie asked. 

“I’m bringing some beer.” Tommy answered. 

“And I’ve made a large batch of brownies.” Added Buck. 

“Are they the chocolate fudge ones?” Tommy asked. 

Buck nodded. “Yup.” 

“Remind me to hide a couple of those before everybody eats them.” 

“No need—there’s an extra batch in my fridge for you.” 

Tommy smiled warmly at the thoughtful gesture as Bucks phone pinged in his pocket. 

“It’s Bobby—he wants us to pick up a few things for him for the party.” 

“Alright. We can stop on the way back to Eddie’s.” Tommy suggested. 

~

The three of them walked into the grocery store and Tommy went off to pick up the wine he said he’d bring leaving Eddie and Buck to get the things Bobby needed. 

“So.” Eddie began as they walked along the meet aisle. “You and Tommy.”

“What about us?” Eddie simply raised his eyebrows at him. “What?” Buck repeated. 

“You said this relationship you were in was fake.” 

“It is.” 

“And the flirting?”

“What flirting?” Buck asked throwing a few packs of pork chops into the basket. 

“At the airport.” Eddie reminded him.

“What? That-that wasn’t flirting.” 

“Buck. I’ve seen you flirt. On the job and off—that was textbook flirtatious Buck.” 

Buck rolled his eyes. “Shut up. It was not.” 

It wasn’t intended to be at least. Was it possible to flirt without realising it? Historically, Buck was great at flirting. He knew how to use his words, his tone, his body language—every move he made was intentional. But that was with women. 

He’d never actively flirted with a man before. He liked Tommy, there was no doubt about that anymore, but Tommy thought of him a friend only. So why would Buck flirt with him?

Eddie knew what Buck looked like when he was having an internal debate and threw him a lifeline. 

“If you say you’re not flirting then you’re not flirting. But for the record, it wouldn’t change a thing between us.” He placed a hand on Bucks shoulder. “Okay?” 

Buck wasn’t ready to talk about his confusing, and clearly unreciprocated feelings yet, but he appreciated Eddie’s sentiment. 

“Thanks.”

“You guys got what you need?” Tommy came up from behind lugging a basket full of wine bottles. 

“Uh, yeah.” Buck replied. “We got everything.”

*****

By 10pm the party was in good spirits. Music was playing—at “an acceptable volume so people can have an actual conversation” as per Athena’s instruction, the dining table, formally covered in food, was half empty and everyone was dotted around the house in various conversations. 

Hen and Karen were in the kitchen with Athena, Chim and Tommy were reminiscing with Bobby about the 118, and Maddie and Eddie were playfully arguing over what music to play. 

Buck was leaning against the fireplace wall watching Tommy. He couldn’t help it. The way his mouth moved when he spoke, the little twitches in his eyebrows when reacting to something Bobby was saying and those beautiful creases around his eyes when he smiled. 

He was mesmerising. 

“Earth to Buck.” Eddie snapped his fingers in front of Bucks face. 

Buck shoved Eddie’s hand away. “What?” 

“Alright.” Eddie said. “Come with me.” 

“Where?

“Outside. Come on.” 

Buck glanced over at Tommy again who caught his eye and smiled before focusing back on what Chim was talking about. Eddie slid the glass door open and closed it again behind them. 

“What’s going on?” Buck asked. 

“You and Tommy.” 

“We’ve had this conversation, Eddie.” Buck moved to open the door again by Eddie stepped in front of him. 

“And this time you’re going to tell me the truth.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“Buck, I can practically see the hearts floating around your head like a damn cartoon every time you look at the guy.” 

“I-“ Buck wanted to argue back that Eddie was wrong but what was the point? He gave in with a sigh, walking over to one of the day beds and sitting down. Eddie followed suit and sat across from him. 

“It doesn’t matter anyway.”

“Why?”

“Because he.. Were friends. He’s made it clear that’s all he sees me as.” He admitted. 

“But you want more?” 

“I dunno, I- We’re.. Yeah. I do.” He sipped from his beer bottle and picked at something imaginary on his jeans. 

He looked at Tommy through the window and sighed. He was grateful to be friends with him and if that’s all he could have of him, he’d gladly take it. But he couldn’t pretend that he wasn’t sad that that’s all he could have of him. 

“I gotta say I didn’t think that this is where your interest would lie.” Eddie said. 

“What, Tommy?”

“No, I mean guys in general.” He clarified.

“I didn’t either. I love women—I’ve always loved women.”

“How long have you been leaning in the other direction?” 

“I haven’t. N-not specifically.” He said. “I mean, sure I’ll check out a hot guys ass but that’s normal.”

Eddie gave him a weird look before it shifted into recognition. “Oh my god!” 

“What?”

“When we were in Texas helping out the 126. There was something about the way you were talking to that guy. What was his name. Uh…”

“TK?”

“TK. Yes. The way you were talking to him. Looking back now you were totally flirting with him.” 

“I was not!” Buck protested. “And didn’t you say earlier that you know when I’m flirting?”

“Yeah, now—I didn’t know then as well as I do now. Now I can spot it a mile away.” He sipped his beer. “Trust me—you were flirting.”

Looking back, Buck did think that TK was good looking. He was exceedingly competent at his job and competency was always something that he found attractive in the women he liked. Between his skills as a firefighter, the love his team had for him and the fact that he was willing to fly into a forest fire to save somebody he loved, Buck had thought that he was jealous of TK. Maybe it was actually a crush. 

“I'm curious--what is it about Tommy?” Eddie asked. 

Buck again looked towards Tommy then back at Eddie. “He’s just so cool, and-and confident. He has a cleft.” He couldn’t help the corner of his mouth rising. “He’s calm to be around and when he makes fun of me it doesn’t make me feel bad. I feel good when I’m around him.” 

“But he doesn’t feel the same about you?” Eddie questioned. 

“No, I don’t think so.” 

“You don’t think so? Has he actually said he only thinks of you as a friend?” 

“I mean.. not technically, but-“

“Have you asked him?” Eddie interrupted. 

“No. And I’m not going to, before you ask.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because the chances of him liking me are slim and-and I’m not going to humiliate myself and ruin our friendship in the process.” He shook his head. “No. Trust me, it’s better that things stay as they are between us. As friends.”

“Look, Buck, I think that you-“

The glass door slid open and Tommy stood with his phone in his hand and a pained expression on his face.

“What’s wrong?” Buck immediately stood up. 

“That was the hospital. It’s Clara.”

“What happened? Is she okay?” 

“She.. she had a heart attack.”

**********

[calliecopper]

Ian Gallagher Being His Own Person, and Why That's Controversial

A meta about Ian's story during his time away from Mickey, and the hate his character receives for it. Inspired by @dazzle02 :)

How many times have you heard somebody say that they skipped season 8 of Shameless because Mickey wasn't in it? How many times have you heard somebody say that season 7 is only good during Mickey's episodes, or that the story is boring without Mickey in it, or that Ian's S6-8 arc was boring without Mickey? How many times have you heard somebody proclaim that Ian wasn't a good partner to Mickey?

Mickey is undeniably THE fan favorite character of the show, and with that comes a tendency for fans to defend him tooth and nail, even when he is in the wrong, and refuse to see any other points of view. Characters who go against Mickey in any way receive a harsh amount of criticism that sometimes is not fully justified. This applies even to Mickey's main connection to the story: Ian.

During season 5 and onward, some fans hold Ian's actions against him very harshly when I feel he deserves a bit more empathy. Of these, there are three main things people criticize his character for during seasons 5, 6, and 7 that I feel are not given proper analysis and thought by fandom.

Disclaimer before we get in because people feel very passionately about these two: Every interpretation of a character is entirely unique to each individual viewer, and these are just my opinions. This is in no way an anti-Mickey post, so as you read, keep in mind that any criticism toward him is not meant to make him out to be a bad character. Don't bite me.

Season Five: The Breakup of All Time

I think a large part of why people get so upset with Ian for the breakup is because of the growth Mickey experienced in seasons 4-5 leading up to it.

Mickey in seasons 1-3 is in extreme denial of being gay, and when he grows feelings for Ian, he lashes out and treats Ian like shit. Seeing Mickey's slow growth starting in season 3 brought interest to his character, and in season 4 with his major growth during his coming out, he becomes very compelling to a viewer. After all the angst that it took to get Mickey to finally open up, there's a natural desire to see that positive growth and relationship development continue. When Ian throws a wrench in that by breaking up with Mickey in season 5, people get upset, and they're going to direct that toward Ian because he is the easiest to blame.

There's the sentiment of, "Mickey came out for Ian, took care of Ian, and supported Ian when he needed him most despite his faults. Why is Ian leaving Mickey in the dust when he now needs him most?"

This is honestly not an unreasonable thing to feel when looking at things from Mickey's perspective.

But, when you take a look at Ian's character, and you really think of his motivations in that moment, his decision to break up is actually very understandable. Ian didn't break up with Mickey because he thinks Mickey is a bad partner or because he doesn't love Mickey enough. He broke up with Mickey because he thought that's what was best FOR Mickey.

I think comparing the breakup to their fight over marriage in season 10 to be an effective way to understand Ian better.

In season 10:

"How do you know you love me? Huh? How do you really know? I'm bipolar, right? I don't know who I am from one day to the next, and I can't guarantee shit. So why do you wanna spend the rest of your life with me?"

- Ian to Mickey, S10E9

Compare this to this conversation during the breakup:

"You used to love me. Now you don't even know who I am. Shit, I don't know who I am half the time... You don't owe me anything."

"I love you."

"The Hell does that even mean?"

- Ian and Mickey, S5E12

I feel that Ian's mindset is pretty similar in these two moments. In season 5, he is still grappling with his diagnosis, and he has no frame of reference of how a healthy life with bipolar can look. Everybody has been comparing him to Monica, and he himself seems to oscillate between thinking he is like her and not like her, so in his mind, he has nothing to offer anymore.

Then, in season 10, in his mind he proved himself right. He tried to get his shit in order, lived happily and found peace with his diagnosis, and then he fucked it up. He had an episode, and he lost everything he fought so hard to have. He has practically ruined his life because he DID what he FEARED he would:

"I hate the meds. You gonna make me take 'em?"

"You get fucking nuts when you don't."

"Are you gonna want to be with me even if I don't?"

- Ian and Mickey, S5E12

That conversation isn't Ian saying he isn't going to take his meds, given how in season six, he IS taking his meds. I interpret his above statement to be a warning to Mickey. Because Monica has tried to get on her meds before, has tried to get better, and has failed many times. IAN has gone off his meds willingly twice now. This is him telling Mickey, straightforward, "I do not like the meds, and there will always be a risk of me deciding not to take them."

And in seasons 8-9, he does exactly that. He goes off his meds, and he destroys everything he built for himself. That's part of the reason why he hesitates to marry Mickey in season 10, and part of the reason he breaks up with Mickey in season 5.

Ian views himself and his disorder to be a burden on the people he loves. He believes that Mickey will be better off without him.

"I don't want you sitting around, worrying, watching me, waiting for me to do my next crazy shit."

- Ian to Mickey, S5E12

Because Mickey HAS been doing that. Ever since he was diagnosed, Mickey has been watching Ian like a hawk, acting like a nurse, which frustrates Ian.

"Fuckin' nurse now?"

[...]

"I'm sick of your whiny, pussy crap. I don't need a fucking caretaker, alright? I need the shit-talking, bitch-slapping piece of Southside trash I fell for. Where is he? The fuck is he, Mickey?"

- Ian to Mickey, S5E10

But, of course, Mickey doesn't see it that way. To Mickey, Ian is anything but a burden he wants to unload.

"It means we take care of each other. [...] It means thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit."

- Mickey to Ian, S5E12.

Mickey would do anything for Ian. He confronted his worst fear by coming out, stayed with Ian even after the infidelity, defended Ian after he kidnapped his son, and tried his best to understand a mental illness he had no prior knowledge about. Yet, Ian still won't commit to him. After everything, he still isn't good enough.

"I'm not saying never!"

"No, you're just saying you don't love me enough now."

- Ian and Mickey, S10E9

And Ian, meanwhile, thinks that HE isn't good enough for MICKEY. He has been diagnosed with a lifelong condition, one that he has seen ruin lives firsthand, something that will be a part of him for the rest of his life, and he doesn't wanna tie Mickey down to that life.

It's all one massive miscommunication.

Finally, I think the part that is the most confusing to fans regarding Ian's mindset during the breakup stems from his moments with Monica in S5E11 and S5E12.

Specifically, the parallels between these two conversations.

"Ian, there's always gonna be people that are gonna try and fix us. And you can never make those people happy. Like it breaks their heart just to look at you."

"Yeah, um, even Mickey now."

"He's your boyfriend, right? [...] I'm sure he means well, but you need to be with people who accept you for who you are. And they're out there. You should never apologize for being you."

- Monica and Ian, S5E11.

Vs.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Too much! Too much is wrong with me. That's the problem, isn't it? Too much is wrong with me, and you can't do anything about that. You can't change it. You can't fix me, 'cause I'm not broken. I don't need to be fixed, okay? I'm me!"

- Ian and Mickey, S5E12.

Monica's interpretation of the relationship seems to paint Mickey in a negative light. "He means well, but he doesn't get it," or something along those lines. Based on her previous experiences with the diagnosis, she has come to the conclusion that people like Mickey or Fiona, who try to get them to take medication and are saddened by the diagnosis, are being controlling, and do not love them for who they really are. That's why she always went back to Frank; he actively tried to get her to NOT take her meds or get better, and did not encourage her when she DID try to get better. So, to her, being off her meds IS the TRUE version of herself, and the people who can not accept that do not accept her.

But I think, while Ian's lines parallel Monica's, that he does not think the same way that she does.

Toward the end of season 5, Ian seems to do a complete 180 from his previous statements on his similarities with Monica.

"You flushed your pills? You get thats a full-on Monica move, right?"

"I'm not Monica."

- Ian and Fiona, S5E8

Vs.

" [...] Cause they all say how alike we are."

"That's probably not a compliment."

"Uh... No, I think it is."

- Ian and Monica, S5E11

This happens in the wake of his arrest, after Ian's siblings talk about him to the military police. Many of their comments seem to hit Ian in a way that makes him feel misunderstood or like a burden.

Debbie: But he's been acting crazier for longer than that.

Lip: Yeah, at least this past year.

Officer: How would you characterize his behavior?

Debbie: Compared to how he used to be... He's different.

Lip: He'll go back and forth from, you know, being depressed, to, you know, incredibly wound up. I mean, he ran off with a baby for no reason.

Debbie: He almost hit me in the head with a baseball bat.

Fiona: Our mother was bipolar, so we know what it looks like. She put us through Hell, and- I'm not saying you put us through Hell, but when they're manic they can be destructive.

Officer: In your opinion, does he require medication?

Fiona: Yes.

Officer: Is he unable to care for himself?

Fiona: Sometimes, yes.

So, when Ian talks to Monica when they reconnect, Ian expresses loneliness and a feeling of isolation.

"I'm really glad you came, yknow? I just... I needed someone to talk to who... gets it."

- Ian to Monica, S5E11

When Monica tells Ian to not be ashamed and that she loves him for him, she is kind of acting like his Frank. The meds have been taking a toll, and recovery is so difficult that running with her and getting validation from the only other person who could "get it" is an easy choice to make. I think the combined factors of Mickey treating him so delicately, his siblings laying out his flaws so plainly, and his mother's open acceptance creates a feeling of bitterness or shame, and Ian is hoping to find comfort in his mother.

But it doesn't go the way he expects it to.

At the diner, he thinks that Monica is going to prostitute herself for money, and is relieved when she doesn't. It's likely he was thinking of his own stint at the Fairytale in this moment.

Then, he recalls a moment from his childhood that he does not look upon fondly, only for Monica to refer to it as "good times."

He meets Monica's partner and discovers he is an aggressive teenage meth dealer that she is helping to sell the meth.

I think Ian has a true moment of clarity during this. He had thought that he was vindicated, that everybody else was wrong, that they didn't understand, that Monica was right, and that he was perfectly fine just the way he was. But then he sees what Monica considers to be "a happy life."

"Ian, I'm finally happy. People like us, we can be happy. I love him, and that's the most important thing, to find somebody to love, right? Who loves you back for who you are. I want that for you. I love you. We're gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay."

- Monica to Ian, S5E12.

Monica's perception of life is warped. What she considers a good life is living in a trailer selling meth. Good memories are traumatic memories for those around her. True love and support is an aggressive teenage dealer, or Frank Gallagher.

A simple drive to Ian was a horrifying kidnapping to Svetlana. Doing a porn that was no big deal to Ian was a betrayal of trust to Mickey. Joining Monica and ignoring the calls of his well-meaning but ignorant family to Ian was a painful and worrisome disappearance to them. Ian's perception HAS been warped, and he's crashing back to reality, realizing that he has run off with MONICA, realizing that he can't continue down the same path as her, and needs to go home.

He's come to accept that he is bipolar. He's internalized what his family has kept repeating, that he is just like Monica, and looking at her living like this, believing that she is living well, is terrifying to him.

So he goes home, believing that he is just like his mother, and he's doomed to be a piece of shit. He goes back, and he breaks up with Mickey. Because he doesn't think that people like him can be happy, and he doesn't think he'll be okay. And that isn't something that Mickey can change. Too much is wrong with him, and Mickey can't do anything about it.

Really, it's just a matter of Ian operating under the "if you love them, let them go" mindset, and Mickey interpreting it as a rejection. It's the two of them both believing they are not good enough for the other and internalizing it instead of properly communicating.

TL;DR: Ian's breakup with Mickey in S5E12 is not done in a healthy OR selfish mindset. To him, he will do nothing but drag Mickey down, and in his unmedicated and clearly altered state of mind, he thinks the best thing is to let him go.

Season Six: Dating Caleb and Other Blasphemy

The first time we see Mickey in season six, it's behind a pane of glass in an orange jumpsuit.

Mickey had tried to murder Sammi, Ian's half-sister, and had been sentenced to prison for 15 years. It's established that Ian has not been to visit Mickey much and is trying to move on past that time in his life. But, upon being bribed by Svetlana, Ian visits, and during this visit Mickey asks Ian a question:

"You gonna wait for me?" - Mickey to Ian, S6E1.

And when Ian shows hesitation:

"Fuckin' lie if you have to, man, eight years is a long time." - Mickey to Ian, S6E1.

So, Ian replies:

"Yeah. Yeah, Mick, I'll wait." - Ian to Mickey, S6E1.

Before even meeting Caleb, fans absolutely tear into Ian for his decision to not commit to Mickey in this moment. They call it selfish, or out of character, or unfair to ice Mickey out when he is going through this difficult time.

But, let's look at it from Ian's position.

Ian has dealt with abandonment issues his entire life, with both Monica and Frank being unstable and infrequent providers during his adolescence. Throughout his relationship with Mickey, they had been separated on three separate occasions, one of which was entirely voluntary on Mickey's part. Now, due to committing a major crime, Mickey has been sent away for up to fifteen years. They would both be in their thirties by the time Mickey would be released, or close to it if he got out early, and that's not even considering that he was actively taking part in jobs / activities that could extend his sentence, like stabbing people.

Ian has dealt with recurring disappointment and abandonment his entire life, and throughout their time together, Mickey hasn't really established himself as stable.

Now, before you bring out the pitchforks;

"But Mickey was there for Ian and supported him through seasons 4-5. He grew as a person and proved he IS reliable."

Yes, that's true. He did undergo massive development that allowed him to be a better partner and more reliable person to Ian. But, canonically that period of time only takes place over a few months.

Mickey, for the better part of 2-3 years, was NOT a good partner to Ian. Multiple years of an unsteady situationship is not so easily forgotten. Yes, Mickey 1000% had valid reasons for acting the way he did. It's made very clear in S3E6 and S4E11 why Mickey hides his sexuality and lashes out when forced to confront it. But that isn't an excuse. His reasons for acting in a negative way towards Ian the first three seasons is understandable, but he went about it in a bad way.

Not to mention that, despite his growth, Mickey has just been sent to PRISON. No matter how you spin it, his decision to go after Sammi was NOT justified and does not necessarily bring forth confidence in his reliability and stability.

It's not unreasonable for Ian to not want to wait for over a decade for a man who has not always been the best for him. It sucks as a viewer who is invested in them, but Ian was not in the wrong.

Beyond (justifiably) selfish reasons, Ian also already thought that he was bad for Mickey, was worried that he would ruin his life, and with Mickey's justification for his torture attempt being that he did it FOR Ian, that Sammi had it coming because of what she did TO Ian, Ian probably felt responsible for that as well. There was probably a level of guilt in Ian from the whole situation, both for Mickey being in prison and for leaving him there.

But from his point of view, it's better for everybody to try and move on.

What really bothers me about this criticism toward Ian is the sense that he OWED Mickey his time and loyalty. Because Mickey had given and sacrificed so much for Ian during seasons 4-5, it's like people think Ian is then obligated to return that for Mickey, no matter what Mickey did. It's a very transactional way to view the situation, and it just leaves me with an icky taste in my mouth. Nobody owes anybody anything in that situation. Ian does not owe Mickey companionship, and Mickey did not owe Ian support when he got put in prison in season 9. Returning to Ian was Mickey's decision to make, and not a decision Ian was obligated to make in season 6.

Now, onto the actual "dating other people" part of the conversation.

For months, Ian has done nothing but get his meds on track while working at Patsy's, then at the janitors job on Lip's campus. During this time, Ian expresses having a very low sense of self-worth.

"He as smart as you?"

"No."

"Yeah, he's smart."

"Lip is the genuis of the family."

"So that gives you an excuse for not finishing [high school]? You seem plenty smart, and Dav's uniform doesn't really suit you."

- Ian, Lip, and Professor Youens, S6E3

And:

"This is it for me, Lip. This job. This is where I land."

- Ian to Lip, S6E3

Which Lip comments on in a very concise way:

"Yknow, he thinks... Being bipolar means he's doomed to be a piece of shit like our mother."

- Lip about Ian, S6E3

Ian feels no sense of purpose during these months. He feels he has no worth and that he is doomed to work a dead-end job and have no happiness. He thinks he is just like Monica.

That only changes when he witnesses an accident on the highway, and he saves a woman's life by pulling her out of a burning car.

This leads us to Caleb.

Now I'll admit, this is where I take issue with the storytelling, because this would've been a PERFECT way to segue into Ian's EMT arc, but regardless of what I personally think would've been better, the way it plays out in canon does actually still make sense for Ian's character.

After saving the woman from the burning car, Ian collapses due to smoke inhalation and exhaustion. A firefighter on the scene provides Ian with oxygen, thus saving his life. Ian immediately fixates on this particular firefighter.

Now, Ian has a very complicated relationship with feeling his emotions post his diagnosis. In season five, when he is numbed by his meds, the only way for him to feel again is through pain, via self-harm or starting physical fights, and sex. In fact, sex plays a major part in many aspects of Ian's life.

From the age of fifteen, Ian had been consistently subject to sexual abuse. He's been used for his body by countless men throughout his teenage years and has been oftentimes reduced merely to his sexuality and what he can provide to his partner. Even Mickey, in season 2, tells Ian as such in a panicked rage.

"You think we're boyfriend and girlfriend here? You're nothing but a warm mouth to me."

- Mickey to Ian, S2E8.

(No, I'm not saying Mickey sexually abused Ian. But he did contribute to the way we see Ian default so heavily to objectifying and sexualizing himself.)

So, due to this recurring trauma, Ian has a tendency to default to sex as the primary way of getting satisfaction, be it emotional or physical.

So, when Ian gets a rush of adrenaline from the crash, after months of that numbness, he chases the emotions in the most effective way he knows how.

Ian goes to the firehouse with cookies to give as thanks to the firefighter who saved him, but with a clear ulterior motive of getting laid. When he finds out that the particular firefighter (who happens to be part of the "gay shift" which is an odd writing choice) he saw on the highway is married, Ian meets Caleb. In this scene, they speak all of one line to each other when Caleb invites Ian to a firehouse softball game. The next time we see them on screen together, Ian acts very flirtatious toward Caleb, which sets forth their relationship.

"You ever pitch?"

"... Usually, but I'm open depending on what you're into. Where we doing this?"

"Follow me."

[...]

"Wait, we're actually playing softball?"

- Ian and Caleb, S6E5

I think Ian receives hate for this simply because he's expressing interest in a guy that isn't Mickey. Fans get the impression that Ian is moving on too fast or that his interest in Caleb is sudden or rushed. However, I think the rushed nature actually works to show Ian's intentions. In this moment, Ian is not really looking for a full-on relationship. Given how little they interacted thus far, the fact that Caleb wasn't even who Ian was originally interested in, and how Ian's comments consistently err on the side of sexual, its safe to say Ian was just looking for a hookup. In fact, it's Caleb who pushes so hard FOR the relationship.

Mickey, in a deleted scene, hooks up with an inmate right after talking with Ian. If Ian's relationship with Caleb had only been a fling or hookup, I don't think Ian would've been as heavily criticized. As it is, fans get upset at this relationship because it IS a relationship. They go on dates, Ian starts staying with Caleb, and really they seem to be very domestic.

But I don't think Ian was as dedicated to the relationship with Caleb as fans make him out to be.

From the jump, Ian seems uncomfortable with the quick-moving pace of it. At first he only seems interested in sex with Caleb, but upon the negative reaction that provokes, Ian conceded to going on a date with Caleb (which is a bit of a slap in the face to Mickey fans after Gallavich's ruined date.)

"[...] I was hoping to get my hands on your hose."

"Is that what this is to you? A fuck?"

"You say it like it's a bad thing. Come on, let's get out of here."

"No. I knew you were younger than me, but I thought you were a grown-up."

"Fuck. Okay. Okay. Hey, I'm into you, alright? I thought you were into me."

"I am."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I don't stick my dick in just any guy."

"What do you want, then?"

"Seriously? Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"Yeah."

"A date."

"With, like, flowers and chocolate and shit?"

"No, we could skip the flowers."

"Okay. You're on."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E5

(Side note, pulling a "is that all this is to you" after two non-romantic interactions is not just quick in terms of hookup culture, which Ian is more attuned to, but is quick in any terms. More on that later.)

During this date, Ian is visibly very uncomfortable. Some would chalk this up to him having never been on a date before, and the writing even seems to imply that,

"Okay, look, I have no idea what I'm doing. My last boyfriend wasn't much of a talker, his idea of a conversation was to insult me a bunch and then punch me right before we banged."

- Ian to Caleb, S6E6

but that's actually not true, DESPITE the writers forgetting that.

"You know, Mickey and I never went out on dates. Ned never took me out, Kash and I fucked in the back of a convenience store, and I don't think jerking off strangers in a nightclub counts, so..."

- Ian to Lip, S6E6.

He actually HAD gone out on a "date" with Ned in season three, where he was visibly less uncomfortable than on his date with Caleb. He also went to many loft parties during his time dancing at the club, wherein he blended in very well and was able to sorta chameleon himself with the northside crowd. I think the show wants us to believe his discomfort is from him "never having been on a date before" or being unfamiliar with a "slower" pace, but I think his discomfort actually would stem from him just genuinely not being interested in Caleb in a romantic way, and thus feeling awkward on a date that's in a more romantic setting (compared to his one with Ned, which was undoubtedly more sexual.)

I also think his discomfort stems from being completely out of his element. Ian has taken a massive hit to his confidence since his diagnosis, so his Southside roots bring about a bit more hesitancy in him than it might have before, and he may be less confident in his ability to chameleon. That's why, during the date, Ian shows discomfort with Caleb when he shows more "class" than Ian.

"Usually, I get a bunch of apps to share. You good with that?"

"[Uncertain hum] ... Appetizers! Sure, yeah, big- big fan of apps."

[...]

"You seem like a very pensive kinda guy. You an only child?"

"Uh, no."

"Brothers and sisters?"

"A bunch, yeah."

"Older or younger?"

"Both."

"What about your parents? Both still alive?"

"... Yeah."

"... Fantastic. I'm learning so much."

[...]

"Where I'm from, people communicate with their fists."

"Where's that?"

"Southside."

"Mmm. Hands of steel. Okay, so you're a street rat. A brawler."

"Is that a problem?"

"Only if you make it one."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E6.

Then, beyond their first date, we have the actual relationship to dive into.

Throughout his scenes with Caleb, Ian seems to oscillate between neutrality, discomfort, or mild enjoyment in the situations he finds himself in.

There's this interaction, for example, where Ian lets Caleb take charge in defining their relationship:

"So what are we doing?"

"Whatever you want, I guess."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E7.

Or this moment:

"What are you smiling at?"

"I like having you over here. What are you smiling at?"

"I like having a purpose."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E8.

Or when Caleb invites Ian out with his friends, and we see Ian slip into his chameleon persona, mirroring the petty mannerisms of the most vocal participant of the conversation, as well as avoiding diving too much into his personal history.

"You haven't told me which one is your ex."

"Guess."

"Old guy, pink sweater."

"How'd you know?"

"Ooh, a redhead, Caleb? Does his carpet match his drapes?"

"You're a good sport."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E8.

[...]

"If we had known you were bringing a middle school student, Caleb, we wouldn't have come to a place that cards."

"Oh, no, it's cool, I don't drink. I hear it makes your skin old and leathery."

"That's-that's how we're playing this?"

"Hey, you threw down first."

"Where you from, kid?"

"Back of the Yards."

"Local boy. What's your story?"

"Story?"

"Who you are, what you do, how did you meet this chocolate bundt cake?"

"Met him at the firehouse."

- Ian and Gregory, S6E8

[...]

"We like this one, Caleb. Don't we, Gregory?"

"I mean, If young, beautiful, and kind of a smartass is something to like, sure, fine, I guess we do."

- Caleb's friends about Ian, S6E8.

OR, in a deleted scene where Caleb expresses frustration at Ian keeping the distance between him and Ian's family, as well as Ian's lack of communication, while Ian seems unbothered or even perplexed by Caleb's frustration.

"So, where'd you sleep last night?"

"Home. Got done at three, told you I'd be late."

"Yeah, like nighttime late, not next day late."

"Well, I didn't wanna wake you, and I had to go back there to grab some stuff: clothes, towels..."

"Where's there?"

"Home, you mean?"

"Yeah."

"Back of the Yards."

"Right. You did mention that once. I still don't know where it is or who I'd call if there was an emergency?"

"Uh... my brother, I guess? Or my sister."

"Brother or sister. Okay. I'll just track down Ian Gallagher's brother or sister on the internet."

"I'll... put their numbers in your phone."

"Great."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E11 deleted scene.

OR any of the follwing:

When they go to get Ian tested for STDs, he is visibly uncomfortable having Caleb in the room with him.

He is only comfortable revealing his bipolar disorder if it is done in exchange for another secret from Caleb.

He isn't very comfortable sharing his past, only references his previous relationship in a lighthearted manner, and he only reveals his sexual history upon feeling pressured to do so, which he purposefully presents in a callous way.

To me, the entirety of Ian and Caleb's relationship reads as Ian's desperation for validation through sex, which leads to him putting up with a relationship he isn't entirely comfortable in or commited to or ready for. To me, it seems like he's truly just looking for companionship in any way he can get it.

Out of everything, though, I think what really gets to fans most about this storyline is the constant comparison of Caleb to Mickey as a means of demonizing Mickey.

Throughout the entirety of Ian and Caleb's relationship, there is a constant comparison between the two relationships, seemingly with the intent of painting Mickey as a horrible partner.

When Ian tells Lip about his upcoming date with Caleb, he remarks that he never went on dates with Mickey, which comes off as an unnecessary jab.

During his date with Caleb, Ian talks about his lack of effective communication skills, which reflects negatively on Mickey, to the point Caleb brings forward the idea of domestic abuse.

During the wedding that Ian attends with Caleb, Ian mentions Mickey's marriage to Svetlana, and he uses a tone that comes off as belittling the situation and how difficult it was for Mickey.

There's this line, when Caleb asks Ian to kiss for the first time:

"Can I kiss you?"

"I thought kissing comes after you've had sex a bunch of times."

"Ian, kissing comes whenever you want it to. Even now."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E6.

Then, there's Mandy stating that Caleb was better than Mickey.

"A hot black fireman. Also an artist."

"Upgrade from my brother."

"I miss Mickey, but uh... This new guy's nice."

- Ian and Mandy, S6E9

These near constant comparisons to Mickey are frustrating to fans, because it can often feel like Ian, or even just the writers and the narrative, are trying to belittle Mickey's character and reduce him to a one-note toxic ex, which completely spits in the face of the development that he went through. THAT is what is most frustrating to fans.

Because it's true that Mickey was not always the best partner. In real life, Mickey would be a walking red flag, and Gallavich would be undeniably toxic. But that applies to EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER in Shameless. That is the entire point of the show. None of them are particularly good people. They all do shitty things, but they all have compelling reasons for doing it. That's why we can look at these characters and feel connected to them instead of just absolutely hating them.

It's a really odd writing choice for a show that focuses on morally gray characters, or the idea that nobody in the show is really a good person, to decide to play moral high ground in this particular instance, and have Ian suddenly turn his nose up at Mickey's behaviors.

But is this really how Ian feels?

Because, as established, Ian is VERY good at playing chameleon. He is good at shaping himself into whatever a partner wants him to be. He mirrors his partners mannerisms, beliefs, and attitudes.

And Caleb, for all that the story wants to make us believe he's better than Mickey, is actually not the best partner either. Not just for cheating on Ian in season seven and then gaslighting Ian about it; he shows some toxic behaviors in season six as well, including being lowkey judgmental about Ian's Southside roots.

Take, for example, Caleb implying that the Southside is trash, but that he can see the beauty in Ian despite being from the Southside:

"That's my latest. I love to find the treasure inside the trash. Trying to find the secret life in things. What it wants to be instead of what it is."

"Is that what you're doing with me?"

"Good question. Can I kiss you?"

- Ian and Caleb, S6E6

(Which, funnily enough, this line from Caleb goes pretty against the sentiment that Monica had in season five, of Ian finding somebody who loves Ian for who he already is, as Mickey did.)

Or, for another example, Caleb judging Ian pretty heavily during the softball game for being "not grown-up." Simply because Ian expresses sexual interest in him above romantic.

"Cmon, let's get out of here."

"No. I knew you were younger than me, but I thought you were a grown-up."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E5.

Which, as I pointed out before, is really strange behavior. Participating in hookup culture isn't something that Ian needs to be shamed over. There's a sentiment of "Hooking up is beneath me, it's immature," to Caleb's tone, which is unfair. Now, he has reasons for this, that being his experience with getting HIV from a hookup who lied to him, which draws a pretty interesting parallel to Ian.

"Don't worry, guy I did the scene with said he was clean."

"He didn't use a rubber? Are you out of your fucking mind?"

- Ian and Mickey, S5E5.

Vs.

"Guy in college. He lied to me."

- Caleb to Ian, S6E8.

(Which I actually find to be a very interesting plot point and is actually a pretty good scene.)

So, while Caleb was not wrong to put forth a boundary by not hooking up, he was wrong for acting as if IAN was the problem in the situation. Not to mention, his behavior at the game is very strange when taken into account how little they've interacted thus far. He had understandable reasons for his negative reaction, but he went about it the wrong way. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

Anyways, I could talk about the relationship between Ian and Caleb more, but that's not what the point of this is.

The point I'm trying to make is that Caleb, however covertly, expresses a negative or biased view toward the Southside lifestyle. And Ian, being the type to mimic his partners, follows along in that.

Ian already fears that he is going to be left. He is afraid that showing Caleb who he really is and not being the idealized version of himself will lead to Caleb breaking up with him.

"I'm enjoying it while it lasts."

"You think he'll dump you?"

"Well, I've told him I'm bipolar, and my family's screwed up, and he took it pretty well. But it's one thing to hear it and another to live it, so... We shall see."

- Ian and Mandy, S6E9

So, he chameleons. He makes himself the treasure in the trash. He distances himself from the image of a brooding, Southside street rat.

Because, after so long of constant pain and numbness during and post his diagnosis, Caleb is the first good thing he's found.

"I haven't been this happy in a long time."

- Ian to Caleb, S6E8.

And really, everything that I just talked about doesn't matter when you think about it that way.

No matter how dedicated or invested Ian was in his relationship with Caleb, it still provided him with companionship and validation, which as we know, is something that Ian has an unhealthy dependence on to find self-worth.

And I don't think Ian was wrong in searching for that connection simply because that connection wasn't with Mickey. He could've been well and truly in love with Caleb, and he wouldn't deserve some of the hate he receives for his canon actions.

It's easy to look at Ian's relationship with Caleb and get frustrated because of all the time that was put into Ian and Mickey's relationship. But beyond the instinctual negative feeling that comes with seeing Ian with anybody other than Mickey, his relationships outside of Mickey deserve to be analyzed and observed for what they actually do for HIS character, and not just immediately cast aside as unnecessary or ooc.

So, to summarize:

Firstly, Ian wasn't selfish for not waiting 15 years for somebody in prison. Whether he was serious about Caleb or not, Ian was under no obligation to dedicate himself to Mickey. Ian did not owe Mickey anything simply because Mickey was there for Ian when shit got tough. If they had been together, sure, Ian would've been a lot shittier for leaving Mickey alone. But as it was, they were broken up, and even if they hadn't been, Ian would've had every right to not want to continue seeing Mickey after his decision to harm Sammi, just as Lip was justified in not wanting to be with Mandy anymore after she ran over Karen.

Secondly, Ian dating Caleb wasn't bad for his character. In fact, I think their relationship in season six was actually a very interesting way to progress Ian's character and get more insight into his mind and how he operates.

Thirdly, Ian and Caleb's relationship deserves to be analyzed for what it is, rather than what it isn't. Just because Ian is not with Mickey doesn't mean that he doesn't undergo some huge development in this season, both in and outside his relationship with Caleb. Furthermore, Ian entering a new relationship gives us the opportunity to see more sides of his character, and as such the relationship should be analyzed as it's own separate entity, and not just as a hurdle in the way of Gallavich.

Fourth, Ian was not just waiting to cast Mickey aside to jump on the next dick possible. I've seen this criticism before, and when looking at his actual arc at the beginning of S6 and analyzing his general character, that's just simply not true. Entering a new relationship is not equal to immediately disregarding Mickey.

TL;DR: The hate Ian gets from this season mainly stems from "Ian date somebody aside from Mickey, bad Ian" without any further thought behind why he enters the relationship and what the relationship actually means to him. There is no separation in the minds of fans between Ian and Mickey, and therefore, Ian having experiences and an identity outside of Mickey is negatively perceived.

Season Seven: Putting His Own Wellbeing First

This one will be less long winded than the previous one, because I have less to say on it, honestly.

During the entirety of Ian's bipolar arc, it is pretty clearly shown that to maintain mental wellness, Ian needs stability.

When Mickey shows up and asks Ian to run away with him to Mexico, that's threatening to uproot every amount of stability Ian has managed to secure the past two seasons of the show.

I honestly don't see as much hate directed toward Ian for his decision to leave Mickey at the border as I see for his previous decisions. I'd say the main thing I actually see directed toward this season is just that Ian's story is boring without Mickey in it. Mostly because he enters another new relationship with Trevor after his relationship with Caleb, which really just follows the cyclical Shameless cycle of, "Don't know what to do with a character? Give them a new love interest!" But because I talked about the judgement for non-Gallavich Ian relationships above, I don't particularly feel like doing a deep dive into the Ian and Trevor relationship in this meta.

What I want to talk about relates to the Mickey Mexico storyline, though, and that's the hate other characters recieve for trying to dissuade Ian from going.

After finding out that Mickey escaped from prison, Fiona and Ian have the following conversation:

"What are you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep. You ever, uh, think about about what would've happened if you'd run off with Jimmy-Steve?"

"Lying sociopath Jimmy-Steve? My life would be a nonstop psycho-thriller. I definitely dodged a bullet with that one."

"What if nothing ever gives you that same thrill again? Still feel like you dodged a bullet?"

"I don't know. Probably. Where's this coming from?"

"Things have been weird between me and Trevor since Mickey got out."

"You mean since Mickey busted out of prison and has got half the Chicago Police Department circling the Southside looking for him."

"Can't get him out of my head. Just trying to stop myself from doing something I shouldn't."

"You turned your life around. Mickey would set a match to it. You've done really great without him, and I'm really fucking proud of you."

- Ian and Fiona, S7E10.

I've seen this conversation criticized many times because of how "unfairly" Mickey is treated in this scene. But I truly think that nothing said in this scene was wrong, and Fiona was 100% right.

In the past, Fiona has definitely shown a prejudice against the Milkovich family before. Specifically with Mandy, Fiona seems to look down upon her and disapproves of the relationship between her and Lip. This on its own is unfair treatment and is annoying to witness.

But in this particular case, absolutely nothing she is saying is wrong or biased simply because Mickey is a Milkovich.

People take the line, "Mickey would set a match to it," and compare it to his behavior in late Season 4 through season 5, where Mickey is taking care of Ian, and say that Fiona is being untruthful or hypocritical. If Mickey had never been sent to prison, or even if he had just been released legally, and Ian was simply thinking about cheating on Trevor and getting back with Mickey instead of running away with him, then the criticism toward Fiona would be more justified. But as it is, Mickey is a wanted fugitive, and Ian running away with him would make Ian a fugitive as well, and WOULD effectively set a match to the life Ian had spent the past two seasons working toward. He would be giving up a career he worked hard for and fought to have, he'd be living in stressful conditions on the run, he'd have no support system, and he would have less ease of access to his medication. Running with Mickey would have been the wrong decision for Ian's wellbeing, and honestly, Mickey should never have asked Ian to go with him.

I think that many people have rose colored glasses on when it comes to Gallavich, specifically with Mickey, and that makes it harder to view these moments unbiased. But, looking at it objectively, Mickey was so wrong for asking Ian to come with him to Mexico. He KNOWS that Ian needs stability with his bipolar diagnosis, and he KNOWS that this would be a stressful life he'd be forcing Ian into.

Simply put, he's acting selfishly in that moment. Having your own interests in mind is not always a bad thing, but in this specific case, Mickey would have thrown a huge wrench into Ian's life is Ian hadn't made decisions in HIS best interest.

Again, I have less to say on this as I did other subjects, because to me it feels much more cut and dry. Mickey was in the wrong here 100%, Fiona was not being wrongfully judgmental toward Mickey, and Ian was not in the wrong for not going with Mickey.

After so long of seeing them apart, it makes sense to want to see them together again. So when Ian, again, is the one making the decision to end their relationship, fans are going to lash out at him and those around him.

But it's important to put aside biases and allow your favorite character to be in the wrong occasionally. Mickey is not perfect, and criticism against him, both from characters in the show and fans, is not unfounded nor unjustified.

TL;DR: Mickey was wrong for asking Ian to uproot his life and run to Mexico, and calling that out isn't defamation of his character.

To End This Yap Session:

Ian is by no means a faultless character, and he is not exempt from criticism both inside and outside of his relationship with Mickey. However, I often feel that the criticism he faces is for the wrong reasons, and not much contemplation or exploration is done on him as much as it is for Mickey.

I love Mickey. He's an amazingly complex character, and his relationship with Ian is one of my favorite parts of the show. But in being a complex character, he is also an imperfect character.

I feel that many fans get very protective over their favorite characters, to the point that anything that goes against that character's interests is labeled as bad, and any criticism toward his character is disregarded immediately.

In this particular case of Gallavich, I feel that post season three, fans often see things from Mickey's point of view without looking at Ian's as much. This meta was simply to give my own thoughts on Ian's most "controversial" moments among fans. Obviously this is mostly condensed to season six and his relationship with Caleb, which I feel is the biggest example of jumping to conclusions and only seeing the surface level of his character.

However, I would like to acknowledge that Ian is also an insanely popular character in the Shameless fandom. While he is misunderstood in many instances, he is given much more sympathy and understanding than many other characters in the show, especially many of the female characters. This long-winded meta is only focused on the concerning tendency for fans to link Ian's identity to Mickey entirely without allowing him to be an individual, but a majority of the time he is still a beloved character who is treated favorably by fans. Compared to a character like Debbie, Ian sees much more support, and I feel that the energy I put toward this meta and trying to understand Ian should also be applied to (almost) EVERY character in the show.

Anyways feel free to leave thoughts.