#like as characters they’re objectively hilarious but also made in a lab to make me sad

[puzzlebug]

every time we discuss pasha and fennel they become both sadder and infinitely funnier

[thanksjro]

The Prequel

Eugenesis has a prequel, in the form of a 13-page comic called Liars, A-to-D, laying out the groundwork for what’s to come. If the title sounds familiar, it’s probably because it was reused in the first MTMTE storyline, covering issues #1-3. Roberts likes a little recycling, he does. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

The art is more or less on-par for what one might have seen in the original cartoon, only it’s black and white. There’s a few points where the posing gets a little funky, but I can still tell who’s supposed to be who for the most part, and that’s pretty impressive for a colorless Transformers comic. Quality isn’t the crispest, but that’s most likely due to the scan I have.

This comic starts with a cold open, stating that 56 million years ago, the first Cybertronians sprung from the metal of the planet- the narration calls it “spontaneous evolution” and that it “just happened.” The narration seems to have trouble grappling with the vast number of chance events that go on, covering the “spontaneous" eruption of Mt. Hilary that lead to the Autobots being repaired and restored after four million years on Earth.

Oh, hey, Prowl.

Then we contrast these things that “just happened”, with something that, in the narrator’s opinion, didn’t “just happen”; at the signing of a treaty in the far-flung year of 2302, Rodimus, Ultra Magnus, Springer, and Soundwave are all at the pulpit, with millions of spectators looking on. Suddenly, a whole city street just shows up out of nowhere, and full of ‘bots who are scared out of their wits. The event is brushed off as “spontaneous materialization”, but our narrator- who’s been revealed at this point to be Ultra Magnus, if the art is anything to go by- doesn’t agree. He certainly hopes that this isn’t what this is.

BOOM. 12/21/12, just like I said it would happen. And hey! It’s James Roberts! That guy this blog is following through these writings. Good to know he’s actually here now.

I tried looking up Matt Dallas and Graham Thomson, but didn’t get much on either of them. I’m guessing they didn’t do a whole lot in this vein after this publication.

Star Saber is in this, apparently. Can’t wait to see him, and what he’s bringing to the table. I, truthfully, don’t know a whole lot about Star Saber, outside of the IDW comics, so I’m genuinely interested to see what he’s like.

Our first shot within the prequel proper is of space debris floating over the planet Cybertron, with a weather report. That tells me something’s going to fall out of the sky at some point. Call it a hunch.

I’d call it “understanding foreshadowing as a concept”, but that doesn’t roll off the tongue quite as well.

We cut to a television broadcast of Galvatron, who’s encouraging ‘bots to join the Decepticons. It’s a hell of a recruitment video, being broadcasted everywhere, even underground, where the Autobots are hiding. There’s even a call number. Chromedome asks Prowl if he should give it a ring, but Prowl doesn’t seem to think that’s such a great idea.

For some reason, Prowl has this little ring floating above his head in these panels, and I keep reading it as a halo. As far as I know, he’s not dead, so I don’t know why this is happening. Unfortunate framing against the background, perhaps, but the backgrounds in this scene are all pretty blocky, so that doesn’t make a ton of sense either.

Oh, hey, Chromedome. How’s the hubby? You’re looking very Headmaster-y today.

Meanwhile, at the recording studio, it’s revealed that Galvatron wasn’t making that call to action at all- it was a puppet, all part of a rig set up by Soundwave, in the light of Galvatron not having spoken to anyone in ages, presumably in some sort of comatose state.

Now, surely I mean an actor when I say puppet, right?

No. No, I don’t.

I love how awkward everyone looks here. You have the guy with the clap board, who’s obviously never used one in his life, just standing off to the side waiting for some direction, the guy working the puppet who looks like he’s about to drop their great leader’s torso on national television, and Gun Guy. Soundwave really knows how to pick ‘em. I know it isn’t an ideal situation, but a little more upper body strength on the puppeteer would make things go a lot smoother.

Also, hot tip: if you have to use the word “subjugate” when talking about your cause, that means you’re on the wrong side of history, my dude. No non-evil group would ever use that terminology. I know the Decepticons are still cartoonishly evil at this point, but geezum crow, that’s a bit on the nose.

We get another weather report, then check in on our dear Prime, Rodimus, who’s in the middle of an exorcism- his own, to be precise. It doesn’t go anywhere, and Kup interrupts him having what looks like a seizure as he tries fruitlessly to get Unicron out of his body.

Meanwhile, in Helex, what was supposed to be a routine surveillance mission isn’t turning out so hot. The Autobots and Decepticons are at a standoff on a bridge. It ends poorly for just about everyone- some guy gets his head blown clean off! Sixshot is about to make a killing blow, when he’s crushed under a massive chunk of space metal.

Up in the skies, an Autobot ship is being chased by everyone’s favorite time-traveling pals, Cyclonus and Scourge. Scourge is looking extra boaty today.

…Cyclonus, you’re also a fly-boy. You’re arguably more of a fly-boy than Scourge is right now, because you actually look like something that can fly. This is after Headmasters, so I suppose we can forgive him being a little stupid.

While they’re being attacked, the Autobot ship picks up the signatures of thousands of unidentified objects, and then is immediately pelted with tons of metal falling out of the sky.

Foreshadowing! It’s never let me down. And hey, it’s that space metal that squashed Sixshot.

The Autobot ship abandoned, Cyclonus and Scourge head of the surface of the planet to regroup. Scourge asks who was aboard the ship, and when he’s told it was Nightbeat, Fastlane, and Cloudraker, he gets spooked.

And then he explodes.

I’m right there with you, Cyclonus. I don’t know why that happened, either.

The following day, Rodimus is in the lab with Perceptor, taking a gander at one of the larger pieces of space metal- they’ve sussed out that it’s the core of Moonbase 2, which was lost eons ago. The odd thing is, it’s covered in writing that isn’t Cybertronian. Something fishy’s going on. Rodimus tells Perceptor to store the moon core at Eocra for now, and not to tell the high council anything just yet.

All pieces in place, I suppose, we head back to the odd scene we left at the treaty signing, where the city street popped into existence without warning. The pedestrians on said street are taken into custody, where they’re questioned by way of police brutality. They claim to be from 2013, and then the sci-fi jargon hits hard and I couldn’t really tell you what it means.

What I can glean from this, however, is that maybe storing the moon base core in Eocra wasn’t such a hot idea.

The 2013-era ‘bots are thrilled to not be in their current year, seeing as they were witnessing the end of the world when they were transported. Now, remember, this comic takes place in 2302, so something’s clearly going on here. Are they lying? Suffering from time-sickness? From a parallel universe? We’ll have to read the novel to figure that one out. Still, our narrator has a bad feeling about all this, and Ultra Magnus goes down to visit Primus, where they store the memory banks of all the survivors of the war, lamenting that there are so few “true” ones left. True survivors include, but aren’t limited to: Rodimus, Perceptor, Soundwave, Sludge- a dinobot- Galvatron, Ultra Magnus himself, and Wheelie, whose canister seems to have some sort of caveat.

Well, that can surely only mean good things.

In the postscript- yes, not an epilogue, but a postscript- we summarize what’s just happened: the accounts of multiple spontaneous events, and the promise that the past will come back to haunt us. Fun stuff. We’re left with a final look at the symbol that was left on the moon core, which will surely play into the story to come.

I also have, at my disposal, the script that Roberts wrote for Liars, A-to-D, which, as far as I know, is the first comic script he’d ever written.

Because I have access to the script, some of the more interesting details are made known. Hey, guys I found Star Saber- he was the guy I thought was Ultra Magnus, and is actually the narrator. Whoops. I suppose that would explain why he was presented in this comic on the title page. In my defense, there’s only one good shot of his face in the whole comic, and they have very similar heights and shoulders.

Star Saber, I am so sorry. That one’s completely on me.

The script allows us to figure out who some of the lesser known characters are- for example, the ‘bot holding the Galvatron puppet up is named Pounce. Get some more bicep curls into your workout routine, Pounce.

We can also get a little insight into scenes that we otherwise wouldn’t.

He’s reciting the Primal Pentechurch here, for his exorcism. This can probably be decoded. Neat!

I can also put some names to the Autobots that are featured in the Helex standoff, including Quark. No, not that one. Different guy- this one turns into a hover-car.

His character description is actually in the script, addressing the artist, Matt Dallas. It’s pretty in-depth, like the sort of direction one would give for an art commission of their OC, which I suppose it is in a way.

Little fact about myself: I went to college for film production, specifically in script and screenplay writing. I know a thing or two about scripts. You typically don’t do this within the script itself, but rather in the character bio, because it can mess up the pacing of the script-to-screen ratio; one page of script amounts to roughly one minute of screen time. Now, this obviously isn’t the exact same thing, seeing as it’s a comic script, but it stuck out to me.

Still, for a cherry script, it’s not bad. And, after all, I didn’t study for comic scripting, so what do I know? I’m just some asshole on the internet, I don’t get paid for this.

Oh right, I can figure out what the hell happened to Scourge; there was apparently a bomb inside of his chest, that he decided to set off right in front of his buddy Cyclonus. No mention as to WHY this happened, though. We’ll have to save that question for the novel proper.

Right, that happened. There’s a lot of unintentional vore in the UK Transformers comics.

In the script, the names on the cabinets don’t exactly match up with what’s seen in the comic. Wheelie isn’t mentioned at all- one has to assume the comic’s inclusion of him is a little jab at the character for being what some might call “annoying”. Sludge also isn’t listed, but Prowl and Nightbeat are. Their cabinets might be hidden behind Star Saber, and therefore out of shot.

So, final thoughts: this script was… okay. Roberts clearly knows what he wants included, and makes his vision known, perhaps a bit too strictly in places. All in all, completely serviceable, did everything a script is supposed to do, but nothing amazing. And that’s fine! I’d honestly be worried if the script here was on par with what we got seven years later. Writers are supposed to grow and improve.

But now it’s time to prepare ourselves for the prose writing. Up next- Eugenesis!

[aion-rsa]

New Pokemon Snap Successfully Modernizes the Classic N64 Formula

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New Pokémon Snap takes one of the oldest, most bizarre, yet surprisingly brilliant offshoots of the Pokémon franchise and updates it for the current generation, 22 years after the launch of the original game back in 1999 on the N64. It’s a polished update to the original formula that deepens and expands the experience in many ways while preserving the core idea that made the first game so brilliant in the first place. Developers Bandai Namco did a fantastic job here, and for fans of the original like me, it’s a treat to head back out into the wild, camera in hand.

The key to both the original and New Pokémon Snap’s success is the on-rails gameplay, which ironically opens up a litany of creative avenues for the developers to riff on. You sit in a roving pod called the Neo One, which pilots you down a (mostly) predetermined route through a lush environment while you try to take aesthetically pleasing photographs of Pokémon in their natural habitat.

Photos are scored at the end of each expedition by several criteria, including how centered the Pokémon is in the frame, how large they are in the frame, the direction they’re facing, etc. Racking up big scores gives you points toward the “research level” of that specific environment, which gives you a reason to return to areas you’ve already played. Every time an environment’s research level increases, the expedition changes in different ways, with the Pokémon’s behaviors, positioning, and movement paths changing, giving you new opportunities for better photos.

As you do more research across the Lental region’s different biomes, you’ll receive new items to use in the field to draw out Pokémon and elicit reactions. Fluffruit can be thrown to get a Pokémon’s attention and capture photos of them enjoying a tasty snack. There’s the scanner, which analyzes anomalies and uncovers alternate roots, and also has the bonus effect of attracting the attention of certain Pokémon when activated. And then there are Illumina Balls, which cause Pokémon to glow and can change their behavior on occasion, and a little song you can play, which wakes sleeping Pokémon and causes others to dance.

The main objective of the game is to fill up your Photodex—each Pokémon has four star-ranked poses to capture, and it’s challenging to figure out how to elicit all four poses from each species. It becomes a bit of a puzzle game of sorts as you try to capture your perfect Pokémon pics. Because your movement is restricted, you’re forced to bring the Pokémon in close and influence their behavior by using a variety of items and tools. Being that the Neo One moves ever forward, you’ve only got a few moments to make your moves and position the Pokémon where you need them to be for your snaps.

Watching the Pokémon move around the environments, interact with each other, and essentially do what they do in their natural environments is incredibly entertaining to watch, particularly on your first few runs through a level. Whether it’s two Charmander chatting with each other across a magma river, a family of Onix catching some Z’s under the night sky, or a Magikarp awkwardly flailing in the air, lunging at a thrown Fluffruit, the animations and scripted scenarios look fantastic. 

The artists and engineers at Bandai Namco nail the presentation, and all of the levels are absolutely teeming with life, which adds to the sense of immersion. Cruising through the reefs and beaches of the oceanic levels is wonderfully serene, and the roiling lava streams and rising embers of the volcanic areas are a sight to behold. The environments can stale a bit on multiple playthroughs, but there are day and night variations of most levels, and raising the research levels adds variety as well.

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Overall, the game looks pretty slick, with relatively well-detailed character models and environments that pop with color and personality. The game would’ve likely benefited from a more robust lighting system (there are some environments, like the misty forests, that would look absolutely spectacular with more atmospheric and dynamic effects), but the visuals are eye-catching all the same. Some of the larger Pokémon are downright majestic to behold when you get up close, and to that point, the sense of scale is something that the mainline games are sorely missing.

The sound design is solid, too—you can hear Pokémon outside of your field of vision, which comes in handy if you’re an active listener. It’s still a wonder why a company as profitable as Nintendo can’t afford to provide full voice acting in a game like this, which isn’t exactly brimming with dialogue in the first place. But still, the human characters at the lab provide a nice break from all the cacophony of Pokémon sounds you’ll hear on your excursions.

The story is thin but cute and totally appropriate: You’re a research assistant for Dr. Mirror in the Lental region, where you’re gathering photographic data on not just different Pokémon species, but a phenomena called “illumina,” which involves mysterious flowers that cause Pokémon to glow and alters their behavior. If nothing else, the human cast of characters’ excitement toward the Pokémon and your pictures adds to the fun and reminds you how cool it is to see the cute critters and towering beasts so close-up.

For fans of the franchise, New Pokémon Snap should be a delight to play, if for no other reason than it’s a ton of fun to see the Pokémon up close and personal, interacting with each other in adorable, hilarious ways. But there are also achievements to collect, the Photodex to fill in and read, and a photo album that you can customize and share with others online. I wouldn’t be surprised to see the game’s community thrive for a very, very long time.

There’s really no other game quite like New Pokémon Snap. It’s a nature-photography arcade game whose gameplay feels pure and simple and yet is wholly unique at the same time. There’s maybe no better way to immerse yourself in the wild world of Pokémon—the lovable creatures have never looked so good. And the game is damn fun to play, to boot. In fact, when you take the battling and stats of the main games out of the equation, the true beauty of Pokémon shines through—these characters are cute as hell, and all we want to do is admire how gloriously awesome they are.

The post New Pokemon Snap Successfully Modernizes the Classic N64 Formula appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[thelookingglassalice]

Alterations 

Characters: Steve Rogers/Captain America x OC (Ava) (Masterlist)

Synopsis: Set during Age of Ultron. Steve and Ava deal with the aftermath of her abduction and the realization that Bucky is alive. They start to consider what their future holds.

Word Count: 5133

Warnings: Smut

@emilyevanston @ariallane @alievans007 @mewsiex @tvjunkie08 @chrisevans-imagines@mumbles411 @lillianfromaccounting @musicalninja 

“Isn’t your old man coming back today?” Tony paused outside the door to my office. I looked up from my laptop, Tony tossed some trail mix into his mouth as he waited for my response. “Huh?” I frowned. “Big guy, blonde, wears spandex, nice teeth, prone to dramatic speeches?” Tony made a gesture with his hand. “Oh, right. Is he here?” I went back to my screen. “Don’t get too excited. You might pull something.” Tony rolled his eyes. “Just keeping my emotions in check.” “No, you’re going to make yourself emotionally unavailable to him. And hopefully push him away.” Tony leaned in the doorway. “Look, this would be a good place to start. Some intel suggests the scientists went here.” I pointed to a satellite image on my screen. With the downfall of SHIELD all HYDRA had been exposed. I had thrown myself into the decades of information that had come to light. The unfortunate thing was that objects had been smuggled out as SHIELD fell. Loki’s Chitauri scepter had been removed from storage and taken…somewhere. “No comment on my assessment of your relationship?” Tony entered the room and leaned over my shoulder. He had set me up an office in the tower, Maria Hill and I were carrying the administrative duties of the Avengers. Tony spent most of his time with Bruce in the labs. They were working on a mechanical clean up crew. The robots would be able to do crowd control and evacuations during missions. “I’m ignoring you. What is ULTRON?” I kept staring at the screen.

I honestly didn’t care what ULTRON was. It was a pet project of Tony and Bruce’s that they were keeping close to the chest. But I also was not getting into a discussion about my love life. Steve and I had not had a decent conversation since we were released from the hospital and he left to find Bucky. The occasional text and video chat where we put on happy faces and talked about the weather. His mind was with Bucky. Mine was dealing with the mental and physical toll my new enhancements were taking. Bruce was working with me on control. I still couldn’t help the reactions in certain situations. I fried four computers being startled. Now people knew to make noise if they were coming to my office. Nat thought it was hilarious. Our training sessions now involved us trying to electrocute each other by surprise. Nights were the hardest. After several nightmares it became clear that I needed to have a sedative on hand. I had projected a dream of the vault and Bucky into everyone else’s sleep. It shook everyone up and caused an outbreak of depression. “ULTRON…never heard of him.” Tony pretended to think about it. “Do we have a way to call Thor? Like…do we page him through Heimdal?” “Good question.” Tony straightened and started to walk out. “It won’t work.” “What won’t?” I figured he was talking about the Iron Leigon or his new armor. “You won’t push him away. If you want it to be over, you’ll have to tell him. And he’ll still wait for you to get over yourself.” Tony was still facing away from me. He tapped the wall as he left. “Where does a narcissist get insight on self-loathing?” I called after him. “Genius, remember?” He called back. I wasn’t ready for Steve to come back. I wasn’t ready to feel his pain, or cause him any pain. Since I was much closer to him, it would be harder to keep all emotions in check. He would bust right through the barriers I had built to keep out the constant flow of emotions from the world. And that would cause my influence to overcome others. But Tony was right. I could do everything short of calling Steve a HYDRA agent and he’d still want me. I still wanted him. But this Bucky thing had messed him up even more. He was guilty that he didn’t save him, he tortured himself with the what-if’s even more now. And there was something else. Something having to do with Tony that he was feeling guilty over. “Ava?” “Shit!” And there went another laptop. “Problem?” Steve’s eyes widened. “Several.” I sighed and shut my defunct laptop. “FYI, stealth is not an option around me anymore. If I hadn’t been concentrating I would’ve felt you, so next time make noise. Maybe a bell around your neck. Something.” “Sorry. Sort of been relying on stealth the last few weeks.” Steve’s brow furrowed at my tone. “I need to hit storage for another computer.” I stood, still not looking at him. He was keeping his feelings buried. But they were there. Guilt was nauseating, it gave me a bitter taste in my mouth. I relaxed and brushed my hand over his as I passed to the hallway. “How do you feel?.” He muttered as I passed. “Taller.” My lips twitched into a smile. The elevator opened and Bruce stepped out. He took in the the scene and cleared his throat. “Hey.” I exhaled and walked towards him. I heard Steve follow. “Here.” Bruce threw something at me. “Another earpiece?” I squinted at it. “Silencer.” He raised an eyebrow. “No one needs people in their head all the time, or vice versa.” “What is it, again?” Steve plucked the thing from my hand. “The biggest issue with Ava’s… new skills is the constant input from everyone around her. Think of it like feeling every emotion at once and not knowing why.” Bruce explained. “Really?” Steve looked at me, pity poked at my brain. “Yes. And projecting has got a helluva lot more intense too.” I rubbed my temple. “I forgot, you’ve been gone for a while. Anyway, this will help her keep a straight head when she’s ready to go back into the field..” Bruce looked between the two of us. “I thought you took an office job here.” Steve cocked his head. “I did, but I was a SHIELD agent. I’m kinda a back-up Avenger.” I muttered and put the earpiece in. It blocked the waves of frustration Steve assaulted me with. “Can we go to our room? I need to unpack.” Steve rubbed his face with one hand. - “So…taller, huh?” Steve unzipped his bag and started to sort through things. “I thought the situation needed some humor.” I sat on the bed and leaned back. “I’m sorry I left.” He inhaled. “I need to say that. If that’s why you’re mad at me.” “Mad at you?” I furrowed my brow. “You’re distant.” “No, if you didn’t go I would’ve been mad. It was Bucky before us, if you ignored that what kind of man would you be?” I stood up and stood next to him. “I’m not distant, It’s just awkward.” “When I came back, did you think this would ever be something that we would deal with?” Steve took my spot on the bed. “Science experimentation and your best friend vanishing? Have you forgotten the 40’s, we already dealt with that.” I stood in front of him and put my hands on his shoulders. “Ava, are you ever going to tell me about the vault?” He put his hands on my hips, tilting his head to look at me. “I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Bucky was so…torn up. What ever they did to him, they broke him.” His eyes moved over my face. “How can you be sure you’re okay?” “Babe…they didn’t just run some shit through Bucky’s veins. They rewired him.” I put my hand in his hair. “They tried. I wish I knew where he was.” Steve half-smiled. He stood, his lips pressing to mine and wrapped me in a hug. “I love you, ya know.” He mumbled against my mouth. “I know.” “Meeting in the…meeting area. Do we have a name for it yet? Command center?” Tony’s voice came through the intercom. “Conference room.” I answered, pulling back from Steve. “That’s not good enough. Anyway, come down here.” “Does that intercom turn off?” Steve frowned. “No.” Tony answered. “On our way.” - I was laying on the bed holding a tablet on my bent knees. I went through pictures of a destroyed building, mixed with shots of a young brother and sister. Steve came out of the bathroom, a towel around his waist. “Did you ever get Tony to talk to you?” He asked. “No. This…Wanda, did something like my projection. Only she’s way stronger than I am. I can suggest feelings that bring up memories. She can manipulate a person’s brain into thinking they’re in a situation they’ve never been in. Make them think it’s real.” “Too many enhanced running around these days.” He rubbed his face. “Preaching to the choir. Although, I was here first.” I smirked and put the tablet on my bedside table. I walked over to where Steve was considering sleep pants and he turned with a grin. “Gifted, I think, is the correct term for you. These twins, they sort of came out of nowhere. I don’t think they were even working with HYDRA. But they have one big goddamn grudge with Stark. And the Avengers. They knew we were after the scepter.” Steve’s forehead wrinkled. “Do you realize it’s been like two weeks since you came back and we haven’t fucked?” I grabbed the edge of his towel and he gripped my hands. “Way to change the subject.” Steve nodded. He wrapped me in a hug and lifted me to lay on the bed. I locked my calves over his as he leaned over, pressing kisses to my neck. I pulled the towel away gripped his ass with my nails. He moved a hand and pulled out my earpiece, putting it on the table. I felt the emotions roll over me. His want, his excitement. He pushed the straps of my tank top down. “Not the best idea, everyone in the building is liable to get off on this.” I arched up to him as his mouth met my breasts. “I like when you’re overwhelmed. You writhe like crazy.” He muttered as his lips moved over one nipple. “Oh…God, um, that was before. Keep doing that. I don’t know if I can control…oh fuck it.” I let my head sink into the pillow as he sucked and nibbled. Pleasure was something intense. Like a supernova. It tasted like every delicious thing I had ever eaten. It came in alternating waves and pulses. It drifted into Steve, he was hard and panting. “Fuck, Ava, are you…can-” He stuttered and I shoved my shorts down. Lifting myself so he would enter me. “Hold my wrists.” I panted as he thrust. He made a noise in response and pinned my wrists to the bed by my hips. I gripped the bed sheets as back-up. If being surprised caused electrical fires from my fingers, what would an atomic bomb of a climax do? Steve continued to fuck me, making more animalistic noises than I had ever heard out of him. I concentrated on keeping control. He bit my neck and I gasped, my muscles clenching around him as I came. He pumped his hips faster, my burst of euphoria falling over him. He tilted his head to watch me as he came. My eyes were half lidded, my mouth open as short breaths escaped me. I felt his euphoria and he moved off of me, still gripping my wrists. “I can’t move.” He grumbled in my ear. “I warned you.” I tried to catch my breath. “It’s like-” “When you first came out of the capsule.” I finished for him. “Fuck, yes.”I flexed my hands and he let go, sitting up somewhat unsteady. He looked at where he had been holding me and raised his eyebrow. “Anything broken?” “Adrenaline, it’s a funny thing. I was probably stronger than you when I came.” I stretched my arms behind my head. “What about when I came?” “You were still feeding off of me so let’s just say if Thor and Hulk would’ve been here it would’ve been one hell of a match up.” I went to the bathroom. “I think if Thor and Hulk would’ve been here it would’ve been a very different situation.” Steve followed me. - “Oh, Nat, what was in that?” I asked as I sank into one of the couches. The ‘we found the scepter’ party was winding down. It had been going on for hours and Tony had invited an eclectic mix of people. I saw a nice older veteran being carried out of the party, that seemed to be a signal that the party was over. “Vodka. I’m Russian.” Nat maneuvered herself into a chair and set her beer on the table. Clint came over and sat at the coffee table by her feet, one hand on her knee. She smirked at him and poked him with her foot. Thor came over and set his hammer on the coffee table before settling in to the other couch. Eventually Steve, Tony, Rhodey, Bruce, and Maria all settled around the coffee table. Clint was twirling a drumstick in one hand, then made a move towards Mjolnir. “You won’t be able to lift it.” Thor chuckled. “What’s the trick? Between us Avengers.” Clint smirked and tried to lift the hammer. “Judging you.” Tony tsked at Clint. Everyone laughed and Nat petted Clint’s hair. “You do it then, Master of the Universe Stark.” Clint put his hand on Nat’s leg as he sat back down. “If I win do I get to rule Asgard? Cause I have some changes I’ll be making.” Tony quirked up a corner of his mouth. The next half hour consisted of everyone trying to lift Mjolnir. Even Steve tried, and managed to wiggle it. I’m honestly glad he didn’t. Ruling another realm wasn’t something we needed in our relationship right now. Nat and I declined. The aura around the damn thing gave me a headache. In the end, Thor declared us all unworthy and as we were voicing our displeasure a loud screech echoed in the room. I flinched and covered my ears. It was coming from the wooden doors that led to the hall. The doors blew inward and revealed an Iron Legion suit. Everyone stood, already going into defensive postures. “Stark.” Steve said at my side. “Hey, Jarvis. Reboot, Legionnaire.” Tony’s brow furrowed. “I was asleep…or a-dream. Terrible noise, I was tangled…strings. I killed the other, he was good, it’s a shame. In the real world, we face ugly choices.” The suit looked around at us. Thor asked who sent him. He responded in Tony’s voice, ‘I see a suit of armor around the world’. I looked sharply at Tony, then Bruce. Ultron? Their secret project? I moved my hand up to remove my earpiece, in those few moments all hell broke loose. - “He’s been into everything.” I gritted my teeth as scanned my computer. “All our stuff is gone.” Bruce and Tony were doing the same. We were all in the lab. Ultron had turned the Iron Legion against us and after taking them out, Thor had disposed of Ultron. Well, his body anyway. He was alive and well in the internet. “Into everything?” Steve was fuming. I didn’t need my earpiece out to know that. “Files, surveillance. He knows more about this team than we do.” Nat glanced at Clint and crossed her arms over her chest. “Sure, but what if he goes after something more exciting?” Rhodey raised his eyebrows. “Like nuclear codes.” Maria muttered from where she was tending her wounds. “Wonderful. We need to start making some calls.” Rhodey made a face. “Assuming we can.” “I don’t think nukes are in his plan. He was pretty clear he wanted us dead.” Nat shook her head. “Not dead. Extinct.” Steve leaned over my shoulder, looking at the Project: Rebirth files. Ultron had rifled through. Not to mention the Winter Soldier Program files. “Wait…he said he killed someone. Who else was in the building?” Clint frowned and pushed away from the counter he was leaning on. Tony swung a monitor around. It was JARVIS. I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead. This thing took out our best defense and stole the scepter. I heard the others bickering then felt a rush and swiveled in my chair to find Thor holding Tony by the throat. “Look, Ultron is our objective right now.” Nat tried to break them apart. Steve and Clint attempting to help her. “Ava, little help?” “Um, God rage is a little above my pay grade.” I got up and hurried over to help, popping out my ear piece. I channeled Thor’s anger and was able to pry his hand off Tony. “So tiny.” Thor frowned and flexed his fingers. “You two built this thing. Why is it trying to kill us?” Clint was drinking directly from the coffeepot. I went and grabbed it from him, making a fresh pot. I gritted my teeth as Tony began to laugh. It was nervous laughter, manic. As he reminded the group of the events from New York, with Loki and the Chitauri, I was treated to a highlights reel. Ending with all us dead. I shoved my earpiece back in and turned around, crossing my arms over my chest. “How are you guys going to beat that?” Tony finished. “Together.” Steve stood firm. “We’ll lose.” Tony shrugged. “Then we’ll do that together too.” - “Oh my God.” Our first big break to finding Ultron had lead the team to an arms dealer who had access to vibranium. Maria and I had remained at the tower to keep trying to get the files up and running again. Not to mention oversee the repairs. The team had went to track the dealer down, knowing sooner or later Ultron would show up. He did, along with the Maximoffs. We had lost communication with everyone when the fighting had started. Maria and I were currently staring at the television. We were watching the Hulk and Tony in his special Hulk armor destroy half of a city. “The comms went down, I can’t talk him down.” I gritted my teeth. “Did you call the SRF?” “Yeah, on their way to the scene now.” Maria nodded and went back to talking on the phone. A short while later a connection to the quinjet was established and Tony’s face popped up. “Miss us?” He looked beat. “Jesus, about time. The news is loving you guys.” I sighed. “There’s no official call for Banner to be arrested.” Maria added. “But it’s not too far off.” “Foundation?” Tony asked. “Already there. How are they?” I tried to look behind Tony. “They’re here. But we took a hit. Where you going?” “Maria, send that file to him.” I grabbed a bag and a set of keys before running out the door. - “What is this place?” “The file said safe-house.” I opened the front door to find the team on the porch. Clint was half carrying Natasha. Tony and Thor were gaping at the wide open space around the house. Bruce was staring into the distance. “Hey.” Steve greeted me, trying to keep the shock off his face. “Hey, come in. The caretakers were here a few days ago so the rooms should be fresh. I got groceries on my way here. I turned and gestured for them to follow me. Everyone grouped awkwardly in the living room. “So, do you have a secret family you’ve hidden and this is the idyllic country life you lead?” Tony asked. “Yeah, cause that makes so much sense. I’ve been around for a long time, did some property purchases. I got this place in the 70’s, spent a few months fixing it up. A family up the road maintains it for me.” I went to Natasha and put a hand on her arm. She was dazed, her mind lost in the past. “Authorities are searching for us, this place is not safe.” Thor stepped on a toy the caretakers kid must have left. He nudged it under the chair with his foot. “No one knows about this place. Everything was through a broker, no paper trail. It was a fail safe if I wanted to ghost. How’s your head?” I asked Nat. “Still off.” She leaned into Clint. “Head upstairs. I’ll make some food. Everyone get cleaned up and relax.” I noticed that Thor had gone back to the porch after I assured them it was safe. Steve gave me a look and went after him. Bruce had collapsed onto a couch, his arm draped over his eyes. I patted his foot on my way to the kitchen. Tony followed me. “You considered ghosting?” He asked as I checked on the casserole. “Just, starting over?” “Sometimes. Who doesn’t?” “Probably Nat.” Tony shrugged. “Thor had to leave. I’m gonna go take a shower.” Steve wandered past the kitchen towards the stairs. “I’ll show you.” I turned to Tony. “Peel these.” “Don’t we have people for that?” “No.” I followed Steve up the stairs, he ran his hand over the polished banister. He looked at the pictures along the wall. “When you said you owned property, I didn’t picture this.” He chuckled. “Sort of dated, isn’t it?” “I don’t know, old timey works here. To the left.” I pointed to the master bedroom. “What did you see?” “What?” “Thor saw something bad enough he went back to Asgard. Tony saw something that reinforced his belief that we’re all headed for certain death. Nat saw the Academy. So what did you see?” “Just the ‘what if’s’, the ‘could’ve beens’. The usual. Did you ever wonder what would’ve happened if I did show up at the Stork Club?” “Huh?” “If the plane never crashed. If I showed up.” “If you would’ve proposed to me in front of a cheering crowd that included Bucky?” “How did you know I was going to propose?” “I didn’t, that’s my ‘what if’.” “Did it include a family? Kids?” “I never let it get that far.” “That’s what I saw, Ava. I felt it. You realize if we walked away, we could have that.” “I know we could. But we can’t. You can’t walk away from helping people. And I’m with you. We already discussed this. Our choices were made a long time ago. But that doesn’t mean we can’t still have a life together. If you wanna get married, I’ll ask you right now. I’ll propose to your ass so hard.” I grinned and wrapped my arms around his waist. “Who said romance was dead? No, I don’t think that this is the time. I want it done right.” He kissed my forehead. “I’m not getting down on one knee. Just FYI.” I shrugged and left, closing the door behind me. - “Did you have to call the principal on us?” Tony had been poking around the property and came back into the house with Nick Fury trailing him. “Hey Nick. Just put it over there, Clint.” I nodded my head as Clint set food on the table. I was putting out plates and glasses. “Great timing, dinner is ready.” “I know, I waited until I smelled it to come out. Hey.” Nick gave Nat a pat on the shoulder and shook hands with Steve. “Fair enough. Food first, then strategy.” We had a normal dinner, discussing what we’d all been up to. Over dessert Fury caught us up on everything. Ultron was still after the launch codes, luckily he wasn’t getting anywhere. The internet hub in Oslo said every time he’d get close the codes would change. They had no idea who was doing it. “I’ll take that challenge.” Tony stood from the table and stretched. “I get a rush out of cracking into secret databases, it’s sorta my thing.” “Bruce and I will head back to the lab to prep it.” I sent a message to the caretakers that we would be clearing out tonight. “We’ll get the cradle and meet you at the Tower.” Steve looked around the house once more. It had been nice to be domestic, even for a day. The vision he’d seen was still foremost in his mind, I could tell. It was hard not to think about it. He’d actually seen our kid, what he and I would’ve made together in a less fucked up timeline. “Ava?” “Huh?” I shook my head and turned in my chair to face Bruce. We’d made it back to the Tower and were waiting for the cradle. Everything was ready to stop Ultron from making his new indestructible self. “What op do you think Cho would use?” Bruce was deep into his files. ���Uh, not sure. Ultron is going to want the best. Tony is inbound, let’s ask him.” I rubbed my eyes as Tony strolled in and started to poke around the computer. “Location on Nat.” Clint burst into the room, the cradle on a transport behind him. “Nat?” I frowned and turned back around. I searched for her comm system gps but it was offline. “Any word from Ultron?” Clint asked, pushing the cradle in. “No.” Bruce offered. “Okay, she’s alive then. By the way, this thing is sealed tight as fuck. I’m gonna go cast some nets, find Nat.” Clint banged through the doors and was gone. “I better go with him. Times like this he gets impetuous.” I hurried after Clint who was hitting one of the computers. “I forgot the password.” He explained. “And hitting it is the solution.” I groaned and sat next to him. We worked on it for an hour or so, finding a auditory code being sent from Sokovia. “Nat.” Clint sighed. “And Ultron. Let’s see what progress Tony and Bruce have made.” We walked back towards the lab, pausing when we heard a commotion over head. Through the glass above us we saw Steve had arrived, but he wasn’t alone. “You don’t know what’s in there!” “Is that…the twins?!” I growled. “What the fuck is Steve doing?” I went to rush upstairs and Clint grabbed my arm. “Wait.” He murmured and aimed his gun at the glass, firing. The brother, Pietro, landed on his back in front of us. Clint put a foot on his chest. “Didn’t see that coming, did ya?” Clint smirked. There was sounds of a fight from upstairs and I made it in time to see. Tony battling Steve and the other twin gong after Bruce. “Hey!” I yelled and sent a blast of psy energy at the boys, knocking them back and away from each other. From the corner of my eye I saw Thor fall through the ceiling and land on the cradle, striking it with a bolt of lighting. Everyone fell from the shock wave and moments later Thor was thrown off the cradle as it exploded. - “Ava, you have seen much?” I looked up to find Thor  standing a few feet away from me. “Yeah..too much. Why?” The cradle had exploded and a new life form had come from it. Somehow Jarvis’ consciousness, a piece of the scepter, and Ultron had melded together. It was an incredible being and the key to defeating Ultron. “Have you heard of the Infinity Stones?” “Yeah, I feel like I have.” I made a face. “Legends. Is everyone set to go?” “Yes, we are boarding. I wanted to request a favor of you since I will not be returning after this battle. I will be in contact but please find all you can on these stones.” “Sure. Good luck.” Thor nodded as Steve walked past him. “Hey.” “All set?” Steve asked. “Yeah. I’ll track the situation from here. Try to get some sort of plan for evacuation.” I exhaled. “You’re worried.” “Well, yeah, I wish I could come with you.” “I know, it’s not worth the risk though. This is going to be chaos. Maybe with some more training.” He pushed my hair back over my shoulder. “Be safe Cap.” I went up on my tiptoes to hug him. “We should’ve gotten married.” He mumbled as he hugged me back. “Okay.” I nodded into his shoulder. “Since you asked nicely. When you get back.” - “Fury, you son of a bitch.” I heard Steve over the comms. I almost collapsed with relief. The situation in Sokovia had reached the point of no return. There were going to be mass casualties, I mean, the city was fucking floating. Luckily Fury still had access to a helicarrier and came to save our collective asses. Civilians herded into the carrier, the team made one last push to against Ultron. They managed to contain and dispatch the Iron Legion. While Hulk sent Ultron flying off somewhere. “Man down, get medic ready.” Clint sounded as if he was collapsing under some weight. “How did you not see that coming?” “I was trying to save your ass Bird Boy.” I heard Pietro grumble. “They still hit me!” “Just one.” “Oh, it’s been a long day.” Clint groaned. “Getting med room prepped. Injury status?” I asked. “More holes than we left with.” Clint snarled. “Just put the coffee on and get us home.” - “I gotta say, it’s nice to see trees and not buildings.” I looked out my window at the sprawling lawn. “It reminds me of your safe house.” Nat agreed. Tony had decided the team needed more room, the whole operation moved upstate to a compound. I liked my office, it looked out over a little pond. Tony was on the lawn with Steve and Thor, who was headed back to Asgard. Tony was also considering a break from Avenging, settling down a little. I watched Thor take off and Tony climb into his car before turning to Nat. She was sitting on my desk leafing through papers. “Where’s Clint?” I asked. “I dunno, I think in the weapons level with Pietro. Clint is trying to prove he can hit him with an arrow.” Nat shook her head. “I saw Sam and Rhodey in the armory, too.” I looked up as Steve came into the office. “Shall we?” He gestured. “How do we look?” Nat asked taking the tablet he offered her. “We’re not the ‘27 Yankees.” “Well…who is?” I muttered and Steve slapped my ass as we left the office. We walked behind Nat as she looked through our recruits. “They’re solid.” She hummed in thought. “They are, but they’re not a team.” Steve shrugged. “They will be.” We went through the entryway where everyone had gathered. Rhodey, Sam, Vision, Wanda, and Pietro turned to look as Clint joined us. “Alright Avengers…” Steve smirked.

[throwingideasatthewall]

Clone Wars     Episode 18

         Mystery of a Thousand Moons

 So,    Mystery of a Thousand Moons

Starts   with a really strong quote

   “ A single chance is        a galaxy of hope,”

   And into the episode

    “Hard pressed Jedi,”

      [Shows Ahsoka]

       Ah, mate?            that is one of the biggest Mary Sue’s in the series,           Reason you can’t see her face?            She’s smiling

       Good

       Alright

       Okay

      “ everyone on Naboo would be dead now,”

         .....    

         That         assumes           that           they         would           be         very     unaccountable         and        toxic

    Like,       no      one      they      had       to       blame        but   themselves,       for      that

  Just another boring day saving the universe....

   You did help

   I will give him that

   Obi-Wan did do something        in the previous            Episode

                      A child soldier also had a fight his battles

 But that’s besides the   point

Theed

Pretty sure that’s a war crime

   *Surprised there not taking him to the Galactic government for that

    Whelp

      Virus           Bombs

      Okay...?

      So it didn’t dispose

   So long as you established some mild amount of accountability

    And locked him up

   That shouldn’t be a   problem

  A droid must’ve taken it........

    These episodes never do start off           on the right foot               do they?

      It’s always some hilarious miscarriage of logic                Turning out to be true

Okay, where does this            lead?

      Aight

 Okay, bullshit, movie               You showed that little fucker running away       When     his      shit    was      taken

  Truly doubt he has such specific programming as to ran away when object of your concern has been taken but resume       oper     -ation                     And        Track          A         Vial          That          Could         be       Anyway

     It’s not impossible but it is damn well    unlikely

    So they didn’t destroy these      fuckers

    ??

   Heck

   Whelp

   Bull-shit

    [ You can tell     they didn’t plan this shit        in advanced]

      We saw that little   fecker - there was    nothing in his hands

       Really ret-con        ning

       It’s not worthy of a    sin on its own;       But it’s a damn good way to     piss off your audience!

   Hopefully the episode is         worthy of that             ret-con

       Doomed

 Oh they’re actually         taking him    some what     seriously

 That’s-       A bit      better

 Not  Perfect

  Okay

  Bullshit

   Dude  

    Might’ve        Been         Self-           Destructive           But          he at least had the intell        -igence not to auto-        Mate it-

    Wait,          It       Caused           An        Earth        Quake?        (We did see the security system overreact, so I’m not going to call that one too harshly 

     Also, okay

    Lock down the lab    quarantine those fuckers         And they will be fine    in like five days        (Maybe more if you want to like        pass them some             ibuprofen)

        This is fine

         Safe              room

           This is the place of a mad (unaccoun-         table doctor - who thought killing people was a      good idea-”

    You’re honestly    going to trust the safe       room?

    Better        idea;  get the       fudge out of there

 (And again just toss whoever got sick      some ibuprofen)

   Problem solved

   Seriously

      They          Have           Masks

     They’re         Adults

       They’re            Fine             .....

        Okay,      Padme

   ....

  Okay,  she does have the. thing

   (Not sure if it was in a      previous scene - I wasn’t paying attention    that much)

    Anakin

  Hey, the only character I actually care about is   here!

  (He’s the only one         whose sickness isn’t         his own fault

      Okay

    Yeah sucks      that no one else got those protective suits

      Well at least all the sick guys some    ibuprofen

      (I’ll try to keep the ibuprofen jokes down to a   minimum)

      Ahsoka,  has sealed off the entire    facility

     Cool, pass people down there some food   (and medicine) and wait for it to pass   down

       Droids

       Break out

   You locked down the facility?

  How can the dude unlock it   down?

   Can’t you just-

    No, sit in quar       -antine

     Let the people out      side keep the door shut

      And don’t feck around     with this thing

  “Be    care-ful,”

   No      one        is

   Put this        on

   “You’re bringing the       child?! ‘

     Why?

      He’s - like,               The only one               of you guys can get sick from this thing!

          Aight

         Ahsoka

Oh, yeah   let’s drag the other child soldier into this!

  (Are      you trying to get everyone killed?]

   Seriously

   Droids

   Dude,      Seriously

   Also you asking the “Mad” (Unaccountable!) scientist,        For the antidote?

     Scour on the planet

     You’ll likely find some (medicine) ibuprofen, capable of lessening the side effects, and compatible with their biology

     Rule

     Manufacture a plague

     That’s        really     impossible       unless      everyone         is         an      unaccountable         (Like in order to get that it should’ve killed you too)  

     And (Possibly)  anyone nearby

  Who    wasn’t     Practic      -ing       Account-

Per     son     ally                  Bull-shit

   That      this      works

   “Cure,”

    Stop      poking        the     wound

     Someone wants to fuck around with mother nature and pay the consequences that’s their own prerogative

     So long as you   don’t fuck    around with mother      nature, it         ain’t         Your       Pro      blem

 “Games,”

   So stop dealing with that fucker and go toss the clones some       food

    Or look for some damn     ibuprofen

 (I’m sorry    it’s becoming the      running joke        of this episode)

                                                    Seriously this                                                      guy should be                                                           dead

                                                       Unless                                                            he had a damn good healer on his team

                                                         Whom I respect                                                            immensely, having to deal with the majority of individuals who decide to, “ fuck around and find out,”

                                                       Who decide to say, to mother nature, nah                                                            I got this

                                                         And hold them                                                             accountable

                                                            * having both the ability and mak- ing the decision, to do so

                                                         And that’s feckin  

                                                            Ballsy

                                                         on the other hand whoever                                                 cured this guy clearly wasn’t practicing                                                              accountability,   

                                                     As if mother nature decided this guy was                                                           too stupid to live, you sure                                                           bet he’s not coming back into society 

 *Should

 Kill me now         I sure          wish       they would  

(Un-            Accou           n            -tability) 

unaccountable        freak               of          nature

 “ first droid breaks out of that laboratory,”

  There’s one

  Also well guess    we’re sealing it off till it      dies           Bye       Made,    Man

     Didn’t they say it was eradicated?

    Through the adjacent        herb

    Put in accountability

   There we go

   Problem       solved

   Fastest way to        save

   Again throw a     Tylenol           (Yes I have changed the thing,”

   Find an actual antidote

  Again is there not one?

   Toss the herb  

   Throw them in accountability               Standard              procedure

     Aight

    There they go

    Whelp

   In here

   Thought that was reasonable

   Dead         Man

   You’re wearing masks

   And are adults....

    Again yeet a Tylenol

     Send them to        Accountability

If there’s anything we should be worried about is         Ahsoka

   Yeet her into       stable           environment 

    And....    hope for the best

    Not       sure how badly this would affect someone who can’t assume authority/         (/accountability)

    The best course of action          is just to not let them near that kind of stuff

     I don’t know what kind of        idiot decided against that    

    *unaccountable

    Almost, certainly         the same one that decided to bring the other one           unaccountable

      Into the situation

    Aka our toxic “love birds”   of stupidity

   Stop that droid...

   My master....       Will find a cure        For the      virus

 Wasn’t the cure already found?

 Like,      Everyone’s still alive

  And, we have recollection of it

  (Which wouldn’t be possible...)

   Dead yet

    Yeah          let’s drag her into a virus affected room without any knowledge

    Contaminated

    Again,  these fuckers decided to takeoff       their helmet

    Is there no regulation??

   Like, if they die      it’s on their own screwup

      No sympathy

   *Like I want them to reach a healer and       be held      ac        -countable          If     anyone       can       and      wants         to         is     another     argument      entirely

  Healing       is      not       a   guaranteed     ability

  In    the   direct     line       of   productivity     you   shouldn’t      be    fucking    around     with     things       that      could       get      you     killed       or     mother     nature

 So someone that will heal you from your   own   unaccountable   actions

Is   not     a   guarantee

 Like    with    food     or    water

  Move them away from you for Jesus Christ sake

   Like, seriously

   Neither of you are healers...

   And Ahsoka can’t assume accountability

   Aight,      Back to this      Scene 

   Right,         Okay

   Treachery

   Great...

   Antidote

   I think I found the answer for you

   No shit

   Okay,          the         ....      The captain of the guard doubles as a       healer

    Good for him

    Good to know he has that ability

    Rep        Syrup

   Aight

    Iego?

    ....

  Okay     bullshit     movie

  Compatible         cures           can            only              be             found                on               planets                 with              compatible              eco- ology

           Meaning                the cure              (the best cure)              (Or healer)               Should be              on planet

           Possibly                near                  the                  area

              Point being                     this should be on                     planet

                 And a great chance to show some nice        scenery

                And use the new queen

               And show Amidala reacts to how things have changed since she became senator...

I’m   disappointed

 That’s why most    find-a-cure- missions

 Because why would    planet fuck it have     a cure    for an   incompatible species?

You can’t   just toss    that thing up

 Deep separatist     controlled        space

   Seriously?

    Does    no one have a      greenhouse?

 (Herb     focuses       aren’t     necessary,        but I did figure there’d be one gardening       person!)

   Move cautiously

    Seriously,          Is there           no      Active     Healer        Focus-       Es-      Or    even      a    herb    guy?

 (It’s possible    it’s just really     weird)

 We did see doctors

 I mean.       Why       Can’t         You        Send      One       Of           Them?

      Like the system’s already    enabling

      You’re telling me there’s, not,  like one      neutrally enabled          herb          guy          That isn’t just like               Yeah, dude      what did you get into..?  

        Oh shit, yeah let me throw some reet wood on that, dude

       Again,          Possible

       Just out        of the ordinary

  “There’s no time         for caution,”

    Whoa, whoa, where did that come from?

   NOW he’s scared about      Ahsoka??

 (Like normally       (And I mean normally is in        Ahsoka not being an abomination of nature,        That would be kind of normal        And a reason to       fret, because        We don’t know- if that        kid will survive)

   But-

   It’s really un      earned  

  -Just      Every    where

   No humanity      to any of      this

  “And so is      Padme,”

   Obi-wan         Narrow      -ing      eyebrows

     Seriously?

        Like even by your own rules you should care about your        senator

      This is just   really un-earned

       Like,         You did no part to earn       that,  movie

  You didn’t set up Obi-Wan is a demanding       and/or intimidating individual

  You didn’t set up Anakin as a child following orders and having to correct at said orders/responses

      Or

An adult that is continuing to enable Obi-wan’s behavior

   You haven’t even set up     whatever Anakin/Padme      ‘s relation-ship          is supposed    to be

   You’ve been writing       (and having them            acted)             Like some          alien hybrid        that’s only job         is to be       an asshole

   As such I can’t take any of this with          any bit of seriousness

   The tone struggling on light         unrealistic-ness

     You need some hum       -anity

  Cause those things      aren’t human

  “ it’s a suicide mission     once we contain the virus,”

    Are you     actually going to start doing that?

     Letting them die out             Or              Getting a damn            Healer?

   -troops

   Aight

   Also how deadly is this    thing supposed to be?

   [The thing about healers      that makes them so specific,        There’s A) having access to the plant of       whatever you fecked with        (Having        Herbs on        deck when      you       do)          And the knowledge of which       plant will actually fix the problem   

    (Exclusive to           them.)

    Also,              The willing      -ness]

    Point             Being;         How rare is ibuprofen?

    There are no other medics

    And, you can’t toss them          down some food?

    ....

    Like, seriously

     What are your troops    even doing?

     (They don’t seem to be quarantining!)

     (I concur)

  Seriously,      

   Okay,

   Also, yeah, how’s that awkward car ride going to be?

    ....

What-ever

    No show of Obi-wan as he used to be

   No actual resent-ment from Anakin

         The main reason    most people decide to enable

   Just...        Hey, they’ll be fine!

     (Nothing told]

  “ if we suc       -ceed,”

   Again you set up no     risks-

   This thing could kill them      today or      tomorrow;          I have no idea

      I don’t

     Oh, ok   now there’s other droids!

    [This is getting very        heavily bullshit]

     Also you’re trusting       basically clankers            to open the door?

       Good for    you...

     “How we going to get out?”

     “Not our  problem,”

    Well, there        went any medium         of slight risk

      Neat

   Dude,      cou-      ghing

Seriously,  winner,           of the Darwin award          over here

        (Why?)

       Whelp

        Oh they’re standing right behind the      child      how nice

  My pity is       feckin minimal

    Okay

    We’re right outside your safety room

   Okay, great

     ‘ can you get the door open,’

      Oh, yeah that’s great

   Like not only should we let the     de-adly virus into the room

    Let the vulnerable      child get the door

  Great job         Amidala

  Any other        Babies        You       want         to      murder?

   “ go     ahead       Jar-         jar,”

   Did you ask the      other kid       to do it for you

    Fecking brilliant

      Didn’t even try to see if Rex and their others were wearing the helmet

   Just....    

   Amidala            Trash

   (Where        she      belongs)

    (You cannot convince   me           she isn’t the villain)

    “i’m sorry Ahsoka”

  For     what,     endangering         a     child        (To    possible     death)

    Because that’s the only reason that         she     would       be   apologizing

  Here;      it    makes     no    sense

 “ we still have       a     job      to     do,”

  No you don’t

  You heard the   droids...

   They don’t give a   shit...

   ....

  Emm

  Able

   Oh also now everyone has their      helmet      off

 Winners of the Darwin award,         This Squad

    Now      they’re          on

     Geez, that really    helps...

   ....

  Cutting through the     wall,..

   And now they care....

  This episode    really is setting       a bad       example         For        What       Justifies       Using         A         Ret-        Conn        For         ...     Okay someone’s helmet’s going to get broken...

  Aight

  Ahsoka is just plain      fecking fine

  Good to know that I will never have to worry about       her this entire episode

   Don’t open      that hatch?

    Again,           how?

   They....

  Hmm        ....         Aight

  This

 Grave- yard

  Those are       rocks

  Now their        ship parts...

  Okay

  Simple      Enough...

   No        AA       Guns

 Aight

 alright     don’t       try        to       land     anywhere       subtle

  (Not like in an unidentified ship Landing in the port will raise any    questions)

 (Obi-wan       loves       conflict)

    See?

    You       can’t        not     notice      that

 Every       one       is     down        for    murder

 (Specifically       of        the        roombas)

   Death     roombas

  Anakin

🎵 No emotion 🎵

     None       What-so-ever

  “Welcome to         Iego,”

     Not...    Death     Roombas?

   No          Guns....

  ANAKIN!

.............. ......           WTF

(Anakin’s      an    asshole!)

(Like     I don’t care how they try        to play that off..)

  He’s        Irredeemable

  (Nothing      after this      is surprising)

  Like      they could’ve been     sentient

  And regardless      wrecking someone’s shit  (that isn’t made for practice exercises)

   (More then       five times!)

      Toxic...       Beyond redemption

      (Or anything else besides accountability...      ..)

    Not relatable

   Dick move

  Seven       Teen

 I don’t think   they were battle droids mate

I think they were just automated      welcome

  Anakin destroyed someone’s prized  welcome droids

  That they may just to make people..     happy

  There isn’t exactly a rule about property ownership...            Wait, yes there is...

   Don’t be a      dick!

   (Don’t be a              dick!!)

   (You can’t kick them from       society for it...)

    But...you can bar them from your place

   Not cool...

   Dick

   “18, actually,”

    Shut up.

    J.Bo

    Probably         the       owner         of        the   establishment       you       just     trashed...

   Dick....

  Droids...

   He has      a point

   Not a        Kid

   Really...     has       gone        off        the          deep      end 

   Rash

   No        ...

  Well     a screw in my brain has clearly come loose....

  We already have one badly written      child   character

  Two    in    doubt

  And    now    this..

 Hm    

If you don’t want to write decent child characters      don’t         write     them

 (And      I     mean         don’t       write                               them,         Child       Characters)

   Write          adults    

   (And      I      mean          do           it      properly,       Don’t          childify                Them

    And pretend          like they aren’t        accountable          for their          actions               ......         As              you            can           tell              I’ve            gone            to         some          thing           of             a             Tranquil         fury             state               Now       paying attention        after     Anakin     screwed         with           a        bunch               of      dude’s             property           .......     But there’s really nothing on screen to justify it

    Do        you     know       what    would’ve     been     better?

    If Anakin had actually run into a semi accountable adult, Who bought him from his establishment under said reasons, and that was the core conflict, with Obi-Wan talking to the owner,              And Anakin left to contemplate his action

     Possibly deciding to fix the droids,                  Not out of any attempt             for forgiveness,

     But just because

     Showing            the          realization of the effort it takes to                                                             make                                                           something

       Or        possibly      deciding             to        destroy         them         more

   Showing        his       shift       from        his           original        state

   Possibly         some        resentment          towards          his         origin

      And..  how a good thought can be twisted it into a          bad action

  Children         aren’t        spoiled

   They repeat actions         they have            have been            ordered          to       repeat

    The giving of initiative          to this child

    Makes me       worried that       writers are      victim blaming         Children

 And a popular ‘look at this spoiled brat, he’s clearly responsible for his condition,’ ‘Isn’t that funny’ attempt to dodge responsibility, when in reality it has never been funny, always toxic, And it says nothing good about the medium or the writer who decided to write it 

 Even writers to attempt to mock this trope, Are in thin leniency,     

Because       the     only     way      to    stop    seeing      this      Trope,        is        to      stop      writing         it

    So        it      can      die

  Where       writing         like       that     belongs

   You        know      what     would         be      interesting?

    And adult character      written       like         that

   (Because         adults         are       actually       capable          of         malician

     Unlike       children

     Much          more       realistic

     Much         funnier         for      everyone        involved

 (Including       the      audience)

    And    without       that      pesky    concern that         enabling (and encouraging) the thoughts that children are capable of     malacian              And should be held to the same    standard               Is      Morally        Wrong

  Now continuing on with the   story

   “Droll,”

  That..     Poor      Droid

   Planet

 [you know it would make a lot more sense for him       to be here alone         If he was an adult

    And for “Droll”          , to leave a rich millionaire         on an uncharted planet            Alone.                 ......    

   Continuing            on...

     ....

[you are here         how child        who shouldn’t        be capable          of intuitive]

     50 tried         50 died

       How long have you been around to          see that          happen?

       Droll

       Why?

       You         have           to         get          a        plant

     Nothing           About

    [also how much cooler do you think it would’ve been if those have been   child soldiers and this was an adult just cautiously,         No caution - referen         -ing          How       they         died        like        a      sporting       event?

 Possibly showing Obi-wan’s        enabling side?

    Instead of        this      monstrosity?

    Ok,        we’re      here      now

  Don’t know where     those things came from since they just defeated      the battalion      before hand

  Okay

      Alright

    No        Risk

  ....

  [Some   -one      gave       the       child            a         gun...

      !

   Okay

    What            The          Fuck

     You         put        those       eyebags          of     “sickness”          back        where         they         belong        movie

     You’re        (Your)    Mary Sue        didn’t         earn        them

     And      showed         no       signs      before

   While soldiers in almost         complete armor were coughing up their lungs

    Senator’s         Screw-ed

     Show         off       those      eye-bags          of         death        now       movie 

     they       weren’t        there        before

     Anyway                .....

       ......

       Don’t             Care

        (Skip)

       (Emotionally!)

         Look              Fine

         Back             Here

         Why?

         Why             are             they              on               a             cliff?

          Movie,                you              didn’t               explain            anything

         Something                    .....                 Roots

           Vine

           Plants              don’t                 like                  it

[do you know this would be a normally philanthropic gesture, from someone ( an adult,) who seemed otherwise un-interested and     enabling of a bad situation

Here        It’s       Just                  🖕

  (Dropped          it)

      On          my       way         to       find        my    decreasing-

     Oh       there         it         is        at       the    absolute    bottom

 Because        I     don’t         give      a        shit-

 Teeth

  There’s no teeth there      animators

    Xandu

    Great

     That

      He        found         one

     Hope              on

     Whelp           (        )

      Good             Idea

        It Wasn’t

        ...

       We’re  back to the hatch

   Why

  Okay

   How do you know where they are   

how do you know there’s more

  Lots   of things being skipped over

  And I don’t have the time       to format them

 (Nor the patience...

    Okay

    Really       risking        it

    Argh

    Don’t.     Care

   Alright

    Yes   

Surprisingly

  Despite       all     logic

  🖕        This

  How    Specific      are       they

   ...

  What?

   What       was         I   supposed       to      get     there     animators?        (Or       voice       actors)

   .....

   Hm

  They didn’t hit the...

   Wtf?

   Okay

    Again why are the teeth     doing the thing??

  No explanation

   “Hurry,”

      It’s           Bed          Rock

      Screw            Cure

      “You             Made               It”

         Again            could’ve             been                  a              cute            moment                 .....            Instead

           Well                 Spice

            So                he’s not alone

             (Also how    with that supposedly big threat?

              That’s             supposedly             devastated                 several                ships

             Also      so his parents were some old time             Mogul

         What a been nice to have an adult             voice this

           Using the back water               as a justification

            Here;                   It’s just                nothing

              Left

              Can’t                 leave                   because                   of                   the                  cur(ve)

                Nice                 justification

                Would be nice if it came out of an actual adult

                  Instead of this walking horror        abomination of nature

                  Curse

Okay, movie    

you might have me back

Does the curse

 Possibly revert

 Him

  To a younger age?

   Cursed?

   Any one     going to explain that

    Cursed by who my    twitchy friend?

     No start with a          “what is the curse              ?”

     Droll

   “A Ghost?”

   Shut up Anakin    

There are       force ghosts

  Also- seriously

  We’re mashing            those         two tropes?

     Also why do you       care?

    You      have      people        to      save

   You      have        time         for      weird      curse        bullshi-         (Sorry          too       ag-   gressive)                Later

   Now          is       not       the       time...

    You      know       what?  

    Maybe         it         is-

    BECAUSE       THE       STORY        HASN’T      CLARIFIED         ANYTH-

        I         am         very          angry          at           the        story        right        now

    Mainly               For~

    Anyway .....       .......       Our          Protector

     Don’t fuck around with   magic

        Specifically                Luck

         Because it    wouldn’t exist if people are accountable

          And             the            world            does             not            deal            with          slackers            lately

       (Trust             me               I            know)

         Destroy              all

          Not very specific

          Also    what’s that curse about then?

         Cause             you’re              still              alive

       “Super-stition,”

          Obi-Wan                said               language

              Also Obi-Wan your Council turns into force - ghosts

            You, shut the fuck up                   (Lightly]

               Okay

    That proves     literally nothing

  Also “friend”,       He’s        severely      older than you

   Also I guarantee it’s going to be like an       AA tower or something

 Something explainable

  (Not a bad thing      it’s actually a pretty good thing on logic)

   Just saying   a lot of jumped beliefs

  And the kids shouldn’t care about it

 At most,  trained      to wince at it’s name

    Okay...

   Whatever old man,-

    Let’s go fight that monster

  (Or AA tower)

  Or whatever   it is

 Okay

  Taken as a   challenge

  Alright

 Okay

 Seriously    what is Droll??

   Aight          Okay

   “ blew up those   ships,”

   Besides an        electromagnetic          field             And their own incompetency?

      Okay

      Real we can handle

    Yeah

   Unless it requires him to be an     actual adult..

    Too bad    I really like those guys

     Children           can’t         Li-

   What-ever

[ How long till they crash?]

     Help

    More then he should be able to

    Kid

   The only acknowledgment of something that shouldn’t      exist

   Aka..

   THAT’S NOT A FUCKING, KID!

         Aka, it’s an abomination             of fucking nature!

                                     That’s                                         what                                           it is!

             Al-right

 Give him the com?

  And that’s when it hits him...

Like    I’m   100%   betting     (Not     Act-ually)       That       the       kid        is        “behind”.       it

   Aka        Shit   happens      right      after          he      asked  

   Meant          to          be      (dramatic)        irony

      But comes across as a kid          pulling the strings

   Okay,

    Not Gonna notice     that?

    Oh now you do

   What is it

    Okay,          how do they not know that’s what that is?

 Also, only for people going out

     Weird Separtist flex but Okay

So what       next?

   No

  Turn the ship around

  That - would be a good idea

  Destroy the-      satellite-

   Aight-

   Anakin, sees your odds-  

   And decides- 

   fuck yes you have a point

    Turn around

    Turn around

    Tell those guys what happened

     (Also all those previous       pilots just did not give a fuck!)

    Screw with the satellite!

    ....

   Leaving the planet

   Weird

   Again, weird flex

   ... But okay

     Back

  ‘They decide (not) to wear the shield like an idiot...’

   ‘Muddled crowd displeasure before dispersing’

      ‘wanted to hear squash’

        Some guy

        *some            separtist              guy

    Like all the adults know what’s going down in the circumstance and just decide to fuck with the foreigner

“Master,”

  Asoka   calling    her    mom

    Also no movie you can’t make me feel bad for               Ahsoka

       Amplify           the          signal

       How?

      Aight

 “Destroyed      all the droids    in the compound,”

   Oh yeah so now you know the    exact number

  Also, hey Amidala,         Do you want to talk about how you       scripted a child       (Out of the safety*            Of the chamber,)

    To fight your damn battle?

   No one’s going to bring up that          unfortunate implication?

  That’s not a mood killer            for you?

         ........          Open this           bunker....

        Why?

      Seriously

       The bunker...    Is not that serious a deal

        Seriously they were acting like this thing stays          infectious             for           forever

          Like it has infinite viability

         Also what about food and water?

       What about medicine?

  What about....

 Er...

Goodbye Aniken

I’m sorry   child killer   was I supposed to sympathize with you?

Because I don’t

Also, ‘goodbye’?

From cutting the com?

 Because literally   nothing else has been established about it?

  Heck Ahsoka’s been running around with no protection and           is not dead

  So clearly not that big of a deal

  Like     she’s got a light cough      (And heavily developed eyebags somehow)

.......

No seriously

   All she did was cut the com so       she could get some rest

  That’s....literally all that seems to be established

    (Yeah,        I know they’re trying to imply that she’s dying

    But you need to establish-)

   Power converter

   How is that going to help?

  “slow down Anakin,”

  Again maybe he can      maybe he can’t

     Literally nothing

   Or possibly been a good establishing moment       about Obi-Wan’s enabling tendency       (And disregard for human      life,)

    Or Anakin fighting against enabling          (Or the urge to         enable)

      But nothing

    “ they’re dying,”

   Or have a light cough       and want to take a nap

        Seriously      slow down you psycho

       “Two steps back,”

       Um, no

   Like,         this could’ve been a good moment

  About,        how Obi-Wan is trying to get him to enable or outright screw over the next generation

    Trying            to         stall         him             Under the guise        of helpful        advice

But there’s just    nothing

“Will to jump,”

  No, it     requires       the    personal    Account         ability      and      respect       (Of    yourself)       Mixed      with       the    sentience,     development        and       most         importantly,        Actualization             Of            An            Adult

    Which        the       tone        refuses         to      commit           to

    The conversation being as compelling as between two anthropomorphized blobs

   Refusing           to          Hold         Anakin       Accountable           For          His         Actions

                              While                                Obi-wan                                     is                                    also                                    let                                   off                                  too                                    light

[We    need      a      lot     more     mother      Gothal       and      less     kicked        puppy      dog)

   As     well      as    internal   struggle

(Obi-wan        is       not       the      hero       in      this         one,        Movie)

    There            is         no        good       enabler

  “At   least        hear        me     out        on    this,”

Yeah     listen      to     the   narcissist.           (One      who       is    completely       ok      with     child   grooming.)

 (Multiple   occasions)

  Citizens       of         a       Llego

  Oh so you have time for a     committee!       (This       is      why      you     don’t     trust      an   enabler (narc)     with      the     plans:

  They      are       far     more   interested       in     getting     approval          (For   themselves!)     then     actually      fixing         the     problem

   This       is       why         we      have       the      rule       of      five

   So    some    asshole     doesn’t      slow     down   productivity    (among      other     things)       because       they       can’t       get      over      their      ego

  (Or     the     benefit       of    humanity      over   themselves)

   All the adults already know this thing      isn’t a ghost

  And all the     kids can’t help    and shouldn’t be involved

  This is literally     just an ego trip      for Obi-Wan

  Nonsense

  And this dude

  Who clearly       Must’ve been      Alive 

  Or at least knowingly decided to spew this bullshit

 Because no one‘s first thought is the supernatural

(Seriously)

 (Who even bothers thinking about      that?)

  (When you have a life to live)

   (No hate)

 Just there’s plenty of time to contemplate     death

   (Don’t know why anyone would want to)

  Without, you know, screwing up everyone   else

   (Mostly)

Seriously, just don’t argue with    narcs

  Just send them to accountability        (Be accountable yourself)

    Okay

    Angels

    Shiny

    What

     WTF

    Why

    What         is     occurring.?           .....    

   Stole       our     moon

    ?

 Also   seriously?

   Is it really time for        prehistoric       chatter         about the long list of tox and baggage these guys have         accumulated?

     You know where the problem is, you know it’s probably uninhabited           (This place looks       pretty damn ancient)

      So, just...

    Look I know why Obi-Wan isn’t doing it...         But seriously a waste of time for Skywalker to be        you know   fighting his inner demons          About      enabling        this      bullshit

     As          an     adult

 Which      he       is     written      as

  With     actualization

 [              ]

  Long      sigh

  Minus        Prime

 Seriously       do      we     have     time      for      this?

   Also what about that some thing another guy

   Valley

   Down       The        Thing

   Nobody       ever      goes      that     way

 Now on a different   planet        ....      What

Milius     Prime          .......

Vulture    droids ........

Why?       .......

Don’t we have?

Argh      ....... 

my brain is honestly pretty fried at this point

That’s -  that’s   too many details

    ... most of them   irrelevant

 Remote    control

  Please...       Wrap            it       up

   Okay

  Alright

What-ever

  Just...   get it over with

  Lazar     Admitter        .....        Wait, what?

 When was a        laser admitter        Brought         Up?

   What          About         The         Milius...

  Why...

(I fecking hate             Literary           (And plot)      Littering

    Good       stories         live          by       Chekov’s              Gun

     Die          by       the    accountability      scale

   Which by     if two people die         then   two people must live        (Be born)

 And that gun        better be    feckin fired

Because that     information     takes up     valuable      space

  We were         Introduced           To the      Forbidden            Path       Thing... A while     ago

   On      the     same     planet

 (Supposedly   somewhere        in          the      distance)

 Now we’re    about to leave the planet..

 Where’s the      gun shot....?

   Seriously what’s in the distance?

  Oh   so there’s somehow water

   Also   everyone just fecking around

    Great,        I care about none of these characters

      Except            the          Baby

     [Where’s          Jar-Jar?]

      Aight

     What           a        waste

    Completely          their          own          fault

      And          yours’

     Child       killer!            (Or guess only     Asoka directly,)

        And dragged     Jar jar into the situation

        Like this is completely her      own fault

    “Born to do,”

    I’m sorry were you going for an actually serious     moment?

    Like that was actually a surprisingly     self-aware moment

    Shame we don’t know if that guy is dead

  Or anything   about the situation      That would      make it     even the      tiniest bit      stressful          .......     

    The scene and everything I think it’s trying to      go for

     Nah

    You didn’t earn it         .....

“Sacrifice,”

 Again, so he’s dead now??

  Seriously, what

 Who was that?

 How?

 How long?

???????         ??

  You       are      bad        at     setting        up        a        story

[The who what where are changes on a feckin dime

The risks,      as such,      Are   non-existent

And no idea

What the heck is going    on

[besides a basic blueprint    of what I think the writers are trying to pull]

 [from past experience]

 (They literally didn’t set up anything)

  (Anything)

   (What-so-ever)

    Must      believe

      Must believe in     feckin what?

      Padme told him not to open the   door

     (For fuck all reason)        

     ....

     .......

    What am I supposed to feel?

    It’s literally no odds

   No established risk...

   “Ahsoka!”

   Oh, she fell asleep 

    Feckin drama queen

Also you   

you did that

Good job      “Amidala”              The feckin       child killer               .....

  Argh

   Whelp

   Back to these frickers fricking around

Really     increases      the    feeling       of      those    nonexistent      odds

   As     well        as        the   completely   non-consistent     pacing       ...

Great

Okay

Just get it over with....

 What...

 Who things don’t look like what we saw   before...

Heck, they don’t even look like   vultures

“Vulture,”

 Alright

[Rolls-         Eyes]

 This works

   Okay...

   Aight

  Yeah       no

   Okay,          Guys..

    Aight

   Could’ve been out of satellite distance

    Kid

   Droids

   .....

 What-ever    

   ....

  Why are they celebrating?

  They don’t know shit happened

[or maybe they do]

I don’t have the energy to bother with   narc logic

Just let it end...

Aight

“That you’re-

 Dude     wrong clip      wrong order   

  ....

Aight

Okay

Yeah     Sure

Okay

Oh so now they can open the door?.

“Padme,”

  Aniken you are not a healer

  Your a herb-getter at most

   Oh so you have a very important person apparently didn’t have any      medical resources up to this point

   Kinda bull

   Opens eyes        [Not Romantic]

   That’s bullshit

  “I spoke with the medical droid,”

   Would’ve been nice to          see that

  Also, oh yeah well I was arguing     semantics about whether or not they had a healer  

   They totally did

   They could’ve sent it a medical droid

   Avoided did 90% of this bullshit

    Full recovery

    The dude who    hasn’t even gotten the Herbs?

    Or not distributed them?

   “I never lost faith in you,”

    Bull

     And the most stunted line ever

  [which would make sense for a          child soldier.]

     Adult?

       Unlikely

       Debatable

       Dubious

“None of us did,”

 Bull-shit

 And speaking for a lot of people

  That aren’t you

   [Authority         Assume]

   “ where we weren’t so sure,”

     [Show          Don’t tell,]

      “ well you did make it”

    Despite none of this being established

   Like I don’t think     she knew about the cure

   And specifically told you       not to

 [What kind of      tox....]

  Aight

  Okay

  By        the      way           ....    

   “Your padawan was brilliant..”

    The CHILD I recklessly endangered

 Ergh

  Aight

Whatever

   Get it over with

   General        skywalker

     Don’t         Care.

      My        Lady

        That                feckin        endangered            a          child

      [Two]

     Jar-Jar      surprisingly           still         ALIVE            after           that         incident

         I heard you were quite a good child soldier

        And like any other positively over involved groomer...  

          [Like I did with Anakin]

      Can’t resist         the temptation   

     to screw over another generation   

     🖕

  Training 

     AAAhhhh!

     I was just joking!

  Really starting them young      Obi-Won

  [He really can’t- resist

   The urge to drag someone into his     fucking-

        Obi- won                  Is                   A               Narc             Confirmed

          Feck               Him

          Jar-           Jar                is               a               child

            He            should              not              know               how                to               use               any             blaster

           [aka                Gun]

[unfortunately thanks to   Princess Amidala*

* she’s a Senator

*i’m just    very done...

 Aight

“ you did a fantastic job,”

  You did a fantastic job          Nearly dying....     You supposed to be defenseless child

    🖕

*Training

 Grooming

  “Yeah,”

   What?

    That was like a      goofy laugh

  “I probably do deserve,”

  Narc 

Children     can’t     have    attitude

 “But      not       all       of        it,”

  Amidala     also     deserves       credit         for     ordering        you       into      danger

   Padme,          high        five         for     endangering      children

  Seriously       who        is       still    painting      them       as      the     good     guys?

  They’re   Adults

   They-

   ....

[ “Thank you”

    For    fucking    nothing ]

....

 I think I’m going to use my     most repeated comment for           this episode; Not deserved

                             On that                                 subject;

                              It follows the same                                   pattern of the last two                                      Episodes

* One     that       is   constantly    changing,        Just      before        Strike     territory,        For another       formula        that’s          a      different      degree        and       volume       (type)         of    mediocre        and    problematic

     Saving it         from            a         strike           But          not            a       mediocre          episode

       Unfortunately, maybe it’s because it’s the third one to try this, special attention must be drawn to the fact that they have no idea how to do this

     While the bits that are pretty much           prepackaged are fine

       The rest         struggles

  Bringing to light a fundamental unaccountability           In accountability      By disregarding     what made it work in the first place

  And throwing in the trope haphazardly         (With no thought to it’s            (in)conclusion)

     Believing it to be sufficient enough

    Without any of the     necessary set up        Characterization        Or emotion

  With the mystery one, the set- up was erroneous, the “mystery,” rushed and over in 5, with the grace of a good villain

    With this;

    The “set up” doesn’t even get beyond the ground

    Screwing up some of the       key important elements

     - One; The cure’s on planet allowing for some environmental exploration, while maintaining realistic probability

     - Two; The deadline for expiration is explicitly outlined, creating tension

     - Three; The heart, comes for the fact that nobody wants anyone else dead and would rather see them be held accountable, (or live to be held accountable)

     - Fourth; The effects are semi-consistent

     - Fifth (unspoken); children are always vulnerable              (If a adult can survive it- neither can a kid- debatable]

        And also; (Optional) The cure is           seen distributed for a more tangible sense of relief

        You broke three of the five rules

          The three Most important ones

          As such;

          The tone, pacing and tension

            (Never mind the Heart,                     Which I shutter                           to think of,)

                        Flounder                               like                                  a                            (soon-to-be)                               dead                                 fish                                  out                                      of                                     water

If you’re going to do a     pre-established plot 

         Do it            right

  Don’t      cut   corners

    And make it as          manufactured               as           packing           peanuts,

         With              as              much             heart              (Emotional                Value)

[thewoofer]

Review | Ant-Man and the Wasp

After all the fuss over Marvel’s first major female villain in Thor: Ragnarok (2017), the racial intrigue of Black Panther, the absolutely life-draining tragedies that grappled Avengers: Infinity War, it is lovely to once again enjoy an action superhero comedy from which I can leave without having to ponder my life choices. Superhero movies used to be goofy, once upon a time. Now they’re taken more seriously than final exams. Ant-Man and the Wasp is a cheerful reminder that there’s more than enough room for both.

This is the follow-up to 2015’s Ant-Man and it carries along the same energy and charisma that made that film one of the more underrated instalments of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Paul Rudd is once again the titular hero, except this time he has to do his superhero business while under house arrest for his role in the events that destroyed a German airport.

Fighting alongside him is Hope van Dyne (Evangeline Lilly), the formidable daughter of Hank Pym (Michael Douglas), who has taken up the mantle of the Wasp in an attempt to rescue her mother from the Quantum Realm, a dimension so small the bacteria that live there are the size of hippos. Indeed, much of Ant-Man and the Wasp is about the Pyms’ tireless efforts to retrieve their missing beloved, and Lilly and Douglas create quite a dynamic family unit, one that is penetrated with lots of humour by Rudd.

What’s interesting about the screenplay, penned rather surprisingly by five writers, is the way it uses the Pyms’ mission as the foundation for a plot that could have been written by the Coen brothers, except instead of a rug or a briefcase filled with dirty money, all the characters are trying to get their hands on a laboratory that’s been shrunken to the size of a suitcase. Yes, that’s right – a tiny building on wheels.

The lab houses the device the Pyms are building to slingshot them into the Quantum Realm, but there’s also the stylish villain Ghost (Hannah John-Kamen), who suffered a freak accident in her youth and can now slip through matter like, well, a ghost. She needs the lab to find a cure for her condition, and the vile Sonny Burch (Walton Goggins) is after them all because he’s the Bad Guy in a Suit and is required to make life difficult for everybody else.

This clamour of characters sets up some of the movie’s more charming action sequences, as when a car chase in San Francisco comes to a dead halt at the famous Lombard Street, or when a well-designed fight scene in a kitchen involves an oversized salt shaker. One of the many joys about these Ant-Man movies is the kick the filmmakers get from turning small everyday objects into larger-than-life monstrosities, including Ant-Man himself (and in one school scene, the movie gets a lot of mileage out of a shrinking mishap).

There are no real stakes at play here. The universe is not about to end. Social politics are not under scrutiny. Heck, a giant ant plays the drums. And yet Ant-Man and the Wasp is a delightful time, because its cast is well chosen and it uses its comedic traits with great efficiency.

I won’t tell you if Janet (Michelle Pfeiffer), the Pym matriarch, is found, but I enjoyed the urgency with which the plot moves towards her. It all builds up to a hilarious scene in which Rudd and Douglas hold hands, and then a touching one that moved me more than it should have. Goofy and serious, all at the same time.