#like as a reference to corgi quest

[down-with-the-mafia]

For the Halloween doddle requests Snatcher, Hat Kid, and the Subconites all going trick or treating!

(Hat's supposed to be a corgi but I don't think that's clear oops)

[lokischocolatefountain]

Kitten from Hell versus God

Pairing: Loki x OFC

Rating: General

Word count: 2.6K

Summary: A kitten from hell tricks Loki's girlfriend into loving it and worse, getting a pet of their own.

Part I, Part II

A/N: I saw this video of Loki being delighted by a corgi and couldn't resist...

The creature mewled as she played with it, rolling around on the floor just to earn her amused cooing and awwing. The little shit was desperate for attention and Loki stared it down with contempt from behind the newspaper he was pretending to read. She help up a stick that had a string with feathers attached at the bottom. The kitten lifted its paws up as an attempt to catch it, but was too stupid and lacking in reflexes to succeed. Its display of its helplessness elicited more cooing from her. He glared at the kitten from hell, but it stuck his tongue out at him before blinking innocently at his woman. He rolled his eyes at its reprehensible behaviour and looked away from the pair who were too in love with each other to space him any attention. 

Loki had never held as much hatred for such a little thing ever before. He usually hated to see Steven Rogers, but now he was checking the clock every five seconds like a doting wife awaiting the return of her husband from the battlefield. Steven and his boyfriend James Barnes had found the infernal creature in the rubbles after bringing down a hydra base. It lured them into adopting it with its pitiful eyes and soft meows, just like it has enticed his partner into giving it all her precious attention. The men, unfortunately, had been called in to deal with an emergency at the facility. So, his woman volunteered herself to take care of their kitten until they arrived home. 

He checked the clock again. They still had three hours until they would be relieved of their care taking duties. 

“Loki?” 

“Yes, dear?” 

“You can conjure anything with your magic, right?” 

“You know I can. What would you like?” 

“A ball of yarn.” 

“Are you an old woman? Would you like a pair of knitting needles with it?” 

“Oh, shut up.” 

“What are you going to do, knit a sweater for the pathetic creature? Is that what it has hypnotised you into doing next?” 

“I don’t know how to knit. But, I might learn just to knit this baby a sweater. Won’t you look adorable in a sweater, baby boy? And some socks to protect your toe beans.” There it was again, the low pitched voice she used to talk to the kitten as though it was a human offspring. 

“Could you conjure up a laser pointer along with that?” 

He furrowed his eyebrows at the strange request. What was she hoping to accomplish with the objects? He was glad that she wanted to do something other than waste all her energy on the kitten. So, he focused his magic on making the objects she desired and in just a few seconds, he had a laser pointer and a ball of red yarn in his hands. “What would you need the two for?” 

“Just watch,” she said, refusing to answer the questing and left the kitten’s side to fetch the items from him. Without sparing him a glance, she left him for the kitten and gave it the ball of yarn to play with. The creature rolled the yarn between it two paws, delighted in itself for having hoodwinked a fine woman to being its slave. He huffed loudly and returned to reading the newspaper, as boring as it was, to keep him from being further enraged. The creature would be gone within a few hours and he would never have to think about it again. It was not worthy of him picking a fight with her and souring their entire day. 

Time went by and it had managed to foolishly tangle itself in the yarn. She pitied it and untangled its tiny body, freeing it from its woollen confines. The idiot had not seemed to have learned anything from its traumatic experience with the yarn and immediately grasped it again, but was pulled away by her. The laser pen was the next to come out and Loki peeped at them from being the newspaper again, curious about what she was going to do. 

She turned the laser pointer on and focused it away from the yarn, immediately attracting the the kitten’s attention with the red light. It stopped wriggling in her arms and looked at the light with curiosity. She let it be free from her arms and the kitten ran towards the wall to catch the red dot. It jumped up to touch it, but was confused as the dot was now on its paw, not underneath it on the wall. She moved it again, now to the floor, and it followed to capture the taunting dot, but was again unsuccessful as she moved it away from its clutches. Now, this was fun… Better than giving it a ball of yarn to wrap around itself…

“You are torturing a poor, helpless creature with an illusion.” 

“Torture? Chill, I’m just playing with him. He likes it!” He!? Since when had the kitten graduated from it to he?

“No, it has mistaken the dot for prey and hence worthy of hunting and consuming.” 

“I don’t get why you suddenly care so much,” she said, still moving the laser pointer around to entertain the cat. This was it. It was over. His love had been lost forever to a four legged creature and he might never have her back again. Before he could dissolve into a puddle of self-pity, the doorbell rang. He sat up straight and rushed to the door, praying to the Norns that it was the couple who owned the cat. Sure enough, it was them. He opened the door and they stepped in, looking quite tired from the day of work. 

The men greeted the two of them and inquired about the creature’s behaviour. Uninterested in picking a fight and in a hurry to get them out, he spun lies about how well behaved their animal was. He added colourful words and waxed poetic about the magnificence of the creature in a way he had never spoken of anyone- not even his beloved. 

She offered to make the men dinner, but the two declined graciously before they left with their kitten. 

A week later, Loki was forced to realise that he had been lulled into a false sense of security about the effect the kitten had on his girlfriend. He believed it all to be over. Since that dreadful day, she hadn’t even seen the kitten- who had now been given the name ‘Fuzzy von Fluffykins’- as the men had found a sitter for it. But, Fluffykins’ spell hadn’t vanished as was evident from her words. 

He put down the book on World War II and looked up at her, doubting whether he heard her right. “You wish to have a familiar?” 

“No, that’s not- I’m not a witch, Loki. I’m getting a pet.” 

“A pet? A familiar, I understand. But, a pet? That would just be a useless creature. It would hang around you apartment and do nothing all day long.” 

“Just like you, then,” she snapped at him, stuffing her purse in her larger purse. She could fit her entire apartment in that thing. A least he had his pocket dimension for storage.  

“I do the dishes!” 

“You order the staff to do the dishes, Loki. You don’t even go near the sink.” 

“I get it done. What do you expect me to do, wash them myself? I am a Prince.” 

“Spoilt prince,” she muttered as she prepared to leave.  

He was annoyed that she would want to have some little animal around in the apartment they lived in together. He saw no point in them owning an animal. It was purchased only by parents who wanted to teach their children the bitter truth about mortality. And to fill a person shaped void in one’s heart. Was his companionship not adequate for her? Was he so dull that she sought an animal companion to charm her? 

In a flash of jealousy, he followed her out of their apartment, determined to influence her decision. If she was to introduce a new member into their shared space, he would at least ensure that it was worthy of them. 

“I am accompanying you.” 

“I can’t stop you, can I?” 

______________________________________________

They arrived at an animal shelter and Loki had been unsuccessful so far in talking her out of it. He listed every disadvantage he knew on pet ownership. She had perfectly refuted every single one of them. He had used every weapon in his arsenal and was now clueless as to how he would stop her. So, he just followed her into the shelter.

They were greeted by a scraggly, over-enthusiastic teenager when they entered. His voice was as annoying as Fluffykins’ mewls if not worse. Controlling his urge to insult him, he just followed his girlfriend around as she stroked a rabbit who was merrily munching away on lettuce in its cage. 

“When I was seven, my cousin had a rabbit just like this one.” She helped it out by moving the lettuce in the corner of the cage closer to its mouth. It paid her little attention before it went to town on the lettuce as though it had been starved for days. Even bilgesnipes did not eat so quickly. “But, I was not allowed to play with Bun-Bun. I’m very close to adopting this one just to rub it in her face.” 

“I was not aware you had a cousin named Bun-Bun.” 

“I couldn’t have been more clearly referring to the rabbit, babe. The cousin was Karen.” 

His nose crinkled in disgust at the thought of that woman. He had the misfortune of meeting her at the last family Chistmas dinner and had to keep from throwing her out of the window. “Karen? Oh, she is dreadful. The two of you are so different, I can hardly believe the two of you are related.” 

“You are Thor are related and nothing alike.” 

“I was adopted.” 

She rolled her eyes at him and went back to petting the Bun-Bun celebrity look-alike. “Anyway, she was dreadful even back then. She didn’t let me play with her rabbit because she knew how much I wanted a pet.” 

“You could have gotten your own rabbit instead.” 

“No, my parents thought they were useless.” 

“Because they are, my dear.” 

“Oh, piss off. I couldn’t get a dog either because my dad was allergic. And cats were a huge no because my mom was a dog person who strongly believed cats were evil.” 

“Correct, again.” 

“Everyone I knew had a pet, but I could never have one. I told myself I would get one after I moved out. But, when I started college, I realised I couldn’t even raise myself, let alone another life. Then, I got recruited by SHIELD and became too busy even for myself. So, it has always been a distant dream. With my promotion, however, I have more free time and I am grown enough to be responsible for one.” 

His heart melted as he imagined his girlfriend, little and jealous of her mean cousin who had a rabbit. He imagined her in pigtails as he saw her in an old family picture on her parents’ fireplace mantle, dimpled cheeks and pouty lips. He did not want to ruin her longtime dream of having a pet just because he was a little annoyed of a kitten from hell. Sure, the creature they adopt would steal away a fraction of the attention she gave him, but it was worth it if her wishes were fulfilled. It would be unfair and cowardly of him to eliminate competition altogether, just like monopolies prevalent in capitalism. He would not stoop as low as Amazon of all things. So, he gave up his pursuit and stayed quiet as she stopped by every pet from hamsters to lizards. What was even the point of them!? Doesn’t matter. She wanted one and he would help her out with it. 

He walked along the dog enclosures and observed each one, trying to identify the species they belonged to. So far, he had seen Golden Retrievers (who were like his brother in form and behaviour), German Shepherds, Pitbulls, French bulldogs, Rottweilers, and even learned of a new kind called Chihuahua. Its size was inversely proportional to the rage it contained. He never stopped too long to observe any of them, but that changed when he saw a short one with unusually shaped ears. 

When he asked the employee about it, he was informed that she was a Corgi, a breed favoured by the monarch of United Kingdom. 

He stood knelt down in front of the cage and observed the Corgi as she played with a toy. She spun around in her position, attracting and sustaining his attention. It seemed that she had taken a liking to him. Noticing this, another employee at the store opened her cage. The puppy enthusiastically leaped out and into his arms, barking at him and showing him how wonderful she was at playing with a ball. She quickly climbed off his lap and ran in circles around him. He had to turn his head rapidly from one position to the other just to keep up with her movements. Her tail was inconspicuously small and she had the cutest little butt!

Oh, what a joy she was! 

Loki couldn’t recall the last time he smiled so much over something as trivial as this. 

She fell over in front of him and showed him her belly, asking to be pet. He pet her belly, bring both the puppy and himself a lot of joy. He was so distracted that he didn’t even notice his girlfriend standing by him, observing them with a huge smile on her face. 

“Having fun?” She asked, snapping a picture of him as he looked at her phone. 

“No, just biding time,” he said as he quickly rose from the floor, embarrassed to be found in such a position. He laughed awkwardly and scratched the back of his neck as he thought of a way to escape being teased. 

“Loki, do you like the Corgi?” 

She had an endearing smile on her face, very similar to the one Fluffykins inspired in her. 

“Yes, she is quite adorable and terribly fluffy. Not as much as the rabbit by the entrance. We could get the rabbit, invite Karen for dinner. I’ll cook,” he offered, already a little dejected that he would never see the Corgi ever again. “Not the rabbit. I will cook food. Food that doesn’t include a rabbit,” he quickly added. 

The creature had already begun pawing his shoes for attention and it took every ounce of his will power to not bend down and lift her up and into his arms. He would not let his few minutes of infatuation with a puppy overshadow her decades of desire for a pet. 

“Yeah, it was very clear that you weren’t going to cook the rabbit, Lokes.” 

“Yeah, I don’t know why I said that.” 

She gasped and dramatically clutched her chest. “Wow, that’s the second time. You usually don’t use contractions. You love the Corgi so much that your mouth is out of control.”

“It slipped!” 

“Aww, baby. Lets get the Corgi. She’s so cute and you’re so cute with her.” 

“Really? But what about getting a rabbit and rubbing it in Karen’s face?” 

“Oh, screw her,” she said dismissively. “I really wanted a pet and both of us like this one,” she said looking down at the puppy with her sparkling joyous eyes. He finally bent down to pick up the Corgi, filled with joy as she barked. When she kissed him, his lips were stretched out in a wide grin and couldn’t even kiss her back properly. She left God and puppy behind to take care of paperwork as the two played with each other, overjoyed to have found love in the other. 

Part II

[phoebehalliwell]

Do you think the next gen kids would have a familiars? What kind of non magical pets do you think they would have?

the way i like to view familiars in general is like. they come to you when you are in a situation where you need guidance, as both like an emotional support animal and as like. y’know a lil guard cat or just some sorta being that offers advice in it’s own lil way, kinda like how kit would hiss at evil, even when the charmed ones couldn’t detect it. so, as the the majority of the next gen have really grown up around magic, and are familiar and comfortable with it, i don’t think any of them have really had familiars yet bc there’s been like no need for such guidance. i think they all might end up with familiars at one point or another after they move out, maybe not like Right Away, but like when they inevitably end up hitting one point of crisis or another.

i think wyatt’s familiar would definitely be a cat, and i think wyatt would give it like a really cutesy and sorta stereotypical cat name like y’know mittens or mochi or mr. whiskers that type of thing. i think his familiar would come to him after you know he’s completed college he’s moved out he’s doing fine he’s a good witch blah blah blah everything’s chill and then like. boom. something’s triggered some sort of crisis of faith or distorted self image where wyatt is just like really scared that maybe him becoming evil is something that destiny wills and there’s no way that he can separate himself from the darkness that is inside of him and one day it’s gonna take hold and it’s gonna be more than he can bear yada yada yada he’s spiraling cat.

it think chris’s familiar would also be a cat and i think chris would give it like a really dumb name low effort like it’s probably just gonna be named cat unless bianca names the cat first (and if bianca names the cat it’s going in two possible directions either she gives the cat like a proper real quasi witchy name like sage or ostara or she names the cat chris jr and chris is like I Am Not Calling The Cat Chris Jr but then finds himself calling the cat chris jr and is just like 😡😡) i’m not sure really when chris would get a familiar clearly i’ve implied he’s with bianca in some manner at this point bc like. chris is a really good witch. like obvi he’s moody and in distress at all hours or whatever but it’s more to do with his personal relationships and less to do with his relationship to the craft, so i don’t think anything in his life really warrants a familiar. however, after he meets bianca i think there’s definitely sorta a shift in his world view bc while she’s a witch too the way she practices and just the basic way she engages w magic / magic engages w her is so distinctly different than anything chris has ever know that now he really just want to know more. like now that he knows there’s more out there he’s invested. also i think the two of them have just like a lot of grand dramatic adventures so the day to day peril level has definitely increase warranting a familiar

for melinda i would actually love to see her familiar be a bird maybe like a bluejay or something idk why i just think it’d be cute esp for a witchlighter and i love the idea of her just sorta whistling tunes and it whistling back and everyone being like lmao alright miss disney princess or whatever 🙄🙄 i think she might actually name the bird after a disney sidekick or something that could be the name of a disney sidekick i think she’s put a lot of effort and thought into the name. i’m not really sure when she would get one like obvi the transition to college would be a good time idk i may or may not write one in i just gave her a new whitelighter for this move so like i don’t think there’s an overwhelming need for a second guide but at the same time the more i think ab it the more i really like the idea of her having this bird

next on the docket i guess is tamora who i actually do have plans for giving a familiar but it wouldn’t be until she moved out bc she presently still lives at home with her parents all that blah blah blah it’s a very comfortable environment with magic sorta just like imbued in the walls all that but when she moves out she’s like what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck very taylor swift’s never grow up verse three energy and i was Also gonna give her a cat bc what can i say i feel like she’s a cat person and i think she might give the cat a person name like lilah or charlie or something

kat on the other hand would probs have a dog as her familiar maybe like a medium sized one like 45lbs if that reference helps and honestly i’m picturing like a pittie or a bull terrier one of those types of dogs bc i think kat is like really stubborn and loyal and i want a stubborn and loyal dog to match also i find those breed adorable. rn i have kat just gallivanting around the world in sorta a quest of personal discovery so while it could warrant a familiar there’s just a lot of travels rn and i feel like it’s not a good like practical situation to have a animal around y’know But she also might be moving again soon and maybe this location will be a bit more permanent so maybe it’s time to bring in a familiar?? hers might also be a shared familiar w a future roommate

okay i’m throwing in an honorary henry jr piece bc he’s not a witch so he doesn’t get a familiar but i think after he moves out he finds a stray dog and brings it in maybe like a lucky/pizza dog situation and he always jokes that the dog is his familiar and he’s probably give it a wiccan name maybe he finds the dog on beltane and names it after the holiday blah blah blah the point is when the times comes for beltane and henry to say goodbye & it’s really sad and all that when henry takes his dog collar home on the back of the nametag he finds and intricately carved triquetra and feels the presence of his dog briefly pass by

okay onto pj pj isn’t actually a horse girl but like emotionally she is if she was raised in like sonoma instead of san francisco her familiar would 100% be a horse. but she lives in the city. so she’s not getting a horse. i also really like the idea or her familiar being a doe but once again. urban living isn’t necessarily compatible with that. so like. cat dog or bird i think. i think i like dog the best but i think more like a playful goofy dog less like kat’s or henry’s and maybe more like a corgi?? and honestly pj would probably name her dog cheddar as i think she’s voted most likely to name things after tv characters

okay i wanna give parker a ferret i wanna give parker a ferret and i want her to know it like rascal or something i have no idea when this ferret would come into play again probs after she moves out but as parker is like 16 i have put little to no brain power in figuring out what her moving out looks like or entails i just like the idea of a squirmy wormy chaos ferret.

snake. look, i really want one of the kids to have a snake as their familiar, and i’ve come to the conclusion that it’s gotta be peyton. i don’t know why, i just feel it in my jellies. and i think peyton would definitely be freaked The Fuck out by the snake suddenly in her apartment but i think she’d end up growing so comfortable around it that she forgets it’s like weird and sometimes people just come over and there’s like a giant ass snake vibing on the kitchen counter and they’re like !!!! and she’s like oh yeah meet like rupert or bartholomew or some other name that just feels like really old or something

as far as non-magical pets, i think piper’s family would be mostly like to have one (i think probably a dog) as not only do they just like feel like a family that would have a pet they’re also the only ones who live in A House (i personally picture both paige and phoebe’s families living in like apartments like not Apartment Apartments but y’know it’s like a singular floor is yours and it looks like a proper house it’s just like a whole bunch of them stack on top of each other y’know the point being they don’t necessarily lend themselves to pets). i think second most likely to have pets is paige & henry’s family bc i feel like henry would be the type of guy to have always wanted a dog bc like given his whole situation growing up in the system being a foster kids bouncing around from place to place never really feeling like he had a family or home so like a sign of stability and finality and comfort and all that to him would be having a pet. and he strikes me as a dog person. phoebe and coop win least likely to have a pet if they did it’d probably be a cat just bc i feel like phoebe didn’t really grow up with pets and coop didn’t grow up at all really so it wasn’t really something that crossed their minds however if the girls brought it up and like begged for a pet i think they’d be game

also you didn’t ask but i am writing a dency story and she does have a familiar it’s a cat he lives with her & her roommate his name is bozo and he only has one eye

[theonyxpath]

As part of our continuing Character Creation series, Bill returns to discuss Pugmire.

I love the concept of creating an anthropomorphic dog in a post-apocalyptic, D&D-like setting, and am looking forward to the chance to play Pugmire. Since I wrote part of the Pan’s Guide For New Pioneers, I was already familiar with the rules, but I wanted to create a character for my upcoming game.

Step One: Choose a Calling

First order of business: what kind of job does my dog have? Pages 41-53 of the Pugmire Core Rulebook describe the Callings—think character classes from D&D—and gives six examples of character types for each. Since I often play fighter types, I opt to build a mage this time and choose the Artisan Class. To be an Artisan is to unlock the secrets of the Old Ones through masterwork relics. Then, once a dog finds their focus, they use that knowledge to create miraculous effects.

Step Two: Choose a Breed

If you’ve spent time with dogs like I have, you probably have a favorite breed (or two). I love Dachshunds—especially the way their foreheads wrinkle up when they’re concerned about something. I also love Corgis, Pugs, Great Danes, Black Labs, Rottweilers, Pitties… Come to think of it I just like dogs, so settling on “a” breed is a challenge. In the end, I decided to pick Corgi, because friends of mine have a pair I adore. Corgis are in the Herder group of dogs and gain a +2 bonus to their Wisdom. Breeds are discussed on pp. 54-61.

Step Three: Choose a Background

Backgrounds in Pugmire, found on pp. 62-63, are an interesting way to add a few skills and a cool backstory. While my dog is interested in the arcane, I don’t want his background to be scholarly or magical in nature. So, I opt for Merchant: that background gives him a few practical skills, some nice equipment, and potential access to a different set of contacts than he would normally have as an Artisan.

Step Four: Assign Ability Scores and Designate Primary Scores

Instead of rolling dice, Pugmire uses an assigned value system for Ability Scores found on pp. 63-66. Players have 15, 14, 13, 12, 10, and 8 to assign to their six Abilities.

As an Artisan, my dog will need to emphasize Intelligence and Charisma as these are his Primary Ability scores. I therefore put my 15 into Intelligence. However, knowing that Artisans aren’t very tough, I opt to give Constitution the second-highest score of 14. This will give him +2 Stamina points and better chances to save against health-related threats. Giving him a Charisma of 13 is a good fit for his Calling. Wrapping things up, I assigned 12 to Dexterity (+1 to Dexterity saving throws), 10 to Strength (no bonus), and 10 to Wisdom (8 +2 from the Herder bonus, for a total of 10). My dog is both intelligent and agile and, thanks to his Breed group, his Wisdom score is not as much of a concern as it’d be if I only had 8.

Step Five: Calculate Ability Modifiers, Choose Skills and Tricks

I’ve already mentioned some of my dog’s Ability Modifiers: +2 to both Intelligence and Constitution; +1 to Charisma and Dexterity, and no bonuses for Strength or Wisdom.

Skills in Pugmire are nicely broken up to make them less intimidating. You choose two Skills from a group customized for your Calling, and you get extra Skills depending on your Background. For Artisans, I’ll choose two from the list on page 43: Handle Animal, Heal, Know Arcana, Know Culture, Know History, Know Nature, Know Religion, Notice, Perform Search, and Sense Motive. Being an Artisan means my dog should be familiar with the arcane, so Know Arcana seems like a no-brainer. I also want my dog to be able to support the other players, so Heal and Notice are two other great options for me. Since I can only pick two total, I’m going with Know Arcana and Heal. Even if there’s a Shepherd from the Church of Man in the party, it never hurts to have extra healing power—life in the wilds can be dangerous! As a Merchant, my dog is also entitled to Bluff and Sense Motive as extra skills per the Merchant Background on page 63. My Skills are: Know Arcana, Heal, Bluff, and Sense Motive.

Tricks provide extra abilities and/or powers, and new Tricks can be earned with experience. Artisans (p. 53) earn the following First Tricks as starting characters: Simple Weapon Aptitude and Light Armor Aptitude. Dogs also gain a Trick as beginning characters based on their Breed (p. 57), so I get Keen Observer for that, which gives my dog advantage in all Wisdom checks relating to sight, hearing, or smell. I also gain the Odds and Ends Trick for my Background (p. 63).

Odds and Ends gives my character an advantage to Wisdom checks when I need to find out if I have exactly what a potential client or customer needs. I may also spend fortune to declare a new, non-player character is my former customer, and I trade with them on friendly—or at least non-hostile—terms. I really like how advantage gives my character an edge without breaking the game. It still all boils down to luck, but since I can choose the better of two die rolls, this could help my dog avoid failing in a crucial moment.

My dog also gains either Encouragement or Focus Magic as a Trick for my Artisan Calling. Focus Magic seems like another obvious choice, so that’s what I select. Choosing Focus Magic gives my dog three basic spells to start with—Elemental Ray, Mage Paw, and Smell Magic—for free, plus I can choose two other first-level spells. Magic Missile and Shield seem like good choices: Magic Missile give me a ranged attack AND a magical attack, and Shield gives a +5 bonus to Armor Class. Both will prove useful in town or in the wilderness.

Proficiency Bonus reflects how my dog’s knowledge and experience grows over time. At first-level, all dogs gain a +2 Proficiency Bonus.

Step Six: Choose Equipment

Beginning level characters gain equipment packages tied to both their Calling and Background. Players are then prompted to make additional choices, depending upon the item listed.

For my Artisan Calling, I get a rucksack containing a simple weapon of my choice (quarterstaff, p. 81), a suit of light armor of my choice (leather armor, p. 69), a masterwork artisan focus, a bottle of ink, a pen, some sheets of parchment, and small collection of books.

My dog acquired his masterwork artisan focus in an unusual way. During a trip outside the capital city of Pugmire, my character found a small cylindrical object half-buried in mud by the side of the road. After he dug it out, he noticed a small button-like protrusion on top and lightning bolts stamped into the sides. Over time, this relic became my dog’s reliable focus.

Next, I’ll add a set of scales, a fine set of clothes, and some plastic coins from my Merchant Background to round out my starting equipment. In Pugmire, the money characters have is listed in their Backgrounds. The dogs of Pugmire mine plastic from great deposits and mint them into coins used as currency. They might have a few, some, or many plastic coins in a purse, and cash only becomes an issue when it is important to the story.

Step Seven: Calculate Defense, Initiative, and Speed

Per page 83, my dog’s Defense is equal to his armor plus his Dexterity bonus. Leather armor confers an 11 Defense and my Dexterity bonus is one, bringing my total to 12.

Initiative is equal to my dog’s Dexterity modifier; in my case, that’s +1. Any time I roll Dexterity for Initiative, I’d add a one.

My dog’s Speed is 30 feet per turn; 40 feet if he drops to all fours and runs.

Step Eight: Choose Personality Traits

To add personality traits, starting players can refer to pages 83-84 and roll a six-sided die to obtain them. I have opted to flesh out my character by using those tables.

My dog’s Ideal, the concept that drives the dog, is to find the secrets of the old ones. As an Artisan, that makes a great deal of sense, since Artisans are the ones most likely to deal with artifacts from the Time of Man. He is inspired by his Bond to the group’s leader, which I decide refers to the leader of his adventuring party. It’s a great way to create a relationship with another character and add interesting touches to allow for greater roleplaying opportunities. My character’s Flaw is that no matter what he does, he can’t seem to keep his anger in check. I imagine this is either a result of some betrayal, or because he didn’t learn any anger management skills in his youth.

Step Nine: Name and Story

Tralfaz Corgi was the third child of a prosperous merchant family. One day, while moving a wagonload of goods from Houndton to Pugmire, Tralfaz stumbled over a small object, half-buried in the muddy roadside. It was a cylindrical object with lightning bolts stamped into its sides. Tralfaz found that, after keeping the strange object in his pocket for a time, it would warm to the touch of his paw. He became obsessed with learning the ways of the artisans, masters of ancient lore who deciphered the workings of artifacts from the days of Man many ages ago.

Tralfaz’s father realized his son wouldn’t be learning the family business after all. With a sigh, he enrolled him in classes to become an artisan. Tralfaz studied diligently under his tutor, learning many secrets, until his teacher (while packing his bags to stay one step ahead of the Inquisitors) proclaimed Tralfaz was ready to set out on his own.

Now I have a fully fleshed-out character, ready to seek adventure and glory in the world of Pugmire. Time to be a good dog!

If you enjoy Pugmire, keep an eye on the Fetch Quest card game, currently on Kickstarter!

[autumn-in-phandom]

Dan and Phil play Dream Daddy

MEET DILDDY LESTOWELL

I loved this video! I was dying of laughter in the first fifteen minutes and just had to make timestamps. Very very long under the cut.

0:00 Phil is wearing his rainbow zebra shirt! Being his best self.

0:03 Wow was that second “daddies” necessary Phil? (Yes, it was.)

0:42 “Cause you know Dan and Phil they like to have the raw naked-”- Dan

0:45 “Immersion”- Phil

0:46 “They just like to go in-”- Dan

0:47 “Are you saying we’re going to have to be blurring some things-”- Phil

0:48 “Bare. What?”- Dan (what?)

0:58 “Give me that Daddiest graphics.”- Phil

1:00 “Oh it’s like Yuri on Ice.”- Dan

1:10 Phil will be a long haired vampire in ten years. Yes, something to look forward to.

1:25 “Phil, don’t do your chin like that, you’re fine.”- Dan (damn fine)

2:07 “Is that your best dad voice?”- Dan

2:14 “Do you wanna be Dad?”- Phil (sass)

2:15 “Phil, everyone wants you to be Dad.”- Dan (the honest truth)

2:34 “Moving house? Oh my god!”- Dan (omg!)

2:45 “Coordinating the headband with the nails.”- Dan (noticing the important stuff)

2:46 “Definitely.”- Phil

2:53 Phil’s yawn, wtf was that? Sounds like a dog.

2:55 “Are you American now?”- Dan

2:56 “I don’t knowww.”- Phil (poor frustrated Phil)

3:03 “Build that Dad!”- in sync

3:30 “Dilddy! No?”- Phil (Dan’s face)

3:36 “Yeah sure. Let’s not think about that anymore Phil.”- Dan

4:04 “Thor. We just made Thor by accident.”- Phil (always with the Thor)

4:07 “Ah the bun hair.”- Dan

4:08 “Man bun.”- Phil

4:09 “That’s very like modern dad aesthetic.”- Dan

4:12 “That’s quite Dil-y”- Phil

4:13 “That’s the most Dil-esque, I think.”- Dan

4:19 “Heart eyes.”- Phil

4:20 “SENPAI!!!”- Dan

4:30 “Can you just have heart eyes the entire game?”- Dan (are you asking for permission Dan?)

4:31 “The whole time.”- Phil

4:32 “Is that just going to ruin the game?”- Phil (no.)

4:33 “Would that be slightly distracting?”- Dan (well, yes.)

4:58 “Noman Rose.”- Phil (has a bit of a Roman nose)

5:10 They love the lips, sassy mouths

5:39 “He banged it on some kind of exercise equipment.”- Phil

5:40 “Wrestling another dad for territory.”- Dan (sure)

5:45 “Yes!”- Phil is excited by facial hair options (and I’m excited for him)

5:50 “More people should have black hair and blonde beards.”- justifying your ginger eyebrows Phil?

5:51 Dan has to think a second before agreeing

5:55 Hunger Games aesthetic, okay.

6:00 “I asked you yesterday if you’d grow a full beard. If you wanted to. Like what’s your answer to that question?”- Phil (I’m going to cry.)

6:04 “What in like twenty years?”- Dan

6:05 “Yeah.”- Phil

6:05 “Yeah, sure. I’ll give it a crack.”- Dan

6:06 “Do you think you’ll ever have a full beard?”- Phil

6:09 “Ever?”- D

6:10 “Ever.”- P

6:10 “Yeah, maybe in like ten years when I finish going through puberty.”- Dan

6:13 “I kinda wanna try.”- Phil wants to try a beard, people! And it might be a different color than his fringe. I see.

6:15 “This is the best part!”- Phil on clothing

6:19 “Can’t you just like have nothing?”- Phil (for underroos apparently)

6:22 “Captain America! Yes!”- Phil (nice six pointed star)

6:25 “Egg nips. I mean totally, I can see that.”- Dan

6:31 Phil saying “Daddy Dil” kills me

6:35 “Cats! With a suit jacket.”- Phil (we have a winner)

6:43 I agree with Dan about that pattern, it reminds me of party centers, roller rinks and tour busses. Phil with the Saved by the Bell reference.

7:00 “Goals. As the kids would say.”- Dan

7:26 “Be that dad. The dad you always dreamed to be.”- Dan

7:28 “Now do we get to date some dads?”- Phil Lester asking the important questions.

7:58 Phil’s second child syndrome

8:13 “No mum’s must exist in this universe!”- Dan (okay Dan, interesting justification)

8:35 “I was just given a bin bag and some sticky stars to say I was a ‘wizard’. Yeah.”- Phil (dang that’s cheap, Lesters)

8:43 “Princess Dragon!”- in sync

8:45 Dan would watch a scaley fairytale movie

9:05 “I wish I had a horse phase.”- Dan (I’m glad I did)

9:09 “Or a Horse Prince phase.”- Phil (he’s not over it)

9:11 “Oh we all had that.”- Dan

9:20 “Why aren’t we going to McFridayz?”- Phil

9:50 Adoption +1

10:00 Kangaroo existential crisis

10:19 “Hit me.”- Dan

10:25 “He knows what to do.”- Dan (getting really into it)

10:30 “Yeah. Then what?”- squeaky over dramatic Dan

10:35 “And then he ran away with a kangaroo.”- Phil (there are two types of people in this world)

10:44 “Just look him up on Facebook! Or did he die?”- Phil

11:02 “The old house!”- fake crying Dan

11:05 Hawaiian backstories, driving distraction

11:15 Hydration: “I can get behind this.”- Dan

11:22 Phil, waving your hands in the air where Dan sneezes is not going to keep the germs away. Maybe if you both actually covered.

11:33 Everyone does bicep curls in this Daddy themed universe

12:12 Dil Howlter house without the owl slide is no Dil Howlter house at all.

12:44 “Dogs!”- Phil

12:48 “CLICK!”- Dan

12:55 Dog to person ratio should be the highest thing on the agenda for any neighborhood

13:11 “Side quest!”- Dan

13:11 “Dog quest!”- Phil

13:12 “Dog time! I’m here for some cute drawn dogs.”- Dan

13:16 Woofing song to the tune of the Katamari theme!

13:27 “What is this idyllic pastel utopia that they’re living in right now? Honestly.”- Dan

13:30 “Where’s the diseased pigeons?”- Phil (London summarized by Phil)

13:47 “DOGS! (toddlers) NOT INTERESTED! (dogs) INTERESTED!”- Dan

13:52 Panting puppies D&P

14:05 “A corgi! Of all the dogs!”- Phil (this is the only reason Phil agreed to play this game)

14:14 “Delet this doggo.”- Dan

14:20 Second “Bork!”

14:26 “Oh god this is the cutest dog. Can we just do dog adoption simulator instead?”- Phil (I’m sure you could)

14:30 “Pet the dog!”- Phil

14:58 “Woah! Irish father of my children!”- Dan

15:13 Gruff and slightly offensive leprechaun

15:18 Puppy role play ;)

15:25 Phil saw the aubergines come out.

15:35 Phil apologizes for “Dilddy”

16:05 Dan loves the freckle representation.

16:22 “Oh my god it’s a Dad Child Proud Of Brag Off”- Dan (very Undertale)

17:33 “Bam. Amazing.”- Dan, “Slapped.”- Phil

19:55 “I’m torn though, cause he has a corgi.”- Phil

19:57 “He has a corgi, but-”- Dan

19:58 “Can we not just date him to hang out with the corgi?”- Phil

20:01 “Can we date him, adopt the corgi and then break up with him?”- Dan

20:04 “Yes!”- Phil (a good plan)

20:33 “I mean let’s just get our own corgi. Let’s adopt a corgi.”- Dan (a better plan)

21:07 Dan would read horse fan-fiction.

21:36 Chocolate coffee beans btw

22:11 “*Sigh* Why would people sit next to you, they always do that though don’t they?”- Dan

22:26 "Am I being helpful or am I cluttering up everyone’s life?“- Dan

22:44 "Oh my god!”- Dan

22:45 “Another Dad.”- Phil

22:46 “With the ta- the glasses, the hair, the piercing.”- Dan (tattoos)

22:49 “Good layering. On the outfit.”- Phil

22:51 “Definitely.”- Dan

23:00 Dan doesn’t like the “too cool” vibe.

23:13 Husky voice ;)

23:38 Dan would not be able to hold a conversation with this guy in real life. Probably because he sounds too much like himself.

23:48 Iced Tegan and Sara (yay!)

23:02 Phil got the pun!

24:49 Couches (Starbucks sofa)

24:50 “Okay Amanda, wow. Life isn’t all about listening to cool music. It’s about enjoying the music that you like.”- Dan

25:00 Good lumbar support is important. It’s comfier than their couch. *giggles*

25:48 “Okay I’m about this.”- Dan (feeding kink)

25:50 “He’s got food!”- Phil

25:53 “Yes. Tick that box.”- Phil

27:08 Phil likes Mat’s awkwardness

27:10 Dan is on the fence: “I don’t know how to feel. Runs a coffee shop, bit of a hipster, is socially awkward, gives you banana bread. I think it’s looking mostly good.”

27:27 “Ohhhh.”- in sync (using 'baby’ in flirting)

28:00 “Wow. Are we adults? Cause we just moved recently.”- Yes Dan, you are adults.

28:08 “Do I smell bad?”- Phil

28:09 “Noo.”- Dan with a quick sniff, barely leaning in, he clearly already knew the answer.

28:16 They agree that the dark and mysterious stranger is the most intriguing part of the story. Stupid look at camera.

28:30 Acknowledging that they still have boxes

28:42 Pink duck, succulents and XBox 360 “Nice”- Phil

28:56 “Get the hell out of my life!”- Dan

29:00 “He’s too perfect already.”- Phil

29:08 “Robot. Robot. Robot.”- Phil

29:36 “Guffaw.”- Dan

30:13 Yeah, just move again guys!

30:28 Phil feels bad for kangaroo jokes earlier.

31:11 Phil likes the do over, time flipping, reset thing.

31:33 Louise story mention.

32:18 “What is that wink?”- Dan

32:30 “All of these daddies are mixed bags.”- Dan desk slamming returns

32:40 “He’s a bloody angel. He’s an angel.”- Dan

32:42 “He’s got a dark secret.”- Phil

32:44 “But also angels are terrible. Stop feeling bad by comparing yourself to an angel.”- Dan

32:48 “Dark secret.”- Phil

33:07 “Plot twizzle.”- Dan

33:45 “They are definitely possessed. I told you, dark secret.”- Phil

34:05 “Christie, Christian and Chris. Wow.”- Dan

34:08 “Evil.”- Phil

34:09 “Definitely.”- Dan

34:28 Exorcist

34:34 “Time for the nappy ding dong.”- Dan

35:01 “Bro”- Dan  "Bro"- Phil

35:20 That look

35:22 “Old college roommate.”- Phil

35:23 “Just sayin.”- Dan

35:35 “River. Oh my god.”- Dan (good name)

35:42 Nice baby gurgling Dan

35:51 “Survived that hazing together.”- Dan

36:00 Phil enjoying the matching eyebrows

36:06 “Maybe they got that scar together, doing something, as roommates.”- Dan

36:30 “Copacabana.”- Dan

36:50 “Clearly we didn’t have the American college experience. We did the Smirnoff Slam.”- Dan

37:05 Jogging with baby imitation

37:12 “Wow. Dilddy is just every person probably on the internet and YouTube, in the community watching this.”- Dan

37:25 “Wow. So relatable.”- Dan (shush Dan, #relatable is your schtick)

37:30 “How is he so ripped if he never jogs though?”- Phil (umm you selected that body type and said he works out.)

37:37 “Bro brunch.”- Phil, “A bro brunch?!”- Dan

“Why do we never have bro brunches?”- Dan, “I don’t know”-Phil

“What the hell is a bro brunch?”- Dan, “I don’t know.”- Phil

37:52 “Jog on, Craig.”- Phil, “Jog on, Craig? Jesus.”- Dan

38:18 “I mean, there’s like, stuff in that, isn’t there.”- Yes Dan, they’re tomatoes.

41:01 “The blonde guy.”- Phil

41:10 Phil likes coffee shop guy. Gee I wonder why. Dan is unsure, too cool.

41:30 Dan likes the blonde: confidence, wants to make you happy, “that’s who Dilddy needs in his life, at this important time.” (Dear god Dan can you not?)

Phil still thinks he’s a robot with satanic children. Yep.

41:51 Gee Phil you don’t seem into it. (probably just tired, maybe headache)

42:08 “Thumb it”, tickle, etc.

42:45 “Get a dog.”- Dan

[snowtoroislord]

List 93: Top Ten Anime I want to make a Game for

I love video games. I would easily say it is my favorite hobby I do. Usually it takes a backseat nowadays to me doing other things in my life but it is truly the one I find the most passion in. That got me to thinking what anime would I want to turn into games? I started visualizing genres and unique ways to turn them into games and my imagination went wild with the idea. It really was one of the most fun ideas I’ve come up with in a while. I ordered these in less of quality and more of how proud I was of each idea I came up with for them. I also put genre and studio making it to make it really feel more alive to me. Game on!

10: Kids on the Slope

Genre: Rhythm    Company: Nintendo

This was a given with the show in question. I sat for a while thinking over whether it or Your Lie in April deserved this spot and settled on Kids for a few reasons. I figured a time piece of music would be very neat to see in gaming. We always get certain series or styles but never one time period aside from like when Rockband did stuff for Kiss. You can play one of 4 instruments: piano, drums, trumpet, and double bass. The music selection would all be songs from the anime and time period. A jazz based rhythm game made by men in Nintendo who grew up in that time period. The would for sure connect with the title and bring out the music quality to the highest standard. 

9: Gurren Lagann

Genre: Mech Open World Adventure   Company: Monolith Soft

This one would have you building your own mech form the start and working through the story of Gurren Lagann with it as a part of Team Dai Gurren. Once the 7 year gap happens you would have tons of side quests and ways to upgrade and remodel your mech while taking on tons of challenges. Monolith loves mechs to death so I figure who better to display Mechs at the most over the top in gaming form. References to other famous Mech anime would be nice too as a way to make it feel special. Unlockable mechs for certain Gundams and the Evas from Neon Genesis would be a true delight. 

8: Rurouni Kenshin

Genre: Action  Company:  Rocksteady Studios

Following the story of Kenshin beat for beat is what I want here. The game would be split into 3 parts. The first would be a section in Tokyo where basic missions and gameplay is taught while getting through the start of the story. Then you would get to Kyoto and have a much larger area to see and the story would build up to the Shishio arc. Then you would end off with Kenshin’s backstory and Enishi’s arc with a Tokyo filled with tons more to do. You would have also side unlockable stories playable with Sanosuke, Yahiko, Kaoru, and Saito. I chose Rocksteady for it’s great open world design, and combat flow in the Batman games. I think bringing that to a Kenshin game would be fantastic. Mix their love to drop hidden facts about the city and characters with obtainable secrets and this game would be a love letter to Kenshin fans. Telling the story from start to finish and constantly giving you new abilities as you work through the story. 

7:Kill la Kill

Genre: Beat’em Up   Company: Platinum Games

Name a company that makes better crazy action games then Platinum? With Bayonetta and Metal Gear Rising alone I’m convinced they could make a wonderful adaptation of the Kill la Kill world and make the action feel like the anime did. I’m undecided if I want the actual story to be the focus or just let them make an original plot within the world. I’d rather like to play Ryuko though and kick ass with my scissor blades. So I think I lean more towards that for sure. 

6:Fullmetal Alchemist

Genre: Action Adventure    Company: Bandai Namco

Haha Looks like I forgot to type something here the first time!

FMA’s game would follow the story of the series of course(brotherhood), and you would play everyone from Ed to Mustang to Winry. Varieties of gameplay styles and modes to keep it fresh while hitting the player hard with the feels of the story itself. It would hit all the marks and try to be a little bit of everything just like the actual series. Bandai makes tons of great titles like the Tales series so I trust them to figure out a way to make it all come to life with a perfect equivalent exchange. 

5: Fate Series

Genre: Open World Action-RPG    Company: From Software

Fate is a pretty dark world and the set up of the Holy Grail War is fantastic. Give players the option to choose from almost a hundred options of heroes of the past, present, and future and let them take part in the war. Letting you improve as you battle and explore trying to find intel on the other competitors would allow you a ton of freedom while playing. Mix all the options and each playthrough would be unique as well. I think a risk/reward battle system like From Software is known for would work here. You are rewarded for being more risky but at the same time show all your skills and you could be at a disadvantage when trying to fight future heroes. I think it would be a very challenging battle of wits and reflexes at least. 

4: Kuroko no Basuke

Genre: Sports    Company: 2K Games

Anyone remember NBA Jam and NBA Showtime? The hilarious bombastic basketball video games that would let you dunk from almost anywhere on the court. Imagine the basically superpower of the Kuroko cast in video game glory. Let people play through the story or exhibition matches and let them go crazy with every character’s special traits. Heck you could even make a few fake new character with weird abilities just to spice it up a bit. I’ll let a sports series expert handle this one and make it crazy as can be. 

3: Magic Kaito

Genre: Heist Stealth    Company: Level-5 

With Persona 5 on the cusp on being released world wide it made me think, why not a Kaito game in a similar vein? You could play through a multitude of scenarios made for the game including all sorts of characters from Aoko to Conan. Be Kaito Kid and use what the game gives you to make it through the police, other adversaries, and of course Conan again to best them all as the phantom thief! I think this game would be full of laughs and creative level design open to player to explore. Think like a funny Hitman game, where you steal instead of kill. Any fan would be in for a treat and I think Level-5 has a huge track record that would reassure me. 

2: Spice & Wolf

Genre: Economics/Dating Sim   Company: MPS Labs

From the creators of Civ. I want a fantastic simulation title. You play through the world of Spice & Wolf as Kraft Lawrence and try to get Holo to her home. The game would have travel segments like Oregon trail, a romance meter to build with Holo, and a very complex world economics system to learn and master. If you are able to be the best at all of them you will get the best and true ending of the game. Anything from death to Holo leaving you can happen, its up to you to master the market and your heart to get the true end! 

1: The Girl Who Leapt Through TIme

Genre: Choice Based Adventure    Company: Naughty Dog

So, I was thinking lets have a new character that you play in the same world as the Girl Who Leapt Through Time. You are given 100 jumps to make. And the game takes place over the course of 3 months. So around 90 days. Every day you play through like a simulation game building relationships, leveling up certain personality and knowledge stats and overall learning about the world. At any time over the 3 months you can jump back in time after completing any new task. Which ones are important and which ones are truly unimportant in the grand scheme? Maybe they are all important. Work your way to a happy ending and not the bad one you see in your dreams on day 1 of the story. It would make players really try their hardest to appreciate every little decision and I think I want the perfect graphics of realism from Naughty Dog and their little touches to make this a true classic through time. 

Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own any of the above pictures. The credit goes to the original creators of each and thus will be considered theirs. Enjoy the pics!

What anime would you make a game out of? I tried to use a variety of genres and ideas but I’m sure there are tons more out there! Tell me somewhere on the net!

See ya Space Corgis!

[omg-snakes]

Hey, I'm looking into getting a snake for my birthday and I want to know some good breeds that would be good for someone who knows only a little about snakes. (At the moment) Thanks!

This is a little question with a HUGE answer!To start off, you should be aware that there is a big difference between breed and species. A species is a group of individuals with similar characteristics that can mate and produce viable offspring. A breed is a subgroup within a species that has been specifically bred to emphasize a specific set of characteristics. Corgis and German Shepherds are both breeds of domestic dog, Canis lupus familiaris. Wolves and domestic dogs are both members of the species Canis lupus. Wolves and coyotes are different species, though. Coyotes are part of the species Canis latrans.When we talk about snakes, what we would call “breeds” in mammals are referred to as “morphs.” Morphs are usually different colors of the same species, like an albino hognose snake versus a classic, wild-type colored hognose snake, but sometimes morphs can also refer to size.You’re now armed with some vocabulary you can use to start your research for your future snake-pal! There really are no good snake species for somebody who doesn’t know much about snakes, so your next task is to learn, learn, learn! But how to direct your research so that you don’t spend a million years reading about snakes and never get a snake? You can narrow your field by considering what you want out of a snake companion. Do you want a big snake or a little one? A chill snuggler or an active buddy? Somebody who you’ll see often and can handle a lot, or somebody who might hide more often and who is happier with less frequent handling? How much time weekly can you devote to the care and maintenance of your snake? How much space and money can you invest in them? Will you need to move within the forseeable future, and will your snake be able to go with you if you do have to move? These are all important things to consider when considering a pet snake.Once you’ve selected your perfect snake species, you’ll need to have their habitat ready before you bring them home. This means you’ll need to know what size enclosure they need, what sort of heat source is best, what kind of bedding to use, and what that species likes doing so that you can provide lots of enrichment to keep your snek child happy and healthy!Depending on how much time you have before your birthday, the best gift might be gift cards! That way you can still have a great birthday and take your time finding the best snakepal for you. It’s really not a decision to make lightly.I hope you have a very happy birthday and I wish you the best on your Snake Quest 2017!

[hotspotsmagazine]

Peter LaBarbera Placed in Facebook Jail for Transphobic Posts

OMG, you will never believe this but Peter LaBarbera is in jail.

Just kidding, kind of.

For those of you familiar with LaBarbera, the specter behind Americans for Truth About Homosexuality, you’d be forgiven for assuming that he was in jail for hate-criming someone — probably a transgender teenager wanting to attend prom or something.

In reality, LaBarbera is merely in Facebook jail. (But, then again, aren’t we all?) LaBarbera is super upset about his 30-day suspension from Facebook after posting photos of Alex Jacob’s post top surgery along with an invitation to the AFTAH banquet, promising that AFTAH would help stop “transgender insanity” and “gender deviance and body mutilation.”

“The picture is from the Twitter feed of Alex, a beautiful young woman who had her healthy breasts surgically removed two years ago in her tragic quest to identify as a man,” LaBarbera writes.

A couple of things. First, whether or not LaBarbera thinks pre-op Alex is “beautiful” is irrelevant. Note to LaBarbera: Alex’s body isn’t, wasn’t, and never will be your business. The only thing “tragic” about this whole thing is LaBarbera’s obsession with LGBTQ people and his commitment to hating them.

Second, LaBarbera links to Alex’s Twitter feed and so I went to check it out and oh my god alex has the cutest corgi puppy named charlotte sorry i am literally dead from acute cuteness! (OK, so I’m not literally dead, I’m figuratively dead.)

But Alex’s Twitter isn’t all cute puppies. It’s got a fair share of trans realness, too.

“Sometimes I have these lil moments where I look in the mirror n see the way a shirt falls over my flat chest n get so ecstatic,” Alex Tweets. “It’s been over 2 yrs. since top surgery & it’s easy to forget about the pain I felt pre-op but I don’t think I’ll ever stop having these moments of pure joy n comfort in my own body.”

Pure joy and comfort, huh? That’s a lot different than the “tragic quest” LaBarbera depicted. The “pain” Alex is referring to isn’t physical pain, but emotional pain. It’s a pain that cisgender people don’t, and probably can’t, fully understand. And it’s why LaBarbera’s insistence that people like Alex are damaged and sick is so appalling. Trans people have higher rates of suicide precisely because of the kind of societal pressure rejection LaBarbera traffics in.

Not that anyone needs to tell Alex that.

“Transphobes will treat trans people like freaks & deny us basic human rights only to later use our high suicide rates as proof that we don’t deserve validation & support,” Jacobs said.

It’s a vicious circle, and one that literally costs lives.

So LaBarbera can spare me his sob story about his cyber exile.

“To tell you the truth,” LaBarbera writes, “I can’t even keep track anymore of how many times I or AFTAH have been ‘jailed’ or unpublished by these leftist ‘Tech Totalitarians’ in the last few years.”

For someone who claims to be a purveyor of “truth,” LaBarbera sure lies a lot. But in this case, I believe him. He probably can’t keep track of all of the times he’s faced consequences for advocating hate against LGBTQ people. However, the number of times he has either faced no consequences or has even benefitted from peddling hate is far, far greater.

“I don’t have any answers on how to combat this escalating corporate speech control, which is far more menacing than the government ‘hate crime’ laws conservatives feared for so many years,” he writes.

If LaBarbera thinks it’s tough to be a right-wing bigot online he should try being, say, any woman with an opinion on Twitter. Women online get rape and death threats for posting things like, “I really loved the all-female Ghostbusters reboot!” And even when the accounts of those threats are reported, they often don’t get put into Facebook or Twitter “jail.” They just hang out there, unchecked, just like sexism and misogyny IRL.

LaBarbera will not be deterred, however.

“We must never, ever, ever give in to this radical, anti-God LGBTQueer sex-and-gender revolution and its apologists,” he writes. “Their agenda harms children, and we cannot let them silence us. Hopefully reason and sanity will prevail over the growing ‘LGBTyranny’ that threatens our cherished freedoms as Americans.”

Ah, yes. Our cherished freedoms to post super shitty things about people on Facebook. Like the founding fathers intended.

“Keep on fighting,” LaBarbera writes.

And the truth is, LaBarbera truly is fighting the good fight. He’s just on the wrong side. Oh, and his Twitter feed has no cute Corgi puppies AT ALL. Complete waste.

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/12/11/peter-labarbera-placed-in-facebook-jail-for-transphobic-posts/