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aquaticmercy · 3 days ago
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Portals
Summary : You teach Bucky how to open portals using a sling ring. Turns out, he’s a menace with that thing.
Pairing : Bucky Barnes x sorceress!reader (she/her)
Warnings/tags : Lots of fluff. Cursing. Implied sex if you squint. Wong is your bestie. Bucky loves you so much???
Word count : 2.1k
Note : I just keep making fics with superpowered! Reader lol. Enjoy!!!
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You first met Bucky a few days after the Battle against Thanos.
You were among the Kamar-Taj sorcerers who had fought against then Mad Titan’s army, and now you found yourself volunteering in the makeshift infirmary set up in upstate New York. It had been running non-stop for three exhausting days, treating the wounded heroes and civilians alike.
Your job wasn’t glamorous, but it was important— mending smaller wounds—cuts, bruises, and the occasional fractured bone—with a bit of magic, leaving the more complex cases to professionals like Christine Palmer and Stephen Strange. Magic was powerful, but it had physical limitations. 
You were wiping your hands clean after finishing a quick healing spell when you spotted him.
Bucky Barnes was standing near the edge of the tent, his long hair brushing his shoulders, looking curiously around the room. Perhaps it reminded him of the infirmaries he was used to finding himself in, back in the 1940s. He wasn’t there for himself, but to accompany Sam Wilson, who was sitting on a cot while Christine examined a nasty gash on his arm, making sure it didn't get infected.
You weren’t sure what drew your attention to him. Maybe it was the way that he stood like he was always ready for battle. Maybe he was just… your type. Either way, you knew you wanted to talk to him.
Besides, you both have been through hell. Maybe a little lighthearted flirting could improve the mood. 
You nudged Strange, who was muttering something under his breath about a ruptured spleen.
“Psst,” you whispered, glancing toward the corner of the tent.
“What?” he grumbled without looking up, clearly a bit annoyed, but also a little amused. He had learned to anticipate your little antics. He would never admit it, but you did make life a little more interesting.
“Introduce me to him.” You tilted your head toward Bucky, trying to sound nonchalant.
Strange finally glanced up, following your line of sight. “Barnes?” His eyebrows rose in surprise, then furrowed. “I barely know him.”
“Do I look like I care?” you shot back, tilting your head in a silent plea. “Please?”
Strange sighed, the corner of his mouth twitching like he was fighting a smile. “Fine,” he said, closing the chart with an exaggerated snap. “but if this distracts you from stitching people back together, I’m putting you on night guard duty for the next week.”
“Thank you,” you shot back with a grin. He waved it off as walked with you toward Bucky.
When you reached him, Strange made the introduction short and sweet. “Barnes, this is our librarian. Apparently, she thinks now’s a good time to meet new people.” He glanced at you, “And she’s very persistent, so you’re stuck now.”
Bucky blinked, clearly surprised, before turning to you with a polite smile. “Hi.”
Your first date was a quiet dinner in New York. Your second was a walk through the city, where Bucky told you stories about Brooklyn in the 40s, and you told him how you found yourself studying magic. By the third date, he was making you laugh so hard you spilled iced coffee all over yourself. From then on, you knew you were in too deep.
It wasn’t long until you were sneaking Bucky into Kamar-Taj during your breaks, showing him small, inconsequential tricks with magic, and stealing kisses in the hidden alcoves of the library. 
He had an almost childlike wonder for sorcery, and you couldn’t help but enjoy the way his eyes lit up whenever you showed him something new.
It was romantic. It was thrilling. Until Wong caught the two of you kissing behind a row of ancient texts on chaos magic. 
“Really?” Wong said flatly, arms crossed as you and Bucky hastily pulled apart, “are you both sixteen again?”
“Please don’t tell Strange,” you blurted out, “or I’ll never hear the end of it.”
Wong raised an eyebrow. “I’ll consider it,” he replied.
Later, over tea, Wong brought it up again, his tone a bit more curious. “You’re not planning on quitting your job to go be an Avenger with Barnes, are you?” he asked, sipping his chai. “Because I am not taking over as head librarian again. That was the worst three months of my life.”
You snorted into your tea. “Relax, Wong,” you assured him with a laugh. “I actually like my job. You see, unlike some people, I can actually read.”
Wong didn’t even hesitate, flicking you lightly on the forehead with a spark of magic.
Being the librarian of Kamar-Taj meant that your schedule was, at best, unpredictable. One moment, you were cataloging ancient tomes; the next, you were stopping a novice from accidentally summoning a fire demon. Bucky understood your responsibilities, but as more magic users went rogue, you started sneaking him in less and less.
One day, when you laid awake in your bed with him on your side, he muttered something about stupid witches and goddamn evil sorcerers, cussing them out for taking you away from him. You could see how much he hated waiting for you to have free time.
So you came up with a brilliant plan. 
“You want me to learn magic?” Bucky’s skeptical voice echoed in the library as you handed him a sling ring.
“Just this one thing,” you said, wrapping your arms around him from behind. “So you can come to me instead of waiting for me to come to you.” 
He raised an eyebrow, half-expecting some trick. “What’s the catch?” 
“The catch,” you said, “is that you actually have to practice.”
It took him a while to get started, to a point where you weren’t sure if he’d even be able to do it at all. 
Sling rings required focus, visualisation, and precision— and Bucky wasn’t exactly used to magical tools. “Maybe I’m just more of a hit-stuff kinda guy,” he grumbled after his fourth failed attempt at opening a portal.
“Focus, babe,” you teased. “Picture where you want to go. Feel it.”
To his credit, he practiced religiously during his visits, and eventually, it clicked. The first time he successfully opened a portal to your exact location, he was so pleased with himself that he barely noticed that he had scared America Chavez in the process.
“Nailed it,” he said, beaming with pride.
What you hadn’t anticipated was how much he’d use it once he got the hang of it. 
The first time he surprised you, you were in the middle of shelving some ancient leather bound books. They held an ancient power, one that could destroy the world if it got into the wrong hands. 
Suddenly, A golden portal shimmered to life in front of you. You yelped as Bucky’s head poked through.
“Hey, doll,” he said casually, as if he hadn’t just scared you half to death.
“Bucky!” you hissed, clutching a fragile book to your chest. “This is a restricted section!”
“I just wanted to see where you’ve been all day,” he shrugged, stepping through the portal.
You glared at him, but the warmth in his eyes meant that you could never stay mad at him. “You’re going to get me in trouble,” you muttered.
He leaned down to press a quick kiss to your temple. “Worth it.”
It turned out, teaching Bucky how to use a sling ring was both the best and worst idea you’d ever had.
One evening, as you were nestled in your quarters, peacefully centering your mind after a long day when a soft whirl manifested behind you. Before you could open your eyes, a pair of strong arms wrapped snugly around your waist.
“Miss me?” Bucky purred in your ear.
You squeaked, nearly toppling the candle flickering in front of you. “James fucking Barnes!” you gasped, twisting to glare at him. Cursing wasn’t really approved in meditation circles, so you hoped none of the pacifist elder sorcerers heard you. 
“What?” he asked, smirking sheepishly.
“You can’t just portal in while I’m meditating!”
Your cheeks flared, but the way his arms stayed wrapped around you made it awfully hard to stay annoyed at him.
Then there was the shower incident.
You were mid-rinse, the hot spray of water melting away the stressful day— Wong had insisted on combat training today, and you had managed to knot every muscle in your upper body. You were blissfully lost in your own little world until you heard the whirl of a portal opening.
“Hey, doll—”
You shrieked, instinct taking over as you manifested a shield and threw the closest thing to you—a slippery bar of soap—and flung it blindly in the intruder’s direction. It landed with a wet thud on Bucky’s chest. 
He stood there, grinning casually, steam curling around him like a halo.
“BUCKY!” you yelled, yanking the shower curtain halfway closed. “What the fuck?!”
“I missed you,” he said, smiling as if he was the poster boy for innocence.
“Close it! Now!” you growled, pointing at the still-open portal as water dripped down your arms.
“Right,” he raised his hands, the portal vanished with a soft hum. He didn’t move from his spot. Instead, he tilted his head, giving you a slow once-over that made heat creep up your neck.
“Can I join you?” he asked, his voice low and teasing.
You sighed, caught between indignation and... oh, who were you kidding? The sight of your ridiculously gorgeous, super-soldier boyfriend standing there, all smug, was doing dangerous things to your resolve.
Might as well make the most of it, right? Who knows when he’ll get whisked off to a foreign land for a mission again? 
“…yes,” you murmured, barely audible over the pounding of your heartbeat and the cascade of water.
Bucky’s grin turned wicked. Without hesitation, he peeled off his clothes. His broad shoulders came into view, glistening faintly from the steam as he stepped into the shower with a satisfied smile.
One time, he even showed up in the library while Wong was painstakingly rifling through stacks of scrolls in search of a specific one about interdimensional wards.
Bucky had gotten so stealthy with his portals that neither of you noticed him at first—not until he appeared, leaning casually against the edge of a nearby shelf, sporting his usual broody, charming smile.
Wong was startled slightly, his hands freezing mid-air as he glanced at Bucky. Then at you. Then back at Bucky.
“I see you’ve taught him the sling ring,” Wong said dryly, the corners of his mouth twitching, suppressing an amused smile.
“I regret it every single day,” you muttered, glaring playfully at your boyfriend. Bucky, of course, was unfazed. He simply crossed his arms, waiting for you to give him more attention.
“Good to see you too, Wong,” Bucky replied, clearly enjoying causing a scene.
“Barnes,” Wong said, nodding in acknowledgment but already returning to his scrolls with a heavy sigh. The current sorcerer supreme muttered under his breath, “If he knocks over one shelf, you’re fixing it.”
Bucky only shrugged. “Do I look like someone who’d knock over a shelf?”
“Yes,” you and Wong replied in unison.
Tonight, though, the stress had gotten to you more than usual. Strange had shown up with a tentacle monster and tasked you with banishing it to the dark dimension. It took you four scrolls and two hours to get the right spell. 
All you wanted was Bucky—his arms around you, his kisses peppering your face. But as the hours ticked by, your heart sank. He hadn’t shown up like he usually did, and you were beginning to think he wasn’t going to show up at all. 
When you finally pushed open the door to your quarters, you were surprised to find him already there.
An adorable smile played on his lips as he looked up from where he’d been arranging a cosy little corner, piled high with blankets and pillows. He had a bag of your favorite snacks sitting on your bedside table, his laptop was set up to play your favorite movie. 
“Wong called,” he said, “he told me you had a rough day.”
You melted instantly, letting out a tired but grateful sigh as you sank into his arms.
“You’re still a menace with that ring,” you mumbled into his chest, your words muffled by his comfy sweatshirt.
Bucky chuckled, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. His fingers brushed your jawline, and with the gentlest touch, he guided your face toward his. The moment his lips met yours, it was as if the world melted away. His kiss was sweet— so full of love that it left you longing for more.
As you curled up together, your head resting on his shoulder, you decided you could definitely put up with a few surprises. After all, he mastered the sling ring just for you.
-end.
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logoleptic-since-06 · 2 days ago
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Jealous Jealous Jealous Boy
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Content: GN!Reader, Fluff, Profanity, Arranged Marriage Fiance!Satoru, Not Proofread Word Count: 612
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Satoru has spent his life full of chaos and revelry, his bedroom eyes luring in anyone he encounters whether he wishes to do so or not. His aversion to elite Jujutsu society events would only intensify as the years went by.
But tonight is different as he stands in front of the mirror, compulsively fixing his already perfect hair. Never in his life has he ever worried about looking anything less than perfect because, even to his own awareness, that’s all he’s ever looked. Perhaps there truly is a first time for everything, he supposes.
“You look like a dumbfuck,” Suguru drawls as he enters the room.
“What?” he replies absent-mindedly.
“Getting all decked up knowing you’ll meet your fiance,” he clarifies. “Dumbfuckery.”
Is that what he’s doing? Getting excited to meet someone? That can’t be right, can it? People were excited to meet Satoru Gojo, not the other way round.
At the party, it’s like his eyes have a mind of their own as they frantically search for you in the crowd and, not long after, land on you as you make your way through the crowd, the ring he gave you– not of love, but rather of duty– glistening on your finger of commitment. 
“Hey,” you greet as you reach him. 
“Hey,” he gives you a smile of courtesy, his heart fluttering as you look at him. Can Suguru be right? Is he falling for his arranged fiance?
As the night goes by, the two of you are drifted away by others, with Satoru being surrounded by some higher ups while you are occupied with–
Wait a second.
Who the fuck is that?
A man not far from your and Satoru’s age stands a little too close to you. Smiling as if to charm you, he runs a hand through his hair. Satoru feels his blood rush to his head as the scene unfolds in front of his eyes. He quickly braces himself, reminding himself that this may be a casual conversation between two acquaintances, that this arrangement to you is merely a contract signed between two families.
Yet, he can’t help but watch as you both drown yourselves in a seemingly interesting conversation, carefully scrutinizing the man’s body language until his eyes land on yours. 
The moment your eyes meet, Satoru notices your expression relax at the slightest as you subtly widen your eyes, as if to signal something to him. It takes him less than a second to understand what you’re trying to say. 
He walks over to the both of you and slides an arm around your waist, giving the man a charm inducing grin. He feels a sense of satisfaction when the man’s demeanour changes as he realises who he had been conversing with.
“Satoru Gojo, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” the man quickly says, nervousness spilling with every word.
“I’m sure it is,” he remarks, “And I see you’ve already met my fiance?”
The man’s eyes widen. “Y-yes sir, it was a pleasure talking to you, too,” the man tells you. You simply force a nod in return while suppressing an amused smirk.
The man almost stumbles over as he leaves and you let out an exasperated sigh. “He was so annoying,” you tell your fiance.
Satoru chuckles. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, I kept trying to ignore him and he would just not take the hint.”
Satoru’s heart swells and mind fills itself with fulfillment as he hears those words from you. Perhaps you both will share the same feelings towards each other by the time the vows are taken. And perhaps Suguru is right, it is dumbfuckery. But it is a sweet one at that.
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jezebelblues · 2 days ago
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live on tour (interlinked) | h.s | 1
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pt 1, pt 2 (complete)
summary: we don’t talk about it, it’s something we don’t do—cause once you go without it, nothing else will do.
cw: smut18+ in pt 2, weed, alcohol, angst, sort of a slowburn idk, fem!reader, hs1rry
word count: approx 21.5k gulp
| idk how to feel ab this!!! stay with me now. + tumblr forced me to put this into two parts. [wink, nudge: the lyrics always mean something] i'm posting pt 2 right after this. smut is in 2nd part if that's only ur cup of tea
masterlist
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June, 2017
It was Mitch who vouched for her.
Harry had trusted him implicitly since the first meeting. His effortless cool, his way of speaking only when necessary, and the way his guitar sounded like it could split the sky—all of it made him essential to Harry’s debut. If Mitch said someone was good, Harry would believe it.
But good wasn’t the issue.
“S’not about talent,” Harry had said one night in rehearsals, after the original second guitarist dropped out. “I just need t’feel like we fit, you know?”
Mitch had nodded, taking that as permission to make the call.
Her name was YN.
He’d heard the name before. Her reputation in the industry wasn’t loud but sharp—a razor’s edge that hinted at precision and professionalism. A prodigy of sorts, she’d landed her big break with Pink Floyd’s operatic revival of The Wall, the youngest lead guitarist in the show’s history. Since then, she’d moved from project to project, touring, sitting in on sessions, lending her guitar to artists who wanted her distinct, cutting sound.
Harry had always assumed she was someone you called when you needed the best, but not someone you kept around.
He wasn’t sure why that thought stuck in his head when Mitch mentioned her name.
He fumbled with the hem of his white t-shirt and stood at the back of the dim rehearsal space, watching Mitch set up. The low hum of amps warming up filled the room. Mitch’s quiet focus steadied Harry’s nerves—until the door opened.
She walked in with her guitar strapped across her back. She wasn’t early, but she wasn’t late either. The kind of timing that said she knew she was good but wasn’t going to make a show of it.
“Hey.” Mitch greeted her with a slight nod. He’d already taken his place behind the mixing board, leaving Harry to do the introductions.
YN turned her head toward Harry. Her eyes flickered over him briefly, as if appraising him, and then landed back on Mitch. “This the audition?”
Harry frowned. “Not an audition. A rehearsal.”
She raised an eyebrow, but her expression didn’t waver. “Right. Rehearsal.”
There was no handshake, no nervousness, no wide-eyed awe that he was used to when people first met him. She treated him like someone she was there to work with, not someone she wanted to impress.
Mitch gestured to a stand near the tall brunette. “You can set up there.”
She walked past them both without another word, unzipping her guitar case and pulling out a battered Stratocaster, crème and pine green. Harry noticed her hands immediately—nimble fingers with calluses thick enough to catch the light.
“Let’s get on with it then,” she grinned, plugging in.
He leaned toward Mitch, speaking low enough that she couldn’t hear. “Bit cocky, isn’t she?”
Mitch smirked but didn’t reply.
The first run-through was solid. She played with precision, hitting every note cleanly, and her technical skills were undeniable. But something about it felt cold, distant. Harry tried to catch her eye while they were playing, but she was hyper-focused on her guitar, her face blank.
When they finished the first song, he put his hands on his hips. “Alright,” he paused, louder than necessary. “That’s…fine. Let’s take it from the top.”
YN looked at Mitch. “Fine?”
Harry cut in before he could respond. “Yeah, fine. It’s technically good, but there’s no feeling in it. This isn’t session work. We’re putting on a live show. People need t’feel something when you play.”
She stared at him for a moment, then set her guitar down on its stand. “And what exactly do you want me to feel? We’re playing your songs.”
The tension in the room spiked. Mitch glanced between the two of them, looking ready to intervene.
He crossed his arms. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means,” she started, brushing her hair back from her face, “that if you want something specific, maybe tell me what you’re looking for instead of just saying it’s not good enough.”
Her words hung in the air.
Mitch cleared his throat. “Why don’t we try the next track?”
She picked up her guitar without waiting for Harry’s input. Her fingers brushed the strings in a quick, angry strum as she tested the tuning. Harry stared at her, his jaw tight.
She didn’t flinch under his gaze.
It went on like that for the next hour.
Every time YN played, he found something to critique. Her tone, her phrasing, her timing—it didn’t matter that Mitch disagreed and kept insisting she was perfect for the role. Harry refused to back down, nitpicking every detail.
By the time they reached the final song, the air in the room was thick with unspoken animosity. YN played the opening riff of kiwi with more aggression than necessary, her fingers sliding over the frets like she wanted to punish the guitar.
When they finished, she shifted her weight and unplugged her amp. “Are we done?” she asked, slinging her guitar back over her shoulder.
Harry opened his mouth, ready with another critique, but Mitch cut him off. “Yeah. We’re done f'today.”
She nodded, her expression unreadable. She didn’t look at Harry again as she walked toward the door.
When it closed behind her, Harry let out a frustrated sigh. “She’s not right for this.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You sure about that?”
“I’m positive,” He snapped. “She’s not a team player. She doesn’t fit.”
He leaned back against the mixing board, crossing his arms, hair falling behind his shoulders. “You ever think that maybe you’re the one who doesn’t fit?”
Harry glared at him. “What’s that supposed t’mean?”
“It means,” he said slowly, “that she’s a better guitarist than you’re giving her credit for. And maybe you don’t like her because she’s not trying to kiss your ass.”
He scoffed. “That’s ridiculous.”
Mitch shrugged. “If you want to replace her, go ahead. But good luck finding someone else who can keep up with me…or you.”
Outside the rehearsal space, YN stood by her car, lighting a cigarette. She didn’t smoke often, only with a drink or if she was tense. 
She exhaled a plume of smoke into the warm evening air, her jaw clenched. She wasn’t angry exactly, but there was something about Harry Styles that got under her skin.
It wasn’t his fame or his music—that was fine. She’d worked with big names before. It was the way he carried himself, like he expected the world to bend around him.
He wasn’t used to people pushing back, and YN had no intention of making it easy for him.
If he wanted her to feel something when she played, she’d give him exactly that.
Even if it meant setting the whole stage on fire.
The rehearsal space smelled faintly of stale coffee and amps that had been running too long. The walls were lined with soundproofing panels, their faded gray color doing little to brighten the room. YN arrived early this time—not out of eagerness, but because she didn’t want to give Harry anything else to criticize.
Her guitar case thumped onto the ground before she adjusted the ring on her pinky—not dainty, but not loud. Her mother’s birth flower ingrained along the gold surface, a piece of her she could carry since her death in 2014. She could hear Mitch in the back, tuning his Gibson, and the faint shuffle of Harry’s sneakers as he moved across the space, adjusting mic stands and scribbling notes.
She was effortlessly pretty, the kind of beauty that crept up on you when you weren’t paying attention. Her lips held a natural pout, and her hair framed her face in a way that looked casual but impossibly deliberate, like it had conspired with the universe to fall just right. Her outfit was understated, perfect for rehearsal—straight-leg blue denim that sat just right on her hips, an off-white baby tee with cherry bomb splashed in bold red across the center, and a pair of scuffed white club c reeboks that had seen more than their fair share of years since 2015.
Around her wrist was a faded friendship bracelet, its once-bright threads dulled by time but no less significant. Jude, her best friend since high school, had tied it there the night they graduated, their laughter mingling with the hum of summer cicadas. She’d never taken it off, not once, even as life swept them into different journeys.
When YN told Jude over vodka cranberries that she’d landed a gig playing guitar for Harry Styles—yes, that Harry Styles—Jude nearly fell off her barstool. She’d been the kind of One Direction fan who made custom shirts for concerts and cried during little things. YN still remembered the way her voice shook with disbelief as she grabbed her by the shoulders and said, “You’re telling me you’re gonna play for Harry fucking Styles?” It had taken two rounds of shots to calm her down, though her enthusiasm had lingered for weeks. It was the kind of reaction that reminded YN how surreal this opportunity really was.
She promised she’d get her a front row ticket the first night in New York. 
She took her time setting up, deliberately slow. If Harry wanted to play mind games, she could too.
“Morning,” Mitch greeted, glancing up from his guitar.
“Hey,” she replied, flashing a quick smile. Mitch was the only person in the room she felt remotely comfortable around.
Harry’s voice cut through the room, sharper than it needed to be. “You’re early today.”
YN didn’t bother looking at him. “Thought I’d save you the trouble of complaining.”
The sound of Mitch’s guitar string snapping filled the silence that followed. He muttered something under his breath and bent to grab a spare string from his bag.
He walked over, his footsteps deliberate. “It’s not complaining. It’s feedback.”
“Uh-huh,” YN’s lips twitched, focusing on adjusting her amp. She crouched to test the levels, purposely ignoring him.
Harry crouched too, just enough to catch her eye. He smelt like cedar and pine. “You have something t’say?”
Her hands paused on the dials. “Nope.”
“Good.”
She stood abruptly, the motion forcing Harry to lean back. Her expression didn’t change, but her grip on her guitar tightened.
The rehearsal started the same way the last one ended: tense.
YN matched Harry’s intensity with her playing, her fingers precise but hard, striking each note with the kind of force that could shatter glass. She didn’t look at him once, even when he stopped the song halfway through to give her another round of vague critiques.
“Can you make it less…clinical?” he asked, his hands gesturing vaguely in the air.
“Clinical?” she repeated, her voice flat.
“Yeah, like…put some soul into it. Like it means something to you.”
Her lips twitched into the faintest smile, one that didn’t reach her eyes. “I wasn’t aware Sign of the Times was a soul song.”
She didn’t mean that, not really. It was a song of his that she enjoyed, she liked the 70’s elements he took, the way his voice sounded with the instruments in the back—but he was getting under her skin, he deserved the same.
Mitch coughed to hide his laugh.
Harry’s jaw clenched. “You know what I mean.”
“Do I?”
The tension in the room was palpable now, a live wire crackling between them. Mitch stood off to the side, quietly restringing his guitar, pretending not to notice.
Harry took a deep breath, his tone softening. “Look, I just need it t’feel real. Like you’re part of it, not just playing over it.”
She stared at him for a moment, her eyes narrowing slightly. “Alright.”
She picked up her guitar again and launched into the song before anyone could say another word. This time, her playing wasn’t just technically perfect—it was angry. The notes tore through the air, raw and sharp, as if she were trying to prove a point with every riff.
He watched her, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. He couldn’t deny it sounded good—better than good—but there was something about her attitude that made him want to push back harder.
By the time they reached the last song of the set, the air in the room was thick with frustration.
Mitch played the opening riff, his fingers gliding effortlessly over the strings, and YN followed with her part. Her playing was looser now, more natural, but the tension in her shoulders hadn’t eased.
When they finished, Harry didn’t say anything right away. He stood there, staring at her, his lips pressed into a thin line.
“Well?” she asked, her voice clipped.
“S’fine,” he said, his tone careful.
“Fine?”
“You’re improving,” he clarified, though the words felt begrudging.
She laughed under her breath, shaking her head. “Good to know I’m living up to your impossible standards.”
Harry bristled. “It’s not impossible to ask for some effort.”
“Effort?” Her voice rose slightly. “I’ve been putting in effort since I walked through that door, but all you’ve done is nitpick every single thing I do.”
“Because I know what this show needs!”
“No, you know what you need,” she shot back. “This isn’t about the music—it’s about your ego.”
The words hit like a slap. Mitch’s guitar strap slipped from his shoulder as he froze, watching the scene unfold.
Harry’s expression darkened. “If my ego were the problem, you wouldn’t be here.”
The room went silent.
YN’s gaze didn’t waver. “Right. Well, maybe you should’ve thought about that before you dragged me into this.”
She slung her guitar over her shoulder and walked toward the door, her sneakers squeaking against the floor.
“Where are you going?” Harry called after her.
She paused, her hand on the doorknob. “Taking a break. Unless you have a problem with that too.”
Before he could respond, the door swung shut behind her.
Mitch set his guitar down and looked at Harry, his expression unreadable. “You’re really bad at this, you know that?” he said finally.
Harry glared at him. “At what?”
“Not making her hate you.”
Harry sighed, running a hand through his hair. “She doesn’t hate me.”
Mitch raised an eyebrow. “And the sky isn’t blue.”
He didn’t reply. He sat down on the edge of the stage, his shoulders slumping slightly. He wasn’t used to being challenged like this, and it was throwing him off balance.
Mitch leaned against the amp, watching him. “You know, you don’t have to like her. You just have to work with her.”
“I know.” 
“Then stop pushing her so hard. She’s already good enough for this tour—you’re the one who needs to let go a bit.”
He didn’t say anything, but the knot in his chest tightened. He wasn’t sure if it was frustration or something else entirely.
Outside, YN leaned against the wall, her cigarette glowing faintly in the dim light. She exhaled slowly, her breath visible in the cool evening air.
She wasn’t sure what was worse—working with Harry or wanting to prove him wrong so badly it made her chest ache.
She took another drag and let the thought dissolve in the smoke.
September third
The studio was quiet now, the hum of amps and chatter of the band long gone. The others had left half an hour ago, leaving YN to pack up her gear in peace. She moved deliberately, her hands steady despite the exhaustion settling deep in her bones.
The rehearsal had been grueling. Harry had pushed harder than ever, his sharp critiques grating on her nerves until every strum of her guitar felt like a defiance. She wasn’t sure if he noticed—or cared—but by the end of the session, she’d felt like she was one wrong note away from throwing her guitar through a wall.
Now, alone with the quiet, she could finally breathe.
Until she wasn’t alone.
The sound of footsteps echoed behind her, and YN stiffened, glancing over her shoulder to see Harry stepping back into the room. He had swapped his stage shoes for sneakers, the cuffs of his trousers rolled slightly at the ankles. His sweater was slung over one shoulder, and the faint sheen of sweat on his neck suggested he hadn’t been gone long.
“Forgot m’notebook,” he said, his voice casual as his eyes scanned the room.
“Lucky me,” she muttered, turning back to her guitar.
He didn’t reply, but she could feel his presence as he crossed the space, moving toward the table where his things were scattered.
YN focused on wrapping her cable, each loop tight and precise. She wasn’t in the mood for small talk, not after the day they’d had.
But Harry didn’t leave.
The silence stretched, heavy and charged, as he lingered near the table. YN’s movements slowed, her frustration bubbling to the surface.
“Something you need?” she asked, not bothering to mask the edge in her voice.
When he didn’t answer right away, she turned to face him, her hands still clutching the coiled cable.
Harry was watching her, his notebook forgotten on the table. His eyes were sharp, unreadable, and the weight of his gaze made her stomach twist uncomfortably.
“You were pushing today,” he said finally, his tone measured.
She blinked, caught off guard. “Excuse me?”
“During rehearsal,” he clarified, crossing his arms. “You weren’t playing like y’normally do.”
“Maybe I was just tired.” She countered, though the words felt like a lie even as she said them.
“You weren’t tired,” he said softly.
Her jaw tightened. “What do you want, Harry? If you’re here to critique me again, save it. I’ve heard enough for one day.”
His brow furrowed, but he didn’t rise to the bait. Instead, he stepped closer, his movements deliberate but unthreatening. “I wasn’t trying t’pick on you,” he breathed, his voice quieter now. “If that’s how it felt, I’m sorry.”
YN stared at him, her mind struggling to reconcile the words with the man who’d spent months nitpicking every note she played.
“Why do you care?” she asked, the question slipping out before she could stop it.
He hesitated, his lips pressing into a thin line as he looked at her. “Because I need this to work.”
His words landed heavily between them, and for a moment, the room felt too small.
“You act like it’s just me,” she said finally, her voice quieter but still tinged with frustration. “Like I’m the only thing keeping it from working.”
“I don’t think that,” he said quickly, his eyes locking onto hers. “You’re good—better than good. That’s not the problem.”
“Then what is?”
He exhaled slowly, dragging a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s me.”
YN froze, her breath catching at the raw honesty in his voice. She hadn’t expected that—not from him.
The silence between them grew heavier, the tension coiling tighter with every passing second.
Harry’s gaze dropped briefly, like he was searching for the right words. When he looked back up, there was something different in his expression, something softer but no less intense.
“You frustrate me,” he said finally, the words low but certain.
YN’s throat went dry. “Right back at you.”
He took another step closer, and this time, she didn’t move away. Her heart pounded as she looked up at him, her chest tightening under the weight of his stare.
Neither of them spoke, the silence crackling with unspoken words.
She didn’t know who leaned in first—maybe it was him, or maybe it was her—but suddenly the space between them was almost nonexistent. She could feel the warmth of his breath, see the faint flicker of hesitation in his eyes as he lingered just close enough to touch.
Her pulse thundered in her ears, and her fingers curled into the coiled cable in her hand, desperate for something to hold onto.
“Harry,” she whispered, though she wasn’t sure if it was a warning or an invitation.
The sound of his name seemed to pull him back, his eyes searching hers for a fleeting moment before he stepped away.
“I should go.” 
He grabbed his notebook and left without another word, the door clicking shut behind him.
YN stood there, her heart still racing, the ghost of his presence lingering in the air.
Whatever had just happened—whatever had almost happened—she wasn’t sure what to do with it.
September nineteenth
San Francisco was humming.
The Masonic sat perched atop Nob Hill like a jewel overlooking the city, its art deco façade catching the early morning light. By dawn, the line of fans already snaked around the block, blankets and camp chairs scattered across the sidewalk. A faint fog clung to the streets, giving the historic building an ethereal quality as the first rays of sunlight broke through.
It was opening night of Harry’s solo tour, and the air outside the venue was electric.
Groups of fans huddled close, wrapped in scarves and oversized sweatshirts, their conversations a steady hum of anticipation. Some clutched homemade signs or albums, while others leaned against the building, scrolling through their phones to pass the hours.
Inside the venue, it was chaos.
The crew had been there since 6 am, unloading crates of equipment, running cables like veins along the stage. Monitors were stacked, adjusted, then adjusted again. Lights were tested until they bathed the empty floor in saturated pinks and golds. A countdown clock blinked red backstage, a digital reminder that time was slipping through the cracks, too fast and too slow all at once.
By 10 am, the band was in full rehearsal mode, locked in a cycle of repetition and frustration. YN perched on a stool near the edge of the stage, her guitar resting against her thighs, the strap digging into her shoulder. Mitch was on her left, his head bent over his guitar, fingers moving like smoke over the frets. The two of them had been working together for months now, tight and efficient, a partnership forged in long hours and shared cigarettes.
Harry stood center stage, mic in hand, dressed like he hadn’t quite decided if he wanted to be a rock star or a poet today. He wore a loose black blouse unbuttoned to his sternum, tucked into tailored trousers that hung just right. His boots clacked against the floor as he paced, his movements restless, his voice sharp as glass when he spoke.
“Stop, stop,” he sighed, waving his free hand. “It’s off. That transition’s not right.”
She bit down on her tongue. It wasn’t off. She knew it wasn’t off. But Harry had a way of finding faults where there weren’t any, like he needed to pick at something just to prove he could.
Mitch glanced at her, a subtle flick of his eyes that said, Don’t.
She ignored him.
“It’s not the transition,” she jutted her chin, her voice cutting through the murmur of techs and assistants scurrying around the stage. “The timing’s fine. It’s your entrance that’s late.”
He turned to her slowly, the mic dangling from his fingers like a threat. “Oh, is it?” he asked, his tone light, almost amused, but his jaw was tight. “You sure about that?”
YN met his gaze, unflinching. “Positive.”
For a moment, the only sound was the faint hum of an amp in the background. Harry didn’t say anything, just tipped his head slightly, his lips curving into something that wasn’t quite a smile. Then he turned back to the band. “Alright,” he paused, his voice smooth again, commanding. “Run it from the top.”
Mitch exhaled, a quiet sound that YN barely caught. She didn’t look at him. Instead, she adjusted the strap on her guitar and settled her fingers on the fretboard, ready for another round of the same song they’d played fifteen times already.
By noon, the tension was palpable.
Lunch was a quick affair, eaten standing in the dim backstage area while techs rushed past with tangled cords and boxes of equipment. She leaned against a speaker case, picking at a dry sandwich, her guitar propped up against her leg. Across the room, Harry was surrounded by his usual orbit of stylists and assistants, his laugh ringing out every now and then, low and easy. He looked completely unbothered, like he wasn’t the reason half the band was on edge.
Mitch sat down next to her, his plate balanced precariously on his knee.
“You’ve got to let it go,” he said quietly, not looking up from his food.
“Let what go?” She asked, feigning innocence.
He gave her a flat look. “You and Harry. The little pissing contest you’ve got going on.”
“There’s no contest,” she shrugged, taking a bite of her sandwich. “I already won.”
Mitch snorted, but he didn’t argue.
By 5 pm, the soundcheck was over, and the venue was nearly ready. The stage lights cast long, dramatic shadows across the room, making everything feel larger than life. Outside, the crowd had grown to hundreds, their voices rising in bursts of cheers every time someone peeked out from behind the curtains.
Backstage, the dressing rooms were a flurry of last-minute preparations. Harry was in his dressing room, a blur of motion as his stylist fussed over his outfit. A floral suit hung on a rack nearby, catching the light like a disco ball.
In her own space, YN was tightening a loose screw on her guitar, her fingers moving with practiced ease. Her nerves were starting to hum, a low undercurrent she couldn’t quite shake. This was her first tour—her first real tour in a set band, a member, belonging—and it felt like walking a tightrope with no safety net.
A knock on the door pulled her out of her thoughts.
“Come in,” she called, not looking up.
The door creaked open, and Harry stepped inside, his presence filling the small room like a gust of wind.
YN froze for half a second before returning to her task.“What do you want?” she asked, not bothering to hide the edge in her voice.
Harry leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms. “Just checking in,” he said, his tone deceptively casual. “You ready for tonight?”
She glanced at him, her expression unreadable. “Are you?”
His lips twitched, like he was fighting a smile. “Always.”
For a moment, they just stared at each other, the air between them crackling with unspoken tension. Then Harry pushed off the doorframe and straightened, his eyes lingering on her for a beat longer than necessary.
“See you out there,” he mumbled, and then he was gone, leaving the room feeling smaller and heavier than before.
By eight, the doors had opened, and the crowd was pouring in, filling the venue with a rush of energy that seemed to seep into the walls. Backstage, the band was gathered in a tight circle, their instruments tuned, their game faces on.
Harry stood at the center, his suit catching the light, his presence commanding as he gave a short pep talk. YN stood slightly to the side, her fingers tapping an uneven rhythm against her thigh. She barely listened to his words, too focused on the sound of the crowd beyond the curtains, their cheers swelling like a tidal wave.
When the house lights dimmed, the noise was deafening.
As the band took their places on stage, the roar of the audience hit her like a physical force. The spotlight burned bright, blinding her for a moment as she adjusted to the sheer magnitude of it all.
Harry stepped forward, his silhouette outlined in pinks and gold as he grabbed the mic stand. The crowd went feral, their screams rising to a fever pitch as he flashed that grin, the one that could disarm even the sharpest tongue.
He didn’t speak, he didn’t need to—the crowd did that for him. 
YN’s fingers hovered over the strings of her guitar, her pulse thrumming in time with the cheers.
And then the music began.
It was loud and raw and electric, the kind of sound that sank its teeth into you and didn’t let go. The stage pulsed with life, the crowd moving like a single, writhing entity, their hands reaching for something intangible.
Harry owned the stage, his presence magnetic, his voice weaving through the room like a spell. YN played like she had something to prove, her fingers dancing over the strings with precision and fire. For all their clashes, for all the sharp words and narrowed eyes, when they played together, it was seamless.
Perfect, even.
And maybe that was the problem.
The stage felt alive. No, not alive. Hungry. Like it had been waiting for this moment, this crowd, and it wouldn’t be satisfied until every single body in the Masonic was consumed by the music.
YN’s sneakers scuffed against the stage floor as she adjusted her stance, fingers flying over the strings of her guitar. The heat of the lights was a constant pressure on her skin, beads of sweat forming at her temples and sliding down the back of her neck. But she didn’t care. Not about the lights, or the heat, or the way her thighs ached from standing so long.
She was falling in love—with the music, with the electricity in the air, with the way the crowd moved like a living organism, surging and crashing like waves in sync with every beat of the drums.
The screams had been deafening from the start, a tsunami of sound that swelled every time Harry leaned into the mic, his voice wrapping around the room and pulling it taut. He worked the crowd like a master, every glance, every laugh, every sway of his hips sending the audience into hysterics.
She wasn’t immune.
She hated to admit it, but she felt it too—that gravitational pull, that magnetic charisma that seemed to pour out of him effortlessly. She caught herself watching him when she shouldn’t, her eyes flicking to the way his shoulders moved under the sharp lines of his pretty suit, the easy way he gripped the mic stand like it was an extension of his body.
And every so often, he’d glance at her.
Not a passing look. A moment.
It would last half a beat longer than it should, his eyes catching hers under the wash of the stage lights. She couldn’t tell if he was teasing her, challenging her, or something else entirely. But it was enough to make her fingers stumble once, the wrong note ringing out for a split second before she recovered.
If Harry noticed, he didn’t show it.
The setlist was relentless. The kind of music that made you feel like your heart was going to explode, like you couldn’t keep up and didn’t want to. The kind of music that made YN forget she was supposed to hate the guy running the show.
“Alright,” Harry said into the mic, his voice lower now, intimate, like he was sharing a secret with each and every person in the crowd. “I want to slow it down for a bit. Let’s make this next one special, yeah?”
The audience erupted, their cheers shaking the walls.
She let herself glance up, just once, and there he was.
Harry stood center stage, his eyes sweeping over the crowd like he could memorize every face. And then his gaze found hers. It pinned her, held her still even as her hands moved over the strings with practiced ease. He didn’t smile this time, didn’t smirk or tease. His expression was soft, unreadable, like he was trying to figure her out and didn’t quite know how.
YN looked away first, focusing on her guitar, on the warmth of the strings under her fingers. But she felt his eyes linger, even as he turned back to the crowd, his voice slipping into the melody.
The audience swayed, their voices blending with his, turning the room into one collective heartbeat. She could feel it under her skin, in her chest, this pulsing connection between the stage and the people who filled the seats. She couldn’t explain it, but it made her chest ache, a hollow kind of ache that was somehow beautiful.
She wasn’t just falling in love with the crowd—she was falling in love with the way they loved him. The way their energy fed into his, creating this endless loop of give and take. It was magnetic, intoxicating, and she hated how much she wanted to be part of it.
As the show reached its climax, the band hit the frenetic rhythm of kiwi. The crowd lost their minds, screaming and jumping in unison as the pounding bassline and frantic guitars drove the song forward like a freight train.
Harry was in his element now, prowling the stage like a lion in a cage, his energy sharp and electric. He threw himself into the song with reckless abandon, his voice raw, his body moving like it was possessed by the music.
She felt it too, her fingers sliding over the strings with an intensity she didn’t know she was capable of. She played like she wanted to leave a mark, like she wanted the crowd to feel every note down to their bones.
Harry spun toward her at one point, his eyes catching hers as he sang.
All over me it’s like I paid for it, like I paid for it—I’m gonna pay for this
The line wasn’t even hers, maybe thrown toward her, sure, but the way he locked eyes with her as he belted it made her throat tighten. There was something feral about the way he looked at her, something that sent a jolt of adrenaline straight to her chest.
She didn’t look away this time.
By the time the last note of the encore faded into the ether, the crowd was still screaming, still begging for more. Harry stood at the edge of the stage, his hands pressed together in a gesture of thanks, his smile wide and genuine.
YN hung back, her guitar still slung over her shoulder, her chest heaving from the exertion of the last few songs. She watched him bask in the adoration of the crowd, the way they screamed his name like a prayer.
And for the first time, she felt it too.
That pull. That strange, inexplicable magnetism that made it impossible to look away.
The final notes of the encore still buzzed in her ears as she followed the band offstage, the roar of the crowd trailing behind them like an echo that refused to fade. Her body ached in places she didn’t know could ache—her fingers stiff from hours of playing, her calves burning from the constant movement—but the adrenaline still surged, making her feel weightless and untouchable.
She had done it. They had done it.
The opening night had gone off like a firework, every moment exploding brighter and louder than the last. From the first chord to the final bow, it had been electric. And for once, she didn’t feel like just another cog in the machine. On that stage, with the lights scorching her skin and the crowd’s energy feeding her soul, she felt like a part of something massive. Something alive.
And Harry—despite everything—had been a part of that.
They’d had moments up there, brief but undeniable, where their music seemed to sync in ways their personalities couldn’t. He’d looked at her like she was the only other person in the room, and she’d felt it, that spark. That rare kind of connection that made everything else fade into static.
She thought maybe he’d felt it too.
Backstage was a flurry of chaos, but it was the kind of chaos that came with relief. Crew members slapped high-fives, a few whooped into the cavernous space, and Mitch grinned at her as they stowed their gear.
“That was something, huh?” he said, leaning back against the wall, his guitar case resting at his feet.
“Yeah,” she said, breathless. “It really was.”
Her eyes darted toward Harry, who was standing in the middle of it all, his floral suit catching the dim light of the hallway. He was talking to a few crew members, his laugh echoing down the corridor, easy and loud.
YN lingered on the edge of the group, still cradling her guitar, waiting for him to glance her way. Say something. Anything.
But he didn’t.
Instead, he clapped Mitch on the shoulder as he passed by, murmured something low and warm to the bassist, then disappeared down the hallway, flanked by his manager and stylist.
Her stomach sank.
Seriously?
The after-party was just as loud as the show, a whirlwind of congratulatory cheers and glasses clinking in a private room at some sleek hotel downtown. The crew was there, the band, a few industry types YN didn’t recognize but figured she should. She was used to this kind of thing—small, exclusive, the kind of celebration that was more about appearances than fun—but tonight it felt different.
She stuck close to Mitch for most of it, nursing a vodka sour and letting the buzz of conversation wash over her.
“Relax,” Mitch said at one point, leaning against the bar beside her. “You look like you’re still waiting for the second set to start.”
“I’m good.” She mumbled a little too quickly.
His brow arched, but he didn’t press.
Across the room, Harry was the center of attention, as always. He moved through the crowd like he belonged there, laughing and chatting like he hadn’t just poured himself out on stage for hours. She couldn’t help but watch him, the way people gravitated toward him, how he seemed to light up every corner of the room he stepped into.
But he didn’t look at her. Not once.
She tried not to let it bother her, but it did.
After everything on stage, after every glance, every unspoken connection, it felt like he was intentionally keeping his distance. Like he’d flipped some invisible switch, cutting her off before she could even figure out what had changed.
By the time the party wound down, YN had had enough. She slipped out quietly, her guitar case slung over her shoulder, and headed for the lobby. The cool night air hit her like a slap when she stepped outside, the noise of the party muffled behind the heavy glass doors.
She stood there for a moment, letting the city’s chaos replace the strange hollowness that had settled in her chest.
She didn’t know why she’d expected something different from him. He was Harry Styles, after all—the man who could command a room with a smirk, who probably had a million other things on his mind besides her.
But still, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted tonight.
Maybe it was the crowd, or the way the music had felt like it was tying them together in ways they didn’t quite understand. Maybe it was the way he’d looked at her, like she was part of it, part of him.
Or maybe she was imagining it all.
She sighed, adjusting her grip on the guitar case as she started down the empty street toward her hotel.
Behind her, the sound of the door opening and closing made her stop.
But when she turned, it wasn’t him.
It was just some random guest stepping out for a smoke, their lighter flaring briefly in the dark.
She shook her head and kept walking.
The morning after opening night started with a headache.
The alarm went off at five, its shrill tone slicing through the still-dark San Francisco hotel room. YN groaned as she rolled over and slapped it off, her limbs heavy with the weight of too little sleep and too much tension. Her body ached from the show—her fingers stiff, her shoulders sore—but the adrenaline still hadn’t completely worn off.
She dressed in silence, pulling on denim shorts and an oversized hoodie, her hair shoved under a worn baseball cap. By the time she dragged her case and bookbag downstairs, the lobby was already filled with half-awake crew members milling around with to-go coffees and luggage carts. The band gathered near the hotel entrance, everyone moving slow, bleary-eyed.
Everyone but Harry.
He stood near the glass doors, sunglasses perched on his nose even though it was still too early for sunlight. His outfit—effortlessly tailored black slacks and black tee, paired with boots that clacked against the marble floor—looked like it belonged in a photoshoot, not a cramped tour bus ride down the coast. His hair was artfully disheveled, like it had been tousled by the same wind that carried his confidence.
YN hated that he didn’t look tired. He looked perfect, unbothered, untouchable.
And, true to form, he didn’t acknowledge her.
Not directly, anyway.
“Morning, Mitch,” Harry nodded, his voice smooth and low as he greeted the guitarist with a clap on the shoulder. He grinned at Sarah and made some easy joke that had her laughing quietly, her coffee held close to her chest.
She stood off to the side, shifting her weight between her feet, watching the scene unfold like an outsider looking through a frosted window.
She thought about last night. About how he’d looked at her on stage like the world had narrowed to just the two of them. About how he hadn’t spoken a single word to her after.
She didn’t understand it. She didn’t understand him.
“Let’s get moving,” their tour manager barked, clapping his hands. “Bus leaves in five.”
YN grabbed her things and followed the group outside, the cool morning air biting at her cheeks as they made their way toward the waiting bus.
The ride to Los Angeles was tense in the worst kind of way.
She had claimed a window seat near the middle of the bus, her headphones cranked up to drown out the low hum of conversation around her. She stared out at the Pacific Coast Highway, the ocean stretching endlessly to the right, the cliffs jagged and wild to the left. It should’ve been peaceful, beautiful even, but she couldn’t focus on anything but the gnawing irritation in her chest.
Harry was sitting three rows ahead, leaned back in his seat with one arm slung lazily over the headrest. He was talking to Sarah again, his voice low enough that YN couldn’t hear the words, but the sound of it still grated on her nerves.
She wasn’t sure why she cared so much. She didn’t want to care.
If he wanted to ignore her, fine. She could ignore him right back.
By the time they reached LA, the tension had evolved into a quiet kind of war.
At the Greek Theater, the crew unloaded equipment, their movements brisk and practiced as they prepared for soundcheck. The sun blazed down on the open-air amphitheater, turning the white seats into a blinding sea of light.
YN was on edge, her patience wearing thinner with every passing hour. He still hadn’t spoken to her, not even in passing. He was polite, distant, the way he’d been before opening night. Like nothing had changed. Like he hadn’t spent the night before throwing glances her way that felt like they could peel her apart.
When he handed out notes during rehearsal, she barely looked at him, keeping her responses clipped and indifferent.
“Got it,” she muttered after one of his suggestions, her tone flat as she adjusted her guitar strap.
Harry blinked at her, his lips twitching into something that might have been surprise. “Good,” he said after a beat, turning his attention to Mitch without another word.
By the time the soundcheck wrapped, She was biting the inside of her cheek so hard it felt raw.
Later, while the rest of the band lingered backstage before the show, YN found herself leaning against the rail of the amphitheater, staring out at the empty seats. The sun had started to dip below the horizon, painting the sky in deep purples and oranges.
She didn’t hear him approach.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?”
The voice startled her, and she turned to find Harry standing a few feet away, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his trousers.
“Yeah.” She breathed, her voice guarded. She didn’t move closer.
He didn’t say anything else, just stood there, his gaze fixed on the horizon. The silence between them stretched, heavy and awkward.
“Something you need?” she asked finally, her tone sharper than she intended.
Harry’s head tilted slightly, his sunglasses reflecting the fading light.
“Just checking in.”
It felt like a lie.
“I’m good, Harry” She mumbled, turning back toward the stage.
He didn’t respond, and when she glanced over her shoulder a few moments later, he was already walking away.
Her fingers tightened around the rail, her chest heavy with frustration she couldn’t quite name.
She hated this.
Hated the way he could make her feel so small, so seen, then turn around and act like she didn’t exist.
It was like trying to hold onto water. The harder she gripped, the faster it slipped through her fingers.
-
Harry stood at the edge of the stage, soaking it all in. He bowed low, his sequined shirt catching the light, a grin breaking across his face. To the crowd, he was untouchable—a god in Gucci.
She followed Mitch and Sarah offstage, her steps quick and mechanical. She could feel Harry trailing behind them, his presence heavy even when she couldn’t see him.
Backstage was chaos, as it always was after a show, but it didn’t faze YN. She moved through the crowd of crew members and assistants like a ghost, ignoring the chatter, the congratulatory smiles.
Her heart was still racing, the adrenaline from the performance twisting into something darker, something restless.
“You good?”
Mitch’s voice cut through the haze. He was leaning against the wall, his guitar case already packed, his expression calm but curious.
“Yeah.” 
Lie.
Harry entered the dressing room a few minutes later, his presence shifting the energy in the space instantly.
He was laughing at something Sarah had said, his voice loud and warm, but the sound grated against YN’s nerves. She kept her back to him, pretending to be busy adjusting a loose string on her guitar.
She felt him glance her way—she could feel it—but she didn’t turn around.
Two could play this game.
And so, the bus ride back to the hotel was unbearable.
YN had claimed a seat near the back, her headphones on, her gaze fixed on the passing city lights outside the window. She could see Harry a few rows ahead, his arm draped casually over the back of his seat as he chatted with the others.
He hadn’t spoken to her all night, and now, sitting there in his own bubble of easy conversation and laughter, it was like she didn’t exist.
Her frustration simmered, bubbling just below the surface.
She replayed the show in her head, each pointed glance, each lyric he’d aimed at her like an arrow. It felt like he was trying to send a message, but she couldn’t decipher it.
Was he angry with her? Was this some kind of punishment? Or was he just playing a game she didn’t know the rules to?
She clenched her jaw and turned up the volume on her music, drowning out the sound of his voice.
By the time they reached the hotel, her nerves were shot.
She practically stormed off the bus, her guitar case banging against her thigh as she made her way to the elevators.
The band and crew trailed behind her, their voices a low hum of exhaustion and contentment. Harry was in the middle of the group, laughing softly at something Mitch had said.
YN pressed the elevator button harder than she needed to, willing it to come faster. She didn’t know if she was more angry or confused. Maybe both.
The elevator doors slid open, and she stepped inside, leaning against the wall and closing her eyes as the others piled in.
She felt him before she saw him.
Harry stepped in last, taking a spot in the corner opposite her. He didn’t look at her, didn’t say a word, but his presence filled the small space like smoke, curling around her, suffocating.
The silence stretched as the elevator ascended, the soft ding of each passing floor the only sound.
When the doors opened on her floor, YN didn’t wait for anyone to move. She pushed past them, her guitar case bumping against Harry’s shin as she stepped out.
“Careful.” He muttered under his breath, the word low but deliberate.
YN froze, her grip tightening on the case. She turned back, her jaw tight, her voice barely above a whisper “You were in the way.”
Harry’s eyes flicked up to meet hers, and for a moment, the tension between them was almost unbearable.
But then he smiled. That infuriating, lopsided grin that always seemed to carry a thousand meanings “Goodnight, YN.” he breathed, his tone maddeningly calm.
And just like that, the elevator doors closed, taking him with it.
She stood there in the empty hallway, her chest heaving, her hands trembling against the strap of her guitar case.
She hated him.
And she hated that she didn’t.
Nashville hit like a fever dream.
The kind of heat that stuck to your skin and turned the air thick, every breath tasting like concrete and sweat. YN stepped off the plane and into the chaos of arrivals, her carry-on slung over one shoulder and her nerves buzzing like a live wire. The overhead announcements droned on, blending with the chatter of passengers and the whir of suitcase wheels.
Behind her, the band followed, each of them bleary-eyed but quiet, the exhaustion of constant travel settling into their bones. They’d left Los Angeles behind with barely enough time to breathe, and now they were here. Another city. Another show.
Harry was in the middle of it all, of course.
He strode through the airport like he owned it, dressed in a casual white t-shirt and plaid trousers, his sunglasses pushed up into his messy hair. His carry-on was slung lazily over his shoulder, the strap resting on a ringed hand, and he moved with the kind of effortless ease that YN had learned to despise.
She hated how calm he looked. How composed. Like he hadn’t spent the last two days pulling the same infuriating routine—ignoring her during rehearsals, barely acknowledging her existence outside of the necessary, and throwing her those strange, pointed glances on stage.
She adjusted the strap of her own bag and turned away from him, focusing on the bustling terminal as they followed the signs toward baggage claim.
By the time they made it outside, the air was heavy with humidity, the sun dipping low on the horizon and casting long shadows across the tarmac. Their bus waited near the curb, sleek and black, the driver already loading their checked equipment and luggage into the belly of the vehicle.
YN stepped aside to let Mitch and Sarah board first, leaning against the side of the bus and tugging her baseball cap lower over her eyes. She was tired. Bone-tired. And the thought of spending another night in close quarters with Harry’s infuriating silence made her chest feel tight.
“YN.”
His voice came from behind her, low and steady, and it made her stomach flip in a way she refused to acknowledge.
She turned to find Harry standing a few feet away, his bag slung carelessly over his shoulder. He wasn’t wearing his sunglasses now, and his green eyes caught the soft light of evening, sharp and clear.
“Yeah?” she sighed, her tone flat.
Harry blinked at her, like he hadn’t expected her to answer. “I, uh…” He hesitated, running a hand through his hair. “You left this.”
He held out a small notebook, the worn leather cover instantly recognizable. YN’s stomach twisted. She didn’t even realize she’d forgotten it.
“Thanks.” She mumbled, reaching for it. Their fingers brushed, and the contact sent a shiver down her spine. She snatched the notebook quickly, shoving it into her bag.
For a moment, neither of them said anything. Harry shifted his weight, his gaze flicking past her to the bus, like he was trying to find an escape route.
“Long flight,” he said finally, the words almost awkward.
She raised an eyebrow. “You’re making small talk now?”
His mouth twitched—something between a smirk and a grimace. “Just trying t’be polite.” His voice was low, almost teasing.
She didn’t know why that annoyed her so much. “Well, don’t strain yourself,” she shot back, her words sharper than she intended.
Harry’s expression shifted, the teasing edge dropping away. For a moment, he looked at her like he wanted to say something, something important, but then he just shook his head.
“Right.” he said softly. “Good t’know where we stand.”
Before she could respond, he turned and climbed onto the bus, leaving her standing there in the heavy Nashville air, her pulse thundering in her ears.
She clenched her jaw, gripping the strap of her bag so tight it hurt.
What the hell was that supposed to mean?
With a frustrated sigh, she followed him onto the bus, determined to avoid him for the rest of the night.
The hotel lobby was as tired as YN felt—dimly lit, decorated in muted earth tones that looked like they hadn’t been updated since the 90s. A long line of leather couches stretched across one side, mostly empty now that the band and crew had already checked in and trudged upstairs to collapse into their rooms.
She stood at the reception desk, trying to ignore the looming presence of Harry a few feet behind her as she slid her ID across the polished counter.
She croaked out her first and last name, her voice tight with exhaustion. “Should be a reservation under that.”
The receptionist, a young woman with tired eyes and a forced smile, tapped at her keyboard. For a moment, YN let herself hope this would go smoothly.
“Ah…” the woman began, her smile faltering as she looked up at her apologetically. “It seems there’s been an error in the system.”
Her stomach sank. “What kind of error?”
“It looks like…” The receptionist squinted at her screen, then back at YN. “Your booking and Mr. Styles’ booking were combined. There’s only one room reserved for both of you.”
She blinked, certain she must have misheard. “What?”
“One room,” the woman repeated, her voice overly kind, like she was delivering bad news to a child.
A low sound from behind her drew YN’s attention, and she turned to see Harry standing there, his lips twitching into the faintest hint of a smirk.
“Of course,” he muttered, more to himself than to her.
YN turned back to the receptionist, her pulse spiking with frustration. “Okay, well, can you fix it? Book me another room?”
The woman winced. “I’m so sorry, but we’re completely booked out. Between your show and a large business conference in town, there’s nothing available.”
“Nothing?”
The receptionist shook her head. “Nothing.”
YN stared at her for a long moment, hoping that if she stood there long enough, a solution would magically present itself. When it didn’t, she let out a slow breath, trying to keep her voice calm. “Okay, then I’ll sleep on the tour bus,” she said finally, her tone clipped.
“I wouldn’t recommend that,” the receptionist replied, her voice filled with polite concern. “It’s not very safe overnight, and the temperatures are supposed to drop quite a bit.”
YN’s jaw clenched. She didn’t care about the temperature. She cared about not being stuck in a hotel room with Harry Styles for an entire night.
“You can take the bed,” Harry said suddenly, his voice low and casual.
She whipped around to look at him, her exhaustion briefly replaced by irritation. “Excuse me?”
“You can take the bed,” he repeated, his hands shoved into the pockets of his trousers. He didn’t look tired like she did; if anything, he looked almost amused. “I’ll take the couch. Problem solved.”
His eyebrows lifted, but he didn’t continue the way she half-expected him to. He acknowledged her silence with a shrug. “Suit yourself.”
YN turned back to the receptionist, her last shred of hope dying as the woman gave her a small, helpless smile.
“I really am sorry,” the receptionist said.
“Yeah,” She muttered, grabbing her room key off the counter. “Me too.”
The elevator ride to their shared room was suffocating.
She stood with her arms crossed, leaning against the back wall, her eyes fixed on the digital floor numbers ticking upward. He stood on the opposite side, his hands still in his pockets, his gaze fixed somewhere over her shoulder.
She could feel the tension between them, thick and heavy, like it had been building all day.
When the elevator dinged and the doors slid open, she practically bolted into the hallway, her shoes squeaking slightly against the polished floor as she found their room and slid the keycard into the lock.
The room was small but clean, decorated in the same neutral tones as the lobby. There was one queen-sized bed, a narrow couch by the window, and a small desk tucked into the corner.
YN set her bag down near the door, letting out a long breath. This was going to be a long night.
Harry stepped in behind her, the door clicking shut softly as he took in the room. “Well,” he said after a beat, his voice laced with dry humor. “Cozy.”
YN shot him a glare over her shoulder. “Don’t start.”
“I didn’t do anything,” he replied, raising his hands in mock innocence.
She rolled her eyes, grabbing her carry-on and unzipping it with more force than necessary. She pulled out her pajamas and stalked toward the bathroom, muttering under her breath.
“You’re welcome to take the bed!” Harry called after her.
She didn’t reply, only slamming the bathroom door behind her.
Inside, she leaned against the sink, gripping the edge tightly as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was a mess under her hat, her face flushed with irritation and exhaustion.
This was the last thing she needed.
She splashed cold water on her face, changed into her pajamas, and forced herself to take a deep breath before stepping back out into the room.
Harry was already sprawled out on the couch, his long legs dangling off one end, one arm draped lazily over his eyes. He looked too comfortable, like he wasn’t even remotely fazed by the situation.
“Goodnight, YN.” he smiled, his voice soft and teasing, muffled by his arm.
She didn’t bother replying, instead climbing into the bed and yanked the blanket up to her chin. She rolled onto her side, facing the wall, her back to him.
But even as she lay there in the dark, her body exhausted and her mind racing, she couldn’t ignore the steady sound of his breathing filling the room.
And somehow, that made sleep feel even further away.
The night dragged on like a bad song on repeat.
YN tossed and turned, the sheets tangling around her legs no matter how many times she tried to straighten them. The bed itself wasn’t the problem—it was soft enough, even if the pillows were too firm. The issue was the room. Or rather, the person in the room.
Harry’s breathing was steady and slow, almost annoyingly calm, like he had drifted off with zero trouble. The faint rustle of the blanket he’d pulled off the back of the couch only made it worse. She hated knowing he was just a few feet away, as oblivious and infuriating in sleep as he was awake.
Every time she closed her eyes, she could feel the weight of him in the room, like his presence was something tangible pressing against her skin. She could picture him sprawled out on the narrow couch, too long for it, his hair a wild mess against the pillow. He had to be uncomfortable, but of course, he made even that look effortless.
She clenched her teeth and turned over again, dragging the blanket over her head.
She must have fallen asleep at some point, because the next thing she knew, pale sunlight was streaming through the thin hotel curtains, casting faint patterns on the wall. The sound of movement drew her attention, and she rolled onto her back, blinking against the light.
Harry was already up.
He stood near the desk, pulling a fresh shirt over his head, the muscles in his back shifting under smooth skin. His hair stuck up in every direction, and there was a faint red line on his cheek, probably from the couch pillow.
YN groaned softly, her voice gravelly from sleep, and sat up.
He turned at the sound, his eyes catching hers for a split second before he gave her a lopsided smile. “Morning,” he rasped, voice low and rough.
She ignored the strange flutter in her chest and instead rubbed at her face, her palms digging into her eyes. “What time is it?”
“Just past seven,” Harry replied, glancing at his watch.
“Why are you up so early?” she asked, her voice still heavy with sleep.
“Couldn’t stay on that couch any longer,” he said with a shrug, running a hand through his hair. “Figured I’d let you sleep.”
She raised an eyebrow, more suspicious than grateful. “How thoughtful of you.”
Harry smirked, leaning against the desk. “I’m full of surprises.”
YN swung her legs over the side of the bed, the cool floor against her bare feet waking her up a little more. She glanced at the couch, the blanket crumpled in a heap at one end, and felt the tiniest pang of guilt. He might be irritating, but even she had to admit that couch looked like hell.
“Did you even sleep?” she asked, her voice softer now.
“Enough,” he said, brushing it off with a shrug. “You?”
She hesitated. She wanted to lie, to tell him she’d slept like a rock just to avoid giving him the satisfaction. But she was too tired to keep up the pretense. “Barely,” she muttered, running a hand through her hair.
Harry didn’t say anything, but his smirk softened into something else, something almost understanding. “We’ve got a couple hours before soundcheck,” he said after a beat, pushing off the desk. “I’ll grab coffee if y’want.”
She blinked at him, caught off guard by the offer.
“You’re being weirdly nice this morning,” she drawled, narrowing her eyes.
Harry grinned, all teeth. “Don’t get used to it.”
Before she could respond, he slipped out the door, leaving her sitting there in the quiet room, her heart beating just a little faster than it should have been.
When Harry returned twenty minutes later, carrying two steaming cups of coffee and a bag of pastries from the shop across the street, YN couldn’t bring herself to be annoyed.
But she didn’t thank him either.
She wasn’t sure why, but the tension between them felt different in the light of day. Lighter. Less suffocating. Still there, sure, but not as sharp.
She sipped her coffee in silence, watching as Harry lounged on the edge of the bed, scrolling lazily through his phone.
By ten that morning, they were at the Ryman.
The iconic auditorium was a cathedral of music, its wooden pews and high ceilings steeped in history. YN had played a lot of venues over the years, but this one felt different. Sacred, almost.
The crew was already bustling around the stage, running cables and testing equipment as the band took their places for a quick run-through. She strapped on her guitar and adjusted the amp settings, the familiarity of the process grounding her.
“Alright,” the stage manager called, his voice echoing in the empty hall. “Let’s run it from Carolina. Just a quick one, then you’re free for the day.”
Harry stepped up to the mic, giving a thumbs-up to the techs at the soundboard. His voice rang out clear and confident, slipping into the song like it was second nature.
YN played her part without thinking, her fingers moving easily over the strings. But she couldn’t help noticing the way Harry was watching her again.
It wasn’t as obvious as before—just the occasional glance, fleeting but deliberate, like he was checking her reaction to something she couldn’t quite place.
Her stomach twisted. She didn’t know if it was frustration or something else entirely.
They wrapped up soundcheck in record time, the stage manager dismissing them with a wave of his clipboard.
“Alright, folks. Enjoy your free day. Don’t get into too much trouble.”
The band dispersed quickly, everyone eager to make the most of the rare downtime. Sarah and Mitch mentioned something about finding a good barbecue spot, and within minutes, YN found herself standing outside the Ryman, squinting in the bright Tennessee sun.
She was about to head back toward the hotel when Harry’s voice stopped her.
“Hey, Hendrix.”
She turned to see him leaning against the tour bus, his sunglasses perched on his nose. She hummed in response, holding her hand above her eyes to shield the sun.
He grinned, his voice light and teasing. “You’re not gonna spend the whole day in the room, are you?”
“What’s it to you?”
“Nothing,” he said with a shrug, pushing off the bus. “Just thought you might want to come along.”
“Come along where?”
He slipped his hands into his pockets, tilting his head in that infuriatingly casual way he had. “I was thinking about exploring. But if you’d rather sulk in the hotel…”
She glared at him, her irritation mixing with reluctant curiosity. “I’m not sulking,” she muttered.
“Prove it.” His grin widened.
She sighed, weighing her options. She could spend the rest of the day alone, aimlessly wandering the city, or… she could let Harry drag her into whatever chaos he had planned.
Against her better judgment, she took a step closer.
“Fine.” she grumbled. “But if you annoy me, I’m leaving.”
Harry laughed, a warm sound that somehow made her chest feel lighter. “Deal.”
As they made their way through the streets of Nashville, YN couldn’t help but notice how easy it was to fall into step with him.
They wandered through the heart of downtown, the air thick with the sound of live music spilling out of honky-tonk bars and the faint smell of fried food. He seemed relaxed, his usual sharp edges dulled by the easy rhythm of the day.
They ducked into a record store, where Harry spent an obscene amount of time flipping through vinyls, offering commentary on the cover art of each one.
“Look at this,” he said, holding up a copy of Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours. He grinned at her, and for once, it felt less like a challenge and more like… something else.
YN raised an eyebrow as she glanced at the album he held up, the iconic cover staring back at her. “What about it?” she asked, folding her arms and leaning against the edge of the nearest display.
Harry’s grin shifted, softer now, almost boyish. “It’s a masterpiece. Don’t tell me you’ve never given it a proper listen.”
She rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress a small smirk. “Of course I’ve listened to it. Who hasn’t? Don’t go acting like you’ve discovered fire.”
“Ah, but have you really listened to it?” He stepped closer, tilting his head as he studied her expression like it might hold the answer. “Like, lying on the floor, headphones on, letting it ruin your entire mood?”
“That sounds unnecessarily dramatic.”
“Dramatic? YN, this album is a rite of passage. The Chain? That bassline alone deserves its own religion.”
She couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her, a quick, genuine sound that caught her off guard as much as it did him. “You’re ridiculous,” she muttered, shaking her head.
He looked pleased with himself, his grin stretching wider. “I’ll take that as a yes, then.”
“Take it however you want,” she shot back, moving past him to inspect a crate of blues records. Her fingers skimmed over the edges of the albums, her pulse oddly steady in the low hum of his company.
Harry hovered near, occasionally picking up a record and commenting on it. “You’re quiet,” he noted after a few minutes, his tone lighter than she’d expected.
“Just... looking,” she replied, hoping the words sounded casual enough.
“Looking for anything in particular?”
“No.” The lie came easily.
He didn’t press, and for once, she appreciated his silence. It gave her room to breathe, to figure out why the usual tension between them felt... different today. Lighter, maybe. Or maybe she was just imagining things.
After a moment, he spoke again, his voice quieter this time. “I like this, you know.”
She glanced up, caught off guard by the uncharacteristic sincerity in his tone. “Like what?”
“This.” He gestured between them, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. “Hanging out. You’re tolerable when y’not glaring at me.”
She blinked, unsure whether to laugh or scowl. “That’s your idea of a compliment?”
“Take it or leave it,” he said, his smirk returning but not fully masking the warmth behind it.
She rolled her eyes again but didn’t look away, and for a brief moment, the air between them shifted. The faint tension that always seemed to linger was still there, but it wasn’t sharp or heavy. It was something else entirely.
As the afternoon wore on, the tension that had been brewing between them seemed to fade, replaced by something quieter.
They grabbed lunch at a hole-in-the-wall diner Harry insisted on, where they shared a plate of fries and argued over whether ketchup or mayo was the superior dipping sauce.
“Ketchup,” YN said, dipping another fry.
Harry shook his head, mock disappointment written all over his face. “I expected better from you.”
She rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of her.
By the time they made their way back to the hotel, the sun was sinking low, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink. She felt lighter, like the weight of the past few days had lifted, if only for a little while.
As they reached the elevator, Harry glanced at her, his expression softer than she’d ever seen it.
“Thanks for coming along,” his voice was quiet but sincere.
She hesitated, surprised by the sudden vulnerability in his tone. “Yeah, well… it was better than sulking.”
He smiled.
The hotel room was quiet, the kind of stillness that settled into your bones and made you feel the weight of the day. After their spontaneous exploration of Nashville, she had parted ways with Harry in the hallway. He mentioned something about meeting up with Mitch, tossing her a casual, “See you later,” before disappearing down the corridor.
YN had nodded but hadn’t said much else. She wasn’t sure if she was relieved or annoyed that he was leaving for the night.
After a long shower, she tugged on an oversized band tee—some faded thing she’d thrifted years ago—and a pair of soft cotton shorts. Her damp hair clung to her shoulders as she padded barefoot around the room, her phone in one hand as she scrolled through texts from her family.
Dad: Don’t forget to drink water. You sound so busy. Call us when you have time.
Younger sibling: lol saw a vid of harry styles crowd at your show. how’s that going???
She smiled faintly at the last one, shaking her head as she typed a quick response.
It wasn’t until she’d tossed her phone onto the bedside table that she remembered the little stash she’d hidden away.
She opened her suitcase, digging past neatly folded shirts and random cables until her fingers brushed against an emptied bag-balm tin, where she hid a pre-roll. She grinned to herself, pulling it out along with the battered cherry red lighter she always kept with it.
YN grabbed her guitar and wandered to the deep window sill, settling into it like a cat in the sun. She pushed the window all the way up, the night air warm against her skin as it rushed into the room. Nashville stretched out before her, the faint glow of the city lights mixing with the distant hum of passing cars.
She tucked the joint between her lips, the flame of the lighter flickering as she lit the tip. She took a slow drag, letting the smoke curl through her lungs and settle into her chest before she exhaled out into the open air.
The buzz hit quickly, a soft warmth unfurling in her limbs. She leaned back against the window frame, her guitar resting comfortably on her lap as she started to strum.
The notes came easily, her fingers gliding over the strings as she played whatever came to mind. A soft, haunting melody took shape. She kept her voice low, just above a whisper, the lyrics spilling from her lips like they were meant for the quiet night.
Spent my days with a woman unkind, smoked my stuff and drank all my wine
The joint hung from her lips as she sang, her voice airy and unpolished, but easy.
Made up my mind to make a new start, going to California with an aching in my heart 
She was so lost in the song, the feel of the strings beneath her fingers, that she didn’t hear the door open.
Harry stepped inside, the door clicking shut softly behind him. He paused, his eyes catching on the scene in front of him—the open window, YN perched on the sill with her guitar, the smoke from the joint curling lazily in the dim light.
She didn’t notice him at first, too wrapped up in the song. Her voice was soft and raw, carrying just enough emotion to make the lyrics hit harder than they should have.
Seems that the wrath of the gods got a punch in the nose and it’s starting to flow—think i might be sinking.
Harry stayed where he was, leaning against the wall near the door, arms crossed as he listened. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t announce himself right away. Maybe it was the way she seemed so unguarded, so lost in her own little world. It felt wrong to interrupt.
Her fingers lingered on the last note of the song, letting it fade softly into the warm night air. She leaned her head back against the window frame, the faint hum of the guitar strings still vibrating against her skin.
The room was quiet now, the only sound the distant buzz of traffic outside. She thought she was alone—until a flicker of movement caught her eye.
Her head snapped up to see Harry stepping closer, his strides slow and deliberate. He didn’t say anything, didn’t smirk or crack one of his usual jokes. He just moved, quiet and assured, until he stopped by the desk next to the window.
He sank into the chair with a soft creak, still close enough that YN could feel the heat of his presence.
Her heart stuttered, but she didn’t acknowledge him outright. Not yet.
Instead, she glanced at him briefly, her eyes meeting his for a fraction of a second before returning to the guitar in her lap. Her fingers idly plucked at the strings, pulling out a soft, wandering melody—not another song, just sound to fill the silence.
Harry stayed quiet, leaning back in the chair as his gaze followed the slow, practiced movements of her hands.
When she paused, fingers hovering over the frets, the faint smell of smoke still curling in the air, Harry’s attention shifted.
Without a word, he reached for the joint resting between her fingers near the neck of the guitar. His movements were smooth, casual, like he’d done it a hundred times before.
YN didn’t stop him, but her lips parted slightly in surprise, her pulse quickening as his hand brushed against hers.
He brought it to his lips, the faint ember at the tip flaring as he inhaled. The smoke curled lazily between them, filling the small space with a warmth that felt heavier than the fading summer air outside.
She watched him, her fingers still resting lightly on the strings, the unfinished melody hanging between them.
He exhaled slowly, his gaze flicking back to hers as the smoke dissipated into the room. For a moment, neither of them said anything.
The quiet wasn’t uncomfortable—it was something else. Something charged, like the tension from the last few days had found a new way to manifest itself.
YN finally broke the silence, her voice low and rough. “Didn’t realize you smoked.”
Harry’s lips curved into a faint smile, the kind that didn’t give anything away. “Didn’t realize you played Zeppelin.”
Her eyes narrowed slightly, her lips twitching as she fought the urge to smile back.
“Don’t stop playing,” he murmured, leaning back in the chair and tipping his head toward the window.
YN hesitated for a moment, her gaze lingering on him before she shifted the guitar back into place.
She didn’t play for him. Not really. But as the quiet notes filled the room again, she couldn’t help but notice how close he was, how the faint smell of smoke and something distinctly Harry seemed to blur the edges of everything else.
The melody was unmistakable, a classic she knew by heart. Slow, deliberate, and wordless, the tune drifted into the still night air. She tilted slightly, fingers brushing over the strings with a lightness that made it feel effortless.
Harry stayed in the chair by the desk, close enough that she could feel the weight of his presence but far enough that he seemed content to linger in the space between them.
He didn’t say anything. Didn’t interrupt.
His eyes flickered between her and the view outside, where the skyline blinked faintly in the distance. He seemed lost in thought, the faint haze of smoke from the joint twisting lazily around him.
The rhythm of her playing was slow, hypnotic, like it had seeped straight from her fingertips into the quiet air. She didn’t look at him directly, but she could feel his attention, even when it wasn’t on her.
When the joint burned low between his fingers, Harry leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he turned toward her. He lifted it to her lips, careful not to disrupt her playing, his movements casual but precise.
YN paused for just a fraction of a second, caught off guard by the gesture, but she let it happen. Her lips closed around it, inhaling deeply as her fingers continued their soft rhythm across the strings.
He stayed there for a moment, watching her before leaning back in the chair and taking the joint back between his own lips.
The smoke lingered between them, faint and warm, curling like an unspoken connection.
The song continued—soft, wistful, and unhurried. Her focus shifted to the melody, letting it guide her as Harry flicked his gaze between her hands, her face, and the view beyond the window.
Every so often, he’d lean forward again, passing the joint to her silently, his movements slow and patient. It felt strangely intimate, the quiet exchange, the way their hands brushed in the dim light.
Neither of them spoke, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. It was heavy, yes, but not with tension. It felt… deliberate.
When YN finally let the last note of the song fade into the air, her hands stilled on the guitar.
He didn’t say anything right away. He leaned back in the chair, the joint burning low between his fingers as his gaze lingered on her for just a moment too long.
“You should do that more often,” he said softly, his voice rough around the edges.
She raised an eyebrow, her lips curving into the faintest smirk. “Play Floyd?”
“Play anything,” he replied, taking one last drag before stubbing the joint out on the edge of the ashtray she’d left by the window. “Or keep me guessing.”
YN shifted the guitar off her lap, leaning it gently against the window sill. She crossed her arms, the soft night air brushing against her bare legs as she glanced at Harry. “It’s my job to play for you, Harry.”
His head tipped slightly, his green eyes narrowing as he considered her. “That why y’were playing now?”
She scoffed, leaning her shoulder against the window frame. “No. But it’s why I’m here, isn’t it? To play what you want to hear. To make your shows sound good.”
Harry didn’t react immediately. He stayed leaned back in the chair, the now-extinguished joint resting in the ashtray beside him. When he finally spoke, his voice was calm, almost lazy.
“You think that’s all you’re here for?”
“That’s what it feels like sometimes,” she muttered, her words laced with the kind of honesty she didn’t usually let herself share. “You’ve got everything planned, Harry. The look, the sound, the crowd. You don’t need me.”
His lips curved into a faint, humorless smile. “If I didn’t need you, you wouldn’t be here.”
YN frowned, tilting her head. “Is that supposed to make me feel better? Like I’m just another piece of the machine?”
Harry leaned forward then, his elbows resting on his knees as he met her gaze. The air between them felt heavier now, his next words slow and pointed. “You’re not just a piece. And you know it.”
For a moment, she didn’t know how to respond. She hated the way her pulse quickened under his stare, the way his voice—low and rough—seemed to wrap around her like smoke.
She turned her head slightly, looking out at the view instead of him. “You don’t act like it,” she mumbled.
He let out a low laugh, though there was no humor in it. “And how do I act, YN? Enlighten me.”
She hesitated, then turned back to face him, her arms still crossed over her chest. “You act like I’m just… there. Like you can turn me on and off when it suits you. Like I don’t matter unless I’m standing on stage next to you.”
His jaw tightened, his gaze never wavering from hers. “That’s not true.”
It was.
“Could’ve fooled me.”
The silence that followed felt like it stretched forever. The only sound was the faint hum of traffic outside and the soft creak of the chair as Harry shifted his weight.
“You think I don’t notice you?” he said finally, his voice quieter now but no less intense.
She blinked, caught off guard by the question. “What?”
Harry stood then, closing the distance between them in just a stride. He stopped just shy of the window, leaning one hand against the frame as he looked at her.
“You think I don’t notice you,” he repeated, his voice steady, almost accusing. “Every time you play, every time you step on that stage. Every time you look at me like you’re trying to figure out if I’m about to push you away again.”
YN swallowed hard, her throat suddenly dry. “You don’t notice anything,” she said, though the words came out weaker than she intended.
His gaze dropped to her lips for the briefest moment before snapping back to her eyes. “I notice everything,” he countered softly.
Her breath hitched, and she hated the way it made her feel like she was on uneven ground. “Then why do you act like this? Why do you make it so hard?”
“Because y’make it hard,” he shot back, his voice low but sharp. “You shut me out before I even get the chance to try.”
YN laughed then, a hollow, bitter sound. “You’ve never tried, Harry.”
“And you’ve never let me.” he said, the words falling between them like a challenge.
The weight of his stare was suffocating, and for a moment, YN didn’t know what to say. She could feel the tension crackling between them, thicker now, more volatile.
“Bullshit.” She turned back to the window, her voice softer when she spoke again. “This is pointless.”
Harry didn’t move, his hand still resting on the window frame as his eyes lingered on her.
“Maybe,” he said quietly. “But it doesn’t mean it’s not real.”
YN closed her eyes, letting his words hang in the air as the night wrapped around them. Neither of them said anything else, but the silence spoke louder than anything they could’ve said.
The morning came earlier than YN wanted it to. She’d barely slept, the weight of the night before hanging over her like a low fog.
The room was quiet when she woke, the faint hum of the air conditioning filling the stillness. Harry’s side of the room was empty, the crumpled blanket on the sofa the only sign he’d stayed at all.
YN sat up slowly, rubbing the heel of her hand against her eyes as the memory of their conversation came rushing back. She didn’t know if she regretted it—what they’d said, what they hadn’t said—but she knew it had left her chest feeling heavier than it had in weeks.
She glanced at the clock. They had a longer rehearsal today, prepping for the Ryman show tomorrow. If she didn’t hurry, she’d risk being late.
With a groan, she threw off the covers and got ready, pulling on a worn pair of jeans and a t-shirt before stuffing her guitar into its case and heading out the door.
The venue was already buzzing with activity when she arrived. The crew was setting up the stage, the hum of amps and feedback filling the auditorium as the band trickled in one by one. Mitch and Sarah were already there, chatting quietly by the drum kit, while Harry stood near the mic stand, flipping through a setlist with their tour manager.
YN felt his presence before she saw him, the memory of his words from the night before still fresh in her mind.
Maybe. But it doesn’t mean it’s not real.
She swallowed hard, forcing herself to push the thought aside as she made her way to her usual spot on the stage.
“Morning,” Mitch gave her a small smile.
“Morning,” she replied, setting her guitar case down and pulling out the instrument.
Harry didn’t say anything as she arrived, but she could feel his gaze flicker toward her for a brief moment before he turned his attention back to the stage manager.
Rehearsal started slow.
The band worked their way through the setlist, adjusting transitions, tightening harmonies, and fine-tuning every detail until the songs sounded like they could fill the Ryman’s historic walls without effort.
YN tried to focus, but it was harder than usual. Harry’s voice was everywhere—smooth and commanding, sharp and playful, depending on the song. His presence filled the room, making it impossible to ignore him no matter how much she tried.
But he didn’t speak to her directly. Not once.
It was infuriating, the way he could act like nothing had happened. Like they hadn’t spent the night before saying things that neither of them had the courage to finish.
The longer the rehearsal went, the more it started to gnaw at her. By the time they reached Ever Since New York, her patience was wearing thin.
“Hold on,” Harry said, waving a hand as the band finished the first chorus. He turned to Mitch. “That transition’s still too rushed. Can we stretch it out a little more?”
Mitch nodded, already adjusting his guitar.
She sighed quietly, her fingers hovering over the frets as she tried not to let her irritation show.
“Something wrong?” He asked suddenly, his voice cutting through the space like a blade.
Her head snapped up, her eyes narrowing at him. “No.”
“Sure about that?” he asked, his tone light but his gaze sharp.
She stared at him for a moment, her chest tightening with frustration. “Just play the song, Harry.”
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Alright. Again.”
By the time rehearsal wrapped, YN was drained. Her fingers ached from hours of playing, and her chest felt heavy with the weight of unspoken words.
As the crew began packing up, she slung her guitar over her shoulder and made her way toward the back of the stage, desperate for a moment alone.
But before she could disappear, Harry’s voice stopped her.
“Hey! YN.”
Her grip on her guitar strap tightened as she turned to face him, the tension between them sharp enough to cut. He was standing near the edge of the stage, his expression carefully unreadable, though his shoulders were tense. “What?” she asked, her voice curt, already bracing herself.
He hesitated, just for a moment, then tilted his head slightly, his gaze flicking over her like he was trying to figure out how to start. “About last night.”
Her jaw tightened. She hadn’t wanted to think about last night—how raw it had felt, how vulnerable she’d let herself be for even a second. She’d been trying to shove it to the back of her mind all day. “What about it?” she said flatly, her tone leaving no room for softness.
Harry’s lips pressed into a thin line, and when he spoke again, his voice was lower, quieter, but it still held an edge. “You meant what y’said, didn’t you?”
She blinked at him, caught off guard. “What are you talking about?”
“You think I don’t notice you,” he mumbled, his words more a statement than a question.
Her stomach churned, but she forced herself to keep her expression steady. “I don’t know why you care.”
“Because I do,” he shot back, his voice sharpening, though he still kept it low enough that no one else could hear. “And don’t act like you don’t, either.”
Her chest tightened at the accusation, but she refused to let it show. “You’ve got a funny way of showing it,” she said coldly, crossing her arms.
His jaw ticked, and he took a small step closer. “You think this is easy? Working with you? Being around you?”
She scoffed, the sound bitter in her throat. “Right. Because you’re so perfect to deal with, Harry.”
His eyes narrowed, the frustration clear now. “You act like I don’t care, but you’re the one who’s been pushing me out since the start.”
Her breath caught, and for a second, she wasn’t sure if it was anger or something else flaring in her chest. “Because you make it impossible,” she snapped, a whisper. “You walk around like the world revolves around you, and you expect everyone to just fall in line.”
“I don’t expect anything from you, YN,” he said, his voice sharp, almost defensive. “Except maybe to stop pretending like none of this matters t’you.”
Her heart thudded against her ribs, the words cutting deeper than she wanted to admit. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“It means,” Harry paused, his voice quieter now but no less intense, “you’ve made it pretty damn clear you’d rather be anywhere else than here—with me, with this band. So don’t act like I’m the one who doesn’t give a shit.”
YN stared at him, her chest heaving, her hands trembling at her sides. She wanted to throw something at him, wanted to shout, but the anger in her throat felt too tangled with something else—something raw and uncertain.
Before she could think of a response, Harry shook his head, his lips curling into a bitter half-smile. “Forget it,” he muttered, turning on his heel.
He stalked off the stage without looking back, his steps echoing in the empty auditorium.
YN stayed frozen where she was, her pulse pounding in her ears as his words replayed over and over again in her mind.
She hated that he was wrong.
And she hated even more that he wasn’t entirely right.
The 25th came fast, bringing with it the weight of a sold-out show at the Ryman Auditorium. YN felt it the moment she woke up—the low hum of tension in her chest, the kind that came from knowing she was about to step onto one of the most iconic stages in music history.
She moved through the day on autopilot, her interactions with the crew and band kept short and polite. She didn’t have it in her to do more, not after yesterday’s rehearsal, not after the argument with Harry that still lingered like a bruise.
By the time the sun dipped low over Nashville, casting long shadows across the city, the energy backstage was crackling with anticipation.
The band gathered in the wings as the crew finished final checks. She adjusted the strap of her guitar, her fingers tightening and loosening around the neck in a rhythm she didn’t realize she was keeping.
Harry stood a few feet away, his presence as inescapable as ever. He was wearing a dark, tailored suit with just enough sparkle to catch the light, his shirt unbuttoned halfway down his chest. His hair was tousled in that perfectly imperfect way that she hated to admit suited him.
He hadn’t spoken to her since yesterday. Not directly. And she hadn’t gone out of her way to fix that.
“Alright, everyone ready?” the stage manager called, clipboard in hand.
The band nodded, one by one. Harry turned to them, his usual grin firmly in place, but there was a flicker of something else in his eyes when his gaze landed on YN.
“All good?” he asked, his tone light but pointed, like he was challenging her.
She held his stare, refusing to let him see the nerves twisting in her chest. “Good.”
Harry’s smirk softened, but he didn’t push it. “Let’s do this, then,” he said, turning back toward the stage as the house lights dimmed.
The roar of the crowd was deafening, a wall of sound that hit YN square in the chest as they stepped onto the stage.
The show opened strong, the band locking into the rhythm like clockwork. The crowd was electric, their cheers and screams filling every corner of the Ryman as Harry worked the stage, his voice weaving effortlessly through the music.
She focused on her playing, her fingers moving over the strings with practiced precision. She kept her eyes on the crowd, on Mitch, on the neck of her guitar—anywhere but Harry.
But it didn’t matter. She could feel him, his presence pulling at her like a tide no matter how hard she tried to resist.
It was during Woman that the tension finally cracked.
The song had always been a crowd favorite, its sultry rhythm and teasing lyrics sending the audience into a frenzy. Tonight was no different.
Harry prowled the stage, the mic in one hand, his free hand gesturing to the crowd as they screamed the words back to him.
And then, without warning, his gaze found hers.
—I told you but I know you’d never listen.
YN’s fingers faltered for the briefest moment, the wrong note slipping out before she corrected herself.
He smirked, slow and all-knowing, because he did. He knew what he was doing.
He sang the chorus, his voice low and taunting as he turned to her fully, his body angled toward her now.
The crowd screamed, but they didn’t notice the way his eyes stayed locked on hers, sharp and unrelenting.
Her chest tightened, but she refused to look away. Instead, she matched his intensity with her playing, her fingers flying over the strings like she could drown him out with sheer force.
The song ended in a crescendo, the applause erupting like thunder. Harry grinned at the crowd, blowing kisses into the sea of adoring faces, but when he turned back to the band, his smirk softened into something more subtle.
YN ignored him, focusing instead on retuning her guitar for the next song. But her hands were trembling slightly, and she hated herself for it.
The rest of the show passed in a blur of music and adrenaline.
By the time they reached the encore, she felt both exhausted and wired, her body caught in that strange limbo that came after hours on stage.
She risked a glance at Harry, and for a moment, she thought she saw something in his expression that mirrored her own—a kind of quiet exhaustion, tinged with something unspoken.
But then he turned back to the crowd, his charm cranked up to full volume as he thanked them, his voice ringing out like a promise. “Goodnight, Nashville,” he said, his grin wide and infectious. “You’ve been incredible.”
The applause was deafening, the crowd chanting his name as the band took their final bow.
Backstage crew members moved in every direction, packing up equipment and shouting over the noise. The band had scattered, Mitch and Sarah disappearing into their dressing rooms while Harry lingered by the door, chatting with a few industry types who’d come to the show.
YN slipped past the commotion, her guitar case slung over her shoulder as she made her way to the dressing room she was sharing with Mitch.
But before she could reach the door, Harry’s voice stopped her.
She froze, her grip tightening on the strap of her guitar. She turned slowly, her expression carefully neutral.
Harry was leaning against the wall, his shirt damp with sweat, his hair sticking to his forehead. He looked tired but satisfied, his usual post-show glow dimmed by something quieter.
“Good show tonight,” he said, his tone casual but his eyes sharper than his words.
YN raised an eyebrow, her lips curving into a faint smirk. “You don’t have to tell me that.”
He huffed a quiet laugh, his smirk returning. “You’re impossible, you know that?”
“Yeah,” she said, turning back toward her dressing room. “Look in the mirror, Harry.” She didn’t wait for his response, didn’t look back as she pushed open the door and let it close behind her.
September 26th, Chicago Theatre
Chicago was cold, a brisk wind biting at the edges of everything, but the theater itself felt electric. The second show on this leg of the tour, and the crowd roared louder than even the Nashville audience had. YN had expected it—Chicago fans had a reputation—but it still sent a jolt through her chest every time the applause hit.
She’d kept her head down all day, avoiding Harry as much as possible after the tension-filled Ryman show. He hadn’t gone out of his way to talk to her either, which suited her just fine. The dynamic between them was still strained, but now it felt heavier, sharper, like a spring wound too tight.
On stage that night, they were professional, seamless even. The music flowed like second nature, and the crowd ate up every word Harry sang, every note the band played.
But Harry’s energy was different.
He stalked the stage like he had something to prove, his voice sharper, his movements purposeful. Every so often, his gaze would flicker toward her, his eyes dark under the stage lights, and her fingers would stumble, just for a second.
She hated that he could still affect her like that. Hated that her pulse quickened every time he looked at her like he was daring her to break.
When the show ended, she slipped out of the backstage chaos as quickly as she could, retreating to her dressing room before Harry could find her.
But she couldn’t escape the feeling that their fight wasn’t just simmering—it was boiling over, and it was only a matter of time before it all spilled out.
September 27th, New York City Music Hall
New York felt different, brighter somehow. The Music Hall was massive, its gold interiors glinting under the lights, the kind of place that made you feel like you were a part of something monumental just by standing inside it.
YN was buzzing, but not because of the show. Tonight, she’d finally made good on her promise to get her best friend in with VIP tickets.
Jude had shown up grinning from ear to ear, dragging along another friend, Sage, a boy she knew from a few mutual connections but hadn’t spent much time with. She didn’t mind—Sage was friendly, good-looking in that casual, effortless way, and Jude seemed thrilled to be there.
The show was flawless, a whirlwind of sound and energy that left the crowd screaming for more by the end of the encore. YN felt good, better than she had in days. Maybe it was Jude’s energy, or the thrill of being home in New York, or the fact that she’d managed to avoid Harry’s smirking glances on stage.
The energy backstage was lighter than usual, the post-show adrenaline mingling with the warmth of a half-empty box of beers someone had dragged in from a gas station. YN sat on a crate near the corner of the room, Jude and Sage perched close by, the three of them surrounded by the casual hum of conversation. Mitch was strumming idly on an unplugged guitar, Sarah was laughing with one of the techs, and the crew milled around, taking turns grabbing beers and tossing them to each other.
Harry sprawled in the cheap folding chair like it was a throne. His legs stretched out, boots crossed, beer bottle swaying loose between his fingers. He wore the smug indifference of someone who knew exactly how good he looked, from the sweat-mussed hair to the open collar of his shirt. A rock god slumming it in a room full of mortals.
Jude, of course, was eating it up, no matter how hard she tried not to. Her eyes kept drifting back, quick flickers like a moth circling a flame. YN could see the effort it took for her friend to focus on Sage, laughing a little too hard at his jokes, leaning just a bit too close. But the second Harry glanced their way, Jude’s attention snapped to him like a compass needle finding north.
“This is VIP treatment?” Sage asked, flashing one of his trademark grins. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, his bottle raised like a toast.
Jude latched onto the question, grateful for the distraction. “Welcome to the glamorous life of rock and roll,” she quipped, sweeping a hand around the dingy green room. Half-eaten takeout boxes, a broken amp shoved in the corner, and a stack of mismatched chairs that looked like they’d collapse if you breathed wrong.
“I’m not complaining,” Sage said, his smile lingering, his tone dipping lower. “Not if it means I get to see you.”
The words hung in the air just a second too long.
YN felt the heat crawl up her neck before she even realized it. She took a long sip of her beer, keeping her face neutral, trying to ignore the heavy stare boring into the side of her head. She didn’t have to look to know Harry was watching. She could feel it.
“Careful,” Harry drawled, finally breaking the silence. His voice was low, lazy, but there was an edge to it. “Say something like that, and you might get her hopes up.”
Sage blinked, caught off guard, then let out a short laugh, brushing it off. “I think she can handle it.”
“Oh, sure,” Harry said, leaning back further in his chair. He swirled the beer bottle idly, staring into the amber liquid like it held secrets. “Just don’t trip over yourself trying too hard. You’d hate to embarrass yourself in front of the talent.”
Jude stiffened beside YN. Sage’s easy smile faltered, but he recovered fast, glancing at YN with a grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Speaking of talent, you were incredible out there,” he said, his voice softer, directed at her now. “That solo in Woman? Gave me chills.”
YN opened her mouth to respond, but Harry beat her to it.
“Yeah, chills,” he echoed, not looking up from his bottle. “Or was it the AC in the venue finally kicking in? Hard t’tell.”
Sage chuckled, but it was tight. Forced. “I meant it,” he said, still talking to YN. “You’ve got something special. You know that, right?”
Harry made a sound low in his throat, almost a laugh. Not quite. “Special,” he repeated, like he was tasting the word and finding it bitter. “Special enough t’get you a free beer and a backstage pass. Quite the honor.”
Sage turned to him now, his posture shifting, more squared. “That’s not what I meant.”
Harry’s eyes finally lifted, locking onto Sage with a lazy sort of intensity. “No?”
The word hung there, sharp and cold, daring Sage to keep going.
YN set her bottle down harder than she meant to, the dull thunk slicing through the thick air. “Harry.”
“What?” he said, the picture of innocence, except for the smirk curling at the edge of his mouth.
Her jaw tightened. “Can I talk to you outside?”
Harry raised his eyebrows, playing dumb. “Outside?”
“Mm-hm.” She hummed sharply, pushing herself to her feet. “Now.”
He took his time standing, unfolding himself from the chair with the kind of slow, deliberate movements that made every second stretch out like taffy. His boots scraped against the floor as he stood, towering over her but pretending not to notice. “You sure y’don’t want to hash this out here? We’ve got an audience and everything. Could be fun.”
“Outside,” she repeated through gritted teeth.
Harry chuckled, low and infuriating. “Alright,” he breathed, gesturing toward the door like he was humoring her. “Lead the way.”
As she brushed past him, she caught a glimpse of Jude, wide-eyed and silent, clutching her bottle like it was the only thing keeping her grounded. Sage sat back, his jaw tight, his smile long gone.
Behind her, Harry followed, his footsteps slow and heavy, like he wanted her to know he wasn’t in any hurry. And as they stepped out into the cold, stale air of the hallway, she could still hear his laugh echoing softly, more to himself than anyone else.
That laugh made her want to scream.
The alley behind the Music Hall was quiet, the distant hum of city traffic echoing off the brick walls. The air was cool, a sharp contrast to the stuffy warmth of the backstage room. “What the hell was that?” she asked, spinning around to face him.
He took a slow sip of his beer, his eyes steady on hers. “What was what?”
“Don’t play dumb,” she snapped, her arms crossing over her chest. “All the comments. The interruptions. What’s your problem?”
Harry leaned against the wall, his head tilting slightly as he studied her. “No problem,” he said lightly. “Just thought I’d keep the conversation interesting.”
“Interesting?” she repeated, her voice rising. “You were being a dick, Harry.”
His smile faded slightly, his gaze narrowing. “Maybe I don’t like watching some guy who barely knows you act like he’s been waiting his whole life to kiss your ass.”
YN blinked, caught off guard by the bluntness of his words. “Are you serious?”
“You heard me,” he murmured, his voice quieter now, but no less intense.
She stared at him, her chest tightening with a mix of frustration and something she didn’t want to name. “Why do you even care?”
He pushed off the wall, stepping closer until there was barely a foot of space between them. His eyes locked on hers, unflinching. “I dunno.”
Her breath hitched, her pulse hammering against her ribs. “That’s not an answer.”
“S’the only one you’re getting.”
For a long moment, neither of them moved, the tension between them thick and crackling like static electricity.
She finally broke the silence, her voice quieter now but no less sharp. “You don’t get to pull this shit, Harry. Not after everything.”
He looked at her for a moment longer, something unreadable flashing in his eyes. Then he took a step back, his smile returning, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
“Got it,” he said simply, turning toward the door.
She watched him go, her fists clenched at her sides, her heart pounding with anger—and something else she didn’t want to name.
She stayed in the alley long after Harry disappeared back inside. Her chest felt tight, her breathing uneven as she tried to process the exchange.
The words echoed in her mind, a sharp contrast to the smirk he’d worn when he walked away. She hated how he could get under her skin so easily, how his presence seemed to shift the air around her, how her anger at him never felt simple.
She leaned back against the cool brick wall, tilting her head up toward the night sky. The distant hum of traffic was a low comfort, a reminder of how big the world was outside of the theater, outside of him.
You don’t get to pull this shit, Harry.
But he had, and he would again. That much she was sure of.
Harry didn’t stay backstage for long. When he stepped back into the room, the energy was lighter without her there. Jude and Sage had moved on to laughing about something Mitch was saying, their voices rising over the clinking of bottles. Harry slipped past them with a nod, setting his empty beer bottle on the edge of a table.
“I’m heading out,” he said, his voice easy, casual, as if the last few minutes hadn’t happened.
Mitch looked up, raising an eyebrow. “You good?”
“Yeah,” Harry grumbled, running a hand through his hair. “Just tired. Think I’ll head back to the hotel.”
No one questioned him further. Harry had a way of ending conversations before they started, and tonight was no different.
YN finally pushed herself off the wall, shaking off the lingering tension as best she could. The night air had cooled her temper slightly, though the weight of her frustration still hung in her chest.
When she stepped back inside, the room felt just as loud as before, though the dynamic had shifted.
Jude waved her over immediately, her grin as bright as ever. “Hey! You okay?”
“Fine.”YN said, her voice clipped. She didn’t want to talk about what happened. Not now, not ever. “Where’s Harry?”
“Left a few minutes ago,” Mitch shrugged, strumming a lazy chord on the guitar he’d picked back up. “Said he was tired.”
YN’s stomach twisted, though she couldn’t pinpoint why.
“Good,” she muttered, grabbing a fresh beer from the nearly empty box. She twisted off the cap and took a long sip, letting the bitter taste settle her nerves.
Sage caught her eye, his grin still intact. “You alright?” he asked, leaning closer.
“I’m fine,” she said sharply, the edge in her voice enough to make him hold up his hands in surrender.
Jude gave her a look—something between concern and curiosity—but didn’t press further.
She leaned against the table, tuning out the chatter as the night dragged on. But no matter how hard she tried to focus on anything else, the memory of Harry’s words—and the look in his eyes when he said them—refused to leave her alone.
The night dissolved into a blur of laughter, music, and the bitter taste of cheap beer. YN had let herself go too far, her usual restraint eroded by the buzz in her veins and the way Sage kept leaning closer, his voice soft and insistent in her ear. She didn’t even remember how the drinks had piled up so quickly, only that by the time Mitch and Sarah coaxed her into leaving, the room was spinning, and her legs felt unsteady beneath her.
Her friends had already left, a whirlwind of hugs and goodbyes as they promised to text when they made it back to campus. She barely remembered waving them off. Her focus had narrowed to just putting one foot in front of the other, the alcohol turning everything fuzzy around the edges.
Mitch had one of her arms draped over his shoulder, Sarah steadying her other side as they guided her into the hotel.
“You’ve got to start drinking water at some point,” Mitch said, his tone amused but laced with concern.
“Water’s overrated,” YN mumbled, her voice slurred but determined.
Sarah snorted. “Tell that to your liver.”
They maneuvered her into the elevator, Sarah punching the button for their floor. The quiet hum of the ride did little to settle the nausea building in YN’s stomach.
“Alright, this is us,” Mitch said when the doors opened on their floor. He adjusted his grip on her arm, but she shook her head, pulling away clumsily.
“No, no, I’ve got it,” she insisted, stumbling forward and catching herself on the elevator wall.
“You sure?”
“Totally,” YN smiled, swaying slightly as she gave them a thumbs-up.
Mitch exchanged a look with Sarah, then sighed. “Okay, but if you fall over in the hallway, we’re not coming back down.”
“Love you guys,” She gave lopsided grin, blowing a haphazard kiss in their direction.
The walk to her room felt impossibly long. Her footsteps were uneven, and she clutched the wall for balance, the plush carpet doing little to steady her spinning head.
When she finally reached her door, she fumbled with the keycard, her hands clumsy and uncooperative. After several failed attempts, she groaned, leaning her forehead against the door in frustration.
But then her gaze shifted, and she realized something.
This wasn’t her room.
The gold numbers on the door were too low—she was on the wrong floor.
Harry’s room.
Her thoughts moved sluggishly, like she was trying to wade through molasses, but one thing became clear—she didn’t want to go back and figure it out. Not tonight.
Her fist hovered over the door for a moment, hesitation flickering in the back of her mind. She could just go back to the elevator, figure out her room, and collapse in her own bed.
But the alcohol dulled her better judgment, and she knocked before she could stop herself.
The door opened after a beat, and there he was.
Harry stood in the doorway, barefoot, loose sweatpants that hung low on his hips. His hair was messy, like he’d been lying down, and his eyes flicked over her with a mix of confusion and concern.
“YN?” His voice was low and rough with sleep.
“Hi.” She smiled, the word slurred and uneven.
He glanced down the hallway, then back at her. “You’re drunk.”
She hummed, nodding her head and leaning heavily against the doorframe.
Harry’s lips twitched, but he didn’t smile. “What are you doing here?”
“Dunno,” she pouted, blinking up at him. “I was trying to find my room, but…” She trailed off, waving a hand vaguely.
He sighed, stepping back and holding the door open wider. “Come in before someone calls security.”
The room was dim, lit only by a single lamp near the bed. She stumbled inside, kicking off her shoes and collapsing onto the armchair by the window.
Harry shut the door, leaning against it for a moment as he watched her.
“You alright?” he asked.
“Fantastic,” she mumbled, closing her eyes as the room spun around her.
“You do this often?” he asked dryly. “Stumbling drunk into the wrong room?”
“Not wrong,” she muttered, wagging a finger at him as she half-heartedly reached for the bottle of water on the table next to her. “I knew where I was going.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Sure you did.”
She squinted at him, her lips twitching like she was trying to suppress a laugh. “You’re awfully judgy for a guy wearing sweatpants with wine stains on them.”
Harry glanced down, frowning faintly at the faint red blotch near his knee. It could have been wine, those were old—not that’d he’d remember. But for arguments sake, “s’not wine.”
“Oh, I see,” She smirking as she leaned back in the chair. “Fancy rock star can’t even handle his grape juice.”
“That’s rich,” he shot back, his tone calm but pointed. “Coming from someone who can’t even find her own room.”
She narrowed her eyes at him, but her expression softened into something quieter as the room fell silent. The edges of her bravado dulled under the weight of the alcohol and exhaustion, and she ran a hand through her hair as her voice dropped.
“Why were you so mean to me?”
Harry stilled, the teasing edge slipping from his face.
“When?” he asked, though his tone made it clear he knew exactly what she was talking about.
“From the start,” she frowned, her words slurred but steady enough to cut. “You act like you don’t give a shit about me one minute, and then you—” She broke off, gesturing vaguely. “And then you pull this I notice everything bullshit.”
He didn’t respond right away. Instead, he uncrossed his arms and moved toward her slowly, his footsteps soft against the carpet.
“You should drink that,” he breathed, gesturing to the water bottle still sitting untouched on the table.
YN blinked at him, her frustration flaring again. “Don’t change the subject, Harry.”
“I’m not,” he said evenly, crouching down in front of her. His eyes met hers, steady but guarded, and he grabbed the water bottle, holding it out. “Drink.”
She stared at him for a long moment, her chest tight. “You’re annoying,” she muttered, taking the bottle from his hand.
“You’re welcome,” he replied, his tone soft but laced with the faintest hint of amusement.
She took a few sips, grimacing as the cool liquid hit her empty stomach. Her head swam, the alcohol making her limbs heavy and uncooperative.
Harry stood, watching her carefully. “Come on.” He whispered after a moment, holding out his hand.
She frowned, looking at it suspiciously. “What are you doing?”
“Helping you into bed,” he said simply, his voice calm as he wriggled his fingers.
“I’m fine here.”
“You’re not sleeping in a chair, YN.” He sighed, his tone firmer now. “Come on.”
With a groan, she let him pull her to her feet, though her legs buckled almost immediately.
He caught her around the waist, shaking his head. “I’m fine.” He mocked breathily, a faint smile tugging on his lips, but he stifled it.
He guided her to the bed, steadying her as she sat down heavily on the edge. She looked up at him, her expression softer now, the alcohol dulling the sharpness of her frustration.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
Harry leaned down ever so slightly, brushing her hair behind her shoulders, thumbing away some of the mascara that smudged her cheeks. “Get some sleep, YN.”
“You’re deflecting,” she pouted, though her voice was fading, her head already sinking toward the pillow.
Harry shifted, pulling the blanket over her as she curled onto her side.
“Goodnight.” His voice was low and unreadable.
Silence.
He frowned, taking a step back. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, although he knew she didn’t hear him. 
-
The tour bus hummed steadily as it sped toward Boston, the headlights slicing through the dark. It was well past midnight, and the world outside the window was nothing but a blur of shadows and the occasional glimmer of a passing car.
Everyone else was tucked away in their bunks, lulled to sleep by the gentle sway of the bus. The only sounds were the low murmur of the engine and the soft, absentminded strumming of an acoustic guitar.
YN sat curled up in the corner by the window, Mitch’s guitar resting on her lap. Her fingers moved lightly over the strings, coaxing out a quiet, meandering tune—nothing specific, just something to keep her hands busy. She stared out at the dark highway, the faint glow of her reflection in the glass blending with the streaks of passing lights.
Across the room, Harry sat at the small table, his laptop open in front of him. His shorts were bright pink, shirt faded and worn, hair messy and falling into his eyes. His fingers tapped softly on the keys, the blue glow of the screen reflecting off his rings.
For a while, neither of them said anything. The silence wasn’t tense exactly, but it wasn’t comfortable either. It felt like it had been stretched thin, like something fragile that might break if either of them pressed too hard.
She plucked a few more strings, then let the sound fade, her gaze flicking briefly toward Harry. “You don’t sleep, do you?” she asked, her voice soft but not without its usual bite.
He didn’t look up, his fingers still moving across the keyboard. “Not much.” he replied evenly.
“What are you even working on?” she murmured, shifting slightly in her seat to get a better view.
“Emails,” he breathed, glancing at her briefly before turning back to the screen. “Tour stuff.”
YN smiled faintly, her fingers returning to the guitar. “Rock star by day, admin assistant by night?”
Harry’s lips twitched, but he didn’t smile. “Someone’s gotta do it.”
She let out a low hum, her fingers drifting into a soft riff, the notes barely audible over the hum of the bus.
“Is that Mitch’s?” Harry asked after a moment, nodding toward the guitar.
“Yeah.” She brushed her thumb lightly over the strings. “He left it out earlier. Figured he wouldn’t mind.”
He leaned back in his chair, pushing the laptop back slightly. “He doesn’t. Just doesn’t usually let anyone play it.”
YN raised an eyebrow, glancing at him. “You saying I’m special?”
He huffed a quiet laugh, finally meeting her gaze. “Hardly.”
She rolled her eyes, her lips curving into a small, reluctant smile. “You’re such an ass.”
“Look in a mirror.” He smiled, echoing her words from days before, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table.
For a while, the silence returned, but it felt slightly less brittle this time. YN continued strumming, the quiet notes blending with the steady rhythm of the bus.
“You’re good.” Harry said eventually, his voice softer now. 
YN looked at him, surprised by the unexpected compliment. “Don’t sound so shocked.”
He let out a breathy laugh through his nose, leaning back again. “Just noticing, petal.”
Her chest tightened at the word, but she quickly shoved the feeling aside, focusing on the guitar.
“You’re not so bad yourself.” She shrugged, her tone casual but laced with a challenge.
Harry tilted his head slightly, a faint smirk tugging at his lips. “That a compliment?”
“Don’t let it go to your head. It’s big enough.”
He chuckled, the sound low and warm, and for a brief moment, the tension between them eased.
But then her fingers stilled on the strings, her gaze drifting back to the window. The reflection of the two of them in the glass felt surreal, like something out of a dream she wasn’t sure she wanted to wake from.
“Why were you up last night?” she asked suddenly, her voice quieter now, almost hesitant.
Harry’s smirk faded, his expression shifting into something more guarded. “Didn’t feel like sleeping,”
“That’s not what I meant,” she countered, turning to face him fully. “You didn’t have to let me in. Could’ve just shut the door and gone back to bed.”
Harry didn’t respond right away. His gaze flickered to her hands, still resting lightly on the guitar, before meeting her eyes again. “Didn’t seem like you wanted to be alone.”
YN’s throat tightened, and she looked away, her fingers brushing over the strings again. “I didn’t ask for your help.”
“I know.” he said simply.
The quiet between them stretched, heavy and filled with things neither of them seemed willing to say.
YN strummed a few more notes, her movements slower now, more deliberate. She didn’t look at him, but she could feel his eyes on her, steady and unrelenting.
“Go to bed, Harry,” she sighed eventually, her voice soft but firm.
“Not tired, YN.” There was no edge to the words.
She sighed, leaning her head back against the window as her fingers stilled on the guitar. “You will be tomorrow.”
“Guess I’ll take my chances.”
She glanced at him, her chest tightening at the faint smile playing on his lips. She wanted to say something, wanted to break the strange tension hanging between them, but the words caught in her throat.
So she said nothing, letting the silence settle again as the bus rumbled on through the night.
September 30th, Boston
The air backstage at the Wang Theatre was thick with anticipation. YN sat in the corner of the green room, tuning her guitar for the third time in as many minutes. The hum of the crew preparing for the night buzzed through the walls, but her focus was pinned to the task in her hands. She needed something to do, anything to keep her from replaying the last few nights over and over in her head.
She tightened a string a little too hard, the sharp twang making her wince.
“You alright over there?” Mitch asked, glancing up from where he was adjusting his pedalboard.
“Fine,” she muttered, not looking up.
From the corner of her eye, she saw Harry glance her way, his expression unreadable. She forced herself to keep her focus on the guitar.
By the time the lights dimmed and the crowd erupted into cheers, YN was itching to get the show over with. The theatre was packed, the historic venue alive with energy, but it did nothing to ease the knot in her stomach.
The first few songs went smoothly enough, the band locking into their usual rhythm. Harry prowled the stage like he owned it—because he did—and the crowd hung on his every move.
But by the time they hit woman, things began to unravel.
It started small. A glance. A smirk.
Harry turned toward her as he sang, his voice dipping into the lyric like he was saying it directly to her.
The crowd screamed, oblivious to the sharp edge in his gaze. YN’s fingers faltered on the strings for a fraction of a second before she caught herself.
Her eyes snapped to his, narrowing, but he didn’t look away. Instead, his smirk deepened, daring her to react.
She refused to give him the satisfaction, pouring her frustration into her playing as the song built to its climax.
After the final note, the applause was deafening, the crowd on their feet as Harry grinned and wiped the sweat from his forehead. He turned to the audience, shouting his thanks into the mic, but YN didn’t hear a word.
She slipped offstage the second the lights dimmed, her guitar slung over her shoulder as she headed toward the green room. Her chest was tight, her pulse racing, and she needed a minute to cool down before she said something she’d regret.
But she didn’t get far.
“YN!”
Harry’s voice cut through the noise backstage, and she stopped dead in her tracks, her hands tightening on her guitar strap.
She turned slowly, her jaw clenched as she met his gaze.
Harry jogged the last few steps to catch up with her, his sequined jacket glittering under the faint overhead lights. “What the hell was that?”
She blinked at him, caught off guard. “What are you talking about?”
“On stage,” he said, gesturing vaguely behind him. “You were off.”
“I wasn’t off,” she shot back, her frustration bubbling to the surface.
“You missed a note in woman,” his voice was low and firm. “I heard it.”
YN’s jaw tightened, and she took a step closer, her voice dropping to match his. “Maybe if you stopped staring me down like a lunatic during every damn song, I wouldn’t miss anything.”
Harry’s lips twitched, but there was no humor in his expression. “You think that’s why?”
“Don’t start with me, Harry,” she warned, her hands gripping the strap of her guitar so tightly her knuckles turned white.
He stepped closer, his eyes narrowing. “You’re the one starting something, YN. You’ve been looking for a fight all night.”
“Oh, I’m looking for a fight?” she snapped, her voice rising slightly. “That’s rich coming from the guy who can’t seem to decide whether he wants to piss me off or…”
She stopped herself just in time, the words catching in her throat.
Harry tilted his head, his gaze flicking over her face as a faint smirk curled at the corner of his mouth. “Or what?”
YN glared at him, her chest heaving as she struggled to keep her composure. “Forget it.” She spat, turning on her heel and heading for the green room.
Harry didn’t follow, but she could feel his eyes on her back, heavy and unrelenting, as she disappeared down the hallway.
Back in the green room, she slumped into a chair, her guitar resting against the wall beside her. She closed her eyes, letting out a slow breath as the adrenaline from the stage finally began to fade.
She didn’t know what pissed her off more—Harry’s constant needling, or the fact that he was right.
She’d been off tonight.
But only because of him.
-
The tour bus rumbled down the highway, the lights of Boston fading far behind them as the road stretched dark and endless ahead. The show at the Wang  was barely two hours in the past, but it already felt like a weight YN couldn’t shake.
She sat in her bunk with the curtain pulled tightly shut, her knees tucked up to her chest and her notebook balanced precariously against them. Her pen hovered over the blank page, unmoving. She had opened it in an attempt to write something—anything—to push the tension out of her head, but her mind refused to cooperate.
Instead, it replayed the night in an endless loop: Harry’s sharp words backstage, the way his smirk twisted into something darker, the challenge in his eyes daring her to finish what she hadn’t meant to say.
Her chest tightened at the memory. She’d spent the rest of the night avoiding him—on stage, backstage, and now on the bus.
The thin curtain separating her from the rest of the bus didn’t do much to block out the low hum of conversation from the main area. Harry’s voice rose and fell in rhythm with Sarah’s and Mitch’s, casual and unbothered. He laughed at something Mitch said, the sound low and easy, and it made YN’s stomach twist.
How is he so unaffected?
Hours later, the bus quieted as everyone began retreating to their bunks. The lights dimmed, and the gentle sway of the vehicle as it sped down the highway turned the space into a cradle of silence.
Everyone except YN and Harry seemed to have no trouble falling asleep.
She could feel his presence even though they weren’t in the same part of the bus. He was out there, probably stretched out in one of the seats, scrolling on his phone or reading something. She hated that she knew his habits, hated that she’d memorized the way he fidgeted when he was restless, or the sound of his quiet sigh when he gave up on trying to distract himself.
She hated, most of all, that she cared.
She finally slid out of her bunk, her bare feet silent against the soft carpet as she padded toward the kitchenette. The small fridge buzzed faintly as she pulled it open, grabbing a bottle of water and leaning against the counter.
She tried to focus on the cold press of the bottle against her palm, the faint vibration of the road beneath her feet—anything but the sound of movement behind her.
Harry stepped into the kitchenette without looking at her. He opened one of the cabinets, pulling out a box of tea bags and tossing one onto the counter before reaching for the electric kettle.
YN didn’t say a word. She twisted the cap off her water and took a long sip, staring at the far wall as if it held the answer to whatever storm was brewing in her chest.
Harry didn’t seem to mind the silence. He filled the kettle, set it on the counter, and leaned back against the opposite side of the small space, his arms crossing over his chest.
The room felt smaller now, the air heavier.
YN turned to leave, but his voice stopped her.
“You’re quiet tonight.”
She froze, her back still to him.
“Not a bad thing,” he added casually. “Just different.”
Her grip on the water bottle tightened, her jaw clenching as she turned her head slightly. “Maybe I just don’t feel like talking.”
Harry let out a soft hum, not quite a laugh. “How long will that last?”
Her chest tightened as she walked away, slipping back into her bunk and yanking the curtain shut behind her. She sat in the dark, the sound of the kettle clicking off faint in the distance.
She hadn’t seen his face, but she knew he’d been smirking. She could feel it in the way his words lingered, curling around her thoughts like smoke.
And despite herself, she hated that it still mattered.
October 1st, Washington, D.C.
DAR Hall was completely sold out, shoulder to shoulder, elbow into ribs. 
Clips from the show in Boston, among other shows, started to surface online with whispers and reposts. It was only a matter of time, the crowd wasn’t stupid—the tension between the two was obvious, it was just a matter of deciphering if it was real or not. 
The consensus seemed to be split down the middle—they hated each other’s guts, or they were fucking behind closed doors. 
YN wasn’t sure if Harry saw it, but she sure did. Her younger brother had texted her about it first, a series of spam texts at three in the morning asking for every detail.
She left him on read. 
And now, here they stood in DC, before a sea of fans that seemed like they saw right through them, when YN herself didn’t even know what there was to see. 
Luckily, and unfortunately, there were only a few signs that seemed to be about YN and Harry, no one on stage acknowledged them. 
It was a sort of silent agreement that YN would stick to her one guitar during the entirety of the tour. But, when Mitch went to switch out for the acoustic, Harry had stopped him. 
He pulled his ear piece out slightly, whispering something to the guitarist before stalking towards YN on the wings of the stage. With the ear piece out, he could hear how insanely loud the crowd was—he couldn’t help but send shocked smiles in their direction. 
YN furrowed her eyebrows, her palm lying flat over the strings of the guitar as she pulled on her own ear piece. “What’s going on?” 
He stood near her, his breath peppermint and flat sprite. “Switch out, you’re doing track seven.”
She narrowed her eyes, leaning her head in further. 
Track seven on the setlist, meet me in the hallway. “What do you mean? You or Mitch play that.”
He smiled, bunny teeth and dimples. “Now you are.” He nodded toward her, shoving the ear piece back in and ambling back toward the mic that stood center stage. 
She wasn’t nervous, more caught off guard. She knew how to play it, it was just being asked to play it. She pulled the strap from over her shoulders, walking back toward the rest of the band and setting the instrument in its place. 
Mitch would approach with an easy smile, settling the acoustic strap over her frame while Harry continued to talk to the crowd. He adjusted it to her body, looking over the frets to make sure they were tuned for the song—they were. “You know it?” 
She rested her fingers on the neck, nodding with a distant smile. “Back of my hand.” She breathed, earning a small nod from the other guitarist. 
Her eyes squinted in the bright lights as she moved toward Harry, his smile still bright—as if nothing had been happening between them at all. He said something into the mic, his voice a buzz in the background to YN—all that made sense was the second glance he sent her, the look to start. 
The fans simmered down, but not silent. She let out a breath, eyes scanning over the crowd then back to Harry. Her pick moved over the chords seamlessly, as if she played it this way for years. 
His hands gripped the mic stand as he echoed out the first lines, his rings glinting in the golden light. His eyebrows would furrow, his lips would part—he was just music. 
He was an asshole to her, he knew it. He hated it, and she hated how he was completely under her skin, threaded into her veins. 
As they approached the chorus, they looked toward each other, a fleeting sideways glance. He nodded his head down, shifting slightly to the side to make room for her. 
His voice boomed over hers, deeper and more emotional, but they mixed in harmony. Her voice was soft underneath his, lighter, only a backing vocal for the chorus.
The crowd erupted, and some sense settled over YN’s shoulders, the lyrics eerily familiar to them, to their situation. 
Her tummy twisted, yet she played the cords harder, falling into the melody, his words, the reverberation of the crowd. 
—Cause once you go without it, nothing else will do. 
Nothing else will do.
290 notes · View notes
theonottsbxtch · 3 days ago
Text
COURAGE | OP81
an: i warn you ahead of time this faces the topic of substance abuse, if you or anyone you know needs help, please feel free to talk to me or here are links for who to talk to: united kingdom, united states, canada, europe. these are some of the links i've found, if you need help searching for one, my inbox is always open!
warnings: substance abuse, religous themes, mentions of death & hospitals.
wc: 4.6k
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The church bells rang out over the small town of Willow Creek, their low hum rolling through the autumn air like a solemn hymn. Oscar stood at the edge of his front porch, adjusting the cuffs of his Sunday shirt as he waited for her. He always waited for her.
She emerged moments later from her house next door, pulling her shawl tighter against the chill. The hem of her modest dress caught the breeze, brushing against her knees as she approached. She didn’t say much, she never did on Sundays. Her gaze, solemn and steady, flicked toward the church steeple visible from the end of the street.
“Ready?” Oscar asked, though he already knew the answer.
She nodded, her braid catching the sunlight as they started down the gravel path.
The girl was his best friend, his constant, the one person in this quiet town who felt as real to him as the chipped paint on his window frame or the threadbare pews at St. Anne’s.
Their routine was always the same: church in the morning, quiet afternoons spent sitting on his porch or hers, talking about scripture or nothing at all. It was an existence that felt safe and good, built on a foundation as steady as the faith they shared.
But something had shifted in her lately. He couldn’t place it, not exactly. She still walked with him to church. She still bowed her head during the prayers, her lips moving silently along with the hymns. But her eyes were somewhere else, distant and restless, as though her thoughts had wandered too far and couldn’t find their way home.
“I heard Father O’Connell mention the youth retreat next month,” Oscar said, breaking the silence as they neared the church steps. “He said he’s hoping for a big turnout this year. Are you thinking of going?”
She hesitated. The pause was brief, but it was there, and Oscar caught it like a pebble in his shoe.
“Maybe,” she said, her voice quieter than usual. Then she offered him a faint smile, the kind that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “We’ll see.”
Oscar didn’t press her. He never did. But as they entered the church, he couldn’t help but notice the way her hand lingered at the edge of her shawl, clutching it like a tether.
It started with small things.
Oscar didn’t think much of it when she skipped their afternoon talks one Sunday. Her mum had said she wasn’t feeling well, and that made sense. People got sick; life happened. But then she missed the next Sunday, too. And the one after that.
She stopped coming to the Wednesday youth group meetings at church, which was even stranger. For as long as he could remember, she’d been one of the first to volunteer for scripture readings or help organise bake sales. Now, her name wasn’t even on the signup sheets.
Oscar wanted to ask her about it, but he couldn’t figure out how. It wasn’t like they had a friendship built on confrontation. They’d grown up side by side in the same pews, their lives as intertwined as the ivy creeping up the churchyard walls. But it was a quiet bond, one where words weren’t always necessary.
That’s what made the silence feel so loud.
One Friday afternoon, after work, Oscar saw her for the first time in weeks. She was sitting on the front steps of her house, legs crossed, the heel of her shoe tapping a restless rhythm against the wood.
“Hey,” he called as he approached, hands in his pockets. “Haven’t seen you around.”
She looked up, her expression unreadable. “Yeah, I’ve been busy.”
Busy. The word felt wrong coming from her, like a puzzle piece jammed into the wrong spot.
“Your mum said you were sick,” he said, testing the waters.
Her eyes flickered, just for a moment. “Yeah. That too.”
He leaned against the porch railing, watching her closely. There was something different about her, but he couldn’t pin it down. Her braid was still neat, her dress still modest, but the way she sat—loose, almost careless—was unfamiliar.
“You coming to youth group next week?” he asked, trying to keep his tone light.
She shrugged. “Probably not.”
“Why not?”
She looked at him then, really looked at him, and he felt like she was seeing through him instead of at him.
“Just not my thing right now,” she said, and there was an edge to her voice he didn’t recognise.
Oscar frowned. “You’ve been going for years.”
“Yeah, well,” she said, standing abruptly. “People change.”
And just like that, she disappeared inside, leaving Oscar alone on the porch with the sound of her footsteps echoing in his ears.
Over the next few weeks, Oscar saw less and less of her. When he did see her, she wasn’t the same.
The first time he noticed the guy, it was at the diner on Main Street. She was sitting in a booth near the window, her back to him, but he recognised her laugh instantly. She wasn’t alone.
The guy was tall, older, with a leather jacket slung over the back of his chair. He leaned in close when he talked to her, his hand brushing her arm like it was the most natural thing in the world. Oscar stood outside the diner for a long time, watching them through the glass.
When she turned her head and laughed again, Oscar caught a glimpse of her face. There was something wild in her expression, something unrestrained and electric. It scared him.
He didn’t tell her he’d seen her. He wasn’t sure why.
But the next Sunday, when her mum stopped him on his way to church, the worry in her eyes told him she’d seen it too.
“Have you talked to her?” her mum asked, her hands clasped tightly in front of her. “She’s… I don’t know what’s going on with her. She won’t talk to me.”
Oscar didn’t know what to say.
“I’m sure it’s just a phase,” he offered weakly.
Her mum smiled, but it was the kind of smile people gave at funerals.
“I hope so,” she said.
The next time Oscar saw her, it wasn’t at church or on her front porch. It was behind the convenience store on Elm Street, just after dusk.
He had been walking home, the kind of mindless stroll he often took when his thoughts got too loud. The streets were mostly empty, the only sounds the faint hum of a streetlamp and the crunch of gravel beneath his shoes.
He heard her before he saw her. Laughter—sharp, jagged, and nothing like the laugh he remembered. It came from the alley behind the store, followed by the low murmur of voices.
Oscar turned the corner, and there she was.
She leaned against the brick wall, her arms crossed loosely over her chest, a cigarette dangling from her fingers. The glow of the lighter in the guy’s hand caught her face just long enough for Oscar to see the hollow beneath her eyes, the strange way her smile curled at the edges, like she wasn’t entirely sure it belonged there.
The guy was the same one from the diner, older and out of place in this small town. He said something to her, and she threw her head back in laughter, her voice ringing out into the quiet night.
Oscar froze. She looked so different. Her braid was gone, her hair loose and tangled, framing a face that seemed sharper, thinner. Her clothes were casual but careless, like she’d grabbed the first things within reach. She didn’t look like the girl he’d grown up with—the girl who bowed her head in prayer and scolded him when he skipped scripture reading. She looked like someone else entirely.
The guy noticed Oscar first. He smirked, nudging her with his elbow. “Friend of yours?”
She turned her head, her smile fading when she saw him. For a moment, something flickered in her expression—guilt, maybe, or shame—but it was gone as quickly as it came.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, her voice sharper than he expected.
“I could ask you the same thing,” he said, his throat dry.
She rolled her eyes and took a drag from the cigarette, exhaling smoke into the cold air. “It’s none of your business, Oscar.”
“It is my business,” he said, stepping closer. “You’re my friend.”
She laughed, but it was a brittle sound, lacking any real warmth. “Yeah, well, friends don’t follow each other around like lost puppies.”
Oscar felt the words like a slap, but he didn’t back down. “This isn’t you,” he said quietly. “What are you doing with him?”
The guy smirked again, clearly enjoying the tension. “Relax, man. She’s fine.”
“No one asked you,” Oscar snapped, his voice louder than he intended.
The guy raised his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. I’ll leave you two to it.” He handed her the lighter, brushing her fingers with his in a way that made Oscar’s stomach turn, and walked off down the alley.
She didn’t look at Oscar right away. Instead, she stared at the lighter in her hand, turning it over like it was a puzzle she couldn’t solve.
“I’m fine,” she said finally, her voice softer but still distant. “You don’t have to worry about me.”
“You’re not fine,” Oscar said, his frustration bubbling over. “You’ve stopped coming to church. You won’t talk to your mum. And now you’re…” He trailed off, gesturing helplessly toward the cigarette still in her hand.
She sighed, tilting her head back against the wall. “I don’t need a lecture, okay? I get enough of that at home.”
“I’m not trying to lecture you,” he said, his voice cracking. “I just… I don’t understand. Why are you doing this?”
Her gaze flicked to his, and for a brief moment, he saw something raw in her eyes—pain, anger, maybe even fear. But then she blinked, and the mask was back.
“Maybe I’m tired of being the perfect little Catholic girl,” she said, her tone light but cutting. “Did you ever think of that?”
Oscar stared at her, searching for the girl he knew beneath the stranger in front of him. “This isn’t you,” he repeated, his voice barely above a whisper.
She pushed off the wall, brushing past him. “Maybe you never really knew me.”
And just like that, she was gone, leaving him standing alone in the alley, the faint scent of smoke lingering in the air.
That night, Oscar lay awake, staring at the cracks in his ceiling. He wanted to help her, to pull her out of whatever dark place she’d fallen into, but he didn’t know how. She wouldn’t let him.
For the first time in years, he prayed not for himself, but for her.
“God,” he whispered into the stillness of his room. “Please. Bring her back.”
It became a pattern.
Oscar would see her slipping further away, each time a little less like the girl he had grown up with and a little more like a stranger. Sometimes it was behind the convenience store. Other times he saw her stumbling out of a car that didn’t belong in their quiet town, the headlights cutting through the dark as it sped off, leaving her swaying on the curb.
She wasn’t hiding it anymore.
When their paths crossed now, she barely looked at him. Her words, when she offered any, were short and cold, like she was daring him to stop caring. But he couldn’t stop.
So he prayed.
Every night, he knelt by his bed, his hands clasped tightly together, his eyes shut so hard it hurt. He prayed for her to come back, for her to see what she was doing to herself. He prayed for the strength to find the right words, the right actions, anything to pull her out of this spiral. But every morning, when he saw her again—laughing too loud, her eyes bloodshot and empty—it felt like no one was listening.
One night, well past midnight, there was a knock on his window. He woke with a start, his heart pounding, and stumbled to open it. She was standing there, her hair tangled and wild, her face streaked with something he couldn’t tell if it was makeup or tears.
“You need to stop,” she said, her voice slurred but venomous.
“Stop what?” he asked, his voice barely audible.
“Praying for me,” she snapped. “I know you’re doing it. Just… stop.”
Her words stung, but what hurt more was the way she looked at him—like he was the enemy. Before he could respond, she turned and disappeared into the night, leaving him standing in the cold.
A week later, it was her mum who knocked—not on his window, but on his door.
Oscar opened it to find her standing on the porch, her face pale and drawn, her eyes red from crying. She looked older than he’d ever seen her, like the weight of the world had settled on her shoulders and wouldn’t let go.
“Hi, Ms,” he said, stepping aside to let her in.
She didn’t move. Instead, she stood there, clutching the edge of her sweater like it was the only thing keeping her together. “Oscar,” she began, her voice trembling. “I didn’t know who else to come to.”
He felt his stomach sink. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s her,” she said, her voice cracking. “She’s… I don’t know what’s happening to her. She barely comes home anymore. And when she does…” She broke off, pressing a hand to her mouth.
Oscar didn’t need her to finish. He’d seen it all himself.
“I’ve tried talking to her,” Her mother continued, her words spilling out in a rush. “I’ve begged her to stop, to come back to church, to tell me what’s going on, but she won’t listen. She doesn’t even look at me anymore. And now…” She trailed off again, her shoulders shaking as tears filled her eyes.
Oscar reached out instinctively, placing a hand on her arm. “Ms…”
She shook her head, brushing his hand away. “I don’t know what to do, Oscar. She’s slipping away from me, and I can’t stop it. I thought maybe you could… I don’t know. Talk to her. Get through to her. She listens to you, doesn’t she?”
The desperation in her voice was like a knife in his chest.
“She used to,” he admitted, his throat tight. “But not anymore. She won’t let me help her. I’ve tried. I’ve tried so many times.”
Her face crumpled, and she let out a sob, covering her face with her hands. “She’s all I have,” she choked out. “It’s just me and her. I don’t know how to do this alone.”
Oscar hesitated, his heart breaking at the sight of her. He wanted to promise her that he could fix everything, that he’d bring her daughter back, but the words wouldn’t come. He didn’t know if he could keep that promise.
Instead, he did the only thing he could think of. He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her. She stiffened for a moment, then broke down completely, her sobs muffled against his shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his own voice shaking. “I’m so sorry.”
They stood like that for what felt like an eternity, the house silent except for her quiet, broken cries.
When she finally pulled away, wiping her eyes, she gave him a look so full of raw hope it made his chest ache. “Please, Oscar,” she said. “Don’t give up on her.”
He nodded, though his heart was heavy with doubt. “I won’t.”
But as he watched her walk back across the front garden to her house, the weight of the promise settled over him like a stone. He didn’t know how to save someone who didn’t want saving.
So that night, like every night before, he knelt by his bed and prayed.
“God,” he whispered into the darkness, his voice trembling. “Please. Show me what to do.”
That night the ringing of his phone jolted Oscar out of a restless sleep. For a moment, he thought it was his alarm, but the screen glowed faintly in the dark: Unknown Number.
He rubbed his eyes and answered, his voice groggy. “Hello?”
The sound on the other end wasn’t words at first. It was crying—deep, heaving sobs that clawed at his chest before he even recognised her voice.
“It’s me,” she managed between gasps.
Oscar sat up so quickly the blankets slid off his lap. “Where are you? What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know,” she choked out. “I’m… I’m at this party, and I—I took something, and now I can’t—” Her voice cracked, and she let out another sob. “I feel so weird, Oscar. I feel like I’m dying.”
His heart dropped. “You’re not dying,” he said quickly, already grabbing his keys from the nightstand. “You’re not. I’m coming to get you. Just tell me where you are.”
She mumbled the address through her tears, barely coherent, but he caught enough to recognise the street. It was across town, the kind of neighborhood he tried to avoid.
“Stay where you are,” he said, his voice shaking. “Don’t move. I’m on my way.”
He hung up and bolted for the door, his chest tight with fear.
The streets were eerily quiet as he sped through town, the glow of his headlights slicing through the darkness. His mind raced faster than the car, flashing through every worst-case scenario he could imagine. He gripped the wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white, his foot pressing harder on the gas.
When he turned onto the street, he knew he was in the right place. Cars were lined haphazardly along the curb, some with doors still hanging open. Music blared from the house, but the sound was disjointed, chaotic.
And then he saw them.
A wave of people surged out the front door, spilling into the front garden and onto the street. They were shouting, laughing, some tripping over themselves in their haste to leave. Oscar pulled over and jumped out of the car, his heart pounding.
“What’s going on?” he yelled at one of them, grabbing a guy by the arm.
“Cops are coming,” the guy slurred, shaking him off. “Some girl OD’d, man. It’s bad.”
Oscar didn’t wait to hear more. He shoved his way through the crowd, pushing against the flow of bodies until he reached the front door. The smell hit him first—alcohol, smoke, and something sour underneath.
Inside, the scene was chaos. The music was still blaring, but most of the partygoers were gone, leaving behind overturned cups and broken bottles. He stepped over a pile of discarded coats and followed the sound of a frantic voice.
In the living room, he found her.
She was lying on the floor, her face pale, looking like nothing he’d ever seen before. A girl about their age was kneeling beside her, pressing her hands against her chest in a desperate rhythm.
“Come on,” the girl muttered, her voice shaking. “Come on, don’t do this.” She glanced up briefly, her phone pressed to her ear. “Yeah, I’m doing compressions,” she said into the receiver. “Please, hurry.”
Oscar froze for a moment, the sight stealing the air from his lungs. She looked so small, so fragile. Her hair was damp with sweat, her lips tinged blue.
The girl performing CPR looked up again, her eyes wild. “Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to help?”
Her words jolted him into motion. He dropped to his knees beside them, his hands trembling as he reached for her. “What happened?” he asked, his voice cracking.
“I don’t know,” the girl snapped. “She took something—pills, I think. Someone said it was laced, but I don’t know with what.” 
Oscar’s hands hovered uselessly over her, his mind racing. He didn’t know what to do. He’d never been trained for this, never thought he’d need to be.
But he knew he needed to do something, looking at the girl in front of him, he watched her hands and pushed them aside, continuing for her. 
“She went upstairs to take a phone call, walked back in and collapsed.” The girl sat back on her heels, then leaned forward to blow two breaths into her mouth. “They thought it was a joke at first, but it all got so serious all of a sudden.” Oscar continued the same rhythm on her chest, watching as the girl flexed her hands nervously. Underneath his breath, he was silently praying that someone was listening, because in the last couple of weeks he was beginning to lose faith. No one listened to him when he was desperate, begging for someone to save her.
“Stay with me,” the other girl murmured, her voice cracking as tears streamed down her face. “Don’t you dare give up.”
The distant wail of sirens broke through the chaos, growing louder with every passing second. Relief flooded Oscar’s chest, but it was fleeting. He looked down at her pale, lifeless face and felt the weight of every prayer he’d ever whispered.
“God,” he said under his breath, his voice breaking. “Please. Don’t take her.”
The sirens grew deafening as the paramedics burst through the door. Oscar was pulled back, forced to watch as they took over, their voices calm but urgent as they worked to save her.
He didn’t realise he was crying until he tasted salt on his lips.
As they loaded her onto a stretcher and wheeled her out the door, Oscar followed, his legs unsteady but his resolve firm. He wasn’t leaving her—not now, not ever.
He watched them close the doors of the back of the ambulance and ran back to his car to follow them when he saw the girl weakly walk out of the house. He could have just left her, but she had just saved his best friend’s life. Instead, he walked back up to the house, hugged her and offered her a lift.
When Oscar finally got to the hospital, it was cold and quiet in a way that felt wrong, like it was holding its breath. Oscar sat in the hard plastic chair next to her bed, his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped tightly together. He had barely spoken to anyone since they arrived, giving only short, clipped answers to the nurses’ questions.
He didn’t know how long he sat there, staring at her pale face, willing her to wake up. The IV in her arm looked too big, too intrusive, and the steady beeping of the heart monitor was the only thing anchoring him to the moment.
Finally, her eyelids fluttered.
He shot upright, his breath catching as she groaned softly, her head turning toward him. Her eyes opened slowly, unfocused and heavy, but when they landed on him, recognition flickered.
“Oscar?” she croaked, her voice barely audible.
Tears sprang to his eyes, and he let out a shaky laugh that was more relief than joy. “Yeah, it’s me,” he said, his voice thick. He reached for her hand, squeezing it gently. “You scared the hell out of me.”
He never cursed. 
She blinked, her gaze shifting to the IV in her arm, the sterile hospital room around her. “What happened?”
“You don’t remember?” he asked, his voice breaking.
She shook her head weakly, then winced. “I… I don’t know. I was at the party, and then…” Her voice trailed off, her brows furrowing as if the memory was too painful to touch.
Oscar leaned closer, his face inches from hers. “What were you thinking?” he asked, his voice low but trembling. “Do you have any idea what could’ve happened to you? You could’ve—” He stopped himself, his chest heaving as he swallowed back the lump in his throat.
This wasn’t what she needed to hear.
She looked away, tears slipping down her cheeks. “I didn’t mean to,” she whispered. “I didn’t think it would…”
Oscar let out a shuddering breath, running a hand through his hair. “I thought I lost you,” he admitted, his voice barely audible.
They sat in silence, the weight of his words hanging between them.
A nurse came in not long after, checking her vitals and saying she’d be discharged soon. Oscar nodded numbly, his mind already racing.
When they stepped out of the hospital, the chill of the early morning air hit them both. He helped her to the car, her steps unsteady, and buckled her into the passenger seat. She leaned her head against the window, her eyes glassy and distant.
“I’ll call your mum,” he said, turning the key in the ignition.
“No,” she said quickly, her voice hoarse but firm.
Oscar paused, his hand on the wheel. “I need to tell her. I stopped the hospital from calling her.”
“Please, don’t,” she said, her voice breaking. She turned to him, her eyes pleading. “I can’t face her right now.”
He hesitated, the conflict written all over his face. “What do you want me to do?” he asked finally, his voice soft.
“Just drive,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
So he did.
They didn’t talk as the car rumbled down the empty highway. The radio was off, the only sounds the hum of the engine and the occasional rustle of her shifting in her seat.
She didn’t cry, but her silence was heavy, and Oscar didn’t push her. He kept his eyes on the road, his hands gripping the wheel tightly.
After a couple of hours, her breathing evened out, and when he glanced over, he saw that she’d fallen asleep, her face turned toward him, her expression soft but exhausted.
He sighed, his chest aching with a mix of relief and sadness. He took the next exit and drove toward her house.
When they arrived, it was still early, the sky a pale gray as dawn broke. He parked in front of her house, then got out and walked around to her side. Carefully, he opened the door and unbuckled her seatbelt, slipping an arm under her knees and another around her back.
She stirred slightly as he lifted her, but she didn’t wake. Her head lolled against his chest, and he carried her up the porch steps and knocked softly on the door.
It swung open almost immediately, and her mum stood there, her face a mixture of worry and exhaustion. When she saw her daughter in his arms, she let out a strangled cry, her hands flying to her mouth.
“She’s okay,” Oscar said quickly, his voice gentle. “She’s just sleeping.”
Her mum nodded, tears streaming down her face. She stepped aside, and he carried her inside, laying her gently on the sofa.
Her mother sank to her knees beside her, sobbing quietly as she brushed the hair from her daughter’s face. “Thank you,” she whispered, looking up at Oscar. “Thank you for bringing her home.”
Oscar knelt beside her, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “She’s going to be okay,” he said softly, though he wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince her or himself.
They sat there for a while, her mum’s quiet cries filling the silence.
Eventually, Oscar cleared his throat. “Do you have a spare set of sheets?” he asked.
She looked at him, confused. “Why?”
“I’m going to stay,” he said. “Just for tonight. I’ll sleep on the floor. I want to make sure she’s okay.”
Her mum nodded, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. “Thank you,” she said again, her voice breaking.
Later, after setting up a makeshift bed on the floor beside the couch, Oscar lay there, staring at the ceiling. The room was quiet now, her mum having gone to bed, but he could hear her breathing softly above him.
He closed his eyes and whispered another prayer, one of gratitude this time.
“Thank you,” he murmured. “Thank you for giving her another chance.”
And for the first time in a long time, he felt like someone was listening.
the end.
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tthoroughfare · 2 days ago
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kerosene (part 2) // ellie williams
*・゜゚・* summary: the one where she breaks up with cat.
*・゜゚・* pairing: jackson!ellie x reader
*・゜゚・* content: sfw
*・゜゚・* length: 0.8k
this is part two of this series! find part one here
I AM ENJOYING WRITING THIS SO MUCH i literally don't want them to get together because i just love yearning so much sighhh. i'm already up to the part where things finally happen and i know i'm gonna end up posting those, then going back and writing little extra parts to slot in where they're still friends. anywayyy hope you enjoy <3
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something about the conversation makes ellie deliberate for weeks. it was the way you’d spoken about your relationship just not feeling ‘right’, the way she couldn’t really verbalize anything she felt like she should say about cat. she doesn’t know if she’s just overthinking everything. cat’s great. sure, she can’t see herself spending the rest of her life with her, but she makes her happy. they have fun. they have things in common. she feels like she starts to make a mental list of all the reasons they’re together, analyzing the relationship, analyzing her own feelings. she can’t shake the notion that now they’re settled in, the excitement of newness gone, she, too, feels like something isn’t ‘right’.
she hopes it just goes away on its own. but when just over a month passes and nothing has changed, she knows she has to just do it. 
it starts off as a regular day; she meets cat at a spot they frequent, stomach churning at the anticipation. she wants to just rip the band-aid off, but she can’t. the words won’t come out. she flounders around for a while, talking about nothing, knowing full well cat can tell something’s up. finally, when she straight up asks her why she’s being weird, she just comes out and says it. she wants to break up.
of course, she feels awful. cat’s confused, and crying, and asking all kind of questions ellie can’t really express any answers to. she’s upset about it, too. but she just knows in her heart it’s for the better.
it’s cemented when she’s walking back home, realizing she feels a little lighter.
she sees you properly again about a week later, when there’s an event in jackson. she really wasn’t planning on going, not wanting to risk seeing cat (not wanting to have to interact with anyone, pretty much), but dina had convinced her, saying she ‘can’t lock herself away forever.’
she walks in late, party already in full swing, and immediately spots you in the corner chatting to jesse. you haven’t actually spoken in a few weeks, just a greeting when you saw each other out and about, but you seem happier than you were before. she kicks herself mentally when she finds herself hoping it’s not because you’ve found someone new.
she awkwardly hovers around, getting herself a drink and sipping it, people watching. these things were never her idea of a great time.
after about ten minutes, dina appears at her side, visibly tipsy. “what the hell are you doing?” she asks playfully, gesturing at the room full of people. “you’re a single woman now, c’mon. get out there.”
ellie pulls a face, rolling her eyes and taking a sip of her drink. “yeah, that's definitely my style.”
dina lets out a short, exasperated sigh, taking ellie by the wrist and tugging her across the room, towards you and jesse. “at least socialize. you’re all… weird. more than usual.”
“oh, shut up,” she retorts lowly, but allows herself to be hauled over to the two of you. her stomach flutters slightly when she gets a proper look at you; you’re a little more done-up than normal, eyes sparkling in the warm light as you greet her.
she doesn’t know if it’s the alcohol or something else, but that night is the first time things start to feel explicitly different. on one hand, it’s similar to how it was before — the odd pleasantness dissipated in the air. it feels more like a real friendship again, rather than two people dancing around each other. but on the other, something just feels… new.
she actually ends up having a really good time. she spends the majority of the night with you, drinking more than you both probably should, conversation flowing easily. and when it’s over, she insists on walking you home, despite you saying dina’s staying the night and you weren’t going to be alone anyway.
she just shrugs and smiles.
on the short walk back, dina’s chatting your ear off, thoroughly drunk, but you can’t really focus on anything she’s saying. not just because of the fuzzy feeling in your head, but because of the way you’re so, so aware of ellie’s presence. you’re walking in between them, noticing the way she seems to gravitate towards you, swaying away slightly, then back in. you cross your arms, not wanting to accidentally brush against her, not really understanding why.
she lingers at the door when you get home, dina heading straight in and kicking her shoes off, flopping down on your couch.
“well… thanks. you’re free to go,” you joke after a small pause.
ellie shoots a lopsided smile, leaning against the doorframe. “welcome.” she pauses, like she doesn’t want to go, like she wants to say something. but she doesn’t. she just taps the doorframe and stands up straight. “see you later.”
dina yells out a ‘bye, ellie’, and you wave goodbye as she turns around to leave, trying not to think about the way that smile sent your stomach all funny. “get home safe. update me on the hangover.”
she looks over her shoulder at you as she walks away, chuckling. “will do.”
you go to close the door, watching her stuff her hands into her pockets and make her way down the street for a moment too long.
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withwritersblock · 12 hours ago
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No Caller ID pt. 2
~No Caller ID by Megan Moroney~
Author's Note: the people wanted a part two so you get a part two lmao at midnight because I have no self control Summary: Y/N goes against her friends advice Warnings: implied smut Word Count: 2,159 Jack Hughes xfm!reader Part one
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She sat in her car staring at the time hit midnight and she was seriously contemplating on driving home. She promised her friends that she would stop seeing him. Swore that the last time was the last time except she was sitting in his parking garage to his apartment. 
He asked her to come over and talk. Which usually led to them making out and falling asleep in each other’s arms. When she agreed to go over there and just talk, she had every intention of ending it with him. But now that she was sitting in the parking garage, her heart was starting to sing another song. 
Ever since they ended it, he has been treating her a lot better. Maybe it was the whole thing of finding out what you lost. 
Jack sent her another text, telling her that he was waiting for her upstairs. Her heart jumped in her throat and it suddenly got hard to breathe. She shouldn’t be nervous or even slightly nervous. They’ve continued this pattern since they broke up and she never used to have a problem with that. Well, until her friends got involved.
Y/N was much happier knowing that her adventures with her ex-boyfriend were just between herself and him. 
A sigh fell from her lips as she pulled her keys from her ignition and took a hold of her bag. She climbed out of her car, locking it in the process before she started walking towards the elevator.
After a few minutes she reached his apartment. Instead of knocking, she texted him. It was the rule they mutually and silently agreed upon. It was easier to keep his brother and her roommates not involved in what they were doing. 
It only took seconds for Jack to open the door, he had a toothy grin on his lips as he stepped aside letting her into the apartment. He locked it quickly before he wrapped his arms around her, engulfing her in a tight hug. A soft giggle from her lips as she pressed her head against his chest. 
His hands glided into her hair as he stumbled backwards slightly. “Hey goregous,” he whispered before he pressed his lips to the side of her head. Slowly, he pulled away from her, keeping his hands around her waist. “Come on,” he muttered. 
She started walking towards the hallway. Walking behind her, he rested his hands onto her stomach as he pulled her back against his chest. Another laugh left her lips as they continued to stumble towards his room. She pushed the door open as they both stepped inside. Slipping his hands away from her, he shut the door and twisted the lock.
Y/N turned around to meet his gaze and without hesitation he took a hold of her waist. She rested her hands onto the base of his neck. “Hey pretty boy,” she whispered as she scanned his features. A smirk toyed to his lips as he leaned towards her to try and kiss her but she pulled back. His lips fell into a pout as he furrowed his eyebrows.
“Gorgeous?” he let out softly. 
“We need to talk before we do that,” she mumbled. He took a deep breath as he glided his hands up her back. 
“Yeah, we do,” he let out as he pointed towards the mattress. She climbed onto the mattress, sitting at the center of bed. He sat down beside her, keeping his gaze towards his lap. 
“I’m gonna talk and you’re going to listen,” she started as she pulled her knees towards her chest. Pursing his lips forward, he nodded. “We were together for almost two years and it was perfect for a while and then it was bad for long time. Like a long time. You treated me like I didn’t matter-”
“Y/N-”
“I’m gonna talk and you’re going to listen,” she said again as she met his gaze. He nodded, “I ended things with you because I thought I deserved better. Which I know I still do but here I am in your bed,” she muttered as she met his eye, “It’s been six months of us doing whatever this is and this is the best you’ve treated me. Which is saying a lot because what the hell are we doing?” she said, teary eyed.
At first, he didn’t say anything. 
She met his gaze, shaking her head slightly. “Can I talk now?” he asked, somewhat jokingly. 
“Yes,” she said, a giggle falling from her lips. She pushed him away. He chuckled as he took a deep breath. 
“I realized that I was letting everything get to my head and I let you slip away from me because I was a dick,” he muttered as he inched towards her. “When you ended things, I realized that I messed up and these past few months is me trying to fix things with you,” he leaned towards her, trying to meet her eye. Avoiding his gaze, she kept her gaze towards her lap. He took a hold of her chin, forcing her gaze towards him. “I don’t know what we’re doing but I’m enjoying every second of it,” he whispered.
“My friends all hate you, you know,” she let out barely above a whisper.
“I don’t think they’ve ever liked me,” he said with a teasing smirk on his lips. “But I’m going to try and fix this for as long as you’ll let me,” he whispered as he leaned towards her. He hovered his lips over hers for a moment, “How long will you let me?” he mumbled against her lips.
Instead of replying, she leaned towards him and kissed him urgently. Slowly, she climbed onto his lap. His hands delicately took a hold of her waist, gripping her body tightly as she ran her fingers through his hair.
“Hey,” he mumbled before she devoured his lips once more. He moaned against her lips as she tugged his hair. “Hey,” he said as he tilted his head back. Her lips fell into a pout as she leaned her head against his forehead.
“Jack,” she whispered, looking into his eyes.
“We can’t until-” he let out as his gaze dipped lower towards her lips. “Until we’re back together or we can’t if we’re not,” he mumbled as he dragged his tongue across his bottom lip.
She took in a deep breath, staring towards his lips. Her entire body was covered in goosebumps as her body was tingling. Leaning forward, she rested her head onto his shoulder, a groan falling from her lips. He chuckled as he pressed his lips to the side of her head. 
After a few seconds, she lifted her head; scanning his features. “You’re really making that boundary, right now? When I can feel-” he interrupted her with his laughter. “You’re an ass, you know that?” she teased as she took a hold of his cheeks. Her thumbs dragged across the apples of his cheeks.
“What are you thinking?” he asked as he lowered his gaze towards her lips again.
“I’m thinking-” she trailed off for a moment as she stared towards his lips and the grin forming to his lips. “I’m thinking my friends are going to hate me too,” she mumbled before she lifted her gaze to meet his gaze. His eyes squinted slightly as he shifted his gaze from one eye to the other multiple times. 
Leaning towards him, she kissed him urgently. He moaned against her mouth as he tugged her closer to him by the fabric of her t-shirt. “I kinda need you to say it,” he muttered between kisses. 
She pulled back and took a hold of her shirt and tossed it towards the floor. “We’re back together,” she let out before she took a hold of his shirt; tugging it up. 
“Are you only saying that so we would have sex?” he asked teasingly. Her eyes widened as she pulled his shirt from his body towards the floor. Her fingertips instantly began to glide along his muscle lines.
“I’m never that desperate,” she mumbled as she continued to watch his muscles tense under his touch. “We’re back together because I’m in love with you and you finally make me feel good,” she explained as she avoided his gaze. 
Taking a hold of her chin, her forced her to meet his eye. “I’m in love with you,” he said barely above a whisper. Her lips curled upward slightly as he glided his hand towards the base of her neck, pulling her towards him. He devoured her lips with his as she began to slowly grind against his lap. Her fingers glided through his hair as he tightened his hands around her waist. 
Tilting her head back, he began to trial wet kisses down her neck. He began to suck and bite her skin above her collarbone; purposely swirling his tongue along the reddening marks on her body. Her breathing quickened as she took a hold of his cheeks, lifting his gaze towards her. She pulled him towards her, kissing him.
“Lay down,” he mumbled against her lips. She nodded as she climbed off of his lap and laid down onto the bed. Jack stood up from the bed and slipped his gray sweatpants from his frame. A giggle fell from her lips before he climbed on top of her, he rested both of his hands on either side of her head as he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers.
~~~
She laid in bed staring towards the ceiling watching the sun come up through his window as she covered her frame with his comforter. He was asleep beside her, facing towards the window. She was always the early riser in their relationship, he would sleep for twenty-four hours if he could. 
It was early, early enough that she probably could sneak out and Luke wouldn’t find out. But if they were back together, why was she worried about that. 
After a few more minutes of staring towards the ceiling and looking towards the sunrise, she heard Jack stir beside her. He rolled over and faced her. “So early, baby, why are you up?” he mumbled as he wrapped his arm around her stomach, he pulled her towards him. Jack pressed his lips against the side of her head. His eyes were still shut. She smiled softly.
“Usually sneak out at this time,” she mumbled. He chuckled as he pressed his lips against her head again.
“You don’t need to do that anymore, right baby?” he mumbled as he slowly sat up sleepily looking down towards her. She smiled up towards him as she delicately took a hold of his cheek. Y/N glided her thumb across his cheek. 
“No I don’t,” she mumbled. He smiled before he leaned down and delicately pressed his lips against hers. “Because we’re back,” she muttered against his lips. 
“So back,” he said teasingly as he took a hold of her thigh and pulled her towards him. She giggled as he kissed her again.
After another hour, she left Jack’s apartment alone because he had to go to morning skate. 
The entire drive back towards her apartment she was freaking out. She just got back together with the guy that her friends couldn’t hate more. 
She stepped back into her apartment to see Georgia and Bethany were chatting in their living room. They both held mugs in their hands as they were laughing. Y/N tried to sneak into the apartment without being noticed. 
But it didn’t take a single second for them to switch their gaze towards her. Y/N fought the smirk forming to her lips as she tried to walk straight towards her bedroom. 
“Where the hell have you been?” Bethany asked, a smirk on her lips. Georgia sat frustratingly as she brought her mug toward her lips. Y/N shook her head as she tried to continue towards her room. “No, Miss Thing, you gotta tell us who gave you that hickey and don’t you think about lying,” 
“Fine, fine-fine!” she said as she walked towards the living room. She glanced down towards her chest, to see the red spots covering several parts of her chest. “M-my boyfriend gave them to me,” she said barely above a whisper. 
“You did not! Girl I swear,” Georgia said as she shook her head.
“N-no, you don’t get to have an opinion anymore, okay? Is this a mistake? Probably, I don’t know! But this is my mistake to make. I love him and I’ve been happy with him and I’m gonna stay happy, okay. So be happy for me,” she explained as she tossed her jacket onto the couch. “And If I’m crying over him in a few months then you get to say I told you so,”
Georgia and Bethany shared a few glances before they nodded. “Okay, then,” they said at the same time.
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littlelamy · 1 day ago
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Perhaps a reverse status thing. Pouge Rafe and Kook Reader request. The plot itself came from some short film Drew did in college. Maybe Reader gets set up a blind date at the country club, where Rafe works as a bartender. Rafe is very flirty when she sits down etc, but gets disappointed when hearing why she is there. In walks her blind date and it’s a girl (Reader is straight – and her cousin thought she was a lesbian since she’s never been on a date with a guy)
a/n: thank you for requesting, hope you like it! ⭐️
you had never been to the country club before.
well, that wasn’t entirely true. your parents had dragged you to a few formal events, but it had always felt stiff, uncomfortable, like everyone was watching your every move. judging you. it was nothing like the easy, carefree vibe you were used to.
but this wasn’t about you. this was about your cousin, who was convinced you were a lesbian.
you still didn’t understand how she’d come to that conclusion. maybe it was because you’d never gone on a date with a guy before, or maybe it was because you didn’t constantly talk about guys like some of the other girls at school. either way, she thought she knew what was best for you.
and, in her mind, setting you up with a blind date was the only answer.
“she’s perfect for you!” your cousin had insisted, holding up her phone with a wide grin. “you’ll love her, I swear.”
you raised an eyebrow. “but… it’s a girl?”
your cousin waved you off. “yeah, don’t worry, you’ll see—when you meet her, you’ll know what I’m talking about.”
you sighed.
despite your doubts, you agreed. but when you walked into the country club tonight, you still couldn’t shake the sense of discomfort. the club was upscale, fancy—nothing like the laid-back world you were used to. the stuffy atmosphere hit you as soon as you walked through the door, and you were immediately regretting agreeing to this setup.
you passed a few people standing around in their expensive outfits, pretending to enjoy the social atmosphere. your eyes scanned the crowd, looking for your blind date, though you weren’t even sure what to look for.
before you could find a place to stand, you heard a voice behind you.
“can I get you a drink?”
you turned around to see the bartender—a guy with a white shirt, sleeves rolled up, his hair slightly tousled in that messy but purposefully styled way. his smirk was as easy and casual as his demeanor, and something about the way he looked at you made your heart beat just a little faster.
“um, I’m just waiting for someone,” you answered, a little too quickly.
he raised an eyebrow. “blind date?”
you blinked in surprise. “how’d you know?”
he chuckled, a low, warm sound. “you have that look. but if you change your mind, I’m rafe.” he leaned against the bar, arms crossed, studying you with a smirk still playing on his lips.
you couldn’t help but smile back, though you immediately reminded yourself to keep your cool. he was probably just a flirt—guys like him didn’t pay attention to someone like you, right?
“y/n,” you said, giving him your name before turning to scan the room again.
rafe didn’t seem to mind the lack of conversation, though. “I’d offer to buy you a drink, but since you’re waiting for someone…” he trailed off, clearly not bothered.
you couldn’t help but laugh, feeling a little less tense in the face of his charm. maybe the night wasn’t going to be thatbad.
but as soon as you turned to look at the door, a figure entered, and you froze.
your cousin had set you up with a girl.
you glanced at rafe again, but he wasn’t looking at you. his attention was fully on the figure walking into the club—the same person you assumed was your blind date.
the girl was dressed in a sleek dress, exuding an air of confidence you didn’t have. and as she made her way toward you, you could already tell it wasn’t going to be an easy night.
rafe seemed to notice the awkward silence that settled between you and your blind date. he tilted his head, clearly confused. “uh, not the date you were expecting?”
you looked at him, feeling more self-conscious now. no, not at all.
rafe watched you closely, his expression flickering between amusement and mild confusion as he glanced between you and the girl approaching.
you cleared your throat, trying to focus. “this… this isn’t who I thought I was meeting.” you felt a heat rise in your cheeks, cursing your cousin for this miscommunication.
the girl who had walked in was smiling, looking completely at ease in this environment—this was her world. the country club, the people who belonged here, the perfection in her every movement. she looked out of place beside you.
you forced a smile, standing up awkwardly as she approached. “hi,” you greeted, extending your hand in a handshake. “I’m y/n.”
she returned the handshake with a friendly smile. “glad to meet you, i’m mia.”
“mia,” you repeated, a little thrown off.
rafe, still leaning casually against the bar, watched the interaction with interest. you couldn’t tell if he was still unsure of what was going on or if he was just curious.
“so,” mia started, looking at you with a bemused expression. “how long have you known your cousin?”
you stammered a little, caught off guard by the question. “uh, a while, like since birth.”
she smiled again, but this time it felt more like a question mark than an invitation for conversation.
you didn’t want to be rude, but this was getting uncomfortable. rafe’s presence felt like a lifeline, even if you barely knew him. you glanced over at him, meeting his eyes for just a moment.
“so, mia,” you tried to fill the silence. “do you, uh, come here often?”
before she could answer, rafe cut in, his tone playful. “don’t mind me, but you look a little confused. are you two... supposed to be on a date?”
the way rafe asked, with that charming smirk of his, made you laugh nervously. mia, however, raised an eyebrow.
“um, yeah,” she answered, turning to him with a slight smile. “I think so.”
but the confusion between you two lingered. rafe glanced over at you and then at mia, clearly trying to figure out the situation.
as the evening wore on, the awkwardness continued to hang in the air like a heavy cloud. you and mia had little in common—nothing that your cousin had anticipated, nothing that made the blind date feel right.
at one point, you excused yourself to the restroom, your mind a mess of confusion and frustration. when you returned, rafe was still behind the bar, but he’d been joined by a few other people.
you made your way back to the bar, more than ready to escape the tension. when rafe saw you coming, he gave you a quick smile, the kind that made you feel like maybe everything wasn’t as hopeless as it had seemed a few minutes ago.
“how’s it going?” he asked, his voice quieter now.
you sighed, sinking into the stool. “it’s terrible. this whole thing was a disaster.”
rafe’s smirk faded, replaced by a look of understanding. he leaned in a little, lowering his voice. “so... your cousin didn’t tell you it was a girl?”
you shook your head, laughing softly. “she did. she's so sure that i'm a lesbian. thought she was helping me out.”
rafe chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. “I don’t know whether to laugh or feel sorry for you.”
“feel sorry,” you muttered.
he smiled, a genuine warmth to it. “you know, if you want, I could get you out of here. just say the word, and I’ll tell your blind date you had an emergency.”
you laughed at the offer. maybe rafe wasn’t so bad after all.
“you’d do that?” you teased.
“hey, it’s my job to make people feel comfortable,” he said with a wink. “even if it means sabotaging a blind date.”
taglist: @namelesslosers @princessslutt @averyoceanblvd @iknowdatsrightbih @starkeysprincess @sixrosberg @anamiad00msday @ivysprophecy @wearemadeofstardust0 @kissrotten @rafesangelita @sstargirln @rafedaddy01 @soldesole @bakugouswaif @skywalker0809 @vanessa-rafesgirl @evermorx89 @aariahnaa @outerhills @ditzyzombiesblog
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dominicfikeenthusiast · 2 days ago
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UNSENT LETTERS (PART 4) / MATT STURNIOLO
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“old shoe box underneath his bed, filled with love letters”
part 1 part 2 part 3
matt had just got out of the shower, which was freezing cold, in hopes to clear his mind. today was the big lacrosse game, against one of the schools biggest rivals. matt quickly packed up his uniform and equipment driving with chris to school in order to get there early for practice.
when the team finishes getting ready, the coach huddles everyone up for a quick meeting. matt’s eyes drifting to brayden, that smug little smile on his face, was it smug or was matt just crazy jealous? “GO TEAM” all the players chant, walking onto field. the bleachers packed with people, friends, family & really anyone from the school even if they didn’t understand the game.
you catch matt & chris coming onto the field, as everyone cheers, so do you, waving to them. “hey there’s your bae” nick nudges your shoulder pointing to brayden. you smile, “i’ll be right back, i wanna wish chris & matt luck!” i say running onto field. “yeah right, you just wanna see brayden” nick snarks rolling his eyes.
matt sees you running up to them, a smile on his face. “hey guys, just wanted to say good luck, i know your gonna win” you tell them, a little out of breath from running. your eyes look around to the other teammates spotting brayden. “thank you” matt replies, he loved how you always supported them. “wish us luck my ass, you know if you wanna go talk to brayden, you can, i can see your eyes already wandering” chris remarks chuckling.
“wow i guess i can’t be a good friend anymore” you respond, pretending to be offended. chris rolls his eyes, matts a little annoyed he managed to even bring brayden up in this conversation . “but you know, i am gonna go say hi to him” you say smirking.
matt stared at you while you spoke to brayden, it annoyed him, how you both seemed so happy around each other. when he saw brayden arms so casually go over your shoulder, something in him snapped. but before he could react the coach blowed the starting buzzer.
you quickly ran back to the bleachers as they game began. the energy was incredible, the teams at a tight score every second. you thought the game was going well until a fight broke out, but it wasn’t a normal fight.
“yo matt you need to start making better passes dude, i almost fumbled that one” brayden called out. that was enough for matt. “maybe you need to learn how to fucking catch dude” he yelled back. “woah calm down, i didn’t mean it like that” brayden says a bit surpised. matt pushes him slightly, “don’t fucking tell me to calm down” he spits back. “alright, you need to get a grip, clearly” brayden says gently shoving him back. before matt could even process, or think before he acted, he pushed brayden to the ground. and that’s when the fight broke out.
after getting a clear view of the players, you recognize the numbers and last names on the back of the jersey. brayden and matt. it didn’t last long, chris was the first person to attempt breaking up the fight, right before the referee eventually separated them. the crowd was absolutely ballistic, fights happend all the time in these games but rarely 2 people on the same team.
you look at both of the boys, matt didn’t look too bad just a bloody nose, but brayden definitely had some sort of a black eye. you ran to the field, hoping for some sort of answers. before you could ask anyone what had happend, you felt a hand grab your wrist harshly. matt. he pulled you aside far enough, so no one could hear. “we need to talk.” he says.
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·:*¨༺ ♱ ੈ‧₊˚ ✮ ੈ‧₊˚ ♱ ༻¨*:·
𝜗𝜚 - ps. long ass chapter & shit went downn. 😭sorry for the cliff hangerrr btw 😋
𝜗𝜚 - tags : @ifwdominicfike @bells-sturn @sturnxies @iheartmattsbeard @chrislilcumslvt @mattsmiddlepartt @chrissv4mp @flouvela @chrisfavoritewhore @luckystarlogs @snowysosturn @x0x0bunny @anastasia-ac3rr3 @submattenthusiast @s7attr @jassturn @liasturniolo @mattslolita @muwapsturniolo @ilovedyoumiss @kirby0strombolli @milaatyourworst @ginswife @skibidijewishgirl @adoreechxmpion @lovesturni0l0s @bandanamatt @clairomatt @rorylovesmatt @pasteldreams @chris-hallelujah @y3sterdaysproblem @xoxo4chrisss @mattsd0ll @mattslverr @jetaimevous @clairomatt @maggot3647 @izzylovesmatt @kennastromboli @allineedismatt @delilahsturniolo @mattserenity @sturdyyolo
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godmadeaterribleerror · 2 days ago
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Chapter 2 - Sick and Full of Pride
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Mini-Series Masterlist
Tags: Dean Winchester/Female Reader, Sam Winchester/Reader (platonic), angst, fluff, mutual pining, smut, Dean's got the Mark of Cain, uh oh.
Summary/Warnings: You, Dean, and a sleeping Sam drive back to the bunker. Usual Warnings, plus light smut.
Author's Note: Dean driving does Things to me have a whole chapter with it.
Title from Drive by Halsey
Word Count: 5k
Read on A03!
Chapter 1 - Chapter 3
You’ve been in the car for almost eleven hours. The drive home was supposed to be eight, Dean is by no means going slow, and—as he’s told you many, many times—he doesn’t get lost, so you’re starting to suspect that you won’t be home any time soon.
As such, you’re now trying to find a reason to very casually and inconspicuously bring up that, if you’re looking at another three hours in the Impala, you’d appreciate it if you and Dean could make the team effort to kick Sam into the back so you can move to shotgun. You rarely get the opportunity—it arises exclusively when Sam wants to sprawl across the larger bench, you made Dean pie to get on his good side, or Dean and Sam are fighting, so Sam loses shotgun privileges—so you plan to take full advantage of this one.
Dean beats you to it. He’s been drumming on the wheel for about an hour in a beat you can’t find any real pattern to, he keeps shifting in his seat, and when he meets your eyes in the rearview mirror, there’s something that’s not quite stress—but close to it—on his face.
“Do you, uh, you wanna come up here?”
You blink, leaning forward between the seats to whisper in his ear. Don’t want to wake up Sam, and, really, any excuse to whisper with Dean is one you’ll take. “Yeah, but,” you glance at the sleeping lump of Sam. “What about Goliath?”
Dean shrugs. “He can sleep in the back. He’s lanky,” Dean says your name, shooting you a small grin, and you almost fall forward. “And I want you up here.”
“Oh.” You flush, but force yourself not to read into it. Sam’s asleep. Asleep people are worse company than awake people. “Okay.”
“You’ll talk to me, right? Up here?”
He sounds a little nervous, and your words fall out in a rush of reassurance. “Of course I’ll talk to you. I lo-” You catch yourself, and focus your attention on a dial on the dashboard as you continue. “I like talking to you. I’ll always talk to you.”
“So yeah?” Dean’s voice is casual, but he’s not looking at you anymore. He’s staring at the road—which he probably should’ve been doing the whole time—and his grip has become white-knuckled and tight on the wheel. “You’ll come up here?”
“If you can get Sam out, sure-“
Dean pulls off the side of the road, pushing his door open, and stomping around the hood of Baby. You’re a little dumbstruck, not entirely sure what’s happening, and a small rap of Dean’s knuckles on the window pull you back to your senses.
You push your door open, frowning up at him. “What-“
“Let’s go.” Dean’s hand moves to your arm, but he flinches back almost immediately, like you’ve burned him. Even in just the streetlights, you could swear he’s blushing. “C’mon, Sweetheart, need some backup.”
Once you’re out of the car, rubbing your arms and watching Dean and Sam exchange low words—Dean’s sounding urgent and Sam’s just sounding a little irritated—you try to look up and down the street for some clue of where you are. It’s mostly bushes, yellowing grass, and telephone poles—so literally anywhere in the Midwest—and this old dirt road isn’t really that different from any other dirt road, but it still feels familiar. Like you’ve been on it before. And the track marks on the upcoming path look suspiciously similar to the track marks behind Baby-
Sam stands up and shuffles to the backseat with a few grumbling sounds, and Dean holds the door open for you.
“M’lady.” He makes a wide, sweeping gesture to the seat, and you give him an amused, dry look as you walk up to his side, trying not to get high on how incredibly real his boyish, proud smile looks.
“You’re very cheesy sometimes, you know.”
“Yep.” He doesn’t seem bothered, and his eyes never leave yours as you climb into the seat. “Part of my charm.”
There isn’t a good answer for you to offer him that isn’t God, it really is, so you just make a half-hearted shrug and sink into yourself, letting Dean close the door and return to the wheel.
The first few minutes are silent, and the longer you look at the passing fields, the more you feel like you’ve seen them before.
“Hey, Dean?”
He hums, and you turn your head to see his gaze flicking between you and the road.
“Do you know how much longer we have left? Before we’re home?”
“Few hours.” He shrugs, and it’s a loose movement, which is a good sign. “Traffic’s a bitch.”
You glance out the windshield to the completely empty, dark street. “Traffic.”
“Yep.”
It’s not worth pushing him on. You’re fine here—you’re fine anywhere if you’re next to Dean—and Sam looks a little more comfortable, so if the drive ends up going until morning, you won’t care that much. You might become a little more worried about Dean, but you’ve gotten used to being worried about Dean. You’d rather the worry be about he might be losing his sense of direction, or developing short-term memory loss, because we’ve definitely taken this right before instead of he’s shattering glass and doesn’t seem to do anything but look sad and it’s going to make you cry.
“So, um,” you keep your eyes on the dial from before, because looking at Dean while you talk to him is never a good idea. “You’re still feeling okay?”
“I’m feeling great. Whatever hocus pocus shit Rowena did worked wonders, Sweetheart, I’m feeling amazing.”
You smile, and something that’s been tight around your heart for months loosens. “That’s really good, Dean. I know you didn’t want to try this, but-“
“Hey, it worked, didn’t it?” You see another loose shrug in your periphery, and your smile grows. “I gotta listen to you and Sam more, sometimes your ideas can actually be good.”
That makes you look up at him—primarily to glare—and it’s immediately a mistake. The shadows and ripples from the streetlight, cutting over his lips and jaw and cheekbones in the night, are making him look somehow more attractive, and you think it’s because of the joy. Dean’s grinning between you and the road, and there are no burdens pushing his shoulders down or weighted over his handsome features, and his whole face looks happy.
“Um,” you swallow, unable to tear your gaze away from Dean. “What’s the betterlust feel like? What does it want?”
Dean pauses, and he clears his throat in a deep, rough sound that is incredibly unproductive for actually focusing on his words.
“Feels like the bloodlust, I guess. I don’t, uh, it’s like a hunger.” Dean runs one hand carefully over the wheel, glancing at you with darkened eyes you can’t read, but want to watch you forever. “But for really specific things. And if it doesn’t get those things, I get…” He trails off, shaking his head slightly. “I feel like shit.”
“Like a craving?”
“Exactly like a craving.” Dean shoots you a grin that’s all pleased teeth, and you couldn’t look away from him if you tried. “Kinda like when we’re on a stakeout and suddenly you want a burrito, and if we don’t get you a burrito you start to get all mean and whiny.”
“I do not get mean or whiny-“
Dean chuckles, shaking his head. “You get very mean and whiny. I ain’t gonna forget when you threatened to castrate Sam because he brought you a salad.”
“And I won’t forget that you backed me up, Winchester. You offered to get my knife.”
“Because you were being mean and whiny, and I’m not looking to ever get castrated.” He gives a fake, overdramatic shutter. “The loss of Dean Jr. would hit many people very hard.”
You flush, whacking his arm. “Asshole, I was not going to castrate you-“
“You would.” He shoots you a wink. “But don’t worry about it. I appeased the monster, and everything’s intact and functional down there.”
It takes effort to roll your eyes, because you know he’s not even taunting you on purpose. Dean has no way to know that you’d never castrate him—you probably weren’t going to castrate Sam either, the point was more to put the fear of God in him for thinking salad was an acceptable alternative to burrito—because the monster he was teasing you about lived in your abdomen and only roared for him. It reared it’s head at the deep, rolling sound of Dean’s voice, grew warm and sensitive at every brush of a big, rough hand on your skin, and was fed by any sliver or scrap of attention he threw you. The only way to truly appease the monster was to let it out of where you’d trapped and desperately ignored it, and the only way to let it out was for Dean to look at you, and not stop.
But you’d learned to deal with that. As long as the monster was tended to, kept in line and from falling out of your mouth with a shout of Dean! I love you! Please look at me, because I really, really love you! You’d be fine.
“Fine.” You sigh. “I’ll give you mean, but I have never been whiny in my life-“
He gives you a flat look of amusement. “You’re a little whiny right now, Sweetheart.”
There’s no way for you to win this argument, Dean’s backed you into a corner you’re more than happy to be in—it means he’s smirking at you, unbelievably pleased with himself, and he’s drumming on the wheel again—so you just roll your eyes.
“Shut up.”
“Uh huh.”
You flip him off, he lets out a loud laugh, causing Sam to stir in the back seat.
“Dean,” you hiss, your hand shooting up to cover his mouth. “Quiet-“
He scoffs, pulling your hand down. “Sam’ll be fine, he’s slept through more than me laughing. Don’t know where the hell his hunter instincts go when he knocks out, but nothing short of a hurricane is gonna wake him up now.”
“I know that, I’m just,” you glance at your hand, back in your laps as still buzzing where your palm had covered Dean’s lips. “He’s been really tired.”
Dean’s grin drops slightly, eyes flicking between you and the road. “What about you.”
“What about me?”
“Are you tired?”
You pause, trying to get a read on your own body. Your eyelids do feel heavy, and your body does have that strained feeling of exhaustion between your muscles and bones, but you’ve been more tired. And moments like this—just you and Dean, talking without any worries or sadness or pain—are so rare, you don’t want to miss any of it.
“I guess. But-“
“Get some sleep,” Dean says your name in a stern voice, his attention fixed back onto the road. “We’ll be home soon.”
You blink at him, and realize he’s taking the first left turn in almost three hours. “I’m fine, Dean-“
“You and Sam have been working overtime for me,” he grunts, shooting you a firm look that’s not angry, but firm. “You both deserve some rest. I’ll get you up when we’re back.”
You’re going to argue—to push back and try to explain that you can sleep later, you’re not really that tired and you’d choose talking to Dean over almost anything—but he turns up the music and that’s it. You’re not moving him on this, and if he thinks you need rest, he won’t talk to you until he deems you’ve rested.
It’s insufferable, and annoying, and so fucking impossible to fight with how he won’t stop looking at you with concern, until you sigh, curl into your seat, and pretend to close your eyes.
You’ve gotten good at faking sleep around Dean. At keeping your eyes just open enough to watch him like, admittedly, a creep, and savoring the moments where he’s just himself. He’s not trying to perform the big hero and protector and fighter role for you and Sam that he’s so good at—despite what he seems to think—because you and Sam are both, allegedly, asleep.
Well, Sam’s definitely asleep. But you’re drifting, toeing the careful line between the hazy fantasies that run through your head on loop and the reality of Dean, right next to you and so damn pretty.
He’s always so pretty, and right now he’s alive. He’s purely Dean—entirely himself, which is and always has been more than enough—and it makes his every movement electric. Every dart of his tongue over his lips—pink and full and probably soft and well fit on your own—makes you salivate, and that makes you wish he’d run a broad, thick finger over your mouth, wiping away the slight drool.
He’s drumming on the wheel again, and it turns into some sort of rhythmic lullaby, moving you higher and higher until everything is Dean.
It’s his strong, firm arms wrapping around you and flexing as he moves the wheel, and pinning your hands above your head with big, calloused hands you could swear keep brushing over your cheeks. It’s those lips that drive you insane pressing small, soft kisses all over your body before moving to your lips and turning desperate and rough. Dean’s tongue down your throat and his nose suddenly bumping against your clit.
He’s moved, down, down, down your body—you can feel marks that never really formed but are still sensitive and blissful from Dean’s presence—and suddenly you’re so needy you might die from it. You can still see Dean—the actual Dean, his eyes locked on the road in reality but focusing only on you in your head—and you can’t focus on anything else. His hands gripping the wheel are suddenly holding and kneading at your hips, but still deep inside you, pumping in and out in the same rhythm of the song.
It’s mostly fantasy now. You can smell the leather and whiskey and amber of Dean, your Dean—not your Dean, not your anything unless it’s here, in your half-dreams—and hear his humming, feel the heat radiating off his body. And it’s all feeding into each other, and now you’ll never come down. It will just keep being Dean’s hands on you—tossing you around like a ragdoll but touching your skin in a way that’s painfully careful—and body caging yours in. His full lips sucking and nipping at your neck and breasts and inner thighs, his tongue flicking at your nipples and clit and running over your teeth. Dean hold you down, up, under him or above him or against him, touching you however he wants because God, you’re not needy and desperate by any means but it would feel so good for him to use you. To be the cause of his post-sex swagger walk—as you and Sam have deemed it—or receive one of those cocky winks over breakfast. To hear him praise you, or praise him, or do anything he asks because he always does most anything for you.
Except this. This one thing—playing with you until you’re screaming his name and seeing stars—is the only thing Dean hasn’t done for you. Won’t do for you. You’ll never ask of it, you won’t be able to handle it when he says no aloud in a deep, gruff apology, and so you’ll just live here. In fantasy, where Dean’s attention is fixed on you and never strays. Because in this fake world, it’s only you and Dean, and you could like that forever.
And, right before sleep pulls you under, you could swear that Dean’s eyes on your are deep and blown-out with hunger, and realer than anything else in the world.
——————
Dean was starting to get the hang of this. It was surprisingly easy to do most of what the betterlust demanded, because they were things Dean already did all the damn time. Driving was an obvious one that he’d latched onto almost immediately—something in Dean’s brain had always felt a little easier to live with when he drove, and his hands never felt dirty when he was holding Baby’s wheel—and was easy to feed. Dean had to drive, because that’s how they got around. She and Sam knew him well enough to not try and ask and drive themselves, and it was part of Dean’s job to drive them between cases and the bunker, so satisfying the betterlust had pretty much been handed to him as a quick, easy fix.
But the trick seemed to be not feeding it too much. Taking just enough to satiate the betterlust into something that didn’t make him feel sick and hot, but keeping it from going overboard, because it was really fucking easy to go overboard. To get in the car and know that the drive could be short, but Sam had knocked himself out and She probably wouldn’t be far behind, so if Dean missed two or three turns or drove in an overly complex circle for two hours, nobody would stop him. They were only an hour from the bunker, nobody seemed to be upset by the additional time in Baby, and driving sent Dean’s head into some sort of humming, blissful joy he’d never felt in his damn life. It was like the quiet ease of driving had been duplicated, amplified, then shot right into his blood.
And two or three turns turned into nine or ten, and two hours became four. And She didn’t fall asleep, and the betterlust started to get hungry again. He couldn’t stop glancing in the rearview mirror at Her drop-dead gorgeous face that couldn’t be his, and wanting her. Wanting Her to say one word to him, or smile at him, or sit just a little closer so he could offer the betterlust something. Anything that wasn’t this starving, tortuous, ugly need for Her. Closer closer closer, never close enough and She needs to be closer so Dean doesn’t rip off his own skin from how it’s boiling or pull out his tongue because it’s starting to cave in with words he’s not allowed to say.
Dean didn’t trust himself to talk to Her, but the longer she was awake, within his reach, and invading his head with Her everything, the closer he felt going batshit insane. He had to keep himself in fucking check, and figure out what he could be allowed to do with this.
He could not be allowed to touch Her. Touching Her was dangerous. Touching Her made this high feel like he’d died in the best way possible. Touching Her was like all the simple easy of driving and the sweet taste of pie and humming strength of a good drum line in a song that pounded in Dean’s chest were rolled into one thing that was soft and warm and just real good. The betterlust fall entirely silent just when his hand brushed against Her’s, then became loud and feral when the contact was taken away. Touching Her was so good that it made everything else became pointless. Touching Her was the best, so Dean could not be allowed to touch Her because then he’d never stop.
And this wasn’t dangerous. It was just driving, and everyone knew Dean loved driving, and Dean felt like he could walk away from this. That, when they parked and She and Sam shuffled back inside, Dean was strong enough to ignore the hungry voice in his head and itch in his hands to just start driving again. Just like how he’d eat a cheeseburger, but he didn’t always need to eat a cheeseburger. He’d eat pie, and then walk away. Dean could control this. The betterlust was easy to feed, and better to feed—She’d really nailed it on the head with that—and nobody got hurt.
As long as Dean kept himself under control, nobody got hurt.
So Dean could talk to Her. Be near Her with the knowledge that, if he let his gaze linger on Her peaceful, sleeping face for too long, he’d be more of a goner than he already was and never be able to look away. It was safe to do in the car, where he could pull his attention away because of safety and immediately offer the betterlust some more driving the fill the loss of Her. Dean could keep driving, and look at Her in moderation, and nobody would have to freak out about certain people being in love with certain other people, or an annoying, third person who was a massive lump in Baby’s back seat getting a smug I told you so face.
Sam was wrong, though. There wouldn’t be anything to be smug about with Her and Dean, because Sam was wrong. As they neared the bunker—for real this time—it was just Dean, the rumble of the engine, and the music, Dean fell further into his head. Usually the music could drown his thoughts out, but the betterlust was so determined to have Her that he needed to grab it and shout that having Her wasn’t a fucking option. Dean could offer the betterlust whatever it wanted, except Her. He tried to reason with it—She’s too good, Dean isn’t close to good enough, and She doesn’t want him so he can’t lose her over something dumb like feelings—but it didn’t seem interested in Dean’s flawless, rational logic. The betterlust just wanted Her in every way possible, and Dean couldn’t get Her, and this might be worse than the bloodlust. This was unfixable, and Dean wanted it just as much as the betterlust, and his chest was going to cave in on itself and take his heart down into his stomach, pressing it to tiny pieces and pushing it out so everyone could see how little control Dean had over his own goddamn body.
He’d have to get through this. They were only ten minutes from the bunker, and he’d work out how to see Her in moderation, and She wouldn’t get uncomfortable from how much of a sick, twisted, perverted son of a bitch he was, and he’d have Her as he was allowed to and never lose Her. He’d do every other thing that fed the betterlust, and nobody had to get hurt. The whole point of this was to stop the hurt, so Dean would get a fucking grip and live with what She and Sam had worked so hard to get him.
Then She started moaning. Dean thought it was just a noise of discomfort at first—he even slowed down so he didn’t disturb Her—but then she did it again, and it was breathless and needy and he was going to die. He could feel his face turn red, feel how his jeans were suddenly painful to wear and all the blood in his body was focused and throbbing where Dean needed Her, and all his plans of keep Her close but still at a manageable distance went out the window. Her lips were parted as Her breathing became heavy, She was squirming slightly in the seat under the touch of whatever the hell was doing that to her in her dreams, and Dean might have be forced to jump out of the car if he wasn’t already pulling into the bunker.
There was a long moment—right after he turned off the engine—where the only sounds were Sam’s snoring and Her moaning, and Dean wondered if this was hell. If Rowena had actually just killed him in that kiddie pool, and he was being tortured with Her looking and sounding and being like something he wanted to eat but was just out of his reach, all while his little brother slept in the back seat.
Dean adjusted himself in his seat—hiding his boner from Her view and blocking Her from Sam’s—and cleared his throat as loud as he possibly could.
Her eyes blinked open—hazy and blown out from either sleep or Her dream—and even Her adorable, sleepy yawn made Dean twitch in his pants.
“Hey,” She rolled a little onto her side, pushing herself upright, and Her voice sounded airy and soft and Dean could not look Her in the eyes. “Are we home?”
Dean grunted, nodding, and he had to get out of here. If he didn’t, he’d either kiss Her or explode. “Just parked,” he muttered, clenching his fists on Baby’s wheel in a slow pattern that usually calmed him down, but right now was doing jack shit. “Gonna go get some food.”
She hummed, leaning forward into Dean’s periphery with an expression he recognized as Her Dean, please be okay one. She was trying to kill him.
“Are you-“
“I’m fine. Hungry.” That wasn’t a lie. Dean was starving, just for something that wasn’t exactly food. It was right at his side, and probably wet and bitter in a way that would be so fucking good, and moan and whimper like a song, would shiver at his touch and grind on his hands and face and cock and-
He had to get out of here.
“Got pie in the freezer,” Dean said, pushing Baby’s door open in the way that he always yelled at Sam about. Too rough and reckless, practically punching her open, and he didn’t have the time to chastise himself or apologize to his car, because he had to go. “Wake up Sam for me.”
“Dean-“
“I said I’m good.”
“I know, but can you, can you please just look at me-“
Dean’s head turned of its own will, and it was the biggest mistake of his life. Her face was still slightly flushed, and she looked so nervous and worried, and her eyes were scanning over his face the same way they did in his dreams. Where he’d be covered in blood, and She’d look him over with care that never seemed to waver with doubt, and guide him into the shower. Strip them both, pull Dean under clear, steaming water and kiss him as all the blood was washed away. He’d be allowed to roll Her nipples between his fingers, and shove his knee between her thighs, and kiss Her until she said his name-
“Dean-“
He had to shake his head, force the spell of Her out of his vision and head and blood, and grab the betterlust by the throat to stop it from grabbing Her face and pulling it to his. She wouldn’t want that, and She shouldn’t do things she didn’t want to do, and Dean couldn’t be near Her like this. He still couldn’t control himself, and all of this had been a mistake because he could hurt something bad and sit in the guilt and hatred but still have Her, but now he couldn’t have Her at all.
He wasn’t even sure what his excuse was, but within the next ten seconds he was half running out of the garage, into the bunker, and locking himself in his room like some sort of feral animal. A beast that had to lock itself away from the people he loved, because they didn’t deserve him and he couldn’t force them to do more for him, and couldn’t stand to ask for what he wanted and be denied.
But he could get control back. He could find the smaller things that the betterlust wanted and keep feeding them. Drive and eat and maybe watching some fucking TV. Listen to music until he went deaf and work on Baby and stay the hell away from Her. She was dangerous to him. Not Her herself—She was awesome and cool and hot and Dean wanted Her on his face or lap or under his body, which was the problem—but the way the betterlust seemed to tunnel vision onto Her. The way Dean would just look at Her and his whole body would start to ache and boil and twist until he was talking to Her. And the more he spoke to Her the more he needed to touch her, and a little more control would slip, and eventually he’d just be unable to leave her side.
The distance was going to hurt Dean more than Her anyway. He’d figure out how to control this and immediately seek Her out when he did—She probably wouldn’t even notice he was avoiding Her—but until then he had to stay away. He’d agreed to this for things to be easier, not for himself, but for Her and Sam.
Staying away from Her would be easier for everyone. No complicated, emotional, chick flick conversations. No rejection. No showing Her that he wasn’t the strong, immovable man she was friends with and being tossed out onto the curb. Dean didn’t ever want to lose Her, this would make Her walk away—She wouldn’t want him, because she’d seen every single part of him and nobody would want them all—so Dean had to keep himself under control.
And it would be fine. Dean had control now, and he could feed the betterlust with so many other things, so this would be easy.
End Note: Answer to the last note - I am incapable of writing a short and sweet chapter, I had to make the whole mini-series an extra chapter, send help.
If you like this story, please reblog, share, or leave a comment! <3
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rootspiral · 21 hours ago
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Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 5 part 5
(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])
(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5])
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jen just shakes her head, bitter and not in the least surprised at what agatha did
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meanwhile agatha is... she's just devastated
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billy is the only person in the room who has never experienced and still doesn't comprehend the finality of death
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agatha runs, she can't do anything else. rio is the only one that cares.
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she looks so pathetic in that getup. her behaving like a little girl is not so funny anymore, is it?
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as always, rio watches her. she has a lot to think about after this trial.
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but alice needs her undivided attention now. lady death has to clock in.
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I'm glad that we keep focusing on agatha's reaction. she used to be able to kill people and shake it off (or at least pretend to). she cannot shake alice off
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and it was all for a tiny spark of magic. that is all that's left of alice on the mortal plane
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when billy confronts her she visibly recoils and shrinks in on herself, like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar
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one hand on her own heart, one on billy's heart. like she's begging and willing him to understand
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it's not: you lied. it's you lied to me. it's personal. it's the trust he had in a mentor and mother figure, irrevocably broken
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agatha never lies to billy. she's shitty with him in many other ways, but she doesn't lie
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billy, honey. you set out on a road trip with a literal serial killer.
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agatha had this mad fantasy of billy and her becoming a family, a coven two. and of course she went and ruined it. she always does
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jen has all her walls firmly up, she won't allow herself to grieve for alice. she's still on the verge of walking a dark path, and agatha is the one pushing and pushing her toward it
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lilia, who has lost and grieved so many, is just numb with pain. Death is unstoppable. hey guys, remember the first three episodes? when everything seemed so fun and carefree?
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to billy witches were spellbooks and broomsticks and hot topic eyeliner. how do you explain to a kid the ugliness and violence and trauma that will inevitably fester in a marginalized, repressed community?
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from the mouth of a child. she might have killed alice by accident. she has been deliberately and systematically killing many more to serve her own agenda.
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and what agatha does, when confronted with ugly truths? she runs, and if she can't run, she goes all in with the spectacle and the cruelty
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she could have picked any moment to talk about wanda. she could have broken the news gently, eased billy into understanding what he's been doing. now she's just lashing out in anger and fear and pain. billy did just put her through hell, but she's still the only adult of the two, no matter how immature she wishes to act
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when push comes to shove, when it all becomes too much, agatha will latch to her self-preservation instincts and choose to protect herself over anyone else, even the people she loves. She's doing it with billy, she's doing it with rio. I'd argue that she did it with nicky, too.
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hey, hey agatha, remember what happened the last time you poked a chaos witch with a stick? you dumb idiot.
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fucking around meets finding out etc etc etc etc
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boy is she SCREAMING. this bitch will never go down quietly, she'll snivel and cry like the sad pathetic creature she is
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and the parallels and the irony of billy hurting jen and lilia in his grief.
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do you guys laugh too when bille ellish pops in?? I love how agatha later says that billy is dramatic because he's a maximoff. honey, wanda was only ever coming up with cute sitcom scenarios. this is all your doing, you and your dramatic ass. this is your son. drama queen and drama queen in training.
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redroomreflections · 16 hours ago
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Meet The Family
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Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader (Black Reader)
The Loud House Universe
Summary: Natasha meets R's family for the first time
W/c: 7k
"Babe, I have no idea what you are so nervous about." You shook your head. You grabbed onto your luggage as you deboarded the plane. "They're going to love you."
"I don't doubt that," Natasha said as she slipped the sunglasses onto her face. It's not like it's her first time flying economy before. She insisted that the two of you act as normal as a couple. That's what she craved. Normalcy. Someone not into the lights and cameras and the novelty of her being a hero. That is why she was excited to do the typical thing of meeting your family.
"Sure doesn’t seem like it,” you teased, nudging her lightly with your elbow as the two of you made your way through the terminal. Natasha’s calm exterior might fool anyone else, but you caught the subtle way she fiddled with the strap of her carry-on, her usual poise betraying just a hint of unease.
“I’m just... being cautious,” Natasha replied with a smirk, though you could hear the sincerity in her tone. “Your family is important to you. That means they’re important to me.”
Her words warmed your heart even as you rolled your eyes playfully. “That’s sweet, but they’re just regular people, babe. You're not meeting the president. Just eat good food, laugh at my mom's jokes, and pretend we haven't had premarital sex. Which is interesting of a hill to die on for my mom, but..."
Natasha let out a laugh. "I think I can handle that."
"And don't feel intimidated if they ask you many questions about your job," you continued. "I already warned them about keeping the interrogation to a minimum, but my family is the worst when it comes to asking about every little detail."
Natasha stopped, turning towards you with a serious expression. "I am more than prepared for an interrogation. That's my job description."
The two of you continued walking to baggage claim, keeping up with the traffic flow as you talked.
“Okay,” she said suddenly, tilting her head toward you. “Anything I should know before we get there? Any family secrets or rules I should avoid breaking?”
You snorted. “Well, for starters, don’t say you don’t eat pork. My mom might take that as a personal attack on her cooking.”
Natasha raised an eyebrow. “Good to know. What else?”
“Let’s see,” you mused, counting off on your fingers. “Peyton’s going to act like she runs the world because she’s the oldest, Quincy will probably crack a million dad jokes, and Brandon’s baby's mother… well, don’t take it personally if she doesn’t say much. She’s not big on conversation.”
"She's 17, right?" Natasha asked, her eyes widening as you walked through the airport.
"They both are," You nodded. "Everything I've told you about my family before, believe it."
"That's a lot of people," Natasha smiled softly. She'd always been more comfortable being around small groups. The bigger the group, the more uncomfortable she was.
"Yeah," You grinned. "My parents were great at making babies. There's four of us."
"Hmm," Natasha nodded. "Let me guess that's your brother over there with the sign." She gestured with a raise of her chin to the teenaged boy with a toddler in one arm and a sign that read "Welcome back from the Convent."
You burst out laughing as soon as you spotted the sign. "Of course he did," you muttered, shaking your head in disbelief. Natasha chuckled beside you, the corner of her mouth quirking up in amusement.
"That's Brandon for you," you confirmed as you adjusted your bag and walked toward him. "Always a comedian."
Brandon caught sight of you as you approached and broke into a grin. "Hey, sis!" he called out, holding the baby with one arm while waving enthusiastically with the other. The baby, a chubby-cheeked little girl with curly hair, looked unimpressed but content in his hold.
"Really, Brandon?" you said, gesturing to the sign as Natasha raised an eyebrow. "A convent? That’s what you went with?"
"What? It’s funny," he replied, shrugging with a smirk. "Gotta keep you humble."
You rolled your eyes, stepping forward to hug him while Natasha stood back, observing the interaction with quiet interest. "And what about me screams ‘convent,’ exactly?"
"Law school, late nights studying, no time for fun—sounds like a convent to me," Brandon teased before shifting his attention to Natasha. "So, this must be the famous Natasha. Welcome to the family."
"Oh, we're not..." Natasha's cheeks turned a soft shade of pink as she looked at you. "We're not married or anything."
"Yet," He finished with a smile, reaching out to shake her hand. "The way she talks about you, I'd have thought you had already put a ring on it."
"Brandon, stop," You groaned, your cheeks reddening. Natasha looked at you curiously, a hint of a smile playing at the corners of her lips.
"What? It's true. I mean, the whole family's heard all about your girl—"
"Give me my niece. She's getting fussy," You interrupted before he could embarrass you. You and Natasha had been dating for almost a year and a half. She knows practically everything there is to know. But hearing your family's opinion of her made you nervous.
"Fine," Brandon sighed. "You'll have to catch up on all the drama once we're in the car anyway. It's crazy at home."
"Oh? Why's that?" You asked, reaching out to take the toddler in your arms.
"I'll take the bags," He offered to Natasha. He didn't find offense when she declined. He simply kept the conversation going.
"Mom's pissed about Tori," He said, referring to his current girlfriend. "Her parents still won't let her move back home. Also, Peyton and Ross are having some issues. You didn't hear it from me, though. Oh- I parked over here."
He led the three of you to the car, where he opened the trunk and tossed all of your bags in there.
"Hey, that's Gucci," You warned him. "That bag has my laptop."
"Yeah, yeah. I'll be careful." He waved you off. "Can you buckle her in?" He asked.
Buckling Willow into her car seat was a feat. It was a new experience that you were excited to have, but she was a wiggler. You were glad to be an aunt and help her dad. You knew Natasha was watching the interaction with interest. Once everyone was seated, Brandon backed the car onto the road and out of the airport parking lot. You were terrified of his driving.
"Mom, let you drive the car," You thought aloud. "That's a first. Peyton and I had to beg her to let us drive practically."
"Well, I'm the baby. I get special privileges," He bragged. "Miss Natasha, you're quiet back there."
"She's fine," You defended her.
"I'm just listening," She replied.
Brandon glanced at Natasha through the rearview mirror as he navigated the freeway. His curiosity was written on his face, and you braced yourself for whatever line of questioning he was about to launch into.
“So,” he started one hand on the wheel and the other drumming lightly on the console. “What’s it like being an Avenger? Do y’all just fight aliens and save the world all day, or is it mostly paperwork?”
Natasha chuckled softly, the sound surprising you a little. She leaned forward just enough to meet Brandon’s gaze in the mirror. “A lot less glamorous than you’d think. Fighting aliens happens occasionally, but it’s mostly meetings, training, and arguing over whose turn it is to clean the kitchen.”
"Wait, you mean to tell me y'all don't have maids or a team to do that stuff?"
"Not for personal stuff, no," Natasha explained.
"And I'm gonna assume there are no benefits, insurance, or anything like that."
"It's government-funded," Natasha said. "So there's plenty of benefits and health insurance."
"Do you get to fly around in a spaceship, or is that reserved for Captain America and Iron Man?"
"There's a jet," Natasha replied.
"Brandon, can we not?" You asked.
"Oh, come on," he protested. "You didn't warn her about the third degree? Besides, it's not like you've seen any action."
"Not directly," You corrected. "But I've watched the news."
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to pry. I just want to make sure you're safe. The rest of the fam is going to want to know."
"That's understandable," Natasha said.
"So, what are the chances I'll get a ride in one of those Avengers planes?" He joked.
"Brandon!" You groaned.
"What? Can't blame a guy for dreaming," he laughed. "Okay, I have a real question—do you guys like to hang out? Play cards? Do movie nights? Or is it all business?”
“Depends on the day,” Natasha answered, her voice relaxed. “We’ve had our share of poker nights, but Thor’s terrible at bluffing, and Clint’s too good. Movie nights are better unless someone picks Star Wars. That always ends in arguments about the ‘proper’ order to watch them in.”
“Man, I wish I could’ve been a fly on the wall for some of that,” Brandon said, shaking his head. “You ever bring her to the tower?” he asked, jerking his thumb in your direction.
“A few times,” Natasha said, glancing at you with a small smile. “We mostly hang out at her apartment with Karen. She keeps saying she doesn’t want to ‘cramp my style.’”
“Excuse me for wanting to keep a low profile,” you said, feigning indignation. “Unlike you, Brandon, I’m not trying to be best friends with everyone.”
Brandon shot you a look of mock outrage, pressing one hand against his chest.
"You wound me, sister. Truly."
"I'll do worse than that if you don't focus on the road," You warned him.
"Fine, fine." He raised his hands in surrender.
It would be long if the rest of the day would be like Brandon's questioning.
**********
As Brandon hoisted Willow out of her car seat, she babbled happily, grabbing his hair as he balanced her on his hip. “Alright, ladies, this is where I leave you to fend for yourselves,” he said with a teasing grin, holding open the front door with his foot.
“We can manage,” you shot back with a smirk, lugging your bags from the trunk.
“You sure? I can carry the fancy bag,” Brandon said, eyeing your Gucci luggage again.
“Get inside, Brandon,” you said firmly, laughing despite yourself.
Brandon shrugged and disappeared into the house with Willow, leaving you and Natasha standing by the car.
You turned to Natasha, who was sliding her sunglasses off and tucking them into the neckline of her sweater. “Hey,” you said softly, touching her arm. “You good? I know my family can be  a lot.”
"Baby, I'm fine," Natasha said. "Trust me. This is what I do."
"I can't pretend I don't love it when you call me baby." You sighed.
"Well, then maybe I should use it more often," She said. "Also, relax. It's Thanksgiving."
"You're right," You said. "But still, if it gets overwhelming, just let me know."
Natasha nodded, and the two of you headed into the house. As soon as the door opened, the sounds and smells of Thanksgiving Day swarmed around you. Loud, chattering voices, the clatter of dishes, and the mouthwatering scent of roasting turkey filled the house, and you took a moment to close your eyes and soak it in.
"Is that my daughter, I hear?" Your mother's voice rang out from the kitchen.
"Yes, Mama, it's me." You called back. You kicked your shoes off and placed them neatly inside the coat closet. Natasha followed suit.
"Are you the famous girlfriend we've heard so much about?" Your mom asked.
"Yes, ma'am. My name is Natasha."
"Come here, girl, and hug me," your mom ordered, appearing from the kitchen and wiping her hands on a dish towel. "My name's Vivian. It's nice to meet you finally."
Natasha initially hugged Vivian, a bit hesitant, but the older woman’s firm and affectionate embrace quickly put her at ease. “It’s so nice to meet you, ma’am,” Natasha said, stepping back with a warm smile. “You have an incredible daughter. I’ve been hearing nothing but great things about you.”
Vivian chuckled, her sharp eyes twinkling as she gave Natasha a once-over. “Well, flattery will get you everywhere,” she teased. “But please, don’t call me ma’am. It makes me feel old. Vivian or Mama Viv will do just fine.”
“Mama Viv, then,” Natasha said with a slight nod, her voice smooth and respectful.
“Good. Now tell me, Natasha,” Vivian said, crossing her arms and leaning against the doorframe, “what exactly are your intentions with my baby?”
Your eyes widened as you fumbled for words. “Mama!”
Natasha didn’t miss a beat, though. She clasped her hands together, her expression sincere. “To love her, respect her, and make her proud, ma’am—uh, Mama Viv. And to eat as much of your cooking as you’ll let me,” she added with a playful smirk.
Vivian broke into a laugh, shaking her head. “Oh, she’s good,” she said, glancing at you. “I see why you like her. Alright, Natasha, you’re off to a good start. Come help me in the kitchen, and we’ll see if you can hold your own in there.”
Natasha glanced at you for confirmation, and you gave her a subtle nod. She followed Vivian into the kitchen without hesitation. You followed behind, though, at a slower pace. The next few moments were crucial for first impressions.
"I'll warn you, I'm not a great cook," She said.
"That's alright," Vivian said. "I'll put you to work peeling potatoes or something. Wanna see if you'll pull your weight around here."
You smiled, hearing them chat back and forth. It was a good sign. You were sure your mom would find something Natasha could do.
"You made it," Quincy's voice boomed from behind you. He didn't give you time to react before he pulled you into a bear hug. "And you brought Natasha."
"Of course," You laughed.
"Good." He nodded. "I was worried you were going to bail on us. You never come home anymore."
"Don't start, Quincy," You rolled your eyes. "I was home last Thanksgiving."
"Yeah, after not coming home for a whole year," He said. "Introduce me to your girlfriend." He grinned. He was starstruck.
"She's helping Mom cook," You informed him. You both walked into the kitchen and saw Natasha shaking hands with your sister, Peyton. Brandon was at the counter feeding a few strawberries to Willow as his girlfriend Tori sat beside him on her phone. She seemed completely unaware of the world around her.
"So, you're an Avenger," Peyton said, her tone a little skeptical. "I must admit we didn't believe y/n when she said she was dating you."
"Oh really," Natasha said, quirking an eyebrow. "Is that so?"
"Well, it's not every day a girl claims she's dating the Black Widow," Peyton pointed out.
"Yeah, but y/n isn't exactly the type to make shit up," Quincy interrupted.
"Language, boy," Vivian warned from her place at the stove.
Natasha chuckled, her eyes flickering to Peyton and then to Vivian, who had her back turned to the stove. "Don’t worry, I’ve heard worse," she said, giving Quincy a playful wink.
"See?" Quincy smirked, raising an eyebrow. "Told ya."
Vivian turned from the stove, placing a wooden spoon on the counter. "Alright, enough with the show, everyone. Peyton, get the table set. Quincy, stop trying to embarrass your sister. And you," she pointed at Natasha, "come help me with this cornbread."
Natasha nodded and stepped over to Vivian, who seemed confident in her kitchen. "What can I do?" Natasha asked, her hands instinctively moving to help without waiting for an answer.
"First things first," Vivian said, pushing a bowl of ingredients toward her, "you’re going to stir this batter, but carefully. I like a nice smooth texture for the cornbread."
Natasha rolled up her sleeves, already comfortable in the space. "I’ve got it. I’ll make it the best cornbread you’ve ever had."
Vivian, clearly pleased, gave her a once-over before speaking again. "You’re making good impressions so far, Natasha. Y/n deserves someone who knows their way around the kitchen." She eyed Natasha for a moment, her smile warm. "You do all your cooking, or is someone else handling that?"
"I do a bit of both," Natasha replied, gently mixing the batter. "But I’m always down for new recipes, especially if they come from someone who knows what they’re doing. I'm not a great cook but a fast learner."
"Well, we'll see how you do here," Vivian said.
"I guess I'll start on the pies," You rolled up your sleeves to wash your hands. A perk of flying in on Thanksgiving day was being late to the party. It was a last-minute decision to come home.
"You better be making a chocolate one," Peyton warned.
"Peyton, hush." Vivian shushed her.
"I can't wait to try it," Brandon said, his attention still on his daughter.
"I think the last thing that kid needs is sugar," Peyton teased, poking the little girl's belly. She squealed, kicking her chubby little legs.
"The sugar is the best part," Brandon retorted, kissing his daughter.
"She's getting big," You observed. "Is she talking yet?"
"No," Brandon said. "Not yet. She'll get there eventually. I can't believe she's a year old. Feels like just yesterday she was born."
"Yeah," You nodded. "Hi, Tori." You said to Brandon's girlfriend.
"Hi," She had the decency to look up from her phone.
You sat at the kitchen table, a soft smile tugging at your lips as you glanced at Tori. Finding someone like her who kept to themselves was rare, but you knew it was essential to show interest. "So, Tori, how's school and everything? I mean, besides, you know, trying to avoid getting caught in the middle of this chaotic family," you teased lightly, gesturing around the room.
Tori blinked, clearly surprised by the question, but then she seemed to soften, a hint of relief in her eyes. "Well, school is fine. I've been attending every day. I want to be a nurse," she said, her voice quieter than usual but more animated than you'd seen before. "I’ve always liked the idea of helping people, you know? I’ve been thinking about moving to Louisiana after high school to study. My aunt lives there, and she’s been telling me to come stay with her while I figure things out."
"That’s awesome," you said, genuinely interested. "Is it something you’ve wanted to do for a while?"
"Yeah," she nodded, looking down at her hands briefly. "I’ve always kind of gravitated toward taking care of people. And... I don’t know. Louisiana feels like a place where I could start fresh, away from all the stuff back here." She paused, her eyes flicking briefly to Brandon, who was still sitting with Willow. "I just... I think I could do more there. Maybe even learn some things to help me get my life on track."
You nodded thoughtfully, respecting her quiet resolve. "I think you’ll do great."
Brandon, listening in from across the room, chimed in with a knowing smile. "Yeah, we're still figuring it all out. Tori's been thinking about it, but we're also trying to figure out how to ensure Willow stays close to family." His expression softened as he glanced at his daughter. "I’m not sure how I feel about taking her away from everyone... but Tori’s excited, and it’s a big opportunity for her."
Tori shot Brandon a small, appreciative smile, though she didn’t say anything.
You could tell there was a lot of unspoken tension around it. You nodded in understanding. "It's a big decision. But I know Willow’s lucky to have you both looking out for her."
"That's so sweet," Tori said.
"I only have to put the collard greens on," Vivian began. "Natasha, do you eat pork?"
"Yes," Natasha answered.
"Good," Vivian nodded.
"What else can I do, Mama Viv?" Natasha asked.
"You're gonna make the biscuits," Vivian ordered.
"Yes, ma'am." Natasha nodded.
Things were going well. Your mom putting Natasha to work meant she was interested in her, which was a plus in your book.
As Natasha busied herself with biscuit-making under Vivian’s watchful eye, Peyton followed you into one of the bedrooms upstairs. You knew by her closeness she was about to say something. Peyton rarely held back when it came to her opinions.
“So,” she began, her tone casual but pointed, “is this thing with Natasha serious? Or is she just another quest, like Melinda?”
You paused, barely glancing at her, placing your bags in the closet. Peyton had always had a knack for finding the most loaded questions to ask, and this was no exception. You took a breath, willing yourself to stay composed.
“First of all,” you said calmly, “Natasha is not a ‘thing.’ She’s my girlfriend, Peyton. And yeah, we’re serious. Also, Melinda wasn't a quest. We were in a relationship for two years."
Peyton shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “I’m just saying. You’ve always had a type, you know? Strong, intense, probably a little emotionally unavailable,” she added with a smirk. “And we all know how that turned out last time.”
You shot her a warning look. “Wow, Peyton. Thank you so much for your insight into my love life. Maybe next time, you can try delivering it without the shade.”
“What? I’m just asking the questions everyone else is thinking,” she said, raising her hands defensively. “I mean, you’ve got a history. Don’t you think it’s fair to wonder how long this one will last?”
"Are you going to start? Dinner is less than three hours away," You sighed. "I came to be with family. You didn't even hug me when I came in the door."
"Because you've been here ten minutes," Peyton argued. "Look, I'm not trying to start anything, y/n. I'm just curious. It's not like we see or talk to you very much."
"Well, I've been busy," You retorted.
"You could've called more," Peyton insisted. "The girls miss you."
"I'm sorry," You shook your head. "Law school has been intense."
Peyton’s eyes flicked to the Gucci bag you’d set neatly by the door, her expression shifting into something slightly amused but undeniably pointed. “That’s a nice bag you’ve got there,” she remarked, her tone light but laced with something else. “Designer, right?”
You bristled, sensing where this was going. “Yeah, it’s a gift,” you replied curtly, refusing to elaborate. You’d learned that giving Peyton more information was like throwing fuel on a fire.
“Must be nice,” she said, her voice slightly more severe. “Meanwhile, Mom’s been stressing over the laundromat. She doesn’t say it outright, but I know things have been tight lately.”
You froze, your jaw tightening. “Peyton—”
“She’s paying your tuition,” Peyton continued, folding her arms. “So, I just think, you know, maybe she deserves to know if you’re spending money on fancy bags.”
“It’s a gift,” you repeated, your voice sharper now. “And last I checked, my education was something Mom was proud to support, not some burden she needed you to fight about.”
Peyton shrugged, unfazed by your defensiveness. “I’m not saying it’s a burden. I’m just saying she’s doing a lot. And maybe you could... I don’t know; check in a little more. Be more aware of what’s going on back home.”
“Wow, Peyton. Thanks for the lecture,” you shot back. “I had no idea you were Mom’s financial advisor now.”
“I’m just saying,” Peyton countered. “You’re out there living your life, and we’re holding things down. It wouldn’t hurt to pick up the phone or swing by more often. The girls miss you, Mom misses you, and whether you want to hear it or not, things aren’t easy around here.”
You exhaled sharply, crossing your arms. “Look, I get it, okay? I know I’ve been caught up with school and everything else. But you don’t need to guilt-trip me about it. I’m doing the best I can.”
Peyton’s face softened, if only slightly. “I’m not trying to guilt-trip you, y/n. I just... I worry about Mama, and I worry about you too. You’ve got this shiny new life now, and it’s great, but don’t forget where you came from. That’s all I’m saying.”
You shook your head, annoyance and regret swirling in your gut. Part of you wanted to defend yourself, but another part felt like it was too little, too late. Instead, you breathed and tried to let the frustration melt away. Paying your tuition was something your mother did for each of her children. Quincy had gone to get his mechanical engineering degree and became a product engineer. You're still determining exactly what he does, but he earns an excellent salary. Peyton had gone to college and ultimately dropped out after becoming pregnant with the twins in her junior year. Now it was your turn.
You felt that despite how much your mom wanted you to attend law school, the money was tighter than she'd initially let on. It wasn't that she was stingy. Your mom was the most generous person you knew. But she had her pride. You knew you had to pay her back one day.
"Okay, okay," You said, rubbing your temples. "I've been working a lot. I can take out loans if I have to. Just let me talk to Mom. See what she says."
Peyton didn't look entirely convinced. "If you say so."
"Look, it's been a long trip, and I wanted to see everyone and have a good time," You explained. "Are you going to treat me like this the whole time?"
"No," Peyton rolled her eyes. "We can pretend we're normal and get along for one day."
"Good," You said. "Now, can we please just go hang out with everyone? I didn't come from New York to spend the holiday with you lecturing me."
"I love you, little sister," Peyton said as you began to walk past her. "I apologize for coming across that way."
"I know, Peyton," You sighed.
The two of you walked back downstairs, and you returned to the kitchen to see Natasha holding Willow in her arms. You paused in the doorway, your steps slowing as your gaze landed on Natasha. She held Willow close, her movements careful yet natural, like she’d been doing this forever. Willow babbled happily, one tiny hand clutching at Natasha’s necklace and the other reaching up to pat her cheek. Natasha smiled, a soft, genuine curve of her lips that you didn’t get to see often.
It was... endearing. Unexpected but endearing.
Natasha had always struck you as someone who thrived in control, her precision and composure unshakeable. But here she was, rocking a squirmy, giggling baby in her arms with a quiet patience that made your chest ache the best way.
She caught you watching, her green eyes meeting yours over Willow’s head. “Hey,” she said softly, a trace of shyness in her voice. “She’s a natural charmer, isn’t she?”
“Yeah,” you replied, your voice catching just a bit. “She likes you.”
Natasha chuckled, shifting Willow so the baby rested more securely against her shoulder. “I like her too,” she admitted. “But, full disclosure, I have no idea what I’m doing. I think she’s just being nice to me.”
You smiled, stepping closer. “You’re doing fine,” you said, your tone warm. “Better than fine. She doesn’t let just anyone hold her without pitching a fit.”
Willow reached for Natasha’s face again, her little fingers brushing against her cheek. Natasha didn’t flinch, just gently caught the baby’s hand and kissed her tiny palm. The sight was almost too much—tenderness wrapped up in someone so unrelentingly strong.
“Do you want her ?” Natasha asked, her voice light but filled with a bit of hesitation like maybe she didn’t want to let go just yet.
You shook your head, leaning against the counter. “Nah, you’re doing great. Besides, I think she’s already picked a favorite.”
Natasha gave a soft laugh, the sound low and genuine. “Guess I’ll have to live up to it, then.”
Vivian came in a moment later. "Everything's all ready," She said.
"Mom, did you make mac and cheese?" Peyton asked.
"Yes," Vivian nodded. "Your daughter requested it."
"Thanks, Mama," Peyton said.
Vivian glanced at you and Peyton, her eyes narrowing. "Y'all weren't fighting, were you?"
"No, ma'am," You and Peyton said in unison.
"Don't lie," Vivian scolded.
"We're fine," You insisted.
"We can save the arguing after Thanksgiving dinner," Peyton added.
"Alright," Vivian shrugged. "I'm not going to pretend to understand you two."
Natasha glanced between you and your sister, but you did not indicate that you were bothered by what had happened.
"Twins are back," Ross called from the front door as he entered the house with Deyjah and Diamond. All you heard was the pitter-patter of little feet as they kicked off their shoes and ran toward the kitchen.
"There's the troublemakers," You joked, ruffling their heads.
"You're back," Diamond exclaimed, pulling you into a hug.
"I am," You laughed, squeezing her back.
"Did you bring presents?" Deyjah asked, looking up at you expectantly.
"I didn't," You said. "It's not Christmas just yet. Girls, there's someone I want you to meet. This is my girlfriend, Natasha."
Diamond and Deyjah eyed Natasha curiously, their matching gazes assessing her with an unnerving and impressive sharpness.
"Why's your hair red?" Deyjah asked, her eyes narrowing.
"Well, I was born with red hair," Natasha explained. "Just like how y/n was born with dark hair."
"I was born first," Diamond announced proudly, puffing out her chest. "But I don't remember."
"Duh, 'cause you were a baby," Deyjah scoffed.
"Girls," Vivian scolded, "don't be rude. Why don't you go wash up for dinner?"
They did as they were told, rushing off to the bathroom.
"They're pretty cute," Natasha began. "How do you tell them apart?" She directed her question to Peyton.
"There are a few subtle differences," Peyton began. "Diamond has slightly better speech than Deyjah. Deyjah always has some sort of bracelet or necklace on. Though if you look closely, Diamond has a tiny mole on the left side of her neck."
Natasha nodded, seeming satisfied. "So, how old are they?"
"Six," Peyton answered.
"Six," Natasha echoed.
"Yep, six going on sixteen," Peyton joked. "They keep me busy most days."
"I can imagine," Natasha chuckled. "They're smart kids."
"Oh yeah," Peyton grinned. "They're smart."
You couldn't help but smile at Natasha's interest in the twins. She seemed genuinely curious and focused solely on Peyton as she talked about the girls. Seeing someone other than your mom and Brandon engaging with her was refreshing.
"This is my husband, Ross," Peyton introduced.
"Pleasure to meet you," Ross shook Natasha's hand. "Big fan."
"He's a fan," Peyton explained. "He loves all that superhero stuff. I'm not really into it, though."
"I can imagine," Natasha smiled. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Ross."
"Yeah, likewise," he replied, clearly starstruck. "How was the flight?"
"It was alright," You answered. "It's good to be back home."
Indeed it was.
******
The dining room was packed, every seat around the table taken, and a few extra chairs were squeezed in to accommodate the crowd. The smell of collard greens, roasted turkey, and freshly baked cornbread filled the air, mingling with the soft strains of gospel music playing from a speaker in the corner. Laughter and chatter echoed through the room as plates and glasses were passed around.
You sat beside Natasha, her hand resting lightly on your knee beneath the table. She looked calm, but you could tell she was soaking everything in—the voices, the warmth, the energy. She wasn’t used to this world, but she fit into it better than you’d expected.
“Alright, y’all, quiet down!” Vivian’s voice rose above the din, commanding attention. The table settled almost instantly, everyone turning toward her.
She stood at the head of the table, a serene yet authoritative presence. “Before we dig in, we’re going to give thanks,” she said, glancing around the room. “Natasha, since this is your first time joining us, I want you to know how happy we are to have you here. Family is everything to us; today, you’re family too.”
Natasha’s eyes widened slightly, and she gave a small, grateful smile. “Thank you, Mama Viv. That means a lot.”
"Now, in our household, we start with a prayer before Thanksgiving dinner," Vivian said. "I understand that you may not want to participate."
"No, ma'am," Natasha said.
"Well, okay then," Vivian said. "Now, let's bow our heads."
"Bow our heads, everybody," Vivian instructed, and the room obeyed. You noticed that even Natasha bowed her head a little, though her eyes remained open. "Dear Lord, thank you for bringing our family together today."
Natasha observed the room as the prayer went on. This was like a culture study for her. Experiencing a different family dynamic was intriguing.
"I want to thank you for the food and the company. And I pray that our family continues to stay safe and healthy. Amen."
Everyone lifted their heads and said, "Amen."
"Thank you, Mama," Peyton spoke up.
"Thank you, Mom," Brandon agreed.
"Yeah, thank you, Mama," Your brother, Quincy, said.
"Thanks, Mom," You nodded. The food began to be passed around, with everyone choosing which dishes they wanted and didn't want.
"I don't think we've ever had a guest that didn't participate in the prayer," Peyton commented. "Natasha, you were born in Russia, right?"
"Yeah, well, it's not exactly my thing," Natasha said. "I was born in Russia."
"It's not mine either," you said, hoping to diffuse the tension. "I think we all have ways of being thankful, and it's not anyone else's place to judge."
Peyton gave a slight shrug. "I was just curious. No harm meant."
"I get it," Natasha replied.
"You're welcome here, whether or not you believe in God," Vivian assured. "We're all a little different. It's what makes us interesting."
Natasha flashed Vivian a small, appreciative smile. "Thank you, Mama Viv. I appreciate that."
As everyone dug into their plates, the conversation shifted to lighter topics. Silverware scraping against plates filled the air, with only snippets of conversation breaking through the hum of family conversation. Your mom, ever the host, ensured no one went without refills, while your siblings kept things lively with playful banter. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Natasha enjoying the food. Some of the menu options were things she hadn't tasted before. It was endearing and a little heartwarming to see her want things.
"So, Natasha," Brandon leaned forward. "I gotta ask—who is the coolest person you've met?"
"Um..." Natasha's expression shifted into something thoughtful. "Well, I've met many interesting people in my life. I wouldn't say anyone was cooler than the other. Maybe the president?"
Brandon frowned. "I was hoping for someone a little more exciting."
"That is exciting," Quincy said.
"What?" Brandon protested.
"She's Black Widow, and you're asking her about who she's met," Quincy replied. "I want to know her stats. I mean, she's a spy. You must do some pretty cool stunts. What's your training regimen like?"
"Oh, come on," You lowered your fork. "Can we just not talk about work right now?"
"It's okay," Natasha smiled, patting your hand.
"I can answer a few questions," She said.
"Oh yeah," Brandon smirked. "How many push-ups can you do?"
"A lot," Natasha shrugged.
"Do you do chin-ups?" Quincy asked.
"Yes," Natasha said.
"I'd like to challenge you to a push-up contest," Quincy wiped his mouth. "You seem tough, but I bet I could take you."
"I could do the same," Brandon said. "We could all have a contest."
"I'm not going to do a push-up contest," Peyton shook her head. "It's Thanksgiving."
"Fine," Quincy shrugged. "Brandon and I can do it."
"I don't think you guys understand what you're challenging her to," You said. You knew firsthand how athletic Natasha was. Her stamina was out of this world both on and off the field.
"She's an Avenger," You said.
"So," Brandon shrugged.
"She's a trained assassin," You explained.
"I'm sure we could hold our own," Quincy countered.
"No, you can't," You shook your head.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Brandon put his hands up. "It sounds like you don't want us to take your girlfriend. Afraid she might fall in love with one of us?"
"I'm right here," Tori pinched Brandon. "Behave."
"Sorry, babe," Brandon muttered.
"No, I'm not worried," You rolled your eyes.
Natasha smirked, her eyes glinting with amusement as she leaned forward slightly. "Yeah, I think you guys should sit this one out," she said, her voice laced with humor but just enough seriousness to get her point across. "No offense, but I’ve been around some pretty intimidating people. I’m not exactly shaking in my boots here."
Quincy feigned a wounded expression. "Ouch. So, we’re not intimidating enough for you?"
"Not in the slightest," Natasha quipped, her smirk widening.
Brandon chuckled, throwing his hands up in mock surrender. "Okay, okay, fair enough. Guess we’ll stick to arm-wrestling each other and leave the assassin stuff to the pros."
Tori gave Brandon a side-eye but couldn’t help smiling. "Maybe you should worry about behaving before trying to impress Natasha."
You shook your head, unable to keep from laughing. "See? Even Tori knows you two would be hopeless."
Natasha reassured your thigh under the table, leaning in close enough that only you could hear. "I like your family," she murmured softly and sincerely.
You smiled at her, warmth blooming in your chest.
"We like you too," Vivian nodded. “It may be time for these boys to get put in their place.”
"I would like to see it," Peyton muttered.
"After dinner, then," Natasha smiled. "I have one condition if I win."
"What's that?" Quincy asked.
"You guys teach me how to play spades," Natasha suggested.
"Deal," Quincy nodded.
"And if you win, we can take some photos together," Brandon said.
"Fair enough," Natasha said.
"This will be interesting," Vivian commented.
"I know, right," Tori chuckled.
It was settled. Natasha would be challenging your brothers to a push-up contest. She was used to men challenging her to do things. It was in their nature almost.
After the meal, you helped clean up while your siblings gathered in the living room. They were ready for Natasha to kick their asses, and you could barely contain your excitement.
"Willow, you're about to watch your Daddy get beat," You whispered to the toddler.
"Don't count on it," Brandon said. "She won't be so confident when we're finished."
"We'll see," You said, setting the child on the couch.
Ross volunteered to be the referee, clearly enjoying the chaos. "Alright, everyone ready?" he asked, standing over the contestants with exaggerated authority.
Brandon and Quincy dropped to the floor with exaggerated confidence, flexing their arms dramatically to show off. Natasha joined them, calm and focused, her form perfect even before they started.
"Okay," Ross said, his voice booming for no reason. "On my count—one, two, three, go!"
The room filled with exaggerated grunts as your brothers enthusiastically attacked their push-ups, counting out each one loudly. "One, two, three—"
Natasha, meanwhile, moved effortlessly, her breathing even and controlled. You noticed she wasn’t counting out loud, focusing entirely on her form. By the fifteenth push-up, Brandon’s face turned red, and Quincy was already starting to slow down.
“That’s it?” Natasha teased, casually switching to one-handed push-ups without missing a beat.
The room erupted into gasps and laughter. Ross's jaw dropped. "Wait, wait, what?!"
"One hand?" Quincy groaned, struggling to keep his pace. "She’s showing off now."
"Is she even human?" Brandon muttered between labored breaths.
You couldn’t help but laugh, leaning against the back of the couch. “Don’t worry, Willow,” you told the toddler watching from her perch. “Your daddy’s about to learn a hard lesson.”
Despite their efforts, Natasha’s movements remained smooth and effortless. Not once did her arms so much as tremble. When Brandon and Quincy finally collapsed in a heap, Natasha was still going strong, with a slight smirk as she pushed through another set.
“Thirty-five… thirty-six…” Ross counted, shaking his head in disbelief.
When she finally stopped, Natasha rose gracefully and brushed herself off as if the entire thing had been a warm-up. "Good effort, boys," she said with a smirk, extending her hand to help Brandon.
"You didn’t even break a sweat!" Quincy protested, sprawled on the floor.
"Maybe next time," Natasha quipped, her tone light but undeniably victorious.
Brandon groaned dramatically, glancing at Willow, who was giggling. "Willow, Daddy did his best," he muttered, defeated.
“She’s my new favorite,” Ross declared, earning laughter from everyone in the room.
You walked over to Natasha, shaking your head with an affectionate smile. “Show-off,” you teased.
She leaned in close enough that only you could hear. “You love it.”
She wasn’t wrong.
**********
Later that night, everyone is tucked into their rooms as you help your mom with the dishes. Natasha had taken an early shower to decompress from such a busy day. She wasn't used to big family affairs like this and needed a moment alone. This gave you time to talk with your mom.
As she washed the dishes, you dried them.
"So, what do you think?" You asked as you placed another place in the cabinet. "Do you like her?"
"She's lovely," Vivian nodded. "You seem happy."
"I am," You confirmed.
"Good," Vivian continued washing the dishes.
"She seems to be fitting in well," You said.
"She is," Vivian said. "She's a sweet girl."
"She is," You agreed.
"Are you sleeping with her?"
"Whoa, Mom," You sputtered. She gave you a knowing look, and you sighed. "Why are you asking?"
"I'm your mother," Vivian said. "It's a valid question. Is she a good partner?"
"Yes, she is," You said.
"She doesn't treat you right; I will come and cut her," Vivian threatened.
"She does treat me right," You insisted.
"Then there shouldn't be a problem with my question," Vivian said.
"She does," You repeated.
"Well, I'm glad," Vivian said.
You nodded, continuing the routine of putting the dishes away.
"So, what's next for you two?"
"Next?" You asked, unsure of what she meant.
"Where do you see the relationship going?" Vivian asked.
"Um," You hadn't thought about it much. "I don't know. We're taking it slow. Just enjoying each other's company."
"But do you think it will be a long-term relationship?" Vivian asked.
"I hope so," You said. "I like her and hope the feeling is mutual."
"Well, if you like her and she likes you, I'm sure it will work out," Vivian said. There was a moment of silence. "I see the way she looks at you. The same way your daddy looked at me."
"You think so?"
"I know so," Vivian smiled. "He always had that twinkle in his eye when he talked about me."
You smiled, finishing the last of the dishes.
"I'm happy for you, baby," Vivian said. "You deserve someone who makes you feel special. Someone who puts a smile on your face."
"I'm glad you approve," You nodded. "She's a good person. I know people have their reservations about her past and..."
"People have their reasons for being judgmental," Vivian said. "You know as well as I do that a lot of the time, people are just scared and misguided."
"Yeah," You nodded.
"Besides, your daddy taught me something important."
"What's that?"
"It doesn't matter where a person came from, just who they are," Vivian answered.
"He taught me the same," You replied.
"I know," Vivian kissed your forehead.
You hugged her, feeling a wave of emotions wash over you.
"Mom," You began.
"Yeah, baby?"
"I miss him," You said.
"So do I," Vivian pulled away. "But, we have to carry on without him."
"You know, Peyton told me how things are going at the laundromat," You began. "If my tuition is too much."
"Baby, you're not giving up school because of me," Vivian said. "The laundromat is fine. We just had a bad few months, is all."
"I'm sure we can figure out a way to increase revenue," You suggested.
"Maybe, but not now," Vivian said. "It'll work itself out. I have a little savings if it comes down to it."
"Well, maybe I can talk to the admissions office," You said. "See about a payment plan or loans."
"We'll figure it out," Vivian reassured. "Don't you worry about it?"
"I'm not worried," You insisted.
"You're a horrible liar," Vivian chuckled. "Now, go check on your girlfriend. It's getting late."
You smiled. "Thanks, mom."
"Anytime," Vivian winked.
******
When you returned to your room, Natasha was out of the shower and curled under the covers. Her eyes were closed, and her breathing was deep and even, suggesting she was already asleep.
You smiled, careful not to wake her, as you changed into a pair of pajamas and brushed your teeth. As you crawled into bed beside her, she stirred slightly, cracking one eye open.
"Sorry," you whispered, draping an arm across her waist. "Go back to sleep."
"Everything okay?" She asked.
"Yeah, it's fine," you reassured, resting your head on her shoulder.
"Okay," She closed her eyes.
You pressed a kiss to her jaw, snuggling closer. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight," She replied. "Thanks for bringing me here."
"Of course," You whispered.
You lay in the darkness for a while, listening to her breathing and enjoying the warmth of her body. Gradually, your eyelids grew heavy, and you drifted off to sleep, wrapped in the safety of her arms.
72 notes · View notes
smoketransformer · 2 days ago
Text
A New Family for the Holiday
Tanner couldn’t make it home for Thanksgiving. After moving to a new city for a job, he couldn’t afford the plane ticket. He was planning of just heating up a pre-cooked meal be purchased from the store, but his co-worker Ben invited him over to spend the holiday with his friends.
Tanner didn’t speak much to Ben since he worked in a different department, so he didn’t know much about him. He just knew he was an older gentlemen in in late 50s, who had a bushy beard, was larger in size and took frequent smoke breaks. Tanner had seen him walking through the office holding a tobacco pipe as he made his way outside.
He debated on even going. As a 30 year old, he didn’t know whether he would have much in common with Ben and his friends. In the end though, he figured it was better to spend the day with people and not by himself.
Tanner approached Ben’s house with a bottle of whiskey. He figured Ben was a whiskey drinker, so he brought it as a gift as a nice gesture.
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Tanner knocked and a few short seconds later, Ben opened the door. “Happy Thanksgiving, Tanner!” Ben bellowed with a pipe in his jaw. Smoke not only rolled out of Ben’s mouth as he spoked, but also out of the front door. Tanner knew Ben was a smoker, but didn’t expect this much smoke in his house.
Tanner wasn’t one for being around smoke, but it was too late to turn back now.
“Happy Thanksgiving, I got you this bottle,” Tanner said as he handed Ben the gift.
“Thanks son! Come in, come in!” Ben said as he gestured Tanner inside. Tanner never was called son by an older man before; well, besides from his own father. It made his feel odd but somehow also protected.
“My friends are already here. Hope the smoke isn’t too much. Big cigar and pipe smokers, we are,”
“It’s fine,” Tanner said trying to act like it wasn’t a big deal, but he felt like he was just breathing in smoke.
Ben took Tanner to the dining room, which was even smokier. There was a group of four other men there. They all looked like some version of Ben.
“Hey everyone, this is Tanner,” Ben introduced his co-worker.
“Hi everyone, Happy Thanksgiving,” Tanner said feeling out of place.
Ben pointed to a thick man who happened to be about Tanner’s age, but looked much different than he did. He was bald, thickly bearded and had a large cigar in his hand. “That’s Jay,” Ben added.
He then pointed to an middle aged man who was also large in size, hairy and smoking a similar fat cigar, “And that’s Jay’s partner, Dan. He owns a popular bar in the city.”
Dan got up and shook Tanner’s hand and said, “It’s called The Bear’s Den, ever been there?”
“Can’t say that I have,” Tanner replied.
“Sure you will soon enough,” Dan chuckled as he sat back down.
“Cool it, Dan,” Ben laughed, “And that is Harold.” Ben pointed to an older man who was just plain fat. He was bald on the top of his head, but still had hair on the sides. He also had a very large but nicotine stained mustache. Just like Ben, he was was smoking a pipe. “Actually met him at The Bear’s Den a few weeks ago. He’s a trucker and was lucky enough to be passing through town for Thanksgiving.”
“Howdy,” Harold said with his pipe clenched in his teeth.
“Then that is Chuck,” Ben pointed to another young man who was bald and bearded and smoking a fat cigar, “He works on my car.”
“Nice to meet ya,” Chuck said with a smile, before sticking his cigar back in his mouth.
“Nice to meet you all,” Tanner nervously said.
“Take a seat next to Chuck, sure he’ll share his stockpile of gars with ya,” Ben laughed as he headed to the kitchen.
Tanner took a seat and Chuck asked him in his deep voice, “Want one?”
“A cigar? No thanks, I don’t smoke,” Tanner answered.
“Well, I have plenty when you change your mind,” Chuck teased.
Ben came back with two beers, “Here son.” Ben handed Tanner one of the beers.
“Already calling him son, Ben?” Dan asked and grinned.
Tanner didn’t know what he was talking about, but thought it was strange.
“I said cool it, Dan,” Ben said in an annoyed tone.
Tanner took a sip of the beer, but it tasted so good that he continued drinking it to the point of actually chugging it.
All the men at the table stared and smiled. “Sorry, must have been thirsty.”
“Thanksgiving is all about indulgence,” Ben assured him, “Drink up.” Ben offered him the second beer and Tanner accepted.
Tanner made small talk with the men as Ben was bringing out the feast. He didn’t touch the second beer yet, even though it was tempting.
“You haven’t touched your second beer,” Dan said, “Is something wrong? I brewed it myself.”
“No, not at all,” Tanner replied, “Just waiting on dinner.”
Dan stared at Tanner. It made him feel uncomfortable, so he took a drink of the beer. Once again, it ended up being a chug. Dan smiled.
He was starting to feel a little buzzed and full from the beer, but was still looking forward to eating dinner.
“Got you a refill, son,” Ben said as he handed him another beer.
“Thanks, Dad,” Tanner said, “I mean, Ben.” Ben just chuckled as he sat next to him.
“I’ll dish you up, son,” Ben said as he grabbed Tanner’s plate. He was putting large quantities of everything. Once he was done, he set the loaded plate in front of Tanner. He added “Don’t worry, you can always have seconds.”
All the men made their plates and started eating, but they still had their choice of smoke. Tanner thought this was too much food, but it tasted delicious. He kept eating. A bit of gravy rolled down his chin and he used his napkin to clean it up. He felt stubble around his mouth. It startled him cause he was clean shaven. His chin also felt larger. Maybe the smoke and beer was getting to him. Maybe it wasn’t actually there. But it was.
He grabbed his beer and placed his head on top of his head to nervous play with his curly hair, but it wasn’t there.
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Tanner got anxious and was about to get up, but Ben placed his hand on Tanner’s leg. “It’s okay, son. Just relax and eat. Indulge.” As Ben said this, he blew his pipe smoke directly into Tanner’s face.
“Yes Dad,” Tanner said in a relaxed tone and obliged. He kept eating.
Tanner not only had seconds, but thirds. Each helping was as large as the last. During the corse of dinner, he had two more beers. As he ate, he felt more like he belonged.
All the men ate all the food; there would be no leftovers.
Full and a little uncomfortable, Tanner excused himself to go to the bathroom. Once he got there, he had to unbutton his jeans as they were about to burst. Same with his shirt as he had to loosen the buttons. That’s when he noticed his large belly. He thought he wouldn’t be able to see his junk anymore.
He looked at himself for the first time in the mirror. He was a different man. He had a full goatee and an even fuller face. His hair was now in a buzzcut. These sudden changes should have disturbed him, but he liked what he saw. He just saw his true self now.
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Tanner came back to the dinner table and plopped down. His shirt was completely unbuttoned and his jeans were only held up by the last hole in his belt.
All the men besides Ben were at the table and each had a fresh cigar or pipe going and Tanner had a sudden urge to have one himself. It wasn’t a want, but a need.
Ben came back to the dinner table from the kitchen. He not only had one pipe, but two. One of them was in his jaw and the other was in his hand.
“Here son. Brought you your pipe,” Ben said as he sat down and handed him his pipe.
“Thanks Dad,” Tanner said as he clinched the pipe in his teeth and grabbed one of the lighters off the table.
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Tanner naturally lit up the pipe and the smoke was pouring out of his mouth as he was puffing away. His urge and need felt fulfilled when he took deep pull of smoke deep in his lungs.
Ben put his hand on Tanner’s leg and said, “Happy Thanksgiving, son.”
“Happy Thanksgiving, Dad,” Tanner replied. He looked around the table and saw all the men enjoying their smoke; giving into the pleasure of indulgence. He felt like he finally belonged with his new found family.
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welcometoneverland-98 · 1 day ago
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Fire of Venus // 𖥸 Chapter 1 𖥸
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The gods were not kind. They were ruthless and seemed to only favor those who didn't need them.
My father taught me early on not to anger them. "There is no rage like the gods when angered" he would often tell me. And then the war started and he was called to lead it and bring glory to two emperors who had barely been touched by the sun, let alone the fire of rage that seeped out of angry men whose land had just been taken from them.
My father was said to have been sent by Mars himself. Unbroken and undefeated in battle as he kept bringing good fortune to Rome. But I saw him as he would walk into our home, embracing his wife tightly as if he was afraid she could disappear from his grasp just like my mother had many years ago. I saw the way his eyes looked tired and broken and just done. I merely watched.
I felt an ache in my heart anytime I wanted more. I wanted to see life beyond the walls of my home, to see the parties, hear the music and meet the people that surrounded music father when he was gome, but he kept me inside. Hidden. Safe, as his wife claimed.
The daughter of a previous emperor had caught my father's eye and he had caught her heart. It had hurt at first. A constant reminder that my mother was no longer in this realm and couldn't be held anymore. Their union was painful at first but it wasn't my place to say anything and ruin my father's new found happiness. Then the pain became dull with time as she show me her kindness and told me stories of the world in her youth. My favorites were the ones with the gladiator whose name was Maximus. There was something so appealing about the bravery he had shown, even, if I dared say it out loud, his defiance. My mind couldn't help but form thoughts that couldn't be spoken aloud. About how Rome needed shaping by my small understanding of overheard conversations and whispers.
I had known peace until the invitation came along. There had been talks of my fathers arrival and his latest conquest that had been a success, but this time, when he walked into our home to greet us after a long time, he had something new.
"The emperors wish to invite us all to a feast in honor of their newest conquest" he spoke as he looked down to the ground "we are all to go this time, Anna included".
That night I had asked the gods the unthinkable, I had asked for their kindness.
· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·
There were hands all over me pulling and tugging and almost fighting one another to make me presentable. This was to be my first time being presented to the people of Rome, not only the people but the emperors and those who attended their parties.
I heard only whispers about these places and events. Many from the people who worked for us. They giggled in hiding as they shared tales of their improper affairs with the opposite gender. The first time I had heard about their endeavors I felt like I had stumbled on something I shouldn't know about, but the more I heard the more curious I became and now I stood in my dressing chambers being prepped to be thrown into the unknown.
I had been bathed in the finest oils we owned and my body had already been dropped in my favorite silk that had the perfect sunset hues of purple and blue. It was adorned with golden accents around my waist to tighten the fabric and keep it there and my neck and fingers were filled with golden jewelry that had been gifted to me the many times my father had went abroad.
My hair was almost fone when I found myself lost in through, so lost that I didn't feel the gentle hand on my shoulder that belong to Lucilla.
She had a faint slime on her face and she looked me up and down, drinking me in as if she had never placed her eyes upon my figure until now.
"You are a sight to be seen" she adjusted the fabric on my shoulder, smoothing it out before taking the ring from her finger and holding it out to me "I want you to wear this tonight. May it bring you good fortune".
It was the ring that belonged to her father. I had admired it many times as it shone on her finger. I knew my fathers name had also been engraved inside. My hand reached out to her slowly as I gently grasped the ring in my own hand before slowly placing it on my own finger.
"I feel uneasy about tonight" I let the words slip out of my mouth as I looked up at her.
For a moment there was silence, the only thing that happened was the way her eyes adverted to the people who were still standing in the room. She looked at them, a stoic look on her face and brought up her hand to point them outside. They nodded shortly and left us alone.
There were conversations that needed to be held alone, with no prying ears to share gossip and make up stories of what was the actual truth. We were taught from an early age that opinions were to be kept to ourselves, especially when we were born a woman. We were taught to believe that we were better to be seen and not heard.
"It will be fine" she adjusted the my hair "your father shall accompany us and I shall never leave your side"
I nodded my head but there was still fear etched on my face. After all this time of longing for this moment here I was dreading it as it was finally approaching me.
A/N
Here's a new one to celebrate my new obsession.
First chapters might be smaller but hopefully they will become longer with time. Hope you enjoy it!
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hl-obsessed · 3 days ago
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link to original manip
✨ fics i've read in November ✨
.🌸🌸🌸.
Roman Empire by Speechless
(E, 11k) One day Louis answers Liam's phone while he is in the shower. That's how he meets Harry, Liam's friend who moved to Italy just a while ago. And that's how Liam loses ownership of his phone.
*
“Do they sleep on the other side of the bed in Italy?”
He hears Harry laugh for a moment.
“I sleep right in the middle,” Harry replies. “Because no one will marry me.”
Louis bites back a little smile.
“Have you asked enough people?"
“The old lady walking her dog, just now.” Harry confirms. “She said no.”
Tastes like Strawberries by @sadaveniren
(E, 5k) I’m stressed. I’m nesting and demand cuddles. Come over
Harry frowned and double checked who the text was from. Yup, it still said Louis - Grad, which meant it was from Louis from his grad school.
aka Louis texts Harry by mistake. It works out
✨ Until the Pearls Get Lost by @londonfoginacup
(M, 25k) London, 1933. Harry Styles, alpha, elusive bachelor and happy third wheel to his coupled friends, receives a visit from one Liam Payne, begging for his help.
Liam’s childhood friend Louis is about to become the talk of the city; left at the altar because the mating bond was rejected, Louis will spend the rest of his life in an institution unless Liam can find someone to take him in and care for him as he recovers. Most omegas with failed bonds are never the same again.
With rumours swirling around about the reason for the rejected bond, Harry gives in to Liam’s pleas. He hasn’t the slightest idea how that decision will shape the rest of his life.
Bloom Just For You by @sunshineandthemoonlight
(E, 7,6k) Marcel decides to get straight to the point. "So I was wondering if you’d be interested in bottoming,” he says.
He glances anxiously over at his boyfriend in time to see Louis’ eyes widen over his mug of tea. There’s a choking sound, and all of a sudden Louis is coughing violently, trying to draw in a breath as his tea goes down the wrong way.
“Oh my– oh my god, Louis!” Marcel yells, panicked.
~
Marcel has never been happier; he has a job he loves, a boyfriend he adores, and a sex life with said boyfriend that exceeds his wildest of fantasies. But there’s one thing he and Louis haven’t yet tried in the bedroom. And he can’t get the thought out of his head...
No Surprises by @louislittletomlintum
(E, 21k) “I smoke socially, sometimes. Depends who I’m with,” Harry shrugged, taking another puff. Louis watched his soft little lips wrap around it and purse just slightly on the inhale. It wasn’t the first time he considered if Harry was perfectly made just to torment him.
“Hm. I won’t send you to jail for now, then. On crimes of fibbing,” Louis decided benevolently. He was about to open his mouth to spout off some other shite before he saw Harry had a bit of a pensive look in his features despite how his eyes were a little glassy.
“Lou,” he began, and god Louis loved that he’d earned that little nickname off of him. “Can I ask you summat?” Harry added, tapping the ash of the cigarette in the tray before taking another puff.
“You just did,” Louis smiled because Harry walked right into that one. “But I’ll give you another,”
“How did you know you were queer?”
or; an office au where louis is a loveable brat and harry is working himself out
You're Not Harry Styles (or are you?) by @bluegreen28fics
(E, 20k) Singer Louis Tomlinson finally meets his crush - ex-boybander Harry Styles - on a late night talk show after he recently released a hit single mentioning Harry. They hit it off and fall in love.
Play Pretend, Find a Friend? by @angelichl
(E, 40k) They had to pull back for air. Louis surveyed the guy’s face, in awe of his blown pupils and sharp jawline, the way their shared spit glistened on his lips.
“Hi,” he breathed. He blinked, and came back to himself a little bit, blushing at his own boldness. “Sorry. Is this okay?”
The stranger removed his right hand from the curve of Louis’ waist in order to cup his jaw, tilting it up to the angle he desired. He pressed their lips together, murmuring, “Definitely.” And then he kissed harder.
***
When Louis sees his ex-boyfriend kissing a random girl at a party, he acts out of blind jealousy. He kisses the first guy he can find. It turns into a thing.
✨💎 To Fight For Freedom by @snowy38
(E, 112k) It was snowing when he went down.
His sturdy and well-worn hiking boots were tied snugly to his socked feet; the knee-high thick black fabric keeping his legs warm to almost the point his pleated kilt rested just above his knees. Almost, because there was still a good four inches of skin bared to the elements.
His father had told him he had no need to wear the traditional uniform, but Harry knew better than to believe him. In fact, the only reason his father would say such a thing was because he would rather see him in anything other than an item of clothing which resembled a skirt. The reasons for his reservations may well be justified but Harry couldn’t think about that right now.
It was snowing and he’d been shot.
✨ Into the Woods (series) by mystic_believexx
(M, 44k) The one where the future Alpha of the Tomlinson pack imprints on the human, Harry Styles.
(warning❗this story is unfinished, last update in 2017. it's so easily to fall in love with it and have your heart broken 💔)
✨ amaryllis by @hattalove
(E, 146k) "Where are we?"
"Um. A little while out of London?" Niall tries, seemingly the only one willing to not be mysterious and provide Harry with information, and. Oh.
"London London? As in, the capital of England London?" he asks, just in case he'd misheard.
"No, the other London," Louis laughs, low and biting. He comes closer finally, the moonlight just enough to reveal a sharp-cut jaw and pale skin. "Sorry, Pup."
Nobody's ever called Harry a "pup". Frankly, he finds it quite insulting, but he lets it slide to try and comprehend his current crisis.
***
or the one where harry gets bitten by a werewolf. louis is the mysterious not-quite alpha, liam and zayn have Things going on, niall is their token human, and together, they watch a lot of TV.
'Sup by @mediawhorefics
(G, 6,7k) Gemma really wants her little brother to sign up for a dating app and get back in the game after a messy divorce. Harry thinks he’s way too old to swipe. They compromise to devastatingly embarrassing results.
Meanwhile, all Louis wants is to finish the play he’s been commissioned to write, but one of the regulars at his local coffee shop keeps distracting him.
***
ft. older larry, pushy gemma, harry being a disaster gay and silver fox louis.
Can't Imagine You Without The Same Smile In Your Eyes by @galacticlarry
(T, 4k) It’s been over a week since Harry’s first semester at university began, and he has had zero new exciting friendships or noteworthy experiences, just a bizarre dream that keeps waking him up in the middle of the night.
What happens when the boy with the pretty blue eyes from his psychology class catches his eye and starts occupying his mind?
Art of seduction by harrysprostate
(E, 13k) “Besides, I have a fiancé.”
“Does your fiancé know where you are right now?” Harry asked with a raised eyebrow.
“He knows I’m out with a friend.”
Harry blinked. “A friend?”
“What, engaged people can’t have friends?”
Harry chuckled at that and shook his head very slowly. He took his time to answer, even shifted in his seat and made sure that they were making eye contact first. “Oh Louis, we’re not going to be friends.”
Louis just smirked.
~or the one where louis is engaged but that doesn't stop harry from seducing him~
✨ my kingdom for a kiss (tonight you're on my mind) by leighbot
(E, 30k) “Oh fuck, I’m going to have to tell my mum,” Louis says, closing his eyes.
The silence stretches between them for a long moment until Harry starts breathing heavily. “I’m going to have to tell the Queen,” he says, “and my mum.”
 Or, the one where Zayn and Louis make a friendly wager and it goes too far, Harry's a baker with a heart of gold and really great hair, Liam is an overworked PA who just wants to enjoy his holiday and Niall is completely at ease, as always. An accidentally married AU mixed with a splash of modern royalty.
Still Dreaming ‘Bout You by @ireallysawanangel
(T, 3k) Harry doesn’t pay much attention to football. That’s proven even more apparent when the biggest football star in the UK walks into his juice bar and he doesn’t even notice. He does start to take notice when that football star keeps coming back.
✨ Just for Tonight (I can be yours) by @sadaveniren
(E, 42k) Harry, prince of Cestrescir, has been betrothed to Ludvic, prince of Yorvik, since birth. He'd accepted a loveless marriage as his duty to his country, until an accident threw him in the path of a gentle alpha
✨ This World's Ashes by @sunshineandthemoonlight
(E, 34k) The man stares at him, and all Harry can hear is his own heartbeat, racing.
Then the stranger turns away. He walks a few paces and bends down, picking up a large knife from the ground and shoving it into a pouch attached to his belt.
“I won’t hurt you, you know.”
Harry’s eyes snap up to the man’s face. He’s looking at Harry sincerely, palms held up as though in surrender. There’s still a knife in his right hand, though, so Harry is only slightly reassured.
Harry swallows to combat the dryness of his throat, and then says, “I won’t hurt you either.”
***
A post-apocalypse AU where Harry, battling his past as he survives in the woods, has learnt not to trust anyone except his dog. Then Louis crashes into his life, with his bright spirit and soft lips, pulling Harry from the depths of a loneliness he hadn’t realised he was drowning in. But there is danger lurking, and Harry’s not the only one wrestling with his past.
✨ no faith left to lose by @louieshalo
(M, 7k) Louis shoves an album booklet — Harry’s album booklet — into Harry’s hands, folded open to a familiar page. “I need you to tell me that that goddamn song is not about me.” His voice cracks a little in his vehemence, and ice fills Harry’s veins as he glances down at the creased page.
He doesn’t need to look closely to know what it is Louis is talking about — the title is printed plainly on the page, Second Chances, along with every incriminating lyric, line by line. It’s his most blatant offense off the entire album, probably; sickeningly indulgent and too obviously vulnerable to even defend himself against. The song is a surface-level dip into the fantasy world Harry toys with when the ache of loneliness gets to be too much in the middle of the night, the brief glimpse already toeing over the boundary he’d promised himself he’d set for his career.
Most damning, though, is the tiny embossed dedication at the bottom of the page;
“For who I’d be if I wasn’t afraid,” Louis recites, looking expectantly at Harry. “What the fuck does that mean?
***
or, the one where they miss each other more than anything.
.🌸🌸🌸.
part 1 (+50k) ✨💐 part 2 (30-50k) ✨🥀 part 3 (10-30k)
part 4 (< 10k) ✨🪷 part 5 (monthly rec) ✨💐
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onepiecestarry · 1 day ago
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A Different Kind of Pirate - Part 8
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Hey guys! Sorry it's been a while, I went back to school and tbh nobody told me my second year in college or engineering would be this hard (they definitely did). But I’m making it thru! Only two more weeks T-T. But I checked on this story and saw 1.2k reads and never would’ve thought anyone would read this let alone that many of you (literally gonna cry). And I loved reading your comments. So here I am to update! I am sorry it took so long but I promise to actually finish it this time :) XOXO
Fluff, 1.7k words, lots of plot points glossed over from the manga/anime (sorry!)
Zoro x Reader
Masterlist
Part 8: A Samurai and a Florist
The next day you all convene to discuss the plan going forward. As you sit you watch Zoro making your tea, just how you like it, and coming to sit next to you, handing you your tea and placing his free arm around you. You lean into him quietly sipping on your tea while you wait for the rest of the crew. Once everyone was there Kin’emon started.
“We must go to Zou to reunite with your crew and find my friend! We will stop at Zou and continue to Wano after reuniting with everyone.” He exclaims.
The plans continue with the usual mapping and joking around. You all were not worried about getting to Zou, especially with Sanji there first to check everything out.
---- (Time skip past Zou events)
After the long process of getting to Zou, fighting, not fighting, fighting again, realizing Sanji’s gone, and finding Kin’emon’s friend was over you all realized you needed another plan.
“Alright, guys!” Nami yells at everyone sitting in a circle talking to get their attention. “Let's figure this out.” She says with a worried but determined look. “Okay we need to split up, half of us will go with Law’s crew and kin’emon and co. to Wano, and the other half will take the Sunny to Big Mom to get Sanji back, we just need to figure out who.” She explains.
“I’m going to get Sanji,” Luffy says with an unnaturally serious look on his face.
“Count me in too!” Says Brook, Chopper, Usopp, and some Minx.
“Okay, I’ll go with you guys to navigate the Sunny.
“Count me out, I ain’t savin' that shitty cook’s shitty life,” Zoro says leaning back on a tree. “And y/n is coming with me, the celestial dragons can’t get to her on Wano.” You hum in agreement at his statement.
“Alright then I think Zoro, y/n, Robin, and Frankie should go with Law, and we will all meet back up in Wano,” Nami says.
Everyone agrees and we all begin to pack to leave Zou. You become uneasy as you realize you’ll have to work with Law, nervous he’ll be upset about your last conversation. But you quickly shake it off knowing it can’t be avoided.
You get to Law’s ship with everyone else, Zoro is unusually close to you. You look up at him with a confused look as if asking ‘What’s up?’. He just nods over to Law and you nod in response, understanding he’s keeping him away from you.
Bepo showed you and the rest of the strawhats to an extra room you’d be using to sleep while traveling. As you walk in you see two small twin beds and two hammocks, four places to sleep, and five people.
Robin is already making one of the small beds for herself and Frankie and Usopp are getting comfortable in the hammock, so that leaves Zoro and you to the last twin bed. He didn’t even flinch, already on the bed getting comfortable and falling asleep. You giggle to yourself as you push him over to make room for yourself.
----
The days flew by quickly on your way to Wano, Zoro made sure that Law never came close to you, not that you were worried if he did. On the last day, you finally arrived, finding a cove to hide Law’s ship in and hiking up to a remote area to discuss your next steps.
That’s when Kin’emon revealed the reason you all were there, and how he and his friends had gotten there too. To say you were shocked was an understatement, but of course, Zoro had no reaction. You look at him dumbfounded that he's not the least bit confused or surprised.
“What? We’ve heard crazier.” He says nonchalantly.
“Have we?” You cross your arms in questioning.
“No, not at all.” He says leaning back on a rock. You giggle at his demeanor.
Your attention is taken from Zoro as Kin’emon starts to describe his plan.
“We will have all of you go undercover and spread these flyers to anyone with the crescent tattoo on their ankle. This message they will understand. Frankie, you will go undercover as a craftsman apprentice, and see if you can retrieve the blueprints of Kaido’s mansion from your boss. Robin, you will go undercover as a Geisha, your mission is to get close to the Shogun. Usopp, you will be a salesman and you will spread the flyers in the capitol. Zoro and y/n, you both will go undercover together as a samurai and flower shop owner. y/n I am putting Zoro with you to ensure he will not cause trouble as a foreign swordsman.” You giggle at Kin’emon’s comment.
“Hey! I don’t get into trouble… that often” Zoro whispers the last part. You laugh at his defense.
Kin’emon begins to hand out locations of apartments and houses we may stay at as well as stacks of flyers to hand out. Kin’emon then gives you all the clothes and hairstyles to fit in.
---
As you walk through the busy streets of the flower capital you smell all the delicious food stands nearby, watching people rush from building to building, as well as others on a casual stroll. You notice Zoro is beginning to turn in the wrong direction, so to prevent him from getting lost you grab his hand.
“I am not dealing with your directionless ass right now pretty boy, stay with me for the love of-”
“Don’t gotta ask me twice,” he says smirking down at you, making it obvious how okay he is with holding your hand.
You both continue to walk around looking for your assigned house, eventually finding it and entering. You look around at the sad wood falling apart, and the floor with torn mats.
“I guess that’ll make do.” You sigh. “Where’s the beds?” You question looking around.
“You mean bed. And probably a futon in the closet.” Zoro says looking through the cabinets in the kitchen.
You laugh at his correction of you and go to look for the futon, eventually finding it and setting it up with fresh sheets.
“Any food in there?” you yell over to Zoro.
“Nah, don’t think so,” Zoro says back.
“Alright, I guess we’ll have to go out and get some then. You sigh.
You make your way past the kitchen heading for the front door, but before you can take another step you are grabbed by your waist and twirled facing the other direction with Zoro leaning down towards your face, with a cocky smirk plastered on his face.
“Where do you think you’re going.” He says teasingly.
“To the flower shop to see what I’m dealing with, and to get some food for dinner.” You lightly hit his chest, giggling.
“Hmm, I’ll come with.” He says letting you go.
---
Once you get to your stall, you realize that it's already stocked with most things you’d need thankfully. Suddenly the woman in the stall next to you comes over to speak to you.
“Hello darling, are you both new in town?” She says sweetly looking between you and Zoro.
“Yes, we are, we just got married and decided to move to the capital from our home village,” Zoro says before you could even think of responding. Realizing what he said, your cheeks flush pink at his words.
“Aw how cute, you two make a great couple, I must say. You will make beautiful children one day I’m sure.” The older woman says innocently smiling at the two of you. You nearly choke on air at her words, but Zoro hides you behind him, thanking the woman while ushering her back to her stall.
He comes back to you stuffing your face in your kimono’s sleeves hiding your bright red face. He lets out a hard laugh, grabbing your face and moving it to look at him, only making you blush harder. You lightly slap his arms away and begin to ready your flower stall as he laughs watching you.
You both decide to return home after “borrowing” some food, as Zoro calls it. You immediately begin to prep dinner when you return, making some rice and cutting some vegetables. Zoro announces he’s going to shower, you hum in response.
Suddenly, you turned around and pressed up against the counter with Zoro’s arms on either side of you. You get flustered at his actions trying to look away. Zoro leans down and whispers in your ear, “Want to join me, wife?” He asks in a deep tone. You freeze at his offer, face flushed with pink once again. He laughs at your reaction and backs off retreating to the bathroom. You quickly return to cutting vegetables to take your mind off it.
You finished making dinner as Zoro exited the bathroom. “Hey, dinner ready, go ahead and sit down. I’ll bring you a-” You stammer as you turn to look at a freshly showered Zoro with a towel barely hanging off his hips, leaving not much to the imagination. You stare for a good few seconds before you realize he’s laughing at you.
You set the small table while he changes, making sure to give him a nice large portion. As he sits down he looks at the food you made.
“Wait is this curry?” He asks excitedly.
“Yeah, I figured it would be easy and filling.” You casually say beginning to eat.
“I fucking love curry.” He says inhaling all of his food. You laugh at him, happy to know he likes the food you made.
Once you both finished, he washed the dishes while you showered. After your shower, you sat on the edge of the futon thinking about the day, when Zoro came in and practically tackled you down onto the bed. Both of you laughing as you recovered.
He grabbed onto your waist pulling you closer as you both go to bed. “Goodnight wife.” He whispers before you hear his soft snores filling the room. You melt into his touch at the thought of how much he loves to call you that, eventually allowing yourself to get lost in the comfort of sleep. 
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willowsnook · 21 hours ago
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five years later
Pulled pork, extra meat, sourdough (Part 2…mikes way..?)
andrei iosivas x childhoodbsf!reader
i’d be insane not to love you
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Wining and dining people was your least favorite part of your job. You enjoyed the boots on the ground, technical work that you had spent two years heads down doing. But now that you and your partner’s startup was slightly off the ground, you desperately needed investors. So, instead of going out with your friends this Friday night, you were at a corporate happy hour, stuck in countless conversations with older men who didn’t really understand how technology was evolving.
“So explain to me again how this works,” the man you were talking to asked, and you forced your face to remain in the tight smile that you wore. Luckily, your partner jumped in, and you took the time to scan the room, casually sipping your drink. Nobody was that interesting or attractive except a guy who looked like your age by the bar. Wait, he looks so familiar. Tan skin, dark shaggy hair, ripped. And that smile. The smile given to you too many times growing up at the beach, sitting around your family’s dining room table, after high school football games. Andrei Iosivas.
He was your next-door neighbor when you were kids, and you were inseparable. He was your first friend, your first kiss (you were 10), and honestly, the man everyone thought you would marry one day. But as it does, life got in the way. Andrei got a scholarship to Princeton, and you ended up at Stanford. The first year was okay; you flew out to see him once, and he flew to see you, but then he didn’t come home that summer. And you didn’t come home the next summer. It wasn’t anyones fault, you both just got busy. Andrei was trying to make it to the NFL, and you met Jenna and were trying to get an idea you both came up with for an actual software product. Now that you were thinking about it, you hadn’t seen him in five years.
As if sensing your gaze, Andrei looked up, and your eyes locked. His eyebrows shot up in recognition, and that familiar grin spread across his face. He raised his glass slightly in acknowledgment.
You excused yourself from the conversation, hardly hearing your partner's confused protest as you approached the bar. Andrei met you halfway.
"No way," he said, shaking his head in disbelief. "Is that really you?"
"In the flesh," you replied, unable to stop smiling. "What are you doing here?"
“Honestly, I’m not sure,” he said, and you chuckled. “One of my friends was invited, and I wasn’t doing anything, so I tagged along. Can I get you a drink?”
You nodded and he flagged down the bartender for you to order a gin & tonic.
“Little different than the Burnetts and lemonade we were drinking back then huh,” he teased and you fake gagged.
“God, anytime I see that bottle, I want to throw up,” you complained, and he laughed, his eyes twinkling with amusement. You took the drink from the bartender before stepping off to the side with Andrei.
“So I’m here being a supportive friend, what are you doing here?” He asked.
“Trying to find investors for my company,” you said and he nodded, not acting surprised at all.
“You were always the smart one between the two of us,” he said and you smiled.
Another guy walked over to Andrei, slapping his hand on his shoulder, “Hey man, just let me do one more round and we can leave.”
Turning to you, the man took in your appearance appreciatively and Andrei stiffened next to him.
“And who might this be?” He asked, holding out his hand to you. You shook it, amused.
“Y/n Y/l/n,” you introduced and his eyes widened.
“From Teva?” he asked, and you nodded, surprised. "I'm a big fan of your guys’ tech. I talked to Jenna earlier and am going to meet up with her this week for a demo. You are incredibly impressive.”
Blushing you thanked him and Andrei frowned, not liking the interaction.
“Y/n is one of my childhood friends,” Andrei said, joining the conversation, and his friend looked back at you before smirking knowingly.
“Ah yes, you’ve mentioned her before,” he said and Andrei’s face reddened. You shot him a curious look before noticing Jenna waving at you from across the room.
“I have to go, but it was good to see you, Dre. My number is still the same, so let’s catch up soon,” you said, and he nodded, watching you walk toward your friend.
“I can see why you never got over her,” Jack said, watching you shamelessly as you left. Andrei just shoved him as a response.
——————————————————————————
AI: are you free for dinner tomorrow? Practice ends earlier Y/N: that works for me, where? AI: want to just come to my place? I was thinking we could make that teriyaki chicken thing we always used to make Y/N: that sounds amazing, i’ll be there around 6 :30
After work, you stopped by your apartment to change into a comfy pair of leggings and long-sleeve Bengals shirt before entering his address into your GPS. Andrei met you outside and smiled at you as you pulled in.
Walking over to him, you wrapped your arms around to hug him in greeting, sighing as he held you to him and your heart fluttered, just like old times. You knew it was wishful thinking that your crush on him back in the day wouldn’t come back. And now here he was in front of you, twice as attractive as he used to be.
"Come on in," Andrei said, his hand resting lightly on your lower back as he guided you inside. The apartment was spacious and modern, with floor-to-ceiling windows offering a stunning view of the city skyline.
"Nice place," you commented, taking it all in.
"Thanks," he replied, a hint of shyness in his voice. "Make yourself at home. I'll grab us some drinks."
You settled onto the plush couch, watching as Andrei moved around the kitchen with practiced ease. He returned with two glasses of white wine, handing one to you before sitting down beside you.
"So," he began, his eyes twinkling, "tell me everything I've missed in the last five years."
You laughed, launching into stories about your startup, successes and failures, and the whirlwind your life had become. Andrei listened intently, commenting occasionally, a small smile on his face as he took you in.
Out of breath you took a drink at the same time as you heard his stomach growl.
“Why don’t we get started on dinner while you tell me everything that I missed in the last five years,” you suggested and he quickly agreed.
Working on the sauce and chicken, you listened to him tell you about Princeton and then getting drafted to the Bengals. You asked a million questions, all that he answered happily and it began to feel like the two of you had never been apart in the first place.
“Remember that time our jet ski died and we were stranded for a couple of hours,” you said, before taking another bite of the dinner.
“How could I forget?” He joked. “I was freaking out, and you were floating on your back the whole time, telling me that I just needed to ‘be one with the water.’”
You laughed, reminiscing on the memory, remembering a bunch more like it.
“You always kept me calm,” he said softly, looking deep into your eyes. You felt a shift in the atmosphere. “I think it’s what I’ve missed most about you these past years. I definitely could have used you.”
“You are a star, Dre; you didn’t need me,” you said, giving him a small smile. He looked away, contemplating. "What’s on your mind?”
“It’s hard sometimes,” he admitted. “I feel like the whole world is on my shoulders, and I’m one bad game away from losing it all.”
He wasn’t looking at you as he said this; instead, he picked at his nails, an old habit you see that he still hasn’t broken. You took his hand in yours, squeezing gently.
“Remember that game senior year, where you fumbled twice and had zero catches,” you said and he met your eyes, giving you an annoyed look.
“I’d love to see where you are going with this,” he said and you rolled your eyes.
“It was the worst game I’d ever seen you play. And then you showed up for the next game and had 300 hundred receiving yards and three touchdowns. I know you, Dre; one game could never define you.”
Andrei's eyes softened as he looked at you, a mix of gratitude and something deeper swirling in their depths. He squeezed your hand back, his thumb gently stroking your skin.
"You always knew exactly what to say," he murmured. "God, I've missed you."
The air between you crackled with unspoken tension. You were acutely aware of how close you were sitting, how his knee was just barely brushing against yours. Your heart raced as you realized just how much you had missed him too - his laugh, his unwavering support, the way he made you feel seen and understood.
"I've missed you too," you whispered, your voice barely audible.
Andrei's gaze dropped to your lips for a brief moment before meeting your eyes again. He leaned in slightly, giving you the chance to pull away if you wanted but you didn’t. Closing your eyes, you waited for his lips to touch yours but instead were jerked back to reality with the sound of your phone.
Looking at the screen, you saw that it was Jenna calling.
“I’m sorry, I have to take this,” you said and he gave you a small smile, face flushed.
“Go ahead, I’ll clean up.”
———————————————————————
It had been a week since you had dinner at Andrei’s and neither of you had brought up the almost kiss. He’d been texting you every day, and there was a new flirty vibe that had you thinking that maybe he did feel the same way about you.
You weren’t thinking about any of that today as you were drowning in work. Someone had found a bug in the software, and you had spent the whole day trying to figure out a fix so that you could push a new patch.
By 8pm, you were emotionally drained and feeling like you were going insane, and after another failure, you simply burst into tears. And if things couldn’t get worse, your phone went off, and Andrei’s face came over the screen.
“Hello,” you said, voice cracking slightly.
“What’s wrong, angel? " he asked concerned, and the use of your childhood nickname made you cry even more. “Are you crying?”
“It’s fine,” you sniffled. “Just work.”
“It’s not fine, I’m coming to pick you up.”
“No, it’s okay.”
“I’ll be there in five,” he said tightly before hanging up.
Sighing, you gathered your stuff and texted Jenna that you were calling it a night as you were completely stuck. Andrei was leaning against his car as you walked out of the building, and your resolve started to crumble the second you saw him. His arms quickly wrapped around you, and you stepped into his touch, clinging onto his shirt.
“Shh,” he soothed. “You’re okay.”
He moved one of his hands into your hair, gently massaging your head and you tried to calm down.
“Sometimes I don’t know if this is all worth it,” you admitted, pulling back to look at him through your teary eyes.
Andrei's eyes softened as he looked at you, his hand coming up to gently wipe away your tears. "Hey, don't say that. You've worked so hard for this. One bad day doesn't negate everything you've accomplished."
You sniffled, leaning into his touch. "I know, it's just... sometimes it feels like too much."
"I get it," he said softly. "But you're not alone in this, okay? You've got people who care about you, who want to support you." His eyes bore into yours. "You've got me."
Your heart skipped a beat at his words. "Andrei..."
He pulled you close again, resting his chin on top of your head. "Come on, let's get out of here. I know just what you need."
Before you could protest, he was opening the passenger door for you. You climbed into his car, pulling the mirror down to wipe the mascara from under your eyes. The car ride was filled with comfortable silence, and you laughed as you saw where Andrei was pulling in.
“I haven’t been here in so long,” you admitted as Andrei got behind another car in the drive-thru of a Steak n’ Shake.
“Me either,” he said, shooting you a playful smile. “But it’s still a reflex to get you a peanut butter chocolate shake anytime I see a single tear on your pretty face.”
You blushed, putting your head into your hands. He grabbed one of your hands, forcing you to look at him.
“No more tears,” he said, and you rolled your eyes but smiled, repeating the phrase to him, just like you had countless times before.
He pulled out his wallet to pay for the shakes and the top of a photograph caught your attention.
“What’s that?” You asked curiously and he looked down to see what you were referring to before he started to stutter.
“Nothing,” he mumbled and you gave him a look. He let you take the wallet and you pulled out the picture. It was of the two of you when you were maybe 15 at the beach by your houses. Andrei’s arms were around you as he stood behind, both of you smiling widely at the camera.
“I love this picture,” you said. “I didn’t know you had a copy.”
“It reminds me of home,” he said, refusing to meet your eyes and you smiled softly to yourself. After handing you your shake, you directed him to your apartment and made the drive over. He followed you in, noting how much your place just felt like you. The apartment was small, but cozy and inviting. The walls were painted a soft cream color, decorated with vibrant paintings and colorful tapestries. The furniture was mismatched but fit perfectly, creating a warm and welcoming atmosphere.
He sank down on your couch as you dug around the remote, finally finding it and flipping on a Hallmark Christmas movie you had bookmarked.
“Are you serious?” He complained and you smiled widely at him.
“I’m the one upset, so I get to pick.”
He patted the space next to him and you sat down, leaning your head into his shoulder as he rested his arm behind you.
As the movie played, you felt yourself relaxing into Andrei's warmth. His fingers absently traced patterns on your shoulder, sending little shivers down your spine. You tried to focus on the cheesy plot unfolding on the screen, but your mind drifted to the man beside you.
"This is nice," you murmured, tilting your head to look up at him.
Andrei's eyes met yours, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Yeah, it is," he agreed. "Just like old times, huh?"
"Almost," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. There was something different now, an electric current running between you that hadn't been there before.
He shifted slightly, his face now inches from yours. "Angel," he breathed, his eyes searching yours. "I've been wanting to tell you something."
Your heart raced as you looked into his eyes, waiting.
“I didn’t know if life would bring us back together, but it did so I don’t want to waste any more time. I’ve been in love with you since we were ten years old.”
Your breath hitched as he kept going.
“Us losing touch was the worst thing that happened to me and I won’t let it happen again. Even if you don’t feel the same, now you know.”
He looked away as he said the last part, clearly stressed which made you giggle. His eyes snapped back to yours questioningly.
“Of course I love you Dre. I’d be insane not to love you,” you told him smiling.
He let out a short laugh before looking down at your lips again. This time, there was no interruption as Andrei leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. The kiss was soft at first, tentative, as if he couldn't believe this was really happening. But as you responded, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer, the kiss deepened, filled with years of pent-up longing and desire.
Andrei's hands found their way to your waist, holding you tight against him as he explored your mouth with his tongue. You sighed contentedly into the kiss, your fingers tangling in his hair. It felt like coming home, like everything in your life had been leading to this moment.
When you finally broke apart, both breathless, Andrei rested his forehead against yours. "I've wanted to do that for so long," he murmured, his eyes sparkling with joy.
You smiled, running your thumb along his jawline. “If only I knew being apart for five years would have made you confess, I would have left sooner.”
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