#like WAKE UP. i'm turning 27 this year that's the age my mother was pregnant with me and you bought your house!!

[stoertebeker]

The way my father has been unable to remember my exact age the last couple years and always estimates it quite a bit younger than I actually am is just soo funny to me

[ngocthiann]

Mon. Jan 30th, 2023

*que lofi hip hop radio on youtube*

| fear of dying alone...| I dreamt about my grandpa passing away the other day- confused me- you might say... How come? He passed away (2003). And how grandma is turning 90 this year... Afraid that when she comes back to US, will she remember me? will she want to come back and live with my mother? will my mother be there to help me like she say she will? or will she abandon me?

| perfect image...|

Coming to realization that I have nothing going on in my life... Everything I dreamt about having... A perfect life, being the perfect wife, and a perfect image and version of me... Already almost 30 and have nothing going. My image, my personality, my motivation and courage... Sometimes, I just wish I was born into wealth. Where I am not worried about when's the next thing to pay, when's the next thing is due, living paycheck to paycheck- consistent mind wanders of no financial stabilities. Sometimes, I wish I was as beautiful as the next upcoming next top model, I wish I was an ideal image of me- I wish I was able to see the beauty that I have already. | version of her...|

Having my mom with me finding out I was pregnant. (& Waking up to a negative test) Very very much mixed emotions... It gave me hope but it also gave me a scare of not knowing if I will be able to be finically, psychically, emotionally, ready to become one... I mean, nobody is ever ready when it comes to their first... But will I? I'm afraid of becoming a version of my mother... I'm afraid of giving birth to a human being and raising them like myself... me not knowing what to do in life at age 27... I don't want my children to feel what I feel and how I'm still so damn confused on life... LOST I should have a degree or something going on for my life. Value on my name where my kids don't have to worry about not having clothes on their backs and a roof over their head. The more I run away from her, the more I feel like I'm becoming her...