#like I want a totally empty gym where I can wander through the weight machines and figure out what sets I can build into a routine

[rimouskis]

I need more ways to incorporate discipline in my life. a lot of random factors mean very little is demanded of me in a variety of ways, and my historic lack of self-discipline evidently means I can't be relied upon

[sunkissedpages]

We’re Only Kidding Ourselves- Part Twenty-Three || Tom Holland x Reader

A/N: welcome to another episode of: this is how friends with benefits act right?? this is how two people who have zero feelings for each other totally interact right?? also big thank you to @parkerstylesperalta​, @summernykole​, and that one anon for teaching me about exercise because I’m fucking clueless :))

Prompt: Enemies to lovers au (from @marvelellie‘s 1k writing challenge!!)

Summary: You work as a production assistant for the Spider-Man: Far From Home crew, or rather as Tom Holland’s handler. The two of you don’t get along very well to say the least, but you won’t quit and he can’t fire you so you’re stuck with each other.

Warnings: swearing, angst, SMUT LIKE IT COMES OUT OF NOWHERE SMUT

What I listened to while writing: this noir playlist

Word Count: 3.7k

Series Masterlist

“Stay. Please.”

Tom’s hand was warm and the new context of his touch sent a shiver down your spine. It was intentional, yet hesitant. You looked back up into his eyes and saw a combination of longing and fear staring back at you. Whether he was afraid you wouldn’t agree, or that you would, you weren’t sure.

“Stay?” you repeated and saw him give you the tiniest nod. “Like a sleepover?”

Tom chuckled and shook his head. “Only you, dork.” His eyes crinkled with his smile when you laughed. “Is that a yes?”

You nodded back at him unsurely, but it was enough for him to lead you over to the bed by the hand he was still holding. When he plopped down on the left side you gave him a look.

“That’s my side,” you said with a pout, thinking back to all the mornings you woke up next to Tom in Venice on the left side of the bed, wondering why he’d bother to change the routine now.

“I forgot you were a control freak,” he groaned, rolling over dramatically.

“I can leave,” you threatened with a scowl, trying not to let his playful words get under your skin. Too many times had he said those exact words under his breath when he thought you were out of earshot all those months ago when you couldn’t stand the sight of each other. It was hard not to let them sting now even though he was teasing.

“No, darling come here,” he pleaded with wide eyes, knowing you were one to make good on your word.

You climbed onto the bed, your rightful side of the bed with a sigh. “You drive me insane,” you muttered.

“Thank you, love, you drive me quite mad as well,” he agreed with a cheeky grin, scooting closer to you on the bed.

“It wasn’t a compliment,” you snarled as Tom laughed and toppled you so that you were lying squished in his arms.

“Ow, my fucking arm,” you complained and yanked it out from underneath him.

“Sorry,” he apologized, shifting so that the two of you could lay on the mattress more comfortably. “This is new for us.”

That was for sure. With Tom’s arms wrapped around you, you were positive he could feel your heart pounding in your chest, just as you could feel his against your back. You relaxed slightly as he began to trace mindless shapes along your body, first on your hands, then along the exposed skin of your hips where your sweatshirt had ridden up.

Goosebumps followed his fingers as they moved along the curves of your skin at a slow, gentle pace. When he felt you finally relax into him he leaned up to kiss the corner of your mouth, taking you by surprise.

“I don’t think this is how sleepovers are supposed to go,” you joked. “I’m calling my mom.”

“Just shut up and let me hold you, dammit,” he sighed in exasperation and squeezed you tighter making you laugh like you hadn’t in a decade. You ignored the way your heart ached in your chest as you did.

Tom’s alarm was a familiar, yet unwelcome sound to wake up to. You groaned and stretched your arms out above your head, noticing that the two of you had moved apart during the night. That was okay with you. It made the night before easier to swallow, made it seem like a more distant memory.

You were now on your back, only half covered by the comforter with your legs tangled in the sheets. Tom was still fast asleep on his side, completely unaware of the blaring alarm still going off on his phone. You couldn’t really blame him, your heads had barely hit the pillows before having to get up again. Still, you wouldn’t have given up last night for any amount of sleep. You smiled thinking about it now and gave him a shove to wake him up, pulling the comforter back up around you, clutching it tightly as you watched Tom roll over and open his eyes slowly.

“Morning, love,” he said sleepily with a smile when he saw you hadn’t disappeared from his side yet.

“Morning, asshole,” you returned with a smirk. His smile faltered and he quirked an eyebrow. “You gonna turn off that alarm or am I going to have to throw your phone against a wall?”

“Haz always said you were such a morning person,” he grumbled, rolling over to turn his phone off and scroll through his messages.

“What time is it?” you asked, scooting closer to him underneath the covers.

“Six-thirty,” he replied and threw off the blankets to get up. “I told Harrison I’d go with him to the gym this morning, want to come?”

That was actually the last thing you wanted to do, you’d much rather curl up right where you were and fall back to sleep, but you felt yourself nodding and heard yourself say “sure” and when you saw Tom’s face light up you knew you couldn’t take it back.

“I just need to go to my room to change.”

“We’re already running late, just wear some of my clothes,” he insisted, already rifling through his suitcase for himself, “and you can change into yours when we get back.”

“But they’ll get all sweaty.”

He chuckled lightly and threw a t-shirt and pair of sweats at you.  “That’s usually what happens when you exercise, love. I don’t mind.”

“Are you sure?”

“I have loads of gray t-shirts, but if it really bothers you that much we can find a laundromat later.”

You shrugged and pulled the sweatshirt you were already wearing as pajamas over your head. You’d stopped feeling weird about changing in front of Tom by now, he’d seen you naked too many times for you to care.

When you looked back up Tom was pulling on a similar looking t-shirt, chuckling to himself.

“What?” you asked, feeling self-conscious all of the sudden.

He shook his head. “You think I’m afraid of a little sweat? After everything we’ve done together? Darling, my tongue has been-”

“Don’t finish that sentence, Thomas,” you warned, and tossed a pillow from the bed at him while trying to pull your pants up at the same time, missing completely. You felt heat prickling at the back of your neck at the thought of the memories that he’d been implying.

“Alright, alright.” He held up his hands in surrender. “Let’s go then, Harrison’s waiting for us.”

“Harry didn’t want to come?” you asked once you were in the elevator together.

“If we try and wake him up even ten minutes before we’re supposed to be on set we’ll never hear the end of it,” Tom explained. “He usually works out at night, if he works out,” he added.

“Should’ve gone with him,” you mumbled.

“What was that?” Tom asked

“Nothing,” you shook your head. “Happy to be here.”

He smiled. “It’ll be fun, I promise.”

“I’m holding you to that.”

The gym was small and surprisingly empty, except for Haz who was sitting on a bench attached to one of the machines scrolling through his phone.You noticed that the walls were lined with mirrors which you hated. You never understood the appeal of having to watch yourself work out from every single angle and it made it feel as if not only everyone else in the room was watching you exercise, but you were too. It made you want to be invisible.

“Took you long enough,” Harrison said without looking up from his phone.

“Blame y/n.”

Haz jerked his head up at your name and noticed you standing next to his best friend for the first time, wearing baggy clothes and looking completely out of place.

You smacked Tom’s shoulder. “You’re the one who didn’t wake up to your alarm, jerk.” You bit your lip when you realized you’d completely given away the fact that you’d spent the night with Tom- that was if you wearing his clothes hadn’t tipped Harrison off already.

He didn’t comment, but you could tell by his expression that he thought it was a bad idea, and he wasn’t wrong.

“You’re both late,” he said matter-of-factly, standing and slipping his phone in the pocket of his shorts. “Glad you could join us, y/n.”

“Thanks, I don’t really know what I’m getting myself into,” you said nervously.

“We’ll take it easy on you,” Tom assured you.

“And who said that’s what I wanted?” you accused.

Tom stuttered. “I-I’m sorry I just-”

“I’m just kidding, please do,” you relented with a soft smile. “But you shouldn’t assume.”

“Noted.”

“What do you guys want to start with?” Harrison asked as he cracked his knuckles.

“Why don’t we do some rotations since there are three of us?” Tom suggested.

The way the boys set up the rotations were so that one person would do a burpee/squat combo, one person would do crunches, and one person would do weights and then you all would switch.

The three of you stretched first, following Harrison’s lead as he did toe-touches and windmills. You tried not to look at yourself in the mirror as you failed to reach your toes from the sitting position and caught Tom’s eye in the reflection, sending him a wink before focusing back in on Harrison.

You started on burpees and squats and Tom taught you the proper form for both, watching on even after you got the hang of it. He insisted it was to make sure you were using safe technique, but he let his eyes wander.

“Tell me, how much does ‘safe technique’ have to do with my ass?” you asked, wondering if he’d only picked squats for this exact reason.

“At least forty-two percent,” Tom said with a shit-eating grin.

“I’m wearing baggy sweatpants,” you said shaking your head.

“Yeah, and they’re my baggy sweatpants,” he whispered hotly.

You did another rep and shook your head again. “Do you ever burn out?”

“I dunno, wanna test it?”

“If you two don’t mind, I’d really like to keep my breakfast down as I work out.”

“Sorry Harrison,” you apologized, hoping the flush of embarrassment would be hidden underneath the flush already present from working out.

“All I’m saying is you better not look at my ass when it’s my turn for that rotation, Tom,” Harrison warned making you laugh.

Tom rolled his eyes. “Come off it, mate.”

You did crunches next, which you didn’t need any help with. You were definitely slower than Haz, who had been doing them before you, but you kept up a good pace, and only slowed a little bit as the time ran out. You learned the technique for handheld weights last, which Tom helped you with before going to do crunches at his own rotation.

He was impressed at how much you could lift since you were a beginner, but you explained that you had to carry a lot of boxes and things around set and that over time it’d started to get easier.

When the timer on Harrison’s phone went off you immediately jogged over to the water cooler and chugged three of the tiny cups, wanting more but holding yourself back.

“Only three more times around!” Tom cheered enthusiastically.

“You mean we have to do it again?” you panted and narrowed your eyes at him.

“Yep, three more times!”

“I hate you.”

Harrison laughed. “Come on y/n you can do it.”

“But I don’t want to!”

You couldn’t even enjoy watching Tom do his burpees as you struggled to do crunches the second time around because of the combination of anger and misery coursing through your veins. No wonder you never worked out.

++

“Fuck y/n I’m going to cum,” Tom cursed as you bobbed up and down on his cock, one hand on his hip, the other holding your hair back.

You felt your eyes go wide as his stomach muscles tensed and pulled off of him with a pop. “Not in my mouth!”

“What the fuck?” Tom hissed, eyes panicked, abs clenching harshly as he fought to hold off the inevitable. He took hold of his cock in his own hand and gave you an alarmed look. “Where am I supposed to-”

“Um, here,” you yanked Harrison’s yellow sweatshirt and your t-shirt off in one go, throwing it up behind him on the bed so that you were only in your bra. “Cum on my chest.”

Tom didn’t need to be told twice and came finally in spurts all over your your chest with horrible aim, having no regard for your bra. He let a string of profanities leave his lips as he pumped himself through it. His head fell back on the pillows in relief as he came down from his high, breathing hard.

“What the fuck was that?” he asked.

“Sorry, I’m still kind of nauseous from working out earlier,” you apologized and collapsed on Tom, laying your head on his hip and breathing rather hard yourself.

Tom couldn’t help but laugh at that, carding his hands through your hair absentmindedly. “Loser.”

“Hey, give me a break, Spider-Man, I’m an amateur.”

“Are you sore yet?”

“Everything hurts,” you groaned, head bouncing as Tom laughed. “Moving stuff around on set all day didn’t help.”

“I’m sorry love, want me to help you relax a little?”

“And how are you going to do that?” you asked cheekily, sitting up a little to look into his eyes.

“I have a few ideas,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows at you. “Might involve repaying the favor you just did for me?”

“I’m definitely interested, but let me clean up first.”

You pushed yourself up and off the bed and walked to the bathroom where you turned on the sink and waited for the water to warm. You sighed as you unclipped your bra, thinking about how much of a bitch those stains were going to be to get out later. You wet a washcloth and cleaned yourself off, giving yourself a onceover in the mirror.

Your hair was a mess, eyes a little red, and eyes dark with want. You smirked at yourself. Who were you? Having casual sex and actually enjoying it? You never would’ve imagined it for yourself, yet here you were about to (fingers crossed) get eaten out by your boss for the ??? time this week.

You decided you might as well take off your jeans since you were already shirtless just to make everything easier so you peeled them off your legs along with your panties leaving you completely naked. You knew Tom would appreciate it.  

You made your way out of the bathroom with what you were hoping was more of a sultry walk than a sore one, but stopped when you saw Tom looking guilty, bottom lip pulled between his teeth anxiously.

“I know that look,” you sighed. “What is it?”

“I forgot, I’m meant to have a livestream on instagram about the film in three minutes.”

“That wasn’t on your schedule.”

“I know, Jake asked me to switch mine with his because he had some meetings or something and I forgot to tell you.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you asked, crossing your arms over your chest in frustration. You knew you probably looked ridiculous standing like that completely naked in the middle of his hotel room, but you didn’t care.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry y/n. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“Whatever, just put some pants on,” you muttered gesturing to his naked lower half.

“They’ll only see my face,” he protested.

“Yeah, and I’m sure Marvel will love when you accidentally flip the camera around in the middle of the stream and show the entire world your dick.”

“You’re right, you’re right,” Tom admitted and rolled over to grab a pair of sweatpants off the floor before pulling them loosely onto his hips. You made for your clothes on the bed, but Tom put out his hand to stop you. “Wait, don’t leave! It won’t be long, I swear.”

You rolled your eyes and plucked a big t-shirt from the top of Tom’s suitcase to wear in the meantime, watching as he got situated on the bed.

“Just, uh, sit there and don’t say anything.”

“Don’t worry, I know how to keep my mouth shut,” you quipped back, wondering why you’d let him convince you to stay so easily.

Tom took a deep breath and pulled his phone out, fingers trembling and it hit you how nervous he was.

“Hey, Tom?” you called over from you chair in the corner. “You’ve got this. It’ll be great.”

“Thanks,” he said and took another deep breath, his thumb hovering over the screen.

You opened up your own instagram so that you could monitor the comments and pressed the little pink icon that popped up when Tom started his live.

“Hi guys, hope you’re all having a fantastic day! I’m in New York right now, on the set of Spider-Man: Far From Home, well not really on set, I’m in my hotel room right now, but you know what I mean.” He laughed and cleared his throat before continuing. “So anyway, we’re in New York City filming the last little bit and it’s been loads of fun! Getting to know everybody on set and seeing all of you guys has been so amazing! It’s really been the best time of my life.”

He continued to talk about the movie and how thankful he was for the experience but the last little bit stuck with you. I mean they were all the words he was supposed to say, but you stopped to wonder if he really meant them.

The best time of his life? Had it been the best time of yours? Your immediate instinct told you no, reminding you of how miserable you were every morning back in London, how many shitty situations you’d gotten yourself into, how many nights you spent crying on this stupid trip. But another, quieter part of you whispered about the smaller moments spent laughing with Zendaya at a cafe in Prague, sword fighting Harrison with baguettes from craft services, and of course all the little stolen moments you had with Tom. It felt like you were living on borrowed time when you were with him, and neither of you spoke your feelings aloud, but the memories you already had with him? They were yours to keep.

You realized you hadn’t been paying attention to the comments and tuned back in. Scrolling back through some of the comments to see what you’d missed.

“So I’m here to answer some of your questions about the film, I can’t go into too much detail of course, but uh yeah just hit me with them.” Tom paused for a second as the questions rolled in, trying to pick a good one. “How’s Jacob?” He smiled. “He’s great, he’s really good. Getting to work with one of my best friends is the absolute best. I can’t say enough good things about the guy, and I’m not just being nice because I know he’s watching!” He winked at the screen and scrolled through the comments some more. “Harry stop asking questions you’re with me all the time.”

Tom had been going on for over ten minutes and your patience was beginning to thin. When he started going off on a tangent about and inside joke between him and Jake Gyllenhaal you said fuck it and sent him a text that you were getting in the shower. He got the notification on his phone, but his eyes still flicked in your direction when you got up.

You knew he’d be pissed, but your chest was still sticky as was your hair, and you figured you might as well just finish yourself off since he obviously wasn’t going to do it. The shower was quiet enough not to be heard over the microphone of Tom’s phone so the only real challenge was going to be keeping yourself quiet. You waited a few minutes under the warm water just to see if he’d wrap things up and join you, but when he didn’t you took matters into your own hands, literally.

You’d barely touched yourself when your phone buzzed on the counter. You froze, waiting for it to stop, but as soon as it did it started buzzing again. The third time it started buzzing you threw up your hands and gave in, figuring whatever it was must be important if they kept trying to call you. You shook your hand dry and reached for your phone, catching it on the last ring.

“What Harrison?” you snapped into the phone after seeing his picture pop up on your screen. You instantly regretted how harsh you sounded.

“Are you in the shower?” he asked sounding confused by the running water in the background.

You bit back a curse and turned the water off, grabbing a towel from the shelf to dry yourself off. “I was, but you called me like three times in a row so I figured whatever it must be was important enough to cut it short. Why are you calling me?”

“I sent you a link to a tweet, you need to look at it immediately. I don’t know if anyone else knows yet, but it’s kind of blowing up so if they don’t already, they will soon.”

“Hold on, I’ll check it out. Will you stay on the line?”

“Yeah sure.”

Harrison’s end of the phone was quiet as he waited for you to look at the tweet. You clicked the link in the text he sent you which opened a tweet with two pictures. The caption was just ‘?????’ which didn’t make any sense until you looked at the pictures.

The first was a zoomed in aerial picture from set that looked like it had been clipped from one of Harry’s drone videos. You spotted yourself easily amongst the other crew members even though your back was turned because you were wearing Harrison’s yellow sweatshirt with the hood up. You swiped in confusion over to the second picture and it all clicked. It was a picture from Tom’s livestream, zoomed into something in the corner and almost so grainy you couldn’t tell what it was, but it was just clear enough to be able to tell that it was Harrison’s sweatshirt balled up with your t-shirt from earlier that Tom had neglected to move out of frame.

“Well shit.”

I know I say this a lot, but I have mixed feelings about this part anyway lmk what you think I always appreciate feedback!!

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