#like I said I don't think this is likely but apocalyptic senior year or something similar is sitting in the back of my mind

[plate2]

Honestly I'm thinking and this season of dimension 20 has so many plot lines that are all needing to be tied up fairly quickly. It makes me a little concerned for the finale in terms of how rushed it may feel or how little pc-pc or pc-npc interaction there may be. But I am wondering, right-

There's so much to do. They're in their junior year, and we're hopefully presuming there will be a senior year. Some of the combats so far (ex. Night Yorb, rage mall, grix) have happened with some kind of help throughout it (the curse, Connor counterspell, the vulture king) and they end up succeeding (at least partially because of it). In the finale, it's very very reasonable that they get through it and everything works out.

BUT what if it doesn't. What if it starts going well and then drops like those other combats have gone. What if there's no kind of help this time. What if something actually goes terribly dangerously wrong and they can't fix it. What if senior year has a continuation of the same very intruiging plot?

This is mainly just ramblings before the finale episodes (and I don't think this will likely happen) but I am thinking about it. I'm thinking very much about it

[weabooweedwitch]

I apologize if this advice is unwanted, but have you tried a different form of therapy?

I have the same issue with therapy. Regular CBT/talk therapy does not help me at all, if anything it makes me worse.

Eventually I got refered to a different type of therapy, DBT, and the differences were astounding. I found that one to be more practical in every day life.

I'm sorry your going though stuff right now, and regardless I do hope things start looking up for you soon. Please remember to take the rest u need because if you don't, your body will take it for you ❤️

To try and put it politely (because every other response I've tried to type up prior to this one got way too personal and long and tmi) I've been in a lot of therapies and several inpatient hospitalizations and different medications and doctors over at least 10 years now and quite frankly at this point im just pretty exhausted by the entire process of trying to get help and I've basically just accepted death is inevitable

There's I guess another avenue I have yet to pursue and it was that I was SUPPOSED TO be assessed for emotional regulation issues, to see if there's just literally a biological component needing specific medication, if im literally just broken up there somewhere and it just takes a specific tweaking, but. That never happened. I never got that call and I stopped seeing my psych and taking my meds anyways. The funny thing is one reason I stopped taking my mwds was to go back to drinking constantly but ive been too depressed to do that too 🙃 but thats a good thing because I don't need alcoholism right now and my weight amd sugar intake is high enough

Im going to be completely honest and say MAYBE I would've had a chance without climate change! But the more and more I think about that the more I realize that even IF I made it to 2050 that basically everything will be going to shit and being apocalyptic levels of bad before I'll have the grace to die of old age, and that's IF I can afford some kind of senior care cause I sure as fuck won't have a family or anything! Every angle I look at it, it's all for nothing! It's all bullshit! How are we going to solve climate change when we never even solved racism and homophobia and let's be real slavery never ended in many parts of the world so

Yeah we're all going to die!!!!! so it's kind of like. I'm just. Bitter at this point. I'm hateful and miserable and my best years are behind me and even after the surgery my body is still needimg other procedures and is fucked up cause I had untreated disability for too many years and I'm just supposed to keep getting up out of bed and going to work for a paycheck that will never be enough so I just spend everything I have and my only solace at this point is that at least when the world ends and we all die that the people who ruined this world and made my life miserable are dying too because we aren't even remotely close to having the technology to live in outer space or live on another planet yet

so. Yeah. It's not exactly unwanted advice and I appreciate the sentiment and intention but I think I am just so absolutely far far far beyond the point of therapy at this point and that's why my mom keeps threatening to admit me to a hospital haha 🤦‍♀️

But all that scary stuff being said i am just. Trying to take it easy the best I can. Thats kinda one reason I've been going a little crazy with the pokemon cards which ill make more posts about, because at this point im just trying to seek out something that makes me happy that isn't uh tha probably unsafe amount of weed I'm consuming every single day without any break whatsoever