#like I know with a 99.9% certainty that the answer is | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

xoxorealitygalore · 7 days ago

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Plan B 4

Jey Uso x Afro-Brazilian OC

Summary: In her thirties and single after a breakup, Hamisa decides she wants to become a mother, despite her friends' and family's objections. Unable to wait any longer, she chooses to have a baby on her own. However, she unknowingly ends up using her ex-boyfriend sperm after he drunkenly swapped her donor’s sample for his own. As Hamisa raises her child, she starts noticing striking similarities between her ex-boyfriend and her baby, leading to questions about the true origins of her child's conception.

Plan B Masterlist

Taglist: @xbriexx @christinabae @blackchickinthedesert @princess-saki1 @skyesthebomb @raya-hunter01 @theusotwinzcom @yana3sworld

Joshua’s hand trembled as he held the envelope, the heavy weight of uncertainty pressing against his chest. It had been three long days since he submitted his DNA test, seeking the truth he wasn’t quite ready to face. The envelope before him, with the crisp official stamp of DNA Diagnostics Center (DDC), seemed to taunt him with its potential to change everything. He had spent the past few days replaying the possibilities in his mind, but he already knew, deep down, what the answer would be.

His thoughts drifted to Jhream, the eight-month-old baby girl whose tiny face had stolen his heart at first sight. She had come into his life under unexpected circumstances, and now, a part of him was bracing for confirmation of his fatherhood. Despite his certainty, the paper in his hand felt like a lifeline that could either confirm his role in her life or pull it away entirely. He had always suspected that the baby’s striking features mirrored his own, from the dark curls that framed her face to the sharp glint in her eyes that reminded him so much of his own. But confirmation, that solid, irrefutable truth was what he needed now.

His mind buzzed with an unnerving cocktail of emotions: anxiety, excitement, and fear. He had to open it. He had to know. Without wasting another moment, he tore open the envelope, his fingers running over the cold, official seal like an anchor holding him in place. As he unfolded the paper, his breath hitched.

There it was, in black-and-white: the statement from DDC. It was not an exclusion; it was confirmation. “The alleged father is not excluded as the biological father of the tested child,” it read. “There is a 99.9 percent probability that Joshua S. Fatu is the biological father of Jhream M. Woo.” A wave of overwhelming relief and excitement surged through him, settling deep in his chest like a comfort he hadn’t even known he needed. His heart raced, and a smile tugged at his lips. He was her father. It was official.

With a new burst of energy, he grabbed his phone and dialed Hamisa’s number. The phone rang once, then twice, before she answered. Before she could say a word, Joshua’s voice rushed through the phone, carrying an excitement he couldn’t contain.

“Hamisa, you need to change her last name to Fatu,” he said, the words almost spilling out in his haste. There was no hesitation in his voice, no second-guessing the decision. This was it, he was all in.

On the other end of the line, Hamisa’s exasperated sigh could be heard before she burst into laughter. “You’re bold! I can't believe I have to share a child with you!” she screamed into the phone, her voice a mix of disbelief and amusement. Joshua could hear the frustration laced in her tone. She had never quite forgiven him for the circumstances that had brought them together, but they were bound by a common thread now. Jhream was their child.

Joshua’s smile faded slightly, replaced by a more serious expression. “I know you're upset, but we have to make this work for our daughter. We’re in this together now,” he said, his voice softer, more earnest. This was a turning point. There was no turning back now, not for him, not for Hamisa, and certainly not for Jhream.

But before he could say more, there was a click. Hamisa had hung up. Joshua chuckled, a small, bemused laugh escaping his lips as he stared at his phone. As he expected, a message from Hamisa popped up almost immediately. It was short, witty, and just a touch sarcastic: Jhream Woo Fatu has a nice ring to it.

Joshua read the message and laughed again, shaking his head. It was as if the tension had momentarily dissolved, leaving only the playful exchange that seemed to define their relationship. Despite the rollercoaster of emotions that had come with the situation, there was a connection between them, one that would forever be tied to the little girl they had both brought into the world.

As he put his phone down, his thoughts shifted to his twin brother, Jonathan. The news had to be shared with him, too, he had been there through everything, the good and the bad. Jonathan, ever the supportive sibling, would want to know that the paternity test had confirmed what they both had suspected all along. Joshua tapped Jonathan’s number into his phone with a sense of urgency. The call rang twice before Jonathan answered.

“What’s up, man?” Jonathan’s voice was warm, full of that familiar tone of brotherly comfort that Joshua had come to rely on.

“I’m the father,” Joshua said, his voice steady, though the excitement was still apparent in his tone. “It’s official. I’m Jhream’s dad.”

Jonathan paused, a beat of silence hanging between them. Then, as if the words had sunk in, Jonathan’s voice came through, full of genuine happiness for his brother. “I’m happy for you, man. But let me tell you, this better be the last time you ever hijack somebody’s sperm and do some BS like this again.” Jonathan’s playful teasing followed by a chuckle made Joshua roll his eyes. Even as an adult, his twin brother was never short of words when it came to poking fun.

Joshua rolled his eyes in return, even though Jonathan couldn’t see him. “I was drunk,” Joshua muttered, shaking his head in mock disbelief at himself. There were no excuses for the situation, but in a way, it didn’t matter. What mattered now was that they had a daughter, his daughter. And that was all that mattered to him.

As Joshua sat there, leaning against the cold elevator wall, the weight of his decision finally began to settle in. This was his life now. But Joshua also knew that this was only the beginning. The road ahead would be complicated. The dynamics between him and Hamisa had always been tense, and now, with the added responsibility of parenthood, it was only going to get more complicated. He could already hear Hamisa’s voice in his head, accusing him of meddling too much, of not thinking things through, of being reckless in a way that only he could be. But as much as they clashed, they were bound by their daughter. And he was determined to make this work, for her.

He thought about his upbringing, how different it had been, how fractured his relationship with his father was. He didn’t want that for Jhream. He didn’t want her to grow up in a world where she wondered who her father was, or whether he cared. He would show her, day in and day out, that he was there. His past would not be hers.

After hanging up with Jonathan, Joshua stood up straighter, the weight of responsibility settling on his shoulders like a mantle. He had to be the man he had never quite figured out how to be, someone who was present, responsible, and most of all, reliable. For Jhream, he had to change. He had to become more than he had ever been, and there was no question in his mind that he was ready for the challenge.

His fingers brushed the edge of the envelope again, feeling the smooth paper against his skin. His life had just shifted. There was no going back. But despite the unknowns, despite the complexities that lay ahead, there was an undeniable certainty in his heart. He was her father, and nothing could change that.

uceyjucey 2h

Joshua scrolled through his phone in the quiet of the morning, the sun just beginning to pierce through the blinds. The notifications were relentless. His name and Hamisa’s were trending on social media. He had become accustomed to the digital frenzy that sometimes swirled around his life, but today was different.

The usual noise felt louder, more intrusive.

It wasn’t just him but Hamisa was caught in the web of scrutiny too, and it was all because of their daughter, Jhream. A photo he had posted hours ago, a simple one of his baby girl picking something off the floor, was the spark that set everything ablaze.

Joshua’s fingers hovered over the screen as he read the comments, some questioning the paternity of Jhream, others spewing venom about Hamisa. He didn’t care about the shots people took at him, he had weathered that for years. But when it came to the people he loved, his daughter, the woman he shared a child with, that was something entirely different. He couldn’t stand idly by while people trashed Hamisa or tried to cast doubt on the paternity of his child.

The article that had sparked the fire had been ridiculous, full of assumptions and idle speculation. It had suggested the most absurd scenarios, each more damaging than the last. Joshua wasn’t about to let them tarnish his family’s reputation. He posted a new photo of Jhream, one where you couldn’t quite see her face, but you could tell it was her, just barely.

A quiet statement of “this is my child,” it was enough to make the internet jump to conclusions, immediately speculating that Joshua was indeed the father, and just like that, the narrative was set.

Was it messy? Absolutely. Did he care? Not in the slightest. He had spent the last few months adjusting to his new role as a father, learning about the precious little girl who had come into his life and made everything brighter. He was protective of her, of Hamisa, and of their relationship. He would stand by them, no matter what the world had to say. No one was going to get away with dragging his family through the mud.

As he set his phone down, his screen buzzing again, he glanced across the room, his mind still racing. It was Hamisa calling. Her voice was sharp but familiar when he answered.

“Why would you do that?” she asked, sounding more tired than angry. “You couldn’t just ignore it, could you?”

Joshua let out a deep breath. He was prepared for this conversation. “Hamisa, that’s my daughter. I don’t care what the tabloids are saying, I wasn’t going to just let them insinuate anything about you or Jhream. You know I’m not going to stand by and let people disrespect my family.”

Hamisa fell silent for a moment. He could hear her breathing on the other end, the frustration settling into something softer. “I get it, I do. But you didn’t have to make it public like that.”

He wasn’t going to back down, though. “It wasn’t just public, it was necessary. You and Jhream are mine, and no one is going to try to rewrite that story. Not while I’m breathing.”

The quiet stretch between them felt like it lasted an eternity. Finally, Hamisa spoke again, her voice quieter. “I know. But still, you didn’t even let the ink dry on her name change before you started acting like this.”

Joshua chuckled softly. “I’m not going to apologize for claiming my own child.”

There was a pause on the line before she spoke again, a resigned chuckle escaping her lips. “Okay, okay. Just... don’t make it worse, alright? I’m already trying to handle everything on my end.”

Joshua couldn’t help the grin that tugged at his lips. “I’m just getting started. Jeyce is setting up a whole photoshoot for her right now. We're about to have a Daddy-Daughter photoshoot in here.”

“I can’t wait to see that,” Hamisa said, a laugh in her voice. “You’re ridiculous.”

Joshua hung up, but he wasn’t fazed by the tension in her words. This was his family, and he was committed to making sure the world knew exactly who they were. He turned back to the living room, his gaze settling on his daughter. She was sitting on the floor, babbling happily, her tiny hands swatting at her toys as she looked up at Jeyce, who was busy arranging the makeshift photoshoot setup. Joshua walked over, snapping a few pictures as he did.

Just as he was about to adjust the camera, the front door opened, and in walked his cousin Joe, followed by his twin brother, Jonathan. They both entered with the easy familiarity of family, grinning at the scene in front of them.

“Uce got him a daughter now, and he don’t know how to act,” Jonathan teased, smirking as he watched Joshua play with Jhream.

Joe chuckled, shaking his head. “Man, I thought Hamisa would’ve put up more of a fight before letting you have her like this. She’s a mama bear, you know?”

Joshua shrugged, his attention still on Jhream. “She knows how I am with my sons. Why wouldn’t she trust me with our daughter?”

Jhream let out a squeal, reaching out to Joshua. He scooped her up, holding her carefully in his arms, and both Joe and Jonathan smiled at the sight.

“Hi, niecey pooh,” Joe cooed, speaking to the baby in a baby voice. “You’re trending on Twitter because your big-headed Daddy had to make sure everyone knew you belonged to him.”

Jhream started babbling, furiously.

Joshua smirked at Joe. “I think she’s cursing you out, uce. She doesn’t like that you called her daddy’s head big when yours is even bigger.”

Jeyce, still standing off to the side, rolled his eyes. “All of your heads are big.”

Jonathan feigned offense. “I have you know that I have an average-sized head.”

Jeyce snickered. “All of you have big heads. It’s just a fact.”

As Joshua playfully bounced Jhream in his arms, she reached out toward Joe, making loud baby noises. Joe grinned and gently grabbed her, holding her close.

“She makes me want to have another one,” Joe remarked, his voice light and full of humor.

Joshua raised an eyebrow. “Five ain’t enough for you?”

Joe shrugged. “I think I got one more in me.”

“Yeah, sure,” Jonathan said, glancing at Joe. “One more, and watch you end up with triplets.”

The room erupted in laughter, but just as the mood lightened, Jeyce walked over and showed his father something on his phone. Joshua took a moment to read the headline of the article on the screen: Jhream’s birth certificate, obtained by PEOPLE, reveals Jey Uso listed as the father.

“Damn,” Jonathan muttered, looking over Joshua’s shoulder. “When did the name change happen?”

“Two days ago,” Joshua said, a hint of annoyance in his voice. “How did they get this stuff so quickly?”

“Who knows,” Jonathan replied, shaking his head. “People have ways of getting what they want.”

Jeyce, still looking at his phone, showed his dad the next part of the article, which read: Jhream Musa Woo Fatu was born on June 14, 2024, according to the birth certificate, at South Miami Hospital in Miami, Florida, at 6:14 a.m.

“Well, damn,” Joe muttered. “That’s some serious info right there. How did they get it?”

Joshua shook his head. “I don’t know. But that’s not the point. What’s important is that people know that Jhream is mine, and I’m not going to let anyone say otherwise.”

Jonathan raised an eyebrow. “How does Hamisa feel about you claiming her so publicly?”

“I think she has mixed feelings about it,” Joshua admitted. “She’s just trying to keep things calm, and I get that. But this isn’t something I can just ignore.”

Joe nodded. “Understandable, but you’re right. It’s better that the truth comes out now instead of later, you know?”

Joshua looked down at his daughter, who was now giggling and reaching for her toys again, oblivious to the storm brewing around her. “Yeah. I’m not going to let anyone question her. Not now, not ever.”

Jonathan cleared his throat, bringing them back to the present. “Anyway, moving on, Pam Pam and Trin are planning to throw Hamisa a birthday party on Saturday. Since her birthday’s on the 14th, and you know that's Valentine’s Day, they figured it’d be easier to do it on Saturday.”

Joshua smiled. “We’re going to spoil her. She deserves it.”

Jeyce, with a playful grin, piped up from the couch. “I got enough money for a Pandora charm bracelet.”

Joe chuckled. “Okay, nephew. Ice her out.”

Joshua laughed, shaking his head.

Liked by belmirawoo, itsmebayley, dreamdoll, and 2,102,623 others

hamisawoo Happy Birthday to my beautiful big sister, my Aquarius twin, the one who knows me better than anyone else!

I can’t even begin to put into words how much I cherish our bond, and today I’m especially reflecting on all the love, laughter, and memories we’ve shared over the years. From childhood to adulthood, you’ve been my constant, always there through every high, every low, and every crazy dream I’ve had. I will never take for granted how you’ve supported me through it all.

I’ll never forget the joy of being pregnant at the same time as you. It was such a magical experience to go through that journey together. The excitement, the struggles, and the shared moments of wonder, it felt like we were living parallel lives in the best possible way. Now, seeing our girls, I can only hope that they grow up with the same kind of bond we share. The kind that is unbreakable, deep, and full of unconditional love.

Thank you, xuxuzinho, for being my rock. For believing in me, supporting my wildest goals, and accepting my craziness with open arms. You have always been my biggest cheerleader, and I am forever grateful.

Today is all about celebrating you, your heart, your spirit, and the amazing woman you are. May this year bring you as much happiness, love, and joy as you’ve brought into my life. Happy Birthday, @belmirawoo. I love you to the moon and back, forever and always.

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Hamisa stood in awe of the scene before her, her heart swelling with pride. She had been planning this day for weeks, and it was finally coming to life. The backyard, which on any other day would have been a humble stretch of grass, was now transformed into a dazzling, extravagant celebration fit for royalty. It was her older sister Belmira’s 38th birthday, and Hamisa was determined to make it an unforgettable super-luxe, super-orange-themed soirée that would leave everyone talking for years to come.

Guests were welcomed through a grand entrance beneath a glowing neon sign that read “BELMIRA” in a giant, eye-catching orange scrawl. The sign pulsed with energy, lighting up the evening air like an electric heartbeat. It was impossible to ignore. As the guests walked beneath it, they were immediately transported into a world that felt like a dream. The scene that awaited them was nothing short of magical.

The entire backyard had been transformed into a lavish oasis where every detail was bathed in shades of orange, the birthday girl's favorite color. Strings of vibrant orange flowers cascaded from the ceiling like a floral chandelier, adding a touch of whimsy to the atmosphere.

The flowers hung over an array of plush chairs and couches, all dressed in throw pillows and blankets in varying hues of orange. The air was filled with the sweet scent of blossoms, mingling perfectly with the warm, inviting aroma of the gourmet food stations that dotted the space.

The drinks were served in sleek orange cups emblazoned with "Belmira 38" in shimmering gold letters, while paper straws topped with glamorous selfies of Belmira herself added a playful touch to each beverage.

Nearby, neon signs flashed with witty quotes from Belmira, illuminating the space and reminding everyone of her signature humor and radiant personality. Each one seemed to reflect her, from the clever quips about life and love to the bold declarations of self-confidence. The atmosphere was electric, vibrant, exuberant, and undeniably Belmira.

The dancefloor was a light-up spectacle, the lights shifting in time with the rhythm of the music, calling guests to step up and show off their best moves. Everywhere Hamisa looked, she saw smiling faces, her family, friends, and loved ones all gathered to celebrate the incredible woman who had shaped so much of her life. But the true star of the night, of course, was Belmira, and Hamisa couldn’t help but beam with pride at the sight of her sister.

Belmira stood near the center of the party, her energy infectious as she chatted with friends and family, radiating a warmth that could light up an entire room. She wore a stunning dress that shimmered with every movement, the perfect balance of glamour and sophistication. Hamisa couldn’t help but admire her. Belmira was, without a doubt, the queen of the evening. And yet, even amid all the attention, Belmira never lost her sense of humor or her down-to-earth charm.

As Hamisa surveyed the scene, she noticed Jhream crawling along the floor, laughing, dancing, and babbling as if she were the life of the party. The sight of her daughter’s joyful squeals made Hamisa’s heart swell with love. Jhream was so full of life, a true delight to everyone around her. Hamisa’s gaze shifted back to her sister.

“I can't wait for Neusa to start crawling,” Belmira said, watching Jhream with a fond smile.

Hamisa chuckled softly. “Until she starts getting into everything in the house, then you’ll wish she wasn’t crawling anymore.”

As if on cue, Jhream let out a squeal of excitement, clapping her hands in delight. At that moment, Joshua walked in, his presence unmistakable as he approached the two sisters.

“Baby girl knows how to make her daddy feel special,” Joshua said with a grin, bending down to pick up Jhream, who immediately melted into his arms with a happy coo.

Hamisa watched them fondly, her eyes softening as she observed the bond between father and daughter. It wasn’t always easy to navigate the complexities of family dynamics, especially with Joshua, but for Jhream’s sake, they were all trying to make it work.

“Happy Birthday, sis,” Joshua said, handing Belmira a gift bag with a smile.

Belmira raised an eyebrow playfully, pretending to hesitate before accepting the bag. “I don’t know if I like you again just yet,” she teased, her voice dripping with playful sarcasm.

Hamisa rolled her eyes at the exchange. She knew that there was still some lingering tension within the family, especially between Joshua and some of the other relatives. But tonight was about celebrating Belmira, and they would all do their best to keep the peace.

“I gotta fight for my number one spot in the family again, I get it,” Joshua said, a teasing grin on his face.

“You were never number one, tell him, babe,” Belmira’s husband, Breno, chimed in with a mock glare. He had been married to Belmira for six years now.

“Now y’all both know y’all ain’t number one,” Caio, Hamisa’s older brother, added with a laugh. He always had a knack for stirring up fun chaos within the family.

“Do we like him again?” Carlacia, Breno’s ten-year-old daughter, asked, looking up at Joshua with a curious expression.

“He’s on probation,” Breno answered with a smirk, a playful warning in his voice.

“Thank you for the gift, Joshua,” Belmira said, finally accepting it with a gracious smile. She knew how to navigate the complexities of family, always keeping the atmosphere light and full of laughter, no matter the tensions.

Joshua smiled, his eyes softening as he watched Jhream rest her head on his shoulder, her small form relaxed and content.

“You’re welcome,” he replied, his voice warm.

Just as the moment seemed to settle into peaceful harmony, Jhream yawned, her little eyes closing as she drifted off to sleep in her father’s arms.

“Okay, let’s go put her down for a nap,” Hamisa said softly, her tone gentle as she reached for Joshua’s hand.

Joshua nodded, his smile never fading as he followed Hamisa inside the house. His gaze lingered on her, a teasing grin forming on his lips.

“Thank you, Jhream, for mommy’s new curves,” he said, his voice filled with lighthearted humor.

Hamisa shot him a look over her shoulder, rolling her eyes. “Shut up,” she muttered, her lips twitching as if she were trying not to smile.

Joshua chuckled, his gaze still lingering on her. “Once we put her down, you gotta show me how that ass moves,” he added, his voice low and playful.

Hamisa couldn’t help but laugh as she shook her head. “You’re insufferable.”

Together, they walked into the house, placing Jhream gently in Neusa’s crib, where the two babies would sleep side by side. The peaceful scene was a brief moment of calm before the whirlwind of the party resumed.

“Come on,” Joshua urged with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Let’s go back to the party.”

They stepped back out into the backyard, just as the bass of the music began to pulse through the air. The song “Deadly” by Stefflon Don and Victony blasted from the speakers, the upbeat rhythm filling the space with energy. Hamisa couldn’t resist. She moved to the beat, swaying and dancing against Joshua, the music becoming a thread that wove them together. He gripped her waist, his movements matching hers as they danced in perfect sync.

Hermione, Hamisa’s younger sister, couldn’t resist capturing the moment. She pulled out her phone, laughing as she pointed the camera at the couple. “Get this on film! Oh, they ain’t gonna believe this,” she said, her voice laced with amusement as she recorded them dancing together.

Hamisa and Joshua continued to move together, lost in the rhythm of the music, the moment feeling like a perfect blend of love, laughter, and family. The world outside their bubble seemed to fade, and for that brief moment, it was just the two of them, their connection as undeniable as the music that surrounded them.

Liked by marysemizanin, itsmebayley, uceyjucey, and 4,097,412 others

hamisawoo The birthday countdown begins! ✨🎉 This Valentine’s Day baby is turning 36, and I’m feeling all kinds of grateful for the journey that got me here. 🌹💖

35 was a year full of growth, transformation, and so many beautiful moments. I became a mom (a role I cherish deeply) and discovered a new level of self-love and acceptance that I never knew was possible. It’s amazing how life can surprise you when you open your heart to change and embrace every new chapter with open arms. 🌸

This past year taught me that it’s never too late to reinvent yourself, to pour into your own happiness, and to find joy in the everyday. 35 was kind to me, and now I’m ready to take on 36 with even more purpose, passion, and a whole lot of love for the person I’ve become. 💫

I can’t wait to see what this next chapter has in store. Here’s to more growth, more adventures, and more moments that make my heart full. Cheers to 36 and everything it will bring! 🎂💕

#BirthdayCountdown #ValentineBaby #SelfLove #NewBeginnings #GratefulHeart

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merakiaes · 5 years ago

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REQUEST GUIDELINES

Are you wondering why I haven’t answered your request? Or why it’s taking so long for me to post it? What kind of requests do I take, and which ones do I usually decline? You will get answers to those questions here!

MY ONLY RULE:

If you make a request, anonymous or not, you have to leave a comment on your fic. (Read more about why here.)

This means there should always be a minimum of one comment under every requested fic I post - if I see that this isn’t being followed, I’m going to stop writing requests. Simple as that.

With that said, don’t bother requesting if you’re not ready to make this exchange.

TO THINK ABOUT WHEN REQUESTING:

Don’t be too vague with your request. For example, a request asking for a fic where “the reader is a character x’s sister”, or "the reader is shy” or”short”, is not enough for me to go on. I need a scenario, a plot, an action, an endgame, or a dialogue prompt.

Contrary to the previous point; don’t make requests with too much detail or too long of a timeline, either. I don’t have the energy nor time to write requests that are spread out over eternity and that would end up being as long as a novel.

When requesting prompts from my prompt-lists, ALWAYS include the number and name of the list, not just the quote. The lists you can request for are the following:

Fluff Angst Smut Kiss Hug Common tropes

Don’t rush me if I’ve told you personally that I’m going to write your request, or if I’ve put your request on my WIP-post. I wouldn’t do that if I wasn’t planning on writing it, but it just might take some time seeing as I have other things going on in my life, as well, and I have to find a balance between everything.

Don’t get pissy if you request something and I kindly tell you that I don’t write that kind of thing, whatever it may be. I’ve had to deal with this a lot lately and it’s really annoying. All writers have their own, individual preferences, and that’s their right.

Keep in mind all that is written above, and feel free to send several requests if you want to guarantee that you get at least one of them done - some things are easier to write than others and I always appreciate having requests to pick from depending on my mood and current motivation.

WHY HAVEN’T I WRITTEN/REPLIED TO YOUR REQUEST YET?

You’ve rushed me too much. If you ask too many times “where your request is” or “when I’m going to write it”, I’ll probably lose interest completely and if that happens, the writing experience will not be fun for me, but rather a painful burden.

Your request is too big and/or would require a lot more time and work than the “smaller” requests and I don’t have that kind of time or energy. (If this is the case, it will probably be deleted.)

I’m not feeling inspired/motivated to write for this character and/or about this kind of situation at the moment. (If this is the case, it will be saved until later.)

Your request is too vague, or I’m simply not able to picture it in my head, and therefor can’t put it into words (If this is the case, it will be deleted.)

Your request is something that has already been done by someone else for this exact character, and I therefor don’t feel like putting time into writing it. (If this is the case, it will be deleted and if I can remember where I’ve seen this kind of content elsewhere, I will link it for you.)

Requests for the character or imagine-type (fluff, angst, smut etc.) is currently closed. (If this is the case, it will be saved until later.)

I’ve written something like this before. (If this is the case, I will answer the ask with a link to that particular one-shot.)

Your request is too detailed; so detailed that if I was to write it, it would just be like I copied your request and added some more words, which in my opinion is a huge waste of time. If you send requests that are too detailed, you’ve basically just written the entire thing yourself, and leave no reason for me to write it. (If this is the case, it will probably be deleted, on the rare occasion saved until later.)

(NOTE: I rarely delete requests, but rather save them until the time comes that I have the time and/or inspiration to write it. The only time I really delete them is on the rare occasion where the request is literally several asks long, aka too detailed, or if I just don’t feel it, but I almost always get some kind of idea.)

HAVE I PERSONALLY ANSWERED AND ACCEPTED YOUR REQUEST OR PUT YOUR REQUEST IN MY WIP-POST, BUT NOT YET WRITTEN IT?

Well, then, there’s a 99.9% certainty that I have simply forgotten it. If I answer your request but don’t post it within 2 weeks, send me a message or ask to remind me, because I’m a bit all over the place most of the time.

WHY DO I NOT ANSWER THE REQUESTS AT ONCE?

My mood and motivation changes in literally .0001 seconds. I might feel super-motivated to write for a certain character and/or idea when the request comes in, but by the time I actually have the time to write it, the motivation is often gone and has to be built back up in its own time.

When this (read above) happens, I feel really guilty for having said I’m going to write something, and then not doing it, which is why I choose to wait with answering the requests until I’m actually ready to write it.

It stresses me out really bad to know that people are waiting for several requests.

Sometimes I wholeheartedly think I’m going to be able to write a request, but then when it’s time, I don’t get any ideas whatsoever.

WHY DO I CHOSE TO DELETE THE REQUESTS I DON’T WANT TO WRITE RATHER THAN ANSWERING THEM AND SAYING THAT I WON’T DO THEM?

I don’t like disappointing people and get insanely guilty for even the smallest of things. I feel horrible every time I openly turn someone’s idea down.

Back when I read and requested fics rather than writing them, I felt super-embarrassed whenever someone would answer that they didn’t want to write my request, so I just avoid doing that in case someone else feels like that, too.

If you want a 100% certain answer on whether or not I’m going to write your request, send me a private message.

If you notice I haven’t answered your request in a very long time, you can just assume I’m either not going to write it or that I’m saving it for later, and send another one. Chances are high I will feel more motivated to write that one.

A FINAL NOTE TO ALL FANFIC-READERS

Comments mean the absolute WORLD to us writers. Like, I literally can’t stress enough how happy it makes us to see that someone commented on our work. While it is true that writers should be writing for themselves in first hand, we DO have days where the only reason we write is to get lifted up by the positive feedback. If you’re to shy to comment, I get it. I really do. But if you’re not, make it a habit to leave comments on the things you like, because you could really make someone’s day. And if you ARE too shy to comment, send some positivity anonymously in the asks.

And this is even more important if YOU’RE the one who requested the piece of fanfiction. While we might feel proud of our work, there’s nothing as discouraging than taking the time out of our personal life to write something for you, and then receiving no feedback at all. Again, you can do it anonymously in the asks. Just, say SOMETHING.

If you read all the way to the bottom, THANK YOU! Happy requesting!💕

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howlingwind · 6 years ago

Text

01. what’s your name/alias you go by ??

my name is jeff !! lmfao (i don’t let memes die) it’s not my real name but i’ve gone by cody on tumblr for a long time

02. what’s your age ??

twenty. jfc i’m old. but also apparently a fetus??

03. what’s your zodiac sign ??

aries, which couldn’t feel further from correct lmfao

04. what’s your ethnicity ??

uhh mostly italian & sicilian, but you could probably point to any white place in europe and i’ll have a little bit of that in me. i’m also 1/16th native american but it’s such a small amount and sadly i don’t even know which tribe to learn more about them.

05. what’s your nationality ??

‘murican

06. what’s your favorite band and/or musical artist ??

i’m super indecisive about everything, so it’s difficult for me to pick faves (as you’ll see in a sec) but… mac miller, post malone, johnny cash, eminem, tenacious d, colter wall, kehlani, bruno mars, snoop dogg, elvis presley, justin timberlake, sublime, the rolling stones, etc etc there’s probably a lot i’m forgetting tho. i like most types of music except country. well, modern country anyway.

07. what’s your dream job ??

uh, i don’t have one? i mean yeah, i’d love to be a writer, or game dev, or a narrative director on a game, or direct, write, or act in movies or television, but like…i could live without any of that stuff. i just want to make a decent living, be able to own a house, not completely hate my job. yknow, not a glamorous life but a good one.

08. what’s one place you would love to visit ??

idk there’s a lot of places i’d like to go, but i’d most like to visit alpha centauri, even tho that’ll never happen lol

09. what’s your favorite tv show ??

i can’t pick that! but i love a lot of shows. general hospital, lucifer, the 100, supernatural, stranger things, izombie, south park, legends of tomorrow, once upon a time, arrow (at times), dragon ball, big brother, riverdale, chilling adventures of sabrina, that 70′s show, the ranch, umm… i could probably keep listing forever.

10. what’s your favorite movie ??

hmmmm, again i’ve got a list but… joe dirt, the new guy, why him, the waterboy, 50 first dates, all the spider-man movies, thor ragnarok, man of steel, 21 jump street, 22 jump street ,and a fuckton more lol

11. what’s your favorite song ??

constantly in flux, but the current faves are — creep by radiohead, stay by post malone, no below by speedy ortiz, unshaken by d’angelo, cruel cruel world by willie nelson, wanksta by 50 cent, shooter by lil wayne & robin thicke, stressed out by 21 pilots, self care by mac miller (along with practically everything on his final album), and i will always, un-ironically love only in america by riff raff. he’s not the greatest ever but that song is hilarious and always puts me in a good mood.

12. what’s your favorite sport ??

can i say rocket league? lol

13. what’s your favorite food ??

pizza, unquestionably. cereal is a damn close second tho. or pot stickers. damn, i’m hungry…

14. what’s your favorite face claim to use ??

typically, i’ve always really liked using paul wesley, chris wood, and matt daddario. i’m using lindsey morgan for the first time now though, and i really like her as an fc too.

15. what’s your least favorite face claim ??

to use?? um pretty much any singer or model just bc their resources aren’t too great. i really didn’t enjoy using pete davidson as much as i thought i would, either lol

to see… uh probs emma roberts or andy biersack. emma for obvs reasons but also bc i once had a really bad experience with people using those fcs. idm people using whoever they feel like using tho.

16. what’s your favorite character of yours to play ?? which do you think you’re most like ??

oh man, uhh i really enjoy writing chrissy & theo. they both speak to me. but tbh i’m not much like any of my characters? i’m boring af so i tend not to make any like me lol. i am kinda like theo in the sense that i’m quiet, and really just try to be a good person. other than that i’m most like jason solely based on the fact we’re both human lol

17. what’s your sexuality ??

danversexual. attracted only to fictional danvers women, examples including carol, kara, and alex danvers.

lmfao but nah i’m just a boring straight boy. well, like 99.9% straight. jensen ackles makes me question shit.

18. what’s the last movie you saw in a cinema/theater ??

captain marvel (thanks to dani lol). only two months late but it was worth the experience haha.

19. what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had ??

thankfully i’ve never really hurt myself too terribly except for a broken wrist, but between the ages of 10-17 i’d occasionally hurt my back by sitting weird, usually in an attempt to play video games without the glasses i desperately needed lol. once when i was like 11 i laid belly down on the couch with my elbows up on the arm of it for like three hours, which messed me up for days, then a few other times i hurt myself, but another bad one when i was 17, i had my back curved while sitting and propping my laptop up on my knee, tried to move and literally just cried, crawled on the floor, and laid there all night until i forced myself to move in the morning. lol luckily it hasn’t happened since i lost a little weight.

20. what’s a random or interesting fact about you ??

uhm, nothing? i literally can’t think of one, i’m dull af. i uh.. i replaced my own cpu cooler once? lmfao

21. do you listen to music while you write ??

sometimes. a lot of time i just like the silence or ambient background noise, but if i’ve got a fitting playlist for the vibe of what i’m trying to write, i’ll use it!

22. are you a morning, day, evening, or night writer ??

i’m a never writer, apparently v___v but lol ideally a night writer, my best work is between the hours of 12am & 4am, but my sleeping schedule is so inconsistent, and so is my dad’s who spends literally every waking moment of his telling me different stuff he wants done, so it’s tough to hit that sweet spot. i write whenever i get a chance tho.

23. have you ever roleplayed intoxicated ??

lol nah i’ve never even had a drink. like what teenager doesn’t have a drink at some point?? i told you i’m lame.

24. what language or languages do you speak ??

english, barely. and assassin’s creed 2 taught me some italian swears. and ac: odyssey has had me occasionally dropping “malaka” bombs since the day i first played it haha.

25. how long have you roleplayed ??

officially, about 9 years. i started at 11 on myspace, rping dragon ball z stuff. but basically about 12 years, if you count how from the ages of 8-11 i’d put an anime pic up on my myspace, pretend i was older, and talk to roleplayers i didn’t realize were roleplayers lmfao.

26. favorite roleplay genre ??

i like pretty much anything, tbh. as long as it’s well thought out, has an interesting plot, or whatever. sometimes it doesn’t even need that, it just needs to catch my eye or line up with something i’m looking for. but yeah, supernatural, multi-fandom, sci-fi, romance, town rps, high school/college rps, anime rp (well, pokemon mostly), harry potter… i’ve done it all tbh and don’t particularly have a favorite.

27. one sound you hate & one you love ??

the sound of cotton stretching is the absolute worst thing to me. or scratching cotton. idk, it just sends chills up and down my spine and makes my hands feel weak lmfao. i’m weird. i really love the sound of rain, or fire crackling, or like “ambient” harp or ukulele music.

28. do you believe in ghosts ??

short answer, yes. long answer… i’m pretty sure i was friends with a ghost girl as a kid?? like no joke, even looking back at it through rational “adult” eyes, i’m still convinced. my fam moved into a new apartment, and pretty much right after that i started having dreams about a girl my age at the time (11-12). i’d never seen her before but the dreams would be like just conversations, like i was visiting a friend or something. i don’t remember them much, but i do remember the feeling of someone else in my room all the time, like you know how if someone else is around you just know even if you’re not looking at them? like that. there was even one night i was getting in bed, laid there a minute, and then i could have absolutely sworn somebody came in the room and sat down next to me on the bed because i felt the bed sink a little under their weight, but i looked and no one was there. i had a really vivid conversation/dream/thing that night. then a few nights later, for the first time since moving there i didn’t have one. the next morning my dad was really freaked out and said he fell asleep in the chair, but woke up and couldn’t breathe, and felt cold little hands over his mouth. he rationalized it as just waking up from a nightmare but i didn’t think so, so that night when i went to sleep and saw her i got really upset, yelled at her for it, and woke up right after. then i never saw or heard anything even remotely similar again, like she left or disappeared or something. it’s so weird, and i know how crazy it sounds, but yeah. don’t get me started on the topic of ghosts lmfao. THEN AGAIN, like a year later we had a carbon monoxide scare, but i really doubt the two were related because that would mean there was an entire year that we were breathing it in and the monitor didn’t do anything lol

29. do you believe in aliens ??

no alien story, thankfully, but it just makes no sense not to believe in them to me. like, we probably don’t have them on earth, and we’ve probably never encountered any, but it’s as close as you can get to a mathematical certainty that there’s some other life out there in the universe.

30. do you believe in true love ??

like, people who are just meant for each other, like romantic soulmates? nah not really. but i believe that two people can grow to truly love one another. whether it’s based off an initial attraction/infatuation, or a friendship, or both. i’d actually argue that’s a simple explanation of the biological science behind the feeling of love, but that’s an essay i’m not gonna write lol. but there’s apparently a lot of different types of love, so i guess “true love” is suggestive?

also slightly unrelated but i don’t-quite-believe-in-but-am-open-to-the-idea-of soulmates, not necessarily as two souls who are just meant for each other romantically and always end up together, but more as two or more souls that gravitate toward each other to make up the important people in each other’s lives, like family members, lovers, or close friends. but that’s more of a theoretical idea/possibility than an actual belief of mine.

31. do you hold grudges ??

um, yes. lol i try not to, and i really do want everyone to be their best/happiest selves, but some people man… some people can take a long walk off a short pier lmao

32. do you have any obsessions right now ??

PO KE MON GOTTA CATCH EM ALLLLL. also… life is strange (thanks dani lol). supernatural. stranger things (thanks dani & steph) the 100 / clexa / becho (thanks steph). lucifer. captain marvel (thanks dani). the song “creep” by radiohead and all its covers (tom ellis, haley reinhart, etc). cyberpunk 2077 (thanks dani). as you can see, i’m easily influenced lmfao.

33. do you drive & if so, have you ever been in a crash ??

nope i don’t drive, precisely because i’d definitely end up in a crash lol

34. do you like the smell of gasoline ??

uh that’s a big fat no from me, chief

35. do you prefer writing fluff, angst, or smut ??

i like it all equally, i think. i just really like writing & rp in general. i did run a smut rp once in the past tho. it gets old quick tbh and is the one of the three i can live without lol

36. are you in a relationship ??

bahahahahahahaha no.

37. grab the nearest book to you and turn to page 23, what is the 17the line ??

❝ “and why would that be?” kronos’s golden eyes glittered. ❞

— the last olympian by rick riordan.

38. put your playlist on shuffle and list the first four songs that pop up:

1. season of the witch – donovan 2. riot van – arctic monkeys 3. busta rhymes – qveen herby 4. der kommissar – after the fire

also i gotta cheat because it’s too perfect that the next two are

5. stay – mac miller (one of my favorites ever that i forgot to mention above) 6. only in america – riff raff (i just love this ok. the video is hilarious but tw james franco for those that don’t like him)

#pandemonium: task #// i’m always last 😔 lmfao #// also this is like a mile long idek why so if you actually read this?? you’re a saint lol #→ por queue

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reaganyouth · 5 years ago

Text

Merry Easter bitches and Passover alike. Now go say your lords prayer about forgiving your debtors as you get ready to pay your rent, cuz it sure ain’t a Happy one

It's Easter and no ones at church, sacrilegious ! Maybe now people can finally grow up and realize religion is useless today. Priests are more pedophile then they're clerical. They used to be "clerics" in the sense they told you what day it was, church bells gave the hour of day because no one had a watch or read your mail because few could read and write, let alone count. We're told to expect a new "normal". Trump promised us deaths would be down to zero and we'd be allowed out for Easter. Instead only promise he delivered on was handing out hard working taxpayers money to corporate interests,none to individuals expressing their individuality. Only Rothchilds and Hapsburgs are allowed that while Senator Loeffler

and her husband, who runs the NYSE insider trade away on our misery. Think those fucks have cabin fever stuck inside their cities like some bird locked in a cage,only able to be let out and fly around the room, but never really free. This shit is, was and doesn't have to be the new normal. There are pyramids in Egypt, the Bible tells the "greatest story ever told" and it's so good it's still going on now. Wage slavery and incarceration, just like being an indentured servant is plain ole slavery, and slavery is murder. The White House has it's Pyramid just like there's a pyramid in Trafalgar Square or the front yard of the Vatican. Yes that Vatican that's not doing mass 'live" but on line, so you can't eat Christ's body or even drink his blood. Go out because you're covered in Jesus' blood and that protects you? What does that Bible belter identify with,the centurion that stabs Jesus' side? Now to get us used to being traced. Greenbacks are gonna disappear and your dealer is gonna have your info in their app. Out of town? Then download the app steering you to your closet local drug dealing spot. but until then y om the rich and give to the poor, the last mafioso not state sanctioned, no not Kevin Costner or even Robin Hood, but Salvatore Guiliano.

Go watch Francis Ford Coppola's "The Sicilian" if you want to watch a really crappy movie about Guiliano with no mention of that fact. My source, a Sicilian who drove me all around Germany so he schooled me on that. Fuck google search. But rent is going to be due. So what's you gonna do? I know some landlords are smoking crack and drinking while their beautiful daughter stays with them because they're out of work. You can't model now. Thanks landlord of my band mate, for doing that and not asking her for rent. But self medicating ain't gonna help. 99% of Landlords shouldn't die but they shouldn't get paid either. they are not our Lord and it ain’t their land. PROPERTY IS THEFT !. I'm talking about motherfuckers who would charge every human to breath if the could control the air around us. And what to do with them ? I’d suggest the Yugoslavian communist model of having the children of the 1% kill their parents if they want to live in a just society as opposed to Pence wanting U.S. to follow the Italian model of stop counting the dead. Now some will say “But now's not the time! To talk about this”. Too busy in isolation ? Or “We got to come together in this tragedy” By not having enough time to think of an alternative to the new normal ? Or by respecting the dead by ignoring them ? One NYC cop dies it's a big deal and all over the news. When 25 die they're a statistic. As for my view of the police I align myself in the same train of thought as Pier Pasolini. Now today Anarchists have someone like Cody Rutledge Wilson

but where are the Leon Czolgosz's ? He treated McKinley presidential the same way Lincoln and JFK were treated presidential. If it wasn't for Leon then we never would have had the only president with the balls to threaten to sic the U. S Army on the Coal Barron's and not striking miners.

But that president spoke softly and carried a big stick while today our president talks shit and thought it okay for America to get sick. Sicker then any other country out there today. China sure knew how to play Trump like a fiddle and all they needed was the best chocolate cake Trump ever ate. Don’t snicker at communism, it’s still going strong in China where they didn’t have to renounce religion because they don’t believe in God. God is dead and if you don’t know now you know. Where is our Nestor Makhnov?

Allowing prosperity for all while repulsing the 1% and greedy neighbors like Russia and Germany. Was Nestor Maknov the leader? No, just the head amongst equals. And what happened after a president last wielded power like Teddy Rooselvelt,

Americas most popular president of all time, well by 99% of it’s citizens at his time? Betrayed by Taft which opened the door for the KKK's Woodrow Wilson to be president. He instituted the banking system, The Fed, that insures the rich get richer and the poor get murdered as he presided over WWI plus the Spanish Flu and got rid of many unwanteds. Kinda like what’s going on today. Now History ain’t as big as religion here in Amerikkka so I’ll offer up a sermon or two;

If I were asked to answer the following question: What is slavery? and I should answer in one word, It is murder!, my meaning would be understood at once. No extended argument would be required to show that the power to remove a man's mind, will, and personality, is the power of life and death, and that it makes a man a slave. It is murder. Why, then, to this other question: What is property? may I not likewise answer, It is robbery!, without the certainty of being misunderstood; the second proposition being no other than a transformation of the first?

— Pierre-Joseph Proudhon, What is Property?[I]

That was some new testimonial for y’all

Ending it a real creation story

The first man who, having enclosed a piece of ground, bethought himself of saying 'This is mine', and found people simple enough to believe him, was the real founder of civil society. From how many crimes, wars, and murders, from how many horrors and misfortunes might not any one have saved mankind, by pulling up the stakes, or filling up the ditch, and crying to his fellows: Beware of listening to this impostor; you are undone if you once forget that the fruits of the earth belong to us all, and the earth itself to nobody."

DO THEY OWE US A LIVING ?

OF COURSE THEY FUCKING DO !

Peace Unto Us All,.... well 99.9% of us that is ;-)

#reaganyouth #easter #religion #pierre joseph proudhon

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mirajens · 8 years ago

Text

sweet as cherry wine

rating: m pairing: mirajane/laxus, mirajane/erza, erza/jellal found: ff.n and ao3 note: this is 99.9% angst dedicated to mE

Mirajane

Erza comes to me when her life is in shambles.

Perhaps it’s leftover habit from when we were young and there was nothing for childhood trauma and teenage plight except for temporary warmth in each other’s arms. I used to not mind it so much. I’d thought it was just a necessity. Over time, it nurtured my fascination into something much more gripping. I see it in other people, how they see red hair and go glossy-eyed. Of course, I am different. I don’t think about how she doesn’t really have much of a selection. Or rather, a pleasant selection. Aside from me, there are men who are more muscle than brain, used to satisfy passing lust.

I want to believe that Erza likes me best.

Often I find myself wishing misery on her. When the nights are lonely, my imagination is most vivid. I dream of men breaking Erza so she will seek out relief in me. I think of them grabbing her beautiful scarlet hair and telling her cruel things so when they leave her with a broken spirit, I will be there and she will love me. She will climb into bed with me and shed tears over all that hurts. She will touch me and kiss me and try to find on my skin and flesh what those men can’t give her. I will be everything she needs.

Erza Scarlet will love me that night. She will love me until she finds someone else to love and I will spiral back into depraved thought, wishing wickedness on her until it comes true and she finds her way back to me again.

When Erza weeps in my arms, I inspect myself for remorse for wanting that unkindness on her, or even depending on the inevitability of it. Yet, I find none. I tell myself, Erza is where she belongs. It’s regrettable that she has to suffer to get here, but the end is all the same. I have to be content with that. I have to accept the certainty of such; even if she cries so hard my pillows are damp until the next evening.

I imagine this is how thieves don’t think about which poor creature they’re stealing from just so the bills get paid. When I see Erza cry, my relief is greater than my pity.

She looks up to me, her arms circled around my stomach, her tears wet on my chest. “Mira,” she says, hoarse and pitiful. “You’re good to me. You never hurt me. I love you.”

I want to tell her yes, of course, I’m the only one who loves you, Erza. I’ll wait until your flights of fancy expire and come crawling back like a kicked dog that never learns. Erza will never know that in my mind, it’s dark for her and I intend to be the only light.

Instead of answering, I kiss the crown of her head and stroke the red silk of her hair, thinking she might love me, but she loves a lot of people, too. We’re not nice people, yet that only affirms my belief that we belong to each other.

Laxus

I know a pattern when I see one.

I know that when Erza leaves, Mira is at her most vulnerable. It’s not something I can stomach most days. Mirajane, that pretty little thing, comes to my door with bloodshot eyes that look more livid than sad. Even when I feel badly for her, I want to close the door on her. Because every time I let her in, we end up fucking and it makes me feel crude.

I know I’m being used when I see it.

Mira asks if she can come in and I let her. She knows her way to the cabinet that houses liquor that have been there since before I was born, collected by my grandfather’s father, passed down to mine, then all left to me when my family ceased to consist of gravestones. Mira shows me a bottle that I don’t think she knows how to drink and asks me if we can help ourselves. She looks like a girl who’s trying to be more mature than she is. I almost tell her this, and this isn’t the first almost. This game she plays with Erza is foolish and long-running; something children do when they can find nothing more meaningful in their lives. And it’s funny, isn’t it, how I’m playing right into it? Like Mira, don’t I wait for the inevitable, too, and benefit a cheap, meaningless fuck out of it?

I hold my tongue. I’m not sure I even want to deal with Mira when she gets even more worked up by me saying so.

I tell her to bring it to the living room and I go make sandwiches. The whole thing is kind of funny, objectively. My palms are damp while I build bread, ham and cheese. I know we won’t eat it same as I know that she’ll only wait the polite ten minutes before insinuating what she really came here for. Something nauseating roils in my gut and I imagine its dread. For what? Guilt for taking advantage of a confused girl? Unease at the notion that I am equally being taken advantage of and that when the lust passes, I’ll be left with debasing sentiments?

I join her and give her half a sandwich, anyway.

“I take it Erza left again? Jellal’s back in town. Must be why.” I don’t say this to rile Mirajane up. I just don’t know what else to share with her these days. It’s been so long since we had anything substantial between us. Things haven’t been the same since Lisanna died.

Gramps always said I had a stupid mouth. That I didn’t think of the shit I said or about the people I upset. I guess he was right because Mirajane looks mad. She looks mad before she looks cold and then she’s kissing me. It’s never been the sweet kind. Mira kisses like I am responsible for every shitty thing that’s ever happened to her. Sometimes, she kisses so hard she leaves blood in my mouth. Maybe I like it because she’s still here, isn’t she? I keep opening the damn door to her.

She’s already crawled onto my lap, foregoing the polite ten minutes that has been customary up until this night. I push her off so she looks twice as pissed as she is, and grab at the whisky she opened but didn’t touch. There aren’t any glasses so I drink right from the bottle, as if this scenario can afford to look any more gauche than it already does. It burns down my throat but settles warmly into my stomach, enough for me to face Mira again, though nothing leaves me prepared for the look on her face.

I get on top of her and kiss her so I don’t have to look at her anymore. Falling back into old habits feels natural when I don’t see how life has hollowed out her eyes. It’s easy now that I convinced myself enough that she wants this more than I do, and she wouldn’t be here if she didn’t need this so much. We’re all creatures of comfort. Maybe hers is cathartic sex with me, and mine is just her in particular.

I don’t even dare say it. I don’t even dare think it. That I love Mirajane, who only ever violently obsesses over Erza Scarlet.

Jellal

Maybe I am sick.

Something swims in my blood and it makes me tireless and agitated. I can’t settle down. There is always something to chase, some ghost to put to rest, an evil to be eliminated, a war to end. Or maybe I am just making excuses. Maybe I’m terrified of what planting roots will mean for me.

I don’t belong in Magnolia. I’m not built to bask in open sunlight or accept what life has to offer. I try to visualize being surrounded by friendly people but all I can see is how disappointed they will be when they find nothing good in me; everything in here is damaged, after all. I belong in the shadows where my only companions are wretch like me. After years of madness, I don’t know how to embrace normal. It will never have me, or I it.

I imagine life with Erza and it makes my ulcer boil, for how can I subject her to spending her days loving a wild thing? One would think repugnance of self gets tedious after puberty but I know how dangerous I am. How pathetic, how deranged, how obscure. Sometimes I feel like the only good I’ve done was staying away, keeping her safe on a pedestal.

But when she comes to me, I cannot stop her. I can make meteors bend to my will but I’m too weak to turn a girl away.

Just one more time, I promise myself. Maybe I say it out loud because Erza tightens her hold on me and I let her.

It’s not like I’m not already suffocated by her.

Erza

I feel all sensation boil down to a single instinct when Laxus tells me Jellal is in town. Laxus is a big man, but he looks like he’s trying to fold into himself, back against the bar, eyes shifting, sotto voce, giving me the location of a safe house Master Makarov keeps just west of the woods. His surreptitious nature eludes me; my mind is too busy figuring out the most efficient route to that cottage by the dead oaks.

I am a noisy traveler. My armor creaks and my booted feet stomp, yet all I can hear is the pounding of my pulse against my eardrums like a war beat preluding fateful demise. The cottage is easy enough to find. The thin trail of smoke coming out of the chimney makes my heart beat faster. He’s here. I know he is.

I knock on the door before cowardice eats me alive. I don’t know why it stuns me when the door opens and I see his face, the dark marks on his face, the shock of his hair, the disappointment in his eyes. He’s here and my chest decompresses. What did I expect? Not this, surely. It always feels too good to be true when I catch up to him.

I don’t know what to say. It’s been so long and this time is entirely different from every other time fate has bought him back to me. There are no more wars, no more great monsters, no more excuses between us. And what can I tell him? Won’t you stay? I’ve been trying to fill the hole you left behind but nothing fits quite right. I’m already begging. I’d throw everything away for you.

He already knows that. I’ve already said it too many times to mean anything now. Instead of forcing my mind to find something to say, I step into the small house. Jellal never turns me away but I imagine it’s just a small mercy before he disappears.

I wrap my arms around him and it’s a peaceful start to what will be a storm.

Much later, when we’re undressed, lounging on a hard pallet, with my hands roaming as if to memorize the shape of him in the dark, I try not to think about how sunrise will take him away yet again.

#Mirajane Strauss #Laxus Dreyar #erza scarlet #Jellal Fernandes #miraxus #miraza #erzajane #(what is the official shipname of mira and erza even????)#jerza #there was an earthquake and i had no internet for almost 2 weeks??? so i wrote a lot

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sunshineweb · 6 years ago

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Seven Big Ideas from Fooled by Randomness

I have been re-reading Nassim Taleb’s Fooled by Randomness. The book is about “luck disguised and perceived as non-luck (that is, skills) and, more generally, randomness disguised and perceived as non-randomness (that is, determinism).”

It’s an enlightening read in its entirety, but here are seven key ideas I have picked up from the book.

1. Beware the Hindsight Bias

Things are always obvious after the fact … When you look at the past, the past will always be deterministic, since only one single observation took place. Our mind will interpret most events not with the preceding ones in mind, but the following ones. Imagine taking a test knowing the answer. While we know that history flows forward, it is difficult to realize that we envision it backward. Why is it so?

…here is a possible explanation: Our minds are not quite designed to understand how the world works, but, rather, to get out of trouble rapidly and have progeny. If they were made for us to understand things, then we would have a machine in it that would run the past history as in a VCR, with a correct chronology, and it would slow us down so much that we would have trouble operating. Psychologists call this overestimation of what one knew at the time of the event due to subsequent information the hindsight bias, the “I knew it all along” effect.

The main culprit for our inability to acknowledge randomness is hindsight bias. When we look back at things that have happened, we see them as less random than they were. As they say, the hindsight vision is 20/20. Once we know the outcome of an event, we find it hard to imagine the other possible ways in which things could have happened. And that often causes us grave problems as we start expecting certainties in a highly uncertain world.

2. Don’t Mistake Luck for Skill

There is one world in which I believe the habit of mistaking luck for skill is most prevalent – and most conspicuous – and that is the world of markets … we often have the mistaken impression that a strategy is an excellent strategy, or an entrepreneur a person endowed with “vision, ” or a trader a talented trader, only to realize that 99.9% of their past performance is attributable to chance, and chance alone. Ask a profitable investor to explain the reasons for his success; he will offer some deep and convincing interpretation of the results. Frequently, these delusions are intentional and deserve to bear the name “charlatanism.”

A consequence of confusing being skillful for being lucky is that we tend to think it’s easy to be a successful investor. The ultra-successful, even though they are few, have an outsized effect on us. We believe we can succeed because they did.

The world of investing, like most things in life, produces success stories and failures. It’s human nature to wish to copy success. However, an ironic truth is this: To accept success, and especially quick success at face value without acknowledging the role of luck is a strategy for failure.

3. Do Your Work, Then Let Randomness Do Its Own

…risk-conscious hard work and discipline can lead someone to achieve a comfortable life with a very high probability. Beyond that, it is all randomness: either by taking enormous (and unconscious) risks, or by being extraordinarily lucky. Mild success can be explainable by skills and labor. Wild success is attributable to variance.

In general, the world is a disorderly place, full of random events. And the irresistible urge to seek patterns can get us into serious trouble when we take this tendency to the field of finance and investing. As investors, it’s important to know that we’re dealing with something where randomness and chance can distort the expected outcome in the short term.

Time and again it has been proved that majority of stock price changes are nothing more than random jitters in the system for which no explanation is ever required — yet you can find people obsessing over every minuscule movement and explaining them like kids spotting animal shapes in the clouds.

4. Don’t Be Blind to Alternative Histories

…one cannot judge a performance in any given field (war, politics, medicine, investments) by the results, but by the costs of the alternative (i.e., if history played out in a different way). Such substitute courses of events are called alternative histories. Clearly, the quality of a decision cannot be solely judged based on its outcome, but such a point seems to be voiced only by people who fail (those who succeed attribute their success to the quality of their decision).

We are blind to alternative histories – those silent events that could have happened but didn’t. In the language of behavioural finance this irrationality is known as Survivorship Bias. The outcome which is visible, ‘survived’ and the ones which didn’t survive are hidden. As Taleb writes –

Imagine an eccentric (and bored) tycoon offering you $10 million to play Russian roulette, i.e., to put a revolver containing one bullet in the six available chambers to your head and pull the trigger. Each realization would count as one history, for a total of six possible histories of equal probabilities. Five out of these six histories would lead to enrichment; one would lead to a statistic, that is, an obituary with an embarrassing (but certainly original) cause of death.

The problem is that only one of the histories is observed in reality; and the winner of $10 million would elicit the admiration and praise of some fatuous journalist (the very same ones who unconditionally admire the Forbes 500 billionaires).

Like almost every executive I have encountered during an eighteen-year career on Wall Street (the role of such executives in my view being no more than a judge of results delivered in a random manner), the public observes the external signs of wealth without even having a glimpse at the source. Consider the possibility that the Russian roulette winner would be used as a role model by his family, friends, and neighbors.

In effect, the general belief is that if the outcome is good, the process and decisions made to arrive at that outcome must have been sound. Alas, life doesn’t follow such straight patterns. The randomness and ‘external factors’ play a defining role in life and investing.

5. It Will Happen to You

…problem called denigration of history, as gamblers, investors, and decision-makers feel that the sorts of things that happen to others would not necessarily happen to them.

“It will never happen to me!” is a widely held but dangerous notion. Surely take some risks in life and investing, but only the ones that will not cause you permanent loss. Because sooner or later, it will happen to you.

6. Focus on Process over Outcome

Heroes won and lost battles in a manner that was totally independent of their own valor; their fate depended upon totally external forces, generally the explicit agency of the scheming god (not devoid of nepotism). Heroes are heroes because they are heroic in behavior, not because they won or lost.

As investors, we often struggle with judging whether a decision was good or not, even in hindsight, because we often only look at the outcome and not the process. The truth, however, is that a good process is the only thing that could help us bring the odds of success in our favour. It’s only with a good process that we stand a chance to do well in investing over the long run.

With respect to the investment process, Michael Mauboussin writes in The Success Equation –

…in activities where luck plays a strong role, the focus must be on process. Where skill dominates, performance is a dependable barometer of progress. But where luck is a stronger force, the link between process and outcome is broken. A good process can lead to a bad outcome some percentage of the time, and a bad process can lead to a good outcome. Since a good process offers the highest probability of a good outcome over time, the emphasis has to be on process.

7. Know Thyself

It certainly takes bravery to remain skeptical; it takes inordinate courage to introspect, to confront oneself, to accept one’s limitations – scientists are seeing more and more evidence that we are specifically designed by mother nature to fool ourselves.

One of the most underrated but among the most valuable skills required to succeed in stock market investing is resilience i.e., the ability to properly adapt to stress and adversity – either in the market or in the businesses one is owning.

How easily can you bounce back from a market crash? What would be your reaction to a sharp decline in your stocks’ prices? How many ‘surprises’ can you withstand in quick succession? How safe are your overall finances in light of extreme stress on the equity component of your portfolio?

See, as Taleb says, we are anyways designed by mother nature to fool ourselves. But don’t forget what the noted financial writer George J.W. Goodman – who used the pen name of Adam Smith – wrote in his wonderful book, The Money Game – “If you don’t know who you are, this is an expensive place to find out.”

It’s a wonderful book, Fooled by Randomness. Read it certainly, and slowly.

The post Seven Big Ideas from Fooled by Randomness appeared first on Safal Niveshak.

Seven Big Ideas from Fooled by Randomness published first on https://mbploans.tumblr.com/

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sunshineweb · 6 years ago

Text

Seven Big Ideas from Fooled by Randomness

It’s an enlightening read in its entirety, but here are seven key ideas I have picked up from the book.

1. Beware the Hindsight Bias

2. Don’t Mistake Luck for Skill

3. Do Your Work, Then Let Randomness Do Its Own

4. Don’t Be Blind to Alternative Histories

5. It Will Happen to You

…problem called denigration of history, as gamblers, investors, and decision-makers feel that the sorts of things that happen to others would not necessarily happen to them.

6. Focus on Process over Outcome

With respect to the investment process, Michael Mauboussin writes in The Success Equation –

7. Know Thyself

It’s a wonderful book, Fooled by Randomness. Read it certainly, and slowly.

The post Seven Big Ideas from Fooled by Randomness appeared first on Safal Niveshak.

Seven Big Ideas from Fooled by Randomness published first on https://mbploans.tumblr.com/

0 notes