#like I can’t claim reels have ever been super good with the abundance of like 5 minute crafts and whatnot

[tsuchinokoroyale]

Absolutely enamored with this Facebook reel ft. someone getting incredibly frustrated trying to make pancake art

[vagrantblvrd]

I want that AU where Gavin and Ryan do a meet cute at some little coffee place.

 The whole awkward shuffle of two people who can’t figure out if they should move right or left to let the other one by and end up bumping into one another anyway. Spill their drinks down their shirts and then there’s the embarrassed I am a human disaster laugh as they apologize, and the dreaded oh no, he’s hot moment as they offer each other handfuls of napkins pulled out of the dispenser. (Their hands absolutely do brush, and there is definitely ~lingering.)

They date, they move in together. Get a few cats and various other animals together. (Temporary or long-term, it doesn’t matter, there are an abundance of animals everywhere.)

Gavin pretends to be annoyed by it all - the little monsters are forever peeing on his things and chewing what they don’t pee on all to hell - 

And then Ryan will come home with a sheepish look on his face and a box of bedraggled kittens clearly too-young to be without their mother. (Ryan’s quiet little, “I found them by a busy road, and I couldn’t find the mother cat after looking for a few hours. I don’t think she meant to leave them.”)

He’s worried that this time is the last straw, but Gavin’s cooing over the poor things even as he shoves Ryan at the closet they keep the rescue animal things in. (Gavin’s the one who lets an exhausted, jet-lagged Ryan sleep when the kittens or whatever little monsters the idiot’s brought home that week scream for food in the middle of the night.)

It goes on like that for a year or so, this quiet bit of domesticity they have together. Soft and warm and happy even with the various animals screaming at them for attention or food or just for the hell of it.

There are typical arguments over toothpaste - “What kind of animal squeezes from the middle???”  - and so on.

The thing is, though, they both think the other one is normal.

Gavin does something with cameras. Has an easy half dozen around the apartment they share, probably more, Ryan is never a hundred percent sure about that. Just knows whatever it is he does, Gavin loves it and sometimes will get jobs that take him out of the city for a bit.

Ryan does something with computers. Works from home a lot, but there are times he’ll get called away for something or other or there’ll be a seminar or something. 

(Although the reveal that Ryan used to be a model is one that resulted in a boudoir shoot at some point. One that ended in making out on a bad fake bearskin rug in front of their tv that was playing a loop of a roaring fireplace. Also, sexytimes.)

Neither of them look into things too much, just have a general idea of what the other one does and it’s good.

And then one of Ryan’s old buddies comes into town, and there’s this emotionally fraught reunion because they both thought the other one was dead. (Gavin is quietly wondering what kind of computer work Ryan even does to warrant this kind of thing. Or maybe it was some modeling-related incident years ago???)

Ryan’s buddy is short and has an amazing laugh and brightly colored hair and is a loveable kind of asshole. 

Gavin is fascinated, especially when Jeremy starts telling stories about shenanigans they used to get into. Ryan groaning and hiding his face in his hands, blushing like an absolute idiot and trying to shut Jeremy up to no avail.

They go out for drinks one night and Michael comes along, watches Ryan and Jeremy and gives Gavin a look, because - 

Gavin shrugs, because it’s very clear there was something there - the seed of it at least - between Ryan and Jeremy, but then whatever happened to make them think the other one had died happened, and now, well.

Gavin trusts Ryan, is the thing, and he’s not about to tell Ryan he can’t have this. Can’t be friends with Jeremy who obviously means a lot to him, and anyway,  leave it alone, yeah?

And things go great for a while.

Jeremy crashing in their spare room and helping with the animals - for a given definition of the word. 

Yes, he helps feed the babies and look after the ones that actually live there, but he’s also the reason they add more cats to the permanent pet count. 

But then Gavin comes home banged up and confused look on his face and, “My Faggio’s out of commission,” because there was a bit of an accident. A hit and run, and in Los Santos that doesn’t mean much because no one knows how to drive in the damn city.

He’s a bit down because the stupid, garish thing was a gift from Dan who claimed he didn’t want Gavin to forget his roots living in America. Paid extra for the custom paint job, but it was worth ever last cent just for Gavin’s reaction. (The fact Gavin drove the damn thing at all.)

There are other incidents over the next few weeks, enough to make Ryan concerned because no way it’s coincidence, right?

At first Jeremy’s understandably concerned as well, but then it turns to this odd sort of suspiciousness. Odd, probing questions about the accidents Gavin’s been involved in - that get strange looks from Ryan and have Gavin eyeing Jeremy with the same suspiciousness. (Ryan not knowing what’s going on but deeply concerned.)

Gavin and Ryan arguing because something is going on with Gavin and he’s not taking it seriously enough, and Gavin ends up leaving for a few nights. Tells Ryan he’s going to be at Michael’s to sort things out in his head and Ryan just standing there after he leaves this sick ache in his chest because wait, no, and when he turns around there’s Jeremy.

And here’s the other thing:

Gavin and Ryan? 

Not normal people at all.

Because Gavin is some kind of hitman - used to be a team with Dan years and years ago, but there was some kind of trouble and Gavin ended up in America. Found his way to Los Santos and his reputation came along, got him steady work when he wanted it and enough respect that people listened when he declined a job for whatever reason. (Oh, he loves cameras and whatnot, might have done something with them in another life, but in this one they make for an excellent cover story.)

And Ryan, oh, Ryan.

He’s the Vagabond, formerly battle buddy with Jeremy, and there was a mission or a job that went bad so incredibly fast. Almost killed both of them, and their superiors wanted to break their team up anyway, so why not let them think the other had died? (They weren’t expecting Ryan and Jeremy to resign, weren’t expecting them to turn into ghosts, but there you are)

Ryan’s the Vagabond with his fearsome reputation around the city. Gets jobs that take him away from it for a bit, has him stumbling over abandoned kittens and strays clawing out a living in some dirty back alley. Has him bringing them home to Gavin who rolls his eyes at Ryan and makes grabby hands for the tiny kittens.

Jeremy’s got an alter ego these days, some asshole in this horrific combination of orange and purple and no goddamn sense to any of it.

So when Gavin leaves, Ryan turns to Jeremy and asks him what he’s really doing in town, and Jeremy?

Well.

He’s being paid a lot of money to kill some asshole. Annoying as hell and incredibly skilled and hard to pin down. Someone who might give them a run for their money (maybe though, because the Battle Buddies are fuckin’ awesome).

British. Had a hideous bike and - 

“Wait, are you talking about Gavin?”

And that’s how Ryan finds out Gavin isn’t normal either when Jeremy lays out the files he was given. (How he realized Ryan was alive, and holy shit, what kind of fuckery is this that Ryan’s in a goddamn relationship with this fucking psycho???)

Ryan reads the files, and thinks something’s wrong there. No way Gavin could have done half these things. He’s clumsy and a bit of a disaster and so on, but - 

Ryan’s also seen him climb up a tree like a damn monkey when one of their cats got up there, or just for the hell of it. Seen other things too, the way Gavin gets when they hear gunfire in the distance (Los Santos), or that face he makes when they’re watching an action movie or some spy thriller. (He used to think it had to do with the camerawork, but now? Probably not. Or maybe not entirely that.)

Still.

There are atrocities in the files that he knows, knows, Gavin would never commit. (He’s sure of it.)

Jeremy’s got this face on like he thinks Ryan’s compromised, but - 

“Okay, lets say the guy who hired me is a piece of shit, where does that leave us?”

It leaves them trying to figure out who wants Gavin dead - they find out very quickly that Gavin’s alter-ego has a lot of enemies, so that’s no real help.

In the middle of their junior detective act, someone tries to kill them.

Jeremy thinks it’s Gavin, but Ryan isn’t so sure, and for whatever reason they end up a Michael’s place.

Which is, you know, on fire.

“Well, shit.”

More running around with people trying to kill them, and Ryan gets a call. On his work phone.

Unknown number, but when he answers it’s Gavin.

Voice neutral, controlled, as he reels off an address and hangs up before Ryan can say a damn thing.

Jeremy thinks it’s a trap, but Ryan trusts (trusted?) Gavin, so they go to the address.

“Super original,” Jeremy says, because it’s an abandoned warehouse in the industrial district.

Ryan shoots him a look and heads inside. 

And there’s Gavin, standing next to -

“You’re Mogar?”

It’s Michael, looking annoyed as hell and a little like he just got finished yelling at Gavin. (He did.)

Gavin’s watching Ryan, eyes sliding to Jeremy when he waves at Gavin and Michael (of course he does), and it’s all very emotionally fraught because BETRAYAL and whatnot. 

(Did they ever really know one another? How much trust was there between them? How did they never pick up on the clues staring them in the face for so long???)

And Geoff ambles in and looks so fucking done with all these idiots.

Gavin, who works for him from time to time on the down-low and Michael who works for him all the time not so much on the downlow. (But you know, heist masks and such and Ryan’s only ever worked with the Fakes for heists and other jobs where masks were involved and other handwavy convenient things.)

Geoff, who working on the problem of someone trying to kill one of his people, Mr. Dooley.

Jeremy shrugs, like things couldn’t go so very wrong for him and Ryan here - there’s a sniper up high somewhere with a bead on them - little red dot over Jeremy’s heart and all.

Asks Geoff if he’s aware of the things Gavin’s done, and tosses out little tidbits from the files he was given.

Gavin’s livid, the more Jeremy talks because he knows exactly who’s after him. Turns to Geoff who also knows, because those atrocities that asshole claims Gavin committed so long ago were the reason Gavin ended up in America.

Had him meeting Burnie and the Roosters who got him out of a mess that asshole got him tangled up in. (Got that asshole too, put him in jail or made him the target of several powerful people who didn’t take kindly to people trying to stage a bloody coup in their crews.)

“Do you honestly expect me to believe this whole thing is someone trying to get revenge on you? That’s the plot of a bad movie!”

“Dude, our lives are the plot of a bad movie.”

Because Jeremy, he’s selective about the jobs he takes. When he found out this British asshole who is some kind of monster was in a relationship with Ryan, he fucking flew to Los Santos (literally and figuratively).

But now maybe Gavin’s not a horrible monster with no moral compass after all???

(Jeremy who liked Gavin after meeting him even though he shouldn’t because, again, horrible monster with no moral compass??? and starting to like him even more - understanding why Ryan’s in love with the guy - and that’s going to be a problem isn’t it?)

All of them working together against this common enemy - 

“He’s going to go after Ryan because he wants to hurt Gavin, you dumbfucks, so maybe don’t pull an asshole move and go after this fucker on your own?” 

And Ryan finally gets why Gavin almost died choking on his drink the first time Ryan met Michael and mentioned something about hi having a fiery temper.

Gavin gets why Ryan couldn’t stop laughing when Gavin asked if he wasn’t really heading off for a ~secret shoot when he was called out of town, and so on, both of them wondering how they missed the signs for so long.

Eventually there’s a dramatic ~final battle, in which Ray saves them all at the last moment because the asshole trying to kill Gavin forgot the Fakes have a sniper of his class and then it’s just cleanup.

Gavin heading back to the apartment he shares (shared?) with Ryan to get his things - one of their neighbors have been looking after the animals - when he think’s Ryan’s not going to be there. (Because hey, clearly a relationship built on lies isn’t going to last, and Jeremy’s there, so...)

But no, no.

Ryan’s there, siting on the couch being used as a jungle gym by the cats and various animals and it’s awkward.

Painfully so, because there are ~feelings still. Those, at least, were never a lie, and they talk. Slow, halting, awkward as all hell because really.

Gavin still gets his things, still leaves. Headed to Geoff’s penthouse because after all the added chaos they put Los Santos through these past few weeks, why no become a full-fledged member of the Fakes? He’s got a way with words when he wants to, and people never expect someone like Gavin to be as dangerous as he is.

Ryan doesn’t mope, no, but he does malinger for a bit.

Jeremy forces him to go get them coffee one day, and -

“Oh, shit, sorry, I didn’t see where I was going - Gavin?”

There’s some stupid, obnoxious laughter, and when they look over Michael and Jeremy are watching-not-watching them from a booth and laughing like idiots and holy shit, what even are their lives?

They re-learn one another, find out the only real lies between them were their damn cover stories, and they’re both generally idiots?

Jeremy gives Gavin a new bike as an apology for all the times he tried to kill him before realizing he maybe shouldn’t have been??? (It’s that thing with the American flag paint job, and Jeremy’s smirking like the asshole he is and so damn pleased with himself when he sees Gavin’s reaction.)

Eventually Ryan joins the Fakes, and so does Rimmy Tim (not Jeremy, though) and after a bit there’s a betting pool among the Fakes on how long it takes before that particular trio gets their heads out of their asses and realize they’re all into each other?

Gavin is still “fascinated” with Jeremy, who gives him shit but in a playful way (He absolutely doesn’t try to kill him anymore, which. Always a nice thing.) 

Jeremy who did what he did for Ryan, and Ryan who is so -

He’s careful, because he thought Jeremy was dead and that was horrible. And then he thought Gavin was as good as dead when he found out the truth about him which was just as bad. (Also, guilt at being a hypocrite, lol)

But now Jeremy’s back, and Ryan and Gavin are fixing what’s broken between them, and that’s fine, it’s good. No reason to want anything else when this is more than he expected. (Good things don’t happen to him often, and if they do, they don’t last.)

Gavin and Jeremy figure it out first, and from there it’s a matter of waiting for Ryan to figure out what he wants, and then they arrange things with Lindsay so they get a cut of the winnings from the betting pool, because hey. 

They may be idiots, but they’re not that kind of dumb, okay.

...And then they live happily ever after with their many animals and criminal exploits and the whatnot.