#like I barely have the energy to read other peoples stuff rn im not gonna spend energy on something only for the algorithm to be like no x

[foxmulderautism]

also waking up realising I posted an excerpt that I didn’t really want to post in hindsight but it’s okay bc this sites algorithm is so fucking bad barely anyone saw it 👍

[kadywicker]

Hi! Im same anon from few weeks ago thanking you for getting me into the magicians bc dopamine etc and rn Im watching s4 (near end but im rationing it. kinda) but i dont really filter spoilers so Ive seen stuff from s5 and I have to say... every single thing I read/see sounds like a fever dream and not even a fun one. What is going on? I'm not sure i want to know.

oh my god it’s miserable man i’m so sorry. s5 is..... so bad fasdfasdf i avoided watching it for a year bc i didn’t want to waste my energy trying to p*rate it. but i watched it last weekend and let me tell u..... not worth it! there’s a couple episodes that are like? okay? i guess? but mostly it’s just. terrible writing. sexism. homophobia. nonsensical plots. bad writing. more shitty writing. like. there’s some spoilers below so don’t click if u dont want spoilers but in case u want to know what’s going on (warning for spoilers and a huge wall of text):

there’s too much magic now so spells are going off the shits bc there’s so much magic. there’s a harmonic convergence coming up which will make magic go even MORE wild. a pig man from fillory shows up saying there’s going to be an apocalypse and he needs quentin to help. julia says oh shit sorry quentin’s dead but i can do it but the pig man says only STRONG MEN can do it so he fucks off to try and go find a man for the quest. julia decides to stop the apocalypse anyway, which she thinks is the harmonic convergence. so much fucking shit happens long story short they end up DESTROYING THE MOON. they crack the moon like an egg and eliot and margo get trapped in a timeloop caused by sentient whales practicing magic to keep the kraken at bay. margo gets out of the time loop leaving eliot who figures out what to do! and sends himself back in time to stop the moon from cracking. yay world saved. MEANWHILE IN FILLORY eliot and margo were thrown 300 years into fillorys future where the dark king rules. he’s got? fucking zombies or some shit hes “fighting”? i dont know i wasnt sober for half of this season. they’re hunting fairies. eliot talks about quentin in one (1) episode and cries a little before sending quentin a letter in the underworld. earlier in the episode he tried to fuck the dark king. after that he does not bring up quentin a single other time bc gay men do not get to have compelling love stories and he spends the rest of the season mooning after the dark king he met for 3 seconds before deciding actually HES the love of his life, not quentin. fen and josh are dead in the past and margo and eliot change the timeline like three times to save fen and josh! wow yay! also they can’t save quentin bc changing the timeline would be bad and disrespectful :( they can save fen and josh by altering the timeline though! at one point alice tries to make a golem of quentin to answer some questions about a page in a weird language she found in his desk but she brings back child quentin instead and he dies so it’s whatever. after the moon shit, they’re trying to find this seed that’s depicted on that page of quentin’s bc it’s the World Seed and can create whole new worlds! which is convenient bc turns out that apocalypse was NOT the apocalypse on earth but an apocalypse on fillory they think the dark king is gonna cause. turns out no, they’re going to cause it, they need to destroy fillory to stop the dark king from bringing back an army of the dead to bring back his gay lover bc gay mean are evil and bad >:( and before they destroy fillory they need to get all the fillorians in a pocket world and then put them on a new world they build with the world seed. so much shit happens i don’t even know. there’s a heist. there’s a musical episode that’s also the heist episode. eliot makes out with alice AND kady in this episode bc god likes to see me suffer. there’s a new chatwin! she’s great her name is plum and she can travel through time! she uses these time saving abilities to save hyman- you know, the really sexist perverted ghost that spies on people? yeah well she saves him. even though the narrative forbids saving quentin, they can save that fucking guy. julia is pregnant with penny 23′s baby but it’s a Super Pregnancy bc it’s red monkey month in fillory which means it goes faster. and she’s getting affected by the baby’s abilities to travel and be Psychic. fucking charlton is there he was still in eliot’s head the whole time and he gets out of eliot’s head to bother eliot but no one else can see him so they give him hyman’s body bc hyman wants to be a creepy ghost still. quentin gets brought up a few times but mostly to talk about how he ~sacrificed for those he loved~ or what the fuck ever and also to hammer in more quentin/alice like they didn’t have a like 3 month toxic relationship and he had a FIFTY YEAR RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE TO A MAN AND HAD AN ENTIRE CIHLD WITH HIM but ya know alice is the true love of his life bc they’re a man and a woman <3 <3 <3 the moon is sentient? i guess? there’s symbiotic aliens? fogg gets trapped in a magic acid induced drug alternate reality? and evil fogg from another timeline ends up coming through and fucking shit up? regular fogg gets back and has to hold a cat to stay sane bc all the insanity goes into a cat? fen, margo, ALICE?, and josh end up creating new fillory bc thats definitely the list of people that knew and loved fillory the most (definitely not eliot who was high king of fillory and sPENT 50 YEARS ON FILLORY WITH A HUSBAND AND SON no no he wouldn’t know about fillory), and disappear to their new fillory. the phrase “ovary up” is used no less than 7 times during the season and in the episode descriptions. kady’s barely mentioned as to what she’s doing post finale. eliot is a professor now and oh in the last FOUR FUCKING MINUTES WITH NO BUILD UP charlton kisses him and they go upstairs to fuck <3 the dark king was getting catfished by his brother martin btw bc the dark king is actually rupert chatwin and he ends up in a time bubble with jane and that’s fine while martin gets trapped in the library or some shit i don’t know. oh and plover is still alive and doing relatively fine compared to other characters who are like, dead. fen sympathizes with him isn’t that nice. there were at least 5 different opportunites to bring quentin back and they didn’t bring quentin back or leave opportunity for that. it’s bad. santa shows up for a minute? alice gets her fingers cut off and sewn back on and can’t do magic w one hand now but she’s a master magician so it turns out fine. there’s a line about “her lunacy identifies as she/her” talking about the moon, as if the magicians has any room to make pronoun jokes when they’ve had 2 trans characters that both died and weren’t even textually trans. at one point it turns out josh and fen fucked and margo tries to kill fen in a fit of jealousy and there’s a love triangle situation. fen is now a werewolf too btw. in conclusion! it fucking sucks.

[onepunchmiss]

OPM s2e12 Live Blog

“The Wiping of the Disciple’s Butt”

The season finale. I’m nauseous. Lets begin. 

As always, I’m watching from the perspective of someone who has read the manga and webcomic. 

Right where we left off. Again I love the music. I’m just like, really calm right now actually. hhhhhhhhhhhokay. OOF oh god all the crunching sound effects oh no, this is already so weird watching Garou get his ass handed to him since he’s pretty much curb stomped every other hero in battle thus far, or at the VERY LEAST avoided taking so many hits. This. is so uncomfortable to watch. WOAH ????? THESE SHOTS WERE ONLY THERE FOR A SPLIT SECOND BUT??? HOLY SHIT???

GAROU’S HAIR OH MY GOD 

Oh god oh god Bang is relentless this hurts please stop guys GUYS PLZ  HAS NO ONE REALISED THAT NOT ONE HERO HAS DIED CMON PLZ IT HURTS calm down stop trying to kill him plsplspls OH

THIS 

IS WHY

WE STAN GAROU

HE SAYS FUCK DEATH HOW ABOUT I JUST GET STRONGER INSTEAD QUE EPIC THEME MUSIC

oh god damnit him legit running on all fours right there just looks goofy tho F “preposterous style” Bang you aint lying asdfghjkl really though OH MY GOD EVERYONE IS DRAWN SO BEAUTIFULLY THIS IS SO BLESSED 

WAIT 

NO OPENING THEME???????????????????? WHAT?????????????????????? WHY????????????????????????? ONE, I WANTED TO SEE THE CHIBI OF THE WEEK AND 2 

I WASNT PREPARED FOR MY FAVORITE DOPEY BIRD MAN THE FUCK PHOENIXMAN PLS NO ILY I know people hate him a lot but I just really dig how he feels like a fleshed out character compared to most other monsters, like he’s legit lookit him being all smart and stuff plz I just,,,,,,,,,,,, want to hug dumb fluffy birb ;-;

Woah again I’m being blown away by the animation??? Garou getting smacked around is really fluid and this just looks really cool in general?????

FUCK I CANT DO FLASHBACKS MAN JUST HEARING THE KID VOICE MAKED MY STOMACH LURCH OH NO 

OH NO I SCREAM OH NO I CANT OH NO GIMME 5 MINUTES PLEASE I CANNOT BBY NO I FORGOT ADULT GAROU IS IN THE FLASHBACK WATCHING THIS TIME PLS NO 

LIKE???????? I got kinda a comedic vibe watching him comment on it in the manga but the slow music and shit is just FUKKIN ME UP RIGHT NOW I HATE IT THANKS IT HURTS

oh god his face he has the seething thousand mile stare of quiet rage and its burning a hole STRAIGHT THROUGH MY ENTIRE BEING “But me I was the loner kid. Always gloomy and without friends” STOP. YOU STOP THAT RIGHT THIS INSTANT. IM CRYING AT U RIGHT NOW STOP

NO DONT HOLD HIM LET HIM GO S T O P OR SO HELP ME i can’t watch this what the fuck “I was always the loser” SHIT this legitimately hurts me “I dont want to be the monster anymore” GArou hey did you hear that part?? hEY GAROU DID YOU HEAR YOURSELF THERE??? 

WHAT DID I SAY WHAT THE F DID I JUST SAY STOP HOLDING HIM STOP STOPPIT  THE HELL MAN What if……….. I just go BACK IN TIME AND ADOPT BB GAROU CAN I DO THAT IS THIS POSSIBLE IS THIS ALLOWED ? ?? ?

oh my god it keeps getting worse. I mean. I already knew garou was being disproportionately reprimanded for what he supposedly did, but watching this scene just fucking kicked me in the teeth. As if my stomach wasn’t already in knots. The fuck . why does this hurt so much more watching than reading the frustration in seeping into me ffffff.

This looks really cool but, i can barely focus on that because im pretty much being exsanguinated on the floor over here by this whole sequence look at him crying. do it for me cause I sure as hell can’t 

“I want to strike a blow for the little guy”

Fukkin GETTEM GO GETTEM 

HOLY SHIT HIS VA IS GOING T F OFF 

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH LOOKIT HIM ILY SO MUCH SAVE THE DAY BIRB SAVE 

ASDFGHJKL THIS IS SO INTENSE EVERYONE IS SO INTENSE I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS BUT HOLY SHIT FUCK IM SCREAMING GAROU IS SCREAMING BANG AND BOMB SCREAMING GENOS AND EVEN PHOENIXMAN EVEN THE MUSIC IS SCREAM WE ALL JUST SC R E M

OH MY GOD AND THE LITTLE HEAD NOT GENOS AND BANG GIVE EACHOTHER SAVING THE HEROES OH MY GOD OH FUCK AND THE WAY THEY ANIMATE BANG JUMPING AROUND IS DOPE AS HELL AND ALSO HOLY SHIT ELDER CENTIPEDE I MISSED THE UNSETTLING SMOOTH CG LIKE ANIMATION FOR THE CENTIPEDES EVERY CELL IN MY BODY IS JUST SCREAMING RN I AM OVERLOAD HELP 

Garou flailing in the air in Phoenixman’s grip is … really adorable oh my god. “It’s your fault for not finishing them” ooooooo that shut him up didn’t it oof. Also nice cameo by Tatsumaki there 

ASDFGHJKL THE MUSIC AGAIN I LOVE IT I LOVE THEM LOOK AT THEM OH MY GOD 

THIS IS SO BAD ASS

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS SO BADASS

Genos’s eye static, The brother’s fists swirling, THE FUKKIN CARAPACE SHATTERING 

THIS FIGHT IS SO WILD MY COMPUTER CANT EVEN TAKE IT. ITS GLITCHING AND FREEZING UP HOLY SHIT

oh god ok the face coming out of the face was pure nightmare fuel alright then

WAIT

I FORGOT GENOS IS A SELF SACRIFICING DUMBASS. NO IM NOT READY GENOS YOU DOOF LISTEN TO KUSENO LISTEN TO HIM 

oh no 

oh no

im crying oh no

this animation is beautiful first of all and the music like im just here this is where I’m at and I’m crying oh no 

He’s an angel. A literal angel. Look at that and tell me he doesn’t look like a fucking angel in the sky with the rays of light casting shadows around him. 

Genos you are too good and pure for this world but that DOESNT MEAN TRY TO GET YOURSELF KILLED 

Shit they really made it look like he was gonna self destruct there for a second which MADE HIS LAST STAND EVEN MORE INTENSE OH MY GOD SWEETHEART Y’all ever get into a show because you keep seeing one character that catches your interest, and you keep seeing them pop up on your dash or wherever until you finally decide ‘well fuckit, this is the asshole that’s gonna get me to finally watch the show’, cause you’re already invested in them anyway? Genos did that for me with OPM. If this fool didn’t exist Who knows how long it would’ve taken me to get to watching OPM, if ever. And shit like this is why I STILL love him. I usually move on to new faves 90% of the time but nope. Genos earned his spot and is keeping it. Look at this insane shit. My heart. Uhg

Enough gushing asdfghjkl ok but Genos, you just went INTO THE DAMNED THING’s STOMACH,,,,, and you’re SURPRISED that there’s STOMACH ACID?? But real talk. What the EVERLONG FUCK is that thing’s insides made out of? How did it NOT DIE. the FuCK

asdfghjkl Phoenixman’s chuckle???? I love 

Oh Bang no, this is wrenching my heart like I know that he doesn’t actually use his power but its built up so intensely like,,, would he be ok if he did??? and actually more concerningly since it even WAS brought up that he has some hidden true strength, will we EVER get to see that??? Oh Shit well when they word it as “All the power left to me in this life” then yeah, that seems pretty life or death ish???? THE FUCK 

Oh thank god comedic relief is here I feel like i’m about to have a heart attack my chest is so tight hhhhhh ok breathe WAIT THIS ISNT COMEDIC THIS IS BADASS AS HELL JEEZUS witht he flashbacks to the Saitama encounter and THIS LOOK

The Anime is really fucking with the audience huh??? Making it look like KIngs about to throw hands like???????????? OH SHIT AND THIS MUSIC IS DOPE AS HELL TOO IM JUST laughing I have so much excessive energy right now???

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHZAHAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASDFGHJKLJHGFDSWERTGYHUIUJHGFDFGHJKJHGFRE THE FUKKIN SONG THEY BROUGHT IT BACK THE ULTIMATE SONG I GOT THREE NOTES IN JUST THREE NOTES AND I KNOW IM SCREAMING I GOTTA GO RUN BRB 

IM STILL SCREAMING FADFJSAGFJDSLKAHVFSKLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OUR MAIN MAN THERE HE IS THERE HE IS IM GONNA THROW UP 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

OH MY FUCK THATS WHAT THE OPENING SEQUENCE EXPLOSION WAS FROM OH GOD OH FUCK BEAUTIFUL THIS IS BEAUTIFUL OH FUCK OH GOD 

The REPRISE oh no oh NO OH NO OH NO NO ITS NOT OVER im not ready its not I cant no no no i dont want to press play cause if I press play it will end soon no no no Oh my god and at the end there isnt gonna be a title card for the next episode because THERE IS NO NEXT EPISODE no non o nonononon on on on ono no no no 

NO 

HEY IVE BEEN RIPPED OFF. WHERES THE FACE WITH HIS HAIR BLOWN BACK??? ASDFJKL fine I cant even be mad everything else was tooo  ofdbghjfshkggfhsjgbfhjka

KING WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT REACTION ASDFGHJKL W H A T 

WAIT THEY ARE DOING THE OPENING THEME AT THE END NO I CANT HANDLE SEEING EVERYOONE NOW OF ALL TIMES GOD DAMNIT WHY ok yknow what. I knew it would be king. I dont know how but i did 

Wha

wh

fkin cliffhanger no please no 

I.. I’m kind of at a loss for words. I’m. That’s it, huh? It’s really over. It doesn’t FEEL over. There’s so much unfinished business. Well, the only way to really neatly wrap everything up as neatly as S1 did would have been to get ALL THE WAY through the Garou arc, which obviously wasn’t going to happen, but this is not a great spot to leave off if we’re going to endure another few years hiatus. My hope is that, with biweekley manga updates, we should wrap up the Monster Association/Garou stuff (assuming it doesn’t diverge from the web comic too much) some time next year, and I’m HOPING that s3 is already being planned accordingly along side manga publications. So MAYBE it will at least be announced around that time 2020. That’s my wishful thinking at least. I don’t think I can survive 3 years. anyway

You could really tell JC Staff poured their hearts and souls into these last 2 episodes. Absolutely gorgeous, paced well, so completely satisfying and making every second of s2 worth while. For me, at least. I’ve already seen people still complaining and I’m just sorry they didn’t have as much fun as I did. 

Seriously, thank each and every one of you guys. This has been a wild ride, I’ve barely had this blog a few weeks before season 2 started airing (and honestly just got into opm maybe a month before that?), so I owe a lot of the success on the blog to the anime I bet. This was the first series I’ve never tried live bogging, and I honestly can’t believe that they were as popular as they were? Especially since I never have any idea what I’m doing but yall listen to me ramble anyway?? Yall are crazy thank you so so so much. Now my tuesdays are gonna feel really empty… next week is gonna be weird as hell. Though I’m gonna get mad nostalgic good vibes rewatching this season in the future in no small part from sharing my experience with everyone who's stuck around. I can’t say see yall next week this time, but, see you next season whenever it may be for sure.

[survivordivergent]

EPISODE 8 - “PLS LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME CATFISH HAPPILY” - LUCY

We merged. Awesome. Ed and Payton are still here. Peter is not. Perfect.

Reaching the merge is definitely a big deal when you're on a cast of 20 and there are only 11 left standing. I wish we could've gone to another tribal council to vote out someone like Lucy, but since Riley sucks and chose to do nothing like usual, we must move on. I'm pretty sure the jury starts now, so there's that to look forward to if I'm the merge boot of this season, but I don't wanna go to Ponderosa when there is still a ton of game left to be played!!! We JUST barely passed the most inactive period of this season, and now we've got a lot of game left to play before the final tribal council.

I'm nervous as fuck because I have a lot of unsettled business left in the game with people like Payton, Ed, and Jill, too. I definitely worry that we don't have the Six numbers to conquer the original Four tribe, but I don't know where Kyle or Lake truly stand with that old tribe. It would help if Lake and Kyle ever responded to most of my messages, but that's the recurring theme of this season I suppose.

I finally have the opportunity to meet Melissa, Jill, and Eliza btw! That's pretty cool. Right off the bat, I started talking to Jill and I can tell she's a huge fucking threat and needs to go sooner rather than later. I've done a really bad job at making anyone like me this season, so I think they're going to all come after me sooner rather than later and my friends are far and few between. If I'm not mistaken, Jill has that Dauntless idol which means she's easily the biggest threat left in the game. She was playing dumb and it was very obvious and I cannot stand one thing more than the fakeness.... ugh. Ugly.

At the merge, we have three Candor, one Erudite, two Amity, three Abnegation, and two Dauntless. Those traits represented are honesty, intelligence, peace, selflessness, and daring. Jill is the fakest person I've ever met, so I don't know how she's Candor, and then there's Lucy, who sits there and is actually completely unaware of anything going on around her and probably doesn't know what a puzzle is if it hit her over the head. Ed and Kyle are impossible to read and I think they've got really secretive agendas, so they're definitely not peaceful or anything. You can't determine a person's selflessness by just talking to them, so those three are also excluded from the count. Then we have the bold, the daring. Me and Otto. One of us actually did something, while the other has received more votes than anyone simply for doing nothing. Awesome.

We were placed into our original factions not by our true virtue, but by an arbitrary test we took when we created these identities. We have become someone that is possibly more accurate to who we are inside, compared to who we pretend to be in our daily lives. This is our mask, but it's a thin veil, and I don't think anyone so far has changed a bit. Neither have I. This is why I'm worried about the merge, because not only was I the only person playing, but also the only person who was the self I've always been, inside and out.

I still want to win, but I've got a long road ahead of me before that becomes possible.

Dani: All the idols are taken! Don't bother looking! Me: https://media.tenor.co/images/f8f72a4126ab93243ce92ff4a9b18c87/raw

Ed is swapped instead of out, fuck

Dani wastes idol, fuck

People think i'm following Dani's lead, good but potentially fuck

We get RIley, Lake, and Kyle; okay

Percy is targeted instead of me or Kyle, fuck

Dani flips and votes Percy, fuck

me and now f2 Lucy are on outs, fuck

Auction and I get challenge advantage for next one, yay

challenge is mess and i dont use my advantage, fuck? does it still work?

riley is medevaced, YES!!

peter is voted out, fuck

merge, YES!!!

six is one member down cause of dani, fuck her

ed and payton are out on six, fuck

me, lucy, and dani are potentially alone, fuck

grammar all haywire, fuck

We merged.

As soon as we did I messaged Eliza telling them everything that happened on Six. They didn't reply. I asked them if they're ok. They didn't reply. I asked if I did something wrong. They didn't reply. Yet between all these messages they are still talking in the tribe chat. But you know who is talking to me? Payton. Don't think I won't flip to them in a heartbeat.  You have no reason not to trust me Eliza because you are the one person that I have kept our conversations secret. Eliza Jill and Otto might be next on my hit list.

Smarten up.

I named the merge tribe I named the merge tribe

I'm so happy that I finally named the merge tribe, it's really cool for me.

There was two mess ups in translations though. I wanted to do something with "alias" the theme of the season. I originally wanted to do it backwards but i was like salia, hmm no. Then I was like ahhah! An anagram of alias, Silas! I sent that in to the hosts but afterwards I was like, oh shit, that's not an actual anagram. it has two a's not two s'. I was like oh well he's a guy from survivor still, Silas Gaither.

The announcement came out and I was like oh, it's supposed to be Silas, but I'm cool with the name still though lmao. The merge tribe is SALIS!! It's such an honor and then Dani saying, why not just name it alias, bitch im so over you rn, i might try to get you voted out in case jury hasnt started yet and i'm a petty hoe- actually fuck all of these people im salis you can all die queen lucy is going to win this season bye pill, diena, dead

I am latin salis Jill dont talk to me or my lithuanian salis ever again!

Lithuanian Salis should be the name of alliances, voting blocs, and trust clusters in this game from now on.

http://prnt.sc/dw3w8s

I am very Latin Salis rn and I'm getting rid of the mandatory confessionals for this round.

I love dani, but for someone who's anti-weed, she sure likes to stir the pot

Merge is so stressful right now, because on top of having to meet a ton of new people, I also need to make amends with those that I've wronged in the past, particularly Payton and Ed.

I tried to talk to Payton, and all she's doing is telling me how good she is at this game... Like... what are you doing?? I was so pissed off and it just irritated me the most. I can't believe that she has the audacity to tell someone who already went against her how much power she has in this game. And how she beasted in challenges. I know who Payton is and I love her as a person, but rubbing in my face that she's so much better than me is not a way to continue our friendship, or even gain my respect as a juror if I make it to that point.

I was set on making a deal with her to go to the final two, but now I'm starting to believe that it's pointless. She's saying how I cannot vote Ed off under any circumstances if I want her allegiance. Sorry girlfriend, but Ed wants to vote my ass out the first chance he gets. I can't stand the thought of them getting further than me simply because Payton couldn't hop off his dick for ten seconds to realize he's the biggest threat in the game.

Another thing that pisses me off is that Lake goes on and on about how no one talks to him and how we're all ignoring him and stuff. As far as I know, no one is ignoring him, they're all just inactive as fuck. I'm trying my best to play two worlds right now - my real life and this alias life. I can't be online for both 24/7 like he seems to think I can and talk to him all the time, so if I miss a couple messages here and there then what the fuck ever. He truly needs to get over himself. Going into the tribe chat and saying "if you guys are just going to give me the cold shoulder then you may as well vote me off" is the same kind of passive-aggressive shit that I tend to pull in everyone's PMs, and I do not need another diva on this tribe.

As far as things look, it's possible that I could skate by a couple votes if necessary. Otto should be the first merge boot and hopefully he doesn't get the luxury of jury because fuck that. Then we can start the bloodbath that's been waiting to occur, and all the big threats can begin to fall. Hopefully I'm not one of them.

It's hard balancing two (well, really three) games at once. It's taking all my energy to socialize, but I'm making an effort. Eliza and Melissa have both been super social and I feel really bad about not being able to put in the same effort they're putting in. But, hey, at least I'm trying to do something.

Payton, as always, has been an all-star even with her rough circumstances. I feel so bad for her. The more paranoid side of me is questioning if it's a Fairplay kind of play, but even I'm not that much of an asshole that I'd think it for more than a few seconds.

Dani immediately sent me a message to apologize post-swap and I forgave her. But I don't forget. It's going to be very hard to trust her going forward. Geo, too.

Glad to be back with Kyle. We had a good thing on Amity. He's a great #2 ally to have and I'm hoping he can team up with Payton and myself to go far.

Eliza, Melissa and Jill are all awesome too. I wouldn't be upset with any of them winning... though that's not to say I wouldn't go down swinging.

Lake... hard to tell. We just started talking yesterday, and blowing up in the main chat isn't a great first impression.

Otto – who? Geo – see Otto. Lucy, I'd work with but she needs to talk a little more.

Salis (which is a weird tribe name but not as bad as Shailene) is gonna be a weird tribe as far as dynamics go. I'm glad I got Payton onside early because she's going to be a huge difference maker for me.

I feel so out of place in this game :(

Even if I go home next I STILL GOT 15 COOKIES AND I HOPE THAT'S MY LEGACY

I know all I talk about is my dead daughter and that's literally not even a strategy I'm heartbroken and maybe it'll get me farther? But I don't care. I'm here to have fun and I'm gonna give this game my all until I get cast in something else.

Touchy subjects is probably my favorite challenge, but I always suck at it so if I end up winning, I'll be completely shocked. This immunity is particularly important because no one wants to be the merge boot and I still need time to assemble friendships and alliances with the other players, especially the ones I haven't met yet.

Through conversations that I've had so far, everyone responds the same: "Ed and I are BEST FRIENDS", basically. Everyone has something nice to say about Ed and that's really concerning. He's becoming friends with everyone, and who is the number one person that has pissed him off in the past? Me. Payton already warned me that he's coming after me, and that's really scary, because her egotistical attitude will make it impossible to convince her that she's actually playing for second place to Ed. She truly thinks she's playing the best game this season, and that's why she's going to be the perfect goat to take to the end. Especially now since no one is going to come after her, but instead try and take a shot at Ed?

Stupid me eliminated all of the soldiers I could've had going into the merge to take out Ed. I kept Kyle who is simply a number for him, and that didn't change our relationship in the slightest. I fucked up, so I have a lot of game to play in order to catch up and get even. Hopefully everyone else secretly realizes Ed is a threat too, and then we can do battle.

I'm? Lowkey considering quitting. Not because the game is bad or because I'm going home, but because I owrry that my depression is going to ruin this for me.

Congrats! And @all who put me down for romantic date... that bulge in my pants is not an idol, so nice try ;) - Ed

FUCK

Sorry Geo sorry Geo sorry Geo but I'm going w my majority alliance because you! Are going to be fucking blindsided.

I MADE MERGE. AND IM REUNITED WITH PAYTON WHO I LOVE, AND GEO JUST WON IMMUNITY WHICH IS GREAT. but i'm also at the bottom i feel, dani just came to me and told me its probably between me and otto for the vote.... she said people are saying they want to "kill the inactives" but like thats so ridiculous because i've literally tried to have a conversation with lake like 5 times and he never responds but they're all ok with keeping him... sus. anyway i don't trust dani at all but she;s one of the few that actually fills me in on things. i'm also pretty sure payton and ed have an alliance with the people on their old 4 tribe, because ed won the idol clue  and i didn't hear of anyone i know getting a chance to look for it. idk it seems realistic... I'm gonna approach kyle maybe about an alliance or something to try and get on his good side bc he seems like a power player, but also seems like a straight shooter.. we'll see. also dani literally makes every conversation with her into her trying to figure out who i am and its so annoying like I'm irrelevant in the survivor community you probably don't know me and i don't trust you so pls leave me alone and let me catfish happily!

anyway i think I'm fucked this vote but maybe i can find someone with the other half of the idol.

but i think geo and payton will be loyal for now, and with payton comes ed i feel, and if she can convince whatever alliance she's in to keep me too then that might buy me some time. we'll see, its not over till its over!!

Lucy I did want to work with you, but if you go home tonight it's only because I need to stay loyal to what my majority alliance wants so that I can win. I need to win. Have fun on jury, I really love you <3

When I feel like I'm going home but dani tells me to vote out lake and I come up with an idea to flip the script and blindside dani bc I don't trust her but she's also literally the only person to respond to my pms so I can't even work this blindside and AHH I'm so annoyed. I also literally don't trust anything dani says especially because she voted w/ lake and against me last tribal. We'll see,  let's just pray someone wakes up in time to do something! Otherwise, it's been fun! Let's hope I at least made jury so I can drag all these messes at the ftc

I honestly didn't think that I had any game plan going into this tribal, but I found a little crack and I'm going to force myself into it and break some shit apart.

Basically, Kyle found out that Payton was going around, gathering votes to get rid of him this tribal council...even though that was my plan originally. I don't know if he is aware of that, but all of the information got passed to him through Eliza. Interesting. Eliza seems to have a ton of time to talk to everyone else but me, so I'll take note of that. Meanwhile, I decide that it's not time for Lucy to go yet, and I start to bring up the idea to the most eager person, Payton, that we should get rid of Lake instead. Of course, she agrees and says it's the smart move, so that's that with her and she wants to bring Ed in. I tell her to hold off, because clearly information given to Ed gets passed down through everyone else it seems, so keep it away from him.

I told Lucy that she might be going home, so she should vote for Lake tonight. I'll talk to Geo, too, and hopefully I can convince Otto the same... or maybe get him to throw his vote idk. We'll have to see what I can do.

As it stands, the original Six tribe minus Ed should be sticking together with Otto as an additional number to make five. If Payton can convince Ed to vote with us to oust Lake, then he'll believe he has the opportunity to flip next round. We'll be at final ten, and hopefully I can find an idol by then to eliminate either him or Jill because dam they are huge threats!

So anyways, I informed Payton that Kyle was totally aware of her throwing his name around, thanks to Eliza. I'll see what angle I can play with Eliza if she ever messages me back (spoiler alert: she won't). Payton got nervous and said that she's probably going home tonight, which is weird because that's definitely not happening and it would make zero sense from a strategic standpoint. I then told Payton to go to Ed, spill the tea that Kyle might be trying to get rid of Payton this vote (which is not true). If Ed thinks that Kyle is coming after what is believed to be his number one ally, then Ed might just be willing to flip and get rid of Lake tonight, too. They're going for our easy vote in Lucy, so we'll go for their medium vote - Lake! :)The strategic value behind getting rid of Lake is that he is such a freaking fruit loop. He is so aggressive and always gets mad if we don't answer his PMs, even though he never answers mine, and I think he's still super attached to Kyle... basically, he's a target. If we can't get rid of Kyle, we can get rid of him. I might hatch up a plan to get him to split his vote away, as like a decoy with me, Lucy, Geo lmao. Even though Lucy and Geo will never split and actually we're just voting him out, hehe :~) I feel bad because I like him a lot, but it's the best move for my game right now... sorry, Lake, when you're reading this. If you don't go home tonight and you're completely shook by this revelation, at least now you know. 

IF I GO HOME TONIGHT, KYLE, I WASN'T COMING FOR YOU, KNOW THAT

I don't really remember what I talked about in my last confessional, and its too far for me to scroll back up, so if there are repeats, oop. So Melissa, Jill and I formed the Big Hero 5 alliance with Payton and Ed and we voted out Peter, but really, where's the loss? We kind of agree to stick with each other at merge, which happened rightafter tribal, but honestly, I dont really know if that will hold up. I am SOOOOOO excited to get Ugly Fruti back together! I missed Kyle, and it was nice to be able to talk to him again. Fast forward a bit, Ed wins reward and gets to take 4 people with him to search for an idol. He picked Jill, which is great, but you would think, if he were so loyal to Big Hero 5, he would have picked all of us. But alas. Anyway, Jill shares the idol clue with me and we FINALLY get to the end of the Erudite idol path. It's just the last riddle we are stuck on, which tbh doesnt matter bc apparently Ed already has the idol. Shoutout to JENNA, btw, for making the most difficult idol path I have ever seen! Anyway, we do immunity, which is Touchy Subjects that I hate. I don't remember everything I got, but one was "Who would you most like to see win the season?" Which, is nice to hear but.... That gives everyone a reason to vote me out. I'll be okay with being voted out later I guess (and ONLY because I've already won a storybook season), but I'm not about to be first merge boot again... So Geo wins immunity, and Jill says, "I wanna flush my idol, let's blindside Ed." This is the guy who also has an idol that everyone knows about...... eh... idk if it will work. Kyle doesnt want to, but Jill is adamant about doing it behind his back, and Melissa seems okay with it. Lucy is campaigning to me and I'm trying to build trust and make a solid plan, but everything is all over the place and we still have 4 hours before tribal... Let's see what happens

Did I make a confessional yet?  I think everyone is voting for Lucy but I will probably vote for Otto just to make it interesting.

I'm not voting Dani. Because I wish she hadn't revealed herself. Otherwise I wouldn't care. But I do, because I know. So I'm not voting Dani, and I'm not voting lake, I'm voting Otto.

I don't know what the fuck is going on this time? I'm voting for Dani but I've heard like 8 different names. Mine has not been one of them so I'm probably leaving. Jill is a messy queen, the bitch had better live. There are gonna be a lot of problems after tonight, this account is about to be more important than my real one........

I think if I go home tonight, it means I was playing a good game. A dangerous game. Or maybe they hated me, I don't know. I had fun. I made friends, I think. I probably won't retain any of those friendships, especially if they all hated me. I played an idol, I made some mistakes, and I guess I probably threw a good portion of my game into the trash for the sake of making big moves. I'm not disappointed, I just wish I could've done better strategically. But I've learned that I can be resilient, and I've gotten myself through some sticky situations. I hope tonight is no different because I still want that opportunity to finally plead my case to the jury on why I deserve to win, even if it's not as Jaiden. I just want to feel the accomplishment of finally doing something right.

I didn't come here for the purpose of entertaining anyone other than myself. I didn't need honesty in order to further myself, and although I would be going home before people who probably don't deserve to be here still, I think I made the right decision. I don't know if I have the votes I wanted on lock, and I expect to get some tonight thrown my way. I'm anxious as always; that's something I'll never be able to change about myself, alias or not.

I'll leave this experience pretty much unchanged. Maybe next time I'll be a little more loyal, a little more honest, but chaos is fun. I'll never change that about myself, either, because becoming someone else was never what I wanted to do. I shouldn't have to pretend to be someone other than myself for acceptance of others -- but most importantly myself. I was blessed with the dream to become someone that I am not, but Danielle is not the person I wanted to be. I still wanted to be Jaiden in a Danielle mask. I hope that my friendships I developed will last outside of the game, but once it's over, I'm putting the mask in my dresser and they can accept me for me, or forget about it.

But, if Lake goes home tonight, then I guess this was all for nothing. I'm not done playing, and I'll be back for my revenge if everything ends up failing and Lucy goes instead. Jaiden would've made it clear to not play with fire, but with Danielle, they never saw it coming. I guess that's the beauty of being the fakest of them all.

2 in one day?? Hm... this tribal is literally all over the place and I have no idea what is happening.. tbh, I won't be surprised if i get votes...

You know how I said Lucy is my final two? Yeah I was joking about that. I don't have any final twos at the moment.

Dani was an ally but she was definitely untrustworthy, which could've helped me out later in the game, but she dragged my game down by her very risky plans and making me seem like her bitch, as long as she was here, we would be considered a duo because we did vote Ed out. It's a double edge sword her leaving because a six leaving is stupid for a six, but it gives me more options changing people's perceptions of myself. I think she could also be a vote for me in the end if I make it there.

Lucy screwed me over by flipping, believing what four was telling her, and not telling me what was going on. I had a feeling that there was something sketchy going on with her one word answers. I do believe she has my back, it made sort of sense to get rid of Dani for her, but she gave four the majority. Getting rid of lucy probably wont be good for me because she's a number for me still and I hands down beat her in the end imo.

Ed gave me a search for the idol which I appreciated, but it was definitely strategy because he doesnt want me gunning for him and he wants to work with me at the moment.  If he makes it to the end and im in jury he still doesnt have my vote, hes been voted out with an idol and i know hes still salty.

Payton is probably the person Im closest with now because shes active and i do trust her. If she makes it to the end however, she wins hands down, in my mind. Shes strategic, social and pretty physical as well. I would give her a vote. Shes going to be mia for a bit which is totally understandable because of her circumstances.

Eliza, Jill, and Melissa? Yeah they all are bitches and they really mesh well with their boring ass personalities. Im asking questions and they all are like im a gas station worker yep, thats it. DEEPEN THE CONVERSATION!

Ottos dumb hes going to make the end for doing nothing and people are letting it happen.

Lakes an emotional bitch and they can choke on their own tears. Kyles a brick and boring too, bye.

oh, I won immunity with 19 points and these people are stupid and im perceptive as fuck this is my second touchy subjects win dumbasses. here ends my nick maiorano downfall edit that started with me targeting kyle, naming the tribe, winning immunity, and strategic trying to put together a vote for stupid people.

Hello I'm about to get snatched but at least I made merge!

So Lake just gave me what i consider one of the biggest powers in the game?? What??? He gave me a Simulator, that I can play at any time, and it will redo the round at the end of the cyle... redo challenges. Redo tribal. What??? Im.... speechless?? I mean, I definitely trust Lake a hell of a lot more now than i did about an hour ago but... why would he just hand this to me??

lake . - Today 7:24 PM > So I feel like you're defienlyy better off for this game than I am. And I've thought about this a lot. And I want to give you something.

> I don't want to end up going home with it in my pocket at some point and I feel like you would have a better idea of when to play it than I do.

Im... speechless... PRAYING TO GOD that it isn't me tonight and that this last minute blindside of Dani actually pans out. I feel bad not telling Lake, but he's been running his mouth, which is why we switched to Dani in the first place. Ugh hurry up 9 o'clock!!

[sacahoewea]

I'm pretty sure people are supposed to ask me a number and i answer it but it's 3:30 am and I'm not tired and I've watched everything I want to watch on netflix so imma answer them all now. And no one would ask me any so like ok here we go. 1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify 2. is your room messy or clean? Messy but I want to keep my next apartment clean and if I get a greyhound I'm gonna have to. 3. do you like your name? why? Eh yeah no complaints. 4. what is your relationship status? Single 5. describe your personality in 3 words or less. Better when drunk 6. what color hair do you have? Brown 7. what kind of car do you drive? color? A 2008 black mercury grand marquis aka Tom I love you my child ❤️ 8. where do you shop? I realized I haven't gone to a store for anything other than food since like Christmas. Maybe I'm wrong idk it's 3:30 9. how would you describe your style? Trying while trying not to seem like I'm trying 10. favorite social media account? snapchat 11. what size bed do you have? Queen 12. any siblings? 27 yo sister 13. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? I've been thinking about this a lot lately and idk. Maybe Orlando I'm not sure. Hopefully Greenville nc 14. favorite snapchat filter? I guess the current city one. It's cool when you're in an interesting place. 15. favorite makeup brand(s). Is this supposed to be for girls whoops? 16. how many times a week do you shower? It varies a lot week to week but I'd say an average of 5 lol 17. favorite tv show? The office duh 18. shoe size? I've been a 12 since high school but lately I've been wondering if I've been buying shoes too big for years so im going through an existential foot crisis. So maybe 11 19. how tall are you? 5' 9? Plus or minus an inch 20. sandals or sneakers? Sneakers 21. do you go to the gym? Mostly run but sometimes I do but nothing crazy. I always feel like I'm doing the machine or exercise wrong and people are laughing at me. 22. describe your dream date. Sex and then a big meal. Not the other way around for obvious reasons. Is that even a date? Idk it's my dream I can do what I want. 23. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? Probably like $80 idk I'm too lazy to look. 24. what color socks are you wearing? None 25. how many pillows do you sleep with? 0 FUCK pillows 26. do you have a job? what do you do? I DO 😬 I'm an environmental engineer. I haven't started yet though 27. how many friends do you have? Like 8 I think 28. whats the worst thing you have ever done? I can only think of stuff I don't want the world to know. 29. whats your favorite candle scent? Cozy nights lol 30. 3 favorite boy names. Luke Tom Wilson 31. 3 favorite girl names. Crystal idk that's all I can think of 32. favorite actor? Jim Carey? 33. favorite actress? Amy pohler 34. who is your celebrity crush? Connor mcgregor lol 35. favorite movie? Yes man 36. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? Nope but the glass menagerie by Tennessee Williams or the pearl by john Steinbeck 37. money or brains? Both 38. do you have a nickname? what is it? Not really. 39. how many times have you been to the hospital? Like for myself idk not many maybe like once to get stitches when I was 8 40: top 10 favorite songs. Top 3 are sams town, loner phase, and shake me down. After that it's hard to rank them. 41. do you take any medications daily? No I can barely take a multivitamin daily 42. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc). A little of both at times. I like my skin though it's served me well for how little effort I put into it. 43. what is your biggest fear? Being stuck in a life I hate without hope of it getting better. 44. how many kids do you want? -1 I'd like to return myself. 45. whats your go to hair style? Like normal and then a lil swoop to the side in the front lol 46. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)? A 5+ acre property with a stream running through it and a large two story house in the middle with no neighbors in sight and a long drive way leading up to it and on the second floor i want the master bedroom to be on the corner of the house and have floor to ceiling glass windows and my bed be in that corner so I can look out and be relaxed as I fail at falling asleep. 47. who is your role model? Small parts of several people. 48. what was the last compliment you received? Having a good idea? Idk 49. what was the last text you sent? Happy pi time. Wait no I said yaaaas after that. 50. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? Idk like 12 I have no idea tbh 51. what is your dream car? I'd like to keep Tom and then get a Silverado and a grand Cherokee. 52. opinion on smoking? Cigarettes gross. Weed ok but not for me 53. do you go to college? Just graduated UF woo 54. what is your dream job? An R&D engineer researching alternative energy. 55. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? I want the population density of rural but the proximity to urban of suburban. Which probs doesn't exist. 56. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? No but my dad does 57. do you have freckles? Yeah mostly on my back. 58. do you smile for pictures? Yeah but not with teeth 59. how many pictures do you have on your phone? 5202 lol. 60. have you ever peed in the woods? Yeah aw reminds me of tailgating :( 61. do you still watch cartoons? Yeah but like bobs burgers 62. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? Chick fil a idc if that's not a choice 63. Favorite dipping sauce? Chick fil a sause 64. what do you wear to bed? XXL boxers. I hate wearing anything at all tight to bed 65. have you ever won a spelling bee? HA bitch please 66. what are your hobbies? Soccer running taking self adventures netflix YouTube 67. can you draw? If I try really hard but I don't have the patience so no 68. do you play an instrument? No 69. what was the last concert you saw? Sia! 70. tea or coffee? Neither. Water 71. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Neither but DD if I had to choose 72. do you want to get married? No 73. what is your crush’s first and last initial? AH 😏 74. are you going to change your last name when you get married? NA 75. what color looks best on you? Like a dark blue grey. I think it has a name but idk what it is 76. do you miss anyone right now? POOP :( 77. do you sleep with your door open or closed? Closed for sure 78. do you believe in ghosts? Not in the traditional sense but like maybe in a scientific way of like multiple dimensions overlapping or something like that. 79. what is your biggest pet peeve? Absent minded slow people. 80. last person you called? Dad 81. favorite ice cream flavor? Mint chocolate chip 82. regular oreos or golden oreos? Regular 83. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? Rainbow. I would lol 84. what shirt are you wearing? None 😏 85. what is your phone background? A person jumping off a cliff on the outside and a greyhound overlooking a meadow on the inside. 86. are you outgoing or shy? Shy 87. do you like it when people play with your hair? Usually no but lately in some settings lol 88. do you like your neighbors? Yeah we've never said more than hi but they're quiet so I like them 89. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? Neither lol 90. have you ever been high? No 91. have you ever been drunk? Yes I wish I was drunk rn 92. last thing you ate? Chuys ❤️ 93. favorite lyrics right now? The entire song goats in trees by foster the people. Applicable af rn for me 94. summer or winter? Summer 95. day or night? Night 96. dark, milk, or white chocolate? Dark 97. favorite month? June but maybe not anymore. I liked it bc it was the beginning of summer with the comfort of knowing you still had another whole 2 months of vacation left. But now that I'm gonna be working so idk 98. what is your zodiac sign. Sagittarius 99. who was the last person you cried in front of? Honestly no one. I cried on the phone to my parents freshman year of college but no one will ever see me that vulnerable. 100. what color are your eyes? Blue/green