#like BITCH you weren't supposed to eat ANY of them they were mine and i never gave permission to eat them

[miras-ash]

Chapter 5 of "Just as the stars love the night"

TW// sexual violence

Ash's pov

Since Deimos had made me his little experiment I was doing a little better. I was still a prisoner but I had enough to eat, access to a functioning bathroom and not much else to worry about. The only thing that was missing was proper medical care, apart from a cream and bandages, I got nothing to take care of my burns, my left leg was no longer covered in blisters but my skin was still bright red and scar tissue was starting to form here and there. It was only due to my daily hygiene and fresh gauze that I did not have blood poisoning yet.

My ribs were not doing any better, I tried to move as little as possible to avoid more damage. I suspected that they were already starting to grow together incorrectly, at least that's how it felt.

Every day Deimos came to me and every time he brought me something, as if he could buy my attention, love or whatever he wanted. I played along but kept my distance, more than holding my hand and short hugs I did not honor him. At first he didn't seem to mind, but as time went on he became more and more impatient. I ran out of time....

I looked at the clock on the wall and noticed that it was already very late. He would probably not look over today, usually he was here much earlier so I decided to go to sleep and to get another day around.

Just as I was about to fall asleep, the door slammed open and closed again with a loud crash. Deimos stood at the foot of the bed and looked at me with a look I couldn't interpret. He was wearing his uniform and again that hideous mask. When he took it off I recognized some bruises under it as if it had a cramp or at least a violent beating. He reached into his pocket and pulled something out to throw it to me on the blanket. Still tired, I straightened up and took the item that turned out to be a necklace. They were dog tags. What was I supposed to do with them, whose were they?

I turned them over and read the engravings.

Startled, I looked into Deimo's eyes and back at the tags in my hand, they were Elena's. Where did he get them? Where had he gotten them?

"What does this mean? Are these hers?"

He nodded and his cold eyes stared me down.

"They went too far, they slaughtered my men like cattle, burned down one of my outposts and stole information, yet I gave up chasing them. So I went after them and got my hands on the head behind the operation and unfortunately it was your little wifey, I'm sorry about that, but let me assure you it was quick."

My stomach tightened. No this couldn't be true, he was lying, he was playing me. She couldn't be dead, not Elena. I jumped out of bed and lunged at him, but he grabbed me by my hair and flung me to the floor.

"You stupid bitch, she's dead and you know why? Because of you, if you weren't so stubborn and didn't refuse me she might still be alive. Think about it, if you would have just let me into your heart then we would have been long gone and I wouldn't have even realized what happened, let alone cared. Why don't you open up to me, what is your fucking problem?!"

With the last words he started punching me, over and over again. I felt his fists in my face, in my stomach, my ribs, everywhere.

Again he pulled me up by my hair and pushed me onto the bed.

"You're mine, why can't you understand that? I wouldn't deny you anything, I would give you everything and yet that's not enough? I was planning to go away with you, somewhere where no one could find us and harm us, we could have been a family and now you're making me hurt you."

His voice sounded unusually high and there was something unpredictable, even crazy in his tone. I braced myself again and kicked out, hitting him in the face and the ugly cracking sound could not be ignored, that was his nose. He cried out but didn't let go of me, his fingers dug into my arms and I could feel him tearing off some of the renewed skin of my left shoulder. Tears came to my eyes, I clenched my teeth and concentrated on the next step. There had to be something, a gap, a weak spot. Since when was I so helpless?

Deimos pushed me down with one hand and with the other he pulled away my nightgown and underwear.

His face came closer and closer to mine and before I could turn my head away he stuck his tongue down my throat. I had to gag, it felt so wrong and disgusting, I didn't want that but he left me no choice. With his hand still free, he pulled down his pants and forced himself between my legs.

Between his kisses, I begged him to stop, appealing to his mind as confused as he might be.I struggled, I screamed but he didn't stop.

I don't know how much time had passed, every time I thought it had an end, he just started again. After what felt like hours, he finally stood up, stroked my cheek, looked at me again with his smug smile and kissed my forehead.

"See how beautiful it can be if you just let it happen? Did I really have to force you to be happy?"

Deimos stood up, got dressed again, and left the room, leaving me behind. My whole body trembled with pain, tears streaming incessantly down my face. I curled up and stared at the wall still holding Elena's tokens, I hadn't even let go of them.

Now that she was gone, what was the point of going on? I had held out for her for so long. I thought she would come for me, but in the end I had to come to her.

Deimos had probably gotten what he wanted, he had broken me.

[floralbfs]

my sisters ate my gummy worms i am going to scream

[artificialqueens]

Gimme Love, 1/9 (Miz Cracker/Blair St Clair) - Grinder

AN: Welp! I started this back in March. It was supposed to be a oneshot and then I realised it was 200 odd pages. Whoops! Another songfic based on music by Joji. This one is Gimme Love, which some of you would probably know, it was circling TikTok for a while. Anyway, more song fics to come!! I hope y'all enjoy! Stay safe in these crazy times!

TW: Mental health, panic attacks

1993

"OK, so you got your apple juice, your finger sandwiches, and grapes. And most importantly, you got your best outfit on. Ready?"

No. I wasn't ready. They were going to eat me up. I knew just by how the 3 bitches off to the side stared and laughed. One of them was swinging from the bus stop pole. It sounded evil, but I hoped she would have fallen over.

"No." I clung to my Mother.

"Brianna." She uttered. She was tired, already having dealt with this before leaving the house. And it didn't help that Grandpa only laughed instead of helping out.

"No!" I said louder, squeezing my tiny fists into her shoulders.

"Look. Everything will be fine. The day will fly in, trust me. And I'll be right here when you get off the bus later." Mom continued.

She gave me a kiss on the forehead and shook me off.

As she smoothed her skirt down, I stamped my foot in a huff. For me, this was the second most ultimate betrayal that had ever happened to me. My Mom was making me go to school. How dare she.

"I love you, girl. Be good and have a great day." Mom said before walking away. My gaze followed, feeling the faucet in my eyes turn on. I was prone to cry baby behaviour around this age.

Now that my Mom was gone, it was all game for the bitches.

"Awww, the little baby needs her Mommy." One of them cooed in her fake voice. "Didn't you know the pre-school bus picks up two hours later?"

"Yeah!" Another decided to join in, "And I bet that's not even your real Mommy."

"She is too!" I clenched my tiny fists at my side. This was half true. I was an adopted child, but to me, Roberta was the best Mother I could have ever asked for. And no one had the right to question that.

"No, she's not! Your real Mommy didn't want you 'cause you're ugly!"

"Yeah, look at your hair. It looks like a fur ball."

"And your clothes are obviously hand me downs."

I stamped my feet again. "That's it! I'm giving you the finger!" I flipped them off. I picked it up from Mom, from the many time's drivers pissed her off. When she'd warn me never to do that, I knew it had some sort of power to it.

But it did nothing. The girls just laughed even more. I had no defences; therefore, I was left helpless.

The bus pulled up, and I was last to get in. The girls warned almost everybody to watch out for the "girl with the weird hair".

I moved down the middle of the bus, my head moving from side to side, hoping to find a seat.

Everybody with a free seat either put their bags on the chairs or put their feet up. I wanted to snap, demanding that they let me sit. But the fear inside rendered me silent.

I was nearing the back, where the 3 girls sat. They smirked upon seeing my face, relishing in the fact I was on the verge of tears. All I wanted was to turn back, get off the bus and lock myself in my house.

But as if someone above heard my innermost thoughts, that's when I heard it.

"Do you need a seat?"

I looked towards the voice. And I froze. There she was, an absolute angel. She looked like a Disney Princess with her bright blonde hair and blue eyes.

I hesitated for a moment. But the bus began to move. So I sat down next to her.

"Hi," I said.

"Hey." Her eyes were observing me, looking me up and down. And I felt even more stunned. "You have funny hair."

"My Mommy says I have lovely hair," I replied in defence.

"I didn't mean it in a bad way. I just never seen hair like that." The girl replied.

My hair wasn't even bad. I just had a massive head of untamed brown curls. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Then again, I had never seen anyone with hair like hers. She looked like she had gone to a salon beforehand. "Your hair looks golden."

"Thank you." She smiled. "I'm Blair. My favourite colour is yellow, and I wanna be a singer when I grow up. How about you?"

"I'm Brianna. My favourite colour is pink. And...I wanna be a politician someday."

"What's a pola...polatichon?" Blair asked.

"A politician." I corrected her. "I don't know what they do. They just shout a lot. And that's what I want to do."

Blair had no idea what I was talking about, but she laughed anyway. And that made my heart skip a beat.

I felt something pelt the back of my head. I grabbed it, looking at the small rolled up bit of my paper in my hand. It was wet. I had just been spitballed for the first time.

Blair looked over her shoulder, and I did the same. It was the three bitches from the bus stop. They weren't even hiding their giggles.

"Not nice." Blair stuck her tongue out at them. Then, turning back around in her seat, she put her hand on mine. "Don't worry about them. I'm your friend, Brianna."

"Really?" My eyes brightened.

"Of course!"

As much as that statement had made my heart soar, how it made me feel like there was nothing to be afraid of…

It was the biggest lie I heard that day.

As soon as I got off the bus at the end of the day, I waved to Blair, unaware that she would be sitting with the 3 bitches the next day.

And then it went on for years, being that ugly girl with weird hair. And it didn't help that I needed glasses later in life.

But I wasn't completely alone. So let me tell you about Jujubee.

2020

"Hey, asshole! I'm pulling in there!"

Jujubee was hanging out the driver side window, flicking the indicator aggressively.

"Juju, can you just...not do that?" I asked, my eyes glued to my phone as I checked how many people had seen my Instagram story. It was a picture of the two of us, showing off our outfits that had been gifted from Alexander McQueen.

"And let that asshole steal my spot? Absolutely not." Jujubee protested. She flipped the guy off, only to receive the same gesture back at her. She wasn't prone to behaving like this. I usually found it absolutely hilarious how loud she could be.

Now, you're probably wondering - two well-dressed ladies in their Alexander McQueen outfits should be seated in the back of a limo, sipping champagne.

I wasn't a fan of limos. They only drew attention.

And with Jujubee hurling dog abuse at the other drivers, I was sure the attention would be on us.

But we made it to the event without any trouble.

Jujubee was hilarious, intentionally and unintentionally. I learned that all the way back on my second day of school. When it was clear to me that I wouldn't be friends with anyone else, I ventured off on my own, exploring the playground and looking for bugs. But, instead, I found her sitting alone in the sandbox.

"Leave me alone. I'm trying to dig to the centre of the Earth." She had said, blowing her shiny black hair out of her face.

I knew she would only reach the bottom of the pit, so I laughed, and I helped her dig. We had been inseparable since.

We grew up together, all the way through elementary, high school and college. And through those years, we had one thing in common - we were the weird ones. The kids who everyone bullied.

Ugh, I hated that word; bullied. It made me feel pathetic and helpless. Jujubee and I, however? We were far from pathetic and helpless. After all, how would we even be where we were if that was the case?

OK, maybe I was pathetic and helpless growing up. No, I was. I had just accepted all the name-calling, the shoving, the damage. Jujubee, on the other hand, would fight against it all.

But back to the current situation. We were now sitting at a table with the other project workers. Everyone was having a great time, and the event hadn't even really begun yet. They passed jokes around, talked about trials and tribulations, and I laughed along.

But I may as well have been alone as I was stuck in my own thoughts. How it was even possible, we were all gathered here for this moment.

I looked at Jujubee, sitting next to me, and felt an overwhelming need to hug the shit out of her. If it weren't for her being so encouraging, then maybe this wouldn't have happened.

"What's up?" She caught me staring.

I lowered my head for a moment, breathing a laugh out through my nostrils. I didn't want to get sappy with her, even though she deserved my gratitude. My best friend, my ride-or-die bitch. Lifting my head again, I smirked. "Nothing. I'm just glad you're on this team." I raised my glass to her before sipping the bubbling champagne.

"Proud of you bitch." Jujubee reaching over and squeezed my free hand.

I was proud of me too. Because, despite all of the shit I dealt with in school, here I was, the manager and director of this whole operation.

All of the hard work paid off - years of trials and tribulations, so many arguments and disagreements. We finally did it. We found a gateway to another world, a parallel universe, a portal in the middle of the space just waiting to be explored.

Of course, people doubted me. They said things like, "Well, it is a dream, all right." How could anyone blame them?

But here we were.

The speaker, Michelle, called me up onto the stage to receive a certificate, all encased in a glass frame. I exchanged air kisses with her and graciously took the award. Jujubee cheered me on as I stood up there, letting people take pictures.

And then came the obligatory speech.

I couldn't lie; I hated public speaking. It was always something I struggled with. But, I never backed down from one. I just liked to keep them short and sweet.

"Long story short, I had dreams, and I worked towards them. So, here I am, an example of the walking embodiment of success. And I thank each and every one of you, ladies and gentlemen. Have a great night."

Short and sweet. The crowd applauded.

Yes, I was told in the past that I'm arrogant, but I disagreed. I'd say confident. And there was nothing wrong with confidence. After all, there has been a stigma around that word. Doesn't it come from a sense of insecurity, the need to tear successful people down because you're afraid to strive towards your goals?

I deserved to feel this successful, for all those times I was laughed at and ridiculed. I look down on all those assholes and let them know that I made it.

I posed for pictures as I held my award, knowing they would be everywhere the next day; in the papers, magazines, the Internet.

This wasn't the first award I had received. I had a shelf full back home, along with all of my past badges. They reminded me that, once upon a time, I was just any other office worker with her yellow badge. And now here I was, the director of the project with my black badge working closely with the government.

I got off the stage and moved back to my chair. Jujubee rolled her eyes, but her smile remained.

"Where's the after-party?" I asked as the audience shifted their attention from me.

Sometimes I never understood how she put up with me. "Don't worry. I got us covered."

She wasn't lying. A few hours later, we were in the apartment of some other rich somebody. Music was bouncing off the walls, the speakers apparently on full blast.

The main lights were out, replaced with multicoloured LEDs dancing around the place. It was as if we were in our own private club.

Jujubee and I were in the crowd dancing, but because I was absolutely wasted, I lost her many times.

No need to panic, however. Jujubee wasn't a drinker. So she'd find me. She always did.

I really did feel sorry that she had to deal with all of my shenanigans.

"Juju, where the fuck are you??" I roared, not that it would do much. Midsummer Madness by 88RISING was blaring now. Starting to stress out now.

I grabbed a champagne flute as a waiter walked by.

"Brianna, I love the dress." A woman leaned over and shouted in my ear. I had met her before at another event, a fashion reporter if I remembered correctly.

"Thanks. It's Versaci."

As I said earlier, it was fucking Alexander McQueen. I was faded.

Somehow I ended up in the bathroom, throwing up all the alcohol I had consumed into the toilet. After I finished, I washed my mouth out, looked at my reflection and said, "Baby, you're a star."

And somehow, I made it back downstairs. I was searching for Jujubee but found someone else instead. And it was fucking Ed Sheeran.

"I love your new song." I lied.

"Which one?"

"The new one." I smiled. "Hey, Ed. You wanna be the first person to go through the portal?" I wrapped an arm around him.

He looked absolutely taken aback. "Of fucking course. My manager will be in touch."

I really hoped he was joking. Why the fuck had I even suggested it?

I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Jujubee. My nerves settled, and I leaned closer to her. "Let's go outside."

I had no recollection of making it out to the balcony. The only thing I remembered happening before then was rambling to many strangers about how much I adored Jujubee.

A few other party attendees were outside too. I wanted to tell them how I didn't deserve Jujubee and that she was an angel. But she quickly steered me away.

I looked out over the city, a happy smile on my face.

"Are you having fun, baby girl?" Jujubee asked, using her favourite pet name for me. She sparked up a cigarette. I wanted to ask her for one, having gone from chain smoker to social smoker in recent years. But I was too distracted by the view.

"Yeah. I can feel it, Juju." I replied, looking at my hands. It was almost like I could actually feel it. The euphoric feeling of success running in my veins. "Good things are coming."

"Oh, I feel it too." Jujubee blew out the smoke and followed my gaze. "You know what? Your Grandpa was a great guy. And I know that he's proud of you."

My smile dropped. And I was silent.

I preferred to avoid speaking about things like this. Emotions weren't something I liked to deal with - another difference between Jujubee and me.

Just the year prior, we both went to see Midsommar. During the scene where the main character is having a breakdown on the ground surrounded by the Hargan woman screaming along with her, Jujubee was captivated. She looked almost like she wanted to scream along with them. And as she squeezed my hand and leaned over to me, she said, "I need someone to do that with me." I replied with a quiet, "Can't relate."

I'm not insensitive. I just feared emotions for two reasons.

1. They could be weaponised against me. And as much as I tried not to let the online hate get to me, I knew that if it ever became personal, then it would hit difficult.

2. The most important reason of all; a childhood full of breakdowns and too many emotions.

Jujubee nudged me. "You wanna go?"

I didn't want to. But I said, "Yeah. I'm...so drunk right now," and turned away from the city view.

"Can I be that annoying whore and ask if I can stay at your place?" Jujubee asked, taking my hand.

She didn't even need a reason. "Yes, you can."

We waded our way through the crowd, made for the door and left. And before I knew it, we were back at my place, lying in my bed. I loaned her a t-shirt to sleep in. I wanted to sleep in my Alexander McQueen. But Jujubee wouldn't let me.

We both lay there, facing the ceiling. I could already feel the oncoming suffering. Usually, I loved moments like these, when time became fluid, when I didn't have to worry about how I had even gotten home.

But my head was pounding, and the loud ringing in my ears was the cause. If I was bad now, I'd be dead by morning.

I could feel Jujubee's eyes on me, and I looked back at her. She was smiling, her brown eyes glimmering. "Almost there, girl."

Despite the pain I was in, I smiled back. I knew this whole thing, the thingy, the portal; it wasn't just my dream. It was hers too.

Fuck, I was hammered.

"Almost there," was all I could manage to say.

Jujubee turned on her side and treated me to some cuddly spooning. "OK, go to sleep, loser."

It was straining on my neck, but I kept my head turned, letting my eyes linger for a moment longer. God, I fucking loved that bitch. Nothing was ever going to come between us, and that made me the happiest.

I turned over, my back relaxing against her torso. Then, before giving in to my exhaustion, I checked my phone. The bright light made me squint at first. And the alcohol in my system didn't help matters.

I checked how many people had seen my story now. The number was blurry. So I aimlessly swiped notifications away.

But I stopped at one message in particular.

Blair: Hey Brianna! Long time no speak. I just wanted to say I saw pictures from your thing tonight. Congrats, girl! Look, I know you're probably super busy, but I'd love to have a catch up with you sometime.

"..." My eyes were wide. Now that was a name I hadn't heard in a long time.

1995

"Do you see Cassiopeia yet?" Juju whined.

I was trying my hardest to find it in the telescope. But the stars were all in clutters; there were so many. "No. I think I see the big dipper, though."

"Really? Let me have a turn!" Juju begged.

I pulled away from the telescope, allowing Juju her turn. Usually, I would have refused, only letting her use the scope after finding what I was looking for.

I really hadn't found the big dipper, but Juju bought it. "Wooooow. That's so cool."

"I know, right?" I smirked.

The backdoor opened, and Grandpa came out in his winter jacket, pj's and his signature slippers. "How many have you girls found now?"

He was carrying two mugs of hot chocolate with whipped cream. I cheered excitedly because Grandpa's hot chocolate was the best, and I'd fight anyone who tried to tell me otherwise.

"We found the big dipper. But that's it." Juju replied, sounding very much let down.

"Don't lose hope," Grandpa gave us our hot chocolate, "some are harder to find than others. I bet there are a lot more constellations out there that haven't even been discovered yet."

I sipped the hot drink, and I could feel it already warming me up. I was so tempted to take my gloves off and let the mug warm them up. But we promised my Mom we would stay wrapped up. "Do you think we could discover one?"

Grandpa took a seat on one of the old deck chairs. "Brianna, you can do anything you set your mind to. Anything is possible."

"One day, I wanna get into a rocket ship and fly away," I said, looking up at the night sky, imagining the scene in my head.

"Hey, Mr Caldwell, are there other people like us? Just looking up at the sky?" Juju asked, taking a sip of her hot chocolate.

"That's an interesting question. I'd say yes, what with how nice the sky is tonight," Grandpa let his gaze trail up, the stars reflecting in his eyes, "But did you know, somewhere far, far away, there are two little girls who are exactly like you. They look the same, they talk the same and even have your names. And they are doing exactly what you're doing right now."

My brows knit in confusion, "what do you mean 'far far away?"

Grandpa looked down again, seeing how intrigued Juju and I was. "Let's just call it the other world. It's basically like our world, but...certain things are different. Like," he paused to think, "maybe cats bark and dogs meow. Or, maybe the sky is pink and not blue. Maybe you girls are actually older, and I'm the young one."

"Do horseys fly in the other world?" Juju asked with much optimism.

"Probably. I don't see why not." Grandpa shrugged.

I glanced up at the sky as if I would somehow just see it. Another world where life was somewhat better.

"Would my Mommy and Daddy have given me up in the other world?" I asked quietly.

Grandpa was silent. His lips were pursed, forming a tight line like there were words on the tip of his tongue that he knew he shouldn't say.

Juju hugged me from the side. I wanted to hug her back but didn't want to cry.

Her hold made me feel safe, so I offered her a half-smile.

Since my first day at school, when those cretins had tried to tell me Roberta wasn't my real Mom, it stuck with me. Yeah, I knew deep down those girls didn't know shit, and Roberta was the best Mother in the world, but I was only human.

As much as I loved my Mom, Grandpa and other family members, I just wanted to feel acceptance from my biological parents.

"Brianna, honey, whoever your family is in the other world, I'm sure they love you from the bottom of their hearts. Just like we do." Grandpa said. He extended his arms out, offering me a hug.

I didn't want it. But I knew I needed it.

That night, we didn't find any constellations. Not that it mattered. After my Grandpa went back inside, Juju and I were set on finding the other world instead.

And this interest went on for nearly a whole year.

It sounded dumb, but we would play games where we were our 'other world selves'. Juju lived in a house full of cats, and they were 'cutest cats in the whole country. So cute they won every pageant!'

And I lived in a huge mansion with my Mom, Grandpa, and my biological parents.

We collectively agreed that our other world selves were the prettiest girls in school, and we had tons of friends. We were so cool, we didn't even have to go to school.

Of course, this started a minor argument between us. Juju would always say, "how can we be the prettiest girls at school if we don't have to go to school??"

"Shut up, Juju! Anything is possible in the other world!"

"Yeah, but it doesn't make sense!"

All of it was so ridiculous. But we loved every minute of it.

I'll never forget the time we built a fort in the woods at the back of my house, and Juju stood under the archway and shouted. "I'm the queen of 'Other World'. Beware ye bastards who enter our domain!"

Then she got upset because she said a bad word and thought she had betrayed her parents.

A few minutes later, I fucked up.

"I, Brianna Caldwell, am the Queen of 'Other World'. I sit on this throne along with my best friend, Blair St Clair!"

Juju was even more upset now.

"Why is she your best friend?? I'm your best friend!" She began to cry.

"Jujubee, it's only pretend." I tried to reason with her.

"No, Brie-Brie. You're always talking about Blair! I know you would rather be best friends with her than me!"

"That's not true!"

"It is!" She wept. "She'll never be your friend, Brie-Brie. She doesn't even like you."

"Take that back!"

"No!"

My anger was bubbling beyond the boiling point. So I shoved her over. "Go away. Now!"

Juju ran off crying.

My teeth were grit, my fists clenched. For about 5 minutes, I stormed around the fort, screaming in anger and kicking the ground.

Mom was freaked out. She knew it was me screaming, so she came running. When she found me, she shouted at me for scaring the absolute fuck out of her.

This only pissed me off more. It took her 5 minutes to get me to chill out.

When I finally explained what happened, she told me it was OK and that we'd be friends again the next day.

It didn't help my mood, so she took me to the mall. It was a rare occasion for us to visit the place. We weren't the richest, what with Mom struggling to keep a job. She wasn't a lousy worker; someone else would just come along who was much more experienced. And without another parental figure to help out, it just meant not much money was being brought into the house.

But Mom decided we'd go to the toy store, and I'd find two dolls, one for me and one for Juju. I made sure they looked exactly like us. Well, considering the nice clothes and great hair, they were our other-selves.

And leaving the building, I was perched on Mom's shoulders, eating the biggest ice cream cone I had ever gotten, when I looked over at the jewellery shop. Two women were leaving the store, holding hands. They leaned in close to each other and kissed.

I just...stared as they smiled at each other, mesmerised by the adoration they so clearly shared.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Brianna, baby?"

"Why are those two ladies kissing?"

Mom cast a quick glance to where I was looking. "Oh. OK, first of all, don't stare. It's rude. But yeah, they're just two ladies in love with each other. That's all."

I looked away, just as she told me to do. "They're in love? I thought only boys and girls could be in love."

"I guess they're still telling you that in school, huh?" Mom quipped. "Well, I'll tell you this, but keep it on the down-low 'cause I don't want no parents coming and knocking on my door saying you're putting ideas into their kids' heads." She laughed. "The truth is; boys can fall in love with boys, and girls can fall in love with girls. You fall in love with whoever your heart tells you to, Brianna."

I nodded. "Uh, huh. OK, I understand." But then, it hit me. "Fuck."

"Brianna." Mom warned. She knew I was prone to sometimes spurting a few cuss words. But she only had herself to blame.

"Sorry, Mommy." And as we left the mall, my brain couldn't stop thinking about what had popped into my head.

Maybe, just maybe, I was in love with Blair.

My mind was taking me back to years prior, still in my first year of elementary school. It was coming up to Valentine's Day, and we all had to make a card for someone in the class. Bit of a weird activity for a bunch of kids who were more concerned if they were getting bikes for Christmas or not.

And I slaved over my card, making it yellow instead of the traditional pink colour, and drawing daisies all over it.

The message read, "You really deserve this. You're welcome." I've always been a poetic genius.

And instead of giving it to any of the boys, I insisted it went to Blair.

I had vague memories of that day. I only remembered her confused face as I handed it over.

I never received a card in return.

Of course, the other kids picked on me for it. But Juju had my back.

"You're all just jealous 'cause Brie-Brie's card is unique!" I remember her shouting.

But of course, they weren't jealous. This concept was foreign to them - a girl gifting another girl with a Valentine's Day gift. But then again, they just didn't know any better.

[imaginetrahs]

4. Is this a date or what?

Solana

This morning I woke up around nine o'clock and stayed in bed for a while. Oscar wasn't coming until 12:30 and currently it's only 10.

I got out bed with a heavy sigh, and walked to my closet looking for an outfit. I wanted to look good but not like I'm trying too hard. However, I don't want to look like I didn't try. I decided on a cropped thin strapped tank top with ripped jeans and a light flannel shirt. I looked in the mirror and paused thinking about the weather. I checked my phone and it said 85 degrees. I went to change my outfit, but took a picture first. I ended up trying on three different outfits, took pictures of them, and then sent them to the group chat before hopping in the shower.

Real Hot Girl Shit 🤪

Hot Girl Lana

Which one 😭

Read 10:15

Hot Girl Brae

The first one is really cute but so is the third one 😗

Sent 10:18

Hot Girl Ziy

Where are you going 🤔

Sent 10:20

Hot Girl Lana

Out with Oscar 😬

Read 10:50

Hot Girl Brae

Hot Girl Ziy

Hot Girl Brae

Hot Girl Lana

Ok it is not that serious 🙄

Read 10:58

Hot Girl Ziy

Actually it is

Read 11:05

Go with fit 3 bitch

Read 11:05

Hot Girl Lana

Thanks 😊

Read 11:08

I promise to tell y'all everything later

Read 11:10

After punching the air a few times I got dressed and put some mousse on my braids to lay down any flyaways. I didn't do any special makeup just my eyebrows, some lashes and some lip gloss. I walked out of my room to see Jamal sitting at the table eating cereal.

"Where are you going? Did you put sunscreen on because last time you didn't you got burned and then you cried and had me rub aloe all over you and I don't want to do that again." He got up to put his bowl in the sick and crossed his arms across his chest.

"Yes Jamal, damn." I walked around him to the fridge to grab a water.

"Where are you going?" He continued watching me from the counter.

"Out." I sat on the couch and turned the tv on. Reruns of love and hip hop were on so I decided to just watched that until it was time to go.

"Where?" I sighed and threw my head back on the couch.

"What is this? And interrogation?" I tossed the remote on the coffee table in front of me. "You're not my dad! You always tryna hear something."

Jamal gave me a straight face and I couldn't help but bust out laughing. He did this to himself asking all these damn questions.

"Chill out J." I giggled to myself. "I'm a big girl, I can handle myself."

He rolled his eyes and walked down the hall to his room. I stayed on the couch watching tv for the next hour. I was hungry but decided not eat because I'm pretty sure I'll eat with Oscar.

~

12:30 came and went, Oscar still wasn't here. I waited until 1 o'clock to text him, it's only been thirty minutes but Oscar is very punctual it's sickening. I checked my phone again and seen that my message was left on read.

I twisted my face up and locked my phone. I sunk into the couch thinking that maybe he's busy right now and him leaving me on read is his way of telling me he's still coming.

Unfortunately that wasn't the case, I've sat here for another two hours. I laid down on the couch still watching tv, upset. I heard Jamal come out of his room and into the living room.

"I thought you were going out." He came and sat on my back.

"Yeah me too." I groaned out from under him. "Do you wanna go out? Like to eat or something?"

"Really?" His whole face lit up at my question.

"Yeah," I giggled at him, "why wouldn't I be serious?"

He shrugged his shoulders and got up to put his shoes on. I squint my eyes not believing him then got up myself to put my sandals on.

Before leaving I made Jamal take a picture with me for Snapchat. I captioned it with a red heart and posted it. I grabbed my keys from the key hook and left with Jamal behind me. I waited in the car while he locked the front door and pulled out when he got in the passenger seat.

"Where to brother?" I glanced at him but still kept my eyes on the road. Safety first.

"Let's go to the state fair." I stopped at a red light and looked at him surprised.

"Are you sure because last time you told mom and dad you were going to sue them for child endangerment." I laughed and pulled off to get on the freeway.

"I'm a new man now. I'm stronger," he flexed his arms to show his nonexistent muscles, "I'm taller."

"Right." I nodded at him slowly. "We'll see how much of a 'new man' you are when it's time to get on rides."

For the rest of the drive we sung most of the songs that came on Spotify together. Moments like these are my favorite because as we get older we started to drift apart doing our own thing.

About 45 minutes later we parked and hopped out to get to the ticket booth. It was almost 4 o'clock and the park didn't close until 8 so we had some time. For Christmas last year we were gifted membership passes so we didn't have to pay as much and I'm so thankful for our rich family members.

Looking around the park we tried to decide what we wanted to do first. I haven't eaten yet and I was super hungry, like hungry hungry. I looked around for the food truck that I wanted. They served these really, really good buffalo chicken calzones and then I would just get a bucket of fries from another truck and fried Oreos from another. Be honest, who comes to fairs to ride rides because I don't, I come to eat.

Jamal and I sat at one of the free tables and he watched me eat with a disgusted face.

"You know none of that is good for you and with the pace you're eating at, you're bound to choke." He stopped talking abruptly. "I'm not CPR certified." He whispered to himself.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Oh come on J, chill out. It's like I have to constantly tell you this. Enjoy and indulge in this while you can because once we go back to school it's back to eating prison food."

"I'm pretty sure school food is better than prison food." I huffed and stopped eating.

"That's not the point." I wiped my mouth with the napkins I grabbed. "My point is, enjoy yourself. You're too uptight to be only 14, that's not good. It gives you grey hair early."

"Fine." He sighed and went to reach for my food but I moved it out of his reach.

"What are you doing? All of these vendors and food trucks, and you want my food?" I looked at him like he had two heads. "Go get your own, loser."

~

We've been at the fair for almost four hours and we've ate and played more games than we can count. So far we've won a huge unicorn, big enough for me to sit on, a huge pillow pet and just a bunch of small and medium sized stuffed animals. Since we weren't ready to go yet, I put all of the prizes in a storage locker until we left.

"You ready to go yet?" I looked at Jamal and he looked like he was ready to pass out, truth be told me too. We've been walking around for hours, bumping into people and vice versa, quite frankly I'm tired of it.

"Yeah, you?" He looked back at me and I nodded back at him.

"Let's get a funnel cake before we go?" We both stood up and walked to find the booth that sold funnel cakes. Eventually we found it and stood in line waiting for the few people in front of us.

From the corner of my eye I could see Jamal fidgeting like he wanted to say something. I could feel him glancing at me but not saying anything so I thought I should say something first.

"What is it J?" I turned to him a little, it was enough to let him know he had my full attention.

"What — I don't — what?" He stuttered out.

I pursed my lips and rocked on the heels of my feet waiting for him to tell me. "I don't believe you. So just tell me or rather, I don't know, ask me like a normal person."

He took a minute and finally asked me. "Who were you going out with today?"

I stared at him in disbelief, "that's what you wanted to ask me?" I snorted out a laugh. "I thought you were gonna ask for money 'cause you're in trouble or something. Jeez, J."

He huffed and moved up ordering the funnel cakes for us. I had a feeling he already knew the answer so I didn't bother answering it.

"Are you gonna answer me?" He handed me my cake and we started walking to the front of the fair to grab our things and leave.

"No." I led some guys willing to carry all of the prizes to my car. "I'm pretty sure you already know the answer so...you tell me." I put one hand on my hip while the other held the rest of my cake.

Once the guys were done I tipped them and got in the car. We had a long drive back home because of traffic and it's dark out and people don't know how to fucking drive.

"How did that even happen? Why him of all people?"

To be honest I don't even know myself. Yeah I had a crush on him and yeah he's attractive, very attractive whew. But, the lifestyle he lives is very dangerous, he's older than me, which isn't really a problem I'm eighteen, and he's not really someone my dad would want me to bring home.

"I don't know." I pulled onto the freeway. "It's a long story I guess."

"We got time."

~

We finally arrived home after I spilled my guts about my feelings for Oscar. Surprisingly Jamal didn't say anything about how I felt, because we all know he always has something smart to say.

"I know you're older and you're supposed to look out for me but, you're my only sibling," he took my hand in his, "and I just want you to be safe."

I nodded and squeezed his hand. "Of course. Always."

He nodded back at me and got out the car making his way into the house. My parents were home, I could see their bedroom light on.

I sat in the car for a little while longer not ready to get out yet. My phone went off in the cup holder telling me I had a text message. I looked at it and seen a picture from Braelyn. In the picture it was Oscar, who looked way too high to function, and a girl sitting on his lap. The picture was screenshot from Instagram and it was captioned "Mine 🤪".

I couldn't help but laugh, out of both humor and stupidity. I text back the group chat, "Lmfaooooooo. Bet.", and got out of the car and went inside. I'd get the stuffed animals tomorrow or something, right now I just want to go lay down.

"Hey babygirl." My dad hugged me as I walked in the house. "Jamal told me y'all went to fair. That was nice of you."

"Yeah I thought we should hang before school starts." I kicked my sandals off at the door and grabbed a water from the kitchen. "I'm gonna go to bed, I'm tired.

"Ok, I love you." I repeated it back and went to my room. Today has been a long day.

~

I changed my clothes and then got in bed. I put on Netflix for background noise and check my socials. There wasn't anything special but I watched Jamal's snap and noticed he posted a few pictures of us from the fair.

One picture stood out the most though. It was a picture of me playing the basketball game, I was mid shot with a big smile on my face. It was about 6:30 when it was taken because the sky was a pink-ish orange color and I looked like I was literally glowing. I screenshot it and posted it to my story and locked my phone.

I got another text and seen it was from Oscar. I rolled my eyes and opened it to leave him on read and went back to watching tv. I didn't have time for the tomfoolery, if he didn't want to hang today that's all he had to say instead he stood me up.

"Can I watch tv with you?" I looked up and seen Jamal standing at the door with a disgusted look on his face. "Mom and Dad are...busy and your room is the farthest."

I chuckled and made a space for him on the bed. He climbed in and we watched tv for the next 2 ½ hours. When Jamal got up to leave to his room I laid my head on his shoulder.

"You're my favorite brother."

"I'm you're only brother, Solana."

[punkscowardschampions]

Joe & Ronnie

Joe: Hi Joe: There's no gentle way of doing this, so I'll just get to it, I'm sorry if you don't want to talk about it but you're free to ignore this if that's the case Joe: but I've been looking for my half-sister, and I think its you Ronnie: if youre basing that on a family resemblance youve shot yourself in the face like Ronnie: reload & keep looking Joe: Yeah, I know Joe: but I ain't Joe: Aside from coming at you with what's on any facebook profile anyway Joe: do you know your biological mum's name or? Ronnie: whos used facebook in a decade thats your 1st fuck up Ronnie: 2nd to reckoning my dna is any of your business Joe: who's putting their date of birth and hometown anywhere else? Joe: you were born in [hospital] right? Ronnie: phone numbers on toilet walls getting played out Ronnie: yeah & Joe: then it is you Joe: everything adds up, you have the right birthday, right place, right last name, and first, still Ronnie: right colour Ronnie: miss me with your schoolboy maths Joe: its your bio dad that's black Ronnie: fuck you i know that Ronnie: read my file well before you stalked me Joe: so do you know her name or nah Ronnie: it was in there Joe: Tess Vickers Joe: she is your mum Ronnie: i came out of her Ronnie: shes not my fucking mum Ronnie: id know you if she was Joe: 'course Joe: that's what I meant Ronnie: pick your words more careful soft lad Joe: she don't have any more Joe: I ain't had to do this before, like Ronnie: made up for her Ronnie: & you Ronnie: only took her how many years to claim her bastards Joe: I don't know why she didn't, only what she's said Joe: but if you wanted to ask her, I could set that up Ronnie: if it took her a bit to recover from goin black i don't need to ask her about that Ronnie: got my own experiences cheers Joe: is there anything you do Ronnie: if i had any questions id have chucked 'em at her when i aged out Joe: fair enough Joe: you wanna ask me anything then Ronnie: you old enough to be cleaning out your mas skeletons & seein if theyll dance for you Joe: not what I'm doing Joe: but I'm 19 Ronnie: course she never kept herself stitched up for long Ronnie: got a taste for it like Joe: by all accounts she met my dad the same year she had to give you up so Ronnie: bet he was proper comforting Ronnie: fucking hell Joe: Must've been Ronnie: if she kept you longer than the hour yeah Joe: I've got 3 brothers and a sister too Ronnie: when did she meet their dads Joe: we've got the same, like Joe: youngest is nearly 5 Ronnie: shes still alive then Ronnie: impressive Joe: is it? Joe: suppose so Ronnie: he got cash your sperm donor Ronnie: less dangerous game that one Joe: they both do alright now but you'd probably aim higher if that was the game you were playing Ronnie: shifting gear aint no game now or back then Ronnie: but she was small time Ronnie: that hand to mouth shit Joe: yeah, for years Joe: her dad's debts not helping none Ronnie: hes gotta be dead Joe: yeah Joe: year I was born Joe: so new mouth to feed and inheriting the neverending debts of John Joe: must've seemed like a great time to have more 'cos my brother is only a year younger than me 👍 Ronnie: least you aint inherited his name Ronnie: like i said insatiable Joe: thank fuck Ronnie: piss poor addiction but fuck it Ronnie: shes keeping 'em fed & clothed this time 👏 Joe: gutted social don't hand out round of applauses no doubt Joe: know she is for a fact 'cos she ended up working for 'em, and fostering two poor kiddies in need Joe: what do you reckon to her addiction now? Ronnie: sounds about right theyd left her Ronnie: state of the cunts running that show Joe: mhmm Ronnie: white kids are easier to love Ronnie: its on the posters like Joe: in theory Joe: but this way she gets to be obsessed with you from afar Ronnie: pay me enough & ill come press my face longingly against her windows Joe: I'll keep it in mind for her birthday or something Ronnie: fuck all else you wanna rock my world with or what Joe: Hmm Joe: hold up whilst I trawl a lifetime of overshare for any more tidbits Ronnie: she aint rotting by the roadside or ashes i can snort means my hearts already broken Ronnie: take your time Joe: sorry to disappoint Joe: suppose by the time you got to your file, it told you she'd run away from Liverpool, yeah? Ronnie: bullshit are you Ronnie: youre loving having another cunt to share it with Ronnie: whats the matter dont your brothers & sister wanna play Joe: I'm the favourite Joe: favourite that's about Joe: they got the gist but no file for them Ronnie: 💔 Joe: you said Joe: so, what you saying, you care if I tell her I found you or what? Ronnie: if it feels good do it baby Ronnie: why would i care Ronnie: shes not gonna show up Joe: what if she did? Ronnie: no fixed address Joe: I've told you she loves a cause Joe: say you don't wanna see her Ronnie: shooting the messenger aint no kill shot Ronnie: youre not invested in me Joe: I'm not not, clearly Joe: I'm the one looking, ain't I Ronnie: let her look under every rock with you Ronnie: i hope one bashes her skull in Joe: alright Joe: I'll pass it on Ronnie: good boy Ronnie: get that sticker on your reward chart Joe: god I hope so Ronnie: 🙏 Joe: Your profile says you're in London, still true? Ronnie: i don't need you at my door either Joe: 🙄 Ronnie: roll your eyes at me again Joe: 🙄🙄 Ronnie: 🖕🖕 Joe: 😏 Ronnie: what the fuck do you want Joe: I've told you Ronnie: nah Ronnie: spit it out Ronnie: youre circling around it stop being a pussy Joe: how am I? Ronnie: what do you want for fucks sake Joe: meet you Ronnie: its not happening Joe: why not Ronnie: i hate that you exist Ronnie: that she got a 2nd chance & i didnt get 1 Joe: that's fair Joe: you can hate me in person Ronnie: i aint goin to prison for killing you Ronnie: you wish Joe: yeah Joe: oh well Ronnie: take your death wish home Ronnie: or on a different part of the internet Joe: awh, cheers for the sisterly advice Ronnie: shut your mouth Ronnie: i ain't your sister Joe: kk Ronnie: dumping all your bullshit on me dont make us related Joe: we are Joe: you not wanting it don't fight biology Ronnie: her not wanting me cancels it all out Joe: not to me Ronnie: i give a shit how you feel Ronnie: youre a stranger with fuck all i want Joe: you ain't checked what I've got Ronnie: until facebook adds income i dont care Joe: 💔 Ronnie: you must look like your da Ronnie: dont be Joe: well you look like her Joe: not that I've seen yours Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: i dont Joe: yeah you do Joe: [sends pics] Ronnie: shut up Joe: alright Joe: catch you around then Ronnie: get it through your head Ronnie: you wont Joe: what you scared for Ronnie: youre having fun trying to mess me up Ronnie: that aint how i get mine Joe: I'm seriously not Joe: I've got the message though, alright Ronnie: youre seriously throwing all this shit at me like im gonna smile as i eat it Ronnie: what the fuck Joe: I don't expect fuck all Joe: I just wanna know you but if you don't then that's alright Joe: I won't message again Ronnie: bullshit Ronnie: you aint asked about me Ronnie: you wanna bitch about 'em Joe: that's why I wanna meet you Joe: I've thrown enough questions at you for one convo Ronnie: nah you wanna meet me to see if i proper look like her Joe: I've got eyes Ronnie: if thats what you reckon you see they dont fucking work Ronnie: get down the social & claim Joe: you're fine, its not dead ringer levels Ronnie: im fucking fine cause theres none of her in me Joe: I'm glad for you Ronnie: were not family save your lies Ronnie: i dont need any blows softened Joe: its only me bitching Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: & you can save your tears Ronnie: you already cant see fuck all like Joe: what do you want? Ronnie: too late to give a fuck Ronnie: youve shit over me with this Joe: I'm sorry Ronnie: nah Ronnie: sorry for yourself aint the same Joe: Why would I be sorry for me? Joe: I got everything Ronnie: not how youre framing it Joe: why would you believe me Ronnie: not hard to believe mummy dearest loves me best Ronnie: not like she dumped me fast as she could & legged it Joe: she weren't allowed to keep you, she was 14 with a junkie non-dad to look after you both Ronnie: & what she didnt get any older or get her shit together Ronnie: fuck that Joe: did you want her to come 'round and pick you up 4 years later? Ronnie: she had you cunts instead Joe: so she comes and gets you and the social come with and see the fake bailiffs and the bashed in door and we all go back with you Joe: I see the appeal Ronnie: you reckon i had it better Ronnie: thats what this nancy drew bullshit is about Joe: nice one, genius Joe: in what world is that adding up Ronnie: yours Ronnie: in what world would i have not gone with any cunt to get me out of that place then Joe: I'm telling you why she didn't get you, not telling you why you wouldn't wanna be there Ronnie: youre giving me both Ronnie: cant help yourself Joe: they're the same reason Joe: if she tried to get you, they'd say nah 'cos her life was a mess, simple as Ronnie: & yet here you are Ronnie: not a care kid a single day in your fucking life Ronnie: so like i said she got her shit together in the end Joe: she was 18 when I came around and we got taught how to say the right thing to socials and how to shut our mouths the rest Joe: but that's just what she told me Joe: she probably didn't want you, looking back Ronnie: why would she Ronnie: had a new set up with a cunt that stayed Ronnie: cuter kids Joe: 'cos she loved your da the way only a 14 year old girl can Joe: pro and a con in your favour Joe: does she want the reminders or does she not Ronnie: not Ronnie: youre the only pussy walking memory lane Ronnie: aint her looking Joe: yeah, s'me, so why you chatting at me like I'm the one that fucked you off Joe: not productive Ronnie: cause you are Joe: I've gone to leave loads now Joe: you've clearly got shit to say Joe: so just say it at me, I've already offered that n'all Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: i didnt ask for this Ronnie: she was in the ground for all i knew Joe: she still can be Joe: I ain't telling Ronnie: nah you opened your gob & let all that shite out Ronnie: i couldve been about to slit my throat or pull a shift Joe: you could've easily found out she weren't dead yourself too Ronnie: what should it tell you that i didnt Joe: ignorance ain't such bliss I've tipped you over the edge Ronnie: you dont know shit Ronnie: how does yours feel Joe: how do you think Ronnie: i think you should ask if people have got time & space to spin out before you fuck with their heads Ronnie: i think you should go suck a dick mckenna Joe: why should I? Joe: no one asked me and I owe you shit Ronnie: she owes me Ronnie: youre nothing Ronnie: you dont see me knocking cause im not looking for answers & theres fuck all else to collect by the sounds of it Joe: then fucking collect Ronnie: talk to your ma like that Joe: hit me up when you stop being scared Ronnie: keep it up and ill smash in your face Joe: how Joe: you don't wanna meet Ronnie: dont flatter yourself nancy drew Ronnie: i can still kick your door in Ronnie: be like the baliffs are back Ronnie: you can revisit your childhood Joe: now who wants to go for a jaunt down memory lane Ronnie: you wish Joe: 🙏 Ronnie: i reckon your imaginary friends gotta be sick of your bullshit by now Joe: no doubt, nancy drew Ronnie: we cant both be nancy Joe: alright you be sid then Ronnie: still not gonna kill you baby Ronnie: but youre getting warmer Joe: I know, stalked you, remember Ronnie: get a hobby or habit mckenna Ronnie: your little misery boners aint cute Joe: oh I got plenty of thoses Joe: your concern is, kinda Ronnie: youve thrown me into the big sister deep end Ronnie: sounds like how you want it Joe: very obliging Ronnie: unloved kids get it where they can Ronnie: thats on the back of the poster Joe: trust, I know Ronnie: 💔 Joe: not me Joe: never mind, not my sob story to hit you with Ronnie: you only wanna share yours Joe: maybe when we get cosy I'll divulge all the family secrets, sis Ronnie: maybe if you chat shit like that to me again ill choke on my puke Joe: n'awh Ronnie: kill yourself Joe: sure thing Ronnie: very obliging Joe: it was already in the diary tbh Joe: but I'll pop you in the note if that makes you feel 💘 Ronnie: show me yours & ill show you mine Joe: deal Ronnie: 💘 Ronnie: [skippity skip] Ronnie: pick me up Joe: where from Ronnie: [location that's sketchy as all hell] Joe: alright Joe: that should take me 'bout half an hour this time of day Ronnie: im not goin anywhere mckenna Joe: you alright Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: got it Joe: 🚖 📵 Ronnie: important for you to know your place Joe: must be popular with the cabbies 👑 Ronnie: yeah im on a ban Ronnie: look out for my picture hanging Joe: what did you do Joe: vom and not pay the fine one too many times? Ronnie: we taking another trip down memory lane Ronnie: i aint 12 Joe: go on then, what was it Ronnie: the cunt crashed its fuck all to get excited about Joe: did you get hurt? Ronnie: didnt feel it Joe: what about the driver Ronnie: i reckon he felt it Joe: fucked you're stuck with the tube then Joe: 💔 Ronnie: cheers motherfucker Ronnie: cant you drive Joe: 'course I can Joe: where'd your license go, got a story for that and all or? Ronnie: car theft would be a dead good sibling bonding activity Ronnie: but i dont need your help to break a window Joe: another time Ronnie: nah Ronnie: next time some other cunt will pick me up Joe: good thing I didn't specify Joe: tah for keeping me well in the loop of your schedule though Ronnie: other shit in the diary besides blowing my brains out Ronnie: can move it up if you aint gonna shut up Joe: 🤐 Joe: you can keep all your dates Ronnie: made up i am Joe: no need to say thanks, I feel it Ronnie: you wanted to meet up Ronnie: wish granted Joe: I know Joe: reckon blue would suit Ronnie: what Joe: genie Joe: you owe me 2 more, yeah? Ronnie: rubbing me up the wrong way dont count Joe: damn Ronnie: i can do black & blue Joe: changed your mind then Joe: my 🍀 day Ronnie: you got the accent Ronnie: my head cant do subtitles Joe: not really Joe: not proper Joe: some of my younger ones do but they can barely remember Liverpool Ronnie: nothing to be 💔 about Ronnie: its a shithole Joe: least its a shithole with some history Joe: we moved to a newbuild shithole so Joe: win some lose some Ronnie: your boner for history aint that big Joe: you checked what I'm studying? 😏 Ronnie: you dont post about fuck all else Joe: I'm barely outta freshers let me have it Ronnie: dont give me the flu Joe: thought that was just a euphemism Joe: either way, on my life Ronnie: fuck knows Joe: not as much fun as people chat, shockingly Ronnie: what is Ronnie: the shit that feels good is the shit youre meant to keep your mouth shut about Joe: hear hear Ronnie: 💘 Joe: 💘 Joe: you live there or am I picking you up from a mates Ronnie: neither Joe: alright Ronnie: drop me on the other side Joe: no problem Ronnie: then you can go back to wanking over symphonies Joe: you wanna help me with my homework Joe: so nice Ronnie: what are big sisters for Joe: yeah Ronnie: shits fucked up Joe: right Joe: but you can be more specific Ronnie: nah i cant Joe: don't know where to start? Ronnie: it starts with being born Joe: okay, so the starts the easy bit Joe: the middle Joe: we don't have time Ronnie: we aint gonna trauma bond mckenna youve been beaten to it Joe: ah you got a troubled boyfriend Joe: that's cool Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: you heard me say i aint 12 Joe: you know what I mean Ronnie: not very nancy drew if you reckon im that bitch Joe: we can't both be sid Ronnie: touche baby Joe: 💘 Ronnie: im gonna carve up this cunt if you dont pull me out Ronnie: & thatll make him feel too special Joe: who? Joe: I'm nearly there Ronnie: my not boyfriend Ronnie: dont waste romance like that on strangers Joe: sensible Joe: just carve anything but 💘 and he shouldn't get too clingy Ronnie: whats the symphony that gets you off fastest Ronnie: ill do that Joe: Khachaturian's Sabre Dance works as a play on words and should get him to crescendo 👌 Ronnie: hot Joe: orchestra nerds get all the bitches Ronnie: yeah Joe: you aren't a catfish, are you Joe: I mean, I'll recognize you Ronnie: look for your mas face Joe: fuck it, therapy overdue anyway Ronnie: fuck you for saying that Ronnie: making it go round my head Joe: I shouldn't have said that Ronnie: i should stab you Ronnie: all these pieces of mirror Ronnie: fuck him Joe: you can, long as you keep it shallow, or don't mind swinging by the hospital Ronnie: i dont get my kicks at a&e Joe: you'll have to play nice then Ronnie: youll get too clingy Joe: avoid the 💘 Ronnie: some other bitch can have the honours Joe: or has Joe: don't I seem 💔 Ronnie: dont need to hear how you lost your virginity mckenna Joe: noted Joe: save that trip down memory lane for private time Joe: me and mozart Ronnie: explains a shit ton if the conductor is molesting you Ronnie: but not gonna be the sister who tells him where to put that stick he waves about Joe: Mozart was pretty fucked up but I don't reckon it went that far Ronnie: i dont know him 💔 Ronnie: there was a Moz here earlier fuck knows if theyre any relation Joe: You're more a Liszt type, called it Ronnie: what the fuck kind of fuck you is that Joe: 😂 Joe: actually he's considered the world's first rock star, I was being nice Ronnie: shut up Joe: what, you ain't seen the ken russell film with daltrey in? Joe: have a word Ronnie: get a life Joe: tomorrow Joe: maybe Ronnie: i cant fucking believe it had to be you Ronnie: thank fuck i already aint showing my face here again Joe: thought you said you weren't 12 Joe: but I don't need to come in if you don't wanna be embarrassed in front of your mates Ronnie: i said my mates aint here Joe: no need to tell me why you're there Ronnie: where the fuck are you Joe: just got out, 5 minutes Ronnie: i need to get out Ronnie: move it like Joe: alright Joe: come find me then, make it go faster Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: what's wrong Ronnie: if my body would do what it was told i wouldnt need you Ronnie: cant even paint you a fucking picture Joe: right Ronnie: theres a shit load of stairs yeah Ronnie: i cant do 'em Joe: if you're fat I swear to god Ronnie: calm your tits nancy drew Ronnie: you know thats bullshit Joe: I'll trust you ain't catfishing then Ronnie: thats my next tat Ronnie: all for you baby Joe: sweet Ronnie: hurry up Joe: I am Joe: [show up boy] Ronnie: [when you're just there like damsel in distress which ain't you so it makes it more awks] Joe: [what a first meeting just having to carry her away from god knows where like] Ronnie: [just like we don't know each other but just carry me to your vehicle thanks] Joe: [just doing it silently like this is normal] Ronnie: [since I cant find a pic she should go get that tattoo now just casually drag him along] Joe: [once you get the use of your limbs back lol] Ronnie: [lbr its blatantly someone sketchy she knows the state of them all] Joe: [god bless] Ronnie: [when I know its gotta go on her face somewhere cos #triggered by looking like Tess and I'm just screaming like NOOO] Joe: [my boo is horrified and Joe too] Ronnie: [soz you're so cute bitch and you wanna look so ugly] Joe: [lowkey dread to think how annoying the heal time is on a face tat] Ronnie: [blasting that orchestra bop he mentioned earlier as loud as poss cos yeah you searched for it and yeah you don't wanna hear your thoughts or have a convo] Joe: [when you don't run like you should 'cos you too are a crazy person] Ronnie: [match made in heaven lol] Joe: [🔥😈] Ronnie: [does he have any tattoos I have forgotten] Joe: [Oh, I don't think so??? but he probably would in a self-destructive manner too, as long as they could be hidden like his self-harm like go ahead] Ronnie: [just thinking get one now if you want boy #bonding] Joe: [yolo] Ronnie: [ooh what should it be] Joe: [the real question, hmm] Ronnie: [perfect excuse to be staring at each other while that's happening though cos you can't be moving all about] Joe: [but of course] Ronnie: [Joe can move around more cos not on his fucking head but] Joe: [probably get a cherry or something for the lols] Ronnie: [love that for you Joseph]

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Oi Janis: I've got a great idea Jimmy: Go on Janis: If we have to go on these dates and shit to make it credible, it should at least be profitable, yeah? Janis: gotta get something out of it, aside from being left alone, like Jimmy: you offering to pay me, rich girl? Jimmy: tah very much Janis: Ha, no Janis: should've done that upfront, no hidden costs lad Janis: but apparently, if we go in these places, say its one of our birthdays, we can get free shit Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: free shit like drinks or free shit like a song? Janis: Free like you ain't gonna have to sing for your supper Janis: depends how convincing you reckon you can be Jimmy: Put upon boyfriend out celebrating his spoilt gf's birthday isn't that much of a stretch for me Jimmy: been there, worn the matching coupley t-shirt Janis: How spoilt can I really be if I'm fine with free cake and shit Janis: but alright, be my birthday first Jimmy: the free cake is a bonus on top of all the #goals shit we've been doing before & will keep doing after that we'll talk loudly about in front of our even more put upon server Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Of course Janis: definitely don't get paid enough and tipping kind of goes against what we're doing here, soz Jimmy: If they do a top job with their bit of the performance could always slip 'em Pete's number and see if he'll let 'em in band Jimmy: be classed as the ultimate gift that Janis: nice that your #solidarity extends beyond caffiene based services Janis: dunno who died and made you his manager Jimmy: gutted that you'd have to kill many a groupie to have your go Jimmy: 💔💔💔💔💔 Jimmy: bitter as the CG's cup of the day you, mate Janis: Bitch please Janis: have you seen me Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: and here you are having ideas that'll mean I see more of you Janis: Erm, definitely YOUR idea Jimmy: all these dates were nowt to do with me Jimmy: I don't bother with my real birthday Janis: Nah, idiot Janis: one date Janis: hit as many places as we can Janis: see who can get the best shit Jimmy: and see who voms first Jimmy: but alright Jimmy: I'm in Janis: That's a thing you do? Janis: thanks for the warning, I suppose but not gonna hold back your hair still Jimmy: did you not get the memo about me being Mia protege? I'll resend it's a decent read Jimmy: we got jackets but I can't fit in mine yet #motivation Janis: 😂 Janis: should know she likes to leave me out as much as she thinks about me Janis: treat 'em mean is her whole #mood, obvs Jimmy: but I love to include you Judy 😍😍😍 Jimmy: must've missed that memo myself Janis: Has she not rushed to correct you and stake claims? Janis: Disappointing Jimmy: not til I reach my goal weight, dear Jimmy: multitasking uses more braincells than she's got functioning Janis: 💔💔💔💔💔 Janis: for you or for her, who knows Jimmy: sharesies 💕 Janis: 🤢 Janis: don't trigger me Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: When we doing this then? Janis: When can you Janis: I ain't eat yet Jimmy: gimme like an hour Jimmy: two max Janis: 👍 Janis: where you at or we meeting in town Jimmy: Go buy yourself a badge and party hat Jimmy: I'll meet you there Janis: 😑 Janis: really Jimmy: convincing you said Janis: I know but are we convincing them that I'm 6, like Janis: you want the kids menu you can ask Jimmy: if you wanna swap roles, say the word, Jill Jimmy: I look sexy af in a sash Janis: I'll get you one then Janis: help me win Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: You'll need all the help you can get to beat me Janis: Confident now you've secured a costume Janis: you do you, boy Jimmy: such a #hater you Janis: just a natural-born winner Jimmy: Easy to say Jimmy: We ain't hitting up your daddy's place, rich girl Jimmy: You're gonna have to do something Janis: 🙄 Janis: yeah that was the plan Janis: fake meet the fam is too much Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Janis: Yeah yeah Jimmy: save your enthusiasm for your fake birthday bash, babe Janis: You could save your tears for when they might get us more freebies too Janis: just so you know Jimmy: I thought you wanted to be the winner Jimmy: make your mind up Janis: I could heroically cheer you up Janis: get with the times Jimmy: am I meant to be crying 'cause you've survived the year 🔪 or 'cause you didn't get any hotter? 👵💕 Janis: Do you wanna survive the meal, darling Janis: that's the real question Jimmy: if the food's better than the company, might do Janis: 🖕 Janis: why I should be crying Janis: just need to be convincingly dating Janis: not old married couple Janis: much to your disappointment, I know Jimmy: yeah I've got the full orchestra playing as we speak Janis: Gonna stick with my workout playlist if it's all the same to you Jimmy: 🤤 Janis: I'm sure Janis: Like you said, those calories don't purge themselves Jimmy: Mhmm, we don't need to fake date so hard you get fat, that's #goals for nobody Janis: You ain't that fake special, babe Janis: 💔 Jimmy: Too soon for a food baby vs fake pregnancy guessing game either so keep at it with the workouts, girl Janis: You're trying to give the wrong twin a complex, boy Janis: works dead good on her though, if you wanna change your mind on how interested you are Jimmy: she free in an hour or two? Janis: ask her Jimmy: hang on then Janis: no need Janis: in the clear if you've changed your mind Jimmy: damn she's washing Mia's hair Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: you'll have to do Janis: not the first time she's let me down Janis: s'alright Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: How fancy are the restaurants we're hitting? Jimmy: [sends pic of what he's wearing with a 👍 on one hand and a 👎 on the other like yay or nay] Janis: Not Janis: so 👍 Janis: can leave the tux in the cleaners, like Jimmy: another night slumming it, eh?  can leave your 🐎 at home too then, sweetheart Janis: not setting up the world's shittest joke, tah Janis: 🐎🍻 Jimmy: You'd need a sense of humor for that Jimmy: and a better venue 🍽 doesn't have the same #bants Janis: I'll laugh at all your 'jokes' when there's people around to hear Janis: not exclusive to fake relationships that's just standard, burst your bubble Jimmy: 😍💕😍😍💕 Janis: Ugh, you're keen Jimmy: you had me at freebies 💘 Jimmy: just a poor boy pretending to love a girl over here Janis: asking her to pretend love him back Janis: seen the film, got the memo Jimmy: clocking up all the hours you won't get back you Janis: Obviously Janis: hoping god's keeping track Jimmy: you gonna make me say grace over the 🍞🍷 Jimmy: 'cause we established your sister ain't free even for 3 times and a mirror Janis: Maybe Janis: actually have to take this serious then Janis: do your homework, kid Jimmy: bubble bursting's your fave but I'll be the one to tell you he ain't #real if you need 🎅 too Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Is for rich kids, ain't you heard Janis: #blessed ain't just a # babe Jimmy: you'd know Janis: exactly Jimmy: tah for the inside scoop on what I coulda had, mate Janis: you seem very interested Janis: keep bringing it up so Janis: welcome Jimmy: in your 💰💰💰 yeah, I am Jimmy: gonna ask you to fake marry me asap Janis: soz, don't actually need a beard Jimmy: better not drop the 💍 in your dinner later then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't be discouraged Janis: plenty of others left Jimmy: 🙏🙏 Jimmy: lucky me Jimmy: You're right, Jenna, #blessed ain't just a # Janis: I know Janis: keep up Jimmy: 🏃 Janis: could use it Janis: new boy shine won't last forever Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: won't need you then Janis: 🤞 Janis: let's hope so or you'll have to think of a way to make this worthwhile Jimmy: so romantic and so threatening 💕 Janis: that's me Jimmy: 😍 Janis: Idiot Jimmy: Save the sweet talk Janis: You're gonna have to do better Jimmy: nowt better than your pillowtalk baby Janis: 😂 Janis: you wish Jimmy: I ain't wishing for owt but 🎂 Jimmy: I've not ate either Janis: you at work Jimmy: nah Jimmy: I opened Janis: bummer Janis: could've started off the freebies unofficial, like Jimmy: full of good ideas you Jimmy: you ain't tasted most of the shit in the cabinet though 💀💀💀 Janis: I ain't scared, boy Jimmy: weren't a challenge Janis: 🤷 Janis: boring Jimmy: piss off Janis: alright Janis: in a bit then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [during] Janis: socials are popping off Janis: 💪 Jimmy: 🏆 Jimmy: do my victory lap now, like Janis: stop by the bar on your way then Janis: 🥃 is empty Jimmy: [does but let's say he's talked his way into some kind of 🍸freebie so he's 😏] Janis: can't stop winning, like Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt girl Janis: lemme taste it first Janis: usually more sugar than booze Jimmy: I didn't make it, June, I blagged it Janis: letdown Janis: leave it off socials that there's an end to your talents, obvs Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: I'll make you one in a bit if you're 💔 Janis: cool it tom cruise Janis: it's alright Jimmy: I know you ain't gutted I ain't that short Janis: [is 😏] Janis: true, way too many nice points in ignoring that and getting with you anyway Janis: not trying to be sainted for my new rep Jimmy: yeah yeah 😈 you Jimmy: [a flirty look cos we all know what's up] Janis: [returns it duh even if you're drinking that drink faster now] Janis: got to that point in the date have we Jimmy: [nods to whoever is coming to clear the plates as if he planned that but obvs didn't] Jimmy: might as well milk our last chances before we're onto the next Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [just a look like mhmm] Janis: go on then Janis: I'll go freshen up or whatever it is I'm meant to do and you try get us some doggy bags or something Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: [leans across the table & said plates which are being cleared to kiss her like they are one of those obliviously loved up couples] Janis: [being that bitch like sorry but not when you get up to go like the poor waitress is meant to be #invested 'cos you also know the type, least they are actually cute but still] Jimmy: [clearly does score something for them cos this place is extra if they giving out 🍸] Janis: I'm coming back 'cos any longer they'll think I'm taking a dump Janis: not very goals Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: time to move along anyway, my dear Janis: [comes back and has taken her hair down to show she's been doing 'freshening' 'cos I wanna ha] Jimmy: [when she looks really fucking good so he's trying not to stare at her & basically throws the freebies at her cos] Janis: [walking away lads heist of the century] Janis: s'alright, giving me your jacket is probably a bit cliche, like Jimmy: my jacket ain't got nowt you can eat in the pockets Jimmy: [waves a 🚬 at her tho cos is in there & asking if she wants] Janis: [does] Janis: you a feeder or just trying to 💀 me now Jimmy: You'll have to pay to unlock my kinks Jimmy: [lights her up though cos never can stop himself] Janis: [does a little amused lol] Janis: just saying, solid out with Mia and co Jimmy: Tah, I'll run with it Jimmy: had to break up with you 'cause you're too 💪 and won't over-eat for me Jimmy: 💔💔🎻🎻💔 Janis: and you're short and have a complex Janis: cool Jimmy: and you fancy Cruise and wish I was Jimmy: soz babe Jimmy: should've twigged when your idea of netflix and chill was so him heavy Janis: Not only are you tryna make me fat, it's you who's stopping me wearing heels Janis: out of order, tbh babe Jimmy: nobody's believing you wanna wear heels Jimmy: platform trainers maybe Janis: that's the whole point of this init Janis: new year new me 💁💯 Jimmy: [does a 🙄] Janis: See Janis: total Napolean, you Jimmy: You wish Jimmy: so thirsty for midgets you Janis: makes fake dating you easier, yeah Jimmy: [playfully shoves her as he pulls her into the next place] Janis: [maybe there's a bit of a queue so they have to stand there and wait and be gross and couply in the doorway for all to see, just leaning on him casually] Jimmy: [yeah cos then he can play with her hair when he's kissing her etc which you know is a mood since she took it down] Janis: [should defs be the place that ain't having it after waiting] Jimmy: [agreed but they ain't that mad secretly cos this wait is fun 😏] Janis: ok this waitress is immune to charm Janis: we're bailing before the bill Jimmy: yours Jimmy: if I'd have done it you'd be tucking into a sundae with a sparkler by now Janis: your delusions ain't making me feel better Jimmy: your whinging ain't doing owt for me, funnily enough Jimmy: let's do one Janis: I'm ordering the most expensive dessert on this menu first Jimmy: it'll take ages to show up Jimmy: their customer service is for shit Janis: wanna go complain to their manager, babe Janis: let it hit the table first, I'm not eating food that's been gobbed in for you Jimmy: not one of your kinks? I'll only spit in your mouth if you really annoy me then Janis: yeah try it Janis: dickhead Jimmy: I'll be outside Jimmy: find me when you're done Janis: really Jimmy: there's no need to be #goals in here Jimmy: [leaves the table without a word like a rude hoe but we know you're gonna be back cos will be ages lol] Janis: are you trying to dash and leave me with the bill Jimmy: would that be the bill you said you're bailing on? Janis: yeah but are you bailing on me first Janis: that's such bad manners Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: I've gone outside not home Janis: just 'cos you know I can run faster than you Janis: if you need a headstart, just say Jimmy: 'cause I'm still hungry, nowt to do with you, girl Janis: then come in and order something Janis: we ain't paying, remember Janis: go big Jimmy: I can't read, remember Jimmy: too northern Jimmy: order for me Janis: you sure? Janis: no need to be goals in here and pretend I know your taste so well Jimmy: not up for this specific challenge? Jimmy: losing it, mate Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Shut up Janis: I'll do it Jimmy: 😘 Janis: also you owe me 🚬 Jimmy: Come here then Janis: I'm patiently waiting for your food Jimmy: You've got time Jimmy: [waves at her from outside like come on] Janis: [shrugs like alright 'cos why not, feeling like a fool sat there anyway] Jimmy: [watching her come to him lowkey like 😏] Janis: ['it'll fall out' in ref to the 🚬 in his mouth] Jimmy: [lights her cos will until the day they both quit just facts] Janis: [nods like cheers] Jimmy: [keeping an eye out for the food they not gonna pay for 'cause looking at her would mean a LOOK and he's already done one earlier] Janis: ['Hope you're as hungry as you say you are'] Jimmy: [on his phone now like a rude hoe like we know he's checking on the kids but Janis don't 'Starved' cos lbr probably is thanks Ian you slack bitch] Janis: [when you're mad but you aren't gonna say you're mad lmao] Jimmy: [🚬 & texting looking like the rudest bitch ever when really you're promising Cass & Bobby cake cos they deserve that] Janis: ['Popular?' bit rude to say it like a question but you know he ain't] Jimmy: ['You said it, our posts are. I've got new boy and birthday boy shine combined, tah for that'] Janis: ['Frees you for your actual' shrugs 'who doesn't like free shit, come on'] Jimmy: [still glued to his phone 'Could be anywhere by then but if Mia and Co are still stalking, I'll keep the lie going, highkey for highkey'] Janis: [shrugs, 'they are pretty committed' and puts her 🚬 out on the wall as she goes back in] Jimmy: [follows her in after ignoring her cos I love a mixed signal] Janis: [food should still not be there for awks] Jimmy: [100%] Jimmy: [doodling cos art hoe forever, this time on the condensation on his glass with a finger] Janis: [pours salt on the table and draws noughts and crosses grid 'cos this place sucks so can be as messy as you wanna] Jimmy: [smiles when he notices cos that nerd & takes his go as ✖] Janis: [tie #1] Janis: [Janis win] Janis: [Jimmy win Janis: [Food finally arriving and my vibe was out of his comfort zone but something swag 'cos knows food] Jimmy: [gives a look like wtf & is ready to hate it obvs & be moody but tastes it & its clearly good so unlucky] Janis: [😏] Jimmy: [flicks a spoonful at her cos not tryna start a full fight cos wants to eat it but 😒] Janis: [#outraged and gets some cream from her sundae and puts it on his nose] Jimmy: [when you scrape it off and then lick your finger in a saucy manner] Janis: [When you look bemused like 'thought we weren't putting on a show?'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like 'practice makes perfect' and then gets them to recreate it for the 'gram] Janis: ['Alright, highkey for highkey' at least you get to be 'fake' into it for the 'gram] Jimmy: [when you're so into it 'for the story' hahahaha] Janis: have you done this before? Jimmy: eaten whatever the fuck this is? Not up north, Jasmine Janis: 🙄 Janis: dined and dashed, genius Jimmy: haven't you? Janis: I asked you, boy Janis: but no Janis: who wants to be that rich girl cliche Jimmy: it's a poor lad necessity Jimmy: beg, borrow or steal your pastry based 5 a day Janis: You can take the lead then and we don't have to call it a head start or nothing Jimmy: we can call it handholding you through rich girl, 'cause that's what it is Janis: Leave now if you wanna be patronizing Janis: it ain't hard Jimmy: Go freshen up and use your athletic skills to leave out the window Jimmy: won't be hard for you Janis: Say bye now then Janis: ✌ Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [run bitch run] Jimmy: [likewise do your thing boyyy] Jimmy: piss easy when you know how Janis: alright Janis: it was fun but only 'cos they deserved it Janis: where'd you end up? Jimmy: so moral you 🙏😇🙏 Jimmy: [location which is right by the next place they should hit but he's always lost lol] ?? Janis: you already knew me and the big man were tight Janis: right, go in the pub like a few buildings down Janis: be there soon Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: missing you already 💕😍😘 Janis: 😂 Janis: drown your sorrows, babe Jimmy: 🍻 sláinte Janis: Look at you Janis: practically native Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: depressive drinking is what unites us all, tbh Jimmy: 😂 Janis: [showing up, let us assume she ran in the opposite direction] Jimmy: [when yet again you have to stop yourself looking at the cute bae but at least you got the drinks in so you can shove that at her] Janis: [IRL sláinte] Jimmy: [clink them glasses kids] Janis: [a snap/story moment if ever there was] Jimmy: [just cos she wants to make him say 🍀 with his accent lol] Janis: [still loling tbh] Jimmy: [when you then notice some food in her hair from when you flicked it at her so you get it out and there's a shameless moment] Janis: ['can't take you anywhere, like'] Jimmy: ['can fake it everywhere, though'] Janis: ['wow, pop that on your tinder'] Jimmy: [gives her an IRL 👍] Janis: [literal shaking of head, hopefully you dislodge any other food lol] Jimmy: [not into your drink tho that'd be grim] Janis: ['d'ya move 'round lots then?'] Jimmy: [his turn to shake his head 'I was born in the house we lived in before my dad dragged us here'] Janis: ['what makes you so sure you'll be off again then?' a gloriously blunt bitch lmao] Jimmy: ['got to that bit of the date now, have we?' cos word thief & gives her the same look she gave him too but a bit more 😒 cos its him] Janis: ['You'd prefer we were back playing footsie, like?'] Jimmy: [lols cos lbr yeah he would] Janis: [get a round in b] Jimmy: [they should get free shots which they then 'gram/snap for the brag] Janis: ['You're keeping up alright, lad'] Jimmy: ['You said it yourself, it ain't just you Paddys that handle their drink'] Janis: ['Not coming for your pride, but you can spare the sob story, like; 'less you wanna make it an actual story'] Jimmy: ['So chatty you. Unlocked a Juliet kink without even trying there, like' taking shots like its his job] Janis: [Punches him in the arm but gentle-ish please] Jimmy: [is all like 'oi!' so offended & playful shove & messes her hair up cos can't hit her can you lad] Janis: ['knew it'd all end in tears' and fake wipes his eyes to show his, obvs] Jimmy: [when its a playfight but also a moment cos we see how flirty af this is getting guys] Janis: [gonna have to get another punter/bartender to say something so y'all stop 'cos] Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Janis: I know Janis: I KO'd you Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: You made a holy show of yourself girl, what would Jesus say? 😱😱 Janis: He likes 'em feisty Jimmy: code for down with a toe in the mouth that Janis: [lols] Janis: That's blasphemy Jimmy: let him KO me then Jimmy: you missed your chance, mate Janis: If you're asking to get hit by lightning, wait 'til I'm gone Janis: not going down with you, mate Jimmy: So fake Juliet 💔💔💔 Jimmy: am gonna cry now, like Janis: Poor boy Janis: you didn't get the memo Jimmy: You know I can't read Jimmy: 😭😭😭😭 Janis: I'll get you an audible account as a parting gift Jimmy: tah Jimmy: that really softens the blow of you going Janis: mhmm Janis: listen to all the great love stories you like Jimmy: [is literally graffiting their initials in a love heart somewhere rn excuse him] Jimmy: You're the great romantic, load up my queue so I know it's real 💕 Janis: [just 😏] Janis: sure Mia comes here all the time, like Janis: can see it now Jimmy: I get that vibe from her Janis: packet of pork scratchings and she's yours Janis: deffo Jimmy: 🤤 Janis: [ripping up a beer-mat] Janis: she don't do boyfriends, you know Janis: you should just bang her, keep the others away Jimmy: [does vomming sounds dramatically] Jimmy: she'd be into that but I don't wanna know her kinks either Janis: [shrugs but is shamelessly pleased] Jimmy: [throws some of the beer mat pieces up like confetti] Janis: Subtle Jimmy: [is 😏] Janis: Maybe you can change her, boy Janis: [making casual mosaic with some pieces] Jimmy: I owed you a 🚬 not a life changing favour Jimmy: [takes a pic of it cos art hoe] Janis: would it kill you Janis: come on Janis: wife her Jimmy: might do Janis: I'm willing to take that risk Jimmy: if I wanted to get married underage I'd have stayed with my ex Jimmy: claimed her kid Janis: [does 😬 face] Jimmy: [drinking away the mems] Janis: [awkward drinking] Janis: reckon that's worth more free drinks, I'll go see Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [does and succeeds, this place is obvs about them] Jimmy: [more drinking] Janis: did you think it was yours for a bit Jimmy: [gives her a look like oh okay are we still on this] Janis: [puts hands up like sorry and is genuinely] Jimmy: [shakes his head though cos no he didn't it was obvs that friend of her dad's #goals ] Janis: [nods but doesn't comment 'cos you know lesson learnt] Jimmy: [does another cheers glasses clink cos thanks for dropping it] Janis: 🍻 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [just on ya phone, reading the comments] Janis: think we're splitting couples up left and right with our #goals Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: [shows her a Mia 'birthday' message in his dms with the most disgusted facial expression anyone has ever worn] Janis: 🤢 Janis: Disappointing Janis: I thought her chat would be better Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos she's rode bare lads Janis: gotta be some reason Jimmy: she don't do boyfriends, there's one Janis: Shoulda opened with that Jimmy: Common knowledge, there's no need Jimmy: 🍆🐍 Janis: how dare you 🐍 shame her Jimmy: [little lol] Jimmy: You wanna reply to her? Jimmy: [throws his phone to her like] Janis: [raises eyebrow like 'risky' but challenge accepted duh] Jimmy: [drinks while she works her magic on that] Janis: [when you make it obvious it's you 'cos omg phone trust lol] Jimmy: [when you put your head on her shoulder so you can read it even though you could just wait until she's done, we see you boy] Janis: [takes selfie to send too] Jimmy: [suck it Mia] Janis: [looking so couply without even trying lmao] Jimmy: [when his phone rings and they lowkey shit themselves cos love to ruin a moment but its Ian so he ain't answering it begone bitch] Janis: [when you know all about ignoring 'rents so standard] Jimmy: [ooh let's say there's a table football table like in sims so they can play] Janis: [when you forget and are just having a good time now] Jimmy: [#mood] Janis: [let the boy win] Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: 😒 Janis: fluke Jimmy: play me again and I'll beat you again, babe 🥇 Janis: [sticks tongue out 'cos mature] Jimmy: [her tongue is whatever lurid colour the shots were so 📷 cos nerd] Janis: Insult to injury Jimmy: nah look it's #art Janis: [🙄] Jimmy: [sends it to her but has done some artsy shit to it] Jimmy: 🎨🎨🎨🎨 Janis: Look less cringe than the cake social, I suppose Jimmy: so complimentary you Janis: you really got that temperament, yeah? Janis: no one's doubting you maestro Jimmy: answered your own question there, girl Janis: get you a beret too Janis: when I go Janis: sorted Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [goes to get more drinks even if he has to pay for them, you gonna be wasted lads ayyyy] Janis: [when grace is probably hitting you up for deets, everyone getting ignored lowkey] Janis: get shots whilst you're up there Jimmy: [does and they a different colour for the fun] Jimmy: 💔 we'd get booted out for body shots, the fans would've loved it Janis: can call it a hate crime Janis: 🌈 Janis: you're just being a good ally Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: with that foolproof excuse, we've got none not to do it then Janis: [a look] Jimmy: [returned obvs as he's taking off his doughnut sweatshirt which isn't thank you cos not a fashion mood] Janis: [a moment] Jimmy: [downing the rest cos you know when you take your tshirt off and do this you're gonna get thrown out and not cos you need dutch courage for this moment nope] Janis: [another pub you can't go back to lads] Jimmy: [setting his phone up cos its only for the 'gram/snap guys duh] Janis: [obvs, deffo need to go this hard] Jimmy: [like on the one hand yes cos fuck you Mia but also you really don't] Jimmy: [doing the thing when you maintain eye contact the whole time you take your top off & get in position somehow I'd fall over & die so call me offended boy] Janis: [Just trying not to look like you're looking and getting down to business] Jimmy: [at least he can pretend how shamelessly into it he is is only for the recording but bitch we know you ain't acting that well] Janis: [no taking your top off for insta or for this pub so just give him that collarbone sharpish like Jimmy: [when that's hotter though so bye] Janis: [you're welcome everyone but also buhbye] Jimmy: [when you gotta run again but this time together awwh] Janis: [such a mood, end up in a park, blatantly] Jimmy: [yaaaaaaas drunk and alone in a park is our fave] Janis: [just laying on the grass, it's April, it's fine] Jimmy: [we all know he should go home but he's right there next to her instead] Janis: [actually looking at him, what is she thinking, who knows] Jimmy: [looking back cos of course he is] Janis: [makes a face to break the tension] Jimmy: [throws some grass at her cos always throwing things at her] Janis: [grass fight like you ain't alone who's gonna stop first idiots] Jimmy: [we can have his phone stop them cos let's say a text from Cass so he wouldn't ignore it & also that looks really sketchy like imma just stop flirting immediate to look at my phone] Janis: [silently fuming and gets up to go on the swing or something] Jimmy: [stays put texting & 🚬] Janis: [when you should just leave but you ain't] Jimmy: [when you go over and put your jacket over her shoulders but bitch it ain't cold you just needed an excuse to be there] Janis: want me to snap it or what Jimmy: [when you just blink & shrug cos you weren't even thinking about or like that] Janis: [when you gesture that you wanna twos on the 🚬] Jimmy: [sitting on the swing next to hers so you can pass it back & forth & you do] Janis: [just swinging as one does] Jimmy: [oh so casual just sneaking looks at her like] Janis: ['What?'] Jimmy: ['What?'] Janis: [😑 and swinging higher like fine] Jimmy: [this boy ain't even swinging he's obvs too 😎] Janis: [jumping off and wobbling 'cos if you weren't dizzy before] Jimmy: [if you don't hold her up boy who tf are you] Janis: [swatting him away like oi] Jimmy: [stepping away soooooooo dramatically] Janis: [when you're like 'Imma go for a run' like no] Jimmy: [a look like wtf] Jimmy: ['calm it down, pisshead' tryna steer her back to the swing to sit like shh] Janis: ['why?'] Jimmy: [Raising both eyebrows at her & sitting her down like ummm 'Why can't you go running late at night after shit loads of shots?'] Janis: [looks at him like um yes] Jimmy: [shakes his head but in an amused way this time] Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: ['I can handle myself, boy, you go home if you're scared'] Jimmy: [when you're just standing there holding the chains of her swing so it stays still 'If I wanted to go home I'd be there'] Janis: [trying to swing 'cos can't be tamed, 'where do you wanna go then?'] Jimmy: [when you're standing even closer like if you wanna swing you're gonna have to kick me bitch but you're trying not to smile now cos she cute & stubborn 'where are you going?'] Janis: [when you jokingly aim for the crotch but obvs don't #justgirlythings 'very goals; but rude as you're holding me park hostage'] Jimmy: [extending a hand like on you go don't let me stop you babe but v amused] Janis: [gets up with purpose but just standing even closer to him like challenging like now what boy] Jimmy: [when you pick up your jacket up off the floor cos it weren't on her properly so wouldn't have necessarily stayed when she jumped off before & put it back round her shoulders but your hands stay there just lingering cos] Janis: ['do me up then' just moving his hands to the buttons/zip or whatever like you can't do it yourself/you need to] Jimmy: [casually dressing the bae nbd such a moment] Janis: [does another jump to show it's staying on now] Jimmy: [lifts her hair out cos you just wanna touch it always bye but then you calm the fuck down & do an 👌 IRL cos all set] Janis: [does it back with a lol like okay dork] Jimmy: [tells her to piss off but is smiling] Janis: ['no'] Jimmy: [when you have to go back to the swing and sit because you can't address that no and what it might mean] Janis: ['want me to push you?' and is coming over like obvs you do lol] Jimmy: ['do you wanna?' cos always a question] Janis: [just starts in response] Jimmy: [don't go too hard tho him vomming ain't a mood lol] Janis: [when you just lol like what the fuck are we doing rn and stop, going to lie down again] Jimmy: [when you say you should go but lie with her instead cos obvs] Janis: [turn on your side and look at him 'go on then'] Jimmy: [getting comfy on the ground really close to her like you never said it] Janis: [puts head on his shoulder 'cos throwback to earlier] Jimmy: [when you do a happy sigh but you don't realize you even did] Janis: ['I might just stay out, like, not that bad when it's not freezing or pissing it down' 'cos a bitch never wants to be home] Jimmy: [getting even closer to her cos same tbh 'here?' cos he ain't know places] Janis: [looks around 'cos she's really pondering like a nerd 'it's a pretty good spot, you don't wanna be in the centre of town but you don't wanna be in the middle of nowhere either so, yeah, here would work'] Jimmy: ['Alright' cos lbr anywhere's better than home] Janis: [nods like that's that then] Jimmy: [the awkward moment when you promised your siblings cake & now you ain't coming back rude bitch but he's drunk he aint thinking] Janis: ['You gonna get cold, though?' when you're unbuttoning the jacket like it's big enough to wrap around you both] Jimmy: [buttoning it back up on her like its a speed game lol cos priorities gotta look after the bae, goes without saying that you're northern we don't need to say it boy] Janis: ['Don't let anyone see how badly you want me to keep my clothes on, boy'] Jimmy: [such a genuine lol 'I want you to keep MY clothes on, girl, that's goals'] Janis: [is like valid and snuggles into the jacket/his side more] Jimmy: [when you do the thing where you rub up and down her arms like she's so cold but it's just so you can keep them there after and basically hug because you're a soft boy] Janis: [just allowing it even though you're so #confused like what are we] Jimmy: [king of the mixed message] Janis: ['Jimmy?] Jimmy: ['What?' but in a soft way not like ???!! aggressively] Janis: ['Are we mates now?'] Jimmy: ['do you wanna be mates?'] Janis: ['Come on, answer my question' and punches his arm like before but more gentle] Jimmy: [is giving her a LOOK 'answer my question'] Janis: [quiet af 'why do I have to be the one?'] Jimmy: ['Why are you asking?'] Janis: ['cos I wanna know' gives him a look like duh, that's how questions usually work but it's playful not rude] Jimmy: [Gives her a look like well there's your answer of why you should answer me] Janis: [makes ugh noise 'cos awkward egg but drunk enough to do it so now or never 'well, yeah, you're alright, you know'] Jimmy: [is 😏 smug bitch 'you're less of a dickhead when you drink an' all'] Janis: ['fuck off, dickhead' pushes away] Jimmy: ['no' cos his turn for that] Janis: ['why d'ya think I didn't wanna go first'] Jimmy: [gives her a look as if to say if you wanna be mates you're gonna need thicker skin] Janis: [🙄 like oh please] Jimmy: [returning that eye roll] Janis: ['how dare you' rolling away like okay girl lmao] Jimmy: [gets up like he's gonna go but we know he ain't even] Janis: ['I want more drink' opening her phone like what's nearby lads] Jimmy: [we know he's gonna follow her anywhere] Janis: [just looking at him from where he is] Jimmy: [when he walks back over to 'help her up' which is the most thinly veiled excuse yet boy she don't need you like that she's stronger than you] Janis: [allows it again 'cos you wanna be near him rn even though that cleared up so little lol] Jimmy: [when you haven't let go of her hand after & are just messing around with her fingers but being gentle af like stop being so blatant but also don't ever] Janis: [thumb war obvs] Jimmy: [she should so win we all know he's distracted] Janis: [get to be the 😏 one now] Jimmy: ['where to then?' cos shamelessly change the subject/distract her from the win] Janis: ['Depends, are you gonna get us kicked out again?' and a LOOK 'Maybe I could just get someone to go in and buy us a bottle'] Jimmy: ['Have you checked the view count?' cos obvs that's the only reason he'd do something we see you boy ugh. 'Maybe I could steal us one' with a look cos always up for the challenge we know] Janis: [shakes head 'walk and talk, boy then walk the talk after you've shown me' when you wanna see 'cos shamelessly a mood and a moment we all know] Jimmy: [we strutting] Janis: [when both their phones must be blowing up constant rn] Jimmy: [you know he drunk cos he's totally ignoring his] Janis: ['you really gonna stay out or what?'] Jimmy: ['are you?'] Janis: ['course, I've done worse'] Jimmy: ['Yeah? What've you done, rich girl?' when you're not even taking the piss you just wanna know and also flirt] Janis: [nudges him whilst they walk 'You don't even wanna know'] Jimmy: ['I just asked' nudges her back 'you don't want me to know'] Janis: ['Oh, now he knows how questions work' but smiles not being confrontational with it, then shakes her head 'nah, the more salacious gossip you can spread about me post fake breakup the better, make me sound mega slaggy, standard'] Jimmy: ['Oh the old northern lad is well thick gag' reaches out like he's gonna shake her hand well done but likewise isn't being a dick for once, shakes his head too because hasn't thought about this being over yet but already don't wanna thank you] Janis: [lols genuinely and shakes his hand like the nerds they are, all the lingering always] Jimmy: ['You're alright too, you know'] Janis: ['Thanks' when you say it in the best nbd way you can but you mean it] Jimmy: [adjusting your jacket on her cos TOUCH boy I can't with you stop] Janis: ['you gonna let me keep it?' 'cos if you don't joke rn like what will happen] Jimmy: ['Need a new jacket, do you?'] Janis: ['If I did, I'd steal one, or get daddy's credit card out, wouldn't I' taps his head like remember 'it's #goals ain't it'] Jimmy: ['There's your answer then, ain't it?'] Janis: ['Yeah, but we can just fake it, obviously'] Jimmy: [a v helpful shrug] Janis: ['let's try and buy it first, I don't need garda after me, or me getting in shit with your da, like'] Jimmy: ['my dad ain't bought or bothered about my clothes since I started school, reckon you'll be alright, mate'] Janis: ['I mean the drink, you donut, where am I getting fashion at this time of night? Keep up'] Jimmy: [does a little 'run' to 'keep up' cos he's a nerd throwback to the runner emoji when she said it before but looks back at her seriously cos challenge accepted and he can do it & gonna prove that asap] Janis: [is just loling at the whole charade, what are y'all doing] Jimmy: [when he's like omg you're soooo slow as an excuse to drag her along by the damn hand MORE TOUCH we see you] Janis: 'Boy, you said I couldn't run, make up your mind, like' tutting and smh dramatically] Jimmy: ['I didn't reckon on you only having the two speeds, did I, dickhead?'] Janis: ['You just don't wanna lose, which you would'] Jimmy: ['I don't wanna be vommed on which I would 'cause you would'] Janis: ['Psh, baby; I'm no amateur, alright'] Jimmy: ['you got dizzy off a swing, alright. Leave it out, pisshead'] Janis: [😒 'you are rude'] Jimmy: [does the facial expression equivalent of the sarcastic 💔] Janis: [is now being really slow to be annoying] Jimmy: [knows & fireman lifts her over his shoulder because problem solved] Janis: ['I get it, you 'DON'T' wanna be vommed on, kink unlocked. Also drop me and die.'] Jimmy: ['throw up down my back and I'm dumping you, Joanna'] Janis: ['stop talking about puke or I might'] Jimmy: [when you just walking and carrying the bae you gonna feel this tomorrow boy you're not strong] Janis: [what a sight like hey world lmao] Jimmy: [at least she's not a dress wearing bitch that'd be worse] Janis: [didn't have to go that hard for these establishments lol] Jimmy: [put her down boy ffs but we know he won't unless she actually did feel sick] Janis: [tapping his back when they get near a shop like okay act sober and mature now lol] Jimmy: [thank god we're not letting that doughnut top be a thing haha] Janis: [a lewk] Jimmy: [we all know he's stealing shit to impress the bae #facts] Janis: [just loitering outside, looking so nonchalant] Jimmy: [god bless] Janis: 🍀 Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: 🍾? Jimmy: you don't wanna put much of an order in then Jimmy: 👑🐎💰 Janis: I don't think they sell ponies in there Janis: maybe in a readymeal but I'm alright, tah Jimmy: 😂 Janis: 😏 Janis: I'm hilarious, I know Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: gonna have to stop laughing at you or you won't fit in frame to #pose with me Jimmy: brought this on yourself, bighead Janis: Are you calling me FAT?!?!! Janis: 😱😭💔 Jimmy: Am I registered blind? Janis: Don't make me say that'd explain your fashion sense Janis: trying so hard not to be funny here Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 😘 Jimmy: I get it, you miss me Jimmy: Hang on Janis: Yeah, let's go with that Janis: not that I want the bottle or nothing Jimmy: And your plan is to fight me for it, yeah? Jimmy: alright Jimmy: playing nice is fake even for us Janis: Can't decide if kink unlocked or you're just that stupid Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: if yours is insulting lads you're deffo not that into me Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: fake dating is a fate worse than the friendzone, mate Jimmy: not how you do it baby 💕 Jimmy: [comes out cos how long do you need to be in there like, bought 🚬s so its less suss and throws the pack at her cos always throwing shit at the bae] Janis: [good thing she's sporty so she can catch lmao, taking one out immediately 'cos standard, 'where to?'] Jimmy: [takes the mystery bottle out, opens it & takes a swig, giving her a look like you tell me cos don't know where to go & always gets lost lol] Janis: [🙄 but nice so 😏 too, pondering 'we really committing to drinking in the park as well as sleeping there, like' shakes her head like what is life] Jimmy: [swaps the bottle for her 🚬 cos sharing is caring bitch, you could've just got your own but alright be gay] Janis: [walking and dranking and smoking 'cos living your best life obvs] Jimmy: [#goals] Janis: [doing that thing where you keep shoulder bumping each other as you walk Jimmy: [always gotta be touching we see you both] Janis: [back at the park, get under that slide/climbing frame moment 'cos shelter/privacy] Jimmy: [doodling another JJ heart under there like he did earlier but like nobody's seeing it you blatant nerd] Janis: [love that for you, 'they let you do foam art at CG?'] Jimmy: [shows her pics on the CG insta of the hipster bullshit they do, like if we wanna call that art] Janis: [nods like fairplay] Jimmy: [don't worry boy you can live your best art hoe life at the next place but for now he gives her the sharpie so she can write/draw something if she want] Janis: ['no pressure' 😏 but pondering 5eva with the pen in your mouth like a cute ass hoe] Jimmy: [sneaky 😍 cos she's so cute bye] Janis: [draws the hearteyes emoji then does some graf slagging of Mia and co for the lols] Jimmy: [then he draws a skeleton with daggers coming from the eyes cos dats Mia's reaction to the heart eyes] Janis: [lols and draws a herd of sad cows behind her for the squad] Jimmy: [adds like you know when its a ufo and the beam stereotypically but it's a coffee cup with coffee spilling out if you get me] Janis: [draws him in the ufo/coffee cup window like hey] Jimmy: [lols cos the little him & adds her running away with a smoothie in hand but obvs blowing him a kiss as she goes with the other cos] Jimmy: [when you're just passing the pen & bottle between you how coupley af] Janis: [tries to look unamused but fails, draws an OTT sexy Pete with his arms open waiting for her] Jimmy: [tries not to look jealous af but is 😒 cos drunk & no way to control it but draws the band mates in a van HONKING at Pete like get in loser we're famous & changes the open arms to waving bye with dem movement lines haha] Janis: [draws broken heart emoji over her chest and puts devil horns on him and an evil laugh bubble] Jimmy: [draws a little orchestra like the instruments with legs chasing her and one of them has an umbrella open cos there's a sad raincloud over her head now] Janis: [draws her hair even crazier 'cos rain and puts some headphones on 'cos can't hear you beech and does like dust clouds behind her 'cos can't catch me either] Jimmy: [draws a horse shitting money just behind her following cos always taking the piss that she has one] Janis: [draws one of the cows tryna hand him loads of money 'cos grace soz gurl] Jimmy: [puts a ✖ through Grace how rude] Janis: [puts a question mark next to the extra tall one like hmm] Jimmy: [turns it into a little 🐍] Janis: [turns one of the other cows into a skeleton cow with heart eyes like pls] Jimmy: [draws the gun thing they use to kill cows in an abattoir coming for the Mia cow] Janis: [draws a burger that looks so mad to be a burger about to be nommed by a really fat person] Jimmy: [draws a pie next to it waiting to be eaten cos #northern bants] Janis: [draws angel of the north on top but makes her look more like that northern lass stereotype] Jimmy: [draws his dad flirting with the angel but has to draw a dad name tag cos she don't know Ian yet] Janis: [draws christ the redeemer and her having a moment] Jimmy: [lols and another ✖ haha] Janis: [draws zombie jesus coming for him] Jimmy: [Twix has stolen zombie jesus' foot in his addition] Janis: [lols but can't think of anything else so puts a little crown with a poo emoji on him] Jimmy: [draws another cloud but instead of rain it's smoke cos lighting up a new 🚬 IRL] Janis: [writes whatever warning label is on the pack in the cloud] Jimmy: [draws a 🚬 crying cos the haters] Janis: draws them group hugging it and is also like pass me that tah IRL] Jimmy: [draws the 💕 cos true love & obvs does pass her the 🚬 #alsotrueloveamIright] Janis: [when you're just spinning the sharpie now, smoking, thinking] Jimmy: [when you're drinking & looking at her and trying to think about spin the bottle comparisons lol] Janis: [when you go to pass it back so you look at him too like oh hey eye contact] Jimmy: [having a shameless moment cos add to that touching her way more than you need to when you take it] Janis: [taking the bottle when you do for something to do] Jimmy: [casually asking her why she's not in his art class like the nerd he is] Janis: ['don't take the piss!' 'cos when people in your fam can art really well, you wouldn't reckon you were any good even if you're pretty solid] Jimmy: ['I weren't' cos genuinely isn't 'be a laugh if you were there, that's all'] Janis: [shrugs 'bet it already is, like, you must be one of the few lads that does it?'] Jimmy: [shrugs back cos we all know the kind of peeps that take art, not a mood for him] Janis: [let's say they're sitting opposite and taps him with her foot like come on] Jimmy: ['what?' but again not said in a mardy way] Janis: ['I dunno' 'cos truly] Jimmy: [playfully taps her back with his foot] Janis: [footsie moment] Jimmy: [a LOOK because we all know what's up] Janis: [hits hit back with a what but with feeling] Jimmy: [when you're just looking at her lips shamelessly like] Janis: [crawls forward so she's up in his face like 'WHAT'] Jimmy: [pushing her hair out of her face so you can REALLY get that good eye contact cos two fave things] Janis: [just a staring contest rn] Jimmy: [he's gotta kiss her cos there's no way that's not a thing don't smack her head off the slide or anything please] Janis: [so that's happening bye] Jimmy: [when you've wanted to do that this whole night so it's just intense af] Janis: [you're gonna have to stop this at some point girl but not yet 'cos as into it] Jimmy: [enjoy your make out session kids] Janis: [when you have to stop 'cos your phone will not stop blowing up now it's late late] Jimmy: [awks cos boy how are you gonna just go back to chilling like you're not still breathing heavily and feeling all that] Janis: [angrily telling your dad to go away lmao] Jimmy: [soz caleb but when that reminds you that you have siblings that need you, welcome to his guilty mind] Janis: [when the moment has been murdered so you get out of your love nest to pace and light a new 🚬] Jimmy: [when you have to go but you don't wanna just leave her here alone so you sit on the slide & chug so much of the booze that you lowkey feel sick] Janis: [when you give him a look like wtf but you don't say anything 'cos mewd tbh] Jimmy: [when you also don't 100% know the way home either awks] Janis: ['you can go, like'] Jimmy: [when you start walking in the wrong direction cos always lost] Janis: [shouting 'd'ya want a cab or?'] Jimmy: [waves her off like nah 'leave it out, rich girl' also loud] Janis: [when you don't wanna leave it but also what do you say 'cept 'don't die'] Jimmy: ['you ain't getting rid that easy, Juliet'] Janis: [laughs] Janis: text me when you get home safe babe xoxo Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: if you're getting murdered, probably go 999 straight away Jimmy: nah, I'll give 'em your number Jimmy: I know you don't wanna live without the love of your life 😘 Janis: or I just want the nutter caught 'fore he makes his way down here, like Janis: either or 😘 Jimmy: 🥔🍅 Janis: 😂 Janis: how did you find them in this state Jimmy: what state are you on about? 🤐 Janis: alright Janis: just weak at the knees for me then Janis: wobbling off Jimmy: Yeah 💕 Janis: funny Jimmy: Are you still there? Janis: yeah Jimmy: alright Jimmy: where the fuck am I? Janis: Oh great Janis: well where are you trying to be, first off Jimmy: where do you think? Janis: obviously but I don't know where you live, idiot Jimmy: what kind of fake girlfriend Janis: shut up and send me your location Jimmy: [does] Janis: k, do you know your address even a little or Jimmy: Am I 5? Jimmy: lived here for a month, you know Janis: alright, don't get defensive Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Janis: well send it to me then or am I meant to guess Jimmy: you're enough of a know-it-all I'm surprised you already aren't taking guesses Janis: stay lost then dickhead Jimmy: 👍 Janis: see you when you circle on yourself, like Jimmy: looking forward to it 😍😍😍 Janis: 😏 Janis: such an idiot Jimmy: such a flirt you Jimmy: trying to find my way home if you don't mind Janis: like you said, if I was flirting with you I'd call you much worse Janis: and like I said, give me your address and I can direct you so Jimmy: come with me Jimmy: not a castle or owt but a sofa's better than a park bench Janis: You're alright Janis: I'll be good here Jimmy: There ain't a puppy here Jimmy: Use your big head Janis: Is there really Janis: 'cos you just sounded like a massive creeper tbh Jimmy: [sends photographic evidence of Twix's existence and the fact she's obvs his] Jimmy: [I like to imagine he's accidentally also sent random pics of him cos drunk] Janis: 😍😍😍 Janis: well throw in some free sweets and I'm yours, obvs Jimmy: I'm well photogenic me, you should know that by now, mate Jimmy: and yeah, our kid is 6, sweets I can do Janis: Better behind the 📷 Jimmy: when bae backhands you a good one 💕 Jimmy: so complimentary Janis: overarm ain't bad either Jimmy: duh such an athlete Jimmy: you gonna run to me or what? Janis: 💪 Janis: if you ain't gonna tell me where you live I'll have to, like Janis: can't let you go missing on my watch Jimmy: not while you still need me Janis: Would be potentially awkward explaining the whole fake dating deal to another lad at this point, yeah Jimmy: and that you didn't murder me Jimmy: she caught feelings so 🎯🔪🔪 Jimmy: 👻👻👻 RIP northern lad Janis: might be into that Janis: #kinkunlocked Janis: and *he Janis: drunk texting Jimmy: Nah, I meant you little miss knifeplay Janis: shut up then Janis: and you don't have a knife, just a sharpie Jimmy: just pleased to see you, babe Janis: 🙄 God Janis: drink MUST be wearing off, you're getting annoying again Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: next time I'll swipe you two bottles Janis: n'awh Janis: it was very impressive Janis: and there's no hiding two bottles down your trousers, like Jimmy: #savage Jimmy: I get why you 💘 Jesus, give then take away as quick, you Janis: Oh, I thought we were gonna speculate on Jesus' massive dick Jimmy: 😂 Janis: I'm sure it was Janis: your own da ain't gonna do you like that, is he Jimmy: Mine would if he could Janis: Luckily designer babies are still unethical/he ain't god then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not that we're here to talk about yours Janis: thanks Jimmy: weren't volunteering Janis: Good Janis: 👰🏽 of christ and only interested in his Janis: don't spread that about though Jimmy: But I want everyone to know my girlfriend will only spread her legs for her imaginary friend, like Jimmy: Tweet's already been sent Janis: such a way with words Janis: don't think anyone could blame me 😒 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: if you actually roll your eyes rn you'll never get 'em back Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: have fun Janis: loser Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: done, what else you got, knobhead? Janis: wait and see Jimmy: ⏲🏃 Janis: [give her a min or two to run up on him like boo bitch] Jimmy: [you know he's gonna be shook lol when you have to act like you didn't just shit yourself] Janis: [lols and turns him 'round like first of all] Jimmy: [when you trying to be grumpy but you're shamelessly happy to see her] Janis: ['thought I'd never see you again' but 🤞 with it obvs #bants] Jimmy: [an IRL playful eye roll like see I can do it and also shhh] Janis: ['impressive'] Jimmy: [gives her a flirty look that's meant to be be a pisstake like you ain't seen nothing yet vibes but we all know is serious] Janis: [shakes head like disgusting but clearly not over that kiss/ it ain't forgotten yet like and it shows, 'focus, boy'] Jimmy: [when you had the bottle with you so you finished it and that shows because you're standing way closer to her than you need to] Janis: [more eye contact, 'do you want me to come back with you or not?'] Jimmy: [you know he's drunk cos he's gonna answer a question omg 'I want you to come back with me'] Janis: ['come on then' and gestures like where we going boy] Jimmy: [tells her where he lives cos we ain't getting very far otherwise] Janis: [maps that out and starts walking in the opposite direction he was of course, taking his hand 'cos necessitiy duh] Jimmy: [it's ONLY so he don't get lost okay nothing to see here] Janis: [obvs, don't read anything into this people] Jimmy: [just walking & hand holding] Janis: [when you've gotta swing it like he's a child so this isn't too serious] Jimmy: ['thought we'd covered I weren't 5' but again no real pisstake happening] Janis: ['what are you then?'] Jimmy: ['what do you mean?'] Janis: [shrugs, 'vague for a reason, meant to interpret, artsy boy'] Jimmy: [shrugs back 'I ain't in art class now and you ain't signed up to it'] Janis: ['alright, comfortable silence it is then'] Jimmy: [more walking and hand holding nbd] Janis: ['can't believe you drank it all though, twat'] Jimmy: ['sorry' but 😏 'you can have more when we get back' not soz about sacrificing your stash Ian 'can't knock drink & a puppy, mate'] Janis: [lols and nudges him with her shoulder 'stop being so fucking creepy!'] Jimmy: ['only way to keep you at arms length that' but a LOOK cos we all know he don't wanna and hasn't gotten over the kiss yet either] Janis: ['oh, please' rolls her eyes but is 😳 'I'm only walking you home to be a gentleman, you're the one inviting me in'] Jimmy: ['I reckon its pretty gentlemanly of me not to leave you to sleep in a park, but if you wanna go back that bad, go on'] Janis: ['It's not a big deal, like' looks at him like he's being so drama but still amused enough 'let's get you in first, yeah'] Jimmy: ['I can get myself in, not that pissed, girl' starts walking ahead like he's gonna prove himself with that, okay boy] Janis: [catches up easily, obvs, 'yeah I walked all this way for you to strop off, come on'] Jimmy: ['why did you?'] Janis: ['what do you mean?'] Jimmy: [I mean what I said, why come with me?'] Janis: ['cos you were clearly lost and I'm not that much of a dick that I'll just let you wander 'round 'til morning, like'] Jimmy: ['it's not a big deal, so you reckon'] Janis: ['Well, I weren't lost, it's different'] Jimmy: ['you weren't no safer, same bollocks really'] Janis: ['Yeah I was, I know my way around here, who to avoid, all that'] Jimmy: [lights a 🚬 cos letting that drop when you know you can't win 'do you even wanna come?' needy boy alert] Janis: ['do you want me to?' when he's already answered this and you're suddenly him like ???] Jimmy: ['do you wanna?'] Janis: ['I mean, yeah, if it's alright, why not'] Jimmy: [when you just pass her the 🚬 cos yeah its obvs alright with him] Janis: [big ole drag] Jimmy: [when you've got no reason to go back to hand holding but you just wanna so you take hers this time] Janis: [looks but doesn't comment] Jimmy: [we walking lads] Janis: [please try to be quiet when you arrive, like] Jimmy: [they so shouldn't be though cos then Bobby can wake up & cockblock them lol] Janis: [good idea, let that happen] Jimmy: [start as we mean to go on cos he's always doing it down the line] Janis: night Jimmy: I don't get a good one then? Janis: probably not Janis: not got loads of youngers but that's how that goes, yeah? Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: lullabies work better Janis: even I know that Jimmy: Pete ain't here to sing for us and I'm not looking to traumatise the kid Janis: 💔 Janis: we all wish Pete was here Jimmy: Slide into his DMs Jimmy: sure he'd pick you up, mate Janis: at this o'clock Janis: and this wasted Janis: rather hit up the park again Jimmy: Go on then Janis: rude Janis: you said i could crash here Jimmy: you can Jimmy: you're the one 💔 by your lack of better offers Jimmy: I already knew it was shit here Janis: tonight is just like any other night Janis: nothing personal Jimmy: alright, rich girl Jimmy: got it Janis: what do you get Jimmy: your bollocks little memo there Janis: I dunno what you're chatting Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: helpful Janis: night then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what times your dad likely to get up Jimmy: what time is it now? Janis: [some late into the AM time] Jimmy: you might get 7 hours Jimmy: if you piss off to sleep now Janis: we'll call it 6 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: longer if he's got a mrs in there Jimmy: probably will do Janis: well don't reckon I'll stay around to say hello to her either, like Jimmy: I've got work in a bit, go when I leave if you want Janis: long as its you that wakes up to me here I ain't arsed Jimmy: 👌 Janis: sorted Jimmy: 😘😘😘😘 Janis: Piss off 😏 Jimmy: say the sweetest things to me, you Janis: you want sweet I'll go public, like Jimmy: on you go then Janis: [posts something cringe-inducing on his timeline] Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: [replies obvs but there's a flirty undertone that's real af] Janis: [just lowkey flirting this is why y'all get confused[ Jimmy: [stop but don't ever thank you] Janis: how did you do this for real Janis: it's so gross Jimmy: I didn't do all the #s and bollocks Jimmy: It weren't like this Janis: Fair Janis: you don't have to be this level of cringe, I guess Jimmy: you wanna scale it back? Janis: nah Janis: what we need to do Janis: playing to a dense audience Jimmy: 👍 Janis: it ain't real if you don't shove it down everyone's throats Janis: and even then Jimmy: how you paddys do it Jimmy: well #extra Janis: dunno about that Janis: maybe Jimmy: everythings !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jimmy: even speak like it Janis: fuck off do I speak like that Janis: just 'cos it takes you 10 years to finish a sentence Jimmy: that's just me Jimmy: don't wanna talk to none of you, like Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: nowt personal, as you said Janis: what do i care Janis: don't speak to anyone either if i can avoid it Jimmy: I noticed Janis: and what Jimmy: why I picked you for this Jimmy: one of the reasons Janis: gwan then Jimmy: ? Janis: don't pussy out Janis: what are the others Jimmy: to be unlocked Janis: ugh Janis: fuck off Jimmy: alright Jimmy: in a bit Janis: 🙄 Janis: okay Jimmy: isn't Jimmy: #obvs Janis: is Janis: you got to sleep Janis: just didn't know you were such a cocktease Jimmy: could be a kink for all you know Jimmy: which is nowt Janis: no, I'm a know-it-all remember Jimmy: that's how you reckon you are, not how it is, Jillian Janis: bollocks Jimmy: you've got my name and where I'm from 'cause my voice fits Jimmy: nowt else Janis: if you want people to leave you alone, drop the fit and mysterious bit Janis: everyone knows my business and no one fucks with me much Janis: easy Jimmy: yeah so easy you've had to get me to be your fake love interest Janis: no one knows everything they reckon they do Janis: just straightening some things out, literally Jimmy: Punny Janis: Hilarious too Janis: I remember, even if you're hazy Jimmy: vaguely threatening, who said romance was 💀💀? Janis: you will be tomorrow Janis: not a threat, literal facts at this point Jimmy: I'll live Jimmy: there's your day's disappointment ✔ Janis: sweet that you're getting a head start there Janis: but whether you live or die has no influence on me either way 😘 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: cute tho Jimmy: so everyone keeps telling me Janis: 😂 Janis: loving the confidence Jimmy: I got that from you, yeah Jimmy: love you too, girl Janis: that's a photo caption if I ever heard one Janis: remember Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: [comes to get a glass of water as if that's remotely gonna help & you aren't shameless boy] Janis: [casual hissing like 'you could've fucking warned me' 'cos died thinking it was someone else lol] Jimmy: ['You had me topless earlier, I didn't reckon you'd need one' such a dickhead and so 😏 sipping his water thinking about those bodyshots] Janis: [throws a pillow at him like this isn't someone else's house have some manners] Jimmy: [is all faux offended like oi rude but comes and puts the pillow back instead of throwing it like it's not just a shameless excuse to sit down near her] Janis: ['you got manners now?'] Jimmy: ['now?' an eyebrow raise 'I got you a bottle when you wanted one, what's better manners?'] Janis: ['STOLE but you know, guess you've got me there' 😏] Jimmy: ['Duh, got you right where I want you, that creeper, me'] Janis: ['said that was to keep me away so piss poor job, if you ask me'] Jimmy: ['I also said there'd be a puppy but do you see her? Nah, full of shit this dickhead'] Janis: [gasps dramatically but quietly lol] Jimmy: [when you're trying not to smile cos she a cute nerd but you fail cos you drunk and amused] Janis: ['did you lie about the sweets too?'] Jimmy: [gets up, gets sweets and throws them at her but more softly than usual like into her lap as he sits back down cos be quiet boy] Janis: [looks at him like okay 'one outta two ain't bad, like' and offers him some] Jimmy: [shrugs 'if you want me to wake my sister an' all, I'll get the dog' takes a lollipop cos 1. they take ages to eat and he wants to stay 2. he's a saucy bitch] Janis: ['nah, you're alright' 'when you now distracted af, 'scuse you] Jimmy: [when you're trying to give her a look like yeah I knew you didn't want Twix that bad but you're just giving her a LOOK cos blatant] Janis: [when you take the lolly like you really wanted it okay bitch] Jimmy: [when you should care but you're the one who's distracted af now] Janis: [pass it back like it's a smoke or a bottle] Jimmy: [these flirty nerds] Janis: [ze tension] Jimmy: [so much eye contact when he's not shamelessly looking at her mouth, boy please] Janis: ['what?' 'cos always] Jimmy: [repeats it back cos always] Janis: [she can initiate it this time] Jimmy: [give them some good making out time before I ruin it like a rude bitch] Janis: [then you gotta run girl run[ Jimmy: [my vibe is like he name drops cos he wants to slow things down cos SO INTO IT & fucking on his sofa rn having to be really quiet in the dark is not an ideal mood for many a reason so her name comes out cos that whole relationship was hot mess express full of mistakes not cos he's still really into that northern lass but obvs not getting the chance to explain cos it looks how it looks] Janis: [I feel it] Jimmy: [you better hope she don't remember this boy cos it seems like you were really into it and wanna get back with your ex] Janis: [mhmm but she won't obvs just remember she left for a reason so awks] Jimmy: [take that over calling her the most northern name ever that don't begin with J, no styling that out as bants] Jimmy: [when you can't even go after her or make the attempt cos what are you gonna say?] Janis: [that's that on that, like to think mcvickers live nearby so she doesn't need to stay out/go home home rn] Jimmy: [I'll allow it, stay safe thank you children]