#like 2 whole months just waiting for them to SPEAK to each other AJDHJA

[strandnreyes]

was rewatching some of s4 while ao3 was finicky last night and I’m still thinking about the nuance that got added to Carlos’ character and how the few hints dropped in earlier seasons—not telling his parents about TK or ever talking to them about anything regarding his sexuality or how he didn’t tell them about the break up or how he bought the loft without telling TK—fit so in line with this fundamentally rooted trauma response that was emphasized in s4 and how he has trouble telling people in his life big things that may make him seem less than perfect because he spent years and years and YEARS trying to fit into a box and repressing pieces of himself and now he’s safe and loved in so many ways but it’s ingrained in his mind to hide and to keep that to himself because that’s how he thought he had to live to be accepted and it’s not a great trait to have, it’s messy and can be hurtful but given what we’ve learned about his past, it feels so necessary almost? that he didn’t come out unscathed from all of that. that it lingers with him though his life is so different now because that’s what trauma does and it takes time and effort to heal

and he’s flawed now more that he ever was. but so is TK. so is everyone on this show. so are real people. and Carlos went from this character whose sole purpose was to be TK’s hot love interest and Michelle’s helper and now he’s this big beautiful character with his own issues who gets so much love and support from the people in his life just as he has given in return for three years and I never would’ve expected this watching s1 live but wow what a journey it has been to see this character unfold