#like ... come on. please. i'm begging you to understand
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porcelain. toji f.
a/n: nsfw, angst?????? idk what this is really, just me yapping, very unhealthy boyfriend behaviors from toji, toji pushes ur buttons & makes you snap, DACRYPHILIA!!!!!, p in v. 18+ mdni.
toji's always treated you as what he calls you; a doll.
no, he's never been the type to treat anyone delicately, but then there was you.
to him, you were but a fragile flower, asking to be crushed. toji's hurt a lot of people in his life. he would never hurt you. he never reciprocates the kindness of others, usually, but he couldn't help but treat you with the same love and respect you showed him.
he knows the real you.
toji knows that even among the most precious, delicate dolls, their porcelain skin will begin to crack if you play with them too much. he understands that under your angel-like persona, there's something much darker.
he sees the abyss of emotions inside of you, when you begin to crack.
he's too rough with you on purpose. because he wants that monster inside of you to come out. to be shown to him, what you really are. and it's all for his own pleasure. just for him to break you.
he wants you to snap at him so he can treat you accordingly. and he's so happy when your tired of your buttons being pushed, in his own twisted way.
"fuck off, toji!" with a hard push to his chest was all it took to make him happy. it gave him an excuse to not treat you like a doll anymore, toss you around a little bit. make you cry.
as crazy and sick as he was, you enjoyed it even more.
not even thirty minutes after your action of defiance, he had you laid out under him, eyes glossy with tears while he slowly stuffed you with his cock. toji's lips twitched in a sadistic grin as you allowed the tears to flow, all while staring dangerously into his eyes.
"y'er gonna break my heart, doll," toji groans. "cryin' like a baby all 'cus you feel bad, aww." he's cooing and it's doing nothing but pissing you off; but the drag of his length against the soft walls of your cunt melt the anger away.
"shut up, toji," you grumble, blinking your eyes to clear them so you can get a good look of the condescending man above you.
yet as he hears your snappy words, toji rams his hips into you one good time, bouncing your soft body against the sheets of his bed. you're sure that singular stroke bruised your cervix. the sudden jolt of pleasure that courses through your body brings you to reality quickly.
please.
toji's change in demeanor towards you is slow at first. he's always been so careful. so gentle. all to not hurt you. right now, though, he needs it.
please, baby.
another particularly harsh thrust makes your eyes widen and you panic. you look into toji's eyes, but it's almost as if he isn't even there. his eyes are low, dark and filled with hunger. and anger and sadness, and pain. that same mess of emotions hidden under your sensitive shell is staring you right in the eyes. empty, like a doll.
"toji?" you squeak, earning another stab of toji's cock into your gushing cunt, "toji!"
"i'm 'ere, doll," toji says, though it seems a bit untrue, and his pace quickens too fast, right before your eyes. he's losing himself in his mind and in the feeling of how tightly you squeeze around him when you panic.
break for me. please.
he's begging.
toji can feel how badly you want it, how much you want him to lose control over you. his porcelain doll.
he knows that underneath your glass skin, you're just like him.
he knows it.
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jjk smut#toji fushiguro#jjk toji#toji smut#toji x reader#toji zenin#toji x reader smut#toji fushiguro smut#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro x reader smut#jjk x reader smut#jjk angst
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You mention vibrator play with (I think coworker!)rhiannon and oh my christ I'm such a sucker for that sort of thing- could we get an expansion on that please?? Tysm!! As per usual your writing continues to be phenomenally incredible please know that you're doing (sapphic) god's work ❤️❤️
-🔆
thank you so much 🔆 anon!! <3 nsfw content below. mdni.
now to vibrator play with (coworker!) rhiannon! there are so many different ways that this could go so let me elaborate…
coworker!rhiannon who’s also your girlfriend and who loves to watch you struggle from across the room...in the morning, while you're getting ready for work together, she’ll bring the idea up to you: you’re zipping up your pants when she wraps her arms around you from behind. rhiannon’s lips press against the back of your neck playfully but that’s not what catches your attention: what does is the cold feeling of something pressing against your bare stomach. before you can ask what it is, she already turned on the little bullet vibrator. “what do you think?” rhiannon murmurs against your skin from behind as she runs it up your body, letting you feel the vibrations on the lowest setting. she doesn’t have to explain herself; she’s brought the idea up enough times for you to understand what she’s planning.
coworker!rhiannon who stuffs it into your underwear once you’ve given her your consent and have come up with a safe word/signal in case she ever pushes you a bit too far. coworker!rhiannon who starts off tame enough. who, at first, only switches it on from her desk when you expect it: while holding eye contact beforehand or even as she’s standing right next to you. “how’s work going?” she’ll ask, and put a hand on your shoulder. yet when you’re about to answer, she flips a switch on the remote in her pocket, and allthe words you were about to say morph into a surprised gasp as you press your thighs together.
coworker!rhiannon who gets the hang of it after a while. once she’s figured out the different settings and how you react to them (which one makes you squirm the hardest in your chair or has you glancing in her direction desperately), there’s no stopping her: she’ll put on the lowest vibration during the entirety of a conference -not enough to make you cum, but just enough for you to be toeing the edge the whole time. or she’ll turn it up suddenly when you’re least expecting it; when you're about to get up for your break, forcing you to sit back down suddenly. she’ll watch you as you get closer and closer on the highest setting, white knuckle gripping the edge of your table, then turn it off at the last second...
coworker!rhiannon who catches you trying to sneak into the bathroom to get off while she’s refilling her coffee. who walks in on you attempting to touch yourself in there. who takes the vibe from you and presses it against your clit on the highest possible setting and keeps it there through multiple orgasms, until you’re shaking from overstimulation and need to hold onto her for support, biting down on your hand/her shoulder so that you won’t scream through the entire office floor.
but also…
rhiannon who ties you up on her bed (or the garage if she’s in a bit of a role-play mood…) and holds the vibrator against you until you’re a babbling mess, begging her to take it off or turn it down. if you really wanted her to stop, one use of the safe word would be enough. yet, you don’t. you want to be at her mercy, you want rhiannon to have her way with you until she decides that it’s enough.
or, alternatively: rhiannon who ties the vibe against your thigh and then leaves you there, with the toy buzzing weakly against your clit. she’ll go down into the living room to do whatever chore still needs to be done, or she will go out on one of her killing sprees. like this, she has something to look forward to when she stumbles back inside a long while later: covered in blood, she enters the house, instantly greeted by the sound of your desperate whines echoing from the bedroom…
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boyfriend!matt fucking his girlfriend ᯓ★
Matt's povּ ୨ৎ
"Maaatt, put it in already", she screamed my name excitedly, spreading her legs wider like an obedient slut as I rubbed my cock against her pink panties. She was already so wet that the fabric was showing, giving me a perfect and honorable view of her hungry pussy.
"Calm down, pretty girl. I want to take my time with you," I whispered, holding my dick against her clit, giving weak thrusts, loving the precision of her folds against the tip of my cock.
She moaned slowly, writhing even more – which made me want to tease her. I wanted so badly to stick my cock in that naughty whore, but it couldn't be that easy with my girlfriend. I let out a moan, biting my lip, squeezing my cock with my hand and dragging the length across her lips, teasing her impatience.
"Matt, please, please," she whimpered, her glasses fogging up, her gaze dropping to her crotch. I gripped her thigh, running my hand over the soft, reddened skin. "You have to be more patient, baby," I said, even though I wanted to ram my cock deep inside her.
Her high-pitched whimpers filled the room. "I haven't even put it in yet and you're already crying like a bitch."
She nodded slightly, like the perfect slut she was. I continued to rub my cock against her stained panties—this time, not only with her lube, but also with my pre-cum, and it gave me immense pleasure.
She bucked against me unconsciously, letting out soft moans as I pulled her panties aside, placing the tip at her needy hole. "Yes, yes. That's it", she bit her lip desperately, shaking her body and aggravating her moans. Faced with that situation, I persuaded her with a ruthless purpose, slapping her face to silence her. I knew she loved it when I hit her; she liked to feel helpless and I always wanted to make her feel that vulnerable.
I remember one time when I was fucking her, early in our relationship, and she asked me to spit in her mouth and hit her face until it turned red, and I gladly complied with her request.
After I had hit her, she fell silent, tears rolling down her flushed cheeks. I approached, took off her glasses and kissed her, feeling the sweetness of her lips against mine. She took advantage of the situation and squeezed my cock with her hand, tilting my size inside her and, for a little while, I gave in, but soon I pulled away from her mouth and her touch.
"If you keep this up I'm going to cum and leave you with nothing", I said harshly. She cringed, her doe eyes ready to fill with more tears. However, before the whole scene, I put one of her legs over my shoulder and thrust the tip precisely deeper inside, grunting audibly. It was incredible that, every time I fucked her, it seemed like it was my first time in that tight little pussy.
She buried her head in the pillow, taking off her blouse and giving me the perfect view of those little breasts that I loved so much. I got closer to her body and, consequently, reached the depth of her intimacy, making her scream in despair. I leaned down to bite her begging nipple, giving consistency to the thrusts in her pussy. The way she swallowed me and squeezed me felt so good, so pleasurable... I would never admit it, but, every time, with each deep thrust, I held back an eager and desperate moan just like hers.
I continued sucking her nipple, listening to the symphony of moans in her first language that I didn't even understand, but I was sure that at some point I heard a "fuck me so good" coming out of her lips so urgently and slowly. "Taking me so good, baby", I moaned against her ruined nipple, sucking with intensity. She whimpered in my ear, pulling my hair hard and I loved it.
I sped up my movements as her moans became higher pitched and her pussy wetter; my hips moved against hers so strongly, bringing me the distant feeling of need; each more deliberate in pursuing our pleasure.
"Mhmm, that's it, fuck. You feel so good. Are you gonna cum on my dick, baby?" I asked, gritting my teeth, feeling the rush of cum consume me, but at the same time I wanted that biting sensation to last forever. She nodded and I smiled with desire.
"You love it when I fuck you like this, don't you? You love it when I stick it inside that pussy!" I moaned, not giving a damn if my brothers would hear us. That was always my favorite part. I loved being dirty with her, I loved talking dirty and filling my mouth with obscene words. She agreed with everything I exclaimed, saying in a slurred voice and a foreign accent: "Yes, yes, Matt. Mhmm, you fill me up so good.."
She asked me several times not to stop, squeezing me tighter and tighter with her wet pussy. I touched her clit with my finger, without stopping my movements, and I bent down to kiss her once more, moving my tongue against hers. "You-e 'so hot," she said with some difficulty, making me smile into her mouth like a lovesick idiot – which I indeed was.
At one point, while I was masturbating her, she told me she was close to her orgasm and I steadied my movements, feeling the prowess of her heat. She writhed and let out high-pitched moans and when I thrust once more, she squirted on my cock. I pulled out, masturbating her clit more, prolonging her release. I opened and closed my mouth, with clenched teeth, hissing for her to be quiet. The feeling of her pussy wetting me stirred deep in my chest with immensity.
She had made a mess of my bed, soaking the entire sheet – which made me even more excited. I fingered her entrance and then licked my fingers, moaning at the taste of her mouth. She frowned in disbelief.
I thrust my cock inside her once more, even though she said she couldn't take it anymore, I continued thrusting, amazed by the sounds our hips made. She screamed and writhed, making me more and more frantic. "Such a good girl for me!"
I moved tirelessly, moaning in unison, delirious at the way she held me. I thrust once, twice, three times until my orgasm hit me without blinking. I came inside my girlfriend, drunk with pleasure and sober with desire. I left chaste kisses on her lips, neck, collarbones, the gap between her breasts... Until I gave in to exhaustion — pulling out of her and lying down next to her. She cried in my ear as I pulled out. "Shhh," I whispered.
I found the strength to get up, picking up my underwear from the floor. I got dressed, watching her close her eyes slowly, like a delicate princess, and tried to change the sheets without waking her, moving her body to the other end of the bed when necessary.
After a few minutes, I lay down next to her, covering us. She shifted to the other side, making me the bigger spoon and I fell asleep with my hand on her breast, feeling the warmth of her body against mine so tenderly.
#sturniolo triplets#sturniolos#matt sturniolo#matthew bernard sturniolo#matts pov#sturniolo smut#matt imagine#matt x y/n#matt x reader#matt x you#matthew sturniolo#matt#sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#Matthew sturniolo smut#Spotify#chris sturniolo smut#chris x reader#nick sturniolo smut
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Everlasting Lover
Previous Chapter - Masterlist - Next Chapter
»»-------¤-------««
The drive back to Kiera's house was quiet. Lawson was the only one sober enough to get us back safely. If it were up to me, I would've driven, but I wasn't confident in getting everyone back in one piece as I truly had no idea where the fuck I'd be going.
Roughly a half-hour later, the truck began rumbling as it transitioned onto the gravel driveway leading to the ranch, the lights from the main lodge catching my attention. I still yet waited to meet her parents, but that was a terrifying thought to me because by what Kiera had told me, her father was a hard man to please.
Lawson parked the truck outside Kiera's house, tossing the keys to me as we helped Kiera get out of the passenger seat. She slung her purse over her shoulder as it was clear she was tipsy, but still aware of her surroundings. "Thanks, kid," she said to Lawson, taking the keys from me and putting them in her purse. "I may need to head out somewhere." She said to him, referring to making a sudden trip.
"Not tonight, you're not."
"Sun-fucker!"
"What?"
"You heard what I said."
"You're right, I heard what you said, but I don't understand what the fuck that means."
"Fun-sucker," She corrected, removing her vape pen from her Carhartt shirt pocket, taking a long drag. "That's what I meant to say."
I shook my head with a smirk at her slurring speech, "Fucking hell, let's get you inside."
"I know where I'm going." She said, nearly stumbling on one of the larger gravels in her driveway.
"You sure about that?" I chuckled. "You're about to fall over, love."
"Nope. Got two feet under me."
"Two left feet."
Both Lawson and Frankie began laughing, "Well, just make sure she doesn't kill herself. We're gonna head back down to the bunkhouse."
"I can hear you, asshat." Kiera scoffed at her cousin, taking another long drag from the vape pen, embracing the feeling of an incoming nicotine high. It wasn't a good combination: liquor, beer, an empty stomach, and nicotine with an ounce of adrenaline. "I'm sorry, Simon. I just have a headache. I drank too much."
"You're not telling me anything new," I smirked. "I'm sure it took the edge off. Now you can sleep it off."
"Aye, Captain."
"Lieutenant."
"Right, sorry. I guess you're still in military mode."
"I never come out of it, Officer." I replied, knowing she didn't like to be acknowledged as an officer unless she was on duty, just like I didn't like to be called anything other than Lieutenant when it came to titles.
She rolled her eyes playfully, pulling out her keys from her purse to unlock the front door, snickering as she felt along the wall for the light switch as the faint blue light from her vape pen engaging with another puff gave her enough light to see where she was putting her hand. "Okay, I'm going to bed."
"I was hoping you would," I shook my head. "Do you need anything?"
"A million fuckin' bucks and another vape."
"Give me that," I said, watching her take another drag from it. "That's the fifth time in two minutes you've taken a drag off of that bloody thing. Give it a rest."
"You referred to it as a pacifier," She scoffed, frowning as I took it from her grasp. "I need it."
"What you need is to go to bed. Sleep off all that liquor that you clearly can't take." I poked, loving her reaction, especially when she arched her brows at me as if I offended her. Fuck, she was so cute.
"I beg your damn pardon?"
"You heard that, didn't you?"
"Loud and fucking clear, Lieutenant. I can handle my liquor."
"Yeah, it shows."
"I can't with you."
"No, you can't, that's why you're going to bed."
"Oh, I can, I'll go get more right now if it means proving a point."
"I'll pour it out."
"You wouldn't dare."
I raised his brows at her. In truth, I didn't know where she kept the whiskey, but I knew I could easily toy with her in this state, and I was taking advantage of it. I liked winding her up. It was a release for me as I couldn't recall thinking about anything military-wise while poking at her. "You clearly don't know me, then."
"And you clearly don't know me."
"You're right, I don't, but what I do know is that you can't handle your liquor. What happened to Adderall when I asked you back at the base why you could drink a lot and not seem drunk?"
She scoffed, "Such a jackass. And I'm out."
"You're going to take the biscuit, love."
"Who the fuck started talking about biscuits?" She furrowed her brows and opened her arms.
"It means you're starting to push your luck, darling."
"Well, now I'm hungry for biscuits."
"Go to bed," I breathed a laugh. "I'll go get you a water."
"Aren't you a gentleman."
"Don't get used to it." I poked, although I was lying. I wanted her to get used to me taking care of her, because I could see myself tending to her for the rest of my life. I wanted this, yet I felt stupid because I was thinking about these things way too early.
How does that saying go? When you know, you know? Or something like that?
I watched her walk towards her bedroom, leaving the door open as she set down her purse before turning the corner that led to her bathroom. I then searched the kitchen for a bottle of water, finding one in the fridge before hearing gagging sounds. Bloody fucking hell.
I walked into her bedroom, which was definitely uncharted territory for me, but I didn't care. She sat on the wood floor of her bathroom, hunched over the toilet as the night's activities took their toll on her. "Least you waited until you got home." I commented, daring to step in and take a seat on the side of her bathtub.
"Yeah, I'm just trained to throw up on command." She scoffed, and I could see that she was fighting the urge to throw up again. The smell was sour and mostly liquid - looking more like stomach bile.
"Rough combination, love, but I'll have to give it to you - you took it like a bloke."
"Simon, speak fucking English." She sighed.
I chuckled, shaking my head, "Sorry, let me translate for you: you took it like a champ. That better?" I asked, standing up to then get a cloth from the closet before dampening it in the sink and offering it to her.
"No, because I hate feeling like this."
"Then don't try to have a drink-off with some stranger at a bar with whiskey after you've already had four glasses and a cocktail. It'll fuck you up every time."
"If anyone took it like a champ, it's you. You haven't shown one sign of being drunk."
"Because I know when to stop myself." I replied, making the move to pull her hair behind her shoulders, holding it for her before she regurgitated again, seeing it coming far before she even felt it.
"You don't have to be here at my whim. It's my fault. I don't want you to see me like this-"
"Let it all out. You'll feel better." I said, ignoring her statement.
I wanted to be there.
She relaxed after the next round of unmerciful bile, sitting down completely on the floor as she reached up to flush the empty remains of her stomach. I moved to sit on the edge of the bathtub, watching her skin flush to white. I then handed her another cloth, watching her press it against her forehead. "Thanks."
"Don't mention it. Here," I added, picking up the water bottle from the floor. "Don't drink it too fast or you'll be here all night."
"Thanks for the tip."
I breathed a chuckle, keeping my gaze on her as she looked to be searching for something. "What're you looking for?"
"My nic-stick."
"What in the bloody hell is that?"
"You'd call it a Ciggie." She retorted, using my British slang against me by mocking a British accent.
I then patted the pocket of my jeans, "I don't think so. You're cut off."
She scoffed, "It's mine. I paid for it."
"You sure are paying the price for it right now, huh?"
"God, I can't stand you."
"You can't. That's why you're sitting."
"Simon, I swear to God, if you don't shut up, I'll hit you right where it hurts." She warned, shaking her head as she noticed that I was sitting with my knees apart as it was a comfortable position for me. Manspreading, is the common term for it, but it was just comfortable.
"Big words," I mocked, standing to my feet and offering my hand to her. She hesitated before grabbing it. "Let's go to bed."
She tilted her head, "Wait, are-are you insinuating on going to bed with...me?"
"I meant it as in getting you to bed."
"Oh, well, I mean, if you wanted to, I got a nice King-sized bed in there..." She trailed off in a goofy tone, looking around playfully as if she were asking, but not asking directly.
"I'll keep you up." I replied, not giving her a direct answer, hoping my warning of keeping her awake was enough. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my body around hers, to hold her throughout the night while I was her primary source of warmth while resting my nose against her head. God, I wanted that so bad.
"I doubt that. I sleep like a rock."
"Rocks don't sleep?"
"It's a metaphor, Simon. Christ."
"You still didn't answer my question." She cocked her head at me.
"I don't know. I- you'll be awake all night."
"Yes or no, Simon. Thought you were simpler than that."
Take your fucking shot, Simon. Take it. Embrace her and protect her from her dreams. All you'll be doing is sleeping. There's no harm in that.
"Are you sure that's what you want?"
A brief pause.
"Yes."
"I'll meet you there." I said, ensuring she made it back into the bedroom before I did, watching her sit on the bed as I walked by, sure that the smell of my cologne lingering in the room.
When I returned in a change of clothes, she played on her phone, the TikTok app being her kryptonite as it distracted her from her brief sickness. She giggled at one of the many funny videos, watching me walk around the bed and sit on the edge. "Now you're hyper." I commented.
"No. I feel better, though, but my head hurts. Now's the time to hand me back my nic-stick."
"Not a chance. You're cut off."
She rolled her eyes playfully before setting her phone aside and turning off the lamp, leaving us in complete darkness. "Good-damn-night."
The bed rumbled from the chuckle that was stuck in my throat. I hoped that she was seeing that I was beginning to open up to her, and I hoped that she saw that I was only poking and prodding at her just to get a reaction, not to piss her off.
I lay as stiff as a board on the bed, one arm draped over my stomach and the other folded behind my bed, my body laying over the comforter, listening to her steady breathing as she was slowly falling asleep. I knew I wouldn't fall asleep any time soon, and I was glad that I managed to bring her iPod along with me to drown out the silence. I looked over at her, reassuring myself that she was comfortable and breathing before sifting through her playlists. Living on the Sand by Colter Wall playing through the headphones I had found in the drawer of my loaned room. I then looked up at the ceiling, listening to each lyric as I imagined the song was about me.
♪Keep that gun locked away, locked away, boy; Well, you know you're an angry young man; Going in town with six rounds you're sure to be Hell-bound; That house you've got is built on the sand...♪
I then began to wonder where Kiera's mind would go when she listened to this type of music, wondering how her energy matched with the genre. Perhaps it was the heavy strums of Colter's guitar, or Tyler Childers' raspy Appalachian voice, or Whiskey Myers' guttural lyrics - I liked it all, but it all held a darkness to it that held a lot of meaning and emotion.
As the song ended, I kept his gaze on the rotating ceiling fan as a soft strum of a guitar played on the next song - Everlasting Lover by 49 Winchester began playing. I haven't heard the song before, but I certainly was going to listen to it.
It enticed me as much as she did.
♪Everlasting lover; Oh, how I owe you my gratitude; You were the first to make me feel like I ain't just some dude; Everlasting lover, baby, you've got the kindest eyes; And when mine are red and I look half dead you can't even realize; When I get stoned and feel rejected; weary from the road and half beaten down; you come off of your throne and I feel protected; Oh, and even from the bottom of the bottle I know you won't let me drown...♪
#simonghostriley#simonriley#simon riley#simon ghost riley#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#call of duty modern warfare 2#callofduty#cod#ghost cod mw2#cod mw2 ghost#ghost mw2#cod mwii#cod mw2#cod ghost#ghost call of duty#ghost cod
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I feel like Bez would randomly drop really interesting stories and facts about historical events, movements, the impact of aids, different kind of people and moments regarding LGBTQ rights/ depiction during pride month and the academy just nodding along, asking questions and smiling kindly at him like... Yeah, Bezzy. We know and we will love you forever and regardless of what gender you date unless you're bringing home that Spanish twink than boy you better sleep with an eye open at the ranch or that cock those curls are gone
#motogp#valentino rossi#vr46 academy#pecco bagnaia#marco bezzecchi#marc marquez#He'd be telling them everything there is to know about Marsha P. Johnson#She was a legend and an icon and we own her so much#Please remember her name#I feel like Bez would be very serious about research and homosexuality in history and activists that enable the rights we have today#I know pride month is to publicly remind people that queer people exist in every space#But please#please im begging#Please remember the history#Take a few minutes of your time and read about the history because it's so important to understand what a long way we've come#Remember the heros that made living as a queer person possible#We own them so much#I'm sorry I got carried away you see how much this means to me
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you: nicholas alexander chavez, the actor from ryan murphy's recent work
me, a mama's girl and daytime tv viewer:
#text post#general hospital#nicholas alexander chavez#spencer cassadine#sorry i'm still not over my shock at this lol#i remember asking my mom MONTHS ago (she follows general hospital news online) 'hey wheres spencer i havent seen him in awhile?'#'oh his character died off. the actor is doing some netflix show where he plays a murderer'#and you have to understand. i dont consume anything to do w true crime. but to my 63-year-old mother. ryan murphy doesnt exist#so bc of just how self-contained the archaic institution of network soap operas are. i just. idk i didnt assume it was a big role#it didnt register to me that it was the sequel to the dahmer show. is what i am saying. and i never thought about it again#mommy made it sound like he might be coming back bc soap opera characters fake-die all the time#and so i put the thought out of my head until completely independently i was watching a video about monsters: menendez being flawed#and i was like. going absolutely insane w how familiar he looked i was like 'ok i know that man cant be too famous but i KNOW him'#'i know him from something and i know him WELL from something. like whatever hes from is iconic to me'#and then the video creator said his name and i was like THATS INSANE WHERE DO I KNOW THAT NAME??!?!??#it's a name i read in the credits but probably never thought in my head at all bc sorry he's just spencer to me#so i googled it and i was gobsmacked. i was like MOM DIDNT SAY he was gonna be in THIS SHIT!?!?!?#i also do lay my life down on the defense that the cinematography of a prestige netflix drama makes him less recognizable to me#who knew him best under cheap soap opera lighting in basic back and forth dialogue shots. like#i have to be honest i never cared for his looks on gh bc he just kinda looked like too perfect. like he looked like a mannequin#i see it now though i get it#i get why he's very fan editable to the true crime girlies i get it#not that it matters. im just in mourning bc it never occurred to me the spencer era was over. i actually liked his character#i cant tell u why bc he wasnt all that distinguishable from all the other basic dramatic character archetypes. idk it was a good performanc#i cant explain to u what makes a soap opera character distinct while still being completely generic (they all are)#i also liked his relationship w his girlfriend in the show it was cute. he was evil but they were sweet#nicky please come back. im begging u. as your only general hospital era fan who is your age#i dont wanna watch monsters menendez i reeeeeally dont
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sorry but i'm going to need everyone to stop writing autistic / "gifted" (in quotes because i hate that term) characters who were little baby geniuses that skipped grades and graduated as valedictorian and were every teacher's pet because it's the most unrealistic shit ever and kind of just perpetuates this ableist misconception when in reality most autistic / gifted kids are more likely to be abused and exploited and bullied (both by peers and teachers), especially if they are not rich and especially if they are not white
#delete later.#i don't wanna fuck w anyone's characterization but i see this trope being written far too often#and i need people to acknowledge how harmful is actually is because the reality of what happens is really bleak#i know most people just aren't aware that it's harmful and aren't being malicious#but please talk to any person who actually experienced being a gifted autistic child#i can almost promise you that very few have good things to say about their school experience#i'm very sensitive about it because being that kid and experiencing certain things still affects me to this day#and it is something that is currently affecting my best friend's little sister who is in middle school#please if you aren't sure how to write these characters you can literally come ask me questions (even if we aren't mutuals)#i won't sugarcoat it bc i do want people to understand the reality#like pleeeeease i am begging bc its just getting so hard to see everyone make this mistake again and again#SORRY FOR THE RANT. I REALLY HAD TO SAY IT#rant tw /
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(´・ᴗ・ ` )
#I really like the “We're the bad guys' enemy” line. For someone I generally despise Dazai has all my favourite lines in this show…#Idk I can't really vibe with the unbalance that there is between s/kk.#Like when push comes to shove‚ Dazai has the power to keep Chuuya alive or let him die.#I understand why they make a compelling dynamic in their complexity‚ but it just doesn't do it for me.#I'm a little sad my opinion on them hasn't really changed since I watched the anime for the first time...#Also; I really can't vibe with Chuuya allowing Dazai to kill Q. Yes I know Chuuya cares about his comrades deeply.#Yes I know it can be interpreted as Chuuya seeing himself in Q as a living weapon and being disgusted by it#(though I honestly don't think that was intentional of the author).#Yes I know Chuuya is a mafioso and kills people. No I don't think your personal issues justify you being a dick to other people I'm sorry.#Back to my main annoyance with the episode: I must have already talked about this but I hate hate hate the narrative#“the mafia works for the city” “the mafia deeply loves the city too” it's so so sickening and insulting please stop I'm begging.#Please visit any actual city with a rooted mafia presence for once in your life (signed: someone whose hometown was destroyed by the mafia.#The writers really don't know what they're talking about and‚ politely‚ it's offensive.)#Also b/sd keeping being extremely nationalist with Mori (who's largely depicted unsimphatetically for the first part of the episode)–#bringing up western thinkers and subtly mocking Fukuzawa for not knowing them–#and Fukuzawa (the righteous man. the noble spirit and just soul in this episode and Mori's antithesis)–#stepping forward to say that he knows strategists from the east (because who else would he need?)#I don't know if it's meant to symbolize the conflict with an hostile and invading foreign power (the Guild).#But it does come across as. A very isolationist way of thinking.#I know it's subtle but it's really evident for me. And I didn't want to talk about this any further…#But by bringing actual examples of this I hope I can better explain why I think that b/sd holds nationalist views–#and that I'm not just making it up out of nowhere. Otherwise I fear I'd only come off as pettily hostile to b/sd in everything#That's it. I feel like I've been losing a lot of mutuals over my main recently due to not shutting up (sorry)#so I suppose it's only fair I lose them on here too pffttt.#Tune in next week for more bad takes#random rambles
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I tend to be a little quiet when it comes to this because we all hate this subject the most, but... Don't try to involve me into any sort of drama and that's something in my rules, I only come here to do one thing: Roleplay and then leave, I am sick and completely mentally stressed to the point I have been having dissociative episodes that my therapist is extremely worried about, I don't have time to care about drama or anything about he said or she said.
At the end of the day tumblr is just a hobby for me to share with people I came to be friends with and love their writing dearly, I won't let anyone drag me down.
#❴♥❵ out of snowflakes.#( also this is not a vague about anyone... this is mostly about me not wanting to take part into drama )#( please understand that i do not cope well around these situations and i tend to shut down faster than you imagine )#( so if you come at me with drama expecting me to fight / rage / whatevs know that i'm most likely to simply shut down and disappear )#( i don't like drama i don't like arguing )#( so i beg to leave me completely out of it. )
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someone: "I like Spring and Summer ... " me: "Cool, cool, most people do, yes." someone: "... but Autumn and Winter are awesome too!" me: "!! Hell yeah they are!" someone: "There's lots to appreciate in these seasons too." me: "So true, so true." someone: "People should learn to appreciate the beauty in bleak desolation!" me: "... Now wait a minute - I guess that's also true but -" someone: "Even though Autumn and Winter are nothing but death and emptiness, I still like them!" me: "Please ... please stop ..." someone: "#goth #witch" me: *agonized screams*
#just had to vent because i feel like if i see another post like this i may lose ittt#Autumn and Winter are not death and desolation okay?!#things are not dying in Autumn they are CHANGING. things are not dead in Winter they are SLEEPING.#this is a time of recharging and resting after a long year of hard work! as with nature so with us you know???#if you can appreciate a caterpillar liquefying itself into a cocoon so it can become a different insect with colorful wings#then surely you can appreciate the much more appealing to look at beauty of these seasons?#without talking like they're some empty deathscape of nothingness?!#the beautiful shifting colors of the foliage and the leaves floating through the air?#the late crops ready to be harvested? the smell of the dampened earth? the crisp November wind?#the silver-gray cloud banks? the sparkling frost and snow? the condensation of the air as you breathe it in and out?#the animals undergoing their ancient rituals of migration or hibernation?#and the ones that stick out the cold - the chickadee's song echoing on a frozen morning? little paw prints in the snow?#like ... come on. please. i'm begging you to understand#and a witch would recognize the beauty and necessity of this part of the cycle of nature!#and any self-respecting goth loves the cold months! (okay i'm half-joking with this one. but only half!)#anyway ... i'll shut up now#tbd
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@ the people saying kind words and offering me english alternatives for the czech in my last post
first of all, I know you mean well and I love you to bits and I'm giving you a little kissy, ok? But... guys I do know English phrases... hahhah
Listen,,,, I am chronically online and I do actually have a certificate from C2 exams that is just 5 points shy of being 100%. I Know it absolutely doesn't look that way but that's just because I'm the laziest guy around and I don't feel like fixing it after myself when I have the excuse of being a foreigner- sahdjsd
so when i use czech words it is not out of the necessity of not knowing any substitutes but just me goofing around and going haha funny word go brr
#man this is probably coming of as mean and super defensive but its not supposed to be 😭😭 (tones still hard in any language)#it is genuinly super nice of you to try to help out!! and you couldn't have known so 💞#but just throwing that out there....jasdhksdj#o(-( man#ykno like i said throwing in cz words is just me having fun with it#since its my scribble side blog and all that#because due to spending almost all my free time connected to english-centric internet my own language/culture took a bit of a backseat#like even in my day to day life which is very prevalent among lot of foreign people today#but i wont get into it now it doesn't rly matter#so me throwing in some funky words is me just having fun around and trying to bring some of it back while i doodle#but looking back at it it is prolly weird to do since ykno its Chinese so what is cz doing there and no one will understand it anyway#so ppl are probably left feeling confused or cheated out of something#so i should probably just stick with eng alternatives#oh well#idk why im even making this post this has completely derailed ashdk and again I'm not mad at beloveds who commented and left tags#it just made me think#and overthinking hahh bcuz im in the middle of stressful projects#plus tHE STUPIDASS UNI DOENST WANNA ACCEPT MY MONEY OK PLEASE TAKE IT I BEG OF U I WILL PAY EARLIER NEXT TIME (lying)#anyway thats all jhds uhh bye#wait im already having regrets about making this post in the first place man but i did spend valuable time typing it out so ughhh
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it really goes to show how i curate my fandom experience bc i had no idea people were campaigning for 'canon' spirk in SNW
for all intents and purposes spirk is already canon. what do we gain from a love confession? from a kiss? when we already have literally ALL of star trek iii. how many times does kirk need to say that his and spock's soul are the same? was his massive sacrifice not enough, only to tell sarek that "what i have done, i had to do... if i hadn't, the cost would've been my soul." how one of the final shots in the movie is them literally MIRRORING each other.
spirk are soulmates first and they're already canonically like that in tos and the movies. it's so frustrating it's such a shallow understanding of their tos relationship. one of the beauties of it is how difficult it is to give it one label, yet it's so obvious they have a deep love and respect for each other. they are soulmates and friends and comrades and allies. they are two parts of the same soul. we've known this for decades.
#this is another old man yells at cloud thing i know#but i'm begging folks to like. learn basic media analysis#is your understanding of media so shallow that someone has to come out and say 'we are in love' for you to understand it?#especially when kirk has said over and over that spock's soul and his are linked? that spock's soul should've been his burden to carry?#come ON please use your brain#how many of these folks have even watched tos#ren speaks
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I need you all to know that this is NOT on my main account. I'm saving that for streaming in about an hour.
I was rolling on my enemy farming account with the 90 wishes I had to get Wanderer, and........
Well. Cool that was one ten pull, lucky!!! That's never happened to me before!!! Nice.
Hmm, but I wanna get Xingqiu from the shop when he comes back, so I'm gonna keep rolling and get some starglitter to get him--
--C2?!?!?!?!?!?
NEVER MIND I GOT A MONA JUST BEFORE THIS.
HELP????? I JUST USED UP ALL OF MY LUCK ON THE BABY ACCOUNT NOOOOOOO WANDERER WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS BABY PLEASE WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT--
#PLEASE COME HOME LIKE THIS ON MY MAIN PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU WRENN#PLEASE DON'T HATE ME THERE I WANNA C6 YOU SO BAD#I NEED YOU ALL TO UNDERSTAND I GOT 4 FIVES STARS AND 3 OF THEM WERE THE RATE UP#FROM JUST 90 WISHES#THIS IS INSANE#WELL GOOD FOR BABY ACCOUNT BUT NOW I'M WORRIED FOR MY MAIN ACCOUNT'S LUCK
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one thing I truly hate is watching male dominated shows and disliking the two or so female characters that ARE gracefully permitted to make minor appearances. I swear it's not you babe, it's the writing
#I will NEVER understand why people like Meg2.0 or Jo#like those bitches were so incredibly bland.#Meg1 was FUN and Ruby is the bestest girl immaginable but those two Strong Female Characters(tm)?!#Jo was that Little Sister Best Buddy but Fuckable trope and Meg2.0 was like. TOUGH! but............she's sad#like girls I'm begging they are so incredibly boring please please let's all just watch different shows#that policewoman should've fucked Sam but otherwise she was fine.#I'd say something about claire but I cannot be bothered to wait until she comes around#but frankly I'm assuming it's the same concept they did for Jo (tough but SWEET! but tough!!) except Dean was too old to fuck her#also re:rowena - 1) should fuck Sam as well 2) didn't they end up making her sad too? like no thank you. pass#my weekly spn post I guess
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#I think I might be a sociopath. Like genuinely.#Or is it just the autism:(#One time I was like 'i am sad that everyone seems to enjoy me but no one ever wants to be my friend or want me around outside of required#hours like class or work or whatever'#And the person replied 'that's just being autistic' like thanks. Glad to know no one will ever like me or want to be my friend#Ever. Because of a thing in my brain that I cannot control and do not understand#Nothing ever feels good for longer than two minutes and I have never had more than one friend at any given time#I have only ever had acquaintances ie people I know but would never interact w me outside of class or work#Even if we were entirely compatible people#My college freshman cousin has a 30+ ppl friend group like#Like I am fun and bubbly and always joking and laughing irl!!! Is it too much?????? Do I unsettle people? Am i annoying? Is it the autism?#Am I just an idiot. Am I not classifying 'friend' right.#Man I need help and no one has helped me even when I begged for it :(#When you text your friend 'i am about to commit suicide can I please come over' you're supposed to be allowed over right#Or when you say 'yeah I don't know if you understood that text that night I told you that because I was about to commit suicide'#They're supposed to help you then right#I didn't say it in such aggressive terms but fucking god#At least the disappointment of not getting a text back pulls me out of my anguish at having a shitty brain and a sucky life#I FANTASIZE about being asked if I'm okay!!! I make up scenarios where someone asks how I'm doing and means it!!! That's not normal!!!!#Please care about me I know it's a lot to ask#Do NOT send me an ask saying 'r u ok' like that one time like two years ago that made me feel worse thanks.#You care so much you can't even add two more letters to make even one complete word even that is wasted effort when it comes to me :((#God it sucks so much having never been loved or wanted in any capacity#Is friendship even a real thing that exists. Do people actually like and want each other around. Do people hug. Is that real.
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she has literally called for a ceasefire so i don't think this post is helpful. you are criticising her word choice while ignoring what she actually stands for (ceasefire in palestine! ceasefire in palestine! ceasefire in palestine!)
(links and screenshots from a post by @runawaymarbles, thank you)
I don’t know how else to say this but you quite literally cannot have “unwavering commitment to Israel” while caring about the humanitarian toll in Gaza. Right? Unwavering commitment to Israel is what has made the humanitarian crisis so severe. It’s was gives the funds for the Israeli war machine. It provides the bombs. It’s what allowed a war criminal to address congress with no repercussions. I mean truly, genuinely, you cannot claim to care about Gazans and maintain unwavering support of Israel
#i'm not even american but i'm begging you guys to read the news and actually understand your candidates' stances before you come here#to complain about a politician talking like a politician without actually learning what her policies are#honest to god have you never heard a politician speak before? do you understand what a tightrope walk she's doing#every time she opens her mouth?#she is pushing a ceasefire in gaza but trying to make it palatable for centrist pro-israel voters#is it gross that she has to do this? yes#but you should be glad she is bc she's doing everything she can to actually get elected#so that she CAN make a difference#jfc#please#like it or not she HAS to pay lip service to a political ally#that's diplomacy#even if you don't know shit about politics i'd've thought you could have figured that out from watching game of fucking thrones or somethin#GOD#IT'S NOT EVEN MY FUCKING COUNTRY
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