#like 'julian not being a dreamer any more because he had to survive' DESTROYED ME. and then i had to keep reading

[bookishjules]

(tags from op)

i think julian does a lot of projecting onto his siblings. those closest to him, ty and livvy, genius and protector, are the mantle he has taken upon himself in order to run the institute and keep his family together. his older siblings were the consequence of that: imprisoned (like mark) by the law and the nature of his heart, separated (like helen) by lies and the necessary sacrifice of simple siblinghood. and the younger ones are that which he had to leave behind to do so.. tavvy is his innocence, and dru.. dru is where he reallocated the dreamer in him to.

but the thing is.. julian's dreamer came from his innocence, from his creativity and wonder. dru's, on the other hand, was one bred from tragedy. he tell's her to watch over his innocence, but for dru.. the two are not inherently linked. she knows all the things that can go wrong. she escapes to worlds where things go wrong. it's catharsis for her, but it means she's learned how to push on and fight back, and how to create a bubble around herself and others. so when the family loses their protector--when they lose livvy, but also, to that end, the protector that julian was to them--she steps into that position. only, where julian (and livvy) maintained an outward-facing protective stance, dru's feels more insulated, consoling. there's an i can be what you need me to be attitude there. because she's dreamed of tragedy. and as julian's dreamer--set aside, kept safe, holding the hand of innocence--that was how she learned to exist in the world.

Mark calling Julian "my dreamer" & Julian calling Dru "the dreamer" :(