#lifetime well done you have proven it again

[existingingrey]

They really said let's go all the way.

백공죽 Extended Version.

[sterredem]

She’s real!?

Charles Leclerc x reader

Face claim random Pinterest girls

Summary Charles has said he has a girlfriend for a few years now. But the longer people hasn’t seen her the more they think they he made her up. Until they are proven wrong

Warning fluff, rushed, maybe some spelling mistakes.

A/N the ending was ruched cause I am working on something bigger. But This has been in my draft for weeks so I wanted to put it out before the big thing.

Charles knew that he was lucky. He had an amazing girlfriend, his dream job, great friends, enough money so that he could last a lifetime, fans that supported him and a family that loved him.

But not everyone believed that he had all that. It may sound a bit weird because they where all facts. …right?

Well not every on of them. The first one the girlfriend one. That one wasn’t. He claimed he has one. And he always brings her up, for 3 years now. And you may think ‘well why don’t people believe him then?’ Well that can be answered quite easily.

No one has seen her yet. Well not no one because his family and his closes friends have. But they have never been seen public, and if they did see her they didn’t know it because they don’t know who she is and how she looks. They know there is someone, just not how she looks, what she does or what her name is.

And that is why people don’t believe him. Even some of his close friends and colleagues don’t. His team doesn’t even believe him.

And that’s all because they wanted to wait with going public. They wanted to wait because Y/n was really busy with her school work and Charles was travelling the world for formula 1. They did live together in his house in Monaco. But they didn’t see each other that often. But they still managed to keep it private.

And they do want to make it public. But in the first year that they where together they decided to keep it quiet, and when they where in their second year, she was really busy with school and being in her year before her exams she needed to study a lot. And then with him travelling the world and having a lot of trouble with Ferrari they still didn’t have the time. And now in their third year together, she was in her last year of school and studying a lot and him starting the season again. They still didnt find the time to go public.

And when they did find the time they where together and enjoying the privacy they had. So they decided to not hard launch yet and just torture the fans and public with corny soft launches.

And while they enjoyed the privacy they had. Charles did find it annoying that his friends and fans didn’t believe him. And he tried everything, but he will prove that she is real. Even if it will cost their privacy.

When Charles walken in the paddock alone… again, people stared looking and asking questions. A bit teasing of course.

And when it was media day there were a few questions about his ‘girlfriend’ but he successfully dodged them all. Not that he didn’t want to talk about her. But his media team said that it was better to not answer them, and he talked to Y/n about it and she said that it if came up he could talk about her. But just not randomly saying stuff.

So as promised he kept quite about their relationship. And when Fp1 and 2 rolled around it was still going great.

Well besides the teasing comments from his colleagues and even his team.

And when qualifying came around it was going really great. He started on 5th place, with was not the best but still good.

But then Race day came and he was as pretty excited. He started on a good place and Carlos was back again.

He ignored it for now and talked with his engineer for the last time before the race.

Before he got in his car he checked his phone one last time to see y/n has wished his good luck, he smiled a bit at that. But when he looked up again he saw that Carlos shot him a knowing look.

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After Charles was done at Australia he got on a plane. When he was in the airport he saw his girlfriend. He ran up to her and hugged her. After not seeing her for a few days he had missed her.

“Hey amour, I missed you” he said in her hair while hugging her.

“Hey love, I missed you too. So much” she said looking up at him smiling. What they didn’t notice is Joris taking pictures (not that they would mind).

“Would you want to go home or walk around a bit?” She asked with a slight smile while looking in his eyes.

“I think it would be fun to walk around wouldn’t it?” He asked while putting a bit of hair behind her ear.

“Yeah it would. Come on we should get to the car.” She said while grabbing his hand. “Hey guys good too see you.” She said addressing the other people that where with her boyfriend (and a few of the little people that knew about them and believed it).

“Yeah yeah. Good too see you too y/n/n. Could you just keep the PDA down or something?” Joris said reading a bit.

“Oh sure, I will just keep down being with my boyfriend after no one believes we are together and not seeing each other for a few days. You know you are lucky, you get to be with his all the time.” She said jokingly.

“Yeah yeah whatever.” Joris said while smiling at the couple. They really where something.

“Where do you guys want to go?” She asked looking at Charles again.

“We could just walk around the city and maybe catch the sunset, no?” Charles said while they all walked to the car.

“Yeah that would be fun.” She said opening the back door. “Who wants to drive!” She asked specifically to the other two boys not wanting Charles to drive with his parking skills.

“I could drive, Andrea so you want to go home? I can drop you off and give the lovebirds some time to catch up. ” Joris said.

“Oui, s'il vous plaît.” Andrea said while getting in the passenger seat. (Yes please.)

After dropping Andrea off at his home and walking around the city for a few hours they decided to go to a field to watch the sunset.

“It is so pretty.” Y/n said while looking at the sunset.

“Yeah it is.” He said looking at her. Admiring her.

A few hours later they decided to go hand and hang out there. Joris was with them for a bit longer after deciding to go home too.

Once it was just them they cuddled un in bed and talked for a bit longer.

“Hey Charlie I have a question.” Y/n said once the conversation dialed down a bit.

“What is that Belle?” He said looking- no more admiring her.

“Would you want to go public? And if when?” She asked playing with his hair.

“Of course I would want to go public. And whenever we are ready.” He said kissing his head.

“What if I just come to the paddock and surprise everyone. And we just randomly hard launch?” She asked looking at him.

Charles looked at her thing about it. “It would be fun wouldn’t it?” He asked smiling at her with a little smirk.

“Should we?” She asked him.

“We cou wait a few races, maybe chose a good one. We could stir up some thing. Maybe soft launch some?” He asked her now being a lot more serious then before when they just joked around and talked a bit.

“That would be fun.”

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After Y/n postet that on her story a lot of people begin to notice. Especially because Joris was posted. So when people begin to put everything together they where shocked.

So with now people beleving Charles Y/n could finally be at an race. And that happened. And people loved it.

The drivers where shocked that she was real, so where the fans and the people that worked their.

But they where all happy for them

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[yesimwriting]

okay but after the whole lucy gray thing we know coryo was done with “love” and everything BUT what if during the following year of thg he ends up falling in love with another tribute also from district 12 and he’s just going through it bad (again) however he somehow ends up actually getting the girl in the end, maybe even buying her way into the capitol

A/n I've been thinking about a very specific part of this since i first read it but i told myself no more fic writing until i finished at least one of my essays for finals seasons 😭

also ik in the book (and it's implied in the movie) that after the events of the book he lives with the plinths, but let's pretend he lives on his own with access to the plinth fortune for privacy

ik that makes it sound like it's smutty, but it's not lol

----

Proximity aggravates distance. The closer you are to something, the more damage any remaining space causes.

The few feet dividing the two of you have no right to jab at something inside of him the way it does. It's bad enough that instead of going to bed after a long night of fulfilling his apprenticeship duties under Volumnia's watchful eye, he stopped by your apartment. Only one floor away from his.

For months, the only thing holding the two of you together had been memories of those few nights before the Games.

Coriolanus's attempt to remain indifferent towards you had quickly failed, and his backup plan of learning to loathe you had proven to be just as useless. So he settled on letting you unabashedly take his hand whenever fear overwhelmed you and committing the way your kind eyes watched him to memory.

You're looking around the room--his room--openly, eyes darting from the mahogany surface of his desk to the details elegantly carved into his bed frame.

His fingertips itch with the uncertain desire to reach for you. You've only been in the Capitol for about a day and a half. Less than 48 hours. But the move, the beginning of a program for certain, qualifying victors and their families, had been planned for months.

You shouldn't feel like a phantom that'll vanish if he lets go for too long. "What are you thinking about?"

The question grounds you the same way it did last time he asked. You do your best to hide it, but you're still adjusting, still surprised that he managed to find a way to bring you together again. Just like he promised. Your doubt isn't personal, a fact he has to remind himself of.

"I'm just..." You tilt your head slightly, gaze retreating from the royal blue wallpaper and silver trim of his bedroom walls, "Analyzing."

The comment is followed by an easygoing smile that pinches at something in his chest. His new apartment, the penthouse of one of the largest buildings in the city, another gift from the ever flowing well that is the Plinth fortune, still reeks of former poverty. The few things that hint at the personal are hidden behind layers of desperate wealth so thick the items might as well be standard.

A lifetime spent in 12 means that there's no way you can read between the lines. He can't decide if your perspective will make this room look worse or better. It's a nice bedroom, definitely grander than any bedroom you've stood in before...but it's understated. Maybe even disappointing to someone like you.

"Analyzing?"

You turn fully, "A bedroom says a lot about a person."

"You might get more out of analyzing my study," an oddly school boy worthy partial truth slips out before he can stop himself, "I think I've been spending more time there than here recently."

You shake your head once, eyes landing on the crimson red vase filed with crisp white roses his grandma'am had gifted him on his last visit. Her pride and joy now more than ever. "I'm seeing all I need."

A hint of a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. It's the most genuine expression that's slipped past him in weeks. When he first worked out a way to bring you here, some doubting part of him wondered if the draw he felt towards you would still exist in person.

Less than two weeks after your victorious departure from the Capitol, he had searched through your files and found your address. He had written the letter in a moment of weakness and only sent it after deciding that writing a letter to never be sent is the only thing more pathetic than writing to you in the first place. He had spent the week following that wallowing in self loathing until an age-stained envelope arrived at his door.

"And what are you seeing?" He keeps his tone light. This is ridiculous. He dragged himself and his family out of a gutter clogged by the casualties of war. Coriolanus is stronger than fleeting emotion now. Your opinions on his room can't possibly affect him.

If he were to simplify what brought you here, to the Capitol, to him, he could blame it on his bedroom. The urge to see you, to figure out some way the two of you closer together before your undeserving district could swallow you whole in an attempt to make you like them, would flare up whenever he received one of your letters.

Those urges, however, had never burned him. Not until you wrote about wanting to see him out of the most curious nostalgia you'd ever felt. You wanted to see him in a way that'd let you know what his room looked like, in a way that'd let you guess at his favorite color.

He takes a few steps forward, making the conscious decision to not reach for you. You've never rejected his advances, not even when he instinctually intertwined your fingers after picking you and your family up from the train station. You had scolded him after, telling him that you'd hear no end of it from your mother. It took a lot of focus for Coriolanus to not smile at that. You spoke of it like it would've never occurred to you to just pull your hand away.

Your eyes shift from end of the room to the other. Coriolanus moves carefully, passing you before sitting at the edge of his crisply made bed.

"Before you make your decision..." You turn instinctually, expression so polite and expecting he almost doesn't know how to bear it. His hand briefly pats the space beside him in a silent invitation. "So you can see it from all perspectives."

Your head tilts slightly, and for a moment, Coriolanus can practically feel your rejection. Then you move, sock clad feet treading over smooth white-gray marble. You sit next to him so assuredly, anyone else would have taken the way you neatly fold your hands in your lap as politeness instead of a display of nerves.

Your family's presence makes you less pliable. It's a factor he's willing to work around considering that you would've never left them to come to the Capitol. And even if he had managed to talk you into it, your nostalgia and homesickness would've made you more of a ghost to him than before.

At least the position your family's in is uncertain enough to allow for some leeway in the social norms that you cling to. However, every once in awhile it hits you that at the end of the day, he's still a boy that you're close to, which means that it's your duty to create the distance necessary to keep everything proper. Leaving your bedroom in the middle of the night because said boy knocked at your door and then entering his room in his empty penthouse is something you would've done under normal circumstances.

But your connection isn't that black and white. If it was something so simple, he would have been able to sever it the night before your Games.

"It makes all the difference," you agree warmly, and only somewhat sarcastically. You give yourself another second to take in the space, "I like it."

He can tell that you mean it. "I haven't fully settled in yet."

You shrug, paying him little mind, "There's something about it that just feels like you."

Coriolanus shifts his focus to the ground. You can't possibly mean it in the way that he sees the room, as a reminder that he still doesn't fully fit into who he's become.

"I've been meaning to pick up a few things," he says, "Tomorrow, after my classes, I was thinking about browsing some paintings." Another half truth. He had been meaning to. Mrs. Plinth had instructed him to visit her art dealer whenever he had enough free time to pick out a few pieces to demonstrate his taste. He'd been putting it off as a dismissable task, but it feels like a safe way to give you your first taste of life in the Capitol. "If you'd like to help me pick some out."

You smile, eyebrows pinching together in a way that's just barely noticeable. You're as interested as you are puzzled. "I'd like that." Relaxing enough to let your hand rest between the two of you, you beam, "I don't know if I'd be much help, but I'd like that."

He'd be willing to get anything that caught your eye. Paintings and vases already with such an exclusive art dealer hold more or less the same level of standing, anyway.

Coriolanus moves his hand slowly, careful not to startle you before his fingers can settle against your own. You instinctually turn over your palm, intertwining your fingers. "I trust you."

You stare at him with wide, understanding eyes. Sometimes when you look at him, really look at him, Coriolanus is struck with the feeling that you can see right through him. It's an irrational feeling, that every good action and cruel deed is reflected in his eyes. Moments like this make it hard to be near you. They also, however, make the thought of adding distance between the two of you unbearable.

"I have an early class."

You dip your chin forward in an attempt to accept what you're considering a dismissal. "Right, you must be tired." The words sit between you for a long moment.

Your free hand presses into the silk of your still new pajamas. You shift like you're going to stand. His hold on your hand tightens before you can move away. You still.

He's being ridiculous. There's nothing about this situation that warrants his inability to look at you. "Stay here." His thumb runs across your knuckles. "With me."

The words are soft enough to be a request, but there's not enough space between them for questioning. He cautiously lifts his head enough to take in your reaction.

"What?" It's a display of shock more than an actual question. Coriolanus squeezes your hand even tighter. You don't try to get him to let go, but you do shift away just enough to create the reminder of distance. "You know I can't."

His other hand reaches forward, settling against your wrist. "Why not?" He doesn't mean for his voice to come off as raspy, as desperate as it does.

You swallow, attempting to straighten your spine in an attempt to offset the instinctual urge to hide your face. This isn't a topic you're even comfortable implying. "My mother would kill me if she so much as found out that I came up here so late, let alone..." You trail off, head dropping to your lap. "Stayed here."

He envelops your hand between both of his. "She knows we're friendly."

You look up just long enough to imply a pointed not that friendly. "It's--" You blink, eyes darting from to your joint hands and then finally to the ground. "You know it's..."

Coriolanus leans forward. The shift is small, just enough for his knee to brush against yours. "It's what?" He keeps his voice low, a barely there whisper that comes off as so innocent it nearly circles back to anything but.

You glance up, so wide eyed and flighty he's reminded of a rabbit. The level of precaution you're exuding can't just be about your mother's opinions, can it? He studies your expression openly, taking in the set of your eyebrows and the way you steadily press your lips together to avoid speaking without thinking. At least some part of you believes in your mother's concerns.

The realization strike shim so quickly he has to focus on keeping his expression neutral. Your bond is so much more than just coming together on a random night where exhaustion's already clouding his focus.

It will happen between the two of you. Eventually. But not yet. You've barely entered the Capitol and every aspect of your life has become vastly different than what you're accustomed to. If he were to attempt to cement any relationship between the two of you like that now, you'd be too overwhelmed or you might think that that's the only reason he brought you here.

He learned early on that it's best to introduce adjustments to you slowly, giving you enough time to hold onto ideas before enacting them. Anything of that nature would work that way too.

"I haven't been able to see much of you." He focuses on your hand, still resting safely between both of his. The words came out too quickly, a flash of some genuine sort of emotion that claw at him on the way out. With you, sometimes a glimpse of feeling works wonders.

Your thumb draws gentle patterns against the side of his hand. "You're busy." He relaxes his hand, turning over his palm. You place his hand on your knee, fingers tracing the natural creases etched into his skin. "You're important."

The way that last word comes out makes an uncertain warmth crawl up his neck. "I--I've wanted to see you more." Another thing he means so much it turns his stomach to admit it.

Your nail drags down a line that cuts across the length of his hand. "Me too."

He bends his fingers slowly, moving in until he's trapped your pointer finger against his palm. "Then stay." You twist your finger enough to express some lighthearted irritation, but not enough to count as a real attempt at escaping. "If your mother says anything, I'll explain it to her." You glare at him without any true aggression. "She likes me, doesn't she?"

Coriolanus already knows the answer. She credits your survival to him. You had mentioned that in a letter once, telling him that she insisted you pass along her gratitude after discovering that the two of you had started to correspond regularly.

He also saw the way she reacted to realizing that she had made it to the Capitol. Your mother's family had once been part of the wealthier side of 12. You're part of a recently fallen line of mine owners, a fact that your mother has only pretended to let go of. He saw a hunger behind her eyes that reminded him of a warped version of his own.

Coriolanus gave her back the pride the war had stolen from her family name tenfold. He owes her this much.

"She'd trade me for you in a heartbeat." He hears the grin in your voice more than he sees it. Your family means the world to you, which means he's subjected himself to seeking your mother's validation and winning over your two younger sisters.

It's not the way he'd choose to spend his limited free time, especially with you standing right there, but he's endured worse for less of a pay off. "Then she'd be a fool."

You fight to hold his gaze. "I doubt that."

Your eyes are pools of honest, unfiltered affection. The care that you're watching him with makes it hard to swallow. The instinct to press, to dig and claw and tear anything that could be hiding an ulterior motive into shreds makes it hard to take a full breath. You've always worn your heart on your sleeve. You're not a flighty songbird that uses its charm to distract its prey from its fang-like talons.

"Stay." Again. So breathless he almost doesn't recognize the word as his own.

The deliberation is transparent behind your eyes. You're considering it, but you're still not convinced. The hesitation stings in a way he doesn't understand. "I don't want to give her a reason to not like you."

So softly spoken he's shocked by the way the words manage to feel like a nail being hammered into his chest.

"She's let you stay with other people before." The response is too sharp, too sudden. He should refocus and think through what he's about to say. Coriolanus knows that it's easier to get you to agree to something through the use of honey sweetened words and displays of patience. "You wrote about him."

The confusion that briefly etches its way into your expression threatens to quell the uncomfortable swell of jealousy tightening his chest. "Warren?" The name makes tints the air between you with something acidic. "That was--different."

Your explanation adds an edge to the pressure in his chest. "Why?"

"We weren't--" You cut yourself off, the instinct to placate him and your desire to not start a conversation you can't finish battling each other oddly. "We were never alone." You squeeze his hand as best as you can. "He's a family friend and I only stayed over when my mom had to work late and I was too young to be alone for so long, so I haven't stayed over in years. And--and he shared a room with three of his siblings and his parents checked on us constantly."

He frowns, unconvinced. The lack of approval has you clinging to him, adjusting your hold on his hand as you gently trail your knuckles against the inside of his wrist. "I do miss you." You stare at your hands. "I know it's weird because we're--y'know--closer than before, but I-I do miss you."

The expanding wave of tension in his chest begins to deflate. You're good at that, at redirecting and soothing without even realizing it. A talent that had contributed to his original desire to loathe you. "I understand that." He runs his thumb over your knuckles. "Things aren't going to get less busy. That's why I want to use all the time we have."

You nod slowly, a hint of understanding making its appearance in the set of your brow. "I know."

"What you wrote," he begins, too aware of how much he means the question that follows, "Did you mean it."

"Of course I did." Not an ounce of hesitation, of uncertainty.

He turns your hand over before shifting his fingers up the inside of your wrist. "You wrote about wanting to see me."

"I did..." The pad of his thumb gently makes its way up your forearm. Your even breathing falters. "I do."

Coriolanus lets himself look up just enough to take in your expression. "Then stay." He swallows, too aware of the sudden dryness of his mouth. "Please."

You glance up at him through your lashes. There's a softness there that jabs at him. "Okay."

He lifts the back of your hand, carefully brushing his lips against your skin. "You mentioned wanting to see a library."

You wrote about it once. A brief mention in one of your letters of the small room in your school's office that served as a sort of communal study space with a few books stacked on a small shelf. Your longing had been clear.

Nodding curiously, you agree, "Yeah?"

"I could leave for my classes a little earlier tomorrow, you could come with me." The proposal comes out slowly, his own suggestion taking him by surprise. "My driver could bring you back, that'll give you time to meet the tutor that's being sent over for your sisters, and then when I get back we'll look at the paintings."

You immediately grin, "Really?"

He finds himself smiling back, pulling your arm closer. "Whatever you want."

You beam. "I'd really like that."

"Good," he affirms with a nod of his head that's a touch too forward. He regrets it almost immediately. "If you like it, I might be able to get your own tutor to meet you at a library."

Part of the still uncertain victor program relies on setting up the victor and their family with a new life. Education plays a role in that. Placing any one of you in an actual Capitol run institution is far out of the question. For everyone's sake. Even if the thought of sharing a classroom with someone from 12 didn't horrify the Capitol parents, you and your siblings wouldn't be able to just jump in. It's not that he views you as unintelligent, but District 12's education system isn't exactly on par with the Capitol's.

"That sounds nice," you sit up a little straighter, excited by the prospect, "A part of me kind of misses school."

Another aspect of your personality that he had learned about after your Games. You like school for the sake of it. "I'll check on the arrangements tomorrow."

He clears his throat before you can do more than just nod, "It's getting late."

Coriolanus carefully sets your hand down on the comforter. You awkwardly shift, now more aware of what you agreed to than ever. "Right," you push yourself to stand, "You need your sleep."

He pulls back his sheets before you can think about it even further. You crawl into the provided space without looking at anything in particular. He's quick to join you beneath the safety of plush bedding before leaning over and turning off the bedside lamp.

Darkness floods the space. There's something about the absence of light that makes things feel heavier. The potential intimacy of the situation sneaks up on him with no warning.

This isn't a loss of control. It can't be. It was his idea, he had pushed and convinced you to stay here. He's aware of everything that's led up to this moment, but that's not enough to stop him from wondering if this is something than he should have known better than to embrace. He had accepted the familiar, fickle knotting of his stomach once before.

Steady warmth presses itself against his arm. He blinks, head turning a second too quickly. Your hand has found his. Coriolanus relaxes, allowing himself to fully relax against his pillow. You pick up on his shift, reflecting it by laying down as well.

For someone that had been so hesitant, you seem to know what to do better than he does. You pull his arm towards you, gently trailing your fingers against the exposed skin. Heat crawls up his neck.

"Goodnight," you mumble, voice already drowsy.

Coriolanus lets out a long breath. He grasps your hand, bringing it back to his lips before settling back into the position the two of you were in before. "Goodnight."

[les-gnossiennes-fantomatiques]

Getting more writing done these days. It feels nice.

A little bit more from my current WIP:

Lost in the lines of her body, it seemed that the evening had given way to twilight in little more than a blink of an eye.

“I don’t think I ever commented on just how lovely your piano playing is.” Augustine’s voice nearly shocked him out of his stupor. She cast him a kindly glance over her shoulder. “Is there an end to your talents, Erik, or are you this naturally astonishing?”

He was too floored to admonish her for moving out of position, let alone properly process her words.

“It’s muscle memory and craft that make a good artist.” So said Mama, almost every time she found him sitting at her precious piano. To this day, whenever he happened to feel a little more charitable about his existence, he could hear her voice scolding him across the decades, practically feel the metronome clicking away as she beat every hard lesson into him. “For as much as the world loves its Mozarts and Beethovens and whatever little novelties it calls genius, perfection does not just spring forth from the ground like Moses divining water from a rock. If you expect praise and adulation without practice and failure—” (and here, even after all these years, he would wonder how she thought he’d ever leave the house, let alone expect praise from other people) “—if you perform for compliments and applause and not for the purpose of making music, you have already proven yourself a mediocrity.”

Erik would never admit it—not to his dear Daroga, not to the Shah, not to Charles, not to long dead Nelus, nor poor Mama. And certainly not to any woman off the street, hungry for his money or otherwise; the unfortunate truth, however, was that in spite of everything, there still lay some part of him which longed for a sincere and kind word.

“It’s for the best, mademoiselle. I did not ask you here to flatter me. I asked you here to sit still, if that’s even possible—”

“I don’t flatter people I dislike.” She turned sharply to face him, her gaze locked on his for the briefest of moments before it dropped down to his hands. An involuntary gesture most people made in front of him when confronted with his face, to be sure, but now—why was he so charmed? “‘You play twice as well as most of the musicians I’ve ever met, and I’ve sat through enough concerts to last me three lifetimes.” Her words were slow and soft—less of an intrusion, more of an unraveling. “What else can you do, Erik? Sing? Write music? You might as well be a one-man show.”

“Hush.”

She was far too clever for her own good, and moreover, far too kind. And kindness was the sharpest blade a woman like her could possess. Yet when he looked at Augustine, he once again heard the opening chords of last Friday’s music ringing in his ears. The sound of something strange and wonderful and ruinous. To be a man who lives as he pleases, who loves as he might dare—

“If you must know, I am in the beginning stages of writing something.”

“Are you?” She smiled, cordially tossing her long hair over her shoulders.

“Yes—just the very beginning of a project, if you please. A song cycle. Perhaps an opera, if I end up feeling ambitious. Now, please—turn around and be quiet, won’t you?”

[thatstonedwriter]

Never Again – Part 2

─── ･ ���ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

A/N- I wasn't planning on writing for Crimson, but I'm willing to take a crack at his character. I hope I handle his character properly and sensitively. This is an exception and I will not write for Crimson again.

Contents; Crimson, violence, references to the mafia (as its presented in the show), mentions of severe injuries, blood, swearing, angst, fluff, polyam

Feat; Moxxie x Millie x Reader, Striker, Crimson

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Everything stops- there's no air. What did you do? Why aren't you moving? You're like this because you were making sure they didn't get hurt. Its their fault, they know they have to do.. Something, but..

Tears are welling up in Moxxie's eyes. Once again, he's been proven to not be strong enough. Millie is feral, chasing off whoever dared come near you. When she's finally calmed down enough, she rushes to your and Moxxie's side. Even when the emergency services arrive, Millie is so on edge that she barely lets them touch you. The ride to the hospital was tense, paramedics doing what they could to stop the bleeding, and even then, they were worried it wouldn't be enough. Over the course of your recovery, Moxxie and Millie never left your side. Some days, they would take turns staying with you, to ensure your safety, and to keep you company; which would include Moxxie playing music for you, and Millie laying next to you, holding your hand, and telling you about whatever shenanigans the I.M.P crew was up to. They just want to see you happy. It takes a while for them to process the guilt, however once you're back home, these two love birds shower you with more love than ever thought possible.

Striker has never felt so powerless before. And he never would've expected, in a million lifetimes, that someone would do what you've just done for him. It takes every ounce of self restraint for him not to run after the bastard who did this to you. You are his priority. As much as he wants to, he knows he can't treat your injuries- so he calls for help. At first, he doesn't visit you in the hospital. This has never happened before, he needs time to process what it all means. What you mean to him. When Striker finally musters the nerve to visit you (though he has to be sneaky), he makes sure to bring some foods he knows you like. He's never been good at affection or talking about his feelings, so for now, he hopes this can be enough. Once you're discharged, he offers for you to stay at his place. Should you accept, he'll be sure to do his best to show you how much this all meant to him. Striker never wants to risk you getting hurt again.

Crimson orders his goons to rush you to the nearest hospital. Once you're out of his sight, the shock wears off, and the severity of the situation hits him with full force. Because of his.. 'status,' he avoids following you, and instead sends various people to bring you food, and flowers. At first, he does it as a courtesy, but then he notices how empty everything feels without you around. He isn't used to this. Upon your discharge, you find several body guards and a car waiting for you. Lowkey sketch, but you know who gave the orders. Once you're back, Crimson keeps you by his side, threatening to kill anyone who dares to send a questioning glance at the two of you. He's not at all versed in caring for others, but he does his best to make sure every want and need is met. You'll never be hurt again. Not on his watch. And within the next couple weeks, there is a new mount on his wall..

[shadelorde]

Waava and Yangvik: an Analysis

So! I have reread the Yangchen novels (and understood far better what was happening the second time) so here is a brief analysis on the parallels between Yangvik (Yangchen and Kavik) and Waava (Raava and Wan).

Right away, I noticed several similarities between Yangchen and Raava in particular. One could even argue that Yangchen is the avatar, apart from Wan, that is closest to Raava spiritually, with the boundary between herself and her past lives shown to be far more blurred than in other avatars. Their struggles I find to be similar too - both Yangchen and Raava struggle between two aspects of their identity, the part that is meant to be peaceful and spiritual, and the part that must make sacrifices in order to maintain balance. I would argue that both of them have the capacity for manipulation and less savory tactics to get what they need, and both have caused great amounts of harm in order to achieve a greater goal.

But their most recurring struggle that they have in common is their attitude towards humanity. Both Raava and Yangchen carry a certain level of disdain towards humans, and a level of anger that they are expected to compensate for the incompetence and irresponsibility of other people.

"I'm so tired of fighting on their behalf. Human beings choose their own misery, over and over again. Tell me why humanity deserves an Avatar, Mesose. I could handle the blame, the finger-pointing, if I just knew why." Yangchen says this to Kavik while experiencing the life of Avatar Gun, and this is a theme that occurs repeatedly throughout her novels. (While this is Avatar Gun's words, it's triggered by Yangchen's experiences.)

Raava says similarly. "Ancient one, why would I do that for a human? Especially one who's caused so much trouble?" and "Most humans think only of themselves, no matter how many others are around."

This parallel between the two becomes almost explicit when Yangchen enters the Avatar State, drawing upon the power of her past lives and Raava herself.

From inside the whirling sphere of air, the elements obeyed her; everything obeyed her. Only the humans remained stubbornly wayward. Why were they so special? She examined the villagers scurrying below her feet, and yes, the Airbenders as well. Look what I can do without them. Look at how weak they are without me.

And both of them, at the end, make the decision to go back, to start or continue the cycle of helping humanity, either hopelessly or in reassurance. Raava said "We will be together for all your lifetimes, and we will never give up." And Yangchen decided, at the end of her first novel, to continue that cycle.

Yangchen could pretend all she wanted but it was no use. She would remain the instrument of her own suffering. She'd keep fighting, keep struggling, just like she'd commanded the unconscious woman to do in the hospital. It was her fate to make the same choice over and over again, as generations of Avatars had done before her. To know the past was to know the future.

Even F.C. Yee comments on how each avatar has proven to love humanity, even if they struggled through it initially, and how it connects to Raava's initial choice. "Avatars have proven throughout the franchise that they possess an unshakeable love for humanity. They might express it in different ways, but once they gather their inner strength and come to understand who they are, they'll do what it takes to help the rest of us recover from our stumbles and find the right path. If you subscribe to the theory that Raava chooses, then I like to believe that she chooses well." (found in the interview in the back of The Legacy of Yangchen). While all avatars, by nature, parallel Raava and deal with struggles that repeat throughout the cycle, Yangchen's own struggle and conclusion with her feelings towards the rest of humanity mimic Raava the most closely out of any avatar we've seen.

And then there's Kavik and Wan. Both of them are essential to their partners' character developments, and they spend a good part of their time being distrusted by their partner. Even though they regret their actions (Wan more openly than Kavik, I would argue), they spend most of their stories having to work to build or regain that bond of trust. And yet, in the end, Raava and Yangchen choose to stay.

"We will be together for all your lifetimes, and we will never give up."

"Stay with me. I need you by my side. There's so much work to do, and I want you with me until it's finished."

Initially, Kavik is far more reluctant to help Yangchen than Wan is to help Raava. Kavik is much more driven, initially, by his family and getting them out of Bin-Er and reuniting with Kalyaan, while Wan has no human family to speak of and was actually orphaned (ironically compared to Kavik, who lied about being orphaned.) However, at the end, both of them are driven by their care towards Yangchen and Raava.

"No," She said, shaking her head. "You still feel indebted, I'm calling it off-"

"Spitting spirits, you are so annoying! I want to help you because you deserve it! Do I have to tattoo the message across your skull?"

The ending to both of their partnerships are generally seem as ambiguous - although romantic interpretations can easily be prescribed to the pairings, the most important parts that we see are their devotion to one another and the obstacles they overcame to become close, regardless of the label you might choose to put on the relationship itself.

Overall, I think it would have been very cool to see Raava and Wan's relationship develop over the course of longer than a single episode (because really, we hardly see Raava in Beginnings: Part 1) and I think that their relationship has very similar roots to Yangvik.

[white-cat-of-doom]

One Idea Is To Be Useful

A lifetime of decisions made for survival, but living is not always impactful if you have nothing to show for it in the end and no one to remember you. Thus, an idea.

My piece for the @namingofcatszine, here formatted to have the italics (to primarily represent an internal thought process) that unfortunately never made it into the printed copy restored, as well as some more breathing room between paragraphs that was not an option with the page limit restrictions.

Thank you to everyone who contributed, to the fellow Moderator team, and to Peach for organizing this and being the lead Moderator, but especially to the six other writers that I had the honour of overseeing as the Writing Moderator for the project. We took up more pages individually than anyone else! ;)

Bravado was a funny thing in hindsight. Everyone wants to be the hero in the end after all, do they not? Jumping in to save the day, perhaps even to rescue someone, with no thought of self-preservation or consequence. Once you had everything under control, the shower of praise and glory cascading down on you in celebration of your achievement would seem like a welcome reward.

All that sounded great in his head at that pivotal moment for Alonzo. It was his chance to prove himself as a valuable protector instead of one of the many henchcats of the Mouser’s Palace he was once a part of. An opportunity to cut himself further free of the threads of the past and to push back against the oppressor that so many had been crushed under, some of which never made it out alive.

How many Cats indeed had he seen erased from this world at the cruel hands of Macavity, or one of the ruthless minions of the Mystery Cat? A good majority of those Cats were subjected to the lottery of suffering, strictly because that they had nowhere else to turn. Life on the streets meant that the fear of being attacked was a real possibility if you stepped foot in certain parts of the city, with the twisted stories of the Mystery Cat permeating throughout the underground circles of the disenfranchised. Macavity’s name carried with it such a weight that you were almost afraid to speak it aloud lest someone be closely listening to what words followed. He had eyes and ears everywhere, if that were to be believed, and few wanted to find out how much truth was held in that understanding. With the rumours, The Mouser's Palace, in theory, brought supposed comradery with an avenue of protection over the uncertainty and anxiety of solitary survival. In reality, that was not quite the case. One not only had to fight to ensure that they were worthy in line with the other rogues employed, but also to keep daily business of the empire going.

A fight for life at all times in the end, as Alonzo would find out. He was a smart Cat, always one to calculate and consider his next move in the chess game he found himself, at first indirectly, involved in life. He had faced the scorn directed towards him for prolonged indecision time and time again, even after joining and working his way up through the ranks of henchcats. Thinking things through was not commonplace in those groups, with the majority taking a more hands-on approach to accomplishing their goals. It was an effective, time-proven method in some cases, after all.

He never felt that anyone trusted his judgement, and realistically why should they? He was no one and had always been. His choices used to only be a cog to turn the machine; one that was redundant and replaceable in the grand scheme of things.

Alonzo never thought that he, too, would have to take the same physical approach that henchcats resorted to at some point. This time, however, it was different. Perhaps that is why he jumped into the middle of that unknown so freely. He simultaneously had nothing and everything to lose, and - at the very least - he had done one thing right in his life if things did go wrong. All he knew was that she was in his grasp, and that Munkustrap could not hold Macavity completely back from accomplishing what he arrived to do. That was enough for him – maybe he did do a bit of thinking then.

The aftermath of his impromptu pas de deux was a fair amount of pain and a familiar red colour once more on his mainly golden fur – a mixture of his and that actual red bastard. Truly a pity; he had looked his best for The Jellicle Ball, trying to smooth down his rougher edges and appearance – almost a new Cat, Bombalurina had teased, with a level of sincerity that Alonzo had not yet determined – and it did not last that long.

Nothing in life is permanent in the end. Everything eventually fades away.

Another part of the aftermath was a trip to The Healer’s Den to get patched up and sent on his way – he might even get a nice treat if he was a good Tom.

And there he sat, staring at the walls lined with vials filled with aromatic plants and liquids that reeked in too many off-putting ways if not well acquainted with them. The pungent odour was all a bit much for Alonzo, and he purposely avoided this den for that reason, but he did not have much of a choice at the moment.

Or did he.

With all the commotion of both the uninvited guest during the Ball and the Jellicle Choice afterwards, he might be able to sneak off. He was not important enough anyway to worry about, he thought to himself. Other Cats needed medical attention as well, and there were plenty of past times he had been hurt; left to grin and bear it without someone to care and ensure he did not make an injury worse.

As quiet as he could muster in spite of the pain, he rose from the bundle of blankets he was told to wait on and made his way towards one of the exits of the den. Everyone else there seemed preoccupied; he could see Coricopat and Tantomile preparing medicines through a slit in one of the curtains, Jennyanydots was in another one of the rooms looking after Munkustrap – he had bore the brunt of the fight with the Mystery Cat and likely needed an overnight stay - and Alonzo could overhear the younger Toms trying to compare injuries while simultaneously also touting how it was lucky for Macavity that they were not the ones to spar with one another – despite Carbucketty being thrown around like he was no more than a mouse. Only a few more turns and he would be free in the early dawn to find another place to rest, away from everyone else.

The touch of a paw on his back stopped him, and he knew exactly who it was without needing to turn around. He was caught by the one Queen he knew that he could not say no to, and she would be all business tonight.

“If it were not for you being injured, I would have scooped you up here and carried you back like a fussy Kitten!” said the familiar voice of Jellylorum.

Was there a hint of nervous fun in that declaration?

“You should be so lucky to have someone to look after you, let alone the four of us, and this is your thank you? Sneaking off without a word?” A biting tone creeped up as she continued.

Ouch, definitely not her cheery self then.

Turning to face his fate, Alonzo could not help but feel guilty as he saw Jellylorum's eyes.

How did she know I would try to leave? Was I for once not quiet enough?

He received the answer soon enough, as if she was already probing his flawed thought process as it happened inside his head, all without his need to speak.

“You should know by now that no one gets past me, Alonzo. I deal with the young ones everyday, and they are very quiet on their feet. I can hear everything when I am the one in charge of looking after them. I cannot afford to lose anyone around here,” she quipped. “And lest you think I am joking about carrying you around, remember who lifted Admetus on their back just last week!”

That was no exaggeration either. Despite her relatively smaller outward appearance, Jellylorum was as strong as a pack of Pollicles. She was also a stubborn one who never danced around a subject too long, a no-nonsense approach that Alonzo appreciated and admired. He knew exactly who Jellylorum took after, after having met Gus for the first time. A couple of firebrands that family is. He also knew that he was not going to be able to charm his way out. Not tonight at least; Jellylorum was busy enough. He was best to return to the blanket pile and not cause any more undue fuss.

Without a word of argument, Alonzo marched back to where he started, feeling the eyes of Jellylorum burn through his body as she escorted him.

She must think that I am so ungrateful.

Having a seat once more on the soft bedding, he again met the eyes of the Queen that he secretly regarded as a mother figure; he was never sure if she had caught on to the affinity he held for her, but was too proud to admit to. Instead of the expected anger he anticipated, Jellylorum looked saddened – a rarity for the stoic Cat that dealt with issues in a practical manner – which only added to his guilt. Still, he had nothing to say that would make the situation better, instead waiting for the verbal scolding that he rightfully deserved for being selfish at an inopportune time.

“Life is hard enough, Alonzo. You understand that possibly better than anyone here in the Tribe, and yet you are always the first to forego anyone helping you,” she started softly. “I appreciate your point of view that you can fend for yourself, but eventually you will need to come to the realization that some of us care for you – I care about you! And I do not think that I need to inform you that Demeter especially cares about you, as I am sure you do her! The poor thing will not stop asking how everyone is doing because she feels that this is all her fault.”

I know, I just feel bad about being a liability. You either are someone who finishes the job or someone who is finished off. There was no room for weakness in any form, in the past.

“You will not be doing anyone a favour if those wounds get infected and you lose a limb! I do not think that you want to force me to be a Protector at my age!”.

With the slightest of grins, she stopped momentarily to show off her physique in dramatic fashion, her cheery disposition shining through to dispel the rare unease between them.

“Although it did feel good to get a few swipes in on Macavity. I bet he did not anticipate me and Jenny giving him that departing gift. I do not need to show you that same treatment to keep you here, do I?”

With that playful threat, Alonzo finally spoke.

“Just let me say thank you before you do, alright?” he sheepishly began, “It is only fair after everything you have done for me. It is hard to admit that I need help. Not exactly what I am used to, being the one that is vulnerable or the one that needs to rely on another. I am lucky to have you. You should know that it truly means the world, even if I never say it."

"I will stay, if only for you.”

[ochrearia]

Biff and YS sillies.

Shakes these two violently. If anyone gets to be the big brother and little brother dynamic first it's these two and that's me being entirely biased towards my own BF but like IVE ALREADY BEEN WRITING THESE ASSHOLES INTERACTING FOR MONTHS IN POPR SO IT MAKES SENSE

I also almost gatekept this? But then I remember most of you guys here only found me off of Poly Propaganda so like. Why would I gatekeep a BF you guys are familiar with reading about

BFs in this drabble: PoPr!BF (Biff, mine) Yourself (YS)

Perhaps he was just losing his edge. Or maybe the world was starting to be kind enough to let him feel like a person again. Either way there was something so incredibly tempting about pushing buttons when Yourself knew he could get away with it. He was good at getting away with a lot of things. “The incentive is in your reactions, Biff. You want me to stop being obnoxious right back at you? Stop reacting then.” 

“See this is on you, really, because I may not be smart but I can recognize the potential to be the worst little shit imaginable with the information you just gave me.” Biff grinned, flopping over YS’s chest intentionally. “And since we’re the same person it’s very likely that any of the ways my buttons can be pushed are the same ways yours can. As you have already proved by pushing a bunch of mine with no prior knowledge.”

“Ooh, big words from the little man.” YS continued to tease instead. He didn’t want to admit at any point that Biff was possibly his favorite, because that wasn’t fair to the others. They’d just known each other the longest, and while they all had the same potential for it, Biff was really the definition his mind jumped to when he thought of the two words ‘little brother’. He wasn’t saying that out loud for shit.

“Patronizing me is going to be your worst mistake.” Biff threatened, grinning wildly. “I think you need to be knocked down a few pegs, you massive asshole. If my buttons are similar to yours then this isn’t going to keep going well for you. No one knows what pisses me off more than me! Meaning I know how to piss you off too.” The smaller fished his phone from his pocket, pushing his elbows against the silly counterpart’s chest to prop himself up. YS watched with a raised eyebrow as he typed something.

“Oh that better fucking not be the watermelon song.”

“What’s wrong with the watermelon song?” Biff asked innocently as the aforementioned song started blasting from his phone at full volume. “Gee, I don’t know about you, but you know what pisses me off? A strong earworm that I know won’t shut up for at least a few days.”

YS had half a mind to shove this dickhead off of him. That was, at first, something he’d thought was a difference between them- how affectionate Biff was, and how he was keen to show that affection by being touchy. Though in reality it hadn’t been a difference at all, something which having met all these other selves has proven. Apparently he gave really good hugs. Something less known was that he stole away just as much comfort from them as he was intending to give. Contact was nice when your body was always cold for as long as you could remember. Pushing him off would just mean more cold, again.

He settled for roughly ruffling his little brot- Biff’s- hair instead. “You’re- okay what’s a good word that would actually make you mad… I’ve exhausted the punch power of things like ‘dumbass’ and ‘shitter’ by using them too often. They’ve lost their meanings.”

“I have literally done nothing wrong and you’re mean to me for no reason.”

“I’m adding ‘a big fat liar’ to the list by the way.” YS snarked back immediately. “Turn this shit off, I’ve already heard this damn thing several times too many for my lifetime.”

“Mean to me.” Biff repeated, not turning it off and just lowering the volume instead. “Can’t believe you’re such a fucking Battleblock Theater hater.”

“I have literally never played that game and I never want to because of you and this song. Turn it off or I’m shoving you away and you will leave back through the mirror without a hug today.”

“Fuck!” Biff swore, mad that his attempt to push YS’s buttons was instead ending in more of his being pushed. “You’re such an asshole! Big, stupid, dumb fuckin’! Jerk!”

YS burst into laughter, rough with disuse. Low snickering that was prone to snorts as he tried to breathe between them. He wasn’t one to laugh very much, and even when he did it was only for a few seconds at a time. It was incredibly rare for him to go on an actual giggle fit, not even believing he still could after everything. Then again, he’d also believed he would never get to feel warm again either. Or that he’d never get to see the colors of life in anything other than sad, depressed, washed-out hues. Things change. There’d been so much bad change to face in his life. He’d forgotten what good change was like.

It was like the sun. Bright and warm. Life giving.

“I don’t think I’ve gotten to hear you laugh for that long before.” Biff said, turning the playful atmosphere in a more serious direction. “That’s not to make you self-conscious by the way, don’t you dare start thinking that shit. Sorry, I tend to blurt things out before thinking, but like, honestly. The others aren’t fully sure how to be affectionate with you on the same level I do, because it’s kind of weird in a way, acting brotherly when that’s literally just yourself, but I know they think the same thing. It’s kind of… I don’t know, crisis inducing? To look at another version of you and know you’re so… sad. Eh, maybe not crisis inducing. Fuck I don’t know words. It makes us sad. That’s probably the most straight-forward way I can say it.”

YS’s laughs faded, shadowed eyes watching the other carefully. There was a very easy and negative takeaway he could get out of those words alone but he knew that wasn’t what Biff was trying to get at. Making assumptions before having the whole picture only led to more problems. 

“You’re smart. Surely you caught on to that by now. You’re seeking us out with the intent to help because it’s the next best thing when you’re so clammed up on your own self that you can’t give everything you give to us, to yourself instead. You’re not going to get away with that without us giving back. So of course seeing you so sad makes us sad. But it’s okay! We’re going to help fix that.” He said matter-of-factly. How confident.

YS huffed out one last chuckle. “All of you are so confident about solving problems you’ve never actually faced. Somewhere along the line I suppose it’s endearing but you’re all incredibly dumb and misguided.”

“I’ve faced them.” Biff reminded. “Not physically. But I have… faced them. Seen everything you lock in your head because you think you have to contain it alone. And I know you’re still mad at me for doing that. You just never fucking talk, man. All of us dumbasses come to you all vulnerable and you fix that but you don’t let yourself get vulnerable. What are you afraid of?”

Don’t you know? Though he never really did say it out loud. There were a lot of things he didn’t say out loud. He was scared of hurting them. They knew that. He was scared to lose them too. Something about the double meaning of losing himself made him uncomfortable.

“...Are we okay?” Biff continued suddenly, voice softer and more nervous. “It’s been weeks since I, I guess, betrayed you in a way. Took your magic and used it against you. I knew it wasn’t what you wanted and did it anyway.”

A flash of him, pounding against the glass of a mirror he couldn’t walk in, because Biff had purposefully avoided anything reflective. His face, always so pale and sad, shadowed out and hung low, but rolling tears still visible, kept company by a panicked and upset grimace, teeth clenched so tight they could shatter.

Had it all been a mistake?

“You disappeared on me for a while after. Scared me. I knew I deserved it, you were so angry when you came to take your baggage back. You stopped showing up in my dreams even. I deserved it but it still scared me. I wondered if we’d ever talk again after a few days.”

Biff was right about one thing. He had been angry. Furious, really, though it wasn’t all directed at him. They hadn’t really talked about it either. The days he had been avoiding Biff were the days he decided to reach out to even more selves- he didn’t need to know that though. That would probably just make him feel some sort of venom towards the others. YS didn’t want that. All of them getting along was important too.

“But… are we okay?” Biff repeated, lips stuck in a frown. “I guess I can’t really ask for forgiveness if you really don’t want to do that. But I need to… know where we stand so I don’t overstep. Hell, I’ve probably been overstepping this whole time…”

This dude worried too much.

“You are annoying.” YS started, almost laughing at the look of shock that caused. “You are. But I’m not saying that as a bad thing. You’re annoying that you care so damn much about my opinion of you. We’ve had this conversation before about your GF and Pico. You lost all your confidence in the face of them not thinking highly of you, in a dream. You know what that’s telling me? That you somehow care about my opinion as much as theirs. Don’t you think that’s a bit overdramatic?”

“Not if it’s the opinion of my big brother…” Biff mumbled. He hadn’t meant it to be loud enough for the other to hear, a reply to himself born from a need to say something in rebuttal. The other had definitely heard though.

YS didn’t think the grin on his face could get any wider without his head splitting. “We’re okay, you fucking idiot.” Big brother huh? Guess that whole changing my nickname in the groupchat thing wasn’t just a joke. I’m not entirely sure if that should make me this damn happy. I think I’d be even happier if the rest started calling me that too… “If everything ended after one shit choice then none of us would be here. None of us, because all of us are prone to shit choices with the small amount of brain cells we have collectively. So yes, we're okay. Just don’t fucking do that again.”

“You got it, bossman.” Biff teased, steering the atmosphere back to silly. “Good to know I’ll still be getting my hug before I leave.”

“So long as you don’t push any more of my buttons before then.”

“No promises!”

[whataboutthefish]

Hi hi! I hope you’re well. I am craving to read omega Steve whose parents don’t allow him to nest. Or Steve’ parents flipping out when they come home unannounced and find his nest. I know you have written a couple of drabbles about nesting, which were all fantastic 😍 but I was wondering if you had any other thoughts or knew of any fics like this? Either way, I hope you have a great day!

Hi nonny!

Thank you for the prompt, I've had a great time whumping the heck out of omega Steve. I hope you enjoy!!

As for other fics, I have to admit I'm a terrible fan and I don't really read a lot of fics at all. I'm stuck in writing mode. But if anyone reading this has recs for Stranger Things nesting fics please comment below!

Now onto the angst

Omega Steve, pre-steddie, alpha Eddie, religious trauma, abuse, neglect, Steve's terrible parents

Words - 2k

Steve knew two things to be true, one- that he was a shame upon his family and two - being a male omega was the mark of the devil. 

He’d been told this since birth, every memory laced with these facts and Steve had watched it proven to be true time and again. Steve was a great shame upon his family and his mother, to have birthed him, there was no sin greater. Steve was taught to atone before he even knew how to tie his shoes. Steve spent a lifetime on his knees praying to a god who saw only evil when he looked upon him. 

He was given no comforts in life, he believed if he gave way to sin then he could bring about the end of times. Steve wanted to try chocolate but he wasn’t evil, he couldn’t do that to the world. 

When Steve’s first heat hit he was so scared, he was home schooled and knew nothing of an omega’s cycle. He ran straight to his mother begging for help as slick ran down his legs and he craved something he couldn’t name. It hurt so bad, and he didn’t understand. His mother tied him to his bed, grasped the family bible to her chest and prayed by his side for two days. 

Steve wasn't allowed a nest, that was a comfort afforded to clean omegas. His mother had been a clean omega- chosen by god- before Steve came and soiled her. Steve was just a stain upon his family. 

His mother still had a nest, it was only right and fitting since Steve’s father as head of the home, deserved the comfort. He would look in at his mothers nest when he could, stolen glances, wishing to reach out to take a piece and take comfort in the scent of family. 

Steve never got to touch though, the door was locked when his parents were not home, and he was alone a lot in that large empty house. The older he got the more he had to repent, the more his body changed, softening and blooming, it was only more proof he hadn’t prayed hard enough, that he was breaking rules. 

Steve thought he knew all the rules, was good at following them to the letter but he must not know them all, it didn’t matter how hard he tried he kept losing. 

His parents started leaving him alone for longer periods, Steve’s father always working and his mother, done with her dirty secret at home went to live a life not weighted down by the blight that was her son. He was sent him to public school then.

High school was so much more than he could have imagined, he was shy at first everything so new and strange, people acting like this was real life, like they didn’t have a the weight of sin laying on their shoulders. 

Then Steve actually started to make friends, first was Robin, a sweet beta that had a sharp whit and even sharper tongue. Then there was Tommy and his girlfriend an alpha pair that Steve couldn’t even begin to understand, who were both a bit brash but Steve loved how easily they swore, it made him blush bright every single time. Nancy was Steve’s first omega friend, he had his first sleep over at her house, his heart hammering in his chest when her beta boyfriend Jonathan climbed through the window with a movie and snacks.

And then there was Eddie, an alpha who somehow subverted every societal norm and still command the room. Steve blushed bright red every time the alpha looked his way, Robin swore Steve had a crush, but Steve wasn’t sure. There was no way an alpha would want someone like him, no matter how often Eddie seemed to hang around when Steve was there. Even as he made friends and learned more about the world, he was still the stain upon his family. 

Steve learned to forge his mothers signature to join sports teams, he knew it was wrong but he wasn’t hurting anyone, surely it wasn’t the worst sin. Steve felt out of his depth for every minute of it, continually waiting for the other shoe to drop and yet it didn’t. He found he was good at sports, his friends were so encouraging, his couch put him in the game early and the fact he was an omega never seemed to work against him. 

Of course when his heat his mother returned, calling in to school for him then strapping him down to his bed and leaving him to ride out the pain alone. Steve was always so aware of her presence so close but nowhere in reach. When his heat was over his mother left, barely a word spoken, no indication of when she’d be back. 

Somehow this time it hurt so much more, now Steve knew what connection felt like, he’d seen his friends with their families, saw the touches and the way they scented one another, he saw comfort asked for a given freely. The stark comparison to his own life hurt like a knife to the heart. 

As his friendships bloomed it also came with gifted nest items. A common practice among friends was to share scented items for one anothers nests. Steve took these items, treasured them and began to slowly assemble a nest. Hidden in the base of his closet he surrounded himself in the scents of his friends. His most treasured item, a shirt from Eddie, his scent felt like coming home, if Steve was honest he was obsessed with Eddie’s scent.

He went to the mall and bought a couple of blankets and a body pillow that was so soft Steve never wanted to let go, letting himself give in to the need within him, a need he hadn’t realised he’d had. What he thought was just a constant state of unease from holding the sin of the devil turned out to be his inner omega in pain. He bought a bunch of cheap shirts that he pushed into his nest for a couple of weeks before he was able gift them to his friends. The joy he saw when they received the gifts made Steve question everything his mother had ever said. 

And the way Eddie’s nostrils flared and eyes darkened did things to Steve and had him running to the bathroom when he felt wetness pool between his legs. Robin had followed him, talked him down from a panic attack as he curled into a ball on the filthy floor in a bathroom stall

Steve started to question everything his mother had claimed, because surely people wouldn’t want the scent of evil in their nests, and yet they eagerly took his offered items. 

Questioning his mother’s words like this was ultimately a mistake because Steve started to relax, he became careless at home. Leaving the door to his nest open, letting items spill out as he stretched out in his nest. He started to scent mark the house, it was all unconscious actions but finally his omega was allowed some comfort and naturally that comfort spilled into every aspect of his life. 

The day Steve had finally let Robin scent him, he’d melted into the touch as the beta rubbed her cheek against Steve’s, it was nothing more than a comfort and friendship, nothing sexual about it. Steve felt bouant as he drove home, he’d never imagined how amazing holding someone elses scent on his skin could feel and he couldn’t wait to get home and roll around in his nest, sharing that scent so it would last longer. 

The way his whole world came crashing to a halt when he drove up to his house. His father’s car sat in the driveway, the lights in the house shining through the windows and when he glanced to his bedroom window his stomach dropped. The light was on, and he could see the silhouette of a person standing in the room. 

Steve opened the door, shrinking in on himself when he heard the lines of scripture falling angrily from his mothers mouth. He thought he might be sick when he heard the sound of shredding fabric, blindly running up to his room, falling to his knees when he saw what was happening inside. 

His mother was destroying his nest, her sewing shears rending it to shreads as she tore into the fabric. Her words tumbled into tongues compelled by the spirit spitting and baring her teeth as Steve shook and cried bent over in supplication, neck bared and utterly helpless. 

That night his mother spilled rice across the hardwood floor in the cold kitchen, pushed Steve to his knees and watched while he prayed the entire night. His legs had gone to sleep hours ago, the pain that struck like needles into his knees and shins by the end the pain came in waves as he swayed on his knees fighting sleep, repeating the prayers until the sun came up. 

Steve was sent to school with no sleep, it was Eddie that saw him attempt to hobble his way into the school, it was Eddie that ushered him into the back of his van with little effort. Steve was barely a shell of himself, his scent dulled and mind clouded in a fog of fatigue and pain. Steve didn’t speak, only pulled the leg of his pants up and allowed Eddie to help pick the rice from his skin. They didn’t go to school that day, instead Eddie drove out to lovers lake and let Steve curl up into his side and sleep. 

Steve wakes with a fright shooting upright and unsure where he is until Eddie’s deep purr comes from behind him and Steve turns to see Eddie relaxed back against a pile of blankets in the back of his van. He knows he has to go home, his thoughts are still sluggish his head still full of fog but his body has stopped aching and some part inside of him feels so much more at ease than ever before. He’s never slept so easily, even if he was sleep deprived the level of comfort he feels right now is so overwhelming he doesn’t really know how to process it. 

Eddie drives him back to school and Steve’s car, Steve doesn’t think twice when Eddie leans in to scent him, Steve melts into the touch and whines when Eddie pulls away. Eddie promises to be here tomorrow, that Steve can get through this. Steve doesn’t let himself linger on the reality, that Eddie is in no position to promise those things, instead he holds the promises against his heart and dares to hope. 

When he gets home though all of that disappears. His mother and father were sat at the dinning table with a priest. The shreds of Steve’s nest lay on the table along with forged notes and what looks like the contents of his gym bag. When he gets close enough he see’s the three of them scent the air. 

Steve arrives scenting so thoroughly of an alpha that even his father begins to shout, his mother prays rocking back and forth and the priest, he has a look of danger in his eyes, a look that has Steve’s hindbrain in a panic, a look that promises pain. 

Eddie waits for Steve the next day and next and the day after that, he waits every day for a week, before he dares to drive past Steve’s house. A for sale sign hangs in the yard and the place is dark. Steve’s friends do their best to search for him, but they are young and their resources are limited. It doesn’t stop Eddie from waiting just an extra few minutes every morning, search the car park for any sign of Steve. 

It doesn’t stop Eddie from travelling the country, moving from job to job searching, always searching for the chance that he might see that brown haired omega that could have been his.

[sailorshadzter]

im late to the party & didnt get to do all the prompts

but i had to do this one. any excuse for me to rewrite this scene ill take lol

@zutaraweek / day7: forge

She isn’t certain how many times throughout the night she thinks this is madness.

But then his eyes meet hers and she’s set ablaze once more, burning passion that surges her forward, that keeps her pressing on. Through every encounter, through every moment, each one worse than the last. Until finally, after hours of travel, after a lifetime of waiting, she’s brought face-to-face with the man who killed her mother.

And even still, in the very end, she’s left unable to do anything at all. She wonders if that’s proof of her strength, or even her weakness. She knows Aang will be happy, perhaps even proud of her, and she can picture his gray eyes full of relief when he learns she did not take her revenge as she so desperately wanted. And truthfully, deep down beneath the surface of it all, she knows that would have been what her mother wanted as well. The last thing she’d have wanted was for her daughter to become a murderer just because of her. 

So, she’s done the right thing, yet she’s feeling strangely empty as they return to the place where they’d left their friends behind. 

Dawn is just barely breaking above the horizon when she slides down from Appa, who sinks into place on the shore for a well deserved rest. Katara makes a mental note to find him some apples to feed as her thanks for what he’s done for her over these last few days. Zuko turns her way when she pauses on the dock, but she waves him on, because she just needs some time to herself. And Zuko, somehow understanding her, nods, moving on towards the campsite, perhaps to carefully slip into his usual spot to sleep a few hours before their friends woke and found them returned. 

Behind her, she’s unaware that Aang of course wakes at once, and she’s also unaware that Zuko keeps him from coming her way- again, somehow his understanding of her needs is far greater than Aang’s or perhaps even Sokka or Toph. For that, she would someday be thankful. 

There on the dock, she sinks onto the edge, kicking her feet into the still blue water, unable to stare into her own reflection. She forces herself to think back through the memories of it all; her mother’s death, the pain of moving on… The anger, no, the hate she had felt for the man and the nation that had taken her from her. For her, the Fire Nation was nothing but evil, corrupt people with no regard for peace nor feeling. But then… Golden eyes appear in her mind and she looks up, surprised, her heart skipping a beat at the thought of the wayward prince. Somehow, Zuko had proven himself to be nothing like who she thought he was. Beyond what he’d done for her (not to mention saving her life more than once) he’d been fighting alongside them this whole time. And she supposes, it is easy to lose your way, to lose your faith… Hadn’t she just done the very same thing?

And who brought her back… Him. 

The sound of approaching footsteps alerts her and she looks up and over her shoulder, unsurprised to see the very subject of her thoughts standing there. Almost as if her thoughts had summoned him, he stands there with a sheepish look on his face, cheeks tinted red as he runs a hand through his hair. “Katara… I…” He says quietly, watching as she rises up to her feet, closing the gap between them. 

“You know…” She begins, shifting from one foot to the other, blue eyes rising up to meet gold. “I’m not ready to forgive that man for what he did, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to,” she admits, thinking of the old man he’d become, unlike the man she recalled from her memories. “But I think I am ready to forgive you.” She reaches for him then, embracing him in a way she’s never embraced anyone in her entire life. Though he startles at first, she feels his arms wind around her waist a moment later, drawing her in just a tiny bit closer. He’s warm, she notes, warmer than she expects him to be.

A moment later when she’s drawing away, she can’t help but to keep a hand to his arm, giving it a tender squeeze. In this moment, they both know one thing and one thing alone: something new has been forged from this embrace, from this encounter together. Something stronger than steel, something neither of them has ever experienced before. 

It would be something everlasting. 

[marymary-diva17]

The dreamwalker and the warrior

Female Jake x male neytiro

When an offer a chance of lifetime had come up a person will be fool to turn it down. So what does a women do when she down on her luck and hasn't been having a good life, and watching the home she once love fall apart. Well she had taken the offer to go elsewhere and start brand new and finding new happiness in the world.

Jane " so tell me again why are you fine with me working with you, and no one else" Jane was looking at grace the head of the scientists department and avatar program.

grace " well your brother spoke highly of you and said you could be helpful, and looking your records and hearing of the good deeds you had done you will be good for the job"

Jane " ........"

grace " I'm sorry for your lost your brother was a good man, and I'm also sorry for how life had been treating you maybe you can start brand new here" Jane had faced many tragedies and hardships back on earth she lost her career after and incident, along with losing many people she loves on her.

Jane " thank you grace"

grace " now come on lets go see your avatar body norm are you coming"

norma " yes ma'am" grace and taken the new members of her team to go see their avatar bodies, Jane was so amazing to see her avatar body it was so perfect to her.

max " tomorrow you will get to experience what life inside your avatar body"

Jane " wow there has been so much I have missed doing, and now I can do them again"

norma " you will do great" Jane had smiled at norm day mark the new start for her, she was going to keep her promise to Tommy and everyone else she loves. To keep living her life and find some happiness and just keep seeing what the universe had to offer her.

grace " now come on lets show these jarheads what you can do" so grace smile at jane soon getting a smile back. When Jane had tested out her avatar body the next day she was so amazed, she loved her avatar body so much.

Days later

Jane " ........"

grace " are you going to spend the day checking yourself out in thr mirror"

Jane " oh no I'm just so amazed this had happened I thought it was impossible"

grace " well with the Technology we have we had made it happen, and your have to thank Tommy it was his idea and I obeyed his last wish"

Jane " thank you grace thank you so much"

grace " your welcome now come on we are going to be late for the mission"

Jane " yes ma'am" Jane had been tasked on keeping the scientists and avatar safe when they were outside from the base, she had good combat skills and seem to be less under the RDA control like all the others at the moment.

Jane " wow" Jane was looking at all the planets around her she was amazed by everything she was seeing. pandora was so wonderful Tommy was right after all. A smile had gown on Jane face as she was touch the flowers as they were popping away from her.

Jane " oh" Jane was having so much fun when she came face to face with some of the creatures of Pandora, it was looking at her.

grace " Jane"

Jane " yes"

grace " no movement they get scared easily" Jane had nodded her head listen to grace, as she wish not to make the beast mad at her. When Jane thought she was done with exterminate today, she will be proven wrong when a Thanator showed up.

Jane " grace I think we have a new friend here" the creature was looking at the three avatar, Jane was thinking of a plane to save grace and norm.

Jane " hey buddy pay attention to me not them"

grace " no Jane don't"

Jane " come at me not them"

norma " Jane run" soon Jane took off running as the beast was chasing after her, she was running as fast her leg could take her. She had dropped her weapon as she was fleeing some the beast, Jane was fighting for her life.

Jane " well it seems like my day got more adventurous" Jane soon took off running again after using some tree branch for a shield, she soon reach the waterfall. She had two chose become the meal ticket to this beats or jump and she jumped off the waterfall landing into the water.

Jane " wow that was something" Jane soon swam towards the shore and soon walked out of the water coughing her breath, and feeling some pain.

Jane " oww that hurt nice move Jane" Jane knew she had find some way home or back to the group, she knew this day was going to be very long. As she was walking in the forest she had failed to notice she was being watched by a male navi, who was about to kill her but spotted when wood spirts had gotten in his way.

later that night

Jane " umm maybe I should find shelter for the night it will be good" Jane had made herself a homemade spear but she also had her blade with her, so she had her guard up to her best ability. She knew starting a fire will be bad, but she need some warmth for the night knowing it will be bad. She had made a move hoping to find something to help her make it through the night.

Jane " what is that" soon Jane had been surround by viper wolves and they didn't seem very happy with her.

Jane " oh come on I don't have all night for this" the viper wolves soon started leaping towards her, as Jane was using the spear to fight back against them.

Jane " well I'm up for a fight" Jane getting overpowered by the viper wolves, as they were starting to out number her and attack her in numbers. She had fallen to the ground losing her weapons.

???? " ahhh" Jane had become shocked when a navi male had came out of nowhere and started fighting off the creatures soon sending them running off. As he had hit them with his arrow and firing a couple bows at them.

Jane " ........" The male soon looked at her and he was not happy with Jane. Jane soon got up from the ground and started dusting herself off, still looking that the man who saved her life.

Jane " thank you for helping me"

???? " you are a fool you walk here not knowing anything" that when Jane remember grace school and she helped the navi children learn English, this man might of been one of her students.

Jane " you most know grace Augustine right I'm a friend of her as well"

???? " leave this place" The man had tuned his back towards her but Jane was not giving up, she soon ran after him trying to speak with him.

Jane " wait please I and my friends came here in peace, I don't mean harm I wish thank you for saving me back there" The male soon turned around and hiss at her.

????? " all of this happened because of you acting like a child, and now knowing anything"

Jane " okay then why save me when you could of walked away"

???? " you have a pure heart that why I saved you now head back, and don't come back" Jane seem to not be giving up as she followed the strangers soon meeting more of his clan, and soon being dragged to home tree. It was so amazing a big tree that seem to so tall but it seem like her coming was not welcome, and Jane understood why she was not wanted.

mo'at " Jane sully will stay with us and learn our ways and maybe we cna learn from her"

Jane " ........"

mo'at " my son will help you learn the way"

????? " mother why me that no fair"

mo'at " it has been done my son now take her to get new clothes" the man had soon take Jane away to get new clothes, he and everyone were looking at her.

Jane " so what your name"

Neytiro " neytiro te eyuthan"

Jane " neytiro"

neytiro " neytiro"

Jane " neytiro well it nice to meet you neytiro" neytiro seem not to like Jane at all and hated the idea of teaching her the clan ways. he was wishing his mother had someone else teach her the ways, even tsu'tey and the other didnt like her and thought she was weak. Deep down Jane was taking this chance to start something and see what happens, grace and everyone else seem happy about her being with the clan. This might even be a sign that things are changing for Jane after all and things will become good for her.

Months later

Jane " ......" neytiro is a good mentor and jane was doing her best to learn the ways but she was still not that good in navi ways.

neytiro " so you are a warrior among your people"

Jane " yes that day we meet I was there to keep some of my people safe from harm"

neytiro " your injuries have proven you fought well and not that many survive and thantaor and viper wolves"

Jane " I call it luck"

neytiro " so show me your moves Jane sully so I and everyone can see what type of warrior you are"

Jane " I'm guessing some of you this don't believe I'm a warrior truly"

neytiro " it because you are unlikely the female warriors we know you are shorter them them and seem a bit weak, having fiver fingers and coming from the sky ... you also don't like our female and not like the sky people females" Jane didn't know if neytiro was insulting her or complimenting her at the moment. She was trying her best to be friends with neytiro but it seems like the warrior was giving her a hard time.

Jane " oh great now we have a crowd watching"

neytiro " they will like to see how you Jane a warrior from the skies fight" Jane just scoffed and shake her head soon enough that match between Jane and neytiro started.

neytiro " you are good fighter but still need some work"

Jane " well it seems like I'm making an impression on you" neytiro laugh at Jane words and soon looked at her.

neytiro " there is nothing you can do that will impress me right now dream walker"

Jane " ......" Jane just smirked towards neytiro as the he ran towards her knocking her down, and when everything thought neytiro got the upper hand they were all proven wrong when Jane had side swip neytiro legs knocking him down.

neytiro " nice move" neytiro had gotten up and looked at Jane he seem amazed.

Jane " I have some other moves as well"

neytiro " ......." neytiro smirk towards Jane he was going to tackle her but was stopped when, she had out him to the punch soon tackling him and pinning him to the ground.

Jane " it look like the mighty warrior has been beaten by dreamwalker oh poor neytiro" Jane looked at him as they were so close and neytiro couldn't move at all. The pair had fallen in mud but neytiro was the one that was covered more in mud then her, Jane soon got up and was now looking the neytiro.

Jane " it seems like I'm a good warrior after all" neytiro was looking up at Jane, as she actually had beaten him in fight. She had never done that before until now. Jane had looked back to see more navi had come to watch and were shocked about what happened.

Jane " oh crap good move Jane good move" Jane didn't know what she did was either good or bad, as showing up the clan leader son and one their best hunter and warrior might good thing. Before anyone could say anything Jane decide to take her leave and head to the human camp.

Later that day

grace " you did what"

Jane " what he asked me to show him what I can do, they were questioning if I'm a true warrior and I showed him"

norma " I can't believe you beat the olo'eythan son ... that something I never thought will happen I know you are good fighter but you beat him"

Jane " I didnt mean to beat him or humiliate hime we were training, and I won the fight that all"

grace " what you might of done will be either good and bad"

Jane " I know but if you want to scold me why don't you scold one of your good student neytrio, he was asking me to show him what type of warrior I'm and I did I was not doing good at anything else yet but now I showed him what I can do"

grace " oh Jane"

Trudy " I don't see anything wrong with what happed warrior prince was asking for it and she gave it to him, I'm proud of you girl"

Jane " that your trudy" jane and trudy high five each other and smiled.

Jane " grace if it makes you feel better I will go apologize for my rude behavior towards him and the clan"

grace " well it was not the rude but eyuthan dosnet like us and this might make matters worst"

Jane " yes and I was starting to think that some human males and navi males were all the same"

Trudy " umm guys I think we have a guest" soon trudy showed everyone a screen and it seem like there was someone here.

Jane " I will get it"

grace " no I;m coming as well"

Jane " fine if you don't hear from in in ten minutes you can come after me with from and trudy deal" grace nodded her head and Jane went to transfer in her avatar body. She soon got up and walked around soon hearing someone out there.

Jane " ok whoever is out there come out now or else it been a long day, and I don't need any more trouble"

neytiro " jane sully"

Jane " neytiro what are you doing here out this late and so far from home"

neytiro " I have come here to give this back it fall off during our fight or I might ripped it off" Jane soon saw her necklace a gift that Tommy gave her but it seems to, have some navi details added to it.

Jane " my necklace"

neytiro " it saw it broken in the mud and knew it belong to you, as it the only human stuff you kept I fixed it for you"

Jane " thank you look I'm sorry for beating you and humiliating you" neytiro look at her with a confused expression on his face.

neytiro " you have nothing to be sorry about Jane sully you are mighty warrior your people most be proud of you, you have beaten me and well"

Jane " thank you" neytiro had helped Jane put back on the necklace, and for that mommy their eyes meet with each other and it felt like time stopped.

neytiro " just because you beat me this time doesn't mean our training over, we will start again tomorrow and see what else you are made of Jane sully"

Jane " okay see you tomorrow" neytiro didn't say anything else but nodded his head and soon walk away into the night, soon Jane meet with the others.

Trudy " he seems nice"

norma " yes and it not like there are many fine options back at base of the males ... there are some but not many"

grace " laides enough we are here to help and make peace, not find love of any kind with human and navi ... at the moment" Jane was laughing with her friends as grace, was starting to question if she picked the rights one to work with she knew she did. Over time Jane and neytiro did become closer and Jane become closer with the clan soon bring grace and norma with her.It soon become well know that Jane had gain the attention and affection of neytiro but she was not the only dream walker that gain the attention of navi since their time here. One night neytiro had taken Jane to the spirt trees and confess his love to her as she had confessed her love as well, soon become mates under the eyes of eywa. The dreamwalker and the warrior and soon become a perfect match that will last forever.

[dooberific]

kaveh x afab!reader

wc: ~1.3k

genre: fluff ofc

summary: how a completely domestic event ever snowballed into a running joke in your relationship Kaveh will never know, the mind of those former Haravatat students have proven to be rather elusive

OR

you are so enamored with how pretty he looks that you call him a name he is…less fond of

The early morning sun streamed through a crack in your already sheer curtains, a breeze carrying the pleasant smell of foliage through your open window. In the hours of the night it had been a good choice to open the windows to cool the house, but now the heat of the day was beginning to set in and it was becoming increasingly unpleasant….

Especially when you were half trapped under the weight of your boyfriend, who had plastered himself to your back sometime in the night.

As carefully as you could you freed yourself from Kaveh’s arms, propping yourself onto your elbows with a yawn. Despite the thin sheen of sweat forming on your skin from your cozy bedmate it was hard to stay mad when he still looked so peaceful. It was a little bit your fault that he ended up here, you offered to cook him dinner as a break and his will was too weak when it came to you to refuse when you asked him so sweetly. He would always wake up and apologize for falling asleep at your house, but you were never upset at him for finally resting nor for the pretty sight he made first thing in the morning.

Messy blond hair was scattered haphazardly on his pillow, thick lashes concealing the pretty rose eyes that rested beneath them still. In the yellow hued light of morning he looked like he was glowing, the brown highlights that tipped his hair and the smallest imperfections in his lovely complexion standing out in a way that made him all the more perfectly enchanting to your own eyes.

Any brighter and he may resemble a star or some other shining thing.

As if his unconscious mind had sensed your intense gaze, Kaveh stirred from his sleep with a long yawn and a stretch that reminded you of the cats that sunned on the flat stoop outside your front door. His eyes were still foggy and unfocused when he locked gazes with you, offering you a sleepy smile.

“G’morning, eshgham.” He drawled, his voice husky from sleep.

Your heart did a funny little flip in your chest. Even after being together for many months, hearing his nickname for you first thing in the morning made you feel like a schoolgirl experiencing her first crush all over again.

“Good morning to you too, my little Light of Khashahrewar.” You said, leaning in to plant a fleeting kiss on the lips of your radiant beloved.

Well, you would have had he not immediately perked up and withdrew, staring at you incredulously. All semblance of sleep had rocketed out of his body in favor of a mild panic.

“Are you upset with me?” Confusion and a hint of worry was evident in the architect’s voice as he tried to think of what he could have possibly done to make you call him that instead of the pet name he had become so accustomed to.

“No? Why would you think that?” You countered, your own confusion beginning to brew.

“Oh,” You could hear the panic subside from his voice as he relaxed once more. “I thought I had done something wrong and you were teasing me with that stupid title.” He said with a sigh, planting his face back into his pillow.

Then it dawned on you, a conversation from weeks past in which he confessed that he disliked being called the ‘Light’ of his Darshan largely due to his distaste for lofty titles that did too much to categorize people for a lifetime. Lost in your thoughts, you gained an unnerving look on your face that was enough to stir him once more.

He waved a hand in front of your face. “Teyvat to (y/n), are you in there?”

You blinked, a shit eating grin forming on your face as you caught his hand and pressed a kiss to his fingertips before reeling back dramatically, your hand coming to cover your eyes as an exaggerated gasp left your lips. “Ah! My eyes! I’ve been blinded by the radiance of the light!”

How badly you wished you had a kamera ready to catch his expression as you peeked at him through your fingers, the near deadpan expression looking completely out of place on the face of such an expressive person as he was. Alas, despite your efforts he drew the first blood with a firm wallop of one of your bed pillows into your head as he rolled his eyes.

It had been war ever since that fateful encounter two week past, a battle that raged even outside the comfort of your home where you would greet him as if he was blinding you like a miniature sun. At the market, the tavern, in the sanctuary of his own office, you didn’t care in the slightest if you drew attention because you were thriving on the way his cheeks pinkend with an embarrassed flush.

Maybe he should have expected your creativity to get the better of you, that was one of his favorite aspects of your personality when it wasn’t being weaponized against him. What he was not anticipating was the reaction you had managed to stir out of Alhaitham when you hit one knee in the middle of their kitchen, one hand pressed over your heart as you proclaimed loudly:

“But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Kaveh is the sun.”

Your fellow Haravatat had inhaled so violently he choked on the coffee he had been in the process of sipping, quickly excusing himself with an ill suppressed smile on his face while Kaveh simply stood locked in his place feeling as if he were on literal fire from the embarrassment that crept up his neck.

A truly bemoaned sound left his throat, the blond quickly reaching to help you to your feet, his hands holding fast to your arms.

“(y/n),” he began, his hands coming to cup both sides of your face. “My love, my darling, my muse,” He rattled off each endearing name quickly chased by a kiss to your cheek, your brow, the tip of your nose. “I am not a man to beg, but please—please—can we not play this game anymore?”

Ah, you supposed your fun could end for the sake of his sanity. Though you had to admit you loved how easily you were able to get a rise out of him, he made it much too fun to continue the little tease.

Lazily you draped your arms around his neck, nuzzling into his cheek before peppering his face with kisses. “Kaveh, meine süßen, my tiánxīn, мое солнышко.” You pressed your forehead flush to his own, staring deeply into his rosy eyes. “You have swayed me, azizam. No more, I promise.”

You leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his lips, grinning at the impatient hum emanating from your lover before placing a chaste kiss on his lips. You swore you could still taste his many sweet names for you mingled in with the lingering taste of his coffee.

You broke away, Kaveh draping his arms around your shoulders as he leaned his weight on you in a smothering, loose hug. Your arms snaked around his waist, snuggling in a bit closer to hear the steady rhythm of his heart.

“None of those things you called me had anything to do with me being a ‘light’ did they?”. He finally asked, breaking the silence between you.

You snorted, happy to be hiding the naughty, knowing grin on your face lest your final sin be found out.

Notes (these are definitely some google magic 🫡)

eshgham: “my love”

meine süßen: “my sweet”

tiánxīn: “honey”

мое солнышко: “my sunshine”

azizam: “my dear”

[mariacallous]

As the Senate considered approving $61 billion to Ukraine this weekend, Donald Trump published an all-caps rant making his opposition clear.

“FROM THIS POINT FORWARD, ARE YOU LISTENING U.S. SENATE(?), NO MONEY IN THE FORM OF FOREIGN AID SHOULD BE GIVEN TO ANY COUNTRY UNLESS IT IS DONE AS A LOAN,” he wrote on his Truth Social platform on Friday.

The Senate rejected Trump’s order, passing the bill Tuesday morning 70-29. But the bill still needs to clear the Republican-controlled House, where the former president’s influence has proven powerful in the past. Indeed, House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) has already stated opposition to the Senate aid bill.

Which makes now a good time to remind ourselves that the objections to Ukraine aid are absurd.

Supporting Ukraine’s defense is one of the single easiest foreign policy calls of my lifetime, a policy that has both protected Ukrainians from Russian slaughter and advanced America’s geopolitical interests in Europe. It has done so at a relatively low cost in dollars and zero cost in American lives. There is nothing to gain by abandoning it, and everything to lose.

Let’s start with the most basic point: Russia’s invasion of Ukraine was an act of evil. Since the war’s beginning, the Russian government and its propaganda outlets have openly announced that their war aim is to seize Ukrainian territory and subjugate its government to the Kremlin.

This was evident not just in words, like President Vladimir Putin’s recent interview with Tucker Carlson, but also in deeds. The war began with a failed lightning thrust targeting the Ukrainian capital in Kyiv, during which Russian forces engaged in horrific atrocities: executing entire families and indiscriminately bombing populated areas.

There are many problems with the Ukrainian government it is an imperfect democracy whose battlefield performance has worsened as the war degenerated into a kind of stalemate. Its maximalist stated objective of winning all its territory back through force may very well be impossible.

But the justice of its basic cause is unimpeachable. Ukraine is fighting a classic war of self-defense, a country protecting its people and its sovereignty from a large neighboring dictatorship that wishes to crush it.

And the success of Ukraine’s war hinges crucially on American support.

Why American aid is so important

The United States, labeled “the arsenal of democracy” during World War II, is playing that role again today. America is providing Ukraine with advanced weapons systems, like HIMARS mobile artillery, and ammunition that neither the Ukrainians nor European allies can get to the field on their own in sufficient numbers.

Currently, American funding has been effectively suspended due to the holdup in Congress. We can already see the consequences: Ukrainian fighters, working with a third of the ammunition they need to fight, being forced to retreat.

What happens if the aid dries up indefinitely? Vox’s Josh Keating reported on this extensively, and his sources painted a grim picture:

“A failure to supply military aid to Ukraine isn’t going to cause an immediate Russian victory, but it is going to change the character of the war,” said Franz-Stefan Gady, a defense analyst with the Center for a New American Security who has made multiple research trips to the front lines in Ukraine. Gady said that while Ukraine’s military has traditionally been an “artillery dominant military force,” without shells for those guns, “they would likely start pursuing more asymmetric strategies. That is, withdrawing from certain sectors of the front lines into urban settlements, trying to draw Russian forces into urban combat.” This scenario is … a grim prospect for Ukraine’s civilians. Urban combat always has an extremely high civilian death toll and given the heavy-handed tactics employed by the Russian military, the list of Ukrainian cities and towns entirely decimated by war — Mariupol, Bakhmut — would likely grow.

Even if you see the US government as human rights hypocrites or don’t believe protecting Ukrainian lives is America’s concern, the outcome of this war directly affects US interests.

Currently, the fighting is mostly in Ukraine’s more rural eastern half. If it moves west, into the heart of Ukraine’s largest cities, it moves closer to nearby NATO treaty allies. The odds of a scary spillover incident — of a miscalculation that could trigger a wider war between Russia and the American-led alliance — would rise accordingly.

At present, the best way to limit the risk of war between nuclear-armed powers is to help Ukraine keep Russia physically further away from NATO borders. Continuing aid, by contrast, is unlikely to trigger a direct escalation between Russia and the United States — as the past two years of fighting have shown.

Global security is worth a lot more than $61 billion

Again, it is unlikely that Ukraine will simply defeat Russia and win back all of its territories. The most likely scenario for the war’s end is — like most wars — negotiation.

But as in any negotiation, leverage matters. Political scientists often describe war as itself a process of bargaining, one in which it’s rational for states to continue fighting until the balance of power between the two sides is clear. To bring about a settlement in which Russia’s aggression is punished rather than rewarded, Ukraine needs to be strong on the battlefield.

And if Russia is rewarded, it has an incentive to engage in more provocations on NATO’s frontier. A world where Ukraine is forced to the table by American abandonment is a vastly more dangerous one.

Sixty-one billion dollars sure sounds like a lot of money. But the amount it purchases — sovereignty for an embattled democracy, civilian safety from Russian massacres, and decreasing the odds of a terrifying wider war — is easily worth the price. For Congress to do anything but rush it through would be an appalling betrayal not just of Ukraine, but of America.

[cuntela]

Hi here's my fav cherry picked lyrics from Conans Found Heaven album that are so Billford coded it's making me explode, and if I'm exploding, you're damn well exploding with me

"You walk alone into the darkest night, You'll never sleep until you're satisfied, You need love, you need one, You need him"

"Dark room, not a whisper or word, Guess you take all the pain that you think you deserve, Won't sleep 'cause it's easy to hurt tonight, tonight, 'Cause you said, "You got it? We're nothing", I'm the worst, if you want it"

"I didn't fight the feeling, Runnin' to my eyes, I wanted you to see it, I believed your lies, Tried to bite back, but I couldn't, I just stood and cried, For the lost time, for the hurtin', For the love that died ... And I came right back after growin', Yet you're still the same, Though it's me who may be broken, It was you to blame"

"While I am walking down these empty roads, I always feel like I am not alone, I hear a voice that tells me where to go, 'Cause you're here, you're watchin' me, I'm walkin' to your corner, I see you in the streets, You're here, you're haunting me, The eye of the night"

"You are the reason I learned to love, Also the reason that I cry, Still I think of all the bloodshed somehow bittersweet, I'm even smilin' now as I sing, Lonely nights, Anger does replace the pain, But who am I to blame?, I broke your heart the same, But I ain't sorry, I wouldn't change a thing, But it'll take a lifetime to get better, I ain't sorry, Though I should probably be, I think I'm gonna love you, You're forever with me"

"Don't leave me hangin' alone again, I thought that I was your only friend, Oh, where'd you go, go, Alley Rose? Oh, where'd you go, go, go?"

"It's 2 AM, hear the cellular ringin', Got the curious feelin' you're fiendin' for love, But the thing is, we haven't spoken for weeks, I love you bad, that's the problem occurrin', Better love I deserve, and I'm hurtin', But sadly, I worship every moment we meet, So you take and you take 'cause you know you can, And I chase as you're chasin' another man, Try to break, see your face and I know that I can't, Oh, You're killing me, You're not makin' it easy, Too busy deceivin' and cheatin' and lyin' and competin', To know how lucky you are, You're killing me, I just want you to free me, And though I am cryin' and bleedin' and barely breathin', I can't let go of your heart, I take your call, you say, "What's the matter?", Then you lie to me faster and faster, you're such a good actor ... Said, "I don't wanna talk, just go away", But you claw at the locks 'til I let you invade ... I wanna die, but you keep me alive, You're killing me, you're killing me"

"You don't really wanna hear the truth, do you?, It's obvious to anyone who ever knew you, That all you ever want is to be right, Even if that means you gotta lie to do it, The only thing you've proven, Is that there's no one, Who ever has done better, At makin' me feel worse, Now you really are the winner, Yeah, there's nothing, That ever did quite kill me, More than what you did, Now you really are the winner, Take a bow 'cause you're the winner, You're the winner, Bask inside your victory, My heart that once was beating, Bleeding in the palm of your hand, Yet you have the nerve to miss me, How do I somehow feel guilty, When you're the one who let it get this bad?"

"You and I, Sacrificed my adolescence, Just to waste my time, On the edges of your life, But we've grown too close, Now it can't amount to nothing, I can hear your voice, In the music on the radio, And it goes ... Can you make us stay forever?, Are we done?, Can you make it play, On and on and on, Like a never-ending song, On and on, Like a never-ending song"

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk I'm gonna go back to rewatching Inside Job now byeeeeee hope y'all see the vision

[grae-98]

Treatment

Chapter 7

Set between 1880-1890, You have been feeling and acting off. After visiting the doctor's he sends you off to stay in Pelican Town where you are set to receive treatment for your condition. Upon arrival you learn the doctor administering these treatments is better than you think.

Harvey/ unnamed afab!reader

2nd pov

about 3.5k

trigger warnings: reader is diagnosed with hysteria, mentions of depression, cheating/ adultery, doctor/ patient relationship, mentions of infertility

smut tags: Again no smut

notes: i do have this posted on ao3 if you'd prefer to read it there.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Hours after returning to your home you are left with your thoughts. Lying in the once truly comforting sheets your mind felt fridged. The evening felt as though it had lasted a lifetime, causing you to retire early to your bed. Haley gave you a look of knowing as if she felt your pain and sadness, but you would think that it may be concerning the variety of information presented before you just today. Before she had left for the night to return to her own home, she asked you once again if you would be truly okay once she had left.

 You look through the darkness to find the swirling grey fuzz filling your vision. You consider every option. There is to go home and act as though nothing has changed. Yes, you knew of the adultery of your husband; however, that was your husband, and you were obligated to do everything in your power to make things right with him. A second option is to stay here. Be here in Pelican Town. Be happy for a time. Feel completely happy for once since you were a child. Apologize to Harvey and admit that you were acting irrationally and beseech his forgiveness.

‘Why on this Earth would I beg him for forgiveness? He has done wrong to me, and I should feel no way indebted to him.’  

Raging thoughts attempting to be shifted to the sides you lift your hand from beneath your comforter. Tracing shapes within the muddled haze as though it might help you fill out an answer. Suddenly an idea comes upon you however you must rest now and dwell on it come tomorrow.

Forcing your thoughts to rest along with you proved to be more evil than anticipated. Crusted eyes pulled open suddenly as Haley pulled open your curtains. Groaning you motion to her to close them ever so slightly.

“What time is it?” You shift so you’re sitting up un the bed.

“8 o’clock ma’am. Usual time I wake you upon request.” Haley turns her body as to face you.

“Yes, Haley, good. I have not slept this poorly in many months.”

“Does it have anything to do with that has happened yesterday?”

“It has most everything to do with yesterday.”

“Yes, but I am to understand that you asked Robin to arrive early today to join you for a luncheon. Do you still want that?”

Groaning once more, “Yes, I suppose I did ask Robin for lunch, didn’t I?”

“No, actually you hadn’t. I just know you well enough that you would prefer Robin’s company for a lunch rather than dinner.”

“How could you have possibly guessed that?”

“I have been working for you for nearly a year now ma’am. I would like to believe that we know each other well by now.”

“Very good Haley, I am impressed. I like that you will think of me in such a sense as to know the best times to invite my guests. You have truly proven yourself as a lady’s maid. I thought I it was going to be a risk taking you on, but you have proved me very wrong and I am pleased to say that I am delighted for it.”

“Oh. Please do not believe that I have taken it upon myself to know when you should like to receive your visitors.” You laugh as she’s seemed to miss the compliment entirely.

“Haley it is not so deep as to be worried. I was making a point that sometimes you seem to know me better than I seem to know myself.” You stand from the bed and shiver from the coolness of your room. “Shall you get me dressed? I am in no mood for breakfast this morning.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

_

By 1 o’clock the day had pushed itself far enough to see a visit from Robin. She looks pleased to see you as she enters. Her red hair tied simply above her head shows that she had her daughter help her with her hair. The dress she wore looked as though she had only worn it to come here and impress you. As you scan the length of her dress, she seems anxious.

“Robin, how wonderful is it to finally see you and looking so wonderful at that!”

“Thank you, it has been too long since we have spent any time together. How have you been?” You smile as you walk her towards the drawing room with you. She leans in closer to speak in a hushed voice.

“How is your relationship with our fair doctor?” Robin asks as she removes her gloves to seat herself on the all too familiar couch.

You can hardly mask the look on your face as it twists with disgust before settling into a plain face. Taking the seat across from her, your mouth opens and closes twice before finally gritting the words through partially angered teeth.

“Robin, I do not wish to speak about him at this very moment. He and I are no longer.”

She looks at you tentatively before asking her question. “Do you mean to say that you are no longer receiving the treatments then?”

Giving a long sigh before looking down to your hands and then back to Robin. You look to her face and see that there is mild fascination twinged with worry. Her eyebrows partially pushed together while she waits for your response.

“That is correct. I am not and I will tell you about it soon. I need your advice on something else.” After you speak this one of the men you hear approach the room. Holding your hand up to Robin to signal a pause. You watch as the man comes and sets down the try before you thank him and resume the conversation.

“And what might that be?” She asks after settling back on the back rest.

Taking a longer pause you stare empty minded to the window. Eyes looking between the snow-covered pine to the colorless skies. “I am going to leave Pelican Town.”

“Ah…” She looks down to her cup sadly. “I see.”

“It is not a decision I have made lightly. After the knowledge that I have come to know I feel that it may be my only option. Part of the reason I have asked for you to see me today is that I seek your advice on bringing Haley along with me.”

“You wish to bring Haley?”

“Yes. I would like to think of us as nearly friends. She has more than proven herself quite the ladies’ maid.”

“Then I should congratulate you on finding such a person. What of her beau she had found herself?”

“I was hoping you could answer that for me. She had told me some time ago that she heard word that he was to propose to her ‘soon’, but that time has come and gone by weeks. You are far more in the know of what happens in the town itself.”

“Well…” She pauses and leans herself in to allow for a sense of secrecy, “I had heard that he might have thrown her over.”

“He hadn’t surely! When I went to town the day before yesterday she said that she was to visit him!”

“That is why I asked you. Thinking that she would have mentioned something to you, with you keeping her in your employ.”

“I should have like to think so but perhaps you and I have been deceived in her willingness to share her details, especially when it is in regard to this sort of matter.”

“I should say then for you to speak with her on this before you decide that you are to take her away to the city. Where are you set to go?”

“Another topic you have broached much too early into your visit. I was going to have us dine before getting to that.”

“Please, you must allow us to put this business first so we may dine in peace and minor contemplation.”

You laugh, “Yes, I suppose we must. I was to ask you to send a telegram to Mister Acunin for me. I do not wish to go into town, lest I run into Doctor Sullivan.”

“My, his title now. Things really must have taken a turn. I can make a trip out to town after I am completed with my duties tomorrow. What is it that you would like me to send?”

“I wish to ask for some sort of refuge. I must leave this town and I will not let myself go back to my husband.”

“Why? What has happened with your husband and the doctor that you must refuse the both of them?”

“I will make a terribly complicated matter as simple as I can.” Robin leans forward again as you speak much more hushed than previously.

“My husband has known that my treatment is completed and has found himself in business with a whorehouse. The doctor was complicit in my husbands’ doings and refused to me access to my medical information. To put it plainly.”

“I don’t even know what to say to that. Goodness, I couldn’t even imagine what you might be going through. Who else knows of this?”

“Aside from you?” You heave another sigh after taking a drink from your cup. “Doctor Sullivan, clearly, and Haley. Haley is the one who found the telegrams from the doctor to my husband that detailed my course of treatment. I would imagine that the Western Union operator knows just from the telegrams alone. Is that Pam who is employed there?”

“Yes, Pam is the one who works the telegraph in town. I will talk to her tomorrow to see what she may know if you would like for me to?”

“I would be grateful if you had. Robin, you are truly sent from the stars. I could never thank you enough for all that you have done for me since I’ve come to stay here. I should really ask for your servicing to this cottage for more additions. As a thank you I mean.”

Robin laughs. Reaching her arm across the table to settle her hand on yours. The warmth from her palm sinks into the top your hand. Looking to her face once more you look for any easily read emotion only to find she looks serious.

“You are my friend, and I am happy to help you in any way that you may need. No thanks nor are you at all inclined to feel indebted to me.”

“You are far too kind to me.”

“And at this very moment you are deserving of it.”

_

The lunch with Robin ends quicker than you would have liked. She links her now gloved hand in yours before she bids you farewell. Watching as she leaps onto her horse with such ease before setting off. You watch Robin through the window until you can no longer see her and all are left are fresh horse tracks in the snow. As you turn from the window you see the tea platter still set on the table. Letting out a defeated sigh you make your way to bring it to the kitchen yourself.

 The afternoon sets smoothly as usual. After the minor cleaning from the drawing room, you find yourself in your room to write in your diary. Usually, an evening activity but the thoughts racing through your mind warrant an entry. After speaking with Robin, you must find a way to get to Boston without your husband knowing you are back in the city. Scanning the script from last night’s entry and feeling the same fresh wound stab once more. The feeling of betrayal sits heavily on your stomach causing more bile to sit in your throat. Choking in a sharp breath you think of the possibilities.

Leaving the men here is optimally the best you can think of. They can’t go back to the big house because that will be a give-away that you are no longer in Pelican Town. Letting them leave could cause them trouble in one way or another and you don’t feel right to just fire them because you had decided to leave. Getting the train ticket will prove easy enough seeing as there is not really any reason for the purchase to get back to your husband. You worry the possibility of him keeping his eye on your from afar. That he has sent word for the ticket master to keep a watchful eye for you and send him word should you leave the town.

Being in Boston will be a whole separate issue once you arrive. Praying that the lawyer will aid you in your struggle is the main thing you are focused on. The voice in your mind speaks to itself as you worry.

But once arriving in the city what will I do? I have money, yes. I have forced this issue faster than Mr. Acunin or his associate might have planned for. I don’t even know how long divorce proceedings take! For god’s sake, get your act together before you give yourself an ulcer!

“Ma’am?” Haleys voice breaks you from your thoughts with a start. Gasping in shock and sitting straight against your writing desk, pen falling to the pages below.

“Yes? What is it? You frightened me terribly!”

“Apologies. I have no other way to say this but Doctor-“ You cut her off by standing suddenly. Chair scraping against the wooden floor.

“Send the doctor away I have no wish to speak to him.” Your tone turns from startled to irritated and angry in the fraction of a second. Haley wishing to be spared from your ire speaks with her hands in front of her.

“I tried that ma’am. He said that he knows that you are in and that he must speak with you.”

“Then tell him that I am sick or asleep or anything else that you can think of to keep him from my sight.”

“I said that you were asleep already.”

“And?”

“He said that he will wait and sat himself in the drawing room.”

“Surely he did.” Spitting your reply as you make haste towards the drawing room. Heavy footsteps clobber against the floorboards as you make your way down the stairs. Feet falling hard against the floor of the hall. As you approach the threshold your furious march ceases. You watch as the back of his head as he registers that it is you before making a sudden standing to whip in your direction.

You thought in this moment that you would be ferociously angry, bordering on violent. He pushed his way into your home after all that has happened. And yet when you look at him you see him. He is as miserable as you in this moment, his face shows it more than your own. His eyes were dark, and his hair messy as though he tried to piece himself together. Your anger melted into sadness upon seeing him. You felt as though the wooden floor you were standing upon was going to swallow you whole.

“Darling.” He speaks softly. Like his voice was trying to climb its way out of his throat but he forced it down.

You can hear Haley catch up behind you looking to her quickly as she gives you a tight-lipped smile. You willed your legs to move anywhere but where you were currently. The soles of your feet felt glued to the ground making you unable to move as you watch him take his first step towards you.

“Doctor Sullivan I am not receiving visitors at the moment. I am going to ask you to leave please.” You force your voice to be as even as possible. You had hoped it sounded harsh against his ears and prompted him to leave you.

“Please, I just need to explain to you what I was saying yesterday.” Harvey pleads to you as he walks closer to where you are standing. You watch each of his feet fall against the floor in a light pat as steps closer to you. Small steps as to not push any boarders.

“Will you let me speak with you? Privately.” Harvey continues his movement until he reaches only an arms distance, his eyes flicking to Haley then back to you. As you stare up at him chest heaving from the tightness of your dress mixed with the pace of which you arrived. You stopped breathing as he takes a final step forward. Harvey’s eyes meeting your own as he beseeches you.

“Please, my love, let me speak to you.” Haley gasps behind you and tugs the back of your dress. You pay her no mind as you continue to make eye contact with the doctor who now stands nearly brushing against you.

_

“My love? What does he mean by ‘my love’?” Haley rushes you into your room. Your shaking hands grip the post of your bed. You lungs are tight as you try to breathe.

“Get this thing off of me!” You yell as you begin to claw your dress in attempt to free you from the heavy winter wool. Haley comes to your aid attempting to loosen the ties of your bodice.

“Do not dodge me! What changed that he calls you my love?” Haley sounds angry as she speaks to you in a harsh voice.

“We both have our secrets Haley. Do not start with this. My heart is broken at the moment, and I do not wish for you to make it worse.” Your own voice come through as though it may as well been shaking with you.

“May I speak frankly, ma’am?” She stops tugging on you to let her hands fall to her side.

“For God’s sake I wish you would. Hurry and get this thing off of me!” She lifts her hands to your back once more.

“I’m trying, you need to stop moving!” She tugs at the ties a little more aggressively and pulls the last of the lacing free. “I need you to breathe!” She spins you towards her.

“Look at me.” Turning your head to meet her eye with her hand. “Did you fall in love with Harvey?”

You choke a sob upon seeing her face, “Yes.”

“Fool.”

“I beg your pardon?” The tears that were threating to fall dry within a single second.

“Tell me what happened.��

“I will tell me as soon as you tell me what happened with your gentleman.” Haley looks shocked as she falls silent.

“He said he doesn’t love me.”

“Oh Haley. I’m sorry.”

“No, do not apologize. I am 23 years old and I can handle myself with ease. I will be alright.”

“I do not apologize for that. I say sorry because I fear I have forced it from you when you were not ready to tell me.”

“I wasn’t. It happened the night we were in town. He said he was glad I was there and that he has something most important to tell me. So I came into his home and he informed me that our relationship could not continue. That is all I have to say about it as of now.”

“Haley.”

“Please. I do not want to hear you speak another apology.”

“That wasn’t what I was to say.”

“Then continue.”

“I want you to come with me to leave Pelican Town and go back to Boston.”

“You’re leaving?”

“Yes, and I want you by my side.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you will.”

“But my sister.”

“Emily is 30 years old. There should be no reason for you to stay here. She has a job just as you do and is fully capable.”

“I don’t think we’ve ever left each other before.”

“Go home and talk to your sister. Let me know your answer come tomorrow.”

“But what of the evening?”

“I think I can dress myself for one evening. Go, and I will see you in the morning.”

[corignem]

“I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time. I don’t need your help, and I definitely don’t need your pity. Fuck off.” // @unheald ( elijah ♥ )

sebastian had been around elijah long enough now to know a few things-- to have picked up things in either the unsaid, or the quick, passing comments. it didn't even have to be about being able to share thoughts-- sebastian was just always good at learning people. it certainly came to be important in his job, but it was especially important now, in knowing someone like elijah. someone who liked to talk but didn't actually like to say much. he had to read between the lines-- pick up on things that way.

one of those main things he'd come to learn, was how distant he could be in times like this. sebastian had rarely seen elijah hurt. in fact, he could count on one hand and have fingers to spare. and those times he had seen it, it had almost been intentional or at the very least, expected. fighting together... purposely going out of their way sometimes to cause trouble, if only because of how riled up it got them...

but this was different. seeing elijah like... this. he knew it wasn't going to go well at all. because in spite of how far they'd come-- drawing together, there was still this wall, wasn't there? this great, vast gap between them. while they certainly both held more memories now-- recalling their last time together, how they'd died for one another, died for... love, it still didn't help. they still both had their own lifetimes worth of pain and manipulation to work through. and he knew how deeply it went with elijah. how fucked up it all was.

sebastian would typically be understanding... would be kind, even. would let elijah get away with the attempts to push him away. it didn't work, of course. sebastian was here. he wasn't going anywhere. but usually he'd give elijah his space. but something felt different this time and sebastian ends up feeling more stubborn than his usual.

arms cross over his chest as he looks to elijah-- elijah who had turned his back on him now, and sebastian just raised an eyebrow at his form before shaking his head.

"you seriously think this is fucking pity? you think i'd give you that? honestly?" he remains staring at the mans back, eyes sweeping down and even without seeing, he can sense the pain elijah is in. the injuries. and while he knows they're both more than capable of patching themselves up-- literally, or magically-- he also knows this is more than just simple battle injuries.

"i really thought we could be past all this bullshit by now, elijah. i thought we trusted one another. but you're still their fucking toy, aren't you? you're still playing by their rules. hide away when you're hurt, don't let anyone close, don't let anyone see because then it makes you weak. it's crap. i thought you were done bowing to their ways of thinking?"

he knows it's not fair. he knows it's not right, because it takes a lot more than just a simple change of mind for those things to adapt. it's not that quick. but he can't let elijah just... continue. get away with it. keep pushing when sebastian had proven time and time again that he was dedicated. that he was loyal to him-- to them. to what they had together-- whatever that was.

"so take your fucking shirt off already and let me see what they did. i'm not going anywhere."