#life update 6.28.24

[daramdarararam]

puro pagbabago ung nararanasan ko the pas few months. im really going out of my comfort zone na🥹🥺 hirap nung una tbh pero, worth it naman.

malayo na ulit work ko sa bahay, lumuluwas na ako ulit nagawa ko na sya dati, pero this time nasa ncr na ako which is, di ko maimagine dati, kasi ayoko, kasi pakiramdam ko noon, hindi para sa mahihinang nilalang ang ncr, pakiramdam ko magkakasakit ako sa paligid mga ganyan, pero eto.. andaming hassle tbh hindi ako sanay sa polusyon na meron don kesa dito samin. mas masarap maglakad sa province kesa don, kasi kailangan mong tumingin sa daan mo kasi baka makaapak ka ng eat lalo jan sa munti. and, wala ako literal na kakilala. hindi pa naman ako madaling makipagclose, ung nangyare na last time na narinig kong chinichismis ako ng kasama ko sa tinutuluyan ko na kesyo "di raw ako kilala/nagpapakilala",.... hirap ako makipagkapwa tao pero depende kasi yon. kapag mabigat ang presensyang nararamdaman ko sayo, hindi kita papansinin agad.

mga bagay na akala ko hindi ko kaya, perong kayang kaya ko pala. looking back, gagi. duwag lang pala talaga ako, and palaging calculated risk lang ginagawa ko, i mean, ganon pa rin naman pero ngayon nagttake risk na ako ng malala hahahaha which means mas malakas na ang kumpyansa ko sa sarili ko na, magagawa ko ung goal ko gawin sa risk na yon. basta ang dami!

also, nakakatuwa lang how life, God, the universe, is guiding me thru meeting people along the way na mas makakapagpalawak nung kaisipan mo. sobrang galing lang, kasi they really leave a mark. been meeting strangers lalo sa work, sheeet. kailangan ko sila makita ulit at mayakap🥹thank you.

wala naman sa vocabulary ko ang pagsuko, madalas chumichill lang ako sa buhay, hindi masyadong pinaparamdam ang presensya, palaging nagtatago pero hindi talaga ako basta basta paaapi or papatapak kahit kanino, marami din akong nakilala na sobrang gaspang ng ugali, mas magaspang pa sa ugali ko!!! e ayoko ng nilalamangan ako. so, syempre pumapalag po ako. mukha lang akong chill pero di moko pedeng kantiin. salamat maderpader kasalanan nyo bat palaban ako silently.

last paragraph. hahahaha feel ko gulong gulo na utak ng mga tao sa paligid ko sa office. confused na siguro sila na ewan, kaya nakakatawa. nalilink ako sa mga babae sa office pota bwhahaha e alam kasi ng ilang kawork ko na accla akoooo bwhaha. and, meron akong crush na lalaki, saka babae. both pretty!!!! ung girl, sobrang alam nyo ung natutunaw ka kapag kausap mo sya? angganda kasi ng mata nya ang hirap nya hindi ka eye to eye contact kasi, sobrang maccaught nya talaga attention mo(ako lang siguro dahil crush ko sya) kasi angganda ganda nyaaa huhu. .. and this boi,bwhahaha kasama ko sya sa inuman kanina. paanong hindi ako malalasing eh sya nagtatagay sakin ?? sino ba naman ako para humindi sa kanya. cute cute nya e, tas ang touchy nyaa, palaging magkadikit bisig namin. hahahahaha madami pakong kwento tbh. itutulog ko nalang muna .hanggang sa muliii

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

6.28.24 Friday

9:03 am

Still,have windblow...

I feel bitterish coz of my stagnant situation....My river can't flow correctly...

Early in the morning Uncle DD approach me that it is a good timing that they are there coz the meralco man will nearly cut our electric....But Uncle DD and Aunt Karen are handling the fundings....Thankful but I'm not happy being a suppporter though they gave 1 sack of rice... They will not assist me on my vanities or toiletries....

I'm still not happy...

Will continue my list of friends here...

Best-friend's list:

1. Apple 2. Mitchang 3. Willa Biology in De La Salle coz I know 2 Willa's the other is on Medicine School 4.Roshena Isaac 5. JP Alintanahin 6. Brien Neil Cantimbuhan 7. Antonietto Saberon 8. Noreen Caparas 9. EMS 10.Chariz 11. Monette 12. Rose Marie Lasco 13. Ivan 14. Renalyn Espinoza 15. Rina 1 & 2 16. Karen Jarata 17. Jerome..

18. Thea-- I met Thea in De La Salle, she was originally an HRM student then she switched to Biology coz she wanted to be a doctor and I just smiled at her.... I was just quiet on her when we became an instant friends on that particular Biology Class, I think in Anatomy. It was my last year in colllege and I felt lazy so, I didn't actually study that much on that subject... She is super nice and very calm.

19. Leomen Rizalde-- My high school friend and we actually became an instant friends here when they moved here in Cavite. They bought a house on the next village here the South Garden. We became friends since 2nd year high school. She is naughty and very jolly kind of person. Bisexual and talkative... Flirty and Spicy and stubborn but a good friend. Now, she is in Canada or States as medtech...

20. Eric Judar--My high school friend with the others since 2nd year high school. We both have the same trait as "sleepy head" coz we are always sleepy during our break time. He is I think as far as I can remember a "sakristan mayor" in their church in Roman Catholic. He is always smiling,quiet and mysterious. But a good friend as well... Soft but a real man.

21. Cristine Sysu-- We met in FEU Recto became classmates for the entire year. She is really smart and very concious as well on her waist line like Mitch and Noreen, she doesn't have any fats on her waistline during our college days and I was always and still chubby. She is cute and talkative and a true friend and flirty and fighter. She always update me about her love life or love affair on her other friends....

22. Mark Sherwin Torres-- We met in FEU -Recto , we became good friends and somehow more than friends... or Let's say M.U. He is cute,tall and having chinky eyes... A Born Again Christian. He was an architect student but then switched to being a nurse when they went to New Jersey.

23. Ely--- Just recently here in this village coz I asked a back-up from him on so many stuff since I'm still a bummer... But originally he was a friend of my bestfriend Apple. We got a along for a year now, I think so... He is in our neighbourhood here in our village. He is very supportive and a good friend but when he is drunk, sometimes he can't control the bad spirit that is entering inside his brain nerves... But I told him to practice being aware though he is drunk...

10:26 am

Got my "Guasha".... Yey! Looking forward on modern vanities...

12:22 noon

Still,have windblow...

I feel bitterish... I still wanna get some vanities... I wanna travel and buy Starbucks everyday... I wanna go to gym and be fit.

Gain new uppish friends... I feel self-pity... I wanna buy stuff... How can I pay my loans? I need to have a self-fulfillment, earning.I wanna get a nose perfection.

I feel ugly and fat and old... I hate my cousin white for being married....

I hate Mitch if she did a simple battery on me and not even saying hi to me...

I wanna leave Cavite but I can't...17 years, I feel self-pity... I wasn't able to meet upper friends to lift me up...

I can't find a bf that I want... I want the face of my cousin white and Garret's face.

If I want someone I will post it here... I wanted a movement supposed to be but I want me the center!!!

On men that I will like, as much as possible, I want an only child if there is that I can adore the face...As much as possible, I don't want a bf who has a sister....I have complex right now... As much as possible, no sister... " As much as possible"....I have complex....I feel ugly!!! I don't like if someone will take my place or compete me. I hate being a supporter for 17 years.... As much as possible, I'm avoiding a man that has a sister and the looks and aura is like a star on screen or they prepared so much for their wonderful family tandem introduction to me.

I feel bitter already coz I'm no longer spoiled... I have no x-factor.these days....I'm no longer pampered!

I feel bitter I can't see my old good friends and I'm not prepared... But I have to see them, now that I have windblow but they are all missing in action in my life.

10:04 pm

Still,have windblow...

Thanks Marah & Kuya Erning for the 11th water container...