#li'l marcher

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Li'l Marcher

Debut: Yoshi's Crafted World

Remember the joke of Yoshi Tax Fraud? That was really funny as a single Tumblr post! And then not funny at all as a meme. And then kind of funny again when Suppermariobroth unearthed that Yoshi tries to sweettalk people into tax breaks in Fortune Street!

But that is all old news. Let's talk about Yoshi's real, canon crimes! Yoshi has performed a museum heist. Isn't that great?

"No, it's not great. I hate it!"

Oh. Sorry. And who are you?

"I'm Li'l Marcher from Yoshi's Crafted World. And I hate museum heists! Share my story with the world. The people need to know that I hate museum heists."

Yeah okay. Sure. I'll do that. I'm sure people will be very interested in that.

"Thank you. They will. I'll be the next Goomba."

Well, this is Li'l Marcher, and it hates museum heists! Yoshi, on the other hand, loves them, and is sort of just casually looting this place after hours. That's some Wario behavior! But he must be careful, because if he's seen by the automated spotlight, the security system TAKES CONTROL and starts ATTACKING the Yoshi! This security system is the Li'l Marchers, an endless supply of little waddling siren guys.

And being a security system is really their whole thing! If Yoshi is seen, the sirens are released to Get him, but not to alert anyone. Just to Get him. Addressing the fact that this museum is easy enough to enter that a dinosaur got in? No thank you! They just want to kill that intruder and die themselves in the process, because they die instantly upon bumping into Yoshi.

Look at that. Bumbling, I tell you! What's so important about this museum that these bulbs of buffoonery risk their life to protect?

I don't know, but there ARE paintings of Li'l Marchers displayed around the museum! Perhaps they feel in the organization's debt, due to it showing them this appreciation? Or it could be their very own art, and the poor things fear that some of the little culture they have is at risk of theft. Whatever the case, they sure love this painting, because the exact same one is displayed all throughout the stage!

Maybe the true reason they are so dedicated to protecting this museum is that it is frankly just not a good museum. A far below average establishment. The painting is nice, sure, but I only really need to see it once! When you buy a ticket to this museum, proceeds are absolutely not going toward improving its collections. They are instead going to making even more cute little security guards to Kill You. If you're dead, you won't find out that the museum sucks! It's a perfect plan! If you ever plan on going to a bad museum... be careful!