#lexen

[shadylex]

I see those tags and i wanna know about the (former) kingdom hearts oc real badly now

Oh my god, am I really going to go off?

Am I about to really embarrass myself at my literally 18 year old OC who is the whole reason I got into writing in the first place? And the weird obsession I have with any media/character that has to do with memory manipulation and mind reading?

I sure as fuck am, I'm about to talk about my OC that has basically been my face on tumblr for the last seven years at this point.

You're all about to meet Lexen, and how she came into existence.

Kingdom Hearts 2 released on December 22, 2005, and it was around this time that my ex-friend gave me this game as a sequel to the first Kingdom Hearts I had previously played.

I didn't make any OCs for the first game. I was just so enraptured by being able to play a video game with Disney characters in it and the frankly odd amount of platforming in this game. It was when I was given Kingdom Hearts 2 right after finishing the first one did it all really start to sink in.

Little 11 year old me was FULLY invested in anything edgy or cool looking, as with all kids around this age, and Organization XIII basically took me by the throat and never let go. This was my first jump into fandom and fan art and writing and a whole world that I now was able to read and look. I never really joined any big communities, I actually have a sour experience with the KHInsider website at the time so I really missed out on community.

Which is fine, I think I would've turned out much more toxic if I was part of a large community. What is more important is that KH2 was the beginning of Lexen.

Lexen is a self-insert of myself. Full on, just me thrown into the Kingdom Hearts world and having a good time, marysueing it up and just living it up in the haydays of FF.net. Then I started getting more creative and made a whole new character to investigate a thing that was barely touched on in KH2's plot.

The fact that Sora lost a lot of his memories between 1 and 2. I didn't realize at that time that Chain of Memories had happened, so the only exposure I really had was Namine who is the only character in-game that had any reference to memory manipulation.

So little ol' me though, "I could do better. I can make someone cooler."

And made Lexen.

Lexen is the secret 14th memory (very creative at the time, haha) and was specifically a living weapon that Xemnas used to both seed worlds with darkness and to keep Xemnas protected from danger and potential betrayals within the Organization.

My main concept for her was the fact that Nobodies within KH were said to have no emotions, merely mimicking their emotions from memories they have when they were alive. So... what happens when you are reborn but have no memories?

You have no frame of reference, no ability to experience emotions. At that moment, you are a blank slate. And all it takes is one person to pick you up and basically rewrite you however way they want.

Xemnas was the one to find Lexen first. Give her a name. Give her a purpose.

And Xemnas became Lexen's whole world and universe.

There was a devotion not born really out of loyalty, though that came about later, but because there was a lack of direction for Lexen. There was no reason for her to doubt, so she just followed without thought.

It was discovered fairly early on that she had an ability to mind read and to also extract memories out of a person. Xemnas saw potential in this power and trained her to be more autonomous and skilled with her powers. Eventually getting her to a point where she could made decisions for herself, but they were always to the benefit of Xemnas. To the Organization as a whole? Not always, it wasn't Lexen's job to question that. Just to follow orders and do them successfully.

Somewhere in her training and growing, it was also discovered she had a bit of Darkness within her. Not like she was harnessing Darkness as a power and using it herself, just a ball of Darkness that lived in her body separate from her soul. And it was growing more and more as she went to different worlds to plunge them into Darkness.

Until it eventually got strong enough to manifest as a whole new being.

Introducing: Berserk! The person who has been my icon on tumblr for the last 7 years!

She is not an alter ego to Lexen. She is not a power up move for Lexen. She is a completely separate identity and being that just happens to live in the same body as Lexen. Two minds, one body. And Berserk really wants to have sole control over this body to just cause untold amounts of damage towards anything. Not exactly something Xemnas wants out of his living weapon.

What he wants is total control and total loyalty to his word. Berserk (the name was given to her after she tried to kill him) was a wrench in the plan, but perhaps useful in specific situations.

My personal headcanon for Xemnas' power (which is Nothingness) is that he is an equivalent God to Nobodies. He can manipulate them, solidify their existence, and also erase them. It was how I justified his position as head of the Organization and how most everyone followed his word without asking too many questions. Those who did well... I eventually learned about Chain of Memories and added that to the lore.

So Xemnas used his powers to create a mental wall between Lexen and Berserk. Lexen would always have control of the body, was the dominate mind, and Berserk was locked away in a box to never be released unless used for specific means. Lexen was thrilled about this, no need to worry about the second person in her head. Berserk grew to have an absolute vendetta against Xemnas and Lexen for being her jail and jailer.

And it all came to a point by the end of KH2. When Xemnas was in the final showdown between himself and Sora and Riku. Lexen was waiting on the sidelines, looking for a signal to jump in and save Xemnas. But it never came, but Lexen decided to make the choice herself but she never was able to save Xemnas. Because as Xemnas was getting his ass handed to him by Sora and Riku, his focus on Lexen and Berserk's mental barrier faltered and Berserk took over.

Berserk and Lexen fought at this moment. A mental battle over who would have control over the body and have access to the rest of the universe. It concluded with Lexen having formed a mental barrier herself and blocking off Berserk long enough to regain sight and hearing with her body, but it was all over by then.

She had failed in protecting the one person that was her entire reason for living, and he was dead. The world she was on was falling apart. She has to decide right now if she wants to escape and keep living, or give up and let Berserk take over and never be seen again.

Lexen obviously took the step to escape. Was it out of survival? Maybe revenge? But she don't have the emotional output for revenge, and what good was it afterwards when her person that gave her purpose is dead forever?

These are all questions she had as she escaped onto a ship and flew off into space. Questions she never had reason to think about until now. It was now down to Lexen alone to decide what to do with this life and non-existence she was given and to make a person out of herself.

I dub these her Wandering Days.

And this is where I usually hang out in my internal exploration for Lexen, because there is where I can drop her into any fiction work without changing her character to fit the place. I start reading a book series I like? Throw Lexen in there straight from Kingdom Hearts and just let her explore. I'm watching Star Wars now? Just throw her in there with the Jedi and have them be confused at her magic powers and mind manipulation without the Force.

This is also my way of having Lexen experience lots of different cultures and people and learning that she can make something of herself. She doesn't need to be a living weapon. She doesn't need to devote herself to a singular purpose or person. In fact, as time goes on, she grows to see the logical disadvantage to being unjust, cruel, and malicious to people. She starts interfering in worlds that are oppressed to try and help them out.

But why would she do that, if she doesn't have the emotional capability to empathize and feel sorrow?

Well, I figured that if there was no emotional response from Lexen, then she solve all things with logical conclusions. And even from an emotionless, non-existent being who was cruel and ruthless before she could still logically come to the idea that it is better to not be like that anymore.

And this is a very, very, very messy summary of Lexen and Berserk. I haven't even touched on how the two minds interact with each other in their mind palace sort of dealio. Or my explanation of how Lexen's memory removal powers work as well. Or how my username is a mash-up of an old name I had and Lexen shoved together to make my new identity!

If you got to the bottom of this wall text, thank you very much!

I deeply appreciate anyone who read all of this and enjoyed even a second of it. Lexen is my heart and soul of a lot of creative writing I do. I keep working on her, updating her story with new ideas and lore as it comes to me and maybe one day I'll share her full experience to the world.

[lesenbyan]

Oh yes right, tomorrow is for fucking with diffuses to see if I can give Cyn her scars

[dvalshock]

I need to reactivate my sub I wanna make a Kyoko Otonashi cosplay

[eirakairos]

This is my OC named Eira, she is going to be the love goddess in Sors Tempus.

[mewling-central]

Sorry for disappearing, was busy working on next language in the Seraphic family, Ireturish! I had a lot of fun with this one, got to do a lot of new stuff with this like vowel harmony and formality registers. It uses a modified version of the shorthand Seraphic script which (mostly) lacks the segmenting and puts each syllable in a new block. Here's a translation of the UDHR, more info below:

/ˈeʔ.ner eʔˈsʰeˌræh eːˈs'ʰäh gu s'ʰem in æːˈtʰem im.bi æzˈzæ.ʝen bi ˈlexen im.bi ˈlen.zerˌhæh | ˈeʔ.ner reˈʎɯː.änˌnä inˈs'ʰæ ˈsʰe.ræh eːˈs'ʰäh ni ˌli.zænˈnim ɯːʔˈrɯm ˌɯː.ʎäˈwɯm im.bi s'äɲ ˌrø.søˈʝø eːˈs'ʰäh in lesˈs'ʰæ ɯːˌlɯ.zänˈnä sʰæh sʰeː eːˈs'ʰäh eːˈnɯː/

E’ner e’sherah ees”äh gu s”em in aathem imbi azzaźen bi lexen imbi lenzer-hah. E’ner reýüüännä ins”a sherah ees”äh bi lizannim üü’rüm üüýäwüm, imbi s’äñ rësëźë ees”äh in less”a üülüzännä shah shee ees”äh eenüü.

GNO PRE.MTL-seraph ANADJ-everyone out.of egg as ADJ-free and ADJ-equal with dignity and rights(COL) || GNO PRE.ACTN-help for seraph ANADJ-everyone with thought-PL INADJ-reasonable-PL INADJ-ethic-PL | and OBLG PRE.ACTN-3S ANADJ-everyone as reason INADJ-friendship between person ANADJ-everyone ANADJ-other

"All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood."

[jewish-anime]

was disappointed that lexen-tails didn’t make the cut for viera hair ports this patch so i am manifesting it for myself ehehe

[enwie]

Two things I've been waiting for! King's Guillotine is probably my second favourite from Titania's weapons right after King's Shield, and I've wanted to use the Lexen-tails hair for like... 5 years?

[cidnangarlond]

I BETTERRRRRRR get to be able to have lexen tales as a fem viera now I swear to GOD

[dirthara-dalen]

Learning about this all important vision intrigued him. The fact that the Three refused to share it with him, well, it jsut added to his many reasons why he found the Voss incredibly difficult to deal with. Sana-rae did suggest a way around this roadblock. Help with the rebuilding. He agreed to do so in order to gain his audience.

Before leaving Arcann stopped him as he wished to speak to him. Arcann revealed his doubts about his redemption or as he put it, atonement. This was not going to be an easy road. Ligastar made it clear that no matter what happened, whether it be in the past, present or future he would stand by him. He had already forgive Arcann for what he had done to him. That was a step in the right direction. Arcann thanked him for his kind words and admitted he was glad to call Ligastar his friend.

(Some bonus clone wars lore after cut)

Well over 3k years later the bond that was forged by Arcann and Ligastar is still going strong. Lee Starwing grew up reading his families histories which eventually led him to meet Lexen Tirall during a trip to Zakuul.

Lexen knows full well his family history. It takes Lee's influence for him to fully accept what had happened and that the past has zero control over his family in the present day. Lexen doesn't always admit it but Arcann is his hero just as Ligastar is for Lee.

[theotherseapancakes]

Hmmm. I don't know how popular Warrior of Light sideblogs would even be but im definitely feeling motivated/secured enough about Stanza I want to actually make some art for him, probably more often now that his hairstyle is finally getting a release. (Lexen tails my beloved.)

Thinking abt what to do on patch day is always so hard waaah

This was my final prepatch screenshot, and some of my actual IC glam for him.

[shadylex]

Nine people you'd like to know better

tagged by @yansurnummu thank you so so much!

3 ships

Lets goooooo, starting off with one that lives rent free in my head is Yera/Teldryn.

I forgot when but I didn't immediately get interested in Teldryn even after the Dragonborn DLC came out. It was a fic that had him as a side character that got me interested, then I started looking up other Ao3 fics with him in it and it's all I think about when daydreaming about Yera.

Yera by the time she gets to Solstheim has already gone through two world ending events and is super tired and ready to kick this Miraak character's ass and isn't with her friend Lydia at the moment so she needs to hire a mercenary to guide her around on account she is blind and uh oh. Good with a sword with a handsome voice? Basically got a crush on him second 1 and it's downhill from there.

Working on like an intro fic for the two of them but I can never seem to get it right but it'll get there one day.

Next is Yera/Miraak funnily enough, I am not alone in wanting that old book man. I just think that with Yera's incredibly strong personality and also probably kicking his ass while saving him would mesh well with him. I also have the thought that if Yera hung around Miraak long enough, he would convince her of taking the Rudy Throne on the base that they both are Dragon soul so they ought to rule everything.

But what if Yera had two hands, and she held hands with Teldryn and Miraak in the same house wouldn't that be wild haha... unless?

And my last ship is silly, but only because I recently re-watched Full Metal Alchemist but it's Miles/Olivier Armstrong. I love the Briggs portion of the show so much, I usually start there when I want a quick rewatch of the show. I just think they're neat, and people write some fun fics about them together so I'm having a lot of fun going through them and yeah.

First ship Had to be my oc/canon pairing Lexen/Riku from Kingdom Hearts. Lexen is my oldest most precious OC who has gone through some drastic changes in life that she is unrecognizable in the beginning and I'm almost embarrassed by the ship but I was like 14 and Riku was edgy and that's the kind of characters I liked so I could never exist haha

Last song 6.24 by Danger (Furi OST) I heard this song being used as a fight montage song and I had to find the original and welp I'm listening to a bunch of synth songs now

Currently reading Nothing at the moment, however my partner has the Elric of Melnibone series I got them for Christmas and they're done with them now, so it's my turn to read them!

Last film Me and my partner went to watch Godzilla Minus One and omfg that was so so scary a movie but also how do you have a monster film be also about survivors guild its so so good I highly recommend watching it as soon as you can!

Currently craving

We have so many noodles in the house right now but I was craving some instant noodles something fierce a few minutes ago. I opted to go with some pico de gallo I made as a before bed snack but the noodles... they call for me in my dreams

Tagging @icicleteeth @scalecallerpeak @khajiitclaws and whoever else wants to join in

[hythlodaes]

i changed emile’s hair to the lexen tails last night as a potential ShB patch/endwalker hair but i’m not immediately in love with it,,,, idk if it’s because he’s had the same hair since the end of HW or if it just doesn’t suit him, but we’re testing it out for a lil bit to see ksdjfsdfs

[dvalshock]

please for 6.5 give viera more hair please

[aoife-asturmaux]

threw together a little diagram of aoife’s canon hair growth progression after her 6.0 haircut ;v; i’m thinking that by 6.4 she’ll be back to her usual fluffy self, unless they decide to give us lexen-tails...

while it wasn’t on purpose, i like that each of her new styles involves a braid :> she wants to match g’raha

shader: neneko simple & clean 2

[snap-blogz]

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[icehearts]

mod list/WCIF below da cut ↓↓

1. Rinoa HAIR - Coffee by Mabel (port) by Liealee [ https://xivmodarchive.com/modid/85969 ] TOP - Appointed Makai Jacket by Rook [ https://ko-fi.com/s/04353c482f ] BOTTOMS - Ishgardian Expeditioner's Pantalettes by Rook [ https://ko-fi.com/s/78b0ff94d2 ] HANDS - Demeter by liealee [ https://xivmodarchive.com/modid/40641 ] SHOES - High House Halfboots (vanilla)

2. Aerith HAIR - Lyse x Hilda Mashup (port) by nilla [ https://xivmodarchive.com/modid/22569 ] HEAD - Ribbons! by cherry [ https://ko-fi.com/s/54f9a07f47 ] TOP - Easy Breezy by Amayaaaa [ https://xivmodarchive.com/modid/60003 ] BOTTOMS - Strappy Skirt by Storia [ https://trello.com/c/de30TwqL/10-strappy-skirt-bottoms ] HANDS - Demeter by liealee [ https://xivmodarchive.com/modid/40641 ] SHOES - Obsolete Android's Boots of Healing (vanilla)

3. Tifa HAIR - Cadence by emmer [ https://ko-fi.com/s/ab780496c7 ] EARRINGS - Tifa's Earrings by Reiry [ https://xivmodarchive.com/modid/76460 ] TOP & BOTTOMS - Cropped Up by cherry [ https://ko-fi.com/s/dd20876057 ] HANDS - Dominique Gloves by Alex, but I couldn't find a link to the mod or any of the modmaker's other stuff T_T SHOES - Cyma Unisex Boots by gutterdreamer [ https://trello.com/c/gpvPjGVz/135-cyma-boots ]

4. Black & Green HAIR - Rosewater by floralhaze [ https://xivmodarchive.com/modid/50594 ] HEAD - ribbon set by clef [ taken down I think? ] TOP & BOTTOMS - obsolete dress by clef [ also taken down I think ] HANDS - Edenmoon Gloves Mashups by crystalcorde [ https://xivmodarchive.com/modid/64546 ] SHOES - High-Heeled Hyuran Longboots by sparrows [ https://xivmodarchive.com/modid/24532 ]

5. Garnet HAIR - Lexen-Tails Viera Mashup by efi, but this is another one where I couldn't find a link to the mod or any of the modmaker's other stuff u_u NECKLACE - Healing Wind by wisteriaphyte [ https://ko-fi.com/s/6202466fc3 ] TOP - Wa Da Da by visix [ https://visix.gumroad.com/l/gzikjk?layout=profile ] BOTTOMS - Magitek Corps by Tofu Mods [ https://ko-fi.com/s/513009e5a5 ] SHOES - Fieldfiend's Costume Workboots (vanilla)

I put my OC in an outfit. I put my OC in another outfit. then I put my OC in anothe—