#levi ackerman needs a hug

[elmundodeflor]

No me queda nada, sólo el recuerdo.

Quizás, es por eso que dejo que la imaginación revolotee. Que mis manos te pinten, como si de un cuadro se tratara. 

Nunca pudimos sacarnos una foto. Plasmar, casi inmortal, todo lo tangible de aquello que no nos decíamos. Pero rebusco entre los cajones. Allí, en lo profundo del alma. Hago lugar, saco las cajas polvorientas. Y aunque las palabras no resbalan, ni salen a borbotones de entre las sombras, te encuentro.

Puedo sentirte, acá conmigo. Dicen que a veces la mente bloquea las memorias que aún desgarran para mitigar el dolor. Que nos engañamos, al menos por un ratito, para que los agujeros negros no nos consuman.

Yo nunca supe engañarme, Hanji. Creo que vos podés verlo más claro que nadie. Te reías de mi hablar crudo, y me susurrabas al oído, y limabas mis asperezas— tal vez, con el afán de hacerme parecer más suave. Hacerme pensar que este corazón viejo y cansado tenía un espacio pequeño dentro del tuyo.

No me arrepiento, igualmente. De las palabras que callamos, o de no tener fotos tuyas, o de nunca haber sido digno de tu amor. Las fotos envejecen, se destiñen bajo el arrullo del tiempo. Pero yo puedo moldearte bajo mis palmas, casi como si te conociera de memoria. Si cierro los ojos, puedo bordear tus recovecos, llenarte de color.

Es que eso eras, Hanji. Una explosión del color más vivo y vibrante. El brillo de los fuegos artificiales, el neón del atardecer. Eras tu melena alocada en el viento, encrespada como el vaivén de las olas. Los lunares que salpicaban tu barbilla; casi constelaciones lejanas, inconexas. 

A la noche, cuando las luces se apagan, tu imagen se me aparece de entre los rincones. Al principio dolía, un dolor tan demoledor que calaba hasta los huesos. Ahora, creo que duele menos. O que aprendí a vivir con el dolor. Como cuando aceptamos que la luna tiene cráteres, huecos, oscuridad incluso bajo la luz.

Quizás, es porque cuando te veo, te veo sonriendo. No hay rastros de guerra, ni de pérdida, ni de lo poco que nos quedó de humanidad. Vestís de blanco, con coronas de "no-me-olvides" en el pelo. El sol te acaricia, igual de suave que como yo hubiese querido hacerlo. Y me decís: "suficiente, Levi". "Ya pasó, Levi".

Y entonces te creo.

Me siento con vos, y permito que la eternidad flote entre nosotros. Te preparo un té con mis mejores hierbas, observo atento cómo el rubor te arde en la piel. Me digo que ya no importan; el dolor que demuele, los secretos bajo llave, las fotos arrugadas, o las que no pudimos conservar.

Si cierro los ojos, puedo delimitar tus facciones. Las líneas rectas de tu nariz, el arco de tus pestañas. Puedo inhalar el calor de tu cuerpo, hablarle a las estrellas.

Y hay semanas, o meses, en los que quisiera volver atrás, gritarte que no te vayas, que sin vos el mundo es una imagen en blanco y negro. Pero, ¿sabés, Hanji? Hoy, que puedo grabarte en acuarelas, entiendo que con eso me basta.

Por eso, te hago un lugar en mi mesa, y en todas las grietas del alma. Limpio la casa para recibirte, desempolvo las cajas. Ya no hago preguntas, aún convencido de que no tengo las respuestas. Dejo que tu voz cante, y entreteja en mil paisajes las maravillas que siempre supiste tararear. Te escucho, como un niño desbordado de ilusión. Y en mi alocado desvelo, te guardo conmigo; en cada parpadeo, en cada amanecer, en cada latido.

Porque estás ahí, todavía. Lo sé, Hanji. Un día, los velos del olvido van a llevarme a mí también. Las galaxias van a tragarme, como polvo de estrellas, y voy a tener todo el aire en el espacio para pensar en cada madrugada en la que fallé.

Pero no me arrepiento. De nada. Qué extraño, ¿no? Si pudiera, te juro, lo haría casi todo de nuevo, así tal cual fue. Las heridas que nos vendamos, el reír a carcajadas, haber sido cómplices en cada pedacito de vida. No lo cambiaría. Y menos aún, si es que pudieran asegurarme que voy a cruzarme con tu sonrisa otra vez. Como cuando me susurrabas al oído. Como cuando mis sueños te pintan.

Entonces me duermo, incluso estando despierto. Cierro los ojos, y mi mente me arrastra hasta ese lugar en donde todo está en pausa— un claro en el bosque, la casa que construimos. Me contás, como siempre, que Erwin está más tranquilo. Que mi mamá te adora. Que Eren y Sasha no paran de pelearse.

Y sonrío. De esas sonrisas que sólo vos podías arrancarme. El té se nos enfría, el sol se derrite tras la ventana. Pero estás ahí, Hanji. Estás ahí, aunque no pueda tocarte nunca más.

Me acuerdo, todavía, de esa vez en la que vimos la luna. Era primavera, y los chicos entrenaban cerca del arroyo. Te pregunté, por qué no brillaba igual que al caer la noche; “¿no debería brillar más ahora, con la luz del día?”, dije. Te relamiste los labios, como siempre que ibas a salpicarme con historias, y respondiste, claro y sencillo: “algunas cosas necesitan de oscuridad para ser descubiertas.”

¿Será por eso que te siento adentro mío, enlazada a cada exhalación? ¿Que nuestro escondite en el bosque es una rendija de cielo, donde nada quema ni lastima? ¿Será que me estoy escurriendo, y en mi afán obsesivo me aferro a tu amor? ¿Que en el vacío que dejaste, sólo hay espacio para sembrar estrellas?

Quizás haya perdido la cordura, Hanji. No lo sé. Pero empiezo a pensar que te transformaste en luna. En cuarto creciente. Con cráteres y todo. Que tu destello rasga hasta las penumbras más negras. Es un faro de esperanza que guía las mareas. “Suficiente, Levi”, repetís, casi como un arrullo de cuna, con tus manos en mi pelo y tu boca en la mía. Y entonces te aprieto, bien fuerte contra mi pecho. Y dejo que llenes las grietas, y las cajas, y que tiñas de color cada foto que no tenemos.

“Estoy bien, Levi”, me asegurás. “Vamos a volver a vernos.”

Y entonces, porque nunca supe hacer otra cosa, o porque ya no me queda nada, te creo.

[notally-tormal]

My First One shot Posted On Tumblr, woah.

Anyways, this is a Levi Ackerman x GN Reader

*Cross posted on Ao3

'When The Light Stops Shining | Levi x Reader'

TW: Swearing, Suicide, Reader Dies, Suicidal thoughts

Read Under The Cut:

Levi wasn't one for all that love bullshit. He had felt it once, for Isabel and Farlan, and look where it got him. So he vowed to never love anyone again.

But he met you. And his resolve became much weaker. Now he was never one to believe in love at first sight, but upon meeting you, he could've swore that it was real.

As he came to know more and more of you, he found himself falling deeper and deeper for you and the little things you do; Your laugh, the way you would look at him in the early hours of the morning, your smile, just you in general.

He cursed himself for falling so deep into love with you, because that voice in the back of his head kept telling him that you would die like all the others. He had tried so hard to push you away, but no matter what, you always found your way back to each other.

Then 3 years later, he found himself at the alter, with you as his spouse.

"My love, my light, my everything. You have awoken a feeling in me that I had never thought could be awoken. You are everything to me. I love you more than anything and I would do anything to keep you safe."

He was pouring his heart out to you, in a rare moment of vulnerability, and all you could muster through your tears was a weak 'I love you' but he didn't care. He knew how much you loved him.

But that mission was going to haunt him for the rest of his life.

It had been a few months after you two had gotten married, and you had also just found out you were pregnant. He was hesitant at first, because babies are really messy, and he didn't think he was ready for kids yet, but as the days went on, he found himself getting used to the idea.

You, being your stubborn self, has insisted on going on the expedition. He tired so hard to convince you not to go, as the voice was warning him at all that could happen. You didn't care, much to nobody's suprise. You were going and nobody, not even the love of your life, could stop you.

It was a particularly long and grueling mission, many young cadets perished, but he hadn't expected you to be joining the dead.

Titans were coming up behind the squad, and you had decided to go and eliminate them. He thought nothing of it at first, I mean your strong, you could make it.

But the minutes ticked by, he got even more worried.

But you would make it, right?

Right?

But the voice got the better of him, and he decided to go back, instructing his squad to only move if there was a threat.

The sight that greeted him would be one that haunted him for the rest of his life.

You were being chewed and tossed around by multiple Titans, like a bone they were fighting over. But you were alive. You could feel everything.

His eyes traveled to your face. Your gorgeous face, now half eaten. But your eyes, your blank, agonized, dull eyes, haunted him. And he faltered. He just watched as one titan swallowed you whole.

In that moment, it seemed like the world stopped. He knew you weren't dead, so you were just suffering, and suffering. He landed on a nearby tree, and just watched as the Titans ran away, looking for their next victim.

He cursed himself for letting you go alone, for letting you come on this mission, for marrying you, for letting you get close to him, for loving you. He blamed himself for everything.

He debated jumping off that tree or sliting his throat right then and there. But he knew that you would want him to continue fighting, to avenge you.

***

He was now 41, it was after the rumbling, and he decided that he's had enough of this shit. He's had enough of loosing people, enough of being alone. So he grabbed a blade from the wall, a memorial to the scouts he had kept, and killed himself. Finally joining you and your unborn child, along with everyone else, in the afterlife.

[rubybii]

Levi manifesting as omega

[starrylevi]

Better Days ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

You don’t know if it’s the comedown from the meds, your period, or one of your disorders making you feel this extreme sadness but you need this feeling to go away. It’s more annoying than anything. You’re not one to compare anyone’s pain but Levi’s been through an entire war in which he lost his eye, a couple of fingers, and his ability to walk. The war in your head is nothing compared to that. So what you do is you grit your teeth and just try to ride this almost debilitating wave of misery until it’s over.

Of course you’re silly to think that Levi wouldn’t be able to tell something’s wrong. He’s lost some things but he definitely hasn’t lost his perceptiveness.

“Oi…” His tone is soft as he places a hand on your thigh, taking you out of your thoughts. You realize he’s right in front of you and he’s wearing a small frown. When did he get here?

You blink rapidly, your surroundings slowly coming into focus. “Hey.” You reply, your tone also soft but there’s an underlying tiredness in your voice and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Levi.

“You okay?” He asks you, giving you the chance to open up and be honest, his eyes looking at you with concern.

You blink a few more times, still in a bit of a daze. “Yeah, I’m just-“

“Don’t do that.” He cuts you off gently. You know what those words mean. You know better than to lie to me. And you do know better. But you also don’t want to burden him.

You give him a tired smile and continue. “Really, Levi-“

“C’mere.” He cuts you off again with a pat to his thigh, beckoning you to sit on him.

“Your legs, Levi.” You remind him, worried your weight on him will put too much pressure on the lower half of his body.

“I don’t care.” He sighs before he grabs you by the waist, surprising you with his upper body strength despite you knowing that he continues to keep himself in shape, especially when it comes to his arms and core. He places you onto his lap and positions you so that you’re sitting bridal style on him in his wheelchair.

“Levi…” You whine, although you let out a slight chuckle as your arms find their home around his neck.

“Mm?” He looks down at you, his eyebrows raised as his arms encircle you.

You roll your eyes playfully as he feigns stupidity.

He gives you a small smirk before his expression softens, concern still present in his eyes. “Seriously, what is it?” He asks, his voice barely above a whisper as he presses his forehead against yours.

You sigh yourself before your shoulders raise in a defeated shrug as you look back up at him. “I don’t know…I’m just sad.” You give him a glum smile.

And there’s the truth. It hurts him to know you’re feeling this way and there’s no way for him to realistically help. He wishes he can reach inside you and pull all of the negative feelings out. He would swallow them himself if he could. He can deal with sadness but it’s a struggle to watch you deal with it. So for now he tries to help as best as he can through his touch, holding you tight against his chest as he places kisses on your skin. He might not know what to say but he knows how to touch you to remind you of the promise he made to you before the war, of living through better days. You are his better days. They don’t exist without you. But more importantly, you deserve better days. You deserve the laughter, the hugs, and the happy tears. Better days are coming, but they’re also here. And Levi’s willing to go through hell and back to make sure you stay for them.

[theintrovertedextrovert]

Post War Levi HC

I think about PostWar Levi and if he ever found his s/o, someone he trusts with his entire being.

I think he would tell them about everything that he went through, without shedding a tear because he never really had the chance to express his grief before, as he dedicated his entire life towards helping humanity, always putting others first. It would take him a good while to realize the depth of his grief and to lower the walls he had built around him, before the dam of emotions comes crashing down.

I think he would then lay down with his s/o with his head tucked in the crook of their neck, and his s/o would eventually feel their shirt slightly dampen, a sign of Levi's silent tears. And they would hold him tight and stroke his hair without saying a word; a silent acknowledgement.

Because I think no amount of words would ever suffice for the pain and hell he's been through.

[miorne-kaths]

So u all r telling me that Levi doesn't know who his father is, and the father doesn't know Levi is his son.

Like, that man can watch Levi and "oh that's the Strongest Soldier of Humanity", unknowing that's HIS SON? HIS BLOOD-RELATED SON???

Like, EXCUSE ME??? SIR DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT U JUST MISS-

Holy shit.

[lucixfers]

"Levi, you're beautiful."

The words slipped your lips as if it were the most honest, natural thing to say. It was.

Levi blinked. The air had been swept from right under him, ground shifting beneath his feet. For him, this very well might have been a second rumbling. His sharp gaze faltered with a mix of surprise and disbelief—mostly disbelief.

There was a brief pause in which Levi's lips parted, perhaps ready to refute your words, but before he could respond, you reached out, firmly placing a hand on his chest. And before the depths of his self doubt could claw at him any more, your arms had now enveloped him in a surge of warmth that cascaded throughout his entire body. You held him so close, it was as if your hearts connected in a rhythm that echoed in the quiet space and harmonized with the subtle shifts in your breathing.

It was so natural. Though it felt so foreign even to you, even if your hearts beat in a syncopated rhythm that mirrored your hesitancies and vulnerabilities, it was just so natural.

You two are, after all, only human.

[retrograde-tonic]

The final battle ⚔️

[levisonlylover]

Flu season with Levi (2)

(this time he got sick, poor baby.)

After a few weeks of your own recovery, Levi got sick. But he didn't want to show it. He doesn't like showing weakness but he fails to do so. The moment you saw him, you knew he was sick. He looked drowsy and he kept tissues around him. When you two get home, you prepare his medicine and meal. Levi is a stubborn man, sometimes you have to force him to drink it. You would make his favorite tea and even clean the house for him as he lay and rest. The words you'll hear most would be "I am fine and capable of cleaning and working, Y/N." As he coughs and sneezes. You both know you aren't buying it. But there are some days where he won't be stubborn. But when you're away to buy something he gets needy..he would cuddle you more than usual and even hug you in your sleep. After a few weeks though, he becomes well. He would thank you, by taking you out for dinner or even a simple act of service.

[quillsandblades]

Fragments

(tw: blood and gore, graphic violence)

“Making tea is a ritual that stops the world from falling in on you.”

― Jonathan Stroud

Levi could hear the throb of his pulse, loud as thunder in his ears. 

Other than that, the world was silent.

He was aware of his fingers sinking into the soft flesh of the bastard who held him down, his nails broke through the skin and with an unnatural strength, Levi tore his face away like a mask. Strips of muscle and distorted tissue dangled behind leaving a gaping hole of a nose, grinning white teeth. And the smell of blood. 

And then he was running towards the rest of them.

He jumped, pivoting in mid-air as his hands clamped around a man’s jaws. Wrenching them apart with a force he felt rushing down his arm as a trail of fire, burning white hot. He didn’t hear the crack that followed as the upper half of his face burst apart, sending out a spray of blood all over them. His remnant senses were hyper-active; he could see every single speck of dust floating in the air, and the drops of scarlet that mingled with them. Every push of his arm, every kick of his leg, resonated down to the very bones. 

His fists reached out, someone’s body connected, a muscle was ruptured, a bone fractured, dislodged teeth spewed out in red spit. 

He didn’t count the second, didn’t mark the moment when his hands pulled one life out of a body and tossed it into the dark. He simply knew that others had to follow. That was all. 

And follow they did. 

One by one, every life, every light was snuffed out by his young fingers. And as each flame went dark, his hands burned red in the scraps of its smoke. He could feel nothing at all, just the thrum of his heart like explosions setting off in his chest.

BA-DUM

One of the men’s stomach rippled under the force of his punch. His knee crashed his face against the rock, leaving a wet mark and ripped skin upon it. 

BA-DUM

A kick zipped through the air, someone collapsed. Another kick and blood pooled in the dirt.

BA-DUM

A body was hauled up by foreign arms—no, his arms. Were they his arms? Was this him, Levi? The body was heavy, cold, empty. It was pushed over the edge of the road and tumbled down the throat of the ditch. 

Only one of them was left. His garbled words took a moment to reach Levi’s head and that’s when he stopped. His ears unclogged and sounds rushed in like a tsunami. 

‘. . . Kenny’s illegitimate son, right? . . . Absolutely unmistakable.’ 

***

Levi stumbled into the house with his mother’s tea set and a blank mind. It was easier not to think right now. 

He fumbled for the rusty pan and set it over the fire, letting the water bubble. Then opened the box and pulled out the kettle and cup, threw a handful of tea leaves into the kettle and waited until the water over the fire puffed out steam. He poured the simmering liquid into the kettle and secured the lid, setting up the hourglass. 

The sand trickled down, pulling the minutes with it. Levi watched the movement of each grain, the gentle tendrils of steam escaping from the spout of the tea pot, felt the warmth on his face. 

He wasn’t falling apart, he told himself. 

You already did, long ago. 

The whispers were cut short before they could rise as the last of the sand tumbled down. Tea was ready. 

He poured the amber into the cup and looked up. His mother smiled at him, her sweet smile, as she lifted the cup holding it by the handle with her little finger sticking out. ‘One day you’ll learn how to hold it just right.’ 

He blinked and she was gone. He blinked again, and his vision blurred and eyes burned. 

Levi grabbed the cup, remembering how she did it, and raised it to his lips. Before he could even take a sip, the handle broke and the cup crashed to the floor sloshing the tea and shattering to pieces. 

His mother’s memory cracked into a million fragments, begging to be forgotten. A scream wrenched out of his throat, laced with sobs. Porcelain was dispersed on the ground, and each piece pierced him worse than the pain from the fight. 

Ma’s gone.

Kenny's gone.

The cup’s gone. 

I killed some people. 

I killed—

And suddenly the broken pieces on the floor were bones and limbs, his hands were stark red, his fingers echoed with the impact of each scream and crunch of each wound. He jumped to his feet as bile rose in his throat. Slapping a hand over his mouth, he rushed out and staggered over dirt and stone and tripped on his knees and—

Greenish-yellow fluid gushed out and splattered beneath him. His guts twisted in on themselves as his insides squeezed out more and more of that stuff. Scenes from a while ago now played sharp in his mind, as if his body was responding just now. He panted, trembling uncontrollably. 

His hands had held them, attacked and hurt them, made them bleed and—by the skies, his hands had killed them. He had taken a life. He could feel the hot blood, the ripped wet skin an—

He retched, throwing up once more. His body shook with exertion. Tears and puke and cries mingled with each other as Levi struggled to breathe. He lay on the street, as a huddled, jumbled mass of agony, exhaustion and a raw longing.

And perhaps death would be kinder. 

[lumienyx]

Was it?

[heliocentricsunflower]

levihan chilling in hange's office; hange gets up, flops on top of levi, and hugs him; he hugs them back, also patting their head

[1ntrvrt-shdw]

my boi is sad he needs a hug

[starrylevi]

Levi seeks your comfort after his encounter with Kenny

Quick drabble. Just something I wanted to get out for some reason. I hope it makes sense. Didn’t really proof read it. 

*

“Oh my God, Levi, are you okay?” You swing open the door, eyes wide, cupping his face with your hands, looking him over and physically tense at the sight of blood leaking from a wound on his forehead.

Levi looks more angry than hurt, his teeth grinding against each other, and those usual cloudy eyes almost seem black to you.

“I’m fine. It’s just a small cut.” He speaks. Though he looks angry, his tone is low and even as he covers one of your hands with his own. You feel the rough callouses, brought on by years of fighting, brushing against your knuckles. He doesn’t look at you as he brings your hand down with his as he leads you inside.

You follow him in, surprised, as he holds onto you.

“The door, Levi.” You remind him.

“Close it”. It’s not a command. He stands still as you shut it. His hand slips back into yours with ease.

He continues to walk, and you realize he’s leading you into the bathroom. You let him. He twists the knob on the shower head, then holds a couple of fingers under the running water, testing its temperature. Once he deems it acceptable, he strips down. You do the same. Soon all you have to remove is your shirt. Levi stops you before you do. He doesn’t take off your shirt the way he took his clothes off. He takes it off with care, slowly and carefully, making sure the fabric doesn’t drag against your face as he gets your head through the hole.

“In.” He gestures to the running shower. You do as he says and leave space for him to enter. He stands directly under the running water, facing you, letting it flatten his hair. It’s silent between you two, save for the droplets of water hitting the tub. His head is down and you give him a few more seconds before cupping his face like before, bringing his head up so his eyes are meeting yours. You watch as water cascades down his face, his eyes are barely open, but he doesn’t seem to want to close them, his gaze is set on you.

“Come closer.” You say softly and he obliges, moving forward, slowly wrapping his arms around your bare waist. He’s not directly under the water anymore. Your faces are a few inches away from each other and your hands leave his face, and slick back his hair so you can see him clearly, your hands lingering around the base of his neck. You marvel at the sight before you, his pupils have shrunk from its previous large size, giving way to the steel gray color you’re familiar with. Though he has some spots of dirt and grime on him, his porcelain skin remains largely untouched. He’s beautiful, but he’s clearly in pain.

“What happened, my love?” You ask in a whisper. He might answer you, he might not. You know it’s hard for him to express his feelings, but he had recently become more comfortable with the idea, once you had told him that it was okay, that he was safe with you.

Levi briefly closes his eyes as a small sigh escapes him. “Kenny.”

Kenny? You know the history between him and Levi. It hasn’t been the best relationship, to say the least. Kenny wasn’t exactly a father figure. Sure, he helped Levi survive but then...then he left. And Levi, still young and impressionable, blamed it on himself. You knew it had only supported his core belief that he wasn’t good enough to have the people he loved stay. For some reason the universe deemed him unlovable and unworthy. It broke your heart when he first told you about this, and it continues to break your heart now. He hasn’t seen Kenny in, what, years? What was he doing here? You don’t let your surprise show, you just nod. “What about Kenny?”

“He, “Levi pauses.

You don’t say anything, you wait patiently for him to finish. He quickly lets out an exasperated sigh. “He’s back and he tried to kill me.” Levi must have felt your whole body tense up because he immediately follows up with ”Oi, I’m fine. He can’t touch me.”

You blink rapidly, taking in the information. “I-I know. I know you can take care of yourself…but that doesn’t stop me from worrying about you.”

Levi’s eyes soften at your statement. He stares at you, seeming as if he’s unsure how to respond to you. His unwavering gaze paired with the silence makes you nervous. “I’m sorry, I- “

“Thank you.” He gets out.

Your response is to pull him closer, wrapping your arms around his neck, your head resting in the crook of his neck and his arms around your waist grip you tighter.

“I’ll get him first.” He whispers, his warm breath tickling your ear.

“You will.”

[kotarh]

в последние дни я слишком много вспоминаю и думаю про "атаку титанов", и вот парочка моих хэдканонов о персонажах после финала, потому что я не могу выбросить это из головы

Армин

несмотря на назначение, полученное прямо от Ханджи, несмотря на то, что фактически выступал главнокомандующим в финальном сражении, он не считает себя в праве называться командором. да и какой уж разведкорпус, от него осталось даже меньше, чем после битвы за Шиганшину, а это было 9 человек. нет, Армин кто угодно, но не 15-й командор разведки

однако титул или же его отсутствие сути не меняет. однажды он обращается как будто к Леви, но на самом деле в пустоту: "капитан, вам не кажется, что наши павшие товарищи смотрят на нас?" - произнося нечто среднее между финальными словари Эрвина и Ханджи (у Леви чуть не случается инсульт из-за этого совпадения)

от вины выжившего Армин начал страдать где-то со времён атаки на Трост, когда из всего его отряда выжил только он, поскольку Эрен буквально вытащил его из пасти титана. смерть Эрвина усилила это в несколько раз, однако в постканоне всё ухудшилось до колоссальных размеров. чувство вины Армина резонирует с его перфекционизмом и заставляет стремиться исправить всё, что только возможно, поэтому в постканоне он буквально не существует вне "работы"

и где-то в процессе он подцепляет зависимость от кофе. он узнал в нём по "приятному запаху" тот напиток, кружки с остатками которого нашёл у стены перед сражением в Шиганшине

иногда он курит, но не потому что ему это нравится или приносит облегчение. наоборот, сигаретный дым неприятно жжёт изнутри, играя на птср от встречи с Бертольдом. но Армин думает, что эта боль - всего лишь маленькая частичка того, что он заслужил на самом деле, и поэтому продолжает этим заниматься

они с Энни так и не начали встречаться. в первые недели было просто не до выяснения отношений, даже если они и краснели очень неловко при каждом пересечении взглядами. а потом, с течением времени, пока они взаимодействовали друг с другом, образ, созданный за годы общения с кристаллом, разрушился, явив настоящего человека под ним: Энни оказалась не совсем той же, какой себе представлял её Армин, и сам он не совпал с нарисованным Энни портретом. где-то через полгода с финального сражения между ними случился короткий разговор, расставивший все точки над i. трепетное чувство влюблённости исчезло. остался эмпатичный осадок, поэтому они смогли замять так и не озвученные толком чувства и остаться хорошими коллегами. но не друзьями

Жан

если Армин злоупотребляет кофе и - изредка - сигаретами, то Жан - алкоголем. особенно активно в первые два года, едва не дойдя до критической точки. однако он вовремя опомнился. поездка на Парадиз стала большим искушением вернуться к старой привычке. и всё же Жан старается держать себя в руках. помогает постоянное напоминание самому себе, к чему в итоге привела любовь Пиксиса к выпивке

через год с итоговой битвы он набрался смелости в открытую начать оказывать Микасе знаки внимания. она честно и искренне приняла его ухаживания, посчитав, что успела немного оправиться от смерти Эрена и ей пришла пора двигаться дальше. Микаса ошиблась. это ни к чему не привело. Жан почувствовал первым, что они зашли в тупик. они расстались, не провстречавшись и полгода. эти месяцы были очень странными, даже хуже, чем у Армин и Энни. все, не только сами Микаса и Жан, договорились никогда не упоминать этот период

когда поездка на Парадиз начала приближаться и развернулось активное планирование деталей, Жан сблизился с Пик. к моменту отплытия на корабле между ними уже завязалась около-романтическая взаимная симпатия, однако форму она обрела значительно позже

порой Жану тяжело смотреть на Габи. в другие дни он избегает Энни и Райнера. он не испытывает к ним жгучей ненависти, однако иногда это всё ещё... тяжело

именно он занимается перепиской с Хисторией. они с Конни собираются в определённые вечера и перечитывают её ответы, вспоминая оставленные на Парадизе семьи

Леви

его долг, его последнее обещание исполнены. больше его ничего не держит рядом с этими детьми. но из всех людей они - самое близкое, что осталось от разведкорпуса, где он провёл столько лет. для Леви они всё те же бестолковые новобранцы, но у них на спине - крылья свободы. подрезанные, общипанные и практически переломанные - но они есть. крылья, намёка на которые не было в последующих наборах. и Леви не хочет отпускать воспоминания ни о своём отряде, вырезанном Энни, ни об Эрвине, ни о Ханджи. поэтому он остаётся рядом, но держится на расстоянии

даже если в некоторые моменты всё, что он может испытывать к тому же Армину - это презрение. Леви держится рядом

Энни он почти всегда игнорирует - если только они не посреди обсуждения чего-то важного. Райнера же - в половине случаев

когда начинаются разговоры о поездке на Парадиз, Леви сразу заявляет, что его участия в этом цирке можно не ждать. на остров он никогда больше не вернётся. а ко времени отправления корабля вообще будет на противоположном конце света вместе с Оньянкопоном, Габи и Фалько. он осядет в этом месте на пару лет

(дети будут слать письма. Леви не ответит ни на одно (Габи и Фалько будут отлично справляться своими силами с этой задачей), но он будет складывать в специально приоретённую для этого шкатулку)

((чаще всего писать будет Жан - но этот всегда был охотлив до разговоров, что лично, что в переписке. его послания будут занимать максимум полностью исписанный один лист, но они будут приходить стабильно раз в месяц. меньше всего писать, как ни странно, будет Армин. от него будут приходить лишь открытки, где адрес отправления длиннее оставленного сообщения))

на самом деле шрамы и коляска совершенно не беспокоят Леви, реакция на них незнакомцев утомляет, но порой она доставляет ему мрачное удовольствие

спустя какое-то время у него упадёт зрение, но Леви будет отказываться носить очки на постоянной основе, будет надевать лишь во время чтения - писем и открыток. книги не представляют для него большого интереса. те же, что описывают мир или рассказывают о приключениях и эпичных битвах, для него не существуют вообще

[fallinginlove030512]

Stoic men who have soft spots>>>>

Starting with the one and only. This man is labeled as having no emotions but he is the most emotional in the entire series can’t convince me otherwise.

Literally the definition of stoic with a soft spot. He hits all the boxes. He would lay his life down for the ones he loves. *chefs kiss* master piece of a character.

No matter what I talk about I will ALWAYS find a way to bring this man into the conversation. He is literally the non biological dad troupe.

Let’s be honest here. A good hug, a small forehead kiss, just looking into his eyes and saying “it’s okay.” And this man would dedicate his life to you.

Do I even need to explain?