#lettin them be kids forever n ever

[broareweabouttoviberightnow]

"We need cash." Two, Soda, Steve, Dallas, Pony, 'n Johnny crowd the living room in a loose circle like mourners at a funeral. Between them, the shattered, stacked, 'n swept together corpse of what had once been their TV.

"We? Ain't my fault it's broken." Dallas kicks at a shard of glass 'n Pony narrows his eyes at him. "Blame it on the kid 'n call it a night."

"Hey!" Pony stomps a foot before he can catch himself, crosses his arms. "It wasn't me!"

Steve scoffs, rolls his eyes. Pony's face darkens murderously. "Was too."

"No, it was not! You were the one who fuckin' threw me!" Soda 'n Two's eyes ping pong back 'n fourth between the two of them.

"Did not! 'N if I did it was only 'cause you started the fight."

"Bullshit!" Pony's voice hits a shrill high note 'n Steve smirks at him, self-satisfied. "I only started it 'cause you were fuckin' callin' me names you asshole."

"Well, I wouldn't have been callin' you names if you hadn't been actin' like a brat." Pony lets out an indignant wail 'n Soda has to fly across the group to snag him by the waist so he doesn't start right back up again.

"Ok, ok. Enough you two." Pony writhes around like a fish on a hook for another moment before Soda jabs him in the ribs 'n he howls but stops fightin'. "This isn't solvin' our problems."

"I don't see how this is an us problem." Dallas tries again, hooks an arm around Johnny's shoulder 'n pulls him close. "I just got here, Johnny wasn't involved, 'n neither was Two. Soda bites the bullet for not stoppin' 'em 'n Darry can string the idiots up as he so pleases. What's the problem?"

Steve 'n Pony both turn on him, united for the first time that afternoon, fingers pointed 'n accusin'. "'Cause Two was bettin' on us-"

"Hey! Look, all's fair 'n love 'n war or whatever they say. Nobody asked ya to start rumblin' in the livin' room of all places."

"Yeah, 'n Darry'll love to hear that." Steve grabs his hip, wags a finger in a pretty damn passin' imitation of Darry. "Two-Bit Mathews you're how old now? Glory God almighty when are you gonna get any sense- OW!" Steve hollers at the comic Two's rolled up 'n thumped him over the head with.

"Ok, Ok fine. But I wasn't fuckin' bettin' against myself!" Two glares pointedly at Soda who rocks back 'n forth on his heels, suddenly findin' the floor real interestin'.

"Soda!" Steve stops nursin' his head to glare at Soda with wide eyes.

"Hey! Look! I'm sorry!" He blinks, tries his best tip-earnin' grin. "It was all on you, Stevie."

"SODA!" Pony whips on him quick as quick, quiverin' with as much indignance 'n outrage a fourteen-year-old can manage. Soda swallows back a snort, grabs Pony's face in his hands. "I'm sorry-"

"Well. Tough shit for y'all. But I don't see what this has to do with me or Johnny 'n I'm of the mind to beat it before Darry gets home 'n raises hell."

"Uh, Dal." Johnny clears his throat 'n tries to ignore the pointed stares of the rest of the gang hot on his face, runs a hand up the back of his neck, blows out a long breath. "IhadfiftycentsonPonyboy."

"Johnny!" Dallas drops him but doesn't sound half as annoyed as he does impressed.

"Well at least someone was in my corner-" Pony shoots Soda an aggravated glance 'n Soda throws his hands up placatingly.

"Yeah, speakin' of which." Two whips his hand out, palm up, 'n makes a grabbin' motion. Both Soda 'n Johnny huff but reach in their pockets 'n pull out quarters, dumpin' into Two's waitin' hands. He hoots his laughter 'n shoves the dollars' worth of change into his pants.

"Wait, who were you bettin' on Two?" Steve crosses his arms at the same time Pony plunks his hands on his hips, both glarin' accusingly.

"Me? I wasn't playin' for neither of ya! I bet y'all were gonna break somethin'!" Two cracks himself up, howlin'. It doesn't last for long 'n Pony 'n Steve turn succinctly on him, draggin' him down to the floor 'n landin' jabs wherever they can reach.

"Good lord. Well, y'all have fun with that one. I'm peelin' outta here."

"Oh no you don't." Soda catches one hand deftly in the collar of Dallas' jacket as he turns to leave, hefts him back. "You even think about wormin' outta this I'll tell Darry about that time you smoked all that pot 'n threw up 'n I had to carry a bowl a soup down to Buck's for your scrawny ass."

"Yeah, or that time you got picked up for shopliftin' 'n when the cops called I picked up the phone 'n never told Dar." Steve pauses in his onslaught of Two-Bit to throw his hat in the ring. The moment he's not focused Two wriggles out, flips him easily onto his back.

"Or that one time with Tim-"

"OK. Goddamn! No wonder Darry's goin' grey. Y'all are enough to send a man to an early grave." Dallas scowls 'n throw his hands up, shakin' Soda off. "So what now?"

"Now we need cash." Two says plaintively 'n they all stare down at the wreckage again.

"Ok. Thanks, genius." Steve rolls his eyes, clambers back to his feet, offers Pony his hand 'n hauls him up. "What are we lookin' at here? Like what? Twenty bucks?"

"Twenty bucks? Steve, what world do you live on where a TV is twenty goddamn bucks?" Dallas toes at the the box 'n it sparks. "Jesus Christ, none of you unplugged it? Hurry up 'n yank the plug out before we gotta by Dar a new house too."

Both Soda 'n Johnny dive for the cord 'n Johnny pulls up at the last second so they don't crack their heads together.

"So what, like fifty?" Pony 'n Soda exchange a glance, avert their eyes.

"Uh, try more like eighty, man." Soda plops down on his ass, looks desolately at the hunk of plastic 'n glass again.

"EIGHTY? Guys. We're dead. More than dead. Dar's gonna kill us, bury us, 'n then dig us back up again." Steve chews at his thumbnail, paces quick back 'n forth.

"Naw, Steve. Be realistic." Two grins, stuffs his hands into his pockets. "He'd never go through all that work for us. I think just killin' us the first time around'll do it."

Pony groans, presses both his palms into his eyes 'n collapses back into the armchair. "Not funny, Two."

"Aw, not even a lil-" He's cut off by the throw pillow Steve beams at his head, hittin' him square in the face.

"Man focus. We got cash, right?" Dallas refocuses the room, looks at them each in turn. The silence is answer enough, the celin', floor, 'n walls becomin' real fascinatin'. "Man, y'all've got to be jokin'. Steve, don't you have some money from the DX or your da put away?"

"Uh, well, no. Not really. Kinda, uh, lost it. All." He twiddles the bottom of his vest between his fingers, refuses to look up.

"Whatta ya mean lost it?"

"Look you lose one goddamn drag 'n suddenly everyone's crawlin' up your ass! How was I supposed to know that? 'N hey, what about you, Two? I don't hear you offerin' anythin' up."

"Ha! What money? I didn't have anythin' to start with don't look at me. Ask Soda, he's employed."

Soda throws his hands up guiltily. "Don't look over here. I got six bucks to my good name."

"Yeah, good 'n broke-" Soda pulls a face 'n kicks Dallas hard in the shin before he can duck outta the way.

"Where'd your paycheck go, Soda?" Johnny prods at him with his foot 'n Soda playfully catches it, yanks at him.

"Hey, I keep the lights on in this place!"

"And the rest of it?" Johnny pulls back 'n, when he realizes Soda ain't lettin' up, reaches down to jab at the ticklish spot on Soda's ribs.

"What? A man can't be afforded a lil' fun?" Soda yowls 'n drops his foot, wrigglin' backwards to get away. "How was I supposed to know a guitar was twenty-five bucks?"

"Soda!" Pony's jaw drops open. "You can't even play!"

"Hey! Yet! Gimme some credit! Plus I don't wanna hear anythin' from mister no job over there." Soda crosses his arms dramatically but he's grinnin' the whole way 'n all of them know he doesn't mean it.

"That ain't fair! Darry won't let me get a job. 'Course I don't got no goddamn money. Look at Dal. He's got a job!"

"First of all, I didn't even break the fuckin' TV. Second of all, how much money I got is none of your damn business." Dallas scowls, turns his nose up. Steve groans, drops down to the couch with his head in his hands.

"God so we're all broke."

"Hey-!"

"Shut up, Dal." Two cuts him off 'n Dallas' shifts his glare, damn near murderous. "Johnny Cakes?" He tries, weakly hopeful.

"Uh, I got three bucks." Soda quirks an eyebrow up 'n Johnny plops his hands on his hips.

"Where did you-"

"Ya gonna ask questions or are ya gonna take it?" Soda studies him for a moment, arms crossed still 'n doin' a cartoonish impression of a fussin' hen.

"Boys, we got a real hood among us here today." He hoots 'n Johnny kicks him in the hip, both of them still howlin'. "So that brings us up to, what?"

"Uh, nine bucks. Ten if someone can wrestle that change outta Two's pocket." Pony leans forward, elbows on his knees, 'n sizes Two up like he stood even a single chance.

"Man. I want lillies at my funeral. Can I put that out there? Should we do last rites now or-"

"Aw, hush up, Steve. Look, we just gotta scrape together a little money before Dar gets back. We can get, uh, what was it?" Soda frowns, counts absently on his fingers.

"Seventy more bucks." Pony dead pans 'n Soda's self-assured smile wavers a bit.

"C'mon, that's nothin'! We just gotta put our heads together." Soda climbs to his feet, rubs his hands together in thought. "How do we get our hands on some quick cash?"

Dallas 'n Two open their mouths 'n Soda throws out an accusin' finger to each of them. "'N nobody's doin' nothin' illegal 'cause if Dar has to pick one of us from the station before he comes home to no TV he's gonna start inventin' cruel 'n unusual punishments, y'hear?"

Dallas rolls his eyes 'n mutters 'n Two nods absently in agreement but they both don't offer any other ideas. "Anythin' else?"

"Uh, pawn shop?" Pony offers.

"Yeah, great idea, Pone. Anyone have any expensive jewelry they've been keepin' back?" Steve drawls, dryly, apparently resigned to his fate.

"Well, it ain't mine but I got, uh, a Singer we could sell." Dallas leans back in the doorway, waits for the onslaught of questions. They don't disappoint.

"A Singer? Dal, you've been watchin' me hafta hand hem 'n you had a Singer?" Soda howls, goes to kick him in the shin again but Dallas is prepared this time 'n dodges it.

"Where the hell did you get a Singer-?"

"Why-?"

"Look! It was Sylvie's, right? When I kicked her out she didn't get the chance to take it or nothin'. It ain't mine." He throws his hands up defensively, eyes Soda still standin' close enough to wallop him if he decided to. Soda glares back like he's still makin' up his mind about goin' for round two.

"Aw, man. We can't pawn off Sylvie's stuff." Johnny backs outta the way as Soda decides to give it another go 'n jabs at Dallas. "She mighta been a lil' mean but she don't deserve to have her shit sold off."

"The bitch- Soda get offa me- two-timed me? Remember?" Dallas knocks Soda's hands deftly away 'n Soda sneaks in on more solid kick before retreatin'.

"Oh, yeah." Johnny rocks back 'n forth on his heels, still clearly uncomfortable with the whole idea.

"Maybe Soda 'n Steve could pick up some extra shifts for a bit?" Pony tries again, clearly not as willin' as Steve to lie down 'n take his medicine.

"Yeah, another winner, Pone. 'N when Darry comes home to no TV tonight?" Steve scowls at him 'n Pony glares back, the two still dangerously close to another all-out scrap.

"Well, at least I'm comin' up with somethin'."

"Doesn't help if it's all stupid-"

"Alright you two, knock it off. We can't afford to have to buy anythin' else y'all broke 'cause y'all can't keep your traps shut." Two cuts in 'n they both round on him, glarin'.

"Look who's talkin'!" Steve mutters 'n Two grins 'n flips him off.

The laughter 'n bickerin' trail off, lapsin' into silence again. Each lookin' guiltily at the disaster, eyein' each other. "Well, uh, is anyone not above beggin'?" No one says anythin' 'n Two clicks his teeth, nods. "Yeah, didn't think so."

"Hey, guys." Six heads turn to look at Pony, suddenly ashen 'n lookin' past them up at the clock in the kitchen. "Is this a bad time to tell y'all Dar told me to tell y'all he'd be home early this afternoon?"

"Pony." Steve flies to his feet, grabs Pony by his shoulders. "How early?"

Somehow, Pony manages to pale even further. "Uh. In like. An hour?"

As if it had heard, the TV hisses, flashes, lets out one final death rattle 'n falls silent so it's just the seven of them, eyein' each other like men at the gallows.

"Dallas?" Johnny gives himself a shake, grabs his jacket from the back of the sofa.

"Yeah, man?"

"Let's get your girlfriend's stuff."

[drabbles-mc]

No Compromises

EZ Reyes x Reader

Request by @appropriate-writers-name:  Ez and the reader have been together for like a year and then some, and everything is going great. He overhears her and Letty talking, and learns that the reader doesn't want to get married or have kids in the future. Later that day Ez brings it up, and because those are his goals, hearing that she doesn't share them definitely hurts him. She explains that she doesn't really care about a piece of paper and a party to decide that she wants to be with someone forever, but if he wants to get married she'd be down for it. The same goes for kids, like she never really wanted them in the past, but if he wanted kids she wouldn't mind it either. Obvi that's not gonna sit right with Ez, so he breaks up with her because they want different things in life, and she tries to convince him that because she wants him, she wants everything he wants. Pretty much the scene is Ez breaking up with her, and her begging him not to leave, but he does it anyone for both of their benefit (he doesn't want her to resent the choices she made just for him).

Warnings: angst....so much angst

Word Count: 2k

A/N: damn guys this was heartbreaking to write. But as someone who has had to break off a relationship because I didn’t want kids and my partner did, this was strangely cathartic to write haha. I’d say enjoy but it’s a heartbreaker

EZ Taglist: @ly--canthrope​ @noz4a2​ @queenbeered​ @sincerelyasomebody​ @sadeyesgf​ @thesandbeneathmytoes​ @tomhardydallasstarsgirl​ @multiyfandomgirl40​ @sillygoose6969​ @louisianalady​ @gemini0410​ @paintballkid711​ @chibsytelford​ @yourwonkywriter​ @sesamepancakes​

“So,” Letty was sitting across from you at your kitchen counter, “You think that EZ is gonna pop the question any time soon?” there was a mischievous smile on her face.

You chuckled, rolling your eyes, “We haven’t really talked about it.”

“What? Why not?”

Between your conversation, and the television going in the background, neither of you heard EZ open the front door and walk inside the house. He lingered just out of sight, wanting to hear how the conversation played out. He held his breath, anxious about what was going to happen next.

You shrugged, “Don’t know, neither of us have brought it up I guess.”

Letty leaned forward onto the counter, clearly curious, “But c’mon, you totally wanna marry him, right?”

“I’ve never really been a big wedding and marriage person,” you sighed, “Like, what does my relationship have to do with all these other people, you know?”

She shook her head, “You’re so weird. But alright, no wedding. You still love him though, right?”

You laughed, nodding, “Of course. I just don’t think that a marriage really has anything to do with that fact. Like, if we’re together forever then we’re together forever. A signed certificate has nothing to do with how much I love someone.”

She gave a slight shrug, “That’s fair I guess. You guys at least talked about kids, right?”

You chuckled, “What are you, my relationship counselor?”

“Is that a no?”

“Kids are always such a touchy topic.”

“Uh, yea,” she laughed, “’cause you can’t fuckin’ compromise on a baby. That’s an all or nothing type of deal,” she searched your face for a few moments, “You don’t want kids, do you?”

You sigh, “Honestly? No. Like, I love kids and everything but whenever I’ve pictured my future, I’ve never been a mom.”

“Really?”

You nod, “Really.”

“Well, not to rain on your parade, but have you seen your boyfriend around babies? Around his niece? That guy is gonna catch baby fever soon if he hasn’t already.”

You sigh, pressing your lips together into a thin line. It had definitely crossed your mind over the course of your relationship that EZ seemed like he would make an amazing father. The fact that he had never brought up having children in the future made you think that maybe he didn’t want them, but now you were thinking that maybe he didn’t bring it up because he just assumed that you would want a family.

“Sorry,” there was an awkward smile on her face, “didn’t mean to totally kill the mood here.”

You chuckled, not sure what else there was to say about any of it. She’d certainly given you a lot to think about. You tried to change topics, and Letty went along with it for the sake of your sanity. Once the conversation had shifted, and EZ had taken a couple moments to try and pull himself together mentally after what he had just heard, he opened and closed the door a little louder than before so the two of you would hear him.

“You keep lettin’ this trouble roll in here?” he smiled back and forth between the two of you.

“Don’t worry, Zeke,” Letty laughed as she hopped off the stool, “I was just heading out.”

“I’ll see you,” she gave you a quick hug.

You smiled, nodding, “Thanks for stopping over. Be safe.”

EZ pulled her into a quick hug as she tried to walk out, “Stay outta trouble.”

She laughed, shaking her head, “No promises!”

Once she was out the door, EZ walked over to you, wrapping you in a tight hug. You leaned into him, arms wrapping around his torso. He kissed the top of your head, refusing to let you go. He lightly traced his hand up and down your back.

“You okay?” you asked, cheek still pressed up against his kutte.

“Yea,” he squeezed you a little tighter for a moment, “I’m okay.”

The two of you stayed in the kitchen tangled up like that for a few minutes. You wondered if something had happened with the club that put EZ a little more into his head and his feelings. He was always affectionate but this embrace felt different—it felt heavier somehow.

Finally he pulled back, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead, “What’s the plan for dinner?”

“You’ll find out when it’s time to eat,” you chuckled, “Go change and relax. I’ll let you know when it’s done.”

He walked away, lingering for a moment before turning the corner to go to your room. He looked at you, feeling a weight coming down on his chest as he thought about the woman who was standing in front of him, and all the things that he had just heard you say. He sighed, shaking his head slightly as he walked off to change.

Once dinner was done, and the dishes were cleaned and put away, you and EZ found yourselves lying together on the couch. You put on a random show for background noise while you laid against his chest, scrolling on your phone. You felt the slow rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. He gently rested his hand on the nape of your neck. You glanced up at him to see that he wasn’t really watching the TV, or focusing on anything else. He was staring off into space, deep in thought.

“Hey,” you saw up slightly so that you could get a better look at him, “What’s wrong? You’ve been out of it all night.”

He shook his head with a small sigh, “Nothing’s wrong.”

“Don’t lie to me, please,” your voice was soft, “What’s going on?”

There was a long stretch of silence between the two of you, and you thought for a moment that he was just going to ignore what you were asking him, but he finally spoke up, “I heard you talking to Letty earlier.”

Your body froze for a moment, “Oh…”

He forced himself to meet your eyes and you could see the pain on his face, “Why didn’t you ever mention any of that?”

“I…I don’t know,” you twisted your hands in your lap, “I guess I was just trying to avoid the conversation.”

“It’s a pretty important conversation, Y/N.”

“I know,” deep down, you knew that you avoided the conversation because you knew that you and EZ didn’t see eye-to-eye on it. You didn’t want to ruin a good thing.

“You really don’t want to get married?”

“What’s the government got to do with my relationship? I love you, why isn’t that enough?”

“It’s not about it being enough, don’t say it like that.”

“I just, the thought of a whole big wedding and everything seems a little excessive and unnecessary to me. And expensive,” you shrugged, “It’s just never been a priority for me I guess. But, look, if it really matters that much to you, I’ll do the wedding thing,” you took his hands in yours, “I just want to be with you. If one day like that is what it takes to be with you for my whole life, then I’ll do it.”

His heart felt heavy inside his chest, “You don’t want kids?”

The look on his face made tears spring into your eyes. You hated seeing him this torn up, and this time around it was because of you. You sighed, shaking your head, “Like I said, I just never pictured myself as a mom. I never had that strong maternal drive built into me,” you paused, “You really want kids, don’t you?”

He nodded, “Yea. Always have. Whenever I pictured my future, there were always kids in it. It was always a family.”

“Kids don’t make a family.”

“For me they do,” he wasn’t loud but his tone was harsher than you were used to.

There were a few minutes of silence as the two of you sat there, mulling over everything that had just been said. You could see it on EZ’s face that his brain was racing at a million miles a minute. Things had been going so well with the two of you for so long, you didn’t want it to come crashing down around you like this.

“Hey,” you gave his hands a light squeeze, “look, I…I didn’t know that kids were this big of a deal for you. It’s not like I hate kids or anything. I just never really thought that I’d end up being a mom. But if a family is something that you really want, we could do it.”

He let out a laugh but it was hollow, “Kids aren’t something that you just have, Y/N. I can’t…I can’t ask you to give up everything that you want just to be with me.”

“That’s not what you’re asking.”

“It is, though,” he looked at you, tears in his eyes as he took his hands out from underneath yours, “I can’t do that. I can’t go through life knowing that I made you give up the things that you wanted just because you wanted to make me happy.”

“I’m not giving up anything,” you felt your heart pounding inside your chest, “I want you, I want us. Whatever it takes to make us work, I’ll do that.”

He shook his head, “Doesn’t work that way. You bend on this now, Y/N, and you won’t forgive yourself for it. Or me.”

“Don’t do this, EZ,” you knew where this was going, and you didn’t want it to end that way, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, but that doesn’t change the fact that we want different things.”

“We can do this,” you reached forward to try and take his hands in yours.

He stood up off the couch, shaking his head, “I don’t think we can.”

“What does that mean?”

He pressed his lips together for a moment, “We both know what it means.”

“Please,” you stood up and walked over to him, cupping his face in your hands, “Don’t do this. I can’t lose you.”

He rested his hands over yours, “We can’t pretend that this is gonna work, Y/N. We decide to keep doing this and down the road we’ll both end up miserable.”

“I don’t want my life to not have you in it, EZ,” tears were rolling down your cheeks.

“You’re gonna be alright,” there was a small smile on his face despite the tears in his eyes, “You deserve to have the exact life that you want,” he pressed a soft kiss into your palm as a tear rolled down his cheek, “and you can’t have that with me.”

“Don’t go, EZ,” your lips trembled as you fought the urge to sob, “Please don’t go.”

He pulled you into a hug, resting his hand on the back of your head as you cried into his chest, “I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he kissed the top of your head as he took a deep breath to try and keep himself composed, “I’m so sorry.”

You wrapped your arms tight around him, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” after a few moments he pulled away from you, brushing the tears off of your face, “You’re gonna be alright,” he did his best to manage a smile and a laugh, “when have you ever needed a man to get by?”

You smiled through the pain in your chest, “I’ve all the men I’ve never needed, you’re the one I wanted more than anything.”

“I know.”

“This sucks, Ezekiel,” your voice was quiet.

He nodded slowly, “I know.”

“You think we could ever be friends?” the last thing you wanted was for him to disappear out of your life.

“Maybe someday, down the road,” his heart felt too heavy to think about things like that. It was hard to picture you as anything other than the love of his life. He shook his head, clearing his throat, “I should…I should go.”

You bit back a sob as you nodded, “Okay.”

You could see it in his body language that he was fighting the urge to hold you, “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“Yea, me too,” you wiped the tears away as they fell, “I hope you find what you need, EZ. You deserve that.”

He nodded, “So do you,” he took a deep breath and tried to collect himself as he walked towards the door, “Goodnight, Y/N.”

It hurt a little less than saying goodbye, “Goodnight, Ezekiel.”

[heywritersblock]

rest well: JJK

the bts boys are finally getting their well earned break! #restwellBTS

here’s a couple of different scenarios of what jeongguk might get up to at home with y/n.

pairing: jeongguk x reader

rating: T

~3000 words

“What’re you watching?”

“Dunno.”

“Okay. How long have you been watching it?”

Jeongguk fishes his phone out from where he’s somehow laid on it and taps the screen until it lights up.

“Uh, maybe like, three hours? Three and a half maybe.”

“And you still don’t know what you’re watching?”

“Not a clue.”

“Okay baby. Are you having fun?”

“Fuck yeah I am. Grab some snacks and come and join me,” he says, making grabby hands at you over the back of the couch.

*

“Jeongguk? ‘M home.”

“In the bathroom!”

You kick off the uncomfortable shoes you’d been wearing all day and leave them in a pile by the door, making a mental note to tidy them up later.

As you move through the apartment, you slowly shed the signs of your work uniform until you’re stood in front of your dresser in your bedroom. Grabbing one of Jeongguk’s t-shirts from his side of the drawers, you let it fall over your shoulders and sigh at the feeling: of being home, of being in your little haven, of being in your favourite person’s shirt.

A voice calling your name grabs your attention and you immediately respond.

“You good, baby?”

“Yeah! Come find me!”

The treasure hunt wasn’t hard.

“Hi you- woah.” You stand in the doorway with your hand still braced against the door handle. The scene in front of you was quite a sight to behold. “Wow. Look at you,” you say softly, unable to dampen the smile that’s taken hold of your lips.

A giggle from Jeongguk makes your heart skip a beat (it often happens, let’s be honest) and he says, “Hi baby. Close the door. You’re lettin’ the cold in.”

Following his instruction, you shuffle further into the bathroom, pushing the door closed until it clicks. “So, how’s your day been?” you smile.

“It’s been awesome.”

“Yeah? Do anything fun?”

“You know, ran a little, saw some bunnies in the park down the street. Ran a bath.”

“Yeah, you ran a bath!” you tease, taking a seat on the closed toilet seat next to where Jeongguk is currently lazing in the bathtub. “I’ve never seen as much foam in my life!” you laugh.

His laugh rings out loudly in the warm bathroom. “Hmm, I didn’t really know how to use it - you know - one of those bath things you like to use. The ones that make the bath all bubbly and smell super good.”

“A bath bomb.”

“That’s what it’s called? I had to google how to use it but I couldn’t think of the name. I threw it all in here and it smelled so good so I might have put another two or three in,” he grins sheepishly, knowing full well you’re not going to berate him for wasting your bath bombs but at least having the decency to look like he’s sorry.

“Oh really? Well I think that’s the only way to experience your first bath in this apartment.” “Hell yeah. I can’t believe I’ve never had a bath here,” he says softly, sinking down further into the bubbles.

You rest your hand on the bathtub side, skimming your hand through the top surface of bubbles. “You don’t have the time usually,” you remind him quietly.

“Do now though,” he smiles, eyes closing as he rests his head back on the tiled wall.

“Damn straight you do, baby,” you say, smiling wider as his hand grips yours through the bubbles. 

“All the time in the world,” he whispers, squeezing at your hand.

A calm silence fills the room, only filled by the noise of water swishing when Jeongguk moves.

“Go on then,” you break the silence to say. “Which bath bombs did you use? It smells delicious in here.”

“Um- so I put a pink-y purple one in first. It smelled like marshmallows, so obviously I got excited. Then there was one that was like a turquoise colour. It had a label on it that said ‘calm’ so I thought why not? I think that was - oh wait. No, there was definitely one that looked like it had crystals or something on it.” He’s looking at you with those wide eyes, hands gesticulating and accidentally flicking water around the bathroom, but it’s like he’s telling you the most important thing ever. “It like, popped when I put it in the water so I was a little worried but it smelled so good.”

You smile. “Dude.”

“What?” he laughs.

“You’re going to be so stained when you get out of there!”

“What? Is that a thing-?” He lifts up his leg and his brown eyes bulge at the goldish tint to his skin. “I thought baths were supposed to make you clean!”

“You are clean. This is just one of the consequences sometimes. It’ll come off but you might have to shower when you’ve let the water out. We’ll talk about how to clean the bath out later.” He groans and you laugh. “But, how relaxed do you feel right now?”

He settles back, closing his eyes again with a soft smile on his face. “Good point. Totally worth having my body stained gold,” he says.

“Golden baby,” you whisper, adoring the sound of his laugh melting in the heated air.

“Do you know what would make me even more relaxed?” he asks, intertwining your hands again when he finds your fingertips.

“Hmm?” “Hearing your voice. Tell me about your day, baby.”

*

“Hey!”

“Hi you. Want some?” You say, offering a bite of your fruit bowl that’s serving as your breakfast.

“Mmm,” he mumbles, accepting the fruit that’s spiked onto your fork. “Thanks,” he whispers into your ear, pecking the top of your head with a quick kiss as he passes to fill up the water bottle in his hand.

“How was your workout?” you ask, flipping to the next page of the book in front of you, finishing off your sentence before turning your attention to Jeongguk.

“So good. You know when you can feel every muscle in your body? Yeah, that kind of good,” he says, pretending to lunge forward and stretch his muscles further.

“Ew. Personally, I think that sounds horrendous.”

“Nah, feels good. Maybe a massage would help later though if it really starts to hurt,” he says from beside you, looking up through his lashes at you.

“Ha! This is all self inflicted. You bring this pain on yourself!” you point out.

“So no massage?” he asks, still looking up at you and this time even pouting his bottom lip slightly.

“Oh for f- okay. Maybe a massage for you,” you give in. “I’m such a pushover,” you laugh.

“Nah, you just love me. Want me to relax.” He’s nuzzling at your ear now, making you giggle. “Always tellin’ me to relax and now I’m here. Relaxing all over the place. You love it.” He takes the fruit bowl that’s in your hands off you and shoves it onto the counter top where you’re sitting. “You love me,” he whispers.

You’re still giggling at how ridiculous this gorgeous boy is, but you can’t help but nodding. “Love you so much,” you whisper.

“Knew it,” he grins, then, “Love you back. C’mere.” He slides his hand to your cheek and pulls you in for a kiss.

*

“Babe, do you know how to braid hair?”

“JK, I love you but you do know it’s 11:30 at night, right?”

“Well, yeah, but I was just wondering.”

“Aren’t you tired?”

“Not really. Been asleep loads recently. Feel like I’m all energised a lot of the time now.”

Your feeling of frustration slowly disappears as you realise how much comfort Jeongguk’s last statement just brought to you. He’s finally getting the time off he needed.

“Okay then,” you say, rolling over onto your back, propping your pillows up a little behind your head so you can see where Jeongguk is resting against the headboard, phone lighting up his face. “Why’d you want to know if I can braid?”

“I’ve just seen this video on youtube of a dad braiding his daughter’s hair. And I thought, like woah, how cool is that. And also, like, what if I can’t braid hair? I want to learn now so I’ve got time to practise.”

Jesus, this kid. Your heart feels as though it’s two sizes too big for your body and you can’t trust yourself with words just yet so you nod your head at him and smile.

“Do you think you could teach me the basics?” he asks, not waiting for you to respond to his previous comment.

“Course I can.”

“Really?” he watches you sit up further in bed, pulling on the hair tie that’s keeping your hair in a pony tail. “Now?”

“Sure. Do you wanna learn now?”

“Yeah I do! Shit, I love you. Now teach me your ways, sensei.”

*

“Babe, Jin called. Says you’re not answering again.”

“Ah shit, my phone’s on silent. I can’t believe he calls you to tattle on me not answering.” “Right? I told him we were wink wink busy and he screamed. Then told me to get you to ring him back when we’re done,” you laugh, accepting Jeongguk’s high five.

“Amazing,” he whispers, before pulling his phone out of his pocket and selecting Jin’s contact. He takes a seat at the side of you, resting his elbows against the counter and stealing a bite of your cereal as the phone rings.

“Hyung!”

“Jeonggukie! I hope you washed before calling me.”

“What? You’re literally miles away from me right now.”

“Still! I don’t want to be infected with any of your sex germs.”

“Ha! Okay, hyung. Then I’m delighted to tell you that I’m squeaky clean so what’s up?”

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“It’s literally been three days, hyu-”

“I know it’s only been three days but I need to make sure you’re doing well. Fancy lunch tomorrow?”

“Of course, hyung. What time? Usual place?”

“Usual place. Say 12?”

“Ah, can we do a little later?”

“Why? Have other plans more important than me, Jeongukkie?”

“Hyung, don’t be like that! It’s just - you know my neighbour, Mrs Kim? She has this super adorable old dog that she doesn’t have the energy to walk all the time. I’ve kind of volunteered to walk him for her every day at 12.”

Your heart melts a little at Jeongguk’s kindness so you give him a fond nudge to the thigh with your foot, tapping at your heart when you get his attention. He laughs, swatting your foot away but grabbing it just before you can move it, pulling it and then your other to rest on his lap.

“Oh JK, you’re so sweet! A true martyr. No wonder the older ladies love you.”

“Hyung, there’s nothing I’m sacrficing to do it. I like it! It gives me seomthing to do each day and I get to be outside. I love the fresh air and I love the little guy and I like that I’m helping. Win win.”

“Wow. You’re perfect. And I am well qualified to say that because as we know, I am perfect myself.”

“Whatever you say, Jin-hyung. It only takes an hour or so. Meet me at my place at 1?”

“Ah, sounds good. See you tomorrow, JK!”

Jeongguk replies his goodbyes, clunking his phone onto the counter when he’s done and cupping your socked feet with his hands.

“Well, isn’t my boyfriend the sweetest?”

He laughs, pink flushing his cheeks slightly. To hide his shyness, he says, “He is. And handsome. And talented. And-”

“Okay, okay! We get it!” You laugh, kicking your feet off his lap. “Jeez, your head’s gonna be so big it won’t fit through Mrs Kim’s door tomorrow,” you mumble teasingly.

“Not the only thing that’s big,” he winks.

“Oh my god, that was terrible.”

“I know. I can only apologise. Now give me back your legs, they’re keeping me toasty.”

*

“D’you want some tea?”

You’re aware that Jeongguk is standing behind the armchair you’re currently curled up on, but you can’t quite answer him yet. You’re at that part of a book where you’re fully immersed, empathising and experiencing adventures with these characters. You can’t interrupt that with the real world.

Your eyes are racing across the lines on the page, and you feel Jeongguk move to take a seat on the arm of your chair.

You’re not sure how many minutes pass but eventually you reach the end of the chapter. You place your hand in your book, knowing you’re not stopping long enough to need your bookmark (you can’t possibly stop reading with only this many pages to go) and look up.

Jeongguk’s perched on the arm of your chair, looking down at you with a soft smile on his face.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

“D’you want some tea?” He repeats softly.

“Yes please,” you smile sheepishly, feeling bad that you’d ignored him. “Sorry about that, I just-”

“I know. It’s fine.” He makes no move to get up yet. “I love watching you read.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. You always look so cozy. You’re all snuggled up and in this other world and throwing yourself into these adventures. It’s amazing to see. I always wish I had something to read when I see you. Like, I’m kind of jealous that I don’t usually have the time to start a book. I guess it just makes me feel really calm to watch you.”

“It does?”

“Yeah. It’s like, I know you’re here with me and you’re safe and nothing’s worrying you right there and then. Like, I don’t get to see this usually. It makes me realise I’m home and I’m with you.”

“Oh.”

Your heart is pounding in your chest at his words but somehow, you feel calm too.

“Can I ask what you’re reading or shall I leave you to it for a bit?”

“No, no. Of course you can,” you smile, reaching to the other arm of the chair for your bookmark and popping it in. For him, you’d pause for a little while. For him, you’d do anything. “I love talking about what I’m reading.”

Hours later - neither of you can be sure how long exactly - Jeongguk is sitting directly opposite you in the matching armchair, coffee table separating you both filled with books.

Paperback book and hardback books and new books and old. As many as you could locate in your apartment that you thought Jeongguk might like. You’d sat together and read the blurbs until he found one full of magic and adventure that he wanted to read. His eyes had sparkled when he’d picked it up, already entranced by the illustrations of the characters on the front cover.

Cut to now - Jeongguk folded up on the opposite chair to you, legs tucked under himself, nose pressed into the book resting against an arm of the arm chair.

You’d completed your book a while ago, now content to sip on the tea he’d brought you and watch him lose himself in the story in front of him.

You get what he means, you think to yourself as you watch him. It is calming to see; here’s your favourite boy, curled up safely in your apartment, well rested, relaxed, enough time to enjoy the normal things, the little things in life.

Your mind casts back to the time that he’s been home for the break. The endless sleeping for the first weeks, catching up on years of exhaustion; the desperation for you, catching up on years of unavoidable separations; the reconnecting with his family, catching up on lives in real time rather than over fuzzy facetime screens. Him discovering new loves, new hobbies, new ways to relax himself. Him simply being there in your apartment, dropping kisses to your cheek as he passes, joining in spontaneous dances in the kitchen.

Your heart’s doing that thing again, where it feels like there’s too much love in it, and it’s almost like he knows.

He turns the page of his book, peeking over the top of it at you as if he’s just wanting to make sure you’re still there, that he’s not just imagined this.

You send him a soft smile, pulling your cup to rest against your lips.

“Love being home.”

*

(WELP. I miss BTS already but I’m so so pleased they’re getting time off. I’m pretty sure JK’s time off won’t be as boring as this but it gives me comfort to think of him being all relaxed and domestic! Hope you enjoyed!)

[lil-oowada]

+ ending

((Ok soooooo theres gonna be a couple cameos I apologize but this wouldn’t leave my head))

“KICHI!”

Bruno’s eyes popped open. Instead of being greeted by the absolute void of nothingness, or the fires of the actual place he expected to be, he was greeted by a black haired child sitting on his chest, black marker in hand. The kid wore a green dress… like a school uniform?

“Awww~ Mooooooom~” The kid drawled out in disappointment, inching the marker back closer to Bruno’s face. “Can I at least give him a monocle? This guy said it was fine! Right right right???”

He couldn’t speak. Honestly he hadn’t really spoken to nearly anyone in a year so he couldn’t trust that his voice wouldn’t be a croaky mess.

…Maybe he was in Hell. A hell where he’s forever forced to silently allow a child to draw on him. Meh, he’d take this over whatever the fuck the other Super High School Level Despairs could come up with. Suddenly he was very thankful he dipped out of the Enoshima’s little group when he did.

“No, Kichi!” The stern voice yelled once again. Suddenly the weight on his chest was lifted and the kid was pulled away by the scruff of their collar. “I told ya to leave him the fuck  alone, young man! He’s sick ‘n’ I don’t want ya gettin’ it too!”

Bruno gulped as he watched the new figure at the end of his bed place the boy in a dress down and hand him a bag. “'N’ quit callin’ me Mom, ya lil’ shit! I got the clothes ya asked for, so take yer shit ‘n’ go change. ”

“NYEHEHE! Why? You’re not my mooooom remember??” He giggled and ran off giddily into the other room anyway.

Bruno was really too stunned to react to anything. White jacket. Pink goggles. Black hair. Violet eye glaring down at him, the other hidden behind a black eye patch…

Crissy Oowada, Bruno’s high school sweet heart, and someone he had been told was torn apart by turrets on the steps of Hope’s Peak Academy, was standing at the edge of his bed.

“Bruno-san,” she stated. Her visible eye stared down at him. “Ya know who I am, yea?”

He flinched and looked down. Crissy didn’t address anyone formally, ever. He didn’t like that, but nonetheless he nodded his head. He was ashamed… He threw a party when he got the news she was dead. ‘Enoshima freed me so I didn’t have to do it myself~’ he once called out triumpantly. God, he hated what he became.

“Ya ain’t gotta talk. I’m fine filln’ ya in.” He was glad she had accepted the nod as an answer and watched as she circled around the bed to the chair Kichi must have set up there.

“You were being wreckless,” she stated, sitting down in the chair. “Left a fuckin’ trail a mile long, 'n’ if I didn’t have my contact in the Future Foundation, they woulda found ya 'n’ shot yer ass, no questions asked.”

He bit his tongue to interject. Bruno wasn’t stupid, he knew what he was doing. Not that he wanted to let her in on what he had been planning.

“Ya… ya done a lotta shit, Bruno-san,” she continued, running her hands through her long black hair. “Ya hurt a lotta people. Like so much that I can’t deny, I almost slit yer throat when I found ya.”

There was that brutal honesty he found so endearing. His mouth quirked up a little before it fell back down.

“W…why didn’t you?” Just as he feared, the words came out more as a croak then actual words. Thankfully she seemed to understand.

“'Cuz I care 'bout ya,” Crissy said, grabbing his hand. “A-at least I did… once. There’s no way I’m lettin’ ya get hurt that easily.”

He visibly shivered at her touch and squeezed back. It was warm. But this was wrong. He didn’t deserve this. If she grabbed him before the Future Foundation could, she’d be in trouble. From documentation he had dug up on the punishment of the man that dared to defy the Future Foundation and save Remnants of Despair… She would be as good as dead.

 "Kitten,“ he whispered softly. He knew she hated that old nickname, but couldn’t resist. “I don’t deserve this… I can’t-”

“Yer right,” she stated simply, a bit cold. She slid her hand away and stood up. “Ya don’t deserve my hospitality 'r whatever. Yer not like the others.Ya chose this. Ya chose to leave me 'n’ all yer friends behind to hurt people, fucking kill people! 'Cuz yer fuckin bored!” She stopped her ranting to pinch the bridge of her nose, as if trying to keep herself from yelling anymore.

He didn’t know why. He deserved every syllable and more.

“Ya can never undo the hurt ya caused us,” she muttered, reaching into a satchel the strap strung around the nearby hat rack. “But ya can help make things right.”

Bruno raised his eyebrows as Crissy dumped a laptop in front of him. “Wha-?”

“KICHI! Bring yer classmate!”

He just sat there confused for a moment. Kichi then returned, proudly dressed in a strange strsight jacket like white shirt and pants, but Bruno nearly stopped breathing as he saw him hand in hand with the 'classmate’ Crissy mentioned. He wore a uniform, similar to Kichi’s former clothes, but an ugly grey Monokuma helmet sat on his head.

“Bruno-san,” Crissy sighed. “I brought ya to a house in Towa City… I know ya can fix this,” she grabbed his shoulder. “Ya know what happens if ya break the controller? 'R if the link between the Monokumas and the kids ’re severed?”

Knew? Please. Once he was bored of hacking government servers and sending nukes to small villages, he had helped the little green haired shit write the actual code. Bruno had even coded it so that if someone didn’t take it off just right, the thing would implode on the poor little bastard inside. However he didn’t want to devulge all of that in fear of what Crissy would do to him and simply nodded. He knew that no matter how desperate she was, if he freely gave away that info, she’d make him suffer when this was all over.

“Then please…” She breathed shakily. “Set them free. I tried and I can’t…can’t keep doing this…” Even with Crissy’s Super High School Level Sabotuer talent, he could tell she hadn’t been able to save many. Kichi must have been one of the lucky ones.

He turned back to the laptop and opened it. It was old, honestly. A giant piece of shit, but it could work. Hell, he lauched a nuke with worse. His fingers danced on the keys, not answering her. Her eyes lit up with hope, as she watched him work silently. She didn’t say a word until Kichi groaned in the background, complaining of boredom and hunger.

Crissy relented and retired with Kichi to the kitchen to whip up food for the boys, leaving Bruno alone with the boy in the Monokuma helmet. He tried not to look up at the boy, at the empty eyes of the helmet. Tried to push down the guilt, and the small voice at the back of his head that whispered about how cool it would be if he just moved around some code to make all the children’s heads just explode when Crissy walked in.

Bruno just grit his teeth bared it until-

Chssshhhhh

The helmet thumped onto the ground, revealing dark purple hair and watering violet eyes to match.

Bruno sighed and slid the laptop away from him, keeping the temptation to add any harmful coding at bay.

“Kaito-chan!”

He turned to the door and found that Kichi had returned with bread rolls and soup, probably for him. However, it didn’t matter, since the boy immediately dropped the entire platter and raced to his friend. Bruno didn’t mind; he probably would have thrown it up anyway.

“Kichi! I know yer not throwin’ shi-” Crissy stomped angrily into the room, but deflated the instant she found Kichi hugging and crying the hugging the confused but newly freed child.

She turned to Bruno, who in turn simply leaned back against the headboard, and brushed his fingernails against his shirt as if it was no big deal, a bit of his forner cheekiness beginning to shine through his formerly sullen face. “All the kids should be coming around about now.”

Her visible eye filled with tears and she flung her arms around him. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She sobbed hard, catching the hacker off guard. He had no clue what the hell to do in this situation… so he simply pat her head. “I- I can’t thank you enough, Prettyboy!”

He never realized how much he missed that name.

((Yaaah still can’t end things for shit haa sorry if this was ooc like i couldn’t write this from Crissy’s view honestly and kaito and ouma are like 13 here which i figured would be appropriate since a certain character looked a bit older for reference also as far as i know they never broke up so like yeah haha))

[communist-cat-girl]

Ok So

im on my shit again cause pragerU is still makin fuckin’ videos time to yell about PragerU - The Least Diverse Place In America

(0:08) They had me in the first quarter, im not gonna lie, i thought this would be some interestin social justice piece and that maybe prageru’s obvious racism and ignorance were instantly solved by this Charlie Kirk guy. I was so wrong.

(0:28) Okay because there still totally isnt racism on college campuses or anythin’??? and like a ton of misogyny??? that isnt addressed at all??? ever??? but sure dude okay, lets act like colleges are good and perfect.

(0:46) So this is just ... I mean he sounds like an idiot who did zero research already but here we go. Can’t wait to have a straight white guy tell me about queer acceptance.

(0:59) Umm no not at all, people will still forever be homophobes and transphobes and every other phobe on the block. Also who the fuck signs a consent form for sex? They’re not doing kinky shit they’re caricatures of a man and a woman kissin’. Also seriously dude? Experimenting? This isn’t the fuckin’ 80′s, we know people are gay for sure and that people know full well what the hell they’re doin’. Experimenting is the way straight people have been disenfranchisin’ actual gay feelin’s for ages and this dipshit is perpetuatin’ that while tryna’ claim that these issues are “been there, done that,” as if anythin’ is solved. Fuck you already Charlie you clearly don’t know what the fuck is goin’ on in the world.

(1:04) If I had a dime every time I heard some conservative asshole talk about this in relation to safe spaces alone I think I’d have enough money to pay for my tuition. Barely.

(1:10) Ye, that thing racists, homophobes, and straight up nazis try to say is an issue because of us nasty liberals. I know the phrase and I know you’re boutta’ spew some bullshit about the first amendment, hit me already.

(1:21) ... Have you been to a college campus ever dude? Seriously, this is an honest question. I don’t even think hes been out in the real world if he thinks conservative ideas are radical or that colleges shut down “diversity of thought.” They shutdown bullshit because bullshit questions don’t need to be asked.

If a nazi asks “Why don’t we kill all Jews?” We do not attempt to explain to them the immorality of genocide nor do we explain to them their ignorance for thinkin’ that Jewish people are somehow the issue in their lives instead of their own mediocrity. We ignore them and move on, as we should. Because they’re fuckin’ idiots.

(1:25) You mean society, right? All of society does is indoctrinate you into a specific way of thinkin’. College isn’t special in this, every single region, culture, and subculture, even on accident, will attempt to indoctrinate you to their way of thinkin’, that’s just how it works naturally. We learn and grow from new experiences and interactin’ with different people, it’s an incredibly important part of our growth. College is an incredibly diverse place where we can do that!

(1:36) I don’t know if you know what’s up politically but people on “The Right” like to defund schoolin’ and bash on our teachers for no reason. So yeah ... they’re gonna’ be more left leanin’ considerin’ who their enemy is when it comes to literally makin’ a wage high enough to pay rent and eat food.

(1:46) ‘Cause no conservative signs up ‘cause they know their antiquated ideas will be shutdown in two seconds because colleges are, often, forward thinkin’ institutions that want to include many different people as they possibly can instead of lettin’ some white middle class straight cis asshole tell other people what to do???

I’m not even overeactin’ here, every experience in college i’ve had with a white conservative man who is my superior has been hellish and degradin’, it sucks. You give assholes power and they become bigger assholes, it’s how it works dude.

(1:59) What kind of conspiracy theory bullshit are you talkin’ ‘bout. No one’s paycheck depends on victims ‘xcept ... well no one. Ever. In the history of everthin’.

(2:10) My core being is superficial to you? What the fuck dude? My pride in bein’ an Italian American, Wiccan, liberal, demisexual, polyamorous, transgender woman is important to me, it’s at the very core of who I am, not some superficial mask I put on. What I am is what I fuckin’ am and that shit that makes me a unique individual is important. Fuck you Charlie.

(2:13) What!? What the fuck!?

How is glorfyin’ who someone is at their core superficial and how is it destructive? Who hurt you Charlie? Who told you that positive feedback and kindness and love is harmful?

(2:16) The only thing destroyin’ real learnin’ is a) people bein’ willin’ly ignorant to honest to the gods facts and b) the fact that republicans are defundin’ education like a mother fucker.

(2:25) a) We’ve all learned from Shakespeare dipshit. He was a surprisin’ly forward thinkin’ man for his time period and wrote what is considered to be some of the greatest works of art in the western world. b) Who isn’t readin’ Shakespeare cause he was a white man? I still do, I enjoy his shit. I know plenty of other queer people who enjoy his shit. What are you gettin’ at here?

(2:34) N- ... no it doesn’t dude. I’m literally a queer woman on a college campus. I am accepted into a group despite my transness and ethnic background. Everyone, black, white, asian, and so forth, speak to each other with respect. Genders, while not treated equally by the old, conservative staff, all get to say what they want and are given equal value in conversations. I live in Texas, not a very liberal place, but I still experience more acceptance and confidence than I ever did with even my parents.

This is clearly bullshit right wingers pull to split apart people in the left by claimin’ that our actions somehow divide us even though, if recent protests and counter protests held by the left against the right proves anythin’, its that our differences unify us. Unlike all of you middle class cishet white asshats.

(2:42) No.

Even ignorin’ my experiences, I’ve never heard a single issue with liberals excludin’ other liberals. It’s always conservatives who either exclude or get pissy when their radical ideas get them excluded. Same with radical liberals really.

(3:03) Has it? Also does that matter? The issue is that we have a stupid amount of people in poverty and a stupid small amount of rich people who are stockpilin’ money that is ruinin’ our economy.

Look I actually like capitalism as a concept, I also like communism, and socialism, hell I even like a monarchy or a tribal system where chieftains and elders hold votes. These concepts (both the economic and ideological ones) on paper are all perfect and good and do more harm than good.

The issue is that in practice, here in America, capitalism is ruinin’ lives as we speak and is goin’ to lead to an international crisis sooner than later on both an economic and environmental level. Capitalism, as it stands, is unsustainable, and our stance needs to change.

(3:06) No? When? Can you give me an example because if you mean places like Cuba or China or North Korea or the Soviet Union those were all communist regimes that acted more like dictators than representatives of their people. Real ass communism hasn’t really been done outside of small communes. People are just too power hungry for their own good, the only difference with capitalism is that their avarice is given praise by the masses.

(3:14) Do not act like we alone made some kind’ve ever lastin’ peace. Do not act like we haven’t instigated violence in the Middle East like it’s a fuckin’ game of Hearts of Iron IV. We, as a nation, are warmongers at worst and war profiteers at best.

(3:21) Because as well all know poor people do not commit crimes because they’re poor and aren’t given a way out of their shitty economic situations no no no, they do it because they’re black and play the victim card.

And of course slavery didn’t both ruin the lives of millions of people by makin’ them and their descendants poor and underprivileged, black people are poor because they choose to be violent and lazy. Obviously.

[/Sarcasm]

(3:29) Maybe because they’re wrong when they say this shit and we don’t want old ideas that don’t work or are objectively wrong or based too highly on subjective thought.

(3:37) I think Trae Crowder said it best when talkin’ ‘bout the nazi bullshit in Charolettesville, “They’ve been losin’ battle after battle, fight after fight for 200 years in this country and these are their death rows.”

Your stupid ideas are fallin’ off, the reason you have a voice right now is because you’re gettin’ desperate and so are the old rich assholes who are afraid taxes will empty even 1% of their fuckin’ pockets who give you the money to even exist.

(3:34) And that’s what they do! And we look at what people on the right do and we all cringe because it’s stupid! We’re not all closeted entitled fuckin’ rich kids goin’ to ivy league schools on our parents dime! We know what the real world is and it’s fuckin’ tough and scary and everyone is pitted against us. We know these things. Dumb fuckin’ bitch. I’m seriously tired of this guy right now.

(3:50) ... ... Did this dude not think we know what liberal means?

(4:12) Noble goal, I wish the rest of America would adopt this kind of “Melting Pot” idea, we’d prolly have way less issues honestly.

(4:25) ??? Why are you mad that people are bein’ kind and decent ???

(4:31) Thanks for usin’ actual terms in an attempt to disenfranchise them of any real meanin’. The same shit is happenin’ with the word triggered so y’know, not really a new tactic. Also one that doesn’t work on changin’ minds. This entire channel is an echo chamber I swear.

(4:35) Wow he’s ... stupid huh. The words mean what they mean asshole. Maybe ask one of your queer friends? You’re diverse in thought, right? Oh wait no your diversity of though doesn’t take queerness into account. Because you’re an asshole.

(4:52) ... No.

Like literally no, where do you get this idea from? Other liberals do not think like other liberals, there is infightin’ in EVERY culture, includin’ college campuses you fuckin’ dipshit.

I’m sorry I’m mostly just callin’ him a dumbass cishet white asshole middle class piece of shit but I’m really pissed off with his willful ignorance.

(4:54) No, it’s not. The two things do not compare.

(5:01) You mean what queer, black, and many other disenfranchised people have been doin’ for ages? Okay.

(5:12) No. Shit.

Video over. I want to die. I hate this dude so much.

[tomaschronosart]

I can remember writing a story about a cackle of hyenas whom were mindlessly roaming The Unending Desert, from memory I had depicted them as these anthropomorphic creatures – nearly human enough to recall. I was in Mrs. Dyer's class, so grade 6. I remember how calm and confident I felt doing this particular task, it seemed like I knew how to flow and tap into some source from the get go.The feeling of calm comfortability was very rare for me. Mrs. Dyer played the entire class a song and requested we create a narrative based on our initial thoughts, feelings and reactions to the song. As a kid with a bed time, I mostly just passed out from exhaustion, instead of actually going to sleep… I would lie awake every night, wired, manic and fearful. I began writing stories in my head early on in an attempt to soothe and channel my chronic anxieties.. I had constructed the usual traumatized-child-fantasy-universe – a safe place where I could manifest the perception of control. I never minded sleeplessness, as it created an apt environment for cognitive free-running, I adjusted. My fantastical bedtime stories were vanilla, from memory.. drug cartels, mercenary adventures in the jungle, sci-fi opera journeys and sometimes just a regular old adventure where me and mine would acquire some kind of drug or person or thing. For a long time, I had an obsession with unearthing new control techniques to quench the thirst of my firmly embedded insomnia - I had stock-standard/methodical/repetitive stories that would take 2-3 ours to ‘create n complete’. If there was a satisfying and coherent beginning, middle and an end to te story, I could sleep. Nights were always hardest and darkest for me – I have no idea how old I was when my sleep hygiene began deteriorating. And though, sleeplessness was uncomfortable and I was never keen on being tired – After doing the reading recovery program, I could finally read, so I was quick to pick up the –read-in-bed- habit. I began hearing other peoples stories, a welcome change. if I was feeling particularly flowy, I’d organize one of my card collections. I would try to master some new drawing technique... but I could sit behind a computer for 18-24 hours straight and ride the wave playing some puzzle or anything else repetitive enough to numb my mind. I remember how icy cold I’d get during winter - how blue my hands would become after hours of sitting stationary at my desk.. I would leave my window open throughout the night to keep the computer cool, it lagged if it overheated. I used to think that if I didn’t pay any attention to the cold, I would not feel the cold. Before I was 10, I had not come across any one thing that transfixed me. I had not yet become addicted to anything yet, I think? – that is until Puzzle Pirates!!! Shit, when that fucker came into the picture.. well, I no longer gave a shit about anything but Puzzle pirates. I could not cope with the disconnection, exile and the incessant bullying I copped from my peers. The frustrated messes waiting for me at home were suckin down durries, grog and sugar as hungrily as the machines cha-chinning for their money at the pub. I still am heeding these calls I am too tired to remember. I am still sweeping the dust away from these things I cant forget. At times, I miss the calm comfortability of not needing drugs; I miss the warmth that seeped away whilst roaming the waking world; I miss my Lunar lover, who would speak to me in dreams/ through dreams i could See through, cast away, be at ease. I hold on Tightly- still, To whatever vice’ll’suffice. seeming to soothe and appease the beast / my early coping strategies of hermitage and avoidance, protect me from momentum Games and story telling and art replication – I wanted to draw cartoon characters, as I was exposed to their stories more than my own peoples. I can still remember the countless hours, days and weeks of social isolation and voiceless anxiety. Sugar – one of the quickest ways to soothe my boiling baby brain. I keep thinking of the root of this addiction as a loss or lack of social belonging , or maybe I am lamenting another warped perception of my self .. I remember that I was so emotive and empathic and open but also unregulated, neglected and full of painful confusion. I forget that I still am. I felt so damn old all the time. I remember the sunshine splattering through the windows, onto the dashboard of mums old Ford Laser. We were doing one of our usual trips to Warrandyte for her housekeeping job with then Heffernans. I remember looking out over the balcony at the rear of their place, taking in the kilometers of bush and possibility. I black out their olympic size swimming pool - i nearly drowned in it a few times. While I was peering out across the sky,I was fretting over forgetting how I came to be standing there. I did not understand how I forgot- I remembered the sunshine On my face, So I knew, I had gotten there, though I could not remember how. I wanted to be a boy. I was a boy. I became a girl, as expected. , football was a medium, a bridge for the repressed masculinity – I didn't like to exercise, I did not want to be made of aware of my breathing, bleeding bio sac. my body was unimportant and sickly and tired and stressed and depressed, chronically– I reflect now and see how maladaptive a depressive I am. Always, wanting to escape the confines of the very thing I want to inhabit and realize? //// ah!!! the system that creates its own dependence, to substantiate its usage of the finite well, shall never recognize its own self-destructive carelessness. For having ignored the infinite well, the system, as it stands, shall fall. And that well that never runs dry? Well, I always forget about it. I use everything I have ever touched// to coin a collection of concepts Only I can comprehend. But, this is making it easier. I can see a bit clearer now. I can ease into the next step, less weary than before. But why? The further away I wander, the more susceptible I am to rot. In time, these things will return … and of my soul? My soul shall ache and pupate once more, Forlorn, I remember///! how I forgot – to start, To stop. And who's justifications am I leaning towards now? My deep dwelling fears and my leering observations are erratic, Unsustainable, Confusing. THE MAD ARM OF THE Y – an obstruction arises along the path creating the crossroads of forever, Two new paths, the same old path. I am alone, finally – at peace. At ease, with my failures, for now. No mirror I stumble upon can stave off my stare, Why should they? to see through what I can only see when I Stop, start and Refresh is my responsibility. I am so sorry, that I show A me that thinks it can have something It is not worthy of. Give me nothing and give me everything - I have been in all of the wrong places. I know I think wrong, and that I have made it too hard on myself. I know these revelations have been a long time coming but- I sat there and I remembered, It is to me and to me alone that I must consort with. I seek council amongst my memories and I find shelter in my solitude. These flickering unrealities I thought were gone - Pls, just hold onto the everlasting, Try, bust through space and time and just- Breathe. My desire for my true end has faded, I see life again, manifest. The 10,000 directions in front of me, the Myriad forever, the calf of endless suffering howls my name so doggardly. And change and change and change And grow and grow and grow, And that's all u r doing and that's all U can do. individualism is not the thing That u share with me, nor I with u. I remembered just now, that Id like to talk with u and, Share space. How I miss fixing shit with you. How u and me, we used to sit in the park and heal our aching thoughts- Work'd be done and the day was forever- and the thoughts would come, and go. And I miss it cause it kept me closer to my people – for when I speak amongst my kin, I am Home and full hearted – But I lost all my chill, I lost all my capitol, frankly. Then - it snow balled, as it always does. I feel I have been too sad to be a friend, too fucked to really feel love, I fear I am to scattered to comprehend my responsibilities And I’m too damn lonely to ask for help. And so what? Now what? Just keepin up with the fuckin fog is hard enough, I know I just gotta slow down and risk a bit of pain and ease into warmth and trust that its true. My silence has done me a disservice. My love for u, eternally/ Evergrateful / be am me, For all is as it could be. Chained to nought but my fears, Lovingly I say to u, from the mouth of Beth Ditto, “If everything u do has a hole in it, then everything u do has a hold on me, I been here before I should be used to this, But I can't take it no more, I can't take it no more, no oooo, Ooooooooo ooooooo ooooo,” (And to me I always sing:) “Yr mangled hrt, yr bitter love that's hangin onto memories, Ur lettin go of everything that ussed to be, U build me up to let Me down…” And from the channels of me, I wonder, what am I releasing? Capitulating with comrades, A sparrow new found – tiny and fragile, Like glass, Rock hard and clear/ transparent but, still. It is shattered Spraying and sputtering nuggets of raw energy. Crack and singe, whatever mind of mine is waning by the wayside. Moments of forever, Of the eternal calm of belonging- Jan Cadman’s Kyneton property, We’s just yabbies in the dam. / I think I can see, I wanna chill, like when I was there. As conceited as I can be- some people I never need to feel again. Thin ice, let me drown. My neck is under deep, it's me and me alone that keeps quiet. I've been drowning, again, like always. I just got sick from telling people.. Only I can save me, I forgot, I forgot.