#lets lighten the fucking mood in here altho i guess NOT COMPLETELY

[simmonsized]

Mmmm, okay I’ve decided to bug you again. This time it’s for your Bro Strider hcs, it can be as random as you want them to be. Shoot ‘em at me bro!

(Side comment: Mom lalonde’s lack of cooking skills in TRaG kills me every time. I love her <333)

haha you're not bugging me! it's been really fun! this time I will not go on a crazy in-depth rant, because my actual deep dive on Bro Strider's personality, past, and like, general state of being would be embarrassingly long and i refuse to face the mortifying ordeal of being known THAT well like u know, half a million words of nonsense already out there and what have u

BUT i can give u some sillies and they are just. RnG specific, for fun also! (fun for me lol) For canon Bro it's a little too hard bc like.... lmfao the man has no speaking lines, so i'm extrapolating from a 2-D sprite of a version of a guy raised by a demon puppet. Whatever that says about me.

Bro (and D) are both missing a molar on the upper right side, towards the back

Bro got his truck when he was 22, before that, he would carry Dave around on the bus lol

He (like Dirk) doesn't like the crusts on his pizza, but started eating them as the parent of a picky toddler, and I guess never broke that habit, he is a parent down at the center of himself, even if he wouldn't admit it

I headcanon all the Striders as having pretty severe ADHD, just well. Because lol

He has a bunch of the same shirts and shoes because they're "efficient" not because he particularly liked any of them, and I don't think he could be considered particularly fashionable, even if popped collars were, indeed, a thing in 2009

He gets freckles in the sun, which I think he usually manages to avoid with his silly little hat

He's left handed but that's not really a headcanon so much as canon bc hussie is left handed and tends to draw all of them holding swords in their left unless the sprite is flipped haha!

Big Ol' Crush on Jake Harley when he was a kid. Compounded with time and bitterness made for a pretty fraught relationship lol

Bro (obviously) loved Jim Henson as a kid

Hand in hand with that, he's super good at voice impressions, to the point where it's more uncanny and haunting than just like, a little silly

He worked under the table at a car garage after moving into the apartment by himself, and yeah! c:

He was a little ?????? in between 18 and 20, so he started going to college, but dropped out because Dave showed up

Also I headcanon that the kids dropped on Mom and Bro's 20th birthday, due in part to my (regretful) knowledge of the Skaianet files which I don't know if anyone remembers that but like, it mentions grandpa harley picking mom and bro up in 1975

I also have a formula for figuring out the alpha guardians age which is insane but i'm right about it

Bro used to DJ (i mean he has mixing equipment but we all know the smuppets are where the money is at) but Dave was getting too old to leave alone in the car (yes he fucking left his baby in the car don't tell me he wouldn't i know him) so he had to stop

He broke his arm when he was 12 (he fell down the stairs lol)

Bro is afraid of airplanes because he doesn't like being out of control, there's nothing to do, and there are no feasible exits from said plane

He didn't start smoking until he got Dave (unrelated to Cal, but I do think that Cal's influence grew and built over time, and possibly was even more extreme because of Dave's presence, so who knows where he'd be without it)

also neither he nor Mom really know how to cook, Bro a little more than Mom because she spent most of her time drinking and pretending to be a parent without putting the work in and Bro has been on his own basically since teenhood

He and Dave have been to Disneyworld (they got kicked out)

He was really into phreaking payphones as a teenager (lookin at u geometrician)

His first Halloween costume was Sam the Eagle

:)