#lets call it reasonable amount of model clipping

[sparkanonymous]

It's finally time for me to watch Dragons Rising!

Time for some incomprehensible note-taking while I ink the last WIP I posted.

⚠️ Spoilers for episodes 1-3!

Here's what I know:

The OG 4 (+ Nya I think) have been lost to time. It's actually the main reason why I didn't want to watch it back when it first came out; I didn't want to watch the series without the characters I loved. (Not the biggest Lloyd fan, so he wasn't enough for me to want to come and watch it.)

The main 4 are found, but Jay is like... brainwashed or something, and works for a facility or whatever.

Cole basically has a boyfriend and kids now.

Geo is adorable.

Kai is also kind of a father figure to one of the new ninja characters. I think her name is Wyldfyre.

The Cole and Zane reunion was ass. You're telling me that, after they couldn't find each other for however long, they didn't go and squeeze the life out of each other? I saw a clip and it bugged me so bad- it looked like they just... clipped two separate clips of Cole and Zane seeing each other and lost the first clip's amount of emotion. Cole was running to go and greet Zane, and then he just puts his hand on his shoulder? Nah. (Maybe it's because I'm a massive Glacier fan, but ugh... I can't help it.)

They kind of made up for it when Zane called puppy Cole cute. That was adorable, especially with how Cole looked up at Zane after turning back into a human.

Okay, let's get this show on the road.

Divider made by steddiecameraroll-graphics

Episode 1: The Merge (1)

Alright, so we're just immediately getting into the merge. Not even minute in, lol okay.

The intro to the ninja was pretty epic.

Standing that close to an explosion... that would've lead to some terrible injury for Arin... (that's his name right?)

Okay, but to watch everything you ever knew and loved just... vanish? That would fucking suck. That probably led a lot of people to go down their villain path.

That zoom in and that angry look on Arin's face... is he gonna become a villain?

So Arin is definitely a kid when the merge happened, given that he has those little Lego legs. So, now, he's at least a teenager. It's definitely been plenty of years. (We're not even 5 minutes in yet.)

Cute puppies at the junkyard.

For everything bad that Ninjago writers do to the series, the animators always pop off with the visuals. The lighting is immaculate.

Arin's voice... it feels familiar. NO FUCKING WAY HE'S CHEF FROM THE TDI REBOOT????? No, how... HOW

Okay... so Arin knows a little bit of Spinjitzu... how? I thought you had to be taught the ways of Spinjitzu before you could learn it. Sure, his role models are the ninja, but there's no way he would've been able to pick up on the tiny things just by watching them do it.

Little dancing robots lol

No matter how many years it's been, hearing the phrase "BFF" be said out loud still makes me cringe, no matter what show I'm watching.

I like that he's a little baker.

Dumbass villain lol

No matter how good of terms I would be with anyone, even a frog anthro, I still would not be cool with them using their tongue to give me a high five.

Why is Mr. Frohicky so adamant about them dropping out?

So the Never Realm is connected to this universe because of the merge. Can't believe I didn't think about that. Could definitely lead to more Zane-Never Realm angst.

That's Starlight Glimmer. Kreel is Starlight Glimmer. Wow.

Oh, Kreel is so cheating.

Yep. AND attempting murder.

So that little dragon gifted Sora with powers? That's pretty cool.

What do you mean "how'd you-"? You know that your spinjitzu is terrible.

So were Sora's powers given to her or already within her?

LLOYD! I already knew we'd see him eventually, but it's still good to see him.

I feel like Lloyd's intro was kinda... rushed? Like, we had less than 30 seconds before the credits and then he suddenly appears? It kinda makes sense, but... idk

Episode 2: The Merge (2)

I miss you, old theme song. I want you back.

So Lloyd saw Arin do spinjitzu, but didn't see who did the spinjitzu? It was clearly weak, and orange, and while [I think] Kai's spinjitzu is orange, he's definitely not weak. Lloyd would have known it was Kai, or any of the ninja he knows. This was clearly just for the reveal to Lloyd, and probably to measure up his disappointment if he ever admits it later on, but like... come on.

Sora becoming a fan while watching Lloyd fight is kinda cute.

Arin, you nasty; wash the mask you put on your face all the time. I bet he's gotten sick countless times because of that thing lol

The fact that Arin immediately calls Lloyd "Master Lloyd".

So Lloyd can't hear Rapton yelling, but he can hear footsteps behind him from an equal amount of distance? Damn, he must've gotten good at ignoring villains' monologues.

Poor Sora... second hand embarrassment is terrible.

The new theme song... no. I don't like it. I'm sorry.

Okay, so the dragon is giving Sora it's powers?

So messages can go anywhere? I don't know why, but I thought that the places that the other ninja were stuck in were completely unreachable, because they were separate universes apart. ... I did notice that there was an unstable crack in the sky in the last episode, when Raz got a hold of the Sora and Arin, so if they are universes apart, maybe that's how they would send messages to each other?

How many times has the Destiny's Bounty been rebuilt.

MASTER WU!

Lloyd believing Wu is just immortal. I kinda get it, but like... look at him. He's gonna blow to dust in - at most - a couple more decades, trust me.

Goddamn, why is Zane full tits out in the flashback?

Okay, so the dragon they found is a "Source Dragon" right?

Lloyd beating the shit out of Kai without even thinking.

Kai and Lloyd's little spin hug... that's cute. It's nice to see them being close.

Yeah, you already said the merge-quakes were getting worse, Lloyd. I don't think you needed to reiterate that lol

I like how Arin's spinjitzu mess ups still end up helping out in the long run.

So is Raz hunting down the ninja?

Ah, so the power is within the ninja and the dragons just enhance the amount of power they have on it by like... 10x.

I like that Lloyd stayed humble and just became the new ninjas' teacher instead of calling himself a master.

Ryu staying with the ninja over his own family feels kinda fucked up... I think the better excuse would be that Ryu's family need to keep Ryu safe while they look for a new home, and the ninja can protect them from danger. The decision Ryu made shouldn't have been up to them, with them being so young.

So, no, they are still hunting dragons, they're just using the ninja as a tool. Got it.

Episode 3: Crossroads Carnival

Sora's not gonna like being a ninja.

Lloyd's gonna be a little asshole lol

Those mechanisms haven't been cleaned ever, Sora. Don't get your hopes up.

Yep, Lloyd's pushing it and trying to be Wu lol

Lloyd's incapability to grow facial hair is more canon than anything lol

How did Sora not get set on fire?

"Without tea, I literally have no idea if that was fast enough-" So Lloyd's just a massive dumbass who looks too far into Wu's teachings? That's funny lmao

Why the fuck would you bring a dragon with you? That's literally the worst idea with dragon hunters around.

Oh, skeleton characters are back! I haven't seen them since... the episodes that took place before season 1? Has it really been that long since they were last used?

"Oh, come on, we never would have done that to Master Wu! ... That's a lie." Lmfao

How does Arin's grappling hook literally grapple onto everything?

Lobo is great actually.

Oh great, Kreel character redemption. That came out of fucking nowhere and feels forced as hell.

"My... only friend." You're calling this person "Targy" or whatever. There's something going on here.

The ninja tribute... that's so sweet.

Wait, so they know who Wu and Nya are, but they don't recognize Lloyd? The green ninja? The guy that is literally supposed to be the most powerful ninja?

The non existent beard strikes again.

"Do not type cast me!" I like this guy's dramatic flare.

"This is like that nightmare I had-" Funny, but does this say something about Lloyd's character?

Raz just goes and hires random fuckos? Hm... Is he connected to Jay in that aspect then?

I'm having a pretty good time with this so far! I don't like the theme song, though; it reminds me too much of She-ra and the Princesses of Power theme song, which also bothered me.

Current progress on the piece I'm inking:

[predestinatos]

You made many valid points about the wags, I think it's important to remember that we probably (can't speak for all of us, can I) don't have the same money as them to buy designed clothes, have surgical procedures (let's be honest, some have) and look after themselves as they do and being stunning is part of their job. With that being said, I hate that some fans are putting them on a pedestal, makes me think they are only interested in drivers and their life and not the sport. I particularly hate reading things like "she is everything, he is just there" like... I am sorry, I drew the line it's ridiculous ATP, it sounds forced, it sounds fake all these fan accounts about ex and current wags is beyond me. And to stay social/political in this way we make rich people even richer and they are basically doing nothing to earn this money while we (or their parents, sounds like a teenager thing calling wags "mother") work our ass off to make 1/10 of their money. Sorry I just needed to talk about this with someone ahahaha

no i 100% agree!!

another important thing, especially from a feminist point of view, is how these women are literally put against each other. the edits we see about current wags and exes and constant comments on their social medias about their boyfriends, their exes, their friends, is ridiculous.

these women are more than their respective s/os, in fact they are their own independent selves who suddenly got thrown into a world where they are glorified without asking for it yet insulted and torn apart for the same reasons.

i have seen certain wags being targets of such amount of scrutiny for 5 second clips, i can only imagine the mental toll that exerts on them. women are always a bigger target of scrutiny, insult and ridicule, comparison and everything in-between than men. they have to be pretty enough for the men, sweet enough, but not too much or people will say they want fame or something.

and then this idolization of these women is equally harmful because they are not role models to have. we know even less about them than about the drivers we like. we know absolutely nothing about them and placing this responsibility to be perfect on their shoulders is ridiculous both for them and for whoever does it.

we are force-fed a ridiculous amount of capitalistic propaganda from this system that it goes almost unnoticed from how obvious it is. most of them are and live in very privileged social statuses and have not done much to earn any sort of fanbase (as in wag fan accs and edits. very superficial.)

we, as women, never quite win. and neither do they. i think acknowledging their existence is fine, calling them pretty is fine, but constantly reinforcing our love for people who are normal and unknown to us is peculiar to say the least. just like micro analyzing everything they do and sending them hate is peculiar. and even more - constantly talking about their relationships.

i can only imagine how odd it would be if i started dating a famous person and, by association, people started idolizing me. women are not a performance or a trophy to be admired simply for existing. they are complex, deep, and have their own personalities outside their relationships. we need to let them have that. while also acknowledging their privilege.

hope this made sense ahah

[zenosanalytic]

Paintbrush, PlasGlue, and Holy Clippers: Sparse Marns Part II: Assembly

RIGHT! Let’s get to CHOPPIN >:> >:> WHATS IN THE BAAAAAACHS?!??!

Here are the (gender inclusive: they’re Transhuman Childsoldier Fleshwarbots)Lads I’ll be turning from Bits to Bums

A squad of five Primaris Heavy Intercessors; I bought these because my gameshop had them. I’m not a particular fan of the Space Marines, I’ve ALWAYS preferred the Xenos factions and Certain Cultures among the Horribly Maligned Natives of the Empyrean(Guess Which One :> :> :> It’s a CINCH!!), tho I DO, actually, have a wee little OC Chapter of my very own of headcanony significant(in this I am utterly unique among GW fans, I am Sure u_u u_u) which I hope to paint up an army for one day. However: I need to practice on something and my game shop has very few votanni boxes so here we are. Coincidentally I do also like the Adepta Sororitas(Space Battle Nuns), and that may come up later who knows u_u

Here is What’s in the Bachs. Look what they’ve done to my boys. These are the fabled Spruce, which we all pronounce ‘Sproose’ for some unfathomable English Reason. I’ve been spelling it Sprues up til now because I, Civic Mindedly, want you to know how to say it. No I didn’t call them “Spruces” for literally 20+ years of my life why would you think that of me??? Also there are their bases above, a contact sheet(I may or may not get to these later cuz they are A Hassle), and the instruction manual. I know this looks like allot but, Trust Me, it’s only five guys. Five Horribly, Horribly Mutilated Guys unu unu

But even Greater Horrors await us...

OH GODS! The humanity. Should I censor the image? I just found them like this I Swear your honor.

This is them clipped and gathered into the five builds I decided to use. I’d have liked to do process pics for that but, as but a wee snek, I cannot clip bits from sprues and operate a camera at the same time unu They are, reading the pic like a page from top left to bottom right, a Sargent(mandatory), Heavy Weapons Guy(optional. If you dont take em you can upgrade the whole squad’s rifles for free, but the Heavy is So Chunk so...), and Three Rifliers(it’s totally a word shutup unu) I decided on these by looking through the instructions

which look like that. They’re unnecessarily confusing. The way it SAYS it works is each build is color coded, but also numbered, but then sometimes the numbers are ALSO different steps in the same build, and then variants of the build are lettered(except when they’re numbered). I’d prefer if the steps were the letters and the numbers were build-exclusive, but you get used to it and the builds are so well engineered that you can’t really use “the wrong” part and end up stuck or anything. It’s important to do the steps for each build in the proper order but I’ll get to that later.

Here’s the thing: according to ppl who should know these things, they coat the sprues in “release agents” during manufacture to keep them from sticking together, so you need to clean that stuff off or the paint wont stick later. So, After I clipped them I washed them in

the cups from before, and quickly realized I’d overfilled the soapy one. You don’t need ALLOT of water there, just enough to cover the pieces. So after the first two I dumped it, used a more reasonable amount, and it went fine. The process is this: clip out your pieces, put them in the soap, swish em around a few times with a suitable digit, then pick em out and dump em in the clean water, swish, then set to dry on the paper towel. Easy Peasy.

When they’re dry(I waited 30ish minutes I think? Should have probably timed it -__-) You can start gluing them together. BUT NOT SO FAST!

These are mold lines. They’re a product of the way the Bits are cast, and they need to be removed before you start assembly-proper because it’d be a Hassle trying when they models are built and also they’d interfere with the joins. Most hobby companies make a “mold line remover” tool which, presumably is designed and shaped to do this job well, but honestly I just use the back of my hobby knife. Finger nails are also pretty good at the job:

et voila! That was just with nails. Sometimes the lines will be soft enough that you can, and sometimes they won’t. You’ll notice, also, that some details are just too small to really get at the lines without destroying the whole structure and that’s fine; you don’t need to go all out on the lines there. I might get a line remover at somepoint just to see how they do but honestly I feel like it’s a bit Finicky when finger nails and the back of a hobby knife work just fine. It’s not just mold lines tho:

that Weird grey-white accumulation center screen on the bit is where the sprue connected. When you cut them free, often there will be a little bit left cuz Physics. This, usually, is something you’ll need to use your hobby knife for, and this time I mean the sharp side. Remember: gentle, controlled, shaving and slicing, move in one direction and don’t saw, aim for a shallow angle. Some ppl will describe this process as ���scooping it out” but I think “making the surface smooth” is a better description(cuz that’s what you’re aiming for). Once you get most of the sprue-smut off with the cutty-end, you can then try the back of the knife, or a file, or your nails to finish smoothing. A few of these were tough enough to justify the file for me, but most weren’t and I just cleaned with nails and the back of the knife.

AND ANOTHER THING(omg)

This is one of the bolters(technically bolt rifles with Primaris marines), and as you’ll notice the barrel is a whole plug. But that’s not how gun barrels work! This is where the Hobby Drill comes in, tho honestly it’s really more of a pride/vanity thing and you don’t REALLY need to do it. It’s a pretty simple process; what I did was make a pilot divot with the tip of my awl-file, then used the smallest bit on my drill to drill a hole until it looked like it was as deep as the front bit of the barrel there, and then I drilled out the side holes. After the first one, I realized it’d be simpler to drill out the side holes first,and then drill from the front. Since the side holes are already recessed, you don’t really need to bother with making a pilot divot, tho you might want to trade off side to side if you’re worried about drilling at the wrong angle.

OK: FINALLY:: NOW::: PEOPLE FROM PIECES:::: AGAIN NO PROCESS PICS SURRRR:::::

Here’s the Sargent. They had allot of bare head options but imo That’s Stupid: why would someone go into a fight without a helmet? That prevents critical hits!! People keep their brains in there and honestly I think that’s a better idea than them floating around, wild and free.

cHeavy Weapon. On the one hand I like this sculp, on the other I really do think that tubing is Fiddly and Dumb and part of me desperately wanted to cut off the parts attached to the gun, and not include the parts which needed gluing. [EDIT: I Originally Forgot to put in this part X|] Also I put the arms on too early, and didn’t attach them to the gun first, so I had to DEtach them(A Hassle), attach them to the gun, then to the torso, THEN I knocked off his leg wrestling those into place; it was a nightmare. SO: Follow the Steps.

I THINK(???) I set him up with the armor-piercing ammo tin, but honestly WH40k is so RNGesus that taking the assault variant with, like, twice the attack dice is probably the way to go over two measly shots at -2Armor. Realistically most units will get vaporized a turn after firing, if they even survive that long(Heavy Intercessors probably will; they’ve got three wounds, which is as much as a light vehicle, and the whole squad is like 15 or 16, I forget if the Sargent gets an extra, which is as much as a Flipping Tank. Most infantry only have one), so maximizing your dice-count seems to be the best strategy.

I affectionately(derogatory) call this Lad “Stumbly”. Of all the builds they had the hardest time standing(they EVEN came off their stand at one point, but I’ll get to that later) because the illusion of forward motion makes it VERY fore-heavy, but once I attached the backpack/lifesupport it stood Okish. I like to imagine they’re not looking forward cuz they just saw a Really Neat Bug. Maybe they’re stepping around it; maybe they were just Trudging along to murk some space-elves and then ‘OH! Cute Bug!! Sorry, Sir, go about your day’ redirecting around it with their Transhuman Murderbot Reflexes uwu

You can’t really see it in this pic, cuz the angle is Awesome, but this Lad looks like they’re in the middle of raising their gun, so I’ve named them “Surprise!”. Their bolt-rifle barrel REALLY makes me wish I could have gotten the next size up bit in that drill -___- Presumably they were in the middle of some Important Discussion, Possibly about Neat Bugs, when a malnourished religious dissident stumbled out of the bushes and, well, Atheist-Space-Murder-Catholicism’s just Not That Great what can I say? That starving waif had Theses locked and loaded and they Needed to Die u_u u_u

This Lad’s reloading cuz, while everyone else was Lollygagging about Neat Bugs, they were Getting Shit Done. I’ve named them Already-Done-Shooting, or Ads, and I Love Them even tho they’re a bit annoying u_u u_u u_u

And here’s The Whole Squad, Based

I’m sorry for how blurry that looks; I Know Nothing about posting pics to tumblr and I refuse to learn.

Anyway: There’s All the Heavy Intercessors assembled and glued to their 44mm(I think?) bases ^v^ After this I used the Mister Dissolved Putty to fill in any gaps(cHeavy’s Heavy Bolter barrel had a pretty significant one), and then glued some Additional Bits to each model the next morning(this one), but I forgot to take pics before progressing further X| X| Tomorrow I document that progress in: The Undercoat

EDIT: GAH! that’s the POST BUTTON not the SCHEDULE BUTTON X| X| X| oh well I’ll reblog tamarrah -__-

[wannaberp]

— WHO IS CHU HANNA?

she’s a TWENTY-THREE year old wannabe, born DECEMBER 31, 2000. she’s currently undecided regarding companies and lives by the words “everything will be okay in the end. if it's not okay, it's not the end”

maybe you should learn more or ask her a question.

▶ PLAY THE CLIP [ harsh_critique.mp4 ]

[ HOT ] "genius" child actor song miyoung: where is she now?

[ +/- ] genius? she was just lucky ㅋㅋ there was never any talent, just powerful parents~      › [ +/- ] aren't they politicians? wouldn't be surprising if they made some deals or waved some money around for her lol

[ +/- ] what's funnier is how none of her roles after her breakout were any good and she never got popular either

[ +/- ] i didn't think anyone would remember her at this point… what is she doing now? i don't even see her promoted anywhere anymore lol she's really a nobody now huh ㅋㅋㅋ

𓆩♡𓆪hanna's eyes glance over the words that have become all too familiar to her, the comments and criticisms she's received since she was a teen becoming something like a norm in her life now. her seemingly blank gaze is not to be confused with listlessness or uncaring, however; no, hanna has just simply accepted that the so-called critiques and digs made at her expense are something that will never go away, at least, not anytime soon.

after all, they're not wrong exactly. what has she done recently? the truth is she really hasn't been doing much and there's no one who is more aware of how lacking she is--and feels--than herself. most of her days are filled with going to classes or doing work for it now that she's a graduate student, and if she's not doing something school-related then she's at her part-time job for extra money instead.

but picking up gigs related to the career she actually wants? well, they're far and few in between. she's managed to land a few roles here and there over the years, even scoring some local modeling gigs when she can, but all of it never amounts to much. barely anyone recognizes her from her childhood (puberty and a name change would do that, she supposes) and without a company backing her, there's only so much hanna can do on her own anyways.

so are the comments out of left field? not at all. does she think people still harping on her past need to move on a get a life? definitely. but part of her--deep down in a crevice of her heart that she doesn't want to admit--is kind of relieved that someone thought she was impactful enough to remember her existence, even if it's not exactly for positive reasons.

as they say, any press is good press - and hanna has gotten used to reading scathing remarks about her and her apparent lack of talent. they may have cooled off and lessened in recent years as her fame wanes and people do begin to forget her but at the same time, in a kind of sick way, it's thanks to how much hate she received that she's learned a thing or two about how to manage her emotions when reading vitriol and rumors about herself, her past, and her parents.

now if only she could stop letting those words get to her and allow her self worth to be diminished - then maybe she'd be more confident in pursuing her dreams.

[ignitesthestxrs]

you somehow managed to write down exactly how i feel about Kun in a way i have never managed

would love to hear more of your thoughts on biases/groups!

sob i could probably write a book on the amount of time/energy i have put into thinking about qian kun, i just think he's neat!! in general i have a real affection for idols who are like, chasing the Dream while also being achingly aware of how much artifice goes into constructing the dream. like, hard work and talent both matter so much, but sometimes you can have both of those things and the company will still keep you on ice, and you have to learn to either live with that or let go of the Dream

also the man is determined to collect every available vehicle license at this point and in an industry full of people who have yet to get their basic car license i think that's sexy

some other boys i really like!

WayV's Xiaojun - SPEAKING OF HARD WORKERS WITH TALENT WHO HAVE BEEN KEPT ON ICE dejun is like. honestly i think inarguably one of the best if not just straight up the best voices in kpop and it is an ATROCITY that he is not plastered across every kdrama OST in the world, i should not be able to move for Xiao Dejun Opportunities.

he's also deeply fucking pilled on the boyfriend model of idolhood, in which he considers it his job to be your Prince, your Supportive Pillar, your Romantic Ideal. it is both extremely funny to see him lean into this from a meta perspective because as a guy around dudes he is - kind of awkward? his personality is Not Good, he's clearly constantly overthinking his every move and he both craves attention and is ill-suited at getting it when he wants it, and he has members of his group (ten lol) who will drag his ass without mercy

but as an Idol amongst Fans, he is 10/10 acing this game. no fucking notes! there's this clip of him at a fansign where his whole body is turned up towards the girl who is speaking and he is clearly giving her every molecule of his soft-voiced, pretty-faced, strong-eyebrowed attention. and when she's gone he will do the exact same thing to the next girl in the line, and i just think there is something so fascinating about a person who can, for two minutes at a time, become Everything for someone.

anyway listen to him sing celine dion your (general you, anon clearly knows this man already) life will change

SHINee's Choi Minho - CHOI MINHO! what can i say about this man that has not been said already. an industry titan, korea's Flaming Charisma, man who saw out 2023 by getting called kind of mid-looking by a rando on twt and ended up trending for days as multiple fandoms rushed to defend the honour of his tiny face.

uh, i just think he's really nice, sob. i have this enduring memory of him on some variety show where guys and girls had to balance on a pole over water (lol) for some competition reason? and all the other dudes were very carefully manner-handsing these women, but minho was just as carefully holding on to the girl and saying something reassuring in her ear, because he considered making sure she was comfortable more important than the overall optics of Can't Touch Girl. and i just think that is emblematic of type of guy he is. he's very loud and competitive! but kind, and that's lovely

also i think you can't like key without also liking minho LOL they are so entwined at this point that the korean GP jokes about their old married schtick. i want to HEAVY asterisk here that i don't think they are fucking or that we would know if they were LMAO while i do think there are idols (like key) who are legibly queer in some sense, i don't think that has any greater implications about their relationship with other men and i definitely don't think that minho is one of those legibly queer idols. but the obvious affection and love they have for each other is very precious regardless, and also very funny, and i am delighted every time they produce something that lets us get a glimpse of the way they are together.

Kim Wooseok - i actually know nothing about this man, he just made this song and i loved it so much i follow all his releases now. what kind of guy is he? the kind of guy who makes red moon i guess

B.I. - honestly my feelings about this guy are not long winded and intense like the feelings Above, but they are? more real? B.I. (hanbin) got done for attempting to purchase weed and LSD, resulting in him getting kicked from his group (iKON) and the suspension of all his contracts/appearances. he was very lucky to escape jail time, and the fact that his career recovered in the wake of this situation is kind of a miracle, but i think does speak to like...what an immense talent he is lol. not that other things don't factor into it, but i don't think he could have made the kind of comeback he has as a soloist in the wake of that situation if he wasn't very, very good, which he is!

my heart really does ache for him and that period of his life though lmfao just because every indication seems to be that he was self-medicating at the time, and while i don't think that even casual drug use should be criminalised, the fact that he was clearly Going Through It at the time and for it to blow up on him in the way that i did gives me that gut swooping horror, like! i can only fucking imagine! how your brain cannibalises itself in that kind of situation!! so i am very glad to see a man thriving these days, and also he makes fucking bangers.

[arabellaflynn]

The Internet has made it rain

A lot of groceries have been landing on my porch lately. Still, actually. 

My roommates are a little confused, and asked me why the internet is mailing me sixteen jars of marinated artichoke hearts? And I had to explain that it's because Amazon is not really set up to let the internet mail me one or two jars of marinated artichoke hearts. They won't drop normal human quantities of perishables from Amazon Fresh on your porch without giving you a delivery window, and they can't book you a delivery window without ruining the "surprise" of getting things off a Wish List, so you can only order off Amazon Pantry, where people shop in bulk when they can't get a ride to Costco. 

Ergo, sixteen jars of marinated artichokes. Which I will eventually eat, because I've also taken custody of sixteen boxes of pasta, a dozen cans of chunked tomatoes, and some amount of canned mushrooms and roasted bell peppers. I am generally a tired/lazy cook, and that's about the level of effort I'll go to for dinner.

They also half-seriously jumped to the conclusion that I was doing sex work. Which was not a bad guess; I do figure modeling, so I've spent a fair amount of my life being naked for money. I would happily be selling used shoes and underwear to people who would pay to appreciate them, but I'm not willing to put my real name or physical address on those packages, and PO Boxes are expensive as fuck in all the nearby ZIP codes. Most perverts are perfectly ordinary people who just have a very niche hobby, but you can't really tell when you have one of the bad apples from a few slobbery emails. Reading between the lines, at least one of my roommates has had a bad experience with an ex who wouldn't go away, so that's another reason not to risk it.

Getting back to the groceries, the Wish List says there's still some stuff that hasn't shown up yet, so I was not all that surprised to see more boxes piled up on my porch last week. I was having kind of a bad time, because our shower wall had fallen in and I was the only one home to let the contractors in at 8 in the morning, so I was not exactly firing on all cylinders. I just saw the boxes and went, 'oh yay, someone sent the half-dozen jars of spaghetti sauce, that's dinner taken care of' and stacked them in the corner for a bit, because pasta sauce will keep until I've had a nap.

Reader, it was not pasta sauce.

I have a few Wish Lists in addition to the main one, and the one that had all the groceries on it. One was called Media Production. I don't remember if I've ever posted that one, and I definitely didn't remember it was public, but that one was actually a running tally of stuff I intended to buy in the unlikely event that I ever got grant money. And everything on it eventually fetched up on my front stairs, save one duplicate item. I have no idea if one person sent it all, or if a bunch of you ganged up on me; it arrived in a few boxes, on a couple different days, and Amazon seems to include a separate 'send a thank you' slip for each item, so there's no telling what orders actually went to the warehouse. So far only one of the anony-mice has picked a unique pseudonym, and all of those things came a while ago in another collection of boxes. 

But, uh, there's a whole bunch of it, is the point. Rather unexpectedly. Thank you!

Self-Portrait (Logitech BRIO, pixels on panel, 2023).

For the record, the collection was basically a starter kit for content creators. None of it is super pricey, it was just stuff I couldn't justify spending the money on without knowing (rather than hoping) I could get some sort of return on it. The standing mic with a pop filter is a desk model with cardioid pickup, and there's a lapel mic clipped to the bendy arm. Bluetooth earbuds are for monitoring, the SSD is 1TB of storage. I've been toying with the idea of turning blog entries into a podcast, a la Mark Crislip -- it would actually be easy, inasmuch as I generally write them by sitting alone in my room and talking to myself for hours on end until I get something that sounds good, then banging it out on a keyboard before I forget it. I have a gaming headset that cost me about $20 and works fine on Zoom, but does not produce audio of a quality I'd put out for people to feed into their ears for an hour at a time. 

The white thing is a digital projector that was intended for a specific project that I'll still probably do at some point, but secretly is also assistive technology. I don't get as much done as I'd like because working on a computer requires me to sit up, and a lot of days, sitting up sucks. Being able to throw the second monitor onto a wall or even the ceiling means I can drag a wireless keyboard over and work from a pile of pillows. That plus the wireless controller means I can pick up streaming or recording let's-plays, which I've been wanting to do for a while, but haven't because sitting in one spot for hours murders my back. 

The Logitech BRIO taking the moody mirror selfie is a 4K webcam, and it's on a basic telescoping tripod that I can use for anything that takes a standard 1/4" screw mount. I've been trying to get clips of rehearsals, performances, new props, toying around in the studio, etc., but the quality is generally not great. Laptop cameras are made for office lighting and close-range subjects, and cell phone cameras are pretty good but unfortunately attached to phones, which are both expensive and also the device off of which I am generally playing the music. I've gotten away with the 1K cam for my one dance film so far, mainly because it was intentionally lo-fi -- as in, if the camera I had was too clear, I would have added grain and noise in post-production -- but outside of that people generally enjoy seeing what tf is going on when they watch a clip of someone dancing. 

[Side note: The rat cage is just out of shot to the right. Casper has the bottom suite. He had no idea what the hell I was doing shuffling doohickeys around on the floor and balancing a mirror on my knee with one hand and poking a computer with the other. I gave him a chocolate chip for his patience when I was done]

It is all generally portable. The webcam even came with its own bag. The stuff I have to hold is mostly wireless. The clip mic does have a cord; I can either plug it into a smartphone and then re-sync the audio in post, or I can plug it into a small Bluetooth transceiver and cast it to the laptop I'm using to record. It's almost, but not quite, equivalent to having a proper lav/beltpack set up. The receiver for a beltpack carries raw audio and can be plugged into anything, whereas the Bluetooth method needs at least one end of the connection to be smart in a way that a laptop is and most soundboards aren't. "Content creation"-style production is all piped through a computer whether it's edited or live, so it makes little difference to me. And frankly, all the wireless microphone systems I've ever tried to use with a computer are dodgy AF, mostly because the transmitter/WiFi/5G frequencies all smash into each other and come out a patchy mess.

So you can all look forward to more media, I guess? It'll take a bit to ramp up, I didn't expect to be doing any of this so soon, so I need to work on scripts and figure out where and when to record.

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[kpop-zone]

Blackpink reaction to their s/o being jealous

Jisoo

Jisoo realized the minute that she came home from work that something was off about you today. Instead of greeting her with one of your wide, contagious smiles and starting to ask her about her day, you only allowed her to leave a quick kiss on your cheek before basically pretending that she wasn’t there. She simply assumed that you had had a bad day today, so she sat down next to you on the couch and tried her best to distract you by telling you funny stories from her day on set. A lot of things had happened today and Jisoo thought she was doing you a favor until a comment from you took her aback.

“...and I complained because he didn’t bring me a coffee, so during the next break Hae-In promptly brought me a large coffee and my favorite snacks.”

She giggled proudly, but you didn’t seem to be as amused as her about this incident.

“Oh yeah, of course perfect Hae-In would bring you a coffee and also knows what your favorite snacks are.”

You praised Hae-In, although your cynical tone made it clear that you weren’t really meaning what you where saying. Perplexed and with narrowed eyes, Jisoo stared at you, beginning to understand why you were acting so strangely.

“Yes, I’m very glad to have him by my side. Filming this drama is a big step for me, and I wouldn’t know what to do without his support.”

She exaggerated to test her theory and like expected, you scoffed in disbelief while rolling your eyes, causing Jisoo to cross her arms defensively.

“You know, I don’t really appreciate you being jealous.”

She stated bluntly and you looked at her with a mixture of embarrassment and anger reflecting on your face.

“I’m not jealous.”

You scoffed, but Jisoo knew that you were lying. You were terrible at hiding your emotions opposing to her. Although right now, Jisoo didn’t feel like hiding hers either.

“Of course you are, but I don’t know why. I’m just doing my job and I’ve never given you a reason to mistrust me.”

She replied calmly yet determined to show you that you had upset her.

“I- it’s not like I mistrust you.”

You stuttered after you had caught up to her mood and Jisoo looked at you expectantly in order to give you a chance to explain yourself.

“I didn’t even want to be jealous, but you spent so much time on set and... I don’t know what Hae-In’s intentions are with you.”

You mumbled sheepishly, causing Jisoo to sigh.

“Y/N...I don’t care what Hae-In’s intentions are. You don’t need to worry about him, our relationship is purely professional. And about the lack of time I have for you...I promise I will make it up to you once the filming is over, ok?”

She had softened her tone again and reached over to take your hand, causing you to smile.

“Ok. I’m sorry for the little tantrum.”

You grinned apologetically and Jisoo giggled in amusement before pulling you into her arms. As long as this would be the exception and not the rule, she could live with your jealousy.

Jennie

Jennie had to try her hardest not to burst out in laughter as she observed out of the corner of her eye how you almost exploded with jealousy. She was talking with some newcomer model who apparently thought that he was a big shot now just because he was invited to the Chanel after party. For almost ten minutes he had already told her about all his successes in order to woo her. Usually, Jennie would have turned him down a long time ago, but seeing you getting so agitated over this was giving her great pleasure. Therefore, she let him boast some more while keeping an eye on you before eventually deciding that she had tortured you enough.

“Excuse me please.”

Jennie smiled at the model who looked at her dumbfounded, apparently never having been interrupted  in his life before. Unbothered by his attempts to stop her from walking away, she turned on her heel and headed straight for you with a smirk playing on her lips.

“I swear to god I would have ripped his head off if he would have touched you one more time.”

You gritted through your teeth as soon as Jennie was within earshot.

“What’s wrong baby?”

She replied sweetly, pretending to be clueless.

“Don’t feign innocence. I know that you did that on purpose.”

You grumbled, causing Jennie to giggle before stepping closer to you in order to loosely wrap her arms around your neck.

“Aw don’t be angry baby. You just look so cute when you’re jealous.”

She cooed and you looked at her grumpily.

“I’m going to make you regret that later.”

You replied while pulling her closer by her waist to make sure that no one else would overstep their boundaries tonight, causing Jennie to smirk. Mission accomplished.

Chaeyoung

Never had you ever thought that you would regret accompanying your girlfriend to work like you did right now. While clenching your jaw tightly, you watched how Chaeyoung cuddled up to Seungjoo and you felt a wave of jealousy washing over you. You knew that it was ridiculous. This was just a music video shoot after all. But somehow the way that Seungjoo pulled your girlfriend close simply drove you insane. Tensed up, you watched one take after the other until the PD was finally satisfied with the results and called it a day. Relieved, you jumped off your chair, ready to finally leave this set, but Chaeyoung took her time to thank every single staff member; especially Seungjoo of course. By the time, she was finally walking up to you with a big smile on her face, you had considered a thousand times already to simply storm off.

“I’m sorry it took so long! But it looks so amazing, doesn’t it?”

Chaeyoung squealed in joy, completely oblivious to the jealousy that was seething within you.

“Yes, amazing. Can we go now?”

You answered brusquely, much to the confusion of your girlfriend who still complied to your wish though. Together you made your way to the dressing room before leaving the filming location after Chaeyoung had changed into her comfortable clothes. Her excitement from before was visibly reduced now and she silently sat beside you in the car until she broke the silence eventually.

“Don’t you like the video?”

She asked insecurely, causing you to sigh. You had to stop making her feel bad for something that wasn’t her fault.

“I do like it.”

You replied while trying to fake a smile to make your words more believable.

“Then why do you seem to be so angry?”

Chaeyoung tilted her head in confusion and you tried your best to avoid her gaze. What was the best way to tell her?

“I just...I didn’t like the way that Seungjoo touched you.”

You blurted out before hanging your head bashfully.

“Oh...I’m sorry I didn’t think about how that would make you feel.”

Chaeyoung mumbled taken aback, instantly making you feel guilty for worrying her.

“No don’t apologize, it’s ridiculous.”

You replied and your girlfriend looked at you pensively.

“I mean it is ridiculous indeed, because I would never cheat on you with Seungjoo. But I also understand where you are coming from.”

She reasoned, causing you to sigh while resting your forehead on her shoulder.

“I don’t even deserve you, Chaeng. You are way too good to me.”

You whined, feeling like you didn’t deserve the amount of understanding that your girlfriend showed you.

“True. I feel like you should start repaying me. I accept various types of payment. Food, cuddles, gifts...”

Chaeyoung said dead serious, causing you to look at her before both of you started bursting out in laughter. Maybe your first way to repay her should be by stopping to be a jealous prick...

Lalisa

Grimly, you scrolled through your Twitter feed while cursing yourself for following several fan accounts for your girlfriend. All of them were talking about the same thing: how cute your girlfriend and Chaeyoung had looked together at their the fansign today. You were happy that your girlfriend had found her soulmates in her members and that they managed to make her life a little less crazy; you really were. But somehow you just couldn’t stop the green monster from overcoming you every once in a while. They spent so much time together and you knew that all of them were superior to you in every way. It was just so hard to watch them being this close. Frustrated, you spotted a clip that showed your girlfriend kissing Chaeyoung on the cheek, causing her to blush sheepishly. All those ‘Chaelisa’ shippers were really getting under your skin, even if you hated yourself for it. You knew that Lisa was the most loyal girlfriend that you could have ever wished for, nevertheless, you couldn’t help but to be jealous when you saw her pampering Chaeyoung like that. Shouldn’t that be you?

“What are you watching?”

Lisa’s voice suddenly appeared right next to your ear, managing to rip you from your brooding session. Panicked, you tried to lock your phone before your girlfriend could see what you were looking at, but Lisa had already managed to take it out of your hands. Curiously, she watched the video before looking at you again with a smirk on her face.

“Is someone jealous?”

She cooed in amusement and you looked away bashfully.

“No.”

You scoffed, but Lisa snickered knowingly.

“I think you are. Don’t you like it when I kiss other people?”

She sat down beside you and poked your cheek to annoy you.

“You can do whatever you want.”

You grumbled while swatting away her hand, causing her to giggle even more.

“Oh really? So Chaeyoung and I can do even more fan service?”

She smirked and you instantly glared at her.

“Don’t you dare.”

You blurted out before you coudl think, causing Lisa to grin triumphantly.

“Why not? I thought you weren’t jealous?”

She put her finger on her lips pensively to mock you and you rolled your eyes.

“Ok fine. Maybe I am, so don’t make it worse.”

You huffed in defeat to save yourself from even more torture. Smugly, your girlfriend giggled before suddenly putting her hand behind your head to hug you against her chest.

“You are so adorable, Y/N. Don’t worry, baby, I only have eyes for you.”

She cooed and you hesitantly gave in to her embrace. Maybe your girlfriend was mocking you right now, but you couldn’t say that her reassurance didn’t feel good...

[kanmom51]

JM JK timeline.- my observations how they grew over the years

2017 - Part 4

Disclaimer: these are my own opinions and conclusions.  Feel free to disagree, but hate or aggression will be unacceptable.

16-17 November 2017 BTS interviews in the US. JM sneezes and JK thinks it’s so adorable.

18 November 2017?

Can’t seem to find the original interview, but I think it was done same day as the BTS Tease 2017 American Music Awards Performance, E! Red Carpet & Award Shows interview.

This is where we find out that JK loves to take photos of sky and JM (people)…

JK doesn’t point a finger at JM, just signs with his hand in JM’s direction.  But  RM automatically looking at JM as JK signs in that direction makes things pretty clear as to JK’s meaning, as if we didn’t know...

19 November 2017 – KRBE AMA’s backstage interview – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fwSuGBU5R4 . Band members asked who’s the best with the ladies.  JK turns towards RM and asks: “V”?, but RM and V point to JK, who is all flustered.  JM smiling uncomfortably.  It was actually a heart breaking moment for me.  

19 November 2017 AMA’s interview – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfHZYgNgHVU . JK playing with JM’s jacket.  JM hints for him to stop, but JK keeps doing it, so JM finally kind of snaps at him to stop but JK needs to continue to touch JM. JM softens up after and pulls JK forward to talk.

19 Nov 2017 Zach Sang backstage AMA interview - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STLDAdhuLzc .

Not so big, but still an honourable mention from me.  At the start of the interview JM, who is standing directly behind Hobi (V is standing behind JK), had one hand on Hobi’s shoulder and another hand on JK’s shoulder. Having a hand on JK is not because he is closest to him.  Not the obvious solution to place his hands in that situation. That would be two hands on Hobi, just like later on in the interview V places both his hands on JK’s shoulders.  It was just something I noticed and found interesting.

JM and JK are clearly in love and attracted to each other.  JM is also JK’s anchor, his calming waters.  But they are also super professional, always were.

So why do we get so much content during these interviews?  I mean, isn’t it something they are trying to hide, and if they were professional why can’t they keep their hands to themselves?  

We need to remember that the boys have to sit or stand for hours upon hours on end doing interview after interview, like an interview conveyor belt.  They are tired, worn out, so much so, that at some point their guard is let down.  They will turn to each other for comfort or support or will say or do something impulsive, that they otherwise wouldn’t have done.  That’s when we usually get to enjoy our famous interview Jikook moments.  

20 November 2017 BTS post AMA’s night party Vlive - https://www.vlive.tv/video/49001 .

Remember tipsy JK?  Tipsy JK is the best, right?  

The way he behaves in this Vlive you would think he is outright drunk.

Now, I know that towards the end of the live, when the members want to make a toast, JK does mention he cannot drink in the US, but if he really wasn’t drinking, why do the other members call him ‘loose’?  Maybe he had a sip or two or three or more off camera???

Drunk on alcohol or drunk on adrenaline, whatever it is, he lacks inhibition.  

He is constantly looking to JM.  The members start talking about how they felt during the performance.  And here ‘happy’ JK flies into action.  He says “I wasn’t that nervous.  Do you know why?”

JM asks why, and J-hope grabs JM’s shoulder, telling him “don’t ask him”, knowing full well this isn’t something we should be hearing from a JK lacking inhibitions.  

JM turns to the camera smiling and tells us: “let’s say that he wasn’t nervous at all”, to be followed by Suga telling JK: “you’re too loosened”, and RM saying: “he lacks sincerity”.  

Drunk or not, alcohol or adrenaline, it doesn’t really matter.   Either way, the members are trying to silence him, afraid of what he might say.

At this point they try to move on, only that JK hasn’t finished, and he goes right back to not being nervous.  He says: “the reason I wasn’t nervous was…”, looking JM in the eye and puts his hand on JM’s shoulder.  He leans back and JM claps his hands and says: “I see”, and starts laughing.  

At this point you see JK realises he literally put his foot in it, lowers his head and JM pulls his T-shirt laughing.

So, then JK tries to fix it, saying “because of Army”.  Yeah JK, we believe you.  You seem to be really sincere, I mean, your band mates are really buying it too… 

Tipsy-like JK, I love him.

21-24 November 2017. I said I wouldn’t do it.  I promised I wouldn’t do it.  I just couldn’t help myself.  Please accept my apologies in advance, but I just couldn’t leave these photos JM uploaded to Twitter out.  I mean, how could I leave out JM’s uploading JK photographs of ‘Sky’ & ‘People’???  That just wouldn’t be right.

Run BTS episode 28, released end November 2017 – JM dressing up JK with his style of clothing.  The members reactions when JM threw the rose and it fell behind JK.  JK and JM were pretty pleased.  JK loved modelling JM’s clothes, also loved making JM laugh by imitating him as a model.

2 December 2017 MMA’s.  Pulling JK to the front to talk when receiving the award, JM moving from Hobi’s side to stand by JK.  The closeness, the looks.  Walking off stage side by side.  

Same day as the very famous clip, when JK sitting behind JM, and JM turns back to him, while JK is singing “I remember our first kiss, I close my eyes whenever I can and go to the farthest place”.  Both being watched by Jin, who smirks, but when remembers there’s a camera, becomes serious again.

9 December 2017. JK & JM Vlive.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GA9VjPylgDA .

Someone please get the fire extinguisher, because JK’s heart is burning.  The level of flirtatious behaviour, I might need the extinguisher for myself.  

When showing the group photo fan JK says how Hobi looks attractive, only for JM to ask “what about me?”  Of course JK agrees he is handsome too.  

This is how those two behave when they are not alone in the room!!  I mean… You just can’t put those two together for a live.  If this is what happens when they are not alone, what would happen if they were alone in the room (NJ live 2019 Ahem)…  

9-10 December 2017 Wings tour last concerts in Seoul.  JK being bold.

What I left out:  

This year is filled with so much content, I just couldn’t put it all in, so there a so many cute moments I have left out. Also, Twitter (ahem, some at least), some stage flirtation, including JK’s full attention on JM when speaking, not every hug or touch.

I now know that matching outfits has much significance in SK culture.  I didn’t know that when I first had that gut feeling JM and JK were involved. As far as I am concerned, there is enough content even without addressing this subject, so this too I left out.

 After JM and JK get back from their trip they seem even closer, if that was possible.  They also seem a bit bolder.  I mean GCFT people, if that is not boldness I don’t know what is.

I thought 2016 was a plentiful year?  Well 2017 surpassed it by miles and miles.  The amount of content with the two is enormous.  So much so, that there is so much I did not add to my timeline, just because I felt it was too much already.  

The abundance in content, to me, is a sign not only of the two getting closer, but also getting louder. Allowing themselves to be seen. This relative new freedom would probably be a result of not only the growth of the strength of their bond, but also, in my opinion, them ‘coming out’ to the group, and most probably, at least by the end of the year, to the most important members of their production team.  

This allows them freedom to act more as themselves with the members and production team, while also relying on the latter to ‘hide’ what needs to be hidden, if necessary, and to protect them, sometimes even from themselves. Even if they didn’t all out ‘come out’ to the staff around them, well, by then I think they either more or less know what’s going on, or were turning a blind eye to it. Whichever is true, at the end of the day it didn’t matter.  They are all bound by non-disclosure agreements, and would not dare to leak anything they might have seen.  

I also believe that the boys, mostly, have a very good relationship with the staff, and as such, none of them would do anything that could potentially really hurt not only JK and JM, but the group as a whole.

JK and JM, by the end of 2017 are finding their groove.  There is less pushing and pulling noticeable.  They are madly in love and are finding their pace.  

  To be continued…

[xb-squaredx]

Rise of the V-Tuber

As a platform, YouTube has gone through a variety of “eras,” wherein a particular trend catches on and defines the website for some time. In the early days, you had funny cat videos, then Let’s Plays of video games became rather popular, and now we seem to be deeply entrenched into a new era that has exploded in popularity as of late. If you’ve frequented the website at all in the past few months, it is almost inescapable. Cutesy, anime-styled avatars that play games, sing, chat with viewers, or even cook! What does it all mean? Where did they come from? Are they here to stay? Most importantly, how does one crawl out of the rabbit hole once they fall into it? All that and more will be revealed as we delve deep into the wacky, wholesome and sometimes worrying world of V-Tubers. (photo credit YuuGiJoou. Check her out on YouTube, Twitter or Twitch!) 

THE ORIGIN

To begin properly, let’s define the subject. A “V-Tuber” is a “Virtual YouTuber,” someone who streams on YouTube (or any other streaming platform) using a digital avatar as a proxy. The streamer in question typically uses face-tracking software so that the avatar can emote (or at least attempt to emote) to match their own reactions as they provide entertainment for their audience. While it may seem as if V-Tubers are rather new, in doing research on the topic, you’d be surprised how far back things go.

For starters, the concept of a virtual celebrity has been around for a while, with one of the most notable efforts being Hatsune Miku, a Vocaloid voicebank program. Hatsune Miku is every bit as famous and beloved as a flesh-and-blood singer or entertainer despite being nothing but voice synthesizer software. Vocaloid got its start back in 2000, eventually being reworked into a commercial product in 2004, though it wasn’t until the programs started receiving anthropomorphic character designs that it took off, with Hatsune Miku’s own debut in 2007, and the rest is history.

Many will consider “Virtual Idol” Kizuna Ai as the true pioneer of what we call a V-Tuber today, making her debut in 2016, however one could make an argument that Ami Yamato, a 3D-animated vlogging channel debuting in 2013, beat her to the punch. Honorable mention of course goes to Any Malu, a Brazilian animated YouTube vlogger who debuted in 2015 and eventually gained her own show on Cartoon Network Brazil. While Ai may not be the first, she is undoubtedly considered to be the codifier that many later V-Tubers would follow. Ai’s entire shtick was being an AI program that wanted to connect with humans, playing games, singing or interacting with fans. Following her explosive popularity, it was clear that other companies would follow the model established by Ai, with their own spins on it of course.

Nijisanji, established in 2018, proved that this trend could be incredibly profitable, becoming trailblazers in their own right as they established various “branches” of their company in several countries with their own unique performers that could cater to a wider range of viewers. As of this writing, Nijisanji employs over 164 “Virtual Livers,” most of which come from their Japan branch, alongside their Korean, Chinese, Indian and Indonesian branches. Similarly, there is the Hololive corporation, which saw substantial growth throughout 2020 in particular. Established in 2016 originally as Cover Corporation, at first Hololive was the name of an app meant for use in 3D motion capture, though following Nijisanji’s success, Hololive was rebranded as a V-Tuber competitor and also features a variety of colorful characters spread across many different main branches. There is of course the Japanese branch, as well as Hololive Indonesia, the relatively new (and highly successful) Hololive English, a defunct Chinese branch and an all-male Holostar branch in Japan.

Other, smaller V-Tuber groups have sprung up alongside the corporate powerhouses, such as VOMS Project, established in March of 2020, as an independent trio of streamers, and more recently at the tail-end of 2020 with V-Shojo, featuring a group of Western streamers (who ironically mostly stick to Twitch). Outside of this of course are the countless independent streamers who utilize avatars for one reason or another across many different platforms. Even prominent Twitch streamers seem to be getting in on the act, such as Pokimane, though that one has not come without some backlash. So consider that a rough history of how V-Tubers got started in Japan but how did they gain a more global fanbase? Well, in a word…”memes.”

GOING INTERNATIONAL

I won’t deny there had to be at least SOME overseas fans who enjoyed watching V-Tubers before they became more well-known, but for many Western fans their introductions to V-Tubers in general typically came from viral videos taken from various streams that spread like wildfire, eventually getting people curious enough to check them out. For Kizuna Ai, her playthrough of Resident Evil 7 gained notoriety for her mimicking the cursing of the English-speaking player character, and for Hololive, arguably the first real Western breakthrough for the company came from a now infamous moment from Sakura Miko’s stream of Grand Theft Auto 5. 

Also from Hololive, Inugami Korone in particular had a variety of memes spread about her due to playthroughs from various games that even got acknowledged by the developers themselves. Her playthrough of DOOM 2016 resulted in a short-lived Easter egg implanted into DOOM Eternal, and her video on Banjo-Kazooie (and the animated Eekum Bokum fan video that spawned from that) got the attention of Rare, Xbox and even Grant Kirkhope, the composer for the original game.

Honestly, the real unsung heroes of sorts for V-Tuber popularity might just come from foreign fans that would clip and translate various moments from streams that helped to build an international audience. There are dozens of Twitter handles and YouTube channels that specialize in spreading these clips around and if you factor in the YouTube algorithm, once you see one video your feed will be flooded with similar videos. It is no surprise fans call getting into the fandom “falling into the rabbit hole.” When you look at the more popular members of Hololive, often the ones with various viral clips have the higher subscription counts. In the case of Aki Rosenthal, one of the older members, her sub count exploded after a fan translated a section from a then-recent stream in which she talked candidly about her less-than-stellar growth as well as the difficulties of standing out in general. While at one point having the lowest amount of subscribers (well below 200,000), in the months since that video her sub count has more than doubled going past 400,000. Sometimes the talent needs a little push.

Now, within Hololive itself, I think Kiryu Coco is also partially responsible for expanding the fanbase, being one of the few employed talents with the ability to speak English (likely a native speaker), she gained a large international fanbase as she would work to translate what she or other members were talking about on the fly, and later on established an ongoing series where she would directly engage with fans over websites like Reddit and “rate” the various memes they would send in. Coco also pushed for establishing what would become Hololive English, which has proven to be a gigantic success, each member of that branch blowing past more established talent’s subscriber counts, with Gawr Gura becoming the first Hololive V-Tuber to pass one million subscribers and just recently passed the two million mark. So yeah, V-Tubers are a big deal now but…what is about them that makes people want to watch them in the first place?

THE APPEAL

So, right off the bat, if we’re going to ask why someone would want to watch a V-Tuber I think it’s fair to ask that of virtually ANY internet personality. The reason why someone would watch Game Grumps or Pokimane or Jojo Siwa or whoever else is the same reason they’d watch Kizuna Ai or Inugami Korone or Ironmouse: they’re entertaining. I guess that seems like a bit of a cop-out answer, right? There MUST be a reason why V-Tubers have blown up in popularity over the last few years, so are there things that make these particular Internet entertainers stand out from the crowd?

Undoubtedly, the fact that these streamers are playing a character is a deviation from the norm, though the dedication to staying “in character” seems to vary from person to person, and over time many V-Tubers tend to open up and are far more genuine. At any rate, even the best actor out there can’t possibly make up various daily happenings or childhood stories for their characters on the fly, day after day, stream after stream. Still, I’d imagine the decision to use a proxy as opposed to their real self can be liberating, a mask they can wear to speak more freely or a role they can play up for entertainment. For the most part, I think the persona aspect is mostly harmless fun that makes the streamer seem more distinct; ask yourself which is more eye-catching: some normal human playing a game and occasionally cracking a joke, or a one-eyed pirate girl discussing her raunchy past? Or maybe you’d rather watch the grim reaper practice her raps? Even talent that don’t really play up their character much still often have interesting character designs; we have princesses, dragons, devils, robots and more. A little something for everyone!

Speaking a bit more personally, I find it interesting to watch streamers from an entirely different culture and how they interact with fans or engage with games. I find it funny when Inugami Korone or Sakura Miko plays more Western-oriented games like the DOOM series or Grand Theft Auto V respectively. Often times they’re blown away by the culture clash, or they view these games through a different lens since it’s so different from what they’re used to. In particular, those two are just genuine goofballs that are funny all on their own. More chat-focused streams are an interesting view into daily life in Japan, such as the stories Houshou Marine tells, though obviously a given V-Tuber’s viewpoint isn’t a metric you can apply to the whole country, but she’s still interesting to listen to. Takanashi Kiara is also notable for her multilingual skills, which has helped her bridge the gap a bit more between the various Hololive members through her Holotalk segments where she interviews other V-Tubers. Outside of Hololive, Amano Pikamee from VOMS Project is just a bundle of energy that’s fun to watch as she rages in Super Mario 64 or Super Mario Sunshine. Her tea-kettle laugh is also just kinda charming. The V-Shojo group stands out for being super vulgar compared to the more corporate V-Tubers and while I don’t watch them all that much, there’s still some fun chaos to be had. Still though, I think there’s one big elephant in the room that would also help explain V-Tubers catching on at this specific point in time: the pandemic. Streaming is one of the few jobs not really affected by the pandemic, and with people stuck inside, they’re more likely to scroll through YouTube or Twitter and find a funny clip and then…well, you know… It’s one bright spot in an otherwise dark time…but I’d be lying if I said it was all sunshine and rainbows.

THE DARK UNDERBELLY

The overall idea behind V-Tubers, at least in Japan, seems to be an extension of Idol Culture…and uh…if you know anything about Idol Culture in Japan, it is all kinds of scummy. Exploitative, filled to the brim with harmful rules and regulations and largely catering to some vary unsavory “fans,” I’ll make it no mystery that I find it incredibly distasteful. Look no further than what happened to Minegishi Minami from the idol group AKB48. To keep a long story short, the obsession with “purity” and being this idealized Japanese beauty means idols are effectively locked into their work, unable to discuss or in many cases partake in romantic relationships, as that would make them less “desirable” to their audience. This unfortunately does at times extend to V-Tubers.

Take Tokoyami Towa, who was suspended for some time and forced to make an apology video for…having some male voices briefly heard over Discord during an Apex Legend stream. She even lost a lot of subscribers and support from Japanese fans following this, though once learning of this, Western fans flocked to her as a show of support. Hololive has also dealt with a variety of issues coming from Chinese fans; though that’s a particular hornet’s nest I don’t want to delve into here too much. To sum it up, fans can get obsessive and toxic, which can lead to the talent being harassed. It is for this reason, it is generally agreed upon by fans to not delve too deep into the personal lives of the V-Tubers, for fear of being doxxed and the illusion being broken. These kinds of issues certainly bring up some interesting questions regarding how talent should be treated moving forward.

Are these V-Tubers characters or just alternate sides of real people? Where does the fantasy end and reality begin? Ultimately, the lines are somewhat blurred. Talent certainly brings some of their own personality into the performance, but they are forced to remain anonymous and as can be seen in the case of Kizuna Ai, they are not always in control of the character they’ve been given. Kizuna Ai’s initial actress was for a time replaced, and “clones” of the character with different voices and personalities started to spring up, likely as an attempt to compete with the likes of Nijisanji and Hololive. In cases where V-Tubers retire from the industry, or “graduate” as some call it, all of their hard work cultivating a fanbase might end up being for nothing as they were forced behind a proxy that isn’t truly themselves and I imagine it can be hard to start over again from square one. Never mind the attempts to step out of the shadow of your older work. Man, Perfect Blue was downright prophetic at times, huh?

I don’t want to dwell on the negatives too much though. It’s worth noting for one thing that Nijisanji seems relatively lax regarding how their talent operates, whereas it seems Hololive is the standout for adhering to the idol ideal, though considering how some of the talent acts (in particular Kiryu Coco), one has to wonder if they’re softening their stances a bit. Many V-Tubers generally talk about the positive aspects of the industry and being given the opportunity to reach people from all over the world. Shortly after Ina’s debut in Hololive English, she was actually brought to tears when told her art streams convinced people to get into (or back into) the hobby, which had been one of her goals for becoming a V-Tuber in the first place. Ironmouse, now a member of V-Shojo, has an immune system disorder that keeps her bedridden and forced to stay inside, so the opportunities afforded by this particular type of streaming has allowed her to reach out to others and as per her own words, has changed her life for the better. While there are definitely “fans” that go too far, corporate practices that are outdated, or harmful and a slew of potential unfortunate implications, ultimately I think most people out there are just looking for quality entertainment, and these digital proxies give these entertainers an outlet to connect with fans in a way that they might not have otherwise.

CONCLUSION

V-Tubers are in a bit of a boom at the moment, though I can’t imagine it’ll last forever. We’re quickly approaching market saturation and after a point, people can only follow so many streamers at once. Hell, as I was editing this up, it seems as if prominent YouTuber Pewdiepie is about to step into the ring, so who knows what kind of shake-up that could bring. The bubble will undoubtedly burst and what becomes of V-Tubers then is still up in the air. Or who knows, maybe V-Tubers will endure and replace all entertainment and we’re just watching the beginning of a cyberpunk dystopia. Stranger things have happened! Considering the world is still reeling from the effects of the pandemic, that should largely have an impact on the popularity of V-Tubers for some time to come, though as we emerge into a “new normal” in the world, it’ll be interesting to see how these entertainers continue to evolve. Now, I suppose there is one question I never quite went over before now, isn’t there? How does one escape the V-Tuber rabbit hole? Well, I’m sorry to say but there is no escape.

Enjoy your new home!

-B

[ootori-sibs]

The Ootori princess

Chapter 8: Sister knows best

Tw: discussions of trauma, implied abuse, implied transphobia

Yuuichi was incredibly pleased with how the day had gone, especially with how Kyoya had gotten to spent time with the hosts. The meeting he had that day wasn't nearly as enjoyable, father had been there, and although the meeting was perfectly pleasant, Yuuichi couldn't help but think about how that man had been treating Kyoya for years. Father seemed oblivious for Yuuichi's hatred, or at least chose to ignore it. In father's eyes, Yuuichi could do no wrong- he was the heir after all.

Yuuichi hated that sentiment, especially when, after the meeting, father had asked if Kyoya was behaving- not if he was doing well, or if he was happy, no: if he was behaving. It turned Yuuichi's stomach to realise that was how father saw the kid, that was how father assumed everyone saw Kyoya. He had informed father that Kyoya's was very happy and was doing well, it was disgusting how father looked skeptical.

But Yuuichi had almost forgotten that when he sat down with Kyoya and Kyoya's friends for some food. It was sweet how Kyoya had fallen asleep with a hen on his lap, it had amused Yuuichi greatly and clearly it had amused the hosts as well. At that moment, Yuuichi sat in his office, going over paperwork, he didn't really care for this stuff, he couldn't help but worry about Kyoya- oh and he had good reason to worry. The Souh child had mentioned Kyoya wearing dresses twice at school, and Yuuichi simply had to pray that his baby brother hadn't gotten mocked for it. He wondered once again why Kyoya kept dressing like that, it always seemed in situations where none of the family could see too… Yuuichi hoped Kyoya knew that he at least would support him through anything.

This paperwork, it was just some boring admin work for a few of the family hospitals, and some signing of papers for the new wellness centre- Kyoya and his friends had tested it for them just this year, and now it was going to open. Yuuichi thought it might be nice to bring Kyoya and maybe a friend or two on a nice week or maybe weekend there, but it wouldn't be open for a little while; there were still a few kinks to work out.

After he finished the paperwork, it was half past eleven at night, he sighed, glancing at his coffee, he should probably turn in for the night. He approached Kyoya's room, knocking gently on the door before peering around the door, he saw the hosts all sat around the room, talking. Yuuichi didn't know what they'd been talking about, as they had become silent when he entered. He smiled at all of them, "you guys should probably start turning in for the night, I'm going to bed now myself. Oh, and Fujioka? Can I speak with you in the morning? I have some questions." He figured since Kyoya never had that dress before going shopping with the commoner boy, that it must be where he got it from, he may as well ask.

The commoner nodded, though, like the others, he looked confused. Kyoya was clearly racking his brain for reasons Yuuichi might have to speak with the commoner, it seemed he couldn't find one. "Goodnight then." He smiled again before ducking back out of the room and continuing to his own.

Laying in bed, Yuuichi thought about how he always thought Kyoya looked much more natural in more feminine clothing, how when Kyoya was very little, they used to play games- princesses and dragons… Kyoya always wanted to play the princess just like Fiyumi, taking the little pointy hat from her and running around in a too-large shirt. He had never thought much of it; of course Kyoya would want to be like Fiyumi, Yuuichi certainly wasn't the best role model. The more and more he thought about it, however, he wondered if there was more to it then that, he'd seen Kyoya wearing that dress after all…

Yuuichi was not a morning person, none of the family were. He did manage to drag himself out of bed though, heading to the kitchen to find Yuki already awake, making a large amount of scrambled eggs. She smiled at him, "awake already sir? I have to tell you that one of your brother's friends came down here at five am, asking for cake. Is it alright that I let him have the rest of the cake?"

"Oh that's odd," Yuuichi started making some coffee, amused by Kyoya's friends' antics, "sure, I don't mind." He decided to make more coffee, for Kyoya and his friends. Maddie entered the kitchen at that point, smiling and nodding to them. Yuuichi returned the smile, raising his mug, "morning Maddie, could you go wake Kyoya and his friends for him? Thank you."

Maddie nodded, "alright, I'll get to doin that then, you got the coffee ready sir?" Yuuichi handed her the tray and she headed back out of the kitchen, likely to Kyoya's room.

Yuuichi sat down, sipping his coffee as Yuki put a plate of eggs in front of him. "Thank you, Yuki. Once you're done with your duties you may take the rest of the day off."

"Oh! Thank you sir!!" She beamed, clearly happy by this news as she rides to complete her duties in record time. Yuuichi knew that she'd mostly be spending the day playing video games, that or watching other people play video games- Yuuichi never understood how that was fun for anyone but each to their own he supposed.

Kyoya and his friends came downstairs after a while, happily eating the eggs they were given. Kyoya was quiet, grumbling under his breath about having to wake up. The others seemed happy though, laughing and chatting and greeting Yuuichi with glee, Yuuichi was glad Kyoya had such nice friends.

He had pulled the commoner aside just like he said he would, sighing, he looked down at him, "did Kyoya get his dress from you?"

The boy paused, looking up at Yuuichi in concern. It was clear that the common boy was taking the defensive stance, "there's nothing wrong with him experimenting." The boy's tone was harsh and biting, Yuuichi realised the only experience this boy had had with Kyoya's family was witnessing father hit him…

He put his hands up, taking a step back, "I didn't say there was, I just wanted to know if you gave it to him, what else do you know?" He sighed, "I'm so sorry if you perceive me as a threat, but I just want to support my brother. Is there anything you can tell me?"

Haruhi looked so surprised, but smiled softly, "of course sir, I was throwing away some old feminine clothes and senpai had argued that it 'wasn't' feminine so I told him he could take it. He hasn't actually told me anything but he did keep asking me about how gender works, so I do have to wonder." He reached out and put a hand on Yuuichi's arm, "I'm glad Kyoya has someone he can look to for comfort, we all worry about him."

Yuuichi was equally as glad that Kyoya had friends, the idea of Kyoya being supported and cared for. He smiled down at the boy, "thank you, I hope you also look out for him." Haruhi nodded and Yuuichi sighed with relief, "thank you."

Kyoya was once again spending the day with his friends, they were heading out for the day so Yuuichi had an entire day to himself. He had a few days off so he did what any busy person does with a day off; he calls his sister.

"Hello?"

Fiyumi had picked up almost instantly and made Yuuichi smile, she was always so punctual. "Good morning Fiyumi, are you free today? Kyoya's out with his friends and I'm not working so did you want to go to the spa or something like that?"

"Oh yes! Akito did tell me that Kyoya moved in with you! How wonderful! Uh-huh," there was the sound of clicking- likely Fiyumi checking her schedule, "oh awesome! Yeah I've got the whole day free up until maybe five? 'Cause it's date night so me and my husband have a reservation somewhere really nice, he has yet to tell me where." She giggled softly, god, Yuuichi adored his little sister, "what spa did you want to go to? A nearby one?"

That was how Yuuichi found himself sitting in a sauna, discussing Kyoya with his sister. "-so I think he clings to you because you remind him of father but nicer," Fiyumi was probably right, Yuuichi nodded in agreement, she was so good at reading Kyoya.

"Yeah… enough about trauma, do you remember when we used to play princesses and dragons?"

Fiyumi nodded, brushing some hair out of her eyes, "yeah! And Kyoya always used to be a princess! He was such a sweet little kid…"

"He's been wearing dresses again."

"Huh? Has he?"

"Yeah," Yuuichi started, unsure if he should even be saying this, "he got a dress from his friend and I saw him wearing it in front of the mirror- he's gotten new hair clips too. Apparently he's worn dresses as part of his club activities too."

Fiyumi nodded slowly, "ok, so is that something we should be worried about?"

"Not really, I'm just glad he feels safe enough to explore himself like that…"

She chuckled softly, "you're his brother, he trusts you when you tell he's safe there." She very clearly pauses, examining his expression, "you are worried, aren't you, Yuui? You're worried Kyoya will find something whilst exploring and you won't be able to protect him from everyone who wouldn't like that. I'm right aren't I? I can tell."

…She was right, that was the one thing Yuuichi was scared of. His biggest fear was not being able to protect his siblings… and if Kyoya kept dressing the way he had in his room, even going so far as to do so in public… would Yuuichi be able to protect him? He hated how well Fiyumi could read him. Yuuichi nodded, sighing, "I just want to make sure he's safe…"

"I know Yuui, I know. I feel the exact same way, but you know… you've gotta give him some room, has he said anything about it to you yet?"

He shook his head, "no, he doesn't even know I saw him wearing the dress…"

Fiyumi paused, sighing heavily and massaging her temples. "Yuuichi…" He suddenly felt even more guilty, Fiyumi might be younger than him but she was always the more emotionally mature one. "Don't you dare mention that to anyone, ok? Ok good. Now Kyoya doesn't have to say anything to you if he doesn't want to, and nothing might come of this. But if he does say something then you still don't bring up what you saw, you take everything he says as gospel and you listen and give him the space he needs, ok? This is our baby brother, he deserves the safe space you promised him."

Yuuichi nodded, understanding that she was completely correct. He felt guilty when he realised he'd already tried to forcefully support Kyoya, what with the apron… god, he was stupid. He sighed, "you're right, you're always right. Thank you Fiyumi, I needed that."

"Just speaking my mind," she shrugs, smiling.

After the sauna and a deep tissue massage, they went to get lunch, sitting down in a lovely little café. They both got coffees and some food; Fiyumi ordered soup whilst Yuuichi got a small pie. It was nice to just sit and talk about everything and nothing. It seemed that Fiyumi had something on her mind, however, "I have to ask, how did father react when you told him you were taking Kyoya?"

Yuuichi paused, remembering the argument he'd had with father, "well… I'd been screaming at him for over an hour at that point, and I slammed the office door after telling him I was taking Kyoya so I'm not sure how he reacted," he chuckled lightly, remembering father's face, "I didn't give him the chance to."

Fiyumi's eyes sparkled at the thought of Yuuichi standing up to father and Yuuichi understood it completely- he remembered how hard his heart had hammered in his chest. "Woahh… you're so brave Yuui, I definitely wouldn't be able to talk back to father, let alone yell at him."

He didn't like it when Fiyumi downplayed her own confidence like that, he knew first hand how brave she could be. "Don't say that, Fiyumi, you're braver than you think."

"Thanks…"

[bopinion]

2021 / 29

Aperçu of the Week:

"You can tell a person's character by the jokes he laughs at."

Alfred Biolek

Biolek is a veteran of German television. In the 1970s, he produced the most successful TV show, "Am laufenden Band," and then he was in front of the camera himself: first talking and hosting, later also cooking, in each case as the first (!) in his field. Thanks to him, people in this country know Monty Python and The Police, for example. A great man, a star without airs and graces, an innovator and cultural leader, a man who was never prejudiced, never unfair, always in a good mood, always interested, never superficial, always friendly, who stood by his homosexuality - at a time when it was still considered disreputable, not only in his industry. I had the privilege of meeting him almost 30 years ago, as we both shared a valuable experience as exchange students with AFS. Dr. Alfred Franz Maria Biolek died yesterday in Cologne at the age of 87. Rest in peace!

Bad News of the Week:

The fourth wave is coming. It's already there in the UK and Spain. In France and Italy, the values are still (reasonably) low, but the growth is rapid. Thanks to the delta mutant, formerly known as the Indian. Here, everyone is watching spellbound for the infamous "7-day incidence," which so far has been slow to increase. That's about to change. Especially because the longed-for herd immunity will remain a utopia - because immunization above 85% is impossible if all children and adolescents are not considered for vaccination. And more and more so-called skeptics refuse - whereby an obligation to vaccinate would be an immense encroachment on fundamental rights, the justification of which is difficult. But is there a fundamental right to ignorance? I'm torn apart...

What is currently taking place in the UK is a large-scale medical experiment. Not under expert supervision in a laboratory, but completely detached in public. All Corona protections such as mask wearing or social distancing have been completely removed. At a time when the incidence is approaching 500 - the highest since the all-time high in January. In our country, it's under 15, and we're worrying about how to organize the start of school after the summer vacations. And Boris Johnson basically says to that, "Why not now? When then?". Well, for example, when the vaccination campaign is more advanced and the numbers are lower. But he'll know what he's doing - even if it's irresponsible. Let's see how British voters will remember this decision in his upcoming re-election.

But this is not the only area where the British government lacks logic in Corona measures. A work colleague of mine is Irish and was supposed to visit his mother next week. But she lives in Northern Ireland. Since he already has full vaccination protection, he didn't expect any problems - and now he would have to spend ten days in a quarantine hotel without being allowed to see his mother. That's over 70% of his total two-week stay. The reasoning is remarkable: according to British regulations, he is considered unvaccinated because a vaccination in an EU country is not recognized. Although it is the same vaccine in the same dose in the same schedule. But the stamp in his vaccination certificate is just the wrong one.

Good News of the Week:

"Pragmatism and melancholy" is the Tagesschau's headline about Angela Merkel's last federal press conference - a kind of forum for free questions from journalists - as chancellor in Berlin. After all, she will not be running again in the federal elections in just under two months. It was therefore not surprising that, in addition to current political issues, many media representatives primarily took stock of Merkel's 16-year term in office. The financial and the euro crisis, nuclear and coal phase-out, the EU and China, Corona and digitization, and so on. Life without crises is easier, but when they are there, they have to be dealt with, Merkel replied to the question of whether she felt flattered by the title "crisis chancellor." After all, last week U.S. President Joe Biden, another old hand in world politics, had remarked that she would be missed.

In an interview today, climate activist Luisa Neubauer, the German face of "Fridays for Future," accuses Merkel of not tackling the climate crisis in the proactive manner that is her style in other crises. Although this one is by far the biggest and most urgent. One might add, even though Merkel was once environment minister. And seems to overlook two things: first, nuclear and coal phase-out ultimately serve climate protection. And secondly, there is no patent remedy, no reference, no example, no role model. Perhaps that's the point: who should be able to tackle the issue in a decisive way if not someone who is internationally acknowledged, respected across party lines, unpretentious and without any self-interest, scientifically sound, moderating and balancing, pragmatic and energetic? So who, if not Merkel?

Dr. Angela Dorothea Merkel turned 67 two weeks ago. Unlike Helmut Kohl - the other chancellor who ruled for what felt like an eternity of 16 years and ended up looking powerless and burnt out - it's hard to imagine Merkel going from one day to another just reading books and trying out potato salad recipes. And we have learned from the U.S. that the political zenith is apparently not reached until the age of 70+. And from demography we have learned that women live longer and are more efficient in old age than men. So: starting this fall, there will be an "elder stateswoman" in waiting on the world stage, who I personally would like to see again in every conceivable position. EU Council president, UN secretary general, pope, conductor, chef - I don't care. But give her something to do. She won't screw it up. Thank you, Mrs. Merkel, for providing a solid counterbalance to all the testosterone and alpha dog behavior in our nation, in Europe and a little bit in the whole world all these years. Of course, not all that glitters is gold, and even you haven't done everything right. But your taking stock is positive, and that's what remains at the end of the day.

Personal happy moment of the week:

I have never owned a purse. Probably because I never had enough money ;-) So coins always end up in a big box that the kids carry to the bank by the kilo on World Savings Day. And for bills, I had a plain money clip by Danish designer Georg Jensen, whose functional-style silversmithing helped shape industrial design in Scandinavian countries. I had already lost it once and after much research was able to purchase one again. A good half year ago I scatterbrained lost it again. Fuck the 20, 30 euros - but my beautiful clip was gone. And this time it was impossible to find another one. Yesterday, I put on a suit that I obviously hadn't worn for a long time - because in my pants pocket I found my money clip. Empty, but valuable. I got it back. And my personal happy moment of the week.

I couldn't care less...

...for the Olympic Games. Because they are so far from the original ideal of the sporting high office of the amateurs, endlessly commercialized, run by a corrupt organization, without any grounding and leaving the same too often burnt. I can still remember the promises made before the Summer Games in Beijing in 20008: sport would be an ambassador of peace and democratization, the Olympics would have a lasting effect on politics and society. Really? Nothing at all has happened. Except that the 2022 Winter Games will once again be held in Beijing. Bravo!

As I write this...

...it's thundering and lightning in the mountains again. And everybody is afraid that there will be heavy rain, squalls and hail again. Because the soils, especially in the disaster areas of the last week, are still waterlogged and loose and many dams no longer exist. So it only takes a comparatively small amount of rain to have mudslides, rivers overflowing their banks, and flooded homes again. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for all of us.

[thebiasrekkers]

Make It Right [BTS Mafia!AU]

Plot: “It’s always darkest before the dawn…” It’s a dog-eat-dog world in Seoul, South Korea. One has to dwell in the shadows in order to reach for the light. What are you willing to sacrifice in order to feel the sunlight on your face? What will it take to drag you back into darkness? How long will the journey be to make it right?

Rating: NC-17 // NSFW

Genre: Series | Mafia!AU | Crime!AU | Angst | Romance/Fluff | Smut

Pairings: Jin x OC | Taehyung/Hoseok x OC | Yoongi/Jungkook x OC

Warnings: Graphic Violence (bloody violence), Heavy Language, Angst, Slow Burn, Smut

Additional Warnings: Graphic depiction of torture, graphic physical violence, captured/kidnapping, major character death

Previous Chapters: Prologue 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51

Links: FAQ || BTS Masterlist || Admin E’s AO3 || Admin E’s WP || [ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ]

Word Count: 5,133

Tag List: @prisczero​, @pinkpjmin​, @btsaudge​, @flowerwrites06​, @unoriginal-username15432, @halussali​, @shrimpmsg​​,

AN: And it all goes downhill from here, Ladies...

Chapter 51: Begin

“I can’t stand you crying. I want to cry instead, although I can’t.”

© thebiasrekkers (Admin E). All rights reserved. Reposting/modifying our work is prohibited. Translations are not allowed. Plagiarism/stealing is not tolerated by any means. Legal action will be taken in instances of theft.

Seoul – Samseong; Gangnam District South Korea

9:45 AM

Jungkook was three steps from heading to the insane asylum.

One step represented each day that he hadn’t been able to track Eden down.

He barely heard the words of comfort that Jimin was giving him. He knew that it had something to do with it not being his fault, but how could it not have been? He hadn’t heard from his wife in three days, assuming she got wrapped up with family affairs and was too busy to check in on the first day. The second day had him concerned that she’d gotten hurt. By the third day, Jungkook was at his wit’s end.

Only to find out that she’d been snatched up before she ever got the chance to leave for Daegu. He shouldn’t have put her second to his job. He shouldn’t have let her leave their house to go to the train station alone.

He shouldn’t have let this happen.

The image of Eden’s beaten form in the video clip was branded across the forefront of his mind. Hoseok was angry, determined to track down the Jade Fang members who’d done this. Jungkook was angry that they were still part of the equation. They should have been eliminated years ago.

It wasn’t like they weren’t aware of what Im Changkyun was capable of. They’d seen the vicious things he’d done while they were Jade Fang members themselves. He didn’t think it was necessary to attend district meetings, feeling the rest of the bosses were beneath his standards of proper mafia leadership. Hoseok was his only equal and it appeared that he continued to see him as such.

Divine Intervention prevented Jungkook from leaving the house that night and storming the stronghold of the Jade Fangs alone. He would have burned every single one of their businesses down; he was determined to do so. Jimin escorted him home that night and there was a parcel waiting at home for Jungkook. His brother made him a drink and when Jungkook opened the package, he collapsed on the floor and cried until he could barely breathe.

It was a gift Eden prepared for him for his birthday – a handmade model of his dream car. Seated in the car were miniature figures of Eden and himself. He didn’t remember passing out. He didn’t remember Jimin tucking a blanket over him. He could only remember Eden’s face, smiling as they shared breakfast together the morning she was taken.

“Jungkook-ah,” called Jimin, pulling Jungkook out of his inner musings. There was concern painted over his brother’s face and he took a breath, waiting for him to continue. “I think we’ve covered everywhere here.”

Jungkook said nothing. Instead, he pulled out the small notebook he carried with him and scratched out Gangnam from the list. For two and a half days, they combed every single section of Gangnam they could. There was a part of him that knew that the Jade Fangs wouldn’t be so arrogant to hold her hostage in their former territory. But there was also a part of him that could reason Im Changkyun doing something so ridiculous as a form of “poetic justice” against them.

To him, the Golden Jackals never disbanded.

“What about the others?”

Jimin sighed, leaning against the driver’s side door of the car. “They’re hitting the other areas. Hoseok called in some favors from the other district bosses to let us through.”

All Jungkook did was nod. There was something off about this whole situation. Very off. There shouldn’t have been a single obstacle in the way of the other district heads when it came to taking over their territories. Yongsan and Gangnam were completely up for grabs; Hoseok said as much. Jungkook could only guess that Changkyun’s influence prevented them from stepping a single foot into their turf. He more than likely was determined to get Hoseok and the others back so they could do a mass district takeover.

“I don’t like that Tae Hyung went off by himself,” he suddenly said, meeting Jimin’s gaze.

“Yeah,” he replied softly, “I don’t either.”

Jungkook frowned. “He still hasn’t checked in yet?”

“No.”

He didn’t want to prod any further. Jimin was probably more worried about Taehyung than any of them. While it was unsurprising that he went off on his own, it was unlike him to not have checked in by now. Taehyung wasn’t a morning person, which was why they all knew that he hadn’t slept while he was on the hunt.

Then again, none of them were really sleeping.

A soft ache throbbed at Jungkook’s temple. He pressed a hand to his chest, taking a small amount of comfort in feeling his wedding band dangling from the necklace chain. He didn’t know how much longer he could handle not knowing what was happening with Eden.

“Hyung, I—”

“She’s fine, Jungkook-ah.” Jimin’s words sliced through his own, as if he’d already predicted what he was going to say. When he met his brother’s gaze, he saw the reassuring smile tinged with just a hint of worry. “If I know her, she’ll make them regret the day they decided to take her.”

“Not before I do.”

Suddenly, Jimin and Jungkook’s phones chimed simultaneously – indicating they received a message. Both looked at their phones immediately and Jungkook felt his heart rate escalate. It wasn’t a matter of him losing hope as seeing the message renewed his vigor.

It was from Taehyung.

Taehyung: I found her. She’s near Namyangju in Gyeonggi-do. Somewhere in the Industrial District. I’m heading back now.

Jungkook looked at Jimin the same time he did. Without uttering a word, they flung the doors open to the car and hopped in. Jimin fired up the engine and punched it, speeding out of Gangnam. Jungkook stared at his phone as more messages came through from the others. It didn’t take him long to figure out that they were closer to that location than everyone else. It was a half an hour drive, traffic willing.

They’d get there first.

10:17 AM

Namyangju – Gyeonggi Province South Korea

Jungkook felt like it took them a hundred years to get to their destination. With every mile marker they passed, it brought him one step closer to finding Eden. One step closer to bringing her home. He clung to the smallest shreds of his willpower not to scream at Jimin to drive faster. They didn’t need to get into any kind of accident before they reached her.

Jimin swung the car into an empty street, the desolate district eerie even in the morning light. Jungkook tumbled from the passenger side, all but tearing his seatbelt from his body in the process. Jimin called after him, but he paid him no mind. His legs ate up the ground as he ran headlong into the central area of the decrepit buildings.

No one lived in the abandoned sections of the province anymore, but the government hadn’t bothered with tearing it down. His hope began to dwindle, realizing just how expansive the district was. It would take them hours to find her at this rate.

Resisting the urge to scream, he slowed to a jogging pace before stopping altogether. Running around blindly without a single clue as to where to look would get him nowhere. They were just wasting time. There was even the chance that the group would up and relocate themselves before they could even have a chance at finding them.

Eden would be lost forever.

He heard Jimin run up behind him, clapping a hand to his shoulder. Jungkook did his best to tether his scattered thoughts, chasing away the worst possibilities from his mind. He needed to calm down and think.

“There were a few cars parked near the back,” he said after catching his breath, “we might need to go up top to get a better idea of where they might be.”

Jungkook nodded, pointing straight ahead. “I’ll head to that building down there. Text me if you find anything.”

Just as he was about to take off, Jimin grabbed him – halting his movements.

“No, we stick together.” Jungkook opened his mouth to protest, but Jimin’s glare quickly silenced him. “If something happens, we won’t be able to do anything alone. We’re stronger together.”

While he wanted to argue, he knew that his brother was right. Even if splitting up would help them cover more ground, there was a good chance that they wouldn’t have a way to defend themselves if they got caught in a sticky situation. Jungkook did his best to push down his mounting impulsivities. Charging in blindly was foolish and would most likely get them killed.

“Alright, Hyung,” Jungkook said, relenting, “let’s go together.”

Not wasting another moment, they tore off down the center of the district – eyes rapidly searching in every direction their necks would allow them to turn.

10:32 AM

Minutes crept by at a snail’s pace.

Jungkook did everything he could to keep his head together. There were too many horrifying images playing rapidly in his head, like a flipbook that ended in blood splatters. Jimin stayed at his side, matching his pace as well as his fervor. Every so often, they would stop to peek into various buildings. They climbed up to higher vantage points to get a better lay of the area, dipping off to resume their search.

Everything looked so dead from the inside out.

A scream tore through the vast emptiness, causing Jungkook to trip over his own feet and he came crashing to the ground. Jimin was immediately beside him, grabbing him by the arm and hoisting him back up. Jungkook’s heart pounded double-time in his chest; it hurt. A cold sweat broke out over his skin and he couldn’t stop his body from trembling, even though Jimin rubbed small circles on his back.

“E-Eden,” he barely managed to croak, his legs shaking to the point where it was difficult to stand. Jimin continued to hold him up. “That was her!”

The sound was close.

Jimin said nothing. He continued to guide them along the path, turning around corners until he heard his wife scream again. It was even closer. They were almost to her!

He felt his brother release the hold he had on him and Jungkook involuntarily sagged against the side of a building. He didn’t know where they were or how deep into the district they’d gone. Jimin’s expression was focused and if he was feeling any sort of turmoil, it never showed. Not once.

The building they were pressed against was yellowed from age and neglect. Numerous cracks ran along the sides and bits of paint were peeling back; some pieces flying away from even the slightest gust of wind. The window had a long crack running from an upward angle to the corner of the pane; dirty and smudged. Jimin wiped a hand across the bottom to get rid of the dirt so he could see inside. Jungkook sidled up beside him to peek in as well.

He could feel Jimin’s vice-like grip on his shoulder, pinning him in place. Jungkook’s vision blurred momentarily before regaining focus, zeroing in on the image of his wife strung up like some animal. There were a few lackeys around and appeared to be bored – as if they were waiting for something interesting to happen. Jungkook felt the muscle at his jaw throbbing viciously as he clenched his teeth, grinding them in anger.

He wanted a gun. He would have emptied a clip into every single one of them.

Jungkook tried to move, but Jimin wouldn’t let him go.

“Hyung!” came his harsh whisper, but Jimin shook his head roughly.

“Wait, Jungkook,” he hissed back, finally letting him go, “just wait.”

“I can’t, dammit!”

“You can and you will.” Jimin’s words were final. “We don’t even know what kind of weapons they have in there. If Changkyun’s willing to play dirty like this, there’s no guarantee that his men won’t fill us full of holes with guns they obtained illegally.”

Jungkook wanted to protest, but he knew that Jimin was right. They needed to assess the situation fully before making a move. If they ran in there blindly without understanding what they were up against, there was a chance that Eden would die in the crossfire.

“So what now?”

Jimin continued to look through the window and he could see the wheels in his head turning. Strategy was his strongest suit so Jungkook did his best to be as patient as possible. A handful of seconds passed before he turned to meet his gaze.

“I’m going to go in from the front.”

“What?!” Jungkook gave him an incredulous look. “That’s crazy. Are you crazy?!”

“Shut-up and listen to me.” Jimin turned to look back through the window. “I’m going to draw their attention to me. This window is loose so as soon as I get them to chase me, I want you to go in and grab Eden and then get the hell out of here.”

He didn’t like this plan.

“There’s ten of them, Hyung. Maybe more. You can’t outrun them all.”

Jimin grinned, still peering into the building. “I can try.”

Jungkook grabbed his shoulder. “Hyung!”

He felt his arm being yanked off abruptly, causing him to take a step back. Jimin cast an icy glare in his direction.

“Do what I say.”

He wanted to protest again. He wanted to tell him that this was suicide. They should wait for the others. Wouldn’t that have been the smart thing?

But if they waited too long, then they may miss their chance. The Jade Fangs could probably swarm them, call for more men, and then overtake them completely. Jungkook knew that the plan was the best option they had right now.

It didn’t mean he had to like it.

Without waiting for him to agree or even disagree, Jimin turned and ran down one side of the building. He rounded the corner and disappeared on the other side, leaving Jungkook alone to wait. There was a distinct feeling of dread sweeping over him, telling him that there was danger to watch out for. But wasn’t that obvious? Didn’t they understand that, knowingly showing up to this place?

This was unavoidable.

A loud bang rang out inside the large interior. Jungkook peered over the bottom of the window, craning his neck as best he could. Light flooded into the dark space as he watched Jimin’s shadow stretching along the floor. All the men inside turned around, grabbing what weapons they had near them to launch an assault. Jimin immediately dispatched one of the lackeys close to the door before turning to run away from the building. All but two gave chase.

Now!

Jungkook thrust the window open, causing it to break further from the force. He leaped in through the opening and charged forward. Taking advantage of the momentary distraction caused by his entrance, Jungkook barreled into the man closest to him – taking him down with a swift grappling throw. The man landed on his head; a distinct crack heard from his skull smacking into the concrete.

He saw movement out of the corner of his eye, a flash of silver, and he dodged at the last second. Whirling his body around, he jumped back with his arms extended out as another man tried to hit him with a metal bat. Jungkook bobbed and weaved out of the way, moving just out of reach at the last possible moment. Pivoting on his back leg, he waited for the man to try to swing at him again before catching the bat in his hand and pulling it toward him. The man slid on his heels, the distance closing rapidly. Jungkook aimed a kick straight for his stomach and sent him flying.

He brought the bat down over the man’s head for good measure.

With the two men unconscious, Jungkook swerved around and ran toward Eden. He did his best to avoid looking at her injuries, not wanting to distract himself from the most important task he had: freeing her. As he looked at her restraints, he did his best to concentrate on her face. She was semi-conscious, the noise bringing her out of whatever fugue state she was in.

“J-Jungkook-ah?” She coughed. “Y-You shouldn’t be here…”

“Shh,” he admonished, his eyes flicking over her bindings, “save your strength.”

His hands moved with lightning speed, fidgeting over the ropes and chains binding her as she hung from a large hook attached to the ceiling. When he finally managed to loosen the ropes, he lifted her up by her waist so he could untether her from the hook. Her arms dangled limply around his neck; the chains clamped around her wrists jingling together with the sudden movement.

Her body lacked the strength to keep herself upright and she nearly collapsed to the ground. Jungkook held fast to her, moving her arms over his head so he could undo the chains around her wrists. He could tell she’d lost weight and she seemed almost a shell of who he knew her to be. He focused on getting her to safety – choosing to smother his fury into the pit of his stomach.

“Go,” she whispered as he held onto her, “get out of here.” She coughed again. “Leave me.”

“Not a chance in hell,” he snapped, draping her arm over his shoulder as he held onto her waist, “now come on.”

Jungkook wouldn’t hear anymore of this nonsense, even if it was coming from the woman he loved. She was barefoot, but there wasn’t any glass on the ground. If she didn’t think she’d be able to walk, he’d carry her on his back and dare her to say otherwise.

Shuffling toward the entrance, he could hear men yelling in the distance. But it sounded like it was getting closer. Jimin was circling back, probably to make sure that they’d gotten out. If they could hold out a little longer, the others would come and then they could cause a big enough scene to get the hell out.

Just as he reached the entryway, he turned to make sure the two men he’d dealt with were still on the ground. Satisfied that they weren’t going to be getting up anytime soon, he turned back toward the exit.

A shadow moved from the corner. Eden saw it before he did. Jungkook shuffled to the left. He was half a step short.

The pain didn’t register at first. All he could focus on was Yoo Kihyun who was now directly in his path to freedom. It wasn’t until he saw the older man take a step forward that Jungkook took a step back. But not of his own freewill. He was forced to step back.

The knife in his gut pushed him to move.

Eden screamed but he barely heard it. Jungkook nearly dropped her, but his stubbornness wouldn’t allow her to fall. Not in front of him; her captor. A chilling smile painted over Kihyun’s face as he tilted his head, peering into Jungkook’s eyes. It was like he was asking him what his next move would be without having to say it out loud. For a split second, Jungkook’s vision blurred.

Releasing the hold he had on Eden’s arm, he grabbed a hold of the knife and pushed back – pulling the blade slowly from his gut. Kihyun blinked in surprise at him, watching as he drew the older man’s arm away from his body while still holding his wife fast to him. Again, Eden screamed, but this time she moved with whatever strength was left in her body – arms reaching out in a feral manner.

She scratched her nails across Kihyun’s face, forcing him to reach up and cover his cheek. Jungkook stepped forward, pulling the knife completely from his stomach, before spinning it in his blood-soaked fingers to grasp the blade’s handle. Kihyun stumbled backward a step and Jungkook quickly closed the distance, plunging the knife directly into his shoulder and aiming a kick to his knee. He waited for him to hit the dirt before pulling Eden quickly behind him.

He didn’t have to express the need for urgency.

They both disappeared into a nearby cluster of reeds.

10:45 AM

Blood wept from the side of Jimin’s head as he rounded the corner of a building. He held onto a rusty metal pipe, clutching it at his side. He knew one of his ribs were broken, if not two, and there was a good chance he very nearly sprained his ankle hopping over a broken-down car to avoid being clobbered with a length of chain. He quickly did a tally in his head, making a note that he was able to knock down four of the eight that were chasing him. Two of them he tripped up along their pursuit and the rest were now trying to comb the nearby streets in search of him.

Hearing Eden’s scream forced him to double back toward the building where he’d left Jungkook. It wasn’t the sound of agony. It was of outrage. Something must have happened. He needed to get back to them and quickly.

Jimin wiped some of the sweat and blood from his head, spitting at the ground. Once his heart calmed down, he tried to ascertain his whereabouts. Just two buildings over and he’d be right back where he’d started.

Come on, Park Jimin. Calm down and focus.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he fished it out, eyeing the screen. It was from Yoongi.

Yoongi: We’re almost there! Where are you guys? Give us a landmark!

Taking a moment to breathe, he turned his head in every direction to try and gauge a decent landmark for the others to follow. There was a cluster of blue barrels far away from the abandoned buildings, just toward the edge where a large field of reeds were. He quickly texted him back, letting him know the location.

He slid the phone back into his pocket, gripping the metal pipe in both hands. Now he just needed to get back to Jungkook who, he hoped, had Eden in tow.

His phone buzzed again; this time in succession. Someone was calling him.

Dipping into a nearby building, he hunkered down in a shadowed corner to look at the phone. It was Jungkook. He answered.

“Jungkook-ah?”

“H-Hyung…”

Jimin could tell something was wrong.

“Where are you?”

“T-The…the reeds…”

He had to refrain from cursing. There were reeds in every direction. He took a breath to calm his nerves.

“What else do you see around you?”

There was a pregnant pause and he wondered if something was happening with the call.

Jimin-ah?”

It was Eden. His heart practically jumped into his throat.

“Oh, thank God he got you out. Are you alright?”

“Never mind that. Jungkook’s hurt.”

He could hear the frantic tone in her voice. Jimin tried to smooth his voice out in a way that would help take the edge off for her.

“Okay, just breathe. Can you tell me where you guys are right now?”

“I can’t really see anything. The reeds are so thick.”

“Can you see any barrels around you?”

“Hold on.”

It was only a few seconds, but Jimin felt like he was losing years off his life as he waited for her to answer.

“I can see some blue ones. But they’re far away.”

He resisted the urge to smile. They weren’t that far from his current location.

“How far?”

“Several yards. They’re across that dirt path.”

“Okay, good.” His side screamed at him from the position he was in, but he ignored it. “I want you to meet me there, okay?”

It sounded like she was about to sob which unnerved him.

“Can’t you just come here? Jungkook’s hurt badly and I don’t have the strength to carry him.”

Jimin hissed quietly to himself. I told him to be careful… He took a breath. “Alright, I’ll come to you. I’ll be there soon.”

“Hurry!”

Ending the call, Jimin slipped out the back of the building and made his way around the next bend. Part of him wanted to throw the pipe off in a different direction, hoping the noise would distract others away from his path. But if they got flanked, he’d need a way to defend Eden, Jungkook, and himself. Especially if Jungkook was as hurt as Eden claimed he was.

This isn’t good, he thought, tearing through the back alleyway and heading up the side of the street to disappear into the thicket of reeds.

10:57 AM

Even though he knew he’d only traveled a few blocks, it felt like he’d been moving for miles. Each turn he made, Jimin thought he was getting more and more lost. Every so often, he’d turn his head to look over his shoulder and spy out the buildings – making sure that he was still on a straight path to the others. He heard some of the other men shouting at each other, trying to figure out where they’d gone, and each of these times, Jimin would pause so that he didn’t give away his position.

Just as he was about to resume his search, he heard a distinct shuffling sound off to his right. It was close.

“J-Jimin-ah? Is that you?”

It was Eden. She sounded exhausted and halfway to the underworld, but it was her. Jimin quickly darted in the direction of her voice, parting the reeds in front of him as he went.

A lump of ice dropped in his stomach at what he saw.

There, cradled in her arms, was Jungkook. A large blood stain blossomed from his shirt and he saw Eden pressing his jacket to his stomach and putting pressure on the injury. She was crying, doing her best to keep her sobs nonexistent so they didn’t alert the others of where they were. She looked up, relief and despair battling for dominance over her features. Jimin dropped the pipe in his hands, his legs slowly carrying him toward Jungkook just as he spit up blood from his mouth.

“J-Jungkook-ah,” he stammered, collapsing to his knees.

Despite the obvious pain he was in, Jungkook flashed him a smile full of blood-stained teeth. “H-Hyung,” he managed to get out, albeit garbled from a mouthful of blood, “what took you so long?”

Jimin didn’t have the energy to snap back. He felt like part of his soul just left him completely. His eyes roved over Jungkook’s body, trying to figure out the cause of his brother’s current state. He lifted his gaze to meet Eden’s.

“What happened?”

“It was Kihyun,” she said weakly while brushing some of the fringe off of Jungkook’s forehead, “he came out of nowhere and—”

“That doesn’t matter,” Jungkook interjected, causing them both to focus on him, “Hyung, get her out of here.”

Another piece of his soul was pulled away.

“W-What?”

Eden shifted him in her arms, clinging to him in desperation. “I’m not leaving you!”

“Yes, you are.” Jungkook reached up to his neck, grabbing the necklace and popping it off in one quick motion. He smeared blood over his skin and clothes, holding it up for Eden. “Take it and go.”

She emphatically shook her head and Jimin could tell that even doing this was zapping her of what strength she had left.

“You bastard,” she muttered, curling her fingers into the fabric of his jacket, “how can you expect me to leave you? Huh?” Eden lowered herself, pulling him against her body to hug him close. “Till death do us part, remember?”

Jungkook did his best to wrap an arm around her, coughing more blood out and staining her shirt. “…and this…is where…we part.”

Eden shot back, looking down at Jungkook as tears streamed down her face, dripping onto his cheeks.

“J-Jungkook,” she stammered, her bottom lip trembling as her voice shook.

Again, he smiled up at her. “I love you, Eden.” He grabbed her hand and placed the necklace inside her palm, closing her fingers over it. “If…if I’m reborn, let me love you in the next life too, okay?”

Jimin could hear his own heart shattering in his chest.

“Hyung…take her and go.”

“But Jungkook-ah—”

“Please.”

Tears leaked out of Jimin’s eyes. It took everything he had, but he stood up and crossed over to where Eden was. She continued to hold onto her husband, refusing to let go even as Jimin tried to pull her up and onto her feet. She fought him but even she knew that she didn’t have the strength to keep it up. Jimin held her against him and they both gazed at the satisfied and peaceful expression on Jungkook’s face. He nodded to them, mouthing for them to go.

Jimin turned, hauling Eden with him as she wailed silently into the crook of his shoulder.

I’ll come back for you, Jungkook. I won’t leave you alone out here...

11:05 AM

He knew that it was only a few minutes since he watched Eden and his brother leave. In those few minutes, Jungkook believed it was several lifetimes. In those few minutes, he thought back to everything that led to this very moment. All the choices he’d made, the road he’d traveled, and the people he’d traveled on that road with along the way.

He regretted nothing up until that moment.

The only thing he knew he would have to repent for would be leaving his beautiful wife behind alone. They’d had a few chapters written in their life together, but they were pages filled with hopes and dreams for an uncertain future. Life never gave guarantees. The only certainty for life was death. It was the same for everyone.

The sun was reaching its peak over the skies. There were very little clouds littering the pale blue blanket above him and he wasn’t sure if it was the bright light that was making it difficult to see or something else. Jungkook lost feeling to the lower half of his body nearly two minutes earlier.

Again, he coughed and more blood sprayed from his mouth. Tears brimmed his eyes, slipping from the corners to seep into his ears.

My brothers…

Jungkook could feel his eyelids growing a little heavier with each passing second, but he forced them to stay open.

Eden…

But the darkness began to creep around the corners of his vision, blurring out the light until it was a faint glow in his line of sight.

He wanted to keep feeling the warmth of the sun on his face until the very end.

…until we meet again.

[flowerbutton]

so @listentoeight-calmyourself and i were chatting a while back and we read these posts and went into some very In-Depth Analysis about the characters in the Dream SMP’s chess positions, just which they’d be etc. specifically, we came up with some In-Depth Analysis of tubbo and tommy and, while i’ve sort of forgotten it, i think it could be neat to share it so here

as this post says tommy views himself as pawn. in his eyes, he’s unimportant, not really a key player; he just exists and, at first, he aims to exist happily. now he aims just to continue existing. but he’s just tommy, to himself. again, as the post says, dream views tommy as the king in opposition. he constantly views tommy as the ringleader, the most powerful piece on the board. and again, as the post says (it has a lot of very good points, pls read it), tommy changes. he moves to the other side of the board, and he becomes a queen. everything he does now has weight behind it: his decisions concerning the fight with dream, going to the prison for closure, sacrificing the discs for tubbo, meeting with punz, preventing wilbur’s resurrection - all these hold weight for what happens next in the plot.

but, i don’t think tommy wants to face his change into a queen. he seems to as they approach dream during the finale of the disc war but as soon as dream is locked away, tommy is trying to scrape his way back to being, to himself, unimportant. he completes boring tasks for sam nook, he works towards building a hotel, he just exists for a while, even if everything is changing as he does so. and him going to the prison, i think, can be seen as him trying, once and for all, to disavow that he was ever important - the closure tommy is seeking is the ability to go back to the way things were, to return to a pre-queen position, to become unimportant and free again. and when he leaves the prison, after dying, he comes to terms that it isn’t possible. he is unfortunately a key player now, and he cannot ever shift it away, so he’s working to try and take down the other side.

other evidence for tommy being a queen is that, in chess, it’s the queen’s job to defend their king, even at the expense of themselves. when a queen is taken (killed) by the opposing side, there is a moment of sadness - maybe you didn’t realise you’d left the queen open, maybe you’re mourning the loss of a powerful piece - but the game continues, because the king is still alive. we have seen this clearly with how the smp reacted to tommy’s death. when he died, people felt the loss clearly, even those who barely knew him - there was a moment of sadness. but life continued. the game continued, dream made sure it did, and tommy seems to have realised this in his stream after leaving the prison - everything had continued after he died, nothing had stopped. life went on. tommy is important to so many people, but there’s no stopping the game if he is killed.

but - you know what happens when a king is lost in chess? the game ends, there’s no coming back. tommy’s death was impactful and life continued, but if tubbo died? there’s no coming back from that, for so many people on the smp. for so many people, the game would end, and therefore, even though dream thought tommy was the king in opposition, it’s tubbo. tubbo is the server’s king. he’s loved or, at the very least, respected by loads of people, even by those who don’t agree with his opinions. he’s cared about so many people that i don’t think anyone would be unaffected, really, if tubbo died, and for many, i think that could be the point of no return. tubbo is such a prolific figure in so many people’s hearts that it would be, for so many people, game over.

“tommy would fight!” you argue - but we saw how tommy reacted to tubbo going to die in the bunker with dream. that entire scene was about how dream would have full control of tommy if tubbo died, because tommy wouldn’t have any drive left any more. to tommy, tubbo is the most important person / concept on the server. in fact, tubbo is one of the only people whose orders tommy follows (the other being wilbur). when he’s exiled by schlatt, how much does tommy actually listen to those exile orders? but when he’s exiled by tubbo? he steers clear. during the confrontation with dream, tommy doesn’t hesitate to continue fighting, until tubbo tells him it’s over. tubbo sees that it’s checkmate - i think he even says it, at one point - and it’s only when he explicitly accepts his fate, to die, that tommy even considers the idea of defeat. tommy is the one who suggests running, tommy is the one who asks repeatedly if tubbo is accepting this - “we don’t accept this!” he says. but tubbo is tactical, and he points out that there is no escape. there’s no way out. he’s seen that they’re in check and he’s willing to sacrifice himself (to resign). “who am i without you?”, as moving as it is, makes clear that tommy is accepting tubbo’s willingness to die; he’s following what tubbo wants because tommy follows tubbo. tommy says that he always thought of tubbo as a sidekick, but that actually, he’s tubbo’s sidekick, and to some extent, that’s wrong (they’re both individuals etc), but in some sense, a queen will always follow the word of a king. tommy will always follow tubbo (or, well, maybe not post-death, but that’s another topic).

another example is ranboo - ranboo would die to avenge tubbo! except, ranboo probably wouldn’t; he’d be overcome with grief, he’s got a son to look out for, and he’s already terrified he’s working on dream’s orders. ranboo wouldn’t have the self-confidence to continue after tubbo’s death, at least not in a way that could constitute as a drive to continue. ranboo is not weak, he’s exceptionally strong, but a large part of his strength comes from his relationship with tubbo. their friendship and supportiveness is what gives ranboo is sense of security. i can’t find the clip but doesn’t ranboo admit to tubbo, after his spying on l’manberg, that he didn’t know whether he intended to cause harm or not to l’manberg and to tubbo? (this is the post i found the information from, would love the clip!) and then tubbo forgives him. it’s tubbo’s forgiveness, tubbo’s understanding of ranboo, his support, that gives ranboo more confidence in himself. if tubbo died, if ranboo lost his support network, there likely wouldn’t be the drive to continue.

jack manifold - wanted to kill tommy with the excuse that he thought tubbo would be better off without tommy (also personal reasons, but he did indeed say that). niki nihachu adored tubbo, even if he doesn’t trust her now. puffy, sam, foolish, even technoblade and philza - all are people who, to some extent, respect tubbo. eret and tubbo were some of the first people to reconcile after eret’s betrayal, if i remember rightly, and quackity thinks he’s fantastic. so many people have been touched by having tubbo in their lives - he’s pivotal to how the server is.

the amount of people who show up to the bunker with punz are an example of this. punz came because tommy asked him to, but all those people? niki and jack hated tommy. hbomb hated tommy. at least three key players in that army were not there for tommy - they were there for tubbo. they’d said goodbye to tubbo on that prime path just as much as they had said goodbye to tommy. tommy has negatively affected almost everyone on the server, even by accident - but tubbo? tubbo has made bridges, he’s joined hands, he’s coveted friendships.

and tubbo recognises that he’s important. he gives the speech to rally people against dream, even if it fails somewhat. he’s tommy’s right-hand-man in the final disc battle. dream even says that tubbo is the only way to control tommy - and then dream calls him a pawn. tubbo realises this, and he plays into it. “he called me a pawn? this is checkmate,” he says - but you can’t checkmate a pawn. dream sees tommy as the king, he thinks he’s checkmate-ing tommy - but tommy isn’t the piece about to be taken, tubbo is. tubbo is about to die, at that moment - and tubbo realises this. tubbo, with his tactical skills, with his understanding of powerplays, makes the decision to continue to hide what piece he is from dream. dream thinks he is a pawn, but tubbo is the king. i don’t know why - but it’s usually tactical to hide as much information as you can from your enemy, right?

speaking of tactics, tubbo ends up as the one with the most strength in the game - just like the king. he has people willing to defend him (ranboo, tommy, jack - to name a few); he’s the most tactically-minded of the bench trio, let alone snowchester (lied about what it was to the syndicate, takes ranboo spying on the egg (know thy enemy, information gathering), isn’t afraid to retreat when necessary), and he’s developed freaking nukes as a defence mechanism.

“but his presidency!” you cry - i agree; but the reason he floundered in his presidency? he didn’t trust himself to do a good job. the role models for presidents of l’manberg both ruined the country, and tubbo had absolutely no idea how to properly run a nation. he listened to quackity (butcher army) and to dream (tommy’s exile) because he lacked the confidence to follow through with his own beliefs. except - he develops it, when unconditional support is thrown his way. quackity and dream both were playing their own games, but tommy’s unconditional support during the scene at the ruins of the community house? when tommy stood down, when he remained by tubbo’s side, even after tubbo handed over the discs? that gave tubbo the confidence he needed. they were in their worst time yet, but tommy forgave him for his actions, and so tubbo had the strength to refuse quackity’s plea to kill ranboo. he had the strength to rally the troops. he had the strength to forgive ranboo. because a king is only as strong as those who stand behind him, and tommy was tubbo’s strength.

tommy clings to tubbo because tubbo is his stability, and tubbo clings to tommy because tommy is his strength. tommy will always stand by tubbo in the end, will always defend tubbo for as long as tubbo will let him - tommy is tubbo’s queen, the opposition to dream’s queen. and tubbo will always stand tall in the end because tommy is there supporting him and believing in him - tubbo is tommy’s king, and potentially the true king of the smp.

the real danger is that dream can’t see this - but i bet you a fiver that wilbur might.

tl;dr: dream thinks tommy is the king and tommy used to think he was a pawn, but in actuality, tubbo is the king and tommy is his queen. dream cannot see this. this is all /rp obvs

[wannaberp]

— WHO IS CHU HANNA?

she’s a TWENTY-TWO year old wannabe, born DECEMBER 31, 2000. she’s currently eyeing SR MEDIA and lives by the words “everything will be okay in the end. if it's not okay, it's not the end.”

maybe you should learn more or ask her a question.

▶ PLAY THE CLIP [ harsh_critique.mp4 ]

[ HOT ] "genius" child actor song miyoung: where is she now?

[ +/- ] genius? she was just lucky ㅋㅋ there was never any talent, just powerful parents~    › [ +/- ] aren't they politicians? wouldn't be surprising if they made some deals or waved some money around for her lol [ +/- ] what's funnier is how none of her roles after her breakout were any good and she never got popular either [ +/- ] i didn't think anyone would remember her at this point… what is she doing now? i don't even see her promoted anywhere anymore lol she's really a nobody now huh ㅋㅋㅋ

𓆩♡𓆪hanna's eyes glance over the words that have become all too familiar to her, the comments and criticisms she's received since she was a teen becoming something like a norm in her life now. her seemingly blank gaze is not to be confused with listlessness or uncaring, however; no, hanna has just simply accepted that the so-called critiques and digs made at her expense are something that will never go away, at least, not anytime soon.

    after all, they're not wrong exactly. what has she done recently? the truth is she really hasn't been doing much and there's no one who is more aware of how lacking she is--and feels--than herself. most of her days are filled with going to classes or doing work for it now that she's a graduate student, and if she's not doing something school-related then she's at her part-time job for extra money instead.

    but picking up gigs related to the career she actually wants? well, they're far and few in between. she's managed to land a few roles here and there over the years, even scoring some local modeling gigs when she can, but all of it never amounts to much. barely anyone recognizes her from her childhood (puberty and a name change would do that, she supposes) and without a company backing her, there's only so much hanna can do on her own anyways.

    so are the comments out of left field? not at all. does she think people still harping on her past need to move on a get a life? definitely. but part of her--deep down in a crevice of her heart that she doesn't want to admit--is kind of relieved that someone thought she was impactful enough to remember her existence, even if it's not exactly for positive reasons.

    as they say, any press is good press - and hanna has gotten used to reading scathing remarks about her and her apparent lack of talent. they may have cooled off and lessened in recent years as her fame wanes and people do begin to forget her but at the same time, in a kind of sick way, it's thanks to how much hate she received that she's learned a thing or two about how to manage her emotions when reading vitriol and rumors about herself, her past, and her parents.

     now if only she could stop letting those words get to her and allow her self worth to be diminished - then maybe she'd be more confident in pursuing her dreams.

[mocha-sim]

For a while now I’ve wanted to write out a post concerning where I stand on the whole issue with YanSim and its developer (in short: neutral, leaning heavily towards the negative side, but I like the potential of the story and characters). There are a lot of problems and I really want to throw in my two cents

This might not be necessary, but I need to get it off my chest, and hopefully make some people think about other points of view

Warning: long post ahead

1. Six years and still in development

I can really see both sides here

On one hand, six full years without even one rival - the single most important part of the game - and a game still full of placeholder assets, and terrible code on top of that, is pathetic

On the other hand, Yandev is working with only a small team of volunteers and himself, who (no matter what he claims) knows very little about game development (from what i’ve seen, he’s made one before, but it looks like a very small-scale and basic fighting game, unlike YanSim which is much more large-scale and has a lot of features)

Professional game teams do have full, high-quality games made in less than six years, but that time is also a product of game company employees being extremely overworked. Lately I’ve seen a lot more people talking about this issue, which is good, but isn’t it hypocritical to not also apply that logic to Yandev?

Again, though, I’m not sure how much time he spends actually working on the game - to me, it seems like he spends a lot of time on discord, reddit, etc. even if he does only stream for a few hours every night. Maybe the “harassment” that’s “slowing down game development” wouldn’t be such an issue if he didn’t spend so much time online interacting with these people?

2. The writing and characters

I’m not a huge fan of how the game’s story is handled, either

I don’t think it’s 100% fair to cast a final judgement with the game the way it is now - Osana not being out is in no way a good thing, but it also means that there hasn’t really been any opportunity for story or character development yet, especially for the rivals. That being said:

I feel like there’s a lot of wasted potential with characters’ individual stories and with the game’s story as a whole, like the “Aishi curse” - I just can’t think of many good stories with a main character who’s basically an empty husk. If Ayano had emotions from the beginning, and actually had to struggle with them, she could be a much more interesting character. There doesn’t even need to be a magical curse for it to run in the family - the way children are raised has a serious impact on the person they grow into. If Ayano is raised by a crazy, abusive stalker of a mother, she may well turn into the same thing.

Taro, too - he has so many contradicting character traits. He yells at Ayano for “scaring him” when she’s carrying a box cutter or laughing, but has the courage to run right up to a murderer and take off their mask?? He doesn’t care about reputations for Osoro or Oka, but won’t love Ayano if her reputation drops too low?? We’re told that he’s “friendly and respectful”, but we’re never shown that part of his personality. On top of that, we’re not really given a reason to like or pursue him as the goal of the game - when he’s not interacting with Girl of the Week, he doesn’t really do anything except sit by the fountain and read. I feel as though Taro should have a routine that involves interacting with other characters and gives us more of a feel for the personality we’re told he’s supposed to have

Raibaru as a whole makes no sense and feels like a satellite character to Osana. In Osana’s shoes, I would want to have a word with her about personal space. There’s not a lot to say about her aside from that, because... she doesn’t really do anything except follow Osana around all day and shut down the player’s attempts to kill her. She feels more like a soulless obstacle than a character

I think there should be more true pacifist options than just matchmaking - even the befriending elimination route will, in Yandev’s own words, involve someone getting hurt. If we’re supposed to have a choice on whether or not to hurt and kill people, there should be more variety in our options

3. The game’s code sucks/it’s poorly-optimized

Yeah.

I don’t know much about coding but the amount of awkward stretching/bending limbs on corpses, clipping through walls, low fps, etc. makes this obvious. It was definitely a bad move on Yandev’s part to start a project like this without at least taking a coding/game development class or something

I think the best course of action for Yandev would be to get a professional programmer on board after Osana is released and spend a few months fixing the game’s code before he starts work on the next rival

4. The character models are just stolen Unity models

They are just unity models, but not “stolen” at all - YanDev paid for them.

That being said, they’re sort of ugly and inexpressive, and personally i’m hoping they get replaced soon

5. The characters are all minors

They’re not. It’s in flashing red letters on the screen when you open the game. I can’t help but feel like the reason people keep insisting that the characters are minors is so that they can feel like heroes for defending them or something

It doesn’t make a lot of logical sense, but there’s still plenty of time for this to be fixed. I think it was recently confirmed that Akademi is called an “academy” now and won’t be referred to as a high school again

Imo YanDev should just change it to a post-secondary school, since that’s probably the most seamless way for all the characters to be adults

One last thing I want to say on this is that, when it gets brought up, I often see people use the excuse “the age of consent in Japan is 13″. 1: it isn’t - the Japanese government lets each prefecture decide its own age of consent, but 13 is the minimum. As far as I know, no prefecture has set it below 16. 2: even if 13 was the age of consent, that doesn’t mean we should accept and defend it as “part of a different culture”. It’s still pedophilia. 3: Japanese people actively protest against things like this

6. The uniforms are middle-school uniforms/don’t look like they belong in a prestigious school

Yeah

However there are multiple uniform options, and it looks like the default uniforms will be completely changed in the final game

7. Panty shots

YanSim is an 18+ game, but there is such a thing as too far

I’ve seen people who tolerate it, but I haven’t seen a single person who actively likes the panty shots and would complain if they were removed. Imo the part that makes this bad is the fact that we, the player, actively have to point our camera up a girl’s skirt and take a photo of her underwear with it being in full view; the whole way this works makes it obvious that the feature was put in there for titillation more than anything else, and it just feels uncomfortable. If it were more like Uekiya’s key-stealing minigame where all we have to do is push a few buttons, the whole gross/uncomfortable aspect could be taken away and a lot of people would probably be fine with it

It would also be better to replace it with an expanded version of the phone-stealing feature: this would let the player get “points” for students of both genders, plus it would still make sense to gain more points for certain students, like the student council or the bullies. Maybe you could even steal teachers’ phones under certain circumstances?

8. YanDev is homophobic

Again not too sure on this one

Iirc, most of the comments people bring up on this are from years ago when he still went by EvaXephon

But speaking as a wlw, I think some of the ways I’ve seen him talk about f/f relationships are pretty creepy. And on top of that, he seems to be considering adding a “female senpai” option to the game, but no male player character? (though i guess i can see the point of view that a male mc would need a lot more new voice lines, animations, etc. while the senpai follows a mostly fixed routine and would only need so many. still, it seems wrong to have one without the other). I hope I’m wrong about this but his support of the LGBT community seems mostly focused on the L and more for his own entertainment than any actual support

9. YanDev is making more money than he should (and handles it poorly)

His Patreon may be dropping, but his YouTube channel is raking in even more money with 2M+ subscribers, and he’s making even more money from things like merch and donations... all while apparently still living with his parents (which i don’t find hard to believe). He’s also apparently bought 2 switches and a sex doll instead of using the money to hire the help he desperately needs with his game

Assuming he really does still live with his parents, I fully support the petition to get his Patreon suspended until he at least finishes Osana. Most game devs don’t make any money off of their games until they’ve finished it completely

10. YanDev wrote rape fanfics

So I did briefly check his old ffn profile some time ago, and as far as I could see everything had the proper ratings and warnings

Tagging/warning/rating is a fanfic author’s only responsibility to you. You make the choice on whether or not to read it. If everything is appropriately tagged and you read it anyway, that’s on you, not the author. If you are mature enough to be on the internet unsupervised, then you are mature enough to curate your own experience.

Fiction is the place to explore controversial themes and topics. It doesn’t mean in any way that a content creator would condone the things they write about in real life

11. YanDev steals art/assets

He does, and still hasn’t apologized for the DLC rivals thing. In fact he made a post defending himself for it, and even compared himself to Andy Warhol in the process (lol)

I’m not sure but I think I heard something recently about him continuing to do this type of thing (the grass, etc.). In which case we should continue to put pressure on him until he credits the creators of whatever art/assets he stole. Art theft is inexcusable

12. The fanbase is mostly kids

This is unfortunately true, and it’s a big problem (i’ve had to deal with it myself on my youtube channel)

However I would personally say that this problem is outside of YanDev’s control. Kids seem to be drawn to edgy/violent things, or things they shouldn’t be allowed to see (just look at Call of Duty). I put the blame for this on the parents who aren’t monitoring their kids’ computer activities. As for YanDev, he’s not a babysitter and it’s not his responsibility to censor his content for kids who shouldn’t be viewing it in the first place

Underage or not though, he should really avoid calling his fans things like “fuck kittens”. Even from the perspective of an adult that’s super creepy to hear

13. The character designs suck

Some are alright, others are absolutely awful

I think that, in a game built on anime tropes, characters should be allowed to have unnaturally-coloured hair. I mean, a lot of characters in anime do have weird hair that you wouldn’t see in real life (seemingly without any dye), and it can add a lot of personality to their designs

But some YanSim characters push that too far. The science club is the worst of the worst imo, despite being otherwise one of my favourite clubs. The neon streaks are ugly, and what’s up with the visors? Why are they allowed to wear those outside of club time? Why do they wear them during club time, as opposed to actual goggles or something? (i have this issue with a lot of club accessories, imo the accessories are unnecessary in the first place)

The bullies and the light music club also take things too far. Their designs are crowded, hard to look at, and out-of-place. Nothing against characters with multi-coloured hair, but there’s a time and a place and a “prestigious” school setting isn’t it

(also, slightly off-topic, but why does almost every “intended couple” look like they could be siblings?)

I could probably make a whole separate post on the character designs in YS, but I’ll save that for another day. (i’m just very passionate about character design)

14. YanDev has collaborated with porn games 3 times now

Once I could overlook (after all, the characters are 18+ and YS is already not for kids) but a third time? Seriously? And so soon after the last one?

Not only do I have mixed feelings about Yandev doing crossovers when his game isn’t even in the demo stage yet, isn’t this game supposed to be taken seriously as a horror game? I can’t think of a single other horror game that has willingly put its characters in porn.

Also I can’t help noticing that he advertises the porn game crossovers a lot more than he did with that one Dark Deception crossover. Did he ever even mention that one? I only ever saw it on the Dark Deception Twitter

15. YanDev is rude to his fans

I don’t have a lot to say against this one. As far as I’ve seen, he is, and he doesn’t take criticism well at all (just look at the subreddit - yes, a lot of the things that were removed deserved it (unfunny cum chalice jokes, etc.) but there have also been completely innocent questions, fanarts, jokes, and fanfics that have been removed. Not to mention mods going through peoples’ post history and banning them for being active in r/Osana. Both he and his mod team seem insanely paranoid)

I think he’s going to have to grow a thicker skin and stop censoring critiques if he wants to get anywhere with this game. Not just fans who bring up tiny details that might need changing, but also big, glaring issues like the code and character designs and such. He also doesn’t seem that professional for a game developer who wants to be taken seriously

That being said, if you’re the type to spam the discord server/subreddit/fan communities who have nothing to do with Yandev like the amino, you deserved that ban

16. YanDev defends pedophiles/the “sex license” thing

“No adult ever has any excuse to do anything sexual with a child. As soon as you touch a kid, you have crossed the line from being someone with a mental disorder to being the worst scum imaginable. Having a mental illness is involuntary, but touching a kid is a choice. If you have a mental illness, I feel bad for you. If you violate a child, I feel disgust and contempt for you, and I think you deserve the death penalty.” -From YanDev himself on this page

The sex license thing is also debunked on the same page: the whole conversation was taken out of context and the hypothetical “license” was supposed to be something that only an adult could meet the requirements for

17. “Corona-chan”

This was a really insensitive move to make in the middle of a pandemic, and I agree that the design was racist

However, YanDev listened to the fans’ complaints and removed the easter egg a day later, plus gave an apology. I think that this was the best thing he could do in that scenario and idk what else people are expecting him to do about it

18. YanDev’s general portrayal of high schoolers

Honestly, it’s not 100% realistic (especially in some of the dialogue. you know what i’m talking about)

I’m surprised that more students don’t seem to have friends outside of their clubs. It seems like all the students mostly stick within their club/group - walking to school together, spending their breaks together, etc. A lot of the ways the characters behave are very robotic, like walking in a perfectly straight line everywhere they go

That being said, a lot of the things i’ve seen criticized in regards to this are not part of the problem. By the time you’re in high school, you’ve probably hit puberty. It doesn’t make a character automatically sexualized if they have bigger breasts (though some designs in the game are over-sexualized, like a few certain staff members)

19. Muja, Mida, and Hanako

Let’s start with Hanako: Yandev has already said that she’s not romantically interested in her brother, she’s just insanely clingy and doesn’t want him to get a girlfriend out of fear that he’ll forget about her. If you still insist that she’s in love with Taro, then that’s on you

Muja and Mida I have mixed feelings on.

If every student is 18 or older, meaning that the first-years are 18, that makes Taro, a third-year, 20-21 years old. If Mida and Muja are in their early 20s as Yandev has said, that means that the age gap isn’t an issue. However, it’s still wrong for a teacher or a nurse to pursue their student/patient

I don’t think Yandev should need to spell out “hey, Mida and Muja are not good people” in flashing neon signs. The game is rated M and anyone who’s old enough to play it should be able to understand that without it being said. If you need morality in fiction spoon-fed to you, you probably shouldn’t be watching/reading/playing anything rated above PG

On the other hand, YanDev has a nasty habit of making these things into a joke, which is really insensitive and creepy. Like saying that Mida’s favourite food is “the spit of a younger man” (yikes), that she’s tried to seduce her own students 69 times (haha 69 so funney right guys XD), or that whole confession scene mess. It’s less of a problem with Muja, but it’s still there. As much as the audience shouldn’t need everything served to them on a silver platter, issues like these should still be treated with respect, not made into gags

20. Yandev wastes time on “Easter eggs”

I have to agree that he does spend time implementing unnecessary things sometimes (like the abc challenge), but as far as I know the Easter eggs are what he does in his spare time while waiting for assets from volunteers. However: snap mode, which was hyped up for years, turned out to be a flop with zero purpose, disappointing a good portion of the fanbase.

21. Love Letter

So far I’m really liking the look of this game: I like the models and the school environment they’ve shown, and it seems like they’re doing a lot of things in better or more interesting ways than YanDev, like not outright telling us who the rivals are. I don’t think it’s fair to accuse them of “stealing” anything, when it seems like most of the assets the games have in common are the things they bought from the Unity store (Love Letter even changed the base Unity model to have a more appealing look)

I'm glad to see that they actually listened to criticism from fans on things like Setsuna’s design (I love her newest look and I hope it’s the final one). From design alone she’s already a more interesting protagonist, and she looks like the sort of character you’d actually enjoy playing as

Not sure I totally buy the claim that it was all done in two weeks, but even if it was over the span of months, that’s still miles better than YanSim’s six years

Knowing that Dr. Apeis has already ditched one project I’m staying open to new information on this, but as of right now I’m looking forward to playing the demo!

Overall: A lot of the hate against the game and the dev are unnecessary, but some is justified and we shouldn’t blindly defend everything he does (seriously, you can admit that the character designs are shit. no one is going to stone you for it).  There are a lot of improvements Dev could make, both on the game and on his behaviour towards fans.

I think that the biggest improvement would be for the game to just stop taking itself so seriously. At this point, it’s so full of memes, cringy google translate names, excessive edginess, and gags that it may as well just be a fun ridiculous anime game instead of a serious horror game. I feel like taking this approach could make it more successful (plus, it doesn’t really have a lot of horror elements aside from the gore)

There are a lot of cases of people taking things too far. Like spamming YanDev with explicit gore/animal abuse, trying to swat him, spamming volunteers with weird porn, trying to hack into volunteers’ accounts (including bank accounts), etc. That is going way too far, no matter how awful or pathetic you think a person is. If you are doing these kinds of things, you are doing more harm than Dev or his volunteers

Attacking YanDev’s appearance is unnecessary and not related to his behaviour or skills. Same with the chalice memes

However, I’ve seen a lot of YanDev’s defenders lashing out against “gremlins”, lumping all of them in with the kinds of people who do these things. If you check r/Osana, you’ll see that most if not all of the people there condemn this behaviour: the gore and porn spammers are a loud minority (and i’m willing to bet most of them are the basement-dwelling losers from KiwiFarms and 4Chan)

Attacking and/or spamming fans who are just trying to enjoy the game is also unnecessary. Someone liking a video game you don’t like is not doing you any harm. Be mature and move on

I’m not sure if some of what I’ve said above is 100% accurate so if anyone actually read this and has evidence against it then feel free to add

I think that’s about all I have to say on that. Again, i don’t know if it will change anything in the fandom but i really just wanted to get this off my chest

[megalodont]

mdzswomen’s Women Appreciation Weeks: WOMEN!!!!

i have had so much fun doing this challenge with @captain-apostrophe; thank you so much for sharing it with me! and thank you to all the other amazing creators who contributed to the project, and of course to the people at @mdzswomen who created and ran the event. i hope you all like the final installment!

read it here or on ao3

-

JiaoJiao to Wear World’s Largest Ruby to Phoenix Mountain Ball

Instagram influencer and controversial girlfriend of the already-married second Wen son, Wang Lingjiao, known professionally as JiaoJiao, to wear the famous Nightsun Ruby as part of her ensemble at the annual Phoenix Mountain Ball...

  Wen Chao’s Mistress to Rock Nightsun at PMB

JiaoJiao posted a picture of herself in a vault wearing the famous ruby, revealing she’d be wearing the necklace to this year’s PM Ball…

  Instagram Influencer Slammed for Exposing Necklace Secret

Popular Insta model JiaoJiao, who this week revealed she’d be wearing the world’s largest ruby to the Phoenix Mountain Ball, is receiving harsh backlash for “inviting trouble”, says Song Zichen, head of security at the Baixue Museum…

  *

  Luo Qingyang had sworn she was out. She’d been straight for years, enjoying life as an upright citizen with her wonderful husband and bright daughter. 

But when she’d heard that Wang Lingjiao of all people, was going to be wearing the Nightsun —well, who could resist that kind of temptation? Luo Qingyang had turned down bigger jobs in her years since going straight, but the thought of humiliating Wang Lingjiao was too much for even her iron resolve. She could still remember the headlines; JiaoJiao Ruins MianMian’s Career, JiaoJiao Leaves MianMian With No Face, Need Some Ice For That Burn MianMian?. Luo Qingyang had never cared what people thought of her, but the memory of the harassment she had received—her family had received—made her burn in a whole different way. 

So she had started calling in favours.

It hadn’t been as difficult as she’d expected to get a man on the inside. The Wens were notoriously insular and suspicious, so the chances of someone infiltrating them this close to the ball were astronomically low. Desperate, Luo Qingyang had approached someone already in the Wens’ confidence, hoping to get at least a little information out of them. The minute she had walked into the doctor’s consult room, however, before she’d even had a chance to speak, Wen Qing had declared she was in. 

From her Luo Qingyang had learned that in the wake of Wang Lingjiao’s indiscretion, the decision had been made to have her wear a replica after the initial red carpet photo session, which would be rabidly monitored by both security and the press. After this the necklace would be placed in a vault in the building’s basement. 

It had been many, many years since Luo Qingyang had been a part of this set. She’d lived as a regular mum for so long now that there was no chance of her getting an invitation. Thankfully Yu Ziyuan, an indispensable member of her little team, attended such things regularly. She brought Luo Qingyang as her plus one, which also gave her the excuse to follow her around, ready to knock out (as she’d been specifically instructed not to kill) anyone who needed to be with the poison she kept in her tanzanite ring. 

Luo Qingyang had been introduced to the terrifying woman by the enterprise’s benefactor, Jin Lusi. The head of the Jin family was the only reason Luo Qingyang could afford the designer gowns for herself and the rest of her team, much less the various bribes and equipment that needed to be paid for. Luo Qingyang had thought she was sunk when Jin Lusi caught her talking to Wen Qing on the phone, but it came out that Jin Lusi had just as much reason as her to see Wang Lingjiao humiliated. Apparently, before attaching herself to that toad Wen Chao, Wang Lingjiao had attempted to sleep her way to wealth and fame by seducing the late Jin Guangshan and posting about it online.

Well, if it was a scandal Jin Lusi was paying for then Luo Qingyang felt confident she could deliver.

The carpet was a nightmare. Many an insensitive question was asked when people saw ‘MianMian’ on the arm of the Violet Spider, but Luo Qingyang hadn’t forgotten her media training in her years as a mother, smiling for the cameras and speaking without saying anything without breaking a sweat.

Finally they were inside, and everything was just as Wen Qing had said it would be; the layout, the security measures, the guest list. Luo Qingyang had been impressed with Wen Qing’s ability to lie to her family without flinching, and she was certain this operation wouldn’t be possible without the information she'd been funneling back to her. 

And all to humiliate her repugnant cousin. What a motivator spite could be. 

The ball was exhausting, but Meng Shi’s performance was an incredible highlight. Luo Qingyang especially liked the part where she almost fell off the stage at the exact right moment for Jiang Yanli to switch the security cameras focused on the vault to a prerecorded loop. 

“It’s just a hobby!” She had insisted when Luo Qingyang had approached her, coding with one hand and rocking her sleeping daughter with the other. “But I’m always happy to help out a friend.” That woman’s finger sandwiches were almost as dangerous as her. 

The hardest person to get on board was the woman Luo Qingyang had known as Granny Wen. She’d insisted she was retired—and Luo Qingyang sympathised, but had hoped to convince her anyway. But it wasn’t until Wen Qing, who turned out to be a distant relative of hers, had whispered something to her that she’d agreed to participate. She was currently busy convincing one of the high-ranking security guards that she was a confused old woman, thoroughly distracting him to allow a-Qing, who had the lightest fingers in the city, to lift his security pass. It was the work of a moment for her to clone it, using the RFID cloner hidden in her waiter’s uniform. Luo Qingyang was so lucky to have a woman like Sisi on her side; tell her you needed something and she’d get it to you within hours, as long as you didn’t ask any questions. 

When a-Qing shot her a subtle okay sign Luo Qingyang made her move. She let out a groan, clutching her stomach and leaning heavily on Yu Ziyuan’s arm. The older woman made an effort to look concerned instead of irritated, and was partially successful. 

“Could you get me to the bathroom please?” Luo Qingyang gasped, and stumbled along convincingly as Yu Ziyuan led her there. Luo Qingyang tried not to feel too guilty about the women in the bathroom who were knocked unconscious by the Violet Spider’s bite, focusing on unscrewing the vent cover in the ceiling, perfectly steady as she balanced on the sink in her high heels.

Once it had popped off Luo Qingyang lowered it quietly to the floor, and pulled herself into the narrow tunnel with the help of a firm push from Yu Ziyuan. It took her an inordinate amount of time to shuffle through the aluminium shaft, the embroidery on her dress pressing into her skin uncomfortably. 

“Left...left...right…” She murmured to herself as she navigated. Finally she reached the last fork and encountered the two women waiting for her. 

“Took you long enough,” Jinzhu huffed. 

“Put this on,” Yinzhu ordered, holding out a harness. 

Luo Qingyang obeyed, allowing them to take over when she shrugged with the many buckles and straps. Soon she was harnessed and strapped onto a line. 

“Yinzhu will go first,” Jinzhu explained, “then you, then me.”

“Just like we practiced,” Yinzhu said, and tipped backwards into a vertical shaft. The line slithered across the floor and pulled taut. Swallowing a tickle of nerves Luo Qingyang lowered herself into the tunnel as well. Together the three women rappelled down into the dark, the small space echoing with their footsteps and grunts of effort.

Finally they emerged into the basement, right in front of the heavy vault door. Luo Qingyang raised her face to one of the cameras and shot it a thumbs up, knowing Jiang Yanli—and possibly her children—were the only ones who could see them. 

“Hey you made it!” The mysterious woman known only as Cangse Sanren said, grinning at them. 

“Now for the hard part,” Luo Qingyang replied with a matching smile.

“Pshh.” Cangse Sanren blew that off. “Hard? No way. Look at these little babies I invented, could blow right through a door five hundred times this thick.” She pointed to the several sticky charges she had planted around the perimeter of the circular door. “They’re noisy little suckers, though,” she warned. “So I’d plug your ears if I were you.” That was all the warning she gave before raising a single finger and dramatically pressing a button on her remote with maximum flourish. Luo Qingyang and the catbuglers clapped their hands over their ears just in time—

Ffft

The sound of Cangse Sanren’s laughter was louder than the tiny explosion which barely jostled the door. Luo Qingyang glared at her. 

“There isn't time for jokes, this is ser—”

BOOM

The delayed explosion rattled the room and all teeth in Luo Qingyang’s head. Cangse Sanren was still cackling, but the sound was now almost drowned out by the wailing of alarms. 

Luo Qingyang shot her another look, but wasted no time rushing through the gap their demolitions expert had made. 

The vault was full of crates, but the velvet box containing their prize sat in pride of place on a shelf near the entrance. Luo Qingyang flipped it open matter-of-factly, taking a moment to inspect the stunning piece in a loupe she’d pulled from her cleavage. 

It was the real deal. 

Leaving the box on the shelf Luo Qingyang shoved the necklace down her dress and rushed to clip herself to the line where Cangse Sanren and the catburglers were waiting. Jinzhu gave the line two tugs and suddenly the four were being yanked sharply upwards, sailing through the air to the top of the shaft. 

“This way,” Jinzhu called, leading them on hands and knees through several twists and turns, before kicking out a grate with one booted heel. She dropped through first, followed by Yinzhu. 

“Jeronimo,” Cangse Sanren said with a wink at Luo Qingyang and disappeared after them. Luo Qingyang was the last, landing in a perfectly balanced crouch despite her fancy footwear. 

They were in a loading bay, just as planned, but instead of a catering truck or armoured van, parked in front of them was a car clearly built for speed. 

“Get in,” Yu Ziyuan snapped, throwing open the back door, and the four women piled in.

“Don’t forget your seatbelts!” Qin Su said cheerfully from the driver’s seat, and tore out of the garage so fast she spun the wheels.

Luo Qingyang held on as she was thrown around, Qin Su expertly dodging through traffic with a speed and precision that left anyone who might have been following them in the dust. Eventually she merged into traffic, blending right in, and took an exit which would lead them to their fence, Bicao. Luo Qingyang settled back into her seat as the adrenaline wore off, and finally allowed herself to relax. She pulled the necklace from her dress and looked at it, warm from the heat of her body, like a pool of blood in her palm. As they passed under a streetlight Luo Qingyang caught sight of her grin in the polished surface of the gem. 

Vengeance was sweet.

*

NIGHTSUN STOLEN

The world’s largest ruby was stolen today in a shocking heist at the Phoenix Mountain Ball…

  Wen Chao’s Mistress Loses Nightsun Ruby Thanks To Insta Post 

JiaoJiao couldn’t resist the urge to flaunt her record-breaking necklace on Instagram and now the Nightsun Ruby has been stolen in a shocking turn of events…

  JiaoJiao Being Sued for Role in Ruby Heist

The Baixue Museum is suing Instagram mode JiaoJiao after their famous ruby necklace was stolen during the Phoenix Mountain Ball…