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vegalocity · 3 years ago

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Comforting Hugs and (platonic) kiss on the cheek. Min Yi falls and gets a boo boo so Huntsman has to Comfort her, much to his discomfort. Cause what you wrote with Uncle Goliath was adorable so now it's Uncle Huntsys turn. - Pixel Anon

Affection meme

4. Comforting hugs

8. Kisses on cheek

Whoops i tripped and it turned into feels how'd that happen

Huntsman had never wanted kids. He didn’t like kids, he didn’t trust kids, Kids always seemed to be more of a pain than they were worth.

Which was why he wasn’t particularly excited when everyone found out that Syntax had a kid. Some little wannabe detective whom was barely old enough for grade school yet somehow believed she was capable of solving any mystery handed to her but still needed to hold hands with a grownup while crossing the street.

Another thing he didn’t like about kids, they didn’t even have the skills to back up their egos.

The only positive thing he could scrounge together about Syntax's Daughter for a long time was that she seemed to be a rather tough kid. Always tripping and falling and scraping herself up in ways he was (pretty sure) a lesser child would have stopped everything to cry about, brushing the dirt off of her clothes and going back to whatever she was doing. At times Syntax or her aunt needed to pull her away and tell her to bandage up her injuries first and she’d protest over it.

So he’d give her that. She was tough.

That in no way meant he was alright with babysitting just because he was the only one without any plans tonight.

He’d be completely fair and say that he expected it tpo be a quiet night. The brat was in between ‘mysteries’ and was quietly working on one of her arts and crafts projects. He’d figured they’d have no real reason to interact until she’d tell him it was about dinner time and they’d… order in or something, he didn’t know what kids liked to eat.

But that didn’t mean he was okay with it just happening to him to be stuck with the brat all night until Syntax got home from whatever tech-related insanity the Monkie Kid and his ilk had pulled him into.

Though when he heard a yelp of surprise and pain, he’d assumed it was something like, the little gremlin tripping on her own socks or something and falling face first onto the floor or whatever. So he didn’t give it any mind as he continued to sharpen his lucky blade.

Though he didn’t hear any grumbles of annoyance as she continued on with what she was doing, or even laughter at her own clumsy actions. Then she was a little blur of black hair and pink jacket as she darted from the kitchen area to the bathroom, passing by as quickly and quietly as possible.

Now… That was… probably something….

The bathroom door shut with a thud, but he could pick up on sniffling and upset whimpering noises among the sounds of bottles clattering, every so often punctuated by more yelps of pain.

Then he smelled burning. It was coming from the kitchen and sure enough there was a skillet that had fallen to the ground, and a pair of eggs half sprayed along the stovetop, some parts very quickly turning to charcoal.

What had happened put itself together rather quickly and he cursed under his breath at the idiocy of children.

When he returned to the bathroom the whimpering had ended and was replaced entirely with the sniffling, and the rummaging of bottles was replaced with the running of the faucet.

“What are ya doing in there?”

“Nothing!”

“Bull. Open the door kid.”

“It’s okay! I’m okay!”

“Open the door before I break it. Minyi.” The child’s name felt weird on his tongue, but she had to know he was serious.

There was a pause, and then the door creaked open. The kid stood there, moving her hand from the doorknob to wipe at her eyes, the other hand held behind her back.

“You’re really gonna be a stupid kid and hide it from me?”

She rocked back and forth on her heels, her glasses were missing, probably dropped them when she ran in here, so she couldn’t hide her face like she usually did.

After another long pause where Huntsman debated what sort of threat he could make to a six year old without her father finding out about it and finalizing those vivisection plans he was sure he had squirreled away somewhere but constantly denied, the brat relented and held out her hidden hand, and sure enough the sleeve was rolled up to the elbow and the outer side of her hand front he base of her pinky all the way down to her wrist was an angry red.

“Dumb kid.”

She whimpered again and a fresh set of tears began to bubble out of her eyes and he rolled his. “Sit down. I’m not risking your Aunt’s wrath by not patching you up after you did something stupid.” The kid quietly did as instructed and sat on the edge of the bathtub as he opened the medicine cabinet. The burn cream was far too high up for her to have been able to reach.

She had started to cry properly now… Stupid kids crying their eyes out over dumb things.

“Please don’t tell Daddy or Auntie.” she squeaked out when he finally crouched in front of her, holding out a hand for when her own was placed in his.

“Why? You scared of admitting you burned yourself trying to make your own dinner instead of being the rational and smart kid they both keep saying you are?”

The brat kept crying as he finished wrapping up the wound until the entire area was covered over her left hand.

“I can’t cause any problems…” That… gave him pause.

Sure kids want to be good. They might be little shits but they rarely WANT to be bad kids. So if she’d said that she ‘wanted to be a good girl’ or whatever that would have made sense. But… ‘cause problems’?

“What are you on about?”

“Daddy and Auntie have enough problems, and I can’t be one too!” she looked up at him then, sniffing pathetically and hair falling in her face at her vehemence “I gotta be no problems at all! Cuz Cuz… I’m a trooper! And clever, and a delight to have in class!”

….damn here he thought obsessive perfectionism wouldn’t kick in until teen years.

“You’re six years old is what you are.” UGH… he knew what adults were SUPPOSED to do around crying children.

Didn’t mean he had to like it.

Huntsman offered his hand to the kid again, and she didn’t hesitate before sliding her uninjured one into his. He tugged her forward, and she stumbled until her little body collided with his. And to keep her from escaping he placed his other hand on her back. “Who ever told you you ain’t allowed to be a damn kid, huh?”

“Nobody…”

“Kids don’t just pick up ‘delight to have in class’ from nowhere, I'm guessing it was a teacher?”

“No!”

“Then who's messing with the development of clan young? It’s been decades since this clan has had any young, and if our only child in thirty years has had her development messed with…” the kid let go of his hand and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“...Nobody has to… people are always sayin' stuff about how scary it is that me an’ Auntie are the only humans in our family… that you an’ Uncle Goliath eat people… That Daddy used to be handsome but now he’s just….i forget the word… The teachers wanna keep an eye on me, they keep saying that ‘demon behavior’ might rub off on me. And it’s stupid!” She pulled away to look at him again and she’d stopped crying, her face pinched in a pout. “It’s stupid cuz you an Uncle Goliath are super cool! And Daddy is Daddy! But they’re all scared and they shouldn’t be. But…” she looked away again and Huntsman took the opportunity to lift her into the air to steadily walk them back out into the living room. “But if I start bein’ a problem then they’re gonna think its your guys fault. It’s not, but they'll think it. And they're gonna do bad things cuz they’ll think they gotta and It’ll be my fault because I made problems and I can’t make problems!”

….huh….

“Maybe I should show those grownups how right they are about how dangerous I can be, if it upsets you that much.” The kid looked back up at him and he made sure to bear his fangs properly. She’d probably get scared too and he could remind her how he and Goliath were actually in fact quite dangerous, and while her father would never dream of hurting her, those ladies probably had the right idea, too.

And then the little shit laughed at him.

“You’re silly.” But just like that her mood was better. She leaned in and before he could tell her to buzz off or drop her she pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Thanks for bandaging me Uncle Huntsman. But I messed up the eggs still so I gotta make another dinner.”

“If you really don’t wanna cause problems-” he dropped her, she landed on the couch harmlessly. “-Just tell the grownup in the room that you’re getting hungry. Don’t just assume you know what you’re doing.”

She fingered the bandages on her hand again when she sat down properly in the seat. “Okay. Sorry Uncle Huntsman.”

“Just because you don’t want to cause problems doesn’t mean you have to do everything yourself. You’re literally a child.”

“Okay Uncle Huntsman.”

“Now out on one of your damn movies while I see if there’s anything edible left in this place.”

“Okay!”

More rebound than a beach ball apparently, that kid. Observant too, if she could connect probably idle chatter that… either teachers or parents of friends… would whisper about to not only her and hers, but also deduce the danger of her family being considered ‘scary’ and what she should do to combat it (whether it was a good idea or not)

He wondered how many of those scrapes she acted like she didn’t even notice were just her putting on a brave face because being seen as weak was suddenly something she thought she couldn’t afford to do.

… Minyi really was a tough kid, wasn’t she?

Send me stuff!

#lmk OCs #lmk Huntsman #letters to vega #Vega writes stories too #affection meme #I slightly edited the prompt bc Min Yi's a little tougher than that #but sheis still 6 and thus inherently stupid #OC: Minyi

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space--cadet-glow · 7 years ago

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Theory: The Irony of Vaati, Part Thirty: Vaati’s Right Eye

So, continuing the three-parter trio section about Vaati's eyes, just what's under Vaati's bangs?

Possibilities... 1. A regular eye 2. Some injured eye 3. No eye at all 4. Scars? 5. Enchanted eye 6. Blind eye?

So, let's look them over. Take AN EYE at them, if you will.

1. A regular eye The most boring, yet most likely, choice. It just ruins all speculation, though. In fact, I don't think any answer will ever be satisfying to anyone, since everybody has their own headcanons, and if one way was confirmed, then all the theorists would probably just keep on theorising anyway.

2. Some injured eye Like a minor injury that's nothing more than a nuisance to him. Why this doesn't work is because, why would he go to all that trouble to cover it up if it didn't bother him that much?

3. No eye at all Okay, this is a weird one and goes off an idea I saw in a Fanfiction once. Ignoring the fact that Minish Vaati clearly has two eyes, the same cannot be 100% confirmed for Hylian Vaati, as his bangs are covering his right eye up. The idea goes that there is no eye there at all, and in its place is a single tear, reminiscent of the Sheikah insignia. Or, in my theory, either nothing. Here's why the tie-in to the Sheikah doesn't work: there were no confirmed Sheikah in "The Minish Cap", nor were they even MENTIONED (I've seen a theory floating around that Minister Potho was a Sheikah, but it's just a theory). But, here's a strange reason why the 'blank space' theory of mine might work: evidence courtesy of GHIRAHIM AND THE MOON CHILDREN. In "Skyward Sword", Ghirahim supposedly had two pointed ears (as his final form did), but his basic-form in-game 3D model said otherwise, as his right ear was pointed, but his left ear was perfectly rounded and hidden under his hair. It is said that the reason behind this was because the guys at Nintendo didn't want to animate the gap in his hair that would be caused by a pointed ear sticking out, so they gave him a round one to keep his hair as one piece. AND, in the N64 version of "Majora's Mask", the Moon Children (who, bizarrely, look like the Happy Mask Salesman) wear the Masks of the Four Bosses, and one final Child wears Majora's Mask itself. If one were to look under the Masks at just the right angle, or use an editor of some kind to get the Masks off, you'll find that all five of the Moon Children do not HAVE FACES. This a strange choice, since it can be found that the Iron Knuckles still have Nabooru's face from "Ocarina of Time" under them, so why wouldn't they program faces for the Moon Children? Unless there was a reason for it. And if "The Minish Cap" ever got upgraded to a 3D remake, it makes me wonder if they'll put nothing under Vaati's bangs as either a reference to Ghirahim and the Moon Children, or just to save time/money. In that case, did the lack of Ghirahim's ear and the Moon Children's faces even matter at all? Oh, this is getting weird...

4. Scars? I've always headcanoned the mark under his left eye as a scar he got in his childhood when a spell he tested out backfired on him. But, who's to say that his right eye didn't take a worse hit than the left one did? Personally, I think his right eye is a little wonky (ie, section six below), but what IF it took a major hit? The Timeline of "The Minish Cap" is so skewed that literally any headcanon works for this. But a bunch of scars, I think does not work. Something that important would have been drawn in on Minish Vaati (or Hylian Vaati, for that matter), which it isn't. Something as small as a scar under his left eye, now that would be hard to put on a twenty-four pixel tall sprite, so I can see why they messed up there.

5. Enchanted eye Like Wrath from "Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood"? But an eye that has great, mystical powers, too... But here's why I think we can eliminate the "enchanted" eye: Vaati wanted to be "transformed, perfect", and having an enchanted, magical, all-seeing eye would imply that he was perfect already, so I think he wouldn't have it if he was so dead-set on being perfect. Unless he just SAW himself as imperfect. He, when referring to when he was a Minish, called himself a "meek, miniscule nothing", after all! And thus, if his eye WAS enchanted, he didn't see the potential in himself and thought that he had to be better and better, etc. I think we can still cross the "enchanted eye" thing off of the list, though. It just doesn't quite fit with Vaati's over-all theme.

6. Blind eye? This ties back to Part Nine of this Theory Series, where I mentioned the possibility of Vaati's final forms only have one eye being caused by him not using that eye in the first place. I joked that it was just because of a lazy eye caused by his hairstyle (the emo bangs), but what if he literally couldn't SEE in that eye in the first place? Minish Vaati "has" two normal eyes, but are we really going to trust the Sprite Art at this point? So, this way, Minish Vaati was blind in his right eye, hid it with his hair as Hylian Vaati, and then fixed/ignored the problem as Vaati Reborn and so on. This works with the "transformed, perfect" thing, since transforming himself would not only UPGRADE him, it would PERFECT HIM. Oh- and here's another thought: what if Minish Vaati became Ezlo's apprentice in the first place to learn magic to help him deal with being half-blind? Nah... It works the "imperfection" thing, but I literally just cannot picture Vaati acknowledging his problems at all, to neither himself nor others.

And if something IS wrong with his right eye, then here are possibilities on why Vaati Reborn has two, perfectly normal eyes... 1. Vaati's right eye was never meddled with/mangled 2. He fixed whatever problem was there when he became Reborn

1. Vaati's right eye was never meddled with/mangled Again, very boring, but very probable. But that's not much of a theory!

2. He fixed whatever problem was there when he became Reborn After all, he wanted to be "transformed, perfect"! Like I mentioned in the "blind eye" part above, this could work. He could have hidden/ignored his problems all this time, and when he got enough power to fix it, he did.

But since Minish Vaati appears to have two normal eyes, this creates some possibilities of its own: 1. There was some problem, he just never acknowledged it 2. Whatever happened (or not/if at all) happened when Vaati was in his Hylian disguise

1. There was some problem, he just never acknowledged it Vaati has a "doesn't think things through" personality going on (ex: "Oh, Zelda has a power of the Light, and I'm looking for an object called the Light Force. Hmm... No correlation!"), so maybe if there WAS something wrong, he never bothered to care about it. And then, he subconsciously fixed it as Reborn, maybe? I don't know...

2. Whatever happened (or not/if at all) happened when Vaati was in his Hylian disguise Of course, what happened has some plausibilites of its own: 1. Nothing, 2. Injury of some sort, or 3. He gave something up in return for the Magic Hat's power and fixed it when he got his hands on the Light Force. 1. Nothing: Not a theory. 2. Injury of some sort: a scar gotten at the Sword-Fighting Tournament, perhaps? Or.... 3. He gave something up in return for the Magic Hat's power and fixed it when he got his hands on the Light Force. This part is getting its own theory, which is the third of the three-in-a-row theories about only Vaati's eyes.

With this, any headcanon about Vaati's right eye works, even in a game-development sense. Unless confirmed otherwise, there IS NO ANSWER, the theories reign supreme! Unless...

#the bard of light rants #vaati #minish cap #the minish cap #the legend of zelda #theory series the irony of vaati #what am i even doing #lolwut

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stuffphilmade · 8 years ago

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Life as a Cyborg - Day 0 - Implantation

Please note: No blood or gore is shown in this blog or the accompanying video. It was the 22nd of April 2017 15:00, my phone lights up with facebook notifications, change of plan, it’s GO time. My partner and I change out of our casual clothes into something a bit more presentable, grab my camera, with a shade of cowardice I pop a few painkillers in the hope to defend against some of the perceived (but false) impending pain.

What I didn’t know is that I would be introduced to my new cyborg family and our joint 2nd birthday, 22/04/17.

We were not to become Human 2.0 but something closer to Human 1.2.

This is not a work of fiction, on the 22nd of April 2017 my partner and I got dressed and jumped into my car to attend a so-called #implantParty where we were implanted with a Dangerous Things xNT NFC chip.

Leeds International Festival, a tech and art festival in the North of England, had invited Hannes Sjob (@hsjob) and Keren Elazari (@k3r3n3) to fly in from Israel and Sweden respectively. They flew from their own countries to give a talk on Biohacking, Cyberpunk & Hacker Culture.

I had known of this talk was for me since the first week it was announced, I, like Keren was massively influenced by 1995′s “Hackers”, “Ghost in the Shell” and 1999′s turn of the millennium western cyberpunk classic, “The Matrix”.

From the moment I heard this talk was going ahead, I booked tickets. On the booking page, there was one line that blew my mind: “If you’re brave enough, you’re able at the event to get a live chip implant onstage too.”

I had watched the Vice documentary about Dangerous Things: The Man Biohacking Encryption From His Garage

I had watched Keren’s Ted Talk: Hackers: The internets Immune system

I had just finished rewatching Ghost in the Shell and reading the manga in anticipation of the Scarlett Johansson’s remake. I was ready to join Major Kusanagi.

I bought tickets for my partner, knowing what and opportunity this was I proceeded to assault the Facebook and Twitter feed of the organisers trying to find a method of signing up to get what would have been a $100~ implant for free, zero, zilch, without shipping, import tax, even without having to pay a piercer or a private medic to “install” it in a safe manner.

I heard nothing.

The day before the event I read a post on social media, from one of the lovely organisers, that the chipset WOULD be xNT NFC model from Dangerous Things in the USA.

I got butterflies at hearing this, I knew of their pride in their products, their high standard of construction, their extensive (if a bit ghetto) testing procedures including Amal (the owner of Dangerous Things) having the first model he produced implanted in his hand for 11 years and counting. On top of this, the NFC model was the one I wanted for two reasons: 1) I have a Google Pixel phone with an NFC reader, I could use this to hand out my business card in a futuristic technical manner. 2) The 13.56MHz frequency is what my current hackspace card registers at, TL;DR I COULD USE IT TO GET IN AND OUT OF DOORS WITHOUT KEYS!

Tech Specs:

xNT tag – 13.56MHz ISO14443A & NFC Type 2 NTAG216 chip

2x12mm cylindrical sterile biocompatible implant package

ISO14443A – compatible with all ISO14443A RFID systems

Fully NFC Type 2 compliant – compatible with all NFC devices

The day of the event rolls around, I get up, have lunch and wait nervously for 18:00 to roll around so that I can head to the University of Leeds lecture hall, watch two amazing speakers and, presumably, thrust my hand in the air and hope to be selected as one of the few people who could get implanted as my wonderful partner waves on from the stands. .. now.. some of you may have noticed my time discrepancies above, that is because it did not unfold as such: Sat waiting for 18:00 to roll around, we eat and as it hits about 15:00 my phone lights up as if all the posts on the event page I had made over the past month had been replied to... it turns out they had:

“Hey folks! Due to complications with the venue, we're unable to do the piercings there BUT DONT WORRY as we are still able to do them but before the event. 10 places are available”

Followed by instructions that it would happen at 16:30 in the north of the city at a well-known piercing parlour.

I had a Sherlock Holmes out of body moment as I planned our route from the south to the north of the city, what to wear, logistics of keeping my hands clean, messaged a fellow Leeds Hackspace member about the change of plan, I threw a dress at my partner and ran into the shower... Let's do this! I had spent enough time thinking about infection, my family history of auto-immune diseases, not getting tattoos or piercings. If I trusted anyone to implant me with a sterile microchip the size of a grain of rice, it would be these speakers, this brand, this event and this studio. It felt like the metaphorical moons had aligned. This year I am 30 years old and had an experience with a severe spinal injury that really made me think about how safe I have been playing life so far, I could be run over by a bus tomorrow or become paralyzed, so let’s do something a bit dangerous for the progress of science and my cyborg street cred.

16:30, I step into Rude Studios in Leeds, I scan around the room, 5 people, MADE IT! One, I know, the others I do not, but they will become part of my Cyborg Family and share in an experience I never thought I would have.

After a quick chat with Hannes, fresh off his flight from Sweden, we sign a consent form, get a quick briefing and are directed into the piercing room, where we meet Luke, the first man to stab me, just a little bit, FOR SCIENCE!

(Photo Credit Ben Bentley)

Luke, wearing nitrile gloves, sterilises his work surface, lays fresh paper down and asks which hand I would like my implant in, as I am right handed I opt for my left hand Luke mentally finds the trapezium and trapezoid bones where the metacarpal bones of my thumb and index finger meet. Next he finds the first proximal interphalangeal joint (first knuckle) of the index finger, then halves the distance between the bottom of that joint and the top of my carpometacarpal joint. Then taking a biosafe pen, marks the insertion point.

This point is chosen because: 1) low risk of damaging major radial and median nerves 2) low risk of damaging major blood vessels 3) low risk of damaging tendons or their synovial sheaths 4) plenty of soft tissue to help absorb blunt force impacts 5) good distance from bones to avoid pinching and crushing

Once this is has been marked, he opens the sterile package containing the sterile NFC implant within a sealed injector, gauze and importantly sterile gloves.

Lukes professionalism and hygiene best practices show as I notice him move from the standard piercing and tattoo gloves to the sterile gloves included in the implantation kit.

The nitrile gloves protect him from any biohazard coming from the person that is being implanted or tattooed, whereas the sterile gloves protect me from infection as he breaks my skin with the needle.

Big breath in. Slow breath out. My cowardice is unfounded, the implantation is no worse than any time I have had blood drawn at the doctors, just a little bit more of a sting.

I am now a cyborg. A piece of technology is now part of my body, working to compliment my other features.

This is an upgrade of choice, I am Human 1.2, unlike people I like to class as Human 1.1, upgraded by doctors to help fix defects such as pacemakers, insulin pumps.

I am lucky to have been able to choose my upgrade and it that my upgrade be purely for scientific interest and life improvement rather than forced life extension.

I get a sticky plaster and the proverbial lollipop for good behaviour. Luke looks to my partner Holly and says “Next!”, motioning for her to sit down. Wires had been crossed, she had not intended to be next, never mind be anything but a supportive partner (and very good looking camera stand). She grabs hold of the moment, she asks if there is enough for everyone... and within 2 minutes ... WE are cyborgs.

We step into the waiting room where Hannes is waiting to give us a lesson on programming our NFC chips. I type HELLO WORLD. /Write We step out onto the streets of Leeds new, upgraded and excited with the possibilities ahead. I will be documenting our ongoing adventures in cyborg in a series of Blogs and Vlogs. Make sure you subscribe to my channels to hear more, also more technical nitty gritty experimentation to follow! Please check out our first vlog below:

youtube

#Life as a Cyborg #lifeasacyborg #cyborg #cyberpunk #biohacking #implant #implantation #robot #futureism #dangerous things #ghost in the shell

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simplicitydefined · 5 years ago

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Dear Retrograde FUCK YOU

So retrograde in Scorpio started back on Halloween and it has been a hellish 16 days. I wasn’t thinking about retrograde but I know that night I was exhausted from the week before. We went everywhere and I planned that next year we wouldn’t do much else during that week. All of my projects were rushed and this was the first week I missed classes and assignments. I remember talking to UniQue about how crazy busy my week was and thinking that I would NEVER have big projects due during Halloween week ever again. We went to the corn maze, we went trunk or treating, we had Day of the Dead celebration set up to do. It was a lot of stuff.

That week I also had to turn in the Annual Report. Now, I had most of October, but the first 2 weeks I couldn’t get inspired. I had no idea what I wanted to create that would be this art piece for the 45th annual, annual report. It wasn’t until the 29th that I was like... I got it. I want to create a sketchbook. In my head, the report was going to be like 8 pages. So even though it was due on the 31st, I was sure I’d complete it in time when I started on the 30th. It. Was. 70. Pages. When. I. Completed. It.

I did not sleep. I created. I did not eat. I created. I designed my fingers off and I did, of course, accept the responsibility because I was the one who waited until the last 3 days to start. BUT OMG it was horrible. I thought to myself that this was it, this was the retrograde I had been warned about. I waited and this retrograde was going to make sure I paid for my transgressions. So when I put the file safely in the dropbox in the format she wanted after fighting my laptop tooth and nail. I was certain that the worst of it was over. No such luck was had. I ended up collapsing and going to bed at something like 5, 6 am to wake up at 7:58 to a message from UniQue asking about the file. To then having her find the file, and it opens up garbled. Not quite pixellated, not quite clear it looked like I was just a really bad designer. I was crushed.

I spent all afternoon learning new ways to share files, uploading them was taking upwards of 20 minutes each time. And every other if not most times the upload would go for 19 minutes and fail at the 20th minute. My laptop was angry, I was angry, UniQue was angry, I broke down.

I broke down on the phone like a child because I had poured every bit of my soul into that stupid report. And here I was on the phone with UniQue being told about everything I forgot or didn’t understand. I had failed and she seemed like she wasn’t even fond of what it looked like. Even when the pixelation was gone, she never said, that’s beautiful, I love it. It was just this is wrong, this missing, where is this, why is this like this... I was staring at a dumpster fire. I spent the day fixing the file, sent it over and didn’t even hear back until the following Monday. I spent 4 days on the edge of my seat.

The best part was right before this I asked if I could have the full-time design position. Irony is a shitty thing. I kept working on the other projects and then I get the callback and I come in, and she loved it. Greg loved it. I was borderline suicidal over that weekend and they loved it the whole damn time. Fast forward to True to Yourself, that was the next big project, while we were going over the report and my possible position she asks me if I could send her what I had sketched out on the 12th for a meeting, even though the deadline (which she had reiterated before) is the 15th. I obliged, showed her my inspiration for the poster, she liked it. I created it. I sent it to her on the 12th for the meeting (right at the buzzer) and she hated it.

That’s fine, I actually didn’t care about that project like I did the annual report (and I never will ever care about a project like I did the AR ever again. That was a complete mistake). However, instead of telling me, “Meh, that’s not it, let’s go for the 15th, and you can send it to me then” she said nothing, and then told the people in the meeting she was disappointed in me and that I had all month to do this so she didn’t understand why this is what I gave her. Someone asked how old I was. Look. No one has to like my art or my ideas. But she never ever came to me and said, I didn’t like it April. She never said to the group that we had been working hard on the AR, and this was really due on the 15th. She hit me with the whole bus and walked away. I broke down again. If you’re the scorekeeping type this is 2 break downs, same client.

At the same time, I was working with another client, who has a barber show in December. All of his files are now none accessible on my drive due to a reformatting that occurred when I set it up on my network. I had to build all of his files from scratch. I had to recreate his logo, this is how bad it was. I finally finish all of that, and then get his flyer to him, and he loves it. This is why you’re the best at what you do, he exclaimed. Well, he then turns around and starts sending a change a day for a week. I had already sent the flyers to print because we were on a time crunch. Something in me didn’t let me send over the reorder invoice. I was actually waiting for him to give me the rest of the information. He sends the last edits on a Friday and on Monday he’s wondering why he doesn’t have the new ones yet.

How would he get them? There have been no business days in between. I tell him they will be in by Friday due to the changes. He says okay. Then knowing they won’t be in by Friday (because I forgot and didn’t order them that Monday because of the AR, plus it was Veterans day) I messaged him that I would go get them printed locally. ON MY DIME.

I actually special ordered these Avery perforated event tickets. So I could make sure they were numbered and secure. Then I went to Staples with pneumonia, mind you, I haven’t gotten to my sickness yet. And they said that it wouldn’t work, and sent me to FedEx. So I went to FedEx and printed the stuff for about $70. Plus the 2 Avery things, it was $80 in cost. He paid me $50 to design this stuff. Right now we’re -$30. So I go to his shop, he’s headed out of town. I meet his wife who tells me that they bought tickets already with someone else.

Did I not message him, and let him know what I was doing? In my [addiction] to be nice and go above and beyond I offered them a refund on the tickets. So now I’m -$105. I’m still miffed about that, but last night I thought they would have me killed or sued or something so $105 loss is a lot better than my life. I’m also very sick so there’s that.

On last Sunday we go to take Marcos’ mom out to eat for her birthday. She requests Golden Corral. I don’t know why she did. I hate Golden Corral. It is dirty, noisy, grimy, and the food is terrible. We used to go with his dad back when we first got married and I actually enjoyed it until I really looked at my surroundings. The walls were covered in food. It was disgusting. Also over the years, we are less into buffets. They feel like troughs for pigs, and all of the food is so fatty and cheesy and mismatched. I mean when else do you eat egg fo young and pizza on the same plate? It’s disgusting. But she requested it, so we’ll grin and bear it.

When we get in line there is a small child behind us coughing like a grown woman. I am clutching my babies to my chest because we just got over an almost month-long congestion party where I didn’t sleep, I just stay up night after night holding trash bags up under them because they were coughing so hard they were throwing up. Just because of congestion. It was intensely crowded. I decided to just push through, this was for his mom. And then we go to check out, and this thing cost us almost $70. Why would anyone pay $70 for 5 people to eat? We don’t even eat that much food to go to a buffet. I eat like one plate and maybe a dessert. Nehemiah eats a saucer worth of food, and Orion eats like 4 tablespoons depending on his mood. We also like geniuses ate about an hour earlier. We are super smart.

The whole thing sucks but what’s worse is the next day I have caught the plague. The black death, scarlet fever, whatever medieval disease there was I had it. I had it deep inside of me. On Monday it was a cough, on Tuesday it was a burning throat, same on Wednesday, on Thursday my sinuses were so swollen and I knew it was bad. I wasn’t eating, sleeping, anything. I was just trudging through it. I kept Nehemiah out of school because I thought he was getting it on Wednesday, and I was late for his fashion show on Friday because of it. I’m still sick and I feel horrible. I thought I was going to die. To add insult to injury, Friday night take a nebulizer to go to sleep and wake up at 3 am and have my period. I have a very heavy period that makes it so that I cannot do anything. I have to change my menstrual cup every 2 hours. This is a cup that a normal woman can wear up to 12 hours. Most women only lose a tablespoon of blood per day, I lose 1-2 tbs every 2 hours. Yes, I am anemic. Pneumonia had also given me a UTI. My kidneys and bladder are sore. I’m wearing depends because I cannot make it to the bathroom. I just immediately start peeing when I get the sensation. Now I’m also bleeding like a stuck pig. I’m certain my death is soon to follow.

It’s some northern winter all of a sudden as well, and rains for 4 days. Just rain, wind, cold. And I’m just so tired and sick and beaten down. I cried all night last night about the barber show thing, (before I knew he was an ass and I was feeling guilty) and about my old church. So that’s breakdown number 3. I almost had #4 in the car after I left the barbershop but... I was too angry to be sad. In short, I don’t know if I can make it 4 more days. OH in an effort to fix an issue I had been putting off, I reordered the nametags and they looked great!!!!! And then, of course one name tag was messed up. And of course, it was UniQue’s because, OF COURSE, IT IS. So I have to send them a photo of this being the 3RD TIME THEY HAVE SENT ME NAME BADGES THAT HAVE NOT BEEN QUALITY CHECKED. I want to shake someone!!!!!!!

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