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cressidagrey · 1 month ago

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The Queen of Romantasy and the Race Car Prince - Chapter 13

Pairing: Lando Norris x Elizabeth "Lizzie" Treshton (Original Character)

Summary:

Elizabeth Treshton—bestselling romantasy author, queen of fae heartbreak, and sworn devotee of a carefully structured routine—never expected her service dog to abandon protocol and diagnose a Formula 1 driver with something. But that’s exactly what happens when Mara the wonder-dog ditches Lizzie’s side to aggressively alert to none other than Lando Norris in the middle of a coffee shop.

Warnings and Notes:

Mention of epilepsy and service animals. I don't myself suffer from epilepsy, so I asked my IRL friend, who thankfully was nice enough to let me ask her all the questions I could come up with. The rest I asked Reddit. So everything that's wrong...that's totally my fault and not on purpose. Also Discussion of toxic media/fandom/death threats.

As always big thanks to @llirawolf , who listens to me ramble

Lando knew this was going to be a mess, but at this point, he had no choice. He’d been bullied into this.

He slouched in his chair, arms crossed, waiting for the right moment to speak up. Zak Brown was reviewing sponsorship commitments, Andrea Stella was making notes on the schedule, and Sophie, McLaren’s head of PR, was rattling off media obligations. Across the table, Oscar was watching him, barely holding back a smirk.

Lando cleared his throat. “By the way, I’m bringing my girlfriend to Silverstone.”

The room went silent. Heads turned, eyebrows raised, and even Zak looked up from his paperwork. And then there was Oscar, unable to bite back his smirk any longer.

Sophie was the first to regain composure. “Girlfriend?” she repeated, clearly caught off guard.

"Yeah," Lando affirmed, trying to sound casual, but the tension in the room was palpable. "I've been seeing someone for a while. And she's coming to Silverstone."

There was a pause, an awkward beat of silence.

Zak narrowed his eyes. “And when exactly were you planning on telling us this?”

Lando shrugged. “Now?”

Sophie sighed, already dreading the impending PR nightmare. "Alright," she said, pushing up her glasses and steeling herself. "Who is this mystery girlfriend?"

“Elizabeth Treshton,” Lando said casually.

The room exploded.

Sophie looked like she was malfunctioning. “Wait—Elizabeth Treshton? As in—”

Zak leaned forward, looking genuinely shocked. “The Elizabeth Treshton?”

Andrea, who usually stayed calm, looked almost rattled. “The author?”

“Yes, the author,” Lando confirmed, rolling his eyes. “Why is everyone acting like I just said I’m dating the Queen of England?”

Sophie groaned, already rubbing her temples. “Lando, do you have any idea what you’ve just done?”

Zak was still shaking his head, somewhere between impressed and exasperated. “You’ve been secretly dating a bestselling fantasy author and didn’t think to mention it?”

Sophie looked like she had a migraine. "Lando, you’ve just added a whole new layer to your public image. And you have no idea what kind of circus the media will make out of this.”

Andrea sighed. “Lando. You realize that this means—”

“Yeah, yeah,” Lando cut in, waving a hand. “Social media chaos, headlines, fans losing their minds. Trust me, I know.”

Not like he hadn’t thought about it…constantly.

Sophie, now frantically typing away on her laptop, let out a sharp exhale. “You do understand her fanbase is massive, right? You’re dating one of the most popular fantasy authors in the world. This isn’t just a random reveal. This is—this is—”

“Huge,” Oscar supplied helpfully, still looking thoroguhly amused.

Lando nodded, feigning nonchalance. "I’ve seen the numbers. I know she’s a big deal. But you’re acting like it’s a bad thing."

Zak raised an eyebrow. "It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it makes things… complicated."

Andrea nodded in agreement. "Treshton’s fan base is extremely passionate. They’ll be watching your every move. And given her genre of books, well… let’s just say they have… very active imaginations.”

Lando couldn’t help an amused smirk. "You mean they’ll write fanfiction about us?"

Sophie looked more pained at the mention of fanfiction. "They’ll do so much more than that, Lando. Interviews, gossip sites, fan theories—the media will have a field day with this. Her privacy is going to be nonexistent, and so is yours."

Lando shrugged, trying to look unperturbed. "I can deal with the press. I’ve been doing it for years. And honestly, her fans can’t be any worse than some of the crazies online."

Andrea sighed again, muttering something in Italian under his breath before looking at Sophie. “How do we handle this?”

Sophie, now looking more exhausted than ever, replied, "We handle this very carefully. We’ll need a statement, some approved talking points, and a ton of media training. This has the potential to be a PR nightmare if we don’t get out ahead of it."

Lando let out a long sigh, regretting his decision to mention anything. "Great, just great."

"And we'll need to meet her," Sophie continued. "And probably her team."

Zak leaned back in his chair, a small smirk on his face. "I can’t wait to meet the woman who’s managed to tame our Lando."

Lando rolled his eyes. "I’m not tamed," he muttered, ignoring the smirks from his teammates.

"Sure, you’re not," Oscar said, clearly amused. "You are just reading romantasy books and getting her dog Ferrari bandanas."

"I wanted to talk to you about that," Zak said drily. "Lando...why?"

Lando groaned, slumping back in his chair. "Don’t start with that."

Zak smirked, all too pleased with the subject. "I’m just curious. Lando Norris, McLaren race car driver, getting a dog a Ferrari bandana. Also, I am going to put my foot down and say that we are not having the dog in the garage in a ferrari bandana."

Lando huffed, but there was a reluctant smirk on his face. "Yeah, yeah, I get it, it’s a PR nightmare. But the dog is innocent. Lizzie has been a Ferrari fan since childhood. The dog is literally named Maranello."

Zak’s eyes widened, and he looked to the rest of the room. "You’re kidding."

Sophie just shook her head in disbelief, while Andrea let out a low whistle. "Damn, she’s really committed to being a Ferrari fan, isn’t she?"

Lando just ran a hand through his hair, exasperated. "Yes, I know. I’ve made my peace with it."

***

Lizzie had been in her fair share of nerve-wracking meetings—editorial reviews, publisher strategy calls, even a few intense negotiations about movie rights—but nothing quite prepared her for sitting in McLaren’s conference room, facing Zak Brown, Andrea Stella, and the entire PR team.

She sat up straight, hands folded in her lap as she tried not to let her nerves show. It wasn’t every day that she was the center of attention for an entire Formula One team.

Zak Brown looked directly at her. “Ms. Treshton—”

“Lizzie, please.” She interrupted, cringing internally at just how nervous she sounded.

Zak folded his hands on the table and leaned forward. “So, Lizzie. First of all—welcome. I have to say, this is a bit of a surprise.”

Yeah, it was. Not just for them. If someboy woul have told LIzzie a year ago that she was going to sit in a team meeting in the MTC and discuss her romantic relationship with Lando Norris, she would have started laughing hysterically.

“It’s nice to meet all of you,” she settled on saying.

Lando squeezed her hand under the table.

Sophie, McLaren’s head of PR, sighed, already scribbling notes. “Okay, let’s get to the important stuff. You’re a bestselling author with a massive online following. Lando is one of the most popular drivers on the grid. When this relationship goes public, it’s not going to be small.”

Lizzie nodded, trying to keep her face neutral. She knew all too well the scrutiny that came with being a public figure. But hearing McLaren spell it out, in the context of Lando’s world, was still a bit jarring. “I’m aware of the attention it will bring,” she agreed.

Zak nodded. “We need to prepare a few talking points, a plan for the media, and figure out how to approach this. Given your...passionate fanbase, we’re expecting some fallout.”

She took a deep breath, trying to sound assured. “I understand. I’ve been in the public eye for a while, so I have some idea of what to expect. But I’ll do my best to handle it.”

Zak nodded, glancing at Lizzie. “Which brings me to my next question. Are you prepared for that?”

Lizzie met his gaze evenly. “I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.”

There was a moment of silence as the team digested her answer. She could almost see their surprise.

Sophie, ever the media manager, pressed on. “Publicity can be ruthless. The media will dig into your past, speculate on your relationship, and try to find any angle they can to sensationalize the story. You’ll have cameras and microphones in your face, people demanding interviews, autograph requests. Are you ready for that?”

Lizzie considered the question for a moment. Ready? Probably not. But was she willing to face it?

“I’ve dealt with the press before. I know how to handle myself in front of cameras and microphones.” It was at least partially true.

Andrea, who had been silently watching her this whole time, finally spoke. “You have a service dog. Lando mentioned that you have epilepsy.” His tone wasn’t unkind—just careful. “Do you have any concerns about attending a race weekend?”

Lando stiffened slightly beside her, but Lizzie appreciated the directness.

“I’ve thought about it,” she admitted. “It’s a high-stimulation environment—loud, crowded, unpredictable. But I’ve managed fine at other big events before, and I wouldn’t put myself in a situation I couldn’t handle.”

She glanced down, where Mara lay calmly at her feet. “Mara will be with me at all times. She’s trained to alert me before a seizure, and I trust her completely.”

There was a long silence as the McLaren team absorbed this new information. Lizzie could see the wheels turning in their heads, weighing the pros and cons and determining how this added new variable would affect their strategy.

Sophie finally broke the silence, her pen still scratching notes across a pad of paper. “This definitely adds another element to consider.”

Zak looked thoughtful. “We’ll need to ensure that Mara has access wherever you go on race weekends. And our medics will need to be briefed on your condition in case of an emergency.”

Lizzie nodded, feeling a wave of relief that they were taking this seriously. “I can provide them with all the necessary medical information beforehand.”

Sophie, however, still looked concerned. “The press is going to latch onto your condition. We need to be prepared for that.”

"It's not a secret," Lizzie said drily.

"Lizzie has been openly talking about her epilepsy online for years," Lando said quickly.

The words hung in the air for a beat. It was true. Lizzie had been open about her epilepsy on social media—but that was to her fans, to people who loved her books and cared about her as an author. This was an entirely different beast.

Sophie frowned slightly, clearly worried. "Yes, but this will bring a whole new level of scrutiny. The media will ask invasive questions, demand to know every detail—"

"I know," Lizzie said calmly. "I'm aware of how relentless the press can be. I'm not naive."

Andrea nodded, his frown slightly softened. "We'll do everything we can to protect your privacy, but—"

"There's only so much you can control," Lizzie finished for him. "I get it. I know what to expect."

Lando on the other hand already looked murderous.

He hadn't said a word, just sitting there in brooding silence. But one look at his expression, at the muscle in his jaw clenching, told Lizzie he did not like this angle of questioning at all.

Zak noticed too. "Lando, you've been unusually quiet."

Lando was bristling now. "What? You think I'm happy that the press is going to exploit her medical condition for headlines?"

Zak raised a placating hand. "No one said that. But it's something we have to consider. We need to be prepared for the questions they'll ask."

Lando's glare could've melted steel. But Lizzie, knowing him too well, gave his hand a subtle squeeze under the table. A nonverbal plea for calm.

It worked. Lando took a deep breath, managing to tone down his scowl to a slightly less homicidal expression.

Zak, noticing Lizzie's silent intervention, gave her a look that clearly said, "Nice one."

"Okay," Zak said, clearing his throat and redirecting the conversation. "There's one more thing we need to discuss."

Lizzie braced herself, wondering what could possibly be left.

"Ferrari. Really?!"

It was the last thing Lizzie expected to hear.

She bit back a laugh, trying not to show her amusement, while Lando groaned and buried his face in his hands.

"Here we go," he muttered.

Zak was shaking his head, clearly torn between exasperation and amusement. "I can't believe one of my star drivers is dating a die-hard Ferrari fan."

Lizzie couldn't help herself anymore. A soft laugh escaped her lips.

Sophie, seeing her reaction, rolled her eyes, but a hint of a smile played at the corners of her mouth.

Andrea, the most composed of the group, raised an eyebrow at Lando. "Did you not think we were going to bring this up?"

"I promise not to wear Ferrari Merch in the McLaren Garage?" Lizzie suggested, trying to stay serious.

Lando snorted, looking both horrified and amused at the thought.

Zak, clearly torn between amusement and protectiveness over his team, ran a hand through his hair. "I'd prefer if you didn't, yeah."

"But no promises about Mara's Bandana. I am not putting a McLaren Bandana on Mara. That would be treason," Lizzie said seriously.

There was a round of disbelieving chuckles from the McLaren team. It seemed like the ice was finally broken.

Sophie bit back a laugh, looking slightly more relaxed. "I can't believe we're discussing your dog's loyalties in a serious strategy meeting."

"This is a very serious topic," Lizzie said dryly, trying to keep a straight face. "Mara is very attached to her Ferrari bandana. I don't think she'd take kindly to switching allegiances."

Lando looked at her aghast. "How have I managed to fall in love with a woman who has a Ferrari dog?"

Zak chuckled. "You just know the press is going to have a field day with this."

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fuckyeahgoodomens · 2 years ago

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Link 1, Link 2 :)

Digital Good Omens 2 Sountrack is coming out in 4 days! 🥳 CD version in October! :) ❤ Coming soon on vinyl…

Out to Stream/Download from 25th August. Out on CD 13th October. Coming soon on vinyl…

David Arnold’s ‘end of the world’ complex and multi-genre soundtrack.

From the Award-winning composer of Sherlock and Casino Royale comes a follow up to the hugely successful, Emmy nominated Good Omens soundtrack.

Good Omens series 2 premiered on Prime Video on 28th July. The series follows the odd couple, angel Aziraphale (Michael Sheen) and demon Crowley (David Tennant) in their quest to sabotage the end of the World. The six-episode sequel to the popular adaptation of the novel by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, concerns the Archangel Gabriel (Jon Hamm) arriving without his memories to Aziraphale’s bookshop. Aziraphale and Crowley attempt to find out what happened to Gabriel, whilst hiding him from Heaven and Hell, both eager to find him.

The Soundtrack

David Arnold’s soundtrack to Good Omens was first released in 2019 to favourable reviews, with BBC Music Magazine calling it “a rollicking trip to hell and back”. Blueprint Magazine described it as “a great listen” and Sci Fi Bulletin commented on “plenty of memorable themes” to conclude that “This is another work of art from Arnold”. At times nostalgic and eerie but always varied, beautiful and full of excitement, the Good Omens 2 soundtrack showcases Arnold’s every skill from his composer arsenal. Featured here are orchestral arrangements with sprinkling of Sugar Plum Fairy pizzicato and percussion, jaunty strings and mighty choral sweeps from Crouch End Festival Chorus. Added to the mix are rock guitar riffs, and psychedelic 70s sounds and all together they create a haunting otherworldly feel, complementing the fantasy and the quirky humour of the show. The spirited Waltz of the opening theme is also present in the second series and it wonderfully sets the scene for fantastical mayhem. In series 2, this robust, evocative, and funny music entity, becomes yet again another character in the story. Award-winning composer David Arnold is well known for his blockbuster scores, including Stargate, The Chronicles of Narnia: the Voyage of the Dawn Treader, Hot Fuzz, Paul, Independence Day, 2 Fast 2 Furious and Casino Royale as well as for his TV work such as Sherlock and Dracula. Also available: The original soundtrack to the first series of Good Omens >

Tracklist

– Disc 1 – Chapter 1: The Arrival 1. Before the Beginning 2. Good Omens 2 Opening Title 3. Into Soho 4. Something Terrible 5. To The Bookshop 6. Maggie and Nina 7. He’s Smoking 8. Tiny Miracle 9. Heavenly Alarm Bells Chapter 2: The Clue 10. Avaunt! 11. The Song is the Clue 12. It’s What God Wants 13. A Mighty Wind 14. Whales 15. Gabriel Returns 16. His New Children 17. Am I Awful Now? 18. Fallen Angel Chapter 3: I Know Where I’m Going 19. Police Arrive 20. Scotland 21. We’re Going to Hell 22. People Get a Choice 23. My Car is Not Yellow 24. Beelzebub in Hell 25. The Book 26. The Fly 27. Mr. Dalrymple 28. We Need to Cut 29. I’m Going to Save Her 30. Crowley Goes Large 31. Not Kind 32. Beelzebub Isn’t Happy – Disc 2 – Chapter 4: The Hitchhiker 33. Hell-O 34. Nazi Zombies 35. March of the Nazi Zombies 36. Crowley Pep Talk 37. The Magic Shop 38. Catch The Bullet 39. Zombies in the Dressing Room Chapter 5: The Ball 40. I’ll Let You Have It 41. We’re Storming a Book Shop 42. Monsieur Azirophale 43. The Candelabra 44. Here Comes Hell 45. Gabriel Gives Himself Up 46. Shax 47. The Circle Chapter 6: Every Day 48. Bin Through the Window 49. Gabriel Leaving Heaven 50. The Halo 51. Gabriel Revealed 52. Gabriel’s Love Story 53. Leaving The Bookshop 54. Gabriel and Beelzebub 55. Crowley and Muriel 56. I Forgive You 57. Don’t Bother 58. The Biggest Decision 59. The End?

#good omens #gos2 #season 2 #GOS2Spoilers #good omens spoilers #music #s2 music #david g arnold #s2 soundtrack #wahoo!#shut up and take my money :D

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dangraccoon · 1 month ago

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Untitled Spreadsheet - PRIVATE

Chapter 13 - Review

Word Count: 1326

Content: the end of the war, clone rights are sentient rights, clones making their own government, a clone cadet accidentally parent-trapping Cody and Obi-Wan, Rex and Padmé getting so excited, both of them finally making a move

For @literallyjustanerd, based on this post

Mando'a Guide Ara'gotenir Tolase - Clone System; essentially the government for the clones Tsad'alor - group leader; something like a senator verd'ika - private (like the rank, although is often used affectionally for a child as "little soldier) orikih - tiny aar'ika - little pain, sting Gar cuy ori'jaon'yc bah ni, ratiin - You are important to me, always jetii'dral - the Force (lit. Jedi power) Ni kar'taylir gar suvarir mando'a, ner jetii - I know you understand mando'a, my jedi

The celebrations lasted several weeks. The ceasefire, peace agreement, and reintroduction to the Republic on the last CIS planet meant an official end to the war, almost exactly five years since it had begun.

And with the end of the war, the Senate passed the Clone Rights Bill unanimously, and included provisions for housing, work, and back pay, which no one outside the Senate knew about. Cody would never forget the sight of millions of brothers crying out in joy because they were finally free. No, he wouldn’t forget that for the rest of his life.

Cody was free, though he tried not to think about it very much.

The GAR wouldn’t be dissolved completely, but used for aid missions, security forces, and other projects as needed. The clones would be paid for their labor as well as a sum of credits for their service in the war.

Cody chose to remain in what they’d named the Ara’gotenir Tolase–though they usually just called it the AT–as a representative for those previously under his command. Really, they’d become something of a miniature Republic.

Cody tapped away at his datapad, sipping his caf.

“Tsad’alor Cody?” a small voice called from the doorway of his office.

He looked up to see a cadet, maybe only four or five. “Hello there. What can I do for you, verd’ika?”

The kid fidgeted, looking down at his boots.

Cody smiled and rose from his seat. “Why don’t you come in and sit down?” He gestured to the small seating area next to his desk. It was used more often for him crashing on the couch after working all night than it was for company, but he was happy for the change.

“Yessir,” the cadet said as he did, sitting somewhat awkwardly on one of the chairs, and Cody tried not to cringe at the way his “orders” were immediately followed.

“Try to relax,” he instructed as he sat on the couch. Not directly next to the boy, not far away. “I’m not a Commander anymore. You don’t have to use my rank or my title. You can just call me Cody, if you want.”

The kid nodded, but seemed to find the fabric of the chair far more interesting than Cody.

“What’s your name, brother?”

“I-I don’t have one,” he mumbled after a moment. “My… my batchmates call me orikih.”

Cody nodded. “But do you like to be called that?”

The boy shook his head immediately. “No, sir! I hate it when they tease me just ‘cause I came outta the tubes all shrunk!”

Cody’s brows lifted. He hadn’t expected the outburst.

“I’m sorry, si– um, Ori’vod,” the boy muttered.

“No need to apologize, verd’ika,” he smiled softly, scooching to the edge of his seat. “Can I let you in on a secret?”

It was the kid’s turn to look surprised. He nodded eagerly.

Cody leaned in closer, making a show of looking over his shoulders around his empty office. “I was the little one in my batch and–”

“Really?”

“Yes, I was very orikih, too,” he grinned. “But that’s not what my batchers called me.”

The cadet watched him with wide eyes. Cody felt his heart warm even more than it had when the boy had come in.

“They liked to tease me by calling me aar’ika,” he chuckled.

To Cody’s surprise and his utter joy, his little brother laughed. It was a wonderful, musical sound that he hadn’t heard in some time.

“They call you ‘little pain’?”

“They did! Alpha-17 even did for a while.”

The kid’s smile faded as he returned to his quieter nature. His brow furrowed a little, the same way all their vode did. “How did you make them stop?”

He smiled gently. “I won’t lie to you, verd’ika,” he said, very seriously. “They didn’t stop for a long time. Our batch’s twins–Fox and Wolffe–they’re more stubborn than an entire herd of banthas put together, but I did have someone on my side.”

Curiosity lit the boy’s face again. “Who?”

“It was Prime, himself,” a new voice called from the doorway. “And he gave him a new name: Kote.”

Cody nearly broke his neck, turning to see General Kenobi, leaning against the door frame. It had been nearly a year since he’d seen his old General in person, not that Cody had counted. Cody felt like he’d been sent back in time. Kenobi looked all the same and all different. His eyes still sparkled that electrifying blue, his beard still sat neatly around his face, and his lips still pulled in a small smile. He’d grown his hair out though; the auburn locks were tinted with gray at his temples and fell to his shoulders, the top half tied back.

And Cody was just as taken with him as he’d ever been.

The cadet seemed unsurprised, however, merely looking over and smiling. “Prime?”

Cody pulled himself out of his stun to grin at the boy again. “The very same.”

“Did you ask Tsad’alor Cody your questions, dear?” Kenobi asked. “He’s very busy taking care of you and all your brothers, so we mustn’t take up too much of his time.”

“Master Obi-Wan, he told me to just call him Cody,” the boy chastised.

Cody and Kenobi hid their matching grins.

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry. Just Cody, then.”

The boy sighed. “I asked Master Obi-Wan if the slowing treatment hurts and he said he didn’t know because he didn’t have it but I really want to know because I… a-and I know we have to be brave because we’re soldiers, but I’m scared, Ori’vod”

Cody’s heart just about broke in two. “I know big things like this are very frightening. I was nervous before I had the treatment and I–” he cut himself off; he didn’t want to frighten the kid with tales of the procedures the first few generations had undergone at the hands of the Kaminoans. “I’ve been through a lot of scary treatments. But our vode jah’ade are the best of the best and the jetiise who look after you all are the kindest there are.”

The boy nodded, but still seemed apprehensive.

“We don’t always need to be brave, vod,” he continued. “We don’t need to be anything we don’t want to be. Mhi cuy mav jii.”

“Mhi cuy mav jii,” the cadet repeated slowly. It was something many of the clones had taken to saying, like a quiet remembrance for their past and a hopeful prayer for their future.

After another moment, his eyes lit up. Cody recognized that particular spark. “Cody?”

“Yes, vod?”

“I know my name,” he breathed. “Mav.”

Cody smiled, letting all his pride bleed into it. “It has been so wonderful to meet you, Mav.”

Mav smiled back at him, but then he pounced, wrapping Cody in a tight hug. “Vor’e, Cody!”

Mav ran over to the General, beaming up at him.

“Mav is a good name,” he told him. “It suits you, little one. Will you wait for me in the hallway?”

“Yes, Master Obi-Wan,” Mav chirped, happily leaving.

“And please don’t wander off this time!” he called after him. “I don’t want to have to send Hound after you again!”

Kenobi looked back at Cody, making his way toward him and they both broke out into light laughter.

“How have you been, General?” Cody asked. “Last I heard, you’ve busied yourself with the cadets?”

“Yes,” Kenobi chuckled. “It seems like an entire war surrounded by your brothers wasn’t quite enough.”

“I’ve been surrounded by my brothers my whole life and I cannot see the appeal,” Cody shrugged.

The General smiled. “Well, I do admit that not all of them are as charming as you.”

Cody felt that old familiar ache in his chest, like he was being towed in on a fishing line. He breathed a laugh.

Kenobi sighed, turning away. “I’ve embarrassed you; I’m sorry.”

“No, no,” Cody stammered. “You haven’t, at all. I guess…”

Kenobi stepped a little closer to him. “You guess?”

Cody held his breath for a moment to keep from sighing. Kenobi was wearing the same fragrance as he had that night at 79s. Warm, hints of some kind of spice, and all too easily flooding his senses and pulling him closer.

“I, um– I guess I’ve fallen out of the habit of receiving your compliments, sir,” he managed. “They’re not unwelcome, of course, just… unexpected.”

Kenobi smiled and chuckled. Cody could feel his heart hammering against his ribs.

“Cody, I-I feel I must tell you something,” he said, his smile fading slightly. “I couldn’t tell you during the war, and by the end we so rarely saw one another.”

“Yes?” Cody whispered. He felt like he couldn’t breathe.

Kenobi bit his lip, glancing away, but quickly closed the short distance between them. His lips pressed softly against Cody’s cheek for a moment, then near his ear.

“Gar cuy ori'jaon'yc bah ni, ratiin.”

Cody’s mouth opened with a soft gasp as Kenobi pulled away smiling. Somehow, his mind was simultaneously blank and overflowing with thoughts.

Kenobi nodded a goodbye, then left to find Mav. Cody had spent the last year ignoring the ache of missing General Kenobi, but it came in full force as he watched him walk away, chatting with one of his little brothers.

He kissed him. High Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Negotiator, a Jedi Master and member of the Jedi Council kissed him? Of course, it was only on the cheek, but it was so soft that he could only really describe it as tender.

His shaking hand touched his cheek–where General Kenobi kissed him–just at the end of his scar.

Wait. Wait, did Kenobi–

He replayed the moment in his mind, trying desperately to focus on what happened after he kissed him.

“Gar cuy ori’jaon’yc bah ni, ratiin.”

General Kenobi spoke mando’a, and fluently at that. No mispronunciations, no hesitance.

Cody moved to his desk, flopping down in the chair and tapping the comm unit to call Rex.

“Hey, aren’t you at work? What’s up?”

“Rex, does General Kenobi know mando’a?”

The line was quiet for a moment. “What?”

“Does Kenobi know mando’a?” Cody repeated.

“Am I a kriffin’ holonet search?” Rex scoffed. “Why would I know that?”

“Ask Skywalker, then,” Cody huffed.

“Cody, Anakin’s not–”

“Come on, Rex, I can hear his tubies in the background.”

Rex snorted. “The natborns call them babies, Codes. Anakin’s not here, but maybe Padmé will know.”

Cody heard the comm unit click against something and Rex’s retreating footsteps. He could hear Rex and Amidala’s voices, but couldn’t make out the words.

Then there were footsteps, and rustling.

“Are you still there?” Senator Amidala asked.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said. “How are you, Senator?”

Amidala groaned. “You know better, Cody. Try again.”

Cody chuckled. “How are you, Padmé?”

“I’m doing very well, thank you, Cody.” He could hear the snarky grin in her voice. “Now, you want to know if Obi-Wan speaks mando’a?”

“Yes,” Cody breathed. He felt like he was very close to the edge of something, but he couldn’t tell if it would be better to stay that way or to simply fall.

“Well, it wouldn’t surprise me,” she said. “That man collects languages like they were rare antiques.”

“That’s an understatement,” he heard Rex scoff in the background.

“And he did spend a year on Mandalore protecting our friend Satine,” she continued. “I’m sure she taught him some mando’a… between everything else I’m sure she taught him.”

Cody’s mind whirled as Rex laughed loudly in the background and Padmé chuckled.

“When did he…”

“Oh, it was years ago, long before the war. They hadn’t even found Anakin– actually, I’m not sure he’d even been born.”

Cody felt like the air had been sucked out of his lungs. “He… understood mando’a… the entire time?”

“He never said anything?” Rex asked. “The vode talked around him like they did with everyone and he never mentioned it?”

“Kriff,” he said simply. “Oh, kriff.”

“What is it?” Padmé asked. “I thought that would be nice.”

“Rex, do you remember that night we went to 79s and General Kenobi bought us drinks?”

The comm was quiet. “Yeah, yeah, Gregor and I left to give you two some space, but you never told me everything that happened that night. All I know is what you put on that damn spreadsheet you had.”

“I’m sorry, what spreadsheet?” Padmé asked, her voice filled with delight.

Cody heard Rex mumble something about "you and Ahsoka" and “later”.

“I gotta go,” Cody mumbled.

He heard them answer, but he couldn’t quite process anything beyond the short tone that indicated the end of the call.

Cody sat in his office, brow furrowed, waiting for his brain to actually start working.

Rex: cody

Rex: when was the last time you looked at your spreadsheet

Cody: What? I stopped adding to it after that night. You know that.

Rex: yeah okay but when did you look at it

Rex: codes you still there

Cody: Yes; I was thinking. I believe I looked at it near the end of the war, right before we shipped off to rebuild Christophsis. Why?

Rex: you might want to look at it

Rex: like now

Cody: Why?

Event: My dear, oblivious Commander left his datapad unattended on his desk with this document still open

Rational explanation: Cody is once again overtired from working so incredibly hard (as he is wont to do) and simply forgot to power down the datapad, too distracted by his sense of duty and work ethic, as admirable as they are detrimental to his sleep

Irrational explanation: The Commander shares in my affections but is simply so oblivious to my (rather obvious) signals that he feels the need to rationalise our interactions instead of accepting that we are, and indeed have been, flirting

Additional notes: In regard to the above: it meant everything and more to me, my darling x

Cody was getting out of the taxi before he even realized he’d gotten up from his desk.

He’d accompanied the General to the Jedi Temple on several occasions, but he’d only come here alone once for his Deceleration treatment. Even then, Rex was already there, waiting for him.

Their security was far more lax than Cody thought it should be, though he assumed their jetii’dral would alert them better than any other system would.

“Hello,” a soft voice called. “Can I help you find where you’re going?”

He looked up the flight of stairs before him, his heart warming to see a familiar face.

“Why, Cody,” General Ti smiled. “It’s been some time since you last visited.”

“Too long, Gen- Master Ti,” he agreed.

“You look like you’re on a mission,” she hummed. “Is there anything I can help with?”

Cody felt his face flush slightly. “Actually, I’m looking for Gen- Master Kenobi.”

She smiled and gestured for him to follow her. “I’m sure it wouldn’t surprise you that Obi-Wan keeps a fairly regular schedule these days.”

“Not at all,” Cody agreed. “During the war, he always said our schedules were like ‘organized chaos’.”

Master Ti laughed lightly. “Yes, that does sound like him. Well, there’s only a few places he would be at this time; I’m sure we’ll find him quickly.”

Cody followed her through the halls until they got to an area labeled “Crèche”.

A stern looking Togruta met Master Ti as they entered, but soon they were surrounded by cadets and younglings, all clamoring for Master Ti’s attention.

“Alright, alright, I promise I will look at all of your lovely drawings,” she laughed, quieting the kids. “But first, I need your help. Our friend Cody is looking for Master Obi-Wan.”

“He was with the little ones!” one of the kih’vod shouted.

“Kybuck Clan,” an Initiate added.

Ti looked back towards Cody. “Do you know where their room is? Master Kiish can show you–”

“That’s alright, Masters,” Cody grinned. “You both seem to have your hands full here.”

He waved goodbye to the cadets that had been watching him and continued down the hallway, passing grand doors with elaborate designs with the symbols of the different creatures the clans were named for until he came across a Kybuck.

He took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

The rooms were circular, connected to one another in a way that reminded Cody a little of Kamino, but much warmer. And drier.

Little scraps of flimsi covered practically any surface of the main room, colorful drawings of just about anything a young mind could imagine. They were scribbled and hard to make out, with scrawled lettering Cody could hardly read. His smile grew as he looked at them all the same.

He heard a soft sigh and approaching footsteps.

“That’s the last of the down for their naps,” Kenobi said, pulling his robe back on. “I’ll be back tomorrow for–”

Kenobi looked up, his eyes widening when he saw Cody and not whatever jetii he’d been expecting.

“Hello there,” Cody whispered.

Kenobi gathered himself quickly. “I must admit I’m surprised to see you again so soon.”

“A good surprise, I hope,” Cody smiled.

Kenobi nodded. “A good surprise, indeed.”

Kenobi led him back through the crèche, pausing every so often to talk to the various little ones who ran up to him.

“You’re quite popular around here,” Cody noted, then added nervously “We can talk another time–”

“No, please,” Kenobi said quickly. “I’d like to talk now.”

They were quiet as Kenobi led them up to his room. It was neat and warm, and Cody felt comfortable there almost immediately.

“Would you like some caf?” Kenobi offered after insisting that Cody sit down at the small table.

Cody chuckled. “You actually keep caf in here?”

“Anakin visits,” he hummed with a shrug. “And Ahsoka is studying for some exams. Do you still like it black?”

“Actually, I haven’t had as much since the end of the war,” Cody admitted. He could feel his cheeks warming slightly. “I’ve been drinking more tea lately.”

Kenobi lit up, his smile widening as he turned back to face Cody. “Do you have a preference on what kind? Force knows I’ve got a variety.”

“You pick,” Cody smirked. “I trust your good taste.”

Kenobi nodded and quickly turned away, but Cody could see the tips of his ears tinting pink.

As he sat there, watching his former General as he utilized the small kitchenette, he realized that he had no plan.

He was a Marshal Commander in the army. He made thousands of battle plans and decisions for two and a half years. He’d spent his entire life before that being trained for it. And yet, he’d read the addition from Kenobi and the only thing he’d come up with was to find Kenobi. He could practically hear every ori’vod and trainer he’d ever had berating him.

“So you take care of the little ones these days?” Cody piped up as Kenobi brought the kettle and mugs over.

“When I can,” he nodded. “I’m still on the Council and I do go on missions when needed, but I’ve always enjoyed working with the younglings.”

Cody smiled as he took a sip of his tea, recognizing the taste of spiced fruit. “This is from Alderaan, right?”

Kenobi smiled. “It is,” he confirmed.

“A gift from Chancellor Organa?”

“Yes,” Kenobi said, seeming somewhat bewildered. “How did you–”

“This is what you brought me before Ryloth,” Cody said.

Kenobi’s face turned red. “I… I can’t believe you remember that.”

“Of course I do,” he smirked, leaning towards his former General. “It’s like I told you, ‘you’re too important and too beautiful for me to forget anything about you,’ remember?”

Kenobi was speechless and Cody found that he loved being able to have this effect on him. He reached across the table, easing Kenobi’s mug from his hand and replacing it with his hand.

“Ni kar'taylir gar suvarir mando'a, ner jetii,” he breathed, locking his gaze onto those beautiful eyes. He watched as his cheeks turned so red he might’ve thought they’d catch fire. “And I know about your addition to my… stupid spreadsheet.”

“You do?” Kenobi whispered.

“I do, sir,” Cody admitted. “I’ve been such a fool. I thought I was imagining things or that it was just wishful thinking.”

“You didn’t imagine any of it,” Kenobi said. “In fact, there was a lot you didn’t include on your list.”

Cody chuckled. “Of course there was.” He squeezed Kenobi’s hand lightly, his thumb rubbing across his scarred knuckles. “Can you ever forgive me for how oblivious I’ve been?”

Kenobi smiled widely, setting Cody’s heart on fire. “There’s nothing to forgive, Cody.”

“I need you to know that I still feel the same as I always have,” Cody said. “Even when I pushed you away, trying to act professionally. I was and am completely in love with you. And I always will be, Obi-Wan.”

He’d never dared to say the General’s first name aloud, but the feeling of it in his mouth was addictive. He watched Obi-Wan tremble slightly.

“Oh, Cody,” Obi-Wan sighed. He stood, pulling Cody from his chair and closer to him. Instinctively, Cody wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan’s waist, pulling him tightly against his chest.

“I’ve been waiting so long to hear you say that,” Obi-Wan said, his hand gently cupping the side of Cody’s face. His thumb traced over the end of his scar. “I’m in love with you, Cody. You’ve had my heart from the moment I met you.”

Together, at last, they closed the space between them, their lips meeting softly, yet full of passion and heat.

When they pulled away they were breathless, simply smiling at one another.

“What now?” Cody whispered. “I love you and you love me, so what’s next?”

Obi-Wan smiled, pressing another soft kiss to his lover’s lips. “Whatever we want, my dear.”

↫ Previous Chapter

Thank you all so much for your love and support! I'm so happy that so many people enjoyed this self-indulgent project. Please make sure you go give love on the original!!! 💛💛💛

Thanks for reading! - River

Untitled Spreadsheet - PRIVATE Master List DangRaccoon Master List Tag List Form Read on AO3

Tags: @nekotaetae @get-wr3ckered @jediknightjana @lucyysthings @unstable-kiwi @6oceansofmoons @l3xi3luv @savebytheodoresnonjosestuff @winter-phoenix1995 @lokigirlszendaya @nomercyforthewarrior @Padawancat97 @idoubleswearimawriter @wishyouthetest @orangez3st @Amiacatholicoracat-holic @flowered-bicycles @error6gendernotfound @techs-goggles9902

#DangRaccoon #Dang writing #commander cody #obi-wan kenobi #codywan #the clone wars #the clone wars fanfiction #clone wars fanfiction #tcw #tcw fanfiction #Untitled Spreadsheet - PRIVATE

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monster-disaster · 2 months ago

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Monster March

First, I hate, hate, hate writing summaries. I feel like they are anything but interesting. 😅 But here is my schedule for March. I thought it would be fun to welcome spring with a (almost) full month. We will have a bunch of new characters and some old ones, and I hope you will enjoy them (well, most of them) all. 😄

My Patreon is here (with more than 80 exclusive stories) The stories I will share on Mondays and Tuesdays will be available on my Tumblr too.

1. - 2. -

3. Request: [monsters] Marks

4. [naga] Rova - You go to Grimbrook's famous bar, and Rova is there to help you relax. Well, you help him relax. /mxm, public bj

5. [orc] Örök 1/4 - Örök meets you during his vacation. /age gap, plus size!Reader

6. [tentacle] The secret of the palace - After hearing the maids whispering about the creature protecting your kingdom, you want to see it too. /smut

7. [monsters] Farmhands + a summer afternoon with Trekk - Let's jump back in time to a hot summer afternoon. /smut, cheating on shitty husband

8. - 9. -

10. [orc] Örök 2/4 - Örök's night doesn't end at your door. /smut

11. Request: Diman +1

12. [minotaur] Freddie 1/4 - Your night with your brother and his best friend takes a turn when your brother leaves with a girl and you find out that Freddie is a virgin. /older!Reader, virgin!Freddie

13. [goblin] The secret of the palace + Inga - Your maid knows where you spent your night. /fxf, smut

14. [wolf-shifter] Rome + Jealousy - Rome is jealous. It ends in orgasms. /smut

15. - 16. -

17. [orc] Örök 3/4 - Örök gives you what you need. /public smut

18. Request: [goblin] Ut +1

19. [minotaur] Freddie 2/4 - Your friendship with Freddie is changing. /smut

20. [minotaur] Freddie 3/4 - Your night doesn't go as planned.

21. [knight] The secret of the palace + Ser - Inga can't keep secrets. /smut

22. - 23. -

24. [orc] Örök 4/4 - It's time to say goodbye. /smut

25. Request: [cow-hybrid] Your job +1

26. [minotaur] Freddie 4/4 - It's a new chapter for you and the minotaur. /smut (soon. Patreon took it for review.)

27. [dragon] Grado - Your roommate is nesting. /smut

28. [goblin] The secret of the palace + Dram - By now, it's not only the palace that has secrets. / smut

29. - 30. - 31. -

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deadnametrading · 1 year ago

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I've been reading people's interpretations of this scene, and while I agree with the substance of the take that "Laios is quite isolated and his party often don't understand him", it's not the reading I get from this scene in either the manga or the anime.

So let's review the board, spoilers for episode 18 of the anime, obviously

Senshi's Laios: very cute, a reflection of his standards of masculinity. Possibly influenced by him being older, by Dwarven ageing, and the fact Laios is clean shaven. He projects similar notions on Chilchuck, and other biases onto Marcille. I feel this can mostly be chalked up to how brief his time with the party currently has been (1-2 weeks).

Chilchuck's Laios: Dangerous, unreasonable, unhinged, and coloured by his long time experience of Laios.

At this point in the story Chil's perception of Laios has changed rapidly due to both the reveal of his monster obsession (back in episode 1, previously suppressed) and the confrontation with Shuro, among other things. As seen in episode 13, he think's Laios is going to suicidally chase Falin to his death. He also thinks his monster obsession is a sign of a disturbed mind (not a suprise given his own experiences of the dungeon).

Marcille's Laios: Quite the opposite of Senshi, Laios' masculinity is exaggerated, which does reflect her Elf beauty standards (male and female Elves are often similarly feminine ).

Specifically for Marcille, she was told Laios looked a lot like Falin, and before meeting him, her opinion of him was really low (see the Falin makeup extras and her retelling the story of being alone after Laios left home, to Marcille).

Now, I've hated people in my lifetime, there's an inclination to be more critical of them than you would other people. Marcille didn't like the comparisons between the two siblings, and so fixated on their differences.

For review, here is there first meeting:

Marcille came for a fight, clearly her letters didn't tell Falin the whole story. She HATED Laios in this scene. Everything in the three years after was clawing back from this mess.

Look at Laios, not a button a stubble, and neither person got any short or taller in the intervening years. When she gets irate over people saying Falin and Laios look similar, it's because of that mental image broadcasted by the Shapeshifter. That's how she sees him in her mind, the man who took Falin away from her, who made Falin unhappy, and who others have the gall to compare to her dearest friend Falin.

Conclusion: Laios and Falin, their emotional and social alienation, and how they each influence others like Marcille and Kabru; these things are central to the story, and to Laios as a protagonist. The last thing I want it people thinking I'm dismissing that.

But at this point in the story, focusing on that narrative, it's proverbially putting the cart in front of the horse. Structurally, this encounter is a review of party stability moving forward. The previous battle with Chimera Falin put everyone on edge, made them uncertain of their future, and distrustful of Laios.

Laios came out of his fight with Shuro (Toshiro) appearing unobservant to people's appearances and feelings. Marcille and Chilchuck recognise Kabru and Laios didn't. They're suspicious of his abilities. Laios, in turn, knows he has the chance to win them back, knows he fucked up with Shuro (Toshiro) and ruined their friendship.

This encounter is about Laios' shortcomings, reflective of his neurodivergence, the doubts of his party, and how Laios uses his strengths to compensate, and even solve problems his party members can't. Ultimately, this chapter is saying, Laios is different, but he is not lesser, and in a battle against monsters he excels.

The others can point out differences in clothing and speech easily, but those were the tools the shape shifter easily used against them. Laios succeeds precisely because he's focusing on the things others don't pick up on.

#dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #dungeon meshi ep 18 #laios touden #long post

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familiarscars · 5 months ago

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Lost In Control | Bad Omens | CHAPTER 13

adult content | minors do NOT interact.

⋆ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. Bad Omens X ex-girlfriend and singer!Reader.

⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. You and Noah had a difficult ending, but you still need to support each other for the band.

⋆ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆(𝐒). melancholy, ex-boyfriends, difficult relationships, alcohol abuse, swearing, drug addiction, violence.

It's okay to not agree with the characters' attitudes during the fic. It's good to remember that the story is fiction from the author's sick mind, and of course they will make dubious decisions according to my fantasies. Nothing is done to be compared to reality.

Michigan, October 31, 2019

“Hey, we’ve landed.” He said softly, leaning close to your face while nudging your side. “You can open your eyes now.”

You cracked one eye open to check if you were still alive and in one piece after that flying machine had shaken so much on the way from Los Angeles to here. You felt his body shift with a faint laugh. Once you were reassured of your mere safety, you opened the other eye. Finally, the plane had touched down, and you could let go of Noah’s arms, which you’d been clutching onto like a monkey on a branch.

Bad Omens had released their second album just a few months ago. Finding God Before God Finds Me was the perfect blend of everything they’d worked on while locked in the studio for nearly two years, experimenting with new paths until they achieved the final result. The band had crafted a set of tracks that combined melodic elements with heavy riffs. They managed to balance the sound, carving out their unique identity, and leaving behind the comparisons to other bands from their debut album.

Since its release, the critics’ reviews couldn’t have been more positive.

The band’s rapid growth since their debut, along with the approval of both old and new fans, secured them a spot at another festival. A gathering of bands celebrating Halloween and the famous Devil’s Night—a local tradition, as you’d researched online.

“That was awful. I never want to fly again in my life!” You grumbled, adjusting in your seat and crossing your arms. “I can’t believe anyone still has the energy after surviving that turbulence that almost killed us!”

“GOOD MORNING!” Folio shouted, standing on the seat behind you, his high-pitched yell shaking your eardrums. “BAD OMENS IS GONNA DESTROY DEVIL’S NIGHT, BABY!”

You and Noah exchanged a glance and simultaneously rolled your eyes.

“Of course, he’s happy. He snored through the whole damn flight!” Your tone threatened to turn sharp as you were still annoyed, but it softened as you threw the neck pillow you were using at your friend, a smile tugging at your lips. “Pipe down, will you?”

Folio tossed the pillow back, hitting you in the neck with the fluffy object. Your mouth opened as if that action were a direct invitation to war. Once again, you hurled it at his face. While all the normal adults were lined up to exit the plane, you two were playing as if you were at home.

In one of your attacks, the pillow hit Noah’s face. The way he grabbed it, slammed it onto the other seat to end the game, and turned his attention back to his phone was enough to tell you something was wrong. Folio pursed his lips and abandoned the battlefield, retreating to his seat like a well-behaved child after a scolding.

He’d decided it was better to bother someone else.

Maybe Matt.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, nibbling on your lower lip as you tucked your leg under yourself and leaned back into the seat.

“Look at this…” His voice was filled with indignation, and his eyebrows drew together. Noah shoved his phone into your hand, and you took it slowly, seeing a single post on the screen. It was the lineup announcement for the Halloween festival, and initially, you couldn’t spot anything wrong.

“Sorry, but what’s the issue?”

“Gerard said we’d be the headliners of the night, but Landon’s band’s name is bigger than ours.” His eyes narrowed, his expression tense. Noah’s lips thinned, and his perfectly sculpted nose flared slightly.

“And this is a problem for us?” You squinted, puzzled. Maybe it was the lack of sleep or the time zone change, but you genuinely couldn’t grasp where he was going with this.

Noah had always been the first to say you were too critical of Gerard, seeing problems where none existed.

“It’s a problem for me when they use my band’s name to sell tickets but place us on the same level as an inferior band on the poster. In what world does Landon’s band, which has only one viral song, deserve to have their name above mine?” His tone hardened. “In the initial announcements, the festival didn’t even mention their name in the banners, and now, after tickets sold out quickly, a new band magically appears on the lineup?”

“I think you’re putting too much energy into an issue that’s not that deep.”

Noah laughed bitterly, slapping his thigh in disbelief and shaking his head. It wasn’t news that out of all the members, he’d developed a bit of an ego issue over the years. Sure, Bad Omens had more hit songs, more listeners, and were better known than Landon’s band. But from an outside perspective, his tirade honestly sounded identical to a case of inflated pride.

“Hey!” Tapping his arm lightly with your fingertips, you managed to grab his attention again. It broke your heart to see him upset, but the little pout he made, puffing out his cheeks, was unbearably cute.

Slowly, you leaned over him, resting your chin on your hands on his broad shoulder covered by his hoodie. Like a needy puppy, he tilted his head and accepted the string of kisses you planted along the warm, soft skin of his face.

“If the problem is the font size they used for our name on there, I’ll make a new poster where Bad Omens will be the biggest name of all, and the other bands will be so small you can barely read them. How’s that?” Your question came with raised eyebrows, and it was impossible not to smile when he gave in, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye, trying to suppress a grin.

“The biggest of all?”

“Yep.” You followed up with another kiss on his cheek. “And you can stick it on your wall as a keepsake.”

Your fingertips traced a slow path from his neck to his face. Noah chuckled reflexively from the ticklish sensation and startled you when he suddenly turned around, pulling you into his arms and pinning you near the window. Hovering over the divider between the seats in an awkward position, he refused to let go.

With your faces close enough to share the same breath, you felt warmth bloom in your stomach again as his expression regained its usual light. Some days, peace seemed to bless you both like a divine gift, and seeing him radiant was enough to make your body react.

In a shamelessly unfair move, he attacked you with a flurry of quick, loud kisses all over your face, finally stopping at the tip of your nose and pressing his forehead against yours.

“Will I get your autograph on it?” he asked in a hushed tone, as if sharing a secret.

“Have I ever said no to you?” you whispered against his lips, which then brushed yours in a tender kiss.

“Thank you,” he murmured with a soft smile, grazing his nose against yours. Knowing him as well as you did, you could tell from his low tone that a slight emotion was laced in his voice. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Your life would definitely be a total bore,” you teased, watching his smile grow.

For a moment, it felt like you weren’t on a slow-disembarking plane but rather caught up in one of your silly, casual conversations in a park. The way he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear sent shivers through your skin, stirring your flesh and igniting your veins to pump furiously toward your heart in an almost unbearable rhythm.

“Sometimes I feel like I don’t even remember what life was like without you,” he confessed, his bright eyes tinged with melancholy, and his brows knitted in a pained expression. “I caught myself thinking about it last night for no reason, and I couldn’t shake it. I know for sure that without you, I’d be nothing more than a breathing body, living on autopilot, just waiting for the next day. You’re part of me—you guide everything—and I’d never know how to do that without you. Without you, I wouldn’t even be Noah.”

Wrapping him in your arms didn’t feel like enough. You silently begged some divine force to merge the two of you into one at that moment, so overwhelming was your need to shield him from his fears. With the touch of your skin, you promised to always be there; with your lips on his, you vowed never to let anything tear apart what you had.

You found it equally terrifying to imagine life without him. You knew you’d be no more than a breathing body too. You wouldn’t be anything. You’d much rather self-destruct than endure being separated from the one thing that saved your life when even you didn’t believe in it.

He was as much yours as you were his, and nothing in heaven or hell could change that.

“I love you, little storm,” he whispered against your lips, his eyes still closed.

“I love you, my love,” you replied with a smile that always blossomed whenever those words left your lips.

“Jesus Christ, I can’t believe we’re running this late, and you two are making out on the plane instead of moving! Do I have to babysit you all the time?” Matt bellowed, smacking Noah’s back. You and Noah exchanged glances, rolling your eyes as you muttered something incomprehensible before standing up. “I don’t remember getting paid for this! Move it! Move it! Let’s go!”

The show was in full swing, adrenaline running high. You and Noah couldn’t have been more in sync with the audience, which was the largest you’d performed for to date. Everyone screamed, shouted lyrics, and responded well to the interactions.

It felt cliché to say, but you felt even more alive up there, as if the stage’s euphoria sustained you. Every break between songs to catch your breath and take a sip of water filled your lungs with air and gave you the energy to keep giving your best.

They deserved it.

You focused on keeping your tone steady during the penultimate song, gripping the microphone tightly with your eyes closed. It was impossible not to wear a smile every time you heard them finish the lyrics for you.

In a swift motion, you opened your eyes to keep moving across the stage, but something in the crowd caught your attention, freezing you in place. Your voice faltered, and the smile disappeared instantly as the drums continued to beat feverishly in the background. Amidst the sea of faces, you saw only one—his. It was as if the others were dimmed, and his presence was the only one reflecting the light.

Wearing a cap, dark sunglasses, and a turtleneck, he seemed to be trying to blend in. But you would recognize him anywhere, even in a crowd of millions, even if your vision was impaired. Your body reacted instinctively. Your hands grew cold and clammy, making it hard to grip the microphone, your right eyelid twitched faintly, and your jaw locked so tightly you feared your teeth might crack.

Snapping you out of your hypnotic state, Noah took over the rest of the song, his voice gradually becoming a distant noise as the walls seemed to close in around you. Dark and claustrophobic, you felt like you were swimming against the current when, in reality, you were in the middle of a whirlpool pulling you down by the legs. Slowly, your breathing grew erratic, and your heartbeat pounded in your ears at a frantic pace.

The microphone slipped from your trembling fingers, and with hurried steps, you left the stage behind without even checking if what you saw was a delusion or if he was truly there. It didn’t matter—this time, you had the choice to run, and you took it.

Panting, you gripped the sink tightly, splashing water on your neck as you stared at your reflection in the mirror. Nothing seemed to calm the agony his presence in the same space caused—a mix of fear and despair that paralyzed your body. It didn’t matter how many years had passed or how far you had traveled; he still felt so alive in your skin that you could sense every memory as if it were yesterday.

The years hadn’t masked the torture of living in a body like yours. After being violated, it was never the same. No matter what you did to erase the traces of your former self—tattoos, surgeries, nothing could remove what was beneath your skin, coursing through your veins, lighting up every time something reminded you of him, no matter how small.

Your first reaction, after staring at your flushed, red reflection for what felt like an eternity, was to trigger an endless wave of vomiting into the cleaning bucket nearby. Everything in your stomach melted into a green liquid. The disgust was so overwhelming you kept inducing the next wave with your fingers until the acid from your stomach was the only taste on your lips.

You were desperate to cry, but the tears wouldn’t come. The absence of release led you to lash out at yourself, scrubbing your mouth aggressively, scratching your face with the tips of your nails. The memories tangled, blurring the line between past and present. Both hurt so much you pressed your chest with all your might, your fingers clawing at your scalp, yanking your hair mercilessly. Low, hoarse screams tore from your throat.

You couldn’t make noise. You couldn’t forget this was your problem to bear.

After erasing the streaks of powder from the sink, you raised your face, breathing heavily as your heart pounded fiercely in your chest, heating the blood coursing through your veins. Slowly, you wiped the smudged makeup from the corners of your eyes and forced a smile, tucking your hair behind your ear. But your eyes remained sorrowful.

Pain.

Something hurt.

You just wanted to go home.

“Finally found you!” Noah said, placing his hands on his hips when he saw you leaving the bathroom. He was leaning against the couch in the dressing room, eating an apple. “What was that? Were you still feeling sick from the flight?”

From a distance, you observed him in silence. He didn’t seem angry about you leaving the stage or for being here. His bright eyes only showed concern, but the walls of your mind were compressed under such intense pressure that you wished he would disappear for a few seconds.

Before you realized it, Noah approached. In your peripheral vision, you saw him reaching out to touch your arm, but you sidestepped him, walking to the other side of the room.

"Okay, I got it!" He raised his hands with a smile, treating it like a joke, and something about that made you feel even worse. "We've got some people outside wanting to take pictures. Let's do a quick interview, and it’d be nice to talk to them on the way."

"What people?" You turned to him, stopping the massage on your neck. Noah narrowed his eyes slightly, analyzing the hesitation in your voice. "Where did they come from?"

"They’re fans who came to see us. I don’t think I can memorize every face..."

He could be among them. He could be among them.

Your mind repeated the thought as your hand moved from your neck to your hair. Your gaze fixed on a spot on the floor, and it was as if a projector replayed the scene in your head. He was there in the crowd, watching you, and now he wanted to pass himself off as one of your fans.

"I’ve told you before, I don’t like when you do that—you’ll hurt yourself." Noah startled you by gently pulling your fingers away from your hair at the back of your neck, where you had been tugging at it.

Carefully, he positioned himself beside you, lifting your chin with his finger. Softly, his hand wiped the dampness under your eyes, and you looked at him with something stuck in your throat, words failing to escape.

"Please, don’t make me go out there and take pictures with them," you whispered, clutching Noah’s torso so tightly your nails dug into his shirt. "Please, please, please... I don’t want to go."

Desperation and disorientation. Your eyes couldn’t settle on a single point, and your voice came in gasps as if you were running a marathon.

"Alright, but Gerard won’t let us leave without doing the interview. It’s part of the event coverage, and he thinks it’s important we talk to them." Noah explained, running his fingers over the top of your head as if the gesture might calm you. Something landed there—a kiss between your hair. He rested his chin on your head and sighed deeply. "Think you can handle it? Three or four questions, and then we’re free to go back to the hotel."

"Promise?" You asked, lifting your head after sniffing. Noah smiled and kissed the tip of your nose, resting his forehead gently against yours.

"I promise."

Facing yet another woman with dyed hair and fishnet tights. Interesting.

Since arriving at the makeshift studio where a camera and sound equipment sat on a table, the interviewer had only said a brief "hi" to you. You could tell she genuinely cared about the band, but that interest was entirely directed at one vocalist.

"This is Bad Omens’ first time as a headliner at a festival like this, and I wanted to know, what were your expectations, Noah?" The girl with the red-dyed hair and microphone in hand directed her sixth question to him. "Were they met?"

It wasn’t surprising anymore that they ignored the fact the band had five members, including two vocalists. Most interviews only requested one of you, and when the label forced you to accompany the poster boy, it was obvious you’d be overlooked.

To them, Noah was the centerpiece, and in their minds, everything Bad Omens had achieved was thanks to him alone. As if you and the other members were merely the crust of the pizza.

"I thought it was amazing!" He began. "From backstage, we could feel the energy of the crowd, and it got us pumped to get on stage. It’s the first time we’ve played for such a large audience, and I won’t lie—I was nervous."

"Do you usually have any specific preparation for that?"

"I like to take a few minutes alone to focus. I think it helps me stay grounded," he replied, and you rolled your eyes.

Playing with the microphone cord was already becoming tedious.

"We have to talk about the new album! It definitely has a different vibe from the last one, and people say you did that to put an end to online comparisons with another famous band. Is that true?"

He hated discussing it that way, and you noticed his discomfort as his smile faded slightly.

"It’s normal to compare—we were newcomers, and no one knew what the hell Bad Omens was." You jumped in, cutting Noah off before he could answer. "But this album truly shows who we are and what we’re here to do, putting an end to any comparisons by those who can’t tell the difference between styles. Without identity, we’re just another small-name band on a festival flyer, and we’re definitely not that kind of band."

Maybe you sounded arrogant. That’s what being around him does.

"That’s really cool!" She responded, nodding in agreement. "But Noah, how was the creative process for the softer songs, considering you guys weren’t used to that?"

It couldn’t just be your imagination, but something about her gaze said otherwise. Sure, you were used to being ignored in interviews as though you were a production assistant, but she not only directed all her questions to him but smiled sweetly and looked at him with a glimmer of fascination that made your chest throb.

All that irritation doubled as you gripped the microphone handle tightly, letting out a heavy sigh.

"Maybe your question would be answered if you directed it to the songwriter who worked on every soft track alongside Jolly." You interrupted again. "I don’t recall Noah announcing a solo career."

"Hey," he murmured, trying to calm you.

Of course, he didn’t want you to say anything. Something stroking his ego was still appealing, but you weren’t in the mood to play a supporting character today. You didn’t even want to be there, not when your heart pounded so hard it felt like it might consume your entire body.

"I’d really like to be seen as a vocalist in the band I’ve worked in for five years, and I’d appreciate it if you acknowledged me here to ask questions about the album I helped create instead of asking dumb questions to my pretty boyfriend!"

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Noah chuckle softly, quickly composing himself. The interviewer shifted in her seat, trying to smile discreetly to mask the blush spreading across her cheeks.

"I’m sorry..."

"But I won’t be sorry next time when I rip your eyes out for focusing too much on someone else’s boyfriend instead of doing your job. Misogynistic bitch."

In a fit of anger, you stood up and hurled the microphone at her face before storming out like a furious thunderbolt. For the first time, something felt off as you marched back to the dressing room, hearing the girl say the cut on her brow was minor. You felt rage, discomfort, like being trapped in clothes far too large for your body.

For the first time, you started to hate all of it.

⭑ @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard ; @iluvmewwwww75 ; @anarchydomainglory ; @foliosgirl ; @lma1986 ; @chey-h ; @supersquirrel1996 ; @zozaline ; @just-randomm-stuff

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the-conversation-pod · 3 months ago

Text

Year in Review 2024

AND WE'RE BACK!

Come join Ben, NiNi, and Shan as we talk about the trends we noticed, air some grievances, hand out some of our favorite fan awards, and make some new resolutions!

Timestamps

The timestamps will now correspond with chapters on Spotify for easier navigation.

00:00:00 - Welcome 00:00:55 - 2024 Headlines: Industry Consolidation 00:06:49 - 2024 Headline: Self-Censorship 00:13:52 - 2024 Headlines: Vertical Format Micro-BLs and Other Shit We're Anti 00:20:14 - Festivus Airing Of The Grievances 00:36:51 - 2024 Fan Awards 00:55:49 - QL Resolutions 01:04:45 - Affirmations and Hopes for the Future

The Conversation Transcripts!

Thanks to the continued efforts of @lurkingshan as an editor and proofreader, we are able to bring you transcripts of the episodes.

We will endeavor to make the transcripts available when the episodes launch, and it is our goal to make them available for past episodes (Coming soon thanks to @wen-kexing-apologist). When transcripts are available, we will attach them to the episode post (like this one) and put the transcript behind a Read More cut to cut down on scrolling.

Please send our volunteers your thanks!

00:00 - Welcome

NiNi

Welcome to The Conversation, the Queer Media And Brown Liquor Podcast.

Ben

I'm Ben, the media critic

NiNi

I’m NiNi, the vibes queen

Ben

And we are your drunk Caribbean uncle and auntie who are sitting on the porch in the rocking chairs

NiNi

We’re here to talk queer film and dramas, with a special focus on Asian QL

Ben

So if you like to dive deep into queer stories…

NiNi

If you like cracked out takes on art and commerce in queer media…

Ben

If you just enjoy simping for attractive people…

NiNi

We believe in simping!

Ben

Tune in!

00:00:55 - 2024 Headlines: Industry Consolidation

Ben

And we're back. Oh my God, it's time to review 2024 before we get to the VIIB Awards, where it's just nonstop us talking about our faves. Once again, we have brought Shan into the booth because we have too much to discuss. Shan, say hello.

Shan

Hello!

Ben

First, it's time for us to talk about the big ideas of the year. NiNi, as the person who loves Thai BL the most on The Conversation, let's talk about how clearly the money is drying up and everybody is having to shuffle to whoever's got something to offer them.

NiNi

Is the money drying up or is it just being funneled all to the same place? Because it feels like more money is getting spent on fewer things. I don't think that's necessarily a good thing, but I'm not sure that I can put my finger up and say that's a bad thing, either. We have seen some definite dips in quality. We don't have as many faves this year as we did last year, or even the year before. But what we did love, we loved-loved.

So it's a complicated picture, I guess, but definitely there's been a consolidation and we wanted to talk about it a little bit because we predicted this in our very first set of episodes, all those many, many, many moons ago. We predicted that there was a consolidation coming in Thai BL because everything just got so big, so fast, and that usually precedes everything's starting to shrink back down a little bit.

Ben

Big things we noted this year was GMMTV absorbing a bunch of free agents and, in one case, basically the entire staff of a whole studio that they now hire to do production work for them.

Shan

Mmhmm. It's been wild. Like every week, I feel like we've been seeing announcements of new talent acquired by GMMTV.

Ben

Barcode is now at GMMTV.

NiNi

That was a big get.

Shan

All the Wabi Sabi boys this year, too.

NiNi

Yeah, those were the two big headlines, Wabi Sabi getting folded into GMMTV was one and definitely Barcode coming right at the end of the year. That was a big one.

Shan

They also got Dimple Fluke.

NiNi

I mean, we love Dimple Fluke, but I don't know how big Dimple Fluke is in the general fandom—

Shan

—He's big in my heart, NiNi, big in my heart.

Ben

[laughs] We thought this was coming when they got Singto to come back. Clearly trying to do it on his own didn't work and they were able to get him back in their house. I don't know how I feel about it. Wabi Sabi is no longer doing talent management. BOC seems to be shrinking

NiNi

BOC (Be On Cloud) has said that they're backing off of talent management, as well. They dropped most of their roster. I think they only represent Mile, Appo, and Bible now.

Ben

Wow.

Shan

GMMTV is the big studio that seems to want to be in the idol management game. And so that's where a lot of the talent is going. What feels concerning about it to me—we've talked quite a lot on this podcast about the increase in output, but not a commensurate increase in quality from GMMTV.

Out of all of the BLs that they're putting out annually, which is around eight to 10, there may be only a couple that actually have really good scripts behind them. So they're acquiring all this talent, but we know they don't have enough good writing to support shows to support this much talent. They put out, this year, a script writing contest to the plebes to say, “Help us, we need help writing shows.”

NiNi

I was just gonna bring that up.

Ben

With hostile as fuck language, by the way.

Shan

They literally went to the fans and said, “Can you write us some shows? Because we got nothing and we're acquiring all this talent.” That's just on the BL side. They've got this whole side of the house of these great, talented actresses and very few projects to cast them in. So it's concerning to me to see all the talent going to this one place that clearly cannot handle everybody that they're taking on.

Ben

It worries me too, because we've noticed a lot less sponsorship deals in most of their shows. One or two shows per year will get the usual eight- to 10-plus sponsor cards at the beginning, but that number has dropped off overall. It's very clear that there's maybe not as much ad money helping fund the production in the first place.

NiNi

Bestie, I haven't seen an Oishii ad in quite some time.

Shan

Right, where did Oishii go?

Ben

If the juice makers have given up, it's over.

NiNi

It is concerning to see this consolidation happening. There's a few people who are out on their own, who I think might be able to survive on their own. Like Jeff is out on his own, Billkin and PP are out on their own, and they're probably the ones who can sustain. Everybody else is either going to GMMTV or they're getting into the other side of GMM Grammy, like the One31 kind of lakorn side. But even that is shrinking, we're given to understand, people are moving into BL because that's the growing side of the market.

Actors are moving into BL who might not have done BL before. Big names got into BL this year, like Jes Jespipat did 4 Minutes with Bible, a Be On Cloud production. He's a big lakorn actor. And then JJ and Tor did Spare Me Your Mercy at the end of the year. The headline on that really is like these big lakorn actors who nobody would have ever expected to do gay shit are doing the—well, in the case of Spare Me Your Mercy, semi gay shit. But Jes did gay gay shit in 4 Minutes, you know what I mean? So that's one of the big, I think, headlines that we need to be looking at looking at Thai BL in particular going forward.

00:06:49 - 2024 Headlines: Self-Censorship

Ben

We need to talk about Thai BL starting to self-censor, likely to reach specific markets.

Shan

Yeah, it's concerning. I wouldn't call it a trend yet, but we've seen a few examples of it in the last few months and it's making me nervous. What I'm talking about is, productions that are publicly saying, admitting that they are censoring some of the more explicit romantic or sexual content from their BL shows so that they can focus on reaching a wider audience with their message. We've seen statements like that from the Addicted Heroin creator. We've seen recently the screenwriter of Spare Me Your Mercy talk about the decision to remove explicit sexual content from the show for the same reason. We saw some of this related to Love Sick as well. If you're gonna do a Love Sick remake in 2024, the one thing you would expect them to improve on is not having censored kisses, but nope, they didn't do that.

So there's this drive and this stated intention by some of the creators behind these shows to create BL dramas that minimize the actual BL as much as possible. They want to take advantage of the market for BL. They want to take advantage of the fan interest and the fan engagement for BL while also getting away with keeping the actual queer romance in these stories as minimal as possible. That is pretty shitty. They're coming out and they're saying this openly, this is not us just guessing.

NiNi

Just saying that taking the romance out is why I left a lot of Western media. I'm so tired of seeing people say things like, “Well this doesn't have any plot.” The romance is the plot, the relationship is the plot and not recognizing that in a genre that is about romance is the part that kind of makes me go like mmm, okay, like yes—

Ben

The genre is literally called Boy Love. (all) Where is the love?

How old is that song? Hold on, let me Google that real quick.

Shan

Don't look it up. But this is what I mean. Like, NiNi and I are refugees from Western romance. We came over to Asia for kdrama, because we wanted to see a genre of television that respected romance, that took it seriously as its own storytelling, that actually respected romance fans and people who like love stories. That is one of the best and most consistent features of Asian drama. And so to have now this subset of Asian drama creators who are specifically working in a queer love space that is even more hard for people to find, even less accepted by the mainstream, to have them intentionally self-censoring because they are trying to prove some kind of weird point. It just completely misses the point for me of why people are here engaging with these dramas. Certainly it doesn't seem to be helping in terms of pushing forward the social agenda in these countries where they're making these shows.

Ben

This is the part that always stresses me out when we're trying to measure how gay can it be and still get funded because this happens to us repeatedly in queer viewer space. Netflix pulled this shit on us where, when they first wanted to go to digital streaming, they set up deals with all of the gay distribution houses. And we got to watch all of these movies that we had never had access to before. And it was great. And we all were like, hell yeah, I'm going to go on Netflix so can watch my little gay shows.

As soon as they get tastemakers—read: queer and brown people—to pimp their shit, they try and immediately convert and get a bunch of normies in there.

NiNi

Yep, that's basically what happens.

Ben

This, again, this is not shit I'm making up! This is what really happened.

Shan

These are the patterns and we've seen them play out so many times in so many places and it's the pattern we're starting to see play out in BL and it's alarming.

NiNi

I mean! It played out on Tumblr. The platform that we spend so much of our time on, this is exactly what happened. The people who built the ship got kicked out of the ship.

Ben

It's been an actually horrible year on Tumblr for queer people, especially trans people. It's a bad look that the gays who make the shit who seem like they're in an accepted enough space are either choosing to or being pressured to straighten up their act so that they can continue to get fed and make stuff. That doesn't feel great. It feels really worrisome as a sign about what may or may not be going on. Like it's only a few things right now, but we're seeing this everywhere else.

NiNi

What we're basically saying is support GagaOOLala

Shan

Please! If you're gonna spend money on any of these platforms, spend your money on the queer platform hosted in Taiwan that actually cares about queer people.

Ben

If you have spent significant sums of money on iQIYI in the last year for two shows and you haven't spent money on Gaga, reflect and then message us. [all laugh]

NiNi

And I mean if you need yet another reason to subscribe to Gaga, their social media manager is like the greatest person in the world.

Ben

They're my favorite person. They made fun of Kidnap. They were like, Kidnap, the show that's probably poorly named, is back on this week.

Shan

Let's just get on our soapbox about Gaga for a minute, okay? They are the only platform that streams the vast majority of Japanese QL, period. They bring us Taiwanese BL. They bring us Thai BL in increasing volume.

Ben

The WeTV shows have been consistently airing on Gaga lately. GMMTV is also clearly trying to consolidate and are starting to put their shows behind the Gaga and iQIYI paywall.

Shan

It's a good platform that is worth supporting and it's far cheaper than any other streaming you're paying for. You should have it. You should subscribe.

NiNi

This is not an ad.

Ben

They do. We are not being paid. But if you guys want to hang out—I'm just kidding. Don't put that in there, NiNi. [laughs]

NiNi

Yeah, but yeah, support Gaga. That's the only platform that when Park Seo Ham came out of the military, sent out a tweet saying, “Tell the world the bitch is back.”

Ben

I love her!

Shan

They deserve it.

NiNi

She is us, we are her, and this is a non-binary she. We don't know the gender of the GagaOOLala social media manager, but she's one of the girls.

Ben

I'm using ‘she’ in a gay way. It's very affectionate.

NiNi

She, non-gender specific.

00:13:52 - 2024 Headlines: Vertical Format Micro-BLs and Other Shit We're Anti

Ben

While we're bitching about things, let's talk about all these stupid vertical TV shows that keep coming out and how we must continue to refuse to watch them. We have already seen one of the shows that [Iijima] was in is going to apparently be put on TV properly.

Good job, everybody, in not watching that. [NiNi and Shan laugh]

Do not let this become a thing. We cannot tell them that we are willing to watch shows two minutes at a time on our phones only. Unacceptable.

Shan

Not only two minutes at a time on our phones only, but only after burning through a huge number of ads. That's how you get to the shows.

Ben

Gross.

NiNi

This is like Ben's whole conversation in one of our more recent episodes about the BL TikTok filter. They're trying to get you used to the BL TikTok filter in like a million ways.

Ben

I won't. I will NOT accept this!

Shan

Because the aim of this is to stop making actual dramas and just get us to watch a version of TikTok on our phones and call that BL. That's the end game here, guys. Don't fall for it.

NiNi

Do not fall for it.

Ben

We are here to support storytellers only. We are not here to make ad guys happy.

NiNi

I think that's a good segue.

Ben

Speaking of ad guys who clearly don't like us, Korea is not interested in BL right now. [laughs]

NiNi

Oh my God.

Ben

We got three good Korean BLs this year.

Shan

At least they were all excellent. I know we talked about it on our recent Hallyu episode but now that the year is complete and the data has been crunched, I just want to underline this. We got, not necessarily fewer shows total from Korea, but we got fewer shows of a decent length. We got fewer shows of quality. A lot of what Korea put out this year was junk, frankly. These little vertical series, these small little web series that are really short episodes and very lacking in narrative. And then they also put out three of the very best things of the year.

So it was a real dichotomy. In years previous Korea was putting out a more steady run of quality shows. We saw a real drop off of that this year.

Ben

Oh shit, did Strongberry even make anything this year?

NiNi

I was just about to say this is the year that Strongberry pissed me off because they made that Happy Ending thing that was neither happy nor an ending.

Shan

And they made Blossom Campus, which was terrible.

Ben

Ew…

Shan

Strongberry let us down this year for the first time ever.

NiNi

I kind of feel it for them because the CEO of Strongberry has spent so much time telling us how hard it is to get shit made and to get money to get shit made. So I was just like, ooh, things must be getting, like, real rough if they couldn't put out anything good.

Shan

Can we though just take a moment to shout out the CEO of Strongberry for putting out his own little story about what happened with that show and basically being like, I told the writer not to fucking do that and he didn't listen to me.

Ben

I did love that. I love that he just said, I told her she ain't let one listen.

Shan

He was like, this is not on me. Do not associate this with me. You love Strongberry. You will continue to love Strongberry. [NiNi laughs]

Ben

He basically did say it like that. We were like, all right, girl. [laughs]

Shan

We'll let you have this one.

NiNi

Yeah, but I mean it's a year in which we had nothing good from Strongberry, and that to me is like, wow. We got other really good stuff, some of it came out of absolutely nowhere. And I think that it had to come out of absolutely nowhere to get aired, because, as we saw when things are in the pipeline and they know about it, they're going to try to kill it.

Ben

Our last big highlight of the year we want to point out is that there was a Japanese BL airing almost every week this year. That is unprecedented. Usually, even if stuff gets made, we barely know about it, it gets no distribution, and the fansubbers are having people show up at their houses over. [NiNi laughs]

So we almost never get a lot of the Japanese BL, but there was a significant amount that was just handed to us on legal platforms for us to support, most notably GagaOOLala.

Shan

GagaOOLala! I started Japanese QL Corner in January of 2024 on Tumblr. It's just a weekly post that I do that tracks the Japanese QL that's out. And I had things to write about every single week for the entire year. And we weren't always having to chase things down in the dark corners of the internet. We had things that we could watch on a regular streaming platform every week from Japan, And there were weeks when I was writing about six or seven shows at a time. That's how much was airing.

NiNi

Now were those six or seven shows great?��

Ben

Not always.

NiNi

I would say no, not always, but in terms of batting average, I think Japan did pretty well this year.

Shan

I'd say still about half of the shows that aired from Japan this year were good to fantastic. And the other half were problematic here and there. There were only a handful that I thought were, like, bad bad.

Ben

My favorite thing about watching Japanese BL is that I am never mid about it. I either really liked it or I was like, who is this for? [Shan and NiNi laugh]

I love that there's not all this wishy washy shit about like, oh, maybe it's kind of okay if I squint this direction. I'd be like, no, fuck that show. A 4 for you, a 3 for you, a 4 for you. Stay away from the shows I love. All of you over here, my 9s and 10s. Don't look at them. They're not worth it. Averages are not the most useful metric but I really like that when I'm recommending or not recommending Japanese BL, I feel very firm about how I feel about these shows.

Shan

I do think that there has been a lot more variation in quality with the high uptick in volume of shows. But the batting average is still pretty damn high.

We've got two new Japanese QL productions starting this week. So I'm excited that it's gonna keep going.

Ben

That's it for the big highlights.

00:20:14 - Festivus Airing Of The Grievances

Ben

Before we close out this year, we need to vent a little bit of grief. We need to talk about the things that we were super hype about that made us look like clowns. We're gonna start with our biggest disappointments in no particular order. Starting with the worst.

NiNi, Wandee Gooday!

NiNi

[laughs] The absolute worst. I am so pissed off at this show. I talked a little bit about how pissed off I was with this show in our mailbag episode, but friends, I still have more ire in me about the show. I was so stoked, and the show dragged me along for a solid five to six episodes and then literally dropped me on my face. And that's something that I do not forgive in any way. I will remain pissed off forever.

This is not The Shipper level, but damn close and I can't do it.

Ben

If you want to feel a little solidarity, David was actually bitching about this at brunch earlier this weekend. He said, I can't believe I wrote a whole post for the first time on Tumblr about this show only to be made to look like a clown like this. He said he's never writing anything ever again.

NiNi

[laughs] David's like, how dare you embarrass me?

Shan

How dare you? It sucked, man. It was a huge letdown.

NiNi

And the thing is that it could have been so good.

Shan

Could’ve had it all.

NiNi

I'm convinced that the first half and the second half were written by two different people. That's the only thing that makes any sense to me.

Ben

Yes, let's start talking about BL like Star Wars fans. STAR WARS COULD BE SO GOOD IF IT WAS GOOD. Before you bitches come after me, my very first email address I made is a Star Wars email. Don't come for me.

NiNi

Don't come for him, period. Okay?

Shan

Leave us alone, it's been a long year.

Ben

Speaking of a long year of disappointments, Shan, I'm letting you have the entire disappointment that was all of Sammon’s collected works this year.

NiNi

Oh God, here we go.

Shan

We're calling this the Sammon Omnibus entry in the disappointment list. This year there were four different projects associated with Dr. Sammon. She screen wrote three out of four, and was the original writer for one: these shows were Dead Friend Forever, 4 Minutes, Spare Me Your Mercy, and Petrichor. All QLs, all with her attached, all very heavily promoted and very buzzy.

I'm not gonna say that none of these shows were good at all or had any artistic merit. I actually really liked Dead Friend Forever until it fucked up the ending. 4 Minutes I found to be a very beautiful but ultimately incoherent mess. Spare Me Your Mercy was just a flop for all of us, none of us finished the show after all of us putting it on our list of the most anticipated of the year.

Ben

After JJ put his whole ass into Great Men Academy, I can't believe they embarrassed him like this.

[NiNi laughs]

Shan

We have all seen Tor and JJ in other projects. You are lying if you claim that they were on their game in this show. I'm sorry. They have both done better with other people with better material. This show did not live up to the hype. I did not even finish it because I was so disappointed.

Ben

I can't believe we're saying that Tor was better in fucking Midnight Museum.

NiNi

He was! He was absolutely better in Midnight Museum.

Shan

He was better in Midnight Museum! And he had better chemistry with Gun than he did with JJ in this BL. JJ was light yards better in Great Men Academy than he was here. I'm not trying to shade the actors. It's not their fault. It's the material. The writing was bad. The show was flat. They seemed not at all dialed into their characters. They seemed confused about what they were supposed to be conveying, probably because their relationship development arc didn't make any fucking sense. It's not the actor's fault. They are very good actors and this show did not give them what they needed to succeed. I cannot believe what a letdown this show was after all that hype. There's also Petrichor, which is the first GL that has her attached to it. And I had to drop that one, too. It was hard to watch.

Sammon is kind of considered one of the best screenwriters in the QL industry in Thailand. She wrote Triage. She was attached to Manner of Death. She has a track record. She has all these novels that are very popular and well liked. So there's a certain level of expectation that comes with her shows. But this year, her big year of four QLs, this was not it. Not a single one of these projects left me satisfied. I started the year as such a strong fan of her work, and I'm ending the year kind of throwing my hands up like, well, girl, guess Triage was a fluke. I don't know what's been going on, but you have not even come close to meeting that standard again.

NiNi

I liked DFF and 4 Minutes more than you guys did. We've talked about this already. But I will say that these are shows that they spent money on. I have no complaints about production quality on any of these shows. They pulled up some quality actors. They got Engfah in Petrichor. They got JJ and Tor for, as you mentioned, Spare Me Your Mercy. Bible and Jes put on a clinic in 4 Minutes. And the DFF boys, they put their whole pussy in. They acted these shows, and they produced these shows. They look great, they sound great, but the writing just didn't hold up to everything else that they were putting in.

And they got progressively worse because the one that I enjoyed the most was Dead Friend Forever, that was the first one. And the one that I enjoyed the least was Spare Me and Mercy. Like, we all dropped it. For different reasons, I think, but we all dropped it.

Shan

I mean, it was not working on any level. So no matter what you were there for, there was just nothing to hold on to. If you were there for the romance, if you were there for the mystery, if you were there for the euthanasia discussion, it didn't really succeed at any of those.

NiNi

Let's move on. Because we could talk about this forever.

Ben

Oh, that's fine. It's time for me to go the fuck off. I've been holding this in for months. [NiNi] It's time to talk about My Love Mix Up.

NiNi

God, here we go.

Ben

Before I hurt people's feelings about this, I like Fourth and Gemini a lot. I think they're both very charming. I think they are both real talents and I am very much looking forward to seeing how they mature over the next decade, the way we got to experience with the original GMMTV BL boys. That being said, part about supporting your faves, for me, is wanting them to get work that uses them well. And I do not believe that My Love Mix Up used anyone well. It's extremely disappointing to me that after doing such a good job on Cherry Magic Thailand, that GMMTV released a show that did everything I was afraid would go wrong with Cherry Magic Thailand.

Cherry Magic Thailand managed to make the Cherry Magic story applicable to the Thai context in a way that we all loved. My Love Mix Up was not a Thai adaptation of Kieta Hatsukoi. It was My School President in a terrible Halloween costume, clearly trying to sell more tickets for concerts for these boys. It was embarrassing and it was a waste of everyone's time. I am so mad about this because I had doubts about this the whole way into it, but really hoped that after the strong showing in Cherry Magic, that there was gonna be something really cool here. I had a lot of hopes about this. This sucked.

And so much of it comes down to casting. As much as I like Forth and Gemini, I like them as individual actors, not as a branded pair. I think they work just fine together, but they were not the correct boys to play these characters together.

NiNi

It's especially noteworthy because there were other boys in My Love Mix Up who I think would have done a better job.

Ben

[performately coughing] Aungpao!

NiNi

They put Aungpao in this show and they didn't make him one of the leads. Aungpao would have killed Atom.

Ben

Yeah, Aungpao would have done a way better job.

Shan

Yeah, he would have been perfect.

Ben

And I think Fourth should have played Ida's character.

Shan

I watched one or two episodes of this before I dropped it. And to me, it was just such an obvious case of miscasting. They cast it based on wanting to shove a pre-existing branded pair into a set of characters that did not fit them. And so from the start, the whole production betrayed the story. That's just frustrating.

Ben

And they clearly did not understand the major themes either. They really fucked it up.

NiNi

I came at it from a different perspective than you guys, because you guys had watched Kieta Hatsukoi, and I deliberately did not watch Kieta Hatsukoi until after I had watched My Love Mix Up, because I wanted to be sort of a control, and I ended up in the same place on the whole thing that you guys did, watching Kieta Hatsukoi afterward.

They did not get this right at all. They didn't have the spirit of it.

Ben

I'm really glad you were able to arrive at this conclusion with us. Kieta Hatsukoi is really solid and I do not understand how they fucked that up that badly. It pissed me off. It was disappointing. Chop!

Speaking of chops, how dare they reboot Love Sick in 2024 and then fuck it up this badly. I loved Love Sick as what felt like the Thai Degrassi. How do you make a worse version of that? In 2014 Love Sick was absolutely insane. They had girls two-timing dudes in the same bed with them in their own apartment complex. They have motherfuckers trying to drown each other in the pools and shit. [NiNi laughs]

Shan

And they had sex. They didn't show it on screen, but those characters had sex.

Ben

I get much of the stuff that we saw in 2014. Love Sick may have been adding stuff and they may have been trying to be more true to the book by just making it into this boring ass GL and BL experience, but it just wasn't good. And I was pissed because they went in a cool direction by making Aim queer that was really good, but it doesn't save the show.

Shan

That was the only interesting thing I heard about this remake, is that they made Aim a lesbian which added a little bit of a layer to her desire to cling on to her boyfriend. But everything else they did worse on than the original show.

Ben

I don't want to be super mean to these boys because everybody was new in Love Sick and everybody's clearly new here. But goddamn, the new kid does not match Captain. And the way that they went so hard in making him look like Captain undercuts him constantly because he's just not as good as Captain.

Shan

You know, Ben, the moment I saw that buzzcut is when I knew that this production was doomed. [NiNi laughs] Because that is so not the fucking point. That's not the part of him you have to get right!

NiNi

My whole thing about this is that to be disappointed you have to have expectations. I was not disappointed in Love Sick 2024 because I had no expectations. I did not watch it. From the time I saw that they were remaking Love Sick, I remember, I think we said on this podcast, “Who needs it? Nobody.”

Nobody needs a Love Sick remake in 2024.

Ben

We were correct. We asked why it was made and they had no answer.

Speaking of why was this made, Yin and War had a great deal of fun with their friends in the show that they produced, Jack and Joker. I ended up dropping it because they killed Jennie and I refused to accept that and I left.

NiNi

Jennie Panhan is a goddess and you cannot kill her on your show. I'm sorry, you just can't.

Shan

They really shouldn't have. It was pointless and gratuitous and disgusting.

But let me just say, I did finish this show and I don't wanna be super mean to Jack and Joker because here's the thing: it's not a real show. It is a self-funded vanity project from Yin and War so that they could hang out on a set with their friends.

Ben

And Tee Bundit was there.

Shan

And Tee Bundit was also there. I went into the show and I was like, I know this is not a real story. They cobbled this script together themselves. We're just having a good time here. That was my only expectation: this will be fun. It'll be entertaining. I have no expectations for a coherent story, for themes, anything like that. And even with that bar, the lowest bar I can possibly grant to a show, somehow this show disappointed me.

It was a mess, but not a fun mess. It was boring. It was mostly sexless, which was the most shocking part to me. They had three pairings in this show, only one of whom actually kissed on screen.

Ben

They had our boy Pee in this show.

Shan

They put Pee fucking Peerawich in this show and they didn't let him kiss anybody! I was pissed.

I'm livid, still. They had this great side couple that the fandom was super into. They never actually let them get together on screen. They did not become an actual romance.

Ben

The most useful thing about that side pair is that Shan recognizes Mark Siwat about 30% of the time now.

Shan

I know what his face looks like now!

Hi, Mark Siwat, this is my letter of apology to you.

NiNi

Shan has a very specific Mark Siwat face blindness.

Shan

It's Mark Siwat-only face blindness. And I'm sorry, Mark Siwat, you don't deserve that from me. You were a delight in this show. And I'm so mad that your character did not get a proper story.

The thing that frustrated me about this show is it's a fucking fan service project. So why aren't you serving the fucking fans? We spent 16 hours in this show and it was mostly boring nonsense. They stopped doing the capers halfway through for some reason and just made us sit in these endless plots about this stupid fucking mafia whatever, rich families playing squid games. It was stupid. It was boring.

Meanwhile, they didn't deliver on most of the things that the fans wanted. What a pointless use of so much money. Why, Yin and War? Why?!

Ben

We hadn't seen Mark properly in BL since Bite Me, so I was especially disappointed. I'm still mad about that, too! Don't you worry! I'm still mad!

NiNi

God, I'm still mad about Bite Me.

Shan

This should have been the funnest thing that happened this year. And instead, it was boring and sad.

Ben

I'm so sorry that you were on two of our disappointments, Jennie. You didn't deserve that, either.

NiNi

That's an important thing to bring up. Like, where's the fun? I feel like there were things that should have been fun that were just a slog. Where did the fun go? If this is gonna be a caper BL, then be a caper BL. You know that it's bad if you can't get me to watch a Tee Bundit show. I have not watched a minute of it. You know I feel about Tee Bundit. I love him even when everybody else hates him. Except for Hidden Agenda, which we will never talk about again. But this show didn't even compel me to watch it, which is saddening.

Shan

Yeah, it was lackluster and it was truly only the fan sentiment for Yin and War that made it popular. It was just fans supporting actors that they like, and there's nothing wrong with that. But there's no there there with this show.

NiNi

Shout out to War’s pottery videos. Sir, you are hyper competent and I find that very attractive.

Shan

And I really recommend just watching his pottery videos instead of this show.

Ben

That's right, just head to IG instead. War did good work in Love Mechanics. That's why he's a fave. That doesn't mean I have to applaud everything he does after that, especially when it's not that good.

I did like all of his outfits, though. Clearly he had a great time.

NiNi

Okay, so now that we have completed our Festivus airing of the grievances…

Ben

I feel better. I really do.

Shan

I'm happy we got that off our chests.

NiNi

Let's move into our fan awards.

00:36:51 - 2024 Fan Awards

NiNi

In advance of our Very Important Internet BL awards, VIIB Awards that are coming up later this month for you guys, we just wanted to have a few awards that are just us having fun. And so we put the call out and we got some feedback.

Ben, take us into it.

Ben

We are finally awarding the Girl, You Tried winner of the year. Girl, You Tried, for those of you who have been with us, is something we like to award every season to shows that we think had really good ideas that maybe weren't executed as well as they could have been. We handed out quite a few awards this year. I don't remember all of them right now, but we have selected a winner.

Shan, would you like to announce the winner?

Shan

Ooh, do I get to announce? How exciting. Okay.

The 2024 Girl, You Tried Award goes to Love Is Better The Second Time Around from Japan. [air horn]

Ben

We've already covered this. I'm very happy about the yukata sex, but not about episodes 5 and 6.

Shan

So close to being one of our favorite shows of the year. And that is why it gets this award.

NiNi

Agreed. I am in 100% agreement.

Ben

Other shows that were up for consideration included The Sign, Living With Him, Ayaka Is in Love with Hiroko, I Hear the Sunspot—oof I got beef with that show—and The On1y One, Shan got beef with that one.

Shan

I got beef with that show!

NiNi

I think we made the right choice in terms of the final winner, though. I think of all of those the one that was closest to actually making it.

Ben

A bunch of those guys are in another MBS not-BL right now where they're all playing boxers, hugging each other without their shirts on, and sweatin’ and shit.

NiNi

Yes, more information? You're burying the lede here. Like, I need to know where I can find it.

Ben

[laughs] Nowhere, man. It's not in the Western circles right now.

NiNi

The fan subbers are letting me down.

Ben

I got a couple of Japanese fans keeping me in the loop. They send me little clips and it's all my favorite boys wrestling on the ground and shit in dark gyms.

NiNi

Why don't they make more shows like that?

Shan

This is what I'm saying!

Ben

Let me tell you, Petty's been demanding this BL for like four years.

Shan

It's true.

NiNi

I think we are actually getting a boxing BL next year.

Ben

We are. [everyone laughs]

Onto our next award. It's time to award our Trash Fave of the year.

NiNi, please describe the award.

NiNi

Trash Fave is basically my favorite award. I cannot defend any of these shows, but I had such a good fucking time with them.

Shan

Our Trash Fave winner of the year is Gym Affairs from, wait for it, China! Did you all know that China put out a real modern BL with kissing on screen in it this year? Well, they did, and it's called Gym Affairs, and it's winning the Trash Fave award because, listen. This show is not a quality production. It was clearly filmed on some iPhones with just whatever guys they could find around. But you know what? I respect it because it had a narrative, it had a clear story, and they are doing what they can in China to get these queer stories out, one way or another.

Ben

It really spoke to guerrilla filmmaking, like they just really popped up somewhere, filmed what they needed to and got the fuck out of there.

Shan

And it's a cute little show. It goes quick. Watch it on YouTube, it's free. It's a fast binge. It's charming. The actors are cute. It's a good time. We can't really call it a good show because the production quality is so low, but it's a fave. All of our friends who have seen it had a great time watching it. You should join in.

(Transcript note: The show has since been pulled from YouTube.)

Ben

Our other two shows for consideration were Kidnap and OMG!Vampire. [NiNi laughs]

NiNi

Yup.

Shan

O-M-G Exclamation Point Vampire.

NiNi

I was gonna say that y'all have very different definitions of trash than I do because even though I haven't seen Gym Affairs yet, from what I've heard about it, it is not trash it is just produced on a shoestring. Whereas Kidnap was actual trash.

Shan

Yeah, Kidnap is super trashy. Like, trashy in the sense of, like, pulp novels.

NiNi

It's called Kidnap, but there's only half a kidnapping, maybe.

Shan

Did anyone actually get kidnapped in Kidnap? That was a Gaga joke.

Ben

This show was so stupid.

NiNi

At one point the guy kidnapped himself. Like, there was a lot going on.

Ben

This show was so stupid that I got bored with Ohm Pawat, and was like I can’t do this anymore.

Shan

I could only sustain myself by looking at Ohm's arms for so long.

NiNi

This is what makes it my Trash Fave. I watched it till the very end because my favorite two things were in it, Ohm Pawat and being babygirl.

Shan

You know what I think this is, NiNi? I think it's like when you open the trash can and you look inside, you sometimes find, like, this gem of a thing that someone threw in the trash. And that's what Gym Affairs is. And Kidnap is all the actual nasty, dirty trash around it.

NiN

Ohm, we love you on this podcast, sir. We love you so much and that's all we're gonna say.

Shan

Free Ohm from this trash. That's what I want to say.

Ben

We love you, even though all of Tumblr celebrated your character getting shot again, just like a few weeks ago.

Shan

And I don't think any of us actually watched OMG!Vampire.

Ben

Our friends loved it. They had a great time with Lee and Frank's final show together.

Shan

Several of our friends submitted it and they had a great time watching it. They highly recommend it if you're into vampires that are, apparently, very bad at being vampires. [NiNi laughs] You know, you should check that out if that's your thing.

Ben

Onto my favorite award, it's time to award the BEST BOY!

NiNi

The Namgoong Best Boy Award, which I promise I'm gonna watch Light On Me this year. I promise, I promise.

Ben

NiNi, I swear to God.

All right. Shan, I'm putting this in my resolutions at the end of this. If NiNi does not watch Light On Me, we are not doing this show next year. [NiNi laughs] I've had enough. I have a list of shows that are non-negotiable for the next awards show. Light On Me and Rainbow Prince.

NiNi

Okay, I will. I absolutely will.

Ben

You will watch them. There will be no more arguing about this!

NiNi

Okay, we're not arguing. It was never an argument. It's just more kind of, it always gets pushed down to the bottom of the list, but I promise you this year, bestie, this year.

Ben

Namgoong is the best boy and is the reason why we have this award. And this year, the award for Best Boy who did everything he could for the gays goes to Yai from The Sign. [air horn]

Congratulations, sir. We loved everything about you. We loved your arms. We loved your heart. We loved your wife.

Shan

Mostly loved the wife the most.

NiNi

I definitely had a lot to say about those arms. I'm sorry, I'm spacing out thinking about them now.

Shan

This award is for the best supporting male friend who is all about helping the couple get together.

Ben

He was so great. Good job, Yai.

NiNi

Yai absolutely did that.

Ben

What a mess of a show, but you had a clear throughline.

NiNi

I just loved him saying, “Where were you discussing the problem? The bed or the sofa?” I think that was one of my favorite lines.

Shan

He was mischievous.

Ben

Other boys in consideration were Ryoga from I Became the Main Role of a BL Drama for his feathers and his support of his friends by tricking them into having a date and also telling Akafuji he was aggravating and then giving him useful advice.

Shan

He was a real one. He was helpful.

NiNi

He was the realest.

Ben

Our last boy is Ryosuke from The Fragrance You Inherit, a last minute addition to this list.

Shan

The drama did technically end right before the end of 2024. Ryosuke is the lead’s, Sakura, of the show, he's her bestie. He's been supporting her since college. He's the person who knows her and who props her up through all the hard things in her life, including her gay disappointment, her crushed, unrequited love, and parenting her son who is a perfect angel boy. He's there for it all. He is there to help her out. We love him.

Ben

He is also played by Takeda Kouhei.

Shan

He sure is! Looking excellent. Sir, I salute you.

Ben

If you don't know who that is, you better ask somebody.

Shan

You better not come ask me, because I'll get mad at you.

Ben

On to my second favorite award. The Yiwha Best Girl Award!

NiNi

Yiwha! We love her over here!

Ben

I absolutely love Yiwha. I love that that show, all these years later, spawned the best girl and worst girls award. The Best Girl, like the Best Boy, goes to the girl who supports the boys the right way and is there for them and willing to scrap for them.

NiNi, please hand out the award to our Best Girl.

NiNi

Best Girl for 2024 is Lukpeach from Knock Knock Boys!. [air horn] All she wanted in life was to spread good information about sexual health and behavioral practices, to support her boys and to write non-creepy fan fiction about them. I salute you, Miss Mama. You are the best.

Shan

Yes, support her in all her endeavors.

Ben

She was a great character. I really like her as part of the evolution of the shipper character. I'm okay with them finding a way to write girls that really love gay boys and want them to have a good time without it being creepy.

Beyond Lukpeach, we also had Jane from Knock Knock Boys!, Ju from Century of Love, and Pai from Cherry Magic Thailand on this list.

I liked Pai a lot and she was a strong contender for this award, particularly because she stole a motorcycle to make sure those boys had the scene they needed to have. And then she left. She explicitly said, “That scene is for them. I got what I needed. I know my boys are going to make this happen.”

Shan

Pai was great at knowing the line between supporting and inserting herself where she didn't belong, and she never crossed the line.

Ben

What a great character. This was a pretty decent year for fujo characters in the genre. That is one of the positive things I can say about this year in terms of trope-related stuff.

We have introduced a new award this year.

Shan

What exciting stuff.

Ben

I'm gonna let you award this one, Shan. This is our Bridesmaid Award. This goes to…

Shan

Hyunho from Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo. [air horn] Oh, I love it. This award is for the second leads. The character that can never win, but that still manages to make you kind of want them to and who makes you sympathetic for them when they inevitably lose. I think Hyunho was the platonic ideal of the kdrama second lead in Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo. He is definitely a deserving winner of this Bridesmaid Award.

Ben

Our other two people in consideration were Sangwon for Love for Love's Sake, because he got into a whole fight for the gays and then got mad that they kept asking him for help for the rest of the show. And Kurosawa from Ossan's Love Returns, because this man has not won five times now. Incredible.

Shan

He will always be the Bridesmaid eternally. But yeah, this is really Korea's category to lose, because this is what they do. Second leads are specifically a Korean trope.

NiNi

Good job, Korea.

Ben

We are once again awarding our favorite version of BGP!

Shan

Ben, remind the people what BGP means.

Ben

BGP is a term that we got from Bump Up Business, a terrible BL from the boys of OnlyOneOf, a Korean kpop group whose entire business model is pretending to be gay, and they made a whole show about idols who had to work together in a what they called a business gay performance to sell records, and wanted us to pretend that it was a real romance. Absolutely insane behavior. The audacity!

Shan

I can't believe this show happened.

NiNi

I'm sorry! “Is our business gay performance over before it began?” [everyone laughs]

Ben

Oh my god!

NiNi

I watched that entire show specifically because they told me that line was in it.

Ben

She, NiNi was like, Shan and Ben are just cackling. This has to be ridiculous if the two of them have completely lost composure over it. And she was not let down.

We love the term BGP because it's about the performance of the relationship for consumption. Shan, please announce our winners.

Shan

This year's BGP award goes to Daou and Offroad, the only potential winners of our hearts.

NiNi

I have to agree, there wasn't even a question. This was definitely Daou and Offroad’s to lose this year because, sir, the performance is performance-ing.

Ben

They got a really solid outing with Century of Love despite everything that we now know was happening on that set and around that production. And they have continued to make their music and handle their performances, and they're coming to America this year. That's a huge deal.

Shan

They have a fan meet in the United States that is already sold out. These boys are making moves.

Ben

I'm very excited for them. Also up for consideration were Chris Chiu, aka Modi, and Kurt Huang for Unknown the series, because they went way hard on their Taiwanese BGP. Tumblr may not have been paying that much attention to it, but those boys were working very hard. And of course, we're going to acknowledge Yin and War, who got a whole show financed on BGP alone.

NiNi

That is impressive.

Shan

Pretty impressive.

Ben

All right, our final award, our most fun award. We are handing out the Blorbo of the Year Award. This is for the character that took over your brain and you just could not let them go. Every time someone tried to take it from you, you just bit down harder and shook.

Shan

Ben, would you like to announce the winner?

Ben

The winner of the Blorbo of the Year award goes to Go Young from Love in the Big City. [air horn] What a great year for us and that character.

NiNi and Shan in unison

He is the moment. [all laugh]

NiNi

Oh my gosh, I can't get it out of my head. You owe me a coke.

Ben

Yeah, it's gotta be a coke because you guys can't have any more drinks after Friday night. [laughs]

NiNi

Oh my god, no more, no more, no more drinks, no more.

Shan

Keep it, keep it to soda, non-alcoholic. Nope.

Ben

Go Young was so important to us. He is one of the most dynamic and complicated queer characters we got to experience this year. I am so thankful that despite all of the drama, we were able to get Nam Yoon Su and friends’ version of these characters. My goodness.

Shan

I feel unbelievably blessed that they got an actor of Nam Yoon Su’s caliber to play him in the drama. I never in my wildest dreams could have expected that.

NiNi

And he put his neck, his back, his pussy, and his crack into that.

Shan

Holy shit. Me and NiNi are kdrama watchers. We have seen him in other work. He transformed himself for this role. It was impressive shit.

Ben

Our runner up, who we had a great deal of discussion about and who almost won this award until like five minutes before this recording, was Dynamite from Cooking Crush, another complicated queer character with a ton of heart that we deeply loved. I've been thinking about this boy all year.

Shan

As often is the case when a character you love is misunderstood by others, it makes you love them even more fiercely. That definitely came up with Dynamite.

Ben

A lot of you don't watch anime, but Twig and I were not gonna let this go unremarked. We wanted to acknowledge Hisashi from Twilight Out of Focus, along with Shion, who was my favorite boy from that show. I love that pink Twig so much! He said, I'm going to high school and I'm gonna get me a motherfucking boyfriend. And he did.

Shan

The pink twink!

Ben

I love that pink twink so much! He said, I'm going to high school and I'm gonna get me a motherfucking boyfriend. And he did.

Shan

He did. He did it all.

NiNi

Good job, anime twink. I think there is a missing person here. I can't believe that Ben left this one out considering how he started the year. Aoyanagi Hajime?

Ben

He's not on my Blorbo list. I think about that boy a lot. But does he take over my whole soul like these boys? He does not.

NiNi

Mmm, interesting.

Ben

I admire him deeply, and I think Nachika did a great job with him, but they're getting the sequel, so. It ain't over yet! [laughs]

Shan

We'll get to talk about him again.

NiNi

We're gonna talk about them in 2024 and 2025. Fantastic.

Ben

I'm winning. I might not see Go Young ever again, but I'ma see my boy again this year. A win for me.

NiNi

Excellent, good job.

Congratulations to the winners of all of our fan awards and our runners-up. These are not VIIBs so you do not get a plate but we will figure out something, I don't know.

Ben

I'm gonna send you a cup.

Shan

Souvenir mug!

NiNi

At least it's not a koozie. A koozie is just disrespectful. We discussed this before.

Ben

I know that if we sent Gap Jakarin a mug that said Best Boy, he would absolutely show it on the IG.

Shan

He totally would and he’d pose with it!

NiNi

I believe that. 100% he would totally do it. Maybe, maybe he would even put it next to his bicep.

Shan

Maybe we should consider sending it.

[Ben laughs]

NiNi

And I would have a plotz moment. He's large, people, you know how I feel about the large ones.

00:55:49 QL Resolutions

Ben

It's time for our QL resolutions. Shan has pulled up the record on the things we said we would do for this year. It's time for the call-outs. We'll start with me.

Shan, proceed.

Shan

All right, so Ben stated a couple resolutions last year. His kind of not that serious one was he said he will watch 100 shows in 2024. And his second, which he was more serious about, is that he would be backing off of shows when he's getting aggravated with them sooner than he used to and just being more willing to stop watching shows.

So Ben, you've definitely failed the first goal, but I think you did good on the second one.

Ben

I did great. I engaged with 75 Asian QLs this year, but I dropped 26.

Shan

That's big for you. That was a big mental wall that you had to move through this year and you did a great job, bestie.

NiNi

Four for you again, Glen Coco. Four for you.

[Ben laughs]

Shan

Are you feeling better now that you started backing off shows you're not liking?

Ben

Honestly, yeah, I feel way better that I'm recognizing when a show is irritating me and I'm not forcing myself to watch it for this weird sense of ego. Like, “It's really important that I say something about this.” I don't care anymore. Who cares? It sucks. I'm not writing about this.

The core of what I want to do is, I want to convince uninitiated BL viewers to watch BL. There is no value for me in watching a show that I despise or just isn't working for me, because I'm not using it as a reference to try and get people who might like BL to watch BL. I'm not gonna ask them to watch a mid-tier BL. So it gets dropped.

Shan

All right, NiNi, in January, 2024, you said your resolution for the year was that you were gonna stop picking on New Siwaj. Let's check in on that, how you feeling?

NiNi

I definitely had a great time with a New Siwaj show this year and talked about it on the show. These resolutions do have power so you gotta be real careful when you make them. I won't say entirely that I have stopped picking on New Siwaj. I'm still gonna pick on him if he deserves it. But I liked something that he did this year.

Ben

Don't worry. He definitely deserves it.

Shan

But you found something nice to say about him this year. You did.

NiNi

I did find nice things to say about him this year. So I think that I have kept that resolution.

Shan

We did great this year guys, because my resolution from last year was to be more aware of when I'm getting no joy out of a show and cut it off and not feel bad about not finishing it. And I did that this year. I also got better at not starting shows I didn't think I was going to like. And I think that that was a good and healthy choice and I'm glad that I did it because as we've been talking about, the genre just keeps getting bigger. There are so many shows. We can't watch everything and we can't make ourselves miserable trying to force ourselves to watch the things we're not enjoying.

I'm real proud of us. I think we did good on our resolutions this year.

NiNi

Excellent, good job. So let's look ahead. What are the resolutions that we're all making this year 2025?

Ben?

Ben

I have no fucking idea. What should I do?

Shan

Do you have something about how you wanna write or how you wanna engage on Tumblr?

Ben

I'm probably going to focus on writing more reviews this year. I stopped doing Stray Thoughts but I don't want to stop writing about things I loved. I think I'm gonna push myself to write more reviews and stuff. I think I'm going to start writing on Tumblr more about Western stuff. I think I'm going to start writing more reviews about more generalized queer work that I'm engaged with. That'll probably be my thing this year, writing more thoughtful pieces about work after it's done instead of yapping about it in real time.

NiNi

Okay, Shan, how about you? What are you resolving to do this year?

Shan

I was thinking about this a bit. I think there's a couple things on my mind. I want to continue quitting shows if I'm really just getting no joy out of them. I want to continue being more selective about what I start in the first place. Another thing I've been doing more of lately that I think is working for me and that I want to continue is waiting to binge shows that I suspect I will not enjoy very much week to week. For me, it makes a real difference how I watch a show, because if I'm watching weekly and participating in a weekly discussion, I'm going to naturally think more about the show, I'm gonna dig into it more. And when these shows are kind of weak or mediocre, I'm spending an awful lot of time thinking about what isn't working. So, I'm trying to identify those shows where I just can tell I'm gonna have a better time if I get it over with quick instead of stretching it out.

I also wanna stay committed to continuing to have variety in my media diet. I want to continue to watch things outside of QL, want to be better about continuing to mix in Western shows here and there. If you just watch too much of the same thing all the time, you really lose perspective. So I wanna be attentive to that this year and make sure I'm changing it up.

Ben

You heard it here, friends. Shan is joining me in watching over 200 movies a year!

NiNi

I'm not sure that's exactly what she said, bestie. [laughs]

Ben

She said she wants to mix it up! I got a great Indonesian film for you to watch.

Shan

I will say this. This is my big gap. I just don't watch many movies. I like long-form stories.

Ben

Mm-mm. I’m challenging you, Shan. It's not like I hate movies. You’re gonna watch some movies with me, Shan. I watched a great Chinese film from 2015 last night!

Shan

Ben’s resolution is to force Shan to watch movies. I don’t hate movies. They just don't fill my soul the same way, you know? They're just here and gone so quick.

NiNi

Yeah, if I really love something, I definitely need to sit in it for a while. So I am definitely more on the long-form storytelling side of things, as well.

Ben

A great film just stays with you forever. All right, we're starting with Ghost Dog.

Shan

All right, you can make your list. NiNi, what’s yours?

NiNi

My resolution this year is to finally watch some of the shit I have been meaning to watch. My watch lists keep growing and growing and growing and I need to put some time and effort into actually watching some of this shit. Some of it because Ben is going to stop talking to me if I don't watch it. And we can't have that.

Ben

It's true! I'm glad you recognized that that is a real outcome!

NiNi

There's definitely some things that are on the list I gotta get past. I think I've finally gotten past the uncanny valley effect so that I can watch Light On Me. And I'm gonna watch Eternal Yesterday. Finally, I am gonna watch Rainbow Prince.

Shan

I forgot you haven't watched Eternal Yesterday?!

Ben

I haven’t!

Shan

Oh my god.

NiNi

To be fair to me, I do not think that is the thing for me to have watched when I was in the mental state that I was in for most of last year.

Shan

It's very true. You need to wait for the right moment, but I'm excited for you to watch it.

NiNi

I am looking forward now that I'm feeling mentally better to getting into some of the things that I have meant to watch, but just not been able to hit play on. Like I said, these resolutions have power, so It's definitely happening this year.

Ben

I'm excited. My resolution is to torment Shan into watching movies. That's great. I feel good about this one.

Shan

He's getting revenge because I have forced him to like kdramas and he's mad.

NiNi

You have gotten Ben to watch kdramas, cdramas.

Ben

I have watched Goblin, I watched The Rebel Princess. What else did you fucking force me to watch? School 2013. That is like 6,000 hours of TV. You owe me a few movies.

Shan

I sure did! School 2013. He's starting Healer again. Listen, the truth is that Ben likes the kdramas. He hates that he likes them, but he likes them.

Ben

They're just so fucking long. I just spent two hours on a fucking episode of a kdrama. I could have watched one of my fucking movies during this time.

NiNi

Speaking of movies, y’all have got to watch Paradise of Thorns as soon as you're able.

Shan

As soon as it's out.

Ben

I believe it becomes available very soon after we finish recording this.

Shan

Yeah, I'm excited to watch that one. And I still need to watch How to Make Millions When Grandma Dies.

NiNi

Have you not watched that yet?

Shan

No, it was only on New York screens for like a few days and I didn't make it during.

Ben

We have literally not had access in the US, girl! Like this, it's one of those things where like I've been intentionally waiting because we know it's coming to American distro.

NiNi

It's on that Oscar shortlist, so it's definitely coming.

Shan

Yeah, we need it. It's gonna come for sure. It'll be in theaters and I'll go watch it.

01:04:45 - Affirmations and Hopes for the Future

Ben

Okay, affirmations for the year. Things that we really liked that we would like to see more of. Number one, Kongthup Productions. Good job this year, guys.

Shan

We love them.

NiNi

We do. This is the studio that produced Knock Knock Boys!, Monster Next Door. There was a GL.

Ben

Apple My Love.

NiNi

Apple My Love, yeah.

Ben

They have been a really fun breath of fresh air in the genre this year, and I really hope that whoever is having fun funding them is getting returns so that they can keep doing that.

Shan

They are out here producing original scripts that are interesting and that have things to say.

Ben

Next, despite how much I deeply despised My Love Mix Up Thailand, I would like to continue to see more of these cross-country collaborations. There were a lot of interesting results we got from that this year. We got Unknown the series out of it. We got Love in the Air: Koi No Yokan.

Shan

I loved it.

Ben

We got Cherry Magic Thailand. And we got a couple of interesting projects where it was kind of funded in both places. Like Eccentric Romance, Meet You at the Blossom, Battle of the Writers. There may have been Chinese money involved in that one.

NiNi

There definitely was.

Ben

It's very interesting seeing these sort of cross-cultural collaborations. And even within the countries, Oxin Films and, what is the other group's name? They teamed up and made Haunted Hearts. It wasn't good, but they worked with someone else.

Shan

I'm interested in these productions adapting works from other countries in these kind of joint funding models. Love in the Air Koi was great because the MeMindY team was deeply involved in that production and there was a lot of cross marketing. They had actors from the original Love in the Air Thailand cameo on the Japanese show. It was cool to see that kind of cooperation going on.

Ben

Lastly, and we say this every year, more GLs. There needs to be way more lesbians in this genre than there are.

Shan

And we need to give them good stories.

NiNi

And even though there was a ramp up this year, because there was actually quite a bit of GL this year, I can't point to one GL that I saw or was truly that interested in this year that really hooked me.

Ben

She Loves to Cook happened this year.

NiNi

I mean, yes, yes, okay. She Loves to Cook, She Loves to Eat, but that goes in the category, the same category as What Did You Eat Yesterday? It's eternal, it's everlasting.

Ben

I'm sorry, you didn't think Chaser Game W changed the face of the game?

NiNi

No.

Shan

There were a lot of GLs this year, but most of them had, like, really terrible writing. What's wild to me, and this has been a really interesting thing that we've started seeing in the recent months. These shows, even when they're not very good in terms of the quality of the story, they're really popular because the fans are so thirsty for this content. The QL viewership wants GL and these studios need to put some real resources behind making these shows and making them good because there is a lot of potential there.

NiNi

I think GL's kind of following the trajectory that BL followed, which is a shame because BL sort of set the trajectory already, so they could have shortcutted all of that.

Shan

Can we not just skip to the good content part?

Ben

Well, they did try to make GL SOTUS, so hang in there, girls. [everyone laughs]

That's going to end it for us. We will see you all in the coming weeks as we make our way through the VIIB Awards. I'm very excited.

NiNi

And a little super special little treat for you before we get to the VIIBs, which I will not spoil but it's gonna be fun.

That is going to wrap us up on our Year In Review. Oh my god guys, another year. This is our third Year In Review.

Ben

My goodness.

NiNi

Absolutely wild. This is our 50-something episode. We're getting up to 60. We're about to be retirees up in here. We love it.

See you guys next time, we out. Say bye to the people, Shan.

Shan

Bye people!

NiNi

Say bye to the people, Ben.

Ben

Peace!

#ben and nini's conversations #podcast #the conversation #on art #lgbtq #bl series #thai bl #winter series #japanese bl #taiwanese bl #korean bl #filipino bl #Spotify

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vibratingskull · 23 days ago

Text

Yandere Thrawn x F!reader chapter 15

Yandere AU - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14

Tags : Yandere behaviors (duh), obsession, memories chapter, poison

“Hum... Sir?”

Thrawn turned his head from the holographic projections of his meditation room, focused on his reflections. “Yes, Senior Captain (F/n)?” He asked. “I come to you about your latest strategy you presented us for the Pirates of the region.”, “Is something bothering you perhaps?” He turned his head back to the projection mentally reviewing your profile in his head.

(Y/n) (F/n), (age), Senior Captain and former student of the Imperial Academy. This is your first post on the Chimaera.

Very decent record, successful missions all around, obedient and respectably competent, you had a lot of potential but were more of a crude rock than a chiseled diamond yet. You newly arrived on his ship and he couldn’t really say he knew you like Karyn Faro or Hammerly yet, he needed to study your profile in depth and put your skills to the test to know what you were truly made of.

“No, I mean yes. A bit.” You pressed your datapad to your chest in a self-soothing motion. You were embarrassed to bother your Grand Admiral in his special chamber for something you judged might be inconsequential.

“Speak your mind.” He cut the holos, turning to face you, hands clasped behind his back. You gulped, looking at the screen of the pad before looking back at him.

You were shorter than him like 99% of the population, but you evidently trained in the gym and dojo of the ISD. You were not lacking charms, this could obtain you good information in an intelligence career, maybe he should help orient you in this direction if your intelligence passes the tests.

“I just wanted to make sure you were aware of the soon-applicable A49BK directive in the region.” You asked in one breath.

Politics

You came to talk to him about Politic, his greatest foe. He internally sighed before responding, “No, I am not aware of that directive.”. You nodded, “I thought so, I have a cousin working for the local government and she loves to vent to me, I learned about that new directive not long ago and I think we could take advantage of it in battle.” You tapped on your screen and his own datapad let off a little ‘ping’. He grabbed it to discover a lengthy text about atmospheric gasses and heavy metals market laws and political negotiations already giving him headaches. “I shall look at it, Lieutenant.”

Well, this will be a sleepless night again spent trying to understand political intents...

“I, huh...” you started before shutting up. “Yes?” He invited. “I made you a summary where I highlighted the most interesting aspect and what we should pay attention to.” You let him know, “I know those texts take a lot of time to read.”

He squinted at you, understanding that you knew. Somehow you picked up on his ineptitude in politics and acted in consequence while having the grace and tact to pretend it was for gaining time and not because of his incompetence.

You would go far with that attitude if only you were a little bit more assertive! He noted that point of interest in a corner of his well-organized mind.

“Ah, yes.” He almost chuckled but allowed himself a tight grin, “I thank you for your consideration of my time, Lieutenant.” He nodded approvingly. “It is quite precious for all of us.” You nodded again, “Well I won’t bother you much Grand Admiral, if you allow me I will take my leave.” You took a step back.

“Lieutenant.” He called you back. ”Yes?” You asked, a bit worried you failed in etiquette or something, “The summary.”, “The...? Oh! Sorry.” You immediately typed and sent him your own conclusions on the lengthy text with an embarrassed chuckle

Your face turned bright red in his infrared vision

“Thank you, Lieutenant (F/n). I wish you a pleasant night.”, “You t- I mean thank you Grand Admiral, I wish you the same.” You stood to attention and walked away, your steps resonating in the deafening silence of the meditation chamber.

Thrawn remained still, observing the closed door you just went through for one second more before returning to his art pieces.

Senior Captain (Y/n) (F/n).

(Y/n)...

He remembered you catching his attention when you entered the Chimaera.

He needed to look a bit closer at you, he thought to himself, maybe something could come of your talents...

--------------

Thrawn walked into the ballroom with hidden... Weariness. Galas... Parties filled to the brim with politicians and snakes. Sutble political maneuvers and traps all around, ready for him to trip and fall... No matter how hard he tried he could never grasp the concept of those traps and tactics, rendering him as defenseless as a snow starling on the ground. What was he even doing here?

"Do you remember our target, Senior Captain (F/n)?" He whispered in his earpiece. "Perfectly!" You responded. He mentally nodded, approving of your attitude. Motivated while remaining discreet and focused.

He observed the room full of people, all the colors, the sounds, the smells, the faces, the masks, taking in all of these pieces of information and classifying the data in his mind, searching for your target.

A renegade Senator sided with the Rebellion. Intelligence said that they were cruising the different projects of the Empire as a patron to send the information to the Rebels and may or may not have participated in some recent assassinations of officers and parliamentarians. Tarkin came to the conclusion that Thrawn with his Tie defender project and his inaptitude in politics would make for the perfect bait.

Thrawn agreed. For a split second, he suspected Tarkin hoped for him to act out at what was practically an insult to his rank, but the facts are the facts, he is a newbie in politics with a large project for the Empire: he was the perfect victim for the renegade, or renegades?

Thrawn had the suspicion they could be a whole group to cover each other’s traces. How would they have evaded the ISB agents until now if they did not?

Thrawn chose his team carefully and obviously, he chose you. He wanted to test you as a fresh new Lieutenant and assert your skills once and for all, maybe you would finally leave his mind and leave him in peace once he knew who he had in front of him.

Because you were haunting him... Something he did not understand and that worried him. Why should he worry about you? Why were you at the forefront of his mind as soon as he woke up? Why was he searching for your face each time he entered a room?

Why would you not leave him in peace, to his tactics and arts?

Why would you make his heart beat faster when he entered your vicinity? He had the occasion to speak a bit with you, you were intelligent and charming, but he did not notice an innate talent he could help carve into a diamond of excellence.

You were good, but simply average, as a lot of other people were. This is not a bad thing in itself, any genius needs an executant under them and ships are full of good officers who are also average in other ways.

So why? Why are you taking more and more place in his mind? He must have noticed something about you! He must have! Since he met you you were constantly in the periphery of his mind, simply in a backseat, but since you came to give him that summary things took a drastic turn.

That summary was excellent, it helped him grasp some of the most difficult concepts of that new law that were written only to benefit the Senators of the region. The planet was full of a native magnetic metal highly sensible to the percentage of acid in the atmosphere a full-on battle could modify. This rare metal was the new prized possession of Director Krennic for the Death star project and Thrawn would have ended up in trouble if you did not bring it to his attention in time. He had to dig deep to find those mines because the Empire was secretly mining this world dry out of its resources but Thrawn also chose this planet as a trap for his next campaign against the rebels.

Thrawn knew that if something happened to those mines or this metal, he would get

executed by the Emperor, plain and simple.

So he modified his plan accordingly, your alertness allowing him to avoid a complete fiasco and simply save his life. He could plan for no ship to crash on the mines at the planet's surface, but the excessive use of the Empire's arsenal would modify the acid percentage in the atmosphere and corrupt the precious metal.

Without you, all his plans would have been for nothing and he would have lost everything for good because of another imperial secret kept from him.

He came to think about you a lot lately, wandering what was your opinions on various subjects and his tactics

His... personhood

But why?

Why should he worry about your opinion of his personhood? You were a Lieutenant Commander and him a Grand Admiral, the roles were clear cut, you were here to obey and carry his orders and he was here to lead. Your repsective opinions of each other should not matter in the slightest as your loyalty to the empire should prevail everything else!

But he sometimes wanted to ask your opinion still. He could not help but gently smile at you when you came back successful from a mission, complimenting your success or simply gazing fondly at you from afar.

This was so out of character for him, he felt... Vulnerable in your presence. Like you could shoot him down with your gaze...

He felt his heartbeat quickening with your gaze on him, goosebumps appearing on his skin when he caught a glimpse of you...

This was so new, this was thrilling but also highly concerning!

He could not let one individual take over his mind like that, he must strengthen his resolve even more !

He shook his head internally as he advanced into the ballroom, his glass of champagne strategically half empty, observing the faces around him. He did not have to search for long, as the renegade came by themself to him, enticed by the juicy prey he represented with an affable smile and words of pleasantries. They kept serving him more alcohol, surely in the hope of making him drunk and spilling his secrets or assassinating him

A chance Chiss' organisms are way stronger than humans'

“Lieutenant, they are inviting me to the gardens behind the buildings." He warned

discreetly. "This is a secluded area, Sir. This is dangerous, I'll come right away." You promised in a breath. "I'll warn the rest of the team patrolling the building."

Thrawn followed the renegade with apparent detachment but very cautious of each of there movements. When the renegade offered him to take the lead to enter the rose garden, Thrawn knew they would try something

You were simply quicker in that instant

"SIR!" He heard when he passed by the Senator, followed by hurried steps in heels. When Thrawn spun around toward his enemy you were already on them, trying to make them let go of a syringe destined to him. He lost no time and joined the conflict, but not in time.

To not have to fight you both at the same time, they jabbed you instead. Entangled in your dress and heels you could not evade in time and yelped in pain as the needle pierced your skin.

You staggered backward as Thrawn reached the Senator to enter a physical struggle with them, hearing the rest of the team sprinting to reach you. With a powerful punch, Thrawn sent them to the ground for good. After handcuffing them he turned to you, discovering you lying on the ground, inert, as your general body heat was starting to fall down.

"She needs medical attention quickly, the syringe was full of poison." The medic he

chose declared, already initiating CPR

Thrawn remained still, silent

In shock

You were poisoned? You... Could die? For a reason beyond him, Thrawn felt immensely powerless and guilty. He failed to protect you like a Grand Admiral should, like a Chiss should

Like he should

Strangely, he felt like he was observing himself observing the situation, still like a statue, mute like a fish.

Disoriented

Useless

Angry

You will not die

He refused categorically! He has yet to find why you were haunting him like that, you cannot invite yourself into his mind and disappear the first chance you get leaving him behind confused.

He will not allow it! As long as your mystery remained uncovered, he would not allow you to leave him like that!

You risked your life to save him, he must do everything in his power to save you.

He can't lose you like that! He can't lose you!

Why did he feel like that was still unknown to him, he just knew that is life would be for the worse if you disappeared

He won't allow you to leave him behind

He forbids you

-------------------------------------------------------

Thrawn opens his eyes in the dark bedroom, wondering why he just woke up. He hears you whine in his arms, surely a prey to another nightmare of your tormentors.

He tenderly smiles as he hugs you tighter, pressing your body tight against his taller, broader one with delight. You seem to calm down in his embrace, your nervous whimpers subsiding to silence until he can only hear your deep appeased breath.

He sighs of satisfaction, simply happy to sleep in the same bed as you, to have you in his arms tonight again

Almost like a couple

He snuggles against you with glee, pressing his nose in your hair to inhale your delicious

scent

Simply happy

@bluechiss @blueninjablade3 @thrawnspetgoose @twilekchiss @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @obbicrystaleo @leo4242564@davesrightshoe @holylonelyponyeatingmacaroni @lilyalone @princesslunamoon19 @janjtje

#thrawn #grand admiral thrawn #mitth'raw'nuruodo #thrawn x you #thrawn x reader #thrawn x f!reader #yandere au #thrawn x y/n #star wars x reader #star wars #fanfic #vibratingskull

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heart-of-ep · 2 months ago

Text

Elvis: Through Her Lens (Chapter Three)

(Elvis Presley × OC Reader)

Character/Fandom: Elvis Presley

Read More Here: Elvis: Through Her Lens - Click here!

Prompt: You are Minnie Jones, an aspiring photographer working for the LA Sentinel. Your chief editor is looking for a story that will help boost the popularity of the paper, so an opportunity comes knocking when Colonel Tom Parker approaches him with a new 'snowjob.' After a tentative first meeting with the Colonel, and his star Elvis Presley, you are hired on to follow Elvis around as his personal photographer in an attempt to catch lightening in a bottle twice with the earlier success of the Alfred Wertheimer photos. Along the way, you develop a close bond with Elvis, leading to complications in your relationship when the issues of his marriage and eventual drug usage start to put a strain on your relationship. Constantly fighting your ever-growing feelings for him, you are swept up into the whirlwind of Elvis' world which forces you to see the King of Rock 'n' Roll through a new lens.

Tags: Slow burn. Angst. Drama. Friends to lovers (sort of).

TW: None. Cussing?

Rating: PG-13 (ish) (may get spicy but won't be explicit as I don't enjoy writing smut lol but cursing, possible violence, and infidelity will appear throughout the story)

Word Count: 5.6k

Author's Note: Alright yall, things are starting to kick off with this chapter, and I'm very excited about it. It's quite a bit longer than the previous two chapters so I hope you enjoy!

I have to say, I had a blast researching the Houston Astrodome cause 1970 is a major hyperfixation for me, and I actually learned a lot while looking up all the info for this chapter (and the next 👀) so I'm just gonna be living vicariously through Minnie. 🤭

I apologize in advance for the slow burn nature of this fic, but I promise things will get spicy/angsty soon! ♡

Elvis at the Houston Airport for a press conference on February 25th, 1970.

After reviewing the contract with you, and making sure you were absolutely sure that you still wanted to do it, Pierce had you sign it, hesitating to sign it himself. He was more than a little skeptical of Colonel Tom Parker, which you couldn’t necessarily blame him for. You did your best to reassure him once the two of you left the Hillcrest home.

“Don’t worry, Pierce. The Colonel might be a bit…strange, but Elvis seems interested in the project.” You told him as he drove you back to the office to collect your camera and film before heading home to pack.

“I just can’t put my finger on it, Minn. He just rubs me the wrong way.” Pierce frowned before sighing. “But I suppose Elvis seems nice enough. Though, I wouldn’t fall for his charm. He’s had a fair few scandals involving women he works with.” He pointed out.

You rolled your eyes. “I’m not worried about Elvis Presley seducing me. For one, he’s married.” You reminded him.

“Yeah, ‘cause that’s stopped people in the past.” He said sarcastically.

“Pierce, I’ll be fine. I’ve been around my fair share of charming men, it doesn’t mean I’ll fall for it.” You said, though you secretly knew that Elvis was very different from any other man you’d ever met.

Different and very beautiful.

You shoved the intrusive thought from your mind, refusing to let yourself get hung up on how good looking he was. You weren’t about to be one of many other women who fell for the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll. After all, you were there to do a job, and you weren’t going to get distracted along the way.

Once you collected your things from the office, you quickly drove back to your apartment to get your clothes packed. Elvis would be in Houston for at least a week for the Astrodome shows and any of its corresponding press conferences, so you needed to figure out everything to take. And you weren’t familiar with Houston weather which presented a problem of its own. After a while of debating what to bring, you decided to call up your girlfriend, Vivien to get her advice, and quite frankly you just needed someone to talk to about all of this.

“Elvis Presley?!” Vivien practically squealed, causing you to pull the phone away from your ear.

“Yes, Elvis Presley.” You said, rolling your eyes as you lifted your suitcase up onto your bed.

“Wait, hold on, Minn. You can’t be serious. I mean, you’re kidding, right?” She asked, sounding skeptical now instead of excited.

You frowned a bit. “Why would I be lying, Viv? Look, it's not a big deal.” You paused for a moment. “Well, it is sort of a big deal, but it’s just a job. A very exciting job, but a job nonetheless.” You explained.

“Just a job? Minn, are you sure you’re not high right now?”

“Very funny.” You rolled your eyes again. “I know it’s a lot, and I am excited, but I have to keep a leveled head about all of this. I don’t think Elvis wants another screaming girl bothering him.” You pointed out.

“Hm…I suppose you’re right, but this is still a huge deal! God, do you know how much I’ve dreamed about meeting Elvis?” She groaned. “Tell me, does he look just as good in person?” She asked curiously.

You hesitated for a moment, thinking back to those beautiful blue eyes of his, his soft pouty lips, and that full spirited laugh that made you feel warm inside…you quickly snapped out of your daze before the thought could go any further. “I uh…I didn’t really notice.” You mumbled.

“Sure you didn’t.” You could just hear the smile on her lips.

You sighed. “Can we focus? I have no idea what I’m supposed to wear. Business or casual?”

“Well, you’re not exactly going into the office.” She pointed out. “Besides, you’ll be traveling with Elvis Presley. You have to pack in style.”

You wanted to tell her that it was silly to dress to specifically impress Elvis, but you figured everyone in his company (especially the women) dressed to fit in with his style. You recalled seeing a few photos of Elvis with Priscilla in the paper and remembered how pretty and stylish she looked. But you quickly reminded yourself that you were working as his photographer, nothing else.

“So when are you leaving?” Vivien asked as you pulled out a coat from your closet, the only coat you owned, and folded it up neatly into your suitcase.

“Tomorrow.” You sighed. “Pierce is losing his shit, you know. He thinks this whole thing is going to end up exploding in our face because of that manager, Colonel Parker.” You shook your head as you sat down on the edge of your bed.

“Pierce always has a stick up his ass.” She reminded you. “Besides, you’ve done celebrity pieces before this. I can’t imagine this will be any different. That is unless you plan on sleeping with him.”

“Viv!” You shot back before shaking your head. “I’m starting to think that telling you about all of this was a bad idea.” You muttered.

“Oh, trust me it wasn’t a bad idea. And you’re going to keep me updated on all of this.” She said as a matter of fact.

You frowned a bit, but realized she was probably right. It’s not like you could talk to Pierce about any of it. You glanced at the clock, sighing when you noticed how late it was already. “Thanks, Viv. I’ll call you once I get settled in at the hotel.”

“Just try and have fun, Minn. I know it’s your job, but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

You nodded a bit and smiled. “Yeah, I’ll try. I’ll talk to you later.” You said before hanging up the phone. You sighed and looked over at your suitcase before pushing yourself to finish packing the rest of your clothes, placing your extra packs of film on top.

You had no idea what to expect when you showed up at the airport tomorrow, but you knew it would be the beginning of something new and exciting.

~*~*~

When you showed up at LAX in the morning, after Pierce picked you up from your apartment, you could hardly contain your excitement. “Just think about it, Pierce. We’re going to have photos that no other paper in the world will have. The LA Sentinel will practically fly off the shelves.” You grinned.

“It better, or there won’t be an LA Sentinel.” Pierce muttered. “Just keep your head on straight. And don’t let this Presley fellow distract you.”

You rolled your eyes. “Pierce, you act like I’m just going to bend over the moment I see him.” You shot back. “Elvis Presley might be the world’s biggest flirt, but all I care about is getting the perfect picture.”

“I suppose. I guess if any woman can reject his advances it would be you.” He smirked a bit.

You slapped his arm playfully, smiling again as he parked the car on the private hanger that the Colonel had directed you to meet them at. You were surprised to find out that Elvis didn’t have a private jet, even Frank SInatra had that, but that didn’t stop him from being able to borrow one to fly him and his whole crew to whatever city he needed them in. You looked up at the jet as you stepped out of the car, ignoring the general nerves that attacked you every time you had to fly somewhere, and instead focused on the excitement of the whole situation.

You immediately noticed a couple cars already parked and waiting around the jet, a handful of men that you assumed worked for Elvis standing around waiting for him to arrive while someone loaded the luggage onto the plane. Pierce pulled your suitcase out of the trunk and walked with you over to the group, his gaze immediately searching for any sign of Elvis or the Colonel.

“I don’t think it would be such a bad thing if that Colonel got left behind.” Pierce muttered, and you jabbed him in the ribs, an amused smile crossing your face. You almost wished he was tagging along so you wouldn’t be going completely solo, but you knew you didn’t have much choice. The chief editor couldn’t exactly leave the office for a week. “Looks like Presley has six shows lined up in Houston, so you’re going to be pretty busy, Minn. Remember, we need to get photos that no one else will have.” He reminded me.

You nodded. “I know. Don’t worry, I won’t let you down.” You smiled confidently.

He nodded and cracked a small smile. “I know you won’t.” He said before clapping me on the shoulder. “Keep your head on straight. Remember, a reporter trusts no one.” You nodded, though you didn’t exactly take that too close to heart. Unlike an official reporter, a photographer was meant to get close to their subject.

You turned your gaze away from Pierce and surveyed the group of men, immediately recognizing a couple of them from Elvis’ house. Charlie, the shorter fellow, was standing around laughing and talking with the other guys and standing close to one of the Cadillacs was an aging gentleman with grey hair and a small mustache. You didn’t recall seeing him at the house, nor did he seem to fit in with the other guys, which struck you as curious.

You only looked away when you heard a car pulling up behind you, glancing back to see the white Cadillac from yesterday coming to a stop. You immediately felt your heart leap in your chest (for some inexplicable reason) and quickly stood up a bit straighter as you clutched the handle of your suitcase. After a moment, the door to the car opened and first stepped out the Colonel, much to Pierce’s dismay, and then the other door opened and out stepped Elvis, glowing and smiling just as he had the day before.

The first thing you noticed was his attire, as it was incredibly different from what he had on the first time you met him. Unlike before, this outfit was anything but casual, and it much more accurately represented the stylish and over the top nature of Elvis’ more recent wardrobe from the International. He wore an all white, karate gi inspired ensemble, with a bright red ruched shirt underneath and around his neck, much like his stage wear, he wore a printed scarf that hid his exposed chest underneath. A karate style belt hung low around his waist, tied at his hip in a knot, pulling the whole outfit together with the clear inspiration. It was really unlike anything you had seen someone wear before, but you resisted the urge to snap a photo too quickly.

When you looked up at Elvis, you noticed he looked a bit more tired than he had yesterday, dark circles under his eyes and a bit of sweat on his brow. You casted him a concerned look, but he smiled through how unwell he seemed and walked over to where you were standing. “Hey, Minnie Mouse.”

You rolled your eyes. “Hello, Elvis.” You said as you shook his outstretched hand before looking at the Colonel as he hobbled up behind him, one of those comical cigars sticking out of his mouth as he approached Mr Pierce to discuss something with him in private. When you looked back at Elvis, he was still staring at you, sending a shiver running down your back. “Um…I’ve never been to Houston before.” You said in an attempt to break the ice.

“I’ve been all over Texas.” He said as he directed me toward the stairs leading up into the plane where the rest of his group was waiting. “I think you’ll like it.” He reassured me.

You glanced back at Pierce, catching his gaze for a moment before you looked forward and smiled as Elvis began introducing you to the different guys. “This is Minnie Jones. She’s a photographer that’s going to be accompanying us on the trip to Houston.” He explained before gesturing to the men. “You met Charlie already at the house. This is Red and Sonny, they work as my bodyguards. Joe, he’s my road manager. Gee Gee, Jerry, and Cliff, they help keep everything running smoothly. And this is Lamar, he’s my lighting technician and a general pain in my ass.” Elvis said, laughing a bit at his own joke, though Lamar didn’t necessarily seem amused. “And this is my father.” He added as he gestured at the older man you had noticed earlier. Now that they were standing next to each other, they looked very similar.

You awkwardly waved hello, doing your best not to seem completely out of place. “I know all of you are probably used to a bit more privacy, but just pretend I’m not even here. That’s what most politicians do before I snap a real embarrassing photo.” You said jokingly.

Elvis laughed out loud, and soon the guys were laughing too (something you noted as interesting) before he just looked at you and smiled. “She’s funny isn't she? Don’t worry, Minnie Mouse. You’ll fit right in.”

You felt a little more at ease, nodding as you followed Elvis up the steps onto the plane, the guys following behind as they carried yours and the rest of his luggage on board. Elvis moved along to his seat towards the back of the plane, and quickly made sure to keep up, clutching tightly onto the strap of your camera bag.

“Have you flown before, honey?” Elvis suddenly asked as he leaned his hand against the carry-on cubbies overhead, looking down at you curiously.

You nodded a bit and looked away, unable to meet his piercing blue gaze. “A few times, yeah. Though it doesn’t really get any less scary.” You admitted before opening your camera bag. “You don’t mind, do you?” You asked, trying to be courteous regardless of why you were there.

He smirked a bit. “That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?” He teased you before he slipped down into his chair, crossing his leg over the other as he looked out the window.

You watched him for a moment as he leaned on his elbow, chewing on his fingernails as his leg bounced up and down in what seemed to be a nervous tick. You checked to make sure there was film in your camera before raising the lens to snap a photo, smiling a bit at just how human he looked. “Does everyone know that the king of rock ‘n’ roll bites his nails?” You asked as you sat down next to him.

He snorted, turning his gaze back toward you. “There’s a lot of things people don’t know about me.” He said vaguely.

You raised an eyebrow at him before sighing. “I bite my nails, too.” You said after a moment. “Bad habit I’ve had since I was a kid.” You shrugged as you showed him your nails.

He viewed your hand, chuckling a bit before he held out his own hand. “I guess we have at least one thing in common, Minnie Mouse.” He smirked a bit.

You smiled, already feeling less nervous. Something about being so close to him just made the unease inside of you disappear. You raised your camera again, snapping another photo of just his hand before you took the opportunity to look at the rings that decorated his fingers. A beautiful golden ring sat over his pinky finger, engraved with an intricate embossing and set with a glimmering black sapphire gem while another gold ring in the shape of a lion head sat next to it on his other finger. Dangling across his wrist hung an ID bracelet (once more in gold) with his name encrusted in diamonds along the band, somehow looking perfectly sensible on him and not at all gaudy.

You looked away when you suddenly felt the plane start to move, your nerves instantly returning as you grabbed hold of the arm rest instinctively. You chewed on your lower lip as you sunk back into your seat, but then you felt something warm settle over your hand. You looked down, swallowing a bit when you saw Elvis’ hand now resting softly over yours, the cold metal of his rings grazing over the top of your fingers.

“It’s okay, honey. As long as I’m here, nothin’ bad will happen.” He said, and from the look in his eyes, you believed him. You believed he could somehow control the weather and ensure a safe flight all the way to Houston. You ignored the flutter in your chest and the way his touch sent electricity running up your arm, and instead just focused on the warmth of his hand as the plane took off, suddenly feeling a lot less terrified.

The rest of the flight ended up being rather uneventful, and once you were up in the air, Elvis had let go of your hand and went to chat with the other guys about the upcoming shows and the press conference planned for later that day. You were glad for the space, unsure of how to feel about the weird feeling he had left you with, and focused on snapping some photos from your seat. It surprised you to see how relaxed he seemed, even with a camera around. You assumed he was probably used to it by now.

When you arrived in Houston, you could practically see the excitement radiating off of Elvis as he found his way back to his seat. “You alright, honey?” He asked as the pilot started to descend for landing.

You nodded, thankful for his presence next to you as you rested your hands on the arm rests. “What about you? This is your first time performing outside of Vegas isn’t it?”

He sighed, glancing out the window at the city below. “Yeah, it is.” He pursed his lips. “I’m not sure what to expect.” He admitted. “What if nobody shows up? Vegas is a helluva lot different.”

“You’re Elvis Presley. People will show up.” You said as a matter of fact. “Besides, I’m pretty excited to see what you’ve got up your sleeve.” You teased him.

He relaxed a little, smiling as he looked at you. “Thank you, Minnie Mouse.” He said before once again holding your hand as the plane hit a few bumps in the air.

Once the plane finally landed, you were happy to have your feet firmly on the ground and breathing some fresh air that didn’t smell of Elvis’ musky cologne, which you definitely didn’t notice while sitting with him. You followed him down onto the tarmac, and from a distance you could see a large group of fans that had already gathered nearby at the small terminal in an attempt to see Elvis up close and personal.

“I thought we were going somewhere, man.” He said with a grin as he waved at them before his bodyguards led him toward the airport terminal with his father, Vernon, and the Colonel following closely behind.

Waiting inside the airport were several reporters and photographers from different news outlets where a press conference was set up. You stood off to the side, watching as Elvis sat down at a table to answer their questions. He did it with ease, and it quickly dawned on you how natural he was at speaking, despite his stutter and the nervous way that he coughed and joked through some of his responses. It was charming and instantly made him feel a lot more personable.

Once he finished, he snapped a few photos with the Mayor who had come to welcome him to Houston before he was whisked off to a car waiting out front to take him to the hotel. The Colonel and Vernon accompanied the two of you with one of the guys driving while the rest took a separate vehicle. On the ride there, you tried not to pay attention to the way the Colonel seemed to be watching you like a hawk, squirming a little in your seat at the heavy air that hung in the car. During the flight you noticed just how little Elvis seemed to talk to his manager. Whenever you overheard a conversation between them, it was always about business, and even now, Elvis made no attempt to start a conversation.

Needless to say, you were thankful when you were finally able to check-in at the hotel, already exhausted from the day of travel. Elvis made sure everyone got a room a floor down from his penthouse suite to make things easier, but when you took your hotel key and started walking toward the elevator, you felt Elvis’ hand around your wrist.

“Wait up, Minnie Mouse.” He directed his smile down at you as he flicked his wrist at Charlie. “Charlie, take her luggage up to her room.” He said, his gaze fixated on you. “It ain’t too late yet. Why don’t you come up to my room?”

You swallowed, the invitation feeling far too intimate, even if you logically knew it didn’t mean anything. For some reason, though, the look in his eyes sent a shiver down your back, his fingers still softly gripping your wrist as he waited for a response.

“Well, honey?” He asked softly.

Damn it, Minn. Just say no.

You stared at him for a long moment. “Sure.” You heard yourself say, barely even recognizing your own voice.

Jesus Christ, this is a huge mistake.

You weren’t entirely sure what had come over you, or why you decided to say yes, but before you could even process what was happening, you were standing in the middle of Elvis’ lavish suite while he sent one of his guys to grab the two of you dinner from downstairs. You didn’t hear what he ordered, but right now you couldn’t exactly focus on anything, least of all food. You folded your arms across your chest, chewing on your nails as you instantly thought of everything that could possibly go wrong.

Calm down. He’s just having dinner with you.

Logic told you that you were probably right, but you weren’t about to forget who it was that had invited you upstairs for dinner. You remembered what Pierce had said about his reputation, causing you to pace a little as you waited near the sofa. He was probably just being courteous, and knowing Elvis, he couldn’t exactly go downstairs and have dinner in public without causing a commotion. But the lack of anyone else being present in his suite made you worry that this was just his way of trying to make a move on you, his marriage be damned.

You glanced across the room, watching as Charlie left the room to go pick up the food before Elvis shut the door behind him. In that moment, you resolved to keep your chin up and not allow his charm to instantly disarm you.

He’s just a man. A very beautiful and charming man, but just a man.

When he turned your way and walked over, his long strides closed the space between you in seconds, leaving you a bit flustered when he suddenly stopped in front of you. “You can sit down if you want, honey.” He said, gesturing to the sofa.

You glanced at the lush piece of furniture and simply shook your head. “I’m okay. I’m still a bit stiff from the flight.” You said as you folded your arms. “What did you order?” You asked after a moment.

He smiled. “Steak. It seems to be the only good thing they’ve got on the menu.” He said before sinking down onto the sofa and crossing his leg over the other. “You seem nervous, honey.” He noted, looking me up and down with one sweep of those brilliant blue eyes.

You frowned a bit. “Well, a married man invited me up to his suite for dinner, alone. Most women might be a bit nervous.” You pointed out.

His expression shifted a little. “Miss Jones…I-I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.” He said, suddenly the southern gentleman you had met a couple days prior. “It’s not exactly easy for me to find privacy outside of my room. I just thought this would give us an opportunity to talk a bit more.” He explained.

You felt yourself blush a little out of embarrassment, realizing you had definitely miscalculated his intentions. “Oh…I’m sorry, Elvis. I just thought…” You trailed off, quickly shaking your head before you decided to sit down next to him on the sofa. “I guess I’m not used to men having manners.” You smirked a bit.

He chuckled, glad to see you relax a little. “You’re a smart girl, Minnie Mouse.”

You smiled a little. “You must be excited.” You said, deciding to change the subject. “Everyone seemed pretty amped up at the press conference.”

He nodded. “This is the make or break moment, honey. If these shows fail…” He whistled as he made a downward motion with his hand. “Fourteen years shot to hell.”

You furrowed your brow a bit. “Why do you think they’d fail?” You hadn’t seen Elvis perform live, but you also knew that he was an absolute powerhouse. After all, this man was able to captivate audiences all over America for more than a decade through the silver screen. And the NBC TV Special was a raving success. You remembered Vivien forcing you to sit down and watch it with her when it aired. Needless to say, you couldn’t picture him failing at anything.

You watched his brow furrow a bit, as if he was contemplating what to say. “What if I just can’t bring it in like I used to?” He finally said, shaking his head as his leg started to bounce up and down in that little nervous tick of his. “There’s a lot of folks out there listenin’ to all kinds of music now. What if I just can’t shake it anymore?” He looked at you, surprising you a little with the vulnerability in his eyes.

You bit your lip for a second before sighing as you reached over and touched his hand. “Elvis, I can’t sit here and tell you what will happen, but I do know that you’re one of the most loved and adored stars in the world. I mean, my best friend just about fainted when I told her I was going to be working with you.” You smiled at him. “Trust me, you can still bring it in. Besides, I know I’m pretty excited to see my first Elvis Presley show.”

He seemed to relax a little, a boyish smile crossing his lips. “I’ll make sure I give you one hell of a performance.” He winked.

You laughed a little before looking over your shoulder when you heard a knock at the door followed by Charlie walking in. “That must be the food.”

“Better be a damn good steak. I’m starvin’.” He grinned before getting up and walking over to see the food that had been brought back.

Once we had our food and gotten the chance to eat, the rest of the night went by like a blur. You found yourself talking to him about the most mundane things, whether it be your frustration of being stuck taking photos of politicians, or the fact that living alone in LA definitely wasn’t all it cracked up to be. He listened to everything you had to say, his focus solely on you the entire time. You couldn’t recall ever having a man give you so much attention, as if you were the only thing in the world that mattered. It left you with this strange feeling that you didn’t really want to acknowledge yet.

Elvis also opened up about his life, giving you the background of how he started out in Tupelo and then moved to Memphis as a teen before eventually beginning his rise to fame at Sun Studios. The way he recounted it felt like he was explaining something that had just happened yesterday, and he really seemed proud over his earlier success during the fifties. It was only when he began talking about his movies that his tone soured. He didn’t completely dismiss them, admitting that even his movies had fans, but he knew that he was capable of doing more. He wanted to do more. But he didn’t linger on the topic, deciding once again to speak about something he was proud of as he brought up his success with the NBC TV Special and his debut in Las Vegas.

“I missed the contact with a live audience.” He explained. “The electricity you get from performing in front of an audience…it’s like nothin’ else.” He said as he sat back against the cushions of the sofa.

You smiled as you curled up on the other end of the sofa, folding your knees up against your chest as you watched him. There was a glimmer of excitement that twinkled in his eyes whenever he talked about his music or performing. You could tell he loved it, and you knew he just wanted to give his fans the best that he had. It was so earnest and so real, something you hadn’t really experienced with any other celebrity that you had met.

“Well, I have a feeling you’ll blow their socks off.” You teased him before reaching over and grabbing your camera off the table. You raised the lens, snapping a photo of that little smile on his lips before he made a funny face for the camera and you snapped a photo of that too. “I think that one is worthy of the front page.” You giggled.

“Nah, honey, second page at best.” He smirked, but the smile slowly fell from his lips and he regarded you with a long look that took you off guard. “Can I ask you somethin’?”

You bit your lip before nodding. “Of course.” You sat up a little straighter.

He looked you up and down, his blue eyes surveying you carefully as he leaned his cheek against his fist, his other hand drumming its fingers against his knee. “You said you weren’t really a fan before, so why did ya take the job? Ain’t a photographer supposed to feel passionate about their subject?” He asked curiously.

His question struck you as odd, but you figured he probably did have a point. And the more you thought about it, you weren’t sure why you had been so drawn toward saying yes. Aside from the obvious reason for progressing your career, you had never really thought much about Elvis Presley prior to Pierce’s proposition. But something about him drew you in. You just knew that it wasn’t an opportunity that you could pass up.

You were silent for a long moment, and you could sense his growing impatience as his fingers started tapping faster against his leg. “I guess it just felt like the right thing to do.” You said quietly, looking down as you fiddled with your hands. “You changed the world, Elvis. I just figured it was time the world saw the real you, whatever that may be.” You shrugged.

Something flashed in his eyes, disappearing far too quickly for you to register what it was, before he laughed, running a hand through his hair as he looked away. “Damn, Minnie Mouse. Are ya sure you ain’t a poet or somethin’?”

You smiled as you relaxed a little. “I did ace English in high school.” You joked before you glanced at the clock and saw what time it was already. “Shit…it’s almost three in the morning!” You said as you quickly stood up. He looked up at you, clearly not seeing the issue in that. You hadn’t even realized how much time had passed, or how inappropriate it was that you were alone with a married man for several hours in the middle of the night.

“You’re not leavin’ are you?” He asked as he stood up, taking a step toward you.

You bit your lip before sighing. “Elvis, it’s late. We’ve both had a long day.” You said in an attempt to reason with him.

He pressed his lips together, but he relented and took a step back. “You're comin’ to rehearsals tomorrow.” It wasn't a question. “Just make sure you're ready, honey.” He said before leaning over and pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek.

You blushed, your heart skipping a beat as the sensation of his soft lips sent a shiver racing down your spine. “Don't worry, I won't miss it for the world.” You said quietly as you looked up at him before quickly stepping past and walking to the door.

“Goodnight, Minnie Mouse.” You heard him call from behind you. You paused at the door, looking back at him for a moment and smiling a bit as you caught the boyish grin that flashed across his face.

“Goodnight, Elvis.”

You weren't entirely sure how you even made it back to your room, feeling so deliriously tired, but also so…happy. It was a strange feeling, and you didn't really want to acknowledge the reason why you were feeling that way. But as you fell asleep in your plush bed, all you could see in your dreams was the warm smile on his lips or his ocean blue eyes that were deep enough to swim in.

Yes, you were certainly delirious.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

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cocogum · 2 months ago

Text

The Great Wave - Chapter 13 Review

‼️SPOILERS FOR THE CHAPTER‼️

We end up in a completely different place in the midde of...nowhere?

This floating rock is just chilling in the middle of the ocean, okay. Yeah that's fine. Just don't let any fishermen or adventurers notice you at all.

Oh! Maybe the reason why it's got nothing to worry about is because it's surrounded by a magic invisible barrier that doesn't let people outside notice it. Kinda like how Grougaloragran used the same method for Oma Island and how Phaerys used it at Yugo and Adamai's birthday party in the manga between season 2 and the ovas.

Uuuuhhh....

Uuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh......!!!

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHH!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

IS THAT DARDONDAKAL!?!?!?!

I thought seeing Grougalorasalar was going to be enough for the Great Wave, but apparently, we're having another primordial dragon here! Nice ✨️✨️

For those who don't know, this new guy is Dardondakal, one of the six primordial dragons of the World of Twelve, which means he's also Grougalorasalar's brother.

In case we might see the other primordial dragons, here's a helpful reminder that shows you each of their names, dragon forms, and which dofus they originated from.

(You have no idea how helpful this image helped me through the years whenever I had to remember one of their names for an explanation. Only Aguabrial's name was the easiest to remember, and now Grougalorasalar's name became just as easy too. I feel like when we get a proper introduction for each dragon, it tends to become a lot easier to remember their names.)

Dardondakal actually looks nice in his human form, but I don't know who the dragon he's worryingly looking at is. But it's definitely another one of Dardondakal and Grougalorasalar's primordial brothers though (man so many dragon names are tiring my tongue out why are they so complicated to write and say??) so I'm betting my money on Terrakourial for being that possibility.

Awww???

Dardondakal has beef with Julith lol

You'd think it'd be awkward to face the wife of your deceased guardian who had also gotten falsely accused of killing said guardian 🥰🥰 but nope Dardondakal at least knows the truth but he's still mad that she's here and almost beat his ass.

Yeah, Jahash (a bontarian huppermage and the past leader of Bonta's army) is Dardondakal's guardian. You gotta watch the Dofus movie for that.

Bro's just standing there not even looking 😭😭 Also what is up with everyone choking people in this manga?? First it's Amalia getting choked in a dream, then It's Aurora choking Amalia, and now it's Julith getting choked by Dardondakal.

Like damn, twelvian people really love necks.

Back in the last chapter, I was unsure if Julith was wearing clothes underneath her cloak but now that she's moving more, I can safely say that she won't catch hypothermia any soon. But it is weird that she's still isn't seen talking...Like what is up with that?

Also even though I never expected Dardondakal to have been much softer than I realized, it makes some sense. The Dofus movie depicted Dardondakal and Grougalorasalar as opposites in every way. Even their colors are the opposite of each other. So I guess acting like the opposite of your brother was planned ever since the movie.

Dardondakal almost getting his ass beat by Julith seriously makes me wonder what he might've thought of her and his own guardian getting married together.

Like he obviously doesn't like her in the slightest and thinks she's way too rough and barbaric so just imagine how he might've reacted when he saw her and Jahash getting married and having Joris lol

...oh yeah uhhhh...Don't go to Brakmar rn Julith....Toross fucked it up. I wonder if we'll ever see its state in upcoming chapters or even in season 5...

But even when Dardondakal doesn't agree with Grougalorasalar's methods, he's still stubborn and doesn't change his ideas even when his brother tells him that it's kinda messed up.

Do you realize how far gone he is with his plans when even one of his brothers can't get to him??

I seriously wonder how the encounter with Yugo could've gone out if Dardondakal had been there with Grougalorasalar.

Either Yugo would only attack Grougalorasalar, or there would've been NO POISON AT ALL.

But wait...if the belladone poison never happened, then Amalia wouldn't have kicked the two useless royal osamodas out...

Okay you know what? It's actually a good thing that it was only Grougalorasalar and Julith who came. Because they unknowingly made Amalia push herself to kick the useless turds away.

And while I'm still thinking about it, I don't think Dardondakal, despite being the softer one between him and his brother, could've kept his cool better than him. He literally lunged at Julith's neck for being the reason why so many lives lost. And she wasn't even the one who initiated the sacrifice! It was Grougalorasalar! AND BRO KNEW THAT!

Everyone's a hypocrite in this family 😍

But even when I thought that Grougalorasalar would've revived Julith to assist his fights, I never would've imagined that he would have brought her back for 'non-combat' reasons. Like what is that supposed to mean??

Julith was called the butcher of Brakmar for a reason because she literally perfects in fighting. So telling Dardondakal that that's not what she's here for makes me wonder if she won't be there to manipulate a certain little blue-cloaked guy....

Oh god....

Is this why we can see Joris in a later chapter cover???

Is that why Julith is even there? To make sure that Joris meets her once more and they talk one on one??? For what reason?? To bring him to her side??? In the Dofus movie, younger Joris was with her during some of the events transpiring and he had legitimately thought that she would be good for some time but NOPE!

Joris won't get fooled twice. He was a kid back then. The thought of seeing his mother once more will obviously shock him because he knows she died back then. But there's no way he'll willingly come to her side.

It's time like these where you know no one knows what the hell they're doing 🥰🥰

I do agree on one thing with Grougalorasalar in this chapter: even if you think your ways are brutal and forceful, you'll have to apply them with the utmost confidence. You cannot be seen doubting yourself or look soft when you act. It'll just make you look like a wimp and especially someone who doesn't know what they're doing.

Also uhhh....Is something happening to their other brothers? The dragon we saw in the beginning was clearly one of them, which is why Dardondakal was seen shedding a slight tear. This entire cavernous room might as well be that very same dragon's lair, and Dardondakal just came to visit.

Grougalorasalar....Clean whatever shit your bothers are in BEFORE dealing with Yugo.

Like that is basic knowledge 101. You HAVE to deal with your own problems before messing with other people's problems.

Everyone here should go to therapy at this point.

I wonder what Joris will think about all this.

#so many dragons yay 💕💕#dardondakal is like a hypocritical softie but he's still a softie #dude got jumped by julith and almost pissed himself #grougalorasalar's just chilling and being a hot daddy #wakfu #ankama #krosmoz #wakfu manga #the great wave #the great wave manga #wakfu the great wave #wakfu the great wave volume 2 #the great wave volume 2 #wakfu review #wakfu reviews

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scary-grace · 2 months ago

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Enough to Go By (Chapter 24) - a Shigaraki x f!Reader fic

Your best friend vanished on the same night his family was murdered, and even though the world forgot about him, you never did. When a chance encounter brings you back into contact with Shimura Tenko, you'll do anything to make sure you don't lose him again. Keep his secrets? Sure. Aid the League of Villains? Of course. Sacrifice everything? You would - but as the battle between the League of Villains and hero society unfolds, it becomes clear that everything is far more than you or anyone else imagined it would be. (cross-posted to Ao3)

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25

Chapter 24

Your phone is buzzing in your pocket, but you ignore it. You’ve set special ringtones for the important people, to let you know exactly who’s calling, and everybody important knows to call you rather than text if it’s urgent. Even if there was a phone call, you’d think twice about answering it today. The last quirk was transplanted into Tomura three weeks ago, and he’s been in stasis ever since. And this morning when you arrived at Jaku hospital to work on the bullets, the doctor informed you that he’s ready to wake Tomura up.

The doctor is anxious about it — he’s referred to Tomura more than once as his greatest achievement, his magnum opus — but you’re terrified. The instant Tomura opens his eyes, the clock will begin to tick, counting down the hours or minutes or seconds until the doctor realizes that the body theft he and All For One were trying to pull off didn’t work, or worked by half, or something. You’re not sure exactly how much the personality imprint of a copied quirk is reduced by. All you know is that if the doctor was confident that giving you a copy of Overhaul’s quirk wouldn’t influence your personality the same as the original, you can be confident that the same is true for a copy of All For One.

“Let’s review the procedure again,” the doctor says, and you nod, even though you’ve reviewed it twice already. “I will pass electric current through the fluid in the capsule, which will revive Shigaraki. After that, the fluid will drain from the capsule, the walls will retract, and he will be accessible to us. He is likely to be disoriented when he wakes, which means that the task of removing his rebreathing mask will fall to you rather than me. He’s less likely to kill you.”

You nod. “After he awakens and the mask has been removed, we’ll review the procedures he’s undergone and proceed to testing the efficacy of his new quirks,” the doctor continues. “Then the two of you may return to the Paranormal Liberation Front and begin the work of destroying this hero-saturated society.”

You nod again. The doctor studies you. “This is a great accomplishment, you know. You should be proud of the part you played in it.”

One part of it. “Yes, sir.”

“All right, then.” The doctor lifts the phone he’s been using to monitor the capsule and Tomura’s vitals, swipes past a few screens, and enters a command. “Wake up, Shigaraki Tomura!”

Of course he’d choose right now to act like a mad scientist. You catch yourself just in time to avoid rolling your eyes; you aren’t wearing your veil right now, and it’s not the kind of thing you want to get caught doing. At the doctor’s command, electricity charges the fluid inside the capsule, and Tomura’s body jerks, hands clenched into fists and back thrown into an impossible arch. It looks agonizing. It looks too much like he’s looked during the torture sessions of the last few months, even before his eyes open. The doctor enters another command, and the fluid levels begin to drop, followed by the walls of the capsule retracting. Tomura tries to get his feet under him as the fluid drains, but his legs give out, and he pitches sideways. You race forward to catch him, getting there just in time. “Tomura –”

He seizes you in an iron grip and holds on tight. He was strong before, but you were keeping track of each strength quirk as they were transplanted into him, and you know that there’s no breaking out of his hold if he doesn’t want to let you go. His shoulders are heaving. He’s trying to breathe, but the mask won’t allow it. You have one arm free, and you reach up behind his head, undoing the clasps holding it in place. It falls away, and Tomura sucks down one ragged breath, then another.

His voice is hoarse when he speaks. “Is it over?”

“The transplantation of quirks is over, my liege,” the doctor says. Tomura’s shoulders stiffen. “Your reign over this world is just beginning.”

Tomura draws back slightly, looks up at you. He looks weirded out, and it gets worse as the doctor comes closer. “How do you feel, Shigaraki?”

“Cold.” Tomura sinks back against you. He’s shivering.

“That’s to be expected. Saintess will get you cleaned up.” The doctor gives you a meaningful look. “Hurry. There’s much to do.”

You set out towels and clean clothes beforehand, but when you try to get to them, Tomura won’t let you go. “Don’t,” he says. “I feel — weird. What happened?”

“You’ve been in stasis for three weeks, my liege. Some adjustment is required.” The doctor’s being a hell of a lot nicer to Tomura than he’s been in the past, probably because he doesn’t think Tomura is Tomura anymore. “You can let go of Saintess. Her loyalty to you is absolute. There’s no question that she’ll return to you.”

Tomura loosens his grip on you reluctantly, and only long enough for you to pick up the towels and wrap one around his shoulders. His teeth are chattering as he pulls the towel tight, and you hurry to drape another one over his head. The doctor comes closer, opens his mouth, and Tomura speaks up without looking at him. “Leave.”

“My liege?”

“You have other things to do, don’t you? You promised me Nomus.”

“Of course,” the doctor says, scrambling. “I have several completed. Let me retrieve them.”

“Now.”

“Yes, my liege.” The doctor scurries off. As soon as he vanishes around the corner, Tomura kisses you.

It’s not a great kiss. The fluid he was submerged in during stasis tastes terrible, and drops of it have run down his face from his hair. His lips are cracked from three weeks of recycled air moving over them, splitting with the slightest pressure of his mouth against yours, and he’s shivering so badly that you’re at constant risk of catching a bite. Even so, it’s him. He’s awake, and for the first time in months, he’s not in agony — and he’s not angry with you for helping the doctor. Your eyes well up and you squeeze them shut. You don’t want to cry because you’re happy. He won’t understand.

But the person kissing you was someone else before he was Shigaraki Tomura, and he used to cry all the time. Tenko draws back, grinning that too-wide grin. “It worked,” he says, and you nod. “Do you want to kill him, or should I?”

A laugh startles out of you. “That was fast.”

“He wants stuff. I don’t give a shit about it.” Tenko doesn’t look like he gives a shit about much of anything at the moment. He’s wiping tears off your face with the corner of a towel. “We don’t need him anymore. We can do whatever we want to do. What do you want to do first?”

Now that you know he’s okay, that he’s still himself, what you really want is to curl up with him and take a nap. You can’t remember the last time you slept well. But there’s something you need to tell Tenko first, something important. “I did something,” you say.

“Overhaul’s bullets. You told me about those.” Tenko’s still grinning. “He had to torture a kid to make them and you figured it out on your own. How many did you get?”

“Lots,” you say, “but that’s not what I mean. I, um –”

“What?” Tenko looks a little closer at you, his brow furrowing. “What happened?”

You have to get this out fast, and you have to do it before the doctor gets back. “It’s about the quirk. All For One,” you say. “I –”

“My liege!” The doctor’s back, and you shut your mouth, shake your head when Tomura tells you keep talking. “I have six High End Nomus ready for your use. I’ve keyed them to your voice already, but a field test would be in order.”

You know about the High Ends. A few times the doctor’s left you in charge of supervising them post-transplant, and you hate it. No matter how many times someone reminds you that you aren’t quirkless anymore, you’re still acutely aware of the difference in power between yourself and everyone else — and it’s never more apparent than when you’re dealing with the High Ends. Tomura is nodding along to the idea of a field test, but once it’s tested, he floats an idea that makes the doctor’s jaw drop. “I want them to answer to the rest of the League, too.”

“What?”

“If they only answer to me, and some hero shuts me up, then we’re in trouble.” Tomura is squeezing stasis fluid out of his hair. He seems surprised by how long it’s gotten. “The League fights as a team. If one of us is out of commission, the rest need to be able to step in. Start with her.”

He gestures at you, and the doctor’s eyes narrow. “My authority over them has ceded to you, my liege. If you’d like the Nomu to answer to Saintess, give them the order.”

“You answer to me,” Tomura says to the Nomu. They nod. “Now you answer to her, too.”

He points at you. “You’ll need to use her name,” the doctor says. Tomura says your name. It feels odd to hear. It’s been a long time since someone used it. “There. Saintess, give an order.”

“Um –” You think about ordering them to kill the doctor, then chicken out. “Uh, say something.”

“Something,” they say in unison, and Tomura snorts.

He looks to the doctor next. “Bring the rest of the League here. Does that Nomu with the Warp quirk answer to me now, too?”

“Yes,” the doctor says, “but you shouldn’t need it. You were given a copy of the Warp quirk as well.”

Tomura glances at you, grins, and it kicks off a feeling you remember from forever ago. You aren’t proud a lot, and when you are, it’s not usually of yourself. But you were always proud when you came up with the perfect twist for one of yours and Tenko’s games, proud when you made him laugh, proud when the story you were telling let you save him and he was just as enthusiastic as he was all the times he got to save you. You did something right. You helped him. You get to be proud.

“Okay,” he says, “how do I do it?”

That’s your job, too. You scurry to his side, resolutely ignoring your phone buzzing in your pocket, bringing with you the binder where you’ve accumulated the fact sheets and diagrams for every quirk Tomura received. Warp lets Tomura bring people from a fixed point to his own location, and it requires a certain familiarity with the people in question. Something occurs to you as Tomura’s extending one hand, turning it this way and that. “Should we warn them?”

“No,” Tomura says. He’s smirking now. “They could use a surprise.”

The smirk fades and his brow furrows as he tries to activate the quirk, and you’re so busy watching him, reveling in the fact that he’s alive, that he’s awake, that he’s on his feet and not in pain and happy, that you don’t notice the doctor sneaking up on you. He taps your shoulder, scaring the hell out of you, then motions for you to lean down so he can speak in your ear. “Something has gone wrong.”

“He seems okay.” You play dumb for all you’re worth. “I know we haven’t tested all the quirks yet, but don’t you think –”

“He’s not taking this seriously. These are the actions of a child, not of the next All For One.”

You feel a surge of triumph. It worked. The doctor was expecting someone else when Tomura awoke. He was expecting All For One, and instead of inhabiting Tomura’s body, All For One is locked in a cell in Tartarus where he belongs. The doctor looks frustrated. Confused. What is he confused about? The only person who could have fucked things up this badly is the only other person who’s had access to the quirk database, to Tomura. Does he think you’re not capable of something like this? You’re more than a little concerned to realize that you feel insulted.

The doctor is pacing, musing to himself. “Perhaps he was deprived of oxygen at some point during the process. Prior to the transplantation of Super-Regeneration — but after All For One was transplanted. Or else I miscalculated the neural load of the quirks. If I had made such a mistake, then there would be evidence in the form of misapplied quirks, and — Shigaraki Tomura, how are you finding Warp?”

“It’s fine,” Tomura says, unconcerned. Five puddles of warp sludge are appearing in midair, hovering before him.

As you watch, the members of the League appear, coughing and gagging as they try to clear the sludge. None of them are facing in the right direction. Compress is wearing pajamas, and not wearing his mask. Toga’s hair is messy and so is Spinner’s, and Twice has the sleep version of his mask on, the one that leaves his mouth and nose uncovered. Tomura looks puzzled. “What time is it?”

“Uh –” You pull out your phone to check and see that your screen is covered in notifications from Mitsuko and Ryuhei. “It’s two am. Everybody must have been asleep.”

Asleep, or in a uniquely terrible situation to be warped out of — Dabi appears last, and appears naked. Tomura takes one look at him and starts wheezing with laughter. “What the fuck?” Dabi demands, and turns around. The fury evaporates into confusion at high speed. “What the hell?”

Tomura throws one of the used towels at him. It hits him in the chest and falls to the ground as the other League members turn to face Tomura as well, and eyes wide and jaws dropped. “Boss?” Twice ventures.

“I got the quirks,” Tomura says, and grins.

Out of everyone, Toga recovers the fastest. “Which quirks did you get, Tomura-kun? Let’s see!”

“You already know which ones,” Tomura says, but you can tell he’s excited to show off a little. “I got — let’s see –”

He crouches, then jumps upwards with enough force to shake the entire room, vanishing for the ceiling at high speed. You hear a muffled curse, and he drops back down hard enough to leave a crater in the floor. There’s a scrape on his head that vanishes a split second after you see it. “Air Walk and Super-Regeneration. That’s two.”

Spinner sidesteps Toga and Twice, headed straight for you. “What’s wrong with him?” he asks. “He’s, like — hyped.”

“There’s nothing wrong with him,” you say. “This is what he’s like.”

Spinner gives you a weird look. “Then what did you mean when you said –”

Your phone rings with Re-Destro’s ringtone, and you give Spinner an apologetic look before answering it. Re-Destro is already talking when you raise the phone to your ear. “— half the high command disappearing from their beds in the middle of the night is highly concerning no matter whose orders it occurs under! If the Grand Commander requires protection, why did you not summon –”

“Nothing’s gone wrong,” you say, cutting Re-Destro off. “Tomura’s awake.”

“Oh!” Re-Destro’s voice brightens up to an almost ridiculous degree. You hear him announce the news to someone nearby, and then his voice is right back in your ear. “When will he return?”

“We’re running tests to confirm that the quirks are all working properly. Then we’ll be back,” you say. “It shouldn’t be long.”

Re-Destro starts hemming and hawing about how he needs a more accurate deadline if you expect him to put together a proper reception for the Grand Commander’s return, and you cut him off as politely as possible, with mixed results. “I want to talk to the Grand Commander,” Re-Destro says. “Put him on the phone.”

You glance around for Tomura — Tomura won’t feel an ounce of guilt for hanging up on Re-Destro — but he’s nowhere to be found. Then an arm wraps around your waist from behind, and Tomura pulls you back against his chest as he lifts the phone out of your grasp with his other hand. “I’ll be back when I’m done,” he says, and you can hear Re-Destro stammering. “I want to eat something and I want a nap.”

That sounds perfect to you. You lean against him and listening to Re-Destro tripping over himself to order someone to change the sheets on Tomura’s bed. “What would you like to eat?”

“Sushi,” Compress calls from where he and Dabi are inspecting one of the Nomus.

“Ice cream!” Toga adds.

Twice has a request of his own, and so does Spinner, all of which Tomura relays. You know he doesn’t really have a favorite food, and finding him one is one of your projects for the new world. Tomura waits until Re-Destro’s sent who knows how many people scurrying off to make his requests a reality. Then he delivers a final one. “Cake.”

“Cake?” Re-Destro repeats, puzzled.

“Birthday cake,” Tomura clarifies. For a second you’re just as confused as Re-Destro is, trying to figure out if Tomura’s chosen a new birthday for himself. Then Tomura nudges your temple with his chin, and you glance up at him. “Do you still like the same kind?”

Your heart doesn’t lift, exactly. More like a lurch. “Wait, today’s your birthday?” Spinner asks, way too loudly. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“I forgot.”

“You forgot your own birthday?” Toga looks appalled. “That’s so sad.”

“Even if I had remembered, I wouldn’t have said anything. We haven’t celebrated anybody else’s birthdays, either.”

“It’s not too late,” Twice pipes up. “Mine was in May.”

“Mine was in August,” Spinner says.

“Mine, too.” Toga glances at Compress. “What about you, mister?”

“October.”

“I’m not telling you my birthday,” Dabi says, even though no one asked yet. “This is stupid. Shigaraki didn’t say his either.”

It’s quiet for a second. Tomura doesn’t say anything, and the answer comes to you in a bright, painful flash — he doesn’t remember. “It’s in April,” you say.

“You don’t remember your own birthdays but you remember each other’s?” Twice looks surprised. “That’s cute! It’s weird!”

Tomura doesn’t say anything. His grip around your waist tightens, and you cover his hand with yours. “Grand Commander?” Re-Destro ventures.

“Yeah.” Tomura’s voice sounds odd. He clears his throat. “We’re gonna need more than one cake.”

Your phone ends up getting passed from person to person, so everyone can put in their cake order. Dabi comes over just as Tomura’s regained custody of the phone, and when he reaches for it, Tomura holds it just out of reach. “Birthday first.”

“January,” Dabi growls, and snatches the phone. He orders some mix of flavors that shouldn’t go together, then shoves the phone back at you. He clearly has more to say, but he holds off until after Tomura’s hung up on Re-Destro. “You all are insane. You got unlimited power and the first thing you do with it is throw a birthday party for your girlfriend?”

“It’s for everybody,” Tomura says, unruffled. “What’s the point of unlimited power if you can’t do whatever you want with it?”

If you had been worried at all that your sabotage didn’t work, that All For One had taken some grip on Tomura through his copied quirk, this would be enough for you to let it go. You don’t doubt Tomura’s desire to tear down society or his hatred for heroes, don’t disbelieve the brainwashing All For One must have put him through — but at the same time, you think it’s telling that the first thing Tomura decided to do after waking up with enough power to destroy the known world was to throw a party for his friends. His friends. And you.

And if you needed more proof, all you’d have to do is look at the doctor’s face. His bafflement and frustration are written all over it. “Shigaraki, we still have tests to run. And if it’s still your intention to order the Nomus to respond to the others’ voices as well as yours –”

“It is.” Tomura’s arm tightens around your waist a final time, then loosens. “Let’s make it fast. We have a party to go to.”

The other transplanted quirks are in perfect working order, a fact which only seems to confuse the doctor further, and before the doctor can do anything more than make a few noises about wanting to run some more extensive tests, Tomura orders the Nomu to activate Warp and returns you all to the PLF headquarters. You’re not sure why he didn’t do it himself. Re-Destro’s gone overboard with the party, although given all the food and the six different varieties of cake the League ordered, it was already over the top to begin with. You get separated from Tomura in the minor chaos, and waylaid by Skeptic almost immediately. He announces himself by dropping your veil over your head from behind. “Keep that on,” he hisses at you, when you jump out of your skin and move immediately to yank it off. “The spy is somewhere nearby.”

“The spy?” you repeat. “You know who it is?”

“I share your suspicion and Spinner’s.” Skeptic glowers at you. “Don’t act so surprised. My loyalty is to Re-Destro, and through him, the Grand Commander. I have no intention of letting anyone else derail Re-Destro’s dream.”

Anyone else — because the League’s already done it. You add another name to your short list of uneasy allies, all bound together by separate loyalties — the doctor’s loyalty to All For One, Skeptic’s loyalty to Re-Destro, Spinner’s loyalty to the vision Tomura’s sworn to create. It’s a fragile web, one with gaps wide enough to see disaster through, if the doctor finds out what you did, if Skeptic and Re-Destro realize what Tomura really plans to do to the world, if Spinner’s win condition for the war to come changes. But you think it’ll hold together. Tomura can hold it together, and you can help him, just like you’ve done from the beginning.

You nod to Skeptic. “Thank you.”

“Your contact at the HPSC requires specifics to make a query, doesn’t he?” Skeptic doesn’t wait for your answer before he keeps talking, and you have barely a second to realize that the PLF knows who Kazuo is. “Since he can’t ask directly whether the individual in question is the spy, I’ve collected as many dates and times as I can. Give him those and tell him to narrow down what the spy was doing in those time periods.”

Dates and time-stamps should be more than specific enough. Skeptic air-drops the file to you and your phone buzzes in your pocket. You thank him again, glance around to confirm that Tomura is still in the room, and check your phone. There’s the file from Skeptic. There’s also a bunch of texts from your friends.

Mitsuru’s texted the old group chat, the one with Hirono’s and Sho’s numbers, asking if and when the group is having a party for you, and if he can bring his girlfriend. Ryuhei and Mitsuko are asking the same thing in a separate chat, and you have a text from Kazuo, too — happy birthday, plus a notification that your cousin Manami’s been released from jail, charges dropped. He’s got a few misspellings in the text, which is weird. Then again, it is four in the morning.

Tomura sneaks up on you while you’re asking Mitsuko and Ryuhei if one of them can track down Manami, who has absolutely nowhere to stay. He reads over your shoulder. “Your cousin’s out?” he asks. You nod. “Tell your friends to take her to your apartment if you still have it.”

You do. You’ve even been paying rent. It’s not the worst place for your cousin to crash. You send the message, and Ryuhei responds with a thumbs-up, followed by an eye emoji. “Good thinking.”

“Let me know when they’re there,” Tomura says. You twist in his arms, peering at him through the veil. “You should have all your friends at your birthday party.”

“I can’t believe you remembered my birthday.”

“Did you ever forget mine?”

“No.” You always got a little sadder in the first week of April, for reasons you never talked about with anyone. “I could never forget your birthday.”

“Then how come you think I’d forget yours?”

You don’t answer, but you don’t have to. Tomura knows why, and his gaze slides away from yours. “You think I forgot you,” he says. “I didn’t.”

Your mind is totally blank for a second, and a second is all it takes for someone else to swoop in. “Hey, you’re the Grand Commander!” Hawks is grinning as he alights next to you and Tomura. “Welcome back.”

Tomura reacts about how you’d expect him to react to the presence of the Number Two hero. “What are you doing here?”

“Saintess here didn’t tell you about me? I’m hurt.” Hawks slings an arm around your shoulders. “I guess you probably had other things on your mind, huh? You should see it, Grand Commander — Saintess and Spinner are the only ones around here who work harder than I do.”

“You?” Tomura scoffs. “What do you do?”

“Ah, Grand Commander! I see you’ve met our greatest asset.” Re-Destro rolls up in his wheelchair, beaming. “The Number Two hero has been using his platform to spread Liberation ideology far and wide. With every day that passes, more and more people grow sympathetic to our cause. It’s the sort of task only he can complete.”

Tomura’s lip curls. “I don’t need their sympathy. They’ll understand when I make them understand.”

“Hey, easy. I never said we’d get everybody,” Hawks says. “Trust me, Grand Commander — there are still plenty of people in need of a lesson that only you can give.”

He’s still leaning on you, arm around you, and suddenly you’re reminded of another moment, months ago — Overhaul, healing your hand, while Tomura couldn’t do anything but watch and seethe. You duck out carefully from under Hawks’s arm and stand clear. “Why do you care about this?” Tomura asks him. “The way the world works is a pretty sweet deal for you.”

“Just because it’s sweet doesn’t mean it can’t be sweeter,” Hawks says with a shrug. “The world order could use an update, and I’d rather be one of the people doing the updating. And speaking of updates –”

He leans close to Tomura, studying him. “How are those new quirks treating you? Dabi said you were getting the good stuff.”

Your stomach lurches with terror, followed by frustration. You and Spinner put a lot of work into making sure Hawks knew nothing about the quirks Tomura was getting. It turns out that instead of compulsively feather-checking yourselves, you should have been taping Dabi’s mouth shut. “I got the good stuff,” Tomura agrees, without adding any more detail than that. “If you’re waiting for me to put on a show, don’t hold your breath.”

Hawks laughs. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Grand Commander. I just wanted to introduce myself! I’ve been waiting a while to meet you.”

Tomura inclines his head, then turns his back. It’s the kind of dismissal Re-Destro’s gotten used to, based on how quickly he captures Hawks’s attention and steers him away. Tomura opens his mouth the instant Hawks is gone, but you raise a finger to his lips to quiet him. You’ve just spotted a small red feather resting on Tomura’s shoulder, almost hidden by his hair. You pick it off, resisting the urge to crush it, and hurry after Hawks. “Hang on,” you say. “You forgot this.”

“Thanks,” Hawks says. He’s still smiling, but his eyes are wary behind his visor. “Sorry to interrupt back there. You think he hates me?”

“It isn’t you,” Re-Destro says before you can say a word. “The Grand Commander is very protective of his disciples. Particularly her.”

You really wish he hadn’t said that. You hold the feather out for Hawks to take, then hurry back to Tomura as soon as it’s gone. Tomura’s already pissed. “That’s the spy,” he states.

“I think so,” you say. “My HPSC contact hasn’t been able to confirm it yet, but — me and Spinner both think so. And Skeptic –”

“I’ll kill him. And Dabi.” Tomura’s teeth are bared in a sharp smile. “Nobody who benefits from this bullshit system would ever help tear it down. How the hell did he fall for it?”

“Um –” You really don’t know how to say this in a way that won’t result in Tomura Decaying the entire villa just to get to them, and you fall back on a tried-and-true method. “Remember how we said Dabi just needed to get laid? According to Spinner, he, uh, did.”

Tomura stares at you. “And he apparently missed the memo about what we do with heroes,” you continue. Tomura’s mouth twitches. “All that work the rest of us put in making them unfuckable –”

Tomura’s mouth contorts. “This is serious.”

“It won’t stop being serious just because you laugh about it,” you say, and Tomura lets out a reluctant snicker. You come closer to him, hoping he’ll reach for you, and he doesn’t disappoint. “I was more worried about it before you woke up. You’re not as vulnerable now.”

“I’m the same kind of vulnerable all the time.” Tomura’s grip on you is tight. “You and Spinner and Skeptic are working on it?”

You nod. “We can’t move until we’re sure.”

“I’ll move once you’re sure. He’ll be happy — he can see my new quirks up close.” Tomura scoffs. “Heroes think they can go wherever they want, take whatever they want, ruin whatever they want. I can do that now, too.”

“You can do more than that,” you remind him. “That’s why you did this — so you can do whatever you want. And you got through it. I’m so proud of you.”

You’re proud of him, but it’s not just that you’re proud. You’re relieved. You never have to stand helplessly by and watch someone hurt him, forbidden from stopping them. There won’t be any more agonized screams, although the ones you heard will haunt you, are haunting you already. That part’s over. All that’s left is to win the war. You can’t wait for that part to be over, either.

“I want a lot of things,” Tomura says. “You never told me what you want.”

“Hmm?”

“I asked you one time. You just kept talking until I fell asleep,” Tomura says. You’re too surprised to respond. “How much stuff do you think I forget?”

So far since he woke up, you and Tomura haven’t been able to talk for longer than a few minutes without an interruption. This time it’s Toga. “Come on, Tomura-kun,” she says. “We can’t have cake without you!”

“We’re not done with this,” Tomura warns you. But he turns to Toga. “Fine. But Twice has to make a clone of me so we can see if the cakes are poisoned.”

Toga giggles. “They aren’t,” she says. “Spinner made Re-Destro try them all first.”

Tomura laughs at that. You decide, only a little grudgingly, that you forgive Spinner.

It’s almost noon by the time everyone splits up to get some rest. The only person who isn’t even slightly tired is Tomura. His earlier desire for a nap seems to have dissipated, but he follows along with you back to his rooms. You have a feeling you know where he’s going with this, and you’re half-right — as soon as the door shuts behind him, he’s all over you, and for a few minutes, you’re able to lose yourself in kissing him. But then Tenko pulls away and asks the goddamn question again. Or a variant on it. “Why won’t you tell me what you want?”

“Why are you so hung up on this?”

“Because.” Tenko picks you up with shocking ease and drops you on the bed, then climbs on after you. “You never say it. Everybody else says what they want all the time. But you never do. Not even when I ask.”

“I don’t want to be selfish.”

“Wanting stuff is selfish?” Tenko pushes you back down when you try to sit up. You don’t doubt he’d let you up if you asked, but you’re equally sure that he won’t let you up unless you tell him to. “Come on. I couldn’t give you stuff before, but I can now.”

He leans down to kiss you, and even as his lips split, you feel them heal instantly. “It’s your birthday. Tell me what you want.”

“You.”

Tenko rolls his eyes, but you see a hint of that too-wide smile on his face. “What else?”

“Let me think.”

“You said that last time,” Tenko complains. You push lightly at his shoulder and he lets you up — then lets you shove him over onto his back. “Why is this so –”

You cut him off by unzipping the jumpsuit he still hasn’t changed out of, pulling it open from his throat to his navel. Your hands slip inside almost of their own accord, too impatient to go slowly, needing to touch him and prove that he’s in one piece, that he’s all right. Even with Super-Regeneration, the scars he got before he received it are still present, including an enormous one in his abdomen where the vast majority of the equipment went in. You remember wrapping that wound, or draping it with clingfilm so it could be easily accessed for the next procedure, wishing the entire time that you could stitch it and bandage it and let it heal. Before you can stop yourself, you bow your head and kiss the scar.

Tenko’s abdomen flutters beneath your lips as he laughs. “What are you doing?”

“Something I want to do.” You kiss the scar again, and as you’re doing that, you catch sight of another one, a few inches to the right. That one could probably use a kiss, too.

Tenko’s laughing at first, clowning on you for trying to kiss it better when it’s already healed, but then he quiets down — and more importantly, he stays still, letting you examine each scar, running your fingers over them before applying a kiss. You peel him out of the jumpsuit one shoulder at a time, kissing his hands as he draws them from the sleeves, taking your time with each one. This is what you wanted to do, the first time the two of you fooled around — getting to know every inch of him, figuring out what makes him squirm, paying such attention that he can’t doubt how much you want him.

Tenko relaxes beneath you, even as his breathing catches. The single protest he puts up sounds distinctly obligatory. “It’s supposed to be your birthday.”

“I’m getting exactly what I want.” You look up and make eye contact. Tenko’s propped up on the pillows, watching you, his face flushed. The color darkens the longer you keep looking at him. “If you want me to stop –”

“No,” Tenko says immediately. “Don’t do that. It feels good.”

That’s what you wanted. When you bow your head again, it’s a struggle to stop smiling long enough to kiss him.

Tenko stays relaxed for the most part, at least until your lips brush the trail of dark hair leading from his navel to his groin. You follow it, with your mouth and your fingers, and you feel the muscles in his legs go tense. You touch the inside of his thigh through the jumpsuit, run your fingers over the seam, slide one hand up to his chest. Your fingers brush past one of his nipples and he startles. “Does that feel good?”

“No.” It sounds like Tenko’s speaking through gritted teeth, and his body tenses when you do it again. “Fuck –”

His legs shift apart, making more room for your hand, and you keep toying with him. You didn’t plan to tease him, and you don’t think you are — just taking your time, seeing if what he likes has changed at all, figuring out the best ways to wind him up. He’s hard beneath the jumpsuit, and when you trace over the outline of his cock, he lets out a gasp that makes your face flush. “Are you trying to make me come in my pants?”

You wouldn’t be opposed, exactly. “Do you want to come somewhere else?”

“You know where.” Tenko sits up and reaches for you, Decaying your clothes, then his, with two brushes of his fingers. “Here.”

His hand slips between your legs, and a grin crosses his face when he realizes how wet you are. He pulls you into his lap easily, like you don’t weigh anything at all, giving you mere seconds to help guide him before he pushes into you. It’s so sudden that you almost whimper, almost gasp, and Tenko freezes. “Did that –”

“No.” You cut him off in a kiss.

This is the position you and Tenko wind up in most often, but this time, it’s less that you’re riding him and more that he’s fucking you from below. You have so little control that you can’t communicate what you want by moving there, and eventually you lose access even to words. Tenko seems to like that, seems to like teasing different sounds out of you. He’s breathing hard, fighting for his own control, but his eyes never leave your face. There’s nothing you can do but look back.

You see it in Tenko’s eyes when pleasure shifts to desperation. His nails sink into your back, his grip tightens on your hip, and he loses control, coming so hard that you actually see his eyes roll back. You can’t fail to be pleased by that, but your whole body is tied in knots. You don’t like edging. You need him so badly that it almost hurts.

Tenko doesn’t apologize. He pulls out and flips you to your back with shaking hands, stopping for a quick, messy kiss before drawing away, dropping down until he’s sprawled between your legs, propping them over his shoulders one at a time. He came inside you thirty seconds ago, and now he wants to eat you out? “Tenko,” you protest. “That’s messy –”

“I don’t care.” Tenko is breathless, his voice rough. He speaks with his mouth buried in your hip, his hair tickling the insides of your thighs. “I want you.”

He’s never eaten you out before, and he’s picked the worst time to do it — and you feel like you’ll die if he stops. Your legs shake and your back arches and your muscles clench around nothing as he pushes your legs further apart and seals his lips around your clit. You were already close. Heat floods your lower abdomen and you come, gasping Tenko’s name. It’s on the tip of your tongue to beg him not to stop.

When you look up, you see that his mouth and chin are wet, and he’s grinning at you. “That was hot,” he says, and wipes his mouth on the back of his hand. Your face burns. “You got me going again.”

He’s hard. You can feel his cock pressing against your thigh. “I didn’t do anything.”

Tenko’s lips move against your neck as he sinks into you again. “Yes you did.”

You hear the echo of something you said to him in what feels like another life, but then he rolls his hips forward, and your mind empties instantly of thoughts about anything at all.

The two of you are slower this time. Not so frantic. Almost lazy — and it feels good. In spite of the fact that you can taste yourself and Tenko on his mouth when you kiss him, you can’t stop. Your lips barely detach from his, and your hands never leave his hair, and in spite of being almost too sensitive and a little sore, the orgasm that washes over you is one you barely had to chase. Tenko’s perception of his own self-control is typically skewed. He always looks surprised when he realizes he’s passed the tipping point, and there’s something almost cute about it. Cute enough that you’re laughing as his hips rock forward unevenly for a few more thrusts before he slumps forward against you.

He makes a discontented sound. “What’s funny?”

“You. You always seem like you’re not expecting it.”

“Yeah. Any second now I’m going to wake up and it’ll all have been a dream.”

“Tenko.” You still sound way too out of breath. You take one or two deep ones, wondering if it’ll help clear the lump in your throat. “That’s –”

“I didn’t forget about you,” Tenko says, and you go quiet. “Just because I didn’t recognize you right away didn’t mean I forgot.”

You don’t know what to say. “I didn’t think you forgot who I was. I just didn’t think you remembered what we were like.”

“I remember more than people think I do.” Tenko pulls away from you, then nudges you onto your side so he can wrap himself around you from behind. He presses his face against your shoulder, then jerks back. “You let me scratch you?”

“I had other stuff on my mind.” You reach behind you blindly and pull him close again. “Stay here.”

It takes him a little bit, but Tenko eventually settles back into the same position as before. “Sensei wanted me to remember some things. My family. What they were like. What I did to them.”

“What happened to them,” you correct, and your heart lifts when he doesn’t argue. “Keep talking.”

“Or he wanted me to remember how it felt,” Tenko says. “What it felt like to be in my father’s house. All the worst things that happened were there. That’s what Sensei cared about. What happened outside it didn’t matter to him. I don’t know why.”

You think you might. Keeping Tenko’s attention focused on the house he was tormented in, keeping him focused on his pain and who was responsible for it, would have gone a long way to nurturing the hatred Tenko holds for the world as it is. “He didn’t care about what happened outside the house. So I would think about that sometimes. I talked to Kurogiri sometimes, before they took him away and made him different. I think they thought it was because of him, but it wasn’t. I wasn’t always alone. I had friends.”

He still has them. When Tenko gets to be himself, people are drawn to him. They always have been. “And I had a best friend,” Tenko continues. His grip on you tightens and he wedges himself closer. “I used to wonder what happened to you.”

He yawns. “Nothing much,” you say. “It was just a life. It would have been better with you.”

You feel awful for saying it. It’s not Tenko’s fault that All For One took him away. He doesn’t act like you’re guilt-tripping him, though – he curls up tighter around you. “Hey,” Tenko says, and you bite the inside of your cheek, holding on to your guilt. “You said you had something to tell me before. About Sensei’s quirk. I was supposed to get the original, right? Did the doctor switch it up on me?”

“No,” you say, and Tenko makes a questioning sound. You squeeze your eyes shut and spit it out as fast as possible. “I did.”

“Huh,” Tenko says, after the worst silence you’ve ever heard in your life. “Okay.”

Your heart is hammering, your entire body flooding with adrenaline — but there’s nothing for you to run from. Tenko is still wrapped around you, seemingly unconcerned and based on the way he’s flopped against you, settling in for a nap. “Okay?” you repeat.

“The copied quirks do the same thing as the originals, right?” Tenko yawns. You nod. “Like I said. Okay.”

“You’re not mad at me?”

Tenko yawns again. “You don’t trust the doctor. If you went against him, there was a reason, and —” a third yawn, even bigger than the others “— I trust you.”

“But —”

“You can keep talking about it,” Tenko says. “I’m going to sleep. Love you.”

“Tenko –” you protest, but he kisses your shoulder and shuts his eyes. He’s asleep seconds later.

You can’t believe it. You can’t believe a lot of what’s happened today, from the enormous to the ridiculous — everything from Tenko waking up in one piece to finding out that Dabi spilled his guts and maybe other stuff to Hawks to finding out that Tenko remembered you the whole time. Also that Tenko apparently thinks nothing of eating you out after he’s just come inside you, which is its own circle of weird. But none of that stacks up anywhere close to the fact that Tenko took the news that you switched the original quirk with a copy with absolutely no worries about it whatsoever.

Is it really that weird, though? You know Tenko trusts you. There’s never been a question of that, and he asked you to stay with him during the quirk transplants because he trusted you to look out for him. You did what he asked you to do, and he still has the quirk. Why were you so worried? Maybe because if your swap had failed, the moment you told Tenko would have been the moment you found out he wasn’t Tenko at all.

A shiver runs down your spine, and Tenko, already asleep, tightens his grip on you. You have a feeling you’re not going to be going anywhere without Tenko attached to you for the next few days — or you aren’t going to be anywhere other than this room at all. You don’t mind the thought. The quirk-canceling bullets work, and you have dozens of them. Tenko’s new quirks are in perfect working order, and he’s still himself. He knows about what you did, and he’s not angry. You remind yourself of those things, over and over again, until your heart rate begins to slow.

Tenko finally has the power to do whatever he wants to do, and you’re going to help him. And once it’s over, the two of you can build the world you should have gotten to live in from the beginning. You keep thinking about it as your breathing settles, and as you drift off, it occurs to you that this is doable. Tenko’s not the underdog anymore. The two of you could win, just like in your games as kids. For the first time, it feels like a real possibility. Not just something you can dream about. Something you can hope for.

Chapter 25 ->

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