#let's call it the faux provider vibe

[echowisdom]

The Best Women's Coats and Jackets for Every Season

When it comes to outerwear, nothing says versatility quite like a well-chosen coat or jacket. The right piece can keep you warm, elevate your outfit, and make a fashion statement all at once. Whether you’re navigating the chill of winter, enjoying a brisk spring day, or embracing autumnal breezes, there’s a perfect coat or jacket for every occasion. Let’s explore the best types of women’s coats and jackets that will keep you feeling comfortable and looking fabulous, no matter the weather.

1. Classic Winter Coats: Embrace the Chill in Style

Winter is all about warmth, and nothing keeps you cozier than a classic winter coat. Wool coats are timeless pieces that offer a sophisticated touch, making them ideal for both formal occasions and casual outings. With their snug fit and structured silhouette, wool coats provide warmth while effortlessly complementing your wardrobe.

Puffer jackets are also a winter essential for those extremely cold days. These coats are padded with insulation to trap warmth and are designed for maximum comfort. The puffer jacket’s popularity has surged thanks to its lightweight feel and stylish look, perfect for staying toasty in the harshest weather. You might also want to consider a parka, which offers extra protection with its long length and fur-lined hood, keeping you insulated from head to knee.

2. Lightweight Spring Jackets: Transitional Elegance

As the weather starts to warm up, womens coats and jackets designed for transitional seasons become essential. Spring calls for lighter layers, and a classic trench coat is one of the best options available. Not only does it provide just the right amount of coverage, but it also adds an effortlessly chic flair to any outfit. A trench coat is perfect for layering over light sweaters or dresses, making it a go-to option for unpredictable spring weather.

Another great option for spring is the denim jacket. This classic piece has been a favorite for decades and can be worn in so many ways. It pairs beautifully with floral dresses, casual tees, or even a fitted pair of trousers. Its casual charm makes it a favorite for everything from coffee dates to outdoor strolls.

3. Summer Jackets: Light and Breezy

Yes, jackets can also be part of your summer wardrobe! On cooler summer nights or breezy beach days, lightweight jackets are the perfect addition to your look. A linen jacket is a fantastic choice as it’s breathable and light, ensuring that you don’t overheat. Linen jackets are typically loose-fitting, adding a laid-back yet polished vibe to your summer outfits.

The bomber jacket is another versatile summer choice. With its relaxed fit and casual design, a bomber jacket adds an edge to any look. It’s perfect for throwing over a sundress or pairing with shorts for a cool evening out with friends. The key for summer jackets is to keep it light and comfortable while adding a stylish touch to your ensemble.

4. Autumn Layers: Embrace the Cozy Season

Autumn is all about layering, and choosing the right jacket can make this season extra special. A utility jacket is perfect for those early autumn days when temperatures start to dip. Its multiple pockets and functional design make it great for casual outings, while its structured silhouette keeps you looking effortlessly put-together.

For something a bit cozier, a quilted jacket is an excellent option. This type of jacket provides just the right amount of warmth without being too heavy. Its soft, padded texture makes it comfortable, and its versatile style can work well with jeans, leggings, or dresses. Pairing a quilted jacket with a chunky scarf can elevate your entire look, giving off that cozy fall vibe we all love.

5. The Timeless Leather Jacket: Year-Round Edginess

One jacket that has stood the test of time and seasons is the leather jacket. Whether genuine or faux, a leather jacket is a must-have staple for any wardrobe. It’s a piece that can be worn year-round, effortlessly transitioning from summer nights to winter days. During colder months, you can layer it over a turtleneck or hoodie, while in warmer weather, it pairs beautifully with a light tee.

The leather jacket adds a hint of edginess to any look, whether you're wearing jeans, dresses, or skirts. The beauty of a leather jacket lies in its versatility—it’s one of those pieces that instantly makes you feel more confident and stylish as soon as you slip it on.

6. Rainy Days: Stylish Protection

Rainy days don’t have to mean sacrificing style. A good raincoat is essential for anyone who wants to stay dry without compromising on fashion. Look for a raincoat that is waterproof but also breathable, allowing you to stay comfortable while keeping the elements at bay. Classic colors like navy, black, or olive green are timeless, but feel free to embrace bold patterns to brighten up those gloomy days.

The anorak is another great rainy-day option. With its lightweight design and adjustable features, the anorak is both functional and fashionable. It’s easy to pack away and carry, making it perfect for those days when the forecast is unpredictable. A raincoat or anorak is not only a functional piece but also a great opportunity to make a statement with a bright color or unique design.

7. The Versatile Peacoat: A Perfect Blend of Style and Comfort

For those who want a coat that works well for various seasons, the peacoat is an excellent choice. Made from heavy wool, peacoats are warm enough for winter but versatile enough for spring and autumn. Their double-breasted style adds a touch of elegance to any outfit, and their structured design makes them ideal for both work and play.

Peacoats can be dressed up or down depending on the occasion, making them a favorite for women who want a multi-functional coat. Pair a peacoat with jeans and boots for a casual look or wear it over a dress for a more polished appearance—either way, you’ll look effortlessly chic.

To buy Coats & Jackets, visit https://chichotclub.com/

8. Faux Fur Coats: Embrace Glamour and Warmth

For those who love to make a statement, faux fur coats are the way to go. Not only do they add an element of glamour, but they also provide exceptional warmth during colder months. Faux fur coats come in a variety of styles, from cropped jackets to full-length coats, offering a wide range of options for different occasions.

Faux fur coats are perfect for special events, but they can also be worn casually to add a touch of luxury to your everyday outfits. Whether you opt for a bold color or a classic neutral tone, you’ll feel like a star whenever you step out in your faux fur.

9. Shackets: The Ultimate Blend of Shirt and Jacket

Shackets have recently gained popularity as a trendy and practical outerwear choice. A combination of a shirt and a jacket, shackets are perfect for those mild weather days when you need something more than just a shirt but less than a heavy coat. They are often made of thicker materials like wool blends and can be styled in numerous ways.

Shackets are great for casual outings, weekend getaways, or even a simple day of running errands. They look effortlessly cool when worn over a t-shirt and jeans or paired with a cozy sweater for an extra layer. Their laid-back appeal makes them a fantastic addition to any wardrobe.

10. Capes and Ponchos: Unconventional Outerwear

For those who like to add an unconventional twist to their style, capes and ponchos are wonderful outerwear options. Capes are stylish, dramatic, and perfect for layering over your favorite outfits. They come in various lengths, from short capelets that add just a touch of warmth to full-length versions that provide more coverage.

Ponchos, on the other hand, are often made of soft, knitted fabrics and offer a relaxed and comfortable fit. They’re great for autumn and early winter when you want something cozy that’s easy to throw on. Both capes and ponchos are fun, playful, and sure to add a unique flair to your outerwear collection.

11. Quilted Gilets: A Versatile Layering Option

When temperatures are unpredictable, a quilted gilet (also known as a puffer vest) is the perfect solution for layering. Gilets are sleeveless jackets that can be worn over sweaters, long-sleeve tees, or even lighter jackets to provide extra warmth without adding too much bulk. They’re ideal for outdoor activities, hiking, or even casual weekend strolls.

Quilted gilets are lightweight, practical, and stylish—making them an excellent choice for transitional weather. They offer flexibility in layering and are a must-have for those days when you need to stay active while staying warm.

Choosing the Perfect Coat for You

Choosing the right coat or jacket is all about understanding your needs, personal style, and the climate you’re in. Whether you need something heavy-duty for freezing temperatures or a light layer for a cool summer night, there is a coat out there for you. Comfort and functionality are key, but never be afraid to embrace pieces that make you feel confident and stylish.

By investing in a few versatile outerwear pieces, you can be ready for any season. From classic winter coats to lightweight summer jackets, each piece serves its own unique purpose, helping you stay comfortable, stylish, and ready for whatever weather comes your way. Remember, a well-chosen coat or jacket isn’t just about practicality—it’s an extension of your personality and style. Choose wisely, layer well, and enjoy the warmth and comfort each season brings.

[palakjain1234-blogs]

From Traditional to Contemporary: Artificial Jewellery Styles for Every Occasion

Here’s a detailed article for the title "From Traditional to Contemporary: Artificial Jewellery Styles for Every Occasion":

INTRODUCTION

Artificial jewellery has transformed from a budget-friendly alternative to a stylish and versatile accessory that caters to every taste and occasion. Whether you’re dressing up for a traditional festival or attending a modern social event, there’s a piece of artificial jewellery that can enhance your look. This guide explores various styles of artificial jewellery and how they can be perfectly suited to different occasions, from traditional celebrations to contemporary gatherings.

1. Traditional Elegance: Classic Pieces for Cultural Celebrations

Traditional occasions such as weddings, festivals, and family ceremonies often call for jewellery that reflects heritage and cultural values. Here’s how to embrace traditional elegance with artificial jewellery:

Kundan and Polki Jewellery: These styles are inspired by ancient Indian craftsmanship and feature intricate designs with faux gemstones and delicate metalwork. Perfect for weddings and elaborate festivals, Kundan and Polki pieces add a royal touch to any outfit.

Jhumkas: Traditional Indian jhumkas, with their bell-shaped design and elaborate detailing, are a must-have for festive occasions. They come in various sizes and designs, making them suitable for everything from a Diwali celebration to a wedding reception.

Temple Jewellery: Inspired by South Indian temple designs, this type of jewellery often includes intricate gold plating and religious motifs. It’s ideal for religious ceremonies and cultural events, reflecting a deep sense of tradition.

2. Bohemian Vibes: Free-Spirited Styles for Casual Outings

For a more relaxed and bohemian look, artificial jewellery can add a touch of free-spirited charm to casual outings and day trips:

Tribal Designs: Chunky necklaces, oversized earrings, and statement bracelets with tribal motifs can give you a unique and eclectic look. These pieces are perfect for casual gatherings, music festivals, or boho-chic outfits.

Layered Necklaces: Multiple layered necklaces with varied pendants and charms offer a laid-back, trendy style. They work well for casual brunches or day outings, providing a chic yet effortless look.

Feather and Bead Accessories: Jewellery featuring feathers, beads, and natural elements captures the essence of bohemian fashion. These pieces are ideal for relaxed events or a laid-back day at the beach.

3. Modern Minimalism: Sleek Designs for Professional Settings

In professional environments, artificial jewellery should be understated yet elegant. Here’s how to incorporate modern minimalist styles into your work wardrobe:

Simple Stud Earrings: Small, elegant stud earrings in gold, silver, or rose gold can add a touch of sophistication without being too flashy. They’re perfect for everyday office wear and formal meetings.

Delicate Bracelets: Thin, sleek bracelets or bangles can be worn individually or stacked for a subtle touch of style. They complement business attire and add a polished look.

Minimalist Necklaces: Choose fine chains with simple pendants or bar necklaces that provide a clean, professional appearance. These pieces are versatile and suitable for both meetings and professional events.

4. Glamorous Evening Wear: Statement Pieces for Night Out

When it’s time to step out for an evening event or party, artificial jewellery can add a glamorous touch to your look:

Chandelier Earrings: These dramatic earrings with cascading stones and intricate designs are perfect for evening wear. They can instantly elevate a simple dress and make you stand out at any event.

Bold Statement Necklaces: Large, eye-catching necklaces with bold gemstones or intricate patterns are ideal for evening gatherings. Pair them with a simple outfit to let the jewellery be the focal point.

Cuff Bracelets: Wide, ornate cuff bracelets add a touch of sophistication and drama to your evening ensemble. They work well with both formal dresses and chic jumpsuits.

5. Trendy and Chic: Fashion-Forward Pieces for Social Events

For social events where you want to showcase your fashion-forward side, artificial jewellery can help you make a stylish statement:

Geometric Designs: Jewellery with geometric shapes and modern lines offers a contemporary and edgy look. These pieces are great for cocktail parties, art exhibitions, or trendy social gatherings.

Mixed Media Jewellery: Combining different materials such as metal, stone, and resin can create unique and stylish pieces. These are perfect for adding a touch of modern flair to your social outfits.

Colorful Gemstone Accents: Vibrant gemstones and enamel work can add a pop of color and fun to your jewellery collection. They’re ideal for events where you want to stand out and showcase your playful side.

6. Elegant Everyday Wear: Subtle Styles for Daily Life

For everyday wear, artificial jewellery should be versatile, comfortable, and stylish:

Simple Hoops: Classic hoop earrings in various sizes can be worn daily. They’re a versatile choice that complements a range of outfits, from casual to semi-formal.

Petite Rings: Small, elegant rings with minimal designs are perfect for everyday use. They’re comfortable, stylish, and can be layered for a personalized look.

Fine Chains and Lockets: Delicate chains with small lockets or pendants are ideal for adding a touch of elegance to your daily outfits. They’re subtle yet refined, making them perfect for work or casual outings.

Conclusion

Artificial jewellery offers a wide range of styles that cater to every occasion, from traditional celebrations to contemporary social events. By choosing pieces that align with your outfit, event type, and personal style, you can enhance your look and make a statement. Embrace the versatility of artificial jewellery and explore different designs to find the perfect accessories for every moment in your life.

[joyfulpoetryphilosopher]

15 Best Blogs to Follow About best budget tech gifts under 50

Budget-Friendly Electronic Devices Gifts Under $50 for the Holidays: Technology That Won't Break the Bank

Locating the excellent holiday presents can place a strain on your wallet, specifically when you have technology fans on your listing. However worry not-- there's an unexpected selection of enjoyable and functional electronics presents available that will not force you into holiday debt. With a little wise shopping and careful factor to consider, you can discover technology provides that spread holiday cheer without breaking the bank.

The Gift of Power (and Portability).

A top notch portable charger (likewise called a power bank) is a real present for the individual constantly on the go. Bonus offer features such as quick billing or several output ports add extra benefit, so they can power up two tools at when.

Express Yourself (and Protect Your Phone).

Given that most individuals have their phones in hand practically all the time, a brand-new phone instance makes both a trendy and best budget tech gifts under 50 practical present. The array of shades, styles, and products offered for under $50 is amazing. Go with tough materials like shock-resistant silicone or faux leather to ensure their precious smart device is shielded in instance of decreases and bumps.

Tiny Package, Big Sound.

Don't underestimate the power of a compact Bluetooth audio speaker! For outdoor use, a waterproof audio speaker with a rugged design lets them bring their preferred tunes to the pool, beach, or hiking routes stress-free.

Update Their Audio Experience.

Comfortable cordless earbuds or over-ear earphones can be a game-changer, whether they're commuting, working out, or merely relaxing with songs. While top-of-the-line features like noise-cancellation may not remain in the sub-$ 50 cost array, you'll still find lots of solid choices with suitable audio high quality and comfortable styles.

Gamers Gon na Game (Even on a Budget).

For a touch of fond memories that's perfect for laid-back pc gaming sessions, think about a handheld retro pc gaming console. These enjoyable gadgets come pre-loaded with an option of traditional arcade and console games, restoring memories and offering hours of home entertainment.

Accessories for the Win.

Often the most valuable tech gifts are the most basic. Don't overlook the day-to-day basics that make their tech lives less complicated! Think extra-long billing cable televisions, a portable USB center to attach several gadgets on the move, a phone grasp for steadier selfies, or a ring light for those job calls and video conversations where great illumination is essential.

Gizmos for each Passion.

By taking into consideration the recipient's hobbies and passions, you can personalize your technology gift also better. Physical fitness lovers might value a fundamental task tracker that keeps an eye on actions, heart price, distance, and even rest high quality. Select one with an easy to use application and trustworthy battery life.

If they're interested about the world of wise home technology, a small smart speaker like the Echo Dot or Google Nest Mini makes a terrific access factor. They can use straightforward voice commands to control compatible clever lights, established alarms and pointers, or ask for music, news, and weather updates.

Obtained a budding photographer on your listing? Broaden their smartphone video camera's capacities with a lens set including alternatives like wide-angle, macro, or fisheye lenses for innovative shots. An adaptable phone tripod is an additional must-have for getting steadier and extra imaginative angles.

Outdoor adventurers will enjoy a water-proof Bluetooth audio speaker with a carabiner clip for very easy affixing to backpacks or bikes. If they're intending longer journeys away from power outlets, a mobile solar charger provides off-grid power to maintain their tools going.

For the homebodies who crave cozy vibes, LED strip lights include enjoyable atmosphere to their area and are controllable with a mobile phone or remote. And for movie lovers, a miniature projector creates a home-theater experience for under $50.

[realtorjamier]

How to Host a Banner BBQ!

If you aspire to have your friends and family describe your backyard barbecues using words like “epic” and “legendary,” our hosting guide will help you plan a shindig that’s sure to please. The popularity of the neo-Western television series “Yellowstone” will undoubtedly elevate interest in this entertainment option. Take it up a notch and draw from these tips to create an unforgettable BBQ bash.

Pre-party Pump-up

Create a buzz early by sending fun invitations out to your guest list. Include cute graphics and catchy phrases: “Grill and chill,” “We’re fired up,” “Pig out at our cookout,” “Smokin’ hot,” – you get the idea. Consider asking your guests to dress the part in denim and cowboy hats!

Set the Stage

Your decor will help guests get into the spirit of the party. When gathering items for decorating, think thematically: cowboys, ranches and farms, upscale rustic, the wild west, “Yellowstone.” Here are some ideas to keep your design unified:

Gingham tablecloths, table runners

Bandana napkins

Faux cowhides

Denim

Rustic wood

Wildflowers (buckets of daisies, Queen Ann’s Lace, etc.)

Mason jars

Lanterns

Hay bales

Galvanized metal

Set the Tone: Music

If you Google “Yellowstone playlist,” you’ll be able to create yours based on all the songs that have been included in the hit series. You’ll also find other options within the same musical genre. If you want a “Yellowstone” vibe, here’s a sampling of what you can include:

“What Cowboys Do” by Casey Donahew

“Summertime Blues” by Zach Bryan

“Watermelon Moonshine” by Lainey Wilson

“Last Call” by 49 Winchester

“Hands on the Wheel” by Willie Nelson

“Life of Sin” by Sturgill Simpson

“Wrong Side of the River” by Myon Elkins

“Far from Home” by Aubrie Sellers

“Off the Wagon” by Isaac Hoskins

“Dance the Night Away” by Shane Smith and the Saints

“Mule Skinner Blues” by Dolly Parton

“Peace in the Pines” by Kolton Moore & the Clever Few

“Chess” by Honey County

“Dear Rodeo” by Cody Johnson

“The Cowboy in Me” by Tim McGraw

“West Texas in My Eye” by The Panhandlers

“Cowpoke” by Colter Wall

“The Low Road” by Shooter Jennings

“Hey Delilah” by Blackberry Smoke

Fun and Games

When it comes to backyard BBQ games, let’s face it: you’ve got to have horseshoes and cornhole. Consider creating a customized cornhole board and/or beanbags.

Let kids pan for “gold” by setting up a kiddie pool filled with sand. Bury coins in the sand, add water and provide metal pans for kids to search for their loot.

Set up a checkerboard station. You can use black and red painted stones and a flat stump painted with a checkerboard pattern or create an oversized checkerboard table using painted mason jar lids as checkers.

Make an Instagram-worthy photo “booth” for guests to take pictures behind a giant “WANTED” poster frame.

Here are more ideas to keep kids and adults entertained:

Wild West themed Trivial Pursuit

Croquet

Lawn bowling

Giant Jenga

Water balloon bin

Fire pit for s’mores

Ring toss using old soda crates with vintage glass bottles 

9-hole mini golf using the naturally challenging elements of your yard

Sidewalk chalk

Be a Pitmaster

 

Make sure to prepare as much food in advance as you can. Marinate meats and vegetables, cut and refrigerate meats, fruits and vegetables, and chill beverages. Make sure to also offer vegan options like grilled or Buffalo cauliflower wings, vegetable skewers, mushroom BBQ ribs, Portobello mushroom fajitas, mushroom burgers, etc.

Create menu item signs with fun names that go with the BBQ theme. Some possibilities include “Grazing Board” (charcuterie), “Cowboy Caviar,” “Cheesy Ranch Potatoes.”

Make a “Watering Hole” beverage station and a “Soda Float Bar” for fun refreshment. (For less work during the party, ice cream can be pre-scooped into cupcake liners and kept frozen until ready to serve.) You could also create an old-fashioned lemonade stand with optional spiked varieties.

Freeze red and black water-filled balloons and place them in galvanized metal tubs for a fun take on a beverage cooler.

Party Favors

Gifting your guests with inexpensive but useful items will make your event even more memorable. Consider packaging these items in a bandana, cowboy hat, or other cute container:

Cheap sunglasses

Bug spray

Sunscreen

Hand wipes

Bubbles

Hand fans

Sidewalk chalk 

Post Party 

Store all your reusable decor to make the next BBQ bash even easier!

And to make the BBQ buzz linger longer, your post-party plan can include social media posts featuring flattering pictures of your party guests having fun!

[livingwallverticalplanters]

Transforming Spaces: The Magic of Living Plant Walls in Interior Design

Welcome to a world where walls come alive, not with paint or wallpaper, but with a burst of lush greenery that can change the entire vibe of a room. We're talking about the enchanting trend of living plant walls in interior design – a trend that's like giving your home a big, comforting hug from Mother Nature herself! & that is why we feel proud of being one of the best

Imagine stepping into your living room and being greeted by a vibrant tapestry of plants that seems to dance in the sunlight. Indoor & outdoor plant walls are not just decorations; they're natural works of art that breathe life into your spaces, literally! Let's explore the magic they bring to interior design, with a touch of fun and a splash of green.

Bringing the Outdoors In

Living plant walls are like bringing a slice of the great outdoors into your living space. They're not just for mansions with sprawling gardens – even cozy apartments can benefit. Take that dull corner in your bedroom; a living plant wall can instantly turn it into a cozy forest retreat, making you feel like you're waking up in a secret garden every morning.

Greenery Anywhere, Anytime

No need to worry about a lack of outdoor space. You can have your very own garden right inside your living room or kitchen! Have a wall that's been begging for attention? Turn it into a canvas for nature's palette. From herbs in the kitchen to soothing ferns in the living room, the possibilities are as vast as your imagination.

Green Wall, Good Vibes

Living plant walls aren't just about aesthetics; they're practically a spa day for your senses. Imagine being surrounded by the gentle rustling of leaves and the earthy scent of soil – it's a sensory escape without ever leaving your home. And the best part? These walls improve indoor air quality, making your space a haven of freshness.

A Garden of Creativity

Think of your living wall as a living, breathing canvas. You're the artist, and the plants are your paintbrushes. Experiment with arranging different types of plants – mix some evergreens with edible herbs, or throw in a few air plants for a touch of whimsy. There's no right or wrong; it's all about your personal green masterpiece.

From Faux to Fabulous

Don't have a green thumb? No problem! There are fake living wall plants that require zero maintenance. They're like your own secret garden that stays perpetually perfect, no matter how forgetful you are about watering.

Taking It Outside

Living plant walls aren't just for indoor spaces. If you've got a bare outdoor wall, consider transforming it into a living canvas that changes with the seasons. Imagine sipping your morning coffee on the patio while being serenaded by a chorus of fluttering leaves.

 

What are the Benefits of Indoor Plant Walls?

Indoor plant walls offer a plethora of benefits that extend beyond aesthetics:

Improved Air Quality: Plant walls act as natural air purifiers, removing toxins and releasing oxygen, resulting in fresher and healthier indoor air.

Enhanced Aesthetics: These living installations are visually captivating, adding a touch of nature's beauty to any space, making it more inviting and appealing.

Stress Reduction: Surrounding yourself with greenery has been linked to reduced stress levels and improved mental well-being, creating a more relaxing atmosphere.

Noise Reduction: Plant walls can also dampen noise, providing a quieter and more serene environment, especially in urban areas.

Temperature Regulation: Through a process called transpiration, plants release moisture, helping regulate indoor humidity levels and contributing to a comfortable atmosphere.

Why are Plant Walls Important?

Plant walls hold immense significance in creating healthier, more vibrant spaces:

Environmental Impact: They contribute to environmental sustainability by absorbing carbon dioxide, reducing the urban heat island effect, and promoting local biodiversity.

Well-Being: Plant walls positively affect human well-being by improving air quality, reducing stress, and enhancing overall mood and productivity.

Design Innovation: Plant walls allow for creative design expressions, transforming plain walls into dynamic living artworks that spark conversation.

What Material is Used for Plant Walls?

Plant walls are typically built using sturdy materials that provide support and irrigation for plants. Modular systems made of materials like metal or plastic are common, providing structure for plants to grow. The chosen material ensures the longevity and health of the plants while complementing the overall design. In the realm of interior design, where creativity meets nature's finest, the wall of plants stands as an embodiment of transformation. At we've embraced this enchanting trend wholeheartedly. Our commitment to innovative designs, nurtured by horticultural expertise, ensures that your living plant wall is not just a decoration but a living, thriving creation that brings nature's magic indoors. From precision engineering to installations tailored to your space, we're dedicated to crafting spaces that reflect the harmony of greenery and design. So, whether you're embarking on a journey of relaxation, enhancing your surroundings, or seeking the pure joy of connecting with nature, our living plant walls and comprehensive services are here to usher in a world of transformation and enchantment. Welcome to a space where walls truly come alive!

[sidneycrosbyisawitch]

Ok, so I looked at the tags on the last gif set you reblogged of Mitch and Auston and I thought that you just thought Auston asked Mitch who he wanted, but I went back and watched the video again and Auston really asks him that! Like he wasn’t meant to be looking at the names he was drawing ! But you bet your ass he would’ve searched for whatever name Mitch asked for had Mitch requested a certain person.

the sheer romance of it all. the way auston immediately turns and speaks only for mitch’s ears, tuning out the cameras as they turn into each other. mitch swaying into auston’s space

“who do you want?” because all auston cares about is what mitchy wants

[binniesthighs]

can u do an enemy to lovers au with han jisung where they are in a hidden fwb relationship? thank u~ 🥺

I really look some creative liberties with this one HA but the product...hehe, I hope that you enjoy it love! I also kinda accidentally made it a period piece??? Like 50′s-60′s? Idk how this happened but the vibe and the music I was listening to while writing really put me in that mood haha

blue velvet | reader x jisung |

Paring: self insert, gender neutral reader x han jisung

Genre: smut n’ angst

Tags: stripper!jisung, stripper!reader, bi!jisung, enemies (competitors) to lovers, secret relationship, friends with benefits, explicit language, mentions of alcohol, degrading names, choking, spanking, v mild spit play, unprotected sex (wrap it before you slippity slap it friends), creampie, cum eating, scratching, oral (reader receiving) semi-public sex, hello yes this one is kinda filthy ooooops

Word count: 3.2k

Recommended listening: Blue Velvet by Bobby Vinton

Fuck. It’s hot in here. Too fucking hot.

Reconnaissance. That’s what you were doing. It was fucking disgusting. Everyone in the room was just as fake as the pleather belts that held their guts in. You had never seen anything more embarrassing in your whole life. Desperation was sweating off the walls and sunk into your skin. It made you feel sick.

You scoffed and took a long sip from your drink.

“One more?” An attentive maître d' asked you--if he could even been called that in a place like this.

You covered your hand over your glass. You refused to pay for any more of that cheap tasting shit.

Next to you a rapt group of men in suits wagged their tails at the view. She wasn’t even very pretty.

Rolling your eyes, you scoped out the rest of the room, adorned in red velvet and gold nearly everywhere. What was this? A high school musical? Even those had more class than this place.

You checked your sliver wristwatch lined by dainty diamonds. You always did like gifts. Too bad rarely anyone would get anything in return.

The girls on the stage twirled around, giving the audience the best view that they could, tiger-prowling to those waving bills in their grabby hands. They were tanned and fashioned into strappy and lacy pieces that looked like they all must have shared them. Pathetic.

“You come here often?”

He swirled some clear looking liquid in his crystal glass, the little string of olives clinking the side.

“Are you speaking to me?”

“No, I’m talking to them.” He head nodded to the same group of greasy businessmen. “I haven’t seen you here before.”

“It’s my first time...and likely my last.”

“Huh. Tough critic.”

He didn’t look like the rest of them. Younger, reeking less of starved attention. He had golden blonde hair, and a silk white shirt unbuttoned far into a deep V. He was toned: the muscles on his arms were visible under the thin fabric and his abs made a show thanks to the abandonment of buttons. He wore dress pants perfectly fitted for his thighs. He was...attractive...but not your type.

“What’s not to like? Beautiful people, drinks to make you forget your mistakes? Not your scene?”

You rested your chin in your palm. “It’s my scene, but not this scene.”

“Suit yourself.” He took another swing, pivoting his body towards you, legs spread wide. “I think I know someone who can change you mind though.”

“In this place? Unlikely.”

“Come on...just stay a little bit longer and they’ll come out. They’re the last act of the night for a reason.” He signaled to the maître d' and whispered something into his ear. “Drinks on me. If you’ll stay?”

“Free drinks?” You put down your empty glass. “I suppose I can’t say no to that.”

╚ ——————————————— ╝

It was thirty minutes till closing, and you had stayed much longer than you had liked. After all the drinks you had to pass the time, you were starting to feel a little buzz, but nothing much really phased you these days. You started to wonder if he had been pulling some kind of prank. Nothing you had seen was what he had hyped it up to be.

The lights dimmed behind you, making the room dark enough for the tiny white candles at the tables to provide the only light. Spotlights flashed on from behind you too, illuminating the U shaped stage. With the lights, the music faded into something much more sultry.

The first two girls stepped out, both of them wearing white sets that were nearly identical with sheer robes. Two others stepped out after them, this time wearing red and black. It was the same thing you had been seeing all night.

The spotlight tightened.

It was him.

He was wearing a button down and those same pants, everything seemed so tight on him, accentuating every curve of his body. Strangely, when he walked out, he was greeted with wolf-whistles and hoots. He winked back at his spectators, nearly falling out of their chairs to see him better. It was even stranger considering the audience was filled with men.

He walked around the girls on stage as if he was inspecting them, his eyes eating up every bit of their skin. He confidence was unparalleled. He would run his hands down their sides, digging his fingers into their hips. They circled around him until his body was covered with their hands, teasing the audience, just barely touching around his dick, which with his pants...there was little room for imagination.

Silent moans left his lips once they started undressing him giving him their full attention. The cheers grew even louder. Before long, he was nearly fully undressed swaying to the music. He wore nothing special, just some briefs, like any normal person would. It was...confusing.

He took turns “giving attention” to every girl, looking at them like he worshiped the ground the walked on. They would grind their bodies together, or he would pick them up in his arms, and they would wrap their long legs around him. He would pantomime fucking them from behind, screwing up his face as if he really was. Everyone went crazy for that.

It didn’t last for very long and the lights soon went all the way down, leaving the stage scattered with sweating bodies, panting as if they had just cum, entangling themselves all in eachother.

You were a bit unenthused, but it was different. There was something about him that was different.

╚ ——————————————— ╝

“Were the drinks enough for you?” His voice called to you just as you were about to leave. This time, he returned wearing the same silk shirt.

“I hope that I didn’t make you pay for too many.” You pouted with faux empathy.

“And the show?” He grinned a little.

“Interesting. Considering a place like this.”

He laughed a little. “I help with...the imagination.”  

“So they pretend that you’re them. I’ll admit, it’s smart.”

“You’d be surprised, somedays I get more male customers compared to most of the girls here.” He bit his lip as if recalling a memory. “They pay well too, pay for whatever they aren’t getting at home. Who am I do deny them that when it’s my job?

“You sleep with them?”

“The ones I like.”

“Sounds exhausting.”

“Can be. In a good way.” He let out a sharp laugh. “So. Did I prove you wrong?”

“Hmmm. I could do better.”

He popped his brows up. “You could?”

He was intriguing. You decided to give him a bite. “I dance at La Rose Rouge.”

“You dance at that overpriced, snotty ass place?” His words turned poisonous.  What’s it like dancing for a guy who’s got a stick so far up his ass--”

“--The price is right, and you get what you pay for there...especially if its me.”

“How am I not surprised?”

“I need to go, I’ve seen all I could here.” You bowed at him a little.

“Wait.” He grabbed at your arm. “I’ve still got one more thing to show you. Follow me.”

 ╚ ——————————————— ╝

Your insides were on fire as he fucked into you. Every time that he thrust into you, he was relentless and unforgiving. He was going so fast you could barely catch your breath. You were bent over some dusty old sofa in an equally dusty dressing room. You would kill him if he left bruises on your hips from how hard he was holding you.

“fuck. shit.” He panted, then reached one of his hands around to rub at your sensitive sex, slick with your excitement.

He was so fucking cocky, but he knew what the hell he was doing. He bent over your back, sucking into your skin, wrapping his arms around you to tweak your nipples. He was wrecking you from the inside out, devouring you like he had never tasted anything like you.

He kicked your legs open even farther. “Fucking moan for me, slut.”

You had barely let him hear more than a few gasps, he didn’t deserve it. You wanted him to moan for you.

“Who are you calling slut?” You said with venom.

You shoved off of him, and he looked devastated. He was cute. He even frowned regretfully like he had done something wrong.

The metal of your rings dug into his neck when you grabbed it, squeezing as hard as you could. Your hot breath snuck into his ear, “No, you fucking moan for me...slut.”

You attacked his lips, tracing the insides of his mouth with your tongue. He moaned right into you and grabbed handfuls of your ass with his two hands. Your teeth bit his lip and pulled. His dick trembled between the two of you and he rutted against your stomach to get some kind of relief.

He took one of his hands to your hair before resting his glossy brown eyes on you. “I’d do anything for you.” His voice quivered. “You ruin me.”

“Get on the floor.” You commanded him, and he did as he was told without a question, laying his bare body on the cold concrete.

The chill of the stone stung your knees, but that didn’t matter, you just wanted to see him unravel. You straddled down onto him, taking him in as you sunk down.

“oh shit,” slipped off your tongue without you having much control over it.

You rolled your core over him, back and forth, circling yourself and bouncing up and down as he rolled his eyes back, licking his lips while you did everything that you wanted. As you bounced he held on to your ass, digging his fingertips in. You had your eyes closed, so you didn’t see it when he rose is hand to slap you hard. It burned beautifully.

“—Jisung? Are you done yet? The rest of us are going out.” A female voice called, and rattled the locked door.

“FUCK OFF.” He groaned, and held onto your ass even tighter.

You let out a unamused tsk. “Jisung? That’s your real name?”

He didn’t say anything, but instead swiftly took you in his arms to lay you down. The chill of the floor startled you into wince, but it felt amazing compared to how hot you were. He entered you immediately again, then slung your legs over his shoulders. His blonde hair appeared to bounce a little with each thrust.

You knew exactly what you were doing when you dragged your nails down his arms, waterfalling pink, perfect, lines. His whole body seized at the sensation, sending him into a fury. He licked his hand from palm to fingers, not breaking your gaze as he used it to rub relentlessly at you.

You were on the edge.  

“Want my cum, you whore?”

You were close as well, and it clouded your senses--you felt yourself slipping into him after holding back for so long.

“ye-yes, I want it.”

He came in seconds, doubling over you when he did, panting like a dog, with you gasping just as hard from your own orgasm. He seemed to shake a little as he came down, nearly suffocating you with his body weight. You jiggled your hips just a little to get a rise out of him. You had guessed correctly, someone like him couldn’t take overstimulation.

“Fuck, wait, wait. I-I can’t take anymore.”

You laughed a little and stopped. “You’re no fun.”

“I thought I literally just proved to you that I’m loads of fun.”

“Mmm, I suppose.”

“You liked it?” He ran his hand through his sweaty roots.

“You made me cum, so...usually I have to fake it.”

“Really?”

You nodded.

“I’m honored.” He grinned a little pridefully.

You reached down to your hole to catch a few drops of his cum on your fingers, stretching it out a little and playing with it. He watched you as you did so, eyes wide. You stood to grab his jaw, sticking your fingers in his mouth which he eagerly sucked.

“Where have you been my whole life?” He looked up at you in wonder.

“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just say that...Jisung.”

He watched you then as you dressed, careful not to forget your gorgeous silver wristwatch.

“I won’t be coming back, so don’t expect that this will happen again.”

“Wait--” He stopped you before you grabbed the door handle. “You didn’t tell me your name--”

“--That’s something you don’t need to know.”

╚ ——————————————— ╝

“Darling, is there anything that I can get you?”

Your manager swept a caring hand to hold you by the small of your back.

“No, thank you though, love.” You shone brightly back to him.

“Just let me know? So far we’ve got a queue for you. Four gentlemen and three ladies. I expect that the tips tonight will be generous...it’s payday.”

You politely nodded. “Of course.”

“Have you been having a hard time with any of the new faces?”

You took a sip of your brandy. “Some of them have some mouth, but I’ll make them dignified. You can trust me.”

“I always do.” He gently kissed your cheek. “Ah, I forgot to mention, one of your customers brought you a gift. It’s in your dressing room; he wants you to wear it for your dance tonight.”

“I do love gifts.”

“Go get ready darling, you haven’t got much more time.”

Once you were in your dressing room, a medium sized white box waited for you on your vanity. There was no labels; no indication that it was from a luxurious brand. You opened it, and the shirt was wrapped in light pink tissue paper. It was too short to be a robe, but it was silk and white with buttons that looked more decorative rather than useful. You figured it must have been your customer’s: many of them got off to you wearing their clothes. It wasn’t your usual style, but you knew how to make anything work.

╚ ——————————————— ╝

“And for our last act of the night: the wonderful, the illustrious...”

You walked out to the silent stage: meant only for you, the stage lights yellow, shrouding you in their brilliance. Your chest was bare, save for the silky shirt falling off your shoulders. They were cheering for you, throwing paper bills at you and calling your name, but you couldn’t hear them at all. You had never felt so whole in your life since being on the stage. It seemed like the rest of your days were just spent chasing some kind of feeling that merely resembled that.

Barefoot, you pranced along the stage, twirling like a ballerina even, letting the shirt billow up just so they could see your perky bottom. With all of their eyes on you, you felt like an absolute vision--like an ethereal being, desired, but impossibly attainable.

The jazz song played on by the live players, a muted trumpet and violins accompanied you. Your eyes swept across the blue velvet curtains of the booths, to every man and woman looking at you in awe. You let the shirt slip just a bit farther, revealing your back, winking. You never had to show them much. It was your charisma that they thirsted for--and that they could only get a small taste of.

╚ ——————————————— ╝

“Darlin’ you’re a catch, an absolute catch.” Your manager snuck up behind you taking your makeup off to hand you the ridiculously fat stack of bills. “You keep us afloat baby, you know that I can’t thank you enough.” He bowed.

“Stop flattering me.” You remarked with a smirk. “I know.”

Your manager left, then the curtain to your room screeched again. He slowly stepped into the light, applauding slightly.

“He’s right you know? Even I can’t get enough of you.”

It was him, cocky smile, swept blonde hair and all.

“You again? I’m surprised that you even made it in here at all. Considering who you are.”

“What? The competition? You didn’t tell them about me, did you?”

You patted some serums into your face. “Better leave soon before they rid you of that handsome face of yours.”

“You saying that I’m handsome?” He snarked.

“What are you doing here anyway?”

“Seeing you, I thought I made that clear? Isn’t that what you were doing when you came to my club?”

“Like what you saw?”

“I stand corrected.” He let up, advancing towards you at your vanity. “And you look just as stunning in my shirt as I thought you would.”

“Your...this is yours? How the hell did you mange that?”

“I have my ways.”

“I suppose you want it back then.”

“No...you can keep it...if you promise me one thing.”

“And what would that be?”

He reached out for your hands, which you tentatively took. He swept you up, pulling you into his chest with eyes dipped in lust.

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.” He spoke onto your lips with heated breath.

You would’ve been lying if you had said his lips didn’t look appetizing.

“One more time.”

“Bold of you to assume that I’d want to fuck you again.”

“You haven’t been thinking of it too? My hands on your body...”He caressed your body down, “My lips on yours?” He pulled you in by the chin to carefully part your lips with his. “My dick filling you up?” He pulled you in closer to feel his pulsating dick. “You don’t think about it?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“That you want me. All you have to do is say it and I’m yours.”

“You’re looking to get killed if they know you’ve touched me.”

“I’d happily die for you.”

“I’ll pretend you didn’t say that...Jisung.”

His lips fell to your neck where he pressed slow kisses onto it. “Just say it...”

The cool of his saliva on your skin met the air, tingling. You couldn’t believe you found yourself considering...

“I know you want to...”

“This won’t be a common occurrence.” You got out, suppressing your moans.

“Is that a yes?”

“...yes.”

“And we’ll see about that.” He slyly grinned, meeting your lips once again.

He swept you up, and your legs naturally wrapped around him. He carried you out of the dressing room to the main hall, pulling you both into the nearest booth, drawing the blue velvet curtains behind him. His eyes devoured you, casting aside his silk shirt that loosely clung to you. You threw your weight onto the table, opening your legs for him, inviting him. He chuckled a little at the action.

“I can imagine you must’ve been thinking of this as well then.” He kissed down your stomach, removing what underwear you were barely wearing. He kissed and sucked at the skin in your inner thighs, kindling your excitement. Spit gathered on his tongue, which he let drip down to your sex which glistened for him.

Your core begged for that feeling once again, that feeling only he could give you: the one that made you feel alive, like you weren’t just chasing some impossibility.

He lapped at you slowly with his tongue, awakening your whole body.

“I fucking want you.”

[horrorslashergirl]

Andrei and Amaria Kulokova 🐺🔪

(This shall be interesting 👀👀 and funny! Lol)

Richard Firewood

For Andrei: Richard might see Andrei as an alternative for business, when there aren't enough clients to his hotel, he might call Andrei to hide him to capture 10 or 20 people. It will be strictly business.

Richard: Cash is King. Enough said.

For Amaria: He might be on neutral territory with her as long as she respects his territory and hotel.

Richard: She better not cover the carpets of the lobby in mud.

Jackson Jasper

For Andrei: He may view Andrei as a cool guy with whom to hang around for drinks and flirt with women.

Jackson: Any drinking buddy is good company.

For Amaria: Jackson loves a pretty lady especially one who isn't afraid to get down and dirty. He likes her.

Jackson: You don't see women like her often. *smirks*

The Hacker

For Andrei: Both are fucked up into the head. Both are bloody disgusting. Both love to stick their cocks into bloody pussies. They might be on good terms... Plus if Andrei needs a certain weapon, The Hacker can provide it wirh ease.... For a good priece.

The Hacker: *looks up from his computer screen* Oh? Him? Yeah... Fucked up in the head but not as much as me. *smirks*

For Amaria: Now that's a dollface that the Hacker might like. She fucks the corpses of her victims from time to time? The Hacker does that on an almost daily basis... Almost.

The Hacker: *whistle* Pretty wild baby doll. Me like~

Dave Anthony

For Andrei: If Andrei thought he was brutal then he sure doesn't know Dave. This poltergeist was casted from both heaven and hell. Try to match that Andrei. If Andrei tries to stab or shot Dave, this evil entity will just laugh in his face and grin.

Dave: *evil smirk* Trying to kill me? *manical laugh* You cannot kill what's already dead, cocksucker... I am gonna enjoy possessing your body.

For Amaria: Now, that's something you don't usually see everyday and Dave would be intrigued by Amaria and her so called Gods. Interesting little human girl.

Dave: Oh? You believe in Gods.... Well.... I am the biggest motherfucking God ever, baby girl.

Samuel Grayson

For Andrei: The moment Samuel senses his aura he wants to puke his guts, because Andrei screams of sins all over and just his presence into the same room will annoy Samuel. Let alone Andrei trying anything with this poltergeist. Andrei will turn into a chew toy for Samuels hellhounds.

Samuel: He stinks of sin and he is a disgusting piece of walking meat on earth. *snarls*

For Amaria: Her aura is so so much more different than her brothers and to say so... Samuel is a little intrigued by her aura, sensing all the sadness from her past and there is just something about her beliefs that he finds.... Adorable?

Samuel: She is... Interesting.... But no... I am no God. These are too high words for me, little one.

Azol

For Andrei: Did I say Dave is absolutly brutal? Well Andrei... Meet Azol. This evil entity will view Andrei as the most amusing plaything ever. Ironic, huh? Much like the other supranatural ones, Azol feasts on humans desires and he will absolutly use Andrei's desires against him. He will haunt his dreams and drive him insane.

Azol: Ohhhh... You think you are brutal, piece of sloppy fucking used cunt. *chuckles evily* I am gonna have so much fun with your soul... I am sure after you die... We all are gonna fuck you into hell like the cocksucker I know you are. *laugh*

For Amaria: Azol will be amused by her beliefs into her Gods, teasing and haunting her, making her kill as many people as possible. Azol found himself new entertainment.

Azol: Oh... Never seen a human kill that much and with such a passion. *grins evilly* See that man, little one... He needs to die.... Listen to your new God and you will live on forever.

Bahini Talibah

For Andrei: Andrei is everything that Bahini hates into a man; he is despicable, horrible, disgusting, annoying, sleazy and someone she would absolutly not stand. He better not get near her or else he will suffer a slow, horrible and painfull death that will make Andei crawl on the floor in his own blood. Having your flesh and muscels be slowly melted by Bahinis piercing gaze isn't something to look forward to.

Bahini: His aura is simply making me anxious. He better stay away from me. He pisses me off!

For Amaria: Bahini might find her believe in Gods fascinating since she herself believes in the Egyptian Gods. They might have conversations about their Gods and such. Plus Amarias quiet and misterious aura is very calm and gives Bahini tranquility.

Bahini: She is a fascinating young woman... Also Anubis told me she has a beautiful and lightfull soul.

Azment

For Andrei: This demoness lust will destroy Andrei's for sure... And I advise him to not get close to her because at the end of the night he will be dead by the time he climaxes.... I mean... If he wants a horse dick up his ass that's his problem. Azment will over power him with ease.

Azment: Ohhh He sure is handsome and I can taste his lust... Such delicious carnal and mouthwatering lust.

For Amaria: Azment sees this small but deadly woman as very beautiful and she can appreciate such brutal display for passion of certain things... Like Amarias passion for Gods.

Azment: Beautiful and powerfull young human woman... Such beauty... It gives tingles down my spine. *sways her tail from side to side*

The Shadow

For Andrei: His personality and the vibe Andrei gives off is simply annoying to Shadow. Isn't it enough he has to deal with that idiot of a HACKER maniac? Now he has the stand this Russian Incompetent. He cannot work with these idiots around.

The Shadow: *looks up from cleaning his scalpels* I cannot stand this morron. He better not stick his nose into my business unless he wants to end up on my disection table.

For Amaria: She seems quiet and she keeps to herself so that is good on Shadows books. Her past might make Shadow sad because he has went through abuse too... Different but still abuse. He might be interested into her topics of Gods... Since he is one to feast on information and likes to learn about all type of topics.

The Shadow: She is... Fascinating to say so... But at last she is quiet.

Mitch Carson

For Andrei: This feral man will view Andrei as straight up enemy and he won't hesitate to turn the Russian into a raw steak, considering all that mass muscels and blood. If Andrei knows what's good for him, he better keep off Mitchs territory or else he will be the new target for crossbow practice.

Mitch: *growls, all body muscels ready for him to strike*

For Amaria: Considering her small body stature, he might be intrigued by her but still cautious, like a feral animal of the deep dark woods. If she brings him human flesh or bones for him to chew on... She Might.... Just might turn Mitch into a feral lap dog that will maim anyone who dares to touch Amaria.

Mitch: *growls then purrs at her, tilting his head to the side curiously*

Gerome Montana and Axel Friedrich

For Andrei: Army friends? Maybe? They might share some drinks some army stories. Three mercenaries sharing bloody ideas of killing. I guess. They might be on neutral relations with Andrei, but since they are in Miami and Andrei hates the heat... I doubt it. Down for a one night stand after drinks? Perhaps.

Gerome: Haha Cool Russian Crazy Dude!

Axel Friedrich: His personality is a bit too much. *groans*

For Amaria: You don't see such deadly women that often and they might find her very intirguing, but that's about it. Plus.... I don't know if she would like Miami with the heat and all that.

Gerome: Beautiful badass woman! Sexy!

Axel: *facepalms at Gerome* I suppose I can appreciate a woman who can handle such big weapons like a machete.

Damiano Liberato

For Andrei: He finds him very disgusting with no taste at all and Andrei simply makes Damiano have a horrible taste into his mouth. He cannot stand camo!

Damiano: Isn't it enough I have to stand my creator and her camo army clothing!? Now this man! I cannot believe Richard can be close to this disgusting brute. Ugh.

For Amaria: Very beautiful woman but a shame that she has no style into dressing up. Damiano finds the Kulokova siblings too.... Dirty.

Damiano: A lady shouldn't dress like that. Pants? Seriously... Just no.

Bambi Miller

For Andrei: She thinks he is a pretty cool dude with whom to share drinks and maybe have some knife throwing game. Plus, she thinks she thinks Andrei is pretty badass with his faux hawk. They might have some fun nights with drinking vodka and throwing knife at people.

Bambi: Pretty badass Russian stud. *giggles* only my knife is bigger than his. *winks*

For Amaria: Bambi thinks Amaria is very pretty and she appreciates women who can stand up for themselvs and beat the guys around. Plus her machete is so cool.

Bambi: She is very beautiful... Its true what they say that Russian women are very gorgeous.

Xaviera Lah-Mo

For Andrei: He is her ultimate and only love, so of course she simply adores Andrei. It comes natural. He is her precious and wild Wolf.... And to think that the first day they meet, Xavi wanted to throw his ass into the blizzard outside. Andrei is her soulmate and the only man she has feelings for... And the only man she won't shot with her sniper rifle into his balls.

Xaviera: He is the light of my life, the man that make me be strong with each passing day.... My wild and handsome Wolf..... My beautiful soulmate. My everything.

For Amaria: Being Andrei's sister, Xaviera cares for her and tries to calm Andrei down to think clearly when she is around. Xaviera tries to be the refere between these two without getting between their fights. Both Xavi and Amaria use a sniper rifle and Xavi would love for her sister-in-law and her to have a shooting practice together. Just enjoying some quiet time.

Xaviera: She is a hard person to understand if you don't see through her soul, you need to take your time to understand her because she means well... She is not as bad as one might think. She is just misunderstood like we all were at some point in life.

Akshay Lah-Mo

For Andrei: Andrei is Akshay's best friend and soul brother to say so; they fight, they bicker, they drink, but at the end of the day they are best friends and always there to watch eachothers backs. Akshay might seem that he hates Andrei, but if he really hated him, Andrei wouldn’t be alive.

Akshay: The mutt? Yeah... He is a good man... When he isn't his usual idiot self. *grunts*

For Amaria: Akshay knows she is Andrei's sister and that their sibling relation isn't that good. Akshay hasn't really interacted that much with Amaria but if he has to say his opinion he would say that he is beautiful and misunderstood... And very deadly for such a small woman.

Akshay: It really shows she is the mutts sister... She can maim you and your corpse would just misteriously disappear.

Decebal Avram Chirilă

For Andrei: Decebal has lots of fun with Andrei and they are two knuckleheads and daredevils. Andrei had done so much for Decebal that none has ever done and the Romanian is very gratefull for it, hench his loyality towards the Russian. Decebal didn't expected to get along with Andrei that good but he absolutly adores him... And the moments they fuck.

Decebal: Ohhhh! Vodknockers!? He is like a fun and crazy little brother... He sure has a temper which is funny. Haha *smirks* His libido matches mine and he has a great cock *laughs*

For Amaria: Decebal knows that she is the way she is because of her past and he isn't one to judge or make fun of her believs and such. Everyone can believe in whatever they want. What's the problem with that? Plus, he thinks she is very gorgeous.

Decebal: Oh? That wild woman? She is very beautiful, like hella beautiful that she could put an army of women to shame. *laughs* But seriously now... Just like Xavi said... She is only misunderstood. *soft smile*

Alexander Chirilă

For Andrei: Alexander simply feels very uncomfortable in the same room as Andrei and it doesn't help that the Russian was Alexanders first. Alexander finds it so so frustrating that Andrei has no sense of other peoples personal space, especially his.

Alexander: Oh God.... Not him again. He has no respect, he is an absolut degeranted wanker who doesn't understand the concept of personal space and he frustrates me so so much it makes me so angry. *blushing red face and huffs* But.... I suppose... Like my big brother said... He can be nice... Only I never saw that!

For Amaria: Alexander enjoys that she is quite and she seems to have some concept of other peoples personal space. Plus he is glad she isn't like her big brother... Who acts like a sexual offender. Amaria kind of reminds Alexander of one of the tallest mountains, surrounded by mist... Especially that certain quietness.

Alexander: I suppose she is alright... She seems like a very strong one with a certain specific will... And she is pretty..... B-But not like that! *blushes*

Nadia Nikolina Chirilă

For Andrei: She thinks she is a good man, on certain topics but on other hands.... She views him as a stupid kid with disgusting behaviors and most important.... A coward. If he thinks he is so mighty, why not take someone his own size or bigger, not some small and innocent woman. Andrei is only lucky because of Decebal..... Or else he would have been castrated the moment he meet Nadia. Period.

Nadia: *looks up from her painting* He is a stupid child.... But means well... On certain moments.

For Amaria: Nadia thinks that Amaria is a very intirguing and gorgeous woman, small but with a fierce spirit that will cit through you just like her machete... Nadia appreciates greatly a woman who won't take anyones shit, especially a mans. Amaria reminds Nadia of a pit of big sharp deadly ice icicle, that she saw the first month she moved into Greenland. The pit looked so so beautiful but if you stepped to close you would fall into said pit and a painfull horrible death will follow.

Nadia: Beautiful and Deadly... Such a majestic combination. *paints a womans shadow with mountains into the background*

[bisexual-horror-fan]

December 31st. New Year Sex. “Sugar To Ring In The New Year.” Stu Macher X AFAB Reader.

AYYYYYYY! 

Well here we are! The very last day of Kinky December! A huge, massive, endless amount of thanks to @horrorslashergirl​! This event was so unbeleiveably fun for me! Writing for new characters and old, well worn familar kinks and some different ones, I am so proud of myself for commiting to and doing the whole event (17 enteries! More than I initially planned!) and not being late a single day! I said “Oh it’ll be mostly drabbles” at the start but every single entry ended up being over 1k! Go me!

So we needed something BIG to finish out the event, it’s New Years afterall. Now I put a kink in here I have never publically posted (mostly because I don’t have this one personally but it fit too damn well and it can be very fun to write about so fuck it!)

But what IS it Bex?

You can thank the lovely @mostfandomstrashcan​ for the inspo. She made this post the other day-

-and I mean I HAD already planned to do Stu and give him his own solo peice since I did one for Billy and it was only fair. I mean “ape-shit”?! Lalila. How could I ever ignore THAT? I hope you all enjoy this, I spent a lotta time on it! I also may do something else with this in the future. (And of course Billy is mentioned in this because duh.) So let’s all indulge eh? Mathew Lilliard still be looking damn good, so why not? Older Sugar Daddy Stu Macher AU LET’S FUCKIN’ GO!

---

Rating. Explicit. Length. 4.2K  Warnings. Established Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby Relationship. Age Gap. Public Sex. Dirty Talk. Sex Toys. General Daddy Kink. Remote Control Vibrator. Pet Names. Praise. Dirty Talk. Mild Tempature Play. Mentions Of Kidnapping, Knifeplay, Bloodplay, Ropeplay and Poly!Ghostface. We Respect Sex Workers Of All Kinds In This House. If You Don’t? Get Out.

--

Sugar To Ring In The New Year.

---

You had spent such a long time getting ready for tonight.

But it was so very worth it. Rather, HE was so very worth it. 

You looked yourself over in the full length mirror. You looked fucking incredible. You turned slowly, admiring yourself, he had picked your outfit for tonight, paid for it himself and whatever else you needed. He told you money was no object and it certainly never seemed to be with him. 

See it was New Years eve and you had a party to attend. A very nice party, probably nicer than any you had ever been to. 

A ding from your phone, you picked it up off the nearby table. He was here. You shrugged on your coat and gave yourself one last look before grabbing your bag and heading out the door. Door locked and now in the elevator, pressing the button for the ground floor with a manicured finger. Humming lightly to yourself, looking your nails over as you descended. 

To say you were excited was an understatement. You loved getting to see him and the holidays were crazy with his line of work, you didn’t see him nearly as much as you’d have liked this past month. Soon the elevator doors slid open and out you stepped, heels clacking over the polished tiles of the lobby of the apartment building you lived in. 

You stepped out into the cold evening air of downtown, smile crossing your painted lips to see him waiting for you, leaning against the towncar hands in his coat pockets, grin widening when he saw you. 

“Hey.”

You called to him with a coy smile, he held a hand up signaling you to stop, you did, a few feet in front of him, he signalled you to turn to show him the whole look and you of course obliged. Hands in your jacket pockets, holding your coat open as you did so, letting him drink in the sight of you, a low whistle as he did so. When you were sure he was satisfied you closed the space between the two of you, hands out of your pockets now, reaching out and taking hold of the scarf he had on, hanging loosely over his jacket. 

“I reiterate. Hey.”

He held up one finger signaling you to wait as he said-

“Hang on just a second-”

One of his hands coming up and finding the back of your neck and he pulled you closer to him, his mouth capturing yours in a kiss, you gripped his scarf and tugged him closer, a soft hum from you. He broke the kiss and still so close to you he said softly,

“Hey.”

That drew a small laugh from both of you and then you let go of him, taking a step back and he opened the door for you and you teased him,

“Was that really necessary?”

“Yes. It was important.”

His hands gripping the top of the car door, he said it in such a serious tone it drew another laugh from you and a wide grin from him. 

Adorable.

You leaned over the door separating the two of you and pressed another kiss to his mouth before getting into the car. Soon he was beside you and you were off. Your hand in his and talking casually, catching up, it had been too long. 

You were recounting something funny that happened the other day at a gift exchange with friends when you caught him staring at you and you stopped, asking in that usual playful tone when you were with him,

“What? Something off with my make-up?”

“No, no, far from it. You look amazing tonight.”

Well that was so damn nice to hear, you certainly hoped so. He picked it all out afterall. You thanked him of course. And the drive passed by quickly. Soon you were being ushered inside, coats checked, and walking into the main room with him, his hand on your lower back as he led you to your table. 

“Oh we get a table?”

You joked and he pulled your chair out with a scoff,

“Of course we do, baby. Look at who you're with."

The over exaggerated gesture to himself when he said that made you snicker. Of course, how foolish, of course you get to have an actual table. He took his place next to you and had ordered you drinks in the next minute. You really enjoyed these dates out to events like this pertaining to his work, he was so in his element, different than how he was when he was totally alone with you. Conversation always flowed so easily with him and you enjoyed yourself immensely.

Drinks were brought and he held his glass up to you, that same smile you loved so much, you held up yours as well as you asked,

“And what are we toasting to?”

“Hmm how about to me having the absolute finest date here?”

How could you say no to that? You smirked as you offered up,

“So it’s to both of us really.”

“Exactly! Always so smart y/n. To us.”

Glasses clinked and you were still mid-sip when he asked it,

“So are you wearing it?”

You glanced to him, he was looking at you, pose relaxed, one elbow on the table, glass held loosely in his hand, fuck he looked good. 

See we should talk about the nature of your relationship with Stu Macher. It might be obvious to someone else looking at you two. He was significantly older than you, professional, established, very well to do. And you were the pretty young thing, always dressed to impress and on his arm for all of the events you were allowed to attend. 

The nature of your relationship was very clear, it started off a bit more business like but it quickly evolved into more than JUST that. 

“Why Mr.Macher! I have no idea to what you are referring.”

You couldn’t hold back your smile, leaning forward on your elbows, fingers laced together and tucked under your chin, a faux innocent batting of your eyelashes and he gave you a look. 

“Baby.”

That delicious tone. More serious. You gave in with a wider smile and said,

“Yes I am.”

“Good. If you didn’t admit it I was going to have to test it already.”

Your thighs pressed together under the table, you knew he was going to use it at some point, there would be no reason for you to wear it if he had no intention of using it. 

Some coworker of his came over and took some of his and took his attention, you sat next to him, patiently waiting, you were very used to this. It was more appropriate to say colleague you supposed but ultimately it didn’t matter. Fingers on the rim of your glass as you look around the well decorated room and the well dressed people. You contemplated getting some food in a minute, surprisingly hungry, but your thoughts were interrupted, a hitch in your breath as you felt it.

Your eyes flicking to Stu, you saw it, he had his phone pulled out, semi-hidden under the table, next to his thigh, you were sure he knew you could see it. He was still looking up to his co-worker, engaged in their conversation, but you saw the open app on his phone and there was no mistaking it.

In case it wasn’t obvious enough by this point. Stu Macher was your sugar Daddy. And he had some particular tastes. Taste and appetites that you helped him satisfy. That is how your arrangement initially began but it had grown into more, you were much closer but he still insisted on spoiling you, buying you things, paying for your rent and giving you an allowance. He seemingly got off on providing for you and who doesn’t love to be spoiled by someone so attentive? You weren’t going to say no. It would be cruel to deny him that frankly. 

To be perfectly fair if you had met him in some other circumstances you were certain you would have pursued him. He was nice and sweet, so fucking handsome, funny, there was so much more to him than what he could provide financially. 

Things were so good.

So what about tonight? And what was going on right now? Stu loved getting up to all kinds of filthy things with you. One of his favorites was doing things in public spaces with the risk of getting caught. He had sent the bags over earlier with your outfit for tonight. Along with the dress and make-up and accessories and shoes, he provided the lingerie for you to wear under your dress and the panties were very important. You recalled that text he sent you that afternoon and the instructions. You followed them to the letter. The panties had this perfect little pocket in them to slip in a remote control vibe. The one he was controlling on the app on his phone right now. While you were less than two feet from his coworker. 

You swallowed hard and gripped your glass, attempting to breath evenly, managing to quell the moan attempting to break free. He didn’t make it easy. Your eyes peaked at his phone and watched as he manipulated the controls with one hand, increasing and decreasing the vibration. You were thankful for the loud overall party atmosphere covering up the sound of it. 

A bite of your bottom lip, eyes breaking away, focusing on the table in front of you, trying to take deep breaths and mercifully it stopped. You let out a sigh and looked over to Stu who was looking at you with a grin, his coworker gone His hand fell to your knee and he squeezed as he praised, 

“Good job. You didn’t give yourself away at all.”

“Thank you.”

You took a sip and felt a bit of pride, until he said,

“Guess I’ll just have to try harder.”

Fuck.

You sighed again and took a healthy swallow from your glass.

Really by now you should be used to this. You had prepared yourself for the fact he’d want to use it in public because I mean of course he would, however you should have also been ready for the fact that he would make it as difficult as possible on you. 

That reminded you to ask.

“So where’s Billy tonight?”

He squeezed your knee again before letting go and picking up his glass again as he responded,

“A different party. Shame he couldn’t come but he had his own thing and I could only bring one guest with me.”

Makes sense. They were in different lines of work after all. It had been a while since you last got to see him. See that was another interesting angle to this arrangement. So you had met Stu with the understanding of your arrangement, the initial process went great, you seemed compatible. Multiple dates, he paid for all and spoiled you and of fucking course the sex was incredible. A little ways into it you remembered him sitting you down and bringing forth the idea of it, that he had a friend, his best friend, they were very close, he loved to share and wanted to share you with him. 

You were open to it and met him and were so thankful that you did. He was equally attractive, a good job, not exactly as high profile as Stu’s but he seemed more than comfortable. One of the things you liked best was how Stu acted around him, more relaxed, you found out they went way, way back and seeing the other side of Stu? Amazing. Made you like him a lot more, might have made you fall for him a little sooner. 

Turns out sex with Billy was pretty fucking great too. You remember the first full weekend away with them to really test the dynamic and it was unreasonably fun. Hot, boundary pushing. They had to be sure about you before trying out what they really wanted. A rented house and a complex role play. It was all discussed beforehand, limits, safe words, signals, the whole nine. You pretend to stay there alone. A phone call, they ‘break in’, there was costumes and ropes and knives and fucking Christ why did you LIKE it so much? 

The memories of that weekend were some of your favorites.

It couldn’t have gone better and yep they wanted to ‘keep you’ and you wanted that too more than anything. Basically the whole time you saw Stu you only saw him. Not like you needed to see anyone else, he more than took care of your monetary needs, emotional and sexual needs being satisfied by him were a give in. Now add Billy as a regular guest in your life and you were fucking set. 

You smiled as you teased him, keeping it light as ever, you were sure with whatever he had in mind the mood wouldn’t stay that way forever,

“And you decided to bring me? I’m so flattered.”

He scoffed with a smile, obviously he was going to bring you, he felt no need to say it though so instead he said,

“Finish your drink.”

“That an order, Stu?”

You asked as you picked up your glass and as you started to drink, eyes falling closed as you did and what happened next almost made you choke, while you were distracted for that moment he turned the vibe back on. His phone was out on the table and he had flicked it back on easily. You managed to swallow your mouthful and threw a look to him, he had finished his own drink now, staring you down. You wanted to ask ‘what the fuck?’ but he spoke first,

“Why are you calling me that?”

You watched as his fingers lingered on his phone screen, turning it up slowly and you swallowed your moan, one of your hands was gripping the cloth napkin in front of your place setting. You forced yourself to respond,

“Because we are in public. At a work event. It’s yo-o-our rule.”

You almost broke but managed to hold strong even as he nudged it higher still, fuck you almost wanted to shake, pleasure simmering low inside of you. 

“Hmm it’s a special occasion. Indulge me.”

He was leaning much closer to you, face inches from yours, you wanted to kiss him, a bite of your bottom lip and you whispered it, low enough just for him to hear, indulging him just as he wanted,

“Of course, Daddy.”

You actually pulsed when you said it. Not just because of him still having the toy turned up but from breaking this previous hard and fast rule of his, saying this in public at a work event. That smile alone made it worth it. The kiss he gave you afterwards, forget about it. 

The rest of the night was too fun. 

More drinks, amazing food and he kept teasing you on and off. 

The range on that thing was unreal. 

At one point you were coming back from the bathroom, and once you were in his line of sigh he turned it on and watched you almost stumble on your way back to the table. He was still laughing a little when you hit him playfully on the shoulder and mouthed ‘stop!’ he of course, did not. 

Picking the worst times, when you were in the middle of eating or drinking, at one point when you were dancing. You thanked God he was right there, it went from fully off to full tilt and you would have dropped were it not for him holding you up. 

Eventually you ran into a friend you knew from sugaring. Both you and her standing near the table, casual conversation, it was nice, you hadn’t seen her in a while,

“So you here with-?”

Unlike you having just Stu she had a few regulars in rotation, you offered it up, question open ended and she rolled her eyes,

“Dickhead. I mean-”

Covering her mouth with her hand with a laugh that you joined in on before both saying,

“Dickinson.”

She had told you about him. While he paid great money he kinda sucked. 

“Why’d you agree? I know you have other options, why spend New Years with that-”

And you were so caught off guard. Not expecting it at all, you nearly dropped your drink and couldn’t stifle the moan this time, you managed to quiet it but not completely. You took a deep breath and looked around, trying to find where he was, nowhere in sight, your friend reached out, hand on your shoulder,

“Jesus, you good? What’s wrong?”

You swallowed hard and looked over to her, trying to keep your breathing steady,

“Fuck it. So-”

And you filled her in, telling her all about what was going on and the naughty secret you had currently concealed in your panties and the game he was playing with you. 

“Ugh see you are so lucky! He’s so good to you, so playful, he always has fun shit for you two to do together.”

It was fun. Even as you were struggling standing here, he never settled on one pattern or strength for long, constantly mixing it up, not letting you adjust at any point. You understood her jealousy, I mean if you didn’t have him and had to watch someone else parade around with him you were certain that you could feel similar. 

Finally the pleasure ceased as the toy turned off, you were so wet by this point you could feel it on your thighs, thank God for the length of the dress he chose. 

You looked to your friend who seemed to be looking behind you, big smile, you felt him before seeing him, his hand on your lower back, he knew your friend obviously and greeted her,

“Hello. Keeping her company for me?”

“Of course Mr.Macher. Great suit tonight by the way.”

You didn’t mind if your friend flirted with him and you kind of like when he would flirt back, he didn’t do it super overtly but he did compliment her in kind, she looked great herself, before he asked,

“Thank you so much, do mind if I steal her?”

“By all means. See you later.”

And then he was leading you away. Away from the party and down one of the hallways lined with office doors, not fully lit up since no one was working. Hand in hand as he asked,

“I’ve never actually showed you my office, have I?”

Surprisingly he had not. You shook your head and he stopped in front of one of the doors before pushing it open,

“A damn shame truly. C’mon.”

You jumped at the chance. You knew how to behave at one of these events but you were desperate by this point. Aching with need. You wanted him so much, he was too good at arousing you. The light touches and teasing, the things he whispered to you tonight when no one was in earshot, and of course using that damn vibe on you. 

You would have been more impressed with his office if you weren’t so preoccupied. You walked around slowly, you had your mind on one thing, that big beautiful desk. You were certain you were going to get bent over the side of it and thrown down on top of it. You turned to see where he was and he was on you, hands on your waist and you were backed up into that desk, sat on top of it. Far enough away from the party you allowed yourself to let go, moaning against his mouth. 

“You did so good in there, baby.”

“Mmf thank you.”

You had your hands gripping the lapels of his suit jacket, pulling him closer, his hands on either side of you on the top of his desk, you couldn’t help yourself now that you had him alone, kissing him so passionately. 

He pulled away too soon and took a step back, discarding his jacket, throwing it over the desk, rolling his sleeves up as he said, 

“Pull that dress up. Let me see.”

You obliged all too quickly. Jesus he looked so good. Hands scrambling to pull your dress up, hands in the folds of the fabric, hiking it up your legs, eventually hands on the hem you held it up, legs spread.  One of his hands on your inner thighs as he looked,

“Fuck, baby. You’re soaked.”

A nod, hips pushing out a little further, wanting his hand higher, wishing he would touch you. His fingers brushed over you and your head fell back with a moan,

“Need it bad, hmm?”

You responded quickly, breathy,

“Ye-yes Daddy Please?”

Then both of his hands were on you, hauling you up onto your heels. 

“Keep holding your dress for me, baby.”

You could only nod and you expected to be forced over the desk but no, that’d be too easy, instead you were pulled over to the window. He was right behind you, he took your hands and pressed them flat to the glass and whispered in your ear,

“Nice view, isn’t it?”

You looked out the window and it certainly was. Downtown, late at night, high up, what floor was this? You wondered what he was getting up to, hands on the straps of your dress, sliding them down off your shoulders, what he wanted was made clear and your breath hitched as he said it,

“Think anyone could see us up here?”

He noticed how it affected your breathing, his mouth ghosted over the side of your throat, and he chuckled before saying, 

“Oh I think you like that idea.”

Hands trailed down your arms and sides and then his fingers found your panties and slid them down, you let them pool at your feet and he encouraged you to step out of them, he kicked them aside. One hand sliding down your stomach, your hands twisting in the fabric of your skirt and soon his hand was between your thighs, strong fingers dragging through your folds and you moaned. 

“Do you want something to see you like this?”

His fingers circled your clit and his opposite hand tugged down your dress further, bunched around your waist, straps still on, holding your arms to your sides, hands still on the glass. You were sure you were fogging up the glass but who fucking cares when he makes you feel like this.

“Well since you indulged me earlier than allow me to do the same.”

And then he pressed you forward, you almost yelped, it was winter, the glass was freezing, he let out a small laugh from your reaction, 

“Cold?”

“Very! Fuck-”

You pushed and tried to back up but he kept you pressed there, he tsk’d before saying,

“Now, now baby. If you want it-”

He rubbed your clit harder and you squirmed against him,

“-and I think you do. Then you are going to stay right here. Understood?”

You relented and he eased off, only to dispose of his pants, you listened to the jingle of his belt and soon he was back on you. One hand on your shoulder and one hand under your thigh, adjusting your leg just so and soon you were blessed with the feeling of him splitting you open. The stretch was wonderful and you moaned long and low forehead pressed to the glass. He only held in you for a moment before he began moving, and it practically already had you panting. 

“Filthy. This how you like to celebrate? Getting fucked out in the open? Praying someone sees you?”

All you could do was moan out yes, over and over in time with how he fucked you. The thought, how he spoke to you and of course again, how fucking wonderful it felt. 

“I loved watching you struggle. Trying to act normal and proper, you did so fucking good for me baby. So proud of you.”

This is the best. Treating you like this, taking you like this, so open and rough and possessive while still lavishing praise over you. Pushing back onto him, completely lost in it, hardly registering what he was saying but you caught bits and pieces, like this next part-

“I’ll try not to mess you up too bad. No promises though. Still have to go back out there-”

And that is what did you in. The thought of having to go back out there. Acting normal, like you didn’t just get fucked against his office window like a whore, trying to look and act every part of the prim little arm candy his office had gotten to know while his cum leaked down your thighs under your dress. That is the thought that finally made you cum, thankful he had you pinned to the window or you would be on the floor. Breathing so hard on your come down, he paused, buried all the way inside, a harsh grind as he whispered in your ear,

“Happy New Years Baby.”

You couldn’t hold back your laugh as you replied, still breathless,

“Happy New Years Daddy.”

What a way to ring in the New Year.

[musette22]

You Make My Heart Skip A Beet

You Make My Heart Skip a Beet

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes (Stucky)

Word count: 3.8k

Rating: Teen and Up

A/N: Based on this lovely prompt by @greyhoundsgirl​. I have to be honest here, I’ve never actually seen Top Chef though so I thought it would be safer to make up a new fictional amateur cooking competition which I’ve titled Chef Wars :p 

No warnings to speak of, apart from maybe for awful food puns, but it is a bit of a cracky piece, and it’s in Sam POV (poor guy). Hope you enjoy!! 💗 Huge thanks to the amazing @rainbowsandcoconut​ for brainstorming, food puns and awesome beta’ing, as usual 😘

Read on AO3

Summary:

“I made soda bread.”

Steve lets out the 6’2” supersoldier equivalent of a squeak. “Oh, I love soda bread,” he says eagerly, rolling forward on the balls of his feet like he does when he gets excited. “My mom used to make it all the time when I was growing up.”

The tips of Barnes’s ears turn red, and he mutters something that sounds suspiciously like, “I know.”

****************************

When Sam and Steve had first been approached about being guest judges on an Avengers-themed special of Chef Wars, they’d spent a full fifteen minutes jumping around the common room in the Tower like a pair of overgrown kids on a sugar high.

Guest judges. On Chef Wars.

It so happens that Sam and Steve watch Chef Wars religiously. In fact, Steve even mentioned this in passing in one or two of his more recent interviews when asked how Captain America likes to spend his downtime, which is probably how the show’s executives had thought to invite them in the first place.

Sam’s love for cooking and cooking shows was passed down to him by his mother Darlene, and he, in turn, passed it on to Captain America – though if you’d told ten-year-old Sam that, he would’ve thought you were nuts. Poor Steve isn’t exactly the culinary sort of guy himself, but once Sam started turning up on his doorstep three nights a week to keep him company and make sure he didn’t sink further into depression, he’d slowly started to enjoy the shows Sam insisted on watching with him. Sam figured the familiarity of the actions and the low stakes of an amateur cooking competition would be perfectly suited to someone trying to integrate into a new century, while still being just exciting enough to hold the attention of an adrenaline junkie like Steve.

And he was right. So now, every Thursday night, the two of them chill on Steve’s couch, yelling at the TV and pretending they‘d do a better job of it than the contestants. Which, to be fair, Sam probably would, but Steve decidedly would not. What Steve lacks in culinary skills, though, he more than makes up for with his crazy supersoldier metabolism, rivaled only by the Other Guy and sometimes Thor, once he’s cracked open the mead. Steve can eat, and he does so with relish.

So needless to say, when they got the invite, they’d both jumped at the chance. Who wouldn’t, when presented with the opportunity to do the thing they did every Thursday night for funsies, but this time for realsies? And after weeks of giddy anticipation, today is finally the day.

Filming day.

The whole thing had gotten off to an excellent start. The sun was shining, Steve had actually been whistling on their way to the studio instead of nervously drumming his fingers on the dashboard (something which got on Sam’s nerves like nothing else), and they’d been offered some quality Italian espresso when they arrived. The show got on the road as soon as they’d gotten a quick tour of the studio, and after lights, camera, action, the contestants were introduced one by one.

There is Bernadette, a Missouri housewife who turned out to be somewhat of a BBQ expert and who reminds Sam of his Aunt Jenna; there’s Bob, a big, burly dude from Kentucky who wouldn’t look amiss on a Pro Wrestling show but who ends up surprising them all with a surprisingly delicate edible flower-dish dedicated to his lovely wife; and Yulia, a tiny, fierce girl from Bulgaria with some mean knife skills who Sam suspects could very well be a distant relative of Natasha’s.

And then there’s Bucky Barnes.

Bucky Barnes is a thirty-one-year-old physical therapist from Brooklyn who’s looking to change careers and get into the restaurant business full time. He has that whole hipster vibe going on: long, meticulously conditioned chestnut hair in a messy top knot, designer stubble, sleeve of – admittedly awesome – tattoos on his left arm. His cool, blue eyes and sharp cheekbones give him a model-like appearance, and yet there’s something soft and disarming about him.

Steve certainly seems to think so, at least.

The moment Barnes came walking through those glass doors, Sam heard Steve suck in a sharp breath at his side. A quick glance at Steve’s slack-jawed expression told Sam all he needed to know, since the dude is about as subtle as a sledgehammer. He’d elbowed Steve in the side until he looked over and pretended to wipe some drool from the corner of his mouth. Steve’s eyes went wide as he hastily mirrored the movement, missing the joke by about fifty yards. Oh, boy.

From that moment onward, Steve’s brain seemed to have gone through a blender, turning it into a rainbow smoothie – which was pretty unfortunate, considering they were going to have to interact with the contestants in a way that was suitable for daytime television.

The thing is, Steve is not exactly what you’d call a people person at the best of times. He’s fine with someone he’s known for a while and feels comfortable with, but with strangers he’s just… a little awkward. Credit where credit’s due, Steve is one of the most loyal, sweet, funny and whip-smart guys Sam has ever known – and let’s not forget stubborn as hell – but he’s also very, very bad at social cues. It’s not his fault, of course. Steve had gone from growing up pretty isolated without any real friends to speak of, to suddenly spending years surrounded only by his army buddies, which wasn’t at all representative for how normal people interacted with each other (Sam knows this from experience).

While Steve’s many social faux-pas are an endless source of entertainment for Sam, he’s not a total asshole, and he has tried to help Steve practice his social skills. Unfortunately, giving him well-meaning advice like “just be yourself” seems to be a sure-fire way to ensure Steve will put his foot in his mouth somehow.

That’s why Steve prefers to put on his Cap persona for public interactions. When he’s Captain America instead of Steve Rogers, all he has to do is look commanding and sort of friendly and say bland things like “I’m very happy to be here” and “You did well, son” and no one would be any the wiser that beneath that righteous exterior, Steve was floundering and wondering when he could reasonably leave whatever social engagement Pepper had sweet-talked him into attending, and head home to the comfort of his armchair and his sketchbook.

For today’s engagement, Steve had wisely adopted this approach as well, and the fact that he was genuinely excited to be there helped to loosen him up a little – so really, it should’ve all been fine.

But then Bucky Barnes from Brooklyn walked into the room and turned his big, blue eyes in Steve’s direction, and Steve promptly seemed to forget who or what a Captain America even was.

So far, Steve has already missed his cue twice, and it’s taken Sam stepping on his toes to get him to focus. To be fair, though, Steve puts in a valiant effort to pull himself together, managing to ooh and aah in all the right places when talking to the other candidates – sheer dumb luck, if you ask Sam. But as Steve’s best friend and confidante, Sam sees right through it. He hasn’t missed the way Steve’s gaze keeps drifting in Barnes’ direction, and coupled with the blush creeping up the back of Steve’s neck whenever Barnes’s eyes meet his, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Cap has got himself a Manhattan-sized crush.

Now, most people probably aren’t aware that Captain America is also attracted to men, but Sam has a feeling that by the end of this episode, that cat will be most definitely out of the closet. Steve’s never purposely hid his sexuality; it was more of a question of it never having come up yet. It sure as hell has come up now.

And what makes this even better is that Barnes is just as bad. He stuttered his way through his introduction, very obviously starstruck at meeting Captain America, but also very obviously gay as hell for him, if the way his eyes lingered on Steve’s chest and thighs is any indication. Sam, for his part, is incredibly amused by it all. Not only does he get to be on the set of his favorite cooking show, he also gets to rib Steve, throwing in as many food puns as he possibly can – most of which go over Steve’s head because he’s too busy drooling over Barnes. Sam’s wit is wasted on his friends.

Then, it’s time to judge. In the first round, the contestants are supposed to make something which represents why they got into cooking in the first place.

Sam can feel Steve practically vibrate with nerves at his side as they walk up to Barnes’ station. Feeling magnanimous, Sam decides to have mercy on his muscly pal and take the lead on this one.

“Mr. Barnes,” he says, giving Barnes an encouraging smile. “Tell us about your dish, if you please.”

“Call me Bucky,” Barnes says, returning the gesture with a quick quirk of his lips.

Next to him, Steve repeats the name in a whisper, most likely unaware that he’s even doing it.

Sam has to bite down on the inside of his cheek to keep from smirking.

*****

Bucky’s confessional

“I grew up in Brooklyn, as the eldest of five kids. My dad left when I was fifteen, and while I was still in school, my mom had to work three jobs to provide for us all. She wasn’t home much, so it was kind of up to me to make sure dinner was on the table most nights.”

Bucky plucks at the seam of his black skinny jeans, lost in thought. “I think that’s why my specialty is comfort food. Nothing unnecessary, just hearty, nutritious food, y’know?” With a tilt of his head, he adds, “Although since all my siblings moved into their own places I’ve been cooking mostly for myself and my cat, so I’ve been experimenting with adding some twists to my tried and tested recipes.” He laughs, right hand clasping the back of his neck in a bashful gesture. “I’ve had… mixed success. Luckily Alpine has loved all of it. She’s my cat.”

“My first dish today is Irish soda bread with sage butter and Himalayan sea salt,” Bucky continues. “Bread was something we could never have enough of in our household. Five growing kids, y’know? And also, um...” A slight blush creeps its way onto Bucky’s cheeks, his eyes flitting around nervously. “Well, I guess you could say I used to be a bit of a history nerd growing up. I was super interested in World War II, particularly, uh, Captain America.” His blush deepens, spreading upwards from the neckline of his white t-shirt to the tips of his pierced ears.

“I, uh, I basically read every Steve Rogers biography I could get my hands on, which is why I learned to make things like soda bread because, y’know, Steve Rogers was Irish. Is Irish,” he corrects himself. Bucky’s eyes glaze over, taking on a faraway look. “Man, I couldn’t believe it when Cap was found a few years ago,” he marvels, “and alive. I don’t think I slept for a week after I found out.” He stares into space for a moment before shaking himself. He clears his throat, eyes refocusing on the person behind the camera. “Anyway, so when I heard that Chef Wars was doing an Avengers-themed special, I immediately applied because Steve – Cap, I mean- Captain America. Um. Yeah, so Cap mentioned in a few of his interviews that he watches Chef Wars, so I figured there would be a good chance he’d be watching this one too, you know? And then I got the email that I’d been selected and that he was going to be the one judging us, and I just…” Bucky trails off, looking a little faint, the blood draining from his face as quickly as it had risen.

“God, I just can’t believe I’ll finally get to see him in the flesh.” His eyes widen. “In person, I mean," he hastily amends. "And I’m excited about my dishes too, of course. I really hope Cap will like them. And the Falcon. Him, too. Yeah.”

*****

“I made soda bread.”

Steve lets out the 6’2” supersoldier equivalent of a squeak. “Oh, I love soda bread,” he says eagerly, rolling forward on the balls of his feet like he does when he gets excited. “My mom used to make it all the time when I was growing up.”

The tips of Barnes’s ears turn red, and he mutters something that sounds suspiciously like, “I know.”

When Steve puts a piece of bread into his mouth and chews slowly, he sniffs, eyes turning a little watery. “It tastes exactly like my mom’s,” he says in a hushed voice, sounding like he can’t quite believe his taste buds. Sam pats Steve’s back consolingly, before scooping up some sage butter with his own piece of bread and taking an enthusiastic bite.

“Hmm, nice,” he says, giving Barnes an appreciative nod. “And the butter? You make that yourself, too?”

“You butter believe it,” Barnes replies, then immediately looks horrified, like he can’t believe he made a pun that bad on national television.

Sam cackles, holding out his fist for Barnes to bump. When Barnes has recovered enough to return the gesture with his left hand, Steve stares longingly at their touching hands, before letting his gaze trail over the tattoos on Barnes’ exposed forearm. Since he's not exactly subtle about it, Barnes catches him looking and gives Steve a tentative smile when their eyes meet. Steve chokes on absolutely nothing and launches into an impromptu coughing fit. “Crumbs,” he wheezes, thumping a massive fist on his massive chest, “wrong pipe.”

Sam just smirks at him, before turning back to Barnes. “That was delicious,” he tells him. “Can’t wait for your next dish, man.”

“Really, really, good,” Steve chimes in once he’s caught his breath. “Well done, Bucky.”

Barnes goes as red as a tomato, eyes trained on the floor as he awkwardly shifts from foot to foot. “Thank you, Captain.”

“Steve, please,” Steve implores.

Barnes bites his lip, looking up at Steve through his lashes. “Thanks, Steve.”

Sam's pretty sure Steve stops breathing altogether right then. Christ, it’s like there’s an electrical current running between the two of them, the air crackling with it. Thunderbolts and lighting, very very nauseating.

Sam claps his hands. “Right,” he says loudly, “moving on to the next contestant now… Yulia, what have you prepared for us?”

*****

By the time the second round rolls around, Steve has had a series of meltdowns and Sam has spent precious time he could’ve been exploring the set and taking pics for his mom on talking Steve out of a bathroom stall. Damn, he’s a good friend. It takes all of Sam’s VA-honed therapist skills to convince Steve that he’s doing fine, he’s not embarrassing himself, and no one but Sam has noticed Steve’s massive heart boner for Barnes yet. Sam actually isn’t entirely positive about that last one – or the first two for that matter – but Steve doesn’t need to know that. There are still two rounds to go.

In the second round, contestants are asked to make a dish that represents who they are as a person.

While the contestants are cooking up a metaphorical storm, Sam and Steve walk around their stations to chat with everyone some more, camera crew on their heels. Steve manages to get out at least three complete sentences, and Bernadette and Bob are too in awe of him to notice the few times he says something that doesn’t actually make any sense. Yulia has given no indication that she even knows who either of them are, and Sam can practically feel the relief radiating off of Steve. He guesses that’s part of why he and Natasha get on so well.

When they round on Barnes’ station, Barnes has just started seasoning his dish. There’s a checkered dishcloth slung over his right shoulder and a focused look on his face, which turns into one of low-key stress the moment he spots Steve and Sam coming towards him. Leaning his hip against the counter, Sam settles in to watch Steve make a fool of himself. He's not disappointed.

“Wow,” Steve says inanely, gesturing in the direction of Barnes’ hands. “That’s- you’re- you’re really good at that.”

Barnes pauses his turning of the peppermill to give Steve a slightly panicked look. “At… grinding?”

At Steve’s strangled cough, Barnes seems to realize what he just said, his bewildered expression morphing into one of abject mortification. The poor guy looks like he’d very much like the ground to swallow him whole right about now.

Honestly, these two deserve each other.

When they've finished chatting to everyone and it’s time to taste, Barnes is asked to explain his dish and how it represents him. He seems to have pulled himself together somewhat since their last encounter, his stance a little more confident now and his eyes only drifting to Steve’s pecs every other sentence.

“I’m a simple guy,” he tells them, somehow managing to make it sound genuine instead of cliché. “I enjoy the little things in life. I like taking care of people, making them feel good and comfortable, and I think that’s reflected in my cooking. I enjoy making comfort food, the hale and hearty stuff.” He licks his lips, meaningfully adding, “Although, don’t get me wrong. I do indulge occasionally. I’ve got my guilty pleasures same as everyone else, y'know?” That last part is directed at Steve, who nods dazedly, like he knows exactly what Barnes means. Gross.

“So I guess you could say you’re just… arugula guy?” Sam grins, cheerfully ignoring the growing sexual tension.

Barnes stares at him for a beat, and then snorts. “You know what?” he says, returning Sam's grin, “the s’more I get to know you, the s’more I like you.”

Sam has a very real moment where he thinks he might actually fall in love with this guy himself. It’s only Steve’s doe-eyed look that keeps him from proposing to Barnes there and then. Okay, and maybe the fact that Barnes is clearly smitten with Steve, and also Sam is straight and very happily dating Nat, who would not hesitate to gut him if he decided to elope with some pasty hipster dude.

Barnes’ dish – mac and cheese with black truffle and locally sourced cheeses and fancy cuts of bacon – is mouthwateringly good, and Sam tells him as much. Using appropriate words to do so. You know, like a normal person.

Steve, on the other hand, moans loudly around his bite and then, mouth still full, he blurts, “That’s exactly what I thought you’d taste like.”

In the painfully awkward silence that follows, Steve and Barnes blush so hard the combined heat of their flaming cheeks could probably power most of New York City. This time, Sam can’t contain his laughter. He crows as he gleefully slaps his thighs, and even some of the crew is hiding having a hard time staying professional in the face of such blatant dumbassery.

Shaking his head, Sam grabs Steve by the bicep and herds him towards the backroom. “Come on, Casanova,” he says. “Let’s get you some ice for those burns.”

*****

For dessert, Barnes goes all out.

He actually makes Captain America cake pops, shaped and decorated like Steve’s shield with blue, red and white frosting. Steve’s eyes almost bug out of his head when he sees them. Barnes explains how they’re “sort of an adult version” of normal cake pops, which makes Sam raise an eyebrow. He’s been on the internet. He unfortunately has seen adult versions of all kinds of Captain America paraphernalia. Fortunately, Barnes just means that his cake pops have some sort of liquor in the center, “for a punch, you know?”

The starry-eyed look Steve gives Barnes clearly conveys just how clever he thinks that is, and Sam surreptitiously rolls his eyes. No game whatsoever, either of them.

“I’ve never had a cake pop before,” Steve says, carefully picking up one of the treats and inspecting it curiously.

“Oh,” Barnes says, blinking at him. “Well, normally you’d eat them in one go, but these are a bit bigger than usual because of the shape of the shield, so you probably won’t be able to fit -”

The rest of his sentence sort of peters off into a stunned silence as Steve proceeds to stick a whole-ass giant cake pop in his mouth in one go, letting out an appreciative grunt as he chews and then swallows.

Barnes’s mouth goes slack. “Oh my god,” he breathes, his eyes glazing over, and Sam cracks up. Again.

The cake pops are actually surprisingly good, despite their garish (sorry, Steve) appearance, and then it’s time to retreat and deliberate. As was to be expected, Steve has a crisis of conscience.

“I can’t vote for him just because he made my mom’s soda bread and he practically raised his baby sisters by himself and he cooks for his cat and he has pretty eyes, Sam!” he laments, voice muffled into his massive forearms. Sam makes the filming crew promise not to air this bit. It takes some doing, but finally Sam manages to convince Steve that Barnes’s food was simply the best. Better than all the rest. He even does a little Tina impression to get his point across, and that seems to do it.

When they announce the winner, Barnes smiles so wide it transforms his whole face and makes Steve melt into a puddle of Gü.

Sam has to nudge Steve again to get him to say his line, since he’s too busy mooning over Barnes to notice the autocue changing. “Ah, yes!” Steve says loudly. “First prize is a substantial sum of money, sponsored by Tony Stark, which we hope will go towards opening your own restaurant–"

“… and a weekend stay at Avengers Tower, also sponsored by Tony!”

Steve’s head whips around to him in surprise. Sam winks at him. “Including a private tour of the premises by none other than Captain America himself. Isn’t that right, Steven?”

A beat of silence, and then Steve.exe starts back up. "Right,” he nods, drawing out the word. “Yes. That’s right.” Sam pats his arm. Good man.

Stepping forward, Steve takes Barnes’ hand and shakes it slowly. “Congratulations, Bucky. I look forward to seeing you again soon," he says, adding, after a quick, bracing inhale, “and maybe when you visit, I can make my mom’s stew for you? If- if you like?”

Sam feels a surge of pride. Look at Steve go, being something almost in the vicinity of smooth.

Barnes laps it up, beaming at Steve. “I’d really love that,” he says in a low voice, still holding Steve's hand. “I’m sure you’re delicious.” His eyes widen. “It’s delicious. The stew – not- not-" Abruptly, Barnes stops babbling, then seems to come to a decision. “Oh, fuck it,” he mutters, and pulls Steve towards him, crashing their mouths together in a scorching kiss.

Over the noise of the assembled crowd's whoops and cheers, Sam gleefully calls, “And that, my friends, is a wrap!”

[2996-sana]

Seeking Arrangement - Rosé

Part 1

The pitter patter of the rain served as background noise for Y/N and Lisa who was sat on their couch munching on some cucumbers, eyes glued to the Kdrama playing on the TV. Y/N let out a dramatic sigh as she watches Ko Moonyoung and Moon Gangtae lock lips for the first time. The sound was not lost on her best friend who shot her a grin.

“Are you going all soft again, Y/N?”

Y/N rolled her eyes at the teasing tone in Lisa’s voice. This was not new as she was always on the receiving end of Lisa’s jokes about her being such a hopeless romantic. Though Lisa found this amusing about her best friend, she thinks there is strength in Y/N’s ability to believe in love after the shit her ex-girlfriend Suzy put her through. Could you really blame her? Being in love was without a doubt one of the best feelings in the world in Y/N’s book. For her, it was an overwhelming yet warm feeling that stretches throughout your whole body once it enters your life and leaves you feeling like you’re on top of the world (but its all fun and games until your partner cheats on you).

Despite this though, she was not in a hurry to find love. In fact, after the tragedy that was her last relationship, she just wanted to lie low and have fun for a while.

“Shut up. You’re lucky you’re in a stable relationship,” Y/N scoffs.

Lisa and her girlfriend Jennie have been together for 2 years now (3 years next month) and Y/N envied the love shared between the two.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. No one can resist you for too long,” Lisa tries to reassure her best friend, wrapping an arm around her.

Y/N grimaced, “Eh…I don’t really want anything serious at the moment. Especially after Suzy.”

Lisa pretends to gag at the sound of Y/N’s ex-girlfriend’s name, “I agree. Have fun and take it easy. You should like…I don’t know…find a sugar daddy or something.” They both chuckle at Lisa’s words, knowing she would never even think about it.

•

It was hours later on her bed while typing out a reply to some guy she matched on Tinder that she realizes how hard it was to find a worthy candidate to waste her time on. These boys lacked substance and were coming at her with the same pick-up lines. She wonders if they all got them at the same Fuckboy Convention. It didn’t help that she rarely matched with girls either.

She groans at the reply that came through.

Wyd tho? U tryna fuck?

“The audacity of these boys,” she mutters under her breath, closing the app.

As she stares at her ceiling zoning out, she remembers Lisa’s words from hours ago. A sugar daddy. She laughs at her best friend’s ridiculous idea. She could never.

Unless? No. It’s stupid. She doesn’t wanna give out any sugar AT ALL.

But she was bored out of her mind. For the past 3 months, she has been cooped up in her bed wallowing in self-pity while listening to the very suspicious sounds coming out of Lisa’s room. There were also only so many pep-talks she could give herself until she grew tired of her own words. It was this that fueled her to sit up and turn on her laptop. After all, she considered boredom as an invitation for her to find something that would raise her serotonin levels. And what is the value of life without a little fun? She owed herself the first few months of her breakup to relax and take care of herself after all the mental damage, but now she needed a little play. She needed both the loud and quiet joys of life, peace with a little bit of wild mixed in. It was needed to feed her soul.

She also couldn’t lie that she craved some sort of human connection and validation. Yeah, she definitely was not proud of that last one.

Y/N stared at the keyboard, not believing what she was able to type into Google.

How to find a sugar daddy?

What she found out during her deep dive in the wondrous world of sugar daddies and babies was the number one site to find one was called Seeking Arrangement.  

So that is where she found herself, blinking at the statement written in bold.

100% Free to Join!

To hell with it, she thinks as she begins to fill out the application.

30 minutes later, she nods in approval as she scanned through the photos she chose. She would totally hit herself up if she was a sad middle-aged man desperate for companionship. As she hits submit, she was met with pictures of men – and surprisingly women, although there were considerably more men – complete with their basic information.

Looking for a woman to spoil.

Looking for love.

Looking for a loving companion.

Looking for a good time.

It was nothing she didn’t expect to find at a sugar baby site but it was the net worth of the men and women displayed on her screen that caught her eye. She was almost tempted to message one of them but couldn’t find it in herself to do so. She rolls her eyes at the thought.

She spent hours researching and signing up for a sugar baby website and she still finds herself being stubborn about making the first move.

Glancing at the clock, she realized that it was almost 4AM. She decides that she was going to wait for someone to message her first instead. Besides it gives off the vibe that she’s hard to get and that’s always a little bit sexy, right?

•

"Y/N! Wake up! I made banana pancakes.”

Slowly opening her eyes and stretching, her foot meets a hard surface. The cold metallic feeling on her foot was enough to remind her of her antics 7 hours ago. She hides her face on her hands, sighing. Why did she think that was a good idea?

Once she was out of her room, she was met with the sweet smell of banana pancakes and nutella. She dragged herself to where the smell was most present and found herself in the kitchen where both Lisa and Jennie sat on the counter. Jennie threw a gummy smile her way while her best friend simply nodded at her presence, busy stuffing herself with her girlfriend’s banana pancakes.

“Vas happenin’, love birds?” she greets them with a faux British accent.

“What kind of dollar store Zayn Malik am I hearing right now?” came Lisa’s reply to which Y/N’s response was to smear Nutella all over her best friend’s face.

“Yah, Y/N!” Lisa whines as she hits Y/N on the shoulder.

Y/N gasps as she prepares to retaliate.

“Children! Stop it.” Jennie scolds the two. She was used to the duo’s playful fighting but she also knew it could go on for hours if she doesn’t put a stop to it.

Both were quick to stop but stuck their tongues out at each other.

Y/N grabbed her plate to return to her room. She glanced at the couple making sure they were preoccupied enough not to notice what she was up to.

You have 11 unopened messages!

A loose grin formed on her face at the notification. Not bad. She hurriedly opened her inbox to find the different men who deemed her worthy to reach out to.

It was all pretty tame, it being the typical greeting. She sighed, already bored. It wasn’t until she reached the bottom of her inbox where a small gasp came out of her. She sat up and read the sender’s name.

Rosé Park. A woman.

She excitedly clicked on the woman’s profile.

It only took the woman’s profile picture for Y/N to realize that this Rosé Park was the type of woman she fantasized about. For starters, she was a brunette and the woman was a blonde. She was a sucker for blondes. Who could resist a good brunette and blonde wlw duo?

Santana and Brittany. Rose and Rosie. Clarke and Lexa. Piper and Alex. Need she say more?

Basically, Rosé Park was a dreamboat. Something radiated from her pictures that Y/N knew rendered her irresistible to both men and women. She could outshine any of these men on the site any day. It also only took her profile picture to realize that the woman was a big deal. Her outfit looked straight out of the pages of a fashion magazine. Why would gorgeous and rich 25-year old Rosé Park want to talk to a normal and boring 23-year old like her?

Y/N composed herself, fighting back a smile, before returning to her and Rosé’s chat.

Hi, gorgeous. I passed by your profile and knew I had to talk to you. Looking forward to your response x

Y/N’s blush seared through her cheeks and for a minute she thought her face was on fire. She suddenly felt awkward, demure, and coy; even going as far as attempting to hide her rosy features behind her slim fingers even if no one else was around to see her. She blames it on the fact that an insanely beautiful woman complimented her. So naturally, it took her at least 5 minutes of over-analyzing every possible response for her to actually send one.

Hi there :) You’re one to talk. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on.

To her surprise, three little dots indicating Rosé was typing appeared beside the woman’s picture.

Haha, cute.

Hmm what brings you to this site, Y/N?

The woman’s question made her pause. She doesn’t even know the answer to that. Was she supposed to make some shit up?

Um I was bored.

She facepalms herself as she hit send. Really? Your brain cogs couldn't turn fast enough to come up with a more interesting response, Y/N?

Y/N thought she blew it as 45 minutes has passed and no response from the blonde bombshell came. She internally cursed herself for her boring response to the woman. Rosé probably thought she was an airhead.

•

It was 10PM after binge watching another Kdrama with Jennie and Lisa that she remembered being left on delivered by Rosé. Her mood quickly sours as she realizes she ruined her chance at getting to know the beautiful woman. Thinking to distract herself with the depressing fact, she goes to check if any of the men messaged her back. Sure, a man could never fill the void of a woman but she really needed to talk to another human being besides Lisa and Jennie.

Y/N was apparently in for a surprise because what awaited her was a message from the woman.

Well, I hope to provide some sort of entertainment for you ;)

I’m not one to beat around the bush Y/N. I think you’re stunning and a good lay in bed. That’s a really good source of entertainment for the both of us, no?

Jesus Christ. She was not expecting that.

Y/N knew what being a sugar baby entailed but she was still brought to a shock at how blunt Rosé was being and so early on into the conversation. The thought of being with Rosé like that, being able to feel her skin against hers, the godly sounds that it would elicit…

Her private thoughts made herself blush. It seems like if there was anything Rosé was good at it was making Y/N blush. But her unholy thoughts about the woman didn’t create a cute soft pink tint on her cheek like a healthy outdoors glow, it was beet red. Y/N figured that Rosé was probably highly practiced at the art of seduction. Rosé’s looks although a masterpiece sculpted by all the deities that exist… well, nothing so pretty could possibly harm you, right? But it was that combined with Rosé’s choice of words that had anyone she chose to even focus her attention on jumping through hoops to please her. So, she swallowed her pride and forced herself to play it cool, putting on a mask that she thought would appease the woman she really wanted to impress.

I like the way you think, Rosé. I like to think I make great company in bed too ;) Give me a time and place and I’ll be there.

•

That message was what lead Y/N to the 21st floor of Seoul Forest Trimage Towers, one of Seoul’s most luxurious and exclusive apartment complex, standing outside of Rosé’s penthouse two days later.

All the reasons not to go through with it and just leave came flooding in. Y/N can feel the soft panic growing inside her body as she wills herself to breathe in and out, not quite ready to ring the doorbell just yet. But before she could finish her fourth exhale, the door was opened to reveal the woman who has not left her mind ever since signing up for that damned site.

“I grew tired of watching you hyperventilate so I thought I’d do you a favor and open the door for you.”

Y/N almost choked on air as she looks at Rosé for the first time. The pictures on her profile did not do her justice at all. The woman could have graced every billboard or magazine in the city and she wouldn’t even question it.

Y/N did not say anything - did not know what to say. She was conscious of the smirking woman standing before her, dressed in a white dress that stopped just above her knees.

“Do you wanna come in, Y/N?” Rosé’s voice was dripping with amusement, eyebrows raised. Shyness wasn’t usually Y/N’s gig so what the hell was going on?

“Yeah, sure.”

Once she entered the threshold that Rosé called home, she immediately noticed how fancy and expensive everything was. She was immediately drawn to the large window overlooking the whole city. The glass was so clear that it looked like a high definition screen at the movie theatre.

Rosé quickly picked up on her fascination, grabbing hold of Y/N’s hand and leading her to the glass window. “Cool, huh? I picked this unit because of the view. The city below is so far away it's like another world. This penthouse is my cocoon and the window, well, the window shows me as much detail as I want to know.”

Y/N could only stare at their joined hands and then to the woman beside her, intoxicated by her words. “It’s beautiful, Rosé. I’d kill to wake up to this every way. You have great taste.”

“Yeah I do have great taste huh?” Rosé looked her up and down, biting her lip before chuckling. (Y/N swears she saw the gates of heaven open at the sound)  

•

A few hours later after a candle lit dinner prepared by Rosé herself and a bottle of wine, Y/N finds herself straddled in the living room couch being kissed roughly on the neck as pure pleasure runs through her entire body.

“Fuck,” she pants as she feels Rosé grind on her. Unable to control herself anymore, Y/N holds Rosé’s head in her hands and pulls her into a fiery and passionate kiss.

“Someone couldn’t wait,” Rosé smiled against their lips.

With a laugh, Y/N pushed Rosé down on the couch, switching their positions, not breaking the kiss. Y/N’s hands slowly work their way around her body, tugging on Rosé’s dress.

“Off.”

Rosé sat up slightly, allowing Y/N to pull down the zipper of her dress, feeling skilled fingers unhook her bra. Rosé tears it off herself before reattaching their lips. Immediately, Y/N’s hands found itself on Rosé’s breasts as she tugged on her nipples.

Rosé gasps against her lips causing Y/N to pull away, making her way down and sucking on the skin surrounding Rosé’s breasts before soothing it out with her tongue.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into you but I’m not complaining,” Rosé giggles but whimpers midway as she feels Y/N’s tongue latch onto her nipple.

“Probably the wine.”

Y/N couldn’t help but think that their bodies fit together as if they were made just for this, to fall into one another, to feel this natural rhythm.

Y/N’s hands drop to Rosé’s thighs, caressing her from above her panties. Rosé moans at the feeling of the soft silk rubbing against her as Y/N’s mouth still busied herself with her nipple.

“Oh my god.”

Rosé grips her hand tightly onto Y/N’s hair as she feels the wetness between her legs. “Take your clothes off. I wanna see you.”

Y/N stops devouring her nipple to pull her shirt off. Rosé drops her hands to the zipper of Y/N’s jeans pulling it down and slipping her own hand in.

“Good to know I’m not the only one dripping wet,” she teases.

Before she could begin her sweet torture on Y/N, she feels hands finally moving inside her panties and her mind went blank.

Fingers toyed with her nub making Rosé bite down on Y/N’s shoulder. Thumb continuing to rub Rosé’s nub, Y/N slipped two fingers in. Rosé moaned so loud that Y/N swears it was enough to get her off.

Pumping her fingers around Rosé, Y/N felt a smirk making its way on her face. She couldn’t believe she was on top of the godly woman seeing her face all scrunched up in ecstasy. She feels Rosé pulling her in for another heated kiss as she picks up her pace inside the woman. With every moan and whimper coming out of Rosé’s mouth, Y/N feels her own wetness.

“You’re so fucking hot,” Y/N mutters under her breath.

She could feel Rosé getting close as the woman’s grinding on her fingers became sloppier and her breaths became more uneven. Burying her face on Y/N’s shoulder, Rosé tries to stifle her moans as she finally comes undone.

Y/N slowly leaves feathery kisses up and down Rosé’s neck as she waits for her to come down from her high.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N.” she hears Rosé trying to catch her breath. “I honestly wasn’t expecting you to take charge tonight.”

“Maybe I’m just full of surprises,” Y/N grinned, pressing a kiss on Rosé’s temple.

Rosé slowly sat up as Y/N leaves her place on top of her. “I guess you are.”

They both sat in silence as they picked up their clothes scattered on the floor before putting them back on. Rosé was the first one to break the ice as she reaches for her purse on the wooden table. It was at that moment Y/N remembered why she was even there in the first place. Disappointment stabbed through her like a knife. Somehow during the duration of the night, she made herself forget that she was there because of an agreement made online. As if she was there spending the night with a new lover, both milking the feeling of a love that just arrived. The night started out like a sweet melody of a blackbird -- full of promise, freshness, and newness to come. Now it sat like a cold cup of coffee waiting to be drained away. All of a sudden, she felt dirty and used and all she had to blame was herself. Rosé’s words from a few hours ago during dinner echoed through her head.

I signed up because I have no time for relationships. I’m just too busy for that. It saves me the hassle of meeting new people and having to get to know them, y’know?

And truthfully, no, Y/N didn’t know. She remembers Lisa telling her she loves like a puppy - devoted, playful, and trusting. So, no, Y/N didn’t know. She just didn’t roll the way Rosé rolled.

“Here you go,” Rosé reached out with a wad of cash in her hand. “Go treat yourself. You deserve it.”

It was the way Rosé said it, so confident and smug, that Y/N knew that she was not Rosé’s first rodeo. The woman sounded like she does it so often that she just didn’t care anymore.

“How many girls receive this same amount of cash?” Y/N laughs quietly and she hopes it didn’t sound as bitter as she felt.

“A couple a week,” Rosé grins so nonchalantly it makes Y/N stomach churn. “Why?”

“Nothing,” Y/N awkwardly shifts in her place on the couch. “Um, you really don’t need to. I’m not looking for cash.”

Rosé actually looked shocked at the girl’s statement. “I’m a little bit lost here.”

“I signed up because I was bored and curious not because I’m low on money,” she laughs keeping an unamused tone. “I really didn’t expect to reach this far ahead. So, you can keep your money Rosé.”

Y/N got up and started walking towards the door. She was halfway there when she felt Rosé grab her wrist.

“Why do you sound angry? Don’t act as if you didn’t know why I invited you here, Y/N.” Rosé looked at her confused. “We met through Seeking Arrangements for god’s sake. I thought we had a good time.”

Rosé did have a good time. Aside from the mind-blowing sex, she was impressed by Y/N’s ability to be present during a conversation, always having her own two cents to offer, which lead to a lot of fun and meaningful discourse all throughout dinner. She had never met a woman through that website as enchanting and beautiful as Y/N. Y/N was a smart woman who was good at sex and Rosé liked that. A lot. So why is she being difficult?

Rosé saw different emotions flash through Y/N’s face before settling on a look of defeat. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I did have a good time.”

Y/N stepped closer to Rosé. “I loved being here with you and money was never on my mind tonight. Maybe that’s why I reacted that way. I’m sorry. I joined Seeking Arrangements for fun because honestly…I was lonely and bored and looking for some sort of human connection and that’s what you gave me tonight. I just got lucky that you reached out. That was all I needed I promise.”

She offers Rosé a genuine smile before turning to leave once more. “Have a good rest of your night, Rosé.”

Y/N hears footsteps behind her as Rosé opens the door for her, a smile planted on her face. “You’re something else, Y/N.”

Before the door closes, Rosé speaks once more. “It’s Rosie now by the way.”

The last thing she saw was the woman throwing her a wink before the door finally closed.

[yandere-daydreams]

Something with Kiyoomi Sakusa from Haikiyuu?? He just reminds me of Overhaul, but like hotter. And more sadistic. And hotter.

I don’t know a lot about this man, but he has the Bad Vibes we love to see. A germaphobe with a god-complex and some crushing anxiety to sweeten the pot… What more could you want in a ‘loving’ sadistic?

TW: Violence, Dehumanization, and Emotional Manipulation.

~

He liked to feel bigger than you.

You guessed it could’ve been worse. The basement was renovated, the floor covered in spotless faux-wood, and Sakusa made sure you kept it as neat as the rest of his home… or, you assume he did, at least, based on the few glanced you had of the upper floors you’d gathered over your months with him. He could’ve poured ice-cold water over your head, again, or gone back to forcing those little grey pills down your throat. This wasn’t so bad, in comparison.

You could live with this.

Still, your knees began to ache as you repositioned yourself for the thousandth time, attempting to find a stance that didn’t leave your legs sore and your knees bruised from the constant kneeling. You were relegated to the floor, but Sakusa felt free to make himself comfortable on your cot, pursing his lips as you nuzzled into his thigh, attempting to create the air of manufactured intimacy you knew would soften his resolve. In return, he ran a hand through your hair, his concentration devoted to detangling nonexistent knots and flattening imperfections you could never seem to find, on your own. He was good at that - pointing out all the things you didn’t were wrong.

He hummed as he worked, blunt nails scraping against your scalp gently, and you let yourself melt into the feeling, content to close your eyes and pretend you were anywhere else, with anyone else. It was the closest you got to happiness, when your world was infested with your captor, whether his presence came in the form of the gifts he expected you to treasure or the sparse furniture he blamed for ‘spoiling’ you or the clothing he provided, made up of jerseys and his shirts and anything he decided he wanted to see you in, your tastes be damned. The temptation to complain was still there, to cross your arms and refuse to cooperate, but you’d learned your lesson. As far as Sakusa was concerned, if you didn’t want to wear what he gaze you, you could wear nothing at all, and you’d sooner swallow your pride than be so exposed again. Exposure meant vulnerability, and vulnerability meant inferiority, and inferiority meant you weren’t human--

“You’re quiet, today.” His voice broke through the gentle silence, drawing you from your thoughts like an owner calling the name of their favorite pet. You perked up, crossing your arms over his legs to better stare up at him, but you didn’t reply, letting him scan over you with the observant, prying gaze that never failed to make your skin crawl. You weren’t sure what he was searching for, but he must’ve found it, averting his eyes to the wall behind you rather than attempting to meet yours. “No screaming,” He explained, bluntly. “You haven’t thrown a tantrum in… How long has it been? A week?”

“Nine days,” You corrected, more than a little offended that he hadn’t been keeping a record as diligently as you had. Still, you smiled, melting into his palm as it came down to cup your cheek, his rough skin contrasting sharply with your own. “My back still hurts when I lay on my side. I want to wait for it to heal before I try anything that might make it worse.”

That earned a laugh, albeit a soft one, barely audibly by the time it was off his tongue. He cupped your chin, tilting your head back, guiding you to straighten your back and hold still as he leaned towards you, kissing the top of your head. “And now you’re strategizing,” He mumbled, giving you time to peck his cheek. He didn’t react, but a pink tint was slowly spreading across his skin, a nervous tic he couldn’t seem to shake. You used to think it was cute. Now, it just made you wonder if he was stricter when he was embarrassed. “You’re supposed to behave because you want to behave, y’know. Not because you’re biding your time until you can do something bratty and turn me into the bad guy.”

“I’m still behaving.” He moved to back away, and you strung your arms around his neck, pulling him towards you, if only to hide your face in his shoulder. Sakusa sighed, beginning to toy with the edges of your shirt’s collar. “You’re always talking about punishments and repercussions… That’s what you want, right? For me to be scared enough not to act up?”

There was a moment of stillness, a second where the only thing you felt was his warm breath fanning across your neck, but it didn’t last very long. Before you could do so much as separate from him, his fist was around your collar, jerking you back and onto your feet as he stood, letting you stumble for a proper stance before you were thrown to the floor. You tried to push yourself up, but your joints were sore and your whole body felt so weak, leaving the last traces of your hope to be crushed as Sakusa’s heel collided with your diaphragm, knocking the air from your lungs and lodging itself in your solar plexus, keeping you pinned as a sharpened, electric pain spread through your ribcage. It’d been sore for weeks, if not months. Maybe he’d take away your mattress, again. Maybe he’d leave you alone in this hell, again.

“It’s not about you being scared,” He spat, the sound echoing off plain, concrete walls. He ground his foot down as he spoke, pressing a whimper through your lips before forcing out an earnest, genuine cry as he landed a kick to the center of your stomach, not bothering to hide his disapproval of your lacking response. He wanted you to scream. He’d never be satisfied until you did. “It’s not about fear, it’s never been about fear. You don’t get it, you still don’t get it.”

“I’m sorry!” The apology was automatic, and you scrambled to shield your head, but it didn’t matter. Sakusa was never one for theatrics, he didn’t have to be. He new your weak spots as well as you did, from the burn that stretched over your shoulder-blade to your recently fractured ankle, the one that now held the majority of his weight, bringing tears to your eyes with little more than the basest hints of his strength. “Please, I just… I said the wrong thing! I didn’t mean to--”

“I’m doing this because I love you.” His voice was calm, and you curled into yourself, unwilling to let him see as ragged, empty sobs began to rack through your chest. Sakusa showed his sympathy with a clink of his tongue and little more. “I love you. I want you to love me back. That’s why I’m doing this. If you’re scared, it’s only because you deserve to be scared.”

The pressure disappeared, thankfully, replaced by an iron-clad grip around your wrist as he pulled you onto your back. Using his free hand, he caught your chin, forcing you to meet his eyes. He didn’t try to look away, this time.

You wished you were brave enough to try.

“Clearly, you still need to learn your place.”

[themangoyogurt]

Misguided Youth: One More For The Road

Chapter 4

Spilling out onto the pavement, you leaned over with two hands on either knee. Pulling in thick drags of cold air into your lungs, you willed yourself to calm down before someone found you crying in an alley for no apparent reason. Just as your resolve began to crumble, familiar hands wrapped around your waist and pulled you up. You found yourself pressed against Jyn’s chest as she tugged you into a tight hug.

“Oh my God, what happened, babe? I’m so sorry I missed the concert! My manager asked me to stay longer, but I came as soon as possible!”

Pulling back, she held your head between two gentle palms as she looked into your eyes searching for some sort of answer. You began to choke out, “The...the asshole from the bar was Kylo Ren of Knights of Ren! He...he...I’m just a big fucking joke to him! He totally brought me here just to make fun of the fact that I didn’t recognize him.” Jyn’s eyes turned to steel as she turned to stare at the door.

“That motherfucker. Wait here!” She screeched as the angry woman made a beeline for the employee entrance. You lurched forward to grab her wrist and cried out, “No! I just want to go home and forget that this ever happened! I’m so fucking over Kylo and his shitty attitude.”

Jyn’s eyes flitted between yourself and the door before a mischievous grin spread over her face. She tightly gripped you by the shoulder and replied, “Nope. Hell no. In all the years I’ve known you, you’ve been many things, but never a quitter. I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed you back down from anything or anyone.”

Tugging you down the alley towards the street she continued, “Not only are we going to that afterparty, but we’re going make Kylo Ren regret ever pissing you off.”

You were heading up in an elevator and nervously staring at your reflection in the mirror within the metal box. Noticing you tugging at the hem of your skirt, Jyn reached over to slap your hand away from the garment. “Get your shit together, girl. Remember - if looks could kill.” Nodding along to your best friend, you stood a little straighter as confidence surged inside your chest.

Jyn had immediately dragged you to the nearby apartment of a mutual friend and her sister. After explaining your situation to the Tico sisters, the trio immediately set to working on your outfit. Jyn was hellbent on turning you into a vision, and decided that the best way to irritate Kylo Ren was to dangle a snack in front of him that he’d never have the pleasure of tasting.

While smudging dark kohl eyeliner underneath your eyes she had scoffed, “The best way to piss off a man who doesn’t understand the word ‘no’, is to tell him that that precise word”. While your eyes were darkened in a black smokey eye, your lips were painted in a crimson red. Rose set to pulling your hair into a slick high pony-tail as Paige dug around the back of her closet.

The tall Asian woman emerged behind a pile of clothes and laughed, “Man, I haven’t seen these garments since my clubbing days in college! Good thing I’m a hoarder.” She continued to giggle as she tossed a short black shift dress onto her bed. A pair of fishnet stockings landed next to the dress.

Eyeing the tights you exclaimed, “Uhh, there better be pants with this outfit, because I swear to God, Paige.”

Rose doubled over in laughter while Paige rolled her eyes. She jabbed an accusatory finger in your direction and huffed, “Don’t even try and act like a saint. I’ve seen you strut around Meatpacking in nothing more than a -“

It was Jyn’s turn to howl as she watched your cheeks redden at the memory. Paige gave you a flat stare and held up the dress. “Look, the hemline is still respectable. We’re definitely going for an ‘oh I could care less’ vibe, but you still want to look sexy. Remember the endgame - make Kylo drool but don’t look desperate. Besides, since when did you care so much about saving your piety?” She mocking pressed her palms together in a faux prayer between sweeping off to find you a pair of heeled boots.

The women worked quickly so that within the hour you were standing in Kylo’s private elevator shooting up to his penthouse. You were dropped off in a foyer, and Jyn���s grip tightened around your hand as she pushed you forward towards an open door.

His home was enormous and surprisingly tasteful. It just made you hate the man even more. Floor to ceiling windows adorned the entire place, showing off a glittering view of the New York City skyline. The place was filled to the brim with tons of people, and you swore you saw some celebrities sprinkled amongst the mix. Jyn only confirmed your suspicions as she squealed, “Oh my God, I think that’s Paul Rudd talking to Poe Dameron!”

Poe Dameron was a the former member of a popular boy band, who skyrocketed to fame after going solo. Jyn leaned over to whisper, “I heard that he got into a public feud with Kylo! Apparently America’s favorite bad boy called Dameron the creator of ‘pansy music’.” You rolled your eyes - that definitely sounded like the Kylo you’ve had the displeasure of getting to know.

Lifting your chin up a little higher, you strutted into the room. It was too late to back out now, and you were set on seeing your mission through. You would show Kylo Ren that he had no power over you, and that he could laugh at your expense all he wanted as long as you were drinking up his expensive liquor. You instinctively found yourself by the wet bar with Jyn as she grabbed a bottle Johnnie Walker Blue Label.

“A little heavy handed there wouldn’t you say, Jyn?” You quirked an eyebrow at your friend as she all but emptied a quarter of the bottle into two waiting glasses. Rolling her eyes at your response, she leaned over the counter to grab a bottle of Patrón. Splashing the liquid into two shot glasses, she teased, “These small enough for ya?”

Nudging the woman with your hip, you swiped the glass and downed the clear liquid in a single go. Jyn cheered and tossed back her own glass. Slamming it down, she reached over to the whiskey and shoved the full glass into your hand. She shot you a mischievous look and laughed, “You still gotta finish your glass. Can’t waste anything in this current economy, right?”

Looking over the rim of your glass, you slowly scanned the room as you ignored your friend’s antics. When you had first moved to New York, the two of you became fast friends during freshman year of college. Most of that year was a haze of partying and what your mother would have deemed “wild behavior”.

Jyn had dubbed herself the “Robin Hood of Dating”. Stuffy rich prep boys were always drawn to her for some reason. If they acted like douches then Jyn would provide payback in the form of bleeding their bank accounts dry through a series of unforgivingly expensive treats and dinners. Her biggest talent was probably the fact that she’d clean out their wallets without even shedding a single layer of clothing.

Fortunately the two of you emerged from your youthful dalliances rather unscathed. Was your GPA something to write home about? Probably not. But at least you lived a little, right? While you settled on (surprisingly) getting into grad school, Jyn wasn’t sure what she wanted to do with her life. One thing she knew for sure was that the woman was so over higher education.

You weren’t really sure what Jyn did now. She cycled through so many part-time jobs it was hard to keep up. You started to mull over her short-lived career as an actress (deceased prostitute number two on Law & Order SVU season six) when she snapped her fingers in front of your face.

“Hey! I’m talking to you!”

She took in your confused expression and shook her head. “Come on, girl. Now is not the time to relax. We need to find Lord Dickhead and then get the hell out of here, okay?”

You nodded and quickly downed your glass for courage. Jyn smirked and patted your back. “Atta girl,” she cheered. Looping an arm through the crook of your elbow, she pulled you away from the bar to circle the room.

Meanwhile, Kylo was nursing his own glass of whiskey as his eyes trailed behind you like a shark. You weren’t wearing that just a few hours ago. His grip was like steel as he thought about your earlier confrontation. Most women would have been all over him by now. At the very least excited to get free Knights of Ren tickets. Not only were you the opposite of thrilled, but he didn’t even catch who your guest was.

He was pretty sure he overheard Phasma tell Mitaka that you were bringing someone named Jim. What kind of name was that anyways? Kylo irritatedly thought that the guy sounded obnoxious. He probably had a full-time job and 401K. Kylo bitterly thought that Jim probably had a college degree.

Just as he thought his night couldn’t get worse, he caught sight of Poe Dameron making his way across the room towards you and a female who looked faintly familiar. God, he fucking hated the pretentious prick. The only reason Kylo barely tolerated his presence was the fact that he was grew up with Phasma and the pair were still good buddies.

Poe caught up to you just as Jyn stopped to grab another drink from the bar cart.

“Here, let me help,” he smoothly interjected as he reached over to grab an empty glass. Normally Jyn would roll her eyes at “chivalry”, but she caught sight of Kylo’s death glare towards the pop singer and smirked. She tilted her head and coyly giggled, “Thank you! I’m Jyn, and this beautiful single lady is my friend...”

The brown haired woman choked as you sharply elbowed her in the rib at the words “single” and “lady.” Poe caught the action and laughed at your playfulness. Slipping a full glass into your hand he replied, “Hello, ladies. I’m Poe.”

If you weren’t planning on murdering your best friend, you certainly were about to. The woman suddenly turned to you and exclaimed, “I need to run to the restroom. But I’m sure Poe wouldn’t mind hanging out with you for a little bit while I’m gone?”

Ever the gentleman, Poe enthusiastically agreed and Jyn took off before you could protest. The singer watched as you quickly downed half of your glass and dryly joked, “Whoa. I never said that I was great company, but I didn’t realize I was doing so poorly already.”

You shook your head and laughed. “No, no. It’s just...I didn’t really come here to party.”

“Then why did you come?”

“I’m...geez, it sounds really immature and petty if I say it out loud.”

Poe grinned and topped your glass off as he replied, “I once signed on to be a spokesperson for a leather jacket company just to spite a vegan ex.” You tilted your head down and let out a wheezy laugh.

“Alright, but promise you won’t judge me?”

Poe stuck out a pinky finger, and you wound your finger around his own. “Promise.”

“Okay. So, Kylo Ren kind of royally pissed me off tonight, so I came here to try and irritate the shit out of him for retaliation. I’m not exactly sure how I’ll execute my plan though, since Jyn was the mastermind and now she’s nowhere to be found.”

A glimmer shone in Poe’s eyes as he casually leaned forward to whisper, “Well, you’re just in luck. I can’t stand the guy either, so why don’t we help each other out?”

You were one shot of tequila and two and half glasses of whiskey into the night.

So yeah. That sounded like a good plan.

Nodding along with the man, you softly gasped as he wound an arm around your waist. Stepping forward, he brushed his lips against your ear and murmured, “Tell me if you’re uncomfortable.” You could barely push the syllables out of your mouth as you replied, “What...what are you doing?”

Poe remained in place as he quietly replied, “Finding out whether or not Kylo Ren is a patient man.”

Your spine stiffened at the unexpected physical contact, which didn’t go unnoticed by the man. He pulled back slightly and softly continued, “I’m honestly not planning on giving you more than a hug, but we can totally stop. Just say the word.”

Willing your shoulders to relax, you snaked a hand up to rest your palms flat against his chest. “No, I’m fine. I appreciate you letting me know. I was just surprised, that’s all.”

Poe nodded. “Okay, good. Because you kind of need to look somewhat interested for this to work.”

You tossed your head back in genuine laughter as the tension dissipated. Poe cracked a wide grin and the two of you continued to chat. While the conversation itself was the furthest thing from flirty, (sure, IRA contributions are tax-deductible, but if you want penalty free early withdrawals then...) your physicality told a different story.

Once in a while, Poe would reach up to play with the bottom of your ponytail as he wrapped a few strands around his fingers. You, on the other hand, continued to slide your palms up and down his chest while tilting your face up to laugh at his jokes. It was when Poe reached over to cup the back of your neck with his hand that Kylo lost it.

He hadn’t even realized that his feet had begun to move. Somehow, he crossed the entirety of his living room and ended up awkwardly standing in front of yourself and Poe.

The pop singer smirked, “Uh, hey man. Can we help you?”

You turned so your hip was flush against Poe’s as you leaned a head against his chest. Quietly staring up at the man, you tried to conjure a look that was equal parts innocent and “fuck you”.

Shit. Kylo hadn’t thought through his plan of action. He quickly supplied, “Yeah. Your friend is looking for you.”

You raised a single eyebrow and asked, “Who?”

Fuck. Kylo looked around and took a chance. “Uh, your friend from the concert. Jim.”

Jyn? Although, you could have sworn he said “Jim”. It was super fucking loud though, and you weren’t exactly sure what he said. You certainly weren’t about to embarrass yourself by playing five rounds of “what did you say?” and having the man repeat himself. Extracting yourself from Poe’s side, you turned to give him a faux sultry gaze. “Sorry, Poe. I gotta find my friend. Call me later about that date?”

Poe nodded and gave you a wink, satisfied that the two of you had successfully riled up your mutual enemy.

Kylo held himself back from straight up hissing, and reached over to aggressively tug your wrist into his wide palm. He jerked you away and practically dragged your body across the living room. Just as the two of you disappeared around the corner and out of eyesight, Poe was suddenly joined by another person.

Arms crossed with an evil smirk on her face, Phasma stepped up and offered the man a high-five.

“Thanks, Poe. I owe you one.”

[buns-with-a-book]

Snowdrop

Based on @queenmuzz‘s headcanon about Vergil’s time in Fortuna (and who really is the prostitute that Nero gets pinned as being the child of. Here’s a hint: it ain’t his mom) and the general vibe of this song. It might’ve put a little @twinkstimulator to sleep but there won’t be any easy sleeping for Vergil.

This fic does contain spicy content and angst!

Fandoms: Devil May Cry Characters: Vergil, OC, mentioned Nero’s Mother Tags: @furyeclipse @synchronmurmurs @harlot-of-oblivion

Summary: The world runs on give and take. Vergil knows this too well, as a penniless young man in Fortuna. But there are some things that can be exchanged for what he seeks, even if he’s less than enthusiastic about the whole affair.

Winters in Fortuna weren’t that cold, more like the occasional chill that nipped the very air. Perhaps that was the blessing of a more temperate climate, with mild winters, so unlike the winters of Red Grave, he could still remember grey-hued skies and falling snow, of memories turned bitter with the smell of ash and the taste of blood.

Vergil glanced up to the window of the tiny room, one of the many public housing apartments in the city. It was bland, barely furnished with a bed, a bedside table, and the Order of the Sword emblazoned on the wall, but it was free to stay...provided you could find a room to keep as your own that wasn’t trashed by it’s previous occupant. Vergil figured himself lucky that this place was mostly clean. It even had a coat hanger (which he appreciated for his coat) and a vase, which he placed a snowdrop flower in. It reminded him of home.

Vergil didn’t need much, aside from Yamato and his mother’s amulet (both of which he would never part with, no matter how dire the situation), but it turned out he needed more than a sword and a necklace. Not power (he could get that eventually) but money (which was another matter entirely)...but there were other means of getting what he needed. Other means he was forced to rely on.

He heard a knock at his door. Two short raps, followed by a third ‘thunk!’. He scowled as he stood, knowing full well who it was at the door: A Matron of the Order, Fioralba if he remembered correctly. Despite being an older woman, she was no ordinary matron. No, she had access to the Order’s most secret texts, texts as old as the city itself. And he needed access to those texts to find the secrets to unlocking his father’s power, to finally be strong enough (and then what? He would figure that out when the time came).

“Snowdrop?”

“My apologies.” He spoke, opening the door. Snowdrop was merely another name, he dared not reveal his true name or heritage to the Order. No, he knew better than that, he was no fool nor did he wish for the Order to find him if and when he left the city to seek more information about Sparda elsewhere. There was something about Fortuna that kept him on edge...

“Snowdrop!” Fioralba snapped. Vergil blinked.

“Once again, my apologies. I was thinking.” He explained, stepping aside to let her in. His eyes caught the faint golden lining of her hood. He closed the door behind her, watching as she set her bag down. He knew it wasn’t the texts, no, they were too important for her to carry around. She pulled off her hood, revealing mostly grey hair. Whether it was from stress or age, Vergil didn’t ask.

“Always thinking, boy.” She huffed. “Keep your head out of the clouds.” Vergil disliked Fioralba’s rudeness but kept his mouth shut.

‘Just stay quiet.’ He thought to himself as Fioralba rummaged through the bag, setting it on the tiny table in the room. ‘Don’t do anything reckless.’ He sat down on the bed, undoing his vest and carefully setting it aside. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a very important folder being laid down, the permissions he needed to get into those secretive tomes. He knew what she wanted in return, he could feel her gaze upon unscarred muscles.

Well, mostly unscarred. There was one, on the right of his heart, where Yamato was thrown into him, where his demonic heart awoke and defended itself against the demons. It was a thin line, a line that still stung when he awoke from his nightmares-

Shaking his head, he looked up at Fiorabla to find that she was already making her way to the bed, ready with a bottle of lube in her hands. She knew what she wanted if that look in her eyes was any indication. She slid into the bed, handing the bottle off to him. He set the bottle aside and pulled off his pants. Taking the bottle again, he squirted some lube in his hand and stroked himself (a skill he learned from one of the younger matrons, the far nicer Luna). Once prepared, he shifted to settle himself between Fioralba’s legs.  

“Ahem.” He paused, blue eyes flicking to her.

“Yes?”

“I thought you were better than that.” She crossed her arms. “Already getting to the main event?”

“...my apologies.” He lowered his head. He wanted to get to the main event, to get this over with, but kept his mouth shut. He felt her hand on his hair and repressed a shudder, guiding his face down to her cunt. Quickly getting what she wanted, his hands rested on her thighs.

They may have agreed on the terms, a night of pleasure for access to the texts he needed, but he didn’t have to like it the entire time. And if he played his cards right, she would never know he wasn’t enthused about the entire affair.

He leaned forward, suckling on her clit (something he learned once again from Luna. He wished she was here instead of Fioralba). The reaction was immediate, the older woman letting out a surprised gasp, her hand clinging tighter onto his hair. He ignored the shudder that shot down his spine from his hair being pulled, focusing more on pleasuring her as best as he could without trying to scowl or flinch.

Instead, his mind drifted to Luna, who was everything this matron could never be. He remembered their first meeting, where he had saved her from a pack of demons that somehow got into the city. She had offered what she could, bread from her basket, as thanks. She had connections to the Order of the Sword, specifically to its many libraries, but he always felt...concern to her. Worried about her safety and well-being.

It was unlike him to worry about anyone but himself.

“Snowdrop.” He glanced up, feeling his face covered with her slick. “I’m ready.” There was barely any tenderness, only the hint of annoyance that her time was being wasted by him not moving fast enough to pleasure her.

“Yes ma'am.” Vergil sat up, trying not to sound bored. It seemed to have convinced her, if that smile was anything to go by. He lowered his head, eyes glancing anywhere but her as his cock sunk into her. Vergil groaned softly at the warmth, more instinct than desire. He would never vocalize his disdain for being with Fioralba, not while she had what he needed, but good god, he wished he didn’t have to be with her.  

But the faux enthusiasm (if he even could project enthusiasm normally) seemed to fool her, given how she hooked her legs around his hips, locking him in.

‘Don’t think too hard. Just focus on making sure she leaves happy enough not to take back what I need.’ He mentally reminded himself, keeping still as he waited for Fioralba to give him permission to move.

“Move, boy.” Boy, tch, as if she could call him that. He was a young man of eighteen, he was no boy. But he didn’t say a word about that, more focused on thrusting into her. She relished the thrusts, from all appearances, and he could pass off his lack of looking at her as ‘focus upon the other parts of her’. She wouldn’t be able to tell his mind was elsewhere, to someone that wasn’t this cruel witch of a matron, but of someone who genuinely cared for him.

Luna.

If he focused hard enough, he could just see her in his mind’s eye, her auburn hair splayed out on her bed, warm skin faintly illuminated by candlelight. He could just hear her, gently guiding him on how to make love, patiently answering all the questions he had.

This, what he was experiencing with Fioralba, was not love. It was a transaction, sex for information. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Outside of me, boy.”

“Yes ma’am.” Vergil was really starting to hate her, not that he could do anything about it. He pulled out and began to stroke himself vigorously, panting softly. It didn’t take long for his cock to shoot out seed all over her stomach. He quickly moved himself out of the way as she sat up, getting off the bed. He passed a look to her, wondering if he was able to fool her into thinking he was even slightly interested in making sure she had a good time.

“Take care on your way home, ma’m.” Vergil said, sitting on the bed quietly as he watched her get dressed. She passed him a look, a look of disinterest, before she resumed her task.

“Goodnight, Snowdrop.” Fiorabla said coldly, finishing getting dressed. Just as he expected as she packed up her bag, leaving the folder on the table. He heard her mumble as she stepped out. Vergil knew it was an insult as he stood up and locked the door behind her. He stood at the door for a moment before he walked away from the door to the tiny bathroom. Turning on the ice cold water, he stepped into the shower, fully intending to clean off the lube and cum on his person. He paused, standing there in the tiny shower, silent but shaking. He squeezed his eyes shut, sliding down the shower wall. The ice cold water fell upon his skin, mixing in with the tears that were sliding down his face.

He hated it here. He hated Fortuna, it’s matrons, every sideways glare from its own people (except Luna. He could never feel anything close to hatred for her). He hated running for his life, not a penny to his name, nothing but Yamato, his mother’s amulet, and the clothes on his back and demons hunting him down at every chance they could get.

‘Mother...Dante…’

Only under the ice cold water of a shower would he admit he missed his mother and brother. Only all alone on a winter night would he dare cry over who he lost. Only, when he was certain no soul was watching, would he beg for his mother like a child.

Devils don’t cry, right?

‘Mother, Dante...I swear, I will find the power to avenge you. I will not rest until Mundus’ head is in my hands.’ Vergil silently swore, slowly rising his head to the stone ceiling above him. ‘My father did it. I will do it as well.’

[flourchildwrites]

Seconds

Call their predicament fate or karma; blame it on the moonlight or the romantic music playing during the movie's wedding scene. Whatever forces were at work, the opportunity was there for Rebecca and Jean, ready and ripe for the taking. The only question that remained was if she was hungry enough for seconds in spite of the complications.

It was going to be a very interesting vacation.

Written for @fmasecretsanta2019 for @areyousanta

Fandom:  Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga, Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types  

Relationship/Pairing:  Rebecca Catalina/Jean Havoc, Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang, Lan Fan/Ling Yao

Genre:  Modern AU, Cruise Ship Vacation, Night After the One Night Stand

Rating:  Teen And Up Audiences (contains suggestive sexual references)

Word Count:  2,288 words

Read on AO3

Carnival’s newest attraction, the Mardi Gras, was a ridiculous boat, at least in the opinion of one, Rebecca Catalina.

The cruise ship’s towering atrium featured floor to ceiling windows that courted nearly panoramic waterway views.  Numerous restaurants dotted the ship map; their descriptions were laced with four dollar words such as “fragrant,” “authentic” or “sumptuous” that made Rebecca’s mouth water.  And if the ginormous pool on the lido deck was not enough, there was always the wonderland dubbed the “Ultimate Playground” stuck awkwardly on the back of the ship to consider.  The colorful tracks of the world’s first rollercoaster at sea cut through the thick, humid breeze, and on the first day of the cruise, the line to ride the attraction stretched around the deck.

The atmosphere oozed excess. It was just the sort of laissez-faire ambiance that Riza Hawkeye shied away from.  It was the precise brand of absurdity that her wealthy grandfather would choose to celebrate her college graduation.  Not that he had been invited, and in this respect, Riza and Rebecca’s vacation mimicked Riza’s upbringing.  George Grumman generously financed it, but ever-faithful Becca was left to weather the changeable tides alongside her best friend.

Not all waters had been as navigable as those of the murky Mississippi River.  

“Enjoying the view?”

Rebecca startled at the sound of Riza’s voice.  She grounded her thoughts in the here and now, honing in on the small talk circulating around the dinner table.  Her dark, wing-lined eyes darted away from the windows of the formal dining room and toward the beaming face of her best friend.  Riza Hawkeye looked happy; if not for the three-course meal they’d just devoured, for the new company at their table — her long-distance boyfriend, Roy Mustang and his tagalong pal, Jean Havoc.

But where Jean was concerned, Rebecca had her reasons for reticence.  Reasons she was not apt to share with Riza during this vacation, a trip that was supposed to be all about her best friend and not Becca’s bedroom faux pas.

She simply wouldn’t think about how she had foolishly spent the night with Jean before they’d remet as travel companions of Roy and Riza that morning.  Rebecca wouldn’t think about the lip-biting set of abs hiding underneath his well-pressed button-down.  She tried not to notice the way she caught Jean’s baby-blue eyes darting away from her over dinner.  By all accounts, their night together had been meant as a fun, casual encounter, but the next day’s harsh revelation had complicated matters.

He’d said he was on a business trip when He caught her eye in the hotel bar the night before departure, and Rebecca had not questioned him further.  Not when his sweet talk was so saccharine and the rough stubble on his chin had felt so good on her-

“Are you feeling alright, Rebecca?” Riza asked; her lightly penciled eyebrows were knit with concern underneath stylish round glasses.

“Yes, sorry!’ Rebecca replied happily.  Too happily, perhaps. “I’m absolutely fine. Wonderful even.”

She was not fine, let alone wonderful.  She was scared shit-less of being called out by the elephant at their dinner table.  A very attractive, extremely capable elephant with who had played her body like a fiddle. His brash melody was stuck on a loop in her mind.

Rebecca watched as Jean licked a bit of chocolate mousse from his spoon, and she suppressed an indignant eye-roll.  The least he could do was be less like sex appeal on a stick.  He could pretend not to know that he tied her stomach into knots, courtesy of their shared secret.  But given the way those baby-blues bore into her, nevermind that she refused to meet his gaze, Rebecca realized that they’d have to talk about it.

The sooner, the better.

God, she hated being 23 sometimes.  Young enough to take some disastrous missteps in good faith but too old to run away from her problems.

“So Catalina, how about we take a walk to clear your mind,” Jean purred. “Get to know each other a little better while these two catch up.  What do you say?”

A sinking feeling settled into the pit of Rebecca’s stomach, and it turned over on itself when she spied Riza’s hopeful expression.

The things she did for the love of a friend.

“Sounds like a great idea,” Rebecca uttered; her words sounded stiff as they slipped through her burgundy lips. “I’m gonna make a stop by the bar before we leave.”

She rose from their table with her room key clutched firmly in the palm of her hand.  Even as her gaze lingered upon Roy and Riza’s intertwined fingers, she bid them good evening and walked across the dining room to the mahogany bar at the far end of the large room.  Through a stilted smile, Rebecca ordered another glass of cabernet sauvignon, urging the bartender to be generous as the long shadow of Jean Havoc crept over her shoulder.

If the previous night had taught Rebecca anything, it was that Havoc was a livewire, energetic and unpredictable when he allowed his passions to overpower his common sense.  But the chilly night air on the lido deck appeared to temper Jean’s demeanor.  Quietly, he sat back against the sturdy frame of a ship deck chair with the top three buttons of his shirt undone and his hands leisurely placed on the back of his head.  The spiky ends of his hair caught the humid breeze as he stared back at Rebecca with a lazy, contemplative smile.  His patience offered no inroad, but neither did it discourage a conversation.

Rebecca got the message loud and clear — she would have to bring it up, or they would simply sit outside for the remainder of the evening watching Crazy Rich Ishvalans play across a large screen over the pool.

She took yet another sip of wine and placed the stemmed glass on the table between their lawn chairs.  After adjusting the hem of her green maxi dress, Rebecca swung her sandal-clad feet upon the lower slats of her deck chair.  A long, slow sigh escaped her throat, and she, ever brazen, decided to jump headfirst into uncharted territory.

“I think it goes without saying that we should not mention what happened last night to Riza or Roy,” she announced. “Still, I think it would be beneficial for us to talk privately since I have some questions.”

“Don’t worry, Catalina.  I don’t kiss and tell,” he said with an amused air. “But now that you mention it, I might have some questions too.  Ladies first.”

Rebecca attempted to organize her thoughts by level of importance.  But her wounded pride, a part of her that resented she’d been lied to, spoke up first.

“You said you were in New Orleans on business,” she stressed. “This cruise doesn’t seem like business to me.”

Jean shrugged his shoulders, turning his head to look at her.

“I thought work provided a better excuse to make a clean break, and honestly, I didn’t think I’d see you again.”

His tone shifted, tending toward a playful vibe. “I know we agreed to keep it casual, but who’s to say you wouldn’t have fallen madly in love with me and tried to follow me onto the ship if you had known.”

Rebecca’s left eyebrow arched incredulously even as her lips quirked with suppressed laughter.

“Does that happen to you often?” She quipped.

“No,” Jean chuckled. “I don’t do that sort of thing anymore.  Not since I got injured three years ago. Consider last night an exception.”

“That’s right,” Rebecca hummed, “you used to be a Marine.  Jealous boyfriend catch up to you and made you change your ways?”

“Nah,” he said, still in good humor, “it was a bullet.  But enough about me; my turn.  Do you do one night stands often, Catalina?  Am I just another person in a long line of notches on your bedpost?”

She tipped the glass of wine to her lips and drank, mindful that Jean was giving as good as he had gotten. “I don’t think we’ve had near enough alcohol for that question.”

And this, she meant wholeheartedly.

“But, to give you a direct answer, no,” Rebecca admitted. “I’ve been too busy with my MBA program to go out, much less date.  Last night was…”

She didn’t want to parrot his words, though certainly, their time together had been ‘an exception.’ Phrases swam in her wine-drenched mind; none were suitable.  Last night had been many things, satisfying and unexpected, to say the least.  But to sum it up in a single word...

“Needed,” Jean added. His eyes stayed fixed on a dark point in the distance, between the blanket of stars and the cloak of dark water. “For both of us, I think.”

It was impossible to get a read on him.  Rebecca was left to marvel at the way Jean had coaxed the answer straight from her subconscious.  Speechless, she could only nod and hum her agreement as her fingers fidgeted with the straps of her sandals.  She scanned the lido deck, looking for some sight to redirect a conversation that had gone too far, too fast for her liking.

Small groups and couples, not unlike Jean and herself, dotted the layout.  Some watched the movie, transfixed by the hilarity of a makeover montage featuring the film’s gruffest character, Buccaneer.  Others simply sat engrossed in quiet conversation and after dinner drinks.

A pair of young Xingese kids, probably high school-aged, caught Rebecca’s eye. They sat on the edge of the deck with their legs dangling into a large pool at the center.  A boy with slender, slanting eyes reached down into the water and brought his hand up, playfully splashing the girl next to him.  She laughed in response, running a prosthetic hand through her hair and clearing the water from her heart-shaped face.  And in the blink of an eye, she pulled him into the water.

The scene read like young love and are Becca watched as a childhood crush matured into something meaningful right before her eyes.  The teens chased each other through the pool and moved as if they were two halves of the same whole, different as could be and complementary down to their core.  When finally the girl caught the boy, she pinned her arms around him against the side of the deck. He laughed, brushing her bangs from her face.  The apples of her cheeks turned cherry red.

“Do you see them?” Rebecca asked, nodding subtly in the direction of the pair. “What I wouldn’t give to go back to that age knowing what I know now.”

“And what would you do differently?” Jean asked.

She told herself that he was only indulging her to be polite, but still, Rebecca answered.  Sour memories of her high school regrets were slow to be forgotten, and the question was quickly answered.

“I cared too much about what others thought,” she explained. “Spent hours trying to make my hair straighter or attempting to do my makeup the same way.  I swapped band for cheerleading and junk food for gym classes.  The only thing I never compromised on was having Riza as a best friend, and sometimes I’m afraid that the pressure I put on myself to conform rubbed off on her during difficult times.”

So much for keeping the conversation light.

“I used to be like that,” Jean admitted.

“You cared too much about what other people thought?”

“No, I regretted past stuff so much that I forgot to live in the present.”

Rebecca was surprised by his candor, and she turned to face him, unsure if she should end the conversation or listen to further insights.  Before she could give her course of action a second thought, Jean sat up, and, to Rebecca’s continued shock, he pulled at his side of his shirt.  The action revealed a patch of puckered skin, red and raised, in the shape of a crater.  Jean pointed to the modest scar on his side.

“It looks small, doesn’t it?” he said. “But that bullet nearly cost me everything.  Took me a year to walk again, and the doctors say my long term prognosis involves a wheelchair, but I can’t dwell on any of the what-ifs.  I have to take the good stuff life offers me while I can seize it.”

Rebecca couldn’t help herself.  She had to ask, needed to know why this theory of his, contrived as it might be, struck a chord.

“And what is life offering you right now?”

The question might have been bait — this much Rebecca was willing to admit.  Call their predicament fate or karma; blame it on the moonlight or the romantic music playing during the wedding scene of the movie.  Whatever forces were at work, the opportunity was there, ready and ripe for the taking.

All they had to do was seize it.  Bottle the spark that cracked between them if only for a handful of nights at sea.

Jean leaned in and tucked a lock of curly hair behind Rebecca’s ear.

“I know we agreed not to let it happen again, but I get the feeling life is offering me a second helping of what I had last night.”

It was her turn to flash a knowing grin.

“I never said the first time was the last.  I just don’t think we should let it complicate Riza and Roy’s vacation.”

“Well then,” Jean whispered.  His hot breath curled around the curve of her ear, sending shivers down her spine. “Are you hungry for seconds?”

For the second time in as many days, Rebecca/SelfRestraint.exe failed to run properly.  Fortunately, Rebecca/ThinkingTooMuch.exe was also compromised.

“Starving,” she replied.

A/N:  Surprise, @areyousanta! I am your back up gift giver for the FMA Secret Santa 2019.  I heard you like Havolina, Royai and Lingfan, so I tried to tie those ships into this modern AU. However, I admit, this one-shot is primarily fluffy (and suggestive) Havolina. The struggle to keep this fic PG-13 was real, and I'm not sure that flourchildwrites/goodjudgment.exe was functioning properly, lol. As always, I really appreciate all the kudos, bookmarks, subscriptions, comments, likes and reblogs my readers generously provide. Don't be a stranger and check out my tumblr, @flourchildwrites. Send me questions, comments or whatever else may be on your mind.

[skia-oura]

Closing Costs

A/N: Just a fun lil fic about the Ben Trio going house hunting :)

ao3

___________________________________________________

CORDALINE GABLES

Senior Sales Associate

hello@cordgab.org

Phone  HomeStar Inc. Messaging

 Originally from Fairfax, Old Jersey, Cordaline Gables made her home in Norfolk over a decade ago, and has worked in real estate for nineteen years. She double-majored in Business and Transcendence-Age Architecture at the prestigious University of San Antonio. Her expertise is in finding gems hidden in the crooks and corners of suburban Norfolk, but she is additionally skilled at scouting lovely apartments and homes further away from the city center. When she isn’t matching clients to their dream homes, Cordelia enjoys playing recreational badminton with her partner and taking long walks together with their beloved dog, Sniffles. Please place your trust in Cordelia!

Audio Version             Non-English Versions             Font Adjustment

 -

 New Automated Message: New Customer Application Form

NAME: Torako Lam

PARTNER: Yes [2] ; NAME: Bentley Farkas ; NAME: Tyrone Pines

CHILDREN: No

AGE: 27 ; DOB: June 17 3016

PHONE  EMAIL

PRICE RANGE: Up to $350,000  flexible inflexible

LOCATION: Within [75]km from [Niklakka Labs]

SIZE: 450—600 m2

BD: [3+]        

BTH: [1.5+]    

K: [Yes]          

LR: [No]

GRG: [No]

BY/GDN: [Yes]          

à SIZE: 125—175 m2

ADDITIONAL REQUESTS HERE:

--No dimensional subspaces

--Away from magically-charged hotspots

--Customizable Security Systems

--Garden Shed on premises, please

--Large Windows a Plus

Thank you for accommodating us! We look forward to hearing back about the properties under your purview and making our viewing appointments!

 -

 To: tora@lam.com

From: hello@cordgab.org

SUBJECT: Hello from Homestar Realtors!!

RECEIVED: July 19th, 3042

 Dear Torako Lam,

           It’s a pleasure to make your virtual acquaintance! My name is Cordelia Gables, and I’m your HomeStar Inc. appointed estate agent. I look forward to working with you and fulfilling your needs in this new chapter of your life. I have attached a list of five properties that I think may fit your needs. Please view them with your partners and let me know if there are any that don’t fit your specifications so that we may get them out of the way before viewing the homes in person. I await your reply at your earliest convenience!

 Sincerely,

Cordelia Gables

HomeStar Inc. Realtors

 House Profile 1/5:

1345 16th Avenue

Norfolk, VA 68C 22980

4 Beds  | 2 Bath  |  529 m2  | $298,000

[49 img]

 A lovely four-bedroom family home, this property includes high-quality faux-wood flooring, recently renovated wallboard, and a lovely spiral staircase straight out of a 2500’s property magazine. The kitchen boasts a brand-new stove and oven set as well as a state of the art StayFridge™ made from the finest recycled materials from North Africa. The front garden is already blooming with the loveliest daphnes, and the entire property is fenced in by rosebushes. The backyard is perfect for the smallest feet, whether those be of children or beloved pets. Don’t forget the stylish and practical EverExpanding Cabinetry installed in every part of the house—you will never run out of storage space! Each bathroom boasts a shower-tub combo, and the upper floor bathroom comes with gorgeous hand-tiled floors.

House Profile 2/5:

195 St. Phillip’s Crtwy.

Norfolk, VA 68C 22980

3 Beds  | 3 Bath  |  501 m2  |  $311,000

[12 img]

 This three-bedroom, three-story property sits in the center of the city, a mere five-minute’s walk from two elementary schools and ten minutes from the nearest junior high school. While the original structure dates back all the way to 2258, its most recent renovation was completed less than five years ago in 3039. You are certain to love the open kitchen-dining-living room setup that comprises the bottom floor, leaving the remaining three beds and two baths on the upper two floors. Each bedroom has a Magical View Window, with settings that include worldwide destinations as well as the default ‘Real’ setting for those who prefer to stay close to home. Comes with a Laundry Room in an AltBasement. Gardening space and shed included.

 House Profile 3/5:

98 Summer Estates 29¾ th St.

Norfolk, VA 68C 22981

5 Beds  | 2.5 Bath  |  598 m2  | $253,000

[28 img]

             Don’t let this house’s exterior fool you! This customizable and generous home is sure to make you feel a sense of belonging inside with its cozy ethically-sourced carpets, warm ReelWoodTM paneled walls, and burnished staircase leading to a second floor. This home includes a basement for any storage needs as well as an attic! An antique kitchen with a real non-stasis fridge are sure to fill you with longing for older, simpler times away from the busy heyday of modern life and modern worries. While the garden needs some tender love in the front (perfect for those who love a project!), the back hosts two sheds and plenty of space to grow your own produce!

 House Profile 4/5:

637 S. Felicity Dr.

Norfolk, VA 68C 22982

4 Beds  | 2 Bath  |  645 m2  | $290,000

[118 img]

             Comfortably situated in the hilly outskirts of Norfolk, this property will let you live out all your rural life fantasies without sacrificing the conveniences of urban living. Located close to a municipal transport station and within a ten minute’s bike ride of a small neighborhood shopping center, this two-story house boasts an expansive front porch and a balcony off the master bedroom. Each bedroom is larger than average, and each bathroom has a shower/tub room separate from the toilet and wash sink. The kitchen is recently renovated with state of the art appliances included in the price of purchase. The grounds around the property are large enough for both a garden and for outdoor activities such as badminton or good old fashioned tag. A basement provides adequate storage space without the hassle of dimensional subspace installment or upkeep.

 House Profile 5/5:

12841 NE 112th Pl.

Norfolk, VA 68C 22981

3 Beds  | 1.5 Bath  |  398 m2  |  $215,000

[56 img]

             Boasting a reasonably large garden, this cozy home is at the southern end of the city, within convenient distance of a major hospital, a police station, and several schools. Public transportation is not an issue! And neither will be cooking in the quaint kitchenette, set directly across a furnished dining room. One bedroom and half bathroom are on the bottom floor, and the remaining rooms are located on the second floor. Please see the attached images for more information!

 -

 July 19th

KoraTora

I’ve forwarded you the message the realtors sent me. Objections to any of these before I comb through them for my own preferences?

 DipTipTyrone

i still vote we just shack up with the sheep

 KoraTora

Oh my stars dips that’s

we agreed that’s not a possibility

we would literally go insane

 Bentley:

No, we would go mad almost immediately

Yes what Tora said

Um, looking at them, House 1 is out for sure. You sure you specified no extra-dimensional subspaces?

 KoraTora

You know I did

 DipTipTyrone

i got a perfectly good house up there. antique. ud love it. historians dream. excellent neighbors too. dont pry. no drama.

also protip house3 has some srs bad vibes. I think I actually recognize the basement wallpaper, on second thought.

 KoraTora

????

 DipTipTyrone

Yeah, that striping—oh, that was a pretty good one. Didn’t need to answer a call for the following five years.

 Bentley

In that case, I think we’re not going to do house 3, Tora.

 KoraTora

Ohshit

Whaddya mean, Ben?? Don’t want to live there?? It could???? Be fun!!!!

 Bentley

Yeah no

 KoraTora

Roger that, no worries.

So no to 1 and 3, any others problematic?

Oh wait Ben, u might want to take another look at 2 if u haven’t already.

 Bentley

?

What do you mean, it looked fine?

3 stories are good by me

Sure the counters in the kitchen are ugly in the photos but?

 DipTipTyrone

AltBasement and Magic Windows

u wont like them

 Bentley

Oh

Okay, then 1-3 are all out. You good with 4 and 5, Tora? Dip?

 KoraTora

Yeah I hated 2’s counters too

So I’m good with checking 4 and 5 out for now.

We can always see others after this too!!

 DipTipTyrone

youre the ones actually living there

 KoraTora

Don’t u start on that mister

ur living with us, even if you’re not always around

 Bentley

It’s gonna be your home too, you know

Anyways, I can make time for an appointment next week, Tora, so don’t worry about timing on my end too much

They keep trying to send me home early anyways. Keep talking about PTSD and resting and whatever.

 KoraTora

What happened??

I will drag you home

And lay on you

And make you rest

 Bentley

Nothing happened!! They’re just worried

All the time

…Dipper you did not show up at the front desk.

This is not a good place for you

Dipper

 KoraTorako

Dipper yes!!

But also no!!!!!!

 DipTipTyrone

We’ll be home soon.

Love you.

 KoraTorako

<3

But also that was dumb shit you just pulled

 -

Appointment Notice

7/21/42

SSA: Gables, ID 980039385

CLIENT: Torako Lam +2, ID 64239

PROPERTIES: House #4428, House #6609

START TIME: 10:30, from HomeStar Inc. HQ

END TIME: 12:30, SPECIAL ALLOWANCE Late Lunch Hour, Gables, ID 980039385

NOTES:

Will initially view House #4428 before venturing out to the outskirts of Norfolk to view House #6609. Hopefully one suffices; if not, consider suggesting Houses #1103, #4345, and #3327.

Potentially choosy clients.

 -

 Shari Ndadia, 11:28 AM

Cords, I heard you’re back early?

What happened?

 Cordelia Gables, 11:29 AM

My intuition was right, they are uncannily choosy clients

We didn’t even make it into 4428 before one of them stopped still and said ‘No.’

 Shari Ndadia, 11:29 AM

Holy shit

What??

What was it?? It couldn’t have been the exterior. It was so nice in the pics I’ve seen.

You always snatch up the nice ones.

 Cordelia Gables, 11:30 AM

Apparently

The InvisiFence was too magical

 Shari Ndadia, 11:30 AM

What the?

But, like, almost all the houses in Norfolk proper have InvisiFences?

 Cordelia Gables, 11:30 AM

Exactly

Which is why I thought ‘oh thank God we’ve got 6609, no InvisiFence’

And it went well at first, but then I told them about the security system

And the tall one was like ‘oh no’

And I was also like ‘oh no’

 Shari Ndadia, 11:32 AM

Wait

Wait

You’re still at square one with these clients?

 Cordelia Gables, 11:32 AM

Yes.

 Shari Ndadia, 11:32 AM

You? Queen of Sales?

She Who Strikes Yes On At Least One Initial Property?

 Cordelia Gables, 11:33 AM

Like I said: choosy.

 Shari Ndadia, 11:33 AM

What was wrong with the security system?

 Cordelia Gables, 11:33 AM

Not customizable

Though to be fair

They probably were only going to give that house a maybe

They weren’t too thrilled about the stasis fridge

 Shari Ndadia, 11:35 AM

…choosy.

I wish you luck with them. You going to go through our backlog of communal properties yet?

 Cordelia Gables, 11:36 AM

I’m not that desperate yet.

 -

To: olpink@homstar.com

From: cogable@homestar.com

SUBJECT: Issue with Client Lam [64239]

RECEIVED: July 30th, 3042

Mx. Pinkflax

           I regret to inform you that I have truly exhausted all of our listed properties for Client Lam and her partners. They have refused everything I have offered; I wonder myself if the property they want even exists within Norfolk. Between their confusing and adamant disdain for any kind of dimensional subspace (including things as mundane as storage spaces) and their insistence on customizable security systems, as well as their avoidance and hesitance around any kind of technology that involves stasis in any way, shape, or form, it has been impossible to fulfil their needs with the properties available to us.

           My suggestion moving forward is to either assign them to another Realtor within HomeStar, or to transfer their entire application to another company. If I recall correctly, you are on friendly terms with Lindquist Realtors. Perhaps something in their directory will suffice.

 Sincerely

Cordelia Gables

 To: cogable@homestar.com

From: olpink@homestar.com

SUBJECT: RE: Issue with Client Lam [64239]

RECEIVED: July 30th, 3042

Cordelia,

           Are you sure there’s nothing? You’ve gone through the communal backlog? I’ve looked over the application and I have some thoughts. What about House #7421? Or #8577? They’re a bit above price range, but I believe they could work.

 Olive Pinkflax

 To: olpink@homstar.com

From: cogable@homestar.com

SUBJECT: RE: Issue with Client Lam [64239]

RECEIVED: July 30th, 3042

Mx. Pinkflax,

           With all due respect, I have met with this trio every day for the last week. I dug into the backlog. I have recommended over 50 properties and shown them about a third of those. I was close with #4443, but the damn pet flap and subspace pet room killed it. If I don’t get a break from dealing with these very nice, very terrible clients, I will explode. The brown haired one has taken to very poorly concealed laughter whenever the hoodie-mask one refuses to set foot on the property. I cannot.

           If you have ideas of properties that would suffice, please be my guest. It would be nice to get back into the practical side if things, wouldn’t it?

 Sincerely,

Cordelia Gables

 -                              

 OLIVE PINKFLAX

Senior Realtor

hello@pinkoliv.org

Phone  HomeStar Inc. Messaging

 Born and raised in Norfolk, Olive Pinkflax hasn’t always wanted to be in the real estate business. They studied History of Architecture and Design in Georgia at the University of Savannah with the intent of pursuing a career in either graphic design or interior decorating. They then went abroad to work at non-profit agencies for a total of five years—in which the job market back home changed, largely at the fault of the Recession of 2978. Due to a lack of job openings, however, they eventually took a secretarial position at UniqNorfolq, a small real-estate business. There, they learned the tools of the trade due to insufficient staffing. By 2995, UniqNorfolq had become HomeStar under Pinkflax’s capable hand. While still small, they have grown the company into a name synonymous with quality, perseverance, and dedication to their clients. When not busy at their company, Pinkflax enjoys painting at home and doting on their pet rat, Squeakums.  

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 -

 Client Transfer Notice, HomeStar Inc. Realtors

7/30/42

CLIENT: Torako Lam +2, ID 64239

ORG SSA: Gables, ID 980039385

NEW SSA: Pinkflax, ID 980012114

REASONING:

Client Lam and her partners have proven to be challenging cases. As this is the case, I have decided that the current best course of action would be to handle their properties personally. Attached to their case file are a list of all the properties that they have been recommended and shown, as well as notes describing their reasons for discontinuing interest. I am open to collaboration and ideas.

Pinkflax

 -

 July 31st

KoraTorako

We’ve been transferred to another Realtor at HomeStar, guys. Apparently it’s the owner of the company.

Bentley

I was afraid this would happen.

We’re being so picky.

DipTipTyrone

Better to be picky now and end up with what we want later!

A quickly made deal is always worse for the receiving party. Better to bide our time.

KoraTorako

Yeah, what Dip said

Also, of course we’re picky??? We’re traumatized.

We’re allowed to be picky, even if they don’t know why.

Bentley

I mean…I could live with a subspace we’d never use, I guess

KoraTorako

No

DipTipTyrone

No

Bentley

Why??

It’s my hangup

KoraTorako

You’re already compromising on stasisware

Bentley

We can always replace that!!

KoraTorako

So?? It still makes you super uncomfortable for completely valid reasons.

I still think we shouldn’t compromise on that.

Bentley

If we didn’t compromise on that

There would be nothing in Norfolk

I’m starting to think there is nothing with our current demands

The house on Clement was cute, wasn’t it? It was nice!

DipTipTyrone

It had the subspace pet flap

Bentley

That we’d never use!!

KoraTorako

You looked ready to start sparking

Or glittering

And also you had that ‘I’m on the edge of reexperiencing all of my recent traumas’ face on

Bentley

If I can deal with everything in daily life

I can deal with a pet flap

KoraTorako

But it’s our home

You shouldn’t have to deal with it at home

This is supposed to be a safe space.

DipTipTyrone

Home isn’t daily—ok Torako got me.

Bentley

It’d be better than the apartment we’re living in right now

Which

If you remember

Is where I got kidnapped from

DipTipTyrone

I do keep mentioning we can live with the Sheep

KoraTorako

You make a fair point, Bentley But also, this is a house we’re going to be in for a long while

Let’s make it worth it, ok?

Bentley

I

Fine, whatever

KoraTorako

I don’t want us to live here either

If we need to we can, I don’t know, AirDrop an apartment for a couple months

Keep our stuff in the apartment so that we don’t have to move it all immediately

We can make this work, Ben. We can have our steak and eat it too.

…

Bentley?

 -

Appointment Notice

8/03/42

SSA: Pinkflax, ID 980012114

CLIENT: Torako Lam +2

PROPERTIES: House #7421, House #8577, House #2468, House #1697

START TIME: 12:30, departure from HomeStar Inc. HQ

END TIME: 15:30, departure either from House #1697 or from HomeStar Inc. HQ in best case scenario

Starting with Houses #8577 and #7421 on the very outskirts of Norfolk, we will work our way into the center of town where both House #2468 and #1697 are located. None of the properties have any listed subspace technology integrated into the premises, none of them have magically-powered fences or windows, and only one comes equipped with a stasis fridge. Will make offer to replace fridge with an older but still highly functional device free of charge if the property is accepted.

 -

Client Profile Update

DATE:8/03/42

CLIENT: Torako Lam +2 [Bentley Farkas, Tyrone Pines]

CLIENT ID: 64239

CLASSIFICATION: Buyer

SPECIFICATIONS: Listed below

…

PROPERTY RECORD:

SSA: Gables, ID 980039385

 House #1212: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Extra-dimensional installations and heavy reliance on Magitech Appliances. [detail: Kitchen Appliances, Cabinetry]

 House #3958: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Extra-dimensional installations and heavy reliance on Magitech Appliances. [detail: Alternative Basement, Windows]

 House # 2249: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Basement wallpaper and house history. [detail: 2950’s owners were heavily involved with the Cult of Futures Past, Decorative Preferences]

 House #4428: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Heavy reliance on Magitech Appliances [detail: InvisiFence surrounding property. Client Farkas refused to cross the boundary, saying “No” nearly immediately. Apparently sensitive to magical energy. Caution moving onwards is advised.]

 House #6609: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Security System installed in the property is incapable of being customized. [detail: Client Lam has expressed that a non-customizable security system is out of the question. Furthermore, Client Farkas expressed discomfort with the Stasis Fridge. Caution moving onwards is advised.]

 House #1033: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Interior did not align with Client Decorative Preferences. [detail: shag carpeting, loud wallpaper, windows too small]

 House #3290: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Security System installed in the property is incapable of being customized.

[detail: Client Lam somehow pieced together the security code engraved around all the doors and windows, researched it, and discovered that the code is unalterable without starting over completely from scratch. IE, a warding expert carefully sanding down the inscribed code and then re-installing it to customer specifications. The House Profile has since been updated. Client Lam has since expressed that she would be open to having an initially insecure home to make secure herself. Uncertain if actually qualified to do such work.]

 House #5533: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Household Electrical Wiring is too reliant on MagiTech. [detail: Client Farkas, again, expressed his distaste with the whole affair immediately upon entering the house by saying, “No,” and walking out again. How he noticed the wiring through solid wall is a mystery for the ages. Sensitivity to magic alone cannot explain it.]

 House #7567: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Interior did not align with Client Decorative Preferences. [detail: Upon seeing the decoratively engraved floorboards up close, Client Pines recoiled and uttered, verbatim, “The day I spend any significant amount of time in this accursed home is the day I lay waste to the whole of humanity.” Apparently the script contains excerpts from the original Twin Souls literature. Housing detail has been accordingly updated.]

 House #2675: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Interior did not align with Client Decorative Preferences. [detail: Apparently, Clients Lam, Farkas, and Pines are not fans of rooster-themed kitchen décor.]

 House #1181: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Basement too reliant on MagiTech and extra-dimensional subspace technology. [detail: The basement was a secret basement. Client Pines stared at the living room floor for an uncomfortably long time before raising his head and telling the SSA, “You might want to be careful opening that.” Property Owner has since been alerted and advised to proceed with caution.]

[UPDATE 7/29: Property has been pulled from the market while police reopen a case and conduct an investigation.]

 House #4482: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Interior did not align with Client Preferences. [detail: 3 bedrooms minimum is non-negotiable and the bathrooms were too cramped]

 House #5319: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Interior did not align with Client Decorative Preferences. [detail: They don’t like the color of the walls. Note to stay away from overly bright greens and yellows in the future.]

 …

[scrolling]

…

 House #5497: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: House Address. [detail: like many other clients before them, the prospects of living at 6969 Dickinson Straightway appear to have caused the clients to decline this particular property.]

 House #9569: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Building Materials not up to Client Standards. [detail: After showing the clients around the property for fifteen minutes, Client Lam hummed, squinted her eyes at the nearest window, and said, “Does that window look like somebody could break through it to you two?” The next five minutes were spent by Clients Lam and Pines discussing the fragility of triple-reinforced glass against various potential weapons, tools, etc {not limited to but including demonic powers, a bazooka, and a thumbtack} while Client Farkas sat down on the floor, put his gloved hands over his face, and muttered a nearly unintelligible “I’m sorry” to presumably the SSA. These clients are hopeless.]

 House #4443: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Pet Flap and Pet Room are too reliant on extra-dimensional subspaces. [detail: Client Farkas stared at the pet flap, turned around, and put his hand on the SSA’s shoulder before saying, “No,” and walking out. Housing information has since been updated to include the unlisted Pet Room.]

 House #3944: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Unclear. [detail: Client Lam, in the emailed response, simply said, “Look, we’re all tired and this house is too square(?) for {Client Pines}, so we’re just gonna give it a couple days before trying again.”]

[SSA is going to file for a transfer of client.]

 SSA: Pinkflax, ID 980012114

 House #7421: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Distance.

Detail: Too far from nearest transporter station.

SSA Comments: Clients appeared pleased with most aspects of the house. As per SSA Gable’s consultation, Client Lam appears most concerned with matters of household security. Client Farkas is harder to read, due to constantly wearing sunglasses, a hoodie, and a surgical mask despite the weather, but does not hesitate to make his opinions clear. Client Pines is…a mystery.

 House #8577: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Décor, House Layout, Location.

Detail: Housing does not come with security, but the spackled walls and ceiling are apparently difficult to do the variety of warding Client Lam is used to. Layout is, according to Client Pines, confusing. House 8577 is also apparently on the edge of a minor magical hotspot, as Client Farkas has confirmed.

SSA Comments: The difficulty in getting the clients a suitable home is evident. Client Farkas appears to be the biggest wildcard, despite his consistency in what he refuses. There simply does not seem to be a reliable way to ensure that the properties will not set him against them and are simultaneously up to other standards shared by all three clients.

 House #2468: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: House Size, presence of Extra-Dimensional Subspace, Décor.

Detail: At 780m2, the premises were too large for upkeep. While Client Pines seemed to disagree, offering to do more cleaning in exchange for snacks and ice cream, both Client Lam and Client Farkas weren’t convinced enough to ignore the décor (the elaborate crown molding is too “ostentatious” and “creepy,”) and certainly not when the non-disclosed extra-dimensional subspace was discovered in a false wardrobe.

SSA Comments: After the clients left, I investigated. Inside the subspace, kept pristine likely only by the fact that time does not pass quickly within those places, was an additional bed and a luxurious bathroom. The style of bedsheets and drapes indicates that the subspace was installed nearly a century ago, which seems odd seeing as subspaces in those days were unstable and tended to disintegrate. On a different note, this time it was both Clients Pines and Farkas who balked at the presence of the subspace. Take note to pay more attention to reactions in the future, and to survey properties properly before visitations.

 House #1697: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Security System.

Detail: Client Lam disagreed with the validity and effectiveness of the existing security system, and upon a close study of it (25 minutes), declared that it would be too difficult to properly alter and that removal would only be slightly easier.

SSA Comments: I would pay for the removal myself if it made these clients buy the house. There were no other issues with it. Upon my making the offer out loud, Client Lam laughed and said, “No, no, that’s all right! I’d rather find something a little more ready first!”

 House #2292: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: House Layout.

Detail: House is built like a townhome, with a main room and bathroom on each of its 5 levels; Clients professed concern regarding the kitchen being on a separate floor from the living and dining room.

SSA Comments: Unfortunate. The building fit all of their specifications—the security system installed is simple to both customize and remove, there are miraculously no extra dimensional spaces on premises, and the only significant presence of magical technology in the entire property is the mailbox, which can be replaced at a very low cost. We investigated ourselves. Client Lam, their partnership’s point of contact, did say that it was a close call, but that ultimately they would only purchase when completely satisfied.

 House #1357: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Décor.

Detail: Client Pines felt the colors were too ‘smorple’ and ‘floreen’ and several other descriptors that do not appear in any dictionary. When asked if he had noticed the issues when viewing the profile sent to them, he confessed that the colors simply ‘were different in person.’ Client Lam agreed that she didn’t appreciate the tile flooring in the kitchen. Client Farkas was quiet.  

SSA Comments: I hate to admit it, but I know a lost cause when I see one. Do they even want a house?

 -

 To: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

From: olpink@homestar.com

Attached: ClientRecord64239.qbf

SUBJECT: A Professional Request

RECEIVED: August 7th, 3042

Dearest Qilar,

             I hope that this message finds you well. How is your family doing? I (and Squeakums, for that matter) look forward to our bi-weekly dinner and movie. I know you’ve discussed that the last full moon has left you feeling worn out, and I look forward to relaxing with you for a night.

           I write this message in the hopes that you would be amenable to taking on a client of ours. Unfortunately, we have been incapable of finding a property that would completely satisfy their desires. We have exhausted our listings. I know that you have several properties in Norfolk, and even those close to major terminals outside of Norfolk. I also know that you like a challenge.

           Attached is the client file for your information. Names and personal information have, of course, been redacted. They will be readable upon your agreement to take these clients on. The clients have of course been notified about this possible course of action. Should you decline this case, I would be more than understanding.

 Well wishes to you and yours,

Olive Pinkflax

 -

 To: tora@lam.com

From: hello@qilarlind.org

SUBJECT: Welcome to your experience at Lindquist Realtors!

RECEIVED: August 10th, 3042

 Dear Ms. Lam,

           Hello. My name is Qilar Lindquist. You and I have not had the pleasure of meeting, but I am sure that when we do, it will be wonderful. As you may know, my good friend Mx. Pinkflax conveyed to me their concerns that they didn’t have the property best suited to you in their register. However, with access to a larger company such as Lindquist Realtors, they hoped that you would have more success. If you are still obliging, I am more than happy to take you and your partners on as clients of Lindquist Realtors. It would be thrilling to find you the house you and your partners have been dreaming of. Please respond to this message as soon as you are capable, so that we may begin the process.

 Sincerely,

Qilar Lindquist

Lindquist Realtors

 -

 QILAR LINDQUIST

Senior Realtor

hello@qilarlind.org

Phone  Lindquist Realtors Homepage

Alternative Display Options

             While not born and raised in Norfolk, Qilar Lindquist has been settled in this fine city for the past 20 years. A born werewolf, Qilar has always wanted to follow his parents’ footsteps. He succeeded as well, opening up a new branch of Lindquist Realtors in Norfolk at the tender age of 28. He studied business, architecture, and chemistry at the University of Des Moines. Intelligent, quick-witted, and charming, Qilar Lindquist is dedicated to serving his clients in any way he can. Outside of work, he is involved with the local community theater and can be found volunteering at various non-profit goodwill organizations around the city. His husband often joins him in these endeavors.  

 Back to Realtor Biographies Homepage

 -

 August 13th, 3042

Chat with Saint Akuapem

6:36 PM

Thank you for the scones the other day. Hepsa enjoyed them.

So did I.

How is house-hunting going?

6:59 PM

Sorry, still working that Thompson case.

Thanks for working with me on it.

And the house hunting’s not going so great.

7:12 PM

Of course. You’re bright. I like hearing your input.

Just not situated to be a public officer of the law.

What with your friend.

7:13 PM

I know.

7:13 PM

I’m sorry to hear it is not going as well as hoped.

Would you like to talk about it?

7:14 PM

The realtor company you recommended couldn’t find anything for us

So we’ve been transferred to another realtor.

7:15 PM

Nothing? Really?

What realtor?

7:15 PM

Yeah, nothing. Lindquist Realtors.

7:16 PM

Hepsa says they are good. You are in good hands.

7:16 PM

Yeah, we had our first house hunting today.

I’m just worried it’s going to go nowhere here as well.

7:18 PM

Sorry for saying but. I find that hard to believe.

You will find a house.

What are your specifications?

7:19 PM

Ummm 3 BR 2 BTH Defs LDK

450-600 SQM

Garden with like 100-200 SQM?

No Magitech if possible, no exdim subspaces at all

Security system gotta be customizable or not there at all

We can be a little picky with décor sometimes

And house gotta be sturdy

There’s probably something else

7:26 PM

I see.

That would be difficult.

Are you willing to compromise on anything?

7:27 PM

Price. I put down 350k but if it gets me the house I want

Then I’ll pay more.

7:27 PM

Understood.

Where are you staying now?

7:27 PM

Still in the apartment

Got the lease to finish

Hate it but until we have somewhere else

7:29 PM

…how is Bentley?

7:29 PM

He’s stressed.

With the house, and being here

He’s always having nightmares

So tired all the time

Insists on going to work though and I cant talk him out of it

I want to get a house for him

But I don’t want him to have to deal with all the shit he is in the apartment

He doesn’t see himself as important enough to take care of, sometimes

So I have to take that into account

7:32 PM

What exactly is going on, Torako?

How is Bentley not taking care of himself?

7:32 PM

Like, it’s not that I don’t understand where hes coming from

I get that I might be being a bit unreasonable

But he keeps saying ‘oh I can just DEAL with having an exdim subspace in the house’

‘never mind that it’s a huge trigger for all my trauma’

‘and that I sometimes cant stop looking at it just to make sure its still there and im still on the reality side of things’

‘ill just wear my magic-cancelling glasses all the time’

‘and be unable to sleep from the headache’

‘it’s not that big of a deal, torako, let’s have the magitech here that hurts to look at too much’

‘who cares, it’s just a fridge torako!! Not like it was used to TRANSPORT ME to a FOREIGN COUNTRY so that a MADMAN could CONDUCT EXPERIMENTS ON ME to the point that I almost took FATALLY DRASTIC ACTION’

He keeps saying he’ll just put up with his trauma like it’s a minor inconvenience!!

And he shouldn’t have to do that.

Not in a house that’s our own.

7:36 PM

Bentley was what now.

7:36 PM

Oh right

You didn’t know that part

7:36 PM

You went to get him.

7:36 PM

of course

I love him

7:36 PM

Therapy?

7:36 PM

Bentley? Yeah.

Hell of an NDA.

7:37 PM

No, you.

7:37 PM

She’s the only other person who knows everything.

Like, everything everything.

wait what?

7:37 PM

Torako.

I think you’re not doing as well as you think you are.

7:37 PM

Bentley was tortured

I wasnt

7:38 PM

I’ll believe you on that.

But you still devoted yourself to finding him.

And he was tortured, and you have to deal with the consequences of that too.

7:38 PM

???

7:39 PM

You sound stressed, Torako.

And scared.

7:39 PM

Maybe a little

But Bentleys more important rn

7:40 PM

I would say you’re both equally important.

Sorry, Torako, Hepsa is calling me; we’re going to a late night movie.

I’ll keep my eye out for you.

7:40 PM

OK

Thank you

I really appreciate it

 -

 Client Profile Update

DATE:8/15/42

CLIENT: Torako Lam +2 [Bentley Farkas, Tyrone Pines]

CLIENT ID: IMP64239

CLASSIFICATION: Buyer

CAUTION: PICKY, SPECIFIC, UNCOMPROMISING

SPECIFICATIONS: Listed below

…

LINDQUIST REALTORS PROPERTY RECORD:

SSA: Lindquist, ID 109A854D

…

…

NEW UPDATES 8/15/42

 HOUSE ID: 798A 209X

ADDRESS: 389 West Hampton Drive

SELLER: Mx. Adelaide Hanson

STATUS: DECLINED

NOTES: Unfortunately, despite attempts to the contrary, the clients were not impressed with the security system. We discussed it at length at Lindquist Realtors and felt it sufficient, but Client Lam insisted quite sternly that she needed to have full control over the system. RapierSolutions is a top of the line system. I tried to convey that to Client Lam, but she refused to hear sense. “I need to be able to alter it,” she said. “If I can’t alter it, it’s a no-go—especially with those weak windows and the shallow hinges on the entryways.” Mx. Pinkflax was not kidding around when they said Client Lam was a bit controlling over safety specifications. Possible paranoia?

 HOUSE ID: 665D 187L

ADDRESS: 9821 NW 4736 PL

SELLER: Mr. and Ms. Nakatani

STATUS: DECLINED, INACTIVE

NOTES: We combed the premises for subspaces personally. Nevertheless, Client Farkas quietly pointed out that there was a secret bunker hidden under the premises, and that it spanned the entire property. While he hastened to assure us that it wouldn’t be that much of an issue, Client Lam overheard and insisted that they wouldn’t buy any property with extradimensional subspaces. When Client Farkas attempted to tell his partner that they weren’t going to use that garden gate anyways, Client Lam shut him down. Client Pines also wandered over from where he was inspecting the brick wall of the garden, said “This place might be cursed,” and waved his partners cheerily off of the premises.

Upon notifying the authorities as required by law that there may or may not be a curse on the premises, the police shut down the premises. Any attempt to contact Mr. and Mrs. Nakatani beyond alerting them to the existence of the subspace has been unsuccessful.

UPDATE: the extradimensional basement is now the scene of a crime. 665D 187L is now under government jurisdiction.

 HOUSE ID: 278K 396V

ADDRESS: 421 Wildstar Avenue

SELLER: Mr. Fegelhorn and Mr. Gil

STATUS: DECLINED

NOTES: Client Lam, predictably, criticized the ‘astounding lack of security’ in the warding system, the ‘structural instability’ of a perfectly good cellar window, and the presence of a stasis fridge on the premises. Client Farkas was silent. Client Pines said that he ‘liked the staircase’ but that the upstairs bathroom tub was ‘too small for his preferences.’ Naturally, the clients declined the home.

 HOUSE ID: 525P 792S

ADDRESS: 98 Maplefarm S. Street

SELLER: Mrs. Polinski

STATUS: DECLINED, INACTIVE

NOTES: Surprisingly, it was not Client Lam or Client Farkas who had reason to decline the property. This is probably because Client Pines, five steps past the garden gate, hissed and bodily hauled his partners away from the grounds. When asked what the matter was, he snarled out in the most terrifying voice something about unquestionable evil and the screams of the undead. As required by Law, we have notified the authorities.

UPDATE: Property is now under police jurisdiction. Norfolk Government Demonologists and Exorcists evacuated the entire block for a full 48 hours. It seems Mrs. Polinski was being possessed by a terribly old demon, Hyutgen the Voracious and had been for an undetermined amount of time.

What is up with these Clients and finding horrific crime scenes?

-

August 15th, 3042

Chat with Handsome <3 <3 <3

5:28 PM

Darling, what’s up?

You seem to be staying late at the agency today

As of late, really.

Is it The Clients?

5:57 PM

I’m so sorry.

Yes, it is.

This is much more difficult than anticipated.

Olive called it a challenge and I was foolish enough to think I had it in the bag.

The Clients are insatiable.

There’s always something wrong with the properties. Always.

And they keep uncovering properties as crime scenes??

6:03 PM

I’m so sorry darling.

6:03 PM

I don’t know if I can do this anymore, Bayani.

I’m so tired.

I’ve shown them over 30 properties, personally.

6:04 PM

Do you want to talk it out?

I can get your favorite dinner together

We can curl up on the couch

Put on some Strandson

6:05 PM

You know what?

Yeah.

Yeah, that sounds nice.

I’ll be home in 10 minutes.

6:06 PM

See you soon <3

6:06 PM

<3 <3

 -

 To: tora@lam.com

From: hello@qilarlind.org

SUBKECT: Realtor Change Notification

RECEIVED: August 16th, 3042

 Dear Ms. Lam,

           My apologies in advance for the contents of this email, though I hope it finds you well. Unfortunately, due to my position as head of company, I am unable to continue being your Realtor. I have transferred you to the care of one of my very capable senior agents. Mx. Ya-en. I hope that you understand, and that Mx. Ya-en can see to your needs better than I have.

 Sincerely,

Qilar Lindquist

Lindquist Realtors

 -

 HARLEY YA-EN

Senior Realtor

hello@harleyyaen.org

Phone  Lindquist Realtors Homepage

Alternative Display Options

             Harley Ya-en, despite xir elderly age of 84, is one of Lindquist Realtor’s most capable senior Realtors. A psychic who can read auras, Harley Ya-en is capable of anticipating the client’s needs and emotions. This allows Mx. Ya-en practical insight into which properties will suit a buying client’s needs. Xe also has a wealth of knowledge regarding the Norfolk area due to living here for the past 50 years, and is a font of trivia sure to satisfy the most curious of souls. Xe lives with xir husband and wife, and enjoys taking road trips—

 -

 To: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

From: harleyyaen@lindquistrealtors.com

SUBJECT: LOL NO

RECEIVED: August 17th, 3042

 Qilar,

           Holy fucking shit you do not pay me enough for this. You have to transfer them. I cannot work with these clients.

Sincerely,

Harley

 -

 To: harleyyaen@lindquistrealtors.com

From: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

SUBJECT: RE: LOL NO

RECEIVED: August 17th, 3042

 Harley,

           What happened?? What did they do??

 Qilar

 -

 To: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

From: harleyyaen@lindquistrealtors.com

SUBJECT: RE: LOL NO

RECEIVED: August 17th, 3042

 Qilar,

           They didn’t do anything in particular. They’re just impossible clients—I’m thinking it’s not even their fault, entirely—and I have read their file. Even with that, I was hesitantly down for the challenge until I saw their auras and interacted with them today. I am Not Doing It. I am too old for this. Give me another assignment.

 Sincerely,

Harley

 -

 To: harleyyaen@lindquistrealtors.com

From: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

SUBJECT: RE: LOL NO

RECEIVED: August 17th, 3042

 Harley,

           I’m sorry, I need more explanation than this to take you off immediately. I handled a week. So can you. You can’t use your age as an excuse all the time.

 Qilar

 -

 To: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

From: harleyyaen@lindquistrealtors.com

SUBJECT: RE: LOL NO

RECEIVED: August 17th, 3042

 Qilar,

           Fine: here it is.

           I only got the two Clients. Client Pines was, as they said, out on important business, who knows when he’ll be back. Something was fishy about that but okay, I won’t pry, and these two are setting me off on edge a little as is so maybe it’s just that.

           Then the more I interact with them, the more I realize that Client Farkas’s aura is just fucking weird. Bananapants, CocoNutPuffs, whatever you want to call it. It’s all muddled and patchy and a headache and a half to read. It’s like somebody took his aura, threw out most of it, and stuffed a bunch of excess aura in to fill the gaps. There’s no way he was born like that, and there’s no way whatever happened was pretty (or probably even painless). He’s definitely trying, though, so I figured aight, we’ll see if we can’t compromise with this whippersnapper.

           The problem is Client Lam.

           Client Lam doesn’t want to be pleased. Client Lam, for whatever reason, is terrified. And overprotective of Client Farkas. And she’s absolutely looking for reasons to be disappointed, or she’s at least seeing shadows where there are none. We could present Client Lam with a fortress and she wouldn’t be satisfied. My bet is that whatever happened to Farkas’s aura was traumatizing, and Lam was impacted by that trauma. I showed her two viable properties at excellent prices with wonderful locations and an astounding lack of extradimensional pockets or Magitech gadgets, and she found fault with them. Neither were crime scenes, thankfully.

           You may want to assign them with somebody who has experience—but you could also use this opportunity to show some junior realtors how tough clients can be. Also, the junior realtors might not be so entrenched in the practice, and they could have some excellent ideas.

           Or you could just…send these clients to somebody else. Your choice. I’m just not dealing with it. They’ll drive me into an early grave if I take this too seriously, and you know how I get.

 Sincerely,

Harley

 -

 To: tora@lam.com

From: hello@amarshir.org

SUBJECT: Realtor Change Notification

RECEIVED: August 18th, 3042

 Dear Ms. Lam,

           Hello! What a pleasure it is to meet you. I’m writing to inform you that unfortunately, Mx. Ya-en is unable to continue handling your case. The upside is that I am able to do so in xir stead! My name is Amar Shirvani, and I’m going to be handling your case from now on. I’m excited to work with you and your partners, and hope that you are as excited to work with me! I promise I will do my best to help you achieve your housing dreams!

 Yours,

Amar Shirvani

Lindquist Realtors

 -

 AMAR SHIRVANI

Junior Realtor

hello@amarshir.org

Phone  Lindquist Realtors Homepage

Alternative Display Options

             Native to Norfolk, Amar Shirvani is the youngest member of Lindquist Realtors at 22 years old. He recently graduated from the Offet University of Business with honors. While not the most experienced, Amar brings exuberance and creative thinking to the team at Lindquist Realtors. He has been involved with volunteer work from early childhood due to his parents—

 -

 TweetyFlaps Trending

#clientwoes

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself

@Silverforks

So I’ve got a kind of sort of customer service job, right. And so far it’s been fine! I’ve had ok clients. And then Bossman slides me a paunchy one cross the table and I start to understand #clientwoes for the first awful real time. 1/ 10:48 AM        23 AUG 3042

______________________________________________________________________

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

2/ i know from the start its gonna be a Ride. Like, chalk and candles intensity. Client file is thicc w/rejected properties (im in housing). But I’m game!! Im always game, you know me haha. Unfortunately… 10:50 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

3/ these are clients from hell. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were actually demons in disguise. Here to torture me. For something. I aint actually ever summoned nothing. But like, it’s unreal how BAD this exp has been. 10:51 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

4/ for 1, they all look normal expt one of them. Head to toe, covered. Would think was vampire, but that’s usu specified in reports. Nobody’s seen his skin other than flashes. Aight, tho, I aint prejudiced, i’ll roll with it. 10:53 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

5/ so they super picky clients, right. I thought nah, they cant be that bad!! Just haven’t hooked the right worm yet. So I pick out a coupla worms (houses) that I think they might enjoy and hoo boy was that a chore, but im satisfied! Spoiler: they aint. 10:56 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

6/ they aint never gon be satisfied. #1, not-vampire client mentions v v quietly to me that sorry, theres a thing he cant deal with on premises, but mb they can still keep it in mind?? But (super good hearing???) another client hears and squawks about it. he aint having it, apparently.   10:58 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

7/ and then third client (Harpy) hears bc squawk, and she SUPER aint having it, so we just go to the next house. And the next one. And—u get it already.   10:59 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

8/ and like, im patient. Im pretty lowkey. But today’s house was—perfect?? There was nothing wrong with it. Client Hoodie didn’t say nothing bad. Liked the rooms. Client EllieEars don’t complain bout no weird curses or dead bodies or bad décor. But Client Harpy?? Client Harpy is impossible. 11:02 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

9/ u kno what she said?? She said, and I repeat: the front door is too thin.

The front door. Which is a solid 5 cm of wood (real!! Wood!!). is too thin. It’s “Insecure”. 11:03 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

10/11 I didn’t say it bc im a good worker, but I really wanted to go off on her. She’s impossible. This is the worst assignment ever. Ive worked so hard my soul’s gonna feel it 5 carnations down.   11:05 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

11/11 srsly. 5 cm of solid wood!! Insecure. Unbelievable. #clientwoes 11:05 AM        23 AUG 3042

 -

 August 23rd  

Bentley

Sally Mihn at work sent me this.

You might want to take a look.

https://tweetyflap.com/silverforks/status/1199679934986810752

 DipTipTyrone

oh boy

that’s about us alright

 Bentley

Yeah

It is

Torako

We need to have a fucking talk

 KoraTorako

We do need to have a talk with the realtors

That’s unacceptable

 Bentley

What we need to do with the realtors is apologize

What we three need to do is discuss what the fuck we’re doing

 KoraTorako

No, that was completely unprofessional

And what do you mean, what are we doing?? We’re looking for a house.

 DipTipTyrone

I’ll take care of the tweets for a pack of gummies

 Bentley

No, Dipper

Torako

We have been house-hunting for a month

We have looked at over 200 houses by this point

 KoraTorako

Thanks dip but probs not

 Bentley

And you have said no

To all

Of them

We need to fucking compromise

 KoraTorako

Compromise on what?? Our safety?? Our comfort?

 Bentley

No, on your unachievable standards

 DipTipTyrone

Oh

Oh no

 KoraTorako

Who says they unachievable??

 Bentley

The 200+ houses we’ve looked at to dismiss out of hand!

 DipTipTyrone

This is a fight, isn’t it

 KoraTorako

I’m just making sure that whatever we get will be safe!

 Bentley

Most of them HAVE been safe!

You’re just being STUPIDLY overprotective!

 DipTipTyrone

oh no im the

im the middle party aren’t i

 KoraTorako

I am not!

 Bentley

Yes you are! You need to trust me to make choices for myself!!

 KoraTorako

Well, I would if you weren’t so insistent on ignoring your own wellbeing!

 DipTipTyrone

How does one mediate

 Bentley

I’m just trying to find a fucking house! I’m trying to meet them in the middle!

 KoraTorako

Not on that you shouldn’t!

 Bentley

It’s MY choice!

 KoraTorako

And it’s MINE TOO!

You shouldn’t be in an environment that causes you to have so many fucking nightmares!

Like you are NOW

 DipTipTyrone

Uuuhhh shit shit shit um

You’re both right and both wrong?

 Bentley

Love you, but Shut up dip

And maybe I’m having nightmares because we’re still in this fucking apartment

 KoraTorako

I told you we could stay at another Rental until we found a house!

And shut up dip, im the right one here

 Bentley

You’re the right one???

We can’t solve everything with money, Torako!! And at the pace we’re going, we’d be in that rental place until our current lease is up Next January

 DipTipTyrone

…maybe this is an in-person convo?

 KoraTorako

I just want our house to be safe!! What if something happens again?

 Bentley

It won’t fucking happen again! Fantino was a one-off. I haven’t pissed off any other researchers overly invested in their research lately!

 DipTipTyrone

What about that one guy at work?

Wait no ignore that

 KoraTorako

But it MIGHT! We! Don’t! Know for sure!!

 Bentley

We don’t know that it WILL happen, Torako!

You need to just let this stupid fucking paranoia go

 DipTipTyrone

Uh

 KoraTorako

Stupid?? Fucking paranoia??

 DipTipTyrone

Bentley that was not uh

Not good

 KoraTorako

It’s not paranoia if it could happen again. It happened once.

I can’t forget that, Bentley. I can’t forget going to open that door and finding it unlocked. I can’t forget opening the apartment to you being gone, and to the wards being destroyed, and to everything I thought was keeping us safe not actually keeping us safe.

I’m not doing that, Ben.

The house we’re getting?? Is going to be fucking safe, and I am going to make it that way.

 DipTipTyrone

Torako…

 Bentley

Look, I get that

But there were ways of making the houses we looked at safe that you weren’t willing to entertain.

That one, with the green roof and the cute staircase?? That was totally viable. We absolutely could have torn the security system out with no trouble.

We literally have Dipper to do that for us.

But you said no! Like you said no to the one with the nice garden, and the one with the really big open windows.

I just want a house, Torako.

It’s not even like we’re necessarily going to live here forever? So if it’s not perfect, I’m ok. I just want somewhere to live that’s not the apartment.

 KoraTorako

And I just want us to be safe, Bentley.

I cant do this right now.

I have to go.

 DipTipTyrone

Is it over?

…fuck it isn’t, is it.

Fuck.

 -

To: hello@qilarlind.org

From: tora@lam.com

SUBJECT: Important

RECEIVED: August 23rd 3042

 Dear Mr. Lindquist,

           Hello. I’m writing to inform you that one of your employees—I’m assuming our current agent, Mr. Amar Shirvani—vented about my partners and I on a public forum. Here is the link: https://tweetyflap.com/silverforks/status/1199679934986810752

           While I understand that we have not been very accommodating clients—myself particularly—I don’t believe that this appropriate behavior. Venting is important, but the place where Mr. Shirvani chose to express his frustrations wasn’t the right one. Please convey this to him for me.

           I don’t want him to lose his job. He’s young and hasn’t learned this particular lesson yet. But I also find myself hesitant to keep working with Mr. Shirvani. Would you be willing to either transfer us to another realtor, or recommend us to another company like Mx. Pinkflax did? I would really appreciate it.

 Sincerely,

Torako Lam

Private Investigator

.

-

 To: tora@lam.com

From: hello@qilarlind.org

SUBJECT: RE: Important

RECEIVED: August 24th 3042

 Dear Ms. Lam,

           I’m very sorry to hear about what Mr. Shirvani did. We’ve discussed the incident and he understands the impropriety of his actions. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.

           While I believe that we have exhausted our properties here at Lindquist Realtors, I am happy to recommend you to a few other businesses in the Norfolk Area. They’re smaller, but perhaps they have the specific kind of property that you are looking for. I will do my best to put in a good word for you. Should that fail, I will personally endeavor to find you the house you need.

 Sincerely,

Qilar Lindquist

Lindquist Realtors

 -

 August 24th

Chat with Reynash Pines

11:01 AM

Hey Reynash

Can I ask you a question?

11:02 AM

What a surprise to hear from you via text!

Usually you just pop in and scare my soul out of my chest.

But for your question-- please ask

There’s nothing to do at work at the moment.

11:02 AM

Wouldn’t you usually leave?

Or have things changed again without me realizing it?

11:03 AM

Oh no, normally I would

But I have an appointment at 11:45 that I have to stick around for.

What’s your question?

11:04 AM

Torako and Bentley are fighting over housing.

We’ve told you about the house-hunting, right?

11:04 AM

Oh dear. Yes, I know.

Why are they fighting?

11:05 AM

Trauma. I think. They didn’t say themselves.

But I think it’s trauma.

Anyways, that’s not the important part.

What’s important is how do I help them?

11:06 AM

From the incident back around May?

Oh dear.

Are you sure that’s not the important part?

11:06 AM

Mostly.

Anyway. I just need to know how to mediate.

I haven’t mediated in…

In forever?

I can’t remember.

11:07 AM

…why are you even asking me?

11:07 AM

Because not many people know me as me

And you’re one of the only people who has known me as me for a significant amount of time and are also NOT ben or tora

And also you’re pretty calm mostly except when I show up and scare you

11:09 AM

Well

In my defense, I think most people would be scared if you showed up out of thin air and yelled strange things like WHAT YOU CRAVIN or whatever.

11:10 AM

Are you…sassy?

11:10 AM

Possibly

Back to your predicament: mediating

Have Bentley and Torako been able to talk to each other in person about this?

11:11 AM

No :(

They’ve been very quiet around each other at home.

And Bentley’s going on a trip soon.

So they won’t have a chance for a while.

Do they have to??

11:12 AM

It’s just easier to mediate when you’re all there.

Basically

They have to have the conversation, right?

Your job as mediator is to make sure they stay on task

And that no thoughtlessly cruel words are said.

11:12 AM

So they can say mean things

But they can’t mean the mean things?

11:13 AM

Okay, let me rephrase:

They’re mad at each other. They might say mean things that just hurt each other. Words that are meant to hurt each other.

They should not do that.

That does not help the conversation.

11:13 AM

Oh

Hm

So if one says the other is being stupidly paranoid

That’s where I say no, stop?

11:13 AM

Right.

11:14 AM

And if the other says one is being needlessly reckless with his own mental health

That’s where I say no, stop?

11:14 AM

Er

Maybe not, depending

Is he being needlessly reckless with his own mental health?

11:14 AM

I don’t know? Maybe? How do I tell?

11:15 AM

I can’t believe I’m saying this but

We might need to have this conversation face to face.

Please come he0-awekjhwel

11:39 AM

And remember what we discussed

And the pamphlets I sent you

And also please remind Torako and Bentley that Lata would like to see them sometime next month if they’re able to.

11:39 AM

Thanks Ray!

I really appreciate everything

Sorry for making you scream!

 -

 To: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

From: simonkhoo@khoohootrealtors.com

SUBJECT: RE: Professional Request

RECEIVED: August 25th, 3042

 Dear Qilar Lindquist

           Thank you very much for the request. I’m honored that you would consider sending us clients that you yourself could not satisfy. It honestly instills an incredible, renewed sense of capability in us here at Khoohoo Realtors.

           Upon viewing the file you sent, however, one of my junior realtors raised concerns that these particular clients may be too difficult for a firm of our moderate size to adequately deal with. Between yourselves and HomeStar Realtors, these three clients weren’t satisfied. That, to us, is a bit of a red flag. We reviewed their specifications in comparison to our own catalogue, but don’t believe we have anything that they would be interested in actually buying. Therefore, in the interest of saving everybody a great deal of time and energy, I must admit that we cannot at this time take on your clients.

 Have an excellent day,

Simon Khoo

Head of Khoohoo Realtors

 -

 To: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

From: lancefraiser@dreamhomerealtors.com

SUBJECT: RE: Professional Request

RECEIVED: August 25th, 3042

 Dear Qilar Lindquist

             Thank you very much for this request.

           Unfortunately, we don’t have the time or patience for clients that would require a great deal of energy. From the looks of the file you attached, that seems to be the case with these clients. Therefore, in short, no.

 Yours,

Lance Fraiser

Senior Realtor

DreamHome Realtors

 -

 To: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

From: naitafellen@redfinrealtors.com

Attachment: 2042-PoliceRecoverKidnappedManwithHelpFromCivillian.qbf

SUBJECT: RE: Professional Request

RECEIVED: August 27th, 3042

 Qilar,

           Long time no talk, friend!! Wow it’s been a while, I guess we’ve both been busy. I know this is a professional request and all, but we should get drinks or something!! I hear there’s a great alfree bar that’s just opened up downtown. Apparently it has killer drinks, and it of course it doesn’t have alcoholic stuff so you’re good to drink whatever.

           I took a look at the client rec you sent me, and hoo boy they’ve sure got a record! RedFin usually takes whatever, and you know that, but I don’t actually think we can get them anything?? I’d feel bad chucking properties at them that I know they won’t like. I think they’ve already checked out like three quarters of Norfolk lol. Talk about trying to summon with a broom and a lighter!

           Also, they really remind me of this one tweety I read recently? Oof, if that was one of your kiddos who posted it, you should really tell them that’s a bad call—both for them and the clients. These clients aren’t going to get anything in Norfolk, not with that popular tweety paired with that record. And if it gets out that your kiddo was the one that posted that??? Aint nobody gonna hire them, not with all this client confidentiality and all at stake. Gotta be careful what you post online, even when it is venting.

           Yo, but hey, hope you find somebody for these clients! They seem like they got some scary baggage. The one who nopes around magitec and exdims reminds me of something I read in the news a while ago—it was an article that was hushed down p quickly out of respect for the victim, but I still got the doc. I’ve attached it if you want to read! It might even help you figure stuff out with your clients, even if they aren’t the same.

 Let’s meet up for drinks sometime!

Naita Fellen

Owner of RedFin Realtors, Norfolk

Senior Realtor

 -

 August 27th

KoraTorako

I just received an email from Qilar that he’s going to continue to handle our case, but that it may take a while to comb through what properties they have left.

I said it was fine because Bentley’s off on a trip.

 DipTipTyrone

Great!!

This seems like a good time to have a heart to heart, don’t you think?

 KoraTorako

I, uh, what?

 DipTipTyrone

Bentley’s doing nothing right now! Bentley, talk

Bentley, talk or I’ll make you talk.

Bentley I know you’re at your hotel.

 Bentley

Oh my stars dip

What??

 DipTipTyrone

You guys argued a lot last time we really had a discussion

And you’re angry

And you need to talk about why you’re angry

So that you have a healthy conclusion to your argument

And so that you understand each other’s viewpoints better.

It’s important!

 KoraTorako

But why…now?

 DipTipTyrone

Because you sent that message

And I’m sure Bentley’s feeling vicious about it

 Bentley

No I’m not!

 DipTipTyrone

Yes you are

I can see your aura, and while it’s difficult to read, you’re very dlskajlkwjelkjewnsd;nlab

Aslkdjgwaelkl;kwa;ljk

Dlkjaw-000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

 KoraTorako

What the fuck

 DipTipTyrone

You can’t take my phone away from me!! Ha! I win!

 Bentley

You can’t just half slide through the wall so that I can’t tell you’ve blipped in!

What the hell??

 KoraTorako

Okay okay so youre serious about this

Fine

What do you want us to talk about

 DipTipTyrone

Your feelings, I guess?

Like, Bentley. Tell us how you feel about Torako’s latest message.

 Bentley

You’re not my therapist

 DipTipTyrone

No, but we’re family

Which means communication

So tell us.

 Bentley

Uuuuuggghhh

Fine

Torako, that email proves why it was stupid to just dismiss all the properties as soon as we saw them and I feel vindicated but also tired

 DipTipTyrone

Hey, um, you gotta cut all the negativity against the other person out of your message

Try again!

 Bentley

…

The email proves that it was wrong to dismiss the properties without really thinking further about them. I feel vindicated. I feel tired.

Happy?

 DipTipTyrone

Better!

Torako, your turn!

 KoraTorako

Oh my stars are we really doing this

This is so stupid

 DipTipTyrone

Do it

 Bentley

Yeah tora, do it

If I have to, so do you

 KoraTorako

Fine

I’m just tired, ok?? This has taken so much longer than I thought it would. And I know I’m at fault for some of it!!

But I’m sick of Bentley falling to the pressure of ‘picking’ because it’s what’s expected of us. I don’t want him to feel scared or uncertain or uncomfortable in whatever house we pick, even if we’re only there for a couple years until we can pay off the place.

 DipTipTyrone

Thank you Torako! I don’t see any unnecessarily hostile language in there, so that’s A-OK, you pass. Bentley?

 Bentley

I just feel bad because everybody’s trying so hard

And we’re being so hard on them

And sometimes I just don’t understand why you reject the houses? So what that the security system isn’t perfect. I don’t mind going to the effort of pulling it out and starting it again. Heck, I would pay Dip to do it easy!

 KoraTorako

But that’s not your problem

That’s a me problem

I just…I want it to be good from the beginning. I want it to work from the start so that we don’t have to worry about it.

 Bentley

But that’s not going to happen

Sometimes you have to work to make something work for you

And if we gotta do that

I’m fine with it

 KoraTorako

I…I guess

I’m still not completely comfortable with that

 Bentley

We can work on it together

And hey

If I promise to not say yes to houses that make me uncomfortable will you promise to give things like security systems and house integrity a chance?

Like, not dismiss them immediately?

 KoraTorako

…yeah. I can do that, I think.

 DipTipTyrone

Good!! I’m glad we had this discussion

You know, I’m a pretty great mediator!

 Bentley

Dipper I watched you leaf through those pamphlets during the discussion

But yeah

Thank you, dipper

 KoraTorako

Thank you, dipper <3

 Bentley

He’s blushing!!

Compliment him more

 DipTipTyrone

No!

Stop ganging up on me!

 KoraTorako

You’re so cute, Dips!!

 Bentley

The cutest

Aw, he’s glowing

 DipTipTyrone

I should have let you keep fighting

 -

 August 29th, 3042

Chat with Saint Akuapem

4:12 PM

Torako, how are you?

Hepsa says hello

Are you still looking for houses?

4:15 PM

Yeah, we are

Say hello back for me

I’m ok, but a bit tired.

4:15 PM

Excellent

A parent of one of Hepsa’s students mentioned that their mother passed away recently

And that they were willing to sell the property

It seems the mother was afflicted with a curse that prevented her from using most Magitech

And she didn’t trust extra-dimensional spaces

It was a family home, so there are 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a nice garden.

Would you be interested in looking at it?

4:17 PM

Are you fucking serious.

Yes please, a thousand times yes

When can we look?

4:18 PM

Let me ask Hepsa to ask for me.

4:49 PM

Would you be available tomorrow afternoon?

3:30 PM.

 4:51 PM

Oh gosh oh yes

What’s the address?

4:51 PM

Just meet me at our apartment.

We will walk you over.

4:51 PM

Officer you really are a saint

I could kiss you

4:52 PM

Bring some more of those brownies. It’ll be even then.

 -

 “So? What do you think?”

           Torako trailed her fingers across the mantle for the fireplace. It was a real one; apparently, pure electric fireplaces were hell to install and more hell to maintain. There were no runes carved into the rough brick, no faint thrum of magic that Torako could now pick up if she closed her eyes and concentrated really, really hard.

           The whole house had very little by the way of magic.

           “It’s…” Torako looked down at the fireplace proper. It had been cleaned, recently, shiny in the way that old things gleam when properly taken care of. The house had been loved, she was sure of it. “It’s not bad.”

           A touch to her elbow. She looked over at Bentley, whose eyebrows were quirked. “Torako. Please. Be honest.”

           She hummed, turned to lean against the mantle and look out the big windows that provided a view of the garden space. Unmaintained, a little wild. They could put a vegetable patch there, she thought. Maybe a couple fruit trees.

           “I’m not a fan of the front porch steps,” she said, “or the ramp. It’s a bit rickety.”

           “We can fix it up,” Bentley said. He paused, tilted his head, then gave her a sly little grin. “Or at least, we know somebody who works cheap for that kind of thing.”

           “Hey, you can’t let me hear that,” Dipper said from the other room, where he was laying flat on the ground with his ear to the floorboards. “My prices might go up.”

           “Is it all good over there?” Bentley asked in lieu of answering. Torako looked up at the ceiling, where runes or wards or protective magics would be. Magics that would be hers, so they would hurt less to Bentley’s sensitive eye.

           “No creepy basements filled with cadavers or slaughtered cultmembers, if that’s what you’re asking,” Dipper said. Thankfully, Illya had left them to look over her dead mother’s home one last time, so there were no surprised gasps or queer glances. “Though we may want a couple rugs. I think this floor gets cold in the wintertime.”

           “Windowpanes are a little thin,” she muttered to herself. Her fingers tapped against her leg. “Could stand to be a bit more reinforced—though the French doors are probably okay, they seem sturdy enough—”

           “Torako.”

           Bentley’s warm hand slid over the one on her leg. Torako looked at him again. He peered at her over the rims of his oversized sunglasses, golden eye shimmering just a little. “Is there anything seriously wrong with this place? Anything that can’t be fixed?”

           Torako pressed her lips together. The aching anxiety in her chest pressed against her sternum. She tried to ignore it, and the thoughts of shadowy figures cutting through the glass panes, burning through the front door, squeezing through the cracks in the floorboards to steal Bentley away from—

           “Hey,” Bentley said, soft.

           “Hey,” Dipper said, a little brighter and brasher. He took her hand in his human hand. “We’re here, okay?”

           Torako turned her head to Dipper, brown eyes crinkled at the edges (and when had he put wrinkles on?) and grin still just a little too wide for human mouths to stand. She took a deep breath, and exhaled.

           “No,” she said. Bentley inhaled, sharp. “No, not no no! I just meant, ugh, there’s nothing I don’t like about this house that can’t be fixed. That no. Not the ‘let’s not do this’ no.”

           Both of her boys relaxed on either side of her. “Yeah,” Bentley said. “Yeah, I thought this was a good one, too.”

           She twisted her hand in theirs so that she could hold them.

           “Plus, it’s like, dirt cheap,” Dipper said. “Who knew that buying a house without a Realtor handling fee would result in such a bargain?”

           “Okay,” Torako said, a grin starting to pull at the corners of her mouth. The sunlight from the window was warm against her feet, reaching up to soothe the phantom pains in her shins from all those months ago. “Let’s tell Ilya.”

           It would be a good home.

 -

To: olpink@homestar.com

From: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

SUBJECT: FWD: Thank you for your help

RECEIVED: August 31st, 3042

I don’t know whether to be furious or relieved. Mostly I’m just tired.

You up for dinner tonight?

Qilar

 >>To: hello@qilarlind.org

>>From: tora@lam.com

>>Attached: NewHouse+US.png

>>SUBJECT: Thank you for your help

>>RECEIVED: August 31st, 3042

>> 

>>Dear Mr. Lindquist,

           >> I email you to thank you so much for all your assistance. I don’t think we would have gotten as far as we did without you. Due to this journey, my partners and I realized some very important things.

           >>As you might have realized based on the name of the attachment, my partners and I have found a house through one of our acquaintances! It was lovely and off-market, and I probably wouldn’t have said no if it weren’t for our experiences with everybody at Lindquist Realtors and HomeStar Realtors. Thank you so much for your time and effort and energy, and I hope that you have a chance to relax now that we’re out of your hair.

>> 

>>Thank you again,

>>Torako Lam

>>Private Investigator

 -

 From: olpink@homestar.com

To: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

 Qilar,

           What the fuck, even. Truly. What the fuck.

           I’ll bring the sparkling apple cider.

Olive