#let's be bad henry let's be really bad
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starfish-spencer · 1 month ago
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very important question, what do you think all of their top songs would be on their spotify wraps?
This is an important question. Okay, here we go:
Shawn: nothing but 80's songs all the way down maybe a few 90's ones, too). I think his top track would be "Don't you (Forget About Me)" by Simple Minds followed closely by "Head Over Heels" by Tears for Fears. He'll listen to the same song over and over until he gets tired of it and moves on to another one, before cycling back and repeating it.
Gus: Gus's music taste would be all over the place. His Spotify wrapped consists of every music genre known to man. Rap, pop, classical, rock, emo, if it sounds good to him, he's saving it. His top song, though, would probably be "I Wanna be Your Boyfriend" by The Rubinoos. Nice, catchy, and appeals to his romantic daydreams.
Jules: she has great music taste, a lot of classic rock hits in there. According to her character interview on USA Network, she listens to Bon Jovi, Whitesnake, and Pink Floyd. Overall, her Spotify wrapped is a spectacular selection. (Un)fortunately, she is not immune to early 2000's pop. Her top song is "Firework" by Katy Perry.
Lassie: He lies and tells everyone that his top song was "a heavy metal song, you probably wouldn't know it," when in reality his Spotify wrapped is mostly musical theatre tunes and ABBA. His top track is "You're The One That I Want" from Grease.
Chief Vick: all Phil Collins, who else? She's in his top 0.01% of listeners. Her top song is "Invisible Touch" by Genesis (Phil Collins' band).
Buzz: huge boy band fan. His top song is "Kokomo" by the Beach Boys. He thinks it's catchy.
Henry: would never pay for Spotify Premium and hates the free version
Woody: alpaca mating calls
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cosmicdenro · 3 months ago
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day 152 tweaking. i wanted to post this separately bc ive been thinking of rhm and wilhelm more often now
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thetimelordbatgirl · 10 months ago
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Why must a twitter post make me choose who has the worst parnets between Horrid Henry, Doofenshmirtz, Priya from Total Drama Island and Sora from Lego Ninjago??? They all got shit parents in different ways, there's no contest between them.
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twinksintrees · 3 months ago
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my brain hurts
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fideidefenswhore · 4 months ago
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'anne knew how to play henry' is presumptive, speculative narrative; but even where there's a place for it (fiction) ; their likely first 'meetings' (encounters? more like, same place, same time occurences, technically speaking) are almost never given the foreshadowing and hint of narrative structure that one could use...
#the tudors. brushed against it; that's the drama that came the closest; really.#if the tudors had dropped 2022; let me tell you...all the tiktoks would be that focog scene w i bet on losing dogs BLASTING in the bg......#bsr sort of did but only by using the device of anne speaking reflectively in the tower#i actually think it works better as a device if they don't interact directly; and not only because that's probably the most accurate take#but narratively; it's more in-tune#the first time she saw him was in triumph (1513); the second time was in loss (1520)#so like. as far as first encounters go. it's not such a bad insight into what makes him tick#but i think it works better if she's a spectator like everyone else#and i think it works better with both bcus it was relatively unlikely for someone of her status and origin to have even have been#in lille and then in that french valley at those times#and yet she was#very few people were at both of those events; and those that were would've known henry well (wolsey)#and she doesn’t . not then. but one could definitely hint at that being the origin of her insight; laying the bedrock for it ; as it were …#*singular or at least. unique. insight#they would’ve been strong impressions .#also whether the creator is going for 1501 or 1507; either way in 1513 anne was a child#and children notice more. they absorb more .#books don’t really do this either …#g Lawrence came closest ; tarnish made an attempt but it was saur… creepy….
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suits-of-woe · 2 years ago
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you can tell i'm too deep into shakespeare studies because i've started developing a mental list of plays that are not good, not bad, but interestingly bad maybe on purpose in a way that makes them somehow loop back around to being good
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kellystar321 · 1 year ago
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#periodical life updates#(<- NUMBER 3!!!) I FINISHED THE ANIMATION AND EVERYTHING FOR THAT PROJECT AND SENT IT OFF! super excited!!#it looks really cute! i tried my best and im mostly satisfied of where i landed <33#it's my little sibling's birthday today!! it's also the first official meeting of lgbt club!! (the other event was a fun lgbt mixer)#my backpack smells bad. like mildew or mold maybe? urgh its awful and gives me a headache. i might need a new one. i dont know. urghhh.#my programming homework is due today!! yike!! but other than that my personal projects with deadlines are all done!#INIQUITY NOW THAT YOU HAVE TIME ARE YOU FINALLY GONNA WORK ON YOUR SELF SHIP BLOG?? YES!! HOPEFULLY!!#truthfully i /have/ been working on it on the side. it looks decent but the colors;;; i have always been pretty sht at color picking?#i can adjust with filters but without that im like. a little not good yet lmao. gotta do some studies sometime perhaps#BUT YAY EXCITED!! ive got some rambles and doodles and a tag system and f/o info which is extremely cumbersome (affectionate)!!#also i have new fandom ocs for the latest dimension 20 campaign and im so delighted heho <33 this campaign is literally so fun.#im watching it with my sibling when its done!! OOH ALSO I FIGURED OUT HOW TO PNGTUBE AND i will likely never use it BUT COOL!!#i dont like. talk. lmao. my art streams are 1) silent 2) rare 3) only shared with my siblings. pngtuber is a little useless. but CUTE!!#i got boba tea yesterday!! sandy bought it :3 <3 and we're having pho and cheesecake later and i might plan out a little excursion today?#like i might get a treatsie. OR i'll just sit on campus as usual and get a mango smoothie and draw for a while (or work on homework.)#(lets be honest its likely the former. i might get a little back into traditional? ooh or maybe i'll practice my asl?) HEY THOUGH.#ive been thinking about making a henrey stickmn (ask)blog to practice asl? like. no plot. just henry teaching ellie and charles asl#really funny considering my Real concept of an askblog for THSC. not ace or eca; but a secret third thing (⛎) ;)#then again since when have i EVER followed through on an askblog lmao?? damb im all over the place today. we're already hitting tag limit#okay!! 3 AM!! if im going early tomorrow i gotta eep! goodnight everyone i love you!! see you tomorrow if i have the energy and time!!
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spacedlexi · 2 years ago
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up until this point i feel like hbo’s tlou has been pretty good at expanding upon pre-existing content from the game, but for me this new episode was kinda mid..
i wouldve liked to see more expansion on sam and henrys story, or maybe even kyle and ish?? (loved that story)(they showed the drawing of them for a half second and they renamed kyle for no reason 💀). but instead we get introduced to this kathleen (?? can barely remember her name) lady who i couldnt get myself to care about. cared more about her 2nd in command guy
sam and henry were my favorite of the original supporting cast and they have to share their time with this lady that puts me to sleep, while frank and bill got nearly an entire heartfelt episode dedicated to them
with the side stories theyre choosing to tell so far i feel like by the time we get to part 2 its gonna be like “we’re doing THIS again??” (and part 2 was already kinda like that for me as in it didnt really do anything new or interesting for me)
like oh my god we’re still going on about revenge and forgiveness and ooooh nobody is perfectly good or bad we are all shades of grey 2 sides of the same coin yadda yadda except now theyre all self aware about it 😭💀
like can we write anything else?? besides trying to make both sides of a violent conflict equal of course because they love doing that (dont think i forgot abt the weird palestine/israel parallel in pt2 i think that was the worst one for me). but kathleen is basically just abby again and unless part 2 is a complete rewrite then im gonna be honk shoo mimimimi ASLEEP
#hbo tlou#tlou hbo#spoilers for the new ep and i guess part 2??#but yeah ive been mostly enjoying this show up until this point#but theres been like a little gnat every once in a while buzzing annoyingly at my ear#and i go 'ugh shut up fuck off' and swat it away#and im still enjoying it dont get me wrong#i really wanted them to do sam and henry well so my bar was high and that little fuckin gnat is buzzing at me again#indulge my little rant so i can let it out and cool off#i like tlou as a whole but i do feel like at this point these are things that i guess niel?? suffers with as a writer#and whoever else is in the writing room with him#cuz these are problems ive had with the games too#grabs my airhorn AND I STILL LIKE IT!!!!!!! I STILL LIKE THE LAST OF US!!!! YOU CAN HAVE CRITIQUES AND LIKE SOMETHING!!!!!!#sometimes people act like you say anything bad about something and suddenly it means you hate the whole thing and why are you watching it??#you are so BORING#but ive been very nice to this show so far so let me have this#it speaks#also just a little thing they made henry less 'savvy' i guess and more reckless? game henry was tense and no nonsense but also chill#like they had him trip up a few times and i was like psh game henry would only do that on accident#just really dont like how they handled sam and henry like whyd they do that....liked it better when he was also an outsider to the city#and i have mixed feelings about....sams whole thing...#SIGH BIG SIGH OH WELL at least i still have game sam and henry to look forward to i will be getting back to that stream#its been almost a decade and game sam and henry manage to rip my heart out EVERY single time like i said the bar was so high#so im not holding the S+H stuff against them as much as i am the fuckin revenge/forgiveness shit#im so tired of it#if this story was supposed to be some kind of precursor to pt 2 then like i think theyre starting to overdo it
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childofaura · 2 years ago
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Ok I thought I was gonna be making one nitpicky rant about TLoU show deaths but
I guess I’m actually making two. Because I saw another death and while I find there was nothing broadly wrong with it, there was some cinematic choices that drove me bonkers that I just wanna stress over.
So the rest will be under the cut, but for starters, this is about Sarah and Tess
Ok so Sarah isn’t really the meat of this rant, but I do want to talk about her death scene in the show because several things about it had bugged me. And please, I’m not really here to talk about the race swap. Overall I think it’s a little sus, moreso because the actress is the daughter of one of the executives of the show; so it suspiciously indicates nepotism. But the actress herself actually managed to do a pretty great job for Sarah’s death so really I couldn’t give a shit. ANYWAYS, the show’s death. What bugged me about it was the fact that there were CUTS while Joel is trying to comfort her and struggling to pick her up. The beauty of the cinematic choice in the game, where it turns into one continuous shot the moment Joel crawls over to Sarah, is that it inherently puts us in that moment with Joel, and by panning the camera over instead of cutting each time, it really shows how Sarah is right at death’s door, like you can HEAR the exact moment that she cries her last little whimper and just... goes quiet, right when the camera pans towards Tommy’s face. The problem with having scene cuts is that it drags the scene out in such an awkward way. Plus, Sarah’s still actively crying while Joel is screaming for Tommy to help him, and then the moment it cuts to Tommy the audio just cuts out very clumsily. As it cuts back to Joel Sarah’s just already dead, and additionally it makes no sense for Tommy to call to Joel to have him realize Sarah’s dead when she was still screaming and crying right as the camera cut. And then additionally, I’m not fond of the addition of Tommy saying Joel’s name, it feels almost... cold and detached. Like the tone of that line is “Joel she’s dead, it’s too late”. Whereas in the game, he’s moving towards Joel and Sarah and he’s in so much shock because he’s watching his niece dying in a crying, bloody mess.
So long story short, nothing wrong with the scene itself (though I gotta say I don’t think I’m a fan of Pedro Pascal’s line deliveries while he’s trying to stop Sarah’s bleeding. That’s less of a “one’s better than the other” and more of “that’s just my opinion that the emotion of the line delivery in the game was better”). Scene stayed true to the game.
But ohhh, OHHHH, you wanna know which death REALLY ruffled my feathers? Tess. Tess’ death was done so damn dirty in the show compared to the game (and side note, I hate the change to Tess’s character design. I loved the short hair held up by the headband, and I loved the short sleeves that showed her arms). I think by changing the entire death in the show, you take away from the character herself, and let me explain how.
In the game, they get to the Firefly meeting place, the Fireflies have been wiped out, and we find out Tess has been bitten. The military shows up, and Tess tells Joel that she’ll buy them some time and convinces both him and Ellie to leave. And the IMPORTANCE of her line “I WILL NOT turn into one of those things!”, which I’ll talk about. Joel and Ellie leave, Tess composes herself and gets ready to fight the soldiers. As you leave, you hear gunshots and hear Tess scream, and you find out she took out two soldiers; there was six guys and Tess took down two of them. This death is a perfect encapsulation of Tess’ character: resilient, stubborn, tough-as-nails, takes matters into her own hands. That is a death that treats the character with respect and actually plays into the character’s personality. It FITS. Tess is a woman whose life, her choices, it’s all in her hands and she will do what SHE wants to do.
In the TV show, they get to the Firefly meeting place, the Fireflies were killed by infected, and everything still plays out the same with Tess’ infection reveal (and I gotta say I’m not a fan of the dialogue choices nor am I a fan of the fact they tried to heavy-handedly push how Joel and Tess are a couple with the cuddling scene, whereas in the game the ambiguity of their relationship plays better into that final scene. I like the “Look, there’s enough here that you have to feel some sort of obligation to me” way more). Joel hears the infected, Tess starts tipping over some gasoline and grenades, and Joel and Ellie leave. Tess is panicking and frightened as the infected approach and flood in while trying to light the lighter, and then the BULLSHIT. The FUCKING KISS from the infected. And no I don’t wanna hear any ‘bUT it’S NoT A kISS, iT’S INfeCTiNg HEr’ excuses. It’s a fucking kiss disguised under the thin veneer of being some cool new infected lore, and it changes the entire death from a defiant last stance to a creepy, voyeuristic scene that’s going for a cringe-out factor. Like... Sure, you COULD explore that method of infection, it COULD be a neat behavior that we haven’t seen before.
But you don’t do that for Tess. She’s the wrong character to explore that with, and the show better actually try to stay consistent and show that again if people are gonna use the excuse of that scene being necessary. And the reason why it bugs me so much is because Tess, despite her short time in the story, is such a poignant character. She’s Joel’s partner, she’s OUR first partner. Taking that power out of her hands, putting her in this freaky powerless position where it’s like she’s being taken advantage of, does not compliment the character, especially when the death is a very easy to pull off trick that only solely relied on the lighter not working for cheap tension. If you wanted to give us a tense action scene, they could have actually shown us the Tess gunfight scene from her perspective, maybe give her one or two more kills than she had in the game. But this death was really insulting to the character.
TL;DR I’m incredibly autistic about all this dumb shit and it really just boils down to a difference of opinion.
#The Last of Us#TLoU#The Last of Us HBO#spoilers#I don't know if I even need to be putting spoilers for a nine year old game lmao but let's do it anyways#And honestly it's all just a matter of getting my knickers in a twist; I know there's a lot of people who are fine with it#And I'm not knocking them; that's their opinion#But I swear if it turns out that they don't EVER show that mouth-to-mouth behavior from them again in the show I WILL be pissed and call BS#And this isn't me saying the show is BAD; I think it's fine and I think at least (besides Tess) they're doing a faithful#and relatively thoughtful adaptation#I guess to me this doesn't seem like one of those franchises that needed a show adaptation#If you ask me we should have gotten a TV adaptation of Death Stranding#Just cast everyone from the game and boom; you have the perfect show#But anyways post edit in this section of the tags: why am I so ass-blasted over how Tess was handled?#1) I may be a little gay for her lmao; she was just one of my favorite characters#2) As someone who is so deeply invested in the character of; well; character this one really rubbed me the wrong way#And now that I type this I'm actually very nervous over how they're gonna handle Henry and Sam#You leave my boys alone you monsters; those guys practically wrote themselves all y'all need to do is follow the game#And let them die as they did; no M. Night Shamylan (however it's spelt) twist where Henry's infected instead and Sam shoots him and himself
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vi-v-iv · 2 years ago
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re: ep 5: i have some hesitations about how/why they chose to make Sam Deaf (which is a departure from the game) but it’s really not my area of expertise. i am curious abt how members of the Deaf community feel abt it.
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thewingedwolf · 4 months ago
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i don’t engage with iwtv fandom at all bc i know there’s a large contingent of people who didn’t like the way claudia was adapted and i enjoyed her and found her so well written that if i see someone implying she’s not deep simply bc she has no time for lestat (…which is book canon anyway) i will have an angry meltdown on par with my ouat days and that’s not healthy.
anyway claudia and claudeleine are better than everyone else in this series and yes i’m including all your other french whites and evil twinks thanks!!!!!!
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backofthebookshelf · 1 year ago
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I know I'm a week late but I do think people are misunderstanding the point of the Anthony Bourdain quote about Kissinger
The point was never "Anthony Bourdain has good politics and is an unproblematic fave," the point is that even someone with mainstream liberalish politics who goes to Cambodia for a food tour - a, let's be honest, very bougie type of trip to be part of your job - and has a basic understanding of history and a bare minimum of human decency can come away from that bougie food tour wanting to murder Henry Kissinger with their bare hands. The point is that Henry Kissinger fucked up this country so bad the only reason he wasn't lynched decades ago is because it's on the opposite side of the world and the people who were in proximity to him never really saw what it was. The point is that if we could see firsthand what our First World politics do to the Third World we would understand that monsters walk among us and it's a cultural failing that we let them die at home at 100 years old surrounded by their friends and family.
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bluetimeombre · 5 months ago
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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐝𝐲𝐩𝐨𝐨L 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐖𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐢e
Deadpool and Wolverine but your lady pool and an absolute SLUT for Wolverine.
[this is a complete self insert with just everything I was thinking about during the movie and since then I’ve watched it three times. It gets better every time. Snippets of the movie, will probably do a part two. SPOILERS!]
part two
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Warning/disclaimer: femreaderxwolverine, sexual content, sexual language, offensive language, just being a whore the man, cursing, repeat daddy issues, never proof-read.
After digging up Logan and expecting to find a shirtless and oiled-up Hugh Jackman, you were a little more than disappointed to find the bones and metal. 'Damn it! Shit! Fuck! They Les Mis'd him!'
Eventually, you settled down next to the remains, against the same log that had impaled him. 'That was weird,' you chuckled. 'I'm much calmer now. Look, I'm not a woman in stem but you seem incredibly dead to me. Oh, you sexy lump of bones and metal. I would have let you slide them into me any day.'
'But it's good to see you,' you pat his knee. 'I gotta be honest, I've always wanted to ride you, Logan. Oh, whoops, I meant with you. Ha! Who am I kidding, no I didn't. Just you and me, getting into it. And I mean into it. Every style. Doggy. Sixty-nine. On the kitchen counter to the bathroom. Till my back broke. Yea, we'd have been good together.' You ranted, fantasies flying across your mind too quick to focus on one.
With your red-gloved hand, you jerk the chin. 'G'day mate, there's nothing that'll bring me back to life faster than a big bag of Marvel cash. Ha- I hear you, Hugh. But no, no, no, no you had to go and get all noble and die for real. I could really use your help right now. And a massage. Your big manly hands just rubbing all over me-'
Just as you were about to go into further detail about what you want him to do to you, the sound of portals opening and heavy boots stomping closer alerted you.
Quickly, you pulled the skeleton down on top of you.
'There are two hundred and six bones in the body. Two hundred and seven if i'm watching Van Helsing.'
Que the fucking montage.
You have a mission. Find a Logan to take back with you. First up you end up in a bar, catching an axe as it was thrown at you. 'Logan! I'm gonna need you to come with me.'
The Logan sitting at the bar slowly turned to you. 'Who's asking? ' He slipped from the bar stool to reveal a 5'3 Logan.
You coo. 'Well, who's this little ankle biter. Did you stick the landing little guy? Yes you did, comic-accurate short king. Such a cute little Wolvie.'
The little guy started stalking toward you.
'Que the fucking montage.'
You found a Wolverine for the seventies, or eighties, something close enough to that, one hand missing. 'Oh yea, sexy, you have anchor being written all over you.'
You found patch Logan. 'Oh hello, Patch. Should've worn my white suit.'
You found another old man Logan, sitting solemnly on his front porch. 'Howdy! Oh, I see, you're the daddy issues one. Good to see god has answered my prayers. So soldier, do I need to be a bad girl so you put me over your knee, daddy?'
Another was tied to a cross with red bloody skulls acting as a floor.
One was dressed in a tight yellow and brown suit, walking through the woods. 'Hubba hubba. Classic! Now, you fought the Hulk in this suit, right?' as he snicked his claws out, the green of the beast reflected from behind you. 'I am Marvel Jesus you dull creature and I will not be-'
One, your favourite, was working on a bike in a tight white vest and dark pants. You drooled. 'That's the whole goddamn package right there. You know from behind you look a bit- holy Shit!' he turned, and everything about him was Wolverine. Except for the fact he was Henry fucking Cavil. 'The Cavalry has arrived. The prophecy has been fulfilled. Can I say, sir, sorry, daddy- on behalf of all of humanity, this just feels right! We will treat you so much better than those shit fucks down the street!'
He took the cigar from his mouth, stalking to you. You had never been so aroused in your life. 'You were just leaving'
Giggling and twirling your hair, you hold a hand out, ghosting over his chest. 'Can I just, one- one touch. Oh my god! You're like Superman or something.'
He punched you right into the Logan you needed. Thank you Cavil.
'You two gonna fuck or fight?' asked the bartender. 'Both if i'm lucky,' you said.'
'Oh look at those sexy little jammies, that only took twenty fucking years!'
The trash heap was the last place you wanted to end up, but when you woke to Logan looming over you, a snarl on his face, you sighed in relief.
'Well, hello sexiest man alive, 2008. Wanna give me a hand? Or head?'
He sniked his claws out.
'Kinky! That's new for Disney!'
He dug his claws into your ribs and dragged you up with them. 'Where the fuck are we?'
'I dunno, but it looks a bit mad maxxy to me. But that would be IP infringement right?'
'Fucking jokes,' Logan uttered. He threw you over his leg, your back breaking.
'Till my back breaks, Wolvie!' you yelled out, quickly rolling yourself back up and shaking it off. 'Look, I think we got off on the wrong foot. I'm a big fan. How about we strip off our suits, take a tumble in the sand, get to know one another you know. Personally, I'm more of a cowgirl fan but I'm willing to do whatever you want baby.'
'You're unbelievable,' he grumbled. It was still sexy. He turned his back to you.
'Oh, I see, is that what you did when your world went to shit!'
He paused, his head slowly turning to you. 'Say again, bub?'
'Oh, I am so horny right now.'
The two of you engaged in a fight, and not the sexy stradling fight that would happen later, but the guns firing, swords slashing kind of fight. that was only interrupted by a familiar voice.
The only other voice that could have you dropping your panties as quick as Wolverine. He was hooded, hidden, but you knew him from your sex dreams.
'Dear god almighty, it's him.'
'Who?' growled Logan.
'Don't be jealous baby, I have two holes for a reason. Don't worry gorgeous, you're gonna encounter some delicate language, a smidge of ass play but we've been prohibited from using cocaine, at least on page.'
He raised a hand. 'They're coming.'
'Who's they?'
The three of you watch cars and trucks drive through the waste, keeping you trapped. There were familiar faces, Pyro, Toad. And Sabertooth.
The mysterious figure jumped down and mastered the superhero landing that had you clapping your hands and jumping up and down.
'Oh my god! Oh my god!' you held onto Logan's shoulder as you jumped while he just glared at you.
'I've got this,' the man takes down his hood, showing the beautiful, hot, strong, handsome, hubba-hubba worthy, Chris Evans.
'Oh yes, you do sexiest man alive, 2022!' you cheer.
'Stay close,' Chris- or Steve- called back to you.
You stalk over to him. 'Aye aye, Captain.' you wrap your arms around his stomach, fingers trailing over his abs. He removes you and you groan, sulking. You walk back to Wolverine and jump onto the side of his hip.
Instinctively he holds your ass which makes you giddy before he realises his mistake and drops you.
'You're not gonna love what happens next,' shouted the captain.
Your jaw dropped from behind the mask. 'Holy shit, omg! No way, he's gonna say it! He's gonna say it!' you flick one of your swords that was still poking out of Wolverine's chest. 'Avengers-'
'Flame on!' Steve- no, Johnny- yelled and took to the skies in a ball of fire.
It was sort of stupid in hind sight as Pyro lifted a hand and extinguished him, causing him to fall from the skies and go crotch first into a billboard.
'No!' you screamed, rushing to him and rolling onto his back to get a look at him. 'No, no baby, stay with me. Let me take a look!' you tried to pull down his pants but Logan literally pulled you off him.
You were tied up with Wolverine on the front side of you and Johnny on the back. When you woke, you giggled. 'Woah, just like my dreams.'
Johnny woke to, lifting his head from your shoulder. 'How long was I out?'
You smirk under the mask, looking back to him. 'Not all of you was asleep, say Cap, is that a Glock in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
'Is that Chuck? Hey Chuck, over here! Hope it's you young, god, we got James Macovy in this?' you yelled as a wheelchair rolled out as you entered the thing that was apparently large Paul Rudd.
'Cassandra Nova. Charles's twin,' the villain introduced herself.
'Holy shit,' said Logan.
'How was anal birth?' you asked.
Cassandra smirked. 'You two are cute. I have a good feeling about this.'
'Right!' you cheered. 'Just wait till this ends, the smut is off the charts!'
She took the chain from around the two of you but you wrapped yourself around Logan's arm, he only grunted at you. He only pushed you off when you started to go off and off about what Johnny said about Cassandra. 'People think i'm a shit talker but this guy-' you chef's kiss. 'Next level!'
Cassandra, with a flick of her hand, shed the skin from him as he fell in a heap of bones and blood and skin,
You cried out, holding onto Logan for dear life. 'My favourite Chris!'
'You silly little bitch, you just got him fucking killed!' yelled Logan.
'Fine, spank me then! P.S. Do you know what he was doing to the budget!'
You were brought to Ultimatum with Cassadra, Oliath or the other British villain, but all you wanted was to save your world, bang Wolvy and go home.
'I didn't want it to come to this, either you help us or my boyfriend here is gonna perform the whole of Greatest Showman as a one-man show,' you warn.
'I'm not her boyfriend,' Logan grumbled.
Cassandra went on a trauma dump that had you groaning. 'Couldn't you just turn into accomplishment like the rest of us?'
But I'm not like the rest of you, except maybe the Wolverine, now we could be truly terrifying together.'
'Sorry lady, he's taken!'
'Not for long,' Cassandra smirked and as Logan attacked, she sent him in the ground and away from you. You only whined at his disappearance, a whine that turned into a groan when Cassandra's fingers entered you in the worst way possible. Through your head.
'What can I see here?' she asked. Cassandra gasped. 'Oh, you are a whore.'
Oh yes, she saw the million filthy things you wanted to do to Logan.
The two of you made it out and to the diner where Logan was intent on finding food and taking rubbing alcohol shots. When he sat across from you, chucking a tin of spam at you, you pulled of your mask.
Logan stilled, looking at you with finally something a little different than anger.
'What?' you asked.
'I thought you'd be ugly under there.'
'No- no, that's the Deadpool. I'm better, and a self-insert.'
The two of you took to walking through the rather nicer side of the waste. You had his hand in yours, swinging it happily like you were a couple before he threatened to chop your hand off.
'You said Logan was a hero, what happened?' he asked.
'You died. Technically you were chest fucked by a tree, but really you just ran out of batteries trying to save this girl- a kid really. Always wanted a man who's good with kids. The shit heels who grew her in a lab called her x-23, but she was just a kid. A smaller, cute and mean version of you. Yep, you saved her, very hero, very demure.'
The two of you were interrupted when a bark sounded over the hill and the BEST DOG EVER ran out to you, ears flapping in the wind, tongue out as it always was. The little boots. The collar. It was Dogpool.
You threw off your mask and picked her up, cuddling her close. 'She's coming with us.'
'No she's not!' he argued.
'Yes, she is!'
'No!'
You pulled out your puppy dog eyes and lifted the dog to your face and slowly the resolve in his face slipped.
'Sorry!' another man ran out, chasing after the dog.
'Fucking shit bag!' you cursed.
It was another dead pool, a good-looking one with long hair.
'What's Ryan Reynolds actually doing here, I thought I replaced him?' you said.
'In here everyone calls me Nicepool.'
'Can we have your dog?' you asked immediately.
He laughed. 'over my dead body!'
You nod, thinking about it but Logan holds out his arm before you can even move.
Whatever Nicepool was saying was you didn't care as you cooed and hugged the dog closer and Logan watched.
Fuck, he was paying attention to you.
'Why are you so nice?' you asked eventually.
'It costs nothing to be kind,' he said.
'Shutting the fuck up is also free,' said Logan.
You bite your lip in his direction. 'God I am so attracted to you right now. This is Logan, he's usually shirtless but he's let himself go since the divorce.'
Finally, the Nicepool took you to his ride to get you and Logan and the dog to the borderlands.
It was a honda fucking odyssey.
Logan wasn't willing to listen to your complaints. 'Get in the fucking car.'
'Make me, Daddy,' you said.
He took one step closer to you and you backed away with the dog. 'No, we're running away!'
Logan forced her from your arms and handed him back to the Nicepool.
'The corn was to dense girl!' you called after her, pouting.
Logan shoves you into the passenger seat while he takes the wheel.
You pull of your mask, hair falling around you like you were in an advert. 'So, what shall we do to pass the time...'
Honda Odyssey coming soon, that my friends, is called edging.
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sprixgenderstash · 2 years ago
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me, getting into tulpamancy, planning to make one tulpa and get to know him for about a year before I even considered having more people in my head:
my childhood "imaginary friend": hey.
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fideidefenswhore · 1 year ago
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Just thought I would address this again because unfortunately, she repeats this claim in her latest book:
"Anne's own mother had lost several babies in infancy and her sister Mary had borne a son with disabilities who Anne would not suffer to be at court."
Anne Boleyn & Elizabeth I (2023), Tracy Borman
There is a primary source (not that she cites one...in either...) which alludes to AB 'not suffering [Henry Carey] to be at court' (it's not terribly definitive, however...the actual quote seems speculative, it's hearsay of another speculating that she "might not" suffer him at court, actually), but it certainly doesn't mention or imply any disability, much less disability being the reason he was not wanted at court:
"Finally, I confess the four bills by Mr. Feerne, Mr. Leeke, Mr. Skydmore, and Sir Thos. Mody to be true, and that by such seditious ways I have maliciously slandered the King and Queen and their Council; for which I ask forgiveness of God, king Henry VIII., and queen Anne, and shall continue sorrowful during my life, which stands only in the King's will. "Moreover, Mr. Skydmore dyd show to me yongge Master Care, saying that he was our suffren Lord the Kynge's son by our suffren Lady the Qwyen's syster, whom the Qwyen's grace myght not suffer to be yn the Cowrte."" [John Hale, Vicar of Isleworth, to the Council.] April 1535.
It's also not clear whether it was Mary Stafford or Henry Carey that Hale was referring to when he claimed Skidmore said AB "might not suffer [them] to be in the court". Natalie Grueninger posits that it was the former:
"While most of the rumours circulating were unfounded [...] Hale was right about one thing-- in 1535, Mary Boleyn was not at court with her family." The Final Year of Anne Boleyn, Natalie Grueninger
There's a thread about this claim on TudorQ&A also:
A commenter over at the Anne Boleyn Files blog asked the same question, only referencing Carolly Erickson's Mistress Anne rather than Borman's book. I checked it out and it looks like Borman utilized Erickson's book on this particular subject nearly verbatim, although she did not cite it [...] Mary Carey and her husband did apparently have the wardship of an "idiot" heir; I assume when William Carey died this reverted to the Crown. At around the same time, however, Mary's son Henry became a ward of his aunt, Anne Boleyn. Perhaps Erickson or her researchers may have confused the two separate wardships. It would be interesting to see kb's review of Borman's book; it's clearly directed at a popular audience, and the "mentally challenged" son comment does not inspire confidence, but it has interesting things to say about Elizabeth's familia throughout her life and I would like to see a qualified scholar assess the historical veracity of the work.
So, I was not able to find any clear evidence of Mary having wardship of a disabled person. Weir's biography of Mary Boleyn mentions that "at some point in her widowhood, Mary [...] was granted wardship of one William Bailey", but I was not able to verify this anywhere. Thomas Boleyn was granted wardship of William Strongman in 1529, but again, have found nothing that suggests the ward had any disability. The only wardship of William Carey's I was able to find was that of Thomas Sharpe of Canterbury, who was described as an "idiot", maybe(?) this did revert to Mary, at some point, but no academic biographies of the Boleyns mention this.
Regardless, whether Borman did get her wires crossed on whether or not she was referring to a wardship (certainly not someone Mary had 'borne', if so), this seems egregious, not least because there was a member of the Boleyn family who was disabled and was cared for:
"In September [1535], Thomas [Boleyn] again left court and spent time in Hever, taking care of his mother who was living out her final years [...]
Nicholas Harris Nicolas, Testamenta Vetusta, Vol. II, 465. It was reported that, from 1519 onwards, Margaret [Butler] was unable to take care of herself or her affairs, and so Thomas moved his mother down to Hever, where he could care for her for the rest of her life.
It would seem that William [Stafford] had also petitioned Henry [VIII] for control of Thomas’ lands in Essex but Thomas had made it clear they were to go to his mother and, upon her death, his granddaughter, Elizabeth. This document suggests a far more proactive Mary [Stafford], as they had already taken possession of several properties before this document had been drawn up. Kent Archives." Among the Wolves of Court: The Untold Story of Thomas and George Boleyn, Lauren Mackay
So Anne Boleyn didn't want her nephew Henry Carey at court cause he was supposedly disabled? Just like Gregory, Borman turned a good thing Anne did for her sister into a nasty thing? What evidence does she shows for Henry being disabled, or Anne not wanting him around? And for goodness' sake, isn't it strange that some historians and fiction writers seem to hate Anne (like Borman or Weir) but can't help to end up writing about her, because, let's face it, ANNE BOLEYN SELLS! They must feel so bad for always having to return return to this woman they are so eager to portray as the Worst Human Being Ever.
Literally none, and I'm not even joking. There's no citation, no additional information or details, she doesn't even name this nephew so I don't even know if it's Henry Carey to whom she's referring, or one of the Stafford children (whose existence/survival remains disputed), or even the later Elizabethan priest, George Boleyn, dean of Lichfield, who has been erroneously labeled as the son of Viscount Rochford, George Boleyn(illegitimate at times, by marriage other times), Julia Fox has argued for the likelihood he was some distant Boleyn cousin, and I'm inclined to agree. The claim is dropped into a paragraph about the perils of childbirth to contextualize Anne's own potential fears as if from the sky:
Worse still, Anne's closest female relations had suffered an unfortunate history in this respect. Her mother had lost several babies in infancy and her sister, Mary, had borne a son with mental disabilities whom Anne would not suffer to be at court. But in her favour was the fact that her health was generally considered good, and as one observer remarked, she seemed 'likely enough to bear children.' --Elizabeth's Women, Tracy Borman
So...yeah, if who she meant here was Henry Carey, I have no idea what she's talking about, A, and B, this is the sole* "factoid" she chose to mention about their relationship? Not that she had wardship of him, not that she arranged for him to receive his education from the scholar she patronized, Nicholas Bourbon, alongside Henry Norris (the younger), Henry Dudley, and the son of Nicholas Harvey, her 'strong partisan' and the husband of her great friend, Bridget Wingfield...all signs which point to Carey being in Anne's favour. I have no idea if he was ever at court, but if there's no record of him at court while Anne was queen, does it not seem more plausible to attribute this to A) how brief that time was and/or B) that his mother was banished from court due to the marriage she had made without royal permission?
I just don't...know, with Borman, really? It'd be interesting to have the unedited interview footage from BSR because I was surprised how overall sympathetic she was towards the subject, honestly. And I can't speak to the new book, I haven't read it, but the PR push for it has centered around praise of AB as an individual, as to her character.
For Weir, I mean, she received the deal to do that fictionalized serial on the six Queens of Henry VIII, of course AB had to be included. If I'm being perfectly honest, I feel like everything she has done since Lady in the Tower has had this weird self-animus pushing behind it, guilt over having further popularized a figure she hates so implacably. Her original view ("a total bitch...she alienated so many people that that must be true") has been evident in all her subsequent works and interviews; from claiming in one in 2017 that there exists a letter extant in AB's own handwriting where she orders Lady Shelton to beat her stepdaughter (there isn't), to depicting AB in her latest novel as having been so ugly and "painfully thin" naked that it was an instant boner-killer for her poorest little meow-meow.
*I believe other sections of this book are dedicated to the Careys so hopefully she expands later...I can't remember if she does. So far in my current read she has not mentioned the wardship and it was in 1528 and the book is now in 1533, so....
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martian-astro10 · 3 months ago
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Astrology observations- Part 2 (use whole signs)
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🪷 Capricorn moons are the most emotional people that I've ever come across (and I know a lot of them). They feel everything so deeply. A lot of my friends who are Capricorn moons write poems, and reading them makes me want to give them the biggest hug ever. Humor is their defence mechanism.
🐷 people who have Mercury as their 7th lord are such big sapiosexuals, my god. I can't stress this enough. I've noticed that a lot of times, these people themselves also have a very high or above average IQ.
🪷 Mercury square moon people.... they're so intelligent but can't say "I love you" if their life depended on it. My mom has this and words of affirmation is not her strong suit. she has never told me or my sister that she loves us or is proud of us, we KNOW that she loves us, her actions prove that, but she won't say "I love you" like.....🙄
🐷 Saturn aspecting ascendant people are so intimidating. They just look so scary, but most of the people I know with this, are actually pretty chill once you get to know them, the biggest extroverts and party animals that you'll ever come across, but it depends on the rest of your chart as well.
🪷 Mars as the 7th ruler (and it being in the 5th house) people LOVE gym bods, my sister and a friend of mine have this, and they absolutely loved that Henry Cavill video where he's in the gym, preparing for Superman, and his muscles are BULGING in that, I mean, I love Henry Cavill but those HUGE muscles make me so uncomfortable, like stay away from me please 😭
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🐷 Mars square Saturn people are SO HORNY, but they hide it very well. You know those girls, who wear big round glasses and have this face 🥺, but then you see what they read on Wattpad and it's like "he pushed his manhood of 45 inches inside me and started moving" and you're just like WHOA, YOOO, WAIT A MINUTE
🪷 Pluto in 7th really is a bad placement for love and partnerships. These people get cheated on, a lot. If you have this, then do not start a business with other people, there's a high chance that they'll take your money and run away.
🐷 sun opposite moon people look so emotionally......constipated. I know so many people with this and they do NOT know how to communicate. I've never seen them cry. They are also very awkward when it comes to expressing their feelings.
🪷For a lot of people with Moon square ascendant, their mother was the one who made them feel bad about their appearance, like constantly making rude remarks about their body/ face. I've noticed that when these people grow up, they'll be like, for ex, you tell them that a dress doesn't look good and they'll immediately accuse you of calling them ugly, when it's the dress that's ugly, not them, which is basically a trauma response.
🐷 Chiron aspecting midheaven is such a stage fright placement, me and a lot of people I know have this. When I was young, I used to struggle a lot with this, but then I would stand in front of the mirror and practice saying stuff, it can be anything, pretend to be a celebrity who is giving an interview, a politician who is lying, try making weird faces in front of the mirror, it really helps. You can overcome this issue, it doesn't have to be there all your life. I did it, and now I'm able to present in front of thousands of people, do NOT let this hold you back. YOU CAN DO IT 💪🏻
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