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thetriumphantpanda · 1 year ago

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Ghost of You | J. Miller (Chapter One)

Series Summary / Grief is a strange thing. In the beginning it had been all-consuming. There wasn’t a moment of the day where you didn’t cry, didn’t ask yourself why it couldn’t have been you instead. And no-one ever explains the guilt you feel when it isn’t anymore. When it’s just a dull ache and you can finally breathe again, when you can start letting people get close to you again. People like Joel Miller.

Pairing / Joel Miller x Female Reader

Word Count / 3.4K

Warnings / soft!Joel, reader is a widow, in depth discussions and descriptions of grief and depression, will have eventual smut, SLOW BURN.

Authors Note / I AM SO PROUD OF THIS LITTLE STORY YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I've wanted to write soft!Joel for so long so I hope you love it as much as I do! If you do enjoy it, reblogs, asks and likes are my drug so I'd love to know what you think! Also considering following for more!

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Grief is a strange thing. In the beginning it had been all-consuming. There wasn’t a moment of the day where you didn’t cry, didn’t ask yourself why it couldn’t have been you instead. There were days that you couldn’t bring yourself to throw back the sheets of your bed and get up. For the first month, you think you managed to shower three times. No point if no-one was going to see you. You hadn’t left your house since the day of the funeral, life had become a monotonous circle of waking up, soaking your pillow with tears until you made yourself sick, throwing on the same clothes as before and then doing the same thing but led on the couch.

People had reassured you it would get easier. That each day it would subside, little by little, and you cursed them for being right. The longer you sat with your misery, the easier it became. One morning, a few months ago, you remember waking up, only this time you didn’t roll over and place your hand on the empty side of the bed and cry when you realized your husband wasn’t there anymore. You got up and showered, taking 15 minutes to brush the matted mess of your hair, and you dressed in new clothes.

You managed to walk to the market hall and purchase food with your ration cards and Maria had almost fallen over when she saw you in the aisle. That was the worst thing though. You’d been absent from life in Jackson for almost six months, and whenever you left your house people looked at you. Some still had those sympathetic eyes, telling you they were sorry for your loss, but there were the others who judged you. How pathetic you were for falling into despair like you had.

It wasn’t as if he’d met a violent end, he was quite lucky, actually. In this world death came at the hands of evil, whether it was being taken and tortured by raiders, or torn limb from limb by infected. Your husband had died peacefully, drifting off in his sleep in the hospital. The doctors had said it was cancer, which seemed painfully unkind to him. He’d never smoked in his life and was probably the healthiest person you’d ever known, but when was life ever fair?

You could tell they whispered once you’d passed. How dare she be so upset when my husband was killed on patrol? How lucky you were to have been able to say goodbye and hold his hand as he passed, when someone else turned into one of those things all alone. So now it wasn’t grief that kept you behind closed doors, but shame. Shame at knowing you thought they were right, that not being able to pull yourself together was selfish. Selfish to all the people who had managed to carry on with their lives after losing someone, selfish to the community for not being able to pull your weight. You were stuck and you had no idea what to do about it.

The only way you could face leaving your home these days was on Maria’s comforting arm. She’d been your friend for years, she and Tommy seemingly the only people who understood you. Didn’t force you to do anything, let you come to your own decisions when you felt ready. No-one would dare look at you or speak in hushed tones whilst she was around.

The sun was soaking Jackson now, it was summer, and you were grateful for the warmth of the sun on your skin, everything felt better with the sun on your back. With summer came one of your favourites of life’s simple pleasures. Strawberries. In the market you picked up as many as you could purchase after buying your essentials. Maria walked you home, helped you put away everything and then left with a comforting hug.

You carefully placed a large handful of the fruit in a bowl, rinsing it under running water. You were about to sit down on your couch to eat them, but the sun was filtering invitingly through your front windows. You stripped off your jacket, leaving you in your simple tank top and jeans before opening your front door to sit on the bench on your porch. You had sunglasses resting on your face, Tommy had found them on a patrol trip a few months ago and you were grateful for the safety you felt from them. People couldn’t walk past and meet your eye.

You were finishing your third strawberry when Tommy walked past, a man you didn’t know on his left shoulder. He took a look to your house and smiled on seeing you sat in a patch of sunlight, he waved, which you return, then he turns to the mysterious man on his left to say something before they start walking over.

“It’s good to see you out, honey,” He smiled, walking to lean over the railing of your porch, “What’cha got there?” He asked, motioning his head to your bowl of strawberries.

“You want one?” You asked, picking the bowl up and walking over to meet him, he gladly takes the biggest fruit in the bowl, pinching the spidery leaves off before putting the whole thing in his mouth, “How about you?” You asked, extending the bowl to Tommy’s mysterious companion.

He takes a strawberry as well, doing as Tommy did, but he takes smaller bites of the fruit, like he’s savoring it, “This here’s my brother Joel,” Tommy speaks, Joel extends his hand and you take it, shaking it softly in greeting, “He arrived a few weeks back, he’s been getting settled with his daught… with Ellie, but I thought it was high time he started pulling his weight.”

He had a smirk on his face as he said it and you could see the beginnings of a smile on Joel’s face too, “This one’s a real taskmaster,” You say to Joel, a smirk across your lips, “You’ll be wishing we had a retirement age soon enough.”

“Can’t think where he gets it from,” Joel chuckles, “You were takin’ notes all the time we worked together before weren’t you?”

Tommy smiles and nods, “Learnt from the best,” There’s another round of chuckles from the men, “Listen, we should get a move on, but I mean it, it’s nice to see you out like this.”

“Thanks Tommy,” You offer a small smiled, “Here, take a strawberry for the road.”

Both men take another fruit gladly before the way and make their way back down the street, leaving you on your own once more. You slide the sunglasses back onto your eyes and take your place in the path of sunlight on the bench. You sit there for a while, eating your strawberries, thinking about all the times you and your husband had done the same, holding hands as the sunset, cuddling up into his side when the temperature dropped. You realized suddenly that you weren’t sad. That the tears that usually threatened to fall were nowhere to be seen. Instead, there was just a feeling of happiness, grateful that you’d experienced love in a world where it had seemed impossible. Sure, you wished he would reach over and take your hand in his like he used to, squeeze it and place a soft kiss to your palm, but you were no longer ruled by the grief that had consumed you all those months ago.

“She seemed nice.” Joel muses as he walks with Tommy.

“She’s lovely,” He replies simply, “Just had a pretty rough time of it recently.”

Joel hums in acknowledgement as his boots hit the ground in time with Tommy’s, “When you said it was good to see her out, what did you mean?”

Tommy sighs at his question, but not out of frustration like he usually did when Joel asked him questions, more out of sympathy, “Her husband died about a year ago,” He begins to explain, “Nothin’ violent or anythin’ like that, the doctors reckoned it was cancer, but she took it real hard, I don’t think she got out of bed for the first week, and then after his funeral she just kinda withdrew, she’s been all alone in that house for months, refuses to leave unless it’s with Maria because people talk.”

“People talk about her?” Joel is shocked, in a world where loss in inevitable, what makes someone else’s grief less worthy than others?

“We’re safe here,” Tommy says, steering him into a building at the end of the street, “But that doesn’t mean people don’t die when they’re out there,” He references his patrol men, he’d lost a few which he would always hold heavy in his heart, “Maria told me once that when she took her to the market a few months ago, some busybody wives were talkin’ about how unfair it was she got to say goodbye, that he’d been sedated and it was easy for him.”

Joel stops in his tracks, letting Tommy walk in front of him. They’re in the gun store, not for anything in particular, just so Joel knows where everything is so he can stop following his brother round like a lost puppy. His mind inevitably wanders to his own grief in this moment. The pain of losing his own daughter, the all-consuming feeling of ‘what is the point in life anymore?’ without her. The scar on the right side of his face and the hearing loss in the same ear when he’d tried to end it all. He hadn’t been strong, not really. If he hadn’t of flinched that would have been it, the easy way out, as some would have said. He’d struggled for a long time with his survival but that didn’t mean his was worth more than your grief, or yours more than his. It wasn’t that simple.

“I spoke to them, told ‘em if I heard ‘em gossiping again then we’d have no issues moving them on their way, but I suppose people are always going to talk, they just do it where we can’t hear them.”

“I’m guessin’ she knows?”

“Of course she knows, Joel, that’s why she shuts herself away, easier that way I guess.”

“Doesn’t make it fair though, feelin’ like you can’t leave your house because people are gonna judge the way your husband died.”

“She’s been better recently,” Tommy speaks, leaning against the table behind him, “Still won’t really go anywhere without Maria, but seein’ her today, it was nice.” Joel nods his way through Tommy explaining the signing out system for guns, follows him around to the stables where he shakes the hand of the young girl in charge of caring for them and then settles himself next to his brother at the bar for a drink. All the while, he can’t stop his mind drifting back to you and your loneliness, your despair at your loss, or the rotten porch step he’d noticed at the front of your house that might just give him the reason to get a little closer to you.

A few mornings later, there is a soft knock at your door. Your face contorts in confusion, Maria wasn’t supposed to come until tomorrow. Leaving the coffee pot to its filtering, you walk slowly to the door, opening it to find Joel stood on your porch, toolbox in hand and planks of wood resting against the railing.

“Good mornin’,” He croons, “Not interrupin’ anythin’ am I?”

You shake your head, “Can I help you?” You asked, wincing slightly at the defensive tone of your voice.

“Well, I hope you don’t mind, but when I passed with Tommy the other day, I noticed your porch step was rotting,” He points to the old timbers behind him, “I’m surprised you’ve not fallen through it already, so do you mind if I fix them?”

Your exterior softens and a small smile pulls at your lips, “Of course,” You say, “I’m just making some coffee, do you want some?”

“If you don’t mind sharin’, then I’d love some.”

You leave him on the porch to get started. Your mug is already set next to the coffee pot, you open the cupboard and instinctively reach for the only other mug you ever needed. It had meant nothing to you when you moved in. It was white and had a pattern of sausage dogs printed on it, but it had always been his. You hold it in your hands when you realise what you’ve done. His face flashes behind your eyes. He’s standing in front of you, his hair tousled from sleep, his voice still low and raspy. He thanks you as he takes hold of his mug, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You set it back in the cupboard like it had burned your palms, reaching instead of the plain black mug at the back of the cupboard.

You rest your palms on the counter, closing your eyes to take deep breaths, feeling the weight of your body through to the ground. Once you don’t feel the wave of sadness flowing through you any longer, your quickly pour the coffee into the mugs, taking them out to the porch where Joel is currently working to take the rotten boards up, not that it’s taking much work, a little force from his hands and the wood in crumbling.

“Here you go,” You say softly, setting the mug down next to his toolbox, “I hope you don’t mind it black, I spent all my rations on strawberries this week, so no milk.”

“Just how I like it,” He says, looking up at you, “Thank you.”

You take a seat on the bench out front, it’s been a long time since you had the company of someone that wasn’t Maria or Tommy and it was nice to watch him work whilst you sat in the sun.

“Thank you, by the way, I didn’t realise it had gotten so bad,” You remark, and before you can think about what you’re saying, you add, “My husband always used to handle this stuff.”

You press your fingers to your lips as Joel’s movement still slightly, he knows what you’ve said, but he continues working, “It’s alright, this is what I used to do before all of this, so I’ve got an eye for rotting wood.”

“You were a builder?” You asked, desperate to steer the conversation away from your loss.

“I was, Tommy and I were contractors, worked on a bunch of different sites together, kinda annoying the world ended, we’d just booked a really big job, was gonna pay the bills and then some for once, my daughter had already spent the money on a trip to Disney.”

“Ellie?” You enquire, remembering the name Tommy had given.

He shakes his head as he sits back on his knees, coffee mug in hand, “No, she’s not mine by blood, she came along a lot later, I lost my daughter on outbreak day.”

“Oh,” You say simply, “I’m sorry Joel.”

“It’s alright,” He shrugs, taking a mouthful of coffee, “I struggled, for a long time, didn’t see how it was fair, but it’s been easier recently, all because of Ellie, and this.” He motions around to the town.

You’re silent for a while, your gaze flits between Joel working and the dregs of liquid in your cup. You understand in a way. The loss is different, but it’s loss all the same.

“What was his name?” Joel asks quietly as he’s rooting through his toolbox for some nails, “Your husband.”

“Mark,” You speak quietly, realizing quickly it was probably too quiet for him to hear, “His name was Mark.”

“Were you together long?”

“Eighteen years,” You answer, “He was my neighbour in the first QZ I was in, I’d lost my parents a few years before the outbreak so I was on my own, he moved in a year later and would always wake me up every morning when he stomped about to go to work,” You were smiling, recounting how you’d met, “One morning I’d had enough, I went right over there, pounded on the door and gave him what for. Said I was tired of waking up to the sound of his work boots every morning, and I guess the rest is history.”

Joel smiles as he reaches for his hammer, nailing in the new boards, “Love at first sight?” He asked, worried at first that it’s too personal a question.

“Something like that,” You offer in reply, “I guess it just kinda happened really, like most things do.”

There’s silence between you again as Joel hammers in the last of the nails. He stands up, pressing his full weight on the step, “All done,” He declares, shutting away his toolbox, “Don’t have to worry about you fallin’ through it now.”

You stand up to admire his handiwork, you must admit he was good at what he did. Efficient but thorough, the step had never looked so good, even when you’d first moved in, “Thank you Joel,” You place a hand on his arm and give it a gentle squeeze, “I really appreciate it.”

“No problem,” He bends to pick up his coffee mug and hands it over to you, “Nothin’ else need sorting?”

“I mean, nothing that risks death or serious injury,” You jest, “But there is something you might be able to help with.”

You gesture for him to follow you through the house, setting the dirty mugs in the sink as you pass through. You open the back door and motion for him to join you. The garden is a mess, there’s no beating around the bush here. The grass is out of control, but that’s because you haven’t been able to go and get your gas ration for the lawnmower. The decking out back is fine, Mark’s handiwork in the year before he died, but you point to the unfinished table and chairs in the corner, or rather the pile of wood that never got to become the table and chairs.

“Mark was going to build some table and chairs, you know, so we could have guests over or sit out here in the evenings, but he got sick before he could really start,” There’s a lump in your throat now and you’re willing yourself not to cry, not now, in front of a man you barely know, but nothing you do can quell the feeling inside of you and a few tears fall down your cheek, “God, I’m so sorry,” You sniffed, “I’ve done so well not to do this today.”

“Hey, it’s alright.” Joel soothes, he pressed a firm hand to your shoulder for comfort but keeps his distance, which you are grateful for.

He gives you a moment to compose yourself, watching closely as you rub the tears from your eyes and take a deep breath, “It would just be nice to have somewhere to sit where people aren’t going to watch me.”

Joel’s heart almost breaks at your words. He doesn’t know you, not in the slightest, but the thought that you felt like you had to hide away, in your own community, the place that was meant to make you feel some semblance of normal, was preposterous to him.

“I’ll build you something, don’t worry,” He reassures, “Tommy has me on patrol for the next few days, but as soon as I can, I promise I’ll build you the best damn table and chairs you’ve ever seen.”

You laugh now, through the remnants of your tears, “Thank you.” Is all you can manage to say.

He’s turning around then, you go to follow him, but he stops in his tracks, eyes admiring the trellis against the back wall of your home, full in bloom of sweet peas, “These are beautiful.” He comments.

“They’re sweet peas,” You inform him, “Maria found the seeds for me, said something about it being good for me to have something to put my energy into,” You shrug, “I guess she was right.”

You reach out and pluck one of the deep purple blooms, “These are my favourites,” You say, turning the bloom over in your fingers before you hand it to him, he looks confused, “Sweet peas are meant to symbolize kindness and friendship,” You explain, “Also fond goodbyes, but I think kindness is more appropriate here.”

He takes the bloom and tucks the stem into the breast pocket, the petals of the flower peeking out where you can both see it, “Well then, thank you,” He nods, “I’ll see you soon, sweet pea.”

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sixhours · 5 months ago

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i know you by heart - chapter 1

Series Chapter Index | Read on AO3 | Complete

Rating: Explicit, 18+, here be smut Series tags: The Last of Us, The Last of Us (HBO), Prospect, Joel Miller x Ezra, Joel & Ellie, Ezra & Cee, Joel is bad at feelings and relationships, Ellie is a little shit (affectionate), mostly follows canon after season 1, SMUT, gay sex, bisexual!Joel, period-typical homophobia, light angst, romance, age gap (~10ish years), I've probably forgotten some so please let me know <3

“Tell me again how it happened.”

It’s a standoff in the kitchen. Ellie’s face, flushed and furious, twists in a pout. Joel grips the back of a dining chair with one tight fist.

One week. It’s been one fucking week since school started, and Ellie has already come home with the pink slip of all pink slips.

“She tried to take my pen. Twice.”

“And?”

“So I…I took my knife out…”

“Uh-huh.”

“...and I stabbed it into her desk…”

Joel winces.

“...and I told her if she tried that shit again I’d do the same to her fucking finger.”

“Ellie–”

“It’s not my fucking fault no one taught her to keep her hands to herself!”

“I know, and she–she shouldn’t have done that, Ellie, but you can’t just–”

“It’s not like I actually stabbed someone, Joel!”

“Doesn’t fuckin’ matter, kid. You can’t–you can’t do that shit here. This ain’t FEDRA. There’s no hole. Keep it up and they’re liable to put us outside the damn wall.”

“Tommy wouldn’t–“

“He doesn’t run this place. An’ Maria’s already on my ass about…everythin’.”

“Maybe we should leave, then,” she huffs.

“You don’t mean that.”

“We made out okay. We could do it again.”

“Ellie,” his voice softens. He draws his palms down his face. The start of a headache pulses behind his eyes. “Look, I know it’s…different. But we’re here now. We gotta make do.”

Four months in Jackson. Four months since he shot his way out of a hospital in Salt Lake City and carried the unconscious girl to safety. Four months since she asked for the truth and he told her the whopper of all lies instead.

When he thinks about it that way, things are going about as well as he has any right to expect.

He’d hoped going to school would give her some structure, that she’d make a few friends, but so far, every morning has been a trudge, every night a standoff. When she’s not clinging to his side like a lost lamb or waking from nightmares to crawl into his bed, she’s hurling sharp words and slamming doors and stomping around.

Months on the road together, but he’s never seen her so goddamn bratty.

He’s taking a lot of deep breaths. He’s counting to ten. He’s trying not to see the judgmental frowns from his sister-in-law when Ellie storms out of a family gathering or calls him an asshole at the caf in front of the whole fuckin’ town.

She’s never had the space to act out, he reminds himself. She’s never been fed enough, warm enough, safe enough, loved enough, and he gets the brunt of her anger. The way Sarah would come home after a long day at school and turn into a grouchy wildebeest for him after being an angel for her teachers.

It’s normal, he tells himself on the worst nights. Ellie’s making up for fourteen years of repression.

But he’s tired and she’s strumming his last nerve like it’s a fuckin’ guitar.

She’s holding out another note, this one hand-written and co-signed by members of the council. He notes Maria’s signature at the top with some disdain.

“Counseling,” Joel sighs, skimming it. “Mandated. Twelve weeks.”

“You’re not really gonna make me go, are you? C’mon, man, it’s a death sentence!”

“Hardly. You’re lucky they didn’t suspend you.”

“I wish they had. Then I wouldn’t have to go to that stupid fucking school.”

“Ellie–”

“I hate it here,” she spits out. Her lower lip trembles and he has to look away, eking out a tight breath.

“Yeah, kid. I know. But you gotta give it a chance.”

“I did, and it sucks.”

“You’re not giv–”

“Going to my room,” she huffs, already moving for the stairs.

“You need to eat first,” he says, gritting his teeth when she rolls her eyes. “And you’re grounded.”

Those words have never come out of his mouth. He doesn’t even know what being grounded looks like in this day and age.

“What?! Joel–”

“You heard me,” he says, making it up as he goes. “Two weeks. You’re back here every night after your assignments. No wanderin’ around with your friends.”

“Lucky for me I don’t have any fucking friends.”

“That ain’t–“

“This is bullshit,” she seethes, then turns on her heel and stomps up the stairs.

“Damnit, Ellie, you need to eat–”

“I’m not hungry!”

The door at the top of the stairs slams shut, ending the conversation and leaving Joel to collapse into a chair with his face in his hands.

“Yeah,” he mutters to himself. “Yeah, this is bullshit.”

One week later she’s sulking over breakfast at the house.

“The guy wants to talk to you,” she says through a mouthful of eggs.

“‘The guy’? And close your mouth when you chew.”

Ellie wrinkles her nose, opening her mouth wide to show him her half-chewed breakfast, a move that’s painfully reminiscent of a different time, a different kid.

“I told you at dinner. The counselor guy.”

He frowns. “It’s a guy?”

She rolls her eyes. “And women can even be doctors! Dude, you are so old .”

“S’not what I meant, smartass,” he mutters. “I just…I know you’ve had some, uh…issues with…guys.”

Since Silver Lake , he doesn’t say.

“Only the creepy ones,” she says, stabbing a piece of potato. “Ezra’s not creepy. He’s, like, cool. He has a huge record collection.”

“Uh-huh. An’ he needs to see me why?”

“I don’t fucking know, dude. Unlike you, I didn’t give him the third degree.”

He bites his tongue. “Alright. When?”

“Before school. Today.”

Joel looks at the clock, then back at Ellie. 7:50 .

“So we need to go…right now,” he mutters, draining his coffee and gathering his dishes to put them in the sink. “Thanks for the notice.”

“I told you last night! Not my fault you’re deaf.”

Admittedly, she’d talked a lot at dinner last night. Mostly about how some kid named Dina was a jerk who deserved to have her finger taken off for being a ‘fucking klepto’ with her pen. But he’d been so tired and the headache behind his eyes won’t give him a rest.

“Alright, let’s go,” he sighs. “Don’t forget your bag.”

They step out into the streets of Jackson on a mild September morning. It’s the rush hour–if a town of a few hundred can be said to have a rush hour–with shift changes on the wall and everyone off to their assigned duties. They pass familiar faces; neighbors Joel still doesn’t have names for, kids he recognizes from Ellie’s school who give them a wide berth. Joel hunches inward, following the maroon cast of her sweatshirt through clusters of Jackson residents.

“You don’t have a brother, do you?” she says out of the blue.

“You know I do,” he frowns.

“No duh. But you don’t have another brother, right?”

“Not that I’m aware of, kid.”

“Like, what if your dad had a secret family–”

“Christ, where do you come up with this stuff?”

“C’mon, it can happen! I just–I wondered–”

“What the heck are you gettin' at, kid? Spit it out.”

“It’s nothin’,” she says, but there’s a weird little smile on her face. “You’ll see.”

She leads him to the little house at the other end of town and knocks on the blue door. Ellie keeps looking up at him with the same funny smirk.

A dark-eyed man answers, peering through the screen. Dark, fitted T-shirt, slim black jeans. Younger than Joel by at least ten years, probably more, with a wide smile and messy black-brown curls with an odd streak of white at his temple.

He looks like a fuckin’ punk.

“Hi, Ezra,” Ellie says breezily. “This is Joel.”

“Hello, young prodigy,” he smiles, drawling in a southern accent that Joel can’t quite place. “Come in, come in both of you…join me in my humble abode.”

He leads them inside and to the right, to a little den just off the entry. It’s a snug office with a couch and chair, a coffee table in the center, and bookshelves lining the walls on either side. A record player sits on a podium in one corner.

Joel puts out his hand, realizing too late the other man isn’t able to reciprocate, lacking an arm with which to do so. Ellie watches with a smug smirk, lips twitching a little as Joel drops his right hand and fumbles through a handshake with his left. He shoots her a glare.

Couldn’t have mentioned that?

She shrugs, feigning a wide-eyed innocence, then looks between the two men with a kind of manic glee, as if waiting for something.

“...what?” Joel finally asks.

“You don’t see it?” She gestures to the other man.

“I don’t–”

“Jeez, I know you’re deaf but I didn’t think you were blind, too,” she groans. “He looks like you! If you weren’t, like, ancient.”

Joel’s face flushes as Ezra tries to hide a smile behind his hand.

“Enough of that, you little shi–smartypants,” Joel mutters.

“I suspect your young prodigy here gets the sense we might be of blood relation based on a similar, uh, distinguished profile.”

“That’s not, uh…that’s not possible, kid.”

“I agree,” Ezra says smoothly. “The universe is rife with serendipitous occurrences, and I do believe that’s what we have here. The mind is a funny thing. We see what we want to see, Ellie.”

“Seriously?!”

“Your dad here–”

“He’s not my dad,” Ellie corrects automatically. Joel can’t help but feel a pang of indignation at the speed with which she pipes up.

“My apologies,” Ezra murmurs. “I stand corrected. This is your…?”

“He’s just Joel.”

“Of course, gem. Just Joel,” Ezra smiles in his direction. “So I asked your Joel here to ensure you understood what we’re doing. As your guardian, Joel needs to be an integral part of this process.”

“Yeah, ‘bout that–what exactly are we doin’ again?” Joel asks.

“I suspect your young prodigy here is finding the adjustment to life in Jackson a bit…finicky. I’m here to help ease that transition in whatever way I can.”

“You can start by telling the other kids to stop fucking touching my stuff,” Ellie adds.

“Christ, Ellie–”

Ezra holds up his hand, cutting off Joel’s growl and addressing the girl. “Let’s not get weighted down by the minutiae of the situation we find ourselves in, gem. Suffice it to say, we have some work to do, and we need to do it cooperatively.”

Ellie crosses her arms and huffs, but Ezra’s easy manner seems to soothe something in the girl.

“Now that you’ve delivered your…Joel…to me, he and I are going to have a little tête-à-tête . Nothing damning, just the facts. And you, if I’m not mistaken, will be late to school.”

He leans down to scribble something on a notepad, then hands it to Ellie. “Give this to your teacher.”

“You go straight to school an’ home after chores,” Joel adds, watching the late slip disappear into the pocket of Ellie’s jeans. “You’re still grounded, ‘member?”

“Like you’d let me forget,” she mutters, trudging out the door, leaving it cracked slightly.

They hear the front door open and shut, but Ezra holds up one finger, watching the entry with sly eyes.

Wait.

Joel catches his drift.

“Ellie,” he says.

“Aw, c’mon, man,” she grumbles from the entry. “If you’re gonna talk about me, I should get to hear it.”

“We’re not going to talk about you, gem,” Ezra says. “But this is a private conversation between your esteemed guardian and myself. Please give us your discretion and make haste.”

“Ugh, fine.”

Ezra goes to the office door and gently shuts it. Suddenly closed in the small room with a stranger, Joel feels a familiar but unwelcome prickle of fear take root. It’s the same feeling that has him sleeping with a gun under his mattress and locking his door at night, despite Tommy’s assurances that Jackson is safe as houses.

Without thinking, he reaches for his holster–the holster that isn’t there, because he doesn’t wear it unless he’s on patrol, because Jackson is a community and not the fucking QZ. It’s a subtle tic, but Ezra notices.

“We can open it if you’d prefer to partake of the fresh air.”

Joel swallows his fear with a dollop of shame. “S’fine.”

Ezra nods. “Have a seat if you like.”

He takes the chair across the small room, considering Joel through thick lashes. His face is kind, but something about the man’s gaze leaves Joel uneasy, like a bug under a magnifying glass. There’s a warm, simmering coil of tension in his gut that he can’t place.

Indigestion , Joel decides. Too much coffee.

He settles on the couch, old cushions and springs protesting, then leans forward on his knees, glancing around.

“You, uh…you like music?” he says, gesturing to the shelves of vinyl just behind Ezra.

“I do,” he says. “I was fortunate to find this sizable collection in the attic upon being assigned a house. I’ve added to it as I find new treasures to trade. And you?”

“Huh?”

“Do you enjoy music, Joel?”

“Uh, sure, yeah,” he says, rubbing at his lips self-consciously. “Play a little here and there. Guitar.”

Ezra’s face lights up. “Ah! A musician!”

“Hardly.”

“Speaking as one who can’t carry a tune in a bucket, color me impressed.”

The office window is wide open, a cool autumn breeze floating through and rifling the other man’s already unruly hair, but a deep heat has settled at the base of Joel’s neck and the room suddenly feels like a hot summer’s day.

He clears his throat. “So, uh…Ellie says you’re a counselor?”

“Indeed.”

“An’ you have, uh, qualifications? Somethin’ that says you’re the man for the job?”

Ezra grins at this. “I know I don’t look the part of the sage, and I can appreciate your frank concern. I do have some experience in this area, surprising as that may be. Before the outbreak, I was a Master’s student in clinical psychology. Although I didn’t get much opportunity to practice for reasons that should be quite obvious.”

“Right.”

“The fine folks of Jackson have been kind enough to give me a place and a profession that suits my abilities. I’m not much use drawing a plow or riding a horse, I’m afraid,” Ezra continues, nodding to his right shoulder.

“But before we proceed, I should like to understand your expectations and to set a few of my own. For one, I’m not here to play Freud. And I’m hardly qualified to make a diagnosis of any sort,” he continues. “A diagnosis isn’t worth a damn in this day and age, and I suspect you’d agree.”

Joel bites his lip. “Look, uh, I’ll be honest. Last time I set foot in a place like this, it did jack shit and ended in a divorce. So you’ll forgive me if I ain’t entirely comfortable with my…with Ellie…comin’ in here and talkin’ your ear off.”

“Trust that you are not the first to express concern or have a, let’s say, downright suspicious quality about this particular practice. But I hope you’ll humor me when I say that I, like you, only want what is best for Ellie. She’s a bright girl, that one. Very perceptive.”

Joel huffs softly. “Too damn smart for her own good sometimes.”

This elicits a tiny smile, leaving Joel worried he’s spoken too harshly.

“But she’s a good kid,” he adds quickly. “A really…good kid.”

Ezra nods. “I hope you don’t mind my saying so, but I think she could benefit from the ear of a friend. As I said, she’s bright. I wanted to try to get a clearer picture of her through your eyes. Your family dynamic, if you will. I take it there’s no Mrs. Joel? Or…Mr. Joel?”

Joel snorts. “Just me an’ her.”

“And she’s adopted?”

“Somethin’ like that,” Joel murmurs, scratching his chin. “We, uh…I had a job to move her out here. From Boston. Was supposed to find, uh…her relatives…but that didn’t work out and my brother, Tommy, gave us a place here.”

Ezra nods but doesn’t say anything further. He sprawls in the chair, legs spread, almost slouched, one forearm draped over the side. Relaxed but intent, eyebrows drawn together with an unspoken question. Joel swallows, finding his mouth suddenly dry.

“You, uh, need to write this down or anythin’?” Joel coughs, gesturing to the notepad on the coffee table in front of them.

Ezra shakes his head, smiling slightly. “No…no, we’re just having a conversation. No need to put it on the record for now. So…Boston to Jackson. That must have been quite the excursion.”

“You could say that.”

“I expect it wasn’t exactly uneventful?”

“No,” Joel says, almost too quickly. “No, it was, uh…she went through a lot. Stuff no kid should have to see…to do. You’ll have to ask her about it, though. S’not my place to talk for her.”

“I intend to do that,” Ezra nods. “I look forward to getting to know her over the next twelve weeks. And hopefully beyond, if she’ll give me the chance.”

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Joel mutters. “She’s a bit…gunshy. Especially around, uh, men. Even Tommy…she can’t be alone with him, an’ he’s about as tame as they come.”

“But she feels safe with you?”

“Think so. I mean, I’m all she had for months…out there,” he shrugs. “But that went both ways. We’re prob’ly what you shrinks call, uh…codependent.”

Ezra nods, voice softening. “A little codependency can mean the difference between life or death in a difficult time. And I imagine it’s been an adjustment…all this. I know we–I–found it difficult at first. Even the thickest of walls aren’t enough if we don’t feel truly safe in the heart and mind.”

Joel bites his lip. “Yeah…yeah. It’s different.”

“And how about you, Joel?”

“How ‘bout me what?”

“You’ve been through a similar ordeal, I presume, traveling together. And now you find yourself the unexpected father figure to a dynamic and spirited young lady–”

Joel bites back a scoff. “This ain’t about me.”

Ezra shrugs. “I don’t mean to pry, and you’re free to pass on anything you don’t feel comfortable answering, of course. I’m just trying to build a picture in the interest of aiding my work with Ellie.”

The temptation to pass is strong, but that heat in his gut is still there, a distraction loosening his tongue.

“Yeah, I guess it’s, uh…it’s been a lot. For both of us, but mostly her,” he says, rubbing at the back of his neck. “She’s not used to havin’ someone in her corner. She’s…she was an orphan…before.”

He sighs, allowing himself to sink back into the couch cushions, shoulders loosening a fraction.

“I told her not to bring that damn knife to school in the first place,” he says, glancing down at his broken watch. “But she needed it when we were on the road. She’s prob’ly needed it all her damn life. Seems wrong to ask her to give that up when we’ve only been here a few months. Not that she’s s’posed to be waving it around at folks, or…y’know.”

“Mmm,” he says. “Well, I don’t intend to lay blame here. Raising a child…alone…comes with its fair share of hardships and trials. Regardless, it’s a noble endeavor, to take one into your care.”

He snorts. “Think she’s done more to take care of me than the other way around.”

“If I may be so bold…I suspect you’re not giving yourself enough credit.”

“I’m sure she’ll tell you,” Joel says drily. “Kid’s not one to hold back.”

Ezra grins. “I sensed as much.”

He stands, offering his hand, and Joel takes it. The man’s grip is firm and warm and the memory of his touch lingers on Joel’s skin long after he’s left. That warm flare in his gut throbs, a not-unpleasant heat licking gently at the base of his spine, and he finally places it.

It’s been so damn long since he’s felt that particular burn, being on the road for months, never safe, never alone given Ellie’s constant companionship. There was probably a time or two in his early days with Tess when he found himself surprised by desire, but it was easily smothered, tamed, wrested into submission.

That night, Joel tosses and turns and finally gives into the low-level arousal that’s plagued him all damn day, palming himself roughly through his sweats until he’s fully hard.

He imagines Ezra’s eyes on him, watching, remembers the feel of the man’s skin against his palm. He bites back a groan of pleasure when he eases his waistband over his cock and takes himself out, allowing his grip to tighten and find a familiar, easy rhythm. He can’t get the younger man’s voice out of his head, that low, rumbling baritone, so oddly soothing.

He presses his face into the pillow to muffle the sound when he comes.

#tlou fanfic #the last of us fanfic #joel miller x ezra #joel x ezra #prospect fanfic #joel and ellie

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hyrules-warrior · 2 years ago

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There needs to be more fics focusing on Joel’s PTSD and other issues after returning to Jackson.

I mean the guy has finally opened himself up after loosing his daughter. He was having panic attacks in episode 6, had full on dissociative episode with the events at the hospital. This guy has issues and finally being safe with Ellie in Jackson, those will start to come out as he relaxes for the first time in 20 years.

There are pancakes for breakfast at the canteen one morning. Joel gets in two bites before he goes white faced and barely makes it outside and between the buildings before he violently throws up everything he has ever eaten in his life and sits there hyperventilating and shaking until Ellie finds him and he comes back to himself. Sarah and him were supposed to have pancakes for his birthday breakfast that last day......before.......

Ellie has horrible nightmares, but so does Joel. Terrifying dreams of failure, of dying in that basement and leaving Ellie alone, of failing to make it to the surgeon in time to stop the surgery, of letting David......... He wakes up and has to stumble over to Ellie’s room to check on her just as much as she does for him after her dreams. Sometimes he is so shaken he has to wake her to make sure she is okay. But usually he just sees and hears her breathing and that is enough. He will settle in the window seat of her room with a gun and keep watch the rest of the night. Unknown or maybe just not acknowledged by both, Ellie herself sleeps the best the nights when he does this.

He has moments of high anxiety where he just has to lean against something for a few moments and breathe through it to settle his ringing ears and pounding heart. He isn’t even sure of the triggers most of the time, it seems to come out of nowhere. He also has sudden moments where he totally checks out but still functions. He is thrust back into survival mode and usually after has no idea why and barely remembers what happened during it. He closes right off, seems to stare at something far away instead of who is with him, his responses come out in his “asshole voice”, cold and distant. People just think he is grumpy, had a rough night or something but Ellie knows better. If she is there she works to keep people off of him and remove him from the situation in case that has triggered this shut down moment. When Ellie is with him her voice and touch grounds him, is the lifeline he tugs on to swim back to the present. It takes 10 times longer to drag himself back if she isn’t there.

His stab wound was major and the first aid done on it was understandably not the best. It never really heals right and remains sensitive. It pulls uncomfortably sometimes and aches horribly on cold winter days or when the pressure drops before a storm. And the phantom pains....... He wakes some nights from feverish dreams of the basement swearing he has just been stabbed all over again. The pain so fresh and sharp he thinks someone broke in and stabbed him there with a red hot fire poker. The first time it happens the wounded animal noises he lets out unbidden scare Ellie so bad she thinks he is dying and her extreme fear is what brings him back to the present. In the future he tries to hide it, dealing with his pain in silence (or attempted silence). Ellie still seems to know though and will silently come into his room and curl against his side allowing him to slowly settle. Or if the pain comes during the day she will push him into laying on the couch and get out the hot water bottle. Heat and seeing Ellie alive and well seems to soothe the pain, chase the winter away from his memory.

Just like with Ellie’s trauma, these things begin to fade with time and attentive care from the one he needs most.

#I love my joel whump #guy is fucked up too and people seem to forget that #dude needs a million ellie hugs #the last of us #tlou #joel and ellie #joel miller

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mediadiscord · 2 years ago

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The Last of Us Season 1 Episode 9 - Recap and Review

Hey everyone welcome back to my recap and review of another episode of The Last of Us. The show which I’m liking, based on a video game I’ve never played on a system that that I didn’t continue playing after the second generation. As per usual this review will not feature any Easter eggs, because frankly I wouldn’t know what one would be if I came across one. We’ll, we’ve made it to the finale and I believe this may be one of the more shorter episodes in this season. This gives some quick, straight the point answers about Ellie and her immunity to the virus as well as sets up a situation that will surely carry over into next season. It looks like I’m back on my super late to the party recap and review party, so let’s get right into it. We start off with a pregnant woman who is running through the forest who obviously has gone into labor. She stumbles into a house and heads upstairs into a room, closes the door and sits against the wall as she is trying to keep quiet to avoid any unwanted attention. You can hear a growling from a far and an infected breaks through the door and attacks her. She pulls out her pocket knife and kills the infected, then realized that as she was fighting off the infected she happen to push out a baby. She quickly cuts the umbilical cord and picks up the newborn. While admiring the life that she just birthed she notices that she has been bitten. I’m going to stop right here and tell you that this really hit me in the feels. I was just last night looking at pictures of my daughter when she was born and getting sentimental, so this didn’t help at all. Not only did this woman just put her life on the line to protect her baby, she now has to show this baby a lifetime of love in a short period because she knows she won’t be around for very long. We cut to Marlene, who we haven’t see since the first episode, entering the house and following the sound of a woman singing. Marlene enters a room and finds Anna holding a swaddled newborn and singing to her. The infected still lay dead next to her. She hands the baby to Marlene and tells her that she was bit before cutting the umbilical cord and tells her that the baby’s name is Ellie. She asks for help doing three things. The first is to feed her. She didn’t want to feed the baby while being infected, the second thing is to take care of the baby and the last is to take care of her by killing her. After some hesitation she hands the baby to another man that accompanied her and kills Anna. We cut to current day and Ellie is staring off in the distance as Joel scavenges for items. He mentions that the hospital where they are to meet the fireflys is near and they continue. Ellie seems more quiet than normal and Joel picks up on that. They get to a city where they make their way up a building where Ellie calls for Joel as there’s a Giraffe there just handing out eating leaves. It’s a nice moment as this is another moment where Joel gets to bring out his fatherly side and this almost imitates him and his daughter being at a zoo. The look in his eyes says it all and it’s almost like there is no apocalypse, just a father and daughter hanging out. As they continue walking a smoke grenade is thrown and Ellie taken out as Joel is knocked out. Joel wakes up to Marlene standing there. Joel asks where Ellie is and she explains that she is being prepped for surgery. There’s a doctor who believes that Ellie has enough of the virus inside of her to fool the virus enough to think that she is already fully infected, so it doesn’t start taking over her body. The doctor is going to isolate that part of what keeps Ellie safe and extract it, making Ellie vulnerable like everyone else. She then tells Joel that he will be escorted out to the highway, given some supplies and that’s the end of his journey with Ellie. Joel is escorted out and then wrestles the gun away from his escort, kills him and continues taking out every person in the hospital until he gets to where Ellie is being prepped for surgery. He shoots the doctor and orders the nurses to unhook an unconscious Ellie. As he makes his way with Ellie to the garage to locate a vehicle to use, he comes across Marlene who begs him to let this surgery happen. The next scene is Joel driving Ellie who wakes up and asks where everyone is. Joel lies and says that there are others like Ellie out there that raiders took he clothes so that’s why she is still in her hospital gown. She’s still woozy from the anesthetic and we cut to their vehicle broken down on the side of the road. Joel remarks that their next destination is about a 5-hour hike and as they walk Joel remarks that Ellie would have like his daughter and she would have liked her. Ellie stops and asks Joel is everything that she had been told about the fireflies by Joel was true. Joel has a flashback of shooting Marlene and leaving with Ellie and then turns to Ellie and says yes it was true. I really liked this episode but felt it went really fast. I like they didn't spend too much time on the explination of Ellie's immunity and didn't overly complicate it, but I also like how this really did feel like the end of a chapter in their lives. Ellie confirmed that the first person she ever killed was her friend in the mall and Joel admitted to trying to kill himself after his daughter died. Each of them lost someone and finding eachother is what kept them whole. It's no doubt that Joel has gone full stepdad and when speaking to Ellie he didn't come out and say it, but he implied it was Ellie who saved him. Joel made a choice to keep Ellie in his life, even though it meant that a cure would not be made. It was a tough choice and honestly I don't know if I would have made a different one. What if something happened during surgery and she didn't make it through and the cure didn't turn out to be something that could be made. Joel would have no one in his life. Even though his brother's alive, he wouldn't want to burden him with his moping around. He would just continue wondering until his day comes. Like I've said multiple times, I haven't played the games, but I know more or less what happens and it's hard to not get pre-sad on what may or may not happen in the next season. I wonder if we'll hear him sing Future Days by Pearl Jam. Read the full article

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andvys · 3 years ago

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Longing (part 13)

Warnings: angst, some fluff

Pairing: Ellie Williams x reader

Author’s note: this chapter is kinda short but I still wanted to give you guys something so here you go 💕 next chapter might take a while tho, I’m not sure yet.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” Ellie answered, running her hand up and down your arm. You were still laying on the couch, naked under the thin blanket. You were fully on top of her, your head on her chest.

“Is that ‘chemical burn’ a bite?” You asked looking up at her.

“Yeah, you put the pieces together huh?” She asked, looking down on you. Nodding your head, “kinda always thought this story was bullshit but I didn’t think that it could be a bite from an infected.” Tracing her tattoo.

“Do you wanna know the story?” She asked, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to Ellie.” You said, not wanting to make her uncomfortable.

“I want to.” She said, rubbing your back softly.

“Alright.”

She began telling you about Riley, she first told you the story of their friendship and how she always had a crush on her. It was cute hearing her talk about her teenage years. Comparing them to yours, they seemed normal, your teenage years were brutal, you were forced to do things, horrible things. She told you about her and Joel, how they met and bonded over time and then she told you about what happened at the hospital, what Joel did to get her out of there and how he lied to her about it, you never knew what happened between them but now you understood.

You got why she was angry at him for keeping something like that from her but you didn’t agree with her opinion on this. You knew the fireflies, you knew what they did and you sure as hell didn’t support what they were willing to do to get a vaccine. Killing an innocent girl for a vaccine that didn’t even have a guarantee that it could work, seemed wrong to you.

Ellie looked down at, she wanted to know what was going through your head. You didn’t say anything yet and you seemed to be deep in thought, processing all the information you just got.

Looking up at her, you leaned in pecking her lips softly. “Can I be honest with you?” You asked, stroking her cheek.

“Of course.”

“You won’t agree with me on this but what Joel did.. it was right.” Furrowing her brows at you she went to say something but you didn’t let her. “There was no guarantee that it would’ve worked. My dad was a firefly.. h-he told me some of the horrible things they’ve done to people. How they experimented on them and even turned them into those things just to see if they’re new ‘cure’ would work. Ever since the outbreak, they’ve been promising people a cure and yet they always come out empty handed. You being immune, has got nothing to do with a cure, your blood might be more advanced or something, maybe there are more like you around the world and maybe in the future most people will be immune.” She seemed to process your words, not knowing what to say, she looked up at the ceiling.

“And Joel, he loved you ellie. He would’ve done anything for you. He decided that it wasn’t worth to live in a ‘better world’ knowing that you weren’t a part of it. He was okay with living in this horrible world as long as you’re alive and well I would’ve done the same thing if I was him.” She looked at you, eyes glistening with tears.

“Ellie I’d rather spent my life living in a world where there’s a possibility that I could die out there every time I go out than living in a peaceful world knowing that you don’t even get to be a part of it.” You said, wiping her tears away, you kissed her cheek. She couldn’t believe that you’d rather live in this hell with her than even thinking about the possibility of living a safe and healthy life, without her.

“I let him down.” She whispered, letting more tears fall. “And I never got the chance to forgive him.”

She was feeling guilt. You knew this ugly feeling all to well and you wouldn’t let it destroy her. She was suffering for having treated Joel bad all these years but beating herself up for it wouldn’t bring him back.

“He knows Ellie.” You whispered, hugging her. You felt her pain, you knew exactly what she was going through.

“Joel loved you like his own daughter, no matter what. He wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up like that okay?” Grabbing her face in your hands. “Don’t do this to yourself Ellie, it’s easy to lose yourself in this darkness so fight it, no matter what.” Wiping her tears away, you pressed a kiss on her cheek. “I’m here with you.”

“Thank you babe.” Hugging you close to her, she kissed her forehead. You knew what she was going through right now, you knew because you felt like that too. Ellie couldn’t forgive herself for the way she treated Joel and you couldn’t forgive yourself for saving Abby.

You always tried to do the right thing, helping wherever you could, helping whoever you could and yet you felt like you were a bad person. You saved Joel’s killer. You saved a boy you shouldn’t have saved when you were 14 years old. You always tried saving everyone and in the process of doing so, you started losing yourself.

You realized most people you saved ended up being bad and you’d have to kill them in the end. Abby would be no exception. You were going to kill her, you promised yourself that. For Joel.

You still had nightmares of Joel blaming you for his death before killing you. You knew it wasn’t real, you knew it was your mind making it up because of the guilt you were feeling. This wasn’t Joel, he would never blame you for anything, let alone kill you but it still made you feel bad. It was exhausting and you were tired all the damn time. Your mind either plagued your with nightmares or with Joel’s death, you weren’t sure how long you could keep going like that but you had to stay strong for Ellie, you acted like you were fine, you didn’t show her how weak you actually felt. You had to pull through at least until Abby was dead, you owed this to her, you owed this to Joel.

Waking up it was still dark out. Both you and Ellie fell asleep after your conversation. Looking down at her, she was fast asleep, breathing softly, her arm was around you, keeping you close to her in her sleep, you’d love to stay like that with her for a while longer but you still had to check out the rest of the theater, so you got up carefully making sure you wouldn’t wake her up. Putting your clothes on, you looked at Ellie one more time before going further inside the theater, to see what you would find.

You went up the stairs, and grabbed whatever you could find that would be useful later. You thought about last night. You weren’t sure if what you and Ellie did was right, you wanted her but you had to admit to yourself that it was an act of frustration. You were on the road for weeks, facing bad people, infected and what not, life wouldn’t let you catch a break and the minute you had time to relax you and Ellie used it to forget about everything else for a while, it helped but it wasn’t the right time. You didn’t regret it, not at all. You enjoyed every second of it and would do it again but maybe at a more appropriate time. You just hoped Ellie wouldn’t regret it.

You found an old radio and decided to try and fix it after you got the generator started. It took you a while but you finally managed to fix it. Listening in on them you found some stuff out that would definitely be useful to you. Sitting on the floor you looked at the map and then at the Polaroids, grabbing the one with Abby and the guy named Owen, you looked at it. Deep in thought you didn’t hear Ellie come inside until she said your name softly. Turning too look at her, you smiled at her. “Hey.”

“Hey babe”. Sitting down next to you. “You good?” She asked, searching for the look of regret on your face. She woke up with you gone and she feared that you changed your mind about her and felt bad for what you two did.

“I am, you?” You asked, glancing at her quickly before looking down again. Feeling a little shy under her gaze.

“Me too.” She said, nervously rubbing her neck she looked at you, blushing at the marks around your neck, it was covered with hickeys and bruises. “Listen (y/n) you don’t- you don’t regret it do you?” Her question making you snap your head to the side, to look at her.

“No! No, god no Ellie.” You said, staring into her eyes now, intertwining your fingers with hers. Hating the fact that you made her feel like you regretted having sex with her.

Breathing out, she felt relieved at your words. For a second she thought you’d go back to the way you used to be a few weeks ago. Moving closer she kissed your temple before looking down at the map.

“I see you fixed the radio.. did you hear something?” She asked, taking polaroid of Abby and Owen in her hand looking at it.

You started explaining to her what you found out and where you’d have to go today, showing her on the map while talking about the WLF’s.

“We have to find Jesse.” You said, looking at the map in worry. You had no idea where he went and you didn’t know where to start looking for him.

“Do you think we should go back to the serevena hotel?” Ellie asked, noticing the concerned look on your face.

“I.. I don’t know. He wouldn’t be there anymore I think.” You said, sighing. “I don’t know what to do, I hope he’s okay.”

“I’m worried too but I’m sure he’s fine. Tommy’s out there as well, who knows maybe they ran into each other already.” Ellie said, shrugging.

“I hope so.” You whispered, grabbing the map off the floor you stuffed it in your backpack. “Should we get going?” You asked, standing up.

Ellie looked up at you, frowning slightly, she was worried about what you were going to be facing today, she didn’t want you to be in danger but she knew you sure as hell wouldn’t sit back and wait for her here.

“Yeah.” She said, getting up.

Nodding your head you turned around to go out the door but a hand pulled you back. Facing Ellie again, she pulled you closer hands on your cheeks she leaned in pressing her lips against yours softly. Sighing into the kiss you closed your eyes, kissing her back with your arms around her neck. Enjoying this moment before you’d go out into this shitty world.

Pulling away from each other, you opened your eyes, gazing into her eyes you pecked her lips once more. “Alright let’s go.” You whispered, grabbing her hand. “Yeah”. Squeezing your hand she followed you out.

You didn’t know what was going to happen today. You didn’t know what kinds of threats you’d be facing but you knew that you’d keep Ellie safe and she would keep you safe.

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams #tlou imagines #tlou ellie

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pascalpanic · 4 years ago

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Blood, Sweat, and Tears (Javier Peña x f!Reader)- Chapter One

Summary: You live in Bogotá in the ��90s, and work odd hours. No, you’re not a DEA agent, but a nurse. These odd hours prompt odd habits, like working out at 2:03 A.M. after a shift. Odd hours attract odd people, and you have a chance encounter with one DEA agent by the name of Javier Peña. Warnings: language, blood and violence (both graphic), descriptions of death and gun violence Chapter 1 W/C: 2.3K A/N: you guys! I am so in love with this fic. I already have quite a bit more written and can’t wait for you to read it! I hope you love it as much as I do! Javi deserves some softness... but not too much. this can’t all be fluff when you’re Javier Peña. Okay, this is not super canon-fitting of Narcos, I’m just gonna be honest with y’all. This is between the time of Escobar’s escape from La Catedral and his final capture and death, but also… Connie’s still in Colombia. Additionally, I don’t really have a year in mind, it’s just somewhere in that period. Please note that this is not a very lighthearted story- it begins with a death, though not of a significant character. Javier and reader both have some trauma, so please check the warnings of each chapter before you start reading. If you’re continuing on, I hope you like it! For the most part, if I use italics here when someone is speaking, it’s indicating that it’s in Spanish. I’m okay at the language, but I don’t want to butcher anything, so… just imagine it. Otherwise, it’s just the way anyone would use italics I guess.

next chapter

Chapter One

You watched a woman you didn’t know die in your arms tonight.

She was beautiful, all dressed up to go out and party, her makeup running down her face with tears. Her lips were the painted the color of the blood that trickled from the side of them, eyes glazing over as she coughed and coughed and ruined the beautiful dress she wore. The nurses had asked what happened, and she had told them, through gurgles of blood: she had slept with one of Escobar’s men. She got too close, learned too much, and they tracked her down.

She flatlined not long after telling the nurses around you. You had stood in the corner, paralyzed at first. You were an experienced ER nurse, nothing was new. You had seen patients die, but something about her was different. Maybe it was the way she reached out to you right before her body went limp. You didn’t make it to her bedside in time to calm her, the panic holding you down, but you finally took her hand right as she took her last breath.

After she passed, you threw up in the bathroom, shaking and clutching the toilet. The night air had grown unbearably hot and humid, causing your scrubs to cling to your skin, and the sweat from the heaving of your stomach didn’t make things easier on you. Lorena, a fellow nurse and your best friend at work, had found you and comforted you, rubbing your back and bringing you water. It didn’t matter. It couldn’t reverse what had happened.

Now, you sit on a bench in the staff’s locker room, redoing the ponytail holding your hair from your damp face. Your shift ended a few minutes ago, but you don’t know what to do now. You don’t feel like drinking; that would only make the visions swimming in your head worse. You know you can’t go home, can’t attempt to find sleep tonight. You look up and spot a bag with tennis shoes and spare clothing and settle your mind on at least one thing: the gym could do you some good. You change into the clothes and put the blood-spattered scrubs in the laundry pile.

As you leave, you give Lorena a little wave goodbye and exit the building. You’re hyper-aware of your surroundings tonight, and you groan as you look at your watch and notice that it’s precisely 2:09 A.M. here in Bogotá. The walk to your fitness club is short, but your step is slightly extra hurried and your hand is on your pepper spray the entire time, extra vigilant to the fact that a hit went down somewhere around here just a few hours earlier. Surprisingly enough, no one catcalls or bugs you tonight.

The little gym is run-down and dilapidated, and there’s no working air conditioning, but it’s the only one near you. You paid the small monthly membership fee to gain access, and you were going to use it to get in shape, you’d decided. As you swipe in and enter, the tiny fitness center looks more depressing in the fluorescent lights, no daylight to sugarcoat the atrocities of the center. There are two of every machine, a punching bag and a speed bag, two weightlifting racks, and a couple of benches.

It’s nice that you get to work out alone tonight, you tell yourself. Even better is the fact that you now get to control the music. Desperate for a taste of home, you flip the large boombox in the corner on and begin scanning the airwaves with the dial. There’s a station in town that plays American music, and you need it more than anything tonight. You listen carefully and nearly start sobbing again as you hear Billy Joel’s voice through the speakers. With a sigh of relief, you lock your bag in the rusty lockers in the corner and head to the treadmill. It’s a beat up old thing, but this is the one you always use. It provides a little bit of comfort tonight, the familiarity of it. You turn it on low and start walking. A few moments later, you up it to a jog, mouthing along to the words of the familiar song.

As the song ends, you push the buttons enough to enter a running speed. Your feet slam into the treadmill harder than normal tonight, feeling as overwhelmed as when you left the hospital. Your body finally works up a sweat, the physical stress overwhelming the mental stress.

As the events of tonight replay in your head to some other song from the late 80’s, your eyes start to water. Everything was so overwhelming, and your mind is just starting to process it. You finally allow the tears to fall, mixing with the sweat coating your cheeks. It’s hard to tell which is causing more of the mess, but you let yourself cry it out as you run for the next few minutes.

The next song that comes on is Venus by Bananarama. You almost chuckle at the fact that it’s a few years old by now, but the song is comforting. It reminds you of home, of a time before you had issues like these. You slow down the treadmill a little, singing to the words aloud once you catch your breath enough. Daring to do a little spin on the rolling surface, you groove along to the music, chuckling a little

After the first chorus, you hear a creaking noise and whip around to find a man standing in the doorway. “Jesus fucking Christ!” You shout before you can stop yourself, hopping off the treadmill and onto the non-moving one before you get flung off. Your heart is pounding from the running, only intensifying the adrenaline rush from the scare.

The man chuckles a little, but the smile on his face doesn’t reach his eyes. He’s tired- of course he is, it’s now 2:30 in the morning. “Lo siento,” you offer in Spanish, cringing at yourself and your reaction just now. “I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be here this late,” you stutter, still panting from the running. He shakes his head lightly. “You’re American,” he says simply. In English, in a beautifully American accented voice.

Your sweaty brow furrows, a glimmer of hope sparking inside your chest as you notice that he speaks like an American himself. “So are you.”

He nods at that. “That I am,” he says as he puts his things in a locker, snapping it shut behind him. He looks at you for a moment. You’re not working at the Embassy, or he’d know you. It was rare to find an American down here that wasn’t working for the government somehow. He shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair, looking at how tired he appears in the big mirrored wall. He’s curious, but he’s exhausted.

You look at him for a moment. “You going to explain anything, like, tell me about yourself? Or do I have to go first?” You ask, hands on your waist as you hop back on the slowly moving treadmill, back into moving. He doesn’t respond. “Fine. I know you’re government. I’m not an idiot.”

He chuckles and tugs on his t-shirt, moving to the treadmill next to you and getting on. It’s been ages since you’ve held a conversation in English, and you missed this, missed how easily your first language flows from your mouth. “And you’re not.”

“Correct,” you nod, turning up the speed a little on the machine until you’re at a light jog. “My bigger concern was going to be why you’re here at 2-fucking-30, but I’m guessing I know the answer. You get called in around here for the hit?” He nods, starting the treadmill up and walking on it.

“You don’t have to be so guarded, Jesus. I fucking hate Escobar, I’m on your side,” you scoff before turning up the machine until you’re running once more.

Javier shrugs. “Makes sense. How did you know-”

“She died,” you say quickly and firmly, keeping your eyes straight ahead and looking at the room around you. “Add that to your file.”

He nods, understanding a little more now. You knew her somehow. He doesn’t say a word either, cranking up the machine and heading into a jog too.

A few more minutes pass of the two of you silently running next to each other, the American music still playing throughout the gym. It’s a comfort to Javier too. Tonight was shit for the DEA- they had known Escobar’s men would be around here. They had the intel, they had everything ready, but the men somehow had escaped and left a victim in their wake.

The frustration of everything, of the man being something close to home for you yet being a brick wall, threatens your eyes with welling tears again. “I just wanted to talk with an American,” you sigh and cross your arms, moving back into the walking stage of a treadmill.

The man next to you gives a similar sigh, stopping his treadmill completely and offering you a hand. “Javier Peña.” You take it reluctantly, feeling the sweat of both of your hands mix, and tell him your name before retracting it and stopping the treadmill too. “So, what brings you to the gym at 2:30?” He asks, crossing his arms and leaning against the center part of the treadmill.

“I’m a nurse. I work the graveyard shift. Bad night, a patient died because she got fucking shot for having a boyfriend and not knowing he was a narco, I need to get something out, I come here,” you shrug, unconsciously mimicking him by folding your arms as well.

He nods at that. “I’m here for the same. Shitty stakeout, I’m pissed off, I come here.” He leaves out the part about his favorite call girl being taken, and how he needed another way to get the rage inside of him out. He walks off of the treadmill and to the weight rack, pulling a bench beneath the bar.

You turn again and turn the machine back on, slowly jogging. “I see. Odd hours to be here, that’s why I asked,” you say simply. “And to see another American at such a time. I haven’t interacted with one since I came here.”

Javier nods, adjusting the weights on the bar. “Yeah. Weird,” he nods. “And that you’re an American who isn’t working for the government and you’re down here. What, you got a husband who works for us?”

You shake your head, swallowing hard for a moment. “No, don’t have a husband in the first place,” you admit, adjusting the ponytail holding your hair up. “It’s a long story.”

“We got time,” he shrugs as he gets on the bench beneath the rack, looking at you in the mirrored wall. Even with the sweat and the stress of working out, he notices that you’re gorgeous. You have a nice body, and even your face is pretty while you’re working out.

You shake your head. “Fine, if you really want to hear it.”

“Might as well. It’s that or more of this fucking Wham! music, and I’m sick of George Michael.”

“First of all, first person here gets the music, so mind your manners.” This finally earns a chuckle from the man, and you want to smile but it just can’t come. “I came down here with a man. He’s a citizen here. We were going to get married, but he left me. That was a couple of months ago now,” you admit, the tears beading in the corner of your eye again. “My work visa was still valid, and I renewed it so I can keep working at the hospital. I don’t really have anyone down here except the girls I work with, but I like helping out. They need me.” He nods a little as he listens, breaking his focus as he starts his reps with the bar.

“And you’re government, so that explains everything I need to know about you,” you continue to babble. “One of the girls I work with has a husband who’s at the Embassy. Murphy,” you say offhandedly.

Javier’s attention is caught, and he sets the bar on the rack. “Murphy?” He asks, and you turn your head to look at him and give him a nod. “No shit. That’s my partner.”

You chuckle slightly and look back at him, stopping the treadmill. “So you know Connie?”

Javi nods. “Yeah, great gal. She could do better than Steve,” he says, sitting up.

You laugh softly at that. “From what I’ve heard of him, I agree. She’s a really great girl, you’re right,” you nod in agreement, looking back at him. “She’s never mentioned you. She says her husband’s in janitorial, but we all know that’s not true. What, you guys CIA? DEA?”

Javier nods again. “DEA.”

“I see,” you say, folding your arms and leaning against the machine. “Can’t make you many friends around here. I learned pretty quickly to keep my mouth shut about being a gringa. They can usually tell though.”

“You’re right,” he chuckles and cracks his back.

You bite your lip as you look at him, your voice watery when you can finally speak again, suddenly overwhelmed by emotion again. “It’s nice to talk to someone in English again,” you admit with a forced smile.

He can read your eyes easily. You’re a nurse, and you told him that the victim died. You saw it. “It is,” he nods, reading your pain and trying to show you he empathizes with it. Your eyes are beautiful, he notices as he looks into them. So much more hope and trust than anyone else he works with, but the pain in them is unbearable. He looks away, leaning back on the bench to lift again.

“So where you from in the States?” You finally ask when the silence is too long.

“Laredo, Texas,” he chuckles. “Yourself?”

#javier peña x reader #javi peña x reader #javier peña #javi peña #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pascalpanic #narcos #narcos fanfic #blood sweat and tears

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unprofessional-bard · 4 years ago

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Chapter 8 - Truth or Dare

Losing My Religion Series Masterlist

Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist

Previous Chapter • Next Chapter

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader/OC

Warnings: A lot of angst and when i say angst...

Summary: The reader is stuck to the hospital bed, healing considerably slow. Her feelings and emotions are scattered all over the place and things are harder without her lover by her side.

Word Count: 2.575

Author's Note: Hey y'all!! I'm terribly sorry this took so long but I was really busy with moving and everything, I honestly had no angst in me to write this chapter bc I'm just so happy that I moved here, but the past few days were a lil exhausting so I finished this while resting... I didn't wanna update with this short ass chapter but I have to update y'all so I separated the chapter into two, I hope y'all still have interest in Losing My Religion, I love you and thank you all for being patient with me! 🥺🥺

Enjoy!

"Be careful!"

The ice under your feet was inches thick, it didn't seem like it'd break, but you didn't trust that: "It's alright, I got this."

The girl didn't wail or scream for help, she anxiously waited for your approach. You held out your hand for her: "Grab my hand, I'm gonna get you across, it's gonna be okay." The girl hesitated but grabbed your hand anyway: "Don't worry, you're not gonna get in trouble, I'm gonna make sure of that."

"Alright, okay," The girl shook her head and followed you with careful steps. Everything was going fine until you reached halfway, when the ice under her feet cracked, making your ears perk up. You snapped your head back to meet her frightened eyes: "Uh..."

"Felicity!" You shouted across the frozen river, catching her attention. With all your strength, you grabbed the kid's coat by the neck.

"Woah, what are you doing?" She grabbed your arm, alerted by your action as the ice cracked more underneath your feet. You pulled her coat's zipper down a little.

"Watch yourself-" You said, grabbed the back of her coat with your other hand, then launched her across the river to where Felicity was; the ice under your feet crushing altogether a second later, swallowing you whole.

Your body reacted to the cold in a panicked way, naturally, but you remembered your training and swam up immediately, calming yourself down. You gasped loudly as soon as your head was out of the water, Felicity calling for you: "You alright?!"

You were too cold to speak, so as your breathing calmed down you gave her a thumbs up instead. Your cold-shock response was better this time as you hadn't swallowed any water, so you spread your arms and started kicking at the water with your feet as soon as you raised them. You calmly but quickly pushed yourself out of the water and onto the ice.

"(Y/N)?!" You heard her shout over to you a couple of times as you breathed, but each time she did, her voice got closer and closer, although she was still on the ground away from you.

"(Y/N)?"

----

"(Y/N)?" You felt a hand on your shoulder, shaking you gently. "Come on Dolly, wake up..."

It was Ellie. You wanted to open your eyes, tell her or move a limb to let her know that ou were awake, but you just couldn't. What the hell?

After a few more seconds, you managed to sigh loudly through your nose: "I think she's waking up, Katherine."

After what felt like an eternity, you woke up in a different room where Ellie, Maria and Tommy were by your side. There were bandages wrapped all over you: Your head, shoulder, chest area, your knee and the same ankle you fractured months ago. One of your eyelids was lower than the other.

"You look like a mummy," Ellie chuckled softly as you examined yourself. You nodded but didn't speak, your throat hurt terribly.

"Could you give us a minute?" Tommy cleared his throat as you gained better consciousness with each passing second. You watched the girls leave the room and Tommy pull his chair to your side: "How're you feelin'?"

"Like shit," You whispered and sighed. "At least it doesn't hurt too bad- for now, anyway."

"Yeah, Katherine and Daisy are taking care of you just fine..." Tommy put his hand on yours and gave it a light squeeze. "You're gonna be okay, but it's gonna take some time."

"No shit," You smiled bitterly.

"Joel wants to see you," Tommy pursed his lips, pulling his hand away. "He's been worried sick- Ellie says she saw him leavin' the house with bloodshot eyes..."

Your heart broke at his comment and your face scrunched up, feeling terribly nauseous with this new information: "Is he here?"

"He's outside the room," Tommy spoke and got up. "Look, I know I don't get to have a say in this but... He'd never do anything to hurt you- especially on purpose. He loves you."

Your eyes teared up and breath got stuck in your throat as he turned around and left, then you distantly heard something he said to Joel and waited for the long awaited confrontation between you and your lover.

----

Joel immediately got up from the chair he was sitting on right before Tommy came out of your room, looked at his brother intently: "She needs some time, but she'll come around."

Tommy patted Joel on the shoulder after his comment and walked away from him, leaving you two be. He took a deep breath and slowly, almost gently, got in the room, closing the door behind him: "Hey..."

"Hey," You whispered. The lack of emotion and the abundance of red and purple bruises on your face crushed Joel.

"Did Ellie ever tell you how we met?"

Joel was surprised at the question: "No, she didn't."

You chuckled, which at first helped him relax a little, but you coughed afterwards and Joel was back to worrying. He sat down on Tommy's previous spot silently as you leaned back on your pillow and spoke: "There was a student gone missing from the QZ... We tracked her down to this lake but it was frozen and she was standing right in the middle of all that ice. I went over to her but the ice decided to crack then. I got her out but I fell-" Joel's expression broke your heart furthermore. "I had training of course and it wasn't my first time falling into icy water... That's how we met- and began getting along, I guess."

Joel nodded and smiled softly, face riddled with pain, tiredness, fear and relief all at the same time; you turned your head towards him and asked: "Is there anything else I should know, Joel?"

He knew damn well what that meant, even though he'd never seen this side to you. It reminded him of his ex-wife for a brief moment, before speaking: "Yeah... actually there is one more thing, but if I'm honest?"

"Hm?"

"... I don't got the stomach to tell you."

"Why not?" You were genuinely stressed out and confused now. What could be worse than what you two just went through?

"I've realised now that ah-" Joel looked away, a hand brushing past his watch in the process. "I kept it from you for too long... I- I should've told you earlier-"

"Told her what earlier?" The younger Miller suddenly appeared by the doorway, leaning on it. Joel gave Tommy a grave look, the one he gave him when he told his younger brother how he had saved Ellie - it made Tommy immediately understand what was going on, his face going slightly pale.

Joel suddenly got up and as he made his way over to where his brother was, you called out for him with your weak voice: "Joel?!"

He gave you one last look, before looking down and walking past Tommy. Were those tears in his eyes-?

"What the hell is going on, Tommy?" You sighed, exasperated.

Tommy stared at you for a while, not knowing what to say, then slowly closed the door: "It ain't gonna be pretty, (Y/N), but if you ain't too tired, let's talk huh?"

Your muscles tensed at his words, but despite how bad you wanted to rest you were dying with curiosity to know exactly what the hell happened that made the brothers' tails go between their legs. Tommy pulled a chair to your left and sat down. He was also tense, he didn't sit like he usually does - like the Texan he was. He gulped, searched for the right words, then sighed and began: "I thought Joel would've told you this, but it seems not."

"For fuck sake, Tommy," You sighed, then a wheeze and a cough followed. "Just spit it out."

"'Kay, okay... The reason why Joel never really told you what happened on his journey with Ellie after they dropped you off here- it's ugly. Joel's ashamed, I guess he didn't want you to think badly of him-"

"But he told you?"

"Yes." Tommy crossed his arms. "What did he tell you exactly - about their journey I mean?"

"He said the Fireflies stopped looking for a cure - that there were a bunch of immune people and that they ran a couple of tests with Ellie and then let them go... I didn't really believe it. At first I did, I think- I trusted his word and didn't really wanna push it, but then I thought: If there were a bunch of other immune people, surely someone would've made the vaccine over the course of the twenty something years we went through - or at least the last two... but here we are."

Tommy nodded: "The reason for that is because Ellie's the only one."

"I figured that much."

"They were going to make a vaccine too, but when Joel found out it'd cost Ellie's life to make one... He uh-" Tommy took a deep breath, he was struggling to put the words together: "He didn't let them kill her."

You just stared, processing it all. You blinked a couple of times, then spoke: "He didn't let them make a vaccine."

"Remember what I told you- about Sarah?" Tommy's tone came off shaky.

You nodded and he continued: "I guess I was right... He came to care a great deal about Ellie apparently. Probably felt like he was with Sarah again while travelling with her, so..."

You didn't know how to feel - the only two solid thoughts in your mind clashed agaisnt one another in a great battle:

I can't believe he was selfish enough to rob humanity of it's only chance at survival.

Versus,

I understand. I probably would've done the same thing if I were him. Probably.

"Does Ellie know?" You breathed, feeling a little dizzy.

"No."

You gulped and looked down, guilt washing over you like a tidal wave: "Have you... I mean, is the doctor-"

"He's dead," Tommy murmured. "We don't know if there's anyone else out there who could make a vaccine out of her."

You were actually struggling to breathe at this point, looking around in a panicked state: "You need to tell Ellie."

"No, (Y/N)," Tommy spoke in a clear and strict tone. You were about to argue, but he added: "It's not our place to tell her... Joel asked for this, he is gonna be the one to tell her."

You were breathing through your mouth with a grave and distressed look on your face, staring at Tommy: "Please, (Y/N). She can't know."

You knew that was the end of conversation, so you laid down and tried to calm your breathing, closing your eyes and interrupting Tommy when he tried to ask if you needed help: "Just leave, Tommy."

You didn't see it, but he nodded and got up, letting you fall into a long sleep.

----

You had a lot of visitors for five long days, but neither of the Miller Brothers paid you a visit in that period of time. Well, Tommy showed up briefly with Maria from time to time but you weren't upset with him and it took him three days to understand, after reassuring him.

Ellie visited the most: Twice a day - once before patrol (usually in the morning) and once after. When she didn't have any chores, she'd visit you at night as well. You mostly talked about the other kids in town she was friends with, she'd treat you like a journal and vent or rant to you, which you really valued and appreciated ever since you found out about what Joel had done.

One morning she had asked about you and Joel, after a long time of not asking.

"So..." Her arms were crossed while she sat by your bed, her guitar against the desk on the other side of the room. "You and Joel... Have you guys figured things out yet?"

"He hasn't visited me in four days," You groaned, mood going down almost instantly when you remembered how he left you with Tommy five days ago. "I don't want him to... I want to talk to him when my healing processes, but it doesn't."

"How do you mean?" Ellie gave you a quizzical look.

"Katherine said some of the wounds she pointed out would turn some other colour and that a few things I'm feeling around my body would go away by this time, but they haven't. It's been almost a week and I'm not healing."

"You were beaten up pretty badly, (Y/N)," Ellie tried to look for an explanation to relax you. "Katherine did say it'd take some time."

You remained quiet for a moment, looked down, then spoke: "Five more days and you'll see what I'm talking about."

Ellie was confused and didn't know what to say, so you continued: "I've had bruises worse than this," You pointed at your half swollen eye. "Even they healed quicker than this."

There was an awkward silence, the realisation of Joel not visiting you a hard punch in the gut. As much as you weren't ready to confront him with your exhausted state, you still loved him and you wondered about his wellbeing. You felt like a five year old child crossing her arms and pouting while stomping her foot aggressively on the ground when she's denied a lollipop. You wanted to cry like the said child and hammer your fists against Joel's chest without hurting him. You wanted to do so many things, confronting and forgiving your lover being the first and foremost, but you just weren't ready. You weren't ready and you were frustrated and angry - traumatised and stressed and depressed, you wanted at least one of these to ease up a little but most importantly you didn't want to be on pain relievers anymore. You were asleep most of the day and didn't want to talk to anyone at the times where you weren't, except for Ellie really.

You closed your eyes and sighed, tears forcing their way out of your closed eyelids and dropping on the sheets: "Els?"

"I'm here," Ellie replied equally quietly.

"Will you sing me to sleep, darling?" You requested, voice cracking a little as you laid down, eyes still closed.

"Of course mom," She murmured and grabbed her guitar. After settling down in her seat and thinking of what to play for a while, she started strumming her guitar:

"When does it get quiet?

Time was supposed to extinguish the desire

But the embers won't snuff out

Haunted by your smiles

The mask keeps getting heavier

One step forward, two steps back

There's a noose round my neck and the further I get

It's harder and harder to breathe

Can I find a way to cut the rope?

I've been waiting for dawn

But the light is all gone

Don't know if I'm already blind

Can I leave it all behind?"

...

Joel watched and listened through the doorway as Ellie sang to your sleeping form, not being aware of the small confrontation which was going to take place in a few hours. A sad expression was present on his daughter's face, bringing tears to his eyes as he, once again, walked away from the two of the three people he loved the most.

#joel miller #joel x reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller imagine #tlou x reader #tlou fanfic #the last of us #the last of us x reader #the last of us imagine #the last of us fanfiction

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tlou-1 · 4 years ago

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Joel Miller x Reader (Home) - Chapter 19

Chapter 19 - It’s the night of the winter dance and bonds are beginning to heal

“Do we really need to go this evening?” Joel moaned from the sofa, he had his feet rested upon the coffee table as he lowered his reading glasses to give you a stare.

“I know, I know. I wish I hadn’t said we would now that you are on patrol tomorrow but we can make a brief appearance” you shift his feet from the coffee table and gesture for him to get up and get ready. He groans and rolls his eyes before making for upstairs to changes, “Thank you” you call to him

“But I ain’t dancing” he calls back. It had become a bit of a tradition to attend the winter dances but between Joel having patrol pretty early and having to put Patrick in the nursery centre for a couple hours, you would much prefer a quiet night.

You had been searching for Patricks favourite toy, dino the dinosaur that Ellie had gave to him on his birthday. He took it everywhere with him and would refuse to leave the house tonight without it. You had searched all the cupboards, between the sofa, under the sofa. You started pulling things out of your and Joel’s jacket pockets followed by your backpacks. You were in the front pocket of a bag when you felt something cold and metal but it wasn’t in the shape of a gun, curious you pulled it out. “What the fuck?” You exclaimed as you pulled out a grenade. You scream at Joel to get down that stairs, “What’s wrong?” He calls panicked but finds you standing wide eyed with the metal explosive in your hand.

“What the hell is this doing in our house?” You shout at him, he laughs slightly and scratches the back of his head which makes you even madder. He can see the fury growing in your eyes, “It’s a dud, darlin I found it back at the firefly hospital. It’s just a dud” he says calmly taking it out of your hand and placing it back in the bag. “How do you know it is? Have yous tested it?” You ask with your arms crossed. Joel quickly tries to change the subject and get you out of the house “Come on now we don’t want to be late”.

The church looked the same as it always did for these sorts of things, a few fairy lights and what ever Christmas decorations could be found lying around, tinsel, paper chains made by the children. Joel stayed true to his word, neither of you were up for dancing and were quite happy to stick to the back of the room, Joel nursing his one drink for the evening. You were still mad at him and had shouted at him to hand that thing into Maria tomorrow.

“Neither of you going to join in tonight?” Tommy asks pointing towards the floor. You and Joel both look over towards the floor, you both clock Ellie dancing with Dina. She hadn’t spoken to either of you since Patrick’s birthday. Looking at her and Dina you could defiantly sense there was something between them, you could see Ellie always looked at Dina in that way but it was beginning to look like Dina was looking at her in the same way.

“Not tonight Tommy, you know I have got patrol first thing tomorrow” Joel brushes off his brother.

“Yeah I know cause I am going with you but you don’t see me making excuses” Tommy continued. “I got a few years on you little brother, maybe in time you will appreciate a good nights sleep” Joel dismissed him once again, an involuntary laugh escapes you causing them both to look at you.

“I am so glad my wife finds my ageing state so amusing” Joel teases crossing his arms, you are about to apologise to him when Tommy begins to insist you dance since you wouldn’t be on patrol tomorrow.

“Tommy I’d really rather not” you begin to protest and look too Joel for back up but he lifts his arms up as if he wasn’t going to get involved. You roll your eyes, plant a kiss on his temple before allowing Tommy to pull you onto the dance floor. Thankfully the song is almost over as soon as it began, that’s when you start to hear the commission.

“Just what this town needs, another loud mouthed dyke” you hear a voice yell and Ellie shouting back. You are making your way towards the situation when Joel is already in Seth’s face pushing him out of Ellie’s way.

“Hey! Get the hell out of here” He says sternly putting himself between Ellie, Dina and Seth. It wasn’t often people in Jackson saw this side of Joel these days but god he could have this look on his face that would truly frighten anybody. You are standing at his side when Maria pulls them apart to defuse the situation.

“What about them?” Seth asks trying to push back towards Joel, “How about you just worry about yourself Seth” you hiss standing firmly.

Joel eases up as soon as he leaves and turns his attention to Ellie “You all right kiddo?” He asked but before he could barely finish Ellie turns right back to him

“What is wrong with you?” She snaps. Part of you wanted to intervene but your instincts told you it was better not too, you stood behind Joel watching the scene unfold.

“He had no right-“ Joel begins and again is interrupted.

“And you do?” She asks, everyone is watching at this point and then Ellie says cruelly “I don’t need you fucking help Joel”. The words were sharp, cruel and Joel’s expression made it hard for you to watch anymore of this. Your husband looks around and notices all the eyes on him.

“Right” says quietly and turns to leave the room. You’re arm tries to brush his as he leaves to comfort him but he just keeps walking. You go to follow him but before you do you turn to Ellie quietly so no one could hear “Jesus was that really needed Ellie? He only wanted to help”.

“Joel! Slow down” you shout to him, you had been running to try and catch up with him but the snow was slowing you down. He eventually stops to let you catch up but doesn’t turn around. “Hey” you say softly reaching for his hand when you finally reach him, he goes to keep walking but you hold him back and pull at him to try and get him to look down at you. “You going to talk to me cowboy, hmm?” you question in a hushed tone. When Joel turns to look at you, you can see his glazed eyes are sorrowful and the lines around his face look deeper than normal, it was painful to see him like this. You squeeze his hand tightly, “Let’s just pick up Patrick and get home” he sighs and you both beginning walking again.

Joel carries an already sleeping Patrick in his arms all the way home. His son seemed to have calmed him down slightly and being careful not to wake him gave him something to focus on but when you got home and had put Patrick down you both sat outside on the back porch.

“Joel I don’t know what to say” you sigh as he passes you a mug of hot coffee.

“What can you say darling? She is never going to forgive me and that’s just it” he shrugs and sips his coffee. He for once just looked defeated by it, he always seemed to just keep going with the flow but for once he seemed to really think this was it for them both.

“There was no need for her to be so -“ you struggled to finish the sentence, cruel? Harsh? Unfeeling? It felt difficult to say but the looking at Joel’s face in that moment those were the words that sprung to mind.

“Why don’t you play something?” You ask him and he happily obliges giving his mind and hands something to do.

There was a creak of wood half way through the song, Joel stopped playing and you both looked to see Ellie making her way across the porch sheepishly. “Hey” Joel says softly as he sets down the guitar.

“What are yous drinking?” She asks leaning against the railing.

“Coffee” Joel replies. Ellie asks where you could have got it, it’s true it wasn’t the easiest thing to find.

“Uh, those people that came through last week. A little embarrassed as to what I had to trade to get it but it’s not bad” he explains. You gesture for Joel to go stand with her and you quietly head into the kitchen, they deserved to talk alone but you couldn’t help but listen to the conversation. There was so much quiet in between each time one of them spoke and Joel’s voice so usually confident and assertive had grown quiet, skittish even. You couldn’t deny there were a few times you wanted to go out there and chime in, explain to Ellie her life was more important than her death but you sat in your seat and took another sip of your coffee.

“If somehow the lord gave me a second chance at that moment I would do it all over again” you heard Joel say his voice more intentional. A long pause followed again, “I don’t know how I could ever forgive you for that… but I would like to try” Ellie says. You hear Joel’s breathing in and out through his nose and he swallows back his emotion “I’d like that”. His voice breaks as says goodbye to her. A few moments later you hear the back door open and close and he is standing in the door way of the kitchen. You give him a soft smile and put your hands out to him, he sets his mug down and takes them. You press a soft kiss against his knuckles and pull yourself up. You wipe away the few tears on his damp cheek, “Come on, let’s get to bed. You have an early start tomorrow”. You both slept soundly for the first time in a while.

You awaken to the noice of Joel getting ready for Patrol a few hours later, it seemed wrong to be asking him to go out after only getting a short amount of sleep.

“Sorry Darin, I didn’t mean to wake you. I was trying to be quiet” he whispered clothing the wardrobe. It made to smile slightly, Joel always tried to be quiet but a man his build, winter boots and old wooden floors were not a good combination.

“It’s alright. I just wish you could get back into bed” you say snuggling into his side of the bed, it was still warm and smelt like him. He sighed, it was obvious he would rather be in bed too, “Ill be back later, probably 10”.

“I hate patrols in winter. You be safe out there Joel Miller, hear me?” You say sternly to him, you couldn’t help but remind him every time he went out on patrol without you.

Joel makes his way to you and sits on the bed “Yes mam, always”, kisses you softy and leaves. You heard the front door close and fall asleep for a couple hours.

#the last of us #tlou fanfic #tlou joel #joel miller x reader #joel miller imagine #the last of us fanfiction #tlou part two #tlou part 2

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ozzdog12 · 4 years ago

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2020 Top 7 (and 1)

2020 am I right? We saw an insane amount of games come out and 2 brand new consoles. What a wild and weird year for gaming, and life in general. In case you are relatively new here, and to be honest that would be completely fair considering I don't post very often on Tumblr anymore, every year going on the last 4 years (on here) I have done a Top 7 (& 1) for my favorite videogames of the year. Check out 2019, 2018, & 2017. What’s wild, as I look back on my list of games that I’ve completed and played, only maybe 10 came out this year. 2020 was a huge backlog year.

Lets get on with the ‘And 1!”

Favorite Game that Didn’t Come out in 2020: Control (PS4)

Control may very well have been my 2019 Game of the Year, had I played it in 2019. I LOVED Control. I wanted to play it in 2019, but initial reports that it was a little rough on base consoles put me off until it was fixed. And Holy smokes what an insanely fun and trippy game once I finally started it. I knew within the first 20 minutes this was going to be the shit when I went down a hall, walked into a room and talked to the “janitor” left out a door behind him and the entire building had shifted. I’ve always liked Remedy games, but from a distance. Max Payne 1&2 and Alan Wake all oozed with weirdness and intrigue, but never enough for me to finish them. I missed out on Quantum Break. The story is Control is just the right amount of mind f*!$ for me and builds a universe I didn’t know I needed. It take some time to piece everything together, then everything just clicks. The game does have a weird difficulty spike when fighting bosses and the checkpoints were too far apart at times, but those were later patched. I spent an insane amount of time within the Federal Bureau of Control building and even more time after that with the Foundation and AWE DLC and it STILL wasn’t enough. I wanted more. Outside of Prey, I can’t think of another game that stuck in my brain more after I’d finished it. Control is absolutely a MUST PLAY title. In a world where everything sort’ve feels similar, Control stands out of the crowd.

Number 7: Astro’s Playroom (PS5)

I never thought in my wildest dreams that a game I had almost zero interest in playing would end up on my list of favorite games this year. Astro’s Playroom is being labeled as a ‘Tech demo’ but that feels like an insult to what it is. It’s a full fledged game and its free! I’ve paid more for less. A charming little platformer that lives and breathes the history of the Playstation. So many cool Easter eggs and references. It certainly centers its gameplay around the DualSense controller and everything it can do, but at its core, its a completely approachable and forgiving 3D platformer. I played it just to see what it was about, next thing i knew I had completed all the levels and wanted to further explore all the nooks and crannies within the game. I wanted to see everything the game had to offer and I had an absolute blast doing so. Makes me kinda wish I’d played the previous game on PSVR (I’d have to have a PSVR too)

Number 6: Spider-Man: Miles Morales (PS5)

Another quality title, albeit a spin-off, from Insomniac to add to their Spider Man universe. Gameplay felt obviously like Spider-Man, but Miles has unique abilities that made the game feel different enough, especially the cloak and stealth. I enjoyed the fact that it was short and concise. The issue with most ‘open-world’ games is that they are entirely too bloated with unnecessary filler content (I’ll get to that in a later game), something I felt the first game suffered from, but I also understand why they are there. However I could’ve use one or two more story missions to help flesh out some characters, but it wasn’t required and didn’t change my opinion one way or the other. My one BIG gripe was with Miles himself. He is an extremely smart young kid, but so incredibly naïve. Peter Parker tells him the one thing he SHOULD NOT do is tell people he is Spider-Man. I get it, that’s part of his growth, but Miles thinks he can just solve his problems by revealing his identity and it almost certainly never works out.

Number 5: The Last of Us: Part 2 (PS4)

The Last of Us Part 2 may be the most polarizing game in the history of the medium, but for the absolute wrong reasons. I’m in the minority that I very much enjoyed my experience with TLOU2, quite a bit actually. Its better in every single way over its predecessor, except the overall story. There are plenty of fair criticisms to be had about the story and various things within the game itself, but I thought the gameplay was so tight and crunchy. There were genuine moments of suspense and terror that I felt that no other game has ever given me. The entire hospital section (2nd time) was so susensful, I had to put my controller down to gther myself. Some of my favorite moments in the series I experienced with a character I wasn’t overly fond of. How many games can do that? The Last of Us Part 2 was meant to invoke emotion, not necessarily joy. I think that's what people lost along the way. Say what you will about the direction Naughty Dog has taken over the years, but you would be hard pressed to find a studio that makes games graphically better than they do. Yes, I know about their crunch culture, but this is not a place for that. I will say, the game was a tad bit too long, which is not something it typically say for a single player, narrative driven game. The pacing and the way the story was told wasn’t my favorite, but I respect what it was trying to do, even if it failed in some aspect of that, I finished the game within the week it was released. Something I RARELY ever do. I’m a father and I related with Joel a lot in TLOU, but I also recognized how wrong he was. There is a lesson to be learned. Your actions always have consequences and while he was doing what he thought was the right thing, it wasn’t his choice to make, and in doing so set up a series of events that were entirely avoidable, but again, that’s the point isn’t it?

Number 4: Grindstone (Switch)

I’m counting this as a 2020 game since it just came to the Switch this year ( less than a month ago) but its not the first time I’ve played it. Grindstone was the only reason I kept my Apple Arcade subscription and when I let it lapse, there was a void I just couldn’t fill. I bought Puzzle Quest on Switch but it just wasn't the same. Its THE perfect game for bite sized play, even though in its addictive nature, you’ll clear a few levels and an hour has passed before you know it. It has the perfect amount of depth that most ‘match’ games don't. You have different weapons, items, and outfits w/perks to use and experiment with to keep it fresh. I went months without playing my Switch and when this was announced in August, I couldn’t wait! Sadly, I had to wait 3 months, but since then I have spent so much time on the Switch. It gave me a reason to play it again. The art style and humour is great. The variety of enemies and challenge is just right. I can’t recommend it enough. Seriously, check this game out!

Number 3: Doom Eternal (Xbox One)

I will be the first to tell you, I did not like Doom (2016). I found it extremely boring and trite. I understood what Doom(2016) was doing and it succeeded, maybe too much. Nostalgia is a helluva thing. So in saying that, I was mildly interested in Doom Eternal. Doom Eternal is nothing like 2016 outside of it being a Doom game that connects to the rest of them (& also being a sequel to 2016). The mechanics are drastically different with more platforming (for better or worse). Eternal is challenging, at times very hard, especially early on. Eternal has no respect for its players, in a weirdly good way. It laughs at how you’ve played FPS before this one and WILL MAKE you play it its way, not your way. Yes, you point and shoot, but ammo is scare and you MUST use everything in your arsenal. No more using just 2 guns for the whole game. The enemies are relentless. Sometimes you have to pause and take a breath after a battle because you go a 100 mph for the whole fight. You have to continuously move or you die. There is an enticing rhythm to it. I categorize Eternal as ‘Blood Ballet’. Its a game where when your feeling it, much like a rhythm game, you get in the zone and there is no stopping demons from getting slayed. Surprisingly, unlike most games in the genre, it seemed to get easier (sans one extremely frustrating platforming section late in the game) the longer you played it. Was that a testament that I ‘learned’ the Eternal way or it truly did get easier? I don’t know, but the final Boss(es) were....easy.. I had more problems and deaths within the first 4 hours than I did the final 8-9 hours. The multiplayer was also surprisingly fun. The older I get, the less interested I am in multiplayer, but I found myself coming back for more for a good month or so.

Number 2: Gears Tactics (Xbox One)

As 2020 comes to a close, I came to a stunning realization. I might be a bigger Gears of War fan than I had previously thought. Don’t get me wrong. I love Gears, but I seem to love Gears more than I thought. I'm way more invested into the lore than I recall. Anyways, Gears Tactics is everything XCOM 2 SHOULD’VE been. Not only does Gears Tactics utilize the Overwatch action, its makes it EXTREMELY important. The story revolves around the father of Kait Diaz, Gabe and a ragtag group of mostly random soldiers to take down Ukkon. Anyone who is remotely interested in the Gears universe will love the story and references. The gameplay is just so damn satisfying. The bosses are very challenging and different. I actually had to change my strategy to finish the final boss. I experimented with a totally different style of class and was rewarded for it. The post game stuff is also aplenty. This game scratched a VERY specific itch for me and I’m itchy to jump back in. I’m glad this came to Xbox One because I’m current computer could not run it.

Number 1: Ghost of Tsushima (PS4)

I have a very odd relationship with massive open world games. I love them, but I get very burnt out on them. They all have a relatively same-y formula and are often populated with bloat. GoT does have some of that but to its advantage, its not very populated, in a good way. One of the things that I really appreciated about GoT and its side quest is most of them felt meaningful. The thing that really stood out to me about GoT is the absolutely satisfying combat. It just feels SO GOOD. It requires timing and patience. There are different fighting styles for different enemies and even the armor you wear is more than just cosmetic. The combat is so fun and satisfying that I was immediately excited when they announced Legends, a multiplayer add on, for free. Its so much fun and is a blast to play with a group of friends. I’m sporadically still playing the Legends mode. I initially wanted to play the game in ‘Kurosawa’ mode but I am glad I didn’t because the game, even on the PS4 is stunning, and on the upgrade on PS5 is jaw-droppingly smooth. I did play the entire game in Japanese with English subtitles. I still don't know what Jin’s English voice sounds like. GoT does a good job a drip feeding you new abilities and things to keep things fresh. I love stealth and once I unlocked it, I spent the majority of every battle taking out as many enemies as I could while in stealth mode. Ghost of Tsushima does a lot of things very well, that the few things it doesn’t can be easily overlooked.

#videogames #control #grindstone #tlou #doom eternal #gears tactics #ghost of tsushima #ps4 #ps5 #xbox one #switch #nintendo switch #playstation4 #GOTY #spiderman #astro playroom

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amarabliss · 5 years ago

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Keep’em - 4 (Joel Miller/Reader)

My love was reignited so I will indulge you with more of this for a sec...

Little blurbs of traveling with Joel Miller and Ellie from The Last of Us…

Part One Part Two Part Three

Joel walked in slowly looking at you laying on the infirmary bed. You were so pale, hooked up to oxygen and a heart monitor, while blood dripped from a bag into your arm. It was too close…too damn close….

He sat down taking your hand in his, “You can’t leave me…alright? I know I’m a cradle robber…you said it yourself, but I don’t care…I’ve made it this far to know you…and I wanna…”

He choked up putting a hand over his eyes, “I wanna tell you…to your face…eyes wide open how it all is going to be from this point on.”

He wiped his hand over his face before looking at you again, “You scared the shit out of me you know…I thought for sure…dammit…”

He brought your hand up to his mouth kissing your cold fingers over and over before pressing the back of your hand against his cheek. He shut his eyes just resting a moment in your presence, happy that you were at least still breathing.

His eyes snapped opened to the feeling of your fingers squeezing his hand. He squeezed back looking at your face, “Lemme know you hear me…”

You squeezed his hand again and he felt his heart leap for joy as he let out a relieved sound, “Yer okay…yer safe and jest need to rest…”

You didn’t’ open your eyes as you whispered, “…socks…”

He let out a laugh nodding a little, “I’ll see if you’re allowed to take them off. Jest rest now…”

*************************************

“Ellie…I’m talking to you.” You frowned a little as you heard Joel talking to the poor girl as you stepped into an abandoned RV. She was was having a hard time still. You didn’t blame her, being held by a psychotic cannibal did that to you.

“Hm…oh sorry…” You heard her say quietly. It made your heart hurt and reminded that this intensely strong little girl was still just that…a little girl… No fourteen year old should have to have the weight of the world on their shoulders like this.

“You’ve been awfully quiet…” He was so worried about her. He kept asking you for advice, to which you replied you had none. You’d never worked with kids…and you never had any…despite that it was nice to know he cared enough to include you.

“Yeah…sorry…just thinking…” Ellie told him quietly before letting out some air paste her lips, “We should keep going…we’re almost there.”

Joel let out a big sigh as you stepped out of the RV holding up a first aid kit you’d found, “I’m worried about her…”

“Me too.”You turned around as he took the kit to put in your bag, “Joel…I’ve got a bad feeling about all of this…”

“What do you mean?” His eyes widened as you looked over to Ellie. She was staring at a mural on the wall, no doubt wondering if she’d ever get to see the animals the zoo had offered once.

You turned around to face him, and your voice came out strained, “Let’s just go…take Ellie back to Jackson and be done…”

He let out another sigh before scratching the back of his head, “I…I feel the same…but it’s gotta be up to her. Ellie…she’s gotta make up her own mind about it.”

“She’s fourteen…” You readjusted your backpack, “she shouldn’t have to make these decisions.”

*************************************

“Ellie!” You heard Joel shouting as you surfaced from the water. You coughed dragging yourself up to the bank. When you lifted your head you saw Joel doing chest compressions on the girl, “Come on baby girl…breathe for me…breathe…”

You felt yourself getting cold not because of the water but because of the fear you were feeling of losing someone so precious to you. Images of her reading from that god-awful pun book popped into your head. You’d give anything to hear her tell you one now.

You noticed movement and stood to your feet, “Stay back!”

Your eyes darted back and forth between the dozen soldiers that were coming toward you. They kept their guns up as Joel glanced up, “She’s not breathing!”

“Stay back! We’re not a threat! We’re not infected!” You shouted at them stepping in front of Joel and Ellie, “Get back!”

“Get on the ground! Get on the ground!” They began shouting at you. You could still hear Joel behind you begging Ellie to wake up. Overwhelmed you glanced back and was quickly overtaken by two guards.

“Joel!” You shouted back as they hit him in the head, “Stop we’re here for the fireflies!”

One of them snapped their head back to you making the connection, “Stop! Save the girl! It’s Ellie!”

“Shit…” They let you go and started pulling out gear from their pack. You started to go forward and they raised their hand, “Stay back…we got it.”

*************************************

You sat next to the hospital bed staring at Joel still passed out in the bed. Clearly he needed the rest, and you had definitely had thought about knocking him out yourself sometimes. You stole another glance to Marlene. Still unmoving…

“I can I see Ellie?” You sat back looking at her fully, “She has to be up by know…”

“Believe me if she was I would’ve been at her side already.” Marlene spat back at you, “You don’t need to worry about her anymore. She’s under my care…”

You felt your face twitch and was about to speak when Joel started to move, “Joel…take it easy…”

“Mm…Ellie…” He looked at you worry racing through his eyes.

“She’s okay…we revived her…” You helped him sit up.

“She’s being prepped for surgery…” You looked back at her and instantly Marlene knew she fucked up, “We had to move quickly…”

“You said she was resting…” You practically growled at her.

“You don’t need to worry anymore…” Marlene repeated.

“I worry…when can I see her?” Joel questioned her. It was obvious when he squeezed your hand that he was not oblivious to Marlene’s true intent.

*************************************

“Put her in the car Joel…” You held the gun up toward Marlene as she took another step, “Don’t be stupid…”

“You can't save her. Even if you get out of here, then what? How long before she's torn to pieces by a pack of Clickers? That is, if she hasn't been raped and murdered first?” Marlene shook her head as Joel began to walk, she started to follow and you stepped in the way.

“That ain’t for you to decide…” Joel shook his head as he stepped carefully away.

Marlene raised her voice getting Joel to stop, “It's what she'd want. And you know it. You can still do the right thing here. She won't feel anything.”

“Joel…” You knew if you had to, you’d fight him too. There wasn’t a guarantee that the procedure would work.

“Joel listen to me…” The shot rang out and you watched Marlene fall to the ground. You looked at Joel seeing the smoking gun in his hand.

He took a step toward Marlene and you stepped in front of him, “Take care of Ellie…”

He stared into your eyes before nodding and running toward a car. You turned back to Marlene, “Let me go…please…”

You knelt down next to her staring her into her eyes, “I love that man…and that little girl…you tried to have him killed and definitely were going to kill her…do you really think I’d let you go?”

“Ellie…would…” You looked away for a moment as she begged, “Please…I won’t come after you…”

“Yeah…sometimes kids don’t know who to trust…” You looked back to her sadly shaking her head, “And yet…they almost always will trust adults…”

You shot her once making it painless before stand up and walking toward the running car. You got into the passenger side not speaking as Joel drove out of the parking garage away from this hell hole of a city…

Once they made it to the highway, getting enough distance to feel safe, you spoke quietly, “…what do we tell her?”

“…I…” He took in a deep breath shaking his head, “…there isn’t a cure.”

You looked at him seeing the pain on his face, “…there wasn’t a guarantee it would work. It’s not a lie.”

He looked at you frowning, “They had other options…other kids like her…”

You both hashed it out for a while until the story was your new truth. When Ellie finally woke up you felt your stomach drop as Joel told her, “We found the Fireflies. Turns out, there's a whole lot more like you, Ellie. People that are immune. It's dozens actually. Ain't done a damn bit of good neither. They've actually st- They've stopped looking for a cure. I'm taking us home.”

You turned in your seat to look at her seeing how heartbroken she was, “I’m sorry, Ellie…”

“…yeah…” She frowned laying down facing away from them.

You looked at Joel frowning. He took in a deep breath before he reached over taking your hand in his. At least the two of you didn’t have to bear it alone…

*************************************

You had stopped for potential supplies…it had turned into a fire fight…

You shot up gasping for air before cringing grabbing your neck as pain rippled through your body. Warm hand fell onto your shoulder easing you back down, “Take it easy, Y/N…you’ll rip your stiches.”

“Tommy?” You stared at him as you fell back, “What happened?”

He looked at you with a small smile, “You did what I asked…can’t thank you enough. Seems like it might’uh cost you a bit more then I anticipated.”

“In the world we live in…I’m sure could have been in worst situations…” You shut your eyes, “Joel and Ellie?”

“Ellie is helping out around town…Joel…” Tommy sighed, “Well he finally went to sleep yesterday and hasn’t moved since. Seems like he was stressed…”

“When isn’t he…” You smirked a little reaching up to your neck wincing.

“Leave it alone…” Tommy smacked your hand.

“It itches!” You growled at him opening your eyes. They moved to movement behind him, “Ellie?”

She slowly stepped inside looking at you, “Hi…”

Tommy smiled waving her over, “Will you sit her a minute while I get doc and make sure she don’t do nothin’ stupid?”

“Yes sir!” Ellie smiled at him as he walked out. She turned back to you, “So…how ya feelin’?”

“About how you think…” You smiled at her seeing her stand a bit away, “What’s up kiddo?”

Her eyes darted away as she picked at her thumbnail, “It’s nothing…it can wait tell you and Joel are feeling better.”

“Ellie…” You reached your hand out to her making her finally come closer, “What’s wrong?”

She sighed, “I asked Joel…and he said…He said everything that you both said about the Fireflies was real…and I just…I don’t know…”

“Ellie look at me.” You watched her lift her head looking to your eyes, “That place couldn’t do anything for you or the world…they tried and they failed…there was never any guarantees. Maybe one day…Hopefully one day…that will change.”

You watched her tear up nodding slowly, “Okay…”

You squeezed her hand giving her a smile, “Did you meet Dina and her crew yet?”

“Yeah, Jesse and Emily too…they seem cool…I guess…” You smiled as she started to talk about her day. Everything…was finally beginning to settle…and you wondered if it was a good thing.

You hoped it was a good thing…

#the last of us #tlou #the last of us imagine #joel miller #joel miller/reader #joel miller reader #joel and ellie #joel miller imagine #tommy miller #tlou imagine #keep'em

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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 4 years ago

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Lost Hope (Favored Ones, Part 27.)

Series description: Many things were surely fucked up in the year 2038, but no-one ever told anyone how all of it went down. What happened before a group of people left for Seattle to handle personal matters? Why did one girl refuse to leave all of it be? And why there were so many dead in the end?

Quote for the chapter: "Don’t go chasing waterfalls...” - TLC

For those who might not catch my drift: chasing waterfalls = chasing the reader.

Part summary: Coming terms with yourself is something that is important. It’s something that you need to do in order to become the better version of yourself. Abby almost finished the process of coming to terms with all the things that were happening around her, something else made her thirst for revenge wake up again.

A/N: This chapter is from A B B Y ‘ S P O V. Be aware of that. I won’t be sorry for it, I learned to understand and to love Abby, even if I was against her when I played the game. Lev is an amazing character too. And now Mel is alive, there’s a possibility to change how Abby’s story will continue from this point.

Warnings: Depiction of torture, bone breaking, depiciton of blood and manslaughter, anxiety, rage, anger, a bit of fluff at the end.

Word count: 4.8 K

Tagging: @nemodoren @xxgoldenhour @missdictatorme @davnwillcome @pickleriiick @jodiereedus22 @gladiosamicitias @tamkashi @eternallyvenus @avengerssstuff @fangirl-inthe-us @avery-miller @mikah-writes @mad-hatter-98 @sadiaafrin99 @flavorishy @gabymiller

Series master list: H E R E

Joel Miller’s playlist for the bonfire occasions: H E R E

Youtube playlists: JACKSON DAYS | SEATTLE DAYS

Seattle, day three - evening:

The sea seemed to be serene and calm at the time their boat had taken off, it was quiet and the breeze was cold. This peaceful feeling could be simply also affected by everything they've been through so far. Even from the proximity they currently were from the island, they could still see Haven slowly burning down to the ground. Sometimes, the woman operating the boat would swear that she could hear the people screaming and guns firing. It was just the ghost of the sacred place haunting her brain, yet it was still there.

Lev, for the first half of an hour on the sea, was clinging onto the jacket Abby landed him. Then, the serene and gentle moves of the ocean made him fall asleep. The boy was now pressed into the small area between Abby's ankles, napping before they'd be back to the aquarium. The kid must've been exhausted - both emotionally and physically. That kid, who was now safely laying there squeezed into the tightest space he shouldn't be even able to fit, had killed his mother in self-defense. That kid watched his sister being shot to pieces. And he made it even though the despair, pain, and exhaustion.

It was weird to know that now, they were safe. No-one was after them. And as soon as they'd hit the aquarium, Lev, Owen, and Mel were about to leave Seattle for good in the search for the fireflies of Santa Barbara. Owen was asking Abby to join them while Melanie, with all the, despise she carried inside, had told her that once she, her boyfriend, and that Scars kids will leave Seattle, she will never want to see her goddamned face again. But now, things could change and maybe, for Lev, Abby could leave too.

That night, she had seen her family and friends being killed in the passion of the fight. For those who kids, she stood up to the only everlasting authority she blindly followed for the last couple of years - and Isaac was now killed, his corpse was rotting somewhere on the Seraphites island and Abby hoped that his body would be eaten by some wild animals to end his life in the shame he deserved. The time of WLF was coming to a sure end.

Abby's problem with the situation was as follows: soldiers were seemingly remorse-less characters lead by their general, Isaac for this instance, who just did what they were told. And for the most part, it was true. Yet, honestly, nothing hit Abby as personally as walking through the Seraphite settlement, following Lev's sister around. She, and the other WLFs, were used to seeing the best out of the best, the best warriors the Scars were able to train. And this hit different. These weren't the soldiers anywhere in sight - these were women and children, even men and other farmers who were not trained in combat - innocent people who were barely able to protect themselves were massacred ever since the WLF attack was started. That wasn't right at all. The things WLF has done on the island were wrong in every way possible.

It was all based around the battle of Seattle, which was going on for years now with occasional pauses, of course. Neither of the sides were good or bad in the situation. It was just a matter of habit - one side attacked, the other attacked back. One side overstepped the boundaries, the other reacted to this. It was this way for more than five years. Seattle was in this war ever before the time Abby and her friends arrived. And for that, she had never seen the true meaning of peaceful time in the city.

Abby wasn't looking around - the only things she saw were the ones directly in front of her eyes. She wasn't able to look behind her orders, she never needed to think about what she was doing, she just did what she was told. Until the moment she entered Jackson - and until the moment she met Lev and Yara. Jackson was a wild experience on its own.

Their small family was broken way before Jackson - Owen and Mel were now dating. And given the history of Abby and Owen, he was seeing her less and less. The final nail in the coffin being Mel's pregnancy. Nora and Whitney were taking every mission they could just to avoid her, the hospital being the last place Abby would ever see them. This left Manny being the last friend who remained by her side after Jackson was done. In the last few days, they were brought together after a long time in one way or another, but all Abby could thank was a weird coincidence of chances.

And there, there were the two siblings Abby met on her journey - Yara and Lev. At the moment, Abby had anyone except Lev - Yara was shot and killed by Abby's people during their escape from the island. It didn't matter that Abby tried to tell everyone about the kids not being any kind of threat to their cause. But it didn't matter - Yara was shot. In answer, Abby shot back at Isaac. Now, he was dead for real. She heard one of the radio communications over the WLF channel. She had done everything for the boy. Abby quite literally had sacrificed her whole known world for a boy she barely knew.

Even though all of what happened, Abby felt that every turn she made during their way revealing over the last three days, that every word and every choice set her on the right path. Now, maybe, she could get on the boat with Lev, Mel, and Owen, setting on her way to find the Fireflies again.

There was still the whole 'hunt Joel Miller down' matter. Abby was aware of the loose threads and unfinished business there was. It felt very unsatisfying, knowing she will most likely never get her revenge on the man. Her brain accepted the information some time ago. There was no climax to the whole hunt started by a piece of information given to her by an old Firefly named Eugene. The last four years were coming in vain. Was it even worth it at that point? Her family was broken to pieces, she had a kid to protect and once Lev leaves with Mel and Owen, she won't probably have any use no more. Well, if that would happen, she would travel back to Jackson. She would try to find Joel again. And Abby knew that once the guards on the gates will see her in the distance, she will be dead in the next minute.

It was more or less about coming to terms with how things were now. Before the mission to Jackson, she was sure that her life is already over. And she was sure that the only thing having the power to start it again was the murder of Joel Miller. The revenge murder if you will. That opinion was changed the moment she accepted Lev and Yara as her people. These two were just kids. Fucking kids in this fucked up world. And when Abby could keep them safe, why wouldn't she keep them safe? Joel Miller killed her dad and this was something she couldn't come around - but even if the old man wasn't dead, Abby tried to reconsider the things happening in the last few weeks, more importantly over the last two days.

Now, she wasn't out solely to revenge her father. She now had someone to protect. There was someone she needed to stay put for. It was a small family, it was sure as hell a broken one, but it was her family. No matter what Joel fucking Miller was doing, he was her last priority now. To be honest, Abby was just glad she's alive. And she'd be even more glad once she'll finally get out of Seattle - one way, on Owen's boat, or another, getting killed by the Jackson citizens. Abby was ready.

With the last remnants of her energy, she made sure the boat stays put before she started to wake Lev up. - “Hey, sleepyhead. Wake up.” - She whispered with a soft smile, nudging Lev’s shoulder as the boy started to massage his eyes. - “We’re at the aquarium. Come on. Let’s get dry.” - Abby arched her eyebrows, showing Lev another assuring smile. All she was trying to do was to keep Lev calm for now.

For sure, the boy will be freaking out for one way or another, but they didn’t have time for panic attacks at the moment. Slowly, they both walked back to the aquarium's back entrance, beaten up like two dogs. And Abby was fine with that. They were finally safe inside the building.

With a yawn, she was about to unlock the door leading to the improvised surgeon room, only to be met by the resistance of the wooden door, which never had happened before. Naturally, it piqued her interest. She tried to press harder, but it didn't lead anywhere. Mentioning for Lev to hide behind the corner, Abby started to smash her way inside. It took a few big blows with her shoulder before the door moved at least an inch. After a while, the barricade finally eased and fell on the ground. It was the damn ventilation shaft. Why in the hell had this fallen on the ground? Just as she furrowed upon thinking about the shaft, Lev noticed something else. His palm tugged Abby's top as his head motioned in the direction of a dead dog laying on the ground.

"Is that..." - Lev whispered with fear in his voice, walking closer to the animal. He was afraid of the WLF dogs ever since he had seen the first one. Why? These dogs were trained as weapons. WLF trained the animals to sniff unknown human scents, reacting to it in a matter of seconds - they tracked the enemies down, attacking immediately. And honestly, dogs were one of the most useful combat advances aside from grenades they had come up with. But when Lev became Mel and Owen's friend, as much as he became Abby's friend, they tried to show him that the dogs weren't just murderous animals. Alice, the German shepherd Mel was treasuring a lot, was laying there, stabbed to death.

"Yea." - Abby said simply, walking to the dog. Someone else was in the aquarium. Lev saw the act of Abby kneeling down to the dog as a goodbye ceremony. But this wasn't the situation in which Abby was showing her grief for the animal. Gently, she pulled her palm down under the dog's fur to feel the warmth of the body. To feel it a bit better, she closed her eyes, realizing that the body is almost cold. Whoever had infiltrated the aquarium was there a long time ago.

And given the dog was most likely stabbed to avoid attracting the attention of Mel and Owen, these two were in danger too. Abby gulped with her mouth dry, realizing that maybe, they arrived into the aquarium too late. Quietly, Abby tiptoed to the surgeon room, watching if the room is safe to enter before walking in to find herself some weapon. - "You stay behind me, okay?" - Abby looked the boy into his eyes, having a serious expression on her face.

"I want to help." - Lev rebelled against Abby's demand, but the woman just rolled her eyes. - "You will keep the watch over the perimeter with your bow. You see something we don't know, you hold them at gunpoint, you shoot, okay?" - Abby put her palm on the boy's shoulder, smoothing it. Yeah, he was good with a bow, and plus, she felt that he'll be safer behind her back. Nothing would get to Lev without it going through her first. With that, Lev felt some sort of usefulness, calming down.

Both of them took a second to adjust to the surroundings, peaking both their senses, preparing for whoever is awaiting them deeper inside the aquarium. When they felt ready, they moved to other rooms - they slowly searched every room. They walked through the improvised bedroom, the bathroom, some supply cabinets before they were about to enter the big room with a whale hanging from the ceiling. An iron, watery stench hit Abby's nose. It was a smell she knew perfectly - the cold smell of blood.

For a moment, she couldn't find the source. And she barely had the time to find it - because another human sped up against her, trying to take her down. Abby almost tried to stab the woman but stopped herself when she realized the woman's pregnant. The woman was Melanie. Mel who was pretty obviously freaked out. Abby stepped aside from the crying woman and pointed her palm towards Lev, letting him know that it's okay and that he should put his bow down.

One quick glance over was all to give Abby a bad gut feeling. Melanie was there, freaked out, tired out because of the hysteric crying. The gut feeling was telling Abby that she knows exactly from whom the blood stench is coming from. Yet at the moment, she had to deal with hysteric Melanie.

"It's me, hey, I'm here." - Abby tried to fidgeting, significantly smaller woman. But Melanie pushed her off while pointing her finger at Abby.

"Who the fuck you think you are?" - Melanie asked with her voice raspy from the crying, her widened eyes going from Lev to Abby and the other way around. - "This is on you, on both of you." - Mel straightened up. Abby didn't have any idea about what Melanie was talking about, but she straightened up, reminding the woman of her height.

"Every fucking time I hear 'Abby has a problem', I know it is going to bite me in my ass. And guess what, Abigail. This time, it bit everyone in the ass. Manny's dead, Nora's dead, Leah's dead, Whitney was murdered... And I can continue." - Melanie walked in a small circle, entwining her fingers in her short hair. - "Or did you get my point? Huh?" - Again, Mel pushed Abby. This time, she pushed her so hard, that Abby slipped and fell down.

"I don't know what you're talking about..." - "The whole fucking Jackson trip. That's what I'm talking about." - Melanie took in a deep breath. Lev had sat down a bit far away from them, just listening to their fight. On Abby's body language, there could be seen that her throat had clinched a bit. Jackson? How would all of this tie to Jackson? And... How could she fucking know that all of these people were killed? Sure, these people were in Jackson, but also could be just a coincidence. These people could be in a bad place at a bad time. That was all. The whole mystery.

"You were so focused on yourself that you ignored everything that was going on, weren't you? Am I even surprised?" - "Can you just fucking tell me what you're on about?" - Abby fired back, prooving Mel's point perfectly. She didn't even know that all of their friends were getting killed, she didn't know what was happening with her own fucking people. Funny. - "The girl from Jackson is here, taking out every last one of us. It's like waiting for her to check your name on the list while she stands above your corpse. And... And guess what, Abby, she's after you. And she isn't alone." - Melanie giggled. It wasn't an amused giggle. It was a sound full of despair and fear, it was a borderline cry for help.

"Why are you alive then? She's here for me, not for all the others. Maybe... Maybe she wasn't the one who killed the rest. Because you're alive, so..." - Just when Mel looked into her eyes, Abby connected the two dots. You spared Melanie's life because you took another one. At that, Abby's lungs stopped to work. She was gasping for air, turning on her side, when she saw the view hidden behind the table. She couldn't see Owen, she could see gallons of blood on the ground.

"And how do I know? She told me. She looked me dead in the eyes and told me she's here for you. And this, my dear, I think is your last stop. Because there are at least three people somewhere out there in Seattle, looking for you. And one of them is your man, Joel fucking Miller." - Melanie grinned and threw the map to Abby's legs. - "I took you a little souvenir so you can finish your suicidal mission once and for all. I'll take Lev with me and we're leaving. And you're... You're not welcomed." - Melanie hissed, looking at the boy. Abby was falling deeper and deeper into the initial shock, realizing that indeed, every word Melanie had said was true.

This was her fault. Everything was her fault. Which was pretty ironic, given the circumstances leading to this moment. Just an hour ago, Abby allowed herself to let the thing go. After four years of the rage eating her alive, she, for the first time, saw the hope around her. There was Lev for whom she wanted to do better than she was doing up to that point. Abby needed to be better for the new family she found. Just for this to happen, bringing the whole family dynamic to the ground. Joel Miller, once again, was the source of her problems.

"Mel, no, please." - Lev picked himself up, trying to plead for her taking Abby with them. But the more Abby watched the blood, the more she realized this wasn't a thing she could let go. It would find her anywhere. It would haunt her down any time. Melanie shook her head, telling Lev what she wanted to without words. - "Then I'm going with her." - Lev said and backed to Abby, who was still panicking and laying on the floor.

"You'll get yourself killed, kid. You're not going anywhere. End of the story." - Melanie told the boy and left to the upper quarters, slowly smoothing her belly. Lev was still standing there, watching as Abigail picker herself up, walking to the dead body. Shivers were running up her spine and cold sweat slowly leaked down her back. First, she saw the dried footprints in the blood and the pipe which was covered in not only blood but in the rest of what seemed to be Owen's brain. Trying to brace yourself for what she was about to see was dumb. At the moment she saw what that Jackson girl had done to him, Abby just threw up on the ground next to him. It was more or less only water, but there were things coming out of her. Melanie was right. This was all Abby's doing.

"That fucking bitch." - She muttered out, sitting on the other side, looking at the dead body. When they've captured you, you were sure one of the toughest nuts to crack. But if she'd suspect someone coming after her, it would be the Tommy man who they captured alongside you. Which happened. The Tommy man shot Manny in his face. But you? Such a fragile, scared girl? No. Abby would never suspect you'd be able to do such bullshit. She wouldn't ever think that there was a scenario in which you'd track her down, killing her friends one by one until you'd bump into her.

"Do you... Do you want to follow her?" - Lev asked silently, sitting next to her on the ground. It wasn't close enough to disrupt her personal space, but close enough to reassure her that he's there. Next to her, ready to go after the people he didn't know, fighting for a cause that didn't include him at all. Now, she was his people. In fact, she was everything that Lev was left with. And if Mel thought he'd leave Abby behind just like that, she was naïve, to say the least.

"This has nothing to do with you, kid." - "She, whoever she is, killed one of my friends. Now, it has something to do with me. I'm a part of this now." - Lev told Abby back with his head clear. This one kid was courageous. And ready for another battle. Of which Abby was hella sure. But even if she chuckled, looking down on her palms, she didn't want the kid to come. - "Listen. This... This is very personal to me. This is something that drags for the last couple of years. And it involves me, my family and something terrible. The only one who can put end to all of this is me. And I won't let you drag yourself into shit that doesn't involve you. I want you safe." - "Abby..." - "It makes me strong. You're my people now. Even Mel is... And I need to keep you both safe." - Abby whispered with tears of anger in her eyes, catching Lev's hand to hold it for a moment. She didn't know that Mel was standing above them, listening to every word that was said.

No matter what happened in the aquarium, no matter what the relationship she had with Abby and what she thought about her... This was everyone's cause now. Most importantly, you didn't seem to be the type to leave the things behind. Sure, now, you felt something resembling a closure after killing Owen. But how much time would pass before you'd feel the need to find Abby again? To find Mel and her baby? The time would come.

For that, it would be better to track you down when they had the chance, ending all of this for good. And even if Melanie hated Abby with everything she got now... Abby was right. Melanie was now her people - just like Abby was hers. No matter how she'd try to fight it, Mel didn't want to see the woman get killed because of the heat regarding Abby's stupidity. It didn't feel right to send Abby on a suicidal mission. This needed closure. Plus, honestly, Melanie needed Abby around once the baby would be born. She, the baby, and Lev needed a guardian. A literal watchdog.

"She's out of her mind." - Mel said silently, making both the people sitting on the ground looking up to her, standing in front of the quarters. - "I don't know what the girl was through, but she was off. It was like a blackout or something. She's dangerous. I'm terrified of her." - Mel said honestly, walking the stairs down. - "Can you go up and pack some things for me?" - Melanie smiled at Lev. Abby looked at the boy, sending him off upstairs. - "And you, come here. I don't wanna look at the..." - Melanie breathed out, still being shaken by what happened.

Mel wasn't over it at all, not a fucking chance. Her partner was brutally murdered. And she witnessed every second of it. Every. Fucking. Second. Yet... This world didn't offer them enough time to seek closure within themself, it didn't give them the time to grieve properly. Not until everything was said and done. Abby nodded at the pregnant woman's request, picking herself up from the ground.

"Listen." - Mel said quietly while leading Abby through the aquarium's interior. - "You're a fucking selfish asshole and dear Lord, I just want to punch you sometimes. And what happened between you and Owen at the boat last night peaked all of those feelings. But... How do you say it? Even if I didn't choose it voluntarily, you're now my people. That's something I have to deal with and it will take months, maybe years. But the fact is that I need you because I cant take care of myself out there once the baby will be born. This concludes in a fact - I can't let you get yourself killed while going after these people." - She stopped, looking Abby in the eyes. And with an expression showing gratefulness, Abby smiled back at her. - "We're not friends, at least not for now. Not a fucking a chance. But we're coming after them together because I'm scared of them coming back for us." - Melanie whispered. And without anything foreshadowing it, Abby hugged her, finally starting to cry into Mel's clothes.

There was too much pressure for Abby to handle - you and your people, Owen's death, Yara's murder, the whole conflict at the island proving to her as a bunch fo brainwashing lies which Isaac spoonfeed each of them, resolving in everyone's death. Melanie's cold honestly was something Abby needed bad. Melanie didn't like her, not at that point, and she was straightforward about it. At least someone was honest with Abby the whole fucking time.

"They will pay. Every last one of them. I swear." - Abby let Melanie go, carefully maneuvering her palms around Melanie's belly. - "That's the spirit." - Melanie grinned back. This was noticeably out of Mel's character. Abby honestly never seen her wishing death upon anyone except the Scars - which was excusable because the foundation in that behavior was based on Isaac's brainwashing program. Now, she was willingly after someone else, who was just a part of Abby's fuckery. Yet as Lev told Abby, this was now Melanie's cause too. The woman had the right to feel outraged towards the Jacksoners at that point. They killed her baby daddy.

No-one was left behind. Abby, after observing the map, knew the theatre which was marked as the 'hideout'. She knew precisely where the location was. Each of them set on the way during a stormy night, clothed up to stay warm against the stormy weather. Their way through the city was quick because no-one was really there. Everyone was on the island, fighting the dispute they've been told that is the main center of their existence. When Abby or Mel didn't know where to go, Lev showed them the safest way and otherwise. They kept an eye for each other and Mel was helped a lot, so they'd be sure that nothing happens to her or the baby.

It was two hours from the moment they've left the aquarium when Abby saw the theatre in the distance. It was lit up, so someone was definitely out there. The feeling she carried in her chest was fucking heavy. So fucking heavy. She wanted to shoot each of you dead, but on the other hand, she knew this could go extremely bad. Melanie was pregnant and Lev was just a fucking kid. And for a reason, now she found out there are reasons to be happy for even if she didn't murder Joel, it felt foolish to come there to kill you. It was too much of a risk. On the other hand, she promised Mel that she'd see you suffer for what you've done. There was no point in stopping.

"Now, we have to find our way inside." - Mel noted quietly upon arriving to the building. They've just tried the main door, gently, to find out if it was blocked. Of course, it was. You weren't that dumb. - "I think I have something." - Lev looked at both of them, waving at them. It was an escape staircase. That kid had eyes of the falcon because to spot it in the darkness was kind of amazing.

It was the final moment before the big climax Abby had dreamed of for so long. And she almost had to laugh at the pathetic thoughts she had. She was afraid to enter the building. Who knew what waited for them inside? Will any of them walk out of the building alive? Will any of these three people survive? Or will all of the Jacksoners be killed in bloodshed? Well, there was only one way to find out. And with that, Abby opened the window which was pre-opened by a bright yellow cable leading onto the rooftop. And so, she stepped on her final journey towards the presumed saving of her damned soul.

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jaqdawks · 4 years ago

Text

added a short story bellow :)

content warnings: alcohol and implied nsfw acts, also mention of death.

—————————————

Nickolai awoke in someone else’s bed with a splitting hangover. He sat up and looked around the unfamiliar room. He checked if it was possibly Alcor’s, until he realized he didn’t know what Alcor’s bedroom looked like at all. He also didn’t know what most of Alcor’s flat looked like; he’d only ever been as far in as a single hallway.

For a few minutes, Nickolai fought the hangover to remember who he was with and what identity he’d assumed. All he could remember was Noah. He had a fake ID that said Noah, and his false identity as a Noah was a man who fixed computers. Noah was a common name though, and he couldn’t remember who the Noah here was.

He didn’t think about it much longer before he succumbed to the hangover and flopped back onto the bed—which Nickolai was alone in. The disturbed sheets on the spot next to him hinted to someone else having been in it earlier.

The door began to creak open, and Nickolai shut his eyes.

“Hey, it’s almost noon. I don’t want to be rude but you need to wake up,” sounded an unfamiliar voice.

Nickolai grumbled a little. He looked at the stranger, who had soft green eyes and curly red hair. He didn’t look untrustworthy, to Nickolai’s relief. Then again, Nickolai didn’t look untrustworthy either on a normal day.

“I have Advil if you need something for a hangover,” the stranger offered.

Nickolai sat up again, for real now. “Sorry, what’s your name?”

The stranger laughed. “I’m Joel. Were you too hammered to remember my name?”

Nickolai shook his head.

The stranger seemed concerned. “How much do you remember then?”

“I don’t know, I remember thinking I should get mad drunk in public instead of passing out on my couch. After that it’s just fuzzy.” Nickolai assumed he told Joel that his name was Noah.

Joel looked a little perturbed in an endearing way. “Ah, well, do you want me to fill the gaps or. . ?”

“Can I get some Advil first?”

“Yeah. I’ll go get some water for you to swallow it with,” Joel complied. “You should get dressed.”

Nickolai waited for Joel to leave before getting out of bed and tracking down all his clothes, which were strewn about the room. His shirt smelled like liquor to the point that Nickolai thought he might gag. However, he didn’t have any spare clothes and decided to just put up with it.

Joel was back a few minutes after Nickolai got dressed. It was clear he was trying to ignore the smell, but after Nickolai took the Advil, Joel asked if he needed to borrow something that didn’t smell so rancid. Nickolai obliged and was relieved to be able to rid the putrid button-down.

“Okay, so the parts you don’t remember,” Joel began. “I can’t say I remember it too well either, but I think I have a decent memory with these things.”

Nickolai nodded. “Go on.”

“So,” Joel continued. “It began when I think I saw the bartender cut you off on drinks, and I felt kind of bad about that. So I thought, hey, company’s much better than drinks, even though I was also drinking, like a lot. And I guess at some point we kinda started flirting, and I was like ‘should we take this back to your place?’ and you began to freak out. I think you said you have a dog that bites people or something? Is that true?”

“Nope.”

“Okay. Well anyways, you did not seem to be very happy with the idea of taking anyone to your place, so I took you to mine. And you can probably guess the rest, considering you woke up naked in my bed.”

Nickolai silently acknowledged the implications in his head. This wasn’t how he planned to start his weekend, but he could roll with it. “Yeah. Sorry for sleeping until noon, by the way. I’m not at all a morning person.”

Joel smiled with amusement. “How do you pull that off? I can’t even sleep past nine on a good day.”

“Sadness.”

Joel’s face went blank with a bit of underlying surprise at Nickolai’s off hand answer. “Oh. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it, no harm no foul.” Nickolai was vehemently aware that he may have used that saying incorrectly.

Joel veered the conversation away from the topic. “How does your head feel?”

“A little better.”

Joel was oddly kind. Nickolai wasn’t used to receiving this hospitality from strangers like him, but that probably had more to do with who Nickolai associated himself with and not people in general. Nickolai decided he liked Joel, even if he barely knew him.

“I would offer you some breakfast, but. . . it’s almost one in the afternoon. You’re probably hungry though, right?”

“Oh, you don’t have to.” Nickolai attempted to smile back at Joel but he was too tired to count off what would make it look genuine. Regardless, Joel didn’t seem to notice.

“I’m gonna do it anyway,” Joel decided. “Any allergies?”

“Strawberries.”

“Oh! That’s a rare one.”

Nickolai shrugged. “I seem to cash in on the rare things a lot. Albinism, an extra rib, and the strawberry allergy.”

“Casinos must hate you if you’re that lucky.”

Nickolai let out a genuine laugh. He decided he definitely liked Joel. He also felt a tinge of astonishment that someone like Joel casually hooked up with him, or generally anyone. He seemed like too much of an angel to even drink.

Nickolai followed Joel out of his room. Joel’s place was considerably nice, to the point Nickolai was in a bit of disbelief. He couldn’t have wound up in an upper class area if he had started last night at a shoddy bar, right? Joel didn’t act like he was rich, he didn’t seem like it either. But this place completely contrasted whatever Joel was like. Even Joel’s cat, a rather well groomed Norwegian forest cat—which was massive and somewhat intimidating—seemed to completely outclass Nickolai.

“Do you live here by yourself?” Nickolai asked as he surveyed the expensive wallpaper lining the kitchen walls.

“Nah, I have a housemate named Anwyll. He’s visiting family right now though.”

Nickolai froze. “Anwyll. . . As in Anwyll Tait?”

“That’s the one!”

Nickolai suddenly felt sick. “Oh fuck.”

“Is something wrong?”

Nickolai retched. Had his stomach not been empty, he had no doubt he would have thrown up all over the nice counter top.

Joel dropped what he was doing and crossed the room to Nickolai. “Are you okay?” He was suddenly at Nickolai’s side with his hand placed gently on Nickolai’s back.

Nickolai’s head spun. He knew he couldn’t tell Joel that Anwyll Tait took his brother’s life in the deathmatches. If he did, Joel would have a catalogue of every possible person Nickolai could truly be, and it would clearly point to Yuskol Voskoboinikov.

Nickolai ran through every excuse he could think up. He could say he hated the rich, but that could offend Joel. He could say the deathmatches made him sick, but Joel was obviously linked to them somehow if he was in league with a Tait. Joel felt like dangerous company, a double edged sword.

“Noah?”

“Sorry, sorry,” Nickolai croaked. “I think it’s just the hangover. I haven’t eaten since yesterday, so I guess I don’t have anything to throw up.”

That was the safest excuse.

Joel looked at Nickolai with pity. “Do you think you can eat right now?”

“Yeah.”

Nickolai felt somewhat content that he had definite confirmation that he had told Joel his name was Noah last night. The slight accent in his voice may throw off the authenticity in his identity as Noah Martin, but it wasn’t consistent enough to jeopardize him.

At the same time, the fact that he slept with someone of such high class alarmed him. Most public record photos of Nickolai Voskoboinikov’s face was outdated or somewhat photoshopped, but a Tait might be able to figure him out if they surveyed him for long enough.

“So, what’s your housemate like?” Nickolai asked. He tried to keep the nervousness from spreading to his voice.

“Anwyll can be such a jerk sometimes, but he’s also sorta nice. I’ve known him since I was little,” Joel said. “He doesn’t like new people that much, but I think he’d like you.”

“Dunno. I can be very unlikeable when I’m on my medication.” Nickolai knew with certainty that Anwyll would hate him no matter what. “Also I’m. . . lower class.” Nickolai also knew that Anwyll was a classist asshole.

“Lower class? That doesn’t matter,” Joel piped up. “The whole class thing is kind of stupid. I think the way it’s set up is interesting, but it won’t stop me from having friends from all kinds of walks of life.”

“I. . . yeah. I guess so,” Nickolai mumbled. He doubted Joel would be this positive if he knew of Nickolai’s illegal trades ties, the upper class notoriously hated brokers like him. They also especially hated him in particular.

Being there felt like the most dangerous stunt Nickolai had pulled, and he hadn’t even done it on purpose.

Joel set a ridiculously fancy, yet somehow definitely homemade, grilled cheese sandwich on a plate in front of him.

“Wow,” Nickolai mused. For a moment he wasn’t sure what to say. “This looks like something an expensive ass chef would make.”

“Thanks! I went to the top culinary school in the city, my parents say it was a waste of time.”

“Fuck what your parents say,” Nickolai replied before he took a bite. The sandwich tasted unreal. The last time he had food as good as this was when he posed as an intern for one of the deathmatch organizers.

“I’m glad you like it,” Joel smiled. Nickolai felt unease crawl back into his chest. Joel seemed so genuinely friendly, though a nagging suspicion told Nickolai it could be a lie. Nickolai couldn’t take a risk by being near him for much longer. At the same time, however, he felt captivated. Joel had that charisma that so many of the notorious upper class families seemed to unanimously mirror. He was a golden face among a sea of golden faces, all rotten under their skin. Nickolai knew what they were like.

Even then, Joel seemed to care a lot more than most would let on.

Nickolai took a deep breath. “I have to go home, sorry. I left my meds there, and I probably have people flooding my inbox about work and all that bullshit.”

“That’s alright. If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your job?”

“I fix computers,” Nickolai lied. That was Noah’s persona, and a story that should hold up if Joel decided to try and look in to it.

To be polite, he exchanged phone numbers. Nickolai only had his burner phone on him, which was a relief. The calls and texts that flooded Nickolai’s personal phone daily would have definitely been suspicious.

Nickolai liked Joel, but he knew he wouldn’t call him. Nickolai had a hunch that Joel may not be the worst of his kind, but he knew he wouldn’t text him back. It felt harsh to shut Joel out like this, but Nickolai wasn’t going to risk identification simply because he had a good encounter. They waved goodbye, and Joel’s cheery expression was a reminder that Nickolai would have to be silently cruel.

Nickolai didn’t call for a cab, he walked until his hangover began to bother him again. Then he called Alcor—Alcor didn’t have Nickolai’s burner phone address, but he was a safer bet than any cabs in this place.

The phone rang for a while before Alcor picked up.

“Who’s this?”

Nickolai felt relief wash over him to hear a familiar voice. “It’s Nick. Can you come pick me up?”

Alcor’s words were laced with suspicion as he spoke over the phone. “. . . Sure. Where are you?”

Nickolai looked at the street sign. Of course he had to stop on Ivory Street—the richest and most notorious, and also the one Nickolai hated the most for almost no real reason. With a sigh, he said, “Ivory Street.”

“How the fuck did you get there?”

“Drunkenly and against my conscious knowing.”

“Is this going to be dangerous?”

Nickolai groaned. “Not as dangerous as standing in the house that belongs to the man who killed my brother. Now get over here, I don’t think it’d be safe to use public transport in this area.”

There was a silence on the other end, then Alcor replied, “I’m on my way.”

#art #digital aritst #digital art #digital doodle #digital drawing #illustration #oc #ocs #short story #writing #original writing #my art

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faecaptainofdreams · 5 years ago

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This character belongs to FursonaKittenMittens!! Also keep in mind that time in fandoms is a tad subjective and just depends on the moment it's projected, so while this leaps a bit into the future just...try to not harp on that too much ^^; It messes with ME a little, not gonna lie, but i love it SO MUCH, UFF. Enjoy~ ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- ~~Sky Davis~~ Born in California to well-set parents as Joel Davis, Sky was a born and raised beach bum who could afford to live easy. His parents could not, for the life of them, keep him off the beach, and so they simply encouraged him. When he was 10, Joel took up wake boarding...mostly because the idea of him full-on surfing freaked his parents out. Around the age of 11, Joel began to consider his gender identity. He didn't feel like a boy, but he didn't feel like a girl, either. He'd always felt different, but now it was something he couldn't escape entirely. It didn't help that he personally never liked the name "Joel" for himself. After a couple of years, when he was 15, Joel discovered he was actually they, and began to identify as non-binary. They chose the name Sky, and their parents were actually quite supportive. If their child was happy, they were happy. This same year, Sky decided they wanted to someday become a marine biologist. They started scuba diving; they adored the sea life and the beauty of all the ocean held. The sun, the surf, it was all an integral part of them. Sky started studying everything relating to marine life they could, and began looking into colleges to eventually get into for their future. When they were 18, the Summer following high school graduation, Sky was out boarding with their friends, Donna Adams, Jacob Morgan and Aden O'Brian. Jacob, who was dating Donna and had aspired to become a pro surfer, was attacked by a shark and left alive, but rapidly bleeding to death. Sky and friends dragged him back to shore with attention and help from the life guard. It was a horrendous disaster of a day, and Jacob ended up dying from his wounds in the hospital. Sky was traumatized. Unable to face it, they decided it would be best to leave California all together and get away from that beautiful ocean. They told their parents that it was to go get basic college courses out of the way somewhere else, but it was a lie and their parents knew it. But there was only so much advice they could give, and because their child was now an adult, they couldn't stop them. They only offered their love and support. So Sky moved to Washington DC when they were almost 20 years old. They have visited their parents a couple of times, but haven't been in the ocean since that horrible day. ~~Partnership~~ When Sky is 24 and working at a coffee shop, they lock eyes with a 23-year-old Walter Beckett picking up a couple of things for himself and Lance before heading off to work one morning. Seeing Walter as a tad star-struck and fumbling over himself, Sky decides then and there that this boy is cute, and puts themselves out on the line by writing their cell number and first name on one of the coffee cups. Walter doesn't notice the number until he's already in the car with Lance. After days of nervous deliberation, he texts the number, and he and Sky begin talking. They quickly meet up and, despite both being shy, are relatively forward with what they thought of each other when they met in the coffee shop. Sky had had on a couple of badges with their identity colors on them, so Walter had already known they were NB. They decide to strike up a bit of a friendship, and then give dating a try. Walter has never dated anyone, so he expresses a lot of concerns, but Sky is patient and admits they're nervous, too. After a couple of months spent dating, Walter, Sky, and several other friends take a day trip to a beach a few hours away. Sky doesn't speak up about their past, not wanting to weigh the group down or reveal too much about themselves so suddenly. But once they get there and everyone is out in the water having fun, a little teasing from August (OC) prompts an anxiety-driven emotional breakdown and a flashback. Sky runs off and locks themselves in one of the cars they'd rode down in together, but Walter follows them. After picking the lock and getting to Sky and helping them calm down, Walter coaxes them into telling him what had gone wrong. A mournful Sky finally confesses, and Walter is nothing but embracing and loving. When he asks why Sky hadn't told them this, and Sky gives their answer, Walter lets them know that everyone would've been just as happy to do something else together, or even alternate between a few people doing the beach while a few others hung out with Sky somewhere else fun. He tells them that next time (because there WILL be a next time), this is what they will do. He encourages Sky to hold his hand and come clean about their past to the others later on, and needless to say everyone is understanding. They go back home at the end of the day on good terms. The experience bonds Walter and Sky a little more, and a little less than two weeks later, they become intimate for the first time. Sky will move into Walter's house about a year later. ~~Today~~ Sky is going to once-weekly therapy for their trauma, as suggested by Walter. They deeply want to overcome their fear of the ocean, as they honestly still love it and miss it dearly. They want to wake board again someday. They still work at the coffee shop, but Sky's ambition is to someday get the courage to go to college and pursue their dreams. For now, they are content with Walter, and are trying to work out their issues through love and support. ~~Personality~~ Sky is laid back and easygoing, but surprisingly smart and has a love of nature that is highly compatible with Walter and their new peer group. They don't anger easily, but they're also not the constant ray of sunshine their boyfriend is. Though of course, basically no one is. Easy to get along with, and sometimes surprisingly submissive. ~~Physiology~~ Sky is 5'7" and has a tight, lean body. They aren't overly built, but they're a tad muscular from a life having been spent on the water. In the years since the incident, they've stayed in shape with other exercise and good diet. Being NB, Sky sometimes likes to wear female clothing or a stark mix. They may also do their hair up in buns or ponytails, wear a hint of makeup, or whatever they please. Sometimes, they allow their facial hair to grow out a tiny bit, but usually not much or for long. No matter the look, Walter loves every one of them. ~~Preference~~ Sky is bisexual, but admittedly prefers men. They had a girlfriend in high school but broke up because, well, high school romances tend to be shallow, and they dated a girl after moving to DC. She was a tad manipulative and believed it was wrong for people to pleasure themselves if they're in a relationship, and reprimanded Sky for a number of things. She also tried to get them to embrace being more masculine. After a few months together, Sky felt like they were obligated to have sex with her, and so they did. It's always been something they've sort of regretted, as it only played more into her manipulation. Thankfully, the ever-calm and well-tempered Sky broke it off with her. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------

Now they are happy with Walter :”3

#Spies in Disguise #Walter Beckett #SkyWalt #oc #bio

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elejahfanfic · 4 years ago

Text

The Vampire Files/8

Fanfiction

Part 8

AU story, with characters from tvd/to, featuring Joel Goran from Saving Hope

Nick and Elena are FBI Agents investigating supernatural activities and homocide caused vampires and demons.

Expect witches, demons, vampires. Inspired by X-files, Twin Peaks, and many other shows

Main pairing_Nick Amaro & Elena Gilbert

tag_ @miguelsbrat

thanks so much for reading ✽\(ˆ▽ˆ)-✽ ✽-(ˆ▽ˆ)/✽

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The New Orleans dawn was breaking. The remains of the night were slowly being washed away by the first rays of the sun. Elena was gazing out of the hospital windows into the horizon blank waiting for the results of Nick's check up. The attending came up to her informing her that Nick will be left for observation as he had lost significant amount of blood, and being an FBI agent they didn't want to risk anything by releasing him, even though his blood work showed that he wasn't in any risk at all. As the nurses left, Elena walked in the room they transferred him to.They wereboth silent.There was so much explaining to follow, but at the moment they just felt it wasn't the time or the place.

"I owe you my life" Nick said, swallowing hard.

"No, you don't. This is what partners are for. You saved mine, remember?"

"It's not the same."

"We are not keeping score. You got to rest. I will head back to the hotel, get a shower and change. I think they will let you out later today. I need to go meet Stavros. And interview the voodoo woman. I will swing by the magic shop later."

"Ok" Nick said closing his eyes. He was tired.The magic of the ointment Elena applied had worn off and now he felt the aftermath of the horrific ordeal he went through.

She looked at him warmly, making a small mental sigh. She enclosed him in her heart that night they played Monopoly. He shed his Agent demeanour off, and shown her a person he really was deep down. Kind, warmhearted, sweet.

Flashback

"I want justice for the victims. This is what drives me. Cold cases were the most challenging. I love challenges."

"Well, you are in the most challenging section of the FBI now." Elena said.

"And think that you are in it for the same reason. You care about the people. At least that's what I could say about your reports."

"Yeah. But I don't always manage to get it. You read that, too. There’s too many dead ends”

“I know. But you are not giving up - and I admire what you have accomplished. I do.” Nick said with a meaningful glimmer in his eyes.

Elena now took hold of his hand and squeezed it.

Nick fluttered his eyes open.They softly connected with Elena’s, making her shudder slightly. It had happened the first time they met, and they knew that there was this something deeply rooted.They both had felt it. Their souls connected before they were even aware of it.

“I got to go” Elena pulled her hand away. “See you later.”

Nick nodded, watching her get out of the room, his heart quivering dreamily. A secret smile curved his lips.

Outside, Elena pulled her phone out and dialed Jenna's number.

"Morning you," Jenna said as she picked up the call,"how are things? Is he going to be all right?"

"Yes," Elena replied,"I need you to send me all about the Bloodborns"

"So, you haven't talked?!" "He is still processing. I would be after the night he had. Sorry to wake you" Elena said apollogetically.

"You think I have slept?!"

"Hope Alaric has" Elena said. "Yeah, he has a full day at the University. So, you think this will complicate things?" “Things are complicated, but they actually are getting clearer”

"Elaborate" Jenna said, not understanding her niece’s logic.

"I can't. You would be involved an it is not goo at this point of investigation"

"Right. Be careful. My gut feeling tells me this is way bigger than just some random ritual killing" Jenna sighed.

"Yeah -got to go." Elena said and hung up.

At times Elena felt like she was reliving the twisted version of the 'Groundhog Day' movie. But here, no matter how hard she tried to get it put things right, things would always get even more tangled up.

Flashback

Years back, when she was about to enter the FBI Training Academy

"You know why they are recruiting you?" Jenna said.

"I know. It's not because I am so good at biochemistry" Elena replied.

"Straight to the special program?," Jenna continued, "I am not sure about this"

"I am going there, because of the resources. Because- the darkness is taking over and I have to do everything I can to stop it."

Jenna enveloped her niece a warm hug.

****

In Washington DC, a few hours later

Caroline walked in her office. Klaus saw her come in and went to her, knocking at the door out of courtesy.

"Today you have to slay. Take Liv with you and get make the summons on this case be worth our while" Klaus in a serious manner.

Caroline nodded. It was obvious the magic of him being this great comprehensive charmer disappeared over night and he was his usual emotionless sour self.

Why did she care. They had a job to do. Prosecute criminals and put them in jail. Stop thinking with your heart. Echoed in her head. He is just another waste of time. That's how she labeled some of her men. She called Liv over to her office and they went through the case in question.

Rebekah's day started with somewhat better. One of her patients showed great improvement. But still there was no answer from Marcel. At times she wished she could just tune out.

****

In New Orleans, a few hours later

Elena stuffed nearly a whole beignet reading what Jenna had sent her. But there was nothing that could establish the connection to Nick and his blood needed to be used for a ritual.

"What is not right in this picture?" she muttered going through some of the facts of the Bloodbornes again.

Her phone rang and it was Agent Stavros, notifying her that he was now at the precinct.

"I am on my way" Elena said hanging up.

Meanwhile, in the hospital, Nick woke up with a throbbing headache, born from the strange magical potion Elena gave him. It had kicked something in him, bringing out a memory that rose up like a wind from nowhere.

Flashback

25 years ago

"You will forget about all of this," Dita Galindo said to Nick,"there are no monsters. That are just stories people invented. There are good and evil people. It is as simple as that. Now eat your dinner"

"But I know what I saw. That changed into a wolf." Nick said.

"No. The man befriended the animal. That is all. And your imagination is running wild. But it is all right. You're ten. You will grow out of it."

Dita Galindo did everything possible to make sure Nick didn't know anything of his origin. And he never bothered to find out. He concentrated to work hard at school and get out of Louisiana and get in the FBI. He was diligent, silent, dark and very meticulous. And the name vulture he got always digging into cases that were impossible to solve, digging into dead meat, as some of his colleagues would say.

Nick brushed his fingers over the side of the neck where he was bitten. He took a deep breath. The sudden realization that monsters that bit him were very real, shook him. These monsters wanted him. Why him? Who was he?

He got up and as he wanted to get up he felt faint for a moment. The nurse walked in suggesting he should lay down.

"I want to discharge myself," Nick said,"I will sign any paper. I am not staying here. I need to go"

The nurse checked his IV and then looked at Nick who closed his eyes for a moment. The images of the vampire biting him appeared again. He opened his eyes and now asked the nurse to call the doctor.

“You should rest.” the nurse tried to calm him down, but Nick was too agitated to listen to her.

“I want to see a doctor now! Get me the Attending. Now!” he demanded.

"You are not fit to do anything today" the Attending said.

"I am leaving, so can you just give me whatever I need to sign to get out - and you will be clear form any possible repercussions that might occur" Nick sat up. He pulled the IV needle out of his backhand.

The Attending could see that no matter what he said Nick was determined to leave. He bandaged his hand, and told him that the nurse would be with him shortly.

And so, he was out of the hospital, finding a cab in front that took him to the nearest rent-a-car place. His phone rang and it was Elena. He looked at it and thought for a second whether he should answer or not. The hospital must have told her that he had left. She was his partner and by rights, he had to answer her, but he chose not to and blocked her. But Elena rang again and he blocked her call again. He was not in the mood to talk to her. Not yet. First he had to get some answers himself. Then his voice mail alert came on and he now played her message.

"Whatever you think you are doing. Don't! I know it is not easy to process all what's happened. Been there.Call me back."

Deep down he knew she meant well. He knew that he was now led by his emotions that were jumping all over the place, like someone put him on live wire. But he left the reason behind and now drove like mad to Carencro, where his adoptive mother Dita lived.

Outside the Magic Shop, Elena was pissed that Nick took off without calling her and she now told Agent Stavros that they had to postpone 'scouring' the place.

"I have released Davina's body to the family. But they will not have the funeral till- " Dean said referring to the woman's heart.

Elena sighed. "You believe that it can be retrieved?"

"I heard what Agnes said to you." Dean replied.

Elena was quiet for a second. She could not pull the wool over his eyes. Dean was involved with Davina, but he didn't know how deeply involved she was in the vampiric world.

"Can I help you?" he offered.

"Nahh- plus- you need to rest. This is not over by far. I will need you fresh and ready for what's to come. See you tomorrow" Elena said jumping in the SUV.

"Bloodborns are described as the offspring of both an Angel, and a Demon. However, users of this power will have the potential to become more powerful than either side.

This is due to the fact that said spirit would be neutral and possess power from the forces of both Light and Darkness. These beings are based off of the Nephillim, the hybrid offspring of an Angel and a human, with the only difference being that both parents are immortal spirits. Their children became Witchers, monster hunters."

"Answer, dammit!" Elena kept pressing the speedial with Nick’s number over and over again, but there was no answer. She drove like mad hoping to catch up with him before he got to Heloise's house. And she managed to get there some twenty minutes after him. She could hear Nick asking question after question and Dita not giving him any answers.

Elena knocked on the door and walked in, apologizing to Heloise for being so forward. Nick now looked at her surprised to see her there, "How did you know”

“Where you were?" Elena finished his sentence and sighing a little replied."I know - about you and where you lived as a kid."

It felt like he was slapped on his face. She could see the rage and disappointment rise in his eyes, "What a great partner you are?. What else do you know?"

Dita looked at Elena now, who gave her a nudge with her head to leave them for a moment on their own.

"I know that you are angry right now. And everything that had happened last night isn't helping" Elena said to Nick.

"You are kidding, right? Is this some kind of a sick joke to all of you? All my life I have been lied to. I want answers. But I don't want them from you. I don't know what shit you will tell me to cover something up" He felt faint again and now spat back Elena about the strange thing she gave him that probably was the reason for making him feel weak.

"Ok. Sit down. You are not back to yourself. You have lost a lot of blood."

"The magic makes him like that" Dita said.

Both Elena and Nick now looked at the witch’s direction.

"What magic?" Elena asked straight forward, as she knew that thing could get bad if there was a clash of magic inside a person.

"Set on him, to keep his real nature subsided" Dita said.

Nick sat down now as he was not feeling good.

"Right. Now you have tell me what magic was used on him" Elena said in a steady calm voice. It was clear that Dita was nervous, but she loved Nick, and clearly didn't want him to suffer.

Nick now started sweating and Elena now looked for some cold water and a towel to ease his condition a bit.

He gulped looking at her now. "Tell me- what am I? Why did they take me?"

"I will. But now- we need to get this magic out of you," Elena brushed Nick’s forehead with a damp cloth,"I am sorry that I kept things from you. Big mistake. Fucking big mistake"

Nick now took hold of the brunette’s arm looking at her with eyes that indicated he is going to slip away, but he managed to mutter. "Fucking big mistake, Gilbert"

"Yeah. Later- you can shout and be pissed as much as you want- but now- I need you to stay with me- do you hear me- Ok?"

Nick nodded a little- feeling like his whole body yet again felt like it was going to lose life.

Elena now ordered Dita to get the witch who had done this to him.

"She is not alive, anymore" Dita said.

"Then some other!, Elena said. "This has to be done. He will not make it otherwise. I am fucking serious!"

Dita just waved off with her head. “There is nobody. I’m sorry.”

Elena now took her phone and dialed a number.

"Valerie," Elena said and proceeded explaining what had happened.

"Right. This what you will do,” Valerie said to Elena, who now found a silver knife in the kitchen,"as you cut the blood from your wrist and you pour it in a clean silver bowl, put the dagger on his chest- as you tell the words- conlidam in sanguinem"

"This is going to work?" Elena said in desperation.

"It will" Valerie said.

"All right," Elena said hanging up,"come on"

She pulled Nick up in a seating position and took his sweater off, and as she helped him lay back, she proceeded with the ritual.

#nick amaro #elena gilbert #fanfiction #crossover au #tvd au fanfic #nicklena

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hollyoaksloversx · 5 years ago

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Crane Carnage!

Rounding up a week in Hollyoaks (28th October - 1st November 2019)

It’s time for the week that must make getting home insurance in Hollyoaks village impossible! Yes, it’s stunt week and this year saw a crane based catastrophe hit the village. As the week began, Breda was finding it harder and harder to sneak off to see Tony and with her family believing that she had dementia, she knew things were only going to get tougher. So, she told Tony that she would have to kill him. However, Tony was able to talk Breda round and she agreed to let him go home. After coming to an agreement that Tony would lie low until Breda had had a chance to speak to her family, Breda put Tony in the boot of her car and headed for Hollyoaks...

Back in the village, everyone was gathering for DJ’s christening, whilst Luke was struggling to come to terms with the news that he was the little boy’s Dad. After the service, Mandy handed DJ to Luke whilst she went to the toilet and Luke was overcome with emotion as he held his son for the first time. As Luke told DJ how sorry he was about the situation, Darren was lurking just behind the door, and was devastated to learn that he wasn’t DJ’s Dad. Believing that Mandy had lied to him, Darren spent the night at Jack’s and only returned home to a worried Mandy the following morning. Darren confronted a confused Mandy over her ‘deception’ and despite Mandy insisting that it changed nothing for her, Darren angrily asked her how he was supposed to love a child that wasn’t his, words overheard by Charlie and Ella...

Deciding to get away from their warring families, Charlie and Ella headed into the village. Walter spotted the pair loitering by the tunnels and, warning them of the danger, told them to go and play somewhere else. Deciding to ignore him, the kids headed down there anyway. Above them, work was beginning on Cindy’s Grande Bizzare, despite Tom’s worries that the foundations of the village would not take the weight of the arriving machinery. Meanwhile, Scott asked Mitchell to chose once and for all who he wanted to be with, but Mitchell felt unable to leave Cleo when he found her binging again. As this was going on, Mandy and Luke confronted Ollie over the paternity test, and Luke was left devastated to realise that not only had his son lied to him, but Cindy had too.

As Breda got nearer and nearer to the village, she began to have second thoughts about handing herself in, and told Tony of her fears. With his chances of freedom slipping away, Tony grabbed hold of the wheel, causing Breda to lose control and crash her car into the crane in the village. As everyone rushed to Breda’s aid, Luke took advantage of the empty shop and stole a bottle of wine before hopping into the crane to start the building work himself. However, Luke quickly realised his mistake as he failed to control the machinery, not to mention the fact that the crane was sinking into the tunnels. Underground, Charlie and Ella were terrified as rubble fell around them, and neither could remember which way they’d come in...

Having headed into the florists to discuss their relationship, Mitchell and Scott were oblivious to the carnage outside. Despite telling Scott he wanted to be with him, Mitchell was terrified when he realised his family were outside and refused to step out with Scott. Underground, Charlie and Ella managed to find their way out of the tunnels, just as Darren and Nancy headed in, having heard from Walter that the kids had been skulking nearby earlier. With the crane becoming more and more unsteady, the entire village was evacuated, apart from Luke, who refused to leave The Hutch.

Eventually, the crane collapsed into the tunnels, crushing the florists, and showering Darren and Nancy in rubble. As Darren and Nancy tried desperately to find their way out, they came to the starling realisation that no one knew they were down there. Believing themselves to be moments away from death, they did what anyone would do in the same situation and had sex, just as a search team lead by Leela found them. As the pair were lead to safety, Cleo spotted Scott in the wreckage of the florists, and was horrified to realise that Mitchell was there too. As everyone was rushed to hospital, Tony lay undiscovered in the boot of Breda’s car. However, just as he’d managed to free himself, Breda, who’d done a runner from the hospital, bundled him back into the boot and returned him to the pig farm! Tony was spotted by Luke, however, in his drunken state, it’s likely that no one will believe him...

At the hospital, Mitchell was devastated by Scott’s condition and poured his heart out to him, just as Cleo walked in. Cleo was devastated to realise that Mitchell had been cheating on her and made plans to leave the village. Finally, with the evacuated residents gathering at The Dog, Mercedes was enjoying playing host and and soon saw a money making opportunity when Diane told her that, with The Hutch out of action, they’d need to find somewhere else to hold Harry’s wake. Grace was furious when Mercedes offered The Dog up and destroyed Harry’s funeral flowers when they were delivered. She was interrupted by Joel, who told her that Harry had not been responsible for the hit and run, and that she should look a little closer to home for the culprit...

5 Things We Learned This Week:

1. It’s DJ’s God parent’s job to protect him from all evil. Well they should start by moving him the hell away from Hollyoaks then!

2. Breda’s finding the upsides to a potential dementia diagnosis. “One day I won’t be able to remember who I am”, she told Goldie and Sylver. If only we could be so lucky, Breda.

3. Jesse gets really sweaty in a crisis. He must be permanently drenched, what with living in Hollyoaks.

4. “By the time you’re as old as they are, aren’t you supposed to have everything figured out?” Ella’s in for some serious disappointment when she grows up.

5. The residents of Hollyoaks have finally cottoned onto the fact that Hollyoaks is a dangerous place to be at this time of year. Grace is going to book a holiday for this time next year.

This Week’s Cast:

Breda, Charlie, Cindy, Cleo, Courtney, Darren, Diane, DJ, Edward, Ella, Finn, Goldie, Grace, Jack, Jesse, Joel, Kyle, Leela, Liberty, Lisa, Luke, Mandy, Martine, Mercedes, Misbah, Mitchell, Nancy, Oliver, Peri, Scott, Sienna, Sylver, Tom, Tony, Walter, Woody and Yasmine.

Blasts From The Past:

Suzanne Ashworth, Patrick Blake, Gordon Cunningham, Tracy Donovan, Maggie Kinsella, John Paul McQueen, Francine Osborne, Jack Osborne Junior, Buster Smith, Harry Thompson.

#Hollyoaks #Highlight #Breda McQueen #Tony Hutchinson #Mandy Richardson #Luke Morgan #Oliver Morgan #Cindy Cunningham #Tom Cunningham #Darren Osborne #Nancy Osborne #Charlie Dean #Ella Richardson #Scott Drinkwell #Cleo McQueen #Mitchell Deveraux

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