#let us have our nasty foods in peace without you crawling all over them

[sourkitsch]

Just saw an online review of kedem grape juice that said that a mom uses it for at home communion with her kids and I have…. So many questions.

1) people actually drink that stuff outside of religious obligation?

2) why would you put your children through that when they’re not even Jewish?

3) what do you use for the host? matzo?

[jxsatlas]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐍 ⇢ keith kogane, ch. 1

keith kogane x gn! reader – next

DISCLAIMER! this story does not originally belong to me, the author is @MaddieWolf37 on Wattpad. i have simply received permission to rewrite and continue her story. go and check out her profile for the original version!

SYNOPSIS! a story in which you are thrown into the middle of an intergalactic space war and have the undesirable weight of being a symbol of peace dropped on your shoulders. but maybe if you look past the constant danger and endless fighting, there's some good to being a paladin of voltron.

MATURE CONTENT! swearing, violence, gore, war, graphic descriptions, mentions of self-harm

"Galaxy Garrison flight log 5-11-14," Lance announces, "Begin descent to Kerberos for a rescue mission."

He shoves the yoke forward and the aircraft takes a steep dive. You plant your feet to help fight against the inertia. You give him a sharp glare as the aircraft steadies out.

"Ugh, Lance, can you keep this thing straight?" Hunk whines from the back.

You look over your shoulder and recognise the nauseated expression on his face all too well. Last semester, there was a girl on your team that didn't do too well with excessive motion and often got sick.

Lance brushes him off. "Relax Hunk, I'm just getting a feel for the stick," he says with a lazy grin, which quickly turns mischievous. "It's not like I did this, or this!" Lance jerks the aircraft side to side, making Hunk feel worse.

"Knock it off, Lance," you warn from your chair next to him. You reach up above you and press a few buttons in hopes of stabilising the aircraft out after Lance's little joke.

"Yeah, listen to [y/n] unless you wanna wipe beef stroganoff out of all the little nooks and crannies of this thing," Hunk groans angrily.

"We've picked up a distress signal!" Pidge says from his seat in the back.

"Alright, time to quit our bickering and get serious," you say, doing your own little thing to accommodate for the lower altitude while Lance flies the aircraft.

"Pidge, track the coordinates," Lance says with a roll of his eyes at your comment.

Pidge does so, typing away on the computer. The aircraft gives a large rumble and Hunk groans again.

"Knock it off, Lance! Please!" he whines, his face all scrunched up in discomfort.

"Oh, that's on you buddy," Lance says sharply. "We got a hydraulic stabiliser out."

Hunk nods and goes to fix it, but when the aircraft shakes again he gags. "Oh no."

"Oh no, fix now, puke later," Lance growls.

So much bickering... you think to yourself with a sigh.

"I lost contact!" Pidge says. "The shaking is interfering with our sensors."

Lance looks over his shoulder at Hunk. "Come on, dude!"

"Sorry, it's not responding," Hunk says and unfastens his safety belt. He carefully gets up and makes his way over to the gearbox to see what's up.

"Coordinates are back," you say, seeing the blue dot on the dash.

"Nevermind Hunk," Lance says.

"No, he still needs to fix it," you say. "We can't properly fly this thing if a hydraulic stabiliser is out."

"Whatever," Lance rolls his eyes, "Preparing for approach on visual."

"I don't think that's advisable, given our current mechanical..." Pidge warns, trailing off when he hears Hunk gag again. "...and gastrointestinal issues..."

"Agreed!" Hunk says, not before quickly emptying his stomach into the gearbox with the unsavoury sounds of food chunks and liquid hitting the metal. You cringe, not liking the sound, and hope he's okay.

"Stop worrying," Lance says dismissively.

"No, they're right," you say firmly as you place your attention on Lance now. "We should wait before we do anything."

"Nah, this baby can take it! Can't ya champ?" Lance coos and pats the dash. The aircraft rumbles again and he retracts his hand with a sheepish look. "See? She was nodding!"

"That wasn't nodding Lance," you deadpan. "Now listen to us and wait."

"I'm the one flying this thing, aren't I?" Lance asks. "So I'm in charge, and that means what I say goes!"

"Excuse you, we're both flying this thing," you argue.

Ignoring you, Lance turns to Pidge. "Pidge, hail down on them and let them know their ride is here," he says.

Knowing that you're now doomed, you keep your mouth shut and wait for the inevitable failure of the simulation. You can already see it, the big, bold, red letters appearing on the dash.

And when Lance flies towards an overhang, tilting the plane as much as he can in a sad attempt to thread through the little hole rather than going over or around, you know this is where you fail.

Lance doesn't make it. The wing gets torn off, the alarms blare, and the aircraft pummels to the ground. The dash goes black and those red letters you were anticipating appear without hesitation.

Simulation Failed.

The first failure on your school record.

You toss your head back and sharply exhale, frustration building up in you. "Nice going," you grumble and look at Lance through the corner of your eye.

He catches your gaze and glares at you. "Oh, shut up," he growls.

The four of you sit in silence for a second, you and Lance glaring at each other, before an instructor opens the door and beckons you to come out.

Reluctantly, you all unfasten your safety belts and crawl out of the aircraft. You then mentally prepare yourselves for the lecture about how you are all failures to come.

You, Lance, Hunk, and Pidge line up before the Commander, avoiding his scowling gaze.

"Let's see if we can't use this complete failure as a lesson for the rest of you," Commander Iverson's voice booms angrily. He's not at all impressed with your behaviour. "Can anyone point out the mistakes these so-called cadets made during the simulator?"

"The engineer puked in the main gearbox!" a boy from the back of the group of students shouts out. Iverson nods and turns to Hunk.

"Yes. Everyone knows vomit is not an approved lubricant for engine systems," Iverson sharply criticises Hunk. He turns back to the students. "What else?"

"The comms-spec removed his safety harness," a girl points out.

"The pilot crashed!" another shouts.

Iverson nods, approving of all the answers given. "And worst of all, the whole jump they're arguing with each other," he growls and turns to the four of you once more.

You keep your gaze on the ground shamefully.

"The Galaxy Garrison exists to turn young cadets like you into the next generation of elite astro-explorers," Iverson lectures. His hands are on his hips as he looks down at you. "But these kinds of mental mistakes are exactly what caused the lives of the men on the Kerberos Mission."

In your peripherals, you notice Pidge clench his fists at his sides and scrunch his nose up in anger. You fully turn your head to him when he takes a bold step towards the Commander.

"That's not true, sir!" he barks.

Iverson looks at him and glares. "What was that, young man?" he growls.

Lance quickly slaps a hand over Pidge's mouth and pulls him back in line. "Sorry, sir! He must've hit his head when he fell!" he says, smiling sheepishly in a sad attempt to cover up his fear. His hand gets tighter over Pidge's mouth, almost as if he's asking the ginger what the hell is wrong with him.

With Lance speaking up, Iverson's attention is now pinpointed on him. He takes a few steps closer to Lance, his intimidating figure making your brother cower back a bit.

"I hope I don't need to remind you that the only reason you're here," he growls, his tone of voice menacing and powerful, "is because the best pilot in your class had a disciplinary issue and flunked out."

Lance drops his gaze down to the floor, a look of dejection taking over his face.

"Don't follow in his footsteps," Iverson warns. He stares Lance down a bit before abruptly turning to you. "And you!" he barks.

Your entire body freezes up and your eyes wearily follow him as he stops in front of you now. Your heart sinks down to your gut.

"I expected better of you."

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

You returned to your dorm at the end of the day with a cloud over your head.

You grumble about the day's events as you aggressively tug your shirt over your head. You really wish you could pinpoint the source of your frustration. Are you mad at my brother? Your team? Or yourself?

You toss your clothes on the floor and pull out some track shorts and a hoodie from your dresser. Getting dressed in your pajamas for the rest of the night, you try to sort out your emotions.

"Stop mumbling to yourself," your roommate says from her bed.

You turn to her. "Ah, sorry," you say. "I didn't realise I was talking out loud..."

"If you're that mad at your brother why don't you just punch him?" she asks. You blink, surprised she actually heard you.

"I'm not violent like you," you say with a sigh. "Besides, I don't even know if I'm mad at him specifically."

"Eh, I would punch him either way," your roommate shrugs. "It's a good way to alleviate your stress."

You roll your eyes. "I alleviate my stress by sleeping."

Your roommate laughs. "Ain't that the truth?" she jests. "How many times have you taken a nap between classes this week?"

You stare at her with a blank expression for a moment before picking your clothes up and off of the ground. "I'm not answering that," you say and toss them into the hamper.

You and your roommate pause when there's a knock on the door. You look at her and she looks at you.

She raises her hands up. "And I'm not answering that," she says.

You roll your eyes and grab one of the dirty articles of clothing you tossed into the hamper and throw at her without any remorse. She yelps in fear and disgust as you walk to the door with a smirk on your face.

"Don't throw your nasty underwear at me!" she barks and she pinches the panties between her thumb and index finger, tossing them as far away from her as possible.

You cackle and open the door. Your laughter cuts short when you're suddenly face to face with your brother. Hunk stands behind him.

"What are you doing in the girls' dorm?" you ask, but then take the opportunity you just created for yourself to tease your dear elder brother. You think of it as a bit of revenge for crashing the simulator. "Visiting someone?"

Lance rolls his eyes. "Heh, I wish," he sighs. "But no. We're thinking about hitting the town tonight! You know, for some team bonding?"

"Who is it?" your roommate calls to you.

"Lance and Hunk," you say over your shoulder at her.

"Punch him!" she shouts back.

"No!" you hiss and turn back to your brother.

"I don't like your roommate," Lance comments under his breath.

"Neither do I," you joke.

"I heard that!" your roommate barks.

"No you didn't!" you ready. But getting the feeling that she's going to keep interrupting, you push Lance out of your way and step into the hall with him and Hunk. You then close the door and give the boys your full attention.

"So, you're gonna come with us?" Lance asks.

"I don't know," you say with uncertainty in your tone. You cross your arms. "It's past curfew and I don't really think you have off-campus privileges..."

"That doesn't matter," Lance waves his hand dismissively. "Iverson wants us to bond as a team, so why don't we listen to him for once?"

"I'm not feeling that adventurous," you say.

"What? Why not? It'll be fun!" Lance cajoles.

"Lance, your idea of fun always ends up with you and me in the principal's office," Hunk reminds. "Don't drag your little sibling into it."

"Hunk has a point," you say. "I don't want to get in trouble again. I had my filling for today."

"Since when were you a goodie-two-shoes?" Lance asks in a somewhat offended tone.

"Since I got a scholarship here?" you quirk an eyebrow at him.

"Who are you and what have you done with my sibling?" Lance says as he gives you a look of utter betrayal, as if you were some alien.

You roll your eyes. "I'm not too keen on losing something like that because I went along with your dumb shenanigans," you sigh.

"Please, the max punishment for something like this is just a weekend detention with old man Brechin," Lance says and a mischievous grin spreads on his face. "That is, if you get caught."

You bite your lip, looking away in thought. Team bonding sounds very appealing after what happened today, but are you willing to risk your scholarship? You don't know if you can lose it because of a simple detention. The Galaxy Garrison is a government program, which means they are pretty strict.

"Do you really need to think about it?" Lance asks with raised eyebrows. "Don't tell me you're scared!"

His words irk you immensely.

You snap your gaze up to him. Is he serious? You aren't scared. Why would you be scared of sneaking out?

You silently walk back into your dorm and quickly throw a bra on, some socks, and your shoes.

"Where are you going?" your roommate asks as she watches you scramble about the room with a sense of purpose all of a sudden.

"Team bonding," you say, now tying the laces of your shoes.

"This late? Are you sure?" she asks.

"All common sense in me left the moment Lance basically called me a scaredy-cat," you say bluntly.

"Well, have fun," your roommate says.

You give her a small salute as you walk out of the dorm. "I'll be back by morning."

"Alright, see ya!"

You close the door and turn to Lance and Hunk expectantly. "Well?"

Lance gives you a cocky grin, proud of his persuasion skills. You suddenly consider your roommate's suggestion for a second.

"We need to go grab Pidge," Lance says. "It won't be team bonding if someone's missing. You gotta have everybody."

You shrug, doubting Pidge will join.

Lance takes the liberty of leading the way to the boys' dorm, you and Hunk following closely behind. You expertly dodge the officers patrolling the halls making sure students are in their dorms like ninjas on a stealth mission.

As Lance rounds a corner, he suddenly stops and back peddles quickly. He peeks around the corner and watches whatever is on the other side. Curious, you and Hunk sneak up close to Lance and peek as well.

Pidge steps out of his room, a backpack swung over his shoulders. He checks his surroundings before closing the door and running off.

You, Lance, and Hunk share a look. You all then telepathically agree to follow the small boy. Once again, Lance takes the lead.

[lost-souls-wander]

Hunter x Reader

Chapter 1

It happened very fast, and everything went out of control. One moment humanity was just doing its thing and living in order. The next week however, everything had changed for the worst. All because of some kind of green flue. Don't take me wrong, I was concerned in the beginning, the fear of losing my slightly rhythmic life sure had taken its toll on me, especially after everyone around me started to panic, including my parents.

"HANNA! You cant just leave us! HANNA!-" those were my dads last words to his ex-lover and wife as she had taken the car, and drove off with our supplies and food. Dad was a mess after after what happened. He couldn't properly take care of us anymore, he had lost a lot of sleep in a few weeks time, his behavior also worsened. He was quick to anger, and constantly irritated. So I took it upon myself to learn things on my own as he continued to reign terror on the last of his family. I had snuck out just a few hours before sun rise and grabbed my bike. My fastest form of transport at the moment, and made a quick tour to the library, as usual, but my dad never knew. And it was possibly better this way.It was empty and deserted, I could hear a few inhuman groans here and there but couldn't quite picture what these "zombie" like creatures looked like, our dad was pretty much a helicopter when it came to the outside world when the apocalypse hit and mom left. None was allowed outside the house at all, just him. And he alone went scouting for food and food alone, here and there some materials but never something for us, his children.I could see his state worsening by the day, and considered it top priority to get away as soon as possible with as much knowledge on how to survive as possible. The building of the library was thick with a musty sent of old books and dust, lots of iron too, which I could only guess was blood. I stayed away from the strong scent of iron and focused on getting to the herbology section of the library.In these times mankind forgot that the true power of surviving came from knowledge, no knowledge? No advantage. No advantage? Possibly a gruesome death would follow.My hands brushed the polished wood that kept the books in their place on the shelves, thinking of how many people had touched these books, read through them, and possibly never did something with the knowledge inside. It was a shame really. I wanted to perhaps become member of this society and yet here it was, crumbling away at these un-dead. It saddened me a little, and I was horrified for a while when I heard it. What was I gonna do now? My degree in art and drawing was pretty much useless now. At least I could scavenge for a cabin in the mountains and settle down there, far away from society, where no zombies or humans could reach so I could exist in peace.

I chuckled, a mid-tone raspy chuckle filled my throat and echo'd a little through the empty apocalyptic library as I stopped and continued thinking about what to do and where to go. But first order of business was to get knowledge from the books and find a place to escape to. Grabbing my black old school bag I ripped it open quickly, wanting to fill it with the necessary books and just get out of here, The sounds of the un-dead in the distance was off putting, and I wasn't taking a chance to be caught in the middle of a group of them. I might have not seen them. But I knew damn well that from the clips on TV that those fuckers were fast. And me without my bike? Not so much.

I grabbed the books by pairs, quickly turning them to their back side and skimming through what the book would hold.

Edible herbal plants... Seasonal plants... Look alike's and their dangers... Looked valid enough. It went like this for a few minutes until my bag was full with books about surviving in nature, herbs, and making shelters for the night. Although I doubted it would help against zombie apocalypses it was always good to know how to make something remotely sheltering and how to acquire food from its natural source.

I quickly flung my backpack over my back and quickly took in the noise around me, the hoard had gotten ever so closer, and it started to make me anxious. If I didn't get out of here soon and back home I would be in a LOT of trouble, perhaps more trouble than being chased down the streets by a hoard of zombies. So I speed-walked towards the exit, the broken doors were leaning against the framework that had red and black splotches all over it the doors pretty much being smashed in two pieces by something extraordinary big. A shiver ran down her spine, May did NOT want to know what was big enough to do that.

after leaving the library doors she quickly hid in the bushes, peeking in between the leaves to see there was any danger, the branches poked and prodded at her form, the twigs leaving nasty marks on her clothes and bare skin.

There! in the distance she spotted her bike, old and a bit rusty, but it did the job well, I looked around if there were any zombies walking around and about, the road was clear, and so was the road ahead. It was a bit strange considering I hear an entire group of them just a few minutes ago but that must have been the other side of the building, luckily not the way I needed to go in order to get home.

I got partially up and half crouched/ran towards my bike which was placed against the opposite building in an alleyway, the alleyway was filled with trashcans and bags that had been ripped open by rats and other critters that roamed the streets and needed some food. Not that it was of any use now, it was all rotten and left a horrid stench that made my nose scrunch up in disgust.

I got on my bike and quickly started to get home, it was then that I started to feel like I was being watched. I felt it crawling over my skin that there was something or someone watching me, maybe some of the other survivors? or perhaps a zombie? I didn't want to find out and started to bike a little faster.

And then it happened all so fast, an inhuman growl came from my left and I was flung off my bike, panic setting into my very bones as I felt the bike get out of my grip, my face looked upwards as I saw the dark sky with a few light rays from the sun. I felt the cold harsh ground on my back and the air flew from my lungs as I tumbled down the steep hill, the creature flung with me yelping in surprise at it's own actions, we both rolled harshly down the wall of the construction site that was never finished.

I felt whatever air I had in me leave my body as I harshly was flung onto ground and came to a stop on my back, I groaned in agony face twisting in pain. everything hurt, my shoulders were probably bruised beyond belief and my legs felt like they had been ripped off whilst still being attached to me. And don't even get me started on my head, it hurt like a bitch!

I continued to wallow in my own pain for a brief moment until I heard a scream that sounded like it came from the depth's of hell itself, and a squishing like sound like flesh had been impaled on high impact, until all that was left was sound of screams of pure agony.

I didn't want to look at what had happened, I was in so much pain and the adrenaline was so high in my system that I made a run for the hill and grabbed what was left of my bike and just went, the howls of pain in the background growing fainter and fainter as the black concrete enveloped my mind, the scent of iron in the air was even more noticeable than before, and the distant sound of zombies screaming left me in even more panic than before as I skidded to a stop in front of my house, put my bike back in its place and threw myself over the fence to climb in the tree, and get inside of my room.

I did not come down that day for food or anything else.

That night I laid in bed curled up in fear and confusion, what had attacked me? what was it even? was that a zombie?! panic and fear had settled itself deep into my mind, I did not want to go back to the library in fear of coming across whatever that was, but fear soon turned into a guilty sympathetic feeling as I remembered what had happened to it, it had gotten pierced by metal rods and maybe was there, slowly dying, starving to death. If it even was alive that is.

I shut my eyes, letting my dark room filled with plants and comfortable blankets fall from my vision as I let a restless sleep take over me, for the next up coming week I did not sleep well, only thinking about the creature that might still be stuck there. Waiting for whatever was next to come.

[topazy]

Silent bloom

Parings: Finn Collins/reader Bellamy Blake/reader

Warnings: Mentions of blood

Chapter: 1.13

Distance was all that mattered. You run through the forest, leaves and branches reaching out to grab you, tearing at your skin and clothes. You weren’t stopping for anything, and sure as hell weren’t going to stop to look behind.

Seeing the night sky was the only assurance that you were still alive, but despite that, there was no help for the sick feeling inside your stomach. The mud and grit had become enmeshed with raw pink flesh and was spotted with blood. You had no idea where you were heading.

Looking over the gates at camp, you spotted some white flowers growing. They were beautiful and pure. You had picked a few and decided to place them on Wells' grave. You weren’t overly close to him when he was alive, but you still felt guilty for not being able to save him that night. If you had gone looking for him sooner, or screamed for help, he might have had a chance to survive. Taking care of his grave was your way of apologising. Octavia had offered to go with you, but you insisted on being alone.

As you made your way back towards the gates of camp, a rustling noise from behind caught your attention. You turned to see two men in hazmat suits crouching close by. They were watching your campmates through binoculars. Gulping down, you slowly started to back away, hoping they wouldn’t notice. But they did.

You tumbled over a branch that caused you to land on the ground with a thump and before you had the chance to move again, men in hazmat suits grabbed you. Your kicks and screams did nothing to aid your escape. You weren’t strong enough to fight them off. The feeling of something sharp pricking at your neck made you scream out for help weakly as the dizziness caused your vision to start blurring.

Suddenly, the man let go and he fell to the ground. The second body quickly hit the ground after. You tried to crawl away from them, not being strong enough to stand, but you didn’t make it far. An older looking woman walked forward and glanced down at you. Her face was covered in black kohl, and she was wearing tribal clothes that were decorated with fresh blood. She was a grounder, and she wasn’t alone.

—

"It’s not safe out here."

You turn around to see Bellamy standing behind you, with an unamused expression on his face. Not that you judged him. He had almost died twice in the last few hours.

"It’s not safe anywhere," you pointed out.

Clarke and Finn returned with grounders not far behind. Monty was still missing. Murphy had terrorised the camp, and now Raven was possibly dying, and Connor was dead.

"Your shift is over. You should get some rest." With a sigh, you accepted Bellamy’s hand, as he helped you down from the ledge you were standing on. You couldn’t help but stare. Even in the night, you could see the bruises around Bellamy’s neck. Without thinking, you reached out and ran your fingers across the dark mark. He flinched only for a moment before leaning into your touch. His gaze fell from your face down to your bandaged thigh, "Does it hurt?"

"No... Well yeah, but it’s getting better." You stepped back from him, "How is your neck?"

"Never better." You snorted at the bluntness of his answer. Something else was playing on his mind. Bellamy tensed again before he spoke. "Octavia told me about you and Finn arguing, a-"

"It won’t happen again. We have bigger issues to focus on."

"I was going to ask if you were okay." You didn’t know what to say. It had never occurred to you that Bellamy would have cared, especially when grounders could attack at any moment. "O never went into detail, but she said it got nasty."

"I would never have taken Bellamy Blake for a gossip," you teased.

Bellamy smirked at your comment, "you're one of the best gunners we’ve got Daisy, but you are useless if you're distracted. I don’t want you to miss a kill shot because of a distraction."

He was right, the argument was a distraction. You only cared deeply about a few people, and in the blink of an eye, you had lost Monty and Finn. You let out a deep sigh, "there’s nothing to tell... how far away do you think the grounders are?"

Bellamy clenched his jaw. You assumed he wasn’t happy that you were avoiding the question, but this wasn’t the time to open those wounds. "They won’t be far," he must have sensed you were unconvinced because he probed you some more. "You’ve been staring outside these gates for hours without flinching. What’s going on?"

"I just... I don’t get it. They only followed Clarke and Finn so far, then they stopped. I’m just trying to figure out why."

"To get reinforcements."

"Maybe," you paused before continuing. "From what we know, grounders don’t give up without a fight. They aren’t afraid of dying. Hell, the bomb at the bridge didn’t stop them. I think something else made them turn back."

"I really hope you're wrong."

—

You opened your eyes to the noise of yelling around you. It had all just been a bad dream. Groaning, you tried to sit up and realised you couldn’t. You had been chained to the bed.

"I’m glad kom see yu laik awake skai raunon."

You turn your head and see the grounder from the forest standing by the doorway. "I... I’m sorry, I don’t understand."

A younger looking girl stepped forward, and translated. "She’s glad to see you are awake."

For what reason would a grounder want you awake? You suddenly noticed the chains attached to your wrists. The memory of Murphy telling you what the grounders did to him played on your mind. You instantly curled your fingers into the palm of your hands.

"Why?" You were embarrassed by the weakness in your own voice.

"We saved you."

You looked between the young girl and the older woman who hadn’t taken her eyes off you. It was true they were probably still alive, "thank you."

"Mochof," the older grounder said before placing a bucket of water down next to you. "Mochof is thank you in our language. My name is Zelda, and this is Ada."

"I’m Daisy." You eyed Zelda suspiciously as she poured a powder into the water before offering the bucket to you. "What did you just put in it?"

"It has healing properties. It will pull any poison from your wounds out."

"Why would you waste your medicine on me?"

Ada took the bucket from Zelda and placed it in front of you, "because we want peace."

You accepted the ragged looking clothes from the young girl and began washing your neck, before moving to your ankles. There was no point in refusing, you had no weapon and physically wouldn’t be able to fight them off with restricted movement. The stinging sensation in your wounds was unlike anything you’d ever experienced before. Soon after, an overwhelming heaviness takes over you.

—

You opened your eyes again to find you were still in the same hut as before, except now it was only lit by a small flame that was next to the chair Ada was sleeping in. You wonder how long you’ve been asleep. The night's cool air made goosebumps appear on your skin, which caused you to notice your lack of clothes. Your trousers were gone.

"I cut them off to change your wound."

Her voice took you by surprise, as you hadn’t realized she was awake. You looked at Ada and noticed she now had war paint on her face that matched Zelda’s. "Who was screaming earlier?"

"They were just reapers."

You tried to rack your brain for any clues about them, but your mind went blank. "What are reapers?"

"Men who are no longer men." Ada stood up and walked towards the ‘bed’ you were still chained to, "You have an interesting collection of scars, Daisy."

You scoffed at the comment, "so I’ve heard."

"Did you get them in battle?"

As Ada moved in the dimly lit room, you noticed the three large scars on her left shoulder. They looked deep and raw. "No, most of them were caused by accidents. How did you get yours?"

"A wild animal," she paused for a minute before continuing. "I have water and food to share if you’d like some."

It amazed you the way you had been treated by the two grounders, considering the stories you had heard. Her offer reminded you of the night you had your wristband removed so you could give Charlotte more food. The memory caused a lump to form in the back of your throat. "Only if you have enough to share."

—

After eating in silence, Ada offered to look at the rest of your wounds to make sure they weren’t infected. You couldn’t decide if she was genuinely kind or trying to lure you into a false sense of security, regardless you accepted her offer.

As Ada cleaned a couple of scratches on the back of your neck, you cleared your throat. "So... what are you and Zelda planning on doing with me? I’m guessing I won’t be free to walk any time I want."

It surprised you when Ada let out a small laugh, "That is the plan."

"Now I’m really confused. You kidnapped me to clean me up, feed me, then let me leave?"

"We saved, not kidnapped," you helped your chained wrists up. "We aren’t stupid. You could have woken up and tried to kill us."

"Good point, but I still don’t understand why. Our people are at war."

Ada sighed before rummaging around in a different part of the room. "We have a common enemy, the mountain men."

"The men in hazmat suits?" She nodded, and it started to make sense. "What are they doing?"

"For a long time, people have been going missing. Many of us believe if we work together we can stop them."

Her comment surprised you, "Does your commander think so?"

"Not yet, but if your people understand we aren’t savages, then maybe they will be willing to fight with us."

You couldn't help but laugh, not because the situation was funny, but because two grounders had saved you from mountain men, then chained you to a bed, but still showed you nothing but kindness. And now they want to use you to help end a war. "How many of your people think this?"

"Enough of them. Do you think your people would do the same?"

You knew Octavia would be accepting of grounders wanting peace. Finn and Clarke would be the same. The problem would be convincing the rest of the delinquents, but you were sure Bellamy would convince them once you explained. God, you hoped you got the chance to see them all again. You let out a deep sigh. The last thing you wanted to do was lie. "I hope they will. They might not listen to me, but I know somebody they would blindly follow."

"I’m going to find Zelda. I brought you this in case you get a cold."

"Thank you," you called after her before throwing the blanket over your legs.

After she left, you laid back down as questions kept swirling around in your head, but you’d have time to ask them in the morning. The last thought you had before falling back asleep was if Monty had been taken by grounders, or mountain men.

—

The door to the hut suddenly burst open and a blood-soaked Ada entered. It had been at least a couple of days since you last saw her. Luckily, she had left enough food and water for you, as well as loosening your chains slightly.

"What happened?" Ada said nothing but unchained you before throwing clothes down beside you, "Are you hurt?"

"Hurry and put them on."

As you pulled your new trousers on, you froze when a gunshot went off in the distance. You turned to face Ada, who was staring emotionless outside the open door. You leaned closer to her and whispered, "What’s going on?"

"Skaikru didn’t want peace. I can’t help you anymore."

"Wait?" You said it a little too loudly as Ada made her way to the door, causing her to turn and frown. "You need to tell me what happened. I can still talk to-"

"It’s too late," she snarled. "Zelda is dead. The war has already begun. Jus drein jus daun, blood must have blood."

You stared at her not knowing what to say. You finished getting dressed in an awkward silence as Ada kept guard. The last few days had felt like a dream you couldn’t wake up from. At any moment, you’d wake up in camp and the dream would become nothing but a distant memory.

"You will need this," Ada handed you a blade. "Be careful, the poison the mouton men gave you can last for days. Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim Daisy kom Skaikru."

"I hope we meet again."

—

Days of not walking properly had taken their toll on your body as you kept stumbling while walking up the steep hill. You ducked down low when you heard voices getting closer. Crawling closer to get a better look, you froze when multiple gunshots fired close by.

You stayed in the same spot until you heard the familiar voice of Clarke. You slowly struggled to your feet and began walking to the top. The thought of yelling did occur to you, but you were dressed like a grounder, and would be alerting god knows who to your location. The pain radiating through your body made you want to give up, but you needed to push forward. You needed to know if your friends were safe. Finally, a head of blonde hair came into view, along with thick dark hair. A wave of relief washed over you knowing that Bellamy was safe.

You thought it was strange that neither of them were moving forward as you stumbled towards them. Clarke placed a hand over her mouth and spun to face the other way, the same time you fell to your knees. "Daisy!"

She rushed over towards you, while Bellamy stood stunned for a moment. He quickly snapped out of it. Clarke moved to the side as Bellamy knelt down in front of you. He brushed strands of hair out of your face, "I thought you were dead."

"Ditto," the expression on Bellamy’s face worried you. "So what have I missed Blake?"

Bellamy held the same worried expression as you got back to your feet and walked towards where he stood a moment ago. Nothing could have ever prepared you to see a pile of dead bodies. The sight made you feel sick. Finn and Murphy came into view. Both of them noticed you at the same time. Murphy shook his head as Finn stepped towards you with an almost insane look on his face.

You stumbled backwards and a pair of hands caught you before you fell. Bellamy held onto you tightly as you backed away from the scene in front of you.

Finn suddenly appeared directly in front of you, saying, "I found you.”

Season one

[nastybuckybarnes]

By the Fire

Pairing: Geralt X Reader

Summary: A hunt goes wrong and Geralt finds himself in a most precarious situation. Until a surprising hero saves his life.

Warnings: Smut, Language, Injuries, Violence, Minor Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 3.1K

A/n: A little something while I ponder Bad Dreams. I hope you are all doing well and staying safe!

~*~

Geralt knew. He knew instantly that he was in over his head. He knew this day would come, he just never expected it to be so soon. But as the ghouls grow in numbers, their shrieks echoing louder and louder in his ears, he knows he can't fight them all.

His eyes are pure black, senses amplified tenfold as he fights off the ghouls that keep throwing themselves out of the dark forest. Sword swinging, blood splattering, he knows he's killing most of them, but for every ghoul that goes down, two more take its place.

Their brittle jaws snap at him, trying to puncture his skin and get a taste of his flesh. His heart starts beating faster, faster than he's felt it beat in a long time. As he throws two ghouls off of his back, a third finds it's way to his leg, claws digging into his thigh. He curses and kicks the pasty monster off of his leg, only to be tackled to the ground by three more. One of them locks its jaws around his bicep while the others focus more on his head, trying -unsuccessfully- to take a bite of him.

He manages to get all three off of him, but the shrieks coming from only a few feet away aren't promising. Grabbing his sword with one hand, he pushes himself to his feet.

"Come on!" He yells, not going down without a bigger fight.

He swings his sword almost carelessly, the venom from the bite seeping into his bloodstream.

He gets taken down again and this time he's fighting weaker, less intensely.

He struggles hard as the ghouls swarm around him, his black eyes squinting with the effort of fighting them off.

Just as he's about ready to give up, his muscles burning and straining, two ghouls collapse away from him.

Something, or rather someone, has grabbed the attention of the monsters, which gives Geralt newfound energy. He snaps the neck of the ghoul on top of him and stumbles to his feet, grabbing his sword and getting into a slightly wobbly fighting stance.

He only has to cut down a few ghouls, all the others distracted by something in the distance. Something that's shooting them down two to three at a time.

He squints in the dark as the last of the ghouls fall to the ground, the forest falling silent. He can hear the wind moving past the lithe body of something in the trees, but before he can figure out what it is he's falling to his knees, the venom taking hold of his consciousness and dragging him to blackness.

~*~

The fire in front of you crackles softly, the flames burning auburn, small flecks of gold spiralling upwards to the stars then fizzling out softly.

The heat of it warms your face as you clean the tips of your arrows, having retrieved them from the many dead ghouls.

The Witcher behind you groans from his spot on the ground. Initially, you'd tried moving him, but his large frame was too much of a challenge so instead, you set up camp around him.

You look over at him, frowning at how slowly the herbs are working to fight against the venom. You crawl over to him and sigh heavily as you see the darkness creeping through his veins.

If his heart wasn't so damn slow he'd be dead by now.

You remove the bandage from his arms and replace the venom-stained leaves with some new fresh ones, ignoring his hiss of pain as the mixture burns his wound.

You take the bowl of leaves and move back to your place in front of the fire, salvaging what you can from your arrows and making new ones with the old parts.

The Witcher groans again, this time sucking in a sharp breath. You don't move, far too focused on the task at hand.

"Who are you?" He asks, his voice hoarse and deep.

"Don't move. You'll only make your injury worse," you whisper, not answering his question.

"Why did you help me?" You set the arrows down and rummage through your pack until you find your small bag of herbs. Taking out the long plant, you bring the roots to your mouth and chew them up while squeezing any and all liquid out of the stems and into the small bowl in front of you. You spit the stems out into the bowl then add a few powders before mashing it all together.

"You were dying. Struggling. Why let the monsters kill you? What purpose would that serve?" You place the long leaves into the bowl then set it aside.

"You're an elf, aren't you?" You glance over at him for the first time, his Amber eyes stare at you, squinting slightly.

"You need to rest. The venom nearly spread to your heart. It will take a day at least to get out of your system. Even with your... enhancements." He pushes himself into a seated position then curses softly. You roll your eyes and turn back to the fire.

"Moving will only slow down the process," you mumble, knowing he probably won't care.

"Where's my sword? And my horse?" You sigh and stand up, walking over a nearby tree to grab his sword.

"Your beloved sword is here. And your horse is with mine in a small village just through the woods." You grab a small leather canteen and scoop the bowl off of the ground then kneel down by his side. He stares at you, taking in your features in the dim light of the fire.

You're pretty. Beautiful, even. Your skin is smooth and soft looking, your eyes filled with hidden emotion and depth beyond comprehension. There's an airy-lightness to your presence that makes Geralt feel surprisingly at ease.

"You've halted the healing," you whisper, gentle fingers removing the fresh leaves so you can inspect his wound.

It still looks awful. Black and blue and absolutely horrendous. But it's better than before.

You apply the new leaves, making sure to wrap the long cloth bandage around his bicep a few times, tying it tightly.

He watches in slight confusion and a little bit of awe as you treat him so gently.

His eyes analyze you, zeroing in on some nasty scarring on your left ear.

You glance up at him and his eyes flash down to yours.

"You're an elf," he repeats, looking pointedly at your ear. You push a lock of hair back and sigh.

"Yes. Or, I was. There's not much left of the elves anymore. Humans made sure of that." He's quite as you hand him the canteen.

"Did they take them?" You shake your head and show him your other ear, perfectly pointed.

"Just the tip of this one. I didn't let them get far with it though." Your eyes glaze over for a moment as the painful memories slam into you.

"That must've been hard." You shrug, standing up and walking over to the fire.

"What's your story, Witcher? How does one find himself battling a swarm of Ghouls in the middle of the night? And where's your Bard? You two are never apart from each other." He rolls his eyes at your comment.

"I was doing what Witcher's do."

"Well, surely you knew it was suicide to be here with all those bodies. You must've known that the ghouls would be coming." He sighs and shrugs then winces.

"I didn't plan on being attacked by so many." You hum, staring into the flame as you think about what this means.

"Is it true?" You suddenly ask, not turning to face him. "Is what true?"

"Your... encounter with Filavandrel." He sighs again. "No. Not the way the Bard sings it. Filavandrel wanted to kill the both of us but... he decided letting us go would be the 'lesser evil'." You nod slowly, fighting memories.

"My brother was always one who could negotiate." Geralt raises his eyebrows.

"You must be (Y/n)." You nod, looking over your shoulder at him. "Do I live up to the tales they tell of me?"

He huffs out a breath and cocks his head to the side. "The lost Elven princess. Many think you to be dead. The others... they think you've strayed so far into the woods that you've become a monster." You scoff and shake your head. "They thought I was a monster before they chased me out of my home. The humans are so barbaric. I don't know how you can stand to live with them." He shrugs and scoots closer to the fire, closer to you.

"They fear me. That fear protects them from me and silences rooms. So I have few headaches when the Bard isn't around." You chuckle softly and sit down beside him, rummaging through your pack until you find some of the food wrapped tightly. You hand him some bread, watching as he takes a bite of it.

"Why continue helping me? Why not leave me here and go on your way?" You shrug, looking down at the dirt smeared on your hand. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't lonely. I suppose I like having someone to talk to. Someone who responds." He furrows his brows.

"And... why not join Filavandrel?" You look down. "My brother and I don't always see eye to eye. I'm sure he thinks me to be dead. I'd like that it stayed that way. To him, I'm probably as good as dead anyway."

"Why? What could have possibly happened that was awful enough to destroy the bond between family?" Geralt knows there are many things that could sever family bonds, but the bonds that elves share with their kin? Not easily destroyed.

"Our parents. They were killed and my brother and I had different ideas on what we should do. We fought and... I left. And look at us now. He cowers, hides away and spends his days having his food brought to him while his people suffer. And I hide away in the trees, free to roam, but always by myself. Thought to have been killed. A shunned princess with no kingdom and no people. I have no place in the world."

It's silent for a few minutes as Geralt ponders your words; the soft sounds of the crackling fire, insects, and small forest-dwellers keeping it from being deafening.

"You don't need a place in the world," he finally says. You look over at him in shock. "Take it from someone who has never had a place in the world, you don't need one, and you'll never find one. The world is cruel and full of evil, and hate, but that doesn't mean that you can't seek out joy, or peace. Even in small things." The words surprise the both of you and Geralt turns back to the fire, shutting his mouth.

"I've always been told that Witchers were heartless. Monsters who could never feel emotions. Of course, I've learned a lot about monsters and I must say, you are not one." He hums and nods at you. "I could say the same about you." You smile a soft half-smile and Geralt loves the way it looks.

"How long have you been alone?" He asks after another stretch of silence, his eyes lingering on your lips for a moment. You huff out a breath and shake your head. "Decades? I stopped keeping track. Since shortly after 'The Great Cleansing'." He stares at you, amber eyes full of wonder.

"Alone, for all those years?" You nod, looking down for a moment. "I've gotten used to it. Although there are some things I can't help but miss."

He hums, urging you to continue.

"I miss waking up in a bed, bathing in a tub, instead of a stream. I miss the warmth of freshly baked bread. I miss..." you bite your bottom lip, not wanting to overstep but so desperately wanting to.

"What?" He asks softly, watching intently as you lick your lips.

"I miss the warmth... of another person. The feel of a man. The touch of a lover." You look up at him through your lashes, licking your lips as he swallows hard.

"Fuck," he whispers, looking down for a moment.

"You couldn't understand. The women in the taverns and brothels are more than willing to let you in, so long as there's coin involved. I... I'm never so lucky." You're beyond surprised when his warm fingers interlace yours.

"I'm not always so lucky. I find that I... know quite well the feeling you're talking about." You look up at him, eyes begging him to do something. He licks his lips and leans forward, using one hand to push your hair over your shoulder.

"No one should have to endure such a feeling," he murmurs, his warm breath fanning out across your cheek. You let out a shaky exhale and close your eyes as he lowers his head, lips dusting over your clavicle.

"Help me feel again, Geralt. Please." The words are no more than a breath on the wind but he hears them, and it's all the permission he needs to start pressing kisses to your neck.

He kisses all the way up to your face then holds your chin in his hand, waiting until you open your eyes to do anything more. When you finally open your eyes, a small pout on your lips, Geralt is looking at you in a way you haven't been looked at in decades.

He looks into your eyes, a warmth spreading through you as his pupils dilate. He leans down and captures your lips in a searing hot kiss, all teeth and tongue and passion. You turn to face him, hands finding his shoulders and pulling yourself closer to him until your front is pressed against his. He drops his hand to your waist and grabs at the fabric covering your body, tugging on it gently.

You pull away for a moment, lips tingling and warm. He watches as you shed your cloak, then your shirt and trousers, leaving you bare in front of him. He strokes your skin gently, lip pulled between his teeth. You feel no shame in your nakedness, however, you quickly get impatient with the way he's taking his time.

You push his shirt up and over his head and he tosses it somewhere behind himself. The way his skin glows in the light of the dying fire makes your mouth water. You push him to lie on his back and he groans softly, hands coming to rest on your thighs as you straddle his thick waist.

He traces his thumbs over different scars and bruises, wondering about the stories behind them.

You untie his trousers and pull his hardening cock out, a gasp leaving your lips at the impressive size of him.

He's long and thick, easily the biggest you've ever seen. He stares up at you with hungry eyes and you bite your bottom lip. You place him between your folds and slowly rock your hips, moaning as he bumps against your clit.

Geralt grinds his teeth together beneath you, wanting to take control and pound into you, but the way you look on top of him... it's bliss. Pert nipples hard in the cool night of the air, hands pressing against his chest as you rock your hips, and when he raises his head to look to where the two of you are most intimately connected, the view of your wet pussy sliding along his hard cock, soaking his trousers... it's enough to keep him on his back beneath you. For now.

The scent of your slick is tangy and mixes with the smoke of the fire only a few feet from you. He inhales deeply and you do the same, enhanced senses making the smell so much more erotic. His hands come up to your waist, fingers pressing hard against the supple skin of your waist, and he flips the two of you over effortlessly, not bothered in the slightest by his injury.

You gasp, looking up into his eyes as he holds himself on top of you, kicking his trousers down. to his ankles. Your left leg raises up and hikes over his waist, pulling him closer to you as you buck your hips. He grinds against you, his cock pressing hard against your clit, and you throw your head back in pleasure. A gentle moan leaves your lips and Geralt basks in the sound for a moment before lining his cock up to your slick entrance.

He pushes in slowly, grunting hard as your walls clench around him. You wriggle beneath him as he stops moving, his hips flush against your body.

You've never felt so full in your life. So complete. You look up into his eyes, mouth agape as he starts thrusting. He's gentle with you, tender, his thrusts long and slow, making you feel every inch of his cock. Your hands come up and your fingers tangle in his hair, pulling his head down so you can kiss him again.

He groans against your mouth and starts thrusting faster, pressing against your g-spot with each thrust. You moan loudly, gripping his hair tight in your hands and throwing your head back while your back arches, your nipples pressing against his warm chest.

"Fuck," he whispers, teeth dragging across your bottom lip as his thrusts get hard. You whine and bring your other leg over his hip, urging him deeper. He fucks you deep and hard, teeth biting into your neck while you pull his hair, the coil in your belly tightening.

He pulls your left nipple into his mouth, teasing the bud with his teeth, and that's all it takes to send you flying over the edge, the coil in your stomach snapping as you cum.

The way your pussy squeezes him so tightly has him cumming not long after, shooting warm bursts deep into your body.

The two of you pant together, coming down from your highs slowly but not breaking apart from each other. He lies on your chest, supporting most of his weight to save you from being crushed while you massage his scalp gently.

He slowly pulls his soft cock out of you, groaning at the way you squeeze him one final time. You push yourself into a seated position as he cleans himself up beside you, your bottom lip tucked between your teeth as your body tries to pull you to sleep. You watch as Geralt gets dressed, graciously taking your clothes from him and covering yourself up. He lies back down next to you and sighs heavily, his eyelids falling closed.

You lie down, scooting closer to him than before and you can't help but smile when he wraps an arm around your waist.

You fall asleep, Geralt's strong frame keeping you warm as the fire dies out, leaving the two of you in the darkness.

[yamithediaperdork]

It’s a living (Ben 10 omiverse)

it was a nice and peaceful day in Bellwood for a change, though considering it wasn't the main stream universe's Bellwood that made a degree of sense. In fact even as the main verse Ben sat across from his counterpart, enjoying the Mr.smoothies of universe 23 they could both relax as Seven-seven and Tetrax had decided to stay on earth and work as a team with 23, so were out patrolling. "So, not that it's not awesome to see you from time to time..but usually you showing up means something about to go all fucky fucky...Sooo what brings you here?" 23 asked. "things don't ALWAYS go bad when i show up!" Ben protested, huffing a little. "Mmmhmmm..So you showed up and I get attacked by my future team mates..you show up and the Ben war..you show up and Mad Ben.." 23 said, counting off on his fingers. "..Damn uh.. well I promise, no world ending stuff this time." Ben said, sweat dropping. "I uh.. ok so i told you I recently moved out and got my own place right?" "And yet you haven't invited me back once." 23 said and blew a raspberry to show he wasn't really offended. "eheheh well fact of the matter is I mightttta gone a little beyond my means and kinda sorta..I'm like a week from getting kicked out." Ben said, poking his fingers together sheepishly. "Heh, and what, you want a place to crash?" "welll more thinking maybe since I've been helping you and all that jazz, you could spot me a couple of grand to get me in the clear and stuff?" Ben asked hopefully. "eh..I learned the hard way not to loan friends money Ben. it's why me and my Gwen aren't on speaking terms." 23 said, then took a big drink of his smoothie. "however, I AM willing to help you MAKE the money you need, and more." "...Doing what?" Ben asked, confused. "Cuz gotta say, I've tried the retail thing back home and when you have to stop doing stock to fight alien invaders, you don't keep your job for long." "Pffft as if I'd let you work retail! Nah man! You know I've leveraged my frame and endorsed a TON of things right? Part of how I'm rolling in dough? Well I got this one wanna be sponsor who I'm not big on the product, but they are offering a crazy amount of cash. I figure they'll settle for the Ben of anther universe, you do the gig, we split the money 50/50, and everybody wins." 23 said, taking out a note pad and a pen. "Look uh, not to sound ungrateful, but if I'm the one doing the modeling or whatever, shouldn't I get more then half? and what are you writing down?" Ben asked. "That's how much your half of the deal will be, and I think you'll find it more then fair." 23 said and smirked. Ben frowned and picked up the piece of paper, looking down, then did a double take as his eyes went wide. "Holy crap! what am i modeling off? Missiles?!" he asked, his voice going higher then normal. "nah, no weapons of mass destruction in that sense.. though bet you'll still clear rooms." 23 said and gave a impish grin. "You'll be working for huggies." "..Say what?"

After half a hour of back and forth, and Ben admitting he really didn't have a better option, the two took off, transforming into XCLER8 and Speedyquick instead of hailing a cab and made their way to the huggies headquarters. since 23 was used to this sort of thing Ben mostly let him talk over the contract and tried not to get boarded out of his mind as they talked returns and profit margins, only tuning in when the executive they were talking to (who if Ben didn't know better, he'd swear was this universes version of Charmcaster) brought up diaper usage. "Of course seeing your other self in our new line of Lil' stinkers would do wonders for our promotion of them, but if we could show them being used it would really help sell other points. we're taking photo shoots for magazine spreads and of course some tv and internet ad's. the more you and your client can promise us in terms of selling these diapers are for big babies who need to be put in their place, the more zero's we can add to your check." She said, smiling. "Wait..as in..you know.." Ben interrupted before 23 could talk, and unable to say what he was thinking, and blushing badly, he make fart noises with his mouth. "Heh, yes, we want you to go dooty in your diaper." Hope said, smirking and watching the two boys reactions. "N-No way! I mean I'll wear them and crawl around and stuff, but I'm NOT taking a dump in diapers!" Ben huffed and crossed his arms, shaking his head and well, looking just perfect for the target audience. "Maybe I should give you and your client a moment to talk this over. we can make a deal without the diaper usage but it's going to cut into the bottom line." Hope said and got up and left the room. "Can you BE anymore of a brat?" 23 hissed at Ben. "But..but..she wants me to-" "Yes, I know. I was there. Look Ben, I'm putting my neck on the line for you here, if my other sponsors hear about what a crabby brat your being here, it could affect me. Also your the one who came to me for help, so wouldn't like crapping yourself in huggies and making a boat load of cash once be better then doing a bunch more commercials to make the same amount? And who the hell from your universe is gonna see you doing this anyways?" 23 asked. "But I don't wanna poop in a diaper!" Ben whined and shook his head. "and you can't make me! so th-" he started to add, then suddenly he was yanked out of his chair and over 23's laps. "W-what are you doing?! and when the hell did you get so strong!?" "I've been working out since the mad Ben thing. and I'm gonna do what anyone does with a whinny brat.." 23 said and smirked, tugging down the back of Ben's pants. "I'm gonna spank you." Yanking Ben's skid marked stained briefs up and giving the bigger boy a wedgie and exposing those cheeks, 23 paused. "Last chance to be a good boy and let me handle this." he said. "Y-You don't have the balls!" Ben cried out, his voice carrying. "I gave you a chance." 23 said and shrugged, then brought down his hand on Ben's bubble butt over and over, turning the cheeks nice and red as Ben bawled like a baby.

Since the office wasn't sound proofed, and many people knew that both of the Ben's were in the office, it attracted A LOT of attention as the bigger Ben's voice filled the floor with the sounds of wails and there was the unmistakable sound of buns being tanned. Hope smirked as she listened, feeling she had pegged the relationship between the two boys right, and waited till there was just the sound of the bigger Ben sobbing before going back into her office, and fighting back a chuckle as she saw the bigger boy in the corner, his pants in his chair and his undies still hiked up. the boy had his nose to the corner and his hands on his head, and was whimpering and sobbing gently. "I'm sorry for that, somebody needed a attuide adjustment." 23 said. "oh don't be! I just wish we had recorded that! would of been perfect for the set up of a commercial!" Hope said and chuckled. "well I can always spank him again." 23 offered, chuckling to as Ben whined loudly from the corner. "So, may I assume that your both on board with widdle Benny making uh-ohs and tinkles in his diapers?" Hope asked. "I dunno, Ben, are you ok with messing your diapers?" 23 asked. "Y-Yes! No more spankies!" Ben cried out, his hands going from his head to covering his poor buns. "i think that answers your question." "excellent, then I'll draw up the contract, and if we hurry we can have Ben in the studio in about 2 hours. Make sure he gets LOTS to eat, we wanna show off how the Lil' stinkers hold up to even the biggest messes." Hope said. as 23 and Hope chuckled, Ben whimpered and found himself sucking on his thumb having ALL the regrets.

a hour and half later and a semi pot belly Ben was leaning back in his folding chair, in front of the set and belching off and on. He still hadn't been able to reclaim his pants though he'd been allowed to tug the wedgie out at least, though this just got loads of comments about how diapers might be a good full time choice for him. Ben had swallowed back any come backs or threats he had in mind as every time 23 was quick to pat his still sore booty. going on Hope's advice 23 had forced Ben to chow down, though while the catering table was set up with all sorts of awesome snack foods, including Ben's favorite, chilli fries, it was the large pyramid of at least 23 jar's of prune baby food that 23 had directed Ben to, helping the bigger boy and spoon feeding him as the crew setting up the large nursery chuckled. "Come on ben, one jar to go. you can do it." 23 was saying, grabbing the last jar and smirking at Ben's baby food covered face. "D-Dude..I'm not joking..if I eat one more bite I'ma hurl." Ben whined. "that's what you said two jars ago." "by all means, call my bluff, just when your wearing baby food on your shoes, remember i warned you." Ben said with a weak smile then a LOUD and nasty belch. 23 made a face and waved the air in front of him. "Man, if it smells that bad now.. Maybe i should excuse myself to the other room when you crap yourself." he teased. "N-no way..if I'm doing this..you're watching AND smelling!" Ben whined and Belched again. "Can i get something to drink?" he asked. instantly he realized he should of worded his request better as 23 got a large baby bottle filled with what was hopefully milk, and popped it in Ben's mouth. it only took a few sucks on the nipple to realize that of course, it was formula, and Ben scuched up his face. "Hehehe I have to say Ben, you are JUST too cute like this. I might have to try and lock you into a long term agreement here." 23 teased then winced at the glare Ben gave him. "Kidding! Kidding!" pushing the bottle out of his mouth, Ben went to say something but was cut off as Hope strolled onto the set. "Ok people, time to make some magic. baby Ben, we need you in wardore." she said then pasued. "Oh, Do you know how to put a diaper on?" she asked, suddenly looking sheepish. "N-No." ben whined and a loud toot came out his bottom. "Oh er..I don't think we have time to teach you before you unload." Hope said, holding her nose. "it's ok, I'll diaper the big baby." 23 said happily. "of course you will." Ben muttered, but let himself be lead off to a side room where there was star on the door, with his name on it. "great...I'm about to become famous as a diaper boy.." Ben whined. lead inside 23 just chuckled. "Mr.Devil, he's ready for his close up."

The diaper was MASSIVE, and for a second both boys just stared at it, wondering if Ben was gonna be able to even walk in the thing. it was easily the equal to 10 normal diapers layered together and was a soft baby blue (whether that was a marketing choice or just when they had been making these things expect 23 to model them, neither boy was sure) anther loud toot from Ben's back door which sadly filled the small dressing room had both boys holding their noses, and broke them out of their trance. "I..I don't wanna do this. I'm scared." Ben whined, looking at 23 with pleading eyes and starting to squirm in a way that told him their deadline was coming up fast. "Sorry buddy, we signed the contract. but I'll make sure this goes as fast as possible. all you have to do with whimper and cry, and act like you've been acting, and I'll be doing the voice over." 23 said and reached up, patting Ben's head. Ben whined but let himself be laid down on the teddy bear print changing mat on the floor and just lifted his arms to let 23 tug his shirt off. "we're gonna have to enroll you in a exercise program if we need to keep feeding you like this." 23 teased, noting that while Ben wasn't chubby, he had enough pudge on him to look a bit like baby fat, and the baby food in his tummy wasn't helping. Sliding Ben's undies off 23 tossed them in a trash can behind him, then unfolded the massive diaper as Ben whined. "W-why'd you toss out my undies? A-and were are my pants? F-For after?" he asked, feeling so small and helpless as 23 lifted Ben up but his legs to get the diaper under him. "hush, you let me worry about that..though..heh.." 23 paused the look down at Ben's exposed crotch. "Didn't know you shave." "I uh..haven't gotten my pubes yet.." the bigger in so many ways, but not where it counted boy said. "well that explains your cute widdl-" "Watch it!" Ben huffed and for the first time moved to use his Omimatrix. "Ok ok..Sorry." 23 said sweat dropping. "I've had THREE girls interested in me by the way, so it can't be THAT small!" Ben added and 23 smirked and powdered him lots. "And how many of them saw you down there?" 23 asked, as he tugged the diaper up. "and of those that saw, how many stayed interested?" with the diaper tapped up Ben sat up with a bit of effort, but was blushing and wouldn't look 23 in the eyes. "L-Let's just get this over with." Ben huffed and tried to get up on his own, only to keep falling back on his puffy butt. "That's what I thought." 23 chuckled and then held out his hands, Helping Ben get to his feet. the bigger boys BIG diaper had his legs spread and Ben was barley able to waddle, several times needing to stop and take 23's hands as they made their way out onto the set. 'If i make it though this I'm moving to a smaller apartment so i never have to ask this son of a bitch for a favor again.' Ben thought.

Hope grinned ear to ear and had some of the photographers snap shots of Ben needing help with walking, before coming over with a baby blue bonnet and bib that had white text in comic sans, that read BRAT. Ben would of argued about the add ons, since he was pretty sure that hadn't been in the original deal, if it wasn't for the fact he was using every ounce of control NOT to mess himself too soon and have to start all over. "There we go, don't you just look adorable~" Hope teased and tickled Ben's chin. "A-Ah.S-Stop that..w-we hafa hurry up..I..I can't.." Ben whined and rubbed his tummy, a muffled fart coming out and making hope take a step back. As they started to film, Ben for the most part blissfully blacked out, but of course got to watch the commercial after, with everyone praising him on what a good boy he had been.

"Hey everyone, Ben 23 here, and bringing you yet anther great product. So, brats, we all know one and we've all thought about putting them in their place, but where do you even start to get what you need for it?" Came 23's voice, on a screen of black. "Well the answer for that, Is huggies. That's right, the same company you've been trusting to look after your little bundles of joy is here to help you put those same bundles of joy turned into over sized brats back into little baby's." the screen came into focus and there was Ben, a glazed look in his eyes and holding his tummy, in all his big baby glory. "Most of you know about my other universe counterpart, but what you don't know is that he's a grade A BRAT. as a favor to his friends back in his verse, we're giving Baby Ben the punishment he deserves. isn't that right baby ben?" 23's voice asked as Ben whined and pouted. "Pwease, no wanna go poopies! I'm sowwy!" Ben cried out. "now now Ben, you don't want anther spanking do you?" 23's voice asked, and it was the yelp of fear that sold it as Ben totally lost control. the camera zoomed in as the back of Ben's diaper rapidly started to expand, and loud gross farts were heard. Ben for his part was face down ass up, and pounding a fist on the floor as he filled his diapers, crying and howling but really, it only made the shot better. "Lil stinkers is made with a new material that allows for up to 40 times the normal amounts of waste, which means even with 22 jars of baby food in baby Ben's tummy these diapers won't leak, or your money back." 23 said. the diaper only started to take on a dirty stain of brown in the back as the material reached down to Ben's knees. "with our new smell block guards in the diaper, you'll only get the faintest whiff of the the mess the big babies made. Sure it spares the brat but if your brat is anything widdle Benny here, you're gonna be punished enough changing him." with a few last sputtering farts Ben was apparently finished and sucking on his thumb as he got up on his knees, looking to the cameras. "C-Change pwease?" Ben whined. "Oh silly Ben, if we just changed you right away, where would the fun be in that? with added rash protection built into the diaper, along with bratty baby brand powder, Our little Benny can go 12 hours without a change!" hearing that Ben bawled again, both hands coming up to his eyes and there was just no two ways about it, he looked like a giant baby. "See you in 12 hours little guy! enjoy your poopie diaper." 23 said cheerfully. Ben's cries were muted as they went to the last of it. "Lil stinkers by huggies. put your brat back in diapers, and in their place. Available at a super market near you in two weeks."

Ben naturally wasn't actually kept in the poopie diaper for 12 hours, though they did take the chance to get all the pictures they needed for him in his poopie diapers, with 23 posing in some of them with him. Such as having Ben in his arms, Ben over his lap and pretending to give him a messy spanking, and of course 23 pulling the back of the diaper open as Ben sat on his ass, hugging a teddy bear and sucking on a pacifier and 23 holding his nose. If 23 was being truthfully though he was glad he was wearing his baggy pants as the site of Ben like this almost had little hearts in his eyes and he was tempted to try and keep Ben like this. Still a contract was a contract, and once they had enough footage they got Ben changed into a clean diaper but out of the bib and bonnet, and with his t-shirt back on. Ben was actually in the crib that was part of the set up when he came out of it, the staff and Hope and 23 where having a few drinks. "C-Can somebody come let me out? And.. get me big boy undies and pants?" Ben called, using the crib railing to haul himself to his feet but swaying dangerously if he let go, so knowing he couldn't get out. if the crew heard him, they ignored him and kept talking among themselves and laughing, annoying Ben. "I SAID, SOMEBODY LET ME OUT!" Ben yelled and stomped a foot, slipping and falling on his padded rear. "oh great, the baby is awake." 23 said, smirking and winking to the crew who all laughed. "Your not freaking funny! Let me outta here NOW or I'm going way big!" Ben growled and started to fiddle with his watch. "Way big?" a crew member asked. "as in he's gonna be a big boy?" "No! as in the alien who's 100 feet tall!" Ben huffed and got the watch ready to go. "-sigh- I'll handle this." 23 said and walked over, holding his hands up. "heyy heyy..it's OK Benny. we don't need to bring aliens into this. you're all done here and we'll cash your check at the first bank of Ben then you can go home. OK?" "i want outta this diaper, I want outta this crib! and i want big boy undies and pants!" Ben huffed, keeping his hand over his watch. "heh, your terms are agreeable. we only re-diapered you because you were out of it, and I don't really wanna change anther poopie diaper." 23 lied. He would of totally loved to keep changing Ben's diapers but clearly the little guy had been pushed to his limit.

As it turned out they couldn't find pants in the studio for Ben, or a pair of undies so the poor hero ended up standing in line with 23 at the bank in his t-shirt and diapers, which normally would of caused problems but with 23's technically owning the bank, it was brushed over. The first thing they did after getting the check cashed was go shopping and get Ben a pair of sumo slammer boxers, then off to the food court for him to get the taste of the baby food and formula out of his system, though he wasn't able to eat his full order. 23 joked about how they should of gotten him a happy meal as he wiped up the chilli stains off of Ben's face. after that it was time to go home and Ben gave 23's hand a shake. "..ok, you saved my ass from having to move back home..buttt don't expect me to come back here till this ad campaign is over and done." Ben said. "heh, come on, didn't a SMALL part of you have fun?" 23 asked. "hahahaha NO. Today was the most horrible day of my life, and with the shit I've been though, thats saying something. Maybe you can come over to MY universe sometime and be a diaper boy for me though." "heh. or just show up with a diaper bag." "..Shutting up." with that Ben went back to his home universe, very much richer. Or so he thought.

as it turned out their money while looking the same on the outside, was made differently and raised all sorts of flags when Ben went to go and deposit it in his universe. there was a public cry of outrage that a hero like Ben would try and destabilize a local economy like that, and there was talks of official charges of counterfeiting and maybe even jail time. Not even able to get his cash back, and the Plumbers having to give him the cold shoulder publicly to save face, Ben decided to take a little bit of a vacation (2-7 months while the plumbers legal team got him out of the mess) back in universe 23, figuring that 23 owned him, AND wanting to give him a piece of his mind.

"baby Ben! back so soon?" 23 asked, delighted as a red faced Ben made it to his pent house. on the way over Ben had been recognized, teased and scolded for not being in his diapers and had seen billboard with him in all his blacked out diaper baby glory. "ha.Ha. we have a problem." Ben said, and then nodded to 23's couch. "mind if I take a seat?" "Only if you promise not to make a puddle." 23 joked, but moved aside as Ben came in and flopped down. Ben spent the next 10 minutes explaining out what had happened, as 23 looked upset and shook his head. "Man, that sucks. I'm sorry, i didn't know!" 23 said. "well, I need a place to stay for a little while till i get the OK to go back..so I was wondering if y-" "would put you up here for a few months, heh,. that can be arranged. don't think you'll be able to get a place on your own here unless you just did more commercials though, rent in the city has gone up since i live here." "Not like i have a penny to my name anyways, and was gonna ask if you'd rent me a place..Buttt staying here I guess won't be so bad." Ben said with a little smile. "there is a small price I'd like you to pay..But in return for humoring me on this onnnne tiny little thing, I swear you'll want for nothing while staying with me. all the junk food you could want and any video games, the whole nine yards." 23 said, blushing a little now. "..why am i getting a bad feeling about this?" Ben asked. "well see.. they didn't need the stuff they used in your commercial after you left..so they gave it to me for free..and you were just SO god damn cute.." 23 said, getting up and leading Ben to yup, a recreation of the nursery from the set. "FUCK NO!" "oh come on Ben! i promise! no baby food this time and pop in your baby bottles! Pleasssse?" 23 asked, bringing his hands together. "why in the world would i agree to do that for a few months? I could just go do anther commercial, then get my own place here!?" Ben pointed out. "one, because as your agent I control whether you do anther shoot, it's actually part of the contract, two, if I tell my bank not to cash your check who else do you think will cover that much. three, and this is the kicker. where else can you go to with ease to hide out? you really think mad Ben is gonna welcome you with open arms?" "..Fuck my life!"

And so one week after promising himself he'd never be a big baby again, Ben found himself in two of the thick blue diaper's  and in a t-shirt top, crawling behind behind 23 and pouting like crazy. "Don't you think top is over kill?" Ben whined. "I'm the one paying for them. so just shush and look adorable." "Not funny." Ben pouted and then realized it would be harder then hell to get off and on the couch's and just sat on his diaper butt in the living room. "So what d-" "I want chilli cheese fires, I want a two liter of coke, and I want the latest sumo slammer game five minutes ago!" Ben huffed then grinned. "..Demanding aren't we?" "and i quote: I swear you'll want for nothing. I want all of that." Ben said smugly. "you know, i could of just spanked you." 23 teased, going to grab the phone and make the food order. instead of Ben telling him off however, the threat had a amusing and smelly effect instead. Ben froze at the memory of that and then well, with him being double diapered it was a little hard to tell since there was no smell, but 23 could of sworn Ben just got a little taller. "heh, Did somebody just make me a present?" "NO!...yes." "Good boy. I'll change you after you eat, if your a good boy." 23 said and winked. "...this is gonna be a long 2 months."

the end?

[uzumaki-rebellion]

“Wet Sugar” [Part 16 of 30]

Summary: Erik and Yani cope with being apart...

NSFW. Mature Audience Only. Smut.

"Had we met at a different time we'd be perfect for each other, Now we're spending all our time, in this world come together, My heart is aching, from all the love you're giving, We're not faking, is this the life we're living?

I'm not perfect, but I'm perfect for you, Now I'm right on time, I'm not perfect, but I'm perfect for you, I feel right on time…"

Grace Jones – "I'm Not Perfect (But I'm Perfect For You)"

Klaue spends a whole day blowing things up with his arm.

Boulders. Old Trucks. An unused structure on his property. Giant trees.

If he wasn't blowing things up, he was using the sonic canon to terrorize his South African crew by blowing up large chunks of earth in front of their vehicles when they drove around his property. The man was hellbent on destroying things.

He asked about St. Thomas and the compound. Erik informed him that Leona was on vacation with family and that Yani was housekeeping in her place. A few days a week. He said that so Klaue wouldn't trip when Erik checked live feeds of the exterior of Our Lady's Manor. Yani knew to maneuver around with the baby so that Sydette never appeared on the streaming video feed. The few times he was with Klaue when he checked the feed, Yani was seen cleaning the pool or patio, allowing Kendall and crew to come through for landscaping, and also toting laundry back and forth to the apartment under the front house. No sign of Sydette. Yani wore her typical sweatpants and t-shirts. Occasionally a beanie or baseball cap.

Erik did his best not to look too interested in Yani when they watched the feed. He felt a rush of emotion in his chest the moment his eyes saw her dragging the pool net through the water. She had on headphones and was preoccupied with her work. He wondered if Sydette was asleep in her room, or if Yani took her to Leona's. He wanted to call her. Listen to Yani's voice make that melodic sound when she called him Killmonger. He wanted to face chat with Sydette and hear her call him Baba. He now knew why so many of his merc cohorts stayed away from having long term companions. It was too hard having a family and doing the work.

Linda looked very relaxed being around Klaue.

Erik didn't suspect anything between her and Klaue, but he could tell that the man let her get in real close to him. It felt like she had slipped into the role of a consigliere, not quite at the level Erik was with Klaue, but pretty damn close.

Huntsman didn't like her at all. Perhaps it stung seeing two uppity negroes having so much influence over Klaue instead of him, a guy who worked for the man for over twenty years. Erik saw Huntsman's eyes take on the look of a tiger ready to pounce whenever Linda spoke to Klaue.

Next on Klaue's agenda was for Erik to start fashioning weapons using vibranium to enhance their power. Erik didn't ask about it, but he suspected Klaue wanted new firepower to protect them when they finally made that excursion into Wakanda.

Over a dull meal of overcooked beef, Klaue told Linda about vibranium, actually allowing her to see a small sample. Erik ran his tongue over his vibram tattoo again while listening to Klaue speak of his father's homeland. The conversation was only between Klaue, Linda, Erik, and Limbano.

"If this stuff is so powerful, I'm surprised the U.S. hasn't found an excuse to go in and extract it," Linda said.

"Not everyone knows about it," Erik said.

"How did you find out about it?"

"Like anything else, being out in the world. Paying attention. Running into folks who had it."

"Killmonger is waiting on the motherlode so he can retire and disappear," Klaue said lifting up a glass of whiskey.

Linda's eyes swept over Erik's face.

"Where would you retire to?"

"I'll figure that out once I get that big payday."

"Island life seems to agree with you," Klaue said.

"I like the slow pace."

Erik tried to focus on the meal, but his mind kept wandering to Yani. What was she doing? Was she thinking of him as much as he was thinking of her?

He couldn't sleep without her curled up on his body at night. He took a few pills to help him, but even then, the sleep was uneven and not restful at all. He missed morning loving from her. He missed the afternoons curled on her lap as she stroked his dick and he sucked on her nipples. He missed her face-riding him at night, making his cheeks and mouth wet, missed flipping her over and sinking balls deep in her pussy, feeling that tight grip she put on him every time. He missed her so much that it was hard to shake the ache of loss that he carried around him like a cloud. Nighttime was the worst for him after long days with Klaue and the other men…and Linda.

Being in bed alone was a nightmare.

He did his best not to soil his sheets with semen, but his fantasies of Yani had him fisting himself in the early morning and late at night. He had to hold a pillow to his lips to stifle his shouts when he ejaculated. His mouth was chock full of nasty expletives as he imagined being back with his woman, her big legs curved around his ass as he pumped into her. He released a good many hard nuts into his hand, his thick and voluminous loads spilling all over his fingers and soaking through the fistfuls of tissue he held to try and catch his semen. Taking care of her, tending to her every need…that was all he wanted to do. All that weight she had put on that made her family think she was pregnant made him happy. Rutting into her from the back was heaven, staring at the spread of her bigger ass and thicker thighs made him so hard. Sex just got better and better, and filling up her pussy every day was a necessity.

She was the one who would wake up first every morning. Her hands would clutch his waist tight while she peppered his chest with kisses before she pulled herself up and kissed his lips. Crawling on top of him was a ritual, her kisses bringing him back from the land of peaceful sleep. Neither one of them cared about morning breath. She would offer him her breasts, and he would suck until she was moaning and squirming on his waist. Pulling her up higher, he would make her sit on his face so he could kiss her folds before making her turn around and sink on his dick. The snug feel of her around his morning erection would almost have him crying every sunrise. Shit was that good. Sublime.

But now he was in South Africa, sitting at a mediocre meal caught between a sociopath, a sycophant, and a talented hacker who wanted to be in his bed again.

Not having Yani made him grouchy and short-tempered. And being around Linda was tough. His doggish nature could stir up the longer he stayed there. He wanted to be faithful to Yani. His mind told him he could. He promised her he could be a one-woman man. But those fuckboi tendencies were hovering close with his need for Yani's body. He caught himself staring at some South African beauties on a food run, his eyes automatically zeroing in on heavy backsides that made his physical desires jump to his mind and his dick to thicken unexpectedly.

The thing that soured him most while being away was remembering the times he spent lying on the couch or the bed watching tv with Yani and Sydette next to him. Sweet Pea would be hugged up against Yani's chest and Erik would have his head resting on Yani's stomach and lap. Yani would stroke his locs with one hand and stroke the baby's curls with the other. She comforted them both until they knocked out lying on her.

Walking around the beach with Sweet Pea, swimming with his girls in the sea, eating good food with them, and laughing at every new delight Sydette showed them was the only thing he cared about. After a week of being with Klaue, Erik began to feel anxious. He had to take his meds heavily again. His days were active with looking over similar weapons that were going to be shipped to him secretly on a chartered yacht out of Florida to the Our Lady's Manor private boat dock. As time passed, Erik became aware that Klaue planned to keep him there longer than the week he had planned for. He told Yani seven to ten days, and by day ten, he was stressed that his woman was thinking the worst. And there was no way to contact her. Klaue's place was secured tight, even his cell phone that was given to him by Klaue was locked up and the burner phone he was given was checked every day for security hacks. He couldn't make any calls out or even use his own laptop. It was kept with his cell in a secure lock up on the property.

Day twelve.

Erik woke up fretful. His face stayed tight at breakfast when Klaue told him they were going to meet with some arms dealers out of Pretoria. Linda was busy working on bypassing some weapons systems for Klaue, and even she was feeling cramped and bored being in Joburg. He stayed careful around her when they drank together at night with Klaue.

Once good liquor got into his system, Erik tended to loosen up, but he didn't want to loosen up too much. Conversations with Linda let him know that she was also concerned about some of the men around Klaue.

"Do you worry about being around them?" he asked.

Linda gazed out at the sunset over a grouping of large boulders.

"No…not really. I can hold my own. But Klaue…he needs to streamline his operations. Too many components are moving around and I feel like he's going to get caught."

"You thinking of leaving?"

"No. The money is too good. I'm looking for that big payola too. Once that happens, I'm out."

Her smile was wide. Pretty teeth. Pretty lips.

"But you could get caught—"

"So could you."

"Yeah…"

"Where is your head at Killmonger?"

"What?"

"You are so far away most of the time."

"Got a lot going on. Tryna get these weapons together."

"Why do you fuck with him?"

"The pay, just like you—"

"No. You don't need him for that. You could easily go off on your own. You're smarter than him—"

"He's better connected—"

"But you could be. I can't quite figure you out."

"Nothing to figure out—"

Her hand inched up his arm and touched his face. He pulled away from her even though the warmth from her fingers was nice on his skin. Linda stood up from the chairs they were perched on. Her hands hovered around her stomach.

"You look tense. I feel it too," she said.

Erik's eyes danced away from hers. It was time to call it a night and turn in early. He stood up and when his legs buckled, he knew that he had a little too much to drink.

"Easy," she said, reaching out to help him balance.

"I'm good."

He moved away from her and headed back into the house.

A long shower helped him relax and when he crawled into his bed, his fingers rested on his flaccid penis. He reached for a book and adjusted the lamp on the nightstand. He checked for the Glock he kept under his pillow.

"Killmonger?"

The fuck?

Linda crept into his room and crawled onto his bed.

"Whatchu doin'? Nah, get up."

Her arm slung around his neck and she pressed her lips on his mouth. He could taste the whiskey on her breath, her soft lips prying his lips open. He pushed her back.

"This isn't happening, okay? I'm not feeling you like that-"

Linda ignored him and pulled off her nightgown, her breasts pushing into his chest as she tugged on his hair.

"Stop!"

His grip on her shoulders startled her.

"You need it like I do. We're good together," she whispered, her eyes bright.

His dick thickened and he felt disappointed with himself like his erection had cheated on Yani without him.

"Don't you want this pussy?"

Linda leaned back on his bed, her nude body wide open for him. Her pink folds glistened and he felt his body react to what he saw. Her fingers opened up her labia.

"Killmonger…"

Erik leaped away from the bed. His erection pointed at her.

"I can't…"

Linda sat up and watched his eyes. She stepped off of his bed and sauntered over to him. She grabbed his hand and placed his fingers on her slippery warmth.

Fuck. Her pussy was so wet. His balls throbbed.

"Make me cum…please. You make me feel so good."

She touched his length, and before she could stroke him fully, Erik pushed her back. He padded over to his bedroom door and opened it for her.

"I need you to go."

Her eyes shifted, the desire turning into irritation. Anger. Embarrassment.

She grabbed her gown and put it back on.

"Let's just chalk this up to the brown liquor," she said.

"No hard feelings, girl. I'm just not in the headspace."

Her eyes dropped down to look at his length.

"Stress release could help. We could get those good endorphins. Hmmm, I see those dimples."

"I need sleep."

She nodded.

"Another time."

She slinked out of his room. He shut the door. Locked it.

Looking down at his dick he felt homesick. He needed his woman.

Linda's slick was still on his fingers. He stroked his dick. She had her legs spread and he could've taken all of her. Stretched that pink pussy wide open.

But his woman was back at Our Lady's Manor, scared shitless worrying about him. He couldn't talk to her. Text her. See her.

Fingers twisting around the head of his dick, Erik felt helpless for her, could see her face with that fearful look on it.

"I'm sorry, baby," he gasped.

His thoughts went to the last time he was with her, holding her tight, and he felt his skin tingle with the memory.

Semen spilled from his slit in long desperate spurts all over the carpet.

Gunshots.

From outside the house.

Erik threw on some clothes and grabbed his Glock. Peeking out of the second-floor window, he saw Klaue's security team scurrying about and returning gunfire into the dark.

Fuck.

A raid.

###

It was hard to eat.

Yani ate what she could because her baby girl was still breastfeeding, and she did her best to stay hydrated and nourished, but after two weeks of not hearing from Erik, she was at her wit's end.

No one would tell her if anything happened to him. That's what he told her. There was no one she could call.

She cried every morning and night and spent more time at her Aunt's house during the day to keep her mind off of him. But then she would worry that he would try to contact her in some kind of way at the compound, so she checked for the mail every day and kept her social media feed open all day.

He was dead.

He had to be.

Something horrible had happened. Klaue got him mixed up in some bullshit and her man was dead. Stole time from her by taking Erik away. It wasn't fair.

"Come out with us."

Twyla sat next to her in their Aunt's kitchen. Sydette ran around the apartment. The little girl was super fast, her balance so much better as she mastered walking. Yani could hardly keep up. The girl was sliding down from her bed most mornings and running into Yani and Erik's room looking for him. Calling out "Baba" every time someone walked into a room anywhere.

Twyla wanted her to go clubbing. Get out and dance. Yani shook her head, fighting back tears.

"You don't know for sure if anything happened. Those men have a code we know nothing about," Twyla said.

"He said seven to ten days. It's nearly three weeks—"

"Stop crying. Come out with me and have a nice time. Get your mind free. Shake your ass. Get dressed up pretty, gyal."

Sydette ran full speed into Yani's leg.

"Ow, Sweet Pea…be careful, love."

Twyla slid an envelope to her with Chez's child support.

His threats of taking her to court came to fruition. They had a family court date in a few days. He was asking for fifty/fifty custody. Yani didn't think he would get it, but when the official papers arrived at her Aunt's house, it did make her nervous.

"Lemme show you something, cuz."

Twyla left the kitchen and Yani heard her in her bedroom looking for something. When she returned, she held out two wigs. Expensive ones.

"We'll dress up sexy-sexy and switch up our looks and act like stars, yeah? Which one you like, long, or short?"

Yani liked the shorter bob and took it from Twyla's hands.

"Beach party. A little liquor, a little weed…Auntie will watch Sydette. She wants you out of the house and having fun too."

Twyla touched Yani's cheek.

"You young. I know you have deep feelings for that big nigga…ah see, I got you to laugh. But he told you the truth about his life. He would want you to live it up. Sydette needs her Mama to live it up. Life is still happening around you. Whatever fate has for him has happened. And I know he loves you. We all see it. You so happy…"

Twyla's lips trembled and Yani gripped her wrist as her cousin wiped her eyes.

"No matter what, you still have the compound to yourself, and he has left you money to take care of you and your baby. Make him happy. Have some fun for him. Please?"

"Okay."

"Yes!"

Yani spent the day with Twyla looking for an outfit. Beach parties were pretty simple. Swimsuits, wrap skirts, pool lounge wear…things that showed skin and body.

Three weeks of tears and a tense stomach brewing ulcers needed to be undone. It would be good to be around people again.

She and Twyla took a cab to the beach party and they received stares. Twyla's curly halo of wig hair looked amazing with her magenta bikini top and matching wrap skirt. Yani was draped in a sheer red beach lounger with a red bikini bottom. No bikini top for her. Letting her nipples show, she felt risqué. The dark wig made her feel mysterious as if she were a brand new person. She wore gold and crystal trimmed heels and regretted not putting on flats instead. The beach party was set up at a popular bar that had a patio in the back that spilled out onto a nice beach area. Music was loud, drinks flowed, and Yani felt a slight moment of panic when she walked to the back of the bar to join the large crowd of party people. She almost bolted back to the cab. She had no idea where Erik was or how he was, and she felt guilty dressing up all sexy and not staying in their house waiting for him.

Twyla nudged her forward and they found a couple of their mutual friends waiting for them. A joint was quickly passed around and Yani snagged a puff to cut the edge in her nerves. She didn't partake often, but her lungs welcomed the quality. Twyla bought them shots of whiskey and she downed two back to back.

Within an hour, Yani had loosened up and found herself dancing, swaying her hips and swinging her borrowed hair.

"You should let your hair go dark again," Twyla said.

Another hour passed and Yani was laughing and talking up a storm with friends. Every now and then her heart would touch upon Erik, and she'd feel a moment of sorrow, but Twyla was right. He would want her to keep living, keep enjoying her youth, and take time out for herself.

Resting out on the beach deck, Yani watched dancers and listened to the good music, enjoying the rich vibe.

"Yani."

She pushed the hair from her eyes and turned to the sound of the voice.

His lean body looked a little more muscular and he had grown some facial hair that made him look more mature.

Zachary.

"Hey," she said.

She took a quick sip from the Tequila Sunrise she drank.

"I wasn't sure if it was you or not…the hair…"

"Oh…yeah. Just tryin' a new look for the night."

"I like it."

His eyes took in her outfit.

"You look great."

"Thanks. You too."

Her eyes went back to staring at the dancing on the beach.

"I know I haven't apologized for leaving you that night—"

"Forget about it. It was a wild night. Things turned out how they were supposed to."

He nodded.

"Congratulations on graduating," she said.

"Thank you. I hear you start nursing school this fall. That's great."

"Thanks."

The awkwardness made Yani smile.

Up until that night at Rush, a night that seemed so long ago, Yani hadn't thought too much of Zachary. The last she heard through the grapevine was that he had broken up with a girl from Jamaica who attended university on the island with him. A proper girl for his parents.

"You want another drink?"

"Sure. I'll have another Tequila Sunrise."

Yani handed him her glass and he left her side to replace it.

"Was that Zachary?"

Twyla eased up next to her.

"Yeah."

"Damn. He looks good."

"Yeah, he does."

"Mmmmm…checking him out I see—"

"No…"

"Nothing wrong with it. He was your man at one time."

"Not really."

"You wanted him to be."

She was right. Zachary was the boyfriend she wanted. Good family. Finishing school. Going places. Not a life of hand to mouth or paycheck to paycheck.

"Hi Twyla," he said handing Yani her drink.

"Zachary. How are you?"

"Good."

Twyla gave Yani a sly look and left them alone.

Yani sipped on her new drink and they both watched the dancing. By the time Twyla swung around to check on her again with their other friends, she and Zachary had relaxed enough to talk about old times and even get past Chez and that night. They drank more until Zachary reached for her hand.

"Let's dance," he said.

Yani froze.

She felt good getting past the terrible night. She felt good being able to catch up with Zachary. She didn't feel good about dancing because she sensed old feelings coming over her. The liquor had her loose, and the weed from earlier was still in her system, and it was making her feel soft and clingy. She felt herself tearing up.

"Yani…you okay?"

Zachary's concerned eyes and voice made water fall from her lids.

"I've just been going through a lot lately."

He took her hand and held it.

"Do you want to sit down and talk about it?"

She shook her head. His eyes stayed on her.

"Is it Chez?"

"No…I just…I was seeing someone and I think we broke up—"

"You think you broke up?"

"Yeah. I think I was ghosted. We haven't talked in weeks. And I don't know what's happening—"

"Let's just dance. Music is too good to be standing here."

He tugged on her hand pulling her toward the patio dance floor.

"I can't…"

Her mouth was saying no, but her legs carried her out to the center of the floor with him. His hands slipped around her waist and they swayed together. She shook hair from her face and Zachary twirled her around and it made her laugh out loud.

"See, we can both still have fun even though we were both dumped," he said.

"Why did your girl dump you?"

"She hated my parents."

Yani cackled.

"What?"

"Your parents are mean, Zachary. Your mom hated me—"

"She didn't hate you, she actually liked you."

"For true? I never saw that."

"My father was the problem. My mother has never been one to cross mi Dad."

"I thought your mother hated me because I was a single mom."

"No. She liked Sydette. How is Sweet Pea? She big now, yeah?"

"Running around—"

"What? Already?"

"Yeah. She fast too. So fast."

"That I'd like to see."

Yani's eyes went to his chest. The music was hot, bodies around them were hot and sweaty and pressing close to them, crowding them.

His hands pulled her in tighter and it felt strange to have new arms around her, to be pressed up against a man again after three weeks of being alone. Yani laid her head against his chest and tried to ignore the rapid beating of her heart.

Her man was out there lost or dead and she was dancing with a sort of ex. Worse still was the sense of comfort that being held was making her feel. Like she was protected again. Her chest shuddered and her eyes welled up again. She longed to be held in strong arms once more. She longed to be wrapped up in warmth. And love.

She had been close to falling in love with Zachary. She liked him a lot. He made her feel safe until Chez attacked him. And he ran from her. Could she really blame him? Zachary was not a fighter. No shame in not being a roughneck. He did his best to protect her with four men jumping him.

Her eyes glanced up into his face.

He had done that. Put himself out there for her that night. But then Killmonger….

Killmonger.

Like some Captain America flying in to save the day, Killmonger took care of business, and in the process, Zachary felt emasculated. Useless. A failure. Killmonger was a killer, accustomed to whooping ass on a moment's notice. Her poor Zachary was just a Uni student trying to win her heart.

Her Zacahary.

"Yani, don't cry."

She hurt all over.

"Come on, let's get off of this floor," he said.

Zachary guided her down to the beach and away from the crowd of people. She wiped at her eyes but couldn't stop the bawling coming from her mouth.

"It'll be alright, I promise…"

Zachary held her as she cried in his arms. She felt out of control.

"I want to go home."

"I can take you home."

Zachary walked with her to find Twyla and when her cousin saw her face, she was ready to leave too.

"No, stay here and have fun. Zachary is giving me a ride."

"I'll catch a ride with Bea and them. You sure you'll be okay going to the compound?" Twyla asked.

"I need to be there."

"I'll bring Sydette back in the morning.

"Thanks."

Zachary held her hand gently as they left the bar and walked to his car. She left the window down to catch a breeze and dry her tears.

He was silent as he drove her. He played soft music in the car and glanced at her every now and then.

"I didn't mean to cut your night so short," she said.

"It's okay. I just came out to clear my head. I had no set time to leave."

"Will your friends be mad you left?"

"They found women to occupy their time. No one is thinking of me."

Yani laughed.

"What if you wanted to hook up with someone?"

"I sort of did," he said.

Yani stared at him.

"I don't mean like that."

They rode up into the hills in silence and when she guided him to the compound gates, she felt a lot better.

"Thank you for the ride," she said.

Zachary looked around.

"This is where you work?"

"Yeah."

"You're alone here?"

"It's really safe. Don't worry."

He stepped out of the car with her as she walked up to the retina scanner.

"I can stay here with you if you want…I mean, if you want to talk."

"I'm good, Zachary. Thank you."

She raised her head up and kissed him on his cheek. His eyes swept down to her lips when she eased back from him.

"You're beautiful, Yani. Forgive me for being a coward."

"Yuh no coward. Shit just happens, man. That's all."

She rubbed his shoulder affectionately.

"I'm going in," she said.

"Call me anytime. We can go eat, talk…whatever, y'know? Friends?"

"Sure."

For a moment, Yani felt easy and free. Most of the evening ended up that way.

"Thank you for helping me forget some things for a little while, Zachary."

His handsome face gave her another warm smile. His gentle eyes twinkled.

Yani stepped closer to him and reached her hand up to cradle his neck. Her lips were tentative on his, just a gentle pressing together. His hands reached around her waist and she let her body lean into his, just to feel male warmth again. When he tried to slip her some tongue, she broke their contact.

"Goodnight," she said.

She waited for him to climb back into his car before she scanned her eye and entered the compound. Kicking off her heels, she carried her shoes and her tired body down to the main house. She would sleep so good tonight. Sydette wouldn't be back until the next day, so some real solid sleep for sure.

The moon was waxing and Yani decided to go down to the cove and watch the moonlight dance on the water.

Solitude.

The soothing sound of soft waves crashing. Balmy air. Peace.

The tears came again. She should've let Zachary in. She needed the distraction, but now all she could think about was Killmonger and that cold lonely bed that awaited her.

The walk up the path felt long and arduous, the sand under her feet cushioning the ache she felt from the heels she wore out dancing. Dragging herself up the wrap-around porch steps it took her a moment to notice that there were lights on inside. Her stomach dropped and she felt a sour taste in her mouth. She had shut everything off before she left—

Her feet ran before her brain could stop her, sticking her face up to the retina scanner, and bolting into the house. Scanning the space and, hoping beyond hope…

But no.

She was alone. It was just the light timers. She forgot about them. Falling to the floor in the living room, she was about to weep and have a lonesome pity party when she heard the soft patter of water.

Picking herself up off of the floor, Yani crept in silence to the master bedroom. The lights were on and there was noise in the bathroom.

Steam filled the master bathroom and Yani couldn't stop the lump in her throat.

"Killmonger."

She opened the shower door.

His naked wet body faced her.

Turning off the shower he stepped out dripping water on the floor.

"I'm not dreaming, right?"

"C'mere girl."

Her mind was feeling loopy, but his lips kissed her forehead. Yani's right hand shot out and covered her mouth and she squeezed her eyes shut.

His arms wrapped around her.

Safe.

Secure.

###

Erik entered the compound a little after nine.

She wasn't there.

He checked every inch of the place, called her on the intercom system, and scanned security feeds. She was out with the baby. He was tempted to call her on her cell, but then he checked her social media feed. Nothing new since he left. He jumped over to Kendall's TL and only saw his typical memes and links to his music. It was Twyla's feed that gave him the info he needed. Close-ups of her and Yani wearing wigs with the hashtag #GirlsNight. For a moment he thought of going out to the spot where they were, but his emotions were all over the place being back in the place of peace. He needed time to acclimate.

He rested for a bit on their bed, the scent of her still on the pillows. Assuming she would be out for most of the night, he unpacked, ate a quick sandwich, and started to undress for bed. Security sensors warned him that a car had approached the compound entrance.

Erik turned on the camera feeds from the bedroom and watched Yani step out of a car with a man.

Zachary.

They spoke for a bit and then Yani…

She kissed him.

Erik watched her fingers hold the back of Zachary's neck, saw the man wrap his arms around her waist, and his heart grew hard. His jaw clenched.

Yani took off her heels as she walked into the compound. She wiped her eyes and Erik could tell she had been crying earlier. Her face looked haunted.

Shutting off the viewers on the bedroom wall, Erik went to take a shower.

She was a good girl. His girl. His woman. He had been away far longer than he told her he would be. She went out with Twyla and probably ran into Zachary. If they were fucking, she wouldn't bring him there.

Thoughts battled in his mind trying to figure out what he could say to her. He didn't want to scare her and made sure he put some house lights on so that she would be aware that he was home.

Water ran down his back and the steam enveloped everything. His muscles relaxed and when he heard her voice, he exhaled hard. She opened the shower and he stepped out to face her at last. Yani shook so hard in his arms. Her wet tears mixed with the wetness on his chest, and he felt his own tears fall.

"Told you I was coming back."

"You took too long, Killmonger."

She slapped his chest with her hands and he lifted her up and carried back into the bedroom. Yani's arms flung around his neck and she squeezed him so tight he thought she would never let him go. Lips joined together, their first kiss on his return was sweeter than the first time he ever kissed her.

He set her down next to the bed but they clung to one another.

"Where's my baby girl?"

"Auntie's. Twyla will bring her back in the morning."

Erik kissed the side of her neck and her hands felt on his arms.

"You not hurt?" she asked.

"I'm fine—"

"What's that?"

She touched a long healing wound on his left side where he had been cut with a knife from the South African raid.

"A scratch."

Her lips still trembled. He touched the hair on the wig she wore.

"Disguising yourself from me?"

"Twyla. Beach party."

"You have fun?"

"Yeah."

He stepped back and looked at the dress she had on.

"This what they wear at the club now?"

"Told you it was a beach party. You no like?"

"I like anything you have on."

He lifted up her chin and kissed her again.

"Sit," he said plopping down on the bed.

He threaded his fingers with hers and held her hand on his thigh.

"I'm sorry…I scared you. I had to stay longer."

"I thought—"

"You don't have to say it."

"I can't do that again. Not knowing almost killed me."

"I'm here—"

"It was hard. For me and the baby. Every time we go somewhere she thinks you're coming to get her, and I had to tell her I don't know where you are—"

She covered her face with her hands and he pulled her in close.

"I won't be going anywhere any time soon. I have a lot of work ahead of me. Good news though…"

Her eyes raised up to meet his.

"What good news?"

"Klaue's not coming back here until November—"

"What?!"

"We can be together longer—"

She jumped on him so fast that he fell back from the momentum of her body.

"I still have to fulfill some jobs before then, some quick trips to the states and the states only, but…I can stay here."

She lavished his face with kisses and he ran his fingers up and down her back.

"This thing is kinda thin, ain't it?"

"Shut up."

"I missed you so much, baby."

"Me too.

###

The sun kissed her face and Erik just watched Yani sleep next to him.

He was still nude and she was too after showering from the night before. His sleep was sporadic. He often woke up thinking he was still in South Africa, and his body jerked hard only to realize he was back where he was supposed to be. Yani slept through every waking moment, and he was grateful that she could rest. She had carried a huge weight on her spirit while he was gone. All he wanted to do now was ease her back into comfort.

He only watched her all night, his hands pious on her even though his blood thrummed hot in his body for her physically. Her revealing dress was too much for his eyes, but he contained himself, eager to hold her and feel her heart beating on his chest.

Touching the waves in her hair, Erik ran his finger along her cheek and down her neck.

"Do you know how much I love you?"

Her deep breathing made him happy. How much rest had she lost worrying about him?

Pressing his lips to her forehead, he felt her stir and awaken.

"Morning," he said.

"Morning."

She kissed him back and he moved closer to her, their kisses deepening. Her tongue probed his mouth and he let her lead the reunion of their lips. Her sighs comforted him as her soft kisses primed him for more.

His fingers drifted down to her swollen breasts. Her nipples were already hard before he even touched them, and her eyes were dreamy staring up at him. Lowering his face, he latched onto a nipple and let nature do the rest. Yani's eyes watched him lap up her milk, his tongue moving between both nipples. He squeezed them to watch milk dribble down her chest before flattening his tongue to lick every inch of her breasts.

"Kill—"

Yani's mewling voice made his dick twitch. She opened her legs for him and he moved down her torso to lick between her legs.

The sun warmed his back as his face became smothered by Yani's thighs wrapping around his head.

"Go easy on me, girl."

"Come here."

He lifted up from her apex and hovered above her. Her fingers gripped his manhood and he groaned from the anticipation of entering her after all this time. When he sunk into her completely, he thought his heart would stop. Tight wet heat engulfed his shaft and when she squeezed him, his head dropped down to her neck.

Her waist swiveled and he matched her pace. Lifting up on his elbows, his eyes gazed into hers. His mouth fell open and stayed that way as he stroked her walls.

"You so good…"

The words tumbled out as his ass cheeks clenched while pumping into her slowly. He needed to be in her deeper and pushed her legs so far back that her ankles were almost by her ears. He locked her in place but kept his eyes on her. Her wet heat made him lose his breath and he couldn't even talk shit to her. His fists pressed down by her sides and his strong thighs smashed down harder on hers.

"Daddy—"

"Hold on, girl…don't cum yet…please… not yet…you doing so good baby…"

His eyes bore down on her face. She had stopped moving because he was stroking her so fierce.

"Ah fuck, Yani!"

He swelled inside of her and gasped at the hard spurts that his body shot into her. Her arms shot out and grabbed for his shoulders as her pelvis bucked into his.

"Damn…you squeezing my shit!" he shouted.

"Fill this pussy up…please…"

Her eyes rolled back and Erik collapsed on her.

Gulping for air, they both clutched onto one another. The smell of her, the taste of her, the feel of her…his heart rattled against her chest as sweat drenched them both.

"You try to kill me every time," he said.

The security system gave a new alert. Someone was at the front gate.

"Twyla. She has Sydette."

Erik threw on some jeans and a shirt and padded up to the entrance.

"Open Gate," he called out and the main gate rolled open.

Twyla stood with Sydette in her arms.

"You're here," Twyla said, her face looking surprised. She grinned.

"Sweet Pea!" Erik said.

Sydette heard his voice and her whole body wiggled. Twyla put her down and the baby ran to him.

Erik scooped her up and held her high in the air, her little orange dress blowing around her legs.

"Look at you running!"

"Baba!"

Erik felt his chest swell. She didn't forget him. He pulled her down onto his hip.

"Yani's still resting," he said.

"Uh huh…"

"Yeah. I got back in late."

"Mmmhmm."

"Thank you for bringing her."

Twyla handed Erik Sydette's baby bag and sauntered back to her Aunt's car.

"Glad you're back, Killmonger. They both missed you a lot."

He nodded.

"Tell Yani hey for me. Enjoy your rest time."

"I will."

"Baba home!"

Sydette patted his face and gave him a kiss on his cheek.

"Yeah, Sweet Pea. Baba's home. Baba's home."

Erik turned to take Sydette back to Yani, but he heard the sound of another car pulling up. Turning to look, he was surprised to see Zachary stepping out. Zachary's face looked just as perplexed to see Erik too. Holding Yani's baby.

"Yani here?"

"She's sleep."

Erik kept his voice neutral. He shifted Sydette in his arms and stood firm.

"I just came to check on her—"

"What are you doing here, Zachary?"

Yani padded over barefoot in a tank top and jeans.

"Came to see how you were doing. You had a rough night."

"She's good now," Erik said.

Yani's eyes darted between the two of them. Her eyes seemed to be pleading with him to be cool.

"I'm fine, Zachary. Thanks for checking on me. I appreciate it."

"My offer still stands. Call me if you want to go eat or anything?"

Erik glared at Zachary and then his eyes sought out Yani's. She wouldn't look at him.

"Bye Zachary," she said.

Zachary's bold eyes looked Erik up and down before he slipped behind the wheel of his car and drove off. The compound gate rolled shut.

Yani's eyes finally glanced his way. Sheepish. Guilty even.

He had been willing to let what he saw the previous night slide between them because he had been gone for so long and it looked innocent.

But now…

"It's not what you think," she said.

"Tell me what I'm thinkin' then."

"Baba!"

Sydette tried to make his face look at her and he did.

Let it go.

Erik nibbled on Sydette's fingers.

"I'll make breakfast," he said.

Relief came across Yani's face.

He put Sydette down and they all walked back down to the main house. He laughed watching Sydette run in front of him.

"Slow down," Yani said.

"Ooh!" Sydette squealed.

Jerome sat in the walkway blocking again.

"Ju-wome, move!" Sydette waved her hands at him.

They ended up walking around the iguana. Jerome would never change.

Entering their temporary home, Erik watched Yani open windows as Sydette ran to pick up her rag doll to show him. It was new. He picked it up and made a fuss over it, and Sweet Pea clapped her hands and he handed it back to her. The sway in Yani's hips caught his eye and he felt heat in his chest. Zachary coming back bugged the hell out of him. Especially when it was Yani who initiated the kiss with him.

He couldn't let it go.

"What that nigga come back for?"

###

Chp. 17 Here

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[zellybelly]

Bloody Hell (Part 2)

Part 2!!

Does anyone know how to do links? I want to make it easier for the people reading my two series

The gates were right there. Just a few yards away.

Her knees felt weak and trembled with each step. Step wasn’t ever the right word. She could barely get her feet up, dragging them across the ground. Eventually, after only a few more drags closer, her knees gave out.

She was too slow to catch herself, falling onto the dirt. She did manage to turn her head to her cheek hit the ground and not her nose. She groaned. Tiny hands helped her onto her knees, holding her shoulder. Her hands were underneath her, but her arms were shaking, they wouldn’t hold out much longer. “Clementine!” AJ’s frantic voice called to her. She was shaken by her shoulders and felt hi lightly hit her face, “Keep your eyes open.” 

With his help, she laid down on her side, opposite from the bullet wounds. She watched him go up to the fence and call out for help.

She groaned, feeling her brain pounding in her head. Everything seemed so hot, and so cold at the same time. She wanted to lean into the ground, seeking its coolness, but it also burned her skin.

Eventually, she just gave into the darkness looming in her vision. Any strength she had left was gone. Her head fell to the ground.

Louis was looking down at his deck of cards. Just three days ago... everything was fine. And now... they lost four- two people in one day. And they sent the other two away.  Probably to their deaths.

Guilt flared up in his heart. He squeezed his eyes shut.

As soon as the sun had set, he had found himself looking for that familiar blue and white hat, ready to offer up another game of cards. But the realization hit him so hard, it was like someone had actually slapped him.

Then the anger sunk in. He remembered it all. They way the light drained from his best friend’s eyes, when just a second ago, they had been filled with hope. Clem told him that he could start over, and she would be by his side to help him. And then. He was dead...

“Violet! Louis! They came back!” He looked up from his place on the couch. She set down the cards and walked over to the gates.

He narrowed his eyes when he saw AJ at the gates... but his frown disappeared when he saw... Clementine wasn’t beside him. He strolled up to the gates and looked at the kid.

“Where’s Clem?” The words in his throat died when he looked past AJ. She was lying on the ground, still, and her shirt and jacket were colored with a dark scarlet. 

“Please! You have to help her! She might die!” AJ pleaded to him. It was necessary, almost as soon as he saw her the gate was open and he ran to her side.

He first checked for a pulse and found one quickly. It was slow and weak though. Her eyes were closed, but he could see a sliver of her amber eyes. They were dull, but not in the way that meant she was dead.

The blood... There was so much. It was all on her left side, everywhere. His throat stung with bile from the amount of blood. Even though it’s been almost 10 years since the world went to hell, the sight of blood made him sick. Or maybe it was the sight of human blood. Blood from the living or dying.

He slipped his arms under her back and knees and lifted her into his arms. Her head hung limply against his upper arm. He walked past AJ and through the gates. When AJ closed the gates behind them, they headed straight for the admin building.

No one put up any arguments about helping Clem. Maybe except Willy, but the kid said nothing. They brought her upstairs and laid her down on a couch. When he looked at her again, he almost smiled. She looked like she was asleep, peaceful, deep within a dream.

He turned around while Ruby patched her up. It was a surprise to find out that the bullets were already removed, and duct tape was wrapped around the wounds. 

AJ quickly told them. A man had helped them, his name was James. 

They all jumped when they heard the cracked yelp. They turned to see that Clem was awake, and she had launched up, curling around her wounds. They saw the alcohol and cloth in Ruby’s hands. She must’ve been trying to clean the wound.

“Louis? Can you come and hold down her arms, AJ, get her legs.” The redhead ordered them. 

Since AJ was little, he crawled onto her legs, hoping his weight was enough. With some hesitance, Louis placed his hands on Clem’s shoulders. Seeing her eyes on him made his face heat up.

Her amber eyes bore into his soul.

Even though they knew each other for less than a week, he felt like they could’ve known each other for years. They just clicked together. Always had a comeback to his snarky flirtations. 

Her eyes squeezed closed when Ruby pressed the cloth back to the wounds. He could feel her shaking underneath him. 

It was over quickly, and Ruby had the boys turn around to bandage the wound. Ruby told Louis to keep an eye on her, while she took AJ to get cleaned up and to get some food in his stomach. 

He watched over her for maybe thirty or so minutes. She slept most of the time. That was good, whatever she went through must’ve been exhausted. 

When she opened her eyes, she tried to stand. Her eyes closed and her chest heaved with deep breaths as she sat up. He helped her to stand, though he did earn a good glare for it. 

They met up with Vi in the office and they were caught up on everything. Clem insisted she could stand by herself, so he let go, but he did stay close in case. She told them everything: who Lily was, why they weren’t together, James, and the raider’s plan to attack.

The thought of people coming into their home to steal them made him sick. He crossed his arms and looked to the ground. 

With the map of the school, Clem went over a plan with them. All she really needed was some barbed wire from the greenhouse.

She was right in the middle of explaining when the door was slammed open. “Okay, what the hell is going on?” It was Mitch. Though she could’ve already guessed from the yelling. He pointed an accusing finger at her and she responded with a glare. “Willy told me she was back, but I was like, no way, Violet wouldn’t just go against what we all decided.” 

Violet cut him off, “Not all of us voted for them to leave! Remember!” 

Ruby opened the door just then, and her shoulders relaxed when she saw Clem. “There you are. Sent AJ to Tenn, go draw with him. Now, what are you doing up? You’ll make it worse.” She tsked her.

Clem shrugged it off, “I’ve been through worse. Got a bullet right in the shoulder,” She tapped the joint area, “then got into a car crash during a blizzard. Wasn’t pretty.” Everyone just gaped at her. Right, she forgot she had worse experiences than most. 

“Still, you need to rest and let the painkillers-”

“So we’re giving them our medicine now too?”

That was when Louis stepped in. “Dude, back off. You rather we let her die out there?” He pushed Mitch’s shoulder. She wasn’t sure if he was aware he had stepped in front of her like he was guarding her or something. 

So did Violet, “Mitch, those raiders are coming to attack the school. We need her help.” She stressed.

But like everyone, Mitch was stubborn, “Like hell we do. For all we know, she’s one of them.”

“Then why would they shoot her like they did!?” Louis snapped. The room was silent for a moment. She didn’t expect that. “Why would they try to kill her if she were one of them?” “I dunno, maybe she put a bullet in someone’s head.” 

That was it for her. She pushed past Violet and Louis, ignoring the tingling from her wound. Within a second there was a loud slap that echoed through the halls. Mitch’s face was to the side, and his cheek was already turning red. Clem stared at him through amber daggers. 

“Fuck you, Mitch. You have no clue what I have been throughout there, so stop acting like I shoot everyone I see.” Ruby came up by her and led her to a seat so she could sit down and relax her muscles. 

“Besides, if you had seen the way their leader had her boot on Clem’s neck, you’d know she wasn’t one of them.” “Regardless,” God, when was this kid going to give up? “all I know is that since she came here it’s been trouble.”

“Clem’s going to the greenhouse to find barbed wire and anything else she thinks we need for the fight, and you’re going to help her.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are. It’s dangerous for her to go alone, especially with her wound, and you’re good in a fight.” Violet had backed Mitch up to the door. Clem could see the gears turning in his head, and it seemed like he was slowly giving up. But not without a fight.

“I can go too. You know, to keep the peace.” Ruby offered.

“Me too. Need all the hands we can get.” Louis joined in, his hands on his hips. She looked up at him surprised. Considering how cold and mad he had been towards her, she assumed that he hated her. But this... he wasn’t being forced like Mitch.

Speaking of, “Fuck, Vi. Since when are you the one making the calls?” Mitch shoved her shoulder.

Violet turned her back, took a few steps and looked back at him, “Since no one else stood the fuck up.” Mitch took in a breath. Seems like he finally caved in. “You two,” She looked to Louis and Clem, “head over to the greenhouse, these two will meet you there once I’ve explained everything.”

Louis helped her to stand, placing an arm around her waist and allowing her to lean on him to walk.

Clem exchanged a nasty look with Mitch before she left the room with Louis. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. This would be awkward.

Thus concludes part 2, not sure how many parts each episode will have, but I’m shooting for 4-5

I hope you enjoyed. (If you know anything about links for the previous and future chapters please let me know I would appreciate it.)

[halloweenen]

Waltz Ch.1

[rarestereocats]

recap of thursday’s session of the crusades campaign!

Our desert adventure continues with us learning of a small village a little ways out from the city celebrating a Festival of Whispers.  It's a celebration of the solstice as well as the old gods,  so with the suggestion of a little sight-seeing,  we decide to go check it out.  On the way,  Elathera has a thanks me for helping her start to overcome her fear of heights and asks if I have a fear like that.  I tell her about how scared of fire I am,  so she tells me to close my eyes,  which is incredibly concerning to hear when it comes to conversations about overcoming fears via exposure;  but she is my friend and I trust her not to immediately thrust me into some flames for good measure.  She casts a contingency spell on me to aid with said fear,  but doesn't say anything even when I open my eyes and ask about.  She mentions something about a pretty nasty sandstorm rolling in,  but she took care of it before it hit us and I don't know enough about magic or weather to dispute that.

So after being proud of my friend from totally stopping us from sudden death (really,  it'd be a mild inconvenience to us with how powerful we are),  we roll up into this small village and immediately throw ourselves into the festivities.  We get some delicious treats,  play some games,  and me and Elathera manage to get lost in a labyrinth built for children for three hours. Being that we're both the least intelligent members of this group and considering our history of going off on our own,  is anyone surprised?  Even still,  while the others are wandering around the village and gathering information,  we try and convince them later that we were absolutely doing the same and totally didn't almost get trapped in aforementioned labyrinth.  There was a ghostly illusion inside that warned us we wouldn't get out and dear fucking gods,  she was almost right.

The festivities continue with some snowberry juice,  fireworks,  and the village elder telling us an intriguing tale around the campfire.  He pulls out a stony mask and passes it around as he tells us the tale of it and the being it once belonged to,  Lochoria.  Elathera detects that there's powerful magic tied to it and as the elder recounts a tale of the goddess,  Bibiana,  creating a pocket of timelessness and peace within the material plane,  we're all thinking of finding this place ourselves.  But as the legend states,  the mask was either cast out or stolen away,  forever cursing that pocket dimension and now the once beautiful paradise lies in ruins.  Allegedly returning the mask to that land would revive it,  so after the story is over,  Industria convinces the elder to let us borrow the mask in an effort to find out where this hidden city lies.

Everybody else heads back to the carriage to inspect the mask and perform a ritual on it to gather information,  but me and Lucky decide to go wandering.  True to the festival's name,  I'm treated to some seemingly ominous whispering in my ear;  "The time for revelation is nigh.  Only those who dwell in the shadows may see the unseen.  That which holds the most truth is always spoken with a stony face.  If you will not,  it will wear you.".  Cryptic as shit and the minute I tell Lucky,  they look a little alarmed and suggest we head back to the others.  Meanwhile,  Elathera and Industria are trying to figure out how to get even more information on this thing and figure we should go visit an old ally we haven't seen since our early days in the war.  The Xanter.  We decide to rest up for the night and everybody is plagued by whispers or strange,  unsettling dreams that all seem to tie back to the mask.

Come morning,  we teleport back to familiar enough territory and the Xanter kicks everything off by warning us never to step foot into the Feywild again as people there are less than pleased with us cuz of our previous visit long ago.  The minute we pull the mask out,  the Xanter is surprised and asks how we got it,  stating that the mask belongs to Iolond,  a god associated with fey.  If we bring this mask and return it to the Feywild,  it would help us get back in good graces with them,  but we're still adamant on returning it to the lost city.  After he takes a look at it and deems it to be without a curse,  we of course,  start to play around with it.  Industria puts it on first,  helping us realize the mask makes somebody pretty much non-existent to everyone.  With her permission,  I slap the mask on next and I'm treated to the sight of a mostly featureless being with a charming smile standing before me.  It presses a finger to its lips and then fades from existence.

Clearly startled by this,  I quickly take it off and hand it to Elathera and tell her to tell me if she sees anything out of the ordinary.  She picks up on a trace of magic left behind by the being and traces where it teleported to.  The being bounced into the land of the gods,  Atmeos,  before leaving that void again.  She suggests teleporting in there to find it,  but Industria warns that we can't travel freely into there without the risk of dying on the spot.  So I reluctantly put the mask back on and call out to the being,  surprised when it actually shows back up.  It tells me I'm the one in the shadows and tells me to seek out what can't be found by its kind and with that,  disappears again.  We manage to piece together that I spoke to Iolond itself and it's clear it wants us to find this lost city.  The Xanter points us in the right direction and off we go.

With the mask guiding me along and Elathera guiding the others as she's the only one who can see me when it's on,  we find a portal once we teleport back into the desert.  The mask is the key to activating it,  so I peek inside,  realizing the portal immediately goes into a 500 foot drop to the ruins below.  I try to warn everyone,  but Elathera steps through without waiting,  nearly falling to her death.  With everyone else getting down safely,  that leaves me and Jordeira.  I don't like the thought of having to sit so close to him on the flying carpet so with no witnesses,  I head into the portal on the carpet without him,  leaving him no choice but to take the fall...literally.  He hits the ground hard enough to detach his own arm,  making Elathera flip the fuck out and Industria race to fix it,  but before she can;  he's angrily throwing it my way.  After the little spat and my innocence maintained cuz nobody can prove I did anything wrong,  he stitches it back on and we make our way into the city.

With the mask,  I can see it's crawling with ghosts and I hate every minute of this.  Industria can also see all the ghosts and I watch in horror as one latches onto her and shoves her soul from her body,  taking it for themselves.  With new life,  it's panicking,  but also eager to get food before bursting into tears and Elathera's not sure what's going on;  so she tells the others they should leave right away.  They all take off back towards the portal and I stay behind with Industria's spirit,  who calls out to the others to tell them what happened.  As they all tackle that issue,  more and more ghosts are surrounding me and in a fit of panic,  I take off as I don't wanna be the next victim of body snatching and hide out in a relatively ghost free house.  Once the others find me,  we decide to skip on trying to help these damned souls and head straight for the castle...which surprise!  Has more ghosts.

Once inside though,  we decide not to explore the castle to the fullest and with a clairvoyance bead I won from the three hour labyrinth excursion the day before,  a magic thread leads us to the previous owner of the mask.  We find Lochoria,  barely holding on and she invites us inside her room to share the truth of the situation.  She is the daughter of Bibiana and Iolond,  after the trickster god took the form of Altamere to get with her.  Bibiana was angry and embarrassed that she was tricked and hid this from the other gods,  locking Lochoria away in a pocket dimension,  handing her Iolond's mask which would keep her perfectly hidden from anyone.  But with Lochoria technically being a goddess,  she needed followers in order to survive.  With her power waning,  she cast the mask out in the hopes it would drag more people her way,  but in the end;  all it did was destroy the city around her and curse its inhabitants.

She doesn't want to be trapped her any longer,  so after some deliberating,  we decide we'll free her.  But walking an unknown goddess out onto the material plane could cause a war of massive proportions,  so in a startling twist,  we approach this situation cautiously.  Me and Industria head back up to Heaven to ask for Sabella's permission to turn Lochoria loose and it turns out that even she didn't know about her.  She seems shocked,  but asks us to bring the girl to her,  so with Tacitus in tow,  we head back to the city to pick her up.  Before we slip back inside,  I have a brief conversation with Iolond to make sure that this is what it wanted us to find and do.  With its reassurance that we're doing exactly as it wants,  we grab Lochoria and the rest of our group and head back up to Heaven to rest.

[andinewton]

Healing the Hurt - Avengers Redemption Series - Part Two - Chapter 53 - Epilogue 1 Continued

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Amelia Richards (OFC), pretty much everyone from the MCU appears at some point!

Pairings: Bucky x Amelia (ofc)

Warnings:  Chronic pain, physical disability, implied smut, eventual smut, swearing, fertility issues, pregnancy, angst with a happy ending, Stark has a heart.

Word Count:  151372 (complete with additional epilogues added)

Summary: 
Everything is going well at Avengers Tower, Bucky is integrating into the team slowly but surely; he longs for his confidence back but knows it's going to be a long road, never more than when he meets the new secretary at his doctor's office.

Amelia Richards is a career SHIELD agent, recruited straight out of college into the "company" but now she finds herself passed around from department to department, her latest position as a secretary at Avengers Tower proving monotonous compared to her former life, but when James "Bucky" Barnes walks into her office one Friday evening everything changes…

Join Bucky as he rediscovers parts of himself he had thought long lost with someone who considered herself broken for a long time, helping one another heal in more ways than one…

Master List

Chapter 53 - Epilogue 1 continued

Summary:  Amelia and Tony mutually geek out, Bucky and Amelia go to lunch, Bucky still forgets how his mouth works...

By the time Bucky got home Amelia was asleep. She looked peaceful and her colour had returned, which he took as a good sign. He crawled into bed beside her and kissed her hair as she snuggled up to him instinctively. He had an early start in the morning, training starting at four, thanks to some bantering with Sam that got out of hand, but he would leave Amelia a note, letting her know he would pick her up for lunch at one. Amelia made sure she dressed pretty for today, normally it was pretty casual in Tony’s lab, jeans and t’s being ample in the air conditioned room, but instead she went for a red floral wrap dress with a belt and red heeled sandals. It didn’t go unnoticed by Tony when she arrived, she got a wolf whistle and he got the finger.

‘What are we all dressed up for, Angel?’ He asked as she plugged in her laptop. ‘Lunch date with Bucky.’ She replied. ‘And you’re trying to give him a heart attack?’ ‘I wanted to look nice.’ She frowned at his playful teasing. ‘You do that.’ He said as he passed her, picking up the envelope she brought with her as she did every morning. The time seemed to drag up until lunchtime and she was grateful what she now knew was morning sickness had been partially staved off by some more of the weird ginger tea Nat had introduced her to and some plain cookies. ‘Why don’t you leave early?’ Tony suggested as he ran his eyes over the data she had just decoded from a recent mission. ‘No point, I’m meeting Bucky at one.’ ‘Then take a long lunch, don’t come back until you’re ready.’ ‘You’re sure?’ ‘You work hard enough as it is, plus I have your password, so I can carry on, if you don’t mind?’ ‘You memorised it?’ She laughed, wondering if that was the case. She had only told him once and he had never mentioned it again since. ‘Sure, I think I worked all the references out.’ ‘Go on then.’ She sat back in her chair and folded her arms, interested to see if he was right. ‘Okay, forty-two, the ultimate question. Correct?’ ‘Correct.’ She nodded. ‘R2d2 is obvious, just have to remember where the upper and lower case is. Order 66, nasty that, lot of good jedi met their end.’ She chuckled as he offered her a blueberry which she refused. ‘Nine, members of the fellowship? Or your favourite doctor?’ ‘First one.’ She grinned. ‘Keep going, you’re on a roll.’ ‘Okay, this one I was stuck on. Nora? Or is it initials for something?’ ‘Lead female character in Pete’s Dragon.’ ‘Dammit, of course.’ He walked a small circle before coming back to face her. ‘3791; rings of power. Three for the elves, seven for the dwarves, nine for the men and one to rule them all.’ ‘You’re impressing me, Stark.’ ‘221B. Baker street. Easy. And ohana means family. Nobody gets left behind.’ ‘Or forgotten.’ She finished. ‘And?’ ‘And a one.’ He pulled a face. ‘That wasn’t just a random number to make it up to thirty characters?’ ‘Oh, Tony, you let me down.’ She said as she hopped off her chair and picked up her bag. ‘You going to tell me?’ He asked as she hit a few keys before turning back to him. ‘I will, but only because you impressed me so much working it out.’ She leant in and kissed his cheek. ‘There can be only one.’ She murmured against his skin and jumped when he yelled; ‘Dammit! Highlander! Seriously?’ ‘You were so close.’ She grinned as she went for the door. ‘I swear if you weren’t so attached to that super soldier you’d be my ideal date.’ ‘We have enough nerd nights as it is.’ She reminded him. ‘And if we tried dating I’d probably murder you in your sleep.’ ‘I’m not that bad.’ He complained. ‘That’s not what Pepper says at girls night!’ She called back.

Bucky had showered and thrown on fresh blue jeans and a white t-shirt. He hoped he looked good; freshly shaven and wearing the cologne Amelia had bought him for his birthday, he hadn’t wanted to overdress and give something away but equally he wanted her to…what, exactly? She loved him, he didn’t need to impress her, but he still wanted to. Wanted her to know he could polish up nicely for her. She loved him even in sweats, but he thought this deserved something of an effort. He spotted Amelia across the lobby, she was wearing the red dress he loved so much and he smiled as she waved, her phone pressed to her ear. ‘I promise I will let you know what he says as soon as I can!’ She said rapidly, knowing Nat had her on speaker so Wanda could hear too. ‘He’s here now. I have to go!’ She hung up before they could start picking at her with more questions and smiled as Bucky reached her, leaning in and kissing her softly. ‘How are you doing, sweetheart?’ He asked as his arm automatically wrapped around her. ‘Better than yesterday. How were the fireworks?’ ‘Not as beautiful as you.’ He started them walking towards the exit. ‘I watched from Nat’s balcony.’ She explained. ‘We could have done that together. From our balcony, I mean.’ ‘But it was Steve’s birthday and as he’s your bestie you stuck it out with him.’ She squeezed him to her. ‘He appreciated it.’ Bucky smiled. Angelo welcomed them to the restaurant, he was always pleased to see them and they had become regulars, even allowing them a large tab which they paid off monthly with a substantial tip, and as always, when they were seated, he brought them a single rose in a stem glass as though to help with the romantic atmosphere, not that they needed it. They still sat in the same seats they had the first time they came here together and laughed just as much. Amelia wanted to wait until after they had eaten to tell him, she wasn’t sure why, but it seemed the right thing to do, at least let him enjoy his meal before she broke it to him. She picked at her food, having chosen something simple and eating as much as she could before giving up, both mild nausea and nerves shaking her. Finally Angelo cleared their plates and she kept her hands in her lap even once they were alone again and she noted Bucky checked his pockets, possibly wanting to clear their tab as it was the beginning of a new month. ‘So, I kind of wanted us to have lunch so we could talk. About something.’ She said as he frowned. ‘Sure, darlin’, what’s up?’ He asked halfheartedly as his heart sank. Where the hell was his wallet? He had it when he was in the meeting, then he got showered and changed and…it was in his other pants. Shit! ‘The girls and I, we realised something yesterday, and it’s kind of big…are you okay?’ She frowned at his confused expression. ‘Forgot my wallet. No big deal, really.’ He leant on the table with his elbows giving her his full attention. He was annoyed at himself for forgetting but he would do it later, he would make sure of it. ‘I can settle the tab this month.’ She reminded him they took it in turns. ‘It’s all good. You were saying?’ ‘Oh, yeah.’ She sort of half laughed. ‘Well, something’s happened, and it’s rather unexpected, but I think it’s a good thing.’ Her voice was almost questioning, as though she wasn’t sure and that made him frown. ‘Is everything okay, doll?’ ‘Yeah, I think so, but, it turns out that blocked tubes are no match for super soldier sperm and the healing serum.’ He stared at her for a moment and swallowed, finally only able to say; ‘What?’ ‘Turns out I’m pregnant.’ She said quietly, unsure how he was taking the news. She was…they were going to have a baby? Holy shit! This was amazing, this was the best news he had ever had, this was…he had to propose, now. He needed that ring. Without saying another word he got up from the table and walked out of the restaurant, pulling his phone from his pocket as he reached the door and calling up Steve’s number. ‘What…just…happened?’ Amelia murmured to herself as she saw Bucky disappear out of sight in front of the building. Before she could even begin to get her head around it her phone in her bag beeped her message tone and she pulled it out, seeing Nat’s number and just one word; Well? She unlocked the phone and called Nat’s number, her heart sinking as what had happened took hold. ‘What did he say?’ Nat asked rapidly as soon as she answered. ‘Nothing.’ Amelia said simply, amazed by how empty her voice sounded. ‘Nothing, what do you mean nothing?’ Wanda’s voice came next. ‘I mean he got up and he walked out. Never said a thing.’ ‘He did…why that…’ A torrent of Russian curse words followed as Wanda evidently took the phone from the furious Nat. ‘You mean he left you there?’ Wanda asked. ‘Yep. Still sitting at the table like nobby-no-mates. Just a second.’ She waved Angelo over and handed him her credit card. ‘Angelo, can I settle up our tab, please?’ He took it and bustled off to the counter. ‘Wanda, what do I do?’ She asked in desperation. ‘She wants to know what to do.’ Wanda said to Nat and she snatched her phone back. ‘I’ll tell you what you do, you walk out of that restaurant with your head held high, you go around the corner and walk until you find that little deli we went to the first time we met. You wait there, we’ll pick you up, and if I see James Buchanan Barnes on the way so help him I will…’ ‘We’ll see you real soon.’ Wanda’s voice came back on the line then hung up. Walk to the deli. She could do that now. It wasn’t far and she wasn’t likely to bump into anyone she knew, she hoped. She got up, headed to the counter to add her tip and collect her card, then thanked Angelo for their food, all the while her stomach churning enough to make her wish she hadn’t eaten at all.

Bucky ran down the sidewalk as he called Steve, knowing he was on The Avengers floor, and the second he picked up he spoke. ‘Punk, I left my wallet in my black jeans, you have to get it. Now!’ ‘You’re a forgetful son of a bitch, I swear.’ Steve laughed. ‘How far did you get? Down on one knee?’ ‘Shut up, jerk! Just hurry!’ Bucky snapped, in no mood for Steve’s teasing, and that concerned his friend. ‘What happened?’ Steve asked as he rushed to Amelia and Bucky’s room, letting himself in and searching for Bucky’s jeans, which he thankfully had left on the bed. ‘She just told me she’s pregnant!’ Bucky sputtered. ‘Holy shit!’ ‘That’s what I thought!’ Bucky ran his hand into his hair. ‘That’s…amazing! What did you say to her?’ ‘What did I what?’ Bucky said as he began to realise what he had done. ‘What did you say?’ ‘I didn’t say anything.’ ‘You didn’t say anything?’ Steve repeated as he palmed the wallet and headed back out the door. ‘So what did you do? Just leave her sitting in Angelo’s?’ ‘Uh…kinda.’ Bucky said hesitantly as he turned back towards the restaurant. ‘You, my friend, are an asshole, as Sigyn would say. Get your butt back in there now! I’ll bring the wallet!’ ‘Right!’ Bucky said and hung up, running back down the street. What the hell had he been thinking? She needed some kind of response! He got in the door in time to see a waitress clearing the rest of their table, no sign of Amelia there or at the counter. He spotted Angelo among the tables and went straight to him. ‘Hey, Angelo, is Amelia in the bathroom?’ ‘She left, about two minutes after you did.’ The old man said in confusion. It was unlike them to leave separately. ‘Damn. Thanks.’ He headed back to the door and pulled his phone back out, calling Steve again. ‘She’s gone.’ ‘What did you expect? Her to sit there and wait for you to pull your head out of your ass? Ask FRIDAY to locate her Stark Phone.’ ‘Right.’ Bucky hung up and did as Steve suggested, standing out in the street and asking the interface to locate her. ‘Sorry, Tin Man, Amelia has turned off the tracker in her phone.’ ‘I didn’t think that was possible.’ He groaned as he saw Steve coming towards him. ‘It’s not meant to be.’ The AI replied. ‘Great, can you ask Tony to try reenable it for me?’ ‘Sure thing.’ He shoved the phone back in his pocket and sighed as he rubbed his hand over his jaw. ‘You’re a fucking idiot.’ Steve said as he slapped the wallet against his chest. ‘Yeah, yeah. I know.’ ‘Any luck with FRIDAY?’ ‘You know Amelia.’ ‘She shut off the tracker.’ Steve said knowingly. ‘I asked FRIDAY to see if Tony can reenable it. If anyone can, he can.’ ‘If she didn’t lock him out too. Girl's a genius, remember.’ Steve said. ‘She didn’t pass you on the street?’ ‘I don’t think so.’ He turned a circle and couldn’t see a sign of her, and in that red dress he thought he should be able to. ‘You lost your girl. Literally.’ ‘Shit.’ ‘You can say that again.’

Nat and Wanda picked Amelia up in one of the unmarked SHIELD SUV’s at the deli and drove away without a word. It was only when they reached the interstate that Nat spoke, asking exactly what happened. Amelia explained it all emotionlessly, her voice empty, as though she couldn’t quite process it, and only when they pulled up into the grounds of the compound that she realised where they were. ‘What are we doing here?’ She asked as they got out and headed towards the door. ‘You have clothes here, everything you might need. You can pack some things and go wherever you want to, if you need some time away. And it will give me a chance to hunt that bastard down and…’ ‘Natasha!’ Wanda said harshly as they went up the stairs. ‘Just to give you some thinking space.’ ‘That’d be good.’ Amelia said quietly. They walked in silence to her room and she looked around, Bucky’s denim jacket still hanging on the back of the desk chair, and it smelled of his cologne. That did it. That broke the dam she had tried to build around herself at what was happening, and she dropped to her knees as a sob choked her. ‘Oh, Milly.’ Nat dropped down and wrapped her arms around her. ‘He’s an idiot, if he can’t see what he’s losing, and I will personally make him pay for this.’ Amelia shook her head. ‘No, Nat, it’s okay. He wasn’t expecting this. I can’t blame him for being mad. I can’t.’ ‘You can blame him for being insensitive.’ Wanda added where she leant on the door frame. ‘That was a dick move.’ Amelia sniffed a laugh at the uncharacteristic comment from Wanda. ‘It was, wasn’t it?’ ‘It really was.’ Nat wiped at her cheek. Amelia swallowed, forcing back the tears she knew would soon engulf her again. ‘Can we go somewhere else? I don’t want to be here.’ She looked around the room at all the little things that made it their room, that made it belong to both of them. ‘Get a few things. Sleepover in my room.’ Nat said as they got to their feet. ‘We can figure out where you want to be later.’ ‘Sounds good.’ Amelia gave her a watery smile, her mind already whirring as to what she might do next.

Chapter 54

[zielsvlucht]

A long rant about bugs, and how people react to them.

Someone: “Oh I love nature so much!” That same person: “Ugh I hate bugs. They’re disgusting and evil. I kill them whenever I see one.”

I heard someone say this the other day and I must say: If you are like that, then you don’t like nature at all. Because “bugs” are everywhere in nature, and they also make most of it possible in the first place. Whenever you are in nature, unless you’re standing on ice in a permanently frozen climate, you will be completely surrounded by bugs. They will be creeping under you or on you or flying past you or over you all the time. Yes they will be creeping on you, and you will not notice it at all. The times you did notice a bug on you, were freak occurrences. Here comes a long rant about bugs, or more specifically a rant about the way many people react to bugs or how they choose to perceive bugs.

As people spend less and less time outside in these modern times, less and less people are still used to bugs being all around them. Which doesn’t mean they actually encounter less bugs today. It just means that they’ve grown sort of ignorant of bugs, failing to notice their presence in many scenarios and lacking a basic understanding of these creatures – the animals we encounter the most in our lives out of all the other animals.

I may have an eye for bugs but still, it keeps astonishing me how some people are unable to spot small creatures crawling about in their own living environment. People do not notice ants in their own homes when they’re not large enough. People do not notice flies zooming in and out of the house. People do not notice spiders crawling around their house in the dark, as they are guaranteed to do every single night. When these people then suddenly do spot a bug - something that seems to only happen randomly when their gaze glosses over a bug by coincidence and it does this long enough for their idle minds to detect it – they often start acting very dramatic, not knowing what to do with this enormous menace that is barely larger than a fingertip. Meanwhile 9 out of 10 times the bug will be too small or too occupied to care about it themselves, and they’ll just continue going about their business.

But an alarmingly large number of people in this scenario will believe that something special is happening here. That this occurance is extra-ordinary and note-worthy. This is not the case, because ten similar bugs may have casually wandered by earlier that day without anyone noticing, but this person won’t know this and they will believe that this particular bug is a unique case. They will believe it must be an intruder of some kind. People will believe it is the only bug in the room, or for some reason they’ll believe it’s even the only bug in the house and they will believe that something has to be done about this. They’ll immediately believe that this bug needs to be removed so there no longer is a bug in the house (that is if we ignore all the countless other bugs that are definitely also in the house, but went unnoticed so far). Some people have this cunning ability called empathy, which will lead them to overcome their dislike for the sometimes gross appearance of the bug (bugs can appear to look gross to humans. This is natural and I agree with this.) and escort the bug outside without harming it too much. Or at the very least they will do a good effort and try to do that and I respect that. However others will just kill the bugs, and then get rid of it.

There is something disgusting and disturbing about people that kill living creatures when they could have easily avoided it and dealt with it in a more peaceful way instead. However, killing a bug is not considered a crime in our society. It is not even considered animal cruelty and it is quite acceptable to most people. So I’d say all is forgiven if people have a good excuse. Now, arachnophobia is no joke. To some, if not many, people it is a very real fear. I’d say genuine arachnophobia is a good excuse to kill bugs, although it’s an even better excuse to just ask someone else to escort the bug to the outside, but whatever. I accept this. Fears are irrational, it causes people to act irrational. It causes people to act insensitive. You’re a victim to your arachnophobia, and so is the spider, only the spider dies and you don’t. It is unfortunate but you can’t help it so it is truly an acceptable excuse. Not a good excuse of course, but definitely an acceptable one.

But the problem here is that not everyone can hide behind arachnophobia. There are just more people killing bugs then there are arachnophobic people. So why do people still kill bugs when they are not afraid of them? Because they’re still disgusting? Because even when you are not arachnophobic, you still get freaked out a little by them because you are just human after all? Possibly, but people do not have a habit of killing other animals that are kinda gross or kinda scary. You wouldn’t kill a dog if it were ugly or unsanitary, would you? Oh heavens no! I can already imagine people reading that phrase and going into a shock or something. What actual evil Hitler-like monstrous bastard would ever want to harm a dog? How dare I suggest it? Dogs are godly beings, how dare I compare them to insects or spiders? Well, I will forever wonder about this: If there were millions of stray dogs all around us, strange dogs that just wandered into your house on a daily basis. Dogs that could be sick, or that could just start eating your food - , or most likely - will just be completely harmless dogs. Imagine just a nasty dog, standing there in your kitchen being a bit in your way. What would you do about that? Dog-lovers reading this may say they would adopt that dog, which you can do with dogs and that’s great. That’s heartwarming even, but in this scenario there would be a new strange dog in your kitchen the next day and you can’t keep adopting these forever. So what would you do with the unwanted dogs? Would you grab a stick and beat it to death? I hope you wouldn’t. I think we’d all just chase that nasty barking mess out of the house, and then let it wander off. We’d choose for a peaceful solution because even though the dog is weird and disgusting, we still understand that it is another being that we don’t want to harm.

So animals just being a bit gross probably wouldn’t compel people to kill it. Some people would argue bugs are not animals, so it’s different. But that’s simply false. Bugs are animals, in every way. Many people for some reason think that bugs are no animals, but I assume that is only because they themselves don’t really understand what makes an animal and what doesn’t. So if animals being gross isn’t an issue, then how come non-arachnophobic people would still kill bugs? Now I could continue to dance around this, I could sugar-code this, or I could just go ahead and say it the way it is and I shall: It takes effort to escort a bug outside. Just killing it is significantly easier. That’s why people really kill bugs: laziness. It’s not our problem that a bug ended up in the house. It’s the bug’s problem. It’s not our concern and we won’t be bothered by it. We just step on it, and then clean it up.

Is that wrong? Is that a crime? Short answer: no. No you can all just continue killing bugs forever and there will be no consequences. As I’ve heard many people often say: There’s millions more of these bugs and killing this one won’t matter. So you’ve done nothing wrong. The world won’t even care. But the world won’t care if you died either, and despite there being over seven billion more animals just like you, you cling on to your life. You value it, and you value the lives of other people. Of course you’ll believe that this is completely different. You’ll believe this doesn’t compare. Your life is more important than that of bugs, because of reasons you can’t think of rightnow. Maybe it’s because bugs are simple, and you are complex? Does that seem like a good reason? Well, maybe that would be a very good reason, if bugs were anything close to simple creatures. The problem here is that you can’t argue that bugs are simple beings, if you refuse to put in an effort to understand them at the same time. Then what you perceive as bugs being simple, really is just your own oversimplified understanding of them. Do not underestimate bugs. We were always told that humans rule the world, but bugs are the real rulers of this world and they have been for millions of years. Dragonflies roamed the skies long before the T-rex could walk on his hind legs. And dragonflies still exist today, just like so many flying insects. Meanwhile humans have only been here since yesterday. In many ways bugs are actually more evolved than you are.

The real reason why you value human lives more than the lives of bugs, is because you are human-centric, as all humans naturally are. It’s okay to be human-centric, it’s the healthy attitude that has helped us progress as a society, its only side-effect being massive damage to the environment. But really this is, again, very acceptable. In many ways good even. Every species puts its own species first. In fact humans may be the least selfish species on this entire planet, which sounds wrong, but it’s actually true. Only we would waste our time writing to each other’s about how precious bugs actually are. Other animals don’t care about other animals. We do. Our empathy extends to more species than is the case for any other species on this world. So no one is being accused of anything here.

But with the human-centric view comes the believe that humans are superior beings. It used to be a biblical thing, but now that there’s the proven theory of evolution people still believe in human superiority even if they don’t believe they were chosen by a god. It’s like we do it subconsciously. I think this is partly to blame on many people failing to grasp what the evolution theory means and what it implies, and that many people now just believe in evolution as if science was its own religion rather than understanding the logic behind it.

The problem is that many of us believe that we evolved from something else (many believe apes, they are very wrong. You could also call them squirrels but that would also be wrong. It actually was some tree climbing creature with a complex latin name that we really shouldn’t confuse with modern animals.), to then become humans, and stay humans. We did evolve from ape-ish beings into humans, that is true. But what people often fail to grasp is that evolution is a never-ending process. This is not where it ends. Evolution is still going on. We are still evolving and within a few million years we will all look different again. What’s most crucial to understand about evolution being a continuous process is that it has no end point. All animals we know today, ourselves included, are not the result of anything. They are all still on a path, they will continue changing along that path and they will never leave their paths unless extinction happens. That of course means that we are never the final stage.

Let’s talk in pokémons for a second: we are not the charizard of the charmander. But this also means this, and this is important: Charmander never aspired to become a Charizard. Charmander just became Charizard over time, but it’s existence didn’t revolve around becoming a Charizard. It spend its whole life being a Charmander, doing Charmander things, and it just became a Charizard because it turned out that a Charizard was needed to live optimally in the environment it had settled. And even more importantly – something that seems so obvious when talking about pokémons, but something people really do not get in real life – a Magikarp also never inspired to be a Charizard, because it’s a freaking Magikarp. A Charizard may be a very good species, that survives very well and does very well in the world, but so is a Magikarp. A Magikarp does not need to become a Charizard to survive and it does not need to become a Charizard to get any better at the game of life then a Charizard. The only thing becoming a Charizard will achieve for a Magikarp, is that the Magikarp will now be more like Charizard. Which would only be useful if they lived in exactly the same circumstances and experienced the exact same events as the Charmanders once did. If this was the case, this would be convergent evolution which is actually not uncommon and totally realistic. But it’s not the case because a Charmander is a land dwelling lizard that is on fire, while a Magikarp is a fish and they live completely different lives.

If none of that made sense to you, let me drop the analogy: We are unique, us humans. We are doing very well, we are very cool looking and we do cool things, like the Charizard. This however does not mean that any of the other species on this planet aspires to be like us. We often think that we are somehow more evolved or ahead of the game, but we are not. If being like us had any special benefit, then it would also be beneficial for other species, and then there would be more species like us. There aren’t. All life on earth is super diverse and there is only one human species left. There used to be a few more, but they all came from the same roots, meaning that there is no convergent evolution here. Our scenario is very specific and the way we are today is not some ultimate form that all species on this world failed to be because they weren’t good enough. They never tried to be like us in the first place. The only species on this planet that benefits from being more like us, is us. Meanwhile species all over the world are doing just fine, and often even better than us, just by not being like us. And that is why humans are not superior. From a biological perspective there really is no point to being human. We try to look down on all sorts of animals, like bugs, because they are not “as good as us”. But if we think about the reasons why long enough, we realize that we only look down on them because they are not like us. Because they actually are “as good as us”, because their species are thriving just like ours. What we consider vital to being human, is not important to other creatures.

For example: We may say bugs are worth less than humans because they are not smart. Many people claim they are basically machines, like automations of some kind. But what is so good about being smart in the first place? The entire world, almost every species aside from humans, does just fine being stupid. Why would they ever be smart? What point is there for them? What is their benefit in being more human? Keep in mind that becoming intelligent also takes sacrifices. Bugs cannot be super small and very intelligent at the same time, it’s not possible. And bugs already benefit a lot by being small, more than they would by being intelligent. Again: bugs are not so small because they failed to be as big as us. Being small is actually a very very effective survival strategy, which is why more creatures evolved to be smaller rather than evolving to be bigger. Bugs don’t have the ability to build rocketships, because they don’t need it. If they had that ability, it would bring them down, made them sacrifice other far more useful traits and it would have been a giant waste of energy to them. You could continue to say bugs feel nothing, which I’m sure is true in some ways. But what is the point of them having complex human feelings if they don’t need to lead complex human lives? If they did had human feelings, wouldn’t they get worse? If anything, does them not having feelings, not make them better than us?

Anything you can think of to say that bugs are worth less than you, and deserve to die, can be broken down into nothing more than “because they are not like me.”. That is all. This might be the whole reason why we can’t have nice things. And again, this view of the world is human and natural. Nothing to accuse anyone of. But it may enrich your worldview if you at least realized that this was happening.

So many people will argue that bugs deserve to die, more so than other animals, because they are simpler. Aside from the fact that being simpler doesn’t de-value anything or anyone, - in fact simple solutions always prove efficiency and considering how capable bugs are despite(or because of) their simplicity only makes them seem more brilliant, and again the bugs do not need to be more complex like humans are just to be worthy - what’s also wrong with this is that which I’ve mentioned before: Even though bugs may be simpler than us, many people do not know bugs at all and so they overestimate the simplicity of bugs. It’s not bugs that are so terribly simple, it is your understanding of them that is. Only just recently researchers have discovered that bees (yes bees) understand the concept of zero, or nothing. That is amazing! Not even all mammals understand that. If you ever were to research bugs more you will find out for yourself how complex they can be, but just as an example of people misunderstanding insects, here’s an anecdote: There are often ants in my garden, just wild ants, and someone once said to me on a very rainy day while staring outside of the window:

“Well the ants must be all drowning now. They probably think the world is ending.”

Sounds like a somewhat morbid, yet funny thought. What is just rain to us, is a disastrous flood to the ants. This probably makes a lot of sense to a human that doesn’t think a lot about bugs. I have no experience with it, because my head is full of bugs. I love bugs too much. There is no doubt that rain actually is very dangerous for bugs. They’re small, they cannot swim and they do drown easily. So the next day when the rain was over, were all the ants in my garden dead? They were not. Why not? I honestly don’t know, but it doesn’t even matter. You could have known beforehand that the ants could survive this easily, just by thinking about it logically. Let’s split that comment into two parts.

1.      The ants must be all drowning now.

Again, this isn’t a crazy thought. Many ants probably did drown. But all of them? That won’t be the case. The colony is bound to survive. You don’t have to observe the ants to know this. Just realize that these are wild animals that live outside and that they survive the rain just like all other wild animals. If ants couldn’t deal with rain, they would be either extinct by now, or only living in deserts. How on earth do they do that? I don’t know. I don’t know the specifics, but why wouldn’t they have a way to survive the rain? They live outdoors. The only creature that does not live outdoors, is us. We’re the only ones that make a giant problem out of the weather. Animals don’t care about the weather. An insect will have to care a little more about rain than bigger animals, but still it will be able to handle it.

2.      They would think the world is ending.

This is the real crazy thought. No they wouldn’t. Because the world can only end once and it rains quite often here. What this part here implies is that ants don’t understand what rain is, and that when it rains it surprises them as if they never expected this to happen, as if it never happened before and it is their doom. This implies that we, glorious humans, uniquely understand that occasionally water can fall out of the sky and the rest of the animal world hasn’t figured this out yet. It may be true that an ant could never explain what rain is, like a well-informed human could, but if anything an ant colony that is always outside in the rain is bound to have a better understanding of rain and how to deal with it than a human that always sits inside in a house that they let someone else build for them. What would you do if your roof collapsed by the way? Would you and your family members fix it or would you let that get fixed in exchange for money some other time? Because if there’s a leak in the ants nest it’s the problem of the ants. They have nowhere else to go so this problem is theirs to solve and they will solve it or else they all die. If not the ants, than certainly the ant colony as a whole, is bound to be perfectly capable of expecting, preparing for, dealing with and repairing after, rain. It will be a challenge, because everything in the wild is. But ants do not freak out thinking a cosmic disaster is happening. That’s something humans would do. Ants? They just get to work.

Hell, if there was any bug that has ever been underestimated by humans, it has to be ants. Ants have been known to

-        Build rafts out of their own bodies -        Build bridges out of their own bodies -        Have wars -        Care for wounded ants, when they are still fit enough to continue working or fighting. -        Dispose of their corpses in a sort of graveyard, so diseases won’t affect the colony -        Have slaves -        Have hunting tactics -        Take care of cattle -        Farm -        Have queens sneak into other colonies, to assassinate their queen and take her place. -        Attack electronics and successfully disable them by short circuiting them. (yeah some species actually can do that.) -        Block the entrances of enemy nests with twigs, sticks and dirt, to sabotage them. -        Rage through the forest like a giant storm of nomads that devours everything -        Banish ants that have been infected with a disease (like cordyceps), so the colony survives. -        Somehow survive being in a working microwave oven like it’s nothing.

And that’s only just ants. Even though ants are remarkable in their own way, a similar complexity can be expected from other bugs. So bugs are simpler, but they are not as simple as people make them out to be. Not by far.

So if bugs don’t scare us beyond reason, if bugs are not worth less than us, if bugs are not simple near-robotic creatures, then finally the only argument that remains for killing bugs is that they may be pests. This argument is the only reasonable one. Some bugs may actually spread diseases or eat your food. For example, you’ll have all reasons in the world to kill parasitic bugs. Mosquitoes and ticks are after your blood, and they are known to spread dangerous and even deadly diseases, although depending on where you live the chances can be unlikely. Still, mosquitoes are the world’s most deadly animals and you shouldn’t leave it up to chance. Let’s just all agree that these bugs are evil and should be killed. Then there are pests that could build colonies or breed in your house, eat your food and just make a mess out of everything. Like cockroaches or wood-eating termites. Again, it would be wise to exterminate those. There are even highly territorial bugs like bees or wasps, and you shouldn’t let them build their nests in or close to your house. Because soon they may start claiming your home to be theirs and I promise you that’s a war they will win unless you call the fire department or another insect removal service.

But although some bugs are harmful, over 99% of the bugs that get into your house totally aren’t! Spiders? Unless you live in Australia or somewhere else exotic, spiders may just be the least dangerous animals you could have wandering through your house. Not only do they never have the intention to bite you, because they simply have no reason for it aside from self-defense, their bites are also totally not poisonous. At least here in west Europe. If you ever get bitten by a spider here it’s always because either you, or the spider, has been clumsy. There is no other reason. The only thing spiders are doing in your house is killing all mosquitoes there, which - as I discussed before - are literally humanity’s worst enemy when it comes to animals, so I cannot express how underappreciated and awesome spiders are. Flies? They’re annoying and that’s all they’ll ever be. Do they bring harmful diseases to your house because they sit on poop all day? No, because most flies don’t even sit on poop, ever. Those that do, only do it to breed and even if it were sitting on poop before entering your house, you people literally keep pets that produce that same poop out of their own bodies so how is that any more hygienic? Centipedes? If you hate spiders, you’ll want them in your house because they’ll eat spiders, those awesome bastards. They’ll eat anything. Woodlice? If you got woodlice walking around in your house that probably means there’s a moist place somewhere near, or in your house. They need moisture because they need to breathe through gills, because they’re basically tiny crabs and they’re adorable. Just look at them. They’re about as harmless as they look. Daddy long legs? They’re like spiders, only without the ability to bite you. Nothing wrong with them. Those freaky mosquitoes with very long legs that look like flying spiders to you? They don’t even bite humans. They just don’t. They’re an exception to other mosquitoes. Beetles? If there’s a beetle in your house, its just very lost. As far as I know they have nothing to do in your house. Butterflies? Come on.

So a few harmful bugs do exist but that shouldn’t drive you to keep indiscriminately killing bugs. The problem here is that if you kill bugs because they may be harmful, and you’re killing things without knowing what you’re killing. You’re killing bugs just because they’re bugs and just because there exist other bugs that deserve to be killed and the one that you’re killing now may or may not be like them but you’re too lazy to check. And maybe it would make sense to kill a bug, if a bug could be dangerous or unsanitary, but there is a giant problem here with the word bug. You may not know this but the word bug doesn’t exist in many other languages. And you may also not realize this, but the word bug doesn’t mean anything in the real world. In biology a bug is absolutely nothing. I wrote this entire rant in English, just to use this word over and over again. Boy, is it a useful word to just talk about tiny animals without needing to be specific. But boy is it an absolutely useless word that means almost nothing precisely because it’s so vague. What is a bug anyways? It may have an elegant definition somewhere, but in the way it’s always used this term is an absolute mess. To some it’s all insects. To some it also contains spiders. To some it’s all arthropods, but not crabs. To some it’s also worms and snails and slugs. And apparently to some it’s even diseases, or rather viruses and bacteria.

In other languages where this word doesn’t exist, you’ll be forced to discriminate more between bugs, because you lack that convenient container-word. So you’ll be more inclined to call the bugs what they are. In another language we never speak about bugs, the most we can speak off are arthropods. Arthropods are “animals with segmented legs” and it’s the best replacement for bug there is, but at the same time it is still scientific! Yet not everything English people would call bugs, are arthropods. In another language people will talk about spiders, centipedes, woodlice, worms, snails, slugs and insects without calling them all one thing. There they are not bugs, and there they are not anything else. And this is better because all these animals do not have enough in common to give them all one single name(!). They are not one thing, they are all different families. In fact from an evolutionary perspective there is more difference between a spider and a mosquito than there is between a dog and a tiger. Actually spiders and mosquitoes are so different, that there is more difference between a spider and a mosquito than there is between even a fish and a tiger. So killing bugs because there may be another bug that is harmful, is absolute madness. It’s like killing your goldfish because you thought it could have been a tiger. A goldfish and a tiger are nothing alike, but you treat the same just because for some reason you call them the same.

In the end, ignorance is all it is. Just pure ignorance. It’s not wanting to take a quick look at what you’re killing, and thinking about why you’re killing it. It’s not wanting to get to know another being, and killing it instead. It’s a lack of curiosity towards the world around you, as well as a lack of empathy. And as I said: There is nothing wrong with killing bugs, but still it saddens me and it disgusts me to no end. I will always wonder about what people that mindlessly kill bugs think about other humans that they don’t understand. I wonder if ignorance is all it takes for them to turn on other people as well. I wonder if they would just kill other people because they choose it over taking the effort to getting to know someone that’s hard to understand or just someone they don’t initially want to understand. I wonder if that’s how wars have happened. If that’s how discrimination has happened. If that’s how genocide has happened. I wonder endlessly and I will always stay clear of someone when I notice they kill or harm animals of any kind. Because it takes empathy just to want to be better towards other beings, without it benefiting you. It takes the tiniest bit of empathy to do the tiniest bit of effort to just not kill something else that lives when it inconveniences you. And someone that does kill animals like that, probably doesn’t have such a strong sense of empathy. They may just turn against you as soon as they can no longer understand you. And I better stay clear of such people.

I was inspired to write this rant when someone told me that they “loved nature so much”, and directly afterwards told me that they hated bugs, and killed them frequently. I told them how bugs are everywhere in nature, how there is no nature without bugs. They just continued saying they’d rather enjoy nature without the bugs. To me it’s pure insanity. Humans are insane. How can you enjoy sitting in a field, if you can’t stand the insects that are all around you? How can you enjoy walking through a forest if you don’t want to run into spiderwebs? Really. Saying you love nature, but hate the things that nature is made out of (By which I mean plants and all things that plants have complex relations with, such as bugs, the closest thing to fairies we have on this world) is absolute absurdity.

That’s like saying you love Paris, only it’s a shame there’s all these disgusting Frenchmen there.

[januvatl]

Watashi to Kanojo no Synesthesia

Synopsis: https://januvatl.tumblr.com/synesthesia

"uu..."

Potsun Potsun.

Kotsun Kotsun.

The noise resounds about the room as though it is trying to cause disorder. (TL note: Cause of her synesthesia)

...I hate the rain.

I've always been bad with the rain.

The rhythm of the raindrops always gives me the feeling as though it is slowly blotting out and corroding my existence. I especially hate it when it is like this, with the sound excessively reverberating about the room.

“Nn...”

On days like this, I will burrow into a futon without fail. Shutting my eyes in the darkness and focusing on the fragrance of the pillow.

The thick futon cuts off the sound, shutting my eyes allows me to disregard the colours, and immersing myself in the smell causes my awareness of the synesthesia to slip away. (TL note: unsure here 匂いに没頭することで音色を意識から外す)

By taking refuge in this futon capsule, I can protect myself from decaying. I won’t survive otherwise.

“...nyafuu”

Lured by the comfort, I spontaneously leaked out a sigh.

…..aa, so warm naa…

Yielding myself to the warmth in an experienced manner, I was just about to properly indulge myself when I feel my body getting shaken from outside. This is obviously an attempt to hinder my sleep. And this hindrance comes with a loud voice as a bonus.

“What are you doing? Fugaku Kisara chan?”

“Why the full name, Rinne Kokone chan”

“No reason in particular. By the way Kisara chan, isn’t this my futon?”

Of course I know that, that’s why I’m enjoying it. My own smell isn’t interesting at all. That’s why Kokone’s is good.

Nevertheless, her voice is as fluffy and sweet as ever. When I hear her slow “orange voice”, I feel super sleepy…

“.....gu”

“Aan Kisara chaaan, please don’t fall asleep?!”

“Ha….This human lullaby music box!!”

“What does that mean!?”

Although I can’t see her face, her expression is bound to be one of extreme bewilderment right now.

Having known her for so long, I can tell this much even without seeing it myself. Yet for the same reason, I also end up knowing stuff I don’t wish to know.

“As for why I’m sleeping….that’s because Kokone is here….”

“Please don’t say such ambiguous words with that look on your face!”

“There’s no evidence of me making that look when I’m completely covered by the futon…”

“I’ve known you for such a long time, of course I can tell what look you have right now!”

Tch. It seems we share the same advantage. With her words and shaking intensifying, my sleepiness was driven away. Reluctantly, I crawled out of the futon.

As light illuminated the room and restored my vision, I grimaced.

“Aa----”

-----The world is so ‘gray’.

An alarm clock with the design of a character popular with girls nowadays, a wardrobe with dresses that are meaninglessly decorated with frills, a dresser littered with cosmetics and a contrastively neat study desk.

Anything and everything reflected upon my eyes are black and white, a monochrome world.

An unpleasant sight isn’t it.

Everything has been completely swallowed up by the rain.

The world before my eyes that’s been devastated by the colour of gray seems as though it is trying to break me apart.

“Good morninggg, Kisara chan”

In this world of gray, only Kokone has a vibrant colour.

Soft and full lips the colour of sakura, sleepy looking softly drooping blue eyes and a smile that gives off a fluffy feeling like cotton candy.

Her fluffy and wavy blond hair extends past her shoulders, and shakes with the tilting of her head as though it is dancing.

Good complexion, a gentle vibe, sufficiently bulging soft looking chest, and a cute dress with many frills.

From top to toe, a complete bishoujo. (TL note: pretty girl) Flawless beauty as though she is a well made french doll.

The girl before my eyes, fluffy and extremely adorable is completely different from me, with my pallid skin, nasty expression and flat chest.

The difference in girl power is evident. She stands on the opposite end of the spectrum, with her unmatched beauty.

Without any feeling of envy, I called out to her.

“Morning, Kokone….do you need something?”

“No no, that’s my line….why are you in my futon?”  (TL note: Kokone uses “boku” to refer to herself which is less feminine compared to “watashi” that Kisara and most girls use)

“I thought you knew but….I hate the rain. That’s why I was in your futon to block my sight, hearing and smell.”

“Somehow the last one seems new...ehehe”

Breaking out a smile like soft boiled eggs once again, Kokone laughed.  (TL note: Don’t ask me why orz 半熟の卵みたいな笑顔)

A sweet smile that seems to have plenty of sugar added in.  A warm orange-coloured laughter that sounds like birds chirping-----

“------upu”

“Kisara chan?”

“Sorry, I feel sick….”

“....again?”

Orange mixed with a little blue , the result of worry added to amazement.

Her “voice” paints over the gray colour, and it really does put me at ease. However, my mind can’t handle the sudden change to the world, making me nauseous.

…..A troublesome body, same as ever.

My legs got tangled but Kokone caught me and I somehow managed to avoid falling down.

In my current posture, while thinking to myself that the black hair that entered my field of vision looks so gloomy, I shake my head.

“Are you alright?”

“Un...thanks Kokone”

While wringing out a word of gratitude, a single word comes to mind.

…..’Synesthesia’

The triggering of a different sense organ in response to a stimulus. For example, seeing the colour red and getting the feeling pain. For example, eating something sweet and getting the feeling of a round shape. For example-----hearing the sound of rain and seeing the colour gray.

“.....too much gray”

Even amongst those with this condition, mine is special. Due to extreme sensitivity, it’s at the extent of overwhelming my very soul.

The sound of rain, the sound of thunder and even human voices-----they swallow up my heart, the sight before my eyes.

The type of synesthesia where sound invokes a colour is known as ‘Chromesthesia’, while it seems that many who suffer from this have perfect pitch, I do not have such an ability.

It’s just that I hear colours.

It’s just unpleasant.

It’s just that.

“Kokone…..speak, continue….let me hear your voice….?”

Imploring, entreating her.

The only one I can rely on now is her.

Even my own voice is a muddy blue----as though I’m drowning.

While gathering up Kokone’s soft, fluffy hair and fragrance as well as embracing her, I called out to her.

“Nee, Kokone...please….”

“U--n…..if you give out more sweetness, I’ll think about it ♪”

“Fuyu?!” (TL note: Probably short for fuyukai desu, Kyoukai no kanata’s Kuriyama Mirai catch phrase. It means unpleasant.)

“The current Kisara chan is so sweet….just a little more, okay..?”

“U,uu….”

I give up.

As seen, this is her shortcoming.

The current voice, a transparent orange colour----truthfully and seriously so.

I am feeding her synesthesia.

Kokone’s synesthesia is “Lexical-gustatory synesthesia” (TL note: sound to taste).

To her, all sounds are food.

Every sound is able to trigger her sense of taste.

In other words, to her, hearing is the equivalent of eating.

“....Kokone”

“Eeh~ The current voice is bitter~ Are you making fun of me, Kisara chan?”

Narrowing her deep blue eyes, her voice drops by one octave.

Even without relying on the colour of red I feel, it’s evident that she’s discontented.

“Y, you don’t have to get mad with that super red tone of voice! Don’t you normally like eating this voice as well?!”

Kokone and I differ in that she doesn’t have like nor dislike any sounds. She’ll eat all sounds with relish.

In comparison, I get sick from hearing stuff, with the exception of a certain range of sound.

One who’s a glutton for sound and one who’s weak to them. That’s how the two of us are like.

“Kisara chan’s normal voice has a tasty bitterness, the sound of rain has a sweet cider-like taste but….for now, I want to hear Kisara chan’s sweet voice…?”

“The rain has a cider taste….I imagined it to a more water-like taste though.”

“Ki~sa~ra~cha~n~?”

Changing the topic to delay things was my plan but it didn’t work.

The colour I feel from the voice has left from the red zone and has the colour of black mixed in.

That which I hate most, black sounds.

“Hik….”

“Ah...sorry, Kisara chan.”

“Th, this, glutton devil….baka….gusu…”

“Ah, this verbal abuse, the bittersweetness is delicious….”

“.....the worst”

I’m really frightened over here yet she’s in ecstasy over my voice. Really the worst.

But, this is why Kokone----there is a balance, and we are together like this.

Her gluttony is dangerous.

That’s why my existence is necessary.

I am terribly unstable.

That’s why her existence is necessary.

She will nibble at even screams and killing intent.

Should she feel inclined to-------the thought ’wanna eat’ entering her mind, she may end up hurting someone. Kokone stays true to her appetite, making her all the more dangerous.

In comparison, I dread both screams and killing intent.

Voices filled with negative emotions have always seemed to be like the pitch black colour of the bottom of wells.

Hence I act as Kokone’s restraints, and in compensation, I receive her pure-----transparent desire-filled voice.

This is our abnormal relationship.

Codependence----abnormal codependence.

Synesthesia----abnormal senses.

Duet---abnormal sonata.   (TL note: 共奏曲で――狂奏曲。 Help D:)

“....♪”

I hear a song.

While being embraced tightly by Kokone, I hear a humming next to my ears.

“Nn”

Her breath brushes against my ear----

“Ha, a…..”

-----The world is trembling with brilliance.

Her singing is adding colour to the world.

Painting out the gray, swallowing it completely.

The colours of the world are increasing, becoming vibrant.

“Nn...Kokone”

I called her.

My voice is a sakura colour mixed with blue.

Proof that this is the only way for me to get some peace of mind.

A colour that Kokone would feel sweet.

“....♪”

With sweetness acting as fuel, her humming got louder, releasing vivid colours.

Tempo changes and vibrato, every time ‘shakuri’ and ‘kobushi’ takes place, the scenery becomes ever more vivid and beautiful. A magic-like transformation.

(TL note: テンポの変化やビブラート、『しゃくり』や『こぶし』が起きるたびに、景色はより鮮やかに、美しくなる. Are shakuri 『しゃくり』 and kobushi 『こぶし』 musical terms?)

More.

I want to see more.

“Nn, Kokone….please, more----”

----Give me more of this beautiful world.

Fill my heart up with colours.

Since I will sate your appetite as well.

Let your voice resound more.

In this manner of painting out the rain, continue humming.

◇◆◇

“Nn….Kokone, I’m alright now…”

The sound of rain can still be heard.

While the sight of raindrops striking the window still brings about a feeling of depression, it is now way way better.

In front of the monochrome filter, I believe a beautiful world has spread out.

So I raise my head, in this grey world, for the sake of living.

“Ehh~ I still want a little more~?”

While shaking her hair and frills, Kokone tilted her head.

Truly a glutton, this troublesome girl.

“It’s fine to eat sounds, but you have to properly eat your meals as well.”

Synesthesia is after all just a sensory input.

While sound can stimulate her palate, it can neither fill up her stomach nor can it provide nourishment.

At the end of the day, her synesthesia is only just a linking of senses.

For the sake of living, she has to eat actual food.

My existence is also to ensure that she eats actual food that she is indifferent to.

“Che. Alright….It’s fine if I properly eat my meal righttt?

“Yeah. I understand that you dislike it….but you have to eat, okay?

The reason Kokone doesn’t like eating actual food is because of the sound of eating. Chewing, swallowing, and scraping of cutlery, the cacophony of such sounds evokes different tastes.

Even when she eats chocolate, the sound of chewing triggers a different taste due to synesthesia. This causes mayhem in her mind it seems.

Even so, she gave a nod to my words.

Despite the reluctance, she agreed with the movement of her head.

This is why I move for her sake.

In this colourless world.

“Ne….is there anything you wanna eat?”

For the sake of seeing her warm voice colours.

It might be unusual, but it’s mutual.

We, are together for the sake of sharing sounds.

◇◆◇

“Kisara chan, this tamagoyaki is salty…”  (TL note: rolled omelette that’s supposed to be sweet)

“....That’s because of the synesthesia. Eating something changes the taste.”

“Ueeeh~, really…?”

“Really. Really really….uwa, what’s this saltiness. Super nasty”

“It leaked out! Something incredible just leaked out!!”

----It seems the world I wish for is still quite far off.

[ecotone99]

[MF] The Traitors Letter

To whom it may concern,

​

I’m certain that no one will read this and that if they do it will be far into the future and make little sense to whoever reads it. That doesn’t bother me now because tomorrow it all ends for me and with no outside contact I find myself needing to speak to someone, anyone, and get it all off my chest. So to anyone who comes across this I’d just like to begin by apologizing for the atrocities I’ve committed against my fellow man and against my government.

You see I was born before the war in a simpler time and I suppose that my upbringing, what little I had at least, was to blame. I blame my upbringing but I do so without using that as an excuse. I was born in Western Kentucky in ‘94 (1994 that is) to a single mother whose obsession with booze meant that I would spend my childhood out on the streets learning everything the hard way. It could always have been worse: I could have turned to drugs or gangs instead of the computer.

Either way to make a long story short the kids I hung out with after school were what you’d call “hackers.” Not the Guy Fawkes mask wearing type (if you even get the reference) but the kids who could “root” your playstation for you and put pirated games on it. Because of them I got pretty good and computer science was my obvious profession of choice upon turning 18. Hardest four years of my life up until I got put in here but I finished it and moved out West to find work at what they called “Silicon Valley.”

I ended up working for a company whose name I’ll keep to myself (not that they’re still around anyway) and did so for six or seven years before the war. Hell I even managed to get a pretty nice house with a picket fence and everything. But when the tensions rose and war seemed inevitable everything changed.

We all knew the foreign policy of the last few administrations had been blunder after blunder but when our boys went off to war in Asia it was initially just against one nation and we had the coalition. Wasn’t long until everyone seemed to become our enemy in battle. Nations that we’d been allied with for decades they said were killing our men and the draft was imposed. That’s when it all changed. I was already older than 25 and my job was in data science so I didn’t have to go fight but I saw some of the people coming back and I was, am, just so sorry for them. That’s why I did what I did that was all. But they’re right a crime is a crime.

Anyway I started “working over” every night once the rationing began since I didn’t have much to do at home and could use the companies internet to monitor the goings on overseas. I don’t know why I guess I just like the whole “great game” world news type stuff and I also saw so many people coming back I always thought the war was ending any day. My mistake was not knowing that after the Peace Act was passed my company was one of many that were rolled into the DoD and so the whole time I was being monitored by NSA guys.

I started doing the usual info gathering stuff. I would take on of the last known battles and look for towns around it then lookup newspapers from those towns. I thought this would be all I needed to do to get news from the front and there was so little being played for us here at home. Messed up thing is I never read nothing about no battles in Iran or Japan and I even wrote programs to crawl whole regions worth of newspapers and I found plenty of battles but none involving the US in either of those countries.

So I thought this has to be an error or those countries gotta be covering the war news somewhere else. Around that time I stopped being able to connect to the servers outside America and I assumed it was something the company had done so I started using a system of proxy servers to connect to the outside world. It worked at first but since I still had nothing I started looking through Cameras and microphones but after awhile I still had nothing.

So I began putting together all the information I had into a single folder and I was gonna take it to a real journalist: someone who had an idea what to even look for or who to tell. That’s when the Blackcoats got me. Roughed me up pretty good too and at that time I had no idea what I’d even done or why just that I was in trouble something bad cause they through a black potato bag or something over my face.

After the beating they through handcuffs on me and I left in a what seemed like a bus. I know there were some other people in there with me because I could hear them yelling before loud slaps shut them up. I don’t know how to describe it it was the saddest and loneliest I’ve ever felt and then a heart dropping guilt just kinda sat there in the background. After what seemed like a whole day we arrived at some facility and I was brought to a cell and the bag taken off.

I asked the guy who put me in there as he was locking the door, “hey buddy what the hell is all this for?

He just told me to stay quiet and walked away. My cell faced one of the big white brick walls so I couldn’t see anybody else but I could hear a girl next me sobbing saying to let her go. I don’t know how long she was in there but I know after 5 minutes I heard some loud footsteps and that girl didn’t cry after that. The guard brought me a nasty plate of wet food just once the whole time I was in that cell and I swear it was two whole days.

When I finally did leave they placed another bag on my head, knocked the hell out of me again, and drug me down the hall to a bright room where they took the bag off again and chained me to a large metal chair with handcuffs. In front of me was a tall blonde lady in a black dress suit and a shorter mean looking man with red hair. The man stood up over me as I sat in the chair and pulled a baton off of his side

“Name and social?,” the lady asked in a monotone voice. I told her and the man gave me an unsatisfied look as if he wanted me to tell her a lie.

“Tomorrow you are being bussed to Florence Correctional Institution where you will wait out your final sentence.,” the lady said again monotone, “If you have any questions this is your one chance to ask them.”

As the lady pulled out a pen and prepared to I guess take note of what I asked the man grabbed my hair and told me to ask quickly. I was devastated and had a million questions but the only thing I could spit out was a crying, “Why?”

The man hit me and yelled out for me to be more specific so I asked, “Why am I going to prison? What have I done?”

The Lady gave a soft sigh and put her notepad back and pen back on the table. She signaled for the man to let up on my hair and after he took a step back she began, “did you know we are at war with thirty-seven nations at this time? That hundreds of your fellow citizens are dying every day?”

“I know there’s a war,” I said, “I didn’t know who all it was against.”

“Oh?,” she immediately responded and cut me off, “you seemed to be quite the detective when it comes to the matter how did you not know?”

“I don’t even know if there is a war I didn’t see-,” the man knocked me in the stomach with the baton and my head flew forward. He grabbed me by the hair again and the bastard smacked me in the face two or three times. The lady walked up stern as the man was hitting me and rose her voice. It wasn’t monotoned anymore that’s for sure.

“This!,” she yelled as she brought her mouth right next to my ear, “is why. You are a treasoninst liar who attempts to subvert the war effort by misinformation!”

“No!,” I cried out and the man slapped me again. I didn’t let it stopped me from screaming, “No that’s not it I just wanted to know. I just saw all the men coming back and was curious why so many seemed so rough compared to the wars of my youth. I just wanted to report on the war that’s all!”

“We have war reporters and official channels,” she screamed in my ear as the man beat me for a few more seconds, “we don’t need subversive news from the likes of you.”

The both backed off of me as I cried out that I was sorry and I didn’t know. I must have swore to every god I could think of that I wouldn’t do it again: that next time I’d know better. They were having none of it and they both walked out of the room as the bag was brought over my head yet again and I was dragged out into the hallway and back to a cell.

The next day I took that bus ride with my face covered. It took us three days to get there with me being beaten every now and then and the occasional screaming off some other poor soul who had done wrong. I won’t bore you with the details of the terrible things I suffered through over the last few years since I arrived but I did want to say that if the weekly needle therapy is still around I hope you never have to go through it. Once a week for the last few years I’ve been brought to a room where I talk about the crime I committed and other crimes like it except when I do these nurses stab needles into my side and inject some kind of reverse pain medicine in me and that’s the worst thing I’ve ever felt.

Now I know it’s taken me awhile to get here but the whole reason I decided to write this was what happened yesterday. I had just came back from the daily hour I get outside the cell when the door opened and a man with a bible came in. He was the preacher see and everyone is given one last visit before you know what. He walked up and put his hand on my shoulder.

“If you wish to repent you can do it now son.,” he said in a gently voice and looked at me. You can imagine I apologized for everything I’d ever done and when I finished the preacher went on.

“I’m sure you are,” he said as he stepped back and looked up at the one small window at the top of the cell, “I know it doesn’t mean much to you now but since it’s almost over we figured we would give you the satisfaction of knowing that you’ve helped the world just a little bit.”

I looked up at him with tears in my face and said, “H-how? What do you mean?”

He gave a large smile and spoke, “The Administration has been looking for a way to rehabilitate vile prisoners in an efficient and reproducible way. You’ve been part of a test to perfect this method and I’d say are living proof that it works. Murderers, rapist and dissidents all can be churned back into productive citizens in a few years. Once the post-therapy kinks are worked out of course: but you’ll not have to worry about that.”

I was dumbfounded. Part of me wanted to scream at him but as soon as the anger came a pain hit my lower gut and a fear like that of child seeing monsters in the dark came over me. Anxiety overwhelmed me and I looked at the man, who still smiled, and with a mouthful of choking tears I cried, “G-glad I could help. So there’s no death penalty anymore? You just let people go?”

“Yes that’s correct.,” he said as he walked closer to me yet again, “well except for you and the other test subjects. You’ll understand that having people around who remember before the treatment will be a bit of a problem going forward. We can’t allow you to even unconsciously spewing such conspiracy theories as the one you were locked up for lying about.”

I did, and do, understand what the preacher meant. The state has to uphold unity in the people and I was planning to spread disinformation or at least to spread information I didn’t know was correct. I only wrote this letter for people in the future to find because they’ll wanna know how it happend. How the world became so much better as a new type of society emerged from the victor of that awful war.

Before I don’t think I would have been able to look death in the eyes without that odd guilt one gets when imagining the world without them. Today I know I leave to give a better world to the children of honorable citizens and to prevent men like me from existing. I think, though I don’t know for sure, that given the chance I’d have killed myself all those years ago even before the Lady in Black and the Red Haired man beat me. If they’d have just told me it was for the good of society.

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