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violetsystems · 5 years ago

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#personal

The only drama I’ve been tolerating lately is my return to reading physical comics in public. The world has gone batshit insane and that isn’t the intro panel to Immortal Hulk. It’s pretty much real life for me without much explanation or external plot narration. After a year of writing here about how I feel on any number of issues nobody in real life knows any different. It’s always been here where the act of social sharing has fifteen layers of safeguards in terms of anonymity. The community has always been very subtle and muted in how it treats each other. It’s intimate how you come to know a person through their curation of content. There’s entire relationships I have with people on here that matter more to me than people I’m in daily contact with in Chicago. I’ve been submerged in the deep web like a cybernetic dolphin in a tank for years with the rest of you. The Tumblr fishbowl has always been much more comforting than the public eye. The only theory I have is that people really don’t pay attention to anyone in real life. I’ve come to know the pain of recognizing when people stop listening. Most people just project how great they are or how much more they know. Society in America especially under the guise of capitalism is always a competition. You can only assess the success or value of a person by the amount they make or more importantly spend. From there people splinter off into efficiently divided cliques, tribes and teams that people try to draft you into out of fear of isolation. Peer pressure doesn’t ever go away unless you shut the door completely or maybe even bust it wide open. Even then it just gets nastier and more sophisticated. You’d have to be the Hulk to enjoy that kind of constant abuse. My follower count has been mostly the same which has always been something I respect. Everybody knows I try to play it safe and genuinely respect different perspectives. I walk boundaries and I maintain layers beyond that. Around this time last year I had made a decision in my life to focus my attention on things that made me happy. One of those was my communications here with people. Things had grown from this into real life in a magical way. And then people starting hijacking the narrative for their own selfish reasons. Putting their own spin, opinion and value on the things they thought I was “trying to say.” That kind of thing has been happening to me since the beginning of time. People trying to turn something I do into something that can benefit them, influence or control. When it comes to blogging on the internet here the outside world is mostly negative towards this space. Truthfully I am pretty excited about the recent purchase of Tumblr but everything in the press is always negative. People are so conditioned to bad news these days that we just fixate on the drama and do nothing about it. People crave it in almost everything. Walk into a coffee shop and employees are trashing other coffee brands instead of focusing on their own. People talk behind other people’s back like it’s a secret trial and never face the demon within themselves. Sometimes these things escalate into crossing the line or threshold of your dreams overcome by some madness and zealotry. They think they have a say in whatever it is I do in my own time. And with me we already know how badly people have fucked up in this regard. It is sadly comical at this point and I am the butt of a constant cosmic joke. It would be a broken record to spend another year describing how I haven’t gotten over it. I don’t give a fuck about any of that shit really anymore. I changed my train route, subscribed to better coffee at home and read Hulk comics on the commute.

With all the drama between Sony and Disney over Spider-man people forget sometimes we’re talking about movies. Who owns the rights to the intellectual property of poor artists to bankroll their studio profits every summer is maybe important. If you didn’t have twenty two movies linked together already. I don’t know really I just read comics. I’m supposed to have an opinion about every part of the world I’ve never lived in. Within all these arguments it’s always picking a side. Mostly because people want a battle and a chance to feel right even when they are missing a perspective totally. We can focus on all the talking about the problems all day and never find a solution. It’s been particularly hard for me to come to grips with being in the environment I’ve been in. I spent five years traveling to Asia to figure out my place outside of all this. This last year I came back and focused closer to home. In that respect I’ve found New York to be much less pretentious than I thought it would be. It’s truly the city where you can cry on the street and nobody cares. That feeling of freedom is something I don’t feel lately myself in Chicago. There’s too much manipulation and utilization of public space. People so concerned about why you aren’t happy and never would do a thing to correct the problem. There has to be something wrong with you for feeling that way. In New York you kind of share the space and let things breathe. In Chicago everybody is trying to maximize your contribution to society. Your social obligations in the highest taxed city in America are also taxed if not just by patience and will alone. I pay taxes and I don’t mind paying them. But encroaching on people’s life, liberty and pursuit of happiness for the sake of a brand is a bit weird. Unless it’s Pink. This coming from a guy decked out fully in Nike and Undercover. You see these shirts that say “Chicago Over Everything” and then you see me rot in silence in my street wear coffin. I hear a lot of sentiments that don’t ever address me directly. People project what they hope you will hear and expect you to take the bait. Looking for a fight. Looking for a new friend to abuse. Looking for another cult member. People approach inclusion by never leaving you alone and make you feel crazy for feeling claustrophobic. I guess people have never been a victim of police entrapment. That’s some drama I’ve already written about and left in the dust. These days it’s ten thousand times worse and then again I’m over it. The double standard I see in the real world is mostly about making people question their legitimacy in the face of incompetence. I’ve been the victim of so many dumb social experiments for art’s sake and otherwise. All it ever really amounts to is intimidation and drama and it’s boring and ineffectual. We argue things we can’t or won’t change instead of leading by example. And leading in public by yourself with no safety net gets old after awhile. Especially when nobody remembers all that you’ve done. Or at least gives you the benefit of the doubt when the court of public opinion puts you on trial for the fifth week in a row. People who will talk about you behind you back all day but never address you to your face. Never acknowledge your validity. Too busy being negative to give you a chance to shine.

There’s an entire decade of my life that has been left behind and forgotten about outside of Tumblr. Imagine the irony that the people I shared things with here knew the deeper side of me. And we all watched me get passed over and ruminate about how I could be a better person. How I could right all these wrongs? How I could be the hero. And almost eerily like the Hulk comic I’m looked upon as something else. I haven’t really had a modern comic experience quite like reading that graphic novel. I just ordered the next volume and get to pick it up from another school’s campus after work tomorrow. I do have to work all day tomorrow. I’ve done that for almost two decades. People still treat me like a kid. People on Tumblr of course know I don’t feel like a kid or even remotely account for one mathematically. But I’ve learned people look for any excuse to write you off. They do it for years and when you grow better they find another thing to drag you down with. When they can’t find anything they just ignore you. And here we are a year later looking back. It’s that time of year again. People are actually back in school. Just like every other year really it feels like. People can acknowledge I feel invisible but not acknowledge me personally. That’s the whole curse of the Undercover aesthetic. You wear it so well even the police start getting it twisted. Nobody asks. Nobody has the guts to approach you and treat you fairly. And so you grow to know better than to waste you time on shit that doesn’t appreciate your value. It’s a mind fuck for me really to understand the way forward is more of the same. That being isolated and exiled in some way is far more safe at this point of my life. That maybe there’s things too precious for me to share with people who can’t fathom or know the value I place on it. Because they don’t make the sacrifices I do to keep things safe. To be responsible and be myself at the same time. A year ago I felt like that mad scientist locked in a lab. I’ve done enough barbell reps to be the skinniest Hulk alive. The title of that volume is “Or is he both?” It’s a far different vibe from either Professor Hulk or Planet Hulk. Bruce Banner is a transient who changes into the Hulk nightly. He’s tracking gamma ray signatures of what he calls Walking Ghosts. Toxic creatures exposed like a virus to gamma radiation by another scientist trying to heal his son. Banner is trying to right a wrong and at the same time stay in control of his inner core of responsibilities. He keeps a secret that grows out of control and finally the Hulk cannot be contained. Interestingly enough the Hulk exacts his rage in frighteningly calculated ways. He even speaks kindly of Banner. He also buries the other scientist in a mountain and makes him ponder hell forever instead of ending his life. The Hulk eventually learns about this green door through the Walking Ghosts that whisper about it in fear. There’s no gatekeeper at that door to hold the Hulk back. And I’m sure there’s so much more drama behind that door. It’s only Volume two after all. I can’t wait to find out because that’s about the only drama these days I pay attention to. I don’t need any drama getting in the way of my love for you. Hulk out. <3 Tim

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throwingideasatthewall · 3 years ago

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Clone Wars Brothers

I know of one of the weakest episodes the weakest relation,

I’m enthused (No I’m not)

Whoa,

It’s red

WHY IS IT RED??

You had one episode about Ven -tress

Is it now her show?

Seriously, what happened in that episode?

Hold up

[Let me ch- -eck]

Nope still is season four

Now with an apparent drop in quality

Great

[ *Cracks open*]

Ai- ght

O-h

B-ea ten

Ah no, he was shocked which yeah should’ve resulted in him being unconscious

But ,“beaten”?

Not the word I would’ve use there,

To be hon-est,

Cr-ea -tor

Oh he exist- ed before her *Spell * So, He’s not exactly Franken stein here (Frankenstein‘s monster if you’re being damn specific] Un-less..

Any-how-

Sense Him,

Bull shit,

But Okay,

(Seriously Dooku is just having all the vengeance today,

Sav-age Op -press

I mean everyone’s pretty equal on energy so I guess an experience And confidence (He can- )

*Seriously what is up with the coughing thing I know that was a something from the Og, But it has to mean something,

And have forseeable consequences

(Aka add to the story)

“A threat..”

Dude you consider-ed Ven -tress a threat last episode,

(Like Maul was apprenticed to Si-d-ious who by all means should be higher on the chain of command than V-en- -tress- -)

(The power chain is all screwy,)

Though I do kind of give them points for addressing the criticism I had last episode, of grievous being assigned assignment way below his belt,

Also excluding a few circumstances this is just constantly kicking with Grievous while he’s down,

And I’m honestly expecting a Face- turn any day now

(Like he got a glow up one episode before it promptly got thrown away, ,) ) “ All of us,”

All of us en-ablers,

“Con-trol,”

You can’t control an adult human being groomer (Se- ntient) . A din-n -er

Also why is the waitress bot fle-e-ing

Like wouldn’t it’s protocol dictate, Either conferring with a customer or Order-ing them to leave?

Like why by any name would you program your waitress bot to panic . And frigh ten- patrons? . Why - A-ight- - W-h

Well, that went on to long to be funny (Having it just cut to him ordering a cheeseburger now that would’ve been funny,)

Also - the hell?

Look nothing about anything that just happened indicated that this guy was on a mission or had any sort of plan other than malician

You can’t show him openly participating in the malici-an one second and then turning around and acting intelligent and on a mission . Not without a transition a whole lot more Of emotion And expla-

Ex;

“Where is it? You sa-”

“Put her down now or I’ll call the author-ities,”

[Catch -es eye- Backs Away - Slow-ly Runs into the alley/ cargo way] [Touches box- has some kind of indicator

[because of now- there’s nothing there, I have no idea what to do with it- Because there was no indicator of what he’s referring to,

Dude just touch the box and was like ‘This must be a clue!’

?? [like you need to throw some sand- or something on there-]

I generally have not feck what they were going for though

[Objectivity needs to reflect with what your chara -cater is saying otherwise I’m just going to assume they’re crazy]

(Aka you don’t need to put all the details out there out-front But you do need some indication. (Again some kind of residue or substance on his fingers)

Again I would have no idea what that would mean but I would have some indication that it meant something in the greater plan and I wasn’t just watching this character go un-accountable

[Sorry but details are im-portant] - ? [So she straight up track ed him right?]

Because if I don’t see a track-ing chip on him. . . I’m going to be a bit mad. . . ? - Yeah those dots are practically on top of each other so they must be in the same feck in din -ner - O-p. - Oh back to this boring plot point, . Maybe it’s gotten better from the documentary, it was . . . ? . They are un-accountable that started a war and people that could and very possibly would’ve murder- ed you at any point,

(I’m not sure jumpiness but generally aggression would be pretty well reason, ( Actually jumpiness at the unaccountable’s would be reasonable)

Also yeah I know her tone is still as dry as sand paper - Zero e-motion - Hey still no e-motion [A lower head and

Quick movement

Aren’t emotions]

Any puppet can lower it’s head and move quickly,

There’s no regrets in her line there’s ��no conflict. . . No inquisitive-ness there what-soever- - No rais. -ing of the eyebrows or lightning of the eyes,

Nor lightning of the tone or any energy,

Do you know to tell her pupils didn’t widen or move in anyway nor did her body language changed at all

... or her tone?

[that’s how you tell it’s fe’cki’n boring)]

There’s no emotional consequence to this at all

[Entertainment as a field that relies completely on empathy, on emotion, emotional stimuli

If you don’t have that

It’s not entertainment

It’s an animation and logistical voice acting how-to-course

[not that that’s not of value, just that it’s not as advertis-ed, Not as promoted, a problem]

Again what does any of this mean?

[This is BOR-ING- ] -

[Pretty sure they’ve never met this guy,]

Why. ? [I know because my amulet is pur -ring,] ] [ All said with no emotion, - ] - [Hot cold hot cold how the thing works nobody fecking knows- - ] [why does he look like a damn Muppet.]

[standing out in the field.]

[Why,]

[it just turned off five minutes ago what makes this time so important? ?

Wow that had no emotion or commitment whatsoever,]

It’s a snake

A sen-tient snake,

[ignoring any boom-er symbolism]

The heck kind of logistics does that make?

Like to make sentient?

It has to have the estimated amount of accountable energy,

Of everyone else

[Otherwise you’re just a cruel God]

Like with Zila

She had to be very delicate

*Em

So,how... ?

[”I have no time for you,” * proceeds to attempt to fight them* Constant characterization and consistency, what?

[This is very Stupid]

[Si-lence]

Oh, Ha Ha ha, it’s supposed to be funny because he’s a cheapskate despite that not being establishing no emotion being behind it , ha ha ha ha, so funny

[Damn this movie]

[Revenge against selfish and entitled boomers can be funny]

[Not in this case with no emotion]

[Or establishment]

[Making this unclear if it’s kicking down at your own level]

Feck you

No Emotion!

[No motivation whatsoever!]

Oh yeah sure they say that his thing is fine his brother whatever, whatever

[That’s a whole lot of telling and a fecking an inconsistent amount of showing

* as well as [lower] quality

If you want to put words and explanations over things happening go to documentary school

[i’m sorry I’m just a little pissed about this being called anything but observation]

If you want to do a thing at least make sure to do it properly!

[I’m a fan of en- tertainment]

[As well as observation]

[Seeing either mis-labeled is a damn shame- ]

[Could’ve been pretty useful,]

[Thanks to mislabeling it’s damn wasted time]

[And effort -]

[which again damn shame , ]

*apologies for the excessive use of [the word] “damn”

Unf-ortunately I don’t have anything else to say because there’s nothing much engaging, happening on screen,

[You know this could’ve been an honestly heartwarming message about someone who’s been treated to tox behavior by their peers and cre-ators, [. em-bittered to the world ] struggling to find value in themselves, On a mission by said pro-genitors, And a sandstorm- Cutting com- munication, To said tox influences,

Except for one (Semi)

Unfortunately due to the lack of commitment that didn’t happen,

The scenes with his communication gets cut is dry and tasteless, as well as (emotionless) , The set up is non-existence to poor taste. - And-

[Well I have no interest in his goals so this action scene is pretty pointless] -

[Nor does this have any tension because these guys are Junk -ers, We’ve seen Savage throw round heavier foes, and we have no idea anything ~ about - this guy ~ to give this any tension - no psy-chological weak -ness or dis -like~ - [You’ve turned a concept that could be a less emotionally implausible Franken -stein, Into dry-wall]

With no emotional in-vestment

[You know what would’ve been fun- [Done in writer’s tense;

If the snake and him had started to form a bond; and if the snake had given him some kind of order like, don’t attack those people;

Something that goes against everything that he’s been taught;

As well as the concept of people responding in re-tribution;

If he does; maybe the snakes showing some com- passion,

Since he knows what it’s like to be re-latively helpless-

Or just any sort of em-otion-

Because there is just nothing there~ ~No humanity there-

No humanity-

In this scene~

Not even inhumanity

[The evils in inhumanity

- Toxic humanity-

Or any - Self awareness-

What-so-ever

Any way

The story-

Continues to grate-

On my nerves-

Til the end-

[Oh look it’s fan-favorite; Maul

He’s [Un-accountable-]

If only you had hadn’t establish- ed everyone else is un- emotional puppets

And any outliers as anomalies-

There might’ve been someone to bounce off of

And give us a scale for how “off this is,

As it stands ‘gruff’ is now a per- sonality- - And people randomly attacking and yelling things at each other is a pretty much norm,

Great job taking all the emot-ion out of your supposed to be emot-ionally impactful moment

. *Re-veal

[Good time to contrast any sort of feelings towards -family-

- it’s - wasted- - You know in the most emotionally charged reveal you wouldn’t think they’d want to hide the eyes- the most emotional part of the body-

[then again you wouldn’t be these writers-]

NOTHING!

[Was gained]

Well.

What an awfully cho-reographed (Put to-gether) (Coordinate) Emotionless dull And un-entertaining Mis- labeled Observational Mess, (With no harsh regards) (I pity the animation team that had their efforts so poorly directed. (Stitch-ed together). (Used)

(Po-orly. Exposé (Ex-ecute)

Turning

What could’ve been an emotionally tense and F-ascinating story;

About a person who’s been subjected to talk with behavior since childhood and even in a supposed partnership (in one’s supposed Gen) being sent on a quest, by one of said person (s)

To find their older brother Gen(eration);

Who has since given into enabling

Getting cut off by a sand storm

F(inding a less tox influence

-That seems to show some interest for his well-being,

The communications refusing to work after the sandstorm leading to the implication that the toxic individual abandon him

The emotional res- ponse-

Getting re-abandoned by the less tox individual-

Encountering the older tox enabling gen -eration;

Who not only physically assa -ults him upon meeting

But refuses to ac-cept That (Seeing as how Savage is 22 (And an adult) It means he’s fail-ed and become the very thing he’s grown to dis-like,

And insist on staying focused on his ven- geance

(Against one group of enablers). )

(Expressing similar disposition to his abusers)

(And attempting to return to them;

Having gone through a world of nothing but cruelty)

Into;

Cardboard cut outs enacting an emotion -ally dead story,-

(With no proper set up)

[Not a yank - at the animation team.- -Just the dead soul -less nature of everything,

Involved.]

With no self-awareness,

About what a dry-

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