#let me know if this needs changing or if it doesn't work for you in any way

[bc-jpeg]

about the mumbo’s “I’m all the friend that you need”.

I remembered something from the start of hc s10.

mumbo: — tell me, why are you here? are you gonna k- are you working on behalf of someone? are you gonna kill me? is that-

iskall: — no! you said this yesterday as well- mumbo! you are like my best friend! and I don’t have many friends. and I would not kill my one friend that I have!

mumbo: — say that to grian! cause grian came over yesterday, he’s not even the red name and he tried to kill me.

iskall: — but he’s got lots of friends!

oh something happened. something happened there this season. something spiralling into mumbo’s brain there from the start.

mumbo rarely interacted even with his minimum of friends in the early seasons, preferring solitude and redstone. and grian completely changed that. he appeared at mumbo’s bases at any given time without a warning, gradually leaving more and more pleasant words about what mumbo creates and that he is generally missed when he disappears. mumbo has never encountered anything like this,

but you get used to good things quickly, right?

and then he disappears for so long that upon his return grian realizing that it was hard to live with a focus on only one particular person who was not around all the time. and naturally decides to devote more time to other people in order to drown out this sadness for the person. maybe he was too intrusive for mumbo? now he's going to awkwardly avoid him because he thinks that mumbo doesn't really need him that much because he leaves him so often?

meanwhile, mumbo thinks that he is letting grian down, or has already let him down completely, since grian decides to be with his other friends more than with him.

and mumbo does not yet know that the doc’s perimeter war in s9 began simply because doc dared to tell grian that he would never be mumbo's best friend. because grian keeps it close to his heart and hasn't told anyone. especially mumbo. the buttercups started because of «there can only be ONE (best friend) …and it is not YOU!”

[hwnglx]

pick a pile - what makes you beautiful? (detailed)

hello dear reader! let's take a look into what makes you so uniquely beautiful. breathe slowly, take your time and use your intuition to go with the pile that speaks to you the most. this is a very specific reading, so it's likely that not every message will speak to everyone. remember to take what resonates, and leave what doesn't. 𓆩♡𓆪

✰ pile 1 ✰

so, this pile definitely gave me the biggest boss vibes. you have very strong energy, with so much major arcana in my spread. i can tell you are not someone to be messed with. (also kinda feel like you might parent or coddle the other piles lmao)

your beauty lies not only within your immense strength, but also in your ability to stand over situations which can appear very dark and difficult on the outside. i do believe you come with your own struggles, insecurities, doubts and fears which don't seem to always find their way to the surface; but you deal with them in such a graceful and impressive way. i can feel some people being in genuine awe of how you handle trials and tribulations. i do think you've been through certain things which have given you thicker skin. now, you know what you want and need in life, you're aware of your potential and what you can do, so even if a situation presents itself in which you find yourself in self-doubt, you believe in the power of hard work and consistency.

you don't seem like the type to dwell on your problems for too long or allow yourself to drown in self-pity, but moreso like a person who feels this desire to work on whatever troubles you. let's say if a situation presents itself to you, in which circumstances seem unfavourable; rather than complaining or remaining stuck in this hopeless place, you'll likely be the type to think about how you can change and work on your own attitude and mindset instead, in order to come out the other side in a stronger manner. you put a lot of importance into remaining confident and keeping a grip on your self-belief. since you see that as the best version of yourself. you appear to be very mature; even if your age is still young, you seem to have a wise soul and an impressingly reliable, as well as responsible nature. maybe you had to grow up quickly, you just give off this energy of someone who had to learn how to be responsible in life very early on.

considering i got both, the emperor and the empress for you, i think a lot of your beauty also lies in your duality. you're likely to have this balance of both feminine and masculine qualities inside of you. you seem to be the type of person who can be assertive, more self-centered and individualistic in some ways, like you do think it's important to focus on yourself in order to find fulfilment in this world. however this doesn't distinguish the compassionate heart you carry for other people. you're someone with an empathetic and kind nature, someone who wants to take care of the people you love.

you could make a very good parent, actually. i think you balance this sense of responsibility, dependability and solidity, with a nurturing heart, a soft and gentle core. you might be the case of someone with a hard shell but soft interior. i feel like you're the type to root for the underdog. someone who takes people under their wing, protects them from external influences. like you'd take a bullet for the people you cherish. (i do think you might be more selective in that aspect though, like you do have your boundaries straight, and wouldn't just throw your hand in the fire for anyone)

this is a random message i got; some of you also might be on the curvier side when it comes to your bodily built, and it makes you very very beautiful. like i can tell that some of pile 1's bodies are bangin! like yes sir or ma'am, go rock that bod with confidence!

another very beautiful thing about you; you do not fear getting your hands dirty. meaning, you're willing to put in the necessary hard work in life. like “if i have to personally run up this hill for several hours straight, then so be it, as long as i finally get to the top!” you aren't someone who will shy away from bearing burdens and heavy weights on your back, you understand the need to hustle in order to succeed. you can feel this need to improve yourself, put in the required effort to keep getting better at everything you do in life. not just for yourself, but also the people around you. you want to be a comfortable and stable figure in your loved one's lives.

i keep feeling like you're just this person people can lean on with no second thought; someone who will have their back no matter what. very loyal, dedicated and passionate energy within you. i'd personally love to be your friend, like i'd feel pretty lucky! i feel like you're the friend who keeps their promises, who's okay with running errands for others. you'd get things done for someone if they're unable to do so; like e.g. picking your friends up and driving them random places. maybe you're the friend at the party who holds themselves back from drinking in order to be the responsible one making sure everyone gets back home safely. you just seem to have this devotion to the ones you love, and wanting to make them feel safe, as well as cared for. you might also be a huge hype man in their lives, always cheering them on and lighting up any dark place they find themselves in. you have such bright and inspirational energy!

you carry this beautiful balance of; focusing on your own interests, ambitions, desires and goals, but also remaining considerate and caring towards the special people in your life.

✰ pile 2 ✰

oh my gawd, this pile is super cute. so, you immediately strike me as someone very independent and freedom-loving. you love to have your own space, and being able to just do whatever you want, whenever you want. i feel like you just have this very contagious and bright energy, where people might trust you to make the best out of every situation you're in. you seem like a big risk-taker, someone who doesn't fear the concept of change, and isn't afraid of starting all over again if you feel like that's necessary. you're so beautiful, in the way of just being down and ready to do things others might shy away from. you might be the person who will drag your friend out the dark and quiet room and tell them to get out, enjoy the beautiful sun on your skin, connect with mother nature, appreciate the smaller things in life and find happiness in them, because that's where true fulfilment lies. there is this very philosophical and poetic side to you. i keep feeling like you might have significant neptune/jupiter/mercury aspects.. i can just see you running through the blooming fields in this almost movie-like way. (random but do you like ghibli movies? you just give me ghibli character vibes, especially kiki's delivery service 🥹 i love that movie, it's so comforting)

you're beautiful in the way where.. you easily see beauty in the world. you seem so easily excitable, and count all the blessings you have in life. i feel like you're the type to find something positive in everything and everyone. random, but you might love photography, and taking pictures of almost everything around you, just because you can see art in anything or any place. you love exploring new places, new cultures, understanding and learning about people or things completely different to what you're used to. you might like to travel, because you enjoy this thought of getting insight into entirely new lifestyles. you're very open-minded.

you aren't worried about leaving toxic people or situations behind if you feel like they just keep you in a negative place. it's kinda giving been there done that. i think you consciously reject negativity now because you're not at that same place anymore, and especially don't want to be anymore. you're so overly protective of your peace now, because you had to deal with so many tribulations, and took so much on the chin from life in order to get to this place of inner peace. you don't allow anyone to take it away from you anymore.

you also don't seem afraid to completely transform. maybe you even enjoy transforming yourself physically, like you love reinventing yourself and can find your identity in things like your fashion. you enjoy expressing your unique nature in that way. i also just feel like you're such a pleasure to be around, people likely just enjoy your presence because it makes them feel like everything will be okay. did anyone ever tell you about how your presence is therapeutic to them? if not, some people might think that without openly expressing it.

i do think you can be very emotional too, which is another beautiful trait of yours. you might be the type to tear up rather easily, i think your interior is very squishy and sweet. you wear your heart on your sleeve in this beautiful and special way. you not being afraid to express your emotions (although sometimes they can just take over you unintentionally lmao dw i relate..) makes you so extraordinary, it gives you this unique light and glow. don't ever lose grip on this wonderful side of you. don't ever feel ashamed of it, and don't allow anyone to make you think you're anything but beautiful for your passion! i feel like you genuinely care about the world, and everything that it involves. your energy is just so pure and innocent in a way, even if you yourself don't see yourself that way. your intentions and heart read as very sweet.

in addition, your beauty lies in your ability to see opportunity of growth in whatever life throws at you. like pile 1, i do believe you have had to deal with your fair share of challenges in life, but this lead to you being able to see how.. even situations that might look awful from an outsiders perspective, can serve you as a learning lesson. “what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.”

again, you're just so philosophical! i feel like we could just sit down together and discuss life for hours, in such a deep and intriguing manner. you seem to have a lot of understanding of the different complexities of life, just because you've experienced a lot of situations in which you had to adapt or adjust. so there's this natural know-how here, it's almost like you're not scared of life's upheavals anymore. you didn't let it discourage you at the time, so best believe it will not bring you down at this point in time. you're so youthful and almost childlike in spirit, but carry a deep sense of knowledge about life. like some other people might turn all bitter if they went through what you have been through, but you remained soft and sweet in this harsh world, which is such a beautiful trait to have! i sincerely applaud you, and hope you can never lose this truly wonderful spark inside of you.

✰ pile 3 ✰

oh, this pile seems so genuinely nice, but i can sense some struggle here too.. first of all, you read as a very humble and down to earth person. like i truly can't sense a single ounce of arrogance inside of you. you feel like you're an eternal student of life, continuously learning with every experience, and growing endlessly. you give off this energy of someone who's always so eager to expand your skills and knowledge on things. especially if you get hooked on something like a fun hobby, you're just so ambitious and approach the learning process with this modest, but determined attitude. you seem quite capable of dealing with constructive criticism, and take it as a way to further better yourself. like yes tell me what i did wrong, so i can improve. definitely a very hard-working and earnest energy within you.

you're so beautiful, because you live and lead with this sense of compassion and acceptance inside of you. you seem to have high emotional intelligence; as well as a lot of empathy for others. you're the type of person to.. hold this cup filled with love, in a crowd full of people fighting each other. while other people are overly competitive and at each other's throats to win over the other, you seem like the one who prefers seeing everyone as equally worthy of praise, equally lovable, equally deserving of respect. i truly don't see you enjoying to put yourself above others, simply because you don't see why you would want to. like i don't think you fully understand this need to argue and cause problems with others, it irks you.

you even might put other people's needs above yours almost naturally, it seems to come very easy to you. (did some of you grow up with a lot of siblings? i feel like there's this natural tendency to supress not only your own desires, but also your own emotions a lot.. i feel like you might've found yourself in plenty of situations where you needed to swallow your pride, bite your tongue, ignore your own emotions or grant others chances you yourself might've wanted.) you might be the type to politely hold the door open for people even though your arm hurts, offer the seat to the elderly even though you yourself are exhausted, allow your friend to grab the opportunity although you might need it just as much.

i do feel like you're quite peace-loving, and don't enjoy arguments at all. you seem excellent at approaching conflicts and problems in, not only this calm and collected manner, but also with this diplomatic and tender sense of understanding towards all parties. do you have any major libra placements? i can sense this beautifully non-judgemental energy in you, where you always seek harmony, no matter what situation you find yourself in. you also just seem balanced in general, and like not much can tick you off. some people might even ask you “how are you always so calm?” although i feel like you can experience feelings quite intensely once they take over you (i feel like you might cry a lot when you're on your own..) you just don't enjoy openly displaying your emotions, and might have problems expressing them outwardly. again, i keep feeling like this likely stems from a deeply rooted place, maybe you've just naturally aquired this mechanism within you, where you shut off your emotions and internalize them a lot.

you might put a lot of thought into how others view you, might dislike the thought of anyone looking at you as overly dramatic. you also seem pretty perfectionistic, especially in closely managing the way you're perceived by people, or the way you treat people. you might often fear doing them wrong, or overstepping any boundaries. i can sense an avoidance of expressing or asserting yourself strongly again here, because you just don't want anyone to feel like you're doing too much. (i know this is a reading that focuses more on positives, but spirit is telling me this selflessness in you makes you immensely beautiful.. maybe you even have a lot of egocentric people around you, therefore your kindness just stands out even more. don't lose that sincere heart you have for others, however; you need to listen to what you yourself want more as well <3 learn to balance these two sides in you out, because if not, others might take advantage of you)

i do think though, that a lot of this calmness might be a result of your maturity. it's interesting because on the one hand you can feel like the young student who still believes they have so much to learn from life, but at the same time, you do have a lot of valuable advice to give to people, just because you might relate to a lot of the things others go through. you seem amazing at putting yourself in someone else's shoes, i can feel people thinking you're a great listener.

i just feel like your unique beauty lies in this gentle, pleasant and mild energy you bring to the table. you'd be the type of person i could tell my deepest darkest secrets to comfortably, and i feel like you wouldn't mutter a word to anybody. like your friends probably can tell you the wildest sht they've done, without any embarrassment. or call you at any given moment, and you'd be there to listen to their angry rants or rages, and just take it all in quietly.

[grison-in-space]

you know what else fucks me up about the US election? one of the things that has left me reeling in bewilderment and grief this month?

I'm a scientist, y'all.

That means that I am, like most American research scientists, a federal contractor. (Possibly employee. It's confusing, and it fucks with my taxes being a postdoctoral researcher.) I get paid because someone, in the long run ideally me, makes a really, really detailed pitch to one of several federal grant agencies that the nation would really be missing out if I couldn't follow up on these thoughts and find concrete evidence about whether or not I'm right.

Currently, my personal salary is dependent on a whole department of scientists convincing one of the largest and most powerful granting agencies that they have a program that is really good at training scientists that can think deeply about the priorities of the agency. Those priorities are defined by the guy who runs the agency, and he gets to hire whatever qualified people he wants. That guy? The Presidential Administration picks that one. That's how federal agencies get staffed: the President's administration nominates them.

All of the heads of these agencies are personally nominated by the president and their administration. They are people of enormous power whose job is to administer million-dollar grants to the scientists competing urgently for limited funds. A million dollars often doesn't go farther than a couple of years when it's intended to pay for absolutely everything to do with a particular pitch, including salaries of your trainees, all materials, travel expenses, promoting the work among other researchers, all of it—so most smart American researchers are working fervently on grants all the time.

The next director of the NIH will be a Trump appointee, if he notices and thinks to appoint one. NSF, too; that's the group that funds your ecology and your astroscience and your experimental mathematics and physics and chemistry, the stuff that doesn't have industry funding and industry priorities. USDA. DOE, that's who does a lot of the climate change mitigation and renewable energy source research, they'll just be lucky if they can do anything again because Trump nigh gutted them last time.

Right now, I am working on the very tail end of a grant's funding and I am scurrying to make sure I stay employed. So I'm thinking very closely about federal agency priorities, okay? And I'm thinking that the funding climate for science is going to get a lot fucking leaner. I'm seeing what the American people think of scientists, and about whether my job is worth doing. It's been a lean twelve years in this gig, okay? Every time the federal government gets fucked up, that impacts my job, it means that I have to hustle even harder to get grants in that let me support myself—and, if I have any trainees, their budding careers as well!—to patch over the lean times as much as we can.

So I've been reeling this week thinking about how funding agency priorities are going to change. I work on sex differences in motivation, so let me tell you, the politics reading this one for my next pitch are going to be fun. I'm working on a submission for an explicitly DEI-oriented five year grant with a cycle ending in February, so that's going to be an exercise in hoping that the agency employees at the middle levels (the ones that know how to get things done which can't be replaced immediately with yes men) can buffer the decisions of those big bosses long enough to let that program continue to exist a little while longer.

Ah, Christ, he promised Health & Human Services (which houses the NIH) to RFK, didn't he? We'll see how that pans out.

I keep seeing people calling for more governmental shutdowns on the left now, and it makes me want to scream. The government being gridlocked means the funding that researchers like me need doesn't come, okay? When the DOE can't say fucking "climate change," when the USDA hemorrhages its workers when the agency is dragged halfway across the country, when I watch a major Texan House rep stake his career on trying to destroy the NSF, I think: this is what you people think of us. I think: how little scientists are valued as public workers. Why am I working this hard again?

This is why I described voting as harm reduction. Even if two candidates are "the same" on one thing you care about, they probably aren't the same level of bad on everything. Your task is to figure out the best person to do the job. It's not about a fucking tribalist horse race. A vote is your opinion on a job interview, you fucks. We have to work with this person.

Anyway, I'm probably going to go back to shaking quietly in despair for a little longer and then pick myself up and hit the grind again. If I'm fast, I might still get the grant in this miserable climate if I run, and I might get to actually keep on what I'm trying to do, which is bring research on sex differences, neurodivergence and energy balance as informed by non-binary gender perspectives and disability theory to neuroscience.

Fuck.

[voikiraz]

Lover ; niki 니키 .

Lovers . bf!niki x fem!reader w. None i think step ? #758 M.recordings ! [ i cant believe its overrr, but im so grateful for the love yall gave this seriesand im glad you enjoyed ittt ! Mwahh ]

Syn. Lover niki and actions he does that makes you fold every time

ꕤ ni-ki always has a thing for making you origami stuff, whenever you meet up, he has something made out of paper for you, a flower on a picnic date, a bird while you're watching the sunrise, an animal when you're in a pet shop cause you're thinking of adopting a pet, a little envelope with a paper that has his number even though you already have it, everything, you name it.

One day you decided to show up unannounced at his dorm.

You had made him an origami flower, deciding to pay him back for all the hard work he put into the ones he made you, you knew how hard it is from the constant tries that you were taking, over and over again.

You knocked on his door three times then waited, humming to some song while waiting for someone to open the door.

Once the door opened, a shocked niki stood in front of you.

"What are you doing here?"

"Is that how you greet your girlfriend?" You ask, frowning.

"No- I'm sorry I just-" he tries to reason but then a smiley jake pops up from behind him.

"He was making you an origami bouquet and he doesn't want you to know" Jake says, rolling his eyes as riki groans, there goes the surprise.

ꕤ TRUST ME WHEN I TELL YOU. this boy 100% has a locked folder of a ton of pictures of you. He can have pictures from your born day and you would never know where he got them from.

He probably bribed your dad to get these photos.

And the way he takes pictures of you all the time.

If you two meet on campus on a busy day and you only have 2 minutes to talk, HE WILL TAKE A PIC OF YOU.

he just loves you like that, and he probably looks at these pictures all the time.

You thought he just takes pics for fun and delets them later, but you found out that it's totally the opposite.

"Yo niki, can I change the song?" Sunoo asks from the passenger seat, niki sitting right behind him with the aux plugged in his phone.

"Yeah sure" niki hands him his phone, being stupid enough to not close the opened folder that's FLOODED with your pics.

"Do you seriously have a full folder of y/n pictures?" Sunoo says and nikis eyes widen, snatching his phone from sunoos hold as you stare at him with a smile.

"Wait you do? I want to see" you say and he just rolls his head back, wondering why everything gets exposed by his bandmates, he can never live in peace.

ꕤ anywhere, everywhere, all the time. Your scrunchie or hair tie is always around his srist.

First sleepover? He stole a hair tie.

You went out on a cafe date and you need to tie your hair? He has one!

It's the start of his concert but he almost forgot to take off your hair scrunchie from his wrist.

He always will Have one.

It came to a point where fans started questioning it.

Whenever he comes over he steals one, or whenever you let your hair down, he just steals it and never returns it.

You started to think you will never see them again (you won't)

He has a collection. Trust me.

It just makes him feel close to you, but he will never say it, he hides it by saying 'you always lose your hair ties, and you always whine when we're out that you want to tie your hair that's why I have one with me'

Total lie, but you find him adorable so you let him.

ꕤ okay this may sound stupid, but you and niki would definitely buy colouring books and colour together when you're alone in the dorm, away from the eyes of your friends.

Now look me in the eyes and say he wouldn't do that.

One day you were hanging together and you saw he had a colouring game so you just bought some colouring books without saying anything to him.

And then you just go to his dorm, your bag filled with colours and colouring books, and you 'force' him to colour with you.

(You let him pick the drawing)

You two took it so seriously, assigning each one with colours and the spaces they should colour, and you definitely made a competition about who would and wouldn't go out of line.

It just became your thing at this point.

© voikiraz 2O24

[kraftykelpie]

Originally a concept from "after the war" where Cody and Obi-Wan are discussing their long-term future goals, but it fits @codywancomfort as well!

I wrote fanfic in the tags so I had to rewrite it all here, below the cut! <3

“I've been thinking about what you said-” Cody makes an inquisitive noise in response, his eyes shut in bliss, rubbing circles into Obi-Wan's hip, his other hand playing with russet strands “-about children.”

Cody's eyes shoot open and his left hand stops in its motions, albeit briefly.

“I thought I wanted to take on another Padawan after Anakin, but I wonder if that emptiness was something I hadn't felt since Korkie, and-” he takes a breath. “- I miss that. I missed that with Korkie. That growth, watching that life form and become something of your own to watch grow into a fully recognized being of their own right.”

Cody takes a deep breath to avoid accidentally inhaling too sharply and choking on spit. He did that once after Obi-Wan winked at him on the bridge of the Negotiator. It was embarrassing.

He looks imploringly at Obi-Wan, letting Obi-Wan take his time getting his thoughts out. Cody doesn't need to add anything, Obi-Wan already knows about his ruminations about little cadets and wanting to raise one, no need to beat crumpled clankers about it.

“Darling, if you'll have me-”

He's cut off my Cody, honest to Karl, giggling and pulling Obi-Wan close. He buries his head in the crook of Obi-Wan's shoulder, while muffled, going,

“It'd be more strategically sound if we got married first though, don't y’think?” He presses a kiss into Obi-Wan's shoulder. Obi-Wan chuckles at the phrasing as Cody moves to sit up.

It's spur of the moment, really. Anakin won't be pleased with his former master exchanging mandalorian marriage vows post-coitus; though Anakin isn't really allowed to judge is he? He got secretly married and didn't invite his master, so fair's fair, really.

The vows had been a long time coming, and it was a wonder that they hadn't said them sooner. Though, the ongoings of a Republic changed by war and internal corruption had made it difficult to get married, between one half of the pair working hard with the Jedi Order to try and restructure systems that should have been in place a long-time ago, and the other off championing Vodé rights delegations alongside Rex (who's leading the charge).

Now's as good a time as any.

Obi-Wan smiles up at Cody, and dryly posits “ suppose we should make it official before we go announcing pregnancies, hm?”

Cody, lit by the artificial Sun of Coruscant, looks down at Obi-Wan with all the reverence and heartfelt adoration of a patron to their god.

“That'd be a good idea”.

[tommyssupercoolblog]

Hey no hold on you don't have to be nice to men who are already actively being mean to you or something. Just don't be a fucking TERF who thinks men are born inherently evil and incapable of change. I thought the point was "if all I can be is a monster then I may as well accept it" not "oh no girls snap at me when I tell them they shouldn't have rights"??

The guy escaped the pipeline but the point of the post isn't about guys who are IN IT it's about boys who aren't. Who are 12, 15, not assholes yet. It's about stopping them from BECOMING alt right, not how to handle people who are already.

Like if you are told that identifying as man or being born in a male body (or both, a lot of people say both) makes you evil in itself. That you are discriminatory by default. You might decide there's no point in being kind because you'll always fail. I know you know men are individuals but just because you know that doesn't mean everyone does. TERFs certainly don't, and radical feminism is popping off at the same time all this other shit is happening. Their whole THING is that men are violent rapists from birth who can never be changed, and doing damage control rather than working for actual equality. There are people who genuinely believe that cis men, and trans men and trans women as well, are all dangerous and need to be locked out of everyone else's spaces.

"but TERFs aren't leftist" firstly they claim to be, but secondly...lots of queer people a d self-described leftists have been parroting their talking points without even realizing it. "I wish I lived in a world with no men lol, men DNI, kill all men hehe" reblogging posts from literal TERFs and not realizing it because they didn't say anything bad about trans people specifically, and because they go "don't worry trans men, you are also included in my DNI and posts about wanting you dead. Also trans women aren't men so I don't want you dead and you can reblog"

"sorry I'll delete that post now I didn't realize the "we should invent a disease that wipes out men" post was made by a TERF whoopsies"

If you already understand that men aren't evil by some god given nature design then the post.... isn't ABOUT you???? Yes there's plenty of people who know better than that but there are also plenty of people who don't. It depends on who you're seeing in your algorithm, or on Tumblr who you're following. Just don't let posts like that spread, so we can hopefully keep them from reaching too many people

You can still tell people who are actively discriminatory to fuck off. And you SHOULD. Sexists and rapists don't deserve to be coddled. But a pipeline starts slowly, creeps up over months or years as you listen to more and more voices of hate. This just helps people from starting that path- because a lot of them would hate the very person they are now in the beginning. It started slow

Edit: for emphasis or in summary i guess, If you already know men aren't born evil then the only thing you have to worry about is shutting down TERFs and people who parrot them. If you think the parroting is done with well intentions then you can always explain why gender essentialism itself is harmful and anti-femenist besides. Stop the rise of that and it can help

"as a guy who escaped the alt-right pipeline, [*blames it on Misandry*]"

[dookiecurly]

okay dookie.. hear me out on this one,I've been cooking this idea in my mind for far too long, please bring it justice.

sooo- reader is on board the tulpar with the crew, they're a happy-go-lucky cheerful individual with an extremely charismatic personality and are jaw-droppingly attractive. ( Glazing ik forgive me )

here comes the twist,just by pure luck or by some coincidence or the other,the crew finds out that the reader was a very very very popular model in the past.

[ they found some of their old MAGAZINES/PORNOS ]

not just any model- playboy/gravure models who used to be incredibly popular and and a hotshot,but left that career in the past to focus on bigger things in space.

How would the crew react? Or behave towards them after finding out about their past? Would they be attracted towards her? Please I need to know you write so well

Uhhhmmm uhmmmmm. . Ookayyyy..... Okay.

Imagine how Curly felt when he found out the new worker, WHO HE DID NOT LOOK UP AND DOWN BECAUSE I KNOW HE'S NOT A PERVERT BECAUSE HES MY HUSBAND YOU DIPSHIT, was a model! Plus, he can see your tits too. I guess, he came back to Earth and was just browsing around a random shop when he found the magazine. Usually, he doesn't even bat an eye at them because let me say this again HE'S NOT A WEIRDO. Not to say that all people who buy revealing girl magazines are weirdos (they are). But he saw your face and was so shocked. Like, wow! He doesn't confront you about it. The first time he saw you after he saw the magazine, Curly stares you up and down with the image of your bare body with a bikini on. Of course, when you're not looking. This only happened a few times before he got used to it. People change, and he doesn't have the right to pry into their personal life. If you do tell him about your old job, he wouldn't be super... Surprised. I can't tell if he'd tell you that he already knew or he'd just act like he didn't. You choose.

JIMMY, might be ecstatic. First time he saw you, pretty face, pretty body, oh he is PLOTTING. I'm sorry, it's the truth. Now, he's found a magazine of you! YOU! Basically naked. When he found that magazine, he fucking stole it. 1. He doesn't want to be known as those guys, 2. In this economy? For a fancy paged excuse of a book? Yeah, no. Sometimes masturbates to it. Jimmy would definitely use it as blackmail if you don't want people finding out about your old job. Might even use it to get into your pants.

Okay so, I've got two perspectives on this for Swansea. First, you're a young model. Maybe he thought you were a pretty face, but it doesn't affect him that much. Pretty girls are everywhere, he doesn't need to get a boner about. When he saw the magazine, he didn't give a shit. Hes too old to care, but if you tell him, he'll say that he already knew.

Second, if you're around the same age and used to be a model in your 20s but wanted to try out a new job. Swansea thought you were quite youthful and pretty for your age (he's jealous), but still doesn't think much of it until he hears your name. Of course, young Swansea, imo, wasn't into magazines as well. But, he definitely knows the names of a few models. Who says his old friends weren't weirdos? Then he just brushes it off like, "Nah, probably a coincidence. Millions and billions of people are living in the universe, there's bound to be someone with the same name". Then when you tell him, he's like... A little shocked... But goes back to work. Thats all.

Daisuke already knows. DON'T TELL ME THAT HE DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW WHEN YOU CAME IN. I have a feeling that he's either really into the news of celebrities (Oh, no! Y/N quits modeling at age __?!???? Outrageous!!!) or his friends told him. Within a few moments, Daisuke is already up to you, asking if youre Y/N. Gets a pic and an autograph, and now he's happy. Yay >3<!!!

Anya, i think would also kind of know a few models. But only the really popular ones. She strikes me as a person who used to daydream of being as pretty as the girls on the cover, but then grew out of it. I don't think shes an insecure person if we're talking about looks. When she sees you, she definitely notices that you're pretty, but won't say much about it. Maybe a compliment, but that's all. Probably won't notice that you're one of the girls on the cover, but when she does, she kinda just... Doesn't say anything. Again, I don't think she thinks it's her business. If you tell her when she already knows, she'll just calmly say that she knew. If she didn't know until then, she'll probably be a little shocked but thats all. Nothing extravagant.

[honeygrahambitch]

"Even Will Graham has a better sex life than I do." Jimmy said, as if he had been holding that sentence inside for too long.

Beverly and Brian abandoned the blood samples they were working on and looked at him in disbelief as if they were trying to make sure they got it right.

"One question would be how do you know that?" Brian asked. "I doubt Will is the type to talk about stuff like that."

"That's easy, haven't you seen Hannibal?" Beverly asked rolling her eyes.

"I am not particularly into men."

"You don't have to be in order to tell that someone must excel in bed. It's the attitude."

"Stop that." Jimmy interrupted their banter. "I overheard a discussion between the two of them."

"Do we really need to know?" Brian said as he looked at Beverly for support. However, her opinion was different.

"Share."

"Alright but this doesn't leave the lab. It stays between us." Jimmy said. After all, Will was his friend and he didn't have anything against Hannibal. He was usually not the one to gossip but this felt like something that needed to be debated. "They are having a threesome."

"No way." Beverly said as she elbowed Brian who remained dumb.

"Who's the lucky lady?" Brian asked.

"Why did you immediately assume it's a lady?"

"For more diversity? I don't know how these things work?"

"Can you shut up and listen?" Jimmy cut them off. "I overheard Will asking Hannibal whether their plans for the night have changed. Hannibal had said that they did not and then pulled out this business card and handed it to Will. Will was like- a sport trainer? He will be a handful."

"I told you it's a man!" Beverly told Brian then turned back to Jimmy. "That doesn't prove anything though."

"Maybe if you two listened I could get to the point. So, Will said that and Hannibal was amused and said "I am confident we can handle him. Cannot be worse than the one last week. I was not proud of the way we left his bedroom"."

"Shut up..." Brian whispered. Beverly didn't say anything, her lips parted in disbelief. "And then?"

"Then Will said...damn, I hate that I have to repeat his words but he said..."He was bigger than either of us expected. I mean, for a finance guy, he was quite a challenge. My back still hurts."" Jimmy went on. "And Hannibal was like "the one we are having tonight will definitely be in good shape. I will be there, I am not letting him touch you.""

"Christ." Beverly said. "And?"

"And Will said "As if I need you to take care of me. Remember how the one from two weeks ago surprised you from behind? You were lucky I was there." Then they noticed me because of the stupid coffee machine who started beeping. And I swear to God, their surprised expressions indicated exactly the fact that I was not supposed to hear that."

"Wow." Brian said thoughtfully. "Every week. Good for them. That's how you keep things interesting in a relationship."

"I wouldn't have believed Hannibal would share Will with anyone." Beverly commented.

"Will might have a say in that?" Jimmy suggested. "Anyway, I couldn't believe it. I was afraid I took things out of context maybe?"

"Definitely not." Beverly said. "What else could they have been talking about?"

***

"Do you think Jimmy overhead us earlier?" Will said as he looked for their knives in the trunk of the car.

"I doubt it. It doesn't prove anything. We were quite subtle." Hannibal replied as he put his scalpel in his left pocket. "Ready? He must be home by now."

"Let's go. I don't want to spend the whole night butchering this guy. By the way, what did he do?"

"Insinuated I do not take my physical health seriously."

"He just hasn't seen what's underneath that suit." Will replied, making Hannibal smile.

[mabel-multiverse-explorer]

Gruncle Ford obviously had a phase where he liked being around you. And the axolotl had to have had a little faith that you could change in order to even let you join his therapy program! The Oracle was your friend until she realized how horrible you are. Are you too blind to realize that or are you just ignoring it because you keep messing up every single friendship you have! Normally if you know something makes someone mad you wouldn't even mention it. I expected you to at least try.

You tricked him, you were never his friend. You were just using him to build your stupid portal and then tortured him when that didn't work out. If you cared about him you wouldn't have hurt him, friends are supposed to care about each other. He told me everything. I wish he would've told me it all sooner because then I never would've trusted you! I don't need a happily ever after if something doesn't work out I have my family and friends to lean on. You can only have a good time if you've had bad ones. I hope you get what you want, because I want to see the look on your face when you're still miserable.

That'll never happen.

Harassing that old man

[silverlining-ships]

Music comms are CLOSED!! Check out the waitlist here!!

Ok y'know what, screw it. My brain seems to require three-four pieces at one time (genuinely cannot figure out why that is), and with the fact I only have two queued up right now and the game I'm composing for doesn't need any tracks at the moment, I'm getting composer's block again. So we're OPENING my music requests!!

I'm actually stunned at how many people seemed interested in getting a piece of soundtrack music for their f/o. I'm opening it to non-mutuals, and it's totally free! If you're concerned about paying/tipping for work, I'm always happy to receive content for my selfship, but I will not accept any money, and there's no pressure to tip content anyway. Again, this is for fun!

This is how it works:

Fill out this google form with the title of your ship, some songs you like, instruments, etc etc.

You can message on Tumblr or Discord (@/slipperson on Discord) on top of submitting the form too! I'll reach out myself once I get started on your piece.

I'll sketch out a draft, which is exactly like sketching out a basic pose for art - it'll typically only use piano/minor percussion. Sometimes I'll even give a simple concept before I flesh out a draft. I'll send it to you for approval.

If changes are needed, I'll refine the draft and re-update. If not, I'll go on to fleshing out the instrumental - this means adding instruments, changing volume (for example, in my first example, I used a lot of "dynamics"/volume changes to simulate the swelling of instruments). This is like adding the flat colors in a piece of art!

I'll send it to you again - I'll make changes upon your request, but if approved, I'll finally go ahead and mix the final draft. This means putting it through an audio program (audacity if you're curious!) and polishing the sound. This is like rendering the lighting!

After it's done, I'll send it to you for once last listen. Upon approval, I'll post it to Soundcloud, link it on Tumblr, and tag you in the post!

Important bits:

No comship/proship/aged up-or-down/RPF ships. Live action characters are fine as long as it's not the actual person. Familial/platonic ships are totally okay!

If you are a minor/ageless blog, I'm willing to write a piece for familial/platonic content, but not QPR/romantic.

Downtime is 1-2 months after I first open your request. I may finish it sooner, but no later than 2 months. This is because music generally takes awhile--30 seconds of music can take me 4-5 hours to concept! I also tend to work on 3-4 pieces of music at a time.

I will give frequent updates. Don't be afraid to reach out if you're curious on the status!

My work is never cleared to be used commercially or in AI programs. We're a bunch of selfshippers on Tumblr, so I know we all hate AI, but it's worth the mention. I tend to be strict on copywrite - it'll stay under my name, all rights reserved - however, you are free to use your piece wherever you'd like as long as it's not commercial use, used in a monetized campaign/video/form of media, and not used in AI.

I may put these tracks on a streaming service at a later date - not on Spotify, as the service is TERRIBLE with allowing their work to be remixed into AI. Something like Bandcamp or Soundcloud for Artists. If you are uncomfortable with this, please let me know.

Examples:

I will have my queue/completed list on my carrd here.

Thank you so much for your interest!! I'm actually so stunned I got so much love for this, and I'm excited to celebrate your ships with you!

heart border

[mariacallous]

I spent years doing the "protecting people from going against their own interests" when I did homeless outreach and public assistance case management - I devoted hours and hours to sitting down with people, working with them, explaining things to them, getting things set up for them so that all they would need to do is sign some paperwork and meet with someone - and I can't tell you how many times it didn't matter because they didn't fucking want to do it.

The number of times I had people come up to me and emotionally tell me they wanted help and to get better and to change things, and so I'd work with them only for the next day to have them brush it off or de-prioritize it.

One of the lessons I learned from that was not to not help people, but you cannot help someone who doesn't want to help themselves until they want to. And sometimes that never comes. They are adults, and for the most part wholly competent. But they're the ones who make the choice. And they're the ones who have to let you know when they're ready.

A lot of Americans are not at the point where they're ready. And I'm going to take them at their word.

[sleepy-aletheas]

I love that the sentiment of "I know what's best for you, why aren't you listening to me" was always a two-way issue between them Before.

With Alhaitham, it's pretty straightforward. He saw a problem, and tried to brute force it away, because he didn't understand back then that internal struggles aren't easily solved by just going "hmmm nope" and move to healthier mindsets and good boundaries.

Kaveh's altruism isn't the core problem, but the way he goes about it; and Alhaitham tried to fix it in the worst way by going directly for the problem by himself, even if it wasn't his battle to fight.

Kaveh needed a shoulder to lean on, not a savior to fix him.

But in a sense, it goes the other way around too, where Kaveh was always someone who tried to fit in and be a part of the collective; seeing a loner Alhaitham made him want to bring his junior between people and change him to fit in too.

He would try to bring people closer to Alhaitham through their research, berate him for not helping others over and over, point out every single "selfish" action and hoping Alhaitham would eventually go "you're right".

Kaveh was always someone who could bend himself into ways that fit in the social situation so he could be as helpful as possible, and seeing Alhaitham, who refused to do it at all even if he was capable of it, must have driven him insane. His junior is able of anything he puts his mind to, and he just doesn't want to?

Alhaitham needed to be understood, not changed to someone else's whim.

It's also why their eternal debates about their ideals lasted so long. If it was always about their subjective ideas and train of thoughts, it was fine to dig into. There was nothing inherently wrong about it, and could be separated from their persons easily enough. But the moment they went from "altruism vs egoism" to "Kaveh's guilt vs Alhaitham's selfishness" they both crossed their boundaries of debate into personal dispute; and those topics could be seen as their biggest inner obstacles they had to deal with in their past and present.

It's also why Kaveh was always hostile-adjacent before the end of Parade of Providence; they blurred the line of ideals and their persons enough for their frustrations to become synonyms to everything. And with their miscommunication, misunderstandings, and ridiculously sized pride and stubbornness, it took Kaveh to be fully hit with the reality of his father's fate and seeing Alhaitham try to give him the tools to deal with his guilt himself, to realize that they both changed and it doesn't have to be "Kaveh vs Alhaitham" anymore.

And then in the subsequent events, every time they pop up onto the screen, they are more open to each other, more relaxed, more...understanding of each other and their boundaries.

They still poke fun, and point out their weaknesses, and side eye everything said and done, because they cannot be Alhaitham and Kaveh without bickering (and making it a spectacle for everyone else). But they don't make it a pointed attack anymore. They don't take it personally, don't berate and demean. Instead they listen to what the other has to say, and ruminate over it, instead of flying into fights on sight.

Alhaitham learned to trust Kaveh to work through life on his own, and be there as a support.

Kaveh learned to let Alhaitham have his space to decide who he wants to be and who he lets in close.

They're not meant to fix each other, they're meant to be companions. Sometimes it's as simple as that.

you were not mine to save -> to be loved is to be changed

i keep thinking about how

if you boil down alhaitham & kaveh's akademiya-era fallout fight, it was that alhaitham wanted to change kaveh & kaveh could never agree with his proposed course of action

but now, as full grown adults, alhaitham isnt trying to change kaveh anymore

that core conflict does reoccur, as it did during Parade of Providence when alhaitham lectured kaveh after Act II & kaveh got annoyed

(even though Alhaitham was obviously just worried about kaveh's health/wellbeing...)

this is a common pattern of behavior for them: alhaitham is worried about kaveh & kaveh reacts defensively to it

which speaks to how stubborn & hyper-independent kaveh is

despite being someone who's dedicated to giving back to the community and contributing towards the larger social good, he's quite determined on his own path in life

he'll bear the consequences (ie bankruptcy) all by himself if necessary...! and he's much too stubborn to be talked out of his own decisions

i dont think there was any possible way kaveh could have walked away from the wrecks of the first build of alcazarzaray and still be at peace with himself

and kaveh even admits he was naive (in his teapot dialogue), but he doesnt regret it still even now

so i think its cool alhaitham realised that there's no point in trying to convince kaveh to change who he is

such is kaveh. kaveh will not be someone different, not even for alhaitham. his work & altruism are parts of his core identity

why fight a mountain who will not be moved?

instead, alhaitham goes for more "harm reduction" strategies:

help cover kaveh's bar tabs, which means he's also the one lambad calls to pick up kaveh & see kaveh home safely

snark at kaveh when he's ranting about clients to keep him in a righteous mood instead of getting depressed

there's a quote about how to be loved is to be changed....

and alhaitham certainly has changed so much from that smart-mouthed student who had pinpointed what he thought was the root of kaveh's overbearing altruism and figured he could fix kaveh's problems with that knowledge!

to now as an adult with a lot more life experience: alhaitham knows that kaveh isn't his to save

and the more he tries to force kaveh to changing, the more likely kaveh is to dig his heels in

alhaitham doesnt need to be kaveh's minder or overbearing best friend--

he wants to be kaveh's partner, his equal, which means respecting kaveh's choices for what they are

anyways kaveh's drowner analogy works rly nicely for this core conflict between them (changing people vs supporting them and protecting them from harm)

& i cant believe its canon

i really appreciate this aspect of their relationship too-- it feels very mature & realistic...

how easy it would be if you could just TELL someone how to fix their problems!

its very frustrating to see someone you care about run straight towards problems again & again...

but you can't change someone's mind bc you want it to be that way. they have to decide on their own, on their own volition, and to truly believe in their decision, for the changes to really stick

as much as it sucks that you can't just solve people's problems for them

the human experience is so much richer for all of our different perspectives and ideas and principles that will not be compromised bc someone else wanted it to be

you can't control people's thoughts & that's for the best (also alhaitham's SQ is literally about this lmao)

[garciaasfluffypen]

take care of me (like i take care of you) pt. 3

pairing: jemily x reader word count: 2.4k warnings: SURPRISE i finished part three and wanted to post it so i could get this cross posted to ao3 hehe. its time to talk(tm) about everything that happened! y/n's rejection sensitive dysphoria episode is a prominent aspect of this part. poor emily doesn't really know what to do except comfort her girlfriends, jj has some issues she's working through, y/n feels absolutely horrible about everything that conspired

after everything that had happened in the past two hours, you were drained. you barely made it to the bedroom before bursting out into tears. this was it. this was the big kablooey. jj hated you now, there was no doubt about it. considering the way she reacted when you had let the term slip past your lips… you never should have done it. you pushed too hard, and this was the end. you’d have to change your name and move to timbuktu so nobody could find you ever again and you’d never be able to embarrass yourself in front of jj and emily anymore. the harsh what did you just call me? reverberated through your mind as you let the sobs take over your body, practically doubling over with the sheer force of guilt. you couldn’t believe yourself. how could you let it get that bad? it hadn’t even been three months and you already fucked up. but that was just it, wasn’t it? the three month curse you were stuck with. nothing romantic ever lasted past three months. it was only time that this one ended, giving you a chance to reset and find something new. your exes were right, you were never good enough. you always did something wrong. it was bound to happen sooner rather than later, and you needed to expect the worst. 

peeling off the clothes you had worn to the zoo, you blindly felt in what had been dubbed your drawer for your jammies. you had gotten the shirt from an online store and it was the perfect shirt for when you were having bad days or sensory overloads. and a bonus, it was long enough to cover your butt and go halfway down your thighs. you had gotten it big on purpose, and you were glad you did. once you felt the fabric, you pulled it on and stumbled back to the bed, grabbing a pillow and holding it close to your chest as you continued to try and calm yourself down. logically, you knew you were over reacting, but the fact you were tired mixed with the immense guilt you felt for making jj feel bad… everything piled up and you found yourself trying not to spiral more than you already had. 

the door opened and a figure stood there for a second before coming over and pulling you into the biggest hug they could muster. after a second, the scent of emily flew through your senses and slowly but surely you started to calm down as you curled into her arms. 

“oh, lovey…” 

this was one of the downsides to how bad your adhd and rejection sensitive dysphoria was- when you cried, you cried hard. you had gotten good at bottling up your feelings into a little corner of your mind that barely got touched unless you had a whole weekend carved out to mope around. those weekends were far and few between these days, seeing as the budget increase the bau got gave them more opportunities to take cases. it wasn’t too bad, until this happened and you cried so hard you felt like you might throw up. 

you curled into emily’s chest, barely registering the door opening. a red eyed jj stood in the doorframe, hands wringing together as she looked for you. jj looked worse for wear, emily noted. the last time she had seen jj like this was when they were at the fertility doctor earlier in the year, when they talked about the possibility of emily carrying a viable pregnancy. but that wasn’t anything they could talk about right now. the puffiness around her eyes was evident, tear marks showing where she had piled on concealer earlier that morning. she sniffled, gaining your attention. your head perked up and you felt your heart drop when you saw how upset jj was. wordlessly, you shifted on the bed to make room for jj, letting her crawl in, curling herself up between the gap you had created. she wrapped her arms around you, squeezing you tight as she could as a single tear fell down her face. you wiped it away with the pad of your thumb, shooting her a small smile. 

“i’m sorry i reacted that way, baby.” 

her words were muffled into the palm of your hand, her breath dancing across your skin as you put your cheek on top of your head. your logical thinking skills slowly started to poke through the barriers your rejection sensitive dysphoria always put up during these moments, the realization that it also upset jj hitting you like a ton of bricks. you hated seeing her so upset, especially when you knew you caused some of the upset. granted, everything was still so new and you all were getting used to the idea of the three of you being together, but it still hurt you more than you could ever put into words. 

“no, it’s my fault.” you started. “i pushed you too hard. i should have asked before assuming i could just call you mommy and get away with it. do you…?” you trailed off, hoping that jj knew what you were trying to ask.  

“i’m not sure how i feel about the use of mommy.” jj said, quieter than normal. “it didn’t make me feel… i didn’t like it.” 

emily raised her eyebrow, slightly shocked that jj didn’t give you the full truth. while she knew what seemingly the true reason jj didn’t like being called mommy, she knew that it would be something she revealed to you in due time. hell, jj was still figuring it out herself. the dislike of the feminine terms was something that had started within the past year and a half. yes, jj was very feminine presenting and loved dressing up when given the opportunity, yet she had begun to start hating when she was perceived in a feminine matter. it was an interesting late life dilemma to have, and she wasn’t sure how to go about it. she had been so secure in her identity for years, and to start questioning everything? it had started to send jj into a spiral of thoughts she frankly wasn’t ready to think about yet.

the only other person who knew about her dilemma was tara. it had come out one night while the two were having wine after a long case and emily was stuck at the office filling out more paperwork than intended due to her having shot the unsub. the two of them were a bottle and a half deep into pinot gritiot, and jj had blurted out “do you ever just… not want to feel like a girl?” and now here they were, with emily being the second person to know that jj had started to despise the feminine terms of endearment she had been taught to love growing up. it scared her. but not as much as the thought of you thinking you lost her. 

“emmy?” you looked to emily. “do you like being called mommy? because for some reason it felt very natural and i don’t know why.” 

“we can toy around with it.” emily squeezed your hand. “thank you for asking.” 

“i’m sorry i was super bratty earlier, too. i let it go too far.”

“i thought it was hot, actually,” jj started to blush. “i do think we need to play around with different dynamics and what we’re okay and not okay with. nothing has to be set in stone, but if i’m being honest… it was…”

“i liked it when you got all controlling.” you finished jj’s thought. “i really did.” 

“would you want to play around with that more? me being more… in charge sometimes?” 

you nodded. “i’d like that. because i like listening to emmy but…” 

“it’s very easy for you to listen to me, i know.” emily smirked. “and it’s very endearing.”

“is that something you’re okay with?” you looked over to emily. 

“if you’re comfortable with it, then yes.” 

“color system applies to everything we try.” jj stated. “any time, you can tell us to stop and we will. or call yellow and we can talk it out. and it applies to you, too. if there’s anything that we don’t like, we’ll tell you.” 

you nodded. “is there anything else that i’ve done? have i made either of you uncomfortable?” 

emily couldn’t help but clock the nervous look in your eye, seeing the fidgeting start in her peripheral vision. it was sad for her, seeing you like this. she hated when you got sad. you felt certain emotions more than others, and when you did feel them they hit you like a ton of bricks. emily most likely would never know how that truly felt, but she could only imagine the thoughts flowing around in your mind that would make you feel less than. she couldn’t control herself, searching your eyes for any emotion other than guilt. it pained you knowing that you thought you were the reason the conversation was happening. she wanted to grab you by the shoulders and scream at you that it was not your fault and would most likely never be your fault, but she knew that would be counter productive. the three of you were all adults, you could talk about it like adults. 

jj on the other hand, felt horrible. her reaction was the reason you felt as if you were the reason the problem persisted. guilt plagued her as she stared at you, her hand coming up to gently brush back some of the strands that had fallen from your braid. she knew her own insecurities were the reason everything was going the way it was, and the main reason the three of you were sat here in various stages of emotional distress, but it was something she knew taking the blame for would just make you feel worse. she didn’t fully understand how your brain always made you think that you were the problem, but it was something you had been fighting for years. even penelope couldn’t get it through your brain that nothing was ever your fault. and that was saying something, since you and penelope had been friends for ten years leading up to when you joined the bau. both emily and jj knew it would take a while to get past the walls you had put up, but they didn’t realize how tough it would be. but it was a fight they were going to get through together, no matter what it meant. 

“nothing you’ve done could make us uncomfortable, y/n.” jj’s voice softened. “i know this is new, and it’s making you react in ways that you normally wouldn’t react, right?” 

you nodded. “i’m trying to be better, promise. i guess i just want to be taken care of?” you questioned. “but i have a hard time accepting it. like… i just want someone to take care of me like i take care of you. i’m just… i’m getting used to it.”

“is that why you were pushing today?” jj looked at you. “because you wanted to feel taken care of?” 

you sheepishly nodded. “a little bit. i liked it when you told me we were leaving and got all bossy.” 

jj smiled. “i can do that more. do you want to have a certain phrase or word to let me know when you want it?” 

“um… maybe like… a shoulder tap to start? i don’t want to say anything out loud, especially if it happens in front of the team.” 

“how about three taps left shoulder?” you nodded, a small smile forming on your face. “and if there’s anything we do when we’re out that you don’t like?” 

“i’m not sure of that one yet.” you swallowed. “i’m sorry we didn’t have this conversation earlier. we could have avoided this.” 

“lovey, having these conversations is one of the things we need to do to ensure we’re all happy. we can’t necessarily schedule them.”

“i still feel guilty." you sniffled. “i made jj feel bad.”  

“oh baby,” jj pulled you back closer to her as the guilt washed over you again. “i’m not mad at you at all. if anything, i over reacted to that. i promise you i’m not mad. i’m not mad at all.” 

“you promise?”

“i promise.” jj placed a soft kiss to the tip of your nose. “i’m sorry i made you feel like you hurt me.” 

“i’m sorry i didn’t ask you if i could call you mommy and made you upset.” you looked down at your hands, which were fidgeting with your shirt. 

jj lifted your chin up with her finger. “hey hey, none of that now. no more feeling bad.” 

you chuckled. “okay. i’ll try.” 

“how about i draw us a bath?” emily smiled at the two of you. “with the epsom salt for your sore muscles?” 

“that sounds really nice.” you smiled. “can we light the candle i like too?” 

“vanilla swirl or the one that smells like disney?” 

you pursed your lips, thinking. “the one that smells like disney.” 

“i’ll go grab it.” emily placed a kiss to the top of your head. “you feeling better?”

“a little bit.” you nodded. “i’ll be better soon.” 

“good.” she squeezed your hand. “i’ll go get everything and let you know when the bath is ready.” 

emily slipped out of the bed and went to go get your candle, leaving you and jj sitting on the bed together. she placed her forehead against yours, her hand going to cup your cheek as you sat in the silence. 

“i-”

“if you say i’m sorry i’m pushing you off this bed.” 

you chuckled lightly. “i do feel bad.”

“and i’m telling you that you don’t have to. promise. every relationship is going to have it's issues. we’re just able to talk them out because we’re adults.” 

“yeah, you’re right.” you put your head in the crook of jj’s shoulder. “thank you for not being mad.” 

jj smiled. “thank you for listening and not freaking out when i told you i didn’t like it.” 

“i mean i freaked out a little bit.” 

“but not a lot.” jj chuckled. “you’re adorable.” 

“you are too. like, a lot.” 

you snuggled into jj’s arms, curling into her side. it made you feel a lot better knowing that she wasn’t super mad at you like you thought. while you still felt guilty for making her feel bad, it made you feel better knowing that jj didn’t think of you any differently. 

and that she still deeply cared about you. 

taglist: @jayden-prentiss @idkwhatever580 @multifandomlesbianic @softestqueeen

[noxlysium]

Why Jean is so important to me

Welcome to my insane ramblings, enjoy your stay (or don't). Most of this is also very self-indulgent, by the way. Warning: Mentions of abuse, alcoholism, mental illness, self-destructive thoughts I'd also like to remind you that this isn't me justifying Jean's behavior in any way, he's a fucking asshole and doesn't know how to handle Harry, or himself. They're both flawed individuals and that's okay. This is just me talking about my own experiences. Now that we got that out of the way, let's get to the actual thing.

I'm not even sure where to start. When I first found out Jean had clinical depression, I immediately felt a connection. It's relatable. Very relatable, in fact. I myself have been depressed for years. It all started at a young age, I was about 13, but due to trauma it could be very much earlier than that. I don't remember much from my childhood because most of it are bad memories. I'm 21 now and still going through a lot of shit, so it's been about 8 years. Jean strikes me as a guy who has been fucked over his entire life, no matter where he goes or what he does. It always comes back to him. After I have finished DE for the first time and looked more into the lore of Jean and Harry, I started to notice the similarities between the relationship with him and Harry, and the relationship with me and my own parents.

I know what alcohol does to people, I've seen it all. And it's not great for either parties. I'm stuck in a repetitive cycle of wanting to help someone to get better, only to realize that they don't want to get better and then I start building hope again. Rinse and repeat. I know I cannot change them. But I keep hoping for a change anyway, and get upset when it never comes. Of course it doesn't. No matter what I've tried. I have tried so many times. I'm a fucking hypocrite because I sometimes drink as well. I don't want to become like them. I drink for fun every once in a while and try to not over-do it, because every time I touch alcohol, something in the back of my mind tells me I'm becoming like my father. I thought about smoking a few times, but I don't want to destroy myself like my mother does. I'm really fucking scared of smoking and its consequences. Which is funny, because I should be as scared when it comes to alcohol, but I'm not. They both drink every day at 3 pm, after work. Every single day.

And it has been like this for years. Nothing has ever changed. A few months ago I had an actual discussion with my parents. We usually never have these sort of conversations (That's the issue, by the way. A very big lack of communication. Does that ring any bells?) and I was actually surprised when they told me they wanted to lay off the alcohol. I tried to approach the topic carefully and even offered them help (therapy etc.) but.. they also didn't want that. They straight up told me they don't need help. Which is really fucking frustrating because I want them to understand that they do, but they don't care.

I know change is really fucking hard and I've been there, but my parents had so many opportunities to change and never took them. Nothing has changed for so many years and I'm tired of it. I'm waiting for a change to happen but I know it's never coming anyway. I'm tired, mad, disappointed. That's how Jean feels about Harry, he just doesn't know how to help him and is an ass about it. And I'm just letting it happen, because there's nothing else I can do. I'm watching them destroy themselves every day and it fucking hurts. Something in me still feels a tiny flame of hope, when in reality that flame is already extinguished. I want people to understand, my father really fucking reminds me of Harry. The emotional abusive, the physical abuse, the alcoholism, the sexist remarks.. It just screams Harry. Especially given with how he had been around people Pre-Martinaise, which I have read in the game inside the damaged ledger. The fact that I love Harry to a certain degree says a lot of things.

The marriage between my parents is like if Dora never left Harry, and it's fucking awful.

-

That is mostly why I can relate to Jean so much. There's also some smaller things and I'll get to those now.

He fucking sucks at feelings. You can see it with the way he's trying to handle Harry, and it's not working.. Which, yeah. I suck at those too.

He likes to hide his sadness underneath a layer of cynicism and sarcasm as a coping method.. I do this all the fucking time.

Let's face it, this man is a fucking nervous wreck. He picks at his facial hair and displays a lot more habits like that, like him fixing his clothes (even though they look clean, according to one of the skills in the game), running his hand through his hair.. I do this without even realizing it.

He's depressed and fucking empty on the inside. He most likely hasn't felt real love from anyone or for himself in years. He needs therapy (lots of it), anti-depressants and a hug.. And I know what that feels like. I know it too well.

Lastly, he's a fucking mess. Like in every single way imaginable.. Again, very relatable.

Jean is such an amazing character for me to project on, to relate to and to find comfort in. I'm glad they made him fucked up, because that's what I love about him. He has so many flaws and I love every single one of them. He's in the game for like 15 minutes or less, but the impact he's had on me is insane. I've had a fair share of characters I would obsess over, but Jean hits different.

I'm so glad Jean-Heron Vicquemare exists, because I wouldn't know where I would be if I never met him. I want to thank my lovely friend (who is not on here, but I'm still saying it because I care about him a lot) for gifting me this amazing game.

And I want to thank you for reading this mess of a post.

If you have made it this far, I want to show you one last thing.

[hunters-vigil]

The Archon's Baby - Chapter 6 - Sisters

Previous Chapter

request from ao3: Make one where they have a child but the female character doesn't tell Mavuika that she is expecting a child and distances herself from Mavuika please 🙏🙏

Fic under the cut, don't repost my stuff on other platforms, i have ao3. Reader is not the traveller. Reader's adoptive sisters are Chasca and Chuychu.

warnings: warnings: pregnancy, pregnancy symptoms, empty threats about castration, implied trans!Mavuika, arguments, a lot of crying.

Chasca raised an eyebrow, while Chuychu passed you the vitamins you needed to take, reminding you very much of the good sister bad sister routine your sisters would use when you were all younger.

"The mother of my child." You stated, folding your arms as your sisters moved to stand up, "She's long gone, so you can't try cutting any balls off, Chasca."

"You heard me when I said that?" Chasca's face fell at the defensive look on yours, "you know I wouldn't. I was angry about your... condition and upset that you didn't trust me or Chuychu enough to tell us you were in a relationship."

"It wasn't about trust. I trust you both with my life, you're my sisters and I love you. But my relationship... it's complicated. We kept it from everyone until I was ready, and she was okay with that, because the moment people find out, everything changes..." you trailed off, fighting the urge to run your hand over your belly. Lucky for you, you were not showing yet.

"Why would everything change? Only the elders might be bothered that you two aren't married-" Chasca frowned but Chuychu kicked her in the shin to quieten her, watching you carefully as you took your vitamins.

"Chasca... think about it. A pyro user, and everything would change the moment people found out she was courting one of her people, let alone impregnated her."

"Chuychu, did you have to word it like that?" your face burned with enough heat that you could have had a pyro vision.

"Wait, what are you saying- oh, archons..." Chasca paused, looking between Chuychu, then you, as her eyes widened in realisation. "You're with our archon."

"Shush! Please! Please..." you begged, your voice cracking as your sisters figured out everything.

"I need to prepare for the Pilgrimage." Chasca stood up to leave, not looking back as she held back her emotions.

"Chasca!" you held back your sobs, remembering momentarily that you three were in public, but your hormones and emotions threw that out the window, "Chuychu?"

"She just needs to blow off steam. I'm going to check on her so she doesn't take it out on some innocent civillian, or you. You don't need that stress, okay?" Chuychu moved to stand up, leaning in to kiss your forehead, "I'm not mad at you, I can see why you hid this, and I will admit that it hurts but, I love you, little one. I'll come find you once I know our older sister has calmed down, and not tried to castrate the archon..."

Chuychu said the last bit more to herself than to you, following in Chasca's footsteps as you sat at the table with your head in your hands.

"I don't think I've seen you three have a fight like that in years." The sound of heels on the floor approached you, but you couldn't remove your hands from your face, trying to hide your tears but clearly failing.

Xilonen let out a soft sigh, her hand gently rubbing your trembling back, "whatever you three fought over... you'll resolve it between yourselves, you know that, right sweetheart?"

A wet laugh made the ancient name forger's ears twitch, "I doubt it. They're really mad... Chasca's supposed to be a peacekeeper but when it comes to family... our parents are going to be mad too when they find out everything."

"It's that bad that talking to them won't work?" Xilonen frowned, thinking to herself for a moment, "how about I get us some xocoatl and you can gather your thoughts? Or maybe some tatacos?"

"Ugh, archons no, just thinking of shrimp makes me want to vomit!" you held back a gag, much to Xilonen's confusion.

"I thought you loved tatacos, your sisters used to bribe you with them as a kid?"

"Um, it's complicated," feeling your face burn and eyes water at having to try explain, "but I can't eat fish or shrimp anyway now so... just xocoatl please. I can give you some mora-"

"I've got it sweetheart, don't worry about it." Xilonen dismissed you, not seeing how your nose crinkled up at the pet name, reminding you of your parents, who you had yet to tell about Mavuika or your pregnancy. Although, they may have suspected something, with how that family dinner went the day that you found out your results...

Your hands trembled as you cradled the mug of xocoatl between them, avoiding Xilonen's gaze but the woman didn't seem to be so bothered by your lack of talking. In fact, she looked like all she wanted was a nap, especially the level of alertness in her eyes or lack thereof suggesting it.

"Are... you okay?" you whispered, bringing the mug up to your lips to sip on.

"I probably should be asking you that," the smith passed you a serviette for a tissue, "but that would probably make you cry again, so I'd rather not. Me though? I'm alright, just wondering about the potted plant on my porch. It died again, I was watering it every day but, I guess that was too much?"

"Probably. Plants can be temperamental, too much water, too little water, too much sunlight, too little sunlight." You shrugged, not admitting that a saurian that Chasca had been fostering at Ifa's had eaten your plants so you gave up growing any a while back. Instead, your focus was on the life growing inside of you.

"Ugh, I guess gardening requires quite a bit of luck." Xilonen grumbled, folding her arms, leaning back in her chair in thought.

"Be right back..." you mumbled, hurrying off to go to the bathroom, much to Xilonen's momentary confusion.

"Sorry, sorry... I'm back!" you chewed your lip as you returned to your seat, hoping that you wouldn't need to pee again during your conversation, "um, so the Pilgrimage is this week, are you looking forward to it?"

Xilonen let out a yawn, "I can't wait for it to be over and people stop trying to ask me for last minute commissions." The smith's ears perked up as she looked at you properly, "speaking of comissions. How was that weapon I made for you?"

Your eyes widened at the unexpected question, stumbling over your thoughts as you tried to come up with an answer. How could you tell her that your sisters had confiscated it not long after finding out you were pregnant? Chasca had been helping you train with it, and Mavuika had tried, being somewhat successful, but the two of you often ended up too distracted by each other...

"Okay, what happened to it?"

"My sisters took it. They stopped my training sessions after finding out about... my condition." You hesitated before finally telling the ancient name bearer the truth, or well, a vague version of it. Chuychu still wasn't back yet, was she still trying to calm Chasca down?

"Your condition? Right?" Xilonen hummed, not entirely sure what you were taking about, "is it serious? Do you need anything from me?"

"It's too early to commission you to help with a nurs-anything, help with anything, so just, thank you for the offer!" you caught your slip up, but Xilonen did too as her ears twitched, taking a moment to realise.

"Oh, uh, well, you know where to find me when you do, okay, sweetheart? I should get going, I have a meeting with the archon, it's probably about her needing another set of sunglasses forging... again!" Xilonen gently petted your head as she hurried away, leaving you to frown slightly.

"Why does everyone keep petting my head?"

[jeeseth]

more than friends — ryu sarang x f!reader

you’ve grown sick from receiving love notes and having other students continuously asking you out. so you truly needed sarang to help you with these issues. but as time passed, you two began to develop feelings for one another .

tags 💭 — fluff, non-idol au, high school au, best friends to lovers, fake dating, mens dni, grammatical errors !

"sarang please!"

you desperately pleaded sarang while tugging at her arms. apparently, you can’t take it anymore from all the confessions from the other students every second of the day. that’s why you really REALLY need sarang to help you.

"help you with what exactly?" sarang sighs which make you grin widely. you quickly let go of her arms and shake her instead.

"thank you so much! i’ll treat you dinner later" you fake sobbed and hugs sarang. sarang was taken aback by the sudden affection but still gently caressed your back.

"yeah… now tell me already, what am i supposed to do?" sarang asked, you reluctantly pulled away from sarang’s embrace and look at her with a sheepish smile. sarang smiles softly and raises an eyebrow at your grin. she chuckles softly before ruffling your hair affectionately.

"can you pretend to be my girlfriend?" you said bluntly. it was silent for a moment before sarang finally realised what you just said.

"what?! are you serious?" sarang exclaimed, completely taken aback by your bluntness. but soon she immediately calmed down and sighs softly.

she’s not really complaining because you were looking so desperate for this plus, sarang thinks this is good chance to somehow get way closer to you (even though you two are already close). to be honest, now that sarang think about it she quite like the idea of being your fake girlfriend. she can get to know you more and she can definitely hold your hands more often.

"okay fine, so how are we starting this plan of yours—" you immediately shut sarang and link arms with her. basically dragging sarang to the whole school. much to your surprise, some students were already giving you and sarang some space. and also the confused look on their faces make you giggle.

sarang on the other hand is trying her best to keep her expression in check, even though deep down she can feel the butterflies going crazy in her stomach.

throughout this whole ‘fake dating’ session, you and sarang tried your best to actually looks like y’all are dating. and guess what, of course it works! not to mention but, sarang has somewhat changed (?) you’re not sure if you’re tripping or what but you swear on izna upcoming album that she seems like really really into this role.

days, weeks and even months passed by as you two continue this act. you and sarang will always stuck together no matter where you go. like sarang will literally hold your hand everywhere and!!! those little kisses on your head? you couldn’t help but to blush every time sarang did that. she somehow managed to act like she doesn’t care/mind it which, always surprised you.

"are you two still continuing this act?" jeemin asks, snapping you out of your thoughts. sarang smiles and shrugged playfully.

"yeah, some of the students seems like they still won't leave y/n alone. also, it's not that bad actually being y/n's fake girlfriend" sarang chuckles while gently stroking your head that is on her shoulder.

jungeun snickered at the sight she's seeing. no matter how she looks at it, you two really seems like a real couple with all these physical touches. "just date already then."

you chocked on your own saliva as jungeun blurted that out. being in a relationship with sarang doesn't sound so bad... wait what are you thinking.

"we're just friends, nothing more" you mumbled. thankfully you didn't catch the sad and taken aback expression on sarang's face when you said that. it's clear that sarang wouldn't mind this friendship to develop into something more. but if that was your decision, she can't force you.

sarang stayed quiet as you continue talking with jeemin and jungeun. she can't help but to overthink about what you've said earlier. she'd be lying is she said it doesn't hurt her feelings but she try to be the best friend who will still respect your decision no matter what.

as the times passed by, sarang couldn't ignore this feeling that keeps blooming everyday in her chest. she can't keep bottling her feelings any longer. she likes you and that's final.

sarang decided to talk with jungeun. maybe she can help sarang with this feelings she's been having about you.

"jungeun, you don't understand! i love her but... i don't wanna ruin our friendship." sarang groans in frustration as she talk to jungeun about her feelings towards you.

jungeun sighs softly as she watch sarang suffering. jungeun doesn't know what to do either. because earlier, you also talked to jungeun about how you feel towards sarang. now all jungeun thinking about is how to get you two together. she let out a big sigh before holding sarang's shoulder, making her focused.

"just confess."

"easy for you to say! i don't even know how she feels about me and i, i can't afford to lose this precious friendship with her." sarang sighs and pouted as jungeun let go of her shoulders.

"sarang, trust me on this one. she probably feels the same way but is just too scared to confess, just like you." jungeun assured. sarang sighs and listen to jungeun. she feels less stressed now that jungeun had reassured her. sarang nodded and decided to trust jungeun on this one.

it was one random day. you're on your way to go to the toilet when suddenly you bumped into one of your senior. the scary looking one to. you immediately apologize and tried to walk away but a strong grip on your wrist prevent you from doing so.

"apologize properly." he demanded while towering over you. his grip on your wrist is tight but not tight enough to bruise it (hopefully). you flinched slightly at the height difference, he's way taller and definitely bigger than you. also his gaze is frightening.

"i-i'm sorry, please let me go" you stammered nervously trying to break free from his grasp. he scoffed and tightened his grip on your wrist, looking at you with a lustful eyes.

"well, there’s another way to apologise if you’re interested-" his words were cut off when someone (sarang) pulled you away with her. sarang is also scared to fight back so the best option is to run away, with you.

after a few minutes of running, the scary looking senior is finally no longer in sight. you leans against a wall and catch your breath. sarang stands in front of you, enjoying the sight she’s seeing right now. not in a perverted way. without realising it, sarang leans in resting her forehead against yours.

"are you okay? did he hurt you?" sarang whispered softly while gently caressing your cheeks. you shakes your head and leans into sarang’s touch. her touch is heavenly. sarang smiles softly before kissing your forehead affectionately. simple moment like this is what makes you fall with her more and more.

it was a quiet night, and you and sarang were sitting together on a park bench. the stars were shining brightly overhead, casting a soft glow on everything around you. it had been silent for a while, just enjoying each other's company. suddenly, sarang spoke up, her voice soft and hesitant.

"can I tell you something?"

you looked over at her, curious. "of course," you replied, leaning closer to hear her better.

she took a deep breath, her eyes fixed on the night sky. "i have something to confess," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "i…i have feelings for you. real feelings."

you was stunned and speechless for a moment, not sure what to say. you had harbored feelings for her too, but hadn't dared to say anything because you wasn't sure if she felt the same. 

"you… do?" you stumbled out, still trying to process this newfound revelation. without knowing, a small blush already there on your cheeks. sarang turned to look at me, her eyes filled with emotion.

"yes," she said, her voice firmer now. "i do. i’ve had these feelings for a while now, but I was afraid to say anything because i wasn't sure how you felt, and i didn't know if it would ruin our friendship."

you took hold of her hand, squeezing it gently. "it won't ruin our friendship," you assured her. "i actually have feelings for you too."

her lips curved into a wide, relieved smile. "really?" she asked, her voice hopeful. you nodded, feeling a weight lifted off my shoulders.

"yes," you confirmed. "i've been feeling this way for a while now, but i was too scared to say anything, for similar reasons as yours."

you two sat there in silent for a few moments, holding each other’s hands and simply enjoying the moment. then, sarang spoke up again, her voice now filled with affection and love.

"let’s take this fake dating into something else yeah?"