#let me dream. i know it won't happen lol
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solaaresque · 2 years ago
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so many tumblr mutuals falling in love... sigh. when will it be my turn?
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keeps-ache · 2 years ago
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the awokening has passed! woaw
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bowsers-sweaty-asshole · 3 months ago
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#I keep trying to cry it out but I'm so fucking numb#permanently disassociated and I can't control when it stops so sometimes I'm just at work and suddenly I'm back in my body and remember how#awful everything is and is going to be and I have to hold it in so tightly so no one knows I'm unraveling#until I go numb again and then I can't feel anything#I know my brain is just trying to protect me from the trauma but I'm so out of control#I can't control whats happening to me and I'm not in control of myself#everything hurts all the time#my skin hurts#my jaw hurts#my spine hurts#I'm so fucking tired I can't even sleep more than 45 mins at a time without waking up in a blind panic#my nights are just a bunch of micro naps and I'm losing my grip on reality#things I think have happened and I mention them and everyone looks at me weird and I have to laugh it off like “oh lol must have been a#dream“ while I'm sitting there panicking cause I don't remember what's real and what isn't and what hasn't happened#did I mention I'm having to navigate the healthcare market during all this as well as manage and remember all my upcoming appointments?#I know I'm going to have a psychotic break I just don't know when exactly so I can't plan for it#maybe if I'm institutionalized it will be better because I won't have to do everything by myself#someone else can make my appointments and apply for insurance and subsidies and all I have to do is cry about getting this surgery#no more jobs or anything all I gotta do is focus on not dying#at this point I'm hoping it happens soon because having to hold it together for everyone elses sake sucks#I'm surrounded by support but I've never felt so alone#why do I have to be strong for everyone? why can't I let myself cry? why am I not allowed to lament my situation but everyone else is?#all I hear is how hard it is for everyone else to go through seeing me like this#and I'm over here like.. bro uh imagine how I feel maybe?#like you're not the fucking people who will be crippled and on a liquid diet for months with a breathing tube and feeding tube#you're not the one who has to survive 8 hours of surgery and then an 11 day hospital stay#I have nothing. I am so fucking alone.
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midnightbears · 5 months ago
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[SEPARATE] may we have gyomei, rengoku, and uzui's cuddling head canons? (are they a small or big spoon? Are they clingy? Do they snore? Who falls asleep first? Etc)
✿ hold me forever. never let me go when i do!
#STARRING: himejima gyomei. rengoku kyojuro. uzui tengen + wives ft. fem!reader [separately!]
#TAGS: fluff. established relationship
#NOTES: thank you for requesting! this is so so cute, i hope you like it <3
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the stone hashira . . . himejima gyomei!
sleeping in the same bed as this man right here is a heaven-sent gift IMO.
cuddle bug i fear. most of the time, he likes to be the big spoon, mainly because he enjoys holding you close to his chest, where he can hear and feel your heartbeats mingling together. however, he won't be opposed to you wanting him to be the small spoon. he'll probably just chuckle fondly, loving the feeling of your smaller arms trying their absolute best to wrap around his midsection.
i feel like he doesn't move at all during nighttime. he's as still as a corpse sometimes lol. i don't think he snores either, most of the time you'll just accidentally overhear him mutter "namu..." under his breath. however, if he so much as feels your warmth leaving him for a fraction of a second, he's awake and sensing around for you, dragging you back to his chest after you accidentally pushed him away in your sleep.
he always falls asleep after you. it's a small habit he picked up, only allowing himself to fully relax after you are in the land of dreams. he takes these small intervals of time between your sleep and his own to voice small prayers, his broad hands caressing your back and the top of your head lovingly.
if you happen to get out of bed in the middle of the night to get a glass of water or to use the restroom, make sure to hope fervently that gyomei won't wake up. unless he's aware of why you left the bed (eg: sleepy murmur of 'hunnyboo i need to use the toilet I'll be right back'), he'll start imagining the worst possible reasons for your absence.
imagine him feeling around for you. he finds your side of the bed empty and suddenly shoots up from bed, his blank gaze wide with apprehension, cold sweat staining his temples. where are you? he'll call out your name into the night with his entire body rigid and his voice is quavering and he scrambles to pick himself up from the bed and you don't know how much he's desperately hoping that you are okay, that you are okay, that you are okay, that you—
your soft footsteps litter the room again, a steaming cup of tea in your hands. you call out to him, your hand reaching for his, all is well.
the flame hashira . . . rengoku kyojuro!
this man literally does not care for your personal space.
he will cling to you like a koala, legs wrapped around yours and arms holding you close to his chest, nuzzling into the junction where your neck and shoulder meet, a soft "mmhhh..." leaving his lips when your perfume reaches his nostrils.
the problem with kyojuro is that sleeping with him during winter is wonderful because the man is a literal furnace. most of the time, he will sleep shirtless, allowing you to cling to him if you're cold, his rough hands traveling up and down your back soothingly to keep you happy and warm. summer, however, it's a completely different story.
you feel bad for kicking him away when he tries to hug you, but your mood is incorrigible when you are a bit too overwhelmed with the heat, and you don't want to lash out at him more than you already do when he attempts to bring you to his chest or spoon you from behind. you'll literally roll away from him or go sit outside to get fresh air, and he feels so BAAADDDD because omg he just wants to cuddle you and show you affection you're his amazing beautiful wife :(
normally, you both go to sleep around the same time after a few minutes of cuddling, but whenever this man manages to convince you to let him lay on your tatas and scratch his head, he is gone within minutes.
does not mind being big or small spoon, he enjoys both. but if he had to choose, he normally prefers to be the bigger spoon, mainly because he gets a kick out of feeling like he's protecting you and you're just so cuteeeee he loves you soooo mucchhhhh look at you omg.
he snores a bit, but you've gotten so used to it that, at this point, it's just ambient noise for you to fall asleep to lmao. you once caught him scaring himself awake with a particularly loud snore, it caught you so off-guard but it was the funniest shit you've ever seen and now you're waiting for the next time it happens.
even in his sleep, kyo's protective instincts are on full display. he'll pull you closer if you move too far away, his arms tightening around you subconsciously. if you have a nightmare, it’s like he senses it, even in the deepest sleep. you’ve woken up more than once to his sleepy voice whispering reassurances and his fingers gently tracing patterns on your back until you fall back asleep.
overall really sweet, but a pain during summer <3
the sound hashira . . . uzui tengen + wives!
now, tengen is the god of cuddling, and he's got plenty of practice with his four beautiful wives. he makes sure everyone gets their fair share of his affection, rotating between snuggling with each one of you throughout the night.
you guys could go to sleep in an established order but that completely changes overnight. one minute he’s spooning makio, his arm draped over her waist, the next he’s got you nestled against his chest, suma snuggled up behind you, and hina’s head resting on his shoulder. sometimes he wakes up alone on the other side of the bed and sees you all snuggling together and goes >:(
similarly, it's not unusual for the whole group to end up in a tangled pile of limbs by morning. tengen's long arms and legs make it easy for him to reach everyone, pulling you all into one big, cozy embrace <3
much like rengoku, he's an absolute furnace, which is a blessing and a curse, depending on the season. in winter, you and his wives love curling up against him to steal his warmth, but in summer, you often find yourselves pushing him away, only to be pulled back in when he sleepily grumbles about missing your touch.
tengen’s snoring is legendary. most of the time, it's tolerable, but some nights, you've nudged awake one of your co-wives because you don't want to sleep alone just so you can go to one of the separate rooms and cuddle there instead and the poor man is sooo hurt by it during the morninggg poor guy poor guy awe
believe it or not, tengen is the last to go to sleep but not for the reason you think. his skincare routine is longer than yours and your co-wives combined lmaooo, so while he keeps putting shit in his face and hair, you and the girls start to arrange the bedding however you like and get comfortable.
suma always needs to be close to someone, so she normally snuggles up to you first, whereas hinatsuru doesn't like to be in the middle of the pile so she'll mostly cuddle whoever remains in the outer circle. makio, while she may never admit it, loves being swaddled, so she nestles between you and hina.
he enters the room to find you all sleeping without him, but he smiles softly and simply joins you, pulling all four of you close <3
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© midnightbears on tumblr, july 2024. please do not repost to another platform, plagiarize, translate, use for AI-related purposes or claim as your own.
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reshinless · 3 months ago
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Been seeing alot of spiderman Kinich content on the clock app and this gave me an idea
Reader gets gwen stacy'd and kinich fails to save them lol then he wakes up and then they bang
──── through the phone mask
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⠀ ۪ ⠀✧ synopsis. before he goes, how about a peck, yeah through his mask!
⠀ ۪ ⠀✧ pairings. spiderman!kinich x gn!afab!reader (this will end up in smut, so !!NSFW CONTENT AHEAD!!) angst + comfort (in a way?? death mention but no actual death happens! just a bad dream)
⠀ ۪ ⠀✧ director's notice. oooo i could not stop thinking about this during class!!
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"mwa!" you cheer- briefly backing away as you admire you boyfriend, kinich, that puts his mask on. you pray that this spiderman stuff didn't pressure him at all.
"mmm... one more?" as he turned around to face you again. you chuckled as you tilted your head, stepping closer to the window sill he crouched on. "one more? i think you've had enough for today." a teasing tone present in you sonorously.
he gave you a pleading look in hopes to earn accolade (in which this case is a kiss. or two. or three.) you could giggle, feeling the way he still tried to kiss you through the mask he wore, concealing his identity to all, except you of course.
"mmmwa!" you brush your lips against the fabric that kept all of this a secret. you were so pretty when you smiled. he likes that little dimple that appears on your cheek when you grinned- or maybe the mole on your neck right there. mmmaybe he should count them soon.
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but when there's a moment where kinich saves everyone but you, he'd never forgive himself. when there's a moment where kinich can catch everyone when they're falling but you. when there are gonna be moments that only star him, and missing you. like how a seed would long for a soil bed, or how the moonlight doesn't shine without its sun.
he was terrified of losing someone as precious as you were. for as long as you both lived, he wanted to spend as much time with you. his love language was all about spending time with you, and doing things for you, he knew you could handle yourself, but he loves knowing you rely on him for a few things (even if they're simple). so losing you would be losing a huge part of himself.
in all the years you both got to spend together, you spent it along side your best wingwoman; mualani. growing up by both of your sides, he never felt alone, or unneeded. he felt everything was finally coming together.
so when he saw the scene before him- it was you. being stabbed in the stomach by a spike below the now-broken bridge. even in death you were so pretty. your head was laid down on his lap, barely opening your eyes, just enough to let a few tears trickle down the softness of your cheeks.
"i'm.. sorry i couldn't do enough for you." were the words you whispered, holding his cheek before finally passing on to the next world.
no he couldn't handle the scene at all. and only now is when he realizes- he should spend more time. he'll make sure you won't feel like that when he meets you again. he knows he'll recognize you. he'd know you from anywhere, anytime, any appearance, anywho.
kinich wakes up in tears, clear tear stains on the place he rest his face into. your pjs have small marks, drops of tears where they'd landed off his face. your eyes flutter open a few seconds later, realizing he's no longer in your arms.
"kin? wh.. what's wrong? why are you crying?" you immediately got up to wipe the small sobs off his cheeks. "..you're still here.. thank god, you're still here." he suddenly hugs you, fitting his head into your nape. his hold was tight, and affectionate. enough to know that he's happy that you're still present.
"yeah, i'd never leave. was.. was it a dream?" you asked, massaging his scalp to soothe his stress. he could only hum in response, he felt a little pathetic to admit that he was, but it was the first step to accepting it.
"do.. you ever feel like i'm mistreating you?" his head popped up from the spot it was previously. "what? no you're not. in fact, i feel like i'm not doing enough for you, baby." you chuckle, shifting your head to front him a little better.
"you've done more than you think for me." his hand held a soft grasp on your palm, you could feel a few scars on his hand. "really? i find it hard to believe." you let out a giggle, certainly a superhero who does things to make sure the city is a safe place for all, feels like you do more? that was in your point of view anyway.
"may.. i show you how much i can repay you then? i want to show you.. i want you to feel how thankful i am that you're here."
whatever it was in that dream of his definitely helped yours come true. "mmm, someone's ahhn- enjoying, ngh themselves.." he grunted out, hitting you from behind so good, you can't do anything but sit there and take it.
you could feel every little ridge on his dick, the sweat emitting from your body, combined with the drops spouting from the pores of his palms. damn you couldn't even hold your own moans back in courtesy for the people in the next dorm. "mmmffffuckkk.. s'good kin.." you whined, you shut your eyes in ectasy
he throws his head back, groaning at the sight of your plush ass barely swallowing his shaft each time. every shlick only made you even wetter. you could feel his length twitching inside you, each time he hit your very core.
your folds felt so insanely good, wrapping around the base of his dick so well, even inside you it felt so warm. the way you were basically getting stretched out, it reached even further into you, in his observation seeing how your eyebrows knitted- he assumed you liked it like that, kissing your insides!
he slowed the pace of his sloppy thrusts briefly to reach over for the phone on the nightstand. "you mind if we take a photo, pretty? love the way you look right now, 'd hate to miss such a face."
he'd be too busy admiring your face to realize how long he'd been grinding against your precious spot. he knew exactly how to make you use the expressions he wanted.
kissing your neck hungrily, making sure you face the camera as it recorded, letting it see all of you.
watching how your body reacted to his so well, he couldn't help but coo into your ear about how good you were doing.
"such a pretty kitty, mmm? and they're all mine aren't they? he continued, on the edge of the bed- making sure you see yourself in the mirror in front of you.
"this is what i admire everyday. hnnn.. s'tight, fffuck.." he groaned into you, letting you sit on his dick, riding it while watching his reaction through the mirror.
you couldn't help but piston your hips repeatedly, you were already so wet, might as well put it to use!
he held your hand throughout everything, squeezing it every now and then to indirectly ask if you're doing okay. kissing down from your nape to your shoulder blades, you were perfect from the ground till your ears.
for what seemed like the umpteenth time, he cums inside you. warm seed shoots up into your body, creaming on his cock at the same time.
kinich who holds you by the waist, feeling his cock slowly soften inside you. still trying to catch his breath- but still makes an effort to kiss your cheek.
still makes an effort to carry your trembling body to the bathroom. still makes an effort to clean you up. still makes an effort to eat you out slowly afterwards.
he who already misses you while you were still in the room. he couldn't help but cuddle with you for a bit before going out again. it was sunday already anyway, and he spent the moments where the sun rose elsewhere (eating you out/giving bj)
kinich who loved the idea of making out with you right after, still having to go out since you both spent the whole night.. intimately. half of his mask is still on but all you do is lift it up a little, enough for his lips to be visible enough for you to peck.
he makes sure you're sound asleep before he goes, he'll be back before you know it anyway.
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ramp-it-up · 3 months ago
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Knock You Down
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Summary: James Bucky Barnes is an avowed bachelor and one night stand artist. But when he meets you, he finds out that sometimes love comes around, and it knocks you down.
Word count: less than 2K
Pairing: Art Dealer (mob boss) Bucky Barnes x Reader
A/N: This fic was in part inspired by Seb Stan's latest pics and this press run 🫠, and partially inspired by an old song by some problematic people, lol. This is the result. As usual, I am Basil Exposition, so this is broken into parts. Part II is already in the queue and will be posted on Friday, 10/11.
Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. Read at your own risk. Slow burn, cursing, mutual pining, Bucky the player, wild thoughts, kisses on the hand and the cheek. No sex!
I no longer have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘
I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.
-----
"Won't see it coming when it happens. But when it happens you're gonna feel it, let me tell you now."
Bucky always scoffed at Steve’s advice. He and Sam never understood his solitary bachelorhood and his one night stand lifestyle.
The truth was, he hadn’t met anyone who held his interest enough to warrant a second date, much less anything beyond one casual hookup. So, he never made promises that he couldn’t keep, and most women said they were down for that. 
Even if they were lying to themselves.
At 42, James Buchanan Barnes was too dedicated to his business, ostensibly as an art dealer, for a serious relationship. The truth was that he dealt in many things, and that was why his business needed so much attention. 
His life and everyone’s around him depended on it. 
Bucky Barnes wasn’t going to get caught slipping.
In love or in business.
—---
The first time you met James Buchanan Barnes, on what you thought would be a random Monday afternoon, he appraised you in a way that shook you to the core, those ocean blue eyes looking into your soul. You felt as if he were evaluating a piece of art as he gazed at you across his desk. 
You couldn’t know that he felt the exact same way. 
His eyes never strayed from your face as he shook your hand, but he’d noticed every bit of you as you entered his gallery, Rebirth. You were more stunning than any piece of art that he’d ever curated in the space.
While nothing like his normal type, you made Bucky feel as if he’d been so wrong about so much in his life the moment you entered his orbit. He had to get to know you to find what he’d been missing.
This afternoon you were a sight to behold and serving body. Although you were covered from neck to shin in an elegant sheath dress, the high, wrapped waist was giving all of your bounteous curves up to whoever glanced at you. And you had heads turning.
Steve, Sam, and even Natasha craned their necks to watch you as you entered Bucky’s office. And he could have sworn that Nat’s neck was at a 90 degree angle as she watched you leave her desk just outside his door.
You were fine as hell.
Bucky was entranced by dreams of handling your curves and making you smile at him forever.
As Bucky dreamed, you admired the man in front of you. Tall, dark, and handsome, Barnes wasn’t a young man, but the gray in his beard and the crinkles around his eyes made him that much more attractive. 
Even more attractive than in the paparazzi pics of him with various young models and actresses of the moment, waifs and ingénues with whom he was never photographed twice.
You just knew you were safe from any advances from him.
You thought.
“Enchanté, Ms. Y/LN. It is a pleasure to meet you."
Bucky lowered his head as he greeted you, a slight bow and extended his hand to his desk. You noticed the tattoo that started on his hand and seemed to go up his sleeve and went in the direction he pointed.
"You know, you are quite tenacious. I don’t take many meetings with potential buyers. But all of my people told me that I should.”
The silk of his voice, the unexpected tenor of it, and the way he took your hand made you shiver at the aura of experience that he gave off.
The word Daddy floated around in your mind for a moment until he invited you to sit.
You had to concentrate on the business at hand, that of negotiating for a piece of art for the Art and Culture Center in Brownsville, of which you were the director. The purchase was made possible by benefactors to commemorate a deceased Brownsville artist who became famous, then forgotten, during the Harlem Renaissance.
“You’ve made it past Ms. Romanoff, my gallerist, Mr. Wilson, my business manager, and Mr. Rogers, my gallery director, Ms. Y/LN. What makes you think that I’m going to give you a different answer? Letting that piece go for the price you’ve proposed is not a good business move.”
“You can’t afford to miss out on this opportunity, Mr. Barnes. Yes, you will be taking a loss on the artwork, but you will be on the ground floor of a major rediscovery. You will be known as one of the few who helped to resurrect the brilliance of the artist Howard Benson. You can be the Alice Walker to his Zora Neale Hurston.”
And that is when Bucky leaned back in his chair, astounded at your shrewd calculation.
“I love the way your mind works, Ms. Y/LN.”
You smiled and settled back into your chair, causing Bucky to shift in his chair. He wanted to be buried in you. He appraised and decided that he liked the pout that changed your lips almost as much as the smile that initially greeted him when he replied, “But that price is still unacceptable.”
You raised an adorable eyebrow at him and rose to the challenge that he lay at your feet ready to tangle with the inimitable James Barnes. The conversation stretched from early afternoon to dinner time, making you suspect that Barnes was drawing it out for some reason. You matched him, point for point, until it was dark. But he yielded no ground.
The conversation was intellectual foreplay: art history, sociology, american politics. And it was the most stimulated you’d been in a while. 
You could do this all night.
Your phone buzzed and you looked down. There were several text messages and emails lighting up your screen. You’d been in deep with Barnes for hours. It was after 6 pm. It seemed like only minutes. You noticed that it was only you and Bucky left in the gallery and rose to excuse yourself, albeit reluctantly.
“Oh! I’m sorry to keep you so long. I’m sure that you must have plans.”
You’d done your research and you knew that there was probably someone little more than half Barnes’ age waiting for him. When you searched social media, there was a sighting or spotted every month or so of Bucky and a young, beautiful woman.
You reached for your coat, but Bucky was behind you in seconds, taking it from you and helping you put it on. You shivered at his breath at your throat and his hands on your collarbone as he draped the lapels over your neck. His deep chuckle made your stomach flip. He saw right through you.
“No one is waiting for me but my cat, Alpine. How about you, Ms. YLN? Anyone waiting for you in Brownsville?”
“Not tonight. No.”
Why in the world were you doing the sultry whisper thing? This man didn’t want you. 
Did he?
You cleared your throat and you felt dizzy when you looked up and saw how close he was standing to you. Those eyes and the smile that graced his handsome face had you warm, but the way he licked his lips had you spiraling.
Bucky pushed down a mild sense of panic that someone might be expecting you some other night, but that was irrational. Competition never ever entered his mind when he talked to other women. 
What was happening here?
“Well I would consider myself extremely fortunate and would be honored if we could continue this conversation over dinner.”
—-
The way James Barnes turned your meeting into a dinner date had your head spinning, but the wonderful conversation and easy, light hearted banter eased your mind. As soon as the first course was served at your table at dinner at Bohemian, he agreed to your initial price.
From there, once the terms were settled, the conversation turned to more personal questions, each of you sharing the stories of your life in your town, his childhood in Romania, your childhood in Brooklyn, and lots of funny stories.
At one point early in the night, Bucky stopped you from calling him Mr. Barnes.
“Please. Call me James. Or you could call me Bucky. My Friends call me Bucky. For my middle name, Buchanan. Bucky is short for Buchanan.”
Bucky found himself rambling. He had not been this nervous in a while.
You looked at him quizzically. At that moment, he would give you anything you were about to ask of him.
“Do you have a lot of friends? I mean, do a lot of people call you Bucky?“
Godamn, the husk in your voice, those lips, those eyes. Everything about you was about to set him on fire.
“I have a few who are in my close circle. Natasha, Steve, Sam. They and a very few others call me Bucky. Most people I speak with call me Mr. Barnes...”
You nodded slowly, licking your lips, making Bucky feel it in his cock.
“Then I will call you James.”
He got your subtle meaning. You wanted to be different. 
And you were. So very different.
After almost five hours of the best conversation and laughter, he proposed another time for you two to meet before the week was up, on Friday. He had made it clear at dinner that now that business was concluded that he wanted to spend time with you.
Friday night would be a date, the second one at his insistence.
You debated that fact as his driver took you home, even up until he walked you to the door of your brownstone.
He leaned against your doorframe and checked you out as you retrieved your keys from your purse. When you turned and caught him looking, you gasped, causing him to straighten up and move toward you, eyes dilated.
“It will be our second date,” you conceded.
Bucky’s mouth curled into a smirk as he grabbed your hand and lifted it to his mouth. Your soul burned as he pressed his lips to your palm. It was like the hint of a drug in your veins and you wanted so much more.
“What made you change your mind?”
That voice. Did you have a voice kink? Good lord.
You flushed, both at the images that were racing through your mind, and at the arbitrary three date rule you’d made up a while ago. Why was that again?
You cleared your throat.
“Because of the way you are looking at me, James. And the fact that you just kissed me.”
“Is this a kiss?”
“Ummhmmmm.”
You hummed as Bucky raised his eyebrow and your hand again. This time, he brushed his lips against your wrist and inhaled the perfume lingering there. You were about to melt.
Bucky didn’t even know what he was doing. The next step in his mind was to open his mouth and consume you, but he opened his eyes and spied you looking at him in that way, and he knew he had to stop. He didn’t want this to be like all of his other conquests.
He straightened up, but didn’t let go of your hand, entangling your fingers together. 
“You are correct, Y/N. In my mind, this is a date. I am interested in you, for more than just your taste in art. I hope that this is the first date of many.”
You were bowled over at his straightforwardness. It was not what you were used to. This was a man, not a boy in mens clothing.
“I appreciate your honesty, James.”
You went on tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek, your lips lingering on the black and grey stubble so close to his lips. You turned around, giving him a view of your backside as you opened your door.
“And your ambition.”
You gave him that smile again with a wink, and your “Goodnight, James,” floated up to him on cloud nine.
——-
Let me know if you liked it!
Part II here.
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literaila · 6 months ago
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I seriously love the relationship between Megumi and reader. He is in fact, a mama's boy lol
But Dadgojo and Megumi moments are cute as hell too
So herw you go a small oneshot: Little Megs would always go to reader's or Tsumiki's bedroom when he has nightmares. He already trusts you enough to see him vulnerable and goes to seek for your protection, and of course you never complain and comfort him.
But this time is different. He had a nightmare and you were on a mission and Tsumiki is staying at a friend's house.
There is only one person left in the house: Gojo.
So, with the greatest shame and irritation in the world at having to depend on his annoying and childish dad, he goes to Gojo's room because at moments like these he can't stand being alone. So he eats his shame and goes to seek for him.
You can imagine reader's surprise when she comes back home in the morning and finds Satoru and your son cuddling together on the bed, Megumi's hold on Gojo's shirt tight as both sleep peacefully.
You swear you are not like Satoru, but you can't help it but to pick up the phone and take thousands of pictures of this rare moment, knowing it wont happen again (because Megumi won't do it twice after Satoru didn't stop mocking him about it.)
honestly you might as well just write the series for me. like do you wanna look in my inbox? you can write all of the one shots currently rotting away (i’m not asking im pleading)
this is so correct though.
megumi’s just not used to not having you home. when this arrangement first began you took some time off, let satoru handle everything (as per usual) so you could take care of the kids. adapt.
when you resume your former busy schedule, both of the kids are slightly thrown off. and satoru too—because he misses you. he’s known the caress of your absence and isn’t fond of the feeling.
and now it’s megumi’s turn.
but the boy doesn’t start having serious nightmares till around seven or eight (despite the…lack of an upbringing, the rotting apartment and cuddling with tsumiki in bed so neither of them froze in their sleep).
when it happens the first time, he sits there, waiting for some answer to come. he’s a quiet, stoic kid—and he doesn’t get scared. he’s not like his soft, kind sister. he doesn’t even flinch when others would jump.
he lays there until he falls asleep again. and he won’t mention it. megumi doesn’t need to worry you or satoru (mostly you) with this.
then it happens a second time.
this time he’s woken up on the verge of tears—already passed that breaking point—and he can’t stay in bed. he can’t lay there and recall images of monsters no child should understand.
so he gets out of bed—but just for a glass of water. he’s still not scared.
though it just so happens that you’re already in the kitchen when he gets there, and it just so happens that you know things about him—just because you know—so there’s nothing he can do to hide any of it.
still, you’ll only tilt your head at him, giving him a half-sleepy smile. “hey, megs. you okay?”
“i’m thirsty.”
so you get him his glass of water and you watch while he takes tentative sips.
again, somehow you just know. the same way that megumi knows that you know.
“are you having a hard time sleeping?” you ask him, after a minute of silence.
megumi shakes his head on instinct.
you’re still smiling. “bad dreams?”
and he could lie—he’s so very used to lying about things like this. megumi doesn’t want people to see him as this little boy who needs their help. he wants an equal playing field, and he doesn’t want to be scared.
but he is.
and when it comes to you, and only you, megumi is a terrible liar.
so he nods, and your smile remains—sure as always.
“i get ‘em too,” you whisper to him. “even when i was a kid. especially then.”
“you do?”
“yup. all the time.”
“what…” megumi furrows his brows. “what do you do?”
“hmm…” you go and stand beside him at the counter, leaning your chin on a hand. “well, it depends on the dream. sometimes they’re… smaller. and i can usually sleep through those ones, but i always remember them in the morning.”
megumi nods; he has all sorts of dreams.
dreams of running around with tsumiki, of going on missions with gojo. he dreams of you in the kitchen, you telling him to keep going. and he dreams of the dark. of a house that could never be a home.
he dreams of being all alone, and when he wakes up, it feels so real that he can’t help it.
he begins to believe that it’s true.
“when i have bigger ones, though, that i can’t sleep though… well, usually i just wake satoru up.”
megumi frowns. “why?”
“he’s so irritating that i forget all about the dream.”
“oh. yeah.”
you laugh. “or i just ask him for a hug. he always says yes. or i wake him up and we steal a car and drive around for a bit,” you add, almost absentmindedly.
megumi blinks, about to interrupt, but you continue.
“sometimes i just lay in bed until i fall back asleep. or i get up and do something else—get some water,” you give him a pointed look, “so that it feels less real.”
“does it work?”
“most of the time,” you answer, so softly. and you’re right there next to him, still smiling. “wanna watch a movie or something? i’ll let you pick.”
megumi frowns. you don’t like to let them stay up late (despite satoru’s many attempts to go out for gas station ice cream at three in the morning). “really?”
“sure.”
and you sit with him on the couch, not cuddling, but close enough.
megumi listens to you laugh at the random movie he put on—something tsumiki likes—and it feels a little bit better. he feels a little less alone.
and later on, just when he’s falling back to sleep, almost slumping on you, you’ll whisper to him: “the thing about nightmares, megumi,” your hand is in his hair and your voice is almost a lullaby. “is that you can always wake up.”
so megumi gets in the habit of looking for you when he’s had a nightmare—the bad ones, like you mentioned. he doesn’t ask you for a hug, or ask you to sit with him, but you do anyway.
and somehow the two of you will end up on the couch, or in his bed, so close together that megumi can’t have another bad dream (because he’s suffocating).
but on this night—the one night where you’re not home—megumi isn’t sure what to do.
because he doesn’t want to be alone. he doesn’t want to feel trapped in his room, and there’s no way he’s falling back asleep now, and why did he forget that you weren’t going to be home tonight, and—
“psst,” a voice says, a little bit amused. “why are you awake, kid?”
almost immediately megumi straightens. his arms cross like it’s a habit. and when he looks to gojo, he’s already expecting the grin. “why are you?”
“i was calling y/n. or she was calling me. it’s hard to be away from me, you know,” gojo is sprawled out on the couch, taking megumi’s spot.
“it can’t be that hard.”
gojo shakes his head, pouting. “are you awake because the guilt from all of the cruel things you say is keeping you up?”
megumi rolls his eyes. says a curt: “no,” and then pauses.
if you’re not here then what…
“what else could it be?”
“nothing,” megumi answers, immediately defensive.
gojo purses his lips, considering megumi. “why do you look weird?”
“why do you?”
“is that the only insult you’ve got?”
and finally, the boy gives in. he steps over to the couch, sitting down next to gojo (ten feet away) with his arms still crossed. “it’s late.”
“that’s no excuse, young fushiguro.”
they both sit there for a moment, staring off.
then gojo speaks up: “you know y/n would kill you if she knew you were awake, right?”
“no. she would kill you.”
“that’s…” gojo huffs. “true.”
at this, megumi lets out a grunt—it could be a laugh, could be a cough.
he doesn’t want to tell gojo about the dreams, he decides. because he doesn’t want to be ridiculed, and he doesn’t want gojo to tell you and then—
he’s not even scared. you’re gone, tsumiki is sleeping, and gojo is… staring at him.
“are you going to answer my question?”
megumi merely grunts again.
“c’mon, don’t make this awkward.”
“can’t. you already have.”
gojo scoffs, leaning back again, crossing his arms in a poor mimic. “we’ve been letting nanami watch you too much,” he says, but continues. “fine. don’t tell me. i can call y/n back right now and you can talk to—“
“no,” megumi looks over to him, wide eyes.
“then speak, kid.”
he sighs, annoyed. at least you’re right about one thing. it takes a moment, but megumi relents because he has to. “i had a bad dream.”
gojo’s face goes slack. “oh.”
megumi feels like crawling into himself, for just a moment, and then: “do you want to talk about it?”
blue eyes meet blue, and megumi frowns. “what?”
“do you want to talk about it?” gojo repeats, but… weirdly, this time. awkwardly.
“um..” is all the boy says, feeling like he should move away. like to his room away. like he should probably find someone else to live with, a random stranger, even, because that would be easier.
“i don’t know, okay?” gojo blurts out, like it was killing him not to. “that’s just what y/n asks me when i have a nightmare.”
“you have nightmares?”
gojo is running his hands through his hair, looking like he’s about to go on a tangent. but when megumi asks his question, gojo pauses. he gives megumi a look. “doesn’t everyone?”
megumi scowls. “i don’t know.”
“huh. well, i have them. sometimes.”
“and you tell y/n?”
gojo snorts, shaking his head. “there’s no telling y/n anything. she just—“
“knows.”
gojo nods, giving megumi a small wink that makes the little boy want to throw up.
“so…” gojo taps his fingers on the couch. “do you want to talk about it?”
“why would i want to talk about it with you?”
“well you came out into the living room looking all… surly.”
“surly?” megumi repeats, with a face.
“down. upset. sad.”
“i’m not sad.”
“people who aren’t sad don’t need to deny that they’re sad.”
“y/n isn’t here,” megumi says, shaking his head. “i could hit you and be fine.”
gojo laughs, again, relaxing once more. because the man cannot be serious for any longer than three minutes. it’s biologically impossible. “i’d like to see you try,” he whispers, and it’s just enough.
megumi falls asleep on the couch that night. he spends another half hour arguing with gojo about whatever he says—forgetting about his dream, the reason for coming into the living room in the first place.
and when you get home, you open the door to the sight of two boys, both drooling.
megumi has his head pressed against satoru’s shoulder, hair smushed against his face. satoru is crossing his arms, face tilted towards the ceiling as he snores.
…it’s pretty obvious what happens next.
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leannswritings · 1 month ago
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Our Designer - Part 1
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Summary - Crushing on your friend and co-worker is one thing...having wet dreams is another, now it's time to decide if you should confess or let it go.
Warnings ! - slight smut, straight yapping
Word count - 1.2k
A/N: hey....hey...pretend I didn't disappear for a year. I was another victim of the fanfic writer lore, I sadly disappeared due to health...lol. BUT I'M BACK. I'm currently obsessed with Arcane and Viktor. This chapter is just straight yapping tbh...but trust there will eventually be smut. I apologize if this isn't good I haven't wrote in a long time so...warnings. ANYWAYS ENJOY ♡
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A once quiet and cold room, usually being filled with sounds of chalk against the board or short conversations every blue moon was now a room being filled with lewd and unrecognized noises.
You found yourself bent over a paper covered desk, you face pressed against those papers. You couldn't help but think about what would happen if someone walked into you bent over a table,with your friend—let alone a co-worker behind you.
"Vik-viktor.." You gasped out before your words went back to being untranslatable.
There was no reply, instead the grip on your wrist that was behind you tightened. The pleasure continued for minutes on end, until you started to hear talking and foot-steps. You didn't know how to react to the fact you could get caught in this compromised position, or you didn't know if you would even react seeing how you didn't even try to move a muscle.
The door finally opened, filling the room with a bright light.
——————
You jumped up in a sweat, looking around just to realize you were in the lab, your face was on the desk, and someone was walking into the lab. You turned around to see Jayce and Viktor walking in, still dumbfounded and in a daze.
"Good morning, did you pick up Viktor's habit of spending the night at the lab?"
Jayce said jokingly as he walked towards you. Though you couldn't quickly answer due to the fact you just had a wet dream about your friend, in the very lab you're in right now.
"Oh..yeah"
You said when Jayce finally laid his hand on your shoulder, snapping you back into the current reality.
"I was just trying to look into future designs for the hexgates...though I didn't expect to spend the night here."
It has only been a couple of weeks since the first hexgate has started being built, yet you feel it could be better, or maybe could be designed differently for different regions in the future.
" I'm not sure if I like the current design of the hexgate..I feel like I messed something up but I'm not sure what it is.."
You continued to talk about the hexgates, not noticing Viktor had walked over to look at your notes and drawings.
"Other than the eh..slob on the paper everything looks good. I don't believe there's a problem with current designs,but reinforcements won't hurt."
Man. Viktor looked so good leaned up against his cane, looking down at the paper he held in his hand, with the morning sun hitting his skin. You couldn't even respond, zoning out, just to stare at the beauty in front of you, tuning out the communication between Jayce,Him, and you who wouldn't react to the conversation. Your heartbeat fastened and the temperature of your face continued to rise as you stared at the beauty in front of you, slightly jealous.
"Correct?"
Viktor said to you, of course you didn't reply despite the hard stare going on, he sighed and waved in front of your face a few times. At this point he noticed what was going on, seeing how when you snapped back in you cleared your throat and stuttered before speaking.
"What? Oh..yeah"
You answer without even knowing the context. Everyone was staring at you in silence so you realized you maybe have been zoned out for too long, which was embarrassing. "I mean how could one dream mess me up this bad" was a repeated sentence in your mind, before you blurted out.
"Or maybe not."
Jayce's look changed into a slightly worried one. Exchanging that stupid concerned friend look with Viktor.
"Are you alright? You're acting a little strange. Maybe you overworked yourself...do you need to go home for the day.."
Jayce asked you yet again, placing his hand on your shoulder as if that was his way of confirming he wants you to go home yet softening the blow. Viktor also seemed to pick up your papers, organizing your mess so even if you made the excuse of you needing to organize at least before leaving Viktor would already be working on it.
"No..I'm fine, plus there's plenty of work to do, we are still in the early days of testing and designing, there's plenty of things that need to be figured out and talked ab—"
"Go home."
Viktor interpreted your explanation of why you should stay, looking very serious. It looked to them that you had overworked yourself causing you to zone out,oddly sweat, and look out of it. Jayce grabbed your bag before putting it in your arms and forcing you to stand up and walk towards the door.
"Just come back in a couple of hours if you really think you need to be here. Just get some rest...you look horrible."
He said with a smile before closing the door in your face. All you could do is stand there in shock for a little while.
"What a little smart-ass.."
You held onto your bag as you walked down the hall, thinking about what Jayce had just said, you've known Jayce since he moved to Piltover as a kid, and he's always had something smart to say yet always showed his worry for you, especially knowing you struggled with many things in the past. His smart remarks always gave you comfort, especially now giving you time to stray away from the thoughts of work to Viktor overflowing your mind.
————
You tossed your bag by your desk and fell back onto your bed, staring at the ceiling. Being alone finally gave you time to think about Viktor, it was not a secret you had feelings for Viktor, he was exactly your type. Attractive,Introverted, and Intelligent. "A.I.I" is the code name you and your friends would use for him, they wholeheartedly believe he liked you back but you would always deny or say you both were "too busy to date" because of the recent launch. They would always mention him when they got the chance to see what updates they could get out of you, of course there was nothing ever new except for something small that you went on about that your friends would feed into, except for Caitlyn. She would always just tell you to admit your feelings instead of just giggling over such small things, funny coming from her, someone you knew could never express their feelings even from a young age. Jayce on the other hand..someone you couldn't tell about this, knowing him he would've already told Viktor or threw smart remarks towards you about the topic. Though you didn't tell him you were sure he knew anyways.
Now staring at your ceiling you wonder if you should just listen to her, and maybe that would chase these oddly good dreams away. The idea started to sound good until you started thinking about your work schedules and the workaholic he was. You also didn't want to take his mind off the more important matters at hand.
These thoughts and questions continued until you fell asleep, the sounds of your overthinking turned into silence, your mind finally calming.
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ghostofhyuck · 7 months ago
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NCT Dream when you drunk-kissed them in front of Dreamies. 
Mark Lee
Will be frozen when you wrapped your arms around him and kissed him on the lips in front of his members! The other members will be surprised too, causing an awkward atmosphere. Mark would probably try to let out a small chuckle to break the tension, eventually placing an arm around you as he looks at his members apologetically, "Sorry, she's too drunk." would also try to calm you down if you're moving too much around the table. Lets you rest your head on his shoulder if you're sleepy.
Huang Renjun
Oh he's ears red and blushing hard right now when you peppered him with kisses in front of Dreamies. It's a good thing that no one really cares about your PDA but Renjun was still shy about the fact that his members are around you two. He'll probably lets you sit beside him, wraps his arms around your waist and gives you a small kiss on the temple as a reply so that you won't sulk. He brushes it off because it wasn't that erotic and understands that you did it because you were too drunk!
Lee Jeno
Jeno would have his signature eye smile as you cup his cheeks but he'll be eyes wide when you proceed to attack his kiss. The kiss was probably ten seconds long and will be longer if it wasn't for Jeno breaking the kiss first. The music of the bar was deafening but the silent stare from his members made him conscious about the sudden public display of affection, "We get it Jeno, you have a gf and we don't have," Haechan probably. Jeno will probably laugh it off and drags you out as an excuse to sober you up!
Lee Donghyuck
I am so sorry for the Dreamies because once you kissed Haechan, even if it was an innocent kiss on the cheeks because you were so drunk, trust me that Haechan will do every means to reciprocate the kiss! Cheeks? of course, lips? even better! That man has no self-control when it comes to you so best believe that he'll be so shameless that he doesn't care about his members at all. They'll all be gagging at the sight, thinking that "damn, no wonder they match each other." 
Na Jaemin
Jaemin is somewhat a flirt, so when you showered him with kiss, he'll like it! He'll ignore the way he was given a side-eye by his members because you kissed him in the lips and he kissed you back with much intensity. He'll have that shit-eating grin to tease his members who has a judgmental expression, "Take that somewhere hyung," Chenle probably and he'll take it! He'll take you out and tell them that he'll just sober you up but no one believes him though. 
Zhong Chenle
The moment you got your boyfriend's attention after minutes of him talking to his members, you find your way to cup his cheeks and peppered him with kisses, even leaving lip stains on his face. You ignored the way the Dreamies' expression changed from a blank one to a surprised one. Once you finished it, your hands never left but you're laughing tipsily because of your boyfriend's surprised face. Once Chenle got the hold of the situation, he'll apologize to his members because of your drunk antics but it was so so obvious that he likes it because he also has that shit-eating grin!
Park Jisung 
Jisung will sink into the depths of the earth the moment you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him for a kiss! He'll be frozen but will break it because he hears the hollering teasings from Dreamies. Look at their youngest!! He's doing a PDA at the club!! He'll be ears red but won't be mad at you because he knows you're too drunk! Probably will payback the next morning because he'll be teasing you nonstop about your sudden affection to him last night. You'll be shock and try to convince him that it didn't happened, it did because Jaemin filmed the entire thing lol. 
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11cupids-tarot11 · 7 months ago
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A Letter From Your Future Spouse
➽───────────────❥
1 -> 4
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Cupid's Services Cupid's Master List Socials
Tips appreciated!
C@sh app and P@ypal only!
$minnieplant3
@janellec03
LOVE U
- Cupid 𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡ꗃ⋆࣪.
︻デ═一 ✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
Pile 1- Four of Wands, The Fool, Page of Swords, Nine of Cups, Page of Wands, The Wheel of Fortune.
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"Hi you! I've been sleeping a lot, can't seem to do anything else lately because of how tired I've been. Finally. I can sleep as much as I want to now because of a situation that just so happened to end recently. Death.
What now? See, I've been wondering the same thing. But let's not even worry about it, let's just sleep as much as we want to because we finally can, even if it's only a little nap time out of your day do it because I gotta see you one last time later, I've got a message for you in your dreams. Spirit will tell you, don't worry about missing it or when <3
Resting so much so when I do have to work, you know, find that balance again between work and fun, I can focus on what's so important to me a lot better, I mean really give it my all... You know? Lol
Sorry, I dream a lot, you might notice my head is always in the clouds. I have very air energy like a Gemini.
Things are finally clearing up for me! I feel at peace, maybe we mirror each other and things are also getting better for you too? You have to let me know, okay? I feel like I can finally breathe again, be optimistic without being scared the rug is going to get snatched from underneath.
I've been working so so hard on my craft, putting in so much love and effort into my work and I feel really hopeful that all of my productivity will pay off soon, consistency is key, right?
I really like the color yellow, 😄 talk again soon!"
Hope you enjoyed! Don't forget to do the poll below 👇🏾 ✨
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
Pile 2- Knight of Wands, I forgot to write down the rest of the cards I'm so sorry 😞
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"I have no problem with putting in hard work for anything I want, even you, you know? If you don't want me the moment we catch eyes I'll make you ;)
The moment I catch you I'm going to make sure I never stop loving you, I'll make sure every day is beautiful, even on our bad days we'll kiss each other good night before bed still. I love you!
Why do you keep worrying yourself? All of that doubt in that pretty little head of yours isn't good, you should lay it all to rest before you make yourself sick baby. Sleep more, practice some self care before you run yourself crazy, okay?
I'm so proud of you, you know, for whatever amazing things you've accomplished lately. I believe in you, I'll always be your #1 cheerleader!
You should go out and celebrate! Enjoy the sun, you deserve it my angel! Promise me you won't let this go by like it's just not that big and you'll go out and do something? Pinky promise?
Stay focused! You're on the right path, you're doing amazing! I promise you, all of this will be worth it, it's worth our future 💓 keep going, I know you can do it! 🎉"
Hope you enjoy!!☺️ Don't forget to do the poll below!!
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
Pile 3- Queen of Cups, Justice, Four of Cups, The Moon, Three of Swords, The Star.
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" Hi my love, you know I don't talk a lot haha, so I'll make this quick as usual and get out of your hair so you can go on.
I just want to remind you, you're my queen, my favorite, my whole world ❤️ I think red looks really pretty on you btw but anyway, I love and miss you like crazy at times like these.
I am going through something right now, a legal situation, a situation I wish would come to an end right now because it's so heavy on me, it's hurting me but I know at the same time it's happening to me because it's part of my karma, something that's forcing me to look so closely at myself, at every shadow because I think it leads me to you. My everything. We're going to get married, I'm so sure of it.
I'm keeping hope alive, I'm hanging on to every thread of it I've got. I'm working on everything right now, I'll catch up with you soon sweetheart 💋 I'm going to kiss you when I do, you won't be able to get rid of me. ;) "
Hope you enjoy! Don't forget to do the poll below!!
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
Pile 4- Ace of Cups, The Hanged Man, King of Wands, Nine of Cups, Knight of Cups, Nine of Wands.
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"I want to come to you with amazing news but I can't, I'm sorry to say, I've taken a turn for the worst right now. Don't worry, it's temporary.
I am slowly building myself back up, that's what I'm doing right now if you're wondering what I've been doing all this time. I'm healing day by day and I hope you are too sweetheart. I might be a bit stuck and tangled up right now, but I'm clearing through it!
I'm the kind of guy who will pursue you with nothing but kindness until I make you fall for me with your charm, I'm cute, I know I am, you'll love me, I have curly light hair, and a really cute smile. You'll think I'm so adorable.
I want to offer my heart to you, fully, 100%. You have me, all of me as long as you give me you in return, I hope you do, I can't be without you once I know you.
Take care my love ❤️."
Hope you enjoyed ❤️ Don't forget to do the poll below!!
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wordbunch · 20 hours ago
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a/n: to all my moots and friends, no you didn't see me post this and yes im still your comfort lotr girl!!! to all others, hello & welcome to my newest obsession yes I have been corrupted. ENJOY!!!!
emperor Geta headcanons
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warnings: toxic behavior obviously lol, mild nsfw-ish mentions, this man should be taken with caution by all means
this man loves like he was starved and then brought to a feast - he inhales and devours every inch of you, every texture, scent, sound, personality trait, quirk, he will eat you UPPPP in every sense of the word; he wants his senses full of you and he can't ever get enough
he is definitely a very obsessive and possessive person, observant, sharp, witty. also when it comes to prayers and sacrifices, he means business - he dead seriously prayed for a wife who was headstrong, intelligent, passionate and fearless; someone who could match him in every way, whom he could verbally spar with, word for word, but also someone who'd have his back unconditionally as he doesn't really have many people to genuinely rely on. he wanted an equal, and he was also hoping for someone either his age or even a bit older - he was afraid of having a childish partner who wouldn't properly fill in a tremendously important role
he is 110% a switch and it fully depends on what kinda day he'd had and the mood he's in
contrary to many interpretations and rumors, he isn't horny 24/7!!!! like yes he IS insanely attracted to you, but his days can be so impossibly draining and tedious so sometimes he would just rather lie down with you and have you close, than do anything else. also, he doesn't do quickies or anything of the sort; he likes to go all in and take his sweet time with you, or let you have your way with him. he enjoys being dedicated and not distracted in bed with you. all in or nothing for this man. and yes he is vocal.
one thing that makes him feel absolutely AMAZING (and you realized quite quickly thankfully)is when you draw him a bath - yes it must be YOU specifically who does it - and then either give him a shoulder rub or wash his hair, or both. he will become putty in your hands and relax more than he can explain in words. pamperrr him sometimes 🥹😭 he finds it so thoughtful that you do this for him at the end of a taxing day; after all, there is nothing in the world he wouldn't do for you.
speaking of, when Geta notices something is off with you, he won't ask if he can make you happy again somehow, he will ask you to name what you want him to do, and he will do it. you are the only person with that effect on him.
most definitely is turned on by someone who is smart and witty and perceptive. also he has very keen eyes and he can read even your slightest signals, even in a crowded room, especially in a crowded room, and he also appreciates when you can read him without him having to verbalize anything to you
the most Protective Person of all time, God forbid someone looks at you wrong!!!
showers you with gifts
you will LOVE this - he likes when you match in some subtle, or obvious, way, like the same pattern on your robes, the same gems on your jewels, anything that shows off your bond and shows that you belong to him and he belongs to you completely. 🤍
almost weekly he has night terrors and horrible dreams either about his childhood/how they were treated by their father, or about something awful happening to you. you always do your best to comfort him, knowing that you're the only one who can do that and the only one allowed to see him in such a state
so you whisper sweet nothings to him, like promises you would never hurt him in any way and that you will always do your best to protect him and love him
touch starved, touch obsessed, cannot sleep without you in the bed, cannot sleep when you are on a journey somewhere and misses you terribly; can barely wait for you to return and then grip you in his arms and just breathe you in
obsessed with your scent
very often you are his impulse control and you just have the power to center him when he's losing his grip on a situation
he is so used to being in control (or having to be), that he will really spiral when a situation is getting out of hand and he feels not powerful enough to stop or change something. he is really bad at holding it together when shit is going down, and half the time he seems to be two steps away from a breakdown. honestly, sometimes you just have to let him rage, panic, and vent it out in whatever way, and he will come back to himself- and to your embrace-shortly.
he needs your approval and appreciation like air. if you don't think he is doing a good job, if you don't think (and show) he is smart, capable, if he isn't the center of your universe, nothing else matters at all
he will combust if he doesn't have at least a hand on you at all times
sometimes he still can't believe how you love him - people who touch him usually either want something from him, fear him, despise him, or all those - your gentle touch is an unfamiliar, yet welcome sensation; he can't get enough.
let's be real he can get anything he wants from you when he looks at you with those gigantic brown eyes, but somehow he seems unaware of that (and you already give him everything anyway)
if big gatherings and constant celebrations aren your thing, he will not let you out of his sight and, as much as you need him there to comfort you, he needs you on his arm to feel happy, safe and fulfilled. you just complete each other. 💛
as much as he enjoys every single loving nickname you give him, especially if you call him 'your' anything - your love, your darling, your heart, your pride and joy - but even more he will melt if you just call him by his name, as one of the very few (if not only) person who utters it with love, softness, adoration...unlike many who spit it out hatefully like poison
Geta feels veryyyy smug and proud of himself when he does an act of service for you, such as giving you a massage or bringing you a drink - look at him, he gets served things left and right, but he remains SO devoted to you only.
well, was that something? leave it to me to humanize the worst (actually historical) person ever and give him some PROPER FLUFF🫠
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httpiastri · 10 months ago
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a quick snippet/teaser for the jeddah chapter!! <3 rlly wanted to write something quick abt him yesterday so i wrote this on the bus. hope you all have a lovely day and that you'll be sending all of your love to this cutie boy during the race 😚
(i needed someone to guide the reader for a sec so i used chris, i have no idea why. if don't know him then don't worry, he's not important for the story lol...)
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series masterlist
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you've never ever been to the ferrari paddock before, so as you stand in the middle of it, you have no idea where to go or what to do; this is completely new territory. thankfully, you got a vip-pass from ollie before he ran off for his pre-qualifying duties, so at least you have the privilege of looking like a fool inside of the paddock instead of right outside the doors.
a fool dressed in a red bull cap, even. great.
"you don't look like you belong here, miss," a voice rumbles from behind you. your heart stops in your chest, and you're ready to improvise an excuse or find an escape route when you turn around – but luckily, you're met with chris, ollie's manager, standing there.
"thank god you're here," you say, letting out a sigh of relief. "do you happen to know where ollie is?"
he nods, smiling. "he's borrowing carlos's room. it's right down the hall and to the left."
you quickly thank him, turning again and making your way down said hallway. the room is easy to find, the two big, red fives on the door sticking out among the white walls. you're glad to find it unlocked, but you still knock a few times before sticking your head inside.
"sweetheart? can i come in?"
ollie is sitting on a massaging table, elbows on top of his legs and head resting in his hands. his eyes are stuck on the floor, but you take his silence as a yes.
"i got your text," you say, tiptoeing inside and shutting the door behind you, careful to not make any loud sounds to scare him. "how are you doing?"
when he still doesn't answer, your heat rate picks up. is something really wrong?
you make your way over to him, hands finding his cheeks and softly tilting him up to look at you – and you swear you've never seen him look this wrecked before.
not after his worst crashes, not when he lost the rookie championship last year. once again, you've entered completely new territory, and your heart breaks at the sight.
"ollie, talk to me," you plead, biting back the pout that starts to form on your lips. it's so painful to look into his eyes, but you can't back down. not now, not when he needs you this much.
"i'm-" his voice cracks but he shakes his head, clearing his throat. "i'm so nervous, i don't know what to do."
it's like he's oozing anxiety, and his heavy sigh is like a stab in your chest. ollie, your usually so calm and collected boyfriend, is probably going crazy over this – you know him well enough by now to understand that he's definitely freaking out even more on the inside than what he shows or tells. "i get that. one hundred percent. but," your thumbs begin to stroke over the skin of his cheeks, along his jaw, and then finally across his eyebrows, to which his eyes flutter closed. "this is your dream. it's been your dream since forever, and now you finally have the chance."
ollie sighs, but nods. you're getting to him.
"and it's not just any car, it's a ferrari. do you realize how cool that is? do you realize how many people would kill for an opportunity like this?" you smile at the sight of him with his eyes still shut, eyelashes resting atop his cheeks, messy fringe covering his forehead. even like this, at his most stressed state, he's completely gorgeous. "you would've killed for an opportunity like this just 24 hours ago."
"but what if i ruin it?" his voice is barely above a whisper when he speaks, shoulders slumping forward. "what if i go out there and i'm shit, and then they realize what a big mistake they've done by even putting me in the academy? what if-"
"it won't happen." his eyelids slowly open and he looks up at you, seemingly not even the slightest upset that you cut him off. "you're too good to do that. you'll get in that car and it will feel like your second home, just like it always does."
finally, a small smile makes its way onto his lips. it's only been a few minutes since you came in, but he seems much more relaxed now, leaning into your touch completely. "i'll try my best to make you proud."
you pout. "i'll be proud even if you end up with a slower lap than your pole lap from yesterday."
a laugh bubbles from his chest and he stands up from the table, opening his arms wide and pulling you in for a tight hug. his heart is still beating louder than a drum in his chest when your ear is pressed up against it, and you're almost worried it will jump out any second now. but his breaths are much more controlled now, and his mind seems much lighter.
he presses a long kiss to the crown of your head, arms squeezing you tight. "go out there and show them, baby," you tell him.
and so he does.
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crystallilytarot · 11 months ago
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You and your future spouse first impression of each other. Choose a word (these are erasers btw)
(can be future partner too, if you don't want marriage)
Ps. It's supposed to be about impressions, but somehow the cards showed me a story too, but I hope you will still like it!
Pile 1 - power
Your fs
It feels like you will be with friends /family / colleagues. Even if it's in the workplace, it will be a lunch break, a company party or something lighter feeling. And you are talking, laughing and your future partner will see you, and like bumm, they will know right away that you are special. Not exactly love at first sight, but instant attraction. And not even lust, it feels more like they will find you very intelligent, an interesting individual. You probably have a good sense of humour too. If it's in the workplace, they will try to do something, to work with you. You seems like someone who is good at teamwork. They will have instantly protective feelings about you. A little bit like a protector, but they will admire you from afar. A secret admiror, but nothing creepy. I think they will just need some time. And they won't even realize at first, that it's not just they find you interesting, but they find you very sexy too. The sexual attraction is there too from the beginning so it's a little funny, how they don't notice this. You know, like in fanfictions, where everybody knows that the main character has a crush on someone. Everybody but them lol
You
Okay, so you are the same. Kinda. But I think you will know a little earlier that you are attracted to this person, but you would think that it's impossible. In the very beginning, you probably won't even notice them, it feels like they are not really your usual type, or maybe they are, but still at first you will think that they aren't. So I mean, maybe a little different from your type in the outside, but in the inside, they are everything you ever wanted. After there's a period where you will feel really in love with them, but you will be like, it doesn't matter, it's only a platonic love. A little bit of a feeling like the company rules don't let people date on that workplace, or they are in a higher position than you. Or just simply you both feel like the other person is not interested in you. But in the end somehow you will be together. Can be that some friends will help you or just your guardian angels, because you seems like can't even believe that this person is really interested in you.
Pile 2 - dream
Your fs
They will be very attracted to you, right from the beginning. And they seems like a confident person, so I think they will try to invite you to a date pretty early. But either you will say no, or the date won't be so good. There's a little separation here. I feel like their intentions are genuine but somehow they don't act like it. In the beginning, but later you will be together. I feel that they are confident but you seems out of their league, and they find you so sexy, they will ruin this thing between you. Can be that you already know them, but you were too young, or the time / place were bad, but later you will reconcile.
You
There's an instant attraction from your side too, and I think you will feel that you have a lot of common things. You will actually see behind their behaviour and you will feel that they are a loving person. But still something isn't right. But I feel that both of you need some time to heal something, learn something before you meet again. The potencial is there from the beginning, but it feels like it wasn't real love back than, but if you meet again, it's so much better. Like 2 people who are emotionally available, and in peace with themself, so they can give love too.
Pile 3 - magic
Your fs
It's strange because it feels like neither of you are looking for love at that time. Something bad happened or just they are busy with other things in their life. They are in their journey to be a better person, maybe in their job too, but in their life in general too. So it feels a little sudden meeting. You two maybe already know each other. It's just for some of you. But for everybody, you both will feel like you are know each other for a long time. This person will feel like you are their safe place. It's possible that it will be a love at first sight. They will just know, that they want to be with you right away. They will think that you are like a sunshine in their life. Something like a child, who can feel joy almost innocently. A happy, optimistic feeling. And they will know right away that they will want to be with you long term. If you want children, there's that feeling too that they will know that they want a family with you.
You
So there's a little difficulties in your life too when you are meeting this person. But they will bring back the hope to your life. Instant sexual attraction from your side too. And probably love at first sight here too. But it seems like you are more of a rational person or you just don't believe that it's really happening for you. So you will fight with your feelings a little at first. Maybe it's because of past bad experiences. And you will find that person very attractive, so you will think that they probably have a lot of suitor/ a lot of people interested in them. A little bit of a f boy/girl thing, but they are not. I think they are a charming person, quite friendly and open, but they actually want a stable relationship, something meaningful.
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4dbarbie-archive · 1 year ago
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4dbarbie remix: How to let go of Vanessa
My notes: This is basically a TLDR version of my first 4dbarbie remix post How to realise Self. My original intention for that post was actually to make something like this, a really straightforward (and short lol) practical guide on how to let go of the ego in order to realize Self that I could refer to and apply on a day to day basis. It ended up being a long essay (it was over 3000 words aha) as I decided to go through all her posts and answered asks and found a lot of important information to include so it sort of became more of an educational post (which I'm glad to have made and it helped me understand everything better too!). So anyway, here it is. Pretty much all of the below information was taken from my How to realise Self post (besides the suggested exercises section at the bottom) - I just extracted the more practical guidance outside the explanations to make it.
My personal notes and highlights are in pink for main points and purple for 'action' points.
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Just let go of the ego, that’s how simple it is. All you need to fix is your wrong identification. There isn't anyone who couldn’t materialize anything right now if he or she would just let go of identifying as the limited body. 1
Stop thinking you are Vanessa, the thoughts of needing this or that drop away. To change, you need to give up this conviction of being this person. You need to disbelieve. 2 A lot of beliefs are subconscious. "I am a body", "I am Vanessa", "There is a world" are all subconscious, automatic beliefs. Upon investigation you can get rid of any belief (by making them conscious and then dropping them). 14 How do you drop a belief? (see part 1 and part 2)
All you need to do is detach from this form during the day, let life happen as it happens while reminding yourself it's a dream, a dream that doesn't have to be yours. 3
What I recommend you to do is bring your self into focus, become aware of your own existence. See how you function, watch the motives and the results of your actions. Study the prison you have built around yourself because of credulity. By knowing what you are not, you come to know your self. The way back to your self is through refusal and rejection. 4
Leave your mind alone, that is all. Don't go along with it. 5 Thoughts will keep on coming for a while, just now you know they have nothing to do with you. Get into a habit of watching, letting them be but not identifying with them. If you can observe them, it means you are not them. 6
Step away and look (observe). The physical events will go on happening, but by themselves they have no importance. It is your mind alone that matters. When you identify yourself with them, you are their slave, you think you have to act on them. When you stand apart, you are their master 7
Just stop taking the thoughts you don't like for truth or reality. There is no convincing involved, it is all letting go. 8 Doesn't matter what the thought is, leave it alone, ignore it BUT not by force of will, just indifference 9
Start letting go bit by bit, just to see what happens. You won't start "acting crazy" just because you become uninterested in thoughts, I promise 10
You don't need to convince yourself they're unreal, just dismiss them (the thoughts) as not yours. They will disappear more and more through your newfound indifference, then their physical counterparts will, too. Detachment is by doubt and indifference. First you start doubting "the facts", then you become indifferent to the facts, lastly there are no facts anymore and you can establish your own. 9
Your next step will be realizing there is nothing to learn in a dream. You'll find yourself having less and less thoughts, then none at all. Then, only if you want, you will be able to reinstall the mind, now of your choice, and change the dream. 3
All you need is to get rid of the tendency to define your self. All definitions apply to your body only and to its expressions. Once this obsession with the body goes, you will revert to your natural state, spontaneously and effortlessly. 4
Be patient with yourself because you don't lose any time, just get to that place I'm telling you about and then you can just go back in time if you so wish. All worry is pointless! And there is nothing to fear, things just happen, do not claim them as yours for a while. Unclutter your mind, it becomes your servant after you've freed it enough. 11
Reminder: This body and this world are not forced onto you, they exist through your identification with them. Not yours, remember? Repeat. Not yours. You won't lose your mind, you'll only lose your misery. After you've detached, you'll easily shift to as many realities as you want - don't put any on a pedestal of desire, they are equal. See this world and the body as not real first. What is true is only what I AM is identified with, right now this body which is not in that TV show (referring to anon's desire). Correct this first by letting go of thinking it's you. 12
Suggested exercises (not required if you don't want to do it!)
1. Sitting in silence & just being with no thoughts - The whole point of sitting in silence is to realize what you are, pure beingness. Awareness only becomes consciousness when it has an object. The object changes all the time. In consciousness there is movement; awareness by itself is motionless and timeless, here and now. 4
2. Start doubting you'll wake up as Vanessa tomorrow - Not to get it, but consider it actually… What if… I wake up tomorrow and I realize an entire life has been just a dream?! Equal to the one I dreamt last night?! What if you wake up and realize it all was a nightmare that you THOUGHT went on for years and it's just been a few hours... even get scared and terrified about that thought. Better than getting scared about non-reality.
WHAT IN THE WORLD?! That never was... but I felt it so real, I swear I was her?! Yet here you are, awake, and the dream never was.
Do it like that. Doubt that it's anything but a dream as much as possible. 13
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Sources:
Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14
In-text links: 1, 2, 3, 4
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thoughtsonkm · 3 months ago
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Goodbye, for now
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BABY? HONEY? BOYFRIEND SHOT? Jikook you're too much!
This episode was truly the best way to end the show, maybe even the best episode of the series. (Neck in neck with episode 2 of course) The way they enjoyed it so much but were also so sad it was over. The hot tension all around, the soft boyfriends mood who can't stop flirting and name calling each other with the most low-key couple-like sweet names. They could not stop laughing, they could not stop touching and they couldn't stop being hilarious without even trying.
~
SK Spotify daily chart end of November 2023 :
Jimin Jungkook Jimin Jungkook Jimin Jimin
~
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It would be such a full circle moment if Jimin posted the boyfriend photo (which won't happen). Would almost be like a soft launch of some sort.
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Not the underwear too?? Gosh I love my little gay freaks!! (didn't understand why Jimin would quote their 'yet another inner joke meme' right at that moment but I've learned to not question their inner workings)
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Sorry but i have to be pretty one last time and say that I kinda had enough of seeing so much from the crew around or even in Jikook's shots and angles. It breaks the fourth wall a little too much and ruins the whole bubble idea. Ok I'm done lol
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Returning to the issue at hand, the "seeing the beds for the first time" scene keeps getting funnier and funnier. As if they don't already have designated sides of the bed 😏
~
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Ah the never ending bickering gives me life. Peep the half korean half english talk when they playfully get on each others nerves 👀😂
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I better not speak on the scuzzi jacuzzi shenanigans cause otherwise.. Let's just say the photo speaks for itself..
NO YOU KNOW WHAT IMMA SPEAK. We all know that jacuzzi time is always intimate, relaxing and personal for people that's why I wish Jikook had enjoyed it fully without cameras. Yes I'm pissed on their behalf, that they had to film the whole thing with 382929 different angles. lol
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His face is literally saying "oh so you're really gonna make me do it huh? if I was in your place I would've folded immediately and would've never let you go through with it!!" 😂
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No one ever:
Jikook every 2sec : HONEY OH HONEY
(I was actually listening to the song while writing this and idk why it's so funny to me even tho it's a sad love ballad)
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They must've loved getting the chance to at least see one episode of the show, plus the idea of watching it together..
Jungkook being so entertained by it meanwhile Jimin being mortified about half of the things that happened. HILARIOUS
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HAHAHHAHAHA all parties were concerned if they'd be able to pull it off, I can't
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BEST BELIEVE they're always gonna find a way to touch. Consciously or unconsciously.
~
This show made me realize that my favourite thing ever is Jk making food for Jimin, then making him hysterically laugh and therefore getting to hear Jimin's adorable giggles.
~
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"Hello it is I the one and only, the only one who can touch Jimin's head ble ble ble ble" - JK
Jk was like: How can you imagine Jimin without me in your dream? Are you crazy? What is this delusional dream world you live in Jin hyung??
~
Tbh it's so meaningful and a huge thing saying that these trips were literally the best trips of your life. I think the statement almost went over people's heads.
I can't get enough of Jimin looking pretty and cuddly and Jungkook's immediate thought being: I HAVE TO FILM YOU
Them saying they can do a reboot when they come back gave me some hope that maybe just maybe this is not the end of AYS 😭
The ending bonus clip left me fulfilled but also sad and with goosebumps all over.
Thank you Jimin & Jungkook for letting us peek into this trip and getting to witness some of your precious moments.
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Signing off, J&J 🥹
Ps. So I'm guessing the 52 minute video that comes with the photobook is probably the 3 bts videos combined that they've been reviewing for 48392 months right?
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vaguely-concerned · 5 months ago
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...the 'almond room' thing in the unwanted guest IS a reference to/play on words on amygdala, right? (amygdala comes from the greek word for almond!) I didn't read that wrong? it is stupid sexy Ianthe coyly inviting Palamedes into a different chamber of her brain, as it were?
(also the pieces of meat -- the feeding or kissing, it's hard to say which of it all -- being present right from the beginning... ianthe DOES know exactly what has happened to her, doesn't she. palamedes is just cutting his way through her layers of denial and repression all merciless and scalpel-like to get her to admit it. or, she knows subconsciously at least -- each person comes in and feeds her something that she's helpless to stop from becoming a part of her even in her coffin, with bloody kisses. oh baby love is feeding me bad meat and I have no choice but to swallow it down. like yeah I suspect that is how human contact can feel when your sense of self and boundaries developed to be a specific kind of Fucked Up lol. that shit could make a person dream of being a diamond in a glass of wine; perfect, inviolable, untouchable, eternally separate and safe. In the words of Andrea Gibson in Prism:
They say the womb is where we learn love is knowing the cord that feeds you could at any moment wrap around your neck
that is quite literally ianthe's first introduction to love -- her sister, a cord around her neck. Corona is Ianthe's other self, a second soul running around outside of her body, and she seems to consider herself as responsible for (and entitled to) the preservation of Corona's soul as her own. the way this mirrors that growing up, Ianthe had to be two necromancers in one body to let them stay together. (twins and ghosts all the way down I guess.) she's still just trying to do the same thing, I think, she's simply put on some bigger boots about it. the central problem of lyctorhood, self vs. connection/love, rears its head once again -- Ianthe existentially wants total self-contained self-sufficiency, perfect control, sovereign sway and masterdom over her soul... but she wants that at the same time as being in uninterrupted (uninterruptible!), eternal and indelible intimacy with her sister, whose soul also cannot be allowed to change. which, you know. freedom and love don't coexist the way you want them to, Ianthe, no matter how clever you are there won't be a way to get what you want. (especially not with a sister whose idea of what love is seems to go more towards being consumed, made one, by whatever violence necessary -- 'she could have taken me'.) man. Ianthe is a spectacular and ongoing piece of work, but sometimes it's hard to see how she could ever have turned out otherwise considering the conditions she was born and raised under haha.
the two-way street of the horror of digestion, whether you're the devourer or the devouree. part of you in me, part of me in you, whether either of us likes it or not we're both changed by this. bad news: you can't get out of interconnectedness by finding the cleverest loophole around it, ianthe. nice try, though)
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