#let me be delusional and sad and canon divergent

[quick-catton]

feeling not okay over what felix and oliver could've been and how they didn't even get the chance to try.

they could've had so many firsts together, so many adventures and fights and memories and pictures and trips and milestones.

and yeah, being real, it probably would've ended badly regardless, but they didn't even get the chance to ruin it all on their own.

there was so much life to be lived. :(

[jyndor]

Do you read Rogue One fanfics? If yes what are your favourite? I don't know if I want read any because I love movie and movie ending but if some writers do it justice too or change middle parts I curious about it 😄

of course! In addition to this list here, I have some more fic recs! I have so many faves from many different angles - everybody lives delusional canon divergence fic, aus, canon sad rip to my heart everybody dies fic, etc. these are aus so yay

resistance is built on hope by chronicolicity, world war ii UNREAL resistance au, this is a fucking 200k+ fic that deals with the French resistance mainly but of course contains topics related to fascism, racism, etc. it's rogue one rewritten in this era, but it's a little better tbhhh imooo lol because we spend more time with the characters and saw is not slandered and cassian!!! oh my god cassian. all the characters are fabulously written but this version of kay actually may be my favorite in any fic. I mean don't hold me to that BUT

by stardust and moonlight by @imsfire2 is a magical fantasy fic where cassian is cursed to live by day as a wolf except when the moon is out, and he stumbles upon witch jyn's house. it's a beautiful love story and a beautiful story in general.

only women should be funny by @shu-of-the-wind​ with jewish!jyn and cassian as a lenny bruce type in this marvelous mrs maisel au which oh my god lol there are two rebelcaptain comedian aus on ao3 and this is the superior one (the other is written by me lol). this deals with racism, sexism, antisemitism iirc, etc.

never had a shotgun (shot in the dark) by ev0lution is a race car driver au idk it’s just really great, works so nicely

the tiger shark and the sun by b_else is a really great fusion of avatar the last airbender and rogue one. they’ve tweaked the world a lot to be more representative of the characters in rogue one, but it’s really well done. deals with the usual suspects: racism, fascism, imperialism, sexism, etc.

pikes peak, july 4 1901 by whatsinausername is a great underrated historical au dealing with a real life event in us history. period typical racism and sexism, but it’s a relatively light, uplifting fic.

the sun in splendor by @shu-of-the-wind​ is incomplete but its a fusion of asoiaf and rogue one/star wars and i love it so dearly. features light of my life shara bey.

shadow preachers by @andorerso​ yeah this is a treat and a half, cass and jyn are monster hunters and IT HURTS

let the cat out of the bag by @andorerso​ lol honestly any of these writers i would say you should read all of their fic but my girl sissi has like so many fun little au fics, but this one is great and hit me from the moment i first read it. it’s just fun! jyn’s fwb cassian charms the shit out of her cat, who hates everyone. it’s based on a reddit story iirc. love it. rated M, has the sex.

I will do more soon but yeah these are aus that I like

lmao sorry you deactivated before I answered rip

[seethesunny]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged my @oliviassunrise. Thank you so much!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

35!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

Currently it's 190, 177 but I want to reach 200K words before this year ends hehe

3. What fandoms do you write for?

EAH and TLOU but I'm mostly writing about TLOU these days, since I have to really be deeply invested in something to actually write for it!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. It is late now, I'm a bit tired; the sky is irritated by stars. (And I love you, I love you, I love you.) - TLOU main Jackson AU series 2. hoax - EAH rapple pain 3. it is a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in this broken world - TLOU main Jackson AU series part II 4. I was lost within the darkness (until I found you) - TLOU family ficlet collection 5. Let's chase the sun while it still burns for us. - TLOU Canon divergence AU — Tess lives and they can actually lay low kinda a fix it fic

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do, I know I'm not the best at replying bc I feel like I repeat myself too much, but I need people to know I'm grateful about them reading in any way I can convey that 😭

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

If you know me, then you're aware I go full angst mode and I make these poor characters go through hell lol but probs unraveled/undone though because it physically hurted to write it (since the OG ending was more hopeful and the two endings I wrote are so sad)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'm delusional enough to say it's Daylight, another Jackson AU where nothing bad ever happens and everyone is happy

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Aside from two snarky comments earlier this year, not that I'm aware of!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Okay answering this is funny bc contrary to what my archive shows, I rarely can write smut and only when the mood strikes right and I have something to say, I guess 🧍🏽‍♀️which means that it's mostly really bad written kinky smut lol but who will stop me

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not really, I don't have enough interest in them anymore (but back in 2016 I created one with a friend that involved anime and werewolves. It’s not posted, don’t ask)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No that I'm aware of! And please don’t do this ever lmaooo

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not yet, but I have considered that maybe I could translate my own stuff to my first language in the future, if you ever want to do it tho I'm open to the idea 👀

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Unfortunately not yet :(( there have been some talks with some writers about the idea but it never happens, and it's unfortunate because I loooove sharing ideas and working together creatively (Koku can agree with me on this, we've created so many things this year)

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I have a bunch of them that I cherish with my whole heart but if there’s one that hits all my checkmarks it's Joel/Tess, their ambiguous nature has always been fitting for them and it works wonders to fill in the blanks, and also I've loved them since the beginning lols I'm never making it out of this hell

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Shaking and crying I think it's ALL the multichapter fics I have planned but have no clue how to keep writing 💔💔 in any case it would be Fourth of July (canon divergence au where Ellie is Tess and Joel’s bio kid, she leaves and they reunite when she gets bitten then reconcile in the canon journey)

16. What are your writing strengths?

Maybe that I have versatility? I think I can write about many things and topics efficiently, characterization and that I employ poetry often... I think

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Would it be wrong to say everything 😭 but joking aside it's definitely dialogue, plot heavy writing and certain genres (action and suspense mostly)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I encourage it doing proper research + consulting someone who actually speaks the language, so it's authentic! That's what I would do

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Anime fandom who shall never be brought up again.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

J&T Ficlet collection because it has some of my best writing and it showcases my style perfectly, I'm glad I got encouraged enough to post it <3

Tagging: @beerandyarn @wardenannie @anne1marie @raffinit @ilovecats491 @thefloatingwriter @mariatesstruther and anyone else who wants to share 🤲🏼❤

[electricbluebutterflies]

Garcy + a kiss to celebrate an engagement

Usual canon-divergence, PG-ish, also on ao3.

It is, objectively, not a romantic proposal.

Not that Lucy would describe herself as a romantic, at least not voluntarily or sober, but… the life she has had, as a reasonably feminine woman who can understand the catharsis of fluff, has given her a few baselines for this sort of thing. A proposal should be planned, for one thing. There should be pretty words involved. Asking familial permission is out of the question in her circumstances, she’ll allow that violation of tradition, but perhaps the rest of the team could’ve served as a substitute. There should be, if not a proper engagement ring, at least some cute substitute – even something edible would do as long as it does end up on her hand.

As it is, the nicest thing she can say about what actually happens is at least neither of them is bleeding when it does.

Perhaps she’s expecting too much. She will be the second wife, after all; perhaps whatever romantic inclinations he ever had, a personality trait she has no evidence for to begin with, got used up last time around. Perhaps doing anything the traditional way would bring back painful memories, and she can understand and respect and be calm about that but-

Effort, she thinks, would still be nice. Not this.

“Will you marry me?” he says like it’s the most casual thing in the world, and she’s pretty sure there were more emotions involved a few hours earlier when he asked if she’d seen a particular sweater recently, and no she hadn’t, she doesn’t borrow that one, it’s a bad color and it itches and-

It takes her a few moments to realize that he is in fact asking that question as seriously as a human being ever could.

At least it’s not a let’s-find-a-tax-loophole proposal like she’d expected. That would be worse. Barely.

They’ve talked about this in vague terms, like something they want to do when their war ends if it ever ends, a way of tethering themselves whenever they have to face the outside world again. It would make sense, the way those conversations go. More of a legal formality than a big step. The dynamic wouldn’t change. As it is, they are roommates who occasionally enjoy their attraction to each other, and she’s not sure they’re even technically dating, and-

“Yes,” she replies after a few heartbeats too long, and her frustration doesn’t mean a damn thing against how she feels.

It is not romantic, not really, but it’s real. She wants whatever this ends up meaning, however their relationship changes out of it, and they will change, she’s not delusional enough to think it really will be as simple and insignificant as it sounded last time they talked about it as a hypothetical a few weeks ago and-

She pushes herself up on tiptoe to kiss him, this absolute tree of a man who is apparently now her fiancé, and she should be questioning this so much more than she is. Engagement is a formality; they won’t actually marry until they’re out of current circumstances, months or years from now, unless it looks like the deprogramming process would be easier with legal immunity and god it probably would be and she wouldn’t be surprised if-

No. She will not overthink this. Not now. Not when there is a part of her that wants it more than anything.

Someday, she thinks as they break apart and she sees the sweet-sadness in his eyes, someday this will be one hell of a story to tell their children.

[falloutjay]

Stan x anxious/compassionate reader (kind of has a little canon divergence)

After giving up on Wendy (around Season 12), Stan and us start dating, we were always worried about him (no we weren't dating him out of pity, we were just a very anxious person). Some people find of clingy, others find us adorable but We've never left his side:

Ex: We were by his side helping with whales (Whale W)

We were the only one who didn't leave him when he got depression (You're Getting Old/Ass Burgers)

Next to Heidi, we became social pariah because we didn't want to dump Stan (this even made Wendy guilty)

But him moving, really gets to us, the coronavirus makes it worse. We get worried about him, then we start getting worried about everyone else as everything falls apart (Kyle, Kenny, Eric, Butters, Tweek, Craig, Scott, etc.) And we pass out of stress. About waking up in the hospital, we find out, everyone was worried about us. And Stan is the most worried of all, he spends the whole day with us. We tal-no vent about all the happened to the both of us. By the end of it, we agree that whatever happens we'll do it together.

Guess whos back! :D

Well, while it's not my best work, in my humble opinion, I sure hope you enjoy and like it. Again sorry for the delay! ಥ_ಥ

And if it's not that clear, because I know I can write a little cryptic, there is a time skip. You can either have all the show events happen when they are children and have the time skip between Covid and the memories or between you getting together as kids and the memories. Choose however you like! ^^

_________________________________________

Stan x anxious!compassionate!Reader

Tiny eyes watched the scene unfold.

Normally, Wendy was the one to break up with Stan, but not this time around. Stan was actually telling Wendy that he had no interest in her anymore.

“What changed Stan?” Wendy asked, obviously confused.

“I think I like someone else… I don’t know yet…”

Wendy gave him a smile.

“I wish you all the luck Stan, say if you need anything!”

“I will.” And with that, Wendy took off to be with her friends, while Stan turned a corner and told Kyle and Kenny how it went.

Cartman was there too, but he only wanted to know if she cried, because “she would deserve it.”.

You closed your locker and felt your heartbeat like crazy. Ever since you changed school a few months ago, Stan captured your little ten-year-old mind.

He was kind and showed you around when you had no idea where to go. It was a little crush you developed, and you never felt as scared and excited as now, since that Stan had broken off with Wendy.

This newfound feeling almost made you dizzy but you quickly snapped back into reality when you heard your name.

“Y/N?” Stan asked and waited patiently for his answer next to you.

“Oh, sorry, I was thinking, what did you want?”

“Would you maybe like to hang out some time?”

Stan almost got a heart attack when you suddenly squealed but was happy when you managed to get a high-pitched “YES!” out.

“Okay, what are you betting Kenny? Some Pennies or a dead rat?” Cartman almost fell from his chair laughing about his shitty joke, while Kyle and Kenny rolled their eyes.

“Don’t you think it’s weird how clingy they are?” Kyle asked his blonde friend, while they kept watching you and Stan, who were seated at a separate table at lunch.

“Honestly, I think it’s pretty cute.” Kenny said with his muffled voice.

You held his arm and hugged him from the side, while he happy kept on eating his lunch.

Eric, who had now calmed down from his laugh attack eyed the couple critically. “I’m giving them a month max.”

He said lazily and looked around. “I say longer than a year.” Kenny said, throwing a crinkled five-dollar note on the table.

“You two are horrible.” Kyle shook his head before he threw 10 dollars on the table.

“Four months.”

Kenny was a happy man after a year, because despite everyone believing you two would eventually break up, you never did.

You were always by his side, no matter what.

His desire to desperately save whales with the help of a braindead ship crew?

You were always right by his in the interviews he gave.

His horrible depression that even drove Kyle away? No chance, you stood strong and helped him through the whole thing and even help reuniting the gang.

Even during the protest against Skanthunt42, you chose to sit this one out, despite you absolutely hating that the troll photoshopped a dick into your mother’s mouth.

At least you and Heidi got close due to you guys both becoming social outcasts. When Wendy heard this, she was impressed by your dedication and felt somewhat guilty for obviously not trying as much in her former relationship.

Everyone admired your patience and endurance. No matter what obstacle came, you managed to get through it.

“You don’t need to be sad, Y/N. I won't be that far away.” Stan said, holding your hand.

“B-But it's outside of town. You need ages by bike to get there and vice versa.” You said, holding back tears.

Randy walked past you and you desperately pleaded to him.

“Please Mister Marsh, please stay in town!” Randy put the box he carried into the car, before turning to you.

“Real sorry, dear Y/N. This town is…How do I put it… Absolute shit and I really want to get away.”

He patted you on the head and went back into the house to get more boxes.

“Told you, you cant talk to him.” Stan said and shrugged.

“But it’s unfair. We won’t see each other as much anymore.” Stan pressed a kiss onto your cheek, which made you blush intensely.

“Don’t. Worry. I will make time for you.”

With that in mind, you didn’t feel as sad, when the car with the Marsh Family in it left for their new home.

“I will make time for you, my ass.” You mumbled while you sat at a bench near Starks Pond. Letting out a deep sigh, you leaned back and just enjoyed the warmth of the setting sun.

Covid was one hell of a bitch and just had to have this big impact on everyone’s life. Stan and you now saw each other less and less.

It was just a horrible feeling that tainted your heart and made you worry a lot.

Maybe he was feeling just as bad as you are, maybe even more?

Maybe he just didn’t want to tell you how he felt?

Were you maybe a bad partner? Your mind began racing and your train of thoughts became unrailed.

So many bad thoughts manifested themselves and it made you almost gasp for air.

“I need to check on him.” You mumbled getting up from the park bench.

You began walking and you kind of hoped that maybe just the walking would get your mind in check, but sadly it didn’t. Involuntarily you had to think about all the other stuff that happened during this horrible time.

The precious Broship was more fragile than ever. You had become such good friends with Kenny, Kyle and Cartman over time that it hurt you a lot too.

You also saw Covid take a toll on your other friends, like Craig and his group, who now took Cartman into their gang after the split up.

However, that came to be…

The girls were also pretty divided, so hanging out with them meant picking sides which wasn’t your thing, you kinda just want them to get along again.

Everything felt like it was falling apart. Your parents had fights ever so often, all your friends had problems and your beloved boyfriend was stuck on that stupid farm.

God how you hated that stupid farm and Randy.

When he gave you one of those plushies that looked like him, you functioned it into a voodoo doll. But sadly, it didn’t seem to affect him, no matter how many needles you rammed into it.

Your heart felt heavy, and it seemed hard to breathe, but you brushed it aside.

You had already reached the busy streets of South Park and mingled between the newly vaccinated people.

Everywhere you looked, the people seemed happy.

Everyone was happy except you and the people around you… Maybe…You were the problem?

You shook your head. No, you didn’t allow those kinds of thoughts.

You much rather think about Stan. How you miss him and how amazing your dates were.

Oh, how much effort he put into all the small things… Well… At least he did.

Now that you thought about it when was your last date?

It feels like it had been ages. It has been ages. Everything had been ages. Going out with him, hanging out with your friends, your family not fighting… How long has this been the new normal? You can’t help but wonder.

Your heart clenched again. “Stop it, stupid heart.” You mumbled under your breath.

An exhausted sigh escaped your lips when you thought about how you maybe had to walk all the way up to the farm… It would take ages, but you really craved being held by the person you adored so much.

So, you continued walking down through the street when an elder lady stopped you.

“Excuse me, but you look rather sickly, are you alright?” Confused you raised an eyebrow. Did the vaccines make them delusional?

“No, I’m fine.” You answered, somewhat snippy, even when you didn’t know why you were so agitated.

“But you look rather pale, maybe you- I am fine.” You interrupted her and continued your path.

Were all people in this shitty town stupid or- The thought could not be completed, due to you suddenly losing consciousness.

When you woke up again, you immediately recognized one of the Hells Pass Hospital rooms, once your eyes had adjusted to the bright lights. Around the bed were your parents and more importantly Stan and his mother.

“Thank God, you’re awake again!” Your mother said when she went for a hug.

Confused you asked why you were here.

“Well, seemingly you were so stressed out, that your body basically shut down.”

Somewhat shocked you looked around. Was it really a surprise to hear that? Not really, but it still felt odd knowing that it happened.

“Well, I’m glad you’re fine, Y/N.” Misses Marsh commented and smiled warmly at you. She had always liked you and you felt the same. She was always nice to you and you felt like she was the only one with a brain in the family…

Feeling a sudden sensation of warmness on your hand, your eyes darted down to it. Stan held you hand while answering something your dad had asked him.

“Well, Sharon, you wanna accompany us to get some hot chocolate for us all?”

Your mother said with an odd wink, which made you and Stan roll your eyes.

The three adults left the room chatting happily. Stan looked at you with a stern expression, which kind of surprised you.

“I swear, whenever I think I couldn’t get more worried about you, your parents call me, to tell me that you’re in the hospital.”

“Worried? About me? I should be worried about you?” You laughed to which Stan shook his head.

“Listen, everyone has been super worried about you since you seemed so down and just exhausted. Like, Kyle already called me earlier to ask if you’re awake again. I don’t know why you worry about me; I am really fine babe. Promise.”

With that said, the door opened, and your parents came back inside.

“Y/N, the doctor said they would like you to stay the night, so they can check that you’re really alright.” Your father informed you and you were immediately annoyed.

Well, you had no choice but to oblige. Your parents left after an hour, wanting to get you some clothes and other things you’d need.

Sharon also bids her goodbye and so you and Stan were left.

And just like you wished, you got to cuddle with him. He held you close, and you vented to him, how worried you were about everything and everyone, while he told you just how worried all of your friends had been since you were acting so out of character.

“Even Cartman?”

“Yup, even when he would never admit it.” Stan laughed. He held your hand tight, and his content smile never left his face.

“I think we should talk more about feelings and being worried and all that. I know I’m not all that good at it, but I don’t ever wanna have to visit you in a hospital again.” Stan said, giving your hand a squeeze.

“That sounds good. But you gotta accept, I worry a lot, because I care a lot about you, okay?” You said sternly and Stan nodded. You two looked fondly at each other and just enjoyed the time you got.

“Together forever?” You asked and he whispered “Forever.”, before he pressed a sweet kiss onto your lips.

[rinusagitora]

we will carve a home out of the hollow in your chest

Fandom: Bleach

Characters: Momo Hinamori, Toushirou Hitsugaya, Shuuhei Hisagi, Izuru Kira

Pairings: RenShuuKiraHina-centric, familial HitsuHina

Words: 1500+

Summary: Canon divergent, pos TYBW arc. WARNINGS– body horror, minor violence, mass death. 3/4. The war is over, and the losses are permanent, but they know how to manage.

FFN | AO3 | Previous | Next

Her tears refused to desist, even as she fell into a trance as she tallied body after body. It was most certainly what Nanao’s rag was for, she thought after she tied the musty triangle over her face. Though Nanao grieved their massive losses, she wasn’t quite so selfless. She couldn’t bring herself to care for charred shapes or smears or pincushions or pieces of, she had exhausted all of her care except for but a handful after that man left, and a part of that handful had left her broken-hearted with his self-loathe.

His hurt left a hole in her, the exact mirror of his own.

Izuru had been cruel in the past, like she could be accusatory and like Renji could be cold and like Shuuhei could be passive-aggressive, but Aizen was a taboo subject for them. Aizen wasn’t something to be mentioned unless she brought it up, and he especially hadn’t called her delusional or implied fault on her end in the past.

She replayed it over and over again, she simply couldn’t stop, and it felt like that hole grew each and every time she restarted it. She didn’t wail, but she didn’t cease either. She may dry up at that rate.

Part of her, the part still needy for love, hoped she did.

Hours passed, and then hours more. She was grateful that she was left virtually alone to be lost in her work. The scene she caused in the tents most likely known by most of the Seireitei by then. Those last few days felt like a continuous existence instead of new days. It wasn’t nice to lose herself among the corpses of fallen allies, but it was a distraction. It was all that she could do.

“I hope you just forgot to sign out the last two days.”

She squawked as her heart launched into her throat. She spun around and nearly slapped her brother, but somehow refrained. “You need to stop sneaking up on people! It’s rude and you know better!” She snapped.

“I didn’t sneak, I’ve been here for the last ten minutes. You just don’t pay attention.” Toushirou told her as he crossed his arms.

“Don’t you have other things to do instead of bug me? Like captain duties?” She scoffed.

“Yes, but I haven’t slept in three days. I know you may think otherwise, but I’m not immortal. And neither are you.” He said. “Truthfully, I’ve come to fetch you since you’re totally incapable of taking care of yourself. Let’s get some food and some rest-- captain’s orders. Yes, your captain’s orders.”

She rolled her eyes as she followed her brother. “I can take care of myself just fine, thank you.”

“Being able to cook doesn’t count if you hardly eat, and it doesn’t pertain to rest. So I’m more right.”

“You’re obnoxious.” She grumbled.

“Although true, I’m assuming it doesn’t bother you if my teeth are still in my gums.” He said as he looped his arm around her waist.

Part of her missed their banter, she thought as she held Toushirou’s shoulders. She missed the simplicity of the Rukongai, but it was a distant memory and an impossibility to ever attain such purity again. She was too damaged and he was too jaded. But it was nice to be close to her brother again, to be held by his sympathetic grip. He had always taken better care of her than she ever herself, and though part of her hated how dependent she was on other people, she knew he felt guilty that he never say her fifteen years of torment, that he even liked her tormentor. Anything to bring a little comfort to him.

Their arms fell as they approached more populated areas. They were still leaders with images to maintain. Though, it was sparser than normal. It was midshift though, so she guessed most people counted, cleaned, or rebuilt.

She and Toushirou sat on an end table, far from any other activity. They had never been at the center of any group-- he always an outcast, and she too long removed from normal relationships to remember how to mingle with the masses. She had the handful that she needed; Toushirou, Rangiku, Nanao, Hirako, her boys.

Sans Izuru, which made her tears start afresh.

Toushirou certainly heard about the scene she caused at the tents. She wondered if he was there to perform some damage control and provide comfort in his own, awkward way. He never liked her lovers after Aizen, but he understood how much they meant to her. He understood when he boys hurt, she hurt. He understood his meddlesome habits were hurtful, but also that his presence itself soothed her.

“He'll start missing you guys as soon as he's done throwing his tantrum and come back and apologize.” Toushirou assured her. “I just wish he'd do it sometime soon. Outorishibashi hasn't stopped meaning about this since Kurotsuchi de-zombified him.”

“I feel like moaning about it too, so I don't blame him.” She murmured.

“It's not your fault, Hinamori. You didn't blow a hole through him.”  

No, but she had scared him off, twice then. He must feel like an abomination. “I hit him….” She said.

“Three times, from what I've heard. But I've heard that he deserved it. He's only got one lung now, so what? Taking out his misery on you makes him no better than Aizen.”

Her nostrils flared as she sighed. When would that man finally die in everyone's memory so she could let him die in her heart?

Still, Toushirou was right. Had Izuru really expected them to just not love him anymore because of his body? Had he really thought cruelty would’ve terminated their love when she put up with Aizen’s for years? Had he really thought she would’ve just thrown him aside like a filthy ragdoll like Aizen and Ichimaru and Tousen did to them?

It was just another bump in their relationship and they’d weather it out. She would make sure of that.

“Get some rest, alright?” She told her brother as she stood. She couldn’t eat anymore, though she had only cleaned half of her tray.

“You too, Hinamori.” Toushirou said.

She, of course, didn’t follow instructions and went right back to work.

At least she didn’t need the rag. She was glad all those tears had been worked out. She hated when she was emotional at work. Technically, she hated her emotions period, but her boys made it easier. When her boys kissed her, when they laid with her and let her play with their hair, it wasn’t as achey because she could feel their love with her misery.

She was suddenly plucked out of the neck-deep rubble she searched through. Shuuhei pecked her on her cheek as he hauled her onto her onto the huge slab held up by rubar and other debris.

“He’s back.” He whispered to her. “He and Renji had a long heart-to-heart the way he and Renji have their heart-to-hearts, and anytime you’re ready to talk, we should do so.”

Shuuhei’s announcement made her heart do some strange up and downs. It terrified her, because she was scared she would do the wrong thing and scare him away again. Part of her wanted to storm over to him and scold her blue-eyed lover for his cruelty to her but she assumed Renji had chewed off his ear enough. She wanted to run back to him and kiss him until he had no choice but to proclaim his love for her.

“I…” she cleared her throat, “it’s hard for me to feel him. Take me to him. Please?”

Shuuhei picked her up by the back of her knees. He was faster than she was, with his long stride and superior hakuda. That was alright, though. She was better in bed and her kidou was nearly unsurpassable by anybody but a handful of other shinigami. Her boys may be better warriors, but she was the best spellcaster.

Izuru and Renji were in a cleared spot. Not of debris, not yet, but of counted and collected bodies which gave them privacy. She felt awful to shirk her duties, but she could make it short and sweet. They had all the time in the world with those bastards finally dead.

Izuru looked down at her. There was that sad gaze, she thought.

“I didn’t mean all those things about… you and that man. I know that doesn’t mean much now, and it doesn’t change that I was in the wrong, but I hope you can forgive me.” Izuru said. There was a lowness in his tone he got when he felt guilty.

She reached to hold his face. She feared he would slink away from her touch, or grab her hands and toss them aside again. But he leaned into her palms like they were his only support. Her shoulders trembled as he sobbed without tears, and he collected her in his arms. Renji and Shuuhei soon followed suit and they held each other.

It was a promise a thing like marriage could never live up to. We are here for you. We won’t leave you. We love you, thick and thin.